ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 17th September 2021

Episode Date: September 16, 2021

Top 6: Aussie Submarine  Pak'n'Save Chicken  The Middy is on thin ice  Friday Face Yoga!  Lorde!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Day!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. An upcoming world tour. A new album. And an unapologetic crotch shot. Yeah, girl. L-O-R-D-E. Hey, I'm Lorde. On today's podcast.

Lorde. Play. ZM's Fleetch Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fleetch Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, barista made coffee available from drive-thru and McDelivery at level 3 and also dine-in at level 2. Peach. Yes.

Peach is back. The princess that keeps dog going like Mario gets into one castle. No. And it's like, no, you missed her. Go to the next castle. Princess Peach. We literally spoke about Fruit Burst's peach flavour recently. No No you missed her Go to the next castle Frances Peach We literally spoke about Fruit Burst peach flavour

Recently Yeah very recently Yeah the international This is a lolly It was a chewy lolly You'd get like a lime A strawberry An orange

A banana Banana And way back in the day There was peach Peach flavour And then it just Left didn't it They got rid of it.

I don't know why. So rude. It was the best flavor. But it's coming back not in the same form, but it's coming back as a peach lump. So like a pineapple lump but with peach in the middle instead of – Is that like chocolate? I don't know if peach goes with chocolate.

So marshmallow-flavored – sorry, peach-flavored marshmallow. It's not marshmallow. It's not marshmallow. It's not marshmallow. It's a chewy candy. It's a chewy candy. What, a pineapple lump? Yeah. It's closer to a marshmallow than a fruit burr.

Bitch, please. I shan't have this. Bitch, calm down. This is some misinformation. Yeah. I'm sick of it. If anything, it's closer to a nougat than it is a marshmallow. It's not closer to a nougat.

I'm siding with Fletch on this one. It's not closer to a nougat. It is.iding with Fletch on this one. It's not closer to a nougat. It is. It's a hard marshmallow. Nah. How would you describe it? Marshmallows can't be hard. That's the very definition of a marshmallow. It's soft. It's like an explorer lolly. You're in so much trouble when people hear this.

What's an explorer lolly made of? What's an explorer lolly made of? Explorer lollies are soft. When was the last time you had a pineapple lump? Sweater. They're chewy as fuck. No, they're not chewy. It's the last time I went when my teeth went right through it. Go to the producers.

They are chewy AF. Are you kidding me? They go right through it. I didn't have it refrigerated. I'm a warm guy. I don't freeze them ever. I know they crack when you freeze them. You're just sick of this bullshit.

You know when you rub your head when you're real tired it just feels so good. Oh yeah, that does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a woman who wears a lot of makeup. I can't do that. Yeah, well you robbed yourself of one of life's simple pleasures. It's not until the end of the day

then you take it off. You should just let yourself go. Pineapple lumps or pineapple chunks. Let's get an answer on here. A chewy pineapple flavoured middle. Yeah, and I'm not saying it wasn't chewy but I'm saying... You literally did say it was chewy.

An early version of the chocolate fish with the pineapple... Oh, that was a pineapple flavoured marshmallow. Yeah, see, a chocolate fish is a marshmallow. That's where they got the idea from. Yeah. This is a really light-hearted look at how misinformation spreads. See what you're doing? You see what you're doing?

It's marshmallow-y. It's not. Here's the recipe. How did he make it? One. I'm going to swear at you in a minute. I'm going to just press our end here because I want to go home. Glucose.

Is that all right? Pineapple. Gelatin. Can I do that? Yeah. Where does it say when these are coming out? I feel like I just need to wrap this up by saying that. I'll admit that it's not a marshmallow, but I've always found it to be, if you were to

compare it to something. Today, it's in supermarkets today, so let's go buy something. If you were to compare the inside to something, I would have always run with a marshmallow comparison. Okay, good. A hard marshmallow, not a marshmallow. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning.

Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Happy Friday morning. Welcome to the show, Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan. Happy Friday morning. Yeah. So what, we've got one more weekend until Daylight Savings. So this weekend and then next weekend's Daylight Savings. Yay! It's lighter. Yeah. No, this is the... It's good because it's lighter and it indicates summer's on its way.

But for people who get up early, you've got to get up an hour earlier. Yeah, it's harder. Yeah. Only for a little bit. Yeah. And then you get used to it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So people caught skiing leaving Auckland. Great stuff. There's a reef.

I couldn't believe that. I just don't know, man. I just don't know, man. I just don't know what to do with the people. Skiing in a Macca's run. Those were your people that used essential service letters to get through the checkpoints. Hey, hey, hey. Yeah, cool.

Yeah, okay. When do we find out about alert levels on Monday? Truck driver tested positive He'd delivered supermarket stuff to Hamilton, Cambridge Yeah, no locations of interest there They said there might not be any though Right Because he might have just stayed in his truck

Right Had very limited contact And it had unloaded Well that's fingers Absolutely fingers crossed We'll update you throughout the morning. Big day, Lord's on the show. 8 o'clock. Our Lord and Saviour.

Lord with an E. Lord E. Lord A. Who just went to the Met gala ball thingy. Did she go to the MTV VMAs the night before? That was two nights in a row. That's too much. I hope everybody got an afternoon sleep in. I don't know if she did. A little nap. Yeah.

She probably did. She was there. Wasn't she going to perform and then she didn't? I don't know. Wasn't, yeah. I'm not asking. I don't want to drag it up. I'd be like, were you there?

And she's like, no, I wasn't invited. No, I didn't go. Yeah, why were you at that party at the weekend? I think you invited. Awkward. Well, she's on the at the weekend? I think you're invited. Awkward. Well, she's on the show just after 8 o'clock this morning. Whose Friday flashback is it today? Oh, God.

Margins. Okay. You don't need that pressure. Okay. Okay. I might get on to that. The top six is coming up. Yeah, the top six uses for an Australian nuclear submarine.

Getting a few of these built. Yeah. America's given them their plans and they never do that. No, they don't. Well, they're trying to, I guess, keep China in check. Hard enough putting together some furniture following somebody else's plans. Imagine putting together a nuclear submarine. You finish, you're like, oh, we've got five screws left over.

And four missiles. Yeah. Where do these go? What should we do with these then? But yeah, they're like, oh, we've got five screws left over. And four missiles. Yeah. Where do these go? What should we do with these then? But yeah, they're sharing their secrets, but if this whole thing's just exercising, I don't know, big D measuring competition, as it

feels like it is sometimes, what are they going to do with them? I've got the top six uses for a nuclear submarine. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. I don't know what's wrong with people, but it seems that two-thirds of Americans think that they would be more motivated to pursue a healthy lifestyle

if they had material reward for their effort. So they want someone to reward them for making themselves healthy. In terms of, so concert tickets was a big one. Who's paying for these? I don't know, the government? I don't know. No, healthy is supposed to be the default setting.

Like you're the reward. You get the reward yourself because you're healthier and you live longer. And not being debilitated by illness and being in hospital. And you don't jiggle when you go over the speed bumps. Oh my God. It's confronting. It is. So medals and trophies was 16%.

Tickets to sporting events, 13%. But a lot of people said that significant discounts to their favourite stores was bigger incentive than a trophy. A trophy would be nice but it just sits on the shelf, doesn't it? Who are these people? Pitching this too.

Like someone pay me to make myself healthier. Thank you. Would that work for you guys? If someone was like, hey, look, here's a Bali holiday. Imagine you could holiday. If you got to like a goal or a certain, you know, healthy feeling.

No, because then I'd feel like I'd have to and no one tells me what to do. Which is weirdly completely the opposite, right? But like setting yourself a goal and it says that people do do this. So you reward yourself for reaching like a fitness goal or some

people even do like a financial goal. Like if you saved a lot of money, they reward themselves saved a lot of money. Okay. They reward themselves. A lot of people reward themselves with food and beverage. So that kind of undoes the. Defeats it, yeah. Yeah.

