ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 18th May 2020

Episode Date: May 17, 2020

Talking loudly spread Covid19   Hand Sanitiser Poll  Hype Hype Hooray  Spacejunk  Who did you have to turn away at work?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. All thanks to McCafe. Get a delicious barista-made coffee from Macca's drive-thru today. ZM. Hit music. Live the air. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

Good morning. Good morning. A day when a lot of people are going back to work for the first time. Into the office. And back to school. And back to school, yeah. Yes. Exciting.

Ah. Fuel girls go back? Yes. I mean, they're not awake now, so that must be a good thing. Without looking forward to it, we're looking forward to it. It's mutually being looked forward to. Okay. There's no shame in that.

Yeah. It's all right to love your children, but ship them off five days a week for six hours a day. But if you send them to boarding school, we know you don't love them. So, that's just that. But no, teachers who probably can't have

a morning wine this morning, I mean, they probably can, but just be a bit more discreet about it. Switch it up, have a Bailey in your coffees.

Yes. Bailey's in your coffee. Or why not just have a little bit of coffee in your Bailey's? Yeah. It's your first day back after all, you deserve it. Yeah, a new coffee. Or why not just have a little bit of coffee in your Bailey's. Yeah. It's your first day back after all.

You deserve it. Yeah. Ease into it. Yeah. Ease into it. Push the boat out with some sustained silent reading this morning.

ACSR. Yeah. Get a bit of that going on. Even if they can't read just see what they're capable of. Is that how your homeschooling went? Sustained silent reading. Some silent reading.

It's the great saviour of our times. There's no doubt about it. The top six coming up. Yeah, Chris Hemsworth's Neighbours plot is for sale. Want to live next door to the Hemsworths? The top six. Hot points about living next to the Hemsworths. They have lots of trees, though.

Am I going to be able to see things? You'd probably cut down all the trees to the border, to the Hemsworths. They have lots of trees, though. Am I going to be able to see things? You'd probably cut down all the trees to the border, to the boundary. I'd imagine so. Build a tower so you can peer in. And then ring back a couple of their trees so you can see right in. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Now, I was just looking at my cellular telephone.

And I'm just having my morning European's advance. Is that what it's called? I still got a sore neck. Every morning? Uh-huh. I don't know if you meant to wash it down with coffee, like water mostly. Right. Delicious.

No, I've just been having it since I've got the sore neck. Right. Which is getting better. Thanks for your inquiries. How's your neck? Yeah, no, it's getting better, thanks for asking. And I was enjoying on my cellular telephone memes, chatting with pals and various other things. And I thought, what a wonderful modern convenience.

Now, not everybody would agree because there have been some five of these set on fire recently in Auckland alone. Five now? Cell towers. Yes. Yeah. People are setting fire to cell towers and arson attacks. Now, I believe this is the anti-5G brigade. Yes, it is.

And their fear-mongering ways. But then pre-COVID, it was just, what was the conspiracy? That the towers were... Transmitting COVID or amplifying. Look, I don't know. There was a bunch of them because they were dumb. But then COVID came along and they attached COVID to the 5G conspiracy that the government was using it to activate the virus.

I saw a lot of people saying, well, why on the second day of lockdown did they start putting them up? It was because they were scheduled to be put up then and communications is considered an essential service, so it just carried on business as per usual, so people could have jobs and stuff. But yeah, no, sure, conspiracies are fun too. But you look like a monkey whacking a spaceship with a stick.

Actually, yeah, you do. And well, except you've got fire, so good work you. You're the next step up. But when you're driving home and your car cranes into a ditch and you're slowly dying and you reach for your cell phone to call for the ambulance and you can't because you've just burned down the tower. Good Lord, that was dark.

There's that too. Or if one of your family members needs an ambulance and they can't because you burnt down the tower. Also, the ones that are burning down, are they even 5G towers? No, some of them haven't been. No, they're the ones that we've been happily using for 15 years. Oh, good one. So I get peeved off now when you go into an area and it's like 3G.

It's like, oh, yuck. I know. I walk around my house and it's like 3G and then I find the 4G spot. I'm like, yeah. Yuck. 3G. I don't even have that. Yuck. You wouldn't understand. I find the 4G spot I'm like, yeah. Yuck, 3G. I don't even have that. Yuck.

You wouldn't understand. I live in the city 4G all the time. Yeah, well I'm never going to get bloody 4G covering my whole house if everybody keeps burning them down

because I'm pretty sure when they put up the new flash ones we get your old putty handouts. Yeah. Really? Yeah, they're like,

oh, that inner city one where they've finished with that they've put up a 5G one. And QMU's like, can we have your 4G so we can get internet in the bathroom, please? My Wi-Fi's real shit. Real slow. Yep.

That's what you get. Yep, good. I mean, they're not the most attractive thing in the world, but we've talked about this before, mate. They look like palm trees or something. That's what they do overseas. I'm so down for that. They're going to have to start putting security on these things, aren't they?

I know. Like cameras and stuff. Just don't. Don't do it. It's embarrassing for everyone. And also rate yourself that people like that the government wants to mind control you. You've already proven you're sadly lacking in the area. Okay?

Rate yourself. We're not sleeper agents. I've seen your Facebook page. Like, Jesus, if they're recruiting you, it is desperate times. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Speaking loudly is now off the list. We're not allowed to do that, please.

Yeah, Vaughan. What? Because scientists have found that tiny droplets sprayed from people that are talking noisily can stay in the air for up to 14 minutes. The moist breath zone. What? The moist breath zone. Is there a moist

breath zone? There's a moist breath zone. Is that the one metre or the two metres? That's like 1.5 metres is the moist breast zone. The moist breast zone. Goodness me, you might be sweating. Because I have found that quite somewhat amusing during this whole COVID thing when we're socially distancing

and then someone takes exception to somebody not distancing enough so they then yell at them, which is probably more dangerous than just walking past someone closely. And I heard of that happening a lot at places when people had to write down their details. Yeah, right. There was a lot of yelling over the weekend, which you're yelling at someone.

Some people... Who? Have I told you what happened to me on Friday? No. This guy made a stand. I went to a store, electrical wholesaler place, and on the way in, I was very impressed. I'll say who it was because I was super impressed.

Why were you buying something at an electrical wholesaler? I need a timer switch. So you turn the switch on. You push the pins out like that. Yeah. And then when it gets to that thing, it turns on. Oh, why? And then it turns off. Why? Pull filter. Right. Yeah. And then when it tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, and when it gets to that thing, it turns on. Oh, why? And then it turns off.

Why? Pool filter. Right. Okay. Hey, you dug. You dug. You hit the gold. I asked.

You hit the gold. I asked. So J.A. Russell and Silverdale, which was where I went. And I went in, and at the thing they had a COVID-19

little stand, a little hand, Sani, write your name and number down or take a photo. Oh, I've been doing that. Yeah, the QR code. How good is that?

It's really good. You're at J.R. Russell, you click yes, and it opens up an email, you put in your name, your number, and you click send, and it tells them they've got your name, your number, what time you entered the store. And if you've got autofill on your browser or whatever, you just click it and you're done.

Yeah, it's super quick. So I went in. On the way out, a guy came in and he was like, I'm not giving you my name and my number. I know my rights. I know my privacy rights. This is an invasion of privacy. This young fella. Was he on his way to burn down

a 5G cell tower? Probably. He looked like the type. He was like, I'm not, I know my rights. And I was just like, well, those are going to be good. I'll just hang around. I'm going to slowly look at some stuff on the way out. Yeah. And he's like, I know my rights. I'm not giving you

that. Take down my car registration number if you want my details. And they're like, no, because then we've got your card registration details, but if we want to pay for those details, just write down your name and your number. He's like, absolutely not. I know my rights.

This is an invasion of privacy. This is Big Brother. This is how they get you. This is the first step. I was like, and then this young guy's like, and he's like, go get the manager. So the young guy's like, fine. And we got the manager,

and the manager just came out, and he was like, oh, you just got to write down your name and your number. He's like, absolutely not. It's my private details. You're not having it. Take down my registration number. But does he not understand contact tracing and the need

for that if something happens? Mate, there's no such thing. That's all. Check out your details. And the manager was like, oh yeah, no, you can't come in then. And the guy's like, you're going to turn me away. A paying customer. He's like, yeah, absolutely. See you later, mate. Get out. Oh, good on them. I was stoked for him. I was like, that is how it is done. Dickhead. I was stoked for them. I was like, that is how it is done. Dick head.

