ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 17th September 2020

Episode Date: September 17, 2020

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Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe Coffee for great tasting barista made coffee. On the go. A couple of things on the agenda for the pre-show podcast chat. One, our corporate highfalutin lunch. Yes. Two, mangoes. Which would you like to address first?

Let's get highfalut' lunch out of the way. We are going on a lunch today with the big boss. Aunty Wendy. Who, for listeners of the show for a long time, is producer James, original James 1.0, is Aunty. That's his Aunty. That's why we call her Aunty Wendy.

So that's how he got his job, nepotism. No, it's not. Isn't it? No. Remember, he got his job because wepotism. No, it's not. Isn't it? No. I remember he got his job because we were impressed with his producer skills when he vomited on Megan's floor and hired a rug doctor immediately. Yeah, that was good organisation. All done by like 10 a.m. Saturday morning.

Right. And then we were like, well, that's the kind of organisation and looseness we need in a radio producer. And he did that while horrifically hungover. I was like, yeah. Good job. Chief Radio and Commercial Officer is Auntie Wendy's official title. Now, so the place we're going to, none of us have been.

This is super fancy. I've been there for a drink once. There's a $45 pie. Jesus. That's nuts. I want to know. Wasn't there a lobster toasty? Yes, it's seafood

Is this why you're wearing your Carmen Sandiego jacket? No, it's a Inspector Gadget jacket Because if it was Carmen Sandiego it would be red It would be red No, but it's a power jacket No, it's just a duck egg blue It's a trench But it's a power trench Because we're getting close to spring So it's like a duck egg blue trench. It's a trench. But it's a power trench.

Because we're getting close to spring, so it's like you can't wear a coat. So we're like a trench. Okay. Yeah, because the Inspector Gadgets was more tan. Yeah. But still a trench. Yeah, this is a duck egg blue trench. Does anybody wear a duck egg blue trench?

Oh, my God. Who wears a duck egg blue trench? I feel like Kate Middleton would wear a duck egg. She would wear a duck egg trench. That my god. Who wears a duck egg blue trench? I feel like Kate Middleton would wear a duck egg. She would wear a duck egg trench. That's a compliment. One hundy. So, with the menu, we've had a pre-look at this menu for the fancy lunch and shit, it's expensive.

Yeah, question. Are you guys to go and dress like that? I was hoping to go home and put on some jeans. I was going to change out of the trackies. What are you wearing? Look. Oh, no, you bought a nice jacket.

Oh, good on you, sister. That needs a lint roller. Do you want me to bring my lint roller? I'll bring the lint roller. I didn't even know it needed a lint roller. Oh, I was going to say, you could come to mine before because I'm over the road from this place. Oh, at least, yeah. Or I'll just bring the lint roller.

Yeah, God, that needs a heavy lint roller. That needs a heavy lint. That needs a heavy lint Like probably I'm gonna have to Take off the adhesive Rolling on a shag pile carpet Yeah it does Have to take off the adhesive layer Into another roll

Oh I always say that Every time I use a lint roller How satisfying is pulling off That lint roller thing We should have used that thing Shard A bought off Facebook It's a lint roller

But there's no roll It's just the shape of the teeth It Oh, it's a shaver though, isn't it? Yeah, it's not really, because it's not sharp. It'd be a great back scratcher as well. But yeah, I think I don't know if it scratches or what it does, but yeah, it gets it all off. But yeah, we need to coordinate what we're going to order for that menu.

Because don't order too much seafood, please. Because I can't eat it. Now, do oysters count as seafood? Yes. I believe so. Okay. That's problematic.

Slow cooked lamb. Yeah, that says to share, but if I get it to share, does that count me out of a mains? You can share that with me and get yourself a mains. And a mains. Yeah. Yes. It's important to coordinate what we're going to order beforehand. That's very. Second on the agenda that I would like to talk about is mangoes. And I'm

loving, at the moment, mangoes in New Zealand are very cheap. Is it because they haven't been able to export them anywhere else? No, I mean the exporting regions. Oh, only if you come here. Product of

Australia? Where are they? Because I can't. I want to say South America. Thai mangoes are the best. You literally can't beat them. Oh, I tried to Google largest mango producer in the world, but I actually accidentally Googled largest mango in the world. So as soon as they were here, what's your guess? Oh, KGs?

KGs. Are we talking also? I'm reading KGs. Or pounds, I've got both. 25. Jesus, no. I was going to say seven. Wild Or pounds, I've got both. 25. Jesus, no. I was going to say seven. Wildly unrealistic.

Three and a half. Is that a pumpkin? Yeah, but that's hardly exciting. I thought you were going to be like, it's the size of a pumpkin. Alfonso is the king of all mangoes, apparently. That is also the most widely exported variety of mango. Largest mango producer. Any guesses before I enter? Apparently That is also the most Widely exported Variety of mango Is that what we get? Largest mango Producer

Any guesses Before I enter? It'll be in South America It's gotta be Gotta be Or Asia Thailand South

I reckon it's a Thailand Or an India Wouldn't it be Yeah I reckon Thailand Cause There's like a mango lassie Yeah Yes there is Yeah And mango's like a mango lassie Yeah

Yes there is Yeah And mango's like Well Thailand does a sticky mountain Largest mango producer in India The world's largest producer of mangoes Along with banana Babaya

And I love papaya I did not see this coming I love papaya Coconut No No Any other guesses

Granny Smith It's another fruit Granny Smith's No Banana's another fruit. Granny Smith's? No. Banana. He doesn't grow apples. He said banana. Yeah.

Lemons. Really? Lemons. Who knew? I never knew. Who knew? Now I've got the top mango producing countries in the world. I've got a list.

It wasn't until recently that I learned how to cut mangoes properly. I think it was an Instagram or one of those Facebook. You go side to side, either side of the stone, and then you slit it, and then you pop it inside out. Like half a tennis ball the dog's eating. And then what do you do with the stuff around the... Nibble. You nibble at the stuff around the side. That's going to get stuck in your teeth.

Yeah, it does. I want mango sticky rice. India made over 18 million tons. You can't. Megan can't have rice. She's a poo. You can't have rice. India made over 18 million tons. You can't. Megan can't have rice. Say she's a poo. I can't have rice. You know she's going to be very careful with rice.

I'm going to make it myself. You can't have cold rice. I don't know how long that's been sitting there. Stare clear, Megan. Just don't have it. Don't have anything. There's over 18 million tons of mangoes. India produces 50% of the world's mango supply.

That could be a fact of the day tomorrow. Holy shit. And then we could recycle this chat That only a few people have heard Onto our main show And Anya's whining us up Why is she whining us up Where have you got to be

We're killing time to our corporate lunch We've got all day She's got chores for Vaughan to do Oh yeah you've got a list of chores Because I'm hanging out Go on that one That's why we never use that one I think it's broken She's got chores for Vaughn to do. Oh, yeah, you've got a list of chores. Because I'm hanging out. Go on that one. That's why we never use that one.

I think it's broken. Hello. It's me. Thank you. Right. What do you want? Just you to do some work, if that's possible. Thanks for coming, everyone. Enjoy the podcast.

Toodles. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fleshfaunaawn and Megan the podcast she's back kia ora after her

horrific bout of diarrhea I had my spies messaging me saying that you were talking about my crippling diarrhea

thanks for listening to the show on your day off shit no it wasn't bad you know that if you leave the room... Fair game.

Fair game. That's what happens. Right. Well, my diary is, do you say cleared up, dried up, solided up, gotten more solid? Thanks, yeah. Viscosity has increased somewhat. Constipated now, aren't you?

Can't even get it moving. Get some Activa in you. It works for Jamie Lee Curtis. Is that a name? No, it's Jamie It works for Jamie Lee Curtis. Is that a name? No, it's Jamie Lee Ross. Jamie Lee Ross, that's right. Yeah, he believes 5G's mind control, COVID's a myth,

and he loves Activa yogurt to get that shit that he talks flowing. Very true. No, it was your hay fever, wasn't it? Yeah. I wasn't aware of what I could take being pregnant because you Google it and it says no. So I've been sorted out with some pregnancy appropriate medication

and I feel good. You can hit the forest today. I don't know if I think I'll stay clear of the forest. Hit the pine forest for a shake. Shake a big pine tree. Breathe it all in. Coming up on the show today, a chance to win cash again. Our 50k fact of the day. All thanks to Save My Bacon.

I'm actually listing $8.25 today to win that cash. The top six on the way. Yeah, apparently a surge in people studying real estate. Because even with everything going on, house prices are still going crazy. Isn't that nuts? Yeah. Houses are still selling

and apparently people are looking to get into the market. Right. Of putting things on the market and then selling things on the market. So the top six things you'll need if you want to be a real estate agent. And next, get a bucket and a mop because we're going to talk about mops.

Give me everything you've got. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. You'd be forgiven for thinking that this is an old ad. Talk about mops. Give me everything you've got. You'd be forgiven for thinking that this is an old ad back in the day, but this was advertised on Groupon in the UK. Okay. And it's for mops. It's like a coupon. Coopins.

Coopin. Coopins. It's like Coopins. Way to the coupon. Yeah. It's advertised as, and there's five lovely colours, a women's spray mop with microfiber pads. Now, I was like, is the description, is it like, I don't know, does it explain what they're talking about?

It sounds like the mop Sade purchased recently. Oh, yeah. It's a mop, but it's got this bottle that you click in halfway up the arm oh yeah yeah yeah and you pull a little trigger and it squirts just in front of where the so you don't need to like

do a full on mop so you sweep or you vacuum or whatever and then yeah you just you spray and then you mop

so you can put like disinfectant in there or something yeah you buy the stuff and that's where they got you I said to you I'll mix you up a little something

you can refill that bottle with some dineros. You can just put like spray and wipe in there or something. Yeah, effectively, I think that's what it's like, right? But it's on the thing and the trigger's up by the handle. So you just mix a bit of bleach. You don't need to get down on your hands and knees. I like bleach mix.

