ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 18th December 2020

Episode Date: December 17, 2020

Top 6: Vaccines  TikTok banned something...  The Baby Chase Finale!  Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern!  Megans Surprise  12 Days of Fletchmas!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app to get McCafe rewards today. And before we get into the last podcast of the year, we'll just tell you that we'll be back on the 18th of January, the Monday. That's the Monday, right? Yes, the 18th to the 18th.

We're away. Megan, though, maternity leave kicks in now. Yeah, until May. Start of May, I'll be back. You guys look shocked. Just no. Yeah, it's a long time. It is.

I know. Well, no, I think it's a very short amount of time. Three of that three months will absolutely fly by. Yeah, I'm sure it will. It will scream by. But there might be that morning where you're like, yep, I'm ready to go. Just thinking, because we've got a bit of travel coming up in March, Vaughan, for the show and getting around the country.

Do we get Megan's per diem? Oh, certainly. We can fraudulently claim her per diem. Because technically we get a per diem for like lunchtime and dinner, and then we'll get half of Megan's each. What is that, like $10 each? Woo! Yeah, but that could be some cookies or something.

That's a side. Yeah, it's a side. Oh, yeah. Yeah, well, it's definitely something we should look into financially. Great news. You're not going overseas or anything, but do we need to- Of course not, Megan. There's a global pandemic. But you're traveling around the country a little bit.

Do you need to put your Find My Friends on for us to make sure you're all right? That's true. Why don't even Find My friends when I'm overseas? Just feel like we still need to keep an eye on you. Because you know the James friend, all of them do find my friends and it creeps me out. They all know where everyone is. They're like, oh, I can see you.

It's because they don't have anything to hide. I don't have anything to hide, but I'm just like, like the other day, they were like, oh, what are you doing in Newmarket? It's like, don't be nosy. You know, don't be nosy, what are you doing in Newmarket? It's like, don't be nosy. You know, don't be nosy. What were you doing

in Newmarket? I was just shopping. And James was like, oh, they know we're here. And I'm like, I don't like that. I don't like that. And then if you drive past

your friend's work or something, it's like, oh, hi, what are you doing? But how often are you monitoring this? Well, you've got to

physically go into the app. Yeah. I don't like it. It's nosy. Stay out of my business. I don't want people to know I haven't left the house all weekend. If Find My Friends is their front page app, I can see why there would be a reluctance.

But mine's purely for emergencies that I'd want you to share Find My Friends. Right. So if you're saying, I can't get a hold of you for three days. If I signed up Find My Friends right now, logged in and gave you access, you would look at least four times a day. No, I wouldn't.

I'd do more than that. Just to see what's happening. Why? Because you're such a dark horse, I just need to know. Yeah, if it's on the front page app for me, I often forget it's there. Yeah, exactly. So it would be just more like, day three, haven't heard from Fletch. Hello, Interpol.

I'm imagining something. I feel like that would get me more than TikTok. Just knowing where you were. Just knowing where my dot is Watching where you were Unbelievable No he's not moving It was just one of those things Where a satellite thinks you've moved

But you haven't moved Good morning And we're a week away From Christmas today Your microphone's not on Why is your microphone not working? Good morning. And we're a week away from Christmas today. Your microphone's not on. Why is your microphone not working? I don't know.

Hello? Check, check. No, it's not working. It's not plugged in. Check, check. There you go. It was like that. It was in the back.

It was just unplugged. So it looks plugged in, but it's not. Oh, just plug it in, mate. There you go. Someone is sabotaging the final show of 2020. You do like to fiddle with that stand and pretend you're Freddie Mercury. Not the clip. Right.

You never touch the clip. Never touch the clip. I'm terrified of electric shocks. Coming up on the show, on the last show of 2020, the Prime Minister. Yeah. Now, Executive Minister Narnanya, what time is she coming in? 10 minutes to 8. Okay, fantastic. She's actually coming in.

She's actually coming in. You can tell because me and Ananya wore black blazers to appear more professional. Well, she'll be vaccinating us all. I believe she will be vaccinating us, yes. Okay, great. Will we be getting the Pfizer jab? I don't want the Pfizer jab.

How do you pick? I want the other one. I'm going for, what's that, Sputnik, the Russian one. That sounds trustworthy. They rushed that one. Is it actually called Sputnik? I believe so, yeah. No, I don't.

Because of Sputnik being the first man-made satellite in space, and they're like, this is the first thing. No, I feel like that's not a vaccine name. No, didn't that come crashing down to... Yeah, Sputnik V. What you need to know

about the Russian vaccine. Sputnik V. Apparently that's 91.4% effective. Oh, good start. I'll have all four. Yeah, just keep lining up and get all the different ones. I'll have one in each arm and one

in each arse cheek. Brilliant. That seems like a good spot. Of course, Vaughan's brought his kids into work today, India and August, and that didn't go down well, did it? I'm shocked. What's so bad about that? Oh, right. It's your mother's look.

You've inherited that. You've inherited that scowl. Straight from your mother. Also coming up on the show, the top six. Actually on vaccines. Correct. The top six ways to vaccinate New Zealand the fastest. They've told us how they're going to start rolling it out, aren't they? Yeah.

Well, they've told us at least that they've secured some extra vaccines. Different kinds. Yes. And enough for our neighbours, which I am stoked about. Well, yeah, because then we can go on holiday to Fiji and Samoa. You might have thought me being a white male approaching 40, I'd be against it. I am so hard for it.

Yeah. For selfish reasons? I won't lie to you, Megan, there's a little bit of selfishness in there. It certainly will allow us to holiday in the islands. I certainly don't want to be the person that drags it back into Samoa or Rarotonga or anywhere like that. So, yeah, I'm stoked our Pacific neighbours are going to get some vaccines as well.

So the top six dealing with this today. The top six ways to vaccinate New Zealand the quickest. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. I feel like, oh, can Vaughan's girls hear this break? No, they're on the phone. Oh, that's great news.

I really didn't know how we were going to navigate this break. But the real MVP, the real breakout star of 2020 has been Adult Fun Toys. They've really just grown in popularity. And it also feels like it's another year where

I'm reading a PR release. They've become less taboo. Yeah. Good. There's definitely less taboo associated to it, which is fantastic. Because we talked this year

about the, and I'm assuming that this is on the list that you which is fantastic. Because we talked this year about the, and I'm assuming that this is on the list that you're reading out. You've got a list of the top adult fun toys. We've talked about the, I'm guessing it'll be number one. You're talking about the Satisfye Pro? Yes. You're not supposed to give away what's number one. I received the PR release.

I was emailed the PR release. Now you should tell Yvonne from Domino's about this. Leave Yvonne alone. If you're a regular listener to the show, you may be familiar that Yvonne from Domino's sends through a weekly email of what Domino's is up to in the hope that we'll talk about Domino's. And the only time we've talked about Domino's

is when it's been regarding Yvonne's email. And she said she wasn't going to give up. And I bloody appreciated that. You know what? It's working though, isn't's email. And she said she wasn't going to give up. And I bloody appreciated that. You know what? It's working though, isn't it? Well, she, yeah. Also, why aren't you glazed over that very quickly? Why are you on the mailing list for the top 10 adult fun toys?

Because it said, it's from Emily. And it said, I hope you and, and I assume it means Sade, enjoyed the wee present we sent. Merry Christmas to you. Now, is this a Christmas present? Because I don't know. There is something for me in the mail room. Ohed the wee present we sent. Merry Christmas to you. Now, is this a Christmas present? Because I don't know. There is something for me in the mail room. Oh, don't speak like that.

But the mail room is locked. Right, okay. Because I replied. I said, oh, it hasn't arrived yet. But I wait with bated breath to receive said gift. Okay, great. And then she attached the top ten. Oh, right, okay.

And said, if there's any in the top 10 you'd like to try, let me know. Now, how many... Has she extended that to the whole show? How many... Oh, Megan. See, that's where Yvonne from Domino's is going wrong. She should give us the top 10 pizzas. Yes.

And garlic breads and sides. Yes. So I've got the email too with hyperlinks for all 10. Okay, because there's some where the names aren't specific enough. Oh, there are some where the names aren't wildly specific. Good luck.

To you, man. I'm going to dance around this. So yeah, massive year for fun toys in New Zealand, but the top 10, the Kiwis. I can't go to any of them

on the work. Of course. This app, an application stopping Chrome from safely connecting to the site. Do that thing where you hotspot your phone. Hotspot my phone, yeah. Of course This app An application Stopping Chrome From safely Connecting to the site Do that thing

Where you hot spot Your phone Hot spot my phone Yes We do that When we want to Do nefarious things I can't

Because my kids Have got the phone To distract them From hearing this Break about the Adult fun toys Oh okay Nah well you're not

Hot spotting off my phone Can I hot spot Off your phone Absolutely not Give me a little Open your wifi to me Open your wifi to me That's actually Oh, okay. Nah. Well, you're not hotspotting off my Wi-Fi. Can I not hotspot off your Wi-Fi? Absolutely not. Give me a little while. Open your Wi-Fi to me. Open your Wi-Fi to me.

