ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 18th August 2020

Episode Date: August 17, 2020

Casino in Trouble  Bluff or Stuff: Satisfyer Pro 2  Megans Mailbox: Episode 3  What got stuck inside you?  Anna at the Skatepark  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's brought to you by McCafé. Grab yourself a delicious barista-made coffee for only $4 at McCafé. And podcast listeners will be well aware that we have issues, long-running issues with the air conditioning. You two do. Huge inconsistencies with the air conditioning. There's always temperature fluctuations. Up and down. Soundkeeper Gary, it's his domain. He has to log in to change it. Here's the deal.

It's usually fucking cold in here. And like you two. Oh, lately it's been tropicale. You two. Horrible. As soon as we have one day where it's like a little bit warm and it's bearable for me, you two. I get sweaty. I get very sweaty.

You two absolutely pack a sad. It's now the fall of my back is moisty. Mostly my moisture is an armpit moisture. Well, Executive Intern Anya, great news because you have access to the computer program that controls the aircon. Someone has reneged power. So previously all access was held by mail. So it's a great day for feminism. No glass ceiling here, my friends's a great day for feminism. Yes. No glass ceiling here, my friends.

Yes, down with the patriarchy. How did you approach this with Soundkeeper Gary? Because he holds his power very tightly. He does. I said, hey, mate, reckon I could have access to the elusive aircon system. Explain this. Okay, yeah, go on.

I want to hear more about this system though. I said we've got some moaning this morning and it seems silly having to email you at ten past six to please adjust it. No, Anya. It was temperature inquiries. I know, but you have to specify that it's not from me. I always get lumped in with things too. A couple moaners.

So Megan and Vaughn. I think he knows who I was referring to. Even Mountie agreed. Mountie said it was hot. And she doesn't usually feel the heat in the studio. You were right, it was subtropical. You could grow a monstera in here.

It's pretty hot. Yeah. Thank you, Mountie. So he's given you the password. So this is computer control. Yeah, so he said, yeah, F word. Here you go. Well, he gave that up pretty easily, to be honest.

And then, I mean, this is like probably my 18th email to him. I don't think he would have given that to you if he wasn't home isolating. I reckon if he was still in the office, he'd come in and do it. Oh, yeah, he wouldn't want to. So I've got, it's a link, like it's a website where you control it. It's a website. It's a website, yeah, and it's got a special login. It logs you out after five minutes.

That's my biggest beef with it so far. I remember as a kid seeing this on Beyond 2000, they were like, one day, office workers will be able to... No way. Not even Beyond 2000 can predict internet-based air conditioning. But you can beep up what temperature you want. But here's the thing.

Let's put some heat on Hosking. Hang on. Here's the thing. No, put some heat on Hosking. Hang on. Here's the thing. No, I only have controls for in here and out here. Oh, damn it. Here's the thing. Okay. You have to type a reason

when you change the temperature. Fucking cold? Who does it go to? Fucking hot? Who does it go to? It says, what do you want to change it to? What is your reason? Bit chilly.

It's too fucking hot. want to change it to? What is your reason? Bit chilly. It's too fucking hot. Can you please write that? Does it go somewhere and then someone reads it and goes, okay. Yeah, but then does it change it or does the person that sees that have to change it? I don't know. Should we try it? Is it AI? I want to be friendly.

I don't want to. Okay, so we want to go down. It's currently 21. Should we try it? And then Mountie said, I think you can only go down a degree. Apparently that's kosher. Just right.

Boy, it's cold. That's not kosher. Let's go to 20 and then reason, right, it's fucking too warm. What is the temperature on now, did you say? Use a harsh word. 21. I'm saying it's too flippin' warm.

Can we go to 20.5? No, that's only half degree. You're not going to notice that. No, you'll notice. You want to go to 20.5? No, that's only half degree. You're not going to notice that. No, you'll notice. You want to go to 20.5? No, 20.2. You tell the ocean or wouldn't notice a 0.5 degree change. Sweet Jesus. I'm happy to freeze my tits off if it shuts these two up.

Honestly, it's a gamble. Now, is there a timer? It's easy to get warmer. It's hard to get colder. Is there a timer for six? Because I feel that at six, Vaughan and I felt a cold breeze. Well, that might be in the advanced back-end settings. Advanced back-end settings!

No, it's not the interface I have. I have, like, aircon for dum-dums. I don't know how to get back in there. This is great news. This is power to the people. This is what happens when you're asked. How long do you think we have to wait for a response from AI? I don't know.

It looks like it's accepted it. Anyone noticing a difference? That little flicky is blowing. It's been blowing all morning. There's a confetti strip caught in there from a previous confetti explosion. It looks to be shaking more. Yeah. Oh, no.

Why would it be shaking more because you've turned the temperature down? Because it needs to step it up I definitely feel it's colder I'm feeling colder now Can you please put it down to 10? No, and we'll see how cold it gets I can't abuse his power I'll never get a bed

And the reason, put penguins In studio penguins Give us the log on, I'll do it Alright, enjoy the podcast. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch Warner Megan. You've got a stiff neck there, mate. I was just sitting a bit funny for a little bit. No, just stood up, sat up, a little bit of a pinch, a little bit of a roll.

That's physiotherapy this morning. Ready to go. It's hot in here. I feel like it's warm in here. Don't start this. I'm going to snuck up again. Don't start this. Is this the moment to snuck up again?

Executive tonight has rolled her eyes at you. Is this the moment to snuck up again? It is, though. How are you wearing a woolen coat? Also, yeah, she's wearing a coat. I'm wearing a jacket. Where it's good. It's a good temperature.

It's good. Quit your whinging. Take your hat off. I don't know. I did. Now I might take my shirt off. No. Someone get me a singlet.

A hot tuna. A hot tuna singlet. We've got the top six coming up on the show. Yep. What was it again? You've forgotten, haven't you? Oh, yeah. A house plant sold for $8,000.

Can you believe that? That's so silly. It's one of those fancy ones, though, eh? I remember this has happened before. No, it wasn't. Last time, wasn't it a Monstera? A Monstera, yeah. A Monstera for fives? What are the other ones? Habibis.

You got your Habibis, you got your Rhododendrons, you got your Camellias, you got your Agapanthus. You got your... What's the other one that's a little bit like an Agapanthus? Why do people spend so much? Is it so they can breed them? I think so.

Some of them take ages to grow too. Once you buy a big one, you've got it. $8,000. Yeah. I reckon I could kill that in like two or three weeks. Well, I've got the top six features that a $1 plant can do just as well

as an $8,000 plant. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. The Sydney Casino, I don't know, how many casinos has Sydney got? The Star Casino. I think it's just got the one, doesn't it? That's the big one. The big one, yeah. That's the big one.

Darling Harbour? Yep, that's where it is, yep. That has been fine multiple times. One $60,000 fine and two $15,000. So a total of $90,000. There was an investigation that discovered that three underage people were found gambling on separate occasions. So not all three went in at once. Is it because it's 20 here, isn't it?

Always forget that. For gambling. Yeah. And what is it in Aussie? I don't know but these were like teenagers so maybe the same

20 or 21 I can't remember when you can get a scratch here at 16 is it still it's 18 now eh I don't know what the legal age

for instant kiwis is it might be 16 I don't know that's interesting I'll have a look it's 18 I have a little scratch I swear it used to be 16, right?

I think it did, yeah. Yeah. Maybe it did. God, you finished school. All the rules are just a bit more lax. Do a crossword. Your mum will be like, got any homework? You're like, yeah, I've got to scratch this crossword.

It's called learning, mum. Read that letter. Identify that letter in other places on this crossword. Right. Well, two of them were older teenagers. Those were the $15,000 fines. However, a 12-year-old was the youngest one. Who played the pokies for 17 minutes, made 21 bets,

and was actually snuck in by their mum through an emergency exit. Oh, mate, that's actually sad. And then what? Was forced to play by the mum or did he just have some cash and was like, well I'll just play the poker. Not forced to play but mum sat, mum watched on. So maybe mum was, it was a way

of mum being able to be on her two favourite machines at once. So 18 is the age for Cassies in Australia. Right. 21 bets. No word would have known if the kid made any money but it wasn't until the family was leaving that security were like,

how old is this child? And found out that they shouldn't have been on the casino floor and they'd been, and then they did the investigation on the security cameras and found they'd been

snuck in through the emergency exit. Was it a whole family or was it just the mum and the son? No, it was more than that. Yeah, it was more than that. Yeah, it was more than that. And also, it wasn't a son. It was a daughter.

Right, okay. A 12-year-old daughter, yeah. So the casino apparently were fine because upon reviewing of the security camera, there would have been times where someone who worked at the casino would have spotted the 12-year-old and they didn't take active measures. But the parents don't seem to have gotten any trouble. The parents snuck a child in an emergency exit to gamble. Yeah, and what, they can't be charged or they just haven't been?

They just haven't been. There's no word in the story I'm reading if they have been. The 17-year-old, he got in because he came in through a VIP entrance and they said they don't often check the ID of people coming in VIP. Like he would have come in with somebody or just tagged onto the back of a group of some high rollers that are well known to the casino. And because they're high rollers, they got their VIP card.