That would be so handy because I hate doing mopping. Yeah, I love to fill the bucket. Do you ever have a steam mop? No. Not good, but apparently not great for the type of floor we'veopping. Yeah, I love, we had a steam mop. Do you have a steam mop? No. That good, but apparently not great for the type of floor we've got. Oh, okay.

So. Well, you two are kind of missing the point that it's, these are not for you, these mops. These are specifically women's. Literally just talked about

how we'd love one. You can't have it. It's a women's spray mop. Because it's specifically for women. God, you just get all the good stuff. Man, I'm so, I'm so unjealous. Sexist much? Yeah, get all the good stuff. Man, I'm so sexist. I'm jealous.

Sexist much? Yeah, everyone's like, okay, cool. So we're the ones doing the mopping. And guys were like, yeah, how come we can't use it? Is there something in there that's special for women only? Someone was like, my husband, so if I buy this, he definitely can't mop. You have to log on with your vagina or something. You scan your vagina.

That's a start. Wow. Because sometimes if I fold my elbow and I get real close, it looks a little bit like one. Do you ever do that? When we were like 10. That's nasty. It looks like your butt.

I wouldn't be going home with that, but undeniable. It's strictly in here. Yeah, I know. And because because it's a close-up the hairs look really big like just you've got sparse but super coarse hair people are like hey look there we what are you doing whatever I'm a guy I don't have many standards on these what time should I come around okay well it's been taken down so So no one can buy one now Right Just for the best Kanye West has

Just tweeted Moments ago Cool We need to discuss this next And what his wife wants to do Yeah Are they still What's the latest there

Are they still together Yeah what's his status I don't know They're not Are they living I don't He was going back to LA wasn't he Are they living together Probably because He wasn't allowed, wasn't he? Are they living together?

Probably because he wasn't allowed to mop. You're going to have to search that story too. My computer just restarted for some reason. That was an interesting move on your computer's behalf. I watched it flicker and then just started to restart. I'm out. I'm out today. All right, it's next.

It's like his other computer told me what he looks up. I'm out. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's like, his other computer told me what he looks up. I'm out. We're going to get to Kanye's tweet storm in just a second. But Kim and Kim Kardashian and a whole bunch of other celebrities are joining in a revolt against Instagram. So they are saying they're going to freeze their Instagram and Facebook accounts on Wednesday. So today to revolt against them because they say it allows for hate, propaganda and misinformation to spread.

So Leonardo DiCaprio is on board. And Amy Schumer is on board. Ashton Kutcher, Olivia Wilde, Jamie Foxx, Michael B. Jordan, Jennifer Lawrence, heaps of them. And it's called Stop Hate for Profit. Right. Because have you guys seen The Social Dilemma yet? Nah. I watched it the other night. Yeah, I've heard it's pretty confronting. Confronting. You've never been in a good space to watch it. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, it's not, we kind of know it all already,

but just hearing these people that, you know, the guy that invented the like button and all these people that invented what we're using and they're all a bit like, oh yeah, the genie's out of the bottle now.

We're kind of screwed. Can't put it back in. Yeah. Oh my God. Has it changed the way you do anything? Um, nah. I mean,

I've turned off all my, I turned off all my notifications a long time ago. So my regular Facebook, I don't get regular Facebook notifications unless I go into the app. Right. Right. And stuff like that. Like they talk about that in the show, like leaving your phone away from you. Kind of stuff we've talked about in the past.

But yeah, it's quite insane the amount of data they've got on you. It's quite scary. So you can see why they're doing it. And all the political discourse that's happening in America and here at the moment. Yeah. Well, it's not Facebook or Instagram. Kanye has favoured Twitter for this, so he's okay. So on a day that his wife and everyone else is making a stand on social media.

Because these tweets, the latest was 38 minutes ago, so this is just now. An hour ago is the one I'm going to talk about. He has posted parts of his record deal and he's kind of saying, you know,

all musicians are stuck in these deals, blah, blah, blah. All the musicians will be free. He's got a point there, though. Yeah. I mean, Taylor would have agreed a few months ago. And he said, Bono, can I get a retweet? I love you, Paul.

Can I get a retweet? Love you, Drake, Kendrick, even Taylor. He's trying to get retweets. And then right after that, he put his Grammy in his toilet and there is a video of him peeing on it. And he said trust me, I won't stop. There is one. Above that it says this tweet is no longer

available. So he has looked back and been like actually I'm going to delete that one. But not the peeing on the Grammy one. Or would it have been taken down by YouTube? Is that allowed? Kind of gross. It's still on YouTube. I just found it on YouTube. Because is that allowed? Kind of gross. It's still on YouTube.

I just found it on YouTube. Right. Wow. But paying on a Grammy would be hard because there's so many different surfaces. You might not know this, Megan, but there's so many different surfaces and curves and angles that you might be paying at one minute

and it won't be getting any splashback and then you'll hit the other side of it and all of a sudden it's all back over the front of your pants. You'll be pleased to know he's going for all different angles on it. He's making sure he's covering all his ground. I'm just wondering, the splash back though, he must have at the end of it been like, ooh, if you sprinkle, when you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seating. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hello there. News that in New Zealand, people, an increase in the amount of people studying real estate lately. Okay. People looking to get into real estate. I thought the great, hey, person in your 30s who you haven't talked to for a while. Oh, you seem to have changed your profile picture. Oh, you get a little flag and oh,

you're a real estate agent now. With somebody. They were always with somebody. Right. Why were they with somebody? Wouldn't you make more money if you were just selling the house by yourself? Yeah, I would have thought that too. But you'll always see them teaming up. Yeah, yeah, the team. So they aim to sell twice as many?

Maybe, yeah. As a team. And then can you like split weekends or something? Maybe. So apparently the numbers of people studying are going up. Right. And even experts are saying that it doesn't look like the house prices are going to crash in New Zealand as they may have expected they would with the recession.

Well, there's super low interest rates. Yeah. And then with everything going on, house prices are going up. Isn't it nuts? New Zealand as they may have expected they would with a recession. Super low interest rates. Yeah. And then with everything going on, house prices are going up. Isn't it nuts? Because I heard it's the same as, you know, how we talked about people buying spas and stuff. Because you're spending all your time at home,

people are upgrading their homes. Yeah. Right. Okay. Well, if you're thinking about it, you're mulling it over, these are the top six things you'll need to be a good real estate agent. Okay. Number six, a car heavy enough to weigh down a flag.

Because you park your car and then you put your little flag thing out with the wheel holder on it and then you back over the thing and then your car holds the flag down. And it says like, open home. There's fancy ones that connect onto the tow bar. I have seen those ones. You're dealing with a bougie real estate agent

if they've got one of those. Yeah, but if you don't have a car with a tow bar, that's expensive to get a tow bar attached and then get the tow bar flagged. But I'd also forget to take it off and I'd be halfway home and it'd be like... Through the drive-thru and it's like... hitting the roof.

Great advertising. As it's whooping down the motorway. Number five on the list of the top six things you'll need to be a good real estate agent. A really clicky pen. Do they love a clicky pen? Yeah, when they get you to sign something. Oh, there's a pen there.

This won't be clicky enough. Oh, not bad, not bad. You can hear the cheapness in that pen, though. Just sign there. Yeah. You can hear the cheapness in the pen. It's an NZP pen. You can hear the cheapness in that pen, though. Just sign there. Yeah. You can hear the cheapness in the pen. You can hear the looseness. The company's cheaped out.

Sounds loose. It sounds plastic. Yeah, it sounds plastic. You want a good, like a park, one of those. Have you ever used a heavy pen? Like someone's made you sign something. Oh, and it's heavy. And they've given you the pen from the pocket.

Oh, yeah, I love a heavy pen. Yeah. With a thick nib. Yeah, I love a heavy pen. With a thick nib. Yeah, I love a thick nib. That. Yeah. Cheap. That's the kind of pen you'd have if you were a real estate agent.

No way. If I was a real estate agent, I'd have a stupid amount of importance on dumb stuff like pens and like a nice leather folder to keep my stuff in and a tow bar flag. You'd have a bick and a pleather and a nice leather folder to keep my stuff in and a tow bar flag. You'd have a bick and a pleather and a pleather folder and a homemade flag. For sale.

Just a cardboard, just a fridge box with for sale written on it. And you've drawn your face on it. Harcourt's head office are like, Vaughan, please stop making your own flags.

We've got our own. I'll be like, you watch your mouth, Harcourt. So I'll pop over to Ray White and he'll snaffle me up like a pig with getting their little snout in a trough. Sign here. You would be the worst real estate agent ever.

I'd be, I just wouldn't like having to deal with people. Yeah. Yeah, you'd be hiding when the open home's happening. Hello? Hello? Shh. It's locked. It'll go away eventually. Why are we hiding?

We're creating demand. Because if nobody answers, they'll freak out. They'll be like, already off the market. And then old Vaughan Smith will be able to afford a flag, not a real little fridge box. Number four on the list of the top six things you'll need to be a good real estate agent are a shoe horn. Because you're going to be asking a lot of people to take their shoes off and a lot of

people will need to get their shoes back on. Yeah. And some people struggle to get their shoes back on. That would be really nice, actually. A branded shoe horn. Yeah. Yes. Because the people that wear shoes that you can't just slip your foot in and out of,

or it's a whole laced ordeal, like if it is just a slip-on shoe, they're a bit posher. Yeah. They probably want to buy a hat. So if you give them a branded shoe horn, your brand's in the house with them now. Yeah. That's brand, baby.