That's actually toy number eight on the... Open your Wi-Fi for me. Should I start the 10 while you're doing this? I mean, I reckon between the three of us, we'll be able to work it out. Yeah, I think it's more fun if we guess what it is. Okay. Yeah. Number 10 is the OVO L1 love balls.

Okay. I'd imagine those are like a rum ball that Nan makes. They're just a little bit coconut covered in coconut. Jeez, I hope you're not going to open Nan's pantry and find these love balls though. Number 9 basics suction cup.

What's another word for that? The D. Yeah, okay. Ah, right. Goodness me. Amore silicon beaded chain. Okay, right. It's a lovely necklace that you wear.

Okay, great. You're nice. Seven, an Optimalay ring set. Of course, you put those on your fingers. Okay, yeah. It's beautiful. Maybeay ring set. Of course, you put those on your fingers. Okay, yeah. It's beautiful. Maybe not diamonds. No, you don't put them on your fingers.

Okay. You put them on your... Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I can't say number six. I know, this is the one I was looking forward to the most. What is number six? First name Jack.

You know, it's just a... No, no, it's like putting on a jacket. Yep, and then... You like putting on a jacket You're putting on a jacket And then you stroke the jacket To get the fluff off The fur all one way It's a velvet jacket Next one

What you're doing there is the jacket stroke Okay right That's number six Number five Rocks off Every Girl. I don't know what that is. It sounds like a great album. Well, you know, Rocks Off, Roxanne.

Yep, this is Rocks Off. Yeah. I'm trying here. The Satisfy Pro, this is the smaller little rabbit friend. Okay, yep. Number three, She Is Satisfaction Karma. I've looked it up. Yep. Number three, sheer satisfaction karma. I've looked it up.

Don't know what, it could be anything. I've looked it up. Okay. I can't, again, can't go to the website, but I have found an image of it.

Okay. Oh goodness. Actually, okay. What an interesting, what an interesting piece of engineering. But do you see what's happening here? I honestly think this could have been that goes and then that is on the front.

And that does the. Yeah, it does. Yep. I mean, your children can't hear you, but they can see those actions. What are we up to? Okay. Number two is the little bullet. Okay. That's number two. two is the little bullet. Okay.

That's number two. It's a magic bullet. Very popular. Yep. Make a smoothie with that. Make a spinach smoothie. And number one, of course, is the Satisfye Pro 2 Next Generation. Yeah, I picked it tonight.

Massive over lockdown. Yeah, huge. What about the lube of the year? That goes to... Is that an award? Yep. That goes... Could you imagine an awards ceremony like the Hallbergs, the Halbergs?

Why did you bring the Halbergs into this? There's so many awards ceremonies. The Halbergs, and they're like, okay, next up it's lube of the year. And it was close this year. I need to know now, though. It's uber lube, for those wondering. Okay. I think it might be it comes in like a spray-on.

Not like an aerosol spray-on, like a perfume, like you pump the little thing and it sprays out. Oh. Apparently it's... It's a bit weird, isn't it? Very nice. Well, if it's one of the Halbergs, I don't think we should argue with that.

Sorry, Valerie Adams. Dame Valerie Adams. You've missed out to the Sprabble Uber Lube this year. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. There is one particular stretch of bus lane in Christchurch that in 12 months has, okay, so about 5,000 fines. Yep.

Cost Christchurch drivers half a million dollars. In just one stretch of bus lane. In one year. So 6,000 fines have been dished out, totaling just under three quarters of a million dollars, $740,000 for driving or parking in bus lanes since the end of November last year. So that's 12 months.

That one I was talking about being responsible for a huge amount on Rickerton Road between Mona Vale and Dean's Ave. Is it? Because I get confused with bus lanes. So the bus lane might be a left turning lane and you've got to go into it for a little bit to get in the lane to turn left. Yes. And then how much is a little bit?

How much is too much? It's when the line starts, there's a breaking line. It's 50 metres. But when traffic's really bad, people like go in it really early. And then you have to go in it really early. You can do that if A, there's no camera, fixed camera or guy with a camera. Right. The guy standing with a camera, that's going to be the worst job.

But see, they've got rid of most of them now because they have all like in auckland city's little white cameras yeah and pretty much all the bus lanes they would be making way more than christchurch this one must be full time as well i'd imagine yeah pinging that many people uh but i got a bus lane fine once for two men when i was oh i was in the car yeah and so my dad got a fine and he wasn't happy about it. But then it was a great excuse because his ute is registered to his rural address. So I said, look, mate, I'm just a bloody country bumpkin. I was in town. I had my sat-nav on.

My sat-nav said turn left. So I got into the left lane to turn. And they let you off. What? Because you were following the instructions of your thing. And, you know, you could say you weren't used to it. Question. If you just put, like, if you got some, like, a vinyl sticker,

and it just said bus, and you put it on the top of your windscreen, legally, have I just found a loophole? Done. Yep. You try it. I don't even think it needs to be vinyl. A well-printed piece of paper. Like, I'd just go to court and say, well, I'm a bus.

It's like when you park in a loading zone and you've got a little laminated piece of paper that says temporary sub-60 courier van. Yeah. Courier vehicle. Yes. That's absolutely foolproof. Is it? Well, they won't.

They'll be like, oh, the poor bugger's van's broken down. He's had to go to his Honda Civic. Well, it's in a court actually. The more preferred courier vehicle from the Honda family. Yeah, and just leave your hazard lights on and put that little laminated sign up and you reckon that'll get you away with... Nine times out of ten.

And if not, in Auckland anyway, I don't know if this is the case, they send you a photo of you. You know that photo? I looked like a criminal. I looked like I just robbed a bank. And I was making a sneaky getaway. I looked like an absolute bloody criminal in my loading zone photo.

It was pretty hot. It falls on Tinder. I'd use it because I looked like a right bad boy. Flesh fauna Megan, the podcast, ZM. TikTok is banning something, as I said before. It might surprise you. It is banning MLMs, Ponzi schemes, pyramid schemes, and other get rich quick-quick schemes.

So MLM is multi-level marketing. Yep. IE. Arbonne. Yep. Those cloths. What do you mean those cloths? What cloths?

Cloths. Is Tupperware technically an MLM too? I think it is. I don't know. Because if you love it that much at a Tupperware party, they could be like, you could also be having Tupperware parties. Right.

And that's basically what an MLM is. Oh, right. It's when you sell stuff, but you can also sell the ability to sell. I haven't seen any MLM-ers on TikTok. Do you? Yeah. Yeah, it's quite prolific, right? Maybe it's not in your algorithm.

Pass me your phone and show me your TikTok algorithm. I do have a video to show you, actually, that came out last night that was funny, but not in your algorithm. Pass me your phone and show me your TikTok algorithm. I do have a video to show you actually that came out last night that was funny but not for the radio. Those are my favourite sorts. I felt targeted. I was like, you know me, TikTok. You know me. So TikTok added to its frauds and scams guideline

the official word in content that depicts or promotes phishing. Content that predicts. Man, I can't speak. I think it's the last show. You should get a job in radio. I hope one day too. Content that depicts or promotes Ponzi, multi-level marketing or pyramid schemes,

and content that depicts or promotes investment schemes with the promise of high returns, fixed betting or other types of scams. Right. And so if you see that now, you can report it and they're gone. Yep. We'll remove the content and accounts

that violate these guidelines, which were identified through a combination of technology that automatically flags content to our moderation team to review and reports we receive from our community. Wow. Okay. So yeah, if somebody's dancing to Savage Love

and then having a fizz stick and telling you you can have a fizz stick too, you can report them. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the dusty ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Oh! I'm not used to that.

It's a pause for effect. Yeah, that was hot. I liked it. Today's Top Six is really throwing me off. Yeah. Today's top six, the top six ways to vaccinate New Zealand as quickly as possible. This is because we've secured enough vaccine for already four different types.

You've got your Pfizer's, which has the added side effect of Pfizer's other well-known medication, Viagra, if you want it. No, it doesn't. I shouldn't even joke about the side effects of a vaccine, eh? No. Yeah, because some people do, actually. Some people, yeah. No, it doesn't. I shouldn't even joke about the side effects of a vaccine, eh? Because. No. Yeah, because some people do actually. Yeah.

I don't. So I saw the news, was it last night? And they said that about 45% of New Zealand, don't quote me on this, but I think it was 45% of New Zealanders were like, I'll definitely get a vaccine. And then there was like a 30 odd percent that were like. It was over 70% of people saying, yes I'll definitely get a vaccine. And then there was like a 30-odd percent that were like... It was over 70% of people saying, yes, I will get a vaccine. But then there was like 13% that were like, absolutely not. Wow, that's higher than I thought it would be.

Which is too high for herd immunity to work properly. Because what is it going to be, 95%? I think 95%, which is why in the past, before the internet, anyone that was anti-vax was kind of shielded because most of the population, you know, had their measles or their whatever shots. Yeah. And then it became dangerous because, yeah, it certainly wasn't lack of information that led to people making stupid decisions because now they've got the world at their fingertips

and they still make stupid decisions. But I am being paid by Big Pharma, so I would say that. Don't you know all you media shucks are out there with your Big Pharma dollars? I know, I hear these people. Don't even joke about that either. I still think that's true. I hear these people that, oh, they're controlling the media. It's like, I haven't had a bloody cent from any Bill Gates or any pharma.