They just assumed everybody with them would have been of age. That is so bad. But the other teenager, he played 42 rounds of roulette and 22 hands of poker before being thrown out. So he knows what he's doing? Yeah.

Because I don't really know how to... The roulette's the red and black one, eh? The wheel. The wheel. Roulette's the wheel. Yeah. I'm always just like red or black. I don't know what the numbers and...

You put the numbers... You put your bet on the wheel. Yeah. I'm always just like red or black. I don't know what the numbers and... You put the numbers... You put your bet on the numbers. Yeah, right. And then if it lands on that number... But there's so many numbers, Vaughn. 36 to 1? Yeah, but that's where the odds are big. Oh, it's annoying.

It's annoying. Right. Just do red or black. It's easy. That's the easy one. That's the... Yeah, really? They're going to win or you're going to lose, eh?

ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. Well, there's been a rise in the impulsive purchase of pets during lockdown. Oh, guilty. This is me, guilty. Well, after the last lockdown,

I was like, maybe it is time to get a cat again. But that wasn't impulsive. It only took me two days to buy that. Is that impulsive? I don't know. I feel like I went from seeing a picture of it to being like, I need that in my life.

You're like, oh. In fact, it might have been less than two days. I think day one was emailing around people that had cats, and then day two was saying, yes, I have that one. Okay, that was impulsive, yeah. But I've had a cat before. I know what I'm getting myself into. Mate, you don't need to convince me.

Are you convincing yourself at this stage? What's the deal? Well, a quarter of people who bought lockdown dogs did less than two hours research. Whoa. I know, around 25% paid without having seen the dog in person or a video call.

Well, that's madness. Yes. What, so they'd seen a photo? Yeah, so they'd seen a photo. I'm guessing just buying it on Trade Me or online or whatever. I'd never thought of video calling. And they're like, right, put the laptop down in with the dogs and I'll pick the cutest one.

But don't you want to play with it for a second and see if like... Well, yeah, but we can't, can we? You can't play with it. You can't. So this study out of the UK, not New Zealand, but I'm imagining there would have been similar purchases during lockdown. But yeah, isn't that crazy?

I had considered getting another dog, but it's a lot of admin, isn't that crazy? I had considered getting another dog, but it's a lot of admin, isn't it? But you do need to do your research. Like, a cat's a cat, right? Let's be honest. I mean, there are different breeds of cats and you should, you know, obviously, if you're going to buy a...

Look into how much care each one takes. Exactly. If you haven't had one before, but especially a dog. Oh, yeah. Like, yeah. You've got to have the room for it. You've got to have the property for it. You've got to have the property for it.

Do you like the temperament? Yeah. Is it too big for your property? Can you exercise it enough? Yeah. Are you at home enough? And also 18% said they were unsure how they would look after their new pet after returning to work. That's rough.

So you're going to get a dog and you're going to be around the whole time. And then all of a sudden you're like, see you dog, back to work. That dog's going to be like, what happened here? It's going to tear up your house. Yeah, because I remember lockdown one, a lot of people saying, oh, my dog's going to find this really weird when I go back to work. Yeah, yeah, because you were around the whole time. The dog's like, this is great.

Yeah, and that's what experts have said. They're warning that pets may suffer from separation anxiety. Yeah, when you go back to work full time. Because when you leave the house, you're not supposed to go, see you later, see you, see you. And then when you arrive back, you're not supposed to go, see you later, see you, see you. And then when you arrive back, you're not supposed to be like, hello, hello. Why not?

Because when you leave, they get anxious. No one told me that. You're supposed to just leave and not make a big deal. And when you come back, not make a big deal. Have you not noticed that when your wife goes to the supermarket, she'll just disappear? And then she'll come back with the treats. I'm always amazed when she comes back.

I'm like, holy shit, she did come back again. One day she's not going to. I thought today was the day. Yeah, I assume it'll be one of the days when she takes the kids to the supermarket that she doesn't come back. If she's leaving the kids, it's a good sign. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And a suitcase. Yeah, well, what are you taking your suitcase to the supermarket for? Oh, the reusable bags are dirty. Oh, you're not. They're cool. They're cool. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast.

ZM. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Remember in January, just cast your mind back. Yeah. Don't talk about January. It was all right there, wasn't it, in January? We were just ignoring it with our SPF 15. A Monstera in Auckland sold for $5,000.

A Monstera pot plant. That's crazy. I was like, that's stupid. And do you know how excited Bev was? Because Bev's got a Monstera that's older than me. But that Monstera was like multicoloured, right? Yeah. Because mine's just a green one. But this one was green as well.

But it was massive, eh? Yeah, but it was green and yellow. Yeah, and it had the holes in the middle of the leaves. And I think, you know, what are holes in the middle of the leaves? That's what Monsteras have. It's a Swiss cheese plant. Oh, nah, not for me, mate. Nah, the Monstera that sold, I'm looking at it,

it was so huckery. It looked dead. But that was like the different colours all on one leaf. It looked like someone had spilled bleach on it and been like, oops. Quick, run it under water. But it wasn't. It was supposed to be like that. And it sold for just under $5,000.

And then there was a variegated, variegated, variegated? Bloody Maggie Barry when you're there, huh? Was it variegated? Variegated? Sure, that sounds pretty good.

That sounds way better than the words I was not saying. Hoia. Hoia, yeah. Hoia canosa compacta. I've got a hoia. It takes forever to grow. It's done nothing in the months that I've had it. It just sits there.

Really? That's why big ones get lots of money. Because they take so long to grow. Well, that sold for $6,500. Well, there's a new big dog on the block, and it's a philodendron minima. I've got philodendrons. A mini monstera.

Oh, no. $8,150. What the hell? Someone's paying $8,000 for a houseplant. They're obviously going to breed it, right? Graft it and breed it? You would think so. 62 people involved in the heated bidding war in the final hours of the auction.

It might be popular because it seems to have half the leaf is a light green and half the leaf is a dark green. So people must just be fizzing about that. You could go on a European haul. There's going to be very few people that will appreciate that too. That come over and you'll be like, that cost me eight grand. See, because I priced the 2010 Suzuki Swift. Because I looked at them and I was like, yeah, is it dying?

Yeah. Because it's different colours, isn't it? It doesn't look great. It does look cool though. Oh. But yeah, you're right, have a Suzuki Swift. Well, today's top six is the top six things a $1 plant can do just as well as an $8,000 plant.

Okay. Pick up a plant on special. Number six, change carbon dioxide to oxygen. That's something plants do. Yeah, true. And you could probably do your research and find a cheaper plant that did it better. Yeah.

Isn't sea algae better? So there you go. Get a tub and put some salt water in it and grow sea algae. It's not going to look as cool in your hipster apartment though, is it? Yeah. And true, you don't want to wake up one morning

and there's a bloody whale in your bucket eating your algae. Because he can smell is it? Yeah. And true, you don't want to wake up one morning and there's a bloody, a whale in your, in your bucket eating your algae. Because he can smell the algae. Yeah. That happens all the time. Yeah, like, who's at the door?

Hello? Hello? Oh yeah, man, you just have it, it's just in the, in the lounge. And then bloody Project Jonah come in

and chuck buckets of water over it. You're like, oh, not in the lounge. And then bloody Project Jonah come in and chuck buckets of water over it. You're like, oh, God. Not on the carpet. Drag it outside. Number five on the list of the top six things a $1 plant can do, just as well as an $8,000 plant, leave a mark on the floor under the pot. Oh, yeah. You've got to check that.

I know, even the tray, though. Sometimes if it's on carpet, it compresses the carpet or maybe, you know, gets moisture around it. I knew someone that was flatting and they just were in their apartment so long that it just rotted the carpet underneath the tray. Oh, my God. Because it kept watering and it just went straight through.

My mum had ferns growing up, two ferns and two massive pots. And I remember being old enough where she was finally like, you reckon you can lift that? Take it outside, it needs a water. And that's what she'd always do. And leave it out there for the day and then bring it back in. And when she finally got rid of them, just before they became fashionable again, she had

them for so long. And then you'd always be like, I can't see past the fern, it's blocking the TV. Mum would be like, well you move, the fern was here first. And she threw them out. The part under the thing, it rotted the carpet. It rotted the floorboards. Oh, my God.

It had been there for so long. Number four on the list of the top six things a $1 plant can do, just as well as an $8,000 plant, be easily over-watered. You're like, oh, it's going brown. I better water it some more. Better water it some more. Better water it some more. And it's dead. Yeah, it took me so long brown. I better water it some more. Better water it some more. Better water it some more. And it's dead.

Yeah, it took me so long to figure out that was too much water. It's a balance, eh? Hey, we learn. We do. Life's about learning. It's like all those people that were going to those dance parties in the mid-2000s that were on pingas and they were drinking too much water. Yeah, and drowning themselves.

Remember that? Yeah. That was an epidemic. Yeah, that was. Well, I think it happened like twice, but it was a great panic piece. Remember when the news would lead with panic pieces that weren't like actual pandemic panic pieces?