That's brand. Number three on the list of the top six things you'll need to be a good real estate agent A box of cheap yet expensive looking wine to give as congratulation gifts Oh yeah And you'll either know how to have to make a bow Or you'll buy those little pre-made bows I buy pre-made Double sided blue tack onto the wine bottle

Be like Was thinking of you You're like wow you've made like $55,000. But okay, cool, this $16 bottle of Merloff. Wow, yep, this shows you care. Number two on the list of the top six things you'll need to be a good real estate agent. Absolutely no weekend plans that involve

leaving the area you sell houses in. I know. You're like, can they ever go away on holidays? You could go like early in the week, right? But if you've got kids, the kids need to go to school. Oh, yeah.

If you're a, if you're a playboy real estate agent, sure. Take Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Right. You'll be back for Thursday

because Thursday's auction day. Friday's auction day. Saturday, Sunday, you're going to be running them open homes, baby. Oh, how do you do that hungover no thanks this sounds like a

horrible job coke it's not cocaine right okay that'll get you selling some houses want to live in Rimuera do you

oh boy I've got a house for you alright and number one on the list of the top six things you'll need to be a good real estate agent

A smile that says don't look too closely at this house It's a proper heap of shit Just trust my smile I'm smiling Hey houses Sign here That's today's top six Well in Britain

There is plans As yet not confirmed But there is plans, as yet not confirmed, but there are plans that if you are pregnant, if you don't know you're pregnant, and you go to your doctor and the doctor's like, I believe you may be pregnant. Have you had any wine? Or Bacardi breezes?

Unless you were trying. Unless you were trying, Or kickstands? Unless you were trying, you probably would have if it was a surprise, right? You may have. You may have. That will go on your permanent record and the permanent record of your child. What? What do you mean permanent record of your kid?

Well, apparently like the permanent health record. So when you go to the doctor and they're like, oh yeah, you've had your vaccinations. Oh, oh, mum had a Chardonnay. She was, in fact, she was like eight weeks pregnant.

She didn't know. In fact, she's had many Chardonnays. She had many Chardonnays. Yeah, so that's why you're no good at math. But,

like, English might be a thing. Right. We are English after all. They're bringing that in as a, as might be a thing. Right. We are English after all. They're bringing that in as, like, a new rule. Who's going to admit to that, though? I know. I was like, you're just not saying.

You're just lying. Yeah, well, you're not going to. They said, oh, it's to help identify children at risk of fetal alcohol spectrum disorder. Right. But other agencies are saying, well, it's not really. It's like if the, sure, if the mother has an alcohol problem and if it's a problem,

but every infringement would be noted. So if you went in and you, have you been drinking lately? Yeah, I had a big weekend last weekend. Or yeah, I had a couple of wines after work last Friday. Right. Oh, shit. Will the test results be back?

Oh, yeah, pregnant. Let's work this out. Oh, yeah, eight weeks pregnant. Well, this has got to go on the record. Oh, that's a bit full on. Which is a bit rough. Yeah. And some people are saying, yeah, they had no idea.

Because imagine as an adult being able to look at your medical records and seeing that mum had a couple of, you know, bottles of Jim Beam. Yeah. While she was pregnant. As an adult, being able to look at your medical records and seeing that mum had a couple of bottles of Jim Beam. Yeah. While she was pregnant. Mum had a barefooted Cody's at Raglan over summer. She didn't know she was pregnant. She was up the duff from the campground.

You'd be like, oh, mum. Because I was like, oh, I need to try that non-alcoholic wine and see if it's nice. Mum's like, oh, I just had a couple of whiskeys with you. I was like, oh, I need to try that non-alcoholic wine and see if it's nice. And mum's like, oh, I just had a couple of whiskeys with you. I was like, sorry, what now? That explains a lot, doesn't it? She was like, just a little one every now and then is all right. I was like, well, I don't know. When she was pregnant.

When she was pregnant with you. Yeah, but back in the, like, something years ago. In the 60s when you were born. Yeah, okay. 70s, 80s. She said, oh, the doctor just, because I was having trouble sleeping, so the doctor said,

just have a little tipple of whiskey. The doctor said that? I was like, oh, this is different times, mum. That is a crazy thing. Like doctors used to endorse different brands of cigarettes in the 50s. Oh my God.

That's nuts. And that's when I was like, that might be when your grandparents were like babies. So their parents would have been like, doctor, I'm pregnant, as you can tell. What beer and what ciggies do you recommend? Different times.

Steinlager Classic and Marlboro Reds, of course. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Community Notices. Hello there. Welcome to today's Community Notices. A segment on the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook, obviously Facebook dramas most of the time,

but Facebook posts. Yeah. And any, like the neighbourlies and all that sort of stuff as well. Let's go to the Franklin Grapevine Open Sharing Group. Often this comes to us with some goodies. I think it's because it's an open page. So if you don't belong to it, you can see it. Renee asks, has anyone got a horny male budgie?

Oh. My hen is on her high breeding and none of the three male budgies I have are interested. She's rubbing herself on the rope and doing her thing. Is this what your mum's got, budgies? No, canaries. Same thing though, aren't they? Small birds that get horny by the sounds of things.

I don't know. I've never known them to get horny. Do your mum's canaries don't get horny? They don't rub themselves on inanimate objects? Nah. Like a teenage boy? They have bathny. They don't rub themselves on objects. Nah. Like a teenage boy. They have baths. They have baths?

Yeah. In dirt or in... Water. Water. They water bathe themselves. Or she's rubbing herself on the rope and doing her thing and running from side to side. Right. It'd be good if I could borrow your...

And this is where she uses the official term for a male budgie. It'd be good if I could borrow your COCK if needed. Right. I have a separate Avery ready with a nest box, but all my males are in their own la-la-la, and I think she's got a case of the gay canary. Or the gay budgie. The gay budgie.

The gay budgie. Three males and a horny female, and not one of them wants to step up to procreate. Do they have to be in the rights? and a horny female and not one of them wants to step up to procreate, I think you've got gay budgies. Do they have to be in the right... Do they have to be... They're males. I know.

I didn't want to assume that they'd just be keen any time. I think it's... She's a hate sweetest. It's not insulting to assume all males want it all the time. It's a popular question online, is my budgie gay? Really? It's a whole subreddit. Wow. A subreddit of is my budgie gay. Really? It's a whole subreddit. Wow.

A subreddit of is my budgie gay. Yeah. Phenomenal. The internet, eh? If you think you've got a dumb question, someone's already asked it. Yeah. Yes. If you think you've got a dumb question, there's probably already a subreddit for it.

Yeah. Let's pop over to Birkenhead. Akiko writes, I just had an old lady with a scarf wandering around the back of my house looking for her kittens I'm new to the area Is she a local Is she genuine Or was she scoping the place

Anyone know her I suggested Knocking on the front door Instead of just Sneaking around The back of people's houses She said Sweet as

And someone said Welcome to the neighbourhood Unfortunately There is a gang Of old lady burglars In the area What No they're being sarcastic.

Normally they just say garden gnomes and pot plants, but I've been getting bolder lately breaking and looking for doilies. I was going to say. We're like, what? There's a gang. We get a lot of reports. It seems to be a very popular pastime on the shore. Right. Just walking around

the back of people's houses. Oh. For a look. Gotta get a gate. Get a gate. You need a big gate. And a dog. Yeah. To go behind the gate. Right. Just walking around the back of people's houses. Oh. For a look. Gotta get a gate. Get a gate. You need a big gate and a dog to go behind the gate. That'll stop them. This is from the Matua community.

Christine writes, morning, we woke up this morning to find someone stolen our entire box's hedge at our letterbox. B-U-X-U-S.

You familiar with that type of hedging? That's a type of plant, right? Well, it was an established. The ones that you can trim nicely. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like you really fertilise them, they thicken up. I think probably what they use at Hamilton Gardens

for that new Edward Scissorhands exhibition, like a boxers. What? What? There's an exhibition? You know how they've done all that? No. The sculpted hedges.

Oh, okay. You should know. This is your home sitting. Yeah, I'm all for it, but no, I didn't know. The topiary. I think those are called topiary. Oh, yeah. So the art of trimming the...

Topiary. Well, no, I'm just looking at this boxers. If she had a thick boxers, I can see why people wanted it. Christine, she's angry though. Someone will have an instant established hedge today. So if your neighbours have a new hedge. Do you want an instant established hedge? Yeah.

Well, then steal Christine's boxers, but somebody beat you to it. They've dug it up and everything. Right. It looks like a substantial. How did they get away with that? High-vis jackets. I don't know. I'd never question anyone digging up a hedge with a high-vis.

I'd probably just let them take it. And finally, from the Mocha Waker buy, sell, and community page, Jay writes, oh, dear, my fried oysters came out with the batter soft. How do I make the crispy oyster batter, please? Oh. These oysters, the bad is too soft. That's today's community notices. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

All right, tissues ready? Mm-hmm. Tissues ready. Oh, wait. Well, we'll just all wait for you to get your tissues. I've got them. Here we go. When you try your best

but you don't succeed. Well, it's to the UK that we go for today's sad story to make you cry. By the way, when you're pregnant, aren't you meant to get

like real sad and stuff all the time? Your hormones are racing in your mate. Oh God, you're already... No. Do you remember,

this was before I told you I was pregnant. Your daughters got up on stage and accepted awards I bawled my eyes out watching that video really I was so proud of them

oh my god Andy now you've got me going literally like already watering so this is a story about Tony I'm not pregnant so I didn't feel that way

I was just like oh god they give awards to everybody these days, don't they? It would take more than pregnancy to melt your ice heart. This is a story about Tony, who's 75. In May this year, he lost his wife. Jo, he'd been married to her for 35 years. Speaking of old cute couples in the UK, that couple that we all follow on Instagram.