GPs get taken away on fancy weekends and they get all the pads and the pens for the office. Yeah. Not me, baby. We've said so many times we're quite open to bribery, but it's never happened. It's never happened. I'm absolutely open to moral corruption if there's a financial kickback.

Absolutely. You'd be anti-vax tomorrow if you got a cash payment in a suitcase. I'd be a whole lot worse too. So I've got the top six ways to vaccinate New Zealand as quickly as possible. Number six on the list, just dose hokey pokey ice cream with the vaccine. Put it inside the pokies.

Yes. In the pokies. Because then you know it'll be eaten. Yes. Yes. It'll all be, yeah, it'll be yummed up. And the Pfizer vaccine has to be kept very cold. And what better place than ice cream?

In one of those big cardboard boxes of ice cream. Yes. In the ice cream thing at Pocono. Brilliant. God, some people would have too much vaccine. They'd be super soldiers. Number five on the list

of the top six ways to vaccinate New Zealand as quickly as possible. I'm just chemtrail in All Blacks game. Oh, chemtrail. Just low fly over with just those

the gas coming out the back. It's definitely not vapour. Definitely not the back. It's definitely not vapour. Definitely not. No, it's definitely not vapour. You could chuck it in vapes as well. That'd be a bonus way to do it. Number four on the list of the top six ways

to vaccinate New Zealand as quickly as possible. Make it into an incense form to get all those pesky hippie anti-vaxxers. They'll light up those incense sticks so they'll even know what's in them. Number three on the list of the top six ways to vaccinate New Zealand as quickly as possible. Release it as a new flavour of pals. Vodka, vanilla and vaccine.

Triple V. Those would be hooned by the box load. We'd be vaccinated. It'd be fantastic. Number two on the list of the top six ways to vaccinate New Zealand as quickly as possible. Hold a free 660 concert. However, on the way in, you've got to get a vaccination.

Do you know that you... There's 50,000 people done like that. You joke, but yeah, hold a couple of huge concerts around the country. Easy. Yeah. Totally. And number one on the list of the top six ways to vaccinate New Zealand as quickly as possible. A lottery to be personally vaccinated on your second dose,

because some of them require like a dose and then you go back and get a second dose. So if you get the first dose, that is your entry into a lottery to be personally vaccinated for your booster by Dr. Ashley Bloomfield. Is that a bit below him? Like don't doctors get the nurses to nurse and check that? I reckon he'd do it for the vaccine. Yeah, he totally would. He'd do it for vaccination rates.

Yeah, he probably would. You get the first one and you get an entry into the lottery to win your booster by Dr. Ashley. Trouble is, if you make it a lottery with prizes, people will enter more than once. And that's okay too. As long as everybody gets a dose. That is today's top six.

God, it's a huge argument in the studio of what constitutes an oblong. I'll tell you what, the shape that we're cutting out of this card will not be an oblong. Well, it's not an oblong because we can't agree on what an oblong is. Because I thought an oblong. I'll tell you what, the shape that we're cutting out of this card will not be an oblong. Well, it's not an oblong because there's conflict. Because I thought an oblong was like an

oval. But I remember years ago hearing it was a rectangle and according to collinsdictionary.com an oblong is a shape that has two long sides and two short sides in which all the angles are right angles. So that's just the rectangle. Nobody says it can be in circular form. But that's a rectangular.

It's any shape that's got a long side and a short side. Like a capsule can be an oblong. Yeah, but a rectangle can be an oblong. Okay, well, either way. Good morning, Grace. Good morning, hi. I can tell you that the shape Vaughan's cutting will not be an oblong. Where would your vote fall on that? Good morning. Hi. I can tell you that the shape Vaughan's cutting will not be an oblong. Where would your vote fall on that?

No idea. Yeah. That's the thing. Other people are just saying it's a made-up word, oblongs. All right. Hey, so, Grace, you've got to guess the shape that we're cutting to see Shape Shifter and Fong of Matanzas New Year. Now, I'm going to turn down the music, Vaughan. Yeah.

And if you get that really close to the microphone, here we go, Grace. Okay. Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's good. That's actually not bad. You've done well. Yeah, that's good.

Grace, what shape was Vaughn cutting? I have no idea. That is so hard to hear, to be honest. I might just have to take a wild stab in the dark and say a triangle. I'm afraid not, Grace. No, it's not, unfortunately. No, sorry, Grace. Let's go to Stacey.

Stacey, good morning. Good morning. What shape was born cutting? Again, I think I'm out of my depth, but I'm going to say a circle. Correct. Correct. It was like a curved around.

I feel for Grace it was hard, but yeah. Stacey, congratulations. You have won two tickets to see Shapeshifter. Oh my God, thank you so much. Who are headlining the other side, live from Joe's Farm in Whangapata this New Year's. LAB, a big lineup, and you've won a double pass.

Congratulations. Well done. Oh my God, thank you so much. And if you want to check out the... No worries, if you want to check out the other side, just go to theotherside.nz and all the details you can find at ZM Online. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

So Jackass 4 is... Wow. Wow, really? Filming, yeah. Well, I don't know that we needed that, but I mean, maybe we do in 2020. We were talking about this on the way to the Christmas party with Brie. I don't even know how we got onto it talking about it. And I said, oh, yeah, I'm pretty sure Jackass 4 is underway.

And then looked it up and it said, yeah, production started. And then I saw this news this week. Because they did Jackass 3D. That was Jackass 3 in 2010. Jackass the movie. The first one came out in October 2002, and at the time it grossed worldwide 79.5 million. And it didn't cost much to make. Nah.

It's always been a... Yeah, them going down the hill in like a supermarket trolley and stapling stuff to their balls. Yeah. All handy, all handy cammed and everything back in the day and a load of footage they already had on hand. Yeah. And Steve-O said, I think like a few years ago, he was like, nah, it's not going to happen.

We're not going to do a number four. But they started. Yeah. But it's already been derailed because Steve-O and Johnny Knoxville have been hospitalised. They were two days into filming and I can tell you what the stunt they were doing when they got hospitalised.

They had turned a treadmill on full speed and decided to jump on the treadmill with band equipment, like tubers and... Like marching band equipment. Marching. They're too old to be doing this now. They're in their 40s. Isn't Johnny Knoxville in his 50s, isn't he?

Is he? Yeah, isn't he? Can we look that up? Johnny Knoxville, 49. So, sorry't he? Is he? Yeah, isn't he? Can we look that up? Johnny Knoxville, 49. So, sorry, 49. He turns 50 in March. To be fair, he looks great considering what he's been through. Wowzers.

Like, how have they not died? Although some of them have, haven't they? Yeah, Ryan Dunn. They're down a few. They're down a couple. Ryan Dunn died. Lord. Yeah, so they have hurt themselves,

and yep, that's just on hold until they get out. All right, a couple of minutes away. Until Grandad can get his prescriptions. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. We are now delving into, I don't know if he knows what he's bitten off, to be honest. It's a big responsibility.

Big responsibility, but also, it's like getting access to the bat cave. You don't know what you knows what he's bitten off, to be honest. It's a big responsibility. Big responsibility, but also. It's like getting access to the Batcave. You don't know what you're going to find in there. He's like, he's a young Robin, and Batman's gone away for a road trip around the South Island and left him in charge of the Batcave. It's a weird analogy. Do you look around, or do you strictly keep your hands to yourself?

What do you mean? Do you pry? Well, producer Jared has got the keys to my apartment to look after Major Murray Fluffington over summer. Producer Jared joins us from the producer's booth. Good morning. Good morning. Now, are you most excited

about looking after my cat or using my entire smeg knife set from New World? To be honest, your shower's pretty cool. Yep, yep. That's pretty boosh. I had to show you,

there's a little special way to turn the shower on. You have some dark things happening. Is there any drawers or cupboards that have padlocks on them? Showering happens in there. What are you doing? Or like key codes. I feel like you're a key code guy.

No, it's not a padlock. Can you stop this, Megan? Excuse me. On the second Sunday of every month, if you listen carefully, you can still hear the noises. Right. But I think, Jared, you're a little bit daunted by the fact that you've got all this responsibility. Yeah, a little bit.

Never look after a cat before. Well, this is good to know now. Did you do a background check before? I mean, you've obviously had other animals growing up. A dog. You're more of a dog person. Pretty good with pets in general. So I felt like a cat was easy.

That easy. I think that entry-level pet. Yeah, he's very cute too. He's very cute. You just got to play with him, feed him and water them and they're all good. Much like the plants that I kill.

I was going to say that. Pretty much the description of how to look after you too. Play with you, water you. Exactly. Absolutely. Feed you. That's exactly it. Absolutely. Feed you. But yeah, producer Jared, a little bit nervous.