Yeah. I yearn for the days. I yearn for the days where one person in a younger demographic did something stupid and all of a sudden it's a massive problem for that generation. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six things a $1 plant can do just as well as an $8,000 plant. Fall over when a cat

tries to shit in the pot. Do they do that? Yeah, cats get up on the pot and they try to poo in it if they can't get to. Oh, cats suck. That's silly. Get a dog. Yeah, well, that's number two on the list of top six things a $1 plant can do just as well as an $8,000 plant. Be chewed

on by a dog. $1, $8,000. If it looks slightly chewable, a dog will have a nibble. Let me have a little. Yeah, cats do that too. A little nibble. Or a scratch. Because the leaf hangs and it might blow in the wind

and the animals are just like, well, now I have to tackle you. I've been left with no choice. And number one on the list of the top six things a $1 plant can do just as well as an $8,000 plant, die. Yeah. Because look, if coldy are being taken down by dirty boots, coldy, then this thing's doomed. There's absolutely no chance.

That is today's top six. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast, ZM. Oh, there is a new trend. It's a new challenge on TikTok. You think you can hurt my feelings. This is actually, I don't like feeling good about other people's misfortunes, but I mean, we're feeling pretty sensitive in lockdown.

And people are sharing themselves. It's not like people are sharing about other people. But you can scroll through and you're like, wow, my day's not that bad. Also using this song, which is, God, this is a great song. Would this be 10 years old? 2009, I just Googled when it was released.

LaRue. Wow. LaRue Bulletproof. So, yeah, this plays in the background, and they start by saying, you think you can hurt my feelings? And then go on to say, why, you can't hurt their feelings. I've got some here. Some of these are brilliant.

You think you can hurt my feelings? I dated a pro athlete. Yeah. You think you can hurt my feelings? I dated a pro athlete. Yeah. You think you can hurt my feelings? My boyfriend broke up with me and got married four days later. Four days later? That was happening while they were together. You think you can hurt my feelings?

My dad was a teacher at my high school, and he made it an extra credit assignment to ask me to prom, and nobody took him up on it. Oh, my God, that is brutal. Oh no. You think you can hurt my feelings? I was the face of every Government of Canada COVID-19 ad. He does not look impressed. Did they have a guy like...

I don't know. It's just a young dude. Right. You think you can hurt my feelings? He does not look impressed. Did they have a guy like... I don't know. It's just a young dude. Right. You think you can hurt my feelings? I'm named after something people step all over. Matt. Rug.

No one's called Rug. This is TikTok handles. Use a nickname as are you. Yeah. It is, I guess. This one really just... I mean, we can't go past this one. You think you could hurt my feelings? Lol, I donated my kidney to my boyfriend at the time and got cheated on seven months later.

Oh! Ass hole. He can't take that back. Give it back. Give it back. Give my back my kidney. Is this one legit? You can't hurt my feelings.

I'm Callie Ann Conway's daughter. It's had like two million views. You know Kellyanne Conway who's like the President Trump's right hand lady in the White House? Yeah. Well, I don't know. It looks like she's legit. Wow. It doesn't say, she doesn't have like Conway as her last name though.

Imagine hanging your mum's dry out like that. Yeah. But do you have one? I out like that. Yeah. But, do you have one? I don't know. Maybe just, I don't know. I can't think of one.

Well, that's good. Yeah. That's lucky. Just like, I was raised by my mum. I don't know. You can't hear my feelings.

I was raised by a boomer. We've heard it all before. Bluff or Stuff. Michaela, good morning. Good morning. All right. Welcome to Bluff or Stuff. Up for grabs is the Satisfyer Pro 2 in the box.

Next generation in the box. I can tell you the safety seal is still stuck fast. It has not been broken. Well, no, because I saw somebody playing with one in the office on a video. But that was another one. That was the one that brought it to work. Yeah. Look, it looks like someone's tried to get into it, though,

because the side of the box is a little bit ripped. Naughty. Now, Michaela, do you know how bluff or snuff works? Yes. Okay. All right. Well, one of us is holding the prize. You've just got to correctly identify which one of us is,

but we are all going to bluff and say that we are holding it. Vaughn, would you like to start? Seeing as you're not holding the box. I am holding it. We am the box. I am holding it. We am. Well, I'm holding it, so how can you be holding it? Well, we could both be holding it. Oh my God, do you know one day we should just do a joint?

I don't know because that's tricksy. That's tricksy, yeah. We should do which two people are holding it. And if you can guess the right two. You just have to eliminate one person. That will have to be another time though because I am holding it this week. On the back, there's a woman. We talked about this last week.

Yeah. Waving a flag of liberation. Yeah. With a bullseye on it. Because the, excuse me, I'm just joking up. I'm a little emotional about the Satisfyer Pro 2. Right. It always hits the mark, I think, is the poetry there.

Since you're looking at that picture of the woman on the box, what is on her socks? Flags. No. What do you mean no? I'm literally holding the box. It's not flags on her socks. It's little American flags.

It's not hearts either. It's little flowers, and I know that because It's not hearts either. It's little flowers. And I know that because I'm holding the box. Those aren't flowers. You can't see from here. Those are hearts. I'm showing you. Don't make up socks.

Absolutely flowers. Lie about socks. She's lying, Michaela. Do you have any questions, Michaela? Fletch, can you tell me what the barcode number is? Absolutely. 9468 1400787.

Oh. That sounded pretty confident. He could have just read out a bunch of numbers. It's 404 9369015030. It says Vaughan has had time to Google. I haven't had time to Google. It's 404-936-9015030. It says Vaughan has had time to Google. I haven't had time to Google.

I'm holding the box. She's not wearing any socks on the picture on the box for a start. She is wearing socks. They're socks. She's got purple strappy heels on and they've got little pink flowers. Now, Michaela, I'd like you to... Who wears socks with heels? Don't be fooled by this foolishness. Michaela, we'd like you to eliminate one of us.

Who's definitely not holding it? I'm going to go with Fletch. I'm going to eliminate Fletch. That hurts. That hurts. Bart, Michaela. That is correct. All right.

There was a lot of sevens in his barcode. Yeah. Seven, seven, nine, seven. Relied on his favourite number there. Seven. All I know is that if a product's made in New Zealand, the barcode starts with 94. Did you know that?

I did not know that. The first two. Because I actually work at Pack and Save, so we have a lot of barcodes covered. Really? But if it's made in another country, it'll start with that country's thingy. Oh, yeah, yeah. The thingy?

What else do you need to know? You've got two people left, Michaela. Okay, Michaela. If you want to know about the Satisfy Pro 2, ask me. I can tell you anything. Certified European. It's all open online. Michaela, who's holding it?

I think Megan is holding it. That is correct. Yay! Oh, there were flowers on the socks. There are flowers on her socks. How awesome. You knew that. Guys, hashtag gifted.

Thanks to Adult Toy Megastore. It's all yours. For the Satisfyer Pro 2. These things bloody flying out the door. Thank you. Heck yeah, lockdown, baby. Treat yourself. Fletch Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. Fletch Vaughan and Megan's Audio Ninja Warrior. I've got a lot of... You worry too much. We're just not happy. You worry too much. Vaughn's like, I've got this idea. And Megan and I are behind the scenes like,

how's this going to work, Vaughn? Who knows? I know, but I'm more chill about it. I'm willing to let him like crash and burn, whereas you're stressing. I'll just put it out there now, disclaimer. I think there'll be some work-ons for the next time.

Oh, 100%. There's always work-ons. Imagine nailing it the first time. That must be weird. What do you think, heart surgery went well for the heart surgeons the first time they went in there?

Oh my God. They cut it open, they're like, oh shit, hold on, it's bloody messy in here. I just thought it would just be sitting there. It's squirting blood everywhere.

God, what is this? I think that's a kidney. How'd that get up here? No one knows what they're doing the first time, baby. That's also why you didn't last long in med school. That's true. Okay, so Audio Ninja Warrior. How do you think this is going to work, Vaughn?

We get someone on the phone. Okay. I've got a list here of sound effects or obstacles. Okay. I will start the phone. I've got a list here of sound effects or obstacles. Okay. I will start the timer when I say go. I will give them the sound effect. Now, do you have a timer sound effect that I can play on air? Nah.

Put it on the list for next time. See, this is what I'm saying. Do we have a timer, Producer Jared, that we can maybe find? But they're going to be making sound effects. They don't have one of those on Ninja Warrior. Oh, don't they? No. They they're going to be making sound effects. They don't have one of those on Ninja Warrior. Oh, don't they? No. They just have the timer up in the corner.

But how's it going to be exciting for people listening at home? Well, they won't know the timing until the end. Like, if everyone gets to the end, I'll be like, that was exciting. And you'll all be like, who did best? And I'll know, so it will build the tension. Okay. Okay. Yep.

So, you know what? Cross-off timer. Don't need it. I think we need some kind of dramatic music at least. Well, you've got it. You've got dramatic music. You know, it starts again with more drama. It's really like, I'll go three, two, one.