It's just giving it. Yeah, I heard about people yelling at, you know, like, store workers outside when they ask for their details. Like, screaming at them and saying it's their private information. It's like, well, you've got the choice then. Don't go in. Don't come in. This is the rules that are in place at the moment.

People are happily abiding by them. Did you have any customers not want to give you details? Everyone was so polite and yeah, everyone was great at our cafe. They'll change their tune when you email them out your daily specials next week because you've grabbed all their personal details.

Or ring them and be like, get me into the cafe for a couple of weeks, bitch. Where you at? I've got a muffin here with your name on it. Get on down. I can't be bothered going through everyone's details to be honest. Like, you know,

I don't care. But yeah, they found that the droplet stabbed the ear for 14 minutes. So don't talk loudly. They've got people to repeat the words

stay healthy at different volumes for 25 seconds. Stay healthy. They chose that because it has a th and a s. It needs a p.

It should be stay healthy people. Double p. Stay healthy please. P. You got your outer p. Right. So if you're going to take exception to someone. Stand back and then yell.

Stand back and speak. I was going to say speak quietly. Or loudly, sure. At a distance. Send them a message as long as the local 4G tower hasn't been burned down. Baby names are always changing with trends, with movies, with pop culture, even with coronavirus. What were those, twins? I'm feeling the pressure at the moment because I have to name a baby soon.

That's right. Your little kitty cat. When I get a cat, yeah. When is your cat? Friday. I'm getting it on Friday. Oh, my God. I'm going to be a cat dad on Friday.

Oh, my God. Still don't have a name. That was your last weekend alone. Yeah. In your apartment Yeah You're being an official Move-in resident

Were you alone? No I know that That face looks Sheepish Like somebody had a level 2 But hey Oh

That wasn't hilarious Excuse me Was I alone? Deny it You know I don't lie I don't lie I don't lie Did you keep it

Under 10 people? Yeah What? Of course I just know you're You know I don't lie. I don't lie. I don't lie. Did you keep it under 10 people? Yeah. What? Of course. I just know you're catching up to do. Under 10. Jesus Christ. Hey, you've got to ask these questions.

You've got to be safe. You've got to be safe. Actually, I did make everybody scan the code at the door. Yes. The QR code. Contact tracing. And I had a bottle of hand sanitizer on a table. Yeah. With my FBOS machine. Yes. Here's the QR code. Contact tracing. And I had a bottle of hand sanitizer on a table

with my FBOS machine. Tap and go. Yeah, good. You're like, don't insert it. Swipe it. Don't even swipe it. Tap and go.

Okay. So yeah, baby names. What are those twins called? Rona and... COVID? That's what people have said, like, oh, have you got a name yet? I'm like, no. They're like, why don't you call it something like Rones or Rona?

And I'm like, I don't want to be reminded of this time ever again. No. Well, there is one very popular female name that is dying out. It used to be hugely popular, and now it was, in 2019, the least chosen name with parents. Okay. Heather. Heather. Heather.

Oh, yeah, I feel like that, what, Heather Locklear? Yeah, sort of like parents' age Heathers. Was there a Heather Graham? There was a Heather Graham. She was in Austin Powers. That's right. The spy that shagged me. In 1969, it was a Disney TV movie called Guns and the Heather.

Right. And that's what created the original boom of the name Heather. In like the 80s or 90s. Wow. No, what was it? 1969. Oh, wow. Okay, so even sooner, right?

Yeah. And then it kind of just aged out. Right. So yeah, in 2019, Heather was one of the least chosen baby names. But it only takes like a famous character or a famous actor and that'll be back up. Yeah. But not if there are no... I can't think of any.

Like, can you think of a famous Heather apart from Heather Locklear? I can't even think of any Heathers I know. I know one. Heather, there's a TikTok star. Oh, there's Heather DePussy Allen. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's not swaying any people to name their baby, though, is it? There's not.

Heather's, no. Heather Locklear, Heather Graham. That would be such a, like, knowing that you were the boost of a name. Like, what a compliment. Because everyone thought you were cool enough to, like, knowing that you were the boost of a name, like, what a compliment. Because everyone thought you were cool enough to be like, yeah, I'm going to name my child after you. What a compliment. All right.

We're going to see a lot of Megans soon. Yeah, Megan Markle. Don't you dare roll in and try to take credit for that. Yeah, spell it with an H. Ouch. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there, the Hemsworths.

They have a house in Byron Bay. Their house, do you remember when they bought the section and there was a few locals complaining about the fact that it looked like a Westfield mall? Yeah. Well, it's nearing to completion and I can show you this photo.

It is actually looking a lot better than it was. Still looks like a Westfield mall. It's very boxy. It's quite boxy. It's got an infinity pool. Has it got more than one pool

or is that a tennis court at the front there? That's the pool. It's got a big outdoor. It looks like they could turn that top deck into an F45 gym. You know how much they love... It probably is. You know how much they love working out.

But they've been there. So have they moved into that? So not yet, because the house for sale is actually next door to the house they purchased to live in while their other house was being built. Right. They didn't rent a place. Look how good, eh? How good.

So there was a house there that they bought for $7 million and bulldozed it. And now they're building their $20 million mansion. Right. They say six bedrooms, but it must have heaps of those other rooms, like rumpus rooms. They bulldozed a $7 million mansion.

They're like, oh, yuck. Apparently it was more the property that was the drawcard rather than the house. But where they're living at the moment

while it gets finished, next door to that, that house is for sale. Right. What a lovely spot. One, one, welcome to 111 Elkhorn Street,

Suffolk Park. Where you can drive in off the road and immediately kick off those shoes after a hard day of living in Byron Bay. So I'm guessing, what, kombucha and hacky sack stuff. How much is that house next door to them? Do we know?

Ooh, I loaded up 111 Elkhorn. Don't be price on application. I need an indication before I even... Nah. Yeah, you were probably going to inquire. Yeah, it's price on inquiry. Boo. It's going to be millions though, right?

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. The house that's for sale next to the one they're currently living in is absolutely beautiful. So the top six today is the top six benefits to being Chris Hemsworth's neighbour. Number six, he works out a lot. Yes. Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm six, he works out a lot. Yes. You know what we're saying. Because do you know what his brother's here at the moment, isn't he?

I saw a photo of them all on the beach. They went surfing. Liam and his new girlfriend. Well, they're all at home in Australia for all the COVID lockdown. So you get to see all of them. Is their dad there? Well, that actually brings us to number five on the list of the top six benefits

to being Chris Hemsworth's neighbour. His whole family is hot. Yeah. Like Daddy Hemsworth. Yeah. His mum. Yeah. His wife.

The whole thing. It's a very sturdy family tree. It's like a coldie. Without coldie, do I make a noise? You'd go over for a nosy, eh? If they were all there. If you were the neighbour, you'd pop over. Over the fence. Oh my god, that lawn dude's back again. Number four

on the, I'd be like, it's like I'm a Hemsworth. They'd be like, uh, yep. Number four on the list Of the top six benefits Of being Chris Hemsworth's neighbour You might see Thor's hammer You know what I'm saying Thor's hammer

Because It feels like the first three So far have been very much Just about them being hot And Well no I meant Thor's hammer Like actual The hammer he got

When he was being Thor Yeah I did too Because he would have Taken one of those home Yeah Oh did you think I meant his penis? Megan. No, I was thinking his hammer.

That thing would also weigh a ton, I reckon. Number three, and only the worthy may handle it. Number three on the list of the top six benefits to being Chris Hemsworth's neighbour. He's got one of those beehives that have a honey spout. I saw him using it. Does he? Yeah, one of those free flow honey ones where a honey spout. I saw him using it. Does he? Yeah, one of those free-flow honey ones

where you just turn the handle and the honey runs out. I don't know how they work, but I want one. Because, like, how cool would it be to have a beehive if you had a little bit of land, but then all that admin of putting on a beekeeping suit, getting stung. Very admin heavy. You can just go up and turn a tampon

while they're all busy in there. Yeah. And then you sneak away, living the life. Yeah. I'd still want one of those little smoky puffers. Just to get them away. That just looks like fun. Yeah.