Did you see she's out of hospital? Oh, thank God. Jeffrey. Jeffrey and what's her name? And they're big on Instagram. They've got like celebrity followers. I don't want to follow them because I don't want my heart broken. Jeffrey Walk. That's their name. They've been

together since like World War II. They've been together forever and a day. And they love going out for a little... Pauline. Pauline. That's her name. Pauline's back. There she is there. Pauline had a fall.

Thank you for the messages. Quick update to say she's feeling a lot better. But I tell you what, there was a time there I thought we'd lost Pauline. Also, like classic Jeffrey, like called the ambulance and then got straight on the gram. Put a video of her getting the air and everything. He's an influencer. 362,000 followers. Jeffrey Walk.

Follow, it's so cute. They're the cutest old couple. And that's coming from Fletch. Yeah. It's just like, hello, everyone. Yeah, we're doing a puzzle today. He's got a roast on. But he's good with the gram.

It's pretty funny. And he'd be older than 75. Oh, he'd be like, they're in the 80s, I think. Yeah, yeah, they'd have to be in their late 80s. But this tiny 75, and he was with his wife for 35 years. No children and no family that lived nearby. After his wife died, he sat by the phone, willing it to ring. But it never did.

What's his name? This guy's Tony. Tony put two ads in the local paper. That cost him $230 to put ads in the paper. Wow. And the ad read the same as the poster he popped in the window of his house. Because that's the other thing. He as the poster he popped in the window of his house. Because that's the other thing. He's old. He's in the bracket of COVID. You've got to be very careful of the COVID.

Yeah, you do. You know, he's the person that we're all playing safe to protect. He put in his window a poster that read, I have lost my Joe, my lovely wife and soulmate. I have no friends or family. No one to talk to. I find the unremitting silence 24 hours a day unbearable torture. Can no one help?

But he said, not many people walk past my house. But he can't go and put the poster in a more public place because he's isolating because he's worried about COVID. Yeah. It's funny. He said, it's worried about COVID. Yeah. It's funny. He said, it's my last resort. Anyway,

a local media outlet picked up the story and printed in the paper that this was the story of Tony and he'd lost his wife, Jo, who they had a perfect marriage, as they said it, but were unable to have children.

And Jo got sick. They didn't know what was wrong with her. She found out she had pancreatic cancer and died nine days later in May this year. So a kind of blind side of them, and he said he's been really alone. But since has been inundated with hundreds of offers of people who would happily talk to him on the phone for an hour a day. Somebody offered to set up a schedule. Apparently quite fond of writing,

so people said they'd be more than happy to be his pen pal. He's been inundated. However, on the walk to the letterbox to get his letter from his new pen pals, a concrete truck driver fell asleep at the wheel, mounted the curb, ran him over,

smashed through his picket fence and ran him out. No. No. For any new listeners, it always ends with a concrete track killing them, but it doesn't. Sometimes you get to the end of the story and no one's upset, so you have to really ramp it up.

Megan's been crying. Out of nowhere. No, it's because it's a happy ending. Yeah, it is a happy ending. I want to write to him. Has he got his address there? I'll write to him. No, it doesn't. Maybe with some him. Has he got his address there? I'll write to him. I know, it doesn't.

Maybe with some further searching I could find his address. Well, then you'll have your baby in February, but I'm not writing to him. I'm too busy. I'm not emotional anymore. I'll be like, I'll go pop down the post, see if Megan's sent me a message. Walk, walk, walk. Watch out, my brakes are out. Oh, I can't wait to read my latest bit post.

Fletch, Fawn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Last night, Sade had uni. That's right, I'm sleeping with a uni student. Fletch, I can see the appeal. Well, one day she said she'll let me. If I'm really good. Yeah. But then by my birthday, she'll let me if I'm really good yeah but then by my birthday

she'll be finished you haven't even used your student discount yet have you is that like a euphemism no it's like I don't even know

if she's got an ID card I forgot to ask her I'll ask her now or she gets student benefits but yeah so she was out the girls and I were home. Also,

they're always so much better behaved when it's just me. Really? Yeah. Like, they just, I'm just like,

hey, it's time for this. They're like, okay. But then if Sade's there, they'll like try it out. But then, I have to be the bad guy

when she's there, but then when she's not there, I'm onto something. So you're saying you're the cooler parent? No, I'm the scarier parent. Okay.

But last night they did everything they were asked and I said, well, as a reward play yourself some Roblox because bloody Roblox. This is a game, isn't it?

This is a game. Yeah. All they want to do is this, that and Roblox but the cool thing about it is you play it for a certain time but then you can design your own games within Roblox. Right. That's all they want to do is this, that, and Roblox. But the cool thing about it is you play it for a certain time, but then you can design your own games within Roblox.

Right. And there's all these different games. Anyway, so they're playing Roblox, and then I'm at the table doing some work, and I'm like, can you guys hear that noise? What is that noise? And they're like, yeah, I can hear it. I was like, oh, that doesn't sound good.

So I started looking around because I didn't even know what it could be. It was just a very unusual noise. What, like a hum? Can you do it? Like sort of an insect or a scratching or something. A bit more insect-y than this. No, I don't know. Okay, that sounds demonic.

It sounded like something was somewhere it shouldn't be. A rat or like some insects. Okay. So I was like, God. So I started looking and it was one of those sounds you couldn't identify where it was coming from. You know those sounds like a cricket? Yeah.

You know when you go looking for a cricket or a cicada and you're like, my ears tell me it's over here. And then you're like, nope. And then you turn around and it's like way back over there. You're like, cricket, cicada, how do you do it? Yeah. You're so clever. I spent 25 minutes looking for this noise.

And then I was just like losing my mind because I had no clue as to what it was. And I was like, can you guys just mute what you're doing for a minute just so I can get a better bearing on where the sound's coming from? And they muted it and the noise disappeared. And I was like, oh, I'm out of interest what game you're playing on Roblox

there, August. And she's like, oh, it's this one where you're trapped and you've got to try to find the way out and you scratch on doors and stuff. I was like, So when I was like, can you guys hear that scratching and you were controlling the player that was scratching, you didn't think to be like, yeah, it's this game I'm playing scratching. But she was like, oh, I couldn't hear the noise you could hear. I just wanted you to stop talking so I could keep playing. I love her. And I was like, okay, cool.

Now Indy, what are you up to over here and she's like oh I'm playing the same game as August I was like so again you didn't

when I'm like losing my mind and going nuts you didn't think oh dad's looking for a scratching noise and we're playing a game that involves

scratching and she was like I wasn't really listening right I just said what August said they tune you out like we do they totally tune me out And she was like, I wasn't really listening. Right. I just said what Elga said. They tune you out like we do. I know, they totally tune me out.

And also they got 25 minutes extra of game time. Did they what? They probably knew exactly what they were doing. Little buggers. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Right now, if you're listening and you're from Whanganui, we would like you to call us on 0800-DARLS-AT-M. Because Whanganui is up against Hamilton in the city of the year.

The most beautiful city in New Zealand. The most beautiful city. Yeah. Whanganui, current title holders. Yeah, currently the most beautiful city. Yeah. What's it got? It's been a while since I've been.

I know it does have its features. Doesn't it have the largest indoor, no, in-earth lift public in the world? What? The largest and oldest in-earth public lift in the world? Because you're going to the bottom of the hill and you came out the top of the hill. Remember they reopened it last year? I've got no idea what you're talking about. They were like, when they were establishing...

An elevator. Yeah, a lift. An elevator. In a hill. In a hill. And it's the largest and oldest in the world, I'm sure. Of its type, in a hill. Hmm.

I mean, they're getting very specific. Okay, well... It's the largest lift. Fiona's called. Good morning, Fiona. Good morning. Now, you're from Whanganui, the current most beautiful city in New Zealand. I am.

Would you agree, Fiona? I do. It's a beautiful place. Oh, good passion. I'm hearing the passion. I'm not getting any nonsense here. Now, it's been a while since I've been, because we used to drive through all the time from New Plymouth

if we were, like, going to Wellington. It's been a while since I've been. I remember they got a Burger King before us, and that was a touchy issue. But what else is beautiful about it? The river? that was a touchy, a touchy issue. But what else is beautiful about it? The river? The river,

the river, the beaches are lovely. Okay. There's lots of parks and activities for children and lots of sporting facilities and things. Right,

but is it more beautiful than every other city in the country? I think it's more beautiful than every other city in the country. What about? I'm looking at a,

what do you call it where you start taking a photo and you have a panoramic view. It is quite, it's more beautiful than every other city in the country. What about? I'm looking at a, what do you call it, where you start taking a photo and you have a panoramic view. It is quite beautiful. And there's a bit of history in the area, isn't there, too? Yes, there's a lot of history based around the river. Yeah, yeah, because it was like a motorway before there were motorways. What about, like, sunshine hours? Because as someone from Nelson, that's what we like to skype.

Yeah, I've been really impressed. Whanganui has warm temperatures in the summer and it's quite mild in the winter. You're a great ambassador. How long have you lived there? I lived here a while ago and I moved away for a few years and we've been back here for three years. Oh, so you moved away and you're safe.

Couldn't stay away. See you later and you look at it in the rearview mirror and then one day you're back. Thanks, Fiona. Johnny, also from Whanganui, good morning. Good morning. Now, have you been to Nelson? No, never.

Okay, because Megan would like to argue that Nelson's better. And you've lived in Nelson Fletch. It's beautiful. Yeah. Nah, mate, not a chance. Whanganui's a pearl. We've got a beautiful lake with a nice walk around it, cherry blossoms, you know, going summer and all that stuff.

We've got the beautiful river separating the town. You've got a beach, about a five-minute walk from everywhere. Nice spot. It's got a big, high tower called Jury Hotel. You can check out the whole town. Oh, mate, it's awesome. I love how Johnny appreciated the cherry blossom. He did.