Yeah. Because you're very pedantic and you like things a certain way and like if anything's out of place, you'll know. No, it's just like help yourself to the drinks or whatever. Just knock yourself out. It's all good. Have you ever had any disasters looking after anybody else? Oh, what are you doing this for?

Nah. Nah, I've been pretty good. One time I was looking after my aunt and uncles and there was an algae bloom in their pool or something. It was an algae bloom. That happens in the ocean, Jerry. Yeah, well, you couldn't harvest the mussels from your aunt and uncle's pool anymore.

It was a shamble. How bad was this pool that had an algal bloom? It was like a forest green. That's on them. Yeah, it was them. On the list of things for you to do, they'll look after their pool. Were you the pool guy as well?

Maybe. Give that a shock treatment with the chlorine when you get back. That'll be absolutely fine. Yeah, right. I'd love to know, to put Fletcher's mind at ease, what the worst thing that has happened to you while house-sitting is. I don't know if that's going to put my mind at ease.

Taking calls on that this morning. That would actually be my worst. Because people do this for, like, non-stop, don't they? Yeah. All they do is they jump. They bounce from house to house. Yeah, which is good because then you're not paying rent, are you? You just always have.

But then I wouldn't. It's stressful. We're going to live next. What about this year? This would have been a weird year to be doing that because people. Yeah. So long people weren't going away. Well, people won't be going away.

So it'd be hard to house sit. But yeah, that would be doing something like that. Bouncing from house to house and always house sitting. Yeah. Something goes wrong. Like it's on you, right? Yeah. Nightmare stuff.

All right. So 0800 dials at M. 9696. This is not going to put my mind at ease. Yeah. Nightmare stuff. Alright so 0800 dials at M 9696. This is not going to put my mind at ease. No. But tell us those disasters that you've had when looking after someone's place. Yeah. Or house sitting. When did house sitting go bad? 0800 dials at M 9696 is the number to text. The Prime Minister is in studio with us. Look at the big gift we've got her too. She might need a little one of those little trailers they put behind the super shuttles to get that home. So, Producer Jared has quite a big responsibility over the summer holidays. He is looking after my cat, Major Murray Fluffington.

For how long? From today? No, for like two and a half weeks. Right, okay. Over like New Year's and stuff. Right. So, to put my mind at ease, my friends here on the show have decided to talk to you about what went wrong when you were house-sitting. When did it go horribly wrong?

Well, anonymous. Always a good start when there's an anonymous caller. How did it go when you house sat? So I was house sitting with some like really extended family friends and I was house sitting for a week and it wasn't until they got back that they asked how the cat was and the whole time I had no idea

that there was a cat in the house. But surely when you're house sitting you get like the list of stuff right oh the cat gets fed They were so like blasé about it all they were like oh yeah like

you know here's the house key righty righty right we'll be back in a week and I was like okay cool Yeah see that's on them that's on them

because I gave Jared yesterday I was like here's the you give it the cat a scoop in the morning scoop in the night now who knows

there's a cat there We've got a word document that we print out for people to look after our house. All the cat stuff was, like, in the garage. I never went into. But this cat came in to, like, visit. And I'd sit outside and this cat would come and be all friendly. And I'd be like, oh, this is cute. This must be the neighbor's cat.

It's like, feed me. It would go to go inside. And you're like, not today, neighbor's cat. Yeah, exactly. I went in the house one day and I was late. And I was like, oh, my God, I can't get this crazy cat out of the house. Oh, my God. And it's just like, feed me, feed me.

Anonymous, thank you. Alana, what happened when you house sat? So I was house sitting in my parents' house. And all I had to do was look after the dog and make sure the house was okay. And when I arrived, mum said, I've got this food cooking on the oven, it needs 10 more minutes and then turn it off and then you put it into these containers and that's for the dog while we're away. And I was like, yep, sweetie, he's not a skin condition, he's a needy dog. So I was like, yeah, nah, no problem, sweetie. And then I thought, I'll

take the dog for a walk, be a good babysitter then I thought, I'll take the dog for a walk, be a good babysitter, house sitter. So I took the dog for a walk and come home and there was fire engines all down our driveway. And, like, they were screaming past me and I was like, oh, someone's in trouble. And it was me, I burnt my parents' kitchen down. Oh, no.

And did you get a telling off from mum and dad? They were like, well, thank God you weren't in the house. And I was like, well, if I was in the house, I wouldn't have went down. Why don't they try to get you out of trouble and you got yourself back into it? Yeah, Alana, thanks for your call. Johan, this is a moving story. Yeah, hi. So we were house-sitting

back in the Netherlands where we were traveling. And it was for a family which had over some animals. Dogs and chickens and cats and birds. And on the first day we accidentally left the chicken run open.

And yeah, we were wondering what the commotion was in the chicken run. And the dogs got in there and pretty much killed all the chickens. Oh my god! So it was literally like there was like feathers everywhere, body parts everywhere.

It was like a war zone in there. Did you think about replacing the chickens so they wouldn't notice? No, we didn't. We actually were like, oh, we're going to have to call them straight away because if the neighbors walk past and they call them,

then, you know, that will be bad. So we called them. And then they were like, oh, you know, were they the white ones or brown ones? And we're like, oh, the brown ones, the white ones seem to have survived.

And they were like, oh, yeah, the brown ones are pretty good ones seem to have survived. And they were like, oh, yeah, the brown ones were pretty good, getting pretty old anyway. Oh, right. Oh, my God. The dog had run some sort of euthanasia. Johan, thanks for your call. Some text messages.

That seems to be, I don't want to freak you out, but that seems to be a very common theme is animals dying during the house-sitting period. My auntie's dog died while I was house-sitting. Someone said, moved into a new flat. The owner had moved overseas. The flatty and I were allowed to stay as long as we liked, as long as we looked after his dog.

Okay. Isn't that cheesy? Yeah, cheap. To look after the dog. Two days in and the dog died. We buried it in the backyard. The owner was so destroyed, he quit his new job overseas and came home.

What's he coming home for? You can't resurrect the dog. No, unless he's got a pet cemetery pet cemetery magic spell no it didn't it really didn't um lots of fires as well okay people are leaving things unattended right is this um is this all this is all good education though this is the way i look at it jared producer jared yeah i mean you're not getting too nervous are you no okay but just this is a warning. It's like,

there's all those texts on the text machine, things to be avoided. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Baby Chase. But Megan,

popping February 2021. Yes. Having a baby. What week are you now? 30. 32, I think. Or 33. 32.

Four and then two, six. Yeah. 33. Bourne was like, I don't want to stress you out, but Indy was 34 weeks when she arrived. Which is like next week for you. She's in studio now. Look at her.

She was that size when she came out too. Walked out. All right. So I've got five questions. Whoever can answer the most right wins the baby chase for the day. Buzz in with your baby noise.

Yeah. That sums you up actually. That's a good one. Yeah. That's a good one. Question one. How early do babies walk? Wah.

Megan. It really depends on the child, but some maybe like nine months to a year or past a year. So I was going to say a year, but I might go eight and a half months. Are you going on average or how early could they? So the answer is structured as it could come as early as or as late as. I would say nine months or as late as

13, 14 months. Okay. I'll say eight months and 18. Nailed it. Fletch, a point for you. Eight months. He just went on the outer skirts of me. 18. Nailed it. Fletch, a point for you. Eight months. Woo!

He just went on the outer skirts of me. Who hasn't even been to antenatal classes for the last month? Me. Oh, here she goes. She's sulking. No, but I'm just saying that's never wrong. You're sulking like that time we collected the New World Knife Set before you. No, that's actually a really...

We've had a hell of a year. Haven't we had a hard year? Second question. What percentage of a baby's daily liquid intake do they wee out? Wham. Fletch. 80%.

Who knows this? Okay. Who knows all of it? Do they wee out? 70%. How much did you out? 70%. They don't teach you this, and you don't need to know this. Megan's closer. It's 60% approximately gets wee'd out.

Oh, she got one. Pity clap. 35% will go to the skin and lungs, and 5% in poops. You could expect six to eight nappies a day. Yeah, it's a lot at the start. It's a lot of nappies. Question three. How much did the heaviest baby ever born weigh at birth?

I will accept pounds or kilograms. Where? 10 kgs. Megan. I've got no idea. Let's hit pounds. What do you go pounds for? Or kgs.

Go kgs. Go kgs. Not in America. Yeah. I want to say five KGs. Fletch was close. 10.2 KGs. It's like a sack of spuds.

It's the Guinness Book of World Records. It's a sack of potatoes. Carmelina Fidel. The baby was born in Italy in 1955. And she was in good health. That's not going to make you a good parent knowing that. It is. She was in good health when she gave birth to the child.

We're sort of in a westerly, but she was in good health. Is there any point in continuing? I've won, haven't I? These are just random guesses. If Megan gets the next two right, she could equal it. How much does the Edwards & Co Snooze Pod 4 retail for?

I say snooze because it's got an oomuch over the u. Oh, where? $200. Megan? I'm going to say $300. You're close. That's $549. That's the price there and the bed.