Yeah. And maybe there's an ear horn sound effect. You don't have to worry about that. This is one of those brainstorms. Now I'm on board with an ear horn. Put that on the list. We should do off-air. I reckon it's important people know the process.

I think we need to... Let's meet our first contestant Hello What's your name? Vanessa The first contestant today On Audio Ninja Warrior Is Vanessa, she's 24 She's from Hastings

And she enjoys Rock climbing and abseiling without robes. Vanessa. Vanessa, how close is that to actually your age, your location and hobbies? No, I'm actually in Florida. It's kind, no, not near and near. Nowhere near. Nowhere near. Nowhere near.

Let's just roll with it. Are you ready? So what I'm going to do is I'm going to say three, two, one, go. I'm going to read the first sound effect. When I am happy, we will proceed. If you fail to do the sound effect, you will be eliminated from the competition. It's like you fell in the water under the thing on Ninja Warrior. And you are being timed.

You are being timed. All right, Teresa, Your time starts now. What? I said, Kareem, if I'm wrong, Vanessa, I said I'll count down and then you're trying to dominate me. All right. Classic. All right, ready?

Three, two, one, go. A farmyard animal. Proceed. A farmyard animal. Proceed. A siren. Good. Proceed. Switching on a light switch. Proceed.

A motorbike going past. A motorbike going past. Oh. No, that sounded like a jet set. You're not happy? I'm not happy. Hold on. Pause. Why are we pausing?

Pause the timer because you're not happy with it. We need to make a decision here whether or not she gets to proceed. I think we'll need another sound effect of a motorcycle driving past. That sounded like a Jetson spacecraft. Okay. Okay. Vaughn, unpause the timer. Unpause.

And a motorbike going past. Oh, that was good. That was really good. Proceed. A sizzling pan. What was that? I said a sizzling pan. Pause the timer.

Pause the timer. I'm not happy with that sizzle. You're not happy with that? Okay, we can't. I don't like the sizzle. You're saying she didn't make it through the final obstacle. That didn't sound like a sizzle to me. I'm happy with the sizzle.

I'm sorry, but you've been eliminated at this stage of Audio Ninja Warrior. All good. Oh, it's not, though, is it? But then what if everybody gets eliminated? She got the, well, it depends. She got the furthest. Okay, so stay there. You're not done yet.

Stay there, Vanessa. All hope is not lost. All right, let's go to Hannah. Good morning, Hannah. Good morning. Welcome to Audio Ninja Warrior. It was Vanessa Ray, the first one. Yeah. Okay, we're just going to write her time. It was Vanessa Ray the first one. Okay, I'm just going to write her time next to the obstacle she got up to.

Okay. All right, I'm resetting my timer. Are you ready, Hannah? Three, two, one. A farmyard animal. A siren. Yep, proceed. Switching on a light switch.

Yep. Well, that was really good. Proceed. A motorbike going past. I'm just going to pause there again. I'm going to pause there. Another Jetson. That sounded very spacey. Proceed or eliminate.

I was happy to proceed. Proceed. Proceed. We need another one. A motorbike going past. Wait, wait, wait. It started as a motorcycle and ended in a spacecraft. Yeah.

Elimination. That's a hybrid. It's a hybrid. No, I'm not happy. Okay. She's in the water. Anna, out. No, I'm not happy. Okay. She's in the water. Anna, out. Oh, no. Not getting as far as

Vanessa, but in less time. Jamie, welcome to Audio Ninja Warrior. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Are you ready for the obstacle course? I am. Three, two, one. A farmyard animal. Pause. What was that? Was that an elephant?

What was that? It was a distorted cow. A distorted cow. A cow. Proceed. Proceed. A siren. Pause.

Now, is that the cow being a siren? The cow making a siren. I'm sorry, but no. You're out. He's out. He's out. Jamie's hit the water. Not as easy as everybody thinks out there on the Audio Ninja Warrior course,

which means the person that got the furthest through today is Vanessa. Yes, fantastic. Do we still have Vanessa? No, the producers hung up on her because they didn't think you needed her again. I distinctly said she still could win. Put that on the list. She's there. Apparently she's there.

Vanessa. Fantastic work from having you there. You fell in at the final hurdle, but congratulations. You're today's winner of Audio Ninja Warrior. What? Okay, this competition has it all, doesn't it? Surprise. Confusion.

Confusion. Weird cows. Unsureness. The unknown. Siren cows. It's all here. Join us next time on Audio Ninja Warrior. I've done it.

What? She's got no idea she's won, even though we called her back. Oh, my gosh. What? Did you not catch the bit before? I didn't know. I just realised. I just won.

No, you were right. This is as unorganised as warms. No, this is as chaotic as Ninja Warrior is. I love it. I love it. The favourites are knocked out early. Vanessa, congratulations. The inaugural winner. Is that the first? Inaugural Warrior is. I love it. The favourites are knocked out early. Vanessa, congratulations. The inaugural winner.

Is that the first? Inaugural? Yeah, I think so. Of Audio Ninja Warrior. Congratulations. Have you got a prize for him? I'll put that on my to work on list along with the air horn. Prize.

All right, next on the show. If you would like to sponsor Audio Ninja Warrior, we can do that. Obviously, this would be... It'd be good for an audio place. Huh? Or like a sound effects company. No, like people that do headphones or something. Yeah.

Good synergy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because this is a really good sale. Or just like an extreme energy drink. Yep, yep. I think we could really do some synergy. Okay. Great. ZM's could really do some synergy. Okay. Great.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Gen Zers and Millennials get the stereotype that they're glued to their phone. You're always on their phone. Look up, would ya?

Like, get it out of your hand. Look up. You're getting a, there was even that story about them getting like an extra little crick in their neck or something. Or we're evolving

to have like funny necks because we're always looking down at our screen. Well no that is a problem if you talk to physios and chiropractors are they the necky people? They're the cracky ones. Yeah. Are they the cracky ones? No we are because it's as awesome as the cracky ones.

But yeah we are we're looking down at our screen so much that yeah we're really hurting ourselves. Well, there's been a study, and this is worldwide. I've got New Zealand stats for you, that has focused on Gen Zers. They are actually not glued to their phones and devices as much as people think they are. So, born between 95 and 2015. So, currently between 5 and 25.

This one's focusing on 18 to 24 year olds. Older ones that would be on social media. Yeah. So in New Zealand, almost a quarter of these 18 to 24 year olds have switched off social media in the past year. Wow. For forever? Or they've just been like, I'm just going to take a month break. I don't know.

You would assume kind of indefinitely. 39% are limiting their time on their mobile phones, mobile devices. 39%. And a quarter of Gen Zers in New Zealand have deactivated our social media account in the last year. And that is much higher. The global average is 17%. Here, it's a quarter.

Wow, okay. Then nearly half believe that social media is having a negative impact on political discourse in New Zealand. And nearly half believe that their personal use of their phones and social media has a negative impact on their health and wellbeing. It's so bad. We all know it's bad for us, but we all still do it.

But that's why I'm so proud of them because they know it's bad for them. So they're like, no, I'm going to take the step to look after myself and I'm going to actually turn it off. Sounds to me like they can't get their TikTok dance right. That must suck. Well, I think TikTok is the one that's actually bucking the trend. Yeah, and do you think people would class that as a social media?

No, because people can't, unless you're uploading videos, people can't like comment on you. Thankfully, the worst part about it is it's getting all your details to the Chinese government. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll worry about that later. Especially when I go to China

when this whole thing's over. I'll worry about this when I'm touching down in Shanghai. Yeah, I'm not going there for ages. Like, I know that for a fact because, you know, no one's going anywhere, so whatever.

Come get me. Don't. Don't come get me. Don't. Don't come get me. Don't come get me. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Megan's mailbox.

Megan's mailbox. When she moved in, she ran it down. So Fletch and Vaughan are helping to get her a new mailbox. She specifically asked for this segment not to be called Megan's Box. Not going to lie, the best part about this segment is that. Oh, that's nice of you. You're singing. It doesn't ever rhyme.

I mean, at least she goes out and makes it rhyme. Megan moved into her new place and ruined the mailbox. Reversing over. A little bit run over. Now, today's mailbox option will be up against the microwave, which was voted ahead of the empty computer box. You ejected the CD-ROM drive and you can put the mail in there. Yeah, there's pros and cons to both.

Both very difficult to open. Man, can you stink in there? That might need an airing out now. I think if you leave your ASOS packages in there, it'll permeate through the plastic wrapping into the clothing. Well, that's leading at this stage. Today, though, we have a new option for your mailbox, the last option. Okay.

It's almost as tall as me. Yeah, it's a tall. Once it's on the stand, yeah. So just a few words. Shall I give it a wee feel? Yeah, reverse it. Tablecloth. I can feel it already.

It's plastic. Why are you making that face? Weatherproof. Oh, cool. Oh, yeah. The number's on crooked, isn't it? Oh, yeah. I didn't do that.

This is a plastic rubbish bin. It's a mini wheelie bin. It's a mini wheelie bin. It is a mini wheelie bin. It's really, they're really, really cute. It's almost Tiffany Blue. I don't know what that is. That's what we, yeah, remember? I said to you.

