ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 18th November 2021

Episode Date: November 17, 2021

Vaughans Seeds  Top 6: Auckland Traffic  Saliva Pregnancy Test  Community Notices!  What Basic Task can't you do?  Megan, Plant Thief  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play. ZM's Fleets, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fleets, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, Barista made coffee available from drive-thru and McDelivery at level 3 and dine-in at level 2. We go now to the producer's booth. Hello.

Hello. Hi. Hi. Now what have you, you said you've got something you'd like to bring to the... Table. Yes. Last night, my boyfriend Andy and I did an ice cream run. We went and got a little trumpet and sat by the seaside

because we've been in the house all day. What flavours? Chocolate, of course. Both of you? Yep. No, no, no, no, no. Wait, was this a trumpet? I mean, you've got your boys in a real classic

and then otherwise you always go for the trumpet special or mint. Was it a trumpet or was it another brand? No, it was a trumpet. Oh, no, no. Wait, was this a trumpet? I mean, you've got your boys in a red classic, and then otherwise you always go for the trumpet special or mint. Was it a trumpet or was it another brand? No, it was a trumpet. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's the best. Do they still have Cornettos? Because they were really good, eh? They had heaps of chocolate at the bottom.

I feel Tip Top is the superior one. You're being, that's very anti-New Zealand of you to say that. I'm sorry, okay. Says the guy who doesn't like tomato sauce. That's disgusting. So we were sitting in the car watching the seaside and then there was this car next to us that had three youngsters in it. Oh, okay.

Like what age? God damn youngsters. You're pretty young. I'm going to say like 15 or 16. Definitely school aged. Okay. And there was a waft coming from the car next door. Oh, was it body odour? No, no, it wasn't.

It was a... Was it takeaways? It wasn't. Was it marijuana? I believe so. And little do they know, they're parked up next to Nana Millennial. Yeah. So, we thought this was really entertaining, and

we kept looking at them because there's nothing that makes donors like more uncomfortable than being looked at yes they're very paranoid aren't they very paranoid so they one of them put their glasses on sunglasses on and this is like nearly eight o'clock at night so there's no reason for sunglasses um and they actually moved their car because they were feeling so uncomfortable and parked a little bit further down which made us laugh. We were like, okay, well, we're going to go anyway. Should we look like we're driving past them?

Yeah. So we did that. And then they moved again. And by this point, we were like, this is a hoot. We'll see where they're going around the block. And their driving at this point is terrible, by the way. They're kind of like swerving. Oh, my gosh.

They shouldn't be driving. They shouldn't be driving. And then a police car comes around the corner. And I was like, hello. Light them up. Yeah. And the police car actually followed them for a wee bit, but obviously didn't see anything unusual.

And we were then in front. And then there were the stoners in the car and the police car in the back. No one saw anything. But then they managed to get away with it. They just pulled into a side street. And then I was like, excuse me, policeman, but didn't see me. They would have thought you knocked on them. Nah. When you said

excuse me, policeman. I was going to. Yeah, I was going to knock, but they didn't see me. Terrible A. How were they going? Like way under the speed limit? Yeah, like 30k. Just lightly bouncing off the curb every now and then. Yeah. I think it's all those guidelines. It's not the curb. No, I was imagining they were off the curb every now and then I think you call those guidelines

It's not the curb No I was imagining that It's not hitting the curb It's not the rumble lines I was thinking that No yeah It's the gutter lines For bouncing off

No I'm talking about the curb The big concrete curb So am I So is Megan I'm just making a joke here The guidelines But you call them the guidelines Oh

What? Oh my god Oh my god You're saying that that's how you drive That's how you know that I'm just making a joke. But you call them the guidelines. Oh. What? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So you're saying that that's how you drive. That's how you know that. Yeah, that's where the road is. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. But were you making a temper bowling reference?

Yeah. But they don't call them the guidelines in temper bowling. They call them the gutter rails. It started as like guidelines. I'm just saying. And then it was like he said gutter lines like bowling. And then we were piggybacking on the joke it can be a joke

but it's still gonna you know fit with the facts I mean Fletch was on board we were both bouncing off each other you were the one that was like

you're both fucking idiots then as well okay I think 10 listeners got it that was my bad I was so confused I didn't know

you were making a 10 minute bowling reference okay cool you stoners are hard to keep up with I don't know your jokes making a Timber Molding reference. Okay. Cool. You stoners are hard to keep up with. I don't know. Your jokes are all over the show.

Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, morning, Megan. Good morning. Happy Thursday. Well, it is a happy Thursday. Why?

Oh, we've got a date. We can leave Auckland. It's the 15th of December. 15th or 17th? 15th. If you're not in Auckland, better get vaccinated if you're not because we're coming. We've been locked for a long time.

We're like Louis the Fly from those old TV commercials. Hot teen says bye to Louis the Fly. Yeah. Say says bye to Louis the Fly. Yeah. Say bye bye to Louis the Fly. Do you remember? I'll never forget.

I think we talked about it before about how there was a story. It was on Holmes. This is how far back it's going. Paul Holmes fronting the 7pm current affairs show. Yeah. About a mum who was petitioning to have Louis the Fly's name changed

because her kid was called Louis and everyone at school was calling him Louis the Fly. I would love to know where that kid is now. Probably still going to his shrink weekly. Yeah. To get over that. Oh, my God. Now I really want to find that,

not only the clip of the mum complaining about Louis the Fly. Yeah. It'll be in the archives. It'll be Fly. Yeah. It'd be in the archives. It'd be in the archives. Well, don't you have a pass for working at Have You Been Paying Attention? Can't you just go in there and request some old footage? Ready to roll. I've got my swipe card.

I think they deactivated our swipe cards. When they finish the season. At the end of the season, they deactivate the swipe cards and they just reactivate them again next time. They can't have you going in. They don't want them again next time. They can't have you going in. They don't want you in the fortress. They don't want you going in during a news bulletin when they cross into the newsroom

and you're walking in the background, waving. They're like, what are you doing here? I'm like, I'm looking for archival footage of the home show when a kid called Louie was on because his mum wanted to change the name of the fly on the more teen ads. Yeah, we're like Louis the Fly. We're wearing that hat and we're flying and we're smoking a cigar

and we're dropping our COVID spores everywhere. So we're allowed out on the 15th of December. The board is open. Watch out. I'm just telling, if I leave Auckland, I'm just telling everyone I'm from Crunch Church. They won't believe it. Why? Because you don't have black

hair with blonde streaks in it. That's not a thing. But you're not wearing rugby shorts. Have you prepared which high school you're from? That's very stereotypical. Is it wrong though? Coming up on the show, it's your chance to win

before seven. What school did you go to though? Took too long. Damn it. Took too long. Damn it. Took too long. If you're really from Christchurch, you'll say it's second nature. Is Burnside one?

Yeah, Burnside time. You know what? Don't say Burnside. It's a huge school. First thing I say, yeah, huge school. How would you know? But if I, what school would I say? Do one with Saint something.

Yeah, St. Andrews. St. Andrews, yeah. Sounds fancy. St. Andrews? Yeah. What class change? There's a St. Andrews. I don't feel like I'm private school.

I don't feel I'm private school. Right. I'm public. Sorry, guys. Right. I'll say Burnside. Yeah, St. Andrews. Yeah.

Oh, isn't that one right in the middle of town, is it? Yeah. What's that real old one? Right in the middle of town, is it? Yeah. What's that real old one right in the middle? Nah. We'll get on to prepping our backstories. For you to say your home schooled in Christchurch. I'll say the Palms. Is the Palms a school?

It's on the map. It's a piece. It is. Yes, it is. It's a mall and you've been there many times. Ah, right. All right, coming up on the show, your chance to win cash before 7 o'clock.

We're going to do our cookie flip, all thanks to Cookie Time and the Christmas buckets that we've got. So $500, and it's super easy. You're just going to flip a cookie, and you call bottom or top. Middleton Grange, by the way. Okay.

Oh, no, that's a Christian co-educational. I could go Christian co-educational. No, you're not one of those. Aden no, that's a Christian co-educational. I could go Christian co-educational. No, you're not one of those. Ata Nui, that's me. They've got a Pegasus as their school animal. That's all I need. Okay. All right.

You can say that over Christmas so people don't think you've got COVID. Oh, yeah. Where are you from? Oh, from Christchurch. What school did you go to? Ata Nui High School. I rode a Pegasus to school every day. Now it's unbelievable.

Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, the top six things you'll see in traffic when leaving Auckland on release day. Yeah. When you're looking around

in other cars, what are you likely to see? I've got the top six things you will see with your eyes. Next on the show, a very confusing moment in an international football game. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan.

A qualification match on September 25th is still causing issues. Right. This was a qualification for the 2022 Women's Asian Cup football. Jordan played Iran. Now, Iran beat Jordan 4-2 on penalties. Right. It just sounds like you're talking about one person. Jordan played Iran. Oh, Jordan. Jordan 4-2 on penalties. Right. It just sounds like you're talking about one person. Jordan played Iran.

Oh, Jordan, yeah. A guy called Jordan played all of Iran. Quite the undertaking. Yeah. The accusation stands from the Jordan Football Association and Prince Ali bin al-Hussein saying they require gender verification on the goalie for the Iranian football team because

the players and people who saw the game say that the goalie is a man. Wow, okay. Zohri Kordai maintains that she is a woman. Right. And her teammates are like,

are you kidding me? To which I'm also like, it's Iran. I don't think they'd let that fly, would they? Or would they? What do you mean? Like, let a male play for?