Here we go. Okay, here it is. Here we go. It's the price there in the bed. Okay, here it is. Here we go. It's the decider. Is it? What is the average circumference of a newborn baby's head? What's circumference? 15 centimetres.

Around the size. Around it. Not diameter. 25 centimetres? Megan. Thinking this has got to come out of your vagina as well. It's got to squeeze out of the vagina. Bourne's children are in studio.

They know where babies come from. It's a medical tomb. They know. They know where it comes from. 30 centimetres. Megan closer. 35 centimetres. 35 Closer, 35 centimetres. 35!

Good luck, yo! So she wins today's baby chase, but has also had a shocking realisation. Yeah, and last time I had a scan, they were like big head. I was like, great news. Great news. Good luck. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast. ZM. We were going to do the 12 days of Fletchmas here But the Prime Minister

Jacinda Ardern joins us In studio early Good morning I'm so sorry is that why there's no chair or headphones Or any suggestion that you're ready Thank you I'm just checking the warmth of my chair before I pass it on. No, I have the cold chair.

No one wants to sit on it. I don't like sitting on a warm chair. A warm chair's fine. A warm toilet seat is not. No. Never okay. When you sit on a warm toilet seat, that is not cool. Especially when it's, like, really warm.

Yeah. Sorry, I've taken us to an interesting place. Oh, that's absolutely fine. Head funds. Oh, it's absolutely fine. Head finds. Oh, there we go. Fantastic. You've got an attractive new security guard. Is it a new security guard?

Which one is it? I don't know. He's not new, but I'm sure he'll appreciate it. Jared said someone did the bomb sweep before and they were really. Oh, okay. I'd have to check who that was. They were really something. Okay.

You'll have to ask. Take our producer, producer Jared with you. He'll be able to identify the hot male that really got him flustered. Really got across there. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Oh, Merry Christmas to you guys. When do you knock off?

You don't really even knock off, do you? No, I'll have the phone with me the whole time, but that's as it should be when you're in a pandemic. It's when you're a world leader and a company. Sorry that was a bit jarring wasn't it? Have you seen, I am aware we're in a pandemic. Yes, yes. I have heard.

Were you invited to the Ministry of Health Christmas party because there's a TikTok of Ashley Bloomfield doing karaoke, La Bumba. That's quite something. He undid all the good work. By dancing and singing La Bamba. If anybody deserves a Christmas party blowout this year, I would say it's Dr. Ashley Bloomfield.

I went to say thank you to everyone on Wednesday afternoon. That was not a Christmas party situation. There was no karaoke. Right. But that was yesterday's. Right. Ministry of Health. News about the vaccine.

We've got like four of them. We do. And look, we've done that because as you will have seen, there's a number of them in development and they are, as we're going through trials, some are really successful,

some less successful. Because this is happening so quickly, there's still the risk around whether they'll be delivered. So we've gone for four, just to give us some options. I'm just going to tell my children off. Can you stop playing with that? I mean, to be fair, sitting here

and listening to me. I'm very excited. Indy did have a question for you. No, I did not excited. Oh, no, and Andy did have a question for you. No, I did not. From you. What did your mum want to know? No, you should ask it. You should ask it.

You should ask it. You should. Mum wanted a new high school in Kimu. Well, that's an interesting request of Santa. I'd like a high school. A high school. Well, do you know there's a lot of population growth out there? There is.

So I wouldn't be surprised if the ministry constantly looking at where we might need new schools. I don't personally make those decisions. Right. About new schools. Okay. I'm sure my mother knew that too. I'll pass it on. Pass it on.

Okay. Do you have a question, August? No. Well, August has turned her microphone on. Yeah, I know on. Pass it on, okay. Do you have a question, August? No. Well, August has turned her microphone on. Yeah, I know. She turned it on like she was going to. It was a real Tova O'Brien microphone turn on. No questions.

No questions. What have you, so what is, you've got to have your phone on you, but what have you got planned for? Nothing. That's so good. Yeah, nothing. No alarms. I have nothing planned.

I have a lot of quality time with a two-and-a-half-year-old plan. That's good. Right. Great. Have you done any Christmas shopping? Have you had time? I've done. It's very piecemeal for me this year.

So I've basically been ordering things online, trying to keep it Kiwi, though, of course. Right. That's mostly because I just haven't had a chance to go shopping. Shopping at local but online is a good way of doing it. Very awkwardly, one of the things I ordered got sent to the wrong place and I had to call a random stranger to say, I think you've got my passport.

What? To the lovely builder in Grey Lynn. I'm sorry about that. Thanks for popping it in your letterbox. And you like swooped past in a crown limo and you're like, get that. Sent Clark to get a bit. He probably would have got a shock from that wee voicemail. He had a parcel

addressed to Jacinda Ardern and what it accidentally went. I don't think it was signed for. I think it might have just been left at his house. So was this a joke? Was it an old address or they just got the wrong address? Without getting into too much detail that gives it was just just one simple wrong thing that sent it to the wrong place in the address.

So when you buy things online, do you say, send to Jacinda Ardern? Yeah. And how many notes do you get in the parcels? Oh, sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes we count down shopping, we'll get a little note in it.

Oh, really? Yeah, it's nice. That's good. Doing the shopping online and getting it delivered. Very handy. Very handy. So what would be your message to New Zealand at the end of what has been quite the year?

I feel like the 31st of December is going to be less of a celebration of 2021 and more of a middle finger to 2020. Yeah. Yeah. My message is just to say thank you. There's lots of chat about New Zealand relative to other places in the world. And yes, we have had amazing people

who have helped get us here. You know, the scientists, the epidemiologists, amazing people. But none of it would have worked without Kiwis. Because ultimately it takes everyone to stop a virus and they've done that. And so I just say thank you. Awesome.

What an incredible country. We've got a gift for you here. Oh. I believe, can we come back after the break? We're going to come back after the break and give you a present. Yeah, because I did notice. You gave no warning.

I did notice that you gave Mike Hosking a present and Duncan Garner. Well, that's because they warned me and they said we're going to do a present. Yeah, because I didn't notice... You gave no warning. I didn't notice that you gave Mike Hosking a present and Duncan Garner. Well, that's because they warned me and they said we're going to do a present exchange. But it's Christmas. Hey, but you know what, guys? Yeah? I do have three Mike Hosking's face masks.

Oh, wow. That's what everybody's always wanted. I am willing to stand for those. All right. All right. Okay, well, we're going to come back next and we've got a present for you. Thank you.

Because we heard that Premier House needed a spruce up. It's a bit dated, maybe. I haven't really talked about that too much. Other people have been talking about that. I'm quite happy to have a situation where it doesn't matter if Niamh spills things. Yeah. Right?

You've got a two and a half year old. Take your beetroot salmon and gin in the lounge. What's the worst that's going to happen? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern is in studio with us and before she leaves, we have a Christmas gift. Oh, Executive Indian Army's got the tea

there. That's great. Just one tea to the next. What is your tea of choice? That's just a plain old gumboot tea with milk. Right. You just received a phone call and you said, I'll call you back. Who was that? Was it the Prime Minister of another country?

It could have been another world leader. It was the Deputy Prime Minister of our country. Oh, Grant Robertson. I was just like, oh my God, it's Angela Merkel. She's called it the worst time. I'll call you back, Angela. We schedule those calls. You just had the queen on this.

You were talking to the queen. Yes, yeah, that was amazing. A couple of times this year has checked in on us, which is really lovely. I think she's got a soft spot for us. Does that ever get, like that must be, because that's not the first time you've talked to her. No.

But does it ever get any, not easy, what's the word I'm after? Like, that must be surreal, a surreal experience every time. It is. Yeah, it is every time. You have to prep yourself, like, hello, your majesty. I do always make sure that I have the right titles. Yeah. Because the first time I met her,

they ran me through what I was meant to do, where I was meant to stand, where I was meant to stand, what I was meant to say, you know, how I was meant to bow. And I completely stuffed it up. I just walked in and just went straight over to her. True, shocker you like. How's that?

So how's that, Lizzie? She was really good about it, though. All right, well, before you leave, we have a present and we've heard... This is large. Yeah, it is. We've heard that Premier House needs a spruce up. Now, you haven't said this, but people are saying

maybe it's a bit dated for, you know, a Prime Minister's residence. They fixed the leaks. Right. You got nice landlords then. Yeah, nice landlords. Take them to the Trobue. We haven't... My landlord, incidentally, maybe me.

But is this going to deal with my rodent problem? Is that what this is? Well, it may scare them away. We've got rodents in there. Good God. No, to be fair. Tear it down. To be fair.

It's a heritage home. They're in the roof, which makes it quite difficult. But quite noisy. Yeah, yeah, because they're scampering above it. Right, okay. Yeah, but anyway, so you would all open this. Okay. Okay.

I'm already very embarrassed. Oh. Wow. Wow. Look at that. I mean, I don't have a pool room. But if you've got like a spot. Made in the foyer.

I feel like this would be a legitimate piece of decor for a carpeted garage. Yes. Yeah, well, you've got to get the dampness off the underside of your holden, don't you? For those listeners that can't see, there's a picture of Vaughan and I as 80s glam rockers on a couch. On a leather couch. On a leather couch. And yes, that is a stain on Vaughan's. You look like blonde John Bon Jovi.