Doesn't that get them all horny, though? No, it gets them all chilled. Oh, chilled. Okay, right. Yeah. If you're smoking something trying to get horny, you're chasing the wrong outcome. Okay.

Number two on the list of the top six benefits of being Chris Hemsworth's neighbour, You're chasing the wrong outcome. Number two on the list of the top six benefits of being Chris Hemsworth's neighbour, you'll 100% be able to invite yourself to one of his Hollywood potluck dinners. Absolutely. Because he'll put a little flyer out to the neighbours being like, hey, there's a shindig at my house, just letting you know it might get a little noisy. And then you just turn up and you're like... I thought it was an invite. Was it an invite?

I've made my famous chilli con carne. Imagine turning up in a chilli con carne. And a bag of like so you're holding it in the pot that it was cooked in and you've got a bag

of like nachos chips as well. You're like yeah. One of those massive bulk packets. Yeah, huge bag. You're like Tom Hiddleston you into this? You never know. They could be down to earth Aussie boys and I like some chilli con carne. Yeah. Robertiddleston. You into this? You never know.

They could be down-to-earth Aussie boys. They might like some chilli con carne. Robert Downey Jr., you want some? Want somebody? Want somebody? Mark Ruffalo, you into what a play? And number one on the list are the top six benefits of being Chris Hemsworth's neighbour. I reckon he'd be one of those neighbours that would always be willing to help you out with a two-man lift.

Yeah. Something for everyone there. You get the thing you want lifted, lifted. Your wife gets to have a close-up look at the man machine, and you get to feel wildly inadequate as a man. When he comes over to do the two-man lift, and he just picks it up by himself, and you're like, but, oh, Chris Hemsworth, please let me help.

Please. That is today's top six. Flesh, Vaughan, and Megan, the podcast, ZM. The end of homeschool. Well, maybe people are going to continue to homeschool. Yeah, I've seen a few people on the news say they're going to carry on forever. That's okay. If there was cases at your kid's school, that's fine.

If your kids are immunocompromised, 100%. Yeah. If you're just willing to offload them back onto paid professionals, then same. Yeah, same. We've, I must take my hat off. And I said this to her in person, so it's not like I'm just saying it, but Shardé's done a wonderful job. Yeah, right.

She's a very patient person. With them, she is. She's not patient with me. She's had far too long of this shit. She's had her guts full. So she's still got to deal with me during the day at home. So it's probably like she's just gone from homeschooling to being a carer more than anything. I need special hugs.

I need a hug when I get home from work, please. So they've had a bunch of assignments to do. Yeah. One of them was this like environmental thing that Indy's been into. August just opted out from the word go. She doesn't care about the environment. We had to build a herb plant like herbs. They look like a little herb garden.

Oh, yeah. Which is good. Yeah. We had to do some veggies and make a compost bin. Yeah. Well, that was because I wanted a compost bin for a while. I wanted a big compost bin. So that was fine. That was homework. Yeah. Make a compost bin. Yeah. Well, that was, because I've wanted a compost bin for a while. I wanted a big compost bin. So that was fine.

Well, that was homework. Yeah. Make a compost bin. Yeah. What if there were like people in apartments or something? Oh, they wouldn't have selected that. There was like a long list of them.

Oh, right. And you could select. Also, it's kind of like a semi-rural school. So I don't know if there's any people Right. Apartments. Travelling an hour every day to different high-rise apartments

in central Auckland. Yeah. But she, it was one of those situations where I was like, oh, this is what it's like. Because my parents never did our homework or assignments or anything for it. But she just stood there. She was like, yeah, can I go inside and watch YouTube?

You've got this under control. I'm like, no, that's not the idea of it. This is your assignment. I'll do the sawing And the cutting And the nailing And everything But you've got to stay here

You did build a massive Compost bin Did I? Did you? Yeah you want to see a photo? I've tried something different too I mean that's not going to work On the radio but

I don't care what they're up to They can imagine it That's pretty insane For a school project Jesus That's massive. Yeah, it's two metres long, 1.2 deep and a metre at a height. Why doesn't it have any sides on it?

It does have sides on it. Mesh. Is it see-through? Yeah, mesh. I'm trying something new. I'm trying something new. Doesn't it just fall through the mesh? All this stuff falls out.

No, no, no, no. But what about the smell? Isn't the whole point that it kind of like heats up and then decomposes? This is way away from the house. This is where we're going to put the big veggie garden. Yeah, but Megan's right. The whole idea is that you cook the compost. This will still cook, but then it gets exposed and it gets a chance for the creepy crawlies

and everything to get in. No. My old compost bin had big air gaps. Got to get a bit of airflow through there. There's literally no sides to that. No, there's mesh sides. Oh, this is a disaster. Have you Googled it?

Yeah, I've Googled it. This is totally legit. It's not like a compost bin in the, you put a little, this is more like a compost heap. Right. And you aerate it. Maybe your dad,

I remember talking to your old man about it. Remember that scheme he had set up where he put it in the top thing and then pushed it down into the next one, the next one, the next one, the next one. Okay. Yeah, that was, you've got to keep it moving,

you've got to keep it aerated. Okay. But anyway, that's, yeah, Indy's got a photo Oh that's not She didn't do anything She's gonna get an A plus

She But look And then But she poked some veggies In the ground there So Done Done

Yeah done She's like I'll just get a photo of that Also I wanna buy this little tractor What do you reckon Oh my god I saw you on the tractor

Why were you on a tractor At the weekend Who Where did you on a tractor at the weekend? Where did you get a tractor from? That's Ray's tractor. My name's Ray. You're my new best pal, Ray. This isn't his tractor. This is a tractor I want to buy.

This is a much smaller tractor. What do you need a tractor for? Ray's tractor was a bigger tractor. This one's a little tractor. What do you need a tractor for? For tractor things. Come in. It's just a little tractor.

You're like, shut up. I can't go to DeJuba, but you can buy a tractor. DeJu-Tractor. That's what I need. I need to make it look like I've purchased something for her, but I can't really just be like, oh, yeah, I spent that many thousands of dollars at DeJuba. Or you can't just pull that tractor out and be like, this old thing.

I bought this ages ago. I've had this ages. This. Still got the tag on it. I'll be like, what? That tractor's been there for years. You just never come in the shed. This old thing. I bought this ages ago. I've had this ages. This? Still got the tag on it? What? That tractor's been there for years. You just never come in the shed.

You just need to buy a little plastic frontage thing for your ride on a lawnmower. Oh, I thought you were going to say buy a little, you know those little plastic tractors you have when you're a kid with pedals on them, but they've got like a front end loader? They were fine, man. Get one of those. Those rich kids. Remember the rich kids that had those growing up? Damn. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. The Dutch government. I actually know somebody in lockdown. Oh, I think you're going to say you knew somebody in the Dutch government. I was like, who do you know? I know somebody in the Dutch government. I have very powerful friends. Right.

So the Dutch government, the National Institute for Public Health and the Environment. So that's like their, it like the public health and the environment. That's one. Who do you know in Dutchland? Oh, no, I know someone in Amsterdam that's on lockdown. Oh, right. And it's been quite intense and quite long. So they're still going?

I think so. Yeah, okay. And that kind of gave them a little bit of warning. But then when you went out and went into a cafe, for example, and said, might I acquire from you some of that delicious brownie slice? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, answer them. Yeah. You were only allowed one per day of lockdown.

And they were only predicting a two-week lockdown, so you were only allowed 14 brownies per person. Okay. Right. But even then, they were very hard to get a hold of, apparently, because they started going, selling out. Okay. But anyway, the National Institute for Public Health and the Environment has...

Environment. Environment have issued a new guidance. Yeah. And if you are single and locked down, you are allowed to find a sex buddy. The Dutch government have said. Oh, okay, question. Where was this for our lockdown? You have to obviously have an exclusive sex buddy though, right?