Let a male pretend to be a female for the benefit of the football team. Maybe, but I was just thinking. Oh, I don't know. Very traditional. Yeah. Very traditional. Yeah. Very traditional country. And conservative, yeah.

Yes. So they require a gender verification check. That's the Prince Ali's request. It's a very serious issue. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Summon to the palace to like.

Yeah, like what? I don't know. Show us. What consists of a Summoned to the palace to like... Yeah, like what... I don't know. What consists of a... You have to get your doctor to be like, yeah. The medical staff have carefully examined each player on the national team in regards to hormones to avoid any problems in this regard. So I will tell all fans not to worry. Right.

Says the Iranian representative. She's also not unheard of. Like, she's been playing for a long time. Yeah. It just feels like it's all losers. You lost 4-2 and you're just being a sook about it. Yeah. Yeah, it does.

To be totally honest. You've got other stuff going for you, Jordan. Like those things in the cliff that were in Indiana Jones. What? Didn't someone shoot those up or bomb them? What things in the cliff? The things in the cliff that were in Indiana Jones. What? Didn't someone shoot those up or bomb them? What things in the cliff? The things in the cliff.

The things in the cliff, Megan. Oh, Google. You know, like the temples that they carved into the cliff. Things in the cliff. I've Googled Jordan. Jordan's a very old, very amazing country.

I'd love to go there one day. Look at that, Megan. It's carved in the side of the cliff. Things in the cliff. I saw my ex-husband post about that recently. Did you see? God, he's an adventurous lad. He's adventurous.

Since he bloody got rid of the old ball and chain. Bit of dead weight and he's off in Jordan. You got the River Jordan, don't you? Yeah. You got Jordan Sparks. Like, there's lots of good things going for Jordan. You don't need to worry about. Is she not?

No. I thought she was a representative for the country. You got Air Jordans? Oh, you got Petra by night? I think that's Petra Begoost. Oh, of course it is. She loves going by night. Little Petra.

Yeah, that's like another thing in the cliff, though. The Dead Sea? That's in Jordan? Yeah. I want to go to the Dead Sea. Or you can go canyoning. Is that the one where you float or you don't float? You float.

You float. Very salty. Very salty. You get the mud and you rub the mud on. It's the Dead Sea mud. I'd love to go to the Dead Sea. Or you can go canyoning. Is that the one where you float or you don't float? You float. Very salty. Very salty. And you get the mud and you rub the mud on. It's the Dead Sea mud. Yeah, I'd love to go there. I think this list of 12 things to do in Jordan's a bit stretched out. Really?

They stuck to like a 10. They should have gone for 6. But it's probably because Iran had a top 10. And they had to beat them by 2 after they got beaten by 2 on penalties. Probably. All right, 14 past six. Next, a woman has been reamed for saying she'll remortgage her house for something.

Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. A big thanks to McCafe. Yeah. Where did that come from? I don't know. Thank you very much. Oh my god, Is it holidays yet? I'm just excited about seeing my mum.

Oh, shoot. You're not going to. And my dad, too. You're going to be able to go home for Christmas. I'm pretty jazzed on it. I was outside when it got announced and Sade was like waving at me. I'm like, what? She's like, you're going to be able to see your parents for Christmas. And I was like waving at me. I'm like, what? She's like, well, you're going to be able to see your parents for Christmas.

And I was like, eh. Oh, bless you, Brie. Because for those that don't know, you're winning out of all your siblings for Christmas. So my sister is claiming she's never missed a Christmas either. Oh, bullshit. I said bullshit. She said, I came home for your wedding from OE and I stayed for Christmas. I was like, I think I'd remember that.

That's some bullshit. That sounds like it would be legit. Your wedding was very close to Christmas. She would have stayed. It was like nearly six weeks away. Yeah, that's a lot of annual leave. I don't know. We'll ask to see her passport.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see some travel documents. Yeah. Anyway, a woman has asked the internet for advice And it's split I know where you two are going to sit on this But she has a sick cat She has a limited budget

Is this woman in New Zealand? Yep In Gizzy She just wants to be known as Tracy Oh wow is she in New Zealand? Yeah So Tracy has said that this cat is seven It was rescued as a kitten from a rubbish dump.

She's been fixed, microchipped, all immunisations. Dumpy. Dumpy. That would be my dream. Maybe she didn't tell us what the cat's name was because she doesn't really want to be identified. She just said, just call me Tracy. Okay.

So she said up until this point, the cat's been healthy and hasn't had much issues. But now the cat won't keep food down. So she went up until this point, the cat's been healthy and hasn't had much issues. But now the cat won't keep food down. So she went to the internet and this is before she's had a proper diagnosis. She said she wants to know how much people are willing to spend on their cats. And she wants, well, she's quite happy to remortgage the house should she need to. Wow. Dump cats are supposed to just last forever.

Immunity or something. Yeah, yeah, because I've been in a dump. But, man, people do spend a lot of money on their pets. They become a member of the family. So if a cat or a dog gets, like, cancer and it needs dog chemo or treatment or whatever, people just pay, even if they don't have house insurance, health insurance, pet insurance. Yeah. So she's had hundreds of responses from people

and a lot of people saying they spent thousands of dollars on their pets. If you were willing to, if you're willing to spend that amount of money on a pet, like if you're like, I'm not going to be able to handle it if this pet gets sick, and I'm going to pay whatever it takes,

that would be the biggest wake-up call for insurance, right? Yeah, but then if your cat's really old, you might not have insurance. No, but that's on this cat's seven. As soon as you fall in love with an animal, get insurance. Get it for a couple of weeks and be like, I don't like you, you're not getting insured.

But if you like it, insure it. But even pet insurance has a cap yearly. Yeah, it does. So like if it goes into thousands of dollars, then you're paying. Yeah, see, I don't know what my limit would be. There'd be a point where if it was too much, you'd just be like, sorry, Tiddles. Also, remortgaging's hard at the moment. Yeah, they've just made new rules.

Yeah, it's kind of got to be to add value to your property or, you know, something like that. So if you went in and you're like, oh, I need to – Tiddles is – Tiddles is – and they're like, what? And you're like, I mean remodel the kitchen. But apparently now you've got to show, like, quotes and plans for, like, remodeling the kitchen or whatever you want

the money for for your mortgage. Yeah. Gone are the days where you could just be like I need a $50,000 holiday to Europe and they're like

yeah here you go and chuck it on the mortgage or a new car. Yeah it's a lot harder. Yeah. So yeah money for your cat would be just as hard now.

So tittles is small. Mmm. Yeah. Mmm. But yeah it's amazing so many people spending thousands and thousands. What was wrong with tittles? No we don But yeah, it's amazing. So many people spending thousands and thousands. What was wrong with tittles?

No, we don't know yet. Oh, Jesus, panic. She's asking pre how much is too much to spend. Get tittles out of the vet. Yeah, go to the vet and then we can weigh in. And then we'll worry about it. Yeah. Yeah.

Now I'm wondering what's wrong with tittles. My mind's running. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan Trade Me have released its 2021 second hand economy report Who knew that was a thing? I love it, I love it, I love the name of it I love everything about it So this is based on Kiwis on Trade Me

selling second hand clothing and a survey of the customers and millennials are leading the charge. So millennials born between 81 and 96, they are most likely to buy pre-loved clothing items. Okay. 78% of respondents in the age group saying, yeah, they'd buy secondhand clothing. 100%. 74% of Gen X and 73% of Gen Z said they also like buying pre-loved items, but only 67% of boomers would purchase used items. But then they buy a T-shirt.

Your dad's buying a T-shirt. It's a T-shirt for life, isn't it? Whereas we buy a T-shirt and we're like, that's done. Well, maybe not me. Actually, maybe not me. I'll just absolutely wear a T-shirt until it're like, that's done. Well, maybe not me. Actually, maybe not me. I'll just absolutely wear a t-shirt till it's dead. Yeah. I have definitely not.

I definitely haven't worn this shirt every day for the last eight years. I put clothing on Trade Me before. Secondhand clothing before. I tried to buy a starter jacket. Don't look at me like that. You tried, what? I tried to buy a starter jacket. Don't look at me like that. I tried to buy a starter jacket. Yeah, yeah, this year. I tried to buy a

1990s Charlotte Hornet starter jacket. It's the jacket he's always wanted that his mum sees on. And now I'm a grown ass man, I'll do what I want. And last minute, I just went completely out of control. Yeah, ridiculous. I feel like you missed the boat maybe on that bash. How much late am I?

Either 30 years late or okay? Like either 30 years later? 30 years. Okay, yeah, 30 years later. Okay. Also, the reason people are doing it is to save money. Right. And there's a bit of an environmental thing there as well. Yeah, the old fast fashion situation, right?

Yeah. Yeah. People are anti that. Yeah. Go into what you purchased on Trade Me. When I started working with you two, I bought heaps of clothes on Trade Me. Like just because there was a woman who used to make clothes too

and I was like, I just was really into her vibe. So I used to buy all my clothes from her and people who bought like nice clothes and then wore them a couple of times and then sold them on Trade Me. I remember Sade used to do a thriving business with Timaru. Right. Whenever she'd sell clothes, it was always like to Timaru, Ashburton,

like small South Island towns. Yeah, but those places don't get the big shops. Not always, and it might have been easier because, yeah, it was from big shops. Yeah. Thriving business. I just found another starter jacket. Okay.