But I mean, fitness goals, you can still be fit and have ice cream, right? Yeah. So, yeah, I understand rewarding yourself and setting yourself. Okay, well, if I reach this target, I'm going to buy this or go on holiday or something. But I just don't understand who they think is going to pay them. But maybe it is like maybe the government could do it because like imagine if they paid someone what a prize with a couple of hundred dollars. That's still cheaper than healthcare. No. with a couple of hundred dollars, that's still cheaper than... But......health care, like... No! ...and surgeries and all the complications later

that the government would have to pay for. Yeah. But no. But you don't want someone getting something for free. You shouldn't get rewarded for looking after yourself. Do you know who I blame? The Kiwi Kids Triathlon. The Weet-Bix.

Because everyone gets a medal. Because everyone gets a medal. And then everyone grows up thinking everyone should get something. Just doing nothing. That's so what we're about these days. And over half of people said that, well, if you give me money and discounts and coupons, it's actually good for my mental health too. What?

Americans. You're hinging all your existence on, I don't know. Do you think New Zealanders would say the same? Yes. Yeah, I do too. Play ZM's Flashphone and Megan. The show David Lomas investigates is back solving family

mysteries and already looking for more mysteries to solve or people to find. You can go to 3Now and fill out your details if you've got a family mystery. Yep. And he joins us on the phone now. David Lomas, good morning. Morena.

Morena. So you're back. You're back and you're solving mysteries. But it's not just reuniting possibly lost family members this time. It's kind of like investigating family mysteries as well. Well, we always like a good mystery. You know, a story which takes the viewers on a real journey, you know,

and twists and turns, you know, a bit of ups and downs. It's sort of like making a movie. You've got to have the highs and the lows and just, you know, make it interesting. It's amazing how many, you know, fantastic twists and turns we can get here and just great locations. I mean, aren't we so lucky in this country? Everywhere you go, it's picture perfect. Out of all of the investigations you've done, what's been the story that's really stuck with you the most, that's been the most craziest? The craziest one probably was years ago when I went to India and we were going there

trying to solve quite an old mystery. We struck it very lucky. A local sort of businessman took us under his wing and he sort of used his contacts in that and we found old records of the Jaw Hat Racing Club from 1932 where the chap we were trying to find, we found that he had pinched a bit of money and done

a runner and we eventually tracked him down and he went back to England and he had lived a double life there and changed his name a little bit and become quite famous in his own right by being one of the first people to ride a motorbike from John O'Groats to Land's End. This is just like you're playing a board game in real life. Has there ever been a story where the ending or the journey has been so controversial or sensitive that it's never made it to air? We've had ones which we've pulled out on and you can imagine

scenarios where somebody might be trying to find their father and the reason they exist might not be for most savoury reasons. But you've been doing this and investigative journalism for a long time. Does anything surprise you anymore? Well, not surprise me, but one of the great things, well, I suppose which does surprise me is basically, to a large extent, having said those negative things, is how great people are.

I mean, you know, we've dealt with over the years, you know, some gang members, you know, head of the mongrel mob, head of the black power in different parts, guys who've done long-term prison sentences. And, you know, at the core, they're just people who want to know their mum and dad. And, you know, you're dealing with a guy who's done, you know,

six years in an Australian jail for quite a violent assault who's weeping his eyes out because I tell him I found his dad. Wow. Wow. Well, if you're the head of a gang and you want to find your dad, there's another season coming of David Lomas Investigates, and you can go to 3now.co.nz and search David, and you'll be able to find the form to fill out

so the producers could possibly be getting in touch. David, thanks for joining us. Hey, look, thanks a lot for talking to me. From the unsightly ZM Think Tank, this is the Top 6. Hello there, today's top six. Australia has been getting the designs for nuclear powered submarines from

America. I think America shared them with Australia because of the ongoing tension in the Indo-Pacific. With China. They showed footage last night on the news of this Chinese

naval parade. It's Nazi. A naval parade? So it was just like two rows of these massive warships just honking through the sea. I was like... It wasn't a parade like everyone was like,

yay! And there was like a lolly scrambling that didn't finish with Santa. And they've built all those fake islands and they're all now military bases.

Yeah. So I think America's like, you just calm down. So they're like, I know what we'll do. We'll give the Aussies the plans so they can build nuclear submarines

and they're like, oh, cheers, man. That's going to be wicked. Wicked sick. What do we do if we see a Chinese sub-butt? Fire butt. Yeah, I'm going to shoot him, butt. So what the hell are they?

They're capable of going under and not coming up for months, apparently. Oh, wow. Because in nuclear power, they don't need to come up for refueling, do they? Just for bread and milk. What about't need to come up for refueling, do they? Just for a breed of milk. What about snacks? Imagine being underwater for months. Oh, yeah. So claustrophobic.

So scally. I don't know if those old, there was a slew of early 90s submarine movies. Yeah. And every now and then, the sounds of them, they'd be like, tink, tink, tink. Like the pressure would change and it'd be like, What was that Russian one where they all got stuck under there? Remember that?

Or the Kursk? The Minsk or something? In real life. In real life, like, ten years ago, seven years ago. Oh, and they never got them out, eh? Oh, no. The Kursk? The Kursk.

The Kursk? Yep. That was in... Dude, a couple of years ago. The Kursk? The Kursk. The Kursk? Yep. That was a couple of years ago. The year 2000? Oh, yes, ages ago. 21 years ago. A couple of years ago. What is time?

It was the first major Russian naval exercise in more than 10 years, and all 118 personnel on board were killed. Wow. The boat just went down. I cannot wait. Speaking of movies, I cannot wait to see the new British series, Vigil. Oh, it's on a submarine, isn't it?

Yeah. My favourite British submarine is when Toast of London did the voiceover. Launch the nuclear weapons. That is such a great show. Is that still on Netflix? I don't know. It's so, so good.

Launch the nuclear weapons. Give another take on that. Launch the nuclear weapons. Yeah, he's recording the voiceover for it. It's very good. It's so good. But China's denounced it, and so is France. You know, France are upset because...

A bit rich, isn't it? No, because they wanted to build them, and they've already got a deal, so they're pissed off because of that. So that's more of a manufacturing issue, not the whole problematic issue of everybody just arming themselves to the teeth. Don't you do it.

We're doing it. And then they were asking Jacinda yesterday at the press conference if she was upset she wasn't included. And it's like, you know, I think we're all stoked we're not going to be dragged into a war. A nuclear... Yeah. A nuclear-powered submarine. Australia's close, though. and it's like you know I think we're all stoked we're not going to be dragged into a war a nuclear a nuclear powered Australia's close though can we skiddly-dee

over a bit we've always yeah if we could just use that submarine in fact I'm changing one of them number six

the top six uses for the Australian nuclear submarines when they've got them number six dragging New Zealand a little bit further away from Australia

if we could just go a bit towards Argentina here's why this is them. Number six, dragging New Zealand a little bit further away from Australia. If we could just go a bit towards Argentina, here's why this is a good idea. Oh, yeah. Flight to the Cook Islands are going to take less time. Yep. We're closer to the Galapagos Islands. Yep. Which are on the other side. It's the Falklands I was thinking of. Yeah, yeah. And Argentinians, though,

are pretty good. Yeah. The older side of Argentina is on the other sideinians are on the other side, though, eh? It's Chile on the side. Why are they so good? Oh, lots. Okay. Wine. Lots of frozen raspberries are from Chile.

Can they drag us under it? Lots of frozen raspberries are from Chile. It's a fact. Look at your frozen raspberries. raspberries are from Chile. It's a fact. Look at your frozen raspberries. They probably say from Chile. That would indicate to me that their fresh, their amount of fresh raspberries, abundant. Yeah, exactly. Empanadas in Chile.

I think that's just the South America thing on the whole, right? I'm sorry that I ever doubted you, Chile. I just got excited because the Argentinian people are always doing like asado crosses and cooking like whole sheep. But if I'd known you had frozen raspberries, I would never have doubted you. Number five on the list of the top six uses for the Australian nuclear submarine, getting it out there to help the IRBs for a little bit of Bondi rescue.

Yeah. We've got someone out beyond the breakers coming at the nuclear sub out there to help the IRBs for a little bit of Bondi rescue. Yeah. We've got someone out beyond the breakers. Can we get the nucleus up out there? Boo! Can I just interrupt with a fact regarding your last discussion? Chile is running between 36 to 40 tonnes of raspberries. That's not much. With only 1% of that going to fresh sales.

36 tonnes of raspberries isn't a large amount. I don't know how many tons is a day. It's always a pretty light. That would be a lot, wouldn't it? It's a lot. It's a lot. When they talk about exports, it's always like millions of tons. I don't know how many.