Yes. And you have been advised not to have sex if you have suspected you have coronavirus or suspect the other person has coronavirus. I mean, that goes without saying, right? Yeah. Yeah. But that being, it's an initiative. They've said it has to be a regular partner.

And as long as you are abiding all the other rules of lockdown and play it safe, then yes. Was it Victoria and Australia, there was some uproar over this? Like early on in their lockdown, they said you couldn't see your girlfriend or engage with anyone. And then everyone kind of flipped out and they went, okay, you can. Okay, you can go around and it has to be exclusive. It can't just be

random hookups. Yeah. So it has to be the same person. I wonder how many relationships will start out of that because you're like,

just pick someone, okay, we're going to be regular. Yeah, and you have to get to know their personality. Yeah, exactly. And then the person

that picked Fletch is like, oh, this is a big mistake. Well, generally, like other people, when they hook up, they converse. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Right. Just an insight into, you know... They might share a meal, for example. Yeah, right.

Okay. Watch a program that is of a shared interest. Right. Okay. Interesting. And then either before or after that, they interest. Right, okay. And then either before or after that they

engage. And then sometimes afterwards there's like a debrief, a little discussion. Yeah, they might do stuff afterwards and before. Fascinating stuff. I know. This is fascinating insight, guys. I know. Fascinating insight. Do you know I can't get a beard trim in level two? Really? I tried to book

in. But what about, you can get a haircut. You can get a beard trim because it's all around the mouth and the nose. What if you just like shoved a cloth in your mouth? What? So you couldn't like, yeah. And then had two straws coming out of your nostril that came like down well out of the way and you'd be like. Yeah, yeah.

That's weird. Yeah, because I tried to book one in. And I know I was barking up the wrong tree anyway because leaving it till like last night to be like, I want a bed trim in the next two days because I know how busy barbers are. Yeah. But then it said, yeah, everywhere I couldn't find. I was like, what's going on? And then, yeah, no bed trims.

Huh. Yeah. So what are you going to do? Just do it yourself with some snips. Yeah, I might do it myself. I gave myself one a couple of weeks ago. I think I did a pretty good job. We could tell.

We could tell. But it was not bad. But we could tell. No, that's when you made it pointy. Is that when you made it pointy? Yeah, make it pointy again. Don't make it too. Was it too pointy?

No, I liked it. It was too pointy. I was down for it. You look like. You know what? You think it's too pointy. But, make it pointy again. Don't make it too pointy. Was it too pointy? No, I liked it. It was too pointy. I was down for it. You look like... You know what? You think it's too pointy, but if I got rid of it, if I got rid of the bed entirely, it'd be very roundy. Because of carbohydrates and lockdown.

Just meet yourself halfway. Don't go so pointy. No, I like the pointy. What about like roundy and then pointy at the end, like a nipple? No, because you look like Serge Tankian. Did I? Yeah.

I thought that was great. Yeah, because that's what we were singing System of the Down to you. Or Lemony Snicket. That's what you look like. Uncle Gustav or whatever his name was. That is good for me to make a Lemony Snicket reference. Most unexpected that you'd have that in your wheelhouse. Well, I've only seen it on like, you know.

Did you watch a movie with one of your hookups? Oh my God. Pass off. Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Bluff or Stuff. All right.

If you would like to play Bluff or Stuff right now, give us a call. 0800-DARLS-AT-M. It is a super easy competition. We have up for grabs a prize, and you've just got to guess which one of us is holding the actual prize in our hands. But the catch is we are all going to tell you

that we're holding it. How good are we at lying? Pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty, pretty good. There are quite a few carryovers in this game. What? Because we're so good at lying.

Because we're so good at lying. Okay. Vaughn, what a surprise today. Well, I mean, you'll be able to see this. You've got it in your hands and Megan's got it in her hands and I've definitely got it in my hand. A Nescafe Dolce Gusto. Gusto.

Gusto. Is that how you pronounce it? Because I can't say it, it doesn't mean I don't have it. Brie, good morning. Good morning. All right, so you know how the game works. You've just got to guess which one of us is holding this Nescafe coffee machine in our hands. If you can correctly do that, you win the prize.

Vaughan, would you like to start? Sure. Let me tell you about the drip tray. There, Brie, it goes under the part that drips and under your cup and it can catch the drips for three different cup sizes. That sounds cool. It sure is. It's one of its coolest teachers. He's just basically

thinking of any coffee machine, Bree, because he doesn't have the box. Nah, I can tell you, I can tell you. What is this thing? It's got a, oh, that's the power cord. Right. I was just looking at this thing. Bree, but give me this. On the box here, Bree, the power cord, you can't see the pins coming out of the end of the power cord. I'm guessing it's so it keeps it sort of like. You can't see them because I'm holding the box. No, you can't see it from across the desk, but I'm holding the box. Maybe it's to keep it sort of like nondescript for international

because you know how power plugs are different. Yeah, right. Good call, that Vaughn. Yeah, but in an effort to please everybody, actually pleasing nobody. What else do you want to know, Brie? I'll tell you that you can do hot or cold coffees because of the logo on the box. You can read it on the side of the box from here. Yeah, because I'm holding the box.

I don't know who's holding it. It can do 15 bars of pressure. Whoa. Don't just make up a statistic, Vaughn. No, I'm not. It says it here on the box that I'm holding.

Are you holding it? Of course it does. What's your average coffee machine's pressure? Like at the cafe, do you know the pressure of your coffee machine? Okay.

She won't know because she's not holding the box. Do you know anything about this, Megan? Because you're not even holding the box. I know that it is a penguin. It looks like a penguin.

It does look like a penguin. It looks like a penguin spitting up your coffee. You can buy little capsule boxes from the supermarket. Oh, no shit. Of course you can. There's a cappuccino. There's a long black. There's a cafe au lait.

Oh, of course. Everyone knows how I'm a pod coffee machine. I can read it on the back of this box here. Bree. Yes? You have to eliminate one of us now. Which one of us is not holding it? I'm going to say you.

Who's you? Fletch. Okay. Do you know who we are, Bree? Bree, I am... I feel really bad, but I've forgotten your name. I know Megan. I know Megan.

This is the most important, Bree. This is the most important. Wow. Do we need this ego? I'm going to eliminate Megan. But you just eliminated me. She's the only name you know. Okay, no.

Fletch and Vaughn. I know. Okay. I remember you. Yeah, but you's the only name you know. Okay, no, flat chin Vaughn. I know, okay. I remember you. Okay, but you have no idea who's who. Okay, so who's not holding it, Bree? Megan's not holding it. Okay. You are correct.

Correct. It's one of us that's holding it. I do actually know the most out of this coffee machine, though, because I have one of these at home. Yeah, but it's obvious you weren't holding the box. Bad lying this morning. This is actually getting really heavy, Bree. Can you hurry up?

Yep. All right. Is Fletch holding the box? Now, that's me, right? You know that's me speaking now. Yes. Or is Fletch me who is speaking now? Fletch

is holding the box. Okay. Guess what Bree? That is incorrect. It was born! Oh. Bree! Sorry Bree. Hey unfortunately Bree, for you the chase is over.

You have been caught. You have been caught. Brie, thanks for playing. We will bring back Bluff or Stuff with the Nescafe coffee machine. Real roll of the dice here, Brie. What radio station are you listening to? I listen to ZM. Yay!

She got it. Do you remember growing up when radio stations used to make people say that? No. Did you ever have a radio station? And they were like, congratulations, you won a hoodie of the Blowfish cassette. Tell us which... Who's your favourite? Who's your favourite radio station that plays the most music?

You were the king of regional radio. Can I... Do I get a second guess because you're my favourite radio station? No, because there was only two options. Vaughn's holding the box. No, Brie, I've put it down. We just told you, Brie. I've put it down, Brie.

Wow, okay. No, Brie, that's just not how life works, okay? This isn't a Kiwi Kids Triathlon. Not everyone gets a medal. More than welcome. Did you have fun? Or look at something you can take out of this Did you have fun?