It's a Mighty Ducks one. But see, I don't want an ice hockey team one. I want a basketball team one so I can be cool. God, you're- I want to wear it to Mufti Day. I won't dare take it off. It'll get stolen. That was the other thing.

Mum wouldn't buy me one because she'd be like, it'll just get stolen. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Oh, God, guys, I'm dipping my toe into Facebook Marketplace again. Oh, don't come calling to us when it bites you in the butt. Shabba, shabba, shabba, shabba. Can't help myself. And it's close. The pick-up is close to where Executive Intern Anya lives.

Oh, you're not that friend. So she's going to pick me up a frangipani. Do you remember when my friend Blair and Nelson was like, hey, I won this thing on Trade Me. Can you go to Browns Bay and pick it up? Yeah. I love when people are not from Auckland. I'm like, you know that's the other side of the city.

Oh, where's Pukekohe? Can you go to... Yeah. Their phone number's got an 09 at the start. It's like, oh, I know that's north of Whangarei, but I'm sure. Yeah, my brother used to do that and buy car parts all over Auckland and be like, can you just go get that and then send it down? Oh, my God.

You're that guy now. No, I'm not, because I'm not asking you to send it. I'm just asking you to bring it to work and then... Executive Internania, how far out of your way is this purchase? Well, I haven't been sent the address yet. I've got the address here. Oh, Christ. Let's see.

I feel it's going to be a five to ten minute detour. But Vaughan's putting his punish on you, the punish of Facebook Marketplace. Yeah, and I feel like, Vaughan, I wouldn't mind so much If it was like A more tangible good If you were like

Oh I've got this red coffee table A coffee table's an absolute pain in the ass To transport as an awkward size Bad example But seeds Seeds Are you joking? No it's not seeds

It's over what he said it was It's a seedling It's a seedling It's a frangipani Oh my god He's buying a frangipani. What does that even mean? Two frangipanis. My mum loves frangipanis.

Anyone who has an island wedding, it's their flower. Yeah, I said to him, it's very Gold Coast of you. Is it Gold Coast of me? Oh, yes. I love a frangipani. Why don't you go to a plant shop? No, they're very hard to find.

Very hard to find. Are you telling me that I couldn't just ring King's Plant Barn or whatever plant shop and be like, do you have a frangipani? I've never seen a frangipani. Yeah, to be fair, I don't think they would have them. Well, then in that case, am I going there to be swindled? It sounds like it, doesn't it? Money.

I said, is cash on pickup okay? Because, you know, I'm a stickler for a cash pickup. Oh, now you've got to deal with cash. Yuck. Cash on pickup. Yeah, perfect. I said, great. Do you put the cash on the ground and then slowly walk backwards?

And then they put the frangipani on the ground and you slowly. Are you worried they're not going to shoot you, though, and take everybody to shoot me? I'm just thinking about the movies with drug deals. You have such a weird idea of humanity. Are you over a $20 frangipani? Well, it sounds like these are hard to get. But it's not meth.

You be careful. It's not meth. By the way, I just remembered I had a dream last night that we were walking down the street and this young guy was like, you want to try some meth? And you're like, yeah, I'll take some for later. Why would he do that? For later. I've never do that? For later. I've never done that in my life.

And then he was like, yeah, you know, it's free, but you've just got to sign up. And you were like, okay. And you signed up.

I wouldn't sign up. You took the meth. Yeah. And then you were like, oh, it burns. And you threw it in the bin. And I was like,

what'd you take the guy's meth for? And you're like, well, I just figured I'd take the meth off the streets. I'm like, but he's got all your details! And then put it in the bin. And then we're walking further down the street

and I'm still just like, you shouldn't have gone to the guy who was hawking meth on the street. And then your phone rings and you're like, oh, hello? And it was Meth Guy! He had your number from where you filled out the form for the free meth! I love that I'm in your dreams buying meth. Buying meth? No, not buying! Getting free meth. Right, that I'm in your dreams buying meth. Buying meth? What does that say about

No, not buying, getting free meth. Oh, getting free meth. Right, he was hooking me in. Which is even worse. Yeah. Because he's definitely a catch. But you were taking it

off the street. That was your thing. You're like, because you were like, oh, it burns. I have never ever touched meth so I don't know if it burns. No, I don't either.

Does it burn? I don't know. For anyone that's just tuned in, does it burn? It was a dream. Come on, Matthew. I'm definitely the one out of the show that you think first. Definitely.

You've got too nice a teeth. You've got to stop having cheese before bed. These cheese dreams. Getting out of control. Do you know what it is? What? I'm not drinking. Oh.

And I'm just having a detox. And it's, I don't know if it's purging. Wow. Or this is what you're supposed to sleep like. You're like a stoner that's given up smoking weed and now your dreams are coming back. Now I'm dreaming again. CDM's Fletchborn and Megan.

From the hard to find ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hi there. Today's top Six. The Top Six things you'll see in Auckland traffic when Aucklanders are allowed to leave Auckland on December 15. Yeah.

And that's when the entire country will move to the traffic light. Oh no, actually no, the entire country moves to the traffic light system. It'll be announced on the 29th of November. When that will happen. Yeah. Which will be a day or two after. The 15th. When that will happen. Yeah. Which will be a day or two after. The 15th is a Wednesday. Okay.

Yeah. So that Friday, the 17th, that'll be a busy. Yeah. That'll be a busy day. All on. And that's going to give everybody in the country time to be vaccinated before they let the Aucklanders out. Yep.

Stop saying it like we're all. Oh, you 100% know when you go home for Christmas, if you're from Auckland, someone will be like, have you got COVID? You'll be like, I don't know, I had the test this morning. I'm just waiting. So yeah, double vaxxed,

random spot checks, and more heavily so on the northern border of Auckland. Random spot checks, either for a negative test or a double vax, because Northland's vaccination rates are lower than the Waikato. Yeah. But Queenstown yesterday,

the first to double 90%. Yeah. Nice work. Well, they just beat out Wellington, I think. Ah, that'll be... You know, and both airports still quite terrifying to fly into. Oh, God, yes. Yeah.

So maybe that's a coincidence. Maybe we need to let these other airports in to be scarier to fly into. Yeah, make people appreciate life more. Yeah, exactly. Kiss the ground when you get out. Yeah. The top six things you'll see in Auckland traffic leaving Auckland on December the 15th. Number six, a dad eating odd fellows. Not

really enjoying them, but at least he doesn't have to share them. Yeah. My dad always had aniseed wheels. Oh yeah. We'd be like, no, we can't eat those. Crunchy. That's why. Yeah, they knew. Black jelly beans, but hard. Yuck. Very hard. Number five on the list of the top six things

you'll see leaving Auckland on December 15. A car loaded up so high that no one can see out the back window. And it also has a fuel roof box that's absolutely bulging. A fuel roof box. We use that in winter for the skis. And in summer. In summer. We've got to take the boogie boards down to Harwanumi.

Number four on the list of the top six things you'll see leaving Auckland on December 15. A dad trying to drink a really hot coffee, but it's really hot. And he's like... But he's also trying to drive at the same time. Blow it. Still too hot. Before retiring it to the couple To forget about it

Until it gets to the Huntley Bypass And it will be cold Number three on the list Of the top six things you'll see Leaving Auckland in traffic On December 15 A kid not even touching Their sibling in the back seat

I'm not even touching them Well stop this car I'm not even touching them I'm not even touching them I'm not even I'm close But I'm not even touching them. We'll stop this car. I'm not even touching them. I'm not even touching them. I'm not even... I'm close, but I'm not even touching them. I'm not even touching her! You look!

Look in the mirror! He is dead! I'm not even touching her! Get your hands off! I'm not! My hands aren't on her, Dad! Dad, I haven't even touched her not even once. What?

I'm not allowed to move my hands around now? What, are we living in Nazi Germany? I'm not allowed to move my hands around now? What are we living in, Nazi Germany? I'm not allowed to move my hands around anymore? Come on. Come on. Come on. Get out. I'm not even touching it.

Have a look. No wonder your dad had a piece of polythene pipe to whack you all. Alkathene. Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack. Someone's touching someone now and it's me bloody Alkaline butt. Number two on the list of the top six things you'll see in Auckland traffic. Leaving on December 15. A dad eating a really hot pie while driving one-handed.

And you can tell he's thinking about how it was too hot a day for a pie, but he's eating it now. He's got to keep going. Yeah. He'll worry about the pastry when he gets out of the car. Yeah. Don't worry about the pastry while you're driving. Yeah.

Leave it in your lap. Worry about it later. When you step out, you do this, you do that thing how ladies in short skirts exit cars. You put your knees together and you decide to keep

the pastry in the lap. Yeah. And then... You do the pastry dance. You do the pastry, you do the pastry slide and then you give it the old... Yeah, the old sweep.

The old crotch sweep. It's always quite confronting when you get the vacuum out of the service station vacuum cleaner and you see how many pie flakes are on there. Pie, so many flakes. Oh, mate, you don't know. Maybe Bastion's too young, but look forward to the day where you clean out

your toddler's seat out of the back of the car and you're like... Oh, grim. You're vacuuming the car. You're like, oh, I better go under the seat. You're like, biscuits, a raisin, some French fries. You're like, how the car. You're like, oh, I better go under the seat. You're like biscuits, a raisin, some French fries. You're like, how long will these be? Or a pee.