Thank you, yes. Do you know it's a big stain on Vaughan's jeans? I think it's a shadow. No, it's a stain. Let's say it's a shadow. Yeah. Yes. I agree to disagree.

My children are selling me out. It's not a stain, children. Stop telling the Prime Minister I don't wash my pants. It is. I would wager it's a shadow. Yeah. Yes. I agree to disagree. My children are selling me out. It's not a stain, children. Stop telling the Prime Minister I don't wash my pants. It is. I would wager it's a stain. Yeah, I think it is a stain. This is delightful. I have no idea what I'll do with it.

It's rather large for the listeners. It is over a metre in size. It's quite large. Thank you. You're welcome. You don't have to be kind about it. I'll be checking that you haven't put that in a bin outside before you jump in the crowd.

I'm now going to have to do five more radio interviews with this in my arm. So thank you guys. Oh, I appreciate it. Merry Christmas. Thank you for all that you've done this year. Thank you. It's been a hell of a year. I would have tapped out about March 3rd.

I would have been like, your turn, Deputy. Oh no, it was Winston then. I wouldn't have done that to us. Alright. Thank you very much. Thanks a lot, guys. Alright. Merry Christmas. Now, I'm going to be honest, we've run out of time for the 12 Days of Fletchmas

and the Naughty and Nice list. I don't want to rush through this. No. Because it's a big present today and, you know, we've got to have time for this segment. So, it will be coming up before 9 o'clock, the 12 Days of Fletchmas. But what I can tell you now is that this year, I guess because we haven't had a lot to do, it's put a smile on my face. We've been smashing TikTok. 2.8 billion

hours worth of TikTok worldwide. That is nuts. How many billion people are there on the planet? 7 billion people. I only know that because of Justin Bieber's song. The educator. The great Justin Bieber. The population educator. So what? So Bieber. The population educator.

So what? So 2.8 billion hours. Yes. And how long is the average TikTok? 20 seconds? No. Less? Hold on, we'll just, we'll cross to my children who are our TikTok correspondents.

Okay, so here's a stat for you. TikTok is available in over 150 markets in 39 languages. And the latest statistics show 500 million TikTok users in the world. Is it allowed in China? Like, is it allowed in the big population basis, China and India? I don't know. Because I know China banned Facebook and other sites. But when you divide a couple of billion hours by 500 million, that's a lot.

Per person. Last year, I can give you the stats, it was 726 million hours. So we've jumped a bit. 2.8 billion. Yeah, we've been stuck inside, haven't we?

And you think if the average one lasts 15 seconds, so four of them make up a minute and 60 minutes in an hour. So 240 to the hour. Wow. That's a whole bunch to the hour. Wow. That's a whole bunch of TikToks. Cheers. And my dancing

certainly hasn't got any better. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Friday. Megan just looked at the show planner and yes, you have been stitched up. Well, not yet. That might happen after this.

Yeah. Depending on the circumference of the head. Okay. Oh, my God. Sorry for saying that. It just came out. Okay. So, the final show, we always do a Christmas song for Friday Flashback.

And there has been some debate in the studio because I personally, when we played that Crazy Frog Christmas song the other day, was filled. I've never seen you film with such Christmas joy. And Megan's like, oh, we can't do that again because it won't be as good the second time around. No, I really liked Kelly Clarkson one. You were like, no, it sucks. Well, nobody knows it. But it's...

You know when artists try to do an original Christmas song? Stop it. And we all do love Mariah Carey, but we've played it, like, just recently. Have you seen that Christmas song Mariah Carey's in with Ariana Grande in? No. And they whistle. Why is she trying though? She doesn't need to try and do another Christmas song.

She's got the ultimate. She can't beat her own. Maybe she's got a bit of a challenge for herself. So, I don't know which one to do. Do you want to do Crazy Frog? Because I feel like the votes are in for Crazy Frog, especially because you've got your daughters in this morning and they really want Crazy Frog.

I think they, do you guys want Crazy Frog? Yes! Yep. See, which Crazy Frog? Jingle Bells or Last Christmas? Well,

which is the one that we played the other day? Was it Last Christmas? I think we had a taste of both. I think Last Christmas? Well, which is the one that we played the other day? Was it Last Christmas? I think we had a taste of both. I think Last Christmas. That's more of a... It's a... Like, that's a Wham song, isn't it? Right, yeah.

It's an ode to George Michael. Now, are you going to play this frog? What did you light up like that for? Well, no, I'm always just concerned when I'm going to play something off my laptop that nothing's going to interrupt it. Nothing dodgy. Yeah.

But that has happened in the past where you remember that thing popped up. Yeah. Or my wife tries to use a Spotify at home halfway through and it jumps to the device she's using. Even though she's got her own Spotify account. Yeah. Unbelievable. Anyway. Okay. You ready? Alright, yep.

Let's do it. Crazy. This is your Friday flashback. Crazy frog. Yes, yes, yes. You were wrong. And it's funny the second time. Alright, sit in. Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy I keep my distance but you still catch my eye Tell me baby, do you recognize me? Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me Happy Christmas, I ripped been a year, it doesn't surprise me Happy Christmas I ripped it up and sent it with a note Saying I love you, I meant it Now I know what a fool I've been

But if you kiss me now, I know you'll fool me again Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special A crowded room, friends with tired eyes I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice My God, I thought you were someone to rely on Me, I guess I was a shoulder to cry on A face on the level with a fight in his heart

A man undercover but you tore me apart Ooh, now I found a real love, you'll never fool me again Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day day you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special. Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special.

It's last Christmas on ZM. It's Megan's Friday Flashback. And see, I think it was a great choice. She's gonna take four months off to recover from the feedback. Which, no, it hasn't been that bad.

I do agree with that text That's come in Too much human Not enough frog Yeah I agree I agree too The original frog Was nothing but frog

But that was Far more Human and Christmas Than frog But I don't think The ratio was out of balance Yeah I didn't want to hear Another Snoopy's Christmas

On Mariah Carey We get enough of that That was Good to hear I don't think I've heard Snoopy's Christmas this year This time round It's long It's like five minutes It starts Like boom Yeah We get enough of that. That was a good test. I don't think I've heard Snoopy's Christmas this year, this time around. It's long.

It's like five minutes. It starts with like boom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, you know what's up. Now, today is our last show for the year before we're back on the 18th of January. And it's the last time we're going to hear Megan on the radio, unless we call you up.

You can call me up. We'll call you up. Maybe we'll see how you're getting on. You'll be away until May on maternity leave. And you're due February 8th. Yeah. Yeah. Why?

Don't go over because my birthday is February 20th. Don't. And people are always like. Isn't it cute to share a birthday with a baby? No. No. So I don't have as many birthdays left as the baby. So I only have all to be about. Oh, my God. Do you just share a birthday with a baby? No. No? Yeah. So I don't have as many birthdays left as the baby,

so I only have all to be about me. Oh, my God. That's so creepy. So we have a little something in the bag. But before that, we just wanted to say how very proud of you we are. Oh, don't. No. No, don't do this.

No, we are. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We are. No, like, we talked about after you said that you guys had been struggling for a while. Can you get the tissues, please? With fertility. And we were like, even Fletch said this. We had to talk about it, just Fletch and I.

And I was like, I'm so surprised that you went through and carried on as unbelievably professionally as you did. Yeah. Through that whole process. And like even just being on the other side, I remember when my wife was pregnant, that's a hell of a time and you've powered through and you've like turned up every day

and you've been unbelievably professional and such an integral part of the show during that. And all those times, even before you were pregnant, where you guys were struggling with it and, yeah, you powered on. We still need to hear that cul-de-sac story though at some stage. It's absolutely not for the radio. Next year. I don't even – I've been thinking about that story a lot.

I don't even know how you'd package that for the radio. I don't either. It's just part of the Megan and Andrew's journey. Mythos. That one day hopefully – Megan and Andrew's journey. Methos. That one day, hopefully. Megan and Mr. Toyboy. Yep. Methos.

But we thought that we would get a little montage of. Oh, God. Put together of, I guess you'd say advice. Yeah. Kind words from some famous New Zealand mums that we know you admire. Oh, please. So here is a collection of awesome New Zealand mums with words of wisdom for you ahead of your journey of motherhood. Mama number one.

Believe it, mama. Ursula Carlson. Dear Megan, you're about to bring a life into this world. What a beautiful experience. What you're going to experience is a lot of weird smells and some black poop out of your baby. But that child is half South African, so just throw meat at it and play some country music.

It should be fine. You're gonna wonder for those first six weeks, what the you got yourself into, but after that, the joy of motherhood will still astound you and you go, why are women happy? It's too late, you're gonna have that that kid anyway, but good luck, mate. I'm sure it's going to be a beautiful experience. Ask for help if you need it.

Ask. Mama number two. Jacinda Ardern. Hi, Megan. Generally, I would avoid trying to give any advice, having been in that position before. But I think the most valuable thing anyone ever told me was just to trust your own instincts.