Seems like that's not enough. That's enough tons of raspberries. As soon as you eat, bloody, a ton, three kgs a week of your delicious of raspberries. As soon as you eat bloody... A ton. Three kgs a week of your delicious frozen raspberries. Number four on the list of the top six uses for the Australian nuclear submarine. They could park it up over the submarine, make it one of those pontoons that kids swim out to

and then do bombs off. Yes. That'd be a pretty good use for it. Number three on the list of the top six uses for the Australian nuclear submarine are driving through illegal fishing nets real fast. Imagine if you were out there like illegally putting out some nets and all of a sudden your boat

starts going backwards. You're like, what's happened? Is it a grey white shark or is it? Nope, it's not a grey white shark, it's the nuclear sub. Number two on the list of the top six uses for the Australian nuclear submarines.

Rescuing people with harebrained ideas about what boats are capable of what journeys. You know, there's always someone like, I thought my idea'd make it, man. Oh, who are you to tell me I can't go to Fiji in my three foot long inflatable? I'm an Australian bloody citizen. And number one on the list of the top six uses for the Australian nuclear submarine, I'm fighting the nuclear killer great white sharks and killer crocs when they're making all this nuclear stuff and some of it leaks. Oh my God.

Movies have taught me anything. It'll mutate the most dangerous creature in the environment and turn them into an absolute apex super predator. Yeah. So they don't need to hunt them down. Using the very nuclear submarine that created them. It's an environmental lesson. That is today's top six.

ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Auckland. Level four continues. Takeaways still not on the menu. However, we're finding alternatives, aren't we? Yeah, like using your essential worker letter to do a market. No! No. I didn't mean that.

Right. I meant making our own boigas. Oh, yeah. Frying our own chuck on. And, I don't know, what do the other ones do? Making our own milkshakes. Well, people have been saying they miss, like, I had some friends say, Like oh I miss Thai food

It's like Thai food to me Is the easiest to make yourself Jamie Oliver can't do it Yeah but that's because You like a simple green curry Or something If you're getting like A panang or something

Yeah but then And it's also that It's also the It's all the same Yeah exactly Because when you pick it up You order it They say it's going to be

Ten minutes Always Yep You drive down You pick it up, you order it. They say it's going to be 10 minutes always. Yeah. You drive down, you pick it up, you get home, you eat it. It's all done, dusted, no dishes. Here's what happens when you cook it at home. 12 hours prep. Eight years to do the dishes.

And it takes two seconds to eat. Got to get all the sauces. Yeah. Yeah. So it's the convenience that I think a lot of people are missing. Well, Pack and Save at some of their stores have started doing fried chicken. Fried chicken with familiar sounding options like family feast. And the fried chicken comes in a bucket. I think what they've done here is identified a current gap and been like, we can fill that.

But the lines for the fried chicken are insane. Oh, really? Insane. And some people are going in for nothing else but. I mean, while you're there, get a couple of bread rolls. Yeah. But that's like essentially takeaway, right? Inside the supermarket.

Yeah. Well, my supermarket does the rotisserie chickens, so they'll also do some fried chicken. No, this is more like a roast shop style divvying out of fried chicken. Like it's all deep fried and sat. And I think you can pick like, this is the strength of it.

I think you can walk up and be like, all thigh. Yeah. Yeah, good. Give me 10 thighs. Would you pick thigh? Megan, we've talked about this. Don't tell me you'd pick breast.

It's the driest part of the chicken. No, I'd pick leg. Lots of leg. That's thigh junior. That's thigh junior with a very sharp bone in it. The thigh's the ultimate cut. But yeah, now people are apparently just going and going absolutely crazy for these. I'm having the pack and save on the way home from here.

He's got it because this looks like lunch. This looks like an easy lunch. Yep. So anything to get you through. Yeah. Yeah. You do what you need to do. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan.

A landlord has sparked fury, and this has gone viral on TikTok, because a flat have uploaded a video of their new keypad entry. It's a fingerprint. One of those fancy digital locks. Oh, like a pin code. Yeah, because do you want one of these? Yeah, we've got a new door. Okay.

And I was like, I want one of them. Put in a pin code. Because you can use an app, right? So you could unlock it for a tradie or the next one up from ours you could. Why didn't you get a fancy one? Ours you can put a temporary pin on. They'll only work for a day. Oh, yeah.

So you can put a temporary pin on. And then you could give that to the tradie. Right. And I don't want them in the house. You could also, because there are some, I don't want them in the house. You could also. Sniffing my undies. Because there are some. I don't know if yours does this, but you can open up an app and you could lock the door

if you've forgotten to lock it, right? Yeah. That's pretty insane. You can check if it's locked. You can go onto the app and. Yeah. I want when you walk out, you just like put your hand over the whole keypad and it goes and locks.

Right. And so can you ever forget your keys? It wouldn't matter. It wouldn't matter. It wouldn't matter. Oh, see, that's a dream, eh? You've got a pin number to get in. That is the absolute dream. Well, the landlord's put this on.

This doesn't have a keypad by the looks of the photo. It's a fingerprint just above the handle. Okay. So they're upset because they're saying that he's done this so that if they get behind on their rent, he can just lock them out of their house. And also it means their friends and people that don't live there and pay can't get in

because their fingerprint... But so did he ask them to fingerprint? Did he come around and he was like... They must do. He must have. When they moved in, he said, oh, well, give us all your fingerprints so you can unlock your door.

Yeah, right. And then if any of their friends needed to go around, they wouldn't be able to because they'd need the fingerprint of one of the flatmates. Can you delete fingerprints? Yeah,

you can upload and delete as many as you want. Yeah. But he can't legally do that, right? Well, that's what they're saying, can he?

Just lock them out. Where is this in America? It looks like it's in America. Story on an Australian website. Does what he wants. Yeah, it's America. Yeah, it's America. Yeah.

God. But yeah, I don't, because you see a lot of these locks. I've stayed at Airbnbs with these locks, which is good, because then I guess the host can let you in if you forget the pin or they don't have to come around. No worry about you losing the key. Yeah, and I guess they can delete the in if you forget the pin or they don't have to come around. No worry about you losing the key. Yeah, and I guess they can delete the pin after you use the Airbnb so you don't

come back and steal the TV a week later. That kind of thing. But yeah, I don't know about... My advice would be don't fall behind on rent. Just to provide some balance. You guys were sounding a bit like weak. With an iron fist. Did you ever fall behind

in Hamilton in your flailing days? No. Well, my name was never on the list. Oh, you're that guy. Here we go. Technically, I never fell behind, no. No, but the other person, the other flowmates did. ZDM's Fletch,

Ron and Megan. We've had some correspondents asking what to do. This is a COVID wedding. I just need to scroll up, so I don't want to say her name. Okay. Oh, it's a her. That will become obvious. I'll solve the rest.

Question, please. Would really appreciate your advice. I am a COVID bride with a wedding booked for this November. A COVID bride. Whenever I hear COVID bride, I'm like, they've had COVID. Or you think of an ISIS bride or someone that's been forced into it. An ISIS bride has joined ISIS, so a COVID bride has COVID in my mind. Oh, yeah, okay.

No, I think she means as in like trying to get married during COVID times. Okay. We've already sent the Save the dates to our 100 guests. As per level two restrictions, and I am about to send the invitations, do I, A, send only 50 in case we're in level two again by then? Oh, B. Or B, send all 100 guests these invites and then uninvite 50 if needed?

C. There's no C. You can never do it. Every time you do lists, options, three minimum. Four preferable. There might only be two options. Don't A or B it. You're taking out of this.

I don't like, I'm not given enough options. That's a coin toss. Toss a coin. Three, please. No, life isn't a multi-choice at a high school test. And if any of the ones are all of the above. It's very often one or the other. Always all of the above.

So she said, I'm not sure what the wedding etiquette is for COVID times. Note, we have an indoor venue, so we can't have 100. Right. So they're basically saying that we're reserving the right. Do you need to put an asterisk on the invite? Being like, you are one of a hundred. We reserve the right to potentially invite you. If we need to knock it down to 50, some will be randomly selected.