Yeah. Pee? Will there even be a pee in the car? And number one on the list of the top six things you'll see in Auckland traffic leaving on December the 15th. You'll see a mum driving and you'll think to yourself, I wonder why the dad's not driving. That's sexist. I know it is.

But how many times when you were a kid, did your mum and dad, were you all in the car and your mum drove? Never. When dad had drinks. Oh, jeez. When we'd been out and he'd been drinking. Right, mum would drive home. But I'm talking if you were going on like a family road trip.

No, never. I remember once, and it might be, it's the foggy memory of my dad just being like, do you want to drive? And my mum being like, no. Can you drive? We'd done some long drives. He's like, do you want to drive for a bit? No.

Whereas in our family, I just get to the car first and I sit in the passenger seat because I don you want to drive for a bit? No. Whereas in our family, I just get to the car first and I sit in the passenger seat because I don't want to drive. And she's like, oh, God. And I'm like, hey, look, I called shotgun. I'm not driving. That is today's top six. ZM's Flesh Warner Megan. Play ZM.

Adele, Easy On Me. The album out tomorrow. Rolling Stone today giving it five stars out of five stars you've had an early listen they're just sucking up

I was like oh I'm so excited for this album also that One Night Only yeah TVNZ 2 7.30

on Monday on Monday on Monday for Adele fans at the observatory the Griffiths the Griffiths Griffins Griffiths at the Griffins factory On Monday. On Monday. For Adele fans. Huh? At the... Observatory. The Griffiths. The Griffiths?

Griffins. Griffiths. At the Griffins factory. I saw it and I was like, man, have I been there? And of course I haven't. But I have in a video game. So... I've been there.

I've been there. It's pretty amazing. And movies. There's been movies and stuff up there. At sunset. It looks amazing. Yeah, there's always movies and TV shots. She's sunset. You movies And stuff up there At sunset Looks amazing Yeah there's always Movies and TV shots You got that

Shot up there As the sun was setting And you like Leant over a bit And your thigh gap The sun was between Your thigh gap And your heavage

Yeah my heavage Yeah yeah yeah You had a bit of heavage Thigh gap And you really got up there And made the most Of the grams Yeah it's amazing

That you remember that shot I'll never forget that Okay great Saved it That's my phone wallpaper the most of the grams, you know? Yeah. It's amazing that you remember that shot. I'll never forget that. Okay, great. Saved it. That's my phone wallpaper. Yeah. Oh, no.

Not long and we'll get out. There is a new test and we have COVID to thank for this. So there's a company, a Jerusalem-based company, it's called Salagnostics and they do saliva tests. So they were working on a COVID saliva test. And inadvertently, they have come across a, what could be a saliva-based pregnancy test kit.

You're calling it Salistic. Salivastis. Okay. And yeah, it's a hormone detection. So basically you just, instead of like going to the doctor and getting a blood test or going to the bathroom and using the wee stick, you can just literally put this little stick in your mouth and it will detect if you are pregnant with the hormone BHCG as early as the first day of your missed period. Wow. Is that the same that we test?

Do they detect that same thing? They can be like six days before even your missed period. But it depends on which one you get. Some are more sensitive than others. Those saliva spit tests for COVID do look like pregnancy tests. Have you seen them? The little white sticks.

They're really short though. They're a shorter one. You'd totally get wheeze on your finger if you tried to do wheeze on it. No doubt about it. Because how the pregnancy stick wee test things, do you just sit on the toilet

and then do you just go and then... So you can do it in stream or you can dip it. In stream. Yeah, you start... I remember the instructions when we were doing it. What an amazing way to describe that. You stream. Yeah, you start. I'm reading the instructions. What an amazing way to describe that.

You start, hey, and then dip and then pull out. Like you can't start with the wee on it. You've got to start weeing, then go into the stream, then pull out. At the start of the wee, is that not? Don't use the start of the wee. For some reason, yeah. Like, why is that? It's a clean out. It doesn't have enough of the wee. For some reason, yeah. Like, why is that? It's a clean out.

It doesn't have enough of the hormone, maybe? It just rains after a while. You don't want to click that water off your roof straight into your drinking water. You want to have a flush system. You know, you don't want to. Or is it like when the hose is out on the lawn in summer? It gets hot. You've got to let it run for 10 seconds to get rid of the hot.

That's it. Okay, yeah, the hot wheeze. Wheeze just keeps getting hot, though. Wheeze is a consistent temperature. That's it. Okay, yeah, the hot wheeze. Wheeze just keeps getting hot though. Wheeze is a consistent temperature. But like, that can be cool. You know, like if you're in a flat and then you go to work and, you know,

there's no real discreet place where you'd do it. A saliva test can be way more discreet and that's why they've said they want to make it more dignified and inclusive. Yeah, I could imagine. These cubicle toilets

don't have doors and stuff on them. Yeah, but either you just got to like do it in stream in there and it's like, yeah. You're in the toilet though. The door's shut. Or you've got to collect it and then dip it where? Like in the toilet. I don't know.

It just doesn't feel very. Eat your Yoplait. Rinse the container. I don't even wash the container. Wee in the Yoplait container. Dip the pregnancy stick. Oh, I'm pregnant. Shake. container wee in the Yoplait container dip the pregnancy stick oh I'm pregnant shake

in the purse tip the wheeze I'm not finished tip the wheeze out of the Yoplait container into the toilet and then walk out and if someone's there have a spoon and be like

I just love a Yoplait it's not clean enough it could come back could come back you're having a yogurt yeah you're having a fresh and fruity. Yes, I am.

Yeah. Wow, you're having an acidophilus before a falafel. Well, that's exciting. Yeah. So. That could be the future of pregnancy tests. Yeah, just a wee saliva stick. You could do it at your desk.

Jerusalem-based company. Yeah. Like SodaStream. Is it? SodaStream and saliva pregnancy test Thank you Jerusalem You might be able to add some cola to that as well Yeah and give it three pumps until the air goes

Fletchborn and Megan's Community Notices You just said more big It's more big in America It's more big I was in a rush I had four seconds more Do you know where it's biggerest?

Europe We were just talking about our vaccine passes And I mean there'll be a Samsung equivalent But you can add it to your wallet on your iPhone And then you just double click the button on the side How you do like Apple Pay And it's there baby Yeah

Baby Baby Baby Me, Vaughn Allen Smith how you do like Apple Pay. And it's there, baby. Yeah. Baby. Baby. Baby. Me, Vaughn Allen Smith, ready to be travelling, baby. Yeah. There must be a Samsung equivalent,

like an Android equivalent. I sent my mum that yesterday, saying I got my vaccine passed. Do you know what she said? What? You must have been one of the ones that meant I couldn't. She tried and it was overloaded. But other than being like, oh, that's great news.

She's like, you must be one of the ones that clogged it up so I couldn't. I'm sorry. Did I have some sort of internet priority over you? It took me a few goes, but you just got to keep trying, keep refreshing it. You got to keep on keeping on. Okay, community notices, let's see what's happening. Come in, Executive Intern Anya. Keep trying. Okay, community notices. Let's see what's happening. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Come in, executive intern Anya.

Come in, executive intern Anya. Oh, she's surprised by this. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Oh, you're coming in. Oh, you could have just gone on that microphone. I just meant come in. Like the radio terminology. Come in.

Come in. Over. Not come into the studio. Just come in. Okay. No, I'm here. I'm here. Okay. Well, this took way longer than I thought, but that's all right. Come in. Over. Not come into the studio. Just come in. Okay. No, I'm here. Well, this took way longer than I thought, but that's alright. Well, mixed messages. Well, here's why we need you. It's your two areas of expertise.

One, this comes from the Hibiscus Coast. This is your hood. This is where you're from. Two. Which, by the way, the Hibiscus Coast Facebook page was the... HBC. It started this segment, didn't it? It did. It did.

It's crazy. It and Vic Deals. Craziest pages. Hibiscus Coast. Kyle wants to know, where is the best fried chicken on the coast? Oh, I actually found the best fried chicken on the coast just on the weekend. Didn't I know it? Didn't I know it?

Just at the weekend. Kyle says, I'm talking crispy. I'm talking crunchy. I'm talking moist inside and steaming. I want the neighbours to hear the crunch. Please advise. At 719. It's a cafe.

And at the moment, they're doing Click and Collect fried chicken. And they do a Korean sweet and spicy. And it changed my life. Oh, yeah. God. That just got me salivating. No, it's fried chicken. I'm talking good Korea. I'm talking good Korea.

I'm talking South Korea. Squid Games Korea. I'm talking Squid Games Korea. I'm talking Hyundai Korea. I'm talking Ssangyong Korea. Samsung? Samsung? Samsung.

Samsung Korea? Kia? Kia Korea. A Kia's Korea? Kia is Korea. Is Kia Korea? Kia Korea. Yeah, I think so. And fried chicken. A Kia's Korea? Kia is Korea. Is Kia Korea? Kia Korea. Yeah, I think so.

And fried chicken. Ah, Kia's Korea. You don't need to Google it. It is. Yeah, they are. Is that what you Googled? Ah, Kia's Korea. Solid rating here.

From? I needed to check. Oh, now, for the coast, it's in Coast Whangaparao, formerly Coast Plaza. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All you need to say to the coasties is it's at the plazaaparao, formerly Coast Plaza. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All you need to say to the Coasties is it's at the plaza. It's at the plaza. It's had a name change, though. You don't want to be going, you know,

they probably paid a lot of money for that rebrand. Anyway, Kyle, you've been told. Tiffany Blue, that's nice. We can help. Next up on the, you guys, what are you looking at? I'm looking at 719. LG. LG is Korean.