I was going for Duck Egg Blue and Fletch did say to me, that's Tiffany Blue right there. Yeah, it's Tiffany Blue. Megan loves a Tiffany Blue. I mean, if I had to pick one, I think that that's quite cute. Easy, accessible. I'm not going to get tetanus.

I can get lots of packages in there. Waterproof, because I've got one like that. It was for the kids' toys, but I've stolen it for like barbecue stuff. And they are really quite waterproof. Are the wheels functional? Yep. But then we'll secure it to the post if it wins. And you know, I reckon

nah, because if you put something like a little hole, a little access hole on the back, you're going to lose your integrity. We could put a flap over that though. Stop the rain getting in. Are people going to do that thing though where I said it's my favourite, so they're going to vote for the one that's not my favourite? I think the microwave.

You just don't trust anybody. People will ruin this for me. Well, you can vote online FBMZM. I like that one. It's cute. It looks really good. It's the cutest, but the microwave's the funniest. It would be so confusing for the rubbish bin guys when they come to do the bin day and they're like What if they empty my ice house package into the

rubbish? No, we'll secure it to the post. There'll be none of that. Okay. All right, we can vote online. Megan's mailbox, Megan's mailbox. When she moved in, she ran it down, down, down, down. So Fletch and Vaughn are helping to get her a new mailbox. She specifically asked for this segment not to be called Megan's Box.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan, the podcast. A young man got a Lego piece. I think it was the arm of a Lego man out of his nose after an estimated two years. It was a sneeze that dislodged the Lego arm. Did he? How did it get up there? He sniffed it. Never sniff a Lego man. And the arm shot up there.

I don't know if the arm was taken off. So they knew it was up there. He knew it was up there, but he thought it must have come out. But then a sneeze and it came out, and they were like, whoa. That was like two years ago we lost that Lego man's arm. Been up there for a little while. How old was the kid? Seven.

Because you're allowed to play with Lego as a seven. Isn't there like a small bits? Was he five when it went up or seven when it went up? It's five when it went up. Seven. Because you're allowed to play with Lego as a seven. Isn't there like a small bits? Was he five when it went up or seven when it went up? Yeah, it's five when it went up. Seven now. Right. What about when you sniff? It would have been there.

He would have been able to feel it. But you know when you're a kid, you freak out. You're just like, leave it. Or don't stop touching it. It would have bled once and he would have been like, well, that's it. I'm going to die if I do that again. Was the Lego man holding anything?

Like it wasn't a Lego man with a cup or something like that. No, it was just the arm. Just the arm of the Lego man. It was just the amputated arm of a Lego man. Right. Right up there. But yeah, Lego up the nose. I remember snorting a vitamin C tablet when I was a kid because I always really liked

how they tasted. I was like, I wonder if they smell and I was holding it in like a pinch and I went and it just went up and I was like. The whole if they smell and I was holding it in like a pinch and I went, and it just went up and I was like, the whole pill. Yeah. You didn't crush it up? No.

I wasn't doing lines of vitamin C. Mum was like, take your vitamin C and I bet her my brother, I'll meet you at the bench. I don't know, I'll get my,

I'll get my teenage Ninja Turtle membership card out. This is the best time of the day. Take that, cold and flu. That wasn't what happened. Yeah. No, I just was just sniffing and I went,

and I could taste it for days. I don't know if it broke down until it was a slow dissolve or what, but again, I didn't want to get in trouble, so I didn't tell anybody. Right. This is what I want to ask this morning. And this may lead to some trouble. What did you get stuck in you? Yeah, right.

Like, you've just raised a story. A vitamin C pill. A whole pill. Yeah, that happens lots when you're a kid, right? Or an adult. Yeah. Less so. Yeah, you sniff things, you might like pop a little something in the air.

Oh, I imagine losing something down your ear. I lost, it came out really quick, but like a Q-tip, like a cotton, the end came off. You're not supposed to put those in your ear. The little cottony bit? Nah, you're definitely not supposed to. No, you're definitely not. God, is there anything better than getting it warm

and like rubbing the top of the ear canal with it? Nah, that's good stuff. A little internal scratch. Okay, so I don't know if anybody can beat a vitamin C pill up the nose or a Lego man's arm, but 0800-DARLS800-966-9696 to text in. What have you had stuck in you?

I feel like you're poking the bear here. Well, this is why the producers... Or you're poking the eel up your bum. This is why the producers screen the calls. We can be grown up about this. These things happen. Are we taking calls from radiologists? Sounds like they've seen some things.

No, there's... What do they call it? Patient confidentiality. We'd have to say their name. Yeah, I mean, sure. Absolutely, we'll take calls from radiologists. Well, we are asking the question after a five-year-old, now eight. Seven. Seven.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sneezed out a Lego man's arm. Had it stuck up his nose. For two years. Two years. So, asking the question Lego man's arm. Had it stuck up his nose. For two years. Two years. So asking the question this morning, what have you had stuck in you? Wow, it is insane. Some texts.

My son was playing secret agents with his sister, and he put a piece of bark in his ear as his secret agent earpiece. It got stuck in his ear, couldn't get it out, neither could the doctor, headed to the emergency department. We were getting to the point where they thought they may need to do an operation. Luckily, someone in the ED managed to retrieve it with a good pair of tweezers.

Wow. Thomas, what did you get stuck in you? Hey, you guys will love this one. Basically, when I was younger, I got a toffee pop stuck in my mouth. Like, I couldn't close my mouth. Like in a wedge. Thomas, you know you mean to eat them in bites.

And sideways, not like a full round. So you got it in past the teeth, but then the teeth stopped it from twisting or getting back out. No, I put it in vertically, and so I couldn't shut my mouth, and it was just stuck. I was in pain, man. Well, I mean, at least you could still breathe, right? Yeah.

How long was it in there for before someone broke it in half or got it out? I mean, for me, it felt like a lifetime, but reality is probably just like one or two minutes. But I was crying by the end of it. I can tell you that for sure. Do you eat Toffee Pops now, Thomas? I love Toffee Pops. Okay.

Of course you do, buddy. Oh, that's so cute. Thomas, thank you. Conrad, what did you get stuck in you? Yeah, you know, mate, got a moss flew into my ear hole. My dad had this when we were kids. It was horrible. I hate moss.

And then you can hear it. Oh, they flap around. They're right against your eardrum. We ended up having to drown it with oil. Yes. And to make it stop. And then, yeah, had to go to the doctor the next day to flush it out. You have to use mum's good olive oil.

The cooking stuff. You use some canola, wouldn't you? Use your junk oil. You know how you're pouring her lovely olive oil? Thanks, Conrad. All right, keep your tics coming in. Some amazing stories. We'll get to more of those next.

So a boy sneezed out a piece of Lego, a Lego man's arm. Been up his nose for two years and we asked the question before what have you had stuck in you? It's our fault. It's been enlightening, hasn't it? It's our fault we asked the question. Where do you want to start, Vaughn?

Start with some text messages. My son sniffed a screw, don't know why to this very day, the screw went up his nose and lodged itself sideways. Oh, so sweet. Oh, no. A screw. So that's got a sharp end on it.

That's good. That's fun. My mum just rung me to remind me when I was younger I stuck a raisin up my nose on three different times with three different raisins. First time she got it out.

Second time her friend got it out. But third time, it really got up there and I had to go to the doctor. I think I remember putting raisins up just the end of my nose for fun and then you'd laugh and you'd go, and it goes up. I shoved a small ruby up my nose at school. Who's got rubies at school?

Yeah. And then when mum came to pick me up from school, I was just about to tell her because I didn't want to tell anybody but mum and I sneezed it out just as she arrived. I was like, fuel problem solved. My daughter, who was three and a half at the time, I took her to the doctor because she said she had an earache.

He said, oh, it's her grommet dislodging. I said, she's never had grommets. She had stuck a BB gun bullet in her ear. Why? So then we had to get it removed and they said, oh, we won't put her under. We'll just give her laughing gas. And it was still one of my happiest memories. The child makes those very, very happy.

Sarah, what did you get stuck in you? I got luncheon meat stuck up my nose. How did that come about? You were having a sniff. Yeah, I was just having, like, my little lunch. I was having a snack. me suck up my nose. How did that come about? You were having a sniff? Yeah, I was just having my little lunch. I was having a snack. And I was like, oh, it tastes good.

I wonder if it smells as good as it tastes. And yeah, went to go for a good old sniff and went right up. And I freaked out and didn't tell my mum for about two hours. So this was when you were a kid? Yeah. No, I did it last week. No, it was when I was a kid. I was going to say, because an adult having lunch in sandwiches.

Because it's only kids who have lunch. I'd never live it down. I'd have to move, I think. Brilliant. Hey, Sarah, thanks for your call. No worries. We didn't know. Did it come out? We had to dig around. It was burning, though. It, Sarah, thanks for your call. No worries. We didn't know. Did it come out? Oh, we had to dig around.

It was burning, though. It, like, burned. Yeah, it was bizarre. Oh, kids, don't snort luncheon. Yeah, the nasal cavity is actually highly sensitive to luncheon. It's a processed meat, it turns out. Sarah, thanks for your call. Kylie, what did you get stuck in you?