But would you be that? I mean, you'd be understanding, right? But then maybe not because if it's a. Not if I've taken the suit to the dry cleaners. Or you've booked flights, like maybe you need to go. Here's the thing. I've had two weddings. One, I had 109 people or something.

And number two, we had 46. Did you? Yeah. Is that all? Yeah. It felt very full. My heart was so full. I think I had that full heart of three people.

Shut up, Dix. That was so disingenuous. I was being genuine. I was saying it felt bigger. When have you ever said my heart was full? My heart was full. I thought that was very genuine. There wasn't any more people there because it was barbecue and it meant I got to eat lots.

So I'm saying that the lesser people felt like more, I don't know, more intimate. And you only had people there that you really wanted there. But then this is your second wedding. That's fine for you to say that. But your first wedding, there is the pressure maybe to invite more people. No, but this is the out you need.

Right. There's all those people that your parents are like, you shouldn't invite them. And then there's like third tier people that you're like, oh, if I invited them, I have to invite them. This is your excuse to just like have super close friends. So does she invite 50, but then if you get closer, like maybe next year if we're all vaccinated, we'll be allowed out more and there won't be as many lockdowns. This is November.

Oh, okay, so no. Right. I think you'd invite 50, right? This is the perfect excuse to be like, we just don't know what's going to happen. But then what do you do to the other 50 people that you save the date? You just say, hey, look, because of COVID we're not

inviting you now. Yeah, I forgot that you'd already sent the save the date. Yeah, because you've sent the save the date. Executive Intern Anja, have you got a wedding coming up? In theory, yep. So when is this wedding? The second weekend of October. Wait, you're

oh no, you're not getting married. No, I'm not. Have I just forgotten? Yeah, this is not how I announce it guys. This is a friend and so this is outside of level four. This is happening down south somewhere. Yep, yep. In Christchurch. Now, so are you still invited? So we got a message there's a group of us all going down from Auckland

probably about ten of us. We got a message There's a group of us all going down from Auckland Probably about 10 of us We got a message last week Saying That they have to prepare For every possible outcome And as it stands They're only going to have 50 And that will include family And a few close friends

Right and do you understand 100% It would be so It would be stressful enough without any of us and a few close friends. Right. And do you understand? A hundred percent. A hundred percent. It would be stressful enough without any of us being like, well, we've got Jetstar flights to think about. Oh, your club Jetstar. You've used your club Jetstar for that, have you? Yes, yes, I have.

That's where you'll get credit though, won't you? Yeah. Okay. I'm really not far. Although they did say yesterday that for those in Level 2, you might be able to, when they move to level one, have 100 people. Yeah. But you'll still be stuck here, so that doesn't matter.

Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Zoom wedding. Okay. So, yeah, what do you think she does? What's the right etiquette? Yeah. And maybe you've been in this situation as well,

and you can offer some advice. 0800 dials at M. You can text as well, 9696. Does she uninvite 50 people, or does she just not invite them in the first place? I've got the third option. What is it? Ask your husband how he pronounces,

you know the, oh God. You know that red fruit that grows in summer, and you can make sauce out of it, and the seeds are on the inside, and there's a big argument, is it a fruit or a vegetable? No, it's the red one.

Very popular red one. You'd slice it... Tomato. Oh, I say tomato. So let's call the whole thing off. It was worth it. Was it? It was worth it.

Was it? 0800DARLS.M Give us a call. 9696. Text them. What should she do in this situation? She sent out 100 save the dates. Should she only invite 50 people?

Or should she invite the whole 100 and have to uninvite 50 potentially? Or does she dump him because of the tomato thing? I don't know. So we've had a question. I am a COVID bride with a wedding booked for this November. We've already sent out the save the dates to our 100 guests. Do I send only 50 invites in case we're in level two by then or send all 100 guests invites and uninvite 50 if I need to?

What a predicament. You still technically have to uninvite them because you've got save the dates. Somebody raised a question. Does that include all the catering staff and venue staff? Are they in your 50 or 100 limit? That's a good point because then you might only get. Somebody raised a question. Does that include all the catering staff and venue staff? Are they in your 50 or 100 limit? That's a good point because then you might only get... So I've looked.

I've done a look and the COVID-19 Gov'd website says that workers providing services to the event are not included in the indoor and outdoor gathering limits. Okay, so you can invite 50 people. So you can still have 50 guests. It's 50 guests. Yeah. Right. But then, yeah, they did say yesterday

at the presser that any kind of venue and stuff in Level 1, they're looking to maybe make it 100 people for those in the South Island, which they'll be happy about that. It's better than 50. Yeah. Right. So what should she do?

AJ's called up. AJ, what do you reckon? Oh, so we got married last year during COVID, and we had a limit. I think, I can't remember how much it was, but I think it was around 20. So we split it into two. So we had kind of like the older people that we didn't think were going to be there for the longer party. We got them there in the afternoon. And then the younger crew, we decided we'll get them there in the evening. So everyone still could come, and it worked out really well.

I didn't even think about that. What a great idea, like two parties. Yeah, effectively. And we could still have everyone come, and everyone got to celebrate, and probably celebrate the timing that they were going to celebrate to anyway. Yeah, but then what about those people that miss out on the ceremony? Did you do a double ceremony, a fake one a second time around? We're actually going to do a fake one second time around this year.

But we just had a real small ceremony, and we just had the party afterwards, yeah. Okay. Send them a Zoom link, the ones that aren't there. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, send them a Zoom. Watch the ceremony and then come to the party later. Or you could even, like, have it, get someone to record it and then put it on a screen for the 50 people later.

Stream it. Yeah. Yeah. AJ thinks he calls the messages in. Someone said, reduce the number, double the catering. I know that was. Well, by reducing the number, you're already doubling the standard catering, aren't you? Yeah, because that's what I was thinking.

You can have two puddings. Everyone has two puddings. I think I did like seven puddings at your wedding. Yeah, they came out late and everyone had started drinking and they weren't coming back for their pudding. And so I ate so many puddings. There was two types of people. The ones that are drunk on the dance floor and then the ones that were hoovering everyone else's desserts

at the tables. That was me. And there was like some... You were Brad. Black Market and Connor. And there was like some You were bread. black market and Connor and there was like a black market of pudding sharing as well.

I was like, I've got a creme brulee. I'll swap your creme brulee. What do you got there? Brownie? Okay, one creme brulee, one brownie. Swap, swap, swap, swap.

It's just like the mafia had moved in on the pudding industry. Good puddings. Somebody else said, I have a wedding to go to. First week of October we've been told that the wedding won't go ahead unless it's level one.

They make the call the week before. That's got to be a wedding where you're controlling everything, though. Because you couldn't do that. You couldn't put that on caterers or a venue or anything. That'd need to know well out. Unless they're just super loaded and they're like, we'll just cancel it and pay for it and pay for another one later. I had to downscale my wedding last year from 200 to 50.

Wow. We only ended up inviting uncles and aunties and the closest friends that we both knew well. Best day ever. Imagine having that

many friends. 200. Yeah. I mean, if you can knock it down to 50 that easily, you probably could knock Yeah, quality of the

quantity, people. Yeah. Would your aunties and uncles make the cut though if it was only 50? Like, sorry, Uncle Rog, love you dearly, but... It's not at my people. Yeah. Would your aunties and uncles make the cut though if it was only 50? Like, sorry, Uncle Rog, love you dearly, boo. Not at my wedding.

They didn't. Not after your recent Facebook comments. Yeah. Everyone that ended up... So, yeah, they finished up by saying everyone that ended up not getting the invite fully understood, which was pretty cool. I mean, you'd have to be a bit of a prick to all of a sudden you're uninvited. And then have an issue with it.

Because of horrendous numbers downsides and a global pandemic. And you're like, well, this doesn't suit me. Find everybody else that didn't get invited and have a wedding by proxy. Producer Jared opened up to us this morning. Glum, I would have said The special expression was

And I thought he would have been happy Because you fixed his minion dungarees, Megan Yeah, well that happiness was short-lived Yeah, Banana didn't do Banana didn't even make him happy Banana And we said Why the glum face there, fella?

Well, Emma and I... This is your midi. This is midi. Who, by the way, lately when we've been playing Fortnite, every now and then Gerard will be like, that's really good. And I'm like, who's he talking to? And he'll be like, what is that? And you should hear the level of interest he has in his midi's new hobby.