LG is also Korean are you looking up Korean companies what else you got for us on the list of Koreaners because they've got great GDP Asia Cement

not familiar I'm familiar with Cement but not specifically Asian Cement hang on I'm just going through this list saying I don't um

no I think that's it I'm out some real I'm out oh Hankook Tyres you see that around don't you yes H-A-N-K-O-K-K Um, no, I think that's it. I'm out. Some real. I'm out. Oh, Hankook Tires. You see that around, don't you? Yes, H-A-N-K-O-K-O-K.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hankook Tires, that's Korean. A lot of Hyundai companies. Yeah, well, they make everything. Yeah, they make a lot of things. They make a bloody bunch of stuff, don't they? Okay, yeah, we said that. Yeah, we've confirmed that. Korean Air.

Oh, of course. Where else would that be from? That would be silly if they were from Japan. Yeah. That's a long list. I know you're not getting a lot of high profile now. I think I'm out. I'm out of all the ones we'd know.

Cool, cool, cool, cool. Let's move along. That was fun, wasn't it? I really liked it. I really liked it. That would be a fun game going forward. What country is this company from? Oh, okay.

And we can call it Country Company. Or where in the world is Carmen Investi in business Diego? If she's investing in Kia, whereabouts is she currently at the Kia factory? Korea. Boom. Oh, no, you got there, but she's gone. But her hat fell off. That's how Carmen Sandiego always worked. Never caught her. Boom. Binga. Oh, no, you got there, but she's gone. But her hat fell off. That's how Carmen Sandiego always worked.

Never caught her. Yeah. All right. We've spent a long time on this, and I will say we've deviated from the task. Next. From the Mount Maunganui Notice Board, Flannel. Yeah. Flannel has put up this post.

Yeah, Flannel. I would like to offer astrology readings for teenagers who are trying to decide what subjects to pick at high school. PM for details. Okay. How's that? An astrology reading if you're unsure. To see what you should do when you go to high school. Amazing.

Okay. Amazing. I'm wondering if science is going to feature heavily. I doubt it, but huh. Amazing. Okay. Amazing. I'm wondering if science is going to feature heavily. I doubt it, but huh. Yeah. Something to consider. Next, from the Ellerslie New Zealand community page, Megan says, I'm sad to say that tomorrow is the last...

When was this one sent in? When was this one sent in, Carwen? What's happened? Oh my god. Like a couple days ago. Oh my god! We may have missed it. Sad to say tomorrow was the last day for Baker's Delight.

Alice Lee! But the Royal Oak one is still open. But the Royal Oak one is still open. What are you, some sort of Baker's Delight? Maybe I go there

for a treat after work sometimes. What do you get? Cinnamon scroll. Yeah, we used to work by one of those. Cheesy Mike scroll. Cheesy Mike scrolls

are pretty good. Very, very carb heavy. It's a breed. Very, very carb heavy. It's a breed. Very, very carb heavy. Predominantly a carb. Very carb, but they don't have the protein offset. Like bakeries then have a sausage roll, you know, you get a bit of protein. Yeah.

It's not happening. Someone said that is very, very sad news. Troy said very, very sad news. I'll miss the scrolls dearly. Dearly miss the scrolls. Residents of Hillcrest, Hamilton East, Fleur says, so random things have happened this morning. This goat named Star-Lord has turned up.

I don't know if the goat came with the name or she's called it Star-Lord and ate all my strawberries. If he belongs to you, can you please come and pick him up? I'm not impressed at all. Yeah, maybe chuck in a couple of punnies there from the supermarket. Yeah, I would actually make it. I'll get them a few more plants because they were growing. Oh, yeah.

They were growing the strawberries. He's eaten the entire plants. This is a raggedy-ass looking goat too. actually make it. I'll get them a few more plants because they were growing. Oh, yeah. They were growing the strawberries. That's right. They were growing the entire plants. This is a raggedy ass looking goat too. This goat looks like it's just like dragged

itself out of a rehab for goats. It's a real messy looking goat. Nah, I'm a bit of a goat aficionado, you see. Yeah, we've got

goats, haven't you? Yeah, I don't want to say I'm a higher class of goat, but they're affluent goats. They're affluent goats. Those are today's

community notices. I had more, but I think we got slightly sidetracked with Korean fried chicken and then thus Korean companies. If you see something

on your local Facebook page, just swallow there. Had a bit of a salivary builder. It's the chicken. It's the strawberries and the goat and everything. And the baker's delight. If you see anything on your local Facebook page,

screen cap it and send it to ours, FEM, ZM on Facebook. ZM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Well, Netflix have announced their number one show of all time. It is decisively Squid Games. Before I tell you how many hours and years as a world we have spent on Netflix, let me put it into perspective. Before Squid Games came along, Bridgerton. That was their biggest. That was Netflix's biggest show.

The Shonda Rhimes show generated 625 million hours in its first 28 days of being out. So that was the start of the year, right? This year? Yeah. Or the end of last year? I don't know, man. Times is irrelevant now. It was the start of this year.

So Squid Game, in its first 28 days of release, it came out September 17, 1.65 billion hours of viewing in the first 28 days. That is 182,000 years. No. What? Yes. As a world, we wasted 182,000 years watching Squid Games only in the first 28 days.

So it's been out longer. Oh, that's confronting, isn't it? That is mind-blowing. Holy hee-ka. I was just trying to find out what was happening 182,000 years ago. So Netflix had previously said 142 million member households. And that doesn't include, I'm guessing, people that have multiple logins for one account? Yeah.

Wow. So they would find it really hard to find out how many people had watched Squid Game. Because they just go by households, right? Yeah, so there could be like four people in the lounge. Just a ridiculous figure. Previously, before Squid Games, it was Bridgeton, Stranger Things with $582 million.

The Witcher Season 1, follow that. The Witcher Season 2 comes out soon. Yeah, 13 reasons why Excuse me, I want to tell everybody about shirtless Henry Cavill. If you've not watched Witcher, did you ever watch Witcher? Nah. Get on board with Henry Cavill. That'll give you that. If you've not watched Witcher, did you ever watch Witcher? Nah. Get on board with Henry Cavill.

is not my cup of tea. Oh my God. What is wrong with you? Why is he not your cup of tea? Two, he's Superman. But you're all American. No,

not in this. He's not because he speaks with his British accent, which is hot. He's like got a sword, again, phallic and hot. He has a hot steamy bath.

He's got a hairy chest and that's hot. He's got like silver hair and like different coloured eyes. It's hot. The hot He has a hot steamy butt He's got a hairy chest And that's hot He's got like silver hair And like different coloured eyes It's hot The whole thing's a hot hot show He's just not my vibe I'm not yucking your yum

I'm just He's not my He's not my vibe Are you coming out to your wife tonight? Or She's on board with Henry Cavill Yeah, right It's purely

I wouldn't know where to start On a man like Henry Cavill I feel like if I was To come out to my wife and the first man I slept with was Henry Cavill, where to from there? Yeah, that's jumping in the deep end of the pole. I might go for a walk and accidentally climbing Everest. She couldn't be mad though. She wouldn't be mad.

I think she'd even watch, mostly for the Henry Cavill part. Jesus. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. So Pete Davidson has done a podcast and on there he made an admission and everyone's asking follow-up questions. Obviously there are no answers because it's a podcast. He said he makes a mean cup of noodles. So he goes to Costco and he gets pre-made ramen noodles

and then he goes home. God, I'm excited for Costco to come to New Zealand. Why do you want a cup of noodles? No, you know I just love bulk buying. Yeah, a huge bulk buying. A huge bulk buyer. I love it. And then he said, and since I don't know how to boil water,

since I'm dumb, I go to the Keurig, which is like a coffee machine, right? And so you can just push the button and the hot water comes out. And it gives you hot water. Because I know we've talked about this before, but Americans don't have kettles. They don't have jugs. They don't have jugs like we do here and in Britain. Because of, is it their power, the way their power supply is?

Because it doesn't heat my hair straightener all the way. It doesn't beep. When you've been on holiday there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's something about the power, right? I tried to plug in something and it was just like, wow. Because if they boil the kettle, they chuck it on the stove.

Yeah. So they do have jugs, but they're stove-type jugs situation. That's so weird. And a lot of Americans have those coffee filter machines, rather than jugs as well. And it's got a timer in it, like fills up with water and it flicks on it. Yeah, weird.

But come on, he's an adult. He can put a pot on the stove. You put water against heat and wait till it bubbles. Like it's not hard. Don't question how he's doing life. He seems to be doing okay. Yeah, let's not forget that.

Maybe that's the secret to this string of high profile celebrity lovers and a job and movie roles and pay and everything. He doesn't have to do that if he's going to be with Kim Kardashian because she's got shifts anyway. Uh-huh.

Imagine what he'd look like if he has to, if he's going to be with Kim Kardashian because she's got chefs anyway. Uh-huh. Imagine what he'd look like if he actually ate well. He went from his mum's basement to Kim Kardashian's house. He's just absolutely doing so good at life, eh? And he can't boil water. Amazing. Yeah, he's funny. He doesn't need

to do anything else. But yeah, he can't boil water. So I'd love to know what like basic task you've got this far in life. That's what we're going to ask this morning. Maybe you try these things and you just can't. The basic skill. Maybe you've never had to try. Yeah.