Actually, I'm looking at a photo. Is that Virginia Lake? The Virginia Lake that you're talking about? I always see people take a photo of that. Yeah, mate, Virginia Lake. Yeah, for sure. It looks beautiful. Yeah, right, okay.

Yeah, dude. It's got a fountain. You chuck two bucks in a little box somewhere, and it sprays up all the water and lights up. Get out of town. How long does $2 last? Oh, mate, you get a good five minutes to leave that place. It loses its interest after about two, but, you know, it's still nice.

I tell you what, Hamilton's got its work cut out in the final if it's going to beat Fungal Evil. I know, because that's why most people have said, take the Hamilton Gardens away, what you got? I'm just like, um... Beach? River? We don't have a beach.

Exactly. Do you still have the number one chlamydia? Or is that Gisborne? No, Gisborne got that. Okay, well, that's... We've got the riffraff statue on the main street. Okay, don't look at me like that. You've got the Peter Pan statue, don't you?

Down along the river? Yeah. Oh, no, I don't think so. I don't know about us, but we've got this giant, like, silver ball thing and a giant pencil. That's pretty cool. I'm on board, man.

I want to go and see this giant pencil. You sold it to me. Why is there a big giant pencil? Did the guy that invented pencils, is he from there? I think I might have oversold the word giant. I'm tired. I mean, it's still pretty nice. Johnny's like, uh-oh.

He's going to get a call on the other line from Whanganui Tourism. They're like, hey, manage your expectations, please, Johnny. We're just going to be coming here to see the giant pencil. We're just going to sell it first, get you here, and then, you know, deal with it. Once you're there, you've got us. Over-promise and under-deliver. You've got a wildlife, there's a wildlife sanctuary.

Oh, show me, show me, show me. Oh, dude, no, those are cool pencils. I know the cool pencils. They're got a wild, there's a wildlife sanctuary. Oh, show me, show me, show me. Oh, dude, no, those are cool pencils. I know the cool pencils. They're like a two, they're like an actual, like, proper. Oh, no, they're giant. Yeah, dude, those are rad pencils. Yeah, okay, they're like the HP pencils you had at school. Yeah, that you'd shave a bit off the end

and you'd write your name on the side so nobody. Why are they on the side of a river? Because it's hard, Megan. Somebody to check out while you're walking along. Gives you a goal, you know. Oh, there's a giant ball. I tell you what, I don't want Hamilton to win.

I want Whanganui to win again. I'm just looking at their website. It's beautiful. Visit Whanganui. My vote. Motua Gardens. I've got this wicked playground too called Kofi Park

that's all based on nursery rhymes and stuff. It's awesome. You're a great ambassador. I want to go now. You should run for mayor, Johnny. I'm never seen on such passion. The Giant Pencils are number five

on the TripAdvisor top ten. So they're not even number one. I mean, that's what we're dealing with here. Yeah, right. Just incredible. Johnny, thank you. Saddle up, Hamilton. We're in big trouble. I don't know when they're judging this competition, but yeah. Somebody said also in Whanganui, people put extensive work into making their black leather jackets

look nice with red and blue patches. I think they do that in Hamilton too, so... Yeah, they do. All over. That's a New Zealand wine thing, I think. Yeah. Brilliant. Flesh, Vaugh, they do. All over. That's a New Zealand wine thing, I think. Yeah. Brilliant. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. I would like to talk about something I just stumbled across. I just thought about this randomly. To the secret to a long and happy relationship. Hey, we all have our bumps. We have our bumps. We have our trying times. Is it your 10-year wedding anniversary in November, isn't it?

Yeah. I can't believe that was 10 years ago. Wow, crazy. So that means it's 10 years ago I vombed on that beach on Waiheke Island. Yep. And 10 years ago that Megan got the spa pool disease. Oh, yeah. It was a great weekend.

On top of folliculitis. It was a great weekend. We were having a good time. Yeah. And I just thought about this. Sade and I are very heat compatible. Are you? This is the secret.

It's a big part of it, right? You've got to be, to make it last, you've got to be heat compatible. Now, so you're saying temperature like in the bedroom, in the car, in the house, everything like that. Correct. correct. Interesting. Like she, we agree that it's like a blanket or not a blanket time. Okay. We agree on like air conditioning heat in the car or the heat pump heated at home.

She might be, it's a little bit cold. I'll be like, yeah, that's fine. What does she sleep in, in bed? A t-shirt and undies. Do you think this is weird because you're different? I don't take this the wrong way, but you're different body sizes, aren't you? How dare you? But you know what I mean?

How dare you say that about me? But also guys. Am I not a 50-something kg woman? You're not a 50 kg woman, no. Well, there goes my modelling hopes. Guys tend to run hotter anyway. Like your metabolism's faster and you're generally more hot all the time.

Thanks. Than we are, temperature-wise. Yeah. Because I experience this in the studio all day. We're not. We're not. We're not. You are always cold.

Yeah. And where Fletch and I are sitting at, because we're pretty heat compatible. We're not. We're not. You are always cold. Yeah. And where Fletch and I are sitting at, because we're pretty heat compatible. We are. That's why we've lasted so long. We're New Zealand's most successful, still working together radio couple. Yeah.

Yeah. Two secrets. Absolute fact. Never actually put out. Yep. Because that's when you get sex involved is when it gets messy. Don't get married and temperature compliance.

Yeah. Yeah. But we're not temperature compatible with you because you're always like, it's in the hair conditioner. So we're temperature compatible in like the shower. Like if we were to have a shower together, we could run the heat in here and not be like turn it up or turn it down. We just run a similar, like, cups of coffee.

I make hers exactly the same as I make mine. Oh, okay. And that's at a temperature that you can kind of, it's hot at the start, but you work your way through. Like, we're heat compatible. Because I like showers to make me feel like I'm alive. I like it to sting my skin. Yeah.

And so when I get out of the shower, like, he hates it. Are you a reptile? Like, that's lukewarm. Are you a reptile? Because you'rekewarm. Are you a reptile? Because you're running cold. Yeah, that's why she's got that big rock at her house, the lion and the sun. But when I get out of the shower, I have to turn the handle back down

because otherwise it'll literally, like, scold him. Do you never turn the handle of the shower to straight down, like, mid-range when you hop out? No. I always do that. I always turn it off and put it back to a happy medium. Have you not told Mr. Toyboy to put his hand under the shower before he hops under? No. I always do that. I always turn it off. Like reset. Put it back to a happy medium. Have you not told Mr. Toyboy to put his hand under the shower before he hops under?

God, you'd think so. Have you told him not to just put his hand under a tap while he turns it on or to just grab at the pots that he sees on the stove? Because they might have hot water in them. Yeah. But I have blankets on the couch and he doesn't. So we're not really, he can pet it all.

See, if Sade's got a blanket on the couch, I could also do with a blanket. But she's never blanketed up when I'm running hot. But she always likes to put the heat pump on and you don't. Is that the only issue? No, no, no. That's because I put a sweatshirt on. Whereas she just wants to stay in a T-shirt.

So I would be cold if I was also dressed the same as her. Right, okay. Where she just doesn't like being told to put on socks And a sweatshirt to get warm Rather than turning on the heat pump So I was wondering this morning Is there anybody with a partner That is just wildly heat incompatible Like

You might be like I love going to tropical islands But your partner's like it's too bloody hot I don't like being that hot. Yeah. I'd rather be running a little bit cold. Or like the blanket thing, like, because, you know, Europeans have the two different duvets.

Yeah. They don't do one big king-sized duvet or queen-sized duvet. They do individual. And I wonder if there are couples that do that. Like someone's running a lighted duvet compared to a heavier. Yeah. Yeah. The only thing Actually now she's just messaged me

The only thing is that If we're in a spa She gets out of a spa Before I do because I'm just kind of too hot Yeah right okay And I think it's because she won't put her head under You shouldn't be put her head under.

You're not meant to. You shouldn't be putting your head under either. No, because I don't have hair that can get, the reason you shouldn't put your head under is you don't want your hair getting caught in it. No, it's your ears. It's your ears. You get germs and stuff. Trust me, I've had hot tub folliculitis. Yeah.

Don't put your head under. Yeah, but I mean, if you've got that on the rest of your body, you might as well have it on your face, right? All right, so 0800DARLS.M, give us a call now. You can text as well, 9696. Are you and your partner

wildly heat incompatible? Yeah, and maybe it causes some big arguments or you have to live life a little differently. Give us a call. Well, it could be the secret to a long relationship

that you've stumbled across, Warren, being heat compatible with your partner. Yeah, some people are just wildly incompatible and probably long-term quite hard, especially so much time you spend sleeping. Yeah.

And that seems to be where a lot of people are, wildly heat incompatible. My partner wears shorts all year round. I wear six layers. I only swim outside unless the temperature is over 30 degrees. So you don't swim in New Zealand. And he sweats profusely in the high teens. I wear, I will have three duvets in bed. He will sleep with no covers.

Oh, you've got to have one. Even in summer, I've got to have like a little sheet. Yeah. I need a spa to be 40 degrees. For him, 35 is too hot. He touches it with his feet and he's like, can't get in there. Yeah, my partner

hooked up with him we're going out for ages moved in together got to winter electric blanket got put on the bed no

I can't that's a slow it's a slow cooker yeah so I hated it so much that I folded the electric blanket over and so the electric blanket

is only on their side of the bed and probably frayed some cords yeah I was going to say I don't know if they're meant to fold are they I don't know you roll I think you roll not fold And so the electric blanket is only on their side of the bed. I'm probably frayed some cords. Yeah, I was going to say. Rude. I don't know if they're meant to fold, are they? I don't know. Roll.