What is it called? Crochet. He's making a blanket. Oh, that's cute. What do you call that one? Yeah, I'm really proud of her. It is genuine to us. It's not that thing I do when Shade's trying to tell me something when I'm playing PlayStation.

I'm like, yep, yep, yep. Oh, cool. Yep, yep, yep, yep. I'll do it soon. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Cool. It's really like genuine. Is it genuine

no legit legit true story he is he's not because then when she walks away he's not like oh my god or anything like that yeah right it's god you should see this blanket oh my god this we're gonna this blanket's gonna be one of those things we have to stare at for 25 years yeah um so that's why this betrayal hurts. This is why this cut's so deep. Yeah, I'm going to have to have words with her tonight because last night she cheated on me with Kyle from Below Deck. Where did Kyle come from? We've been watching a lot of Below Deck.

Okay, yep, yep. He's a strapping bearded young man and for some reason... That's Kyle Below Deck. Dude, what does he look like now? He's like, I'm looking at his, I just Googled Kyle Below Deck image search on Google. I'm seeing 12 different people. This guy has an array of looks. It's the one with the beard.

This one here? Yep. That looks like a mug shot. But up here he looks like this really, like, he went to grammar, and his mates still talk about how they went to grammar. Yeah, it's the grammar one. That guy.

He's got his tats. That's what he looks like. Yeah, right. By all accounts, a handsome man. So, and he, this is a dream, I'm assuming. This came to you in a dream last night. Yeah, it was a dream. Well, otherwise, Kyle's breached level four.

Now, what happened in this dream? Well, I was a deckhand. She was a stewardess. Okay. We were chartered on the same yacht. So wait, you and your girlfriend are working on Below Deck? Yep. Okay, right.

And I was bringing in the pool toys. Wait, you're on a boat. They're sea toys, technically. Or is there a pool on the boat? There's you're on a boat. They're sea toys, technically. Or is there a pool on the boat? No, there's a pool that comes out of the boat and floats in the ocean so that jellyfish can't sting it. Oh my god, I haven't seen that.

Wait, is that real? Man, how rich people don't get stung by jellyfish. That's unheard of. Me and the other deckhands far out. It's a struggle to set that one up. Okay. Such a knowledgeable dream, mate. by jellyfish. That's unheard of. Me and the other deckhands far out. It's a struggle to set that one up. Okay. Yeah. This is such a knowledgeable

dream, mate. Yeah, so you're getting in the pool toys. I'm assuming the pool's getting pulled in back into the boat. Yeah, and then I climb back.

Oh my God, Megan's just googled what they do. The pool, the series that I watched, they didn't have this sea pool. You've got to commit,

I'm on season four or five. Can sharks get in the sea pool? Nah. There's a net under there, but not a big net. Is it a big net or a little net? Little net, but yeah. So I'm climbing back onto the yacht Vala. Okay, yeah.

And I spy out the corner of my eye, Kyle and the middy having a little pash. Oh, no. This, of course, is, again, if you've just joined us, this is a dream. Yeah. A very detailed dream. So did you... How did you...

Is that where it ended? Did you wake up? No, I went off and sulked in my cabin. Oh, did you go down below? You went below deck to sulk? I went below deck. So what, you pretended you didn't see? You didn't confront them?

Yeah, I just needed a moment to process. Oh, no. Oh, Sharon, I'm so hurt for you. Then my alarm went off and I woke up and I rolled over and I was like, bye babe, love you. I had a really bad dream. Oh!

Did you wake up with a little teary eye? Yeah, I woke up a little bit upset. I've had those dreams and you wake up and it's really hard to not be pissed off. Because the feelings linger and you're like, um, you cheated on me. This is

the biggest, this riles me up no end and I can tell exactly when it's happened. Shardell will be grumpy and I'll be like, what's happened? And she's like, I've had a bad dream. And I'll be like, you can't be angry at me. You created this entire scenario. And she's angry at me and whomever.

What are you doing during the day to make me dream this at night? You are crazy. Why do I feel these emotions that you could potentially cheat? And then I have this dream and it's your fault! It's your own insecurities, yeah. But once,

I think it was like, I think because I've been talking about Red Aura or Vanessa Hudgens, I think that was one of them once. And so I asked her to walk me through it. Really describe exactly what she'd seen. What was she wearing? Yeah, yeah. Wait, wait, wait.

Was I like good? Was she like enjoying herself? Oh my God. Yeah, right. Did you get involved? Go back to sleep. Go back to sleep. Get involved.

Get involved. Tell me more. I need more detail. Okay, I'll see you in three minutes. If. Nice. I'm assuming you in three minutes. If. Nice. I'm assuming this is a very short dream. And so you'll be going home to the medi

and she's in trouble and doesn't even know it. Yeah. You are not going to be able to watch because of this weird emotion that you're not going to be able to watch below deck and every time you see him, you're going to get a little regurgitation of the feelings this made you feel.

He was one of my favourite characters, but now I hate him. Has she commented on him before? No, she doesn't even like him. Would it make it easier if he apologised to you? Yeah, I think so. Okay, great. Well, he recently got done for robbing something. So she likes her bad boys. Your middy robbing something. So she likes her bad boys.

Your middy likes your bad boys. She likes her bad boys. Did you end up getting the seapool in before all this happened? Oh, that's a whole other story. Oh, right. Okay. What a nightmare. ZM's Flesh Warner Megan.

Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As at Herald's new podcast, the front, is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to The Front Page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. The NHS, this is

the national health system in the UK. It's like our health system. What's our health system acronym? I don't think we've got an acronym. Do we just call it the health system. Yeah. What's our health system acronym? I don't think we've got an acronym. Do we just call it the health system? Yeah.

Huh. I thought every government department had to have an acronym. National Health Service. Is it? Yeah. In the UK it is, yeah. So the S is full service. Stand corrected.

Well, they have a document called NHS's Start 4 Life. Four being the number. Okay. I'm assuming because it was written in the 90s. Yeah, didn't the 90s love putting four instead of four? And Z instead of S. And P-H's instead of F's. Yeah. You can tell when a hairdresser started in the 90s.

It's fat cuts. P-H. Yep. A-T-K-U-T-Z. Or Cuts For You. Cuts, yeah. Fat Cuts For You. In fact, there will be no greater 90s barbershop name than Fat Cuts For You.

Yeah. So start for life week-to-week pregnancy guide. So it gives you like in the early stages of pregnancy and what you can expect later in the pregnancy. So this is like what a leaflet that they give you. Yeah. If you're pregnant. Well, Jolie, she runs a Facebook group called Pregnant and Screwed

about maternity discrimination. Oh, right. Okay. And she said that there is writing that says some weeks into it that the pregnant female should get help with household chores from your partner, family, and friends. And she said, oh, that's problematic because that's saying that even though they're a pregnant female, all domestic duties still fall upon them

and getting help insinuates that it's their responsibility but if they're feeling weak they could ask somebody to help them. I like this. This is a great tip though. In the same page. Okay. Keep your knees together when getting in and out of the car.

Not for the flashing reason apparently. It's easier. Yeah, it's easier. And put a plastic bag on the seat so you can swivel. Oh, what a good idea. So you sit on it and then you sit on a plastic bag and you swivel in. That would have been a great use for single-use plastic bags. Gone now.

Maybe you could glad wrap your seat. Glad wrap your butt. Don't know. But it's later on, this becomes closer to your due date. Action stations. This is what this chapter is called. Okay. You're getting very close to the due date now,

and I'll read it as it is written. Verbatim. This could be a good week to make a fuss of your partner. Partners can feel a little bit overlooked sometimes. Oh, wait. To be fair. Continue. I've got questions. Please save your questions to the end. To be fair, I've got questions Please save your questions

To the end To be fair They're not lugging a baby Around in their belly But they may be feeling nervous And not sure how they're Going to fit into the picture You could try for example

Cooking them a special meal Here are some tasty recipes You could try Are you kidding me? I can see why this has Actually written Become controversial Like near your due date Yeah, if hurts, your feet hurt, everything is swollen.

I'm hungry and I don't know where to put it. I put it in a picture with the baby. You better not like this baby more than me. I need attention. Yeah. God. That is so ridiculous. So, would you have dared even asking your wife, Shade, to cook?