Did I have fun? Yeah This was fun This was a laugh Jesus You need to work on your buttering up So radio stations free You ring up

They answer the phone They're like hello is it him? You're like hi Oh my god I'm so excited they got through And then they're like we're like man And then you just gotta, we like man. And then you just got to simply know the people who talk on the radio sessions' names. Bluff your way through the rest.

Bree, thanks for playing. We will be back again with the coffee machine on the line with our game Bluff or Stuff. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So witnessed at the weekend outside a sushi store downtown, a table. And on that table, they had their EFTPOS machine and a big bottle of hand sanitiser. Yep. And as I walked past, a man walking beside me, but at a safe distance,

walked past the hand sanitiser, gave it a pump and kept walking. Not going into the sushi store. No. Not a customer. You were missing on the radio, but there's a waggly food avenue. And it went up just when it was like, and he didn't go into the sushi store. Waggle, waggle, waggle.

He didn't go in. Now, I've had this before when I've been around, and I'm like, my hands could do with a hand sanitizer, but I'm not going to go. I think I was walking past Burger Fuel, and I saw their hand sanitizer. I'm like, I could just have a hand sanitiser, but I'm not going to go. I think I was out, I was walking past Burgerfield and I saw their hand sanitiser. I'm like, I could just have a little pump of that, but I'm not buying anything.

So I'm like, oh, wait. And then I was at the Westpac ATM, a lady, they've got a hand sanitiser pumpy thing. Oh, right. And a lady just came up, she wasn't even using the ATM. She just got a free glob of hand sanitizer. She got a free hand.

So I was like, what's the etiquette on this? Because you run a business. Do you have a hand sanitizer outside? Yeah. What if somebody went to the dairy next door and came past for a free pump? Oh, I would absolutely not tell them off because I don't like confrontation. But in my head, they would get a bollocking. You'd be like, you arsehole.

Yeah. Yeah, that's money. That's'd be like you arsehole. Yeah. Yeah that's money. That's money. We have to buy that. Exactly. And you imagine how much a business is going through hand sanitiser and we all complained

about how expensive it was. Well yeah it hasn't gotten any cheaper has it? No. Although it has become more plentiful because a lot of places have adapted to make it.

Yeah. Carry one in your car or I've got a little one in my car so every time I get back in my car, I give a wee pfft, and then when I go out again, like when I leave the car, a wee pfft, pfft, pfft. So why? Do you have a foam or a pfft?

No. Do you have a foam? We've got these ones that foam on their way out. You get a pump and it foams on the way out. Fancy. But then sometimes I feel like it's not as good as the gel. Yeah, right. Yeah, I really feel like it's not as good as the gel. Yeah, right. Yeah, I really feel like your hands need to be saturated.

Yeah, I like to put heaps of gel on and run my hands through the air. It's the sanitizer dance now. Yeah. Or now and then you see someone completely depleting their purpose by putting the hand sanitizer on and then going. Going all over their hands. Yes. It's quite what the story is there, Karen.

So, ran a poll on our Instagram, thousands of votes. Is it okay to use business hand sanitizer if you're not a customer? I am so surprised with this poll result. 69% of people think it's okay. If you're not a customer, to use someone's hand sanitizer it's not i as a business i'm not playing for a public hand sanitizer it's just for our customers do you think it's people thinking this is more for the greater good so get hand sanitizer wherever you can probably but like people are paying for that that's a good that's a good way of uh looking at

it as you're stealing if you stealing. Get one in your handbag or in your car if you want to use it. What if somebody said, excuse me, oh, but that thing that's got to come into your cafe,

that's really weird. They come in and they're like, I'm just being caught short. Would I just have a little squeeze here? I'd say, if you're buying a coffee,

yes. Yeah, what coffee would you like? You say, yeah, that costs $4.50, but it comes with a free coffee. Yeah, that's a good one. That's crazy. I tell you who'd love that, an old mate. Yeah.

Yeah, wouldn't they? Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Hype, hype. This is a segment of the show. Mondays can obviously be a challenging day. Yeah. After a weekend or maybe a horrific lockdown. Yeah.

If you've got to get back to something and you don't really have the energy. The gusto, the get up and go. So we try to amp you up, give you what you need. Give you some motivation. Yeah. The Mutt Squad. Yeah. We're not going to call it Motivational Monday.

It's not. No. That's not what's happening here. That's not what's happening here. That's not what's happening. Mel, good morning. Good morning, guys. You need some hype for your Monday. I sure do.

Okay, why? What's on the agenda? What have you got? I've got a uni assignment due at 1 o'clock today that I haven't started. Oh! How long have you had? I know. I've probably had about two weeks since I was given the assignment.

Okay, what's it on? What's your area? My area's in human resources. Piece of cake. Easy. Yeah. So I reckon just sit yourself down at a computer. What's your subject within human resources?

What's the... Because Vaughn's had lots of dealings. Yeah, I've been up to those guys heaps. This one's actually looking at how to improve the mental health of employees in hospitality industry. Do you know what?

I reckon there's been a fair bit of that online already. So what you need to do is you need to go on. You need to ready yourself with the control C. Highlight what you like. Control-C, then Control-V it into your document and then just go through changing a few crucial words. Shift-F7 is a good one for that. It brings up the thesaurus.

And then at the end, read over it. This is, I mean, this is I reckon you don't even need to hurry. What time are you thinking of starting? 9.30, 10? Yeah, I reckon so. Maybe 10.30. Do you want one? Need a coffee. Do time are you thinking of starting? 9.30, 10? Yeah, I reckon so. Maybe 10.30. Do you want one? Need a coffee.

Do you want one o'clock? Usually I'm trying to add jazz people. I don't have to name them up, but I'm just saying you just need to take it easy. Approach this with a little bit of... I just think for an essay, I used to always write, I believe, because A,

they can't argue with what you believe, and B, then you don't have to APA reference anything because it's your own brain. Yeah, perfect. This is how we end up with conspiracy theories involving COVID, 5G towers, anti-vaccination situations.

You need a site and source. Let me Mel give you a quote from Benjamin Franklin who I believe invented the telephone in the car. And also aged backwards, didn't he? Yes. He did. Heied a baby. You may delay, but time will not.

Ooh. Ooh. That's pretty. So, get your ass in the gear. I reckon work that quote in because you could say about how mental health

and hospitality is ignoring, you know, the warning signs of mental health struggles. Yep. And then you've got a quote by Benjamin Franklin. Everyone's like, well, he invented the telephone.

How do you call to make a reservation at a hospitality outlet? Telephone. Boom, the circle's complete. I'm pretty sure we've just done your homework for you. Now, if you just write down what's been said. Also, eat some popcorn. That's brain food. Popcorn for breakfast. Also, Alexander Graham popcorn. That's brain food. Popcorn for breakfast.

Also, Alexander Graham benefited the telephone. It's a dope actually. What did that other fella do then? Did he fly a kite? Benjamin Franklin. Did he fly the kite? Was he a president?

Electricity. No, he put the kite up and it struck the... Key. The key. Was that that dude? Electricity. Didn't he invent a wet battery?

He's the founding father of America. Okay, wrong guy. But see how we corrected ourselves in about a minute there? Yep. Leave a few minutes at the end just before 1.30 to correct any mistakes. I don't think we've done anything. Nah, she's all good. I don't think we've done anything apart from waste two minutes of your time, Mel.

Do it! I'm just Googling who is the kite with the key, dude. Mika, good morning. Hey, how are you guys? Good, good. Now, you need some hype for your Monday. Why? So, I've got a couple of kidney stones that have been hanging around that I should probably pass pretty soon.

Oh, goodness. What do you mean? Like, I should? Like, you just need to, like, squeeze your heart to get them out, or you just think it could happen any time? The doctor says it could happen at any time within the next year, so I'd really like to get that over to you rather than later. Yeah, oh, no, doctor, no. This thing's happening now.

It's a huge window. Yeah. So any tips have you found online how to do it? Do you, like, lie face down so that the kidney stones, because you know those old games where you had to roll the balls around to get them to stay in the, down the spout? Do you eat spicy food or something? Could we, producer Jared, you had kidney stones only a couple of weeks ago.