Well, no, that's the thing. Like, what about like, have you gone flatting with people that move into a flat and they don't even know how to wash clothes because mum's always done it? Yeah. And they put the bloody powder in the middle bit. I'm terrible at cooking pasta because I never do. I never really do. But it's not hard. No, it's so hard because I'm like, when's it ready?

And Sade's like, bite it. You'll be able to tell. And I bite it. I'm like, I can't tell. Or like spaghetti sticks on the wall. Is that what you throw at the wall? But then I have to clean up the bloody window that I'm like, I can't tell if it's real. Or like spaghetti sticks on the wall. Is that what you throw at the wall? But then I have to clean up the bloody window that I'm throwing there. But you can taste when you bite it.

No, I can't. I'm like, yeah, that's really. And then she's like, you haven't cooked this enough. I'm like, ah. It's al dente. Yeah, what's al dente, man? I thought that was outside. A slight bite to it.

That's al fresco. Al dente's inside Yeah, yeah Of course It bites and it's soft But then I'll overcook it and it becomes like spaghetti soup But maybe you're trying to mow the lawns And you couldn't

Because you'd never had to do that Start high, work low Don't go in too low, you'll scuff your lawn Alright, what basic task can't you do? It's 11 minutes away from 8. Pete Davidson has revealed in a podcast... That he doesn't know how to boil water. He just gets hot water out of his coffee machine.

I mean, he could do it, right? He's just... I mean, I'm sure he could figure it out. This is absolute bachelor life. To be honest, if the coffee machine's got the boiling water, why not? Yeah, I'd probably use that too. Yeah. But what basic task can't you do?

Is there something that you struggle with as an adult? Some messages in. Can't drive a manual car. Never had to. But if you never learnt in a manual, it would be quite hard to go and get into that, right? I'm 26 and I can't wash my hair without getting shampoo in my eyes. It just tries their might.

I just can't. Just shut them tight. Maybe you've got a funny forehead. I don't want to cast aspersions. Maybe you've got to run like a depth. Like the slopes down into your eyes. You've got a concave top of your head and it flows down into the forehead. Are they standing under the shower when they're lathering?

Yeah, I really want to see them how they're doing it. I feel like I could help you. This is a flawed technique. Yeah, or just tilt your head up. But it is one of those things you always do it by yourself, right? Yeah. No one's there to be like, oh, no, you're doing that wrong. Do you think they use no-tears shampoo?

Oh, they'd have to. I'd hope so. Lisa, good morning. Good morning. How are you? Good. Now, what is the basic task as an adult that you can't do? Oh, look, I just cannot get my head around chopsticks.

I don't know what it is. I just can't manage them. And I lived in Southeast Asia for six years, and I, yeah, I just can't use them. Were you that white person that's like, can I have a fork? Yeah, every time. Every time. Every time. But my whole family can use them. Were you that white person that's like, can I have a fork? Yeah, every time. Every time.

Every time. But my whole family can use them, just not me. It's a bit mortifying to me. Maybe it's a brain block because you immersed yourself and you still can't do it. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. I still get frustrated. Because you can get the training chopsticks where they joint at the end like a hinge.

Yeah. Yeah, I know. I've tried those too. It's a fail. Yeah. Yeah, I know. I've tried those too. It's just pale. I mean, you can at least stab the chicken or the vegetables, but it's when you get the rice, it's very hard to stab rice. Lisa, do you have a dexterity

issue? Do you struggle? What about knitting or something like that with the fingers? Knitting, I'm good. I don't know what it is with chopsticks. I just can't get there. You can knit, but you can't chopstick. Amazing.

That's amazing. Lisa, thanks. You call. Keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 dials at M. The basic adult tasks that you struggle with. We want to know the basic tasks that you can't do as an adult. What can you do?

This is some amazing messages in. I'm 26 and I can't open a banana without squishing it up real bad. Use the monkey technique. You use the monkey because I bet they're trying to pop and bend the top. But use the monkey technique. The non-stalked end, you squeeze it and it comes open and then you just pull it open. It's not hard.

No, it's very easy. Are they getting really green bananas? Get softer ones and that top bit will just pop off. Oh, yeah, but then, yeah, you've got to get in. Maybe they're just roughly fingered. Yeah, right. Individual. They've got no dexterity, no soft touch.

I was away from school when they taught subtraction and I just never caught up. Never will. Now I'm going out with a teacher who's trying to improve my primary level maths and I'm 45. I was there for all the classes, and I still don't know. So don't be hard on yourself. My body was there.

Yeah. My mind was elsewhere. Lauren, what's the basic adult task that you just can't do? I'm 41, and I can't blow up a balloon. Oh, grow up. Yeah. I've got two kids. I've had many parties over the years and I've never been able to man up and blow up a balloon for them.

What is it? Are you not blowing in there hard enough? You're like... Well, I'm good at blowing other things, but I just can't keep... I just can't do it. It's like there's just spit everywhere and there's just no air. Is it? Right, okay. Are you worried that you're going to give yourself an aneurysm or something if you do it too hard? Well, maybe, maybe.

But then I can't tie the meters. If somebody hands me one, I'm just out of the game. You're just like, oh, no. You are literally useless in the balloons at any party. Yeah, yeah. Wow, okay. All right, Lauren, thanks for your call. Gav, what?

See ya. Gav, what? Ash. Oh, Ash. Good morning, Ash. What task can't you do? I can't flip a pancake. Oh, what about an omelette?

No way. If she can't flip a pancake, she can't flip an omelette. The omelette's the hardest of the flipper. Scramble the eggs. Yeah, totally. Scrambled eggs with some capsicum in it. That's me. I meant to make scrambled eggs all this time.

What's the result, though, if you try and flip a pancake? Well, sometimes they come out right. They actually turn into omelettes, weirdly enough, and I can't flip an omelette. Right. I don't think you're giving it enough time, Ash. Yeah, you're letting the bubbles pop on the top. And maybe you're not using enough, like, butter or oil?

Well, the other thing as well is I could make the best batter in the world. It always burns. Like, I can't. How hot are we running our pan? Are you doing a test pancake? You always got to do a tester. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, then the tester burns and I'm like, oh, I just want pancakes.

I don't think we can help you, Ash. I think we've tried. It's like that meme. Pancakes are like children. The first one's always a bit. That's flesh. I only said it because it's flesh. Excuse me.

Gav joins us. Good morning, Gav. What basic adult task do you struggle with? Well, I'm a bit like her. I have a problem with eggs. I've just turned 60 years old. I still cannot boil an egg properly. Wait, what are we after, Gav?

Are we after a soft boil? I like a soft boil. I love the old, like, right back to childhood, the old soldiers and the soft boiled egg. Oh, Gav. It's been four minutes, isn't it? And I cannot do it. So you open your egg and you're like, oh, it's hard again.

Eggs, it's either too hard or it's just still runny. Yeah, just too. Are you running a timer, Gav? Oh, God only knows. Gav, you've got to. Gav, I don't want to. I need help. I don't want to name drop here Gav

but I'm going to I was taught to soft boil an egg by Lord My friend Lord Are you familiar with Lord Gav? Who's my friend Lord? Get Lord to make my breakfast for me She's busy She's otherwise engaged

But you've got to time it and here's where you've got to bloody watch it. Six and a half minutes. You get the water boiling. You put it into the boiling water, but not from the fridge because then you get a crack. You're more likely to get a crack. Six and a half minutes, Gavin.

You rip it out of that water with tongs, and you put it into ice water. That's a hard-boiled egg. Six and a half minutes. No. Seven minutes for a medium- That's a hard-boiled egg. Six and a half minutes. No, no. Seven minutes for a medium-sized egg to hard-boil, eight for a large. What's a soft-boiled time then? I thought it was six and a half, but you're not sitting it in there while the water heats up. So it's already boiling, so I don't know if that's because you know when you put it in,

you start your timer when it starts boiling. But that would be even harder. Seven. Six for a runnier egg. Yeah, six for a runny egg. So this is what I'm talking about. Okay, so go six. Six. Out of the boiling water into an ice bath. And then that stops it.

Bingo. So it's going to stop it at a perfect state. Otherwise it will keep cooking, Gav. Correctamundo. Because it's got the heat inside the shell. So Gav, let's start from the start. Boil some water. Take the egg from room temperature into six minutes timer. Six minutes.

Go. While that six minutes is starting, it's counting down, Gav. Give yourself some ice and some water in a pot. Stir it up. Yep. Then the minute that six minute, grab it with the tongs in the ice water. Hold your horses. Then eat it.

You've got a soft-boiled egg on the way. Now, Gav, try that at the weekend and report back to us on Monday. Okay, I promise I will. Okay, thanks, Gav. Six minutes. Oil. We need to know, Gav. Six minutes out.

Yep. Got a follow-up. Thanks, Gav. A couple of text messages to finish up. Remember we were talking about the person who couldn't shampoo without their shampoo getting there? And I said maybe it was the forehead that kind of ran down. Three-finger forehead.

Yep. They said from the eyebrow. Oh, they've got three. Yeah, they've got a three-finger forehead. From their eyebrow to their hairline, three fingers. But it's not a big fourie, is it? No, it's a tiny forehead. So that'll be why the shampoo's just in too proximity.

Might I recommend some goggles? Oh, I was going to say, like when you're washing a baby, get a water cup in the shower and do it on your head. Yeah, you're going to be chanting. Just grow up and shut your eyes. No, it's because it hides in the corner. It hides in the corner of your eyes. Oh, if only you could put your face in the stream of water.