Okay, it's a little bit strange, but it's still there many, many, many years on. I got pencil lead in my leg. It's still... Like an HB5 or whatever. Why isn't it out? I don't know. It kind of festered at the time. I tried squeezing it out, but I was only like 9 or 10, and it never came out.

Wait, Kylie, it's still in there now. How old are you? 43. It's part of you. Did you accidentally, like, stab yourself or something? No, I was sharpening pencils, being a good wee girl doing things and it was on the carpet and I leant on it.

Yeah, in between your knee and it jammed in there. And of course, I didn't tell anybody. I just thought, oh, that doesn't look good. And then when you look at it, it's this little weird piece of black stuff that sort of floats around

and I can squish it with my finger. Oh my God. I feel like you need to get that out. Like lead poisoning, Kylie. Have you heard of that? Yeah, I know.

I know. It is a bit odd, but it just sort of sits there and I just forget about it. Then at summertime, I go, oh, there it is. Wow. Wow. Amazing. Kylie, thanks for your call.

Vanessa, what did you get stuck in you? I got a toy cat bottle stuck down my throat. Vanessa, how? That's terrifying. Were you opening that with your mouth? No, so it was my birthday and I was around at my brother's flat

and I poured my toy drink into a glass. Yeah. Because you're classy. You're a classy lady, Vanessa. Price to be. Yeah. And everyone, because it was my birthday, they were throwing the caps into my drink. And then I walked around and I sat back down and they were like, scowl, scowl, scowl.

So I scowled it, not realising that there was a cat in there. And yeah, it got stuck. Are they the ones with the trivia? Like could somebody have opened your mouth and been like, what is the capital of Australia? Yeah. Canberra. Hey, Vanessa, thanks for your call.

Some other text messages. My auntie stuck eight peanuts up one nostril. And it knows when she was five because she wanted to see how many she could put up there. She had to go to the doctors to remove them. But at least she had an official tally. There's a lot of little things saying eight peanuts. My three-year-old and his friend thought it would be great if they used to put lentils in their ears at daycare. Oh, no.

When I was a kid, my mum sat me down with pots and pans and macaroni elbows. So, of course, I stuck those up my nose and I could breathe through them because they were elbows. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then if they get wet, they swell, don't they? Yeah. But yeah, I had to get them removed in the end. Yep. Those are the ones

we can read out. Yep. I stupidly swallowed a rubber spider when I was a kid. Took 36 hours to work its way out the other end. Itsy bitsy spider. They say they can still remember feeling the rubber legs on the way out. Blech. Flesh Fauna Megan, the podcast, ZM.

So Megan, as a toy boy, I've moved into a new place and the unpacking was kind of like happening and you said, nobody can come around until I'm all unpacked. I need the house how I want it. And then we went into level three lockdown. And so we haven't been around, but we were talking about

the area of her house. And that was when Executive Intern Anya pipes in with, there's a lovely skate park nearby. And we all, that is what happened. There was a silence. And then a little bit of laughing started. And I was like, skate park?

What's going on with the skate park? Now let's reenact what happened. Oh my God. Skate park. What are you doing at a skate park? My boyfriend Andy likes to play on it. That was the best part because she didn't say skate. She said play.

Yeah. And we said, well, why do you go? Well, sometimes I like to lie in the sunshine and sometimes I like to sit in my car. And wait while he plays on the skate park. Like a mum. I hate you. I hate all three of you.

Why did you say like a mum? I would share this in confidence between friends. Mum, can I go to the skate park, please? Please. Oh, for God's yes, get in the car. We're not going to be there for long, though. I've only got one woman's weekly still to read. Do you ever, like, hurry him up?

Sometimes. Oh, yeah. Does he go like this? Wind down the window. Five minutes. Five minutes, please. And then we've got to go. I've got to put on dinner.

You are the worst. No, it's a nice thing for then we've got to go. I've got to put on dinner. You are the worst. No, it's a nice thing for the two of us to do, you know. I don't want to join him in skating, but I'm, like, there with him in spirit. Is he ever like, hey, watch me. Watch me do this. Watch me. Mum, I did an ollie. Look, mum.

Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Are you watching? Look, I did an ollie. Look, mum. Watch this, watch this. Watch this. Are you watching? Look, sometimes I like to TikTok. I've got my latte. It's a great little set up. You're listening to the breeze.

You're doing a couple of Sudokus. It's great. I've got no interest in skating, but we're hanging out. We're spending time together. We're just like 40 metres apart. And I'm like, yay, good one. Does he ever come over and you go like, the window up because it's a cold day

and he's like, you're like, I fell over and hurt myself. I've got a bleeding on my knee. We've got a first aid kit and a couple of these. I've always got plasters in my handbag. Of course you do. Of course you do.

As you come back, he's like, I'm real puffed here. You've got a drink for me? And then he goes. Thank you. Well, you're thirsty, aren't you? Okay. I'm going to go back out there, my friends.

I'm going to go do a job. And I say, slow down your choke. There's a piece of fruit in the back seat. You know what happens when you drink too fast? You get the coughs. It's cool, guys. It's not a mum-son relationship. It's a cool dude and cool dudette relationship.

Okay? Because he's all, I'm cool dudette relationship. Okay? I'm ready to go now. Do you think we can get a nice block on the road? There is a dairy just down from the skate park. Love a dairy. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Loves a dairy. Don't love dairies. Side note, this happened in the kitchen yesterday. I don't know why, but in my head, I feel like you give us a lot of reviews of dairies. I don't. Like you just like, I popped down to the dairy or I stopped at that dairy. In my head, you're always telling me about dairies.

And then when I voiced this yesterday, I think it resonated. I think everybody else is like, maybe, like when we went to the supermarket, you're like, just pop to the dairy. Oh, my God. I think I need to do dairy reviews. Like, good lolly selection. Four stars. Bread centrally located.

Yep. Milk options, not just Dairydale. I hate you. You're actually the word. Unless I know. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. Now, just before we do a deep dive into your mum.

Oh, Vaughan. We do need to deal with Sandy Gate. Last time we did, I bet I can guess your mum's name. Well, it's known around here as Sandy Gate. Yeah. Because what happened was, Executive Intern Anya gets the name of the mum beforehand so that no one can change it up. Yeah.

You know, like we would confirm. She locks in the mum's name. She was told that mum's name was Sandy. However, mum's birth name, like birth certificate, was Sandra. Yeah. Now, I guessed Sandra. Yes. And then at the end, there was talk about whether or not it was Sandy or Sandra.

Yeah. Now, it was Sandra. Also, the caller was of the belief that they got $100 if I didn't guess their mum's name. Yeah, so she didn't say, stop, that's my mum's name. Yeah, she was reluctant to be like, yeah, it's Sandra, Sandy for short, or Sandy's her nickname. Yeah. So we got, man, I heard it from so many people that are like so angry.

Your streak's over because of that. Like she said Sandra and Sandy. streak's over because of that. Like, she said Sandra and Sandance. There was a lot of confusion. So I'm counting as it a win. Okay. The person doesn't get $100, so the company is counting as it a win. Yep. It's wins across the board.

But the streak continues. This may go to the high court if she wants her $100. Oh, we'll fight her. Tooth and nail, mate. How much is a lawyer per hour? All of it. Way more than that. It's a principle. We'll fight her. Tooth and nail, mate. How much is a lawyer per hour? All of it. Way more than that. It's a principle.

We'll pay that. We'll take this all the way. Yeah. Well, anyway, that's how the game works. Joining us on the phone this morning, Danielle, good morning. Hey, guys. All right, so you get $100 cash if Vaughan can guess your mum's name within 15 seconds. Now, he will ask five questions to establish your mum's name.

First, Vaughan, your questions. First of all, good morning. Amen. Good morning, Danielle. Has mum ever shared a fake Facebook competition? Yes. All the time.

Oh no, she's missed multiple occasions. Because how's your mum after you talked her through that last one last week? Oh, embarrassed. She's good, though. She learned her lesson. That wasn't, she still swears she didn't click it. Linnell shared it. It's Linnell's fault.

It was Linnell's fault. But no, that wasn't a competition. That was a click here to see who's been looking at your Facebook profile. Which is also right up my mum's alley. Like, I do think, deep down. Yeah. She clicked. She clicked.

She clicked. Of course she did. Just writing down a couple of names of my mum's friends who have definitely... Is Linnell on there? I'll add it. I don't know how to spell it. I've only ever said it.

Interesting. I'm just writing down a couple more of... I mean, I could go all day writing down mums that share that sort of stuff. Okay. Does mum have like a go-to saying? Does she have a phrase, a catchphrase? Something she says regularly?

Yeah, she does. It's like a way, yeah, she does. Is that, hold on, just you seem reluctant to say it. If it's sort of racially based, we don't have to. Or swearing. I'll just pop you seem reluctant to say it, if it's sort of racially based, we don't have to. Or swearing. I'll just pop you on hold if our producer,

Arnie, is going to run a check there. Before we air that potentially offensive... We'd like to run a certain amount of quality control on the show. She looks puzzled. Oh, yeah, no, she's getting a nod. That's fine, that's fine. So now if it is insensitive, we can cancel Anya over that. So what's her go-to saying, Danielle?