How did you squeeze yours out? A lot of jumping up and down to loosen them up. So trampoline? A lot of walking, mostly. Up and down stairs, Get them moving around. Do you just drink as much water as you can? Yep, litres and litres. You need one of those mini-tramps off Trapeme.

Yeah, one of those exercise tramps from the 80s. Yeah. Jazz-a-size. Now, what crystal helps with this? Amethyst. Amethyst, of course. I was thinking rose quartz, but duh! You rub it around the stomach.

Yes. Now, it's going to be a new moon very shortly, so that thing's probably going to use the last of the charge. But if you live near a 5G tower, put up some tinfoil on the windows because that will desensitise the crystal. Mika. That's right. It's training the crystal, Mika.

This is science, Mika. You should be writing this down. It's science. I saw it on YouTube. I saw it on YouTube. It's science. I saw it on YouTube. I saw it on YouTube. It's science. Are you worried about the pain? Not really.

It's been a little uncomfortable, but it turns out I've already passed a few of them in the last few months anyway, so this could just be everything else. And you didn't even notice. Wow. Do you have any quotes about pain, Fletch? No.

Okay, this is from Pablo Picasso, who I believe was the Colombian drug lord. Yes. He said, only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone. So you're saying if Mika waits until tomorrow to pass the kidney stones, he might die having never passed the kidney stones. And you don't want to be buried with kidney stones. They'll weigh you down. Famously.

Great. More great motivation. More great clients for Monday. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Last week, in fact, Vaughan, you weren't here either. We had a listener come to us with a conundrum. It was a relationship conundrum over lockdown.

I'll fill you in for anyone else who didn't hear this conundrum. They were in a situation. They needed our help about a month before lockdown. I started dating this guy who was in our friend group. So I kind of knew him for nearly a year, although we were never close friends. Before the lockdown, he asked me to move in with him during this time as we both lived alone. Lockdown went well. They barely had any disagreements and she says they survived it well.

Six or so weeks on, they're still here. And I mentioned we'd have to figure out a moving date to which he replied, ha, whatever, and then changed the subject. It's awkward because I'm still paying for my bills at my apartment and still only living out of a suitcase here. We have not had the what are we talk, so our relationship isn't official either. I would be comfortable moving in with him, but also happy to go back to mine if that's what he wants,

but we both, he both seemed to avoid the conversation. Sent a follow-up message saying she had tried again to have the conversation and he would go quiet for the rest of the night. And it was at that point that most people that messaged in and that we spoke to said she's just got a, she's dealing with a duck boy. A lot of people thought that he was a duck boy and that he was using her for convenience and just fancied her having her around.

Didn't want to make it official. Didn't you agree with that? I did, yeah. I did. Yeah. So we've had an update. What would your assessment of that situation be, Paul? It seemed, yeah, the convenience of having someone to canoodle with.

Yeah. Cuddle. Yeah. And changing the subject didn't want to deal with it. But then on the other side of the coin had not asked her to move out

was still No. But didn't want it officially labelled and still wanted the option of skedaddling. I think most people were like

you've got to just move out and make a power play. Yeah. And then if he if he comes after you make him chase you. Yeah. Make him chase you. Honestly. Like that's just the best play. Yeah. And then if he comes after you. Make him chase you. Yeah, make him chase you. Honestly, like, that's just the best advice.

Yeah. Make him chase you. Because guys know what they want. If they chase you, then they want it. If they don't, then see ya. If he doesn't, yeah, find someone that does. Exactly. Yeah.

We've had an update. Oosh. Hi, Megan. Thank you for all the advice I received for the situation. Wasn't quite what I was expecting but the honesty from everyone certainly helped. Was she not expecting everyone to be so ruthless

and just say get rid of him or leave? Maybe I should have prepared her a bit more. People can be brutally honest. So update. I did read the comments on the live feed of people telling me to move out and take back the control

so I told him I was moving out next weekend and he said don't he asked me to move in with him

officially and we are also now boyfriend and girlfriend so it turns out they're not all duck boys yes she finished it by saying thank you so much

for the help, but I believe you were right and Fletch was wrong. So all you had to do was pull the trigger. Yeah. I'm moving out next weekend. Give him an ultimatum. Yeah, you had to deliver an ultimatum. Is that not what I said?

That's not really an ultimatum. It's just her decision. I'm moving out next weekend. No, that's not an ultimatum. An ultimatum's like, I'm moving out unless you make this official or whatever. If you just say, hey, I'm moving out next weekend. No. That's not an ultimatum. An ultimatum is like, I'm moving out unless you make this official or whatever. If you just say, hey, I'm going to move out. Very similar though. Very similar. But it worked,

didn't it? Yeah. Make them chase you. If they want it, they'll come after you. She's done well, but I figured... She's done. She's graduated. She'll be receiving her female empowerment badge in the mail. It's going to be great.

She's going to love that. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. A cafe in Wellington turned away the Prime Minister at the weekend. Said no. Because there was no tables due to the social distancing. Yeah, right. They turned away the Prime Minister. The Prime Minister's partner saying,

my fault, I didn't book. Yeah. Classic Clark, not booking. Must be a good cafe though, to be that packed. Yeah. Well, it doesn't need to be that packed. Oh yeah, true.

Less tables and everything. How did you go at the weekend with your cafe for spacing and stuff? Good. Yeah, it's different. But everyone was really patient and understanding with having to keep the distance. Any word what restaurant, if at all,

Dr. Ashley Bloomfield had up on the weekend? You imagine him walking and you'd be like, oh, God. Oh, God. Make sure we follow the rules. Oh, my God. Did you wipe the table down? How close is that table?

I would be so intimidated if it was Jacinda though. You'd be like, is the glass clean? Is everyone secure? No, because they were like, get out! I think either of them

are like at that rock star level at the moment because everybody's been fixed to that one o'clock briefing. It's our favourite show. It's been our favourite show for weeks.

We've been binging. Yeah. Rockstar level, but not just like nervous because it's someone you've seen on the telly so much. Nervous because they're

the people that make the rules. Yeah. Or, you know, implement and deliver the rules. Yeah. Because I saw this news story went global. Because, you know,

people love a Jacinda story. Yeah. And I saw this pop up on world websites. Right, yeah. News sites. And then the cafe, people from the cafe chased them down the street. Is that right?

Yes, so they... Afterwards saying, how do I have a table come up? Yeah, because I think some people left. I reckon they just walked up to somebody who was only having a coffee and they were like, get out. Get the out of here. Apparently there were people seated in the cafe being like, oh, do we have to get up?

Like, do we have to leave to give Jacinda a table? Oh, I thought you meant were people seated in the cafe being like, oh, do we have to get up? Like, do we have to leave to give Jacinda a table? Oh, I thought you meant like stand up in the room to come in like when the headmaster came into school assembly.

Yes. Please be seated. Looking back on that, that was a bit macho. Like, you'd stand and the headmaster would walk in.

Yeah, that's a real ego. That's a sign of respect. No. Why just come in from the side of the stage? There's a boss at your school. It's supposed to teach you respect.

Stand for me. Stand for me. It's supposed to teach you respect, but it didn't work on Vaughan. Wait, does that still happen now? Because that should be cancelled. Yeah, that's real. That's some real old school teacher stuff. No, it's not.

It is. I'm on the board. No, it's respect for authority. Nah. Come in from the side of the stage. Be a common man. Don't think you're above everybody else. Say something like, sup, kids?

No, but they can still come in and be like Barack and like everyone's mate, but you still stand for them. Barack. Barack Obama. That's the president of a country. That's like everyone running a bunch of ragtag school kids. He's still the boss of you. Yeah.

Nah. I'd refuse to take a knee. Colin Kaepernick. Oh my gosh. Take a knee during the... Yeah. During the principal's entry. They don't do that anymore, do they?

If I was a principal, I'd be like, I'm just coming from the side of the stage. Yeah. I'm one of you guys. In fact, I'd beat them all there. I'm an everyday principal. I'd show them respect. I'd be there waiting. You'd be sitting in the seats and then you'd jump up from down below and be like,. Yeah. I'm one of you guys. In fact, I'd already, I'd beat them all there. I'm an everyday principal. I'd show them respect. I'd be there waiting.