I think you roll, not fold. You might have stumbled on the secret to a long-term relationship, a happy long-term relationship, being heat compatible with your partner. Yeah. Running, like, temperatures, however you're dealing with them, of a similar ilk, you know? Yeah. You're both like a thick duvet in winter

or you both like the temperature in the same setting in the car. Oh, that's because I like a cool car. Do you like it? Because some people like a warm car and I think that makes you a bit dopey. I always pick you up, Vaughan, and it's like cranking the heat and I can tell because he takes his beanie off and he's putting the window

down on me. I mean, his car was on 27 degrees one morning when she picked me up. I was like, 27? I don't think I've never had my car back. It was just so hot. Yeah, we are not heat compatible with you. I felt like a fern was sprouting in the back seat and there was some snakes back there or something.

Phil, you and your partner are non-temperature compatible? Mate, we are that totally incompatible. It's not funny. In the middle of winter, I'll be in shorts, jandals, and singlet for work. She'll go to bed with winter sheets, a duvet, a mink blanket folded up on her side only, socks, thermals, track pants, and sometimes two hoodies and a beanie. And I'm just in my boxers. Phil, this is a great advertisement for New Zealand homes

and their insulation, isn't it? Phil's fine. He's sleeping on the side of the room with all the pink bats. Nah, definitely not. But the worst thing is, is like when she's cold, she tries to roll over to where I am. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. That's not the deal.

Get out. Because she's got eight layers on. Cold feet. Oh, yeah. And she's like wrapped in pink pants. Brilliant. Hey, Phil, thanks for your call. Sheila, are you and your partner heat incompatible?

Yes, we are. Okay. So how bad does it get? Right. Well, he'll walk around the house in the middle of winter wearing his disgusting basketball shorts, which are eternally known as fat pants, and a T-shirt. And he goes around screaming, Operation Electric, turn the heating off!

And if he's really cold, he'll put socks on with his Crocs. Yeah. Oh, God, okay. He's a classy dude. But he is also ginger, so he doesn't like the heat either. So a beach holiday is pretty much out.

So he runs hot, but he doesn't like the sun. Well, I see. He says he gets burned by the moon. Right. Brilliant, Sheila. Thanks for your call. Some text messages.

My partner slept with the effing fan on all winter. I was so close to buying a sleeping bag to sleep in it under the covers. A fan? In winter? Yeah, my brother, well, granted, he lives in a hot part of Australia, but he sleeps with a fan on year round, and he reckons it's a white noise thing.

I was like, buy a white noise machine then. Yeah. Like, don't sleep with a fan on. If I sleep with a fan on, I wake up so dry. Yeah. It's like Wesley's been blowing up my nose holes. It just drove me right out. I can be dressed head to toe in woolens and layers and thermals

and my partner walks around in shorts with no socks on. Drives me absolutely nuts. Somebody else said, yeah, we've got a big bed. I guess this is that European style you're talking about, Fletch, but completely different sheet sets. So what if they got two singles and pushed them together? Because if you got a different sheet set,

you'd have to have single sheets. Yeah. Two king singles pushed together. Or doubles, yeah. It's a hot play. But then what if you want a spoon? You've always got that gap that hotels, you know when hotels are like,

oh, you've booked a king room and it's like two doubles zipped together, but you can feel the crack. Sometimes they'll put a thick mattress on it. Yeah, but you can still tell. But then your bed's not going to have wheels on it, so you're not going to skid apart. You're not running a hotel bed.

My partner and I are wildly heat compatible. He lives in shorts all year round, hates tropical islands because he just can't cool down. Yep. And throws his half of the duvet on top of me, folds it over. We have been married for 15 years, but shit, he pisses me off.

Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Fleshforn and Megan's Radio Tinder. Well, close to home, this edition of Radio Tinder, and we sprung it on him yesterday when you were away, Megan. How did we spring this on you?

What were we talking about again? The other week I mentioned I need help with a Tinder bio. That's right, we were talking about your Tinder bio and then we thought, well, let's just give you the ultimate help. Radio Tinder. Meet Jared. Born in the Chinese year of the dog, he's just that. Loyal, loves a pet and treats, but will also try to sniff your crotch.

He's been single for a while, but that's got nothing to do with how much Dungeons & Dragons he plays, which is a lot. So, roll a 20 and make a skill check. It's time to meet the Dungeon Master, Jared. Oh, that was mean. That didn't have good qualities. What do you mean? Those were good qualities.

That's on you, actually, for being mean. What weren't good qualities? Dungeons and Dragons? No, but it didn't go to his great personality. He's very caring. I only had a few lines. Yeah. Put it all in there. only had a few lines. Yeah. Put it all in there.

You've got to get it in. All right, so if you would like to... I beg your pardon, Sue. If you would like to match and play, put yourself forward for Radio Tinder with our very own producer, Jared. Jared, who are you looking for? Because we've had, I believe, executive intern Anya.

We've had a lot of entries. This is the most entries we've ever had for anyone on Radio Tinder. Wow. Absolutely. Until we do Fletch next week. Okay, that's nice. People wouldn't ring in for that. They'd be like, no.

That guy sounds like a prick. Oh, I did my personality test. So, yeah, I am. It turns out I am a prick. So, Jared, who are you? What's your, like, ideal type? Just really. Yeah, I am. Turns out I am a prick. So Jared, who are you? What's your ideal type? Just really nice people, I guess.

I'm really stressed. You said people, so... Straight man, so I like the ladies. Okay. You are a little nervous. I'm freaking out.

I'm freaking out. I love how you got yourself a glass of water. I'm going to wet the whistle. Okay, so you just want a lady of water. I'm going to wet the whistle. Okay, so you just want a lady that's nice, friendly, has a sense of humour. Okay. If you're pretty, that helps, I guess.

Yeah, okay. Or if you're attracted to them. Yeah, yeah. If there's a spark. Okay. Well, if you would like to play Radio Tinder with producer Jared. So you are originally from South Africa. Yep.

Yep. What I know of South African men is they quite like to have a woman who's as powerful as their mother. Yep. They're not afraid of strong women. No. Okay. See? Andrew got one. Oh, yeah. Mr. Toyboy loves to of strong women. No. Okay, see? Andrew got one. Oh yeah, Mr Toibo loves to be told what to do.

Not easily emasculated. Yeah. Strong, independent woman. Shut up. Okay, so. Yeah, right. All right, well, if that sounds like you and you'd like to play Radio Tinder, I'll 800-DANCE-AT-M right now. We're going to come back next and see if we can get some matches going.

It's our very own producer, Jared, today. You can see his bio on our Instagram, FEMZM. If you're only going to look now, though, you're too late. We've got a line of mullions. He's snaffled up. He'll be sold out by the time you get up there. Get in quick. Well, famously, during the first lockdown, you did get 456.

56 matches. Yep. So we got 456 people on the line? We don't have that much time. We do not. Maddie, good morning. Hello, how are you? Good, good.

So I'm Maddie. I'm 24. I'm from Auckland and I'm a transportation consultant. Like buses and stuff. Yeah, I'm a big fan of public transport. Oh, okay. Can I jump in and ask producer Jared a question? Do you have a hop card or a bus?

I do. I have one of the ones that clip onto your keys, one of the bougie ones. Oh, yes. Excellent. Great choice. She loves that. Jesus!

We're off to a flying start here, Maddie. I was that easy. Tell her where you sit on the bus. He sounds very practical, you know, like got your keys, got your hop card. Yep, yep, yep. Good night. So, Maddie, do you have any questions for me? Yeah. So, Maddie, do you have any questions for me?

Yeah. So, Jared, sort of where do you see yourself in my five years? Are you gunning for Fletchmore to make his job? God, he better not be. Oh, that's awkward. I'm actually still trying to figure that out because for the past five years I've been trying to get here. So now that I'm here, I'm like, oh.

Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Go ahead. He's so sweet. Yeah, so I'm just figuring that one out. Nice. I guess, do you know your love language? It's topical throughout the show this week. Yeah, I've been thinking about it.

I think I'm like words of affirmation, probably. Oh, yep, yep. I'm a quality time kind of guy, so that could work out. Oh, nice. Nice. Nice. Oh, my God. And he's got quality time kind of guy. So that could work out. Oh, nice. Oh my god, Annie's got a hop cut as well. It's a man! It's a man! Yes! We can have quality time

on the bus. Oh my god. Oh my god. That should be your first date is you should just do like four sectors somewhere and then come back. Yeah. Sounds good. Love it. Thanks, Maddie.

Kerry, good morning. Good morning. I'm Kerry. I'm 32. I'm in Auckland and I'm a data specialist. A data specialist. What kind of data do you specialise in? He asked that question and made a grimace.

I look after web data. Oh, cool, cool. So you can see what he's been looking up on Safari and stuff. I don't know if it's good to say yes to that question. Have you ever run an audit on a past boyfriend to see what they were looking at online? No. Okay, all right.

Good, I guess. I'd just be scared not to match her now. Kezza, what are your five main skills? My five main skills? I'm a great Instagram dog photographer. Oh, that's convenient. Because you love dogs. He loves dogs.

He's got a dog. Ruby's dog. Ruby. Yep, she's very cute. Very photogenic. The dog? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course the dog.

Not me. Yeah, yeah. Friends and English bulldogs. Oh, I like those. Those are cute. Do you think an English Bulldog would get along with your dog? Potentially.

Ruby gets along with everyone. He's already swiped, Kerry. Thanks, Kerry. Thanks? God, I can't wait until she audits your online viewing. Yeah, it's going to be interesting.

Nayo, good morning. Good morning. How are we? Good. Now tell us about yourself. Hi, I'm a 27-year-old primary school teacher from Auckland. Okay. Don't know.

I'm looking to try this radio to missing out. Okay. Okay. Do you prefer cats or dogs? and why do you prefer dogs? I'm allergic to cats, so it's kind of... Easy, same. How convenient. Okay.