Or just saying, like, where's dinner? I would never say that now. Yeah. Where's dinner? Earlier in the day, we have a mutual discussion, what's for dinner? Yeah. Where we will discuss dinner options. But there's never like, where's dinner or what time's dinner?

I remember my gran had saying, what time's dinner? And even as a kid being like careful and it'll be ready when it's ready yeah I'd get annoyed when Andrew's like

what's wrong I'd be like um I don't know like a multitude of things I got a baby growing in Shadman

but like had he asked me to cook him dinner well no he shouldn't have to ask. You've got to look after him. You've got to give him a special treat. Yeah, did you not read the instruction manual? This is why it's in the manual.

So when approached for comment, the health service has said, this wording is out of date and will now be changed. We recognise it's not appropriate and we apologise. We'd like to encourage all pregnant women to seek help if they need it both physically and emotionally. Good. Right.

When was it written, though? Yeah. How out of date is that? Like, the 40s? Nah, because it's not in a 1940s font. Yeah, right. It's like a 2000s font. You know how fonts, like the acceptable font,

you can look at a font and kind of get a feeling of what decade something was printed? Yeah. And it's digital. It's online as well as printed. So that tells me that... Yeah. Welcome

everybody to Friday Face Yoga. Namaste to you all. Namaste. Namaste Megan. Namaste. Namaste. Namaste Megan. Namaste. What are you doing?

Did you not even do that as a kid? Yeah, all the time as a kid, but not as a grown adult on a nationwide radio station. The trick is The trick is that. How slow. Can you hit the dots? How big a gap you can get between the noises. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Audio seven. And if not, yeah. That was good. That was good. That was good fun.

All right. First off for Friday Face Yoga today, I want everyone to, like, push their lips together but also out. Mm-hmm. Like a loose duck face. Looser. Loose. You've got terrible mouth.

I was very tight. You've got terrible mouth control, by the way. You've got a tight mouth. a tight mouth His lips and his tongue Fluid Loosen it up Yeah like that That's it Because that's what we want to do

Make this noise And then breathe out It's all that lip filler you got Make your lips too tight Too tight Tiny tongue Tiny tongue Tiny tongue Tight lips It's all that lip filler you got, mate. Your lips are too tight. Too tight. Tiny tongue. Tiny tongue.

Tiny tongue, tight lips. Am I doing this right? I guess I... That. That sound. Yeah. That's a disappointed horse. Yeah. That sound. Yeah. That's a disappointed horse. Yeah. That's the horse.

I'm one of the many horses owned by Karaka Horseman and COVID Boundary Jumper, William Willis, this week. William. You can't ride me this weekend. You've been a naughty boy. Next exercise, I want everybody to kind of squint their eyes like there's a bright light. It feels good. You feel this in the forehead.

It's really stretching that out, isn't it? Stretch out the cheeks, the eyes. That's because the ozone hole, the ozone layer hole above Antarctica, bigger than it's been on previous record for the last few years. You're squinting because the UV factors up and you forgot your sunglasses. Great. You've got to get used to a summer of squinting and always remember to slip, slop, slap, rap,

and the one with the sunglasses. Next, I want everybody to, again, you might struggle with this one, Fletch, but I can walk you through the assisted one after I get the rest of the class onto this one. I need you to bite your lip in a sexy manner. What was that? That was... That was disgusting. Don't do that again, please.

Yeah. This is really not the time to learn none of us can do a sexy lip bite. You do it. What was that? It's all on you. It's all on you. It's like this.

You don't just bite your whole lip. You've got to do it on the side. Oh, jeez. Oh, I'm not sexy. We're all at different levels of our face yoga journey. Okay, sexy lip bite. Now, I want that to be your vaccination face this weekend if you're getting vaccinated.

How weird would it be to be giving someone a vaccine and they go, I don't do that to the vaccinologists. They don't need that shit. Have you got a bigger needle? One more time, Fletch. Give me your sexy lip bite. That's what

stroke victims look like. This is Fletcher's sexy lip bite. He just bites his whole body with his lip. You look like you've just been

to the dentist and you're trying to work out if your lip feelings come back yet. And finally today for Friday Face, I want you to

just chatter your teeth. Don't do that. And if you want to, advanced teeth chatterers can put their fingernails in and chew those nails right down to the nub because it's time to

give in to your anxiety a little bit and chew your nails down right to the cuticle. Might as well get a little mouthful of that cuticle on the side and get that up. And the finger as well. And it's cheaper than eating actual food.

As somebody did a study this week on how food prices have gone up in the last six months. Everything across the board's gone up. So maybe it's time to turn to the healthiest and cheapest snack on hand that are on your actual hands. Finger nails.

Your finger nails. Okay. I'll leave you there today. Namaste. Namaste. Namaste. Lord, give us one more of those sexy lip bites.

Friday Flashback. But each week, every Friday morning, we take a turn picking a song, a banger that is at least 10 years old. This one is from 1987, so it fits that bill. It won a Grammy, and it was her most successful song at the time. Okay. It was number one in New Zealand. It was number one in 14 countries around the world in 1987.

It's topical this week because there's news of a movie remake. Is there? Is there? Isn't that why we were talking about this? No. No. No. Oh, my God. It is literally what gave you the idea for this song.

No, it isn't. This song wasn't in the movie. Another one of her songs. No, it's not. What? It was the podcast I was listening to that's doing an episode on that song. And I said I'd never seen the movie. Oh, they're doing a remake of it.

Oh, my God. That news was literally yesterday. Where were you with this update? I thought that's why we were talking about... No, I just wanted to do this song for a long time because the title is just very fitting at this time. Oh, my God, we've all come in at different angles. Yeah, it's getting a remake.

Who's going to be in it? Well, yeah, the movie we talk about is The Bodyguard. Because I think Kevin Costner's probably too old to carry somebody and kick anybody out of the way now. He'll be like,

oh! Plus he's too busy on Yellowstone, isn't he? Yeah. Kevin Costner? Yeah. Everybody tells me to watch that.

Every time I put on a cowboy hat, people are like, you've got to watch Yellowstone. Oh, right, okay. So yeah, it feels fitting

hence that we can't really go to the club and dance with anyone. And just, it's a really good song that was number one in New Zealand in okay. So yeah, it feels fitting, hence that we can't really go to the club and dance with anyone. And just, it's a really good song that was number one in New Zealand in 1987, Whitney Houston. I want to dance with somebody. As your Friday flashback,

on ZM, Lord's next. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I won't let it go. Thought strikes upon the hour and the sun begins to fade. Still enough time to figure out how to chase my blues away. Thank you. Loneliness calls Oh, I wanna dance with somebody I wanna feel the heat with somebody Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody

With somebody who loves me Oh, I wanna dance with somebody I wanna feel the heat with somebody. Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody. With somebody who loves me. I've been in love and lost my senses, singing through the town. Sooner or later, the fever ends and I wind up feeling down. I need a man who'll take a chance on a love that burns hot enough to last. So when the night falls, my lonely heart calls. Oh, I want to dance with somebody. I want to feel the heat with somebody.

Yeah, I want to dance with somebody. With somebody who loves me. Oh, I want wanna dance with somebody I wanna feel the heat Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody With somebody who loves me Somebody who, somebody who Somebody who, somebody who, somebody who loves me

Somebody who, somebody who, to hold me in his arms I need a man to take a chance on a love that burns hot enough to last So when the night falls My lonely heart calls I'm gonna dance with somebody I'm gonna feel the heat with somebody Yeah, I'm gonna dance with somebody With somebody who loves me

Oh, oh Now get the dance Whoa, oh, oh Don't you wanna dance Dance With me, baby Don't you wanna dance Dance

Don't you wanna dance Say you wanna dance Don't you wanna dance Dance Don't you wanna dance Say you wanna dance Dance That just really abruptly ends. Whatever radio station we stole that from. Flick an email through to their music director. They're going to just stop the song.

And it was actually like getting to that part where she does it. It fades out with Whitney in the absolute, you know, up octave. The whistle register. Yeah. Unbelievable. Sorry, that was very rude. I'll finish it for you. Don't you want to dance? Say you want to dance. Oh, it's the baby. to do it. Yeah. Unbelievable. Sorry, that was very rude. I'll finish it for you. Don't you want to dance?