You'll know what to do. Mama number three, Dame Valerie Adams. I heard you are having a baby boy. My number one tip is when you're changing to be a nappy, close your mouth because accidents do happen. But enjoy the moment because they do grow up real quick. Susie Kato. You're about to embark on the most amazing journey

and it's going to go on for years and years and years. But I tell you what, it will have so many ups and downs, but each of those moments will be so, so precious. Look after you as much as you're going to look after that beautiful babe. Much aroha. It's your time. Kia ora. Kalofa. Trillise Cooper. It's like getting on a plane. Put drone mask on first and then deal with the person next to you. I'm going to say that about a newborn. Mummy first, then baby. Good luck.

Gemma McCaw. Hi, Megan. Congratulations on your wee baby that you'll be having soon. As we know, it takes a village, so my top tip, accept help when people offer. I'm sure you'll be great. Take care of yourself.

Madeline Sami. Megan. Hey. You're not that. That's pretty cool. You're about to be a mom. That's so awesome. Motherhood, it's amazing.

You know, I feel like there's a lot of peer pressure on moms, and we found when we first had our girl that we just needed to block all that out and be in tune with her, what she needed, and not put pressure on ourselves to kind of do things certain ways. So that would be my one bit of advice. Yeah, enjoy it, mate. Good luck. Dr Susie Wiles.

Hi, my advice for Megan is don't sweat the small stuff. You know, none of us really knew what we were doing when we first took our babies home, so you'll be absolutely fine. Good luck. Jackie Brown. Hi, Megan. If I could offer any advice at all,

it would be enjoy it. Just cocoon yourself in this special little moment. Anyway, all the best. And if you need to take drugs during birth, just take them all. The mama of the nation. Hi, Megan. It's Hilary Barry here. I'm so excited you're having a baby. But I do feel I need to give you some advice as the mother of a boy baby. Very important when you're changing a boy baby that you always have the second nappy ready to go.

Because you know what? When you unleash this nappy, you're going to get very wet. So go like this, because if you don't, you're going to get very wet. So go like this, because if you don't, you're going to get really, really wet. And the most important mama, your mama, Ray Ray. Megan, when we found out that you were pregnant, we were thrilled because we knew that you'd had a very difficult journey. Some people find it so easy to have babies and others, there's so many people out there who struggle. I'm struggling. Megan, you're going to be a wonderful mother because you've always been

very caring. You're always looking out for other people so this little person is going to be very special. It's just a new nature to be caring. Get as much rest as you can. Be easygoing, no pressures. What will be will be. You just have to take every day as it comes because every day is different. God bless Megan. We're very proud of what you've achieved in your lifetime. Dad and I both love you and hope this is all going to be wonderful.

I think it's kind of exciting. My world is a better place because of you. Wow. Lucky we got the tissues. Oh, that absolutely broke me. My mum even sounded different there. I know. Because she's so serious.

I'd never hear her like that. I know. When we were putting the video together, I was like, when we were getting all the videos, I was like, oh, Ray. It got me. At the time, I was like, when we were getting all the videos, I was like, oh, Ray. It got me at the time. I was like, that's some good stuff. We're not the type of family to say

like, I love you to each other. I know. Yeah. So, yeah. God. What an amazing bunch of women. That's the best present you've ever got me. It's absolutely ruined me.

That's so lovely, honestly. And there's video of it all too, so you can take that. That's so awesome. Thank you to every one of them. Thank you to you guys. Honestly, I've had so many lovely messages on my

Instagram and email that I honestly can't keep up. But people are so kind. And I know that a lot of people say when you get pregnant, you get lots of unwanted advice and stuff. But it's all just been so kind and caring. So yeah, thank you.

Thanks to everyone. I'm actually just broken. We've still got so much of the show to do. All right, we'll give you a three-minute break. And come back next. Fletchfawn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. The 12 Days of Fletchmas.

Well, it's the last day of the 12 Days of Fletchmas. I've been asking you to register at ZM Online. Tell us if you're on the naughty or the nice list. And then I decide who gets the present today. Who's on the nice list?

Rachel, good morning. Good morning. Now why are you on the nice list for 2020? I am on the nice list because I think my five-year-old chose the Christmas wrapping paper, which destroyed my Christmas vision. Ah, children, always destroying Christmas.

I could imagine Megan, who runs a very tight theme every Christmas. I'm very serious about my wrapping. Would you, do you think you'll let, when you do have little Lorenz, do you think you'll let him choose the Christmas wrapping? No, no, no, absolutely not. What if he decides one year he's drawn his own wrapping paper?

Oh, no, can that be for the dog or something? Wow. I know there's so much effort because they have to draw so much to make enough of the wrapping paper. So, and it's really kind of doing your head in a bit. What doesn't match? It doesn't match.

I'm trying for white and gold and she chose colours and words and so. Words. Colours and words. Well, I'll tell you what, Megan does think that's very, very nice of you. Yeah, it is. Rachel, wait there. Hold the line. Ho, ho, ho!

Who's on the naughty list? Well, Jared, good morning. Morning, team. Why are you on the bad list? I work in horticulture. It's a pretty dirty job. And when I get home and I'm all dirty, my wife will offer to give me a shoulder massage. But when I'm clean, I don't really get the offer.

So she doesn't know this, but for the last month I've been working in the office, and as I leave the office, I just smear a bit of dirt on my legs and my arms and walk in the door and, oh, what a day, and effectively get myself a free shoulder massage. Wait, so if you're dirty, she's of the opinion you've been out there doing hard graft all day. Yep, yep. But if you've been sitting in an office chair and not got dirty, she's got no interest in... Pretty much.

In massaging you. Because you don't need it. That's right. That's actually quite genius. That is quite genius, yeah. What are you smearing on yourself and where are you putting it? Like legs? You said legs. Oh, legs. Shoulders. Face That is quite genius, yeah. What are you smearing on yourself? Where are you putting it? Like legs? You said legs.

Oh, legs, shoulders, face, arms. Yeah, yeah. Depends how much of a massager I want. Just want a bit of potting mix or? No, you'll get Legionnaires disease. I was going to say, you ought to be very careful. And do you do a few star jumps in the driveway to kind of get on? Sweety?

Just run up the driveway. Okay. Right. Has anyone at work seen you smearing yourself in grease? Multiple people. And they're in on the...

Yeah. They just think I'm crazy. So she prefers it when you're like... Or is it just the fact that you've had a hard day and that you'd be sore? Just had a hard day.

She thinks I'm sore but really I've just been sitting at the office all day. What a sweet trick. I love it. All right. Now, I know that Rachel was doing a nice thing, letting her kid choose the wrapping paper,

but I cannot go past Jared's genius plan. To get a shoulder rub. To get a shoulder rub. So, Jared, congratulations. You have won today's 12 Days of Fletchers. I'm going to open up the gift here. Awesome. Here we go.

It's on shape. Oh, you have won the full knife set and knife block from New World. Oh, wow. Megan's been trying to collect this forever awesome awesome you don't need to borrow you don't need to collect the stamps you just have it you've got it all and it's well now my wife is nice for christmas it's working yeah fantastic there we go congratulations and joy megan's not one of those at all. I'll keep collecting the stickers. How's about how we just did something so touching

and nice for you ten minutes ago and now straight back in your face. And now you're just like you don't get these knives. Hey, you made it awkward for him. He's like,

oh, do I accept that? Oh, God. I didn't hear any awkwardness in his voice. He pretty much jumped at the opportunity to answer me. He pretty much wants them

so bad like you do, Megan. Yeah. Wow. The difference is he's getting them, I suppose. Great. Do you want to wish him? Hey, Merry Christmas. You bloody enjoy those.

Thank you very much. I got one, actually, one stamp yesterday you can have. Thank you. Are you just rambling in this awkwardness now? Absolutely. Okay, cool. Yeah. Nah.

Nah what? Nah, those are for you actually, Megan. We've got another present for you. Yeah, you've actually won a coffee machine. You've won a... Like a Nespresso-y thing. You've won a Nespresso coffee machine, Jared. Oh, wow.

Cool. Are those actually for me? And we actually did get Megan the knife set. Did you? The block. Actually, I think it's Megan the knife set. Did you? The block. Actually, I think it's just the block. The knife block? Yeah.

Did you actually? Are you going to take that off? Is that a joke? No, they heard you whinging about it yesterday and they sent it in. Oh, so I'm not thanking you, I'm thanking you. Absolutely, you should be thanking us. And here's all those stamps that you thought I'd spent. So you can finish off your knife set collection.

Yes. Yeah. Merry Christmas. Thank you. Don't mess with a pregnant woman. Next on the show. Can I just say, in 27 minutes, we've done two very nice things. Yes.

That's got to be us forever, right? This is just a great moment. Yeah. Great day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day Is about the three wise men

You'll be familiar with them from the nativity story Yes They arrived with frankincense, myrrh and gold Gold, yes Fact of the day is about the three wise men. You'll be familiar with them from the nativity story. Yes. They arrived with frankincense, myrrh and gold. Gold, yes. Yeah, I have the gold. But today's fact of the day about the three wise men is three wise men were following Uranus. Grow up, Gordon Smith.