Oh, dear, I wasn't sure, but she always just says, before she starts any sentence or just anything that's not even relevant to the stage, she always says, you wouldn't believe it, girl. You wouldn't believe it. And I'm just like, there's nothing to believe. Yeah, right. You wouldn't believe it, girl. You wouldn't believe it. That was fine. like, it has, there's nothing to believe. Yeah, right. You wouldn't believe it, girl.

You wouldn't believe it. Yeah. That was fine. We were really worried there, didn't we? No. We should have trusted you. Okay.

All right. We've trusted before and we've been burnt. Does mum play any sports? No. Has she ever played any sports? Never been a sports girl? I hear all the time.

As a child, she played soccer and she was in a marching team. Oh, marching. Oh, marching. Can I guess? This isn't one of my questions, but are you from the Lower North Island? No. Oh. What, do you think Lower North Island people are more predispositioned to...

Massive on marching. ...being marching? Massive on marching....being marching? Massive on marching, pretty much from New Plymouth down. That's your marching hotbed. That is your marching hotbed. Where are you getting these statistics? The Wairarapa, lower, you know, up to Kapiti. Are you up with the marching community?

Big, huge with the marching community. Right. Yeah, my nan was a marcher. Marlene marched. And she said, she told me, she was like, it was always the Lower North Island. That was always your, they always won. Well, I've just gone to Marching New Zealand

for the 2019 championship results. Who took that out? The Masters champion team were Wellington. And then Canterbury was second, Auckland third. Seniors, Wellington. Under 16s, Canterbury. And under 12 and then Canterbury was second, Auckland third. Seniors, Wellington, under-16s, Canterbury, and under-12s, Canterbury. Oh, okay, Canterbury making a mark on the marching community. Yeah, yeah, but there's lots of different,

there's what's a plate march, what's a bowl march? God, what a community. Don't know. I'm shutting that down because I don't care. How would you, you feigned it for a while, that was nice. How would you describe mum's dress sense is question four.

Like, is she fancy? Is she posh? Does she wear labels? Like mum chic? No. She's just casual. Like, honestly, casual active wear, but doesn't actually... Do you know what mums love? T-shirts with cats on them. Yeah, just random Kmart things, really.

Yeah, bits and pieces. Good, all right. A pair of tights. Yeah, leggings, yes. Yep, yep, love some leggings. Okay, good. And finally, this is the last one, kind of like bullseye. How old is your mum?

She is 47. 47, okay. Young mum. Alright, those are your five questions Vaughan. You now have 15 seconds to guess Danielle's mum's name. Now Danielle, if you hear your mum's name yell out, stop, that's my mum. Your time starts now.

Heather, Carol, Deborah, Lanelle because I put that in there. Jennifer, Tracy, Fiona, Robin, Vicky, Louise, Amanda. Yes, that's my mum's name. Carol Deborah Linnell Jennifer Tracy Fiona Robin Vicky Louise Yes, that's my mum's name. Which one?

Which one? Louise Vicky Or Victoria Yes, yes, yes. So I did say that she's Victoria on her birth certificate but she's known as Vicky. So you would have accepted either.

We will accept. We don't want another Sandy game. Wow. No, we don't. Congratulations to you. Wow. No, we don't. Congratulations, Danielle. Yes. Oh, that's awesome. Back on the winning train.

Fantastic. Thank you. Part two. You did well. Part two. If we get part one right, we get to proceed to part two. Just be aware we're in a global recession, Danielle,

so there won't be a $100 prize for our bonus round. Oh, is there not? The bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a $100 prize for our bonus round. Oh, is there not? Bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. All right. Young. One guess. Young.

Vicky. Yeah. And Dan. Dan? Yeah. I feel like Dan falls either side. Daniel. Oh, she's Danielle.

Maybe she's, like, named after her dad. Yeah, no, that wouldn't happen. Good call. You've caught yourself there. Vicky and... James. James. Vicky and James.

Chris. Chris. Nah, it's a Vicky and it's a James. I feel like it's a Vicky and a James. James. James. Jesse. John. Jason.

Jason. What? Oh, my God. Do I say anything? You basically had a psychic show and you just reacted to when he was saying there's a dead person here. Jason. What? Yay! You were on the Js. You were like, yeah, wow. Jason Wow Yay

You were on the J's You were like Yeah wow That is a That's a dad That's a young dad's name Jason Vicky and Jason

Vicky and Jason Wow Look at that I love it I mean technically You were help there Vaughn I don't know if you would Have said it on Jason

Technicality Danielle congratulations $100 cash for winning. I bet I can guess your mum's name. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day, it's a 50K fact of the day. There's going to be a question about this fact of the day at 12 o'clock with Georgia,

4 o'clock this afternoon with Brian Clint, your chance to win some cash. Yeah, $500 cash, all thanks to Save My Back and Borrow Money Online. We're growing your credit score. Today's fact of the day is that a lot of Roman statues had removable hair pieces. What? Detachable marble wigs. Oh, marble wigs. Yeah.

They had hair pieces as well. They had actual wigs. A lot of the old statues, but of course it was made of hair and that deteriorated over time. So there's a lot of examples of the busts with actual wigs made of hair. They also had a wig that was made of like wool. Oh, yeah. And that could be changed and they'd take it off and they'd style it and they'd put it back on.

Like those ones that lawyers wear with the curls. Yes. Why do they do that? I don't know. I don't know the origins of that. It's stupid, isn't it? The barrister. It's being admitted

to the bar, right? That's when you get to wear the wig. It's like a graduation hat and you get to keep the wig. But then don't they wear it in court and stuff? Yeah, and they get to keep it

and they get to wear it. Do you reckon they'd let me wear, if I was a lawyer, they'd let me wear my flexi-fit hat? Yeah, with the wig underneath it. Great, great.

Okay, great. And you'd be constantly like, so hot in here. Hair in my face. You're like, I don't know why I went for the tradition of being able to wear

a casual hat and not get rid of this wig as well. But anyway, so the main reason for this was that, say for example,

a emperor's wife had a bust and they would carve her and she would look lovely. But then in five years, the hairstyles would be out of fashion. Oh, yeah. Because just like now, the fashion of hairstyles would change. So they would go back into the Roman salon. And they would carve new hair. And rather than having to carve a whole new bust, they could just take the hair off and put the new hair on. And they would carve a new hair. They would carve new hair and rather than having to carve a whole new bust,

they could just take the hair off and put the new hair on. So they just go in and say I want a Rachel from Friends. That's so funny. Like even in Roman times they're like, oh my god, what was I thinking? Yeah. I know. I just went for those like two little bits of fringe that

hung down on my face and the rest of my hair was pulled back. Yeah. Or, you know, like okay, so the perm was big in the 80s, in the start of the 90s, the perm mullet, but not anymore. So they could just lift it off and change it and put a new hairstyle on. So it made that the statues, the busts, would stay in fashion for a little bit longer and be cheaper than having to redo the whole thing. And you could have an up-to-date hairstyle.

Because, yeah, imagine if you were a dude, you were Emperor Dudaleo in the early 2000s and you got a faux hawk or a rat's tail and then you're stuck with the rat's tail forever. Yeah. And it might be in fashion again in 20 years, but there's a good 20-year part in there where a rat's tail makes you look

one of society's rougher characters. But you don't want that look. And now the only problem with statues is somehow removing the racism off them. Yeah. Not always easy to do. Yeah. Sometimes it's just easy to pull them down. Just a whole new one. Yeah, a whole new one. So today's fact of the day is a lot of ancient Roman statues actually had detachable hair pieces. Fact of the day, day, day, day,

day. There is a lot of content already to stream, but we're adding one more to that. A whole new streaming service has launched in New Zealand. It's been in America since 2015, but Shudder is now available in New Zealand. Is this the primarily horror? Mm-hmm.

So it's only horrors? It's horrors, supernaturals, things that I want to watch. It's a no from me. Yeah, I think I'm okay with that. Like, I'm okay with every now and then stumbling across a horror. Yeah. Or, like, if there's a good one, watching it. But I don't need to be scared.

A full dedicated streaming service to probably my least favourite genre. Yeah, I'd say it's my least watched genre. What was that season three of that programme with Jessica Biel that we watched recently? On Netflix? Oh, um... The Sinner. That gave me nightmares.

But that's more of a thriller than it is a horror. Yeah, I mean... But see, I like those kind of thriller horrors like Get Out. That was great. Would you say that's a horror or a thriller? Thriller was marked as a horror. So good.

But most of those would be kind of your low budget. Horrors are notoriously low budget. Really, aren't they? When too much money gets put into them, I don't feel like they work. What about like Saw? The first Saws were like real low budget. No, you guys, no.

But really well done. When Saw started spending too much money, Megan, is when they lost me. They lost their roots. I accidentally went to a Saw and I was like, well, I mean, I had a little lamb. When they had enough budget to fill a pit full of syringes, I was like, I'm out.