And quite an important one. How often would you say you burn microwave popcorn? Oh, 20% of the time, maybe. Okay, all right. That's much better than me. That's low. That's low, yeah. I'm going to say...

Yes, we're going to say yes. Awesome. That was easy. That was great. Bronwyn, good morning, Bronwyn. Hello, hello. All right, tell us about yourself. I'm Bronwyn.

I'm 26. I'm Bronwyn. I'm 26. I'm a nearly childhood teacher from Auckland. Okay, so you'd be used to cleaning up food on people's T-shirts? Yeah, and poo too, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Perfect. Just in case he shits himself.

Which has been known to happen in the past. Okay. He's honest. What time do you go to bed? Probably, like, around, like, 10-ish. Ooh, that's a bit late. It is quite late for us. We go to bed early.

And a follow-up. How often would you say you do stuff on a Friday night? Not very often, to be honest. That's what I want to hear. You want someone that's just keen to stay at home. Yeah, especially on a Friday after dealing with you three for a week. It's pretty tuck it out. Very rude.

Tired from dealing with these three as well. I'm used to dealing with difficult people, little people, pooey people, foodie people. Okay, well, I'm three of those four, I guess. Okay. Sounds good. If you found an hour of free time, how would you spend it? I'd either spend it with my dog, my puppy, or I'd sleep.

Great answers. Oh, that's a like straight away. Wow. Fantastic. Thanks, Bronwyn. Last possible match. Annie, good morning. Good morning.

All right, tell us about yourself, Annie. Okay, my name's Annie. I'm 27. I work in marketing, and I'm from Hamilton. Okay. Would you reckon Hamilton's better than Whanganui? Definitely. I think that's a question.

Two finalists for the City of the Year this year. Okay. I have a... Now, this would be a long distance, wouldn't it? Yeah, it would. Jared, if this worked out? So, because it's a long distance, I've got a long question. Okay.

All right. Okay. You're a high-level cleric. Your party members are all unconscious on the brink of death, and you're facing off against the big bad villain. Do you charge in and take out the bad guy on your own? Do you heal your party members? Do you run away?

Or do you switch sides and join the baddie? Because life is worth living, baby. Is this this nerd thing you do? Oh, yeah. What is this? Okay. Yeah. I don't even know. I'm going to say heal the party members. Excellent do? Oh, yeah. What is this? Okay. Yeah. I don't even know.

I'm going to say heal the party members. Excellent choice. No, roll. Roll. See what you get. Yeah. I'd roll to the bad side. Is that a Dungeons and Dragons thing?

Yep. That was a nerdy. I think at this stage we should let Annie decide if she'd like to swipe. Which way would you like to swipe, Annie? I mean, I'll keep giving him a shot. Okay. But Dungeons and Dragons, interesting. Very interesting.

You'll get into it. I have one more question. Okay. Which one do I pick? Which side of the bed do you sleep on? Oh! So I kind of like... I suppose right now I'd be left,

but I feel like I always just sleep the side closest to the door. All right, so you'd be fine switching from the left to the right side? As long as it's by the door, I can be okay with that. You're so presumptuous. No, it's just like long-term. Yeah, you're right. I don't think you're speaking long-term, though.

You don't want to waste all the money on dinners and dates and then you find out they want your side of the bed. Get out. It's my side. Okay, I've got one more question. Okay. What would your theme song be? Oh, wet.

Oh! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Just when you were like, oh, Hamilton's cruising, Hamilton's cruising, Annie's like, I'll show you. Oh, how we love a drive. Annie nailed it. Holy moly. I don't think we're going to have any time for Dungeons & Dragons. Here we go.

What a success of Radio Tinder. Every match. A like there from producer Jared. I think we're going to follow some of these up, including a bus date. I think we're going to do a date on the bus. Next on the show, it's our 50K fact of the day. You're not going into any song.

No. Flesh, fawn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day. Day, Day, Day, Day And today's Fact of the Day It's all thanks to Save My Bank And helping you borrow money online

And growing your credit score at the same time. We'll give you the fact of the day now, and then you've got to be listening at midday. And 4 o'clock, if you can get through and correctly answer a question about the fact of the day, you win $500 cash. Today's fact of the day is about Ramesses II. That's a very famous mummy, an Egyptian pharaoh. Okay. And quite an important pharaoh. And one of the mummies on this, huh? So the pharaoh. Okay. And quite an important pharaoh.

And one of the mummies... Huh? So the other day, just when you're talking about Egyptian mummies, I was at the dentist getting my root canal, and they have a TV on the ceiling. And there was like a mummified like... Like on the screen. So they're in my mouth putting like all the tubes

and the drills and it's like, and there's like this mummified corpse on the screen. What were you watching? It was like some regional TV channel choice or something and they did like Egyptian mummy special

or something. It was quite confronting. It was quite horrible. What if you got a fright and you're like, but then the last time I went There was one of those Renovation shows

Where they buy old antiques And do them up Oh Yeah Where they're not buying the houses They're buying They go on a road trip And buy junk

And they like Restore the junk Oh yeah that's a good It's much more soothing When there's a dentist Poking around in your mouth That's really good stuff Well this mummy

Had been on display In Cairo For quite a few years and a guy called Maurice Rochal, who was a doctor who also specialised in mummies, found the mummy of Ramesses

II in quite poor order and he said, I can get this fixed but I'm going to need to take it back to France. Now the law at the time said that every person, living or dead, like if you died on a plane or you died overseas to get back into France, you needed a passport.

Okay. But, of course, Ramesses had been dead for some two and a half, nearly three thousand years by this stage. He didn't have a passport. Don't be passport. Who's known him for three years that can vouch for

him not being part of a terrorist organisation? And what can you do for a public? If he'd gone to the library, there's a Justice of the Peace that does a little passport signing. That's what I've done. Would they let you wear the bandages? Do you weekend at Bernie's a man? This is my friend Ramesses. He needs a passport. He's the quiet type.

Would they let you wear the bandages for the photo or would they be like, you just need to take those off for the picture? He wasn't wearing bandages. How many's wear bandages? No, he wasn't like... This is in Hotel Transylvania. He'd been like unwrapped and he was on

display. Oh, okay. So they were just like, well, without it, he can't come in. Yeah. So in 1974, Ramesses was issued a passport. Did they have a photo? I've got a picture of the passport, yes. No, what's the photo? I'll read out what it says about him first.

He's got a passport number. Country of origin, Egypt. Yep. Full name, Ramesses II. Date of birth, blank, blank, 1300 BC. Yeah. Place of birth, blank, male. Nationality, Egyptian. And here's his passport photo.

I will put this online. Can we please put that on our Instagram story? Because holy shit. Like no smiling actually. Do you think he was happy with that? Because no one's ever happy with their passport. Can I do that again? So if you think you've got a bad passport, you don't.

You don't. Because you don't have, you haven't been dead for like 2,000 years when it was taken. So today's fact of the day is that in 1974, a 3,090 year old Egyptian was issued a passport. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletchbourne and Megan, the podcast. Dive into Fletchbourne and Megan's Fishy Tank. Well, there's Shark Tank, there's Dragon's Den, and this is our own Fishy Tank. And we're hoping to help out a small business,

a little starter, a side hustle. A lot of side hustles happening at the moment in these COVID times. Chance to make some extra cash, get a business off the ground. So you can register, set him online, and we're going to pick three on Friday, three of our favourite ideas,

and we'll vote for a winner over the weekend. And next week, give you some cash if you win, and help you out with an extensive media package, including a Fletch and Morton jingle. We've only ever done one of these before. Megan, your cafe saw the graph went through the roof, didn't it? I've done a few jingles. Have you?

Yeah, don't you remember? Oh, has he been doing it on the side without you babes? Don't you remember years ago we did that baby food jingle? And I remember this is a, it doesn't come out of the garage very often. This collector's. This car. Yeah. We famously did that Novus one, didn't we?

We did the show us your crack jingle. You can't claim that. How was this going to start making it? Was it not a run into the exact person that did write it? Let's make it up. Okay, so we're going to meet our first pitch. First to enter the fishy tank is... Did I say the P enough there?

Because it's our first pitch. Emily, good morning. Hi. All right, so tell us about your side hustle. Yes, so our side hustle is called Tribe Up. Basically, making friends as an adult is hard. So we've created fun, in-person, eight-week experiences to meet new people and build new friendships to make it easy.

And that's Tribe Up with Two Peas in case you're trying to find us. Okay, so tribeupwithtwopeas.com. Yeah, we've talked on the show about this in the past. It is hard to make adult friends, eh? Especially when you're like an introvert and small talk's hard. Yeah, exactly. What kind of like, you said eight-week things. What do you do over those activities in eight weeks?

Well, we've got the first experience that we made was actually at the start of the year, before all of this happened. And it was an expat game because as an expat myself, like I realised how actually difficult it is coming to a new country, starting from scratch and not knowing anyone. Yeah, sure.

And then I joined all these expat Facebook groups and everyone was kind of saying the same thing and they've been here for decades and they're still homesick and haven't made connections so yeah we made this expat game which is like a half day outdoor adventure game around arkham city where in teams they're figuring out puzzles and finding clues hidden in local businesses and there's it's a race to get to the points for the deadline and then there's a seven week challenge that follows but then lockdown happened and we'd only run two of these games so um but it actually gave us time to develop this new experience which we're getting ready to launch in alert level one yeah and that one's the foodies dinner party experience. Okay, that sounds more like me. Yeah.

That's because it's food. Food. Yeah, food. It's for six foodie fans, and they're all introduced to each other at a restaurant, and then they take it in turns, hosting dinner parties weekly over six weeks, and then they score each other for a prize, and that gets revealed in the last week at another restaurant.

But then we also throw in some fun activities and challenges to keep things flowing too. Okay, well, this sounds great. Okay, Emily. Real well thought out. Plans there. TribeUpWithTwoPs.com in the running, Emily. Casting a net in the fishy tank is...