You'd be sitting in the seats and then you'd jump up from down below and be like, hey guys, I'm here. Yeah. Surprise, guys. I would install a booster under the stage

that would pop me up. I'd be like, am I a principal or a magician? But we'd like to know, back to the original topic, they had to turn away the Prime Minister. Yeah. In your job, do you have the ability to turn people away?

And who have you had to turn away? Like, sorry, we're full, or sorry, private function. How good is getting to somewhere and you're like, oh yeah, nah, it's empty, you walk in and someone's like, sorry, private function. Yeah. Oh, I see how this is. Stan Walker came for a coffee once, but we closed the coffee machine.

I was like, I'm so sorry. Yeah, no, it's got chemicals in it. There's nothing I can do about it now. You didn't know it was Stan Walker? Yeah, it was like late in the day. He was totally all good about it. But he could have Instagrammed your cafe. Yeah.

Yeah. He could have done a TikTok. He was all good about it. He was like, yeah, no worries. Yeah, because he's a nice guy. Yeah. Never come back could have done a TikTok. He was all good about it. He was like, yeah, no worries. Yeah, because he's a nice guy. Yeah. Never come back to your shit, Oliver. He hasn't.

Don't go to that place. Always shut. I bet he says that to his mates when they drive past. Went there once. They were shut. Yeah. Never going back. What?

Are you going to recap the story? Oh, I think you pointed at her. Yeah, and then she was bloody blanking, so I went to you. Okay, well, you can come to me. I thought it was Vaughn. I know what's happening. No, you don't. My God, you totally warned it.

Yeah, you did. You warned it. You were the one who was. I didn't warn it. No, you warned it. He pointed at you and said. Yeah, because he doesn't know what's going on. This is your thing.

I know. Am I the only one that knows what's going on? Okay, who did you have to turn away from your work? There we are. Classic Vaughn coming in 30 seconds after. Turn away Jacinda. No, because I thought you were doing it. I did the first bit.

You did this bit. That's why I thought you were doing it. Is this the way I always have to stick to that formula? Change things up. Be versatile. Be flexible. We want to know. In 2020, we're going to learn to roll with the punches? Change things up. Be versatile. Be flexible. It's 2020.

We've got to learn to roll with the punches. The Prime Minister at the weekend turned away from a cafe. And because of the rules... Say Olive. Give them a shout out. Where is that one?

In Wellington. Was it Cubistreet? I believe so, yeah. Cubistreet. Very popular establishment. But they couldn't fit her in so they turned her away but then I believe

some people left. They chased her down. She managed to get a table. Yeah, gave her a spot. So we want to know, in your line of work or working at any stage, have you ever turned away someone? And what was the story behind it? And some text messages and calls. And we'll start with Kiri. Kiri, who did you turn away? Hey, about eight years ago or so when I was working in Taranaki, I'm a hairdresser.

Oh, yeah. It was our late night and it was just me on, I think, and I had no one else. And Bowdoin Barrett came in for a haircut. And I had to say no because we didn't have anyone and he was working for Taranaki at the time. But obviously he is an all-black now. And I'm like, damn.

You could have said you cut an all blacks hair. Almost, but I used to cut his mum's hair so I feel like that's my claim to fame. You cut the hair that gave us the all blacks then. Yes, yes. We would be without Mrs Barrett. Exactly. Mama B.

Where would we be without Mama B? Kerry, thanks for your call. Rachel, who have you had to turn away? Good morning. Well, I used to work in a gym, and one day Fitty Fentz rocked on in. Jesus, Fitty. I know. Fitty with all his big bodyguards, and he said, shut down the gym.

I'm here. And we went, nah. He went, yeah. And so because we wouldn't close down the gym, he said, see ya. And we went, see ya. But was he willing to, like, pay to shut down the gym, or did he just want to protect you? No.

No, he just expected it. But then that's madness. What, you're paying members? Sorry, someone who deems themselves far more important than sharing machines with all of you would like this to themselves. Exactly. That's the reason why he didn't stay. Wow.

Yeah, so you got beef with me. I know. You've got beef. Yeah, you did. You started with beef. You're on Ja Rule's side. Yeah, man. Nice.

Imagine if you're at the gym and 50 Cent's just like working out, doing some dumbbells. He's quite beefy, eh? Yeah, he is, yeah. You wouldn't want to do weights. That was my gym. I'd almost contemplate it just so you could say 50 Cent came here once. Well, yeah, but I mean, the thing is that Helen Clark used to rock up there

and just work alongside all of us, so it'd be me. That's good enough for Helen. Now, I need to know what Helen Clark had in her gym regime. Was it mostly cardio? I reckon a lot of elliptical trainer. A lot of cross trainer. Totally. Former PM.

Because she loved the cross country skiing, didn't she? She did. Huge fan of a hike. Yeah. No weights. She wasn't getting on the bench.

No, it was all like, yeah, it was the elliptical trainer and it was the treadmill, all that kind of stuff. Did she bring Peter? No. No. she came by herself. Bless. Bless, Peter.

How weird would it be if Helen just taps you on the shoulder and she's like, could you just spot me? Spot me, bro. Could you spot me, bro? Thanks for your call. Rachel, ask some text messages. Oh, wow. Somebody said,

it's just a librarian saying they stopped somebody from borrowing any more books because they had fines. Thank you for your message. Thank you for your service. My father was organising a big event in Taupo and he put me on the door to collect people's tickets. He said to me, no ticket, no entry. And I said, yes, sir.

This lady turned up, went to walk in and I said, excuse me, stop, no ticket, no entry. She was the mayor and one of the main speakers at the event but I didn't let her in. She took her role seriously. I work at a museum. I've closed the door on Jacinda when we were

closing. You need two people to open the door. So I had to call in a police escort who was a hottie by the way, to help. It was very embarrassing. Brett McKenzie from Flight of the Conchords came into the cafe. I worked out with his kids and ordered coffees and a whole lot of cabinet food. But he couldn't pay for it because he only had an Amex on him. So we're like, sorry, Brett.

Is it surprising to anybody else? Brett's an Amex guy? Yeah. Well, just sometimes, I don't know, not all places take Amex, do they? But most do. I'm not an Amex, do they? But most do. I'm not an Amex guy. I would have let him tick it up. I would have said, come back tomorrow and pay, or here's the bank account.

Would you trust him to do that? I would have just given it to him. But Andrew would have been like, no, see you later. You can't pay. Get out of here. See you, buddy. Bye. I don't know.

I'm torn. How much cabinet food? How many kids? Yeah, right. Kids can I don't know. I'm torn. How much cabinet food? How many kids? Yeah, right. Kids can take up a lot in cabinet food. You might be thinking in your mind it's like a coffee, a muffin, maybe like a... Could have been like 40, 50 bucks worth. Oh, mate, and a cafe.

Yeah. Cabinet food, hot choccies, maybe a fluffy during the rounds. Okay. Slice. You could be looking at that. You can look down the barrel at $80. Now, the flight of the conch is good for $80. And how long does he ignore

paying until you hit up Brett, uh, Jermaine? You're like, hey, Jermaine, Brett didn't pay his bill. Can you sort this out? It was $80. Brought the kids in,

brought all these slices. I think Jermaine would find that very entertaining. I'm going to be like, oh, no. And be like, call Murray. And then you've got bloody Rhys Darby on the phone trying to get money out of him. He's getting blood out of the stone.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day is I'm changing actually I saw a cute one just before Excuse me for a moment Oh, last minute change Today's fact of the day is There is a frog in Costa Rica

That looks like Kermit the Frog Oh my god, how much? It's looks like Kermit the Frog. Oh, my God. How much? It's the most Kermit the Frog looking frog. It is called a Costa Rican. I don't know why they've done this to its eyes. Oh, okay. This is a branch of the ghost frog.

This is called a glass frog. This is called the ghost frog. Discovered in 2015. Oh, my God. He's green. Discovered in 2015 It's a Oh my god He's green It does look like a cartoon frog Yeah it does It's got the big eyes

On the top The bulgy Like Kermit the Frog's eyes Yeah Quite bulgy And then like a pointy Kind of snout The same

Yeah the same shaped Mouth as the Muppet Kermit the Frog And yeah Nobody knew it existed It was not like It wasn't like the same shaped mouth as the Muppet Kermit the Frog. And yeah, nobody knew it existed. It was not like Jim Henson saw this and was like, I'm going to make a Muppet based off that frog. He made Kermit the Frog and then they found this and it looks a lot like Kermit the Frog.