Grow up. No, I'm not laughing. I'm straight faced. You knew what you were doing. Oh, I see the point. They were following Uranus. They were following a star. Of course. No, I'm not laughing. I'm straight faced. You knew what you were doing. Oh, I see the point. They were following Uranus. Of course they were, Megan. What did you think they were following?

I just thought he was being a dick. So Professor David Hughes is a, well, he's a professor. He's got a doctorate. He's an astronomer and he was associated with the University of Sheffield. And he said, what star would they have been following? The famous star that they followed when they came across the manger and Jesus was in it with all their gifts. What were they following? So he sort of like backtracked.

He worked out whereabouts it was, Bethlehem and the area. And then he said, okay, at that time of the year when he was born, which is more likely to be like June, July than it is December, but December is when Christmas is celebrated. This year. What? What did not happen at Christmas? Oh, horn.

I've got a whole reckoning for you. I've been lied to this whole time. I know. There's a couple of fibs. There's a couple of short stories there. Are you telling me it's semi-fictional? Semi. Quasi based on a true story.

Right. Okay. Semi-fictional. Semi. Quasi based on a true story. Right. So he said the most likely explanation for the series of events would have been a triple conjunction between Jupiter and Saturn. They would have been coming close together. They did that in the sky three times over a short period. Right. And he said, but that probably, that was his first theory. But then he's like, actually, you know what?

It would have actually been Uranus. The planet Uranus would have been bright, and then that position in the sky 2,000 years ago, so if they did follow the brightest star in the sky at that time, it would most likely have been Uranus, or Uranus, depending on your pronunciation. I'd be terrible navigating by the stars. I'm just like, all I can ever see is the pot. Yeah. I can't even see the cross one.

It's the Southern Cross one. Nah, neither. Because what do you do with the Southern Cross? There's pointers or something? Yeah, but you go down in the middle of them? I don't know. I don't know. You're always like, is that it?

You don't need to. Hang on, there's like four stars. That's got to be it. Isn't it like in a kite shape? But then there's a few that are like a kite. I know. That's the thing about the pot. I'll be like, there's the pot. And people will be like, that's got to be it. Isn't it like in a kite shape? But then there's a few that are like a kite shape. I know, that's the thing about the pot. I'll be like, there's the pot. And people will be like, that's not the pot.

And I'll be like, well, it's five stars in the form of a pot. It's the Vaughan pot. Okay, to use the Southern Cross to find South. Mate, you've got an iPhone. It's got a compass on it. We don't need this anymore. That's totally the easiest way to do it. Yeah. You follow it down, you hit another star, you go down, that's got an iPhone. It's got a compass on it. Yeah, exactly. We don't need this anymore. That's totally the easiest way to do it. Yeah.

Yeah. You follow it down. You hit another star. You go down. That's where South is. Ta-da. Or you just open up your iPhone and you go, which way is South? Yeah, easy.

It'll tell you. So today's fact of the day is it was most likely the star the three wise men were following to find a baby Jesus. Baby Jesus. Baby Jesus was Uranus. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. A nine-year-old girl's pretty extravagant wish list. Two Santas gone viral.

Her older brother shared it. I don't know. The older brother's just like, ha, look at this. Because some of the things she's asking for are, well, actually all of them are pretty crazy. What planet is she on? Yeah. When you're a kid, your wish list was always shooting for the stars. Yeah. You always asked for all the, your wish list was always shooting for the stars. Yeah. You always asked for all the big ticket items.

There's no parameters. They say, what would you like? It's a wish list. Yeah. Doesn't mean you're getting it. Yeah. Exactly. So this is the letter and I'll follow with the list.

Okay. Dear beloved Father Christmas, I hope you've had a wonderful year and you've been well. My year has been quite the opposite. I've tried hard to be good but miserably failed. I think that's spelt right too. I'll be honest, I do deserve a coal. But please, I'd love to have a present. Actually more than one. Here's a list.

Tick the boxes if you have them. I do hope you succeed in getting, in fulfilling my requested items. So after each, there's a list of 12 things and there's a little box afterwards. Now here we go. Listen to this list.

AirPods. She's nine, okay? AirPods, games, console, a snake. A snake? Yeah. Who would want a snake? My nearly nine-year-old wants a snake, but you can't have snakes in New Zealand.

Even zoos aren't allowed snakes. Yeah, because they'll slither out. Slither up the pipe now. Yeah. A PS5 and 4 and a Nintendo Switch. PS5 and 4 and a Nintendo Switch. That's all under one. That's under the gaming umbrella.

Yeah. This kid also admitted that they failed miserably at being nice. Yeah. A DJ set. A trip to France. Good luck, mate. The president of France just got diagnosed with COVID. He did. Yeah, McCrombs got it.

Which is that also the name of that real nice biscuit? A little wee. It's like a little pavlova, isn't it? Really hard to make, apparently. Yeah, they are. There's those blue ones that Grogu, Baby Yoda,

was eating. Yes. Those looked really yum. Yeah. A iPhone 12, a mobile laptop, a new computer, it just has in brackets

the latest, hand sanitiser, a whole book set of the wizards of once, and a panda and a penguin in brackets not dead. So a real life panda and penguin. Yeah, and maybe like not stuffed animals. She wants a snake, a panda and a penguin for her zoo.

Good Lord. So yeah, I mean, I don't know how Santa's going to get on with all of that. That's a lot for one child. But hey, you got to put it out there, don't you? It's trying my best to spoil a little SHIT. I think so. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Just received a message from Julia,

who is listening to a very old podcast. Of the show? Of the show, yeah. And we've had a few of these messages lately. There was a fact of the day once, and I believe we touched on mustelids. What? Mustelids.

What is that? It's an animal. I don't even remember. It's a breed. It's like your stoats, your ferrets, your weasels. Oh, yep, yuck. I'm just going to confirm that that's mustelids. Yes, mustelid.

Still got it. A lot of useless stuff right laying around in here. And I think somebody sent this after COVID broke out and there was all this talk about how it may have been in that wet market. There may have been a ferret in the cages that led to it changing. And I said,

musselids and how they can catch the common cold and we share some viruses with them, et cetera. And watch out. Yeah, watched out that. And then we were like, well, maybe that'll be the next big one. them, et cetera. And watch out. Yeah, watched out that. Yeah. And then we were like, well, maybe that'll be the next big one. And then whoops. Here it is.

I'm not saying we caused it, but I'm saying we may have predicted it. But then people sent that in and they're like, this is freaky. And it's like, well, it's not really because it was just a fact. Well, Bill Gates has been saying this is coming for years. You remember his famous TED talk? The next big pandemic. Yeah, yeah, for sure. That's our biggest big world problem.

Yeah. And it's the same, I think, with Nostradamus, who people are like, oh, he predicted that. There's also tens of thousands of things that he predicted that have not happened when he said it was going to happen. And we are the Nostradamus. He wrote lots of journals and we talk a bunch of bullshit every day. So when you talk as much BS as we do,

we've been talking at least four hours of nonsense every day for the last 16 years. Well, as that person described it on Reddit, what did they say it was? Oh, what was the... What was that term? Executive Internar, you might know the wording of how that person described the show on Reddit.

Maybe you said, you took great joy in how somebody described the show. Speaking the musings of the show. Wasn't it desperate trollop? Degenerative trollop. Yeah. Degenerative trollop. Yeah.

Okay. That stung. We've still got feelings. But some have called, Julie has called you the Vaughn Adamus. Vaughn Adamus. Because there's been the muscle thing and then we're like,

there's been pandemic chat over the years. And this from 2013 in an interview with Armie Hammer, who at the time was promoting the movie The Lone Ranger. Oh, you haven't got my thing turned up, have you? Yeah, it is. It's up. It's on. Mine's up.

It's on. It's on the phone, thousands of kilometres away as we speak to him via the miracle that I still don't understand of modern telecommunications technology is Armie Hammer. Hey, guys. You guys are far. We are quite isolated. Yeah. Which is going to be great when something really bad happens.

Right. Yeah. Oh, totally. That's the place to get to. Yeah. Everybody's well known. You guys originally got there on kayaks. I think I got a chance. Yeah. Well, you will not be allowed in. We will Oh, totally. That's the place to get to. Yeah, everybody's well known. You guys originally got there on kayaks. I think I got a chance.

Yeah, well, you will not be allowed in. We will be closing borders. Yeah, I'm sure. Even to the Lone Ranger, the wall will be up when something bad happens. Wow, look at that. Vorn and Darmus predicted the closing of borders. We're a well-established nation on an island with a lot of resources here, and if that did happen, that would be the most sensible thing to do.

Do we have to pay that old radio station we work for a fee for that? Like an audio fee or something? No, no, no, no. We were drastically underpaid for years. So that's like the fee. Oh, if Freddie is any of that. Oh, right. Well, I mean, they do keep hosting our podcast.

It's odd, but... I don't know, it's a weird move. It's a weird move. Get hits where you can, baby. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and clean to listen to?

Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music. Live here. ZM.