Lizzie messaged on Instagram saying, I can't do a bra up properly. I have to do it up and then put it on. So she does it up and then put it on. So she does it up and then step into it. Some people do that. Yeah, you spin it in the front, you do the clip, and then you spin it around. Yeah, right.

I was like watching that happen because the boobs go like. It comes around, the clip gets up, and then on the way back, the boobs are like, are we going around? Oh, no, we're not. And then they go wing back, the boobs are like, are we going around? Oh, no, we're not. And then they go, boing, back to the middle. Oh, my God, you're such a teenage boy. Are you a teenage?

Yeah. No, no, it's more the confusion in the boobs. They're like, wait a minute, where are we? Are we going around? You just said, I want you to let the boobs go, boing, back. And then they go, oh, no. No, no, no, no. We can't go around there. We stay around here.

Boing. And back they come. ZM's Flesh, Worn and Megan. Clay. ZM. My house is full of cuttings. It's full of plants. I've been, we haven't had a lot else to do.

So I've been propagating all my house plants So this is where you take your cutting And then you make new roots grow And then you've got a free plant It's a clone though Here's where we need to tread lightly Inbreeding No because they're exactly the same

If they become Susceptible to a disease They're all going to be wiped out. Like a plant. You got me? Like a plant COVID. Yeah. Oh, God.

Don't get us more distressed about it. Our clones, the propagated plants are clones. Okay. Whereas if they grow from a seed, it might be, you know, some pollination. Right. From a different plant. It'll be a little bit different. Don't come around here with your scaremongering.

I'm just saying, do we want another Dutch elm disease on our hands? I have no idea what you're talking about. I mean, Dutch elm disease didn't affect me, so. Well, you're not a Dutch elm, are you? No. If you were a Dutch elm, you'd be talking quite differently. So this is where Megan raises a point. Yeah.

Because you've come to us. Because, okay, so I've propagated lots of my houseplants. I've got heaps of one type. I have got a new leaf on my propagated monstera, which filled me with joy. Monstera leaves are neat because they're like, what am I? I'm all curled up. I'm just a little light green spike.

Yeah. Am I a spike? Am I a new... A beautiful butterfly. I am a floppy leaf. Then they go harder and darker over time. I've got two at home and they're the one thing I can keep alive. Monsteras. What are they?

Yeah, Monsteras. Well, I... Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Applause. You know how hard I struggle with plants. Like the thought of propagating one and taking cutting.

Intimidating. Mind-blocking. Very intimidating. So, yeah, I mean, I've propagated all the houseplants I have. Tried to, anyway. But then when we went for a wee walkies, we went for a walk, and I was like, oh, they have such a lovely, don't know what it was, insert plant here.

This is in someone's front garden. Yeah. Okay. Over the fence. Over the fence. I wouldn't have to go into the yard. I wouldn't have to go in there. Would you reach over the fence? And give it a wee whoop. Okay. Over the fence. Over the fence. I wouldn't have to go into the yard. I wouldn't have to go in there. Would you reach over the fence?

And give it a wee whiff? Snap. Please note, have not done it yet. Okay. But I would like to know. But it's like if a mandarin tree is hanging over the road and there's a mandarin. That's public mandarin. That's in council airspace.

That's in Berm airspace. Is it? That's your mandarin. I don't know if it is. Not over the fence. Not anything over the fence. I think we're going to need some ruling on that because I think you're making that up.

I've got cute hiccups. Sorry. I think you're making that up. Killed hiccups is what they are. He's taking a cutting without permission. I wanted to know whether it was okay if you could just do a little sneaky wee

sniparoo. Without asking. I'm in the same situation. I want to, after propagating my fig tree, after it blew over in the wind, RIP to Figgy Azalea. Is that what you called it? Yeah. I thought we'd cancelled Figgy Azalea.

Why wouldn't Figgy Azalea do it? She's been very outspoken on things. Oh, no. Well, this is, okay, figgy pop. People are like, oh, willows are super easy to propagate. And you can even get a willow and like chop it up and like put it in some boiling water and then let the water cool and use the willow juice

to make everything else's roots a rooting hormone. Is that like banana skins? You can do that with banana skins? Yeah. Because of the hypertension. Or just get some stuff from the plant store. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's no fun in that. But people are like, oh, you should plant willows because cows love them,

goats love them, and they're also like super easy to grow. And now I'm like, well, I want to find a willow tree and take some snips. Yeah. See? Willow tree. I think you've got, if it's someone's plant, you're basically taking it. No, I'm not.

You're taking a portion of the, you are, you're taking it home with you. No, a little snipperoo. Like, we're not, I wouldn't do it if it was like one little delicate branch. Would you walk past somebody's car on their front lawn and say, I'll just take the wing mirror? No.

But the wing mirror's not going to grow back. Yeah, it's like downloading. It's more like pirating a plant. Okay. So if it's just a big Hollywood movie studio, it doesn't count. No. The guy from Metallica is going to try to stop it, but he won't be able to.

You'll be able to download a plant. But someone has just messaged in saying you should knock on the door and ask the owners. Because if really like flatter them on the plants, people like being flattered on their plants. Right. And then they'll be like, of course you can take a cutting because my plant is so wonderful.

My plant, I am so great. Oh, it's an ego thing. It's an ego trigger. Yeah, I would. If someone did that for me, I'd be like, oh, my God, I am amazing. Oh, my God, do you want the whole thing? Yeah. Get a spade, come around and dig it out.

Okay, now we, so we asked, we ran a poll on our Instagram story, and I wonder if, because we used the image of giant, beautiful monstera leaves. Oh, I'm not gonna go to someone's house and just like, cut away, because you need two branches and a little root nub. I'm not

gonna like, cut away half the monstera and then sneak out of the house. Well, we asked, is it okay to take a cutting without asking? With, you know, the big giant monstera picture. 83% said nah, it's not okay. Damn it. Without asking. Ask another question, Carwin.

What if it's a willow tree? No, don't do that. What about in a park? Yeah, see, that's like the people's park, right? Because it's a willow tree? No, don't do that. What about in a park? Yeah, see, that's like the people's park, right? Because it's a council park. And I'm not digging it up. What about... I'm just going to...

Here at work, out there, there's some grasses. Now, I've got grasses like that at home, but two of them have died. No, because you're going to have to dig that up. You can't propagate that. That's what I was going to do. Dig it up. I can't find the matching grass. So I need that grass.

No one's going to know. They'll just assume it died. No one's been here for 90 days. What are you digging up? Where? The grass. Not this one here. Oh, you can't dig that up. Up in the corner, like the long... You can't dig that. Mike Hoskins looks at that every morning. Grass. He doesn't look out the window.

It would actually make my day if he noticed that there was a gap in the grass and it drove him to the point of insanity. Imagine if that was what broke Hosking. All of this year, all it took was somebody taking one of the grasses out and he's like, the grass plant is not full.

The grass plant is not full. And then he snaps. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Yesterday, the government announcing that Aucklanders can leave Auckland on the 15th of December and on the 28th of November or 29th? 29th. 29th, they will announce when the country will move into the traffic light system,

but it's expected to be very close after that date, maybe the next day or that night. And that is when we will all be needing our vaccine passports, our vaccine certificates on our phones or printed out to get into bars and restaurants and gigs over summer, various places. Everywhere, you imagine? Basically, yeah. Looking at what's happened in Melbourne and Australia, you just can't go out without it, basically.

Yeah. And there is a warning. QR code. Yeah, so it says, have you got yours there, eh? I do. Pretty easy. Do you like the colours? Oh, it's just the same as the vaccine card.

Yeah. So it just says my vaccine pass, and then it's got your full name, your date of birth, and then it's got a little QR code, which expires in six months. You can't get this until you've had both, right? Because it doesn't say on mine, both received. can't get this until you've had both, right? Because it doesn't say online both received. You can download it once you've had both shots. Yeah, but when you've just got one, you can't get it yet.

Yeah. So there is a warning from some IT security experts saying you shouldn't be posting these on social media because, or especially whole. I mean, I've seen some people posting covering their, like, date of birth or covering the QR code. That would be smart if you are going to share it. But don't, just don't. Because they're worried that if people have a similar name

or they could just download it and Photoshop it and then use it. I mean, the chances are they do say very low. Well, you just said you saw it on your community page, Megan. I was wondering, when I'm like, yeah, this is me, and then are they going to be like, Anne, can you just prove you're Vaughan Smith? So, a lot of businesses or festivals or concerts that you go to

are going to be able to have their own app that scans your pass. So, it'll come up, it'll say Vaughan Smith, it'll say you're vaccinated, it'll say your date of birth. But you could also, in the meantime, go into a place and they could say, well, show us your photo ID and then check it. Match it up.

Yeah. Okay, cool, cool, cool. With your date of birth and your name. Cool. Random spot check. So yeah, so I mean, you're using someone else's pass. And then I think it's also quite a big fine as well because you're using it like a forged official document. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. It is that it's a government document, isn't it? Yeah.

So to get it, if you haven't already got it, you need to register a My Health account. You get that at health.govt.nz. Now, if you've already got a RealMe account. You can sign in using RealMe. Yeah, super easy, which most New Zealanders would have, right? Because you need one to get a passport, apply for a passport and various things. Yeah, if you've applied for one of those.