Say you want to dance. Oh, it's the baby. Go with you. Okay. I can dance. Good. Now, before we get to Lorde, who's standing by on Zoom. Who will patiently wait.

Just wait there, please. Banger, someone says. Banger, right. Okay. At last, Megan. Yes, great choice. So there's an underhanded compliment. Someone said it's always the who that gets me.

Yeah. Dear Lord, that song took me right back to bubble skirts, I assume they mean. Bubble skirts. Okay. And spaghetti jeans. I don't know what that is. I'm too young.

I can't even remember. Jeans made of spaghetti. Yeah. Wow, from Whitney Houston. Joining us on the phone. Zoom. Well, Zoom. Wow, from Whitney Houston. Joining us on the phone. Zoom. Well, Zoom. Wow, it's a...

Just showing my age because of the spaghetti jeans. Joining us on Zoom. Lord, good morning. Good morning. How are you? Very good. Thank you. Now, I told my daughters we were interviewing you today

and August went like this. What? She's not coming to our house this time. Listen, I would love to regret that. I coming to our house this time. Listen, I would love to regret that I want to see the new place. I feel like

there's so many things. I think of animals now. You know, I want to see it all. There's no shortage. It's a little bit of a menagerie. But yeah,

I think August just assumes when you release a new album it means you then visit her. She's very self-centered. It's a privilege.

She was a little scared of me last time, so I'd love to redo that image of her that she has in my mind. Yeah, I think she's scared of you. I think she's scared of the camera. She's a little camera shy. She certainly wasn't scared of you. But it's been, what, four years since the last album and now the new album's out and you're in America.

Is that right? You're still in America? You were in America a few days ago at the Met Gala and stuff. So how's it all going over there? Yeah, it's awesome. It's really good. It's so nice to be warm, to be honest. I feel like Sunshine is really

doing it for me. But no, it's been cool. We've done heaps of cool work stuff and the Met Ball was quite fun and just sort of doing bits here and there. It's nice. Of your promo round, I've got to say that Seth Meyers' drinking thing

is just gone. He would fit very well in New Zealand. He was just out to get obliterated. We were so drunk. It is crazy. Honestly, I've never been that drunk. And, like, it's hard to describe what was happening in my brain. Like, to be in a work environment that way.

Truly wild. You should have seen me when I got home because I feel like it sunk in a little more once I left and then I was, you know, a total disaster. You definitely held it together a lot better than he did. I think he just kind of gave into it and it took control.

Now with the, we've been seeing all the photos and all the news from the Met Ball, but I want to know about the anxiousness, because when you're going to an event like that, it's a who's who of celebrities. There's so much pressure. I was so anxious just even thinking about being in a room

with all of those people. What's it like for you? Well, this was my third Met, and the first two I was horribly nervous, sat alone pretty much the whole night, you know, talked to barely anyone. It's something about this time. I don't know if it's just because I'm different or people are, you know, we're just like excited to be at something after being in their houses for 18 months. But I genuinely had an incredible time. I left and I was like that was one of

the best nights ever. I don't know what made it so fun. I think just like knowing people now as well you're sort of like oh hi, oh hi you know. But yeah I guess it is a lot of famous people but that part of it doesn't freak me out. What happens

inside because we don't get to see inside. And there's this whole mystique around it. We're like, oh, what, do they dance? Is there drinking? Like, what happens? Yeah, well, there's, you have like cocktails and then there's a dinner, a beautiful dinner

and a performance. There's a super cool performance. Yeah, I never knew what happened either, but there's like a full thing that happens afterwards. After doing that drink carpet, it's just like, people are just, you know, the first cocktail is like, I think

I drank it in 10 seconds. Is there a buffet? There's no buffet, alas. There's the New Zealander in a mate. How much are we eating? Kiki Palmer put up that picture of the plate of food and was like, hmm, this is like Fyre Festival. But then I saw the caterers were like,

no, the food was actually amazing. So can you confirm? Well, this is a bit naughty, but I didn't eat. That's so Kiwi of you. I was doing a lot of chatting, so I missed the food. But I had some french fries later in the evening which went down the tree.

Do you see... You're smoking your meat at home. You've still got the home meat. We've hit new... There's been big developments in four years. Big developments. I want to be trying this. I need to have a tasting. More than welcome any time.

Moved on to your beef, your licey, your beef shin. We can talk about lice. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll talk beef shin later. You're a highly fascinating topic. I've got to mention Te Ao Marama, the five-track EP you put out in Tadeo. I was actually talking to, it was Madeline Sami.

That's not a name drop. I just wanted to accredit it to I didn't say this, but she said she thinks your singing voice in Te Reo is even nicer than your singing voice in English. Oh, thanks, Madeline. I appreciate it. Yeah, it's such a gorgeous language to sing in. I don't think I realised how much I would enjoy

singing in Te Reo Māori. It's insane how, it's so delicate. I realised how much I would enjoy singing in te reo Māori. It's insane how, it's so delicate, you know, I really wanted to get all the nuances right because, you know, I think if you're going to come and try and have this sort of appreciation and pay this respect to a language that, you know, you don't sort of speak historically, it's important to try and get it right. So I did work super hard on my pronunciation. So thank you.

Who were you working with? And was that something you did in person when you were in New Zealand? Or was it by distance when you were back in the States that you did it? No, yeah, it was very much an in-person process. And it took like, I think I did it over about six months. So Hana Mereraiha was an incredible translator that I worked with,

as well as Himi Kelly, who is a lecturer at AT. And then we had Hinewehi Mohi and Sir Timothy Karetu, who are just like legends of the Reo movement. And we're just, everyone was so supportive, but also, you know, making sure that I was coming at it from the right place and really asking a lot of questions of me. And I felt so sort of met, but also, you know, like challenged by the process.

It was amazing. Yeah, and it sounds beautiful and it adds like a real,, I mean, there's very much a Kiwi summer feel to a lot of the songs on the album. But yeah, it just added an undeniable Aotearoa feel to it. So yeah, awesome. I appreciate it. It's so cool. And regardless if it's in Te Reo or English,

it's a very summery sounding album. An album we're actually looking forward to hearing in summer because I believe the day your album dropped here, Solar Power, there was a big frost. It was wintry. This is the problem with a summer jams record is someone's always going to really lose out. But just, you know, hold out, hold out.

It's going to be great. Like Antarctica. Yeah. You went to Antarctica? Yes. Never told you about that. Yeah. That'll be funny. You went to Antarctica? Yes. Never told you about that. Yeah. Was that cool?

Was that an experience that you'd do again? Did you? Unbelievable. I mean, I would love to go again, but I don't think I should go again. I think it's really, for people like me to travel to Antarctica, I was like, oh, I'm sort of not doing it.

You know, I'm not a scientist. I'm not someone who's essential to, you know, telling people what's down here in the same way. So I sort of felt like I'd had my fill and I was so lucky to get that trip, but it was unreal. It was really one of the, I mean, it's the best, the best trip I've ever been on in my life by far and I will think about it for the rest of my life it's just there's nothing

like it it's like it's like space you know what was something that you saw or learned that stuck with you since you've come back from there I think the um just seeing orca up that close, we went, I like followed the whale scientists to, they sort of try to track these like orca kind of breeding and feeding patterns. So I went with them and we were out on this ice shelf and, you know, about 10 or 20 metres away, there's, you know, just or 20 meters away there's you know just orca

thrashing in the water like that was just an insane experience in the freezing cold in the snow so when do you come back to New Zealand you got gigs here uh next year when when do you sort of migrate back to Aotearoa? Summer? A bit of downtime? Or are you touring the album? I'm going to try hard to get a summer. I think that will be really nice after, you know, a year of kind of work. And then, yeah, we start tour and then I'll be sort of over here

touring for most of next year and then back for another summer, I hope. I'm becoming one of those annoying people who just ducks back in for summer, you know? Well, hopefully we'll get to the point where you actually can just duck back in for summer rather than having to do a two-week stint in MIQ every time you want to come back. This is true. This is true.