Josh, good morning. G'day, guys. All right, Josh, what's your pitch? Give us your business idea, your side hustle. All right. So my side hustle is EcoBase, which I run with three friends from Timberwood High School, while we all do Level 3.

Are you still in high school? Yeah, yeah. Josh, how did you get that deep voice? Because even now, I don't like... How did you get that deep voice? Oh, it must be my parents. I don't like... How'd you get that deep voice? Oh, it must be my parents. I don't know. 40s.

40s jealous of your deep voice. Hey, he sounds like he's in his mid-40s. All right. Sorry, sorry. Go on. Continue. So, yeah, so we're still doing Level 3 NCA because we're still a high school

and we're all working part-time jobs. Okay. And we're under the Young Enterprise Scheme and our flagship product is Eco Balm. So Eco Balm is gender neutral locally sourced lip balm and 100% biogradable tubes. And this of course means if one of you guys used

a lip balm, you could simply throw it in your compost bin or in your garden once you were done and bob's your uncle. Now I live in the city in an apartment, don't have a compost bin or a garden. I could use your compost borne bin. I could take it on. Your compost bin. Work care also has organic bins. I could just throw it in a like a roundabout with a garden couldn't I? Okay. Cool okay. And gender neutral as well. Yeah so we kind of thought we'd change the stigma

around cosmetics a bit because I know lots of guys who use lip balm and lots of boys who should be using lip balm. So we thought, why not sort of make a product for all? And you're from Timaru, you said?

Yep, Timaru boys. So woke for Timaru. That is so woke. So woke for Timaru. I like it, Josh. You guys are an absolute credit to your school. Have you sold many so far? Yeah, so we started during COVID, and we didn't sell too many,

but we did make some online sales. And then now that we're back in level two and level one, we approached some major businesses, and we're stoked to have sold 2,000 now, and we're trying to sell a lot more. Oh, my man. God, all I did at high school was nothing. Chill out, wait for it to end.

Try and just wait to eat my lunch and then wait for home time. Josh, had some... Sometimes I ate my lunch at morning tea and then I ate my lunch. Facebook and Instagram accounts, ecobase.nz. If that sounds like a bit of you,

Josh, in the running for our final three. Making a splash in the fishy tank is... Melissa. Hello. Hey, guys. All right, hit us with your pitch, Melissa. So I started Golden Years Training Coach

so that everyone else could avoid getting those calls from their friends and family going, how do I do this with my computer or how do I do that with my phone?

Oh, my. So you look after people's boomers with technology. Yeah, yeah. Oh, Melissa. Oh, you must have the patience of a saint. I was going to say, you need to meet my dad with technology. You'll give up. I haven't given up on anyone yet

and my oldest client is 96 and he'll be 97 in December. Wow. That's amazing. What are you teaching him how to use? His iPad. Oh, bless. Yeah, he loves getting on YouTube and listening to all his

classical music on there. YouTube? Cal Peter Fletcher! Just because that's what you want to be doing at 96 Wow, brilliant Classical music, that's nice That's so sweet Melissa That is

Man I've been impressed with today Yeah Goodness me So even just this whole week The business ideas Melissa Thanks in the running Are there We're going to do

We have a couple more pitches tomorrow And then we're going to choose Our top three Which is already Impossible If you would like to register Go to ZM online Fletch, Vaughan and Megan We have a couple more pitches tomorrow and then we're going to choose our top three, which is already impossible. If you would like to register, go to ZM Online. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. So yesterday, after some confusion from Ticketick Australia,

it has been announced Harry Styles has postponed his Australia and New Zealand gigs. Yeah. Postponed. So they do hope to maybe do it in 2021, but the call is they're planning to monitor it. We can add Bashore, but he's not coming this year. No.

And one person who is obviously quite devastated about it. You were devastated? I'm devastated. You've been having dreams about him? Yeah. When was your, what night was your last dream about Harry Styles? Because the last one he turned you down, didn't he? Yeah, I haven't had one since I told you about it,

but that would have been my third one. Okay. Where he keeps turning me down. Wow. I mean, I haven't had one since I told you about it, but that would have been my third one. Okay. Where he keeps turning me down. Wow. I mean, take the hint. Slap on the face. Someone else who's really disappointed is another super fan, Kelly Davison.

Good morning. Good morning. How are you? Good. Now, how many times have you seen One Direction and Harry Styles? I've been to 14 One Direction shows and four of Harry's solo shows.

Wow. So you've got 18 under your belt. If this tour had happened, how many would you have seen? I was meant to go to 14 this year because I was also supposed to go to New York, Toronto and Connecticut. And then I'm going,

I want to get to 70 of his Australian shows, which is all of them, and New Zealand. Wow. So I've won from 14 shows this year to no shows. So it would have been 18 solo Harry shows in total? Yeah. Now, you go front row, don't you?

Yeah. I try to most of the time. How early do you line up? Because how early do they let you into a show um they let us in it depends on like the production on the day but usually like four or five o'clock they let you in for the general admin right and you're there and you're front row and you don't move yeah not at all i wouldn't move for anything what about to go ways like mid show i to be honest i'd never been in a mosh pit before, Harry, before,

and that was my main concern. I was so stressed I was going to have to go to the toilet. So I was like, there's no way I'm, like, lining up all day to lose front row. So I actually wore an adult diaper to the concert. You did not. And is it true, Kelly, I've heard that you tested the different versions

of adult diapers before the day of the concert? Yeah, I didn't actually end up needing to use it on the night of the concert, but I was so stressed about it because at the last minute my friend was like, I don't think it's designed to take like a full wee in there. So I sort of panicked the week before and I tested quite a few and I found one that was like I would have given it five stars on Facebook,

but I didn't want my friends to see. Because I was just worried if it came down to it to lose front row in the middle of the concert, I was like, I don't think I would leave. How many times did you test? So you put on different brands of adult nappies and purposely weed into them to see which held best? Yeah, because I didn't want to have any incidents at the concert.

I was a bit worried. That is, you are so good. Did it leave you feeling dry? Yeah, because I didn't want to have any incidents at the concert. I was a bit worried. Yeah, that is. You are so good. Did they leave you feeling dry or? I'm just curious. Yeah, I was going to give it like a good five-star review. Like, it was fine. I thought before they let us into the mosh pit in the line-up,

it was like a packet of six or eight or something. So I thought I'd be nice and hand them out if anyone else got one. And everyone else was just in shock. They were like, you're disgusting. Security's like, you do know there's a toilet in there? Yeah, but then you leave. You don't get that front row. I know.

That's what I was trying to explain. I had no shame. I didn't care. I was not losing that spot for anything. Right, okay. Even though you've seen it so many times, it is dedication. I've got a moment here from a concert that you went to. Were you holding up a sign to get Harry Styles' attention?

Yeah. So I was getting embarrassed because I felt like I've never had a sign at a concert before. So I only held it up for like a split second, and I didn't think he would see it. And I thought maybe if anything, he might get like a smile or something. And he, yeah, started talking to me during the concert. You have a sign.

It's your 30th birthday you don't look 30 you look absolutely fabulous all right we're gonna sing happy birthday to kelly so is he singing you happy birthday while you're wearing the adult nappy? Yeah, I don't think he knew or maybe he wouldn't have sung to me back then. Kelly, was there wheeze in the nappy before he sung happy birthday? No, that was the fresh one. That was the fresh one.

Wow. Wow. Oh, wow. It's dedication. Wow. Oh, wow. It's dedication. Wow. It really is dedication. Everyone's, like, I think, disgusted and in shock when I tell the story, but I have no shame.

What is the end game? Like, marriage? Do you want to marry him? No, I would just really love to meet him and just, like, thank him for how much happiness he's brought to my life. What do you think's thank him? So I just hope one day I actually get to meet him.

I'm not wearing the nappy when I do. Yeah, right. You want to ditch the full nap. And will you get, because the news articles are saying you spent $20,000. Will you get a bit of that back, like at least in the ticket refunds? I'm going to hold on to all the Australian and New Zealand ones. I'm hoping that they're

not going to cancel them. I had to cancel my American ones because it sort of postponed last minute and I thought it was going to hold on to all the Australian and New Zealand ones. I'm hoping that they're not going to cancel them. I had to cancel my American ones because it sort of postponed last minute and I thought it was going to go ahead and we weren't going to be able to get out of Australia. I sort of joked at the start of the year like, oh, there's no way I'll miss these concerts for anything. I don't care. And then I sort of, I think I jinxed this all. Oh, Kelly, great to talk to you.

And hopefully, um, yeah. You'll get to see him at some stage. Yeah, we get some travel restrictions lifted, maybe a vaccine and Harry can start touring again and you can, yeah, get to see him. I know, I promise. I volunteer. They can test it on me if it means we can see him.

Oh, my God. They're amazing. I'll go with you, but I'm not wearing one of those. Are you sure? I actually think there was a few people that regretted not taking them in the concert 100% I bet they were looking at you and you're like Kelly just before you go

Eva's called up Eva what happened to you at a One Direction concert I literally so during the Christchurch concert when they came here maybe in 2012 I was 12 years old and it was like just towards the end of the concert and I really needed a pee So I didn't want to miss anything and I literally wet my pants

Oh my god, you should have had a nap There was a puddle on the floor I got these new vans that my mom bought me for the concert and they were safe, yellow after that I left the concert and I got in the car, and my brother was like, why does it smell like pee? And I just started crying, and my sister was cracking up. But, yeah, I literally wet myself at the concert. But you did not miss a thing.

No, I did. I missed the last song because my sister was like, no, we need to go. There's a puddle on the floor, Ava. Zedium's Fletch, Vaughan, and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, We need to go. There's a puddle on the floor, Eva.