That was Saw 3A. I was like, I'm out. That's the only movieA. I was like, I'm out. That's the only movie I've watched that literally made me feel physically sick. I know. Yuck. Yeah. Although you're getting scared. I recommended the I'll Be Gone in the Dark on Neon about the Golden State Killer. That's six

parts. I mean, I remember reading the book and that was like scary. Yeah, I saw a shadow this morning and I nearly went with my pants. I know that shut is not for me, but if it's for you, the plans start at $6.67 and you can get it now. All right, do you have an influencer code for that? No.

$6? What do you want, 10% off? No, I don't know. You're just giving them a free plug. I was like, you know, at least give a discount code. Use Megan10. Just try Megan10. Do you always do like sale 10 or 10 off or 15? I just try sale codes all the time.

Yeah. Coupon codes. I'll give it a nudge. I Google coupon codes, but that website's full of shit, man. It is. So I've tried all those codes, Anne, like nothing works, man. Just get pop-ups after. Do you think these companies...

It's like click here to see, man, and then you click it and it reveals, and it's like Facebook fan, and that like, that didn't even work, man. Like, do you want to give me 10% off on odd dick? Next on the show, somebody has gone into the bottom of the rumour that's been going around

about the latest source of COVID infection in New Zealand, that somebody snuck into a facility and then spread COVID within the community. We know that's not true in New Zealand, that somebody snuck into a facility and then spread COVID within the community. We know that's not true in this instance because... Completely unfounded. Somebody found the man that posted that first on the internet. Yes, a Reddit user who pretty smartly deleted his accounts. And we're going to chat next...

To Dylan Reeve, who got to the bottom of this. He's a sleuth. He's an internet sleuth. Sleuth. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. The latest COVID-19 community case, the origin of it, they're still working on it. Yeah.

The Ministry of Health are still trying to find out exactly how it got into New Zealand, but it was not. Just on that, just reading this morning, the cold store. AmeriCcold. Yeah, the lab results from that are being analysed in Wellington this week. So it could be another week until we find out, which is weird because all those shows on TV, they take it to the lab and they tell them straight away.

Yeah, have they tried putting it in the computer? I'm unsure. The lab results? It must take some time. It's plugged in on the USB. Yeah. And it does it immediately. I should message them and ask them. Sure. Certainly speculation

was rife. Rumors were flying around the internet. I think it was Friday that I saw it first and I was like, what? Winston Peters went on an Australian radio show and said that there was a breach. A quarantine breach.

He believed that's how it had gotten in. He'd heard it from journalists, et cetera, et cetera. So it spread and it went around pretty quick. The basic rumor of it was somebody had jotted up a timeline and chucked it on Reddit that the person at the center of it, the family, that the 20-something centre of it, the family, that the 20-something that is often talked about had been sneaking into a quarantine facility to hook up with a guy who had COVID who was in from Melbourne, and then the rest is just all out there.

And it went wild. And they even had to, in the press conference, and they don't really deal with rumours like this. Not until they get to a tipping point, right? And there was even like an official COVID graphic, you know, and post that said, this is rubbish. It's a lie.

The Facebook post that really went nuts was from a Facebook page called Expose Hatred in New Zealand and then goes into a multi-paragraph, I would only guess, racially charged bit of hatred. And apparently the family as well that are at the centre of this,

who just like everybody else that's got COVID, did nothing wrong. Exactly. Just got this horrible virus that's destroying the world. The virus is the problem, the people are the solution. How good is Bloomfield with a quote to go by? So they've obviously been having sleepless nights. And, you know, these are untrue allegations. It is out this morning on Webworm, which is David Farrier's blog site,

which has been covering the conspiracy angle of the whole COVID-19 fantastically. A story written by Dylan Reeve, who produced Tickled with David Farrier in 2016. Dylan joins us on the phone. You tracked down the guy that started the conspiracy theory, Dylan. Yeah, well, I think...

I don't know if you're a bit like me, but I like to sort of track down things on the internet and bring them all together. Yeah, Dylan, your phone reception is great. I don't know if this is... Oh, no! I don't know if this is the QAnon people that are messing with the 5G.

Don't even say that. But if you can just stand on a hill or something, Dylan, or the table. I'm holding my phone above my head, is it any better? There you go, there you go. That's a hot, hot spot. There we go. So you found the guy that started this original rumor on Reddit.

Yeah, you know how you've got your big notice board with all the red string on it? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So he had one of those as well, but he posted the outcome of it on Reddit, basically. And, you know, we all like to do a little bit of detective work. But that sort of ran away. I think it got out of control. He didn't really think about what he was doing.

And that kind of got a little bit viral. And then this other page sort of seems to have taken the story and run with it in a much more kind of gross way. So you tracked this guy down very quickly. And you detail in this article your phone conversation. You just ring him. Yeah, I phoned a guy who I connected to him and then I said, call me back. And he did. And yeah, we had a conversation. He'd been waiting, I think, for two or three

days at that point. He said sleepless nights waiting for someone to track him down and for all of the shit to land on his shoulders. I don't know if we can say that on... Done now. I think kudos to him for actually taking the phone call and discussing it because I would run away and hide. Yeah, I think he knew he couldn't. I think he was expecting a call from a journalist or a call from the cops.

Right. And he's getting sleepless nights, let alone the family who are also probably having sleepless nights because the nation has been trashing them. Yeah, exactly. And I think, you know, he didn't think when he posted the comment that that's what he was feeding into, but he was. And I sort of said in the article, it's a bit like Jerry Brownlee standing up and saying, well, this happened and this happened. I'm just asking questions. The same sort of thing. You're saying one thing, but it's feeding into other people's ideas. Yeah, right.

And that's what he did. You know, he wasn't trying to be malicious, I don't think. He just, he posted a thing and some people who kind of maybe wanted to be a bit more malicious or had a bit more of an agenda sort of took that and ran with it. Did he talk about how it exploded? Like when he realised, oh shit, I've started this. So he realised what he'd done a couple of hours after he posted it and took the post down. But by that point it was already circulating in screenshots.

And then he said he saw that the other post, the exposed hatred post, turned up in a family chat group from said he saw that the other post, the exposed hatred post, you know, turned up in a family chat group from his great aunt or something like that, like, was posted back to him. He saw his own sort of, his own ideas coming back to him in this way and, you know, he really sort of, I think at that point, understood just what had become of it all. So where did he get his points from?

I don't want to say information because it's not. Yeah, go on. I don't think, like information because it's not. Yeah, go on. I don't think, like, he's certainly not made it up from whole cloth. Like, it's not like he sat down and thought, what are the best storyline ideas, lies I can tell about this family? I think what's happened is, you know, like

Winston Peters has gone out and said, well, I heard it was a breach in COVID, right? He's heard that and then he's heard some other person who went to university with someone says they know something and then else who, you know, who says they know a guy who's connected to the police, says the police are looking into this thing. And, you know, so you kind of get those two or three pieces of information from different places, and you kind of say, oh, we'll tie them all together. And those pieces of information were probably floating around in lots of people's, you know, private message chats and little corners of the internet

that we didn't see them, but he kind of tied them all together and stuck them in a place where people were going to see them. It's just a classic rumour that's... Yeah. Yeah, and the internet has a way of blowing things up that we can't necessarily predict, right? So you don't know when you post a thing like that what the consequences and what the future for it might be.

It is a great lesson for people who are posting random things they hear, and not just about COVID, but about anything, the traction it can get. Yeah, and I think, you know, when you post a thing like that, or before you post a thing like that, I suppose, think, you know, what's it going to look like if this post that I've made ends up on the front page of the Herald tomorrow? Like, how am I going to feel about it? Because is he worried about his job or anything?

Yeah, he's worried about everything. I mean, he thinks, probably rightly, that if he gets associated with this, you know, publicly, that that might make it hard for him to work again. He's expecting the cops, you know, he thinks he might be charged under the Harmful Digital Communications Act. Like, he's expecting the worst,

and he was expecting the worst before I called him and was just kind of waiting for it to happen. Hey, you're going to politics. Winston Peters and Jerry Brownlee didn't seem to have too much. Yeah, a little bit of parliamentary privilege. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Peddling it out. Well, it's a fascinating read.

You can find it at Webworm, which the whole article, is there the whole, pretty much the conversation you had with this guy on the phone? Yeah, that's the bulk of the conversation I've had with him. I mean, there's a few bits that weren't relevant that we've chopped out, but that's more or less everything we talked about. Yeah, and from what I've read, he just is like, what have I done? There seems to be a lot of regret there, like genuine regret. Yeah, I don't know if you've ever had that sinking feeling after you've posted a thing online and just sort of seen it twist in a way you didn't expect, but I have, and I think that's maybe why I approached it the way I did

because I've certainly felt that way occasionally when something I've posted kind of got a little bit out of my control in a way I didn't want it to. Right. Awesome. We can read the whole thing. Thanks so much for the chat this morning. No worries.

See you guys. Thanks, Ellen. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the worries. See you guys. Thanks, Ellen.