What is the feeling about New Zealand in America at the moment? Because it's always been like that. We're that little rinky-dink country, we've got the cuteness factor, funny little accents, but, you know, we've been through a massive global pandemic now where New Zealand's kind of been held up as the country that handled it fantastically. So what do Americans think of us? Yeah, there's definitely,

I hear a lot about New Zealand and, you know, how we have handled the pandemic. I think people also now are aware that we've gone back into the lockdown. So there's that. I don't think people quite understand, you know, I've tried to do my best at explaining, you know, vaccine rollout was a bit later and everything. So, yeah, I don't think people can quite imagine it any other way except for how they experience the pandemic, for sure. Right. But people love us. There's a real, there's a mythical quality to New Zealand, for sure,

for everyone, really. That's what I found. It's pretty crazy. Did you see Taika at the Met Gala and just be like? I did actually. I did see him, but I don't think he saw me. Yeah, I did see him. He looked very dapper.

I didn't like, I didn't, you know, maybe I didn't wave big enough. Chuck it up there. I did love how you did the questions with Vogue and did you see that a lot of Americans were like what we can't understand you and your Kiwi accent still

well thanks for taking the time out to have a chat to us and we hope to see you back there's a farm load of animals and two small children who think they're entitled to your time. And meat. Meat to be smoked. Meat to be smoked.

Always welcome. I can't wait. CDM's Fletchborn and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is it is now possible Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- bad because according to my Google, the highest point of Dubai, because Dubai is flat, the highest natural point of Dubai is about 32 metres above sea level. Okay. Which doesn't

hold a lot of safety there if there's a huge tsunami, but they're in a gulf, so very small chance of that. But yeah, it's got the Burj. Burj is half of the equation. Okay, because we went up the Burj, didn't we? And's, I mean, it's got the Burj. Burj is half of the equation. Okay, because we went up the Burj.

Didn't we? And Megan, you couldn't even look over the observation deck. It's so high. It's so high. It feels fake. Yeah.

I was terrified, but the kind of, then it gets to the point where it just doesn't feel real because it's so high. It's swaying, but that might have just been me. And she,

the Emirates woman stood on the top. Yeah it's so high. It feels like it's swaying, but that might have just been me. The Emirates woman stood on the top. Yeah. Oh, my God. I couldn't even watch that. Give me that. So that's one half of it. The other half is Dubai is now the home of the world's deepest swimming pool. Okay.

60 meters deep, beating the previous record held in Poland, the deep spot, by an additional 15 meters. So that was 45 meters. And this pool is, it's like a theme, it's kind of like a theme park. Okay. As far as diving pools go. Deep Dive Dubai, it's all indoors.

Okay. You start swimming down and you swim through different levels of an abandoned city, which is all fake. They just made it and they filled it up with water. They dug a 60-meter hole, probably even deeper, because of everything that was required, reinforcement and stuff around it. And then before they filled it up with water, they built an abandoned city film set all the way up.

There's even cars. There's cars in there. It's like a car park. Oh, my God, that looks amazing. There's like fake trees to make it look like roots are growing down through it. And all the way right to the bottom, all 60 metres, it looks like an

artificial sunken city. That's insane. There's a video you can watch on YouTube. It was opened this month as part of Dubai's global village, which is like the centre of Dubai. Yeah. Like where the Birch Cleafer is.

It turned 25 this month. That's right. The whole city. That whole area only just turned 25. It's insane when you look at photos of like 25 years ago and it was just like a little village. Yeah, farmers and stuff. They also celebrated turning 25 by breaking 25 world records in 24 hours. Just like a little village. Yeah, farmers and stuff. They also celebrated turning 25

by breaking 25 world records in 24 hours. That's wild in Dubai, eh? It's a big kid's playground. Yeah, so one of the warnings is if you are going to do the diving thing, which they said with minimal training anybody would be able to do it, if you're going to go right to the bottom,

it's recommended you wait over a day before you go up the Burj Khalifa because if you did the diving and then went up the Burj you'd get the bends or the other way around. That's nuts. Just due to how quick you go up and down the Burj and then how quick you go up and down the 60 Mains

you could end up with the bends. So today's fact of the day is it's now possible to get the bends in Dubai without going in the ocean. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. In case you aren't aware, everyone is talking about Nicki Minaj because she went on Twitter and she said that her cousin's friend

had gotten swollen balls and become impotent after receiving the COVID-19 vaccine and then his fiance left him. It's a whole yarn. It's a whole thing, guys. Despite the fact that this is not a thing that happens when you get the COVID vaccine. So everyone was like, what?

That's not a thing. That sounds like an STI, which is far more likely. And it sounds like an excuse he told his partner. Yeah. So her cousin's friend. We've been talking about her cousin's friend. This whole story is wild. Her cousin's friend is in Trinidad and Tobago, which about her cousin's friend. This whole story is wild. Her cousin's friend is in Trinidad

and Tobago, which is where she's from. And she, well the health minister, so our version of Ashley Bloomfield. And Chris Hipkins. And Chris Hipkins did a press conference because obviously they've heard about this too. And they wanted to address this rumour. One of the reasons we

could not respond yesterday in real time to Ms Minaj is that we had to check and make sure that what she was claiming was either true or false and unfortunately we wasted so much time yesterday running down this false false claim. As far as we know, at this point in time, there has been no such reported either side effect or adverse event. And what was sad about this is that it wasted our time yesterday. Do you hear the way we giggle? It's like laughing at each other like, I can't believe we have to say. Yeah, this is the world we live in now. I have to address this rumour about swollen balls. No reported side effect or adverse event of testicular swelling in Trinidad.

Now, after that. It annoys me that that even would waste, like you said, we wasted so much time yesterday. And we had a press conference the other day and someone says to Boris Johnson, oh, what do you think about Nicki Minaj's cousin's swollen balls? And he's like, I don't know. Oh my God. Like, stupid thing to ask and someone has to dignify it with an answer.

Yeah. I don't think anybody asked Ashley Bloomfield yesterday that question. I'm surprised they didn't. Please don't think anybody asked Ashley Bloomfield yesterday. I'm surprised they didn't. Please don't. Then it was a wild ride yesterday. So we heard that Nicki Minaj had been invited to the White House to talk to them in relation to this. Then the White House said, no, we didn't invite her. And everyone's calling Nicki Minaj a liar.

So she has hit back and she has said, look, okay, I wasn't invited to the White House, but I did get a phone call. I did get offered a phone call by President Biden, which he has confirmed. Okay. Now, she obviously had had enough and she has done a Facebook Live. And do you know why? It's because she couldn't get into her Twitter.

So did she? Because she- Why did she get into her Twitter? Because did Twitter, like, mix her? No, but then Twitter came out and said, we haven't suspended her.

So I don't know if somebody's taken over her account. But yeah, she went on Facebook Live. Look at what they just did. I will never use Twitter again. If, first of all,

I didn't give any facts about any vaccine. I didn't give any facts about anything.. I didn't give any facts about anything. No, but you did. You said your cousin's friend got swollen balls from it. And you're claiming that to be fact. It is absolutely wild. Good Lord.

I'm so embarrassed for the Trinidad and Tobagian health official. Yeah. And now everybody's clambering for an interview with Nicki Minaj's friend's cousin with the swollen balls. Fox News put out a serious request. Yeah, Tucker Carlson. That guy's lost his mind. After they made a correction,

which is rare on Fox News for them to come out and make an apology and a correction because they initially reported it was her cousin with the swollen balls. So they came out and made a correction saying we apologise to Nicki Minaj's cousin. It was actually Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend with the swollen balls. Nicholas Minaj was on the island being like... Oh my God. The whole...

Just the best story of the year. The whole thing is wild. Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's got swollen balls and the whole world knows about it. And now the right, the extreme, the anti-vaxxers have started jumping on this as well as a chance to say, see. Oh, my God. The swollen balls thing.

Yeah. It's wild. You've got an STI, buddy. That's why she left you. On another note, though, if you are still looking for a vaccine, plenty available. And you can use the Book My Vaccine website to find out the availability for appointments.

And there are so many appointments in Auckland that are just drive up. You do not even need to book. Yeah. So let's all get onto that because. I got mine done, was it a week ago today? Mm-hmm. Look at me. How are your balls?

The same pathetic shriveled mess they were this time last week. The same embarrassing. I mean, you asked. I asked, yeah, I asked. Slowly sagging. Okay. 40 next year. Disgusting shambles of a scrotum it was last week.

ZM's Fleshborn and Megan.