So cute. Yeah, very cute. There's not too much more to this. I just really liked it. When was the last time you saw a frog? In Fiji. Everywhere. In Deneral, when they're all over the grass?

Yeah. Yeah. And you run up to them and you're like, they're just sitting still. And you're like, hi, oh my God. And then it leaps at you and you're like. No. Don't touch me. Stay away.

When was the last time you saw a frog? In New Zealand. Oh, no, I don't know. Ages, right? Like at school when you made tadpoles? You made tadpoles? Well, you made them into frogs in the... You made them into frogs?

Yeah, you had a little tank and you got the tadpoles and then you got the frogs. Yeah, and then you did drawings and stuff and you studied the life cycle of the frog and that was the easiest one. And then you have to let them go at the creek. Yeah, because it happened quick enough that kids could kind of pay attention to it enough. It happened quick enough that the teachers wouldn't get too sick of it. They were a little bit stinky, as I recall. And not as stinky as the oxolotl.

We didn't have an oxolotl. Did you have an oxolotl? No. Oxolotl, the Mexican walking fish? They were a stinker. Summer gun. Yeah, they were yuck. Very yuck.

But I'll tell you what the Mexican walking fish. They were a stick and some a gun. Yeah, they were yuck. Very yuck. But tell you what's not yuck, the glass frog of Costa Rica because it looks like Kuma the frog. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. I called my parents the other night. They didn't answer. Okay. Then they called back and they said, sorry, we're just outside. Yeah.

Okay. And I said, that's all right. It's dark though. They said, yeah, we were looking at the things that are going across the sky. And I said, what are we were looking at the things that are going across the sky. And I said, what are you talking about? Starlink. The satellite thing. And they were like, yep, that's the one. And I said, oh, which one was it?

Because there's a couple now, right? Isn't there the one that's in a line? And then there's another one that looks a bit more like a cluster. Is there a cluster one? I haven't seen the line one. The one they said, they said it wasn't a straight line. Oh, that might have been the Southern Cross. Or they just seen stars. Was it the trolley?

The little pot. Yeah, it's a pot or a trolley. Looks like a trolley without the wheels on. I still haven't seen the Starlink. Neither. So that's another person. It's been made to Starlink. You've got the tracker.

I've got our tracker, but it doesn't make it really easy to find. I literally have a tracker that tells me when it's going, you know, when it's going past. Is it a notification? No, but I look at it every day. Right. Because it happens every day. It's a weird thing to do every day. No, I'm obsessed with space.

I'm down for it. Obsessed. Yeah. You're obsessed with space, but should come out for a telescope. You thought the Hubble telescope was called the Gobble telescope. When you said Hobble, I was like Gobble. Hubble. Hubble.

Hubble. Hubble. Hubble. Hubble. Hubble telescope. Not the Gobble telescope. And not the Hobble telescope either. I knew what it was.

I just wasn't sure on the name. Hubble. Hubble. The other day I got out the telescope and looked at Venus and it was, because I just assumed, you know when Venus is quite bright in the evening sky? But it was a crescent. Oh. Did you sing the song?

I'm your Venus. Yeah, because the girls know that song because it was on sync. And it's good to see generations later the kids still say, come my little penis. Yeah. Good, yeah. No, no, that's the fearless one.

What am I talking about? No, I'm talking about they're still there. I'm your penis. I'm your fire. Your desire. Yeah. They still

saying penis instead of penis. I don't think it ever will. No. I don't think it ever will. But then we were talking about it. Mum's like, so what's the deal with these?

I said, well, it's a series of satellite launches, to the best of my knowledge, a series of satellite launches that will have the ability to provide internet to the world. And she said, who's putting them up there? It's just news to her, isn't it? And I said, Elon Musk. And she said, I've heard of him.

And I said, yeah, blah, blah, blah. Brief Elon Musk chat. And then she said, can anybody just chuck anything up there? Good luck. I said, well, I guess if you can get it up there. She's like, but there'll just be stuff everywhere. I said, well, there is already quite a bit of space junk. She's like, have we not learned anything with the oceans?

And she's very concerned. Because last week something came down very close to New York City. Some Chinese space junk. A plate, a cup and some other China. China fell out of the sky. A couple of medium plates. Yeah, they smashed it. It was a real mess, but you could tell it was China

because it had the little decorations on it. But it was definitely a cup, a chipped cup. Like in Beauty and the Beast. Yeah, a Chinese rocket weighing 18 tonnes falls to Earth as space junk crisis hits a tipping point. Christine's all over it. She knows. Yeah, she's all over it.

But apparently this happened too close to New York for people's liking. Forward that to Christine. She'd be like, I bloody told you. I told you. She would. She would 100%. Didn't I say that? Yeah. No one listens to me, though. She'd go on one of those mum rants when mums feel underappreciated and not listened to.

So it passed over LA and Central Park in New York City before landing in the Atlantic Ocean. Oh, good Lord. So people could see it. Apparently a few tense hours with its re-entry path. Wow. Yeah. I'd imagine US-Chinese relations would go

even further south should one of the 18 tonne rockets crash into one of their most populated areas. That would be... Good lord.

Yeah, but mum's very concerned about space junk now. Right. I don't know how... It's not a big worry. I don't know how far up the... Have we done enough research

that we know the effect junk has on space? We're humans, mate. We'll do that later. What we'll do is we'll try to fix the problem half-heartedly, unless it costs too much money or costs us the ability to make money.

We'll do it later. Yeah. Once it's already affecting us. Yeah. When it's probably too late. Yeah. Like global warming. Yeah. We'll just get Mars terraformed. Mess that up and move on to the next one. That's us, baby.

That's us in a nutshell. Yeah, so mum's watching you, space people. She's not going to do anything. Just keep going. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. When you're sad, listening to sad songs can make you happier. How does this work? Because, well, there's a study that's been done.

This is researchers in Berlin. I would have thought that, like, you're kind of, like, wallowing in, you know? Yeah. And then it gets to a point where you've got to turn it off and you've got to, like, you know? Yeah. Move on. But apparently listening to the sad music, it is a sort of therapy. So it encourages

empathy. People who are listening to it not only deal with their own emotions but they can relate to that of the singer, the musician. And then they realise that other people have gone through a similar thing. You're not alone. You feel like you're talking to someone about it

and it helps you to have a cry. And then the crying is a painful but necessary process that you go through, and then you get through it. It's a healthy emotional behavior. Like you get it out of your system. Yeah. You're working through the sort of grieving process. Yeah, right.

And so listening to the sad music, yeah, makes you feel like you're not alone and helps you get through it. This is quite an extensive study they did. They talked to a lot of people and whilst listening to positive music also gives you a positive mood boost, but they found that it was nowhere near as much of a mood changer as listening to sad music. Right. Going from sad to having a positive general feeling afterwards. So would they have looked at people listening to like music. Right. Going from sad to having a positive general feeling afterwards.

So would they have looked at people listening to like upbeat? Yes. I guess it just wouldn't have been as... They make them feel good, but I guess the difference from sad to positive is greater than feeling like, okay, and then I'm feeling more positive. But also,

so people connect with the emotions of each song. Yeah. But the prime motivations for sad music was to get through it and make sure that you feel like you are not the only person that's going through those emotions. Right, so more of a sort of... But if you're like, yeah, if you're feeling happy, don't listen to sad music Because that's probably

Going to bring you down True So no music can be Sad music Bad music No music What? What?

What are you saying? If you're sad And sad music makes you happy And you're sad And happy music makes you happy What If you're sad Can make you sadder?

No music Yeah Silence Yeah silence Okay Sit in silence Sit in silence What, if you're sad, can make you sadder? No music. Silence. Yeah, silence. Sit in silence. Sit in silence and we'll make you sadder. So music's just positive all around. It's great. It's good for you.

Good vibes.