IRD, if you have to log in there. Yeah, if you've dealt with the URD. Or like ever, you have to have one to start a business. Yeah. Any of those sorts of things. So you can link those two. And then it gets your identity from there. Otherwise, if you're helping out parents

and they don't have a RealMe, I think you've just got to have a passport or a driver's license in the registration process. Yes. Yeah. Easy peasy. Lemon squeezy.

And then it's like, yeah, okay, we'll email it to you. Could take up to 24 hours. It took about 24 seconds for mine. Yeah, mine came through straight away. And it was yesterday, and I've noticed this morning some people saying it's quite hard to log in and start an account. But you've just got just try a few times. I think I tried like five times.

I was busy yesterday because everybody wanted to see how it worked. And then you can go to add in the email. So you don't even need to leave the email. It says add to Apple Wallet or add to GPay, save to your phone if you're using Android. And then you just add that. And then if you've used Apple Pay, you double click on the side button and it brings up your credit card and then it's in there.

It's in your wallet. Or the home button for home button users. I don't like to talk to poor people though. If you've got a home button. Megan had a button literally last week. I know but she's a better class of human now because she's got a better phone. She doesn't have a home button. So if you've got a home button, what do you do?

Double tap it. Double tap that. Double tap your home. And then double tap. And then, I don't know. So if you don't. Go back to your caravan park. If you don't use your phone. I'm only joking around.

I just, I didn't know. If you don't use your phone for Apple Pay or your credit cards, if you double tap, it'll just bring up whatever's in your wallet. In your wallet, which is your vaccine pass, super accessible. And it's apparently, it's the same for Android. Yeah, the Google Pay.

Yeah. You just hold down the button. And it'll pop up. Yeah. I don't even know how to talk to them. I know how to talk to the poor people with Apple, but I don't even know how to approach them. If you're helping out someone,

the every man over here, if you're helping out someone like a parent and they don't have a smartphone, that email, you can print off that certificate. And also they are, they were saying at the news conference yesterday, they are going to have places that people can go to to have them printed out. Cute!

Can they have little chaos tests for us to send our parents to rather than have to do it over Zoom? Yeah, and there's also an 0800 number. No, you've got a responsibility. No, my brother can do it. He lives there. He won't know how. They wiped your ass.

You've got to show them how to download the COVID vaccine pass. Oh, that rhymes. That's a slogan the government can use for why you should help your parents or anybody in your life that's struggling with the technology get there. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day comes to us from Florida in the 16- year period preceding 2007

Because a report came out in the New England Journal of Medicine Yeah That something was considerably more deadly in that 16 year period than sharks Crocodiles No Alligators Crocodiles are alligator attacks Yeah

More deadly than sharks in Florida. Yeah. But still not as many as this. Jellyfish. Is it an animal? It's not an animal. Is it an insect? No, it's not an insect.

It's not a living creature. Is it old people? No, it's not old people. It's... What is officially called recreational sandhole collapse. Ooh, okay. Oh, okay. Oh, like quicksand. No.

It is literally where you dig a big deep hole at the beach and you sit in it and then the sides cave in and bury you alive. Oh, my goodness. No. I don't think I'd ever go past my waist. Just enough for the mermaid tail. I've done it at the beach and you get to the point and the water starts filling in at the bottom.

And that's when you know you're just fighting a losing battle then because water and sand. I don't like getting too close to sand. It gets everywhere. I don't like it. You don't like sand? Nah, not a lot. All right, Anna can skywalk.

Star Wars reference. Whoop, whoop, whoop. Got one in. Anyone keeping score of how many times I can get Star Wars reference? I think Anna wants to go home. She's had enough. Doesn't like sand. No.

This would be an absolute nightmare for you then. Seven documented deadly episodes of recreational sand hole collapse. Wow. They just dug big, deep holes in the sand. Are they digging themselves in? Well they're digging a hole and they're in the hole right So they're digging And they're in that hole at some stage

That it collapses See I'd use some driftwood bracing If you're going to go deep He's talking about setting up a whole mining situation Yeah absolutely I saw a photo the other day I can't remember where but these people had Dug a really amazing,

they'd almost dug like a little pit so they could sit in it with a round table in the middle so they could drink in it. Cool. That's so cool. It wasn't like, it's just seat depth. Yeah. And so they dug, you know how like there's that lounges, sunken lounges.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of made a comeback. Conversation pits. Conversation pits. Conversation pits. It was like a sand conversation pit. Cool. And then they let the water come in in the sitting bit? No, they were just in the sitting bit up the beach.

I don't know where I saw this. Maybe I saw it on Instagram. That's the hardest part about picking the right place to dig a hole that you can enjoy. Yeah. Is that, are you too close to the water or are you too far away? Because you get too far away,

the dry sand hard to shape. Yeah. Too close, you're going to lose it before you get your job finished. I was recently at the beach with a friend and I said, did you ever do that thing when you were a kid

where you dug a hole and then put sticks in it and then covered it over so your brother would fall in it? And they were just absolutely shocked. That is like... I'll take you a step further.

No. We used to do that and then build a sandcastle on top. So for the people who walked down the beach stomping the sandcastles would stomp straight through it and onto our booby trap.

It was like an Indiana Jones booby trap. And do you know the weirdest part about it is? What if you would pail people on your driftwood? Our parents saw us doing it and didn't stop us. Now if I saw my kids doing that I'd be like, guys, that's actually really dangerous.

But my parents were like, ha, that'll teach them for stomping the sandcastles. Someone's going to text in and be like, what beach was this? I've got to stick through my foot. No, I feel like, ha, that'll teach him for stopping a sandbag. Someone's going to text in and be like, what beach was this? I've got a stick through my foot. No, I feel everybody did this,

right? Totally. Here's my booby traps. Beach booby traps. We used to do them at home. Like on the farm, we'd dig a hole and then put like

light sticks across and then I'd cover it with grass and try to catch animals. You weren't leaving big spears at the bottom of them. They were just driftwood sticks.

You weren't sharp. They weren't sharp. of them. They were just driftwood sticks. You weren't sharp. They weren't sharp. Were you not sharpening yours? Well, where we stayed at 308 Ocean Beach Road in Mount Maunganui, there was one of those concrete pipes where the stormwater drains onto the beach, and we used to sharpen the sticks on the concrete. Jesus. Again, not stopped.

Not even told not to. This is on your parents, really, to be honest. I was a minor. I don't know what I was doing. I'd be out of jail by now, though. Yeah. That's rude. Unless I'd, you know, gone to prison, gone into the juvenile system,

and then just never been able to get out. Somebody listening that lost their nan to a booby trap. Well, your nan was a bitch for jumping on my sandcastle. I don't want to speak ill of the dead. I assume she died in my ferociously deadly trap, but she shouldn't have snubbed that sandcastle. And people messaging in saying that, yeah.

Someone said they'd leave holes full of jellyfish. Yeah! We did that too! They were never the really, really poisonous ones. They were ones that washed up on the beach, but yeah, we'd put them in the bin because we just assumed every jellyfish should get you. The other kids that made them are in prison. They were ones that washed up on the beach. But yeah, we'd put them in the bin because we just assumed every jellyfish should get you. The other kids that made them are in prison. They can't text in.

We'll get their mail. They'll handwrite us a letter. Yeah, they will. So today's fact of the day. How did we get onto the... Oh, more people. And then by the way, they studied this in Florida

and then they found out it's actually worldwide. Right. More people die from digging a deep hole at the beach and it collapsing on them than shark attacks. Wow. Fact of the day, day,ch, Ron and Megan. Wow. Glenfield College on the North Shore.

Yeah. Who else is over there? Rosmini. It's time to... Is Rosmini on the shore? Rangitoto. Rangitoto. They're a big...

They're a big unit. Yeah. Long Bay. Westlake. Westlake boys aren't old girls. They're not in the news, so are they? No, they're not. It's time to rub your hands together and be like, ha,

because Takapuna Grammar's in the news for naughties. Wasn't that the last big end-of-year prank? Was it Marlborough? Oh, they do Marlborough Boys and Girls. They do the strength, don't they? Yeah. They do dueling pranks on each other. What was the prank that year that one of them ran over the other one with a motorbike?

Yeah, that was the scooter. They streaked and then somebody else went through the scooter, nude or in their undies, and someone got run over. Someone got hurt. It's great every year there's something funny in the news. Well, it's your turn this time, Takapuna. I would say unimaginative, this one. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Well, it's not. It's not like a really funny thing. They just decided to park up in the common room and have a few drinks. That sounds like less of a prank and more of a, well, what are they going to do? Was there actually a prank? By the end of year 13, they'd be 18-year-olds,

right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, because people start turning 18 around April, that cut-off where they were like, there you go. Yeah, you could buy your own booze and take it to the common room. And what are they going to do though? The drinking age situation is just the big no-no of drinking on school grounds.

Yeah. I mean, don't tell me the teachers don't have a hot you know, a mulled wine during winter? Yeah, or a room temperature shardy in their drawer. Yeah. Is the story that they were having a tipple in the common room or were they... They were visibly tipsy.

Right. They'd made some poor choices and they'd broken the school rules. Is that what they said? Yeah, that's what the principal said. But what are they going to do? Like, oh, you're expelled. Well, no, they said you can't come on Monday they going to do? Like, oh, you're expelled. I'm leaving anyway. You can't come on Monday,

which was when any of your celebrations were planned. Yeah. And then they changed their mind and said, we'll just do it later in the week. But again, you're all naughty. You're all very naughty. Right. But yeah, they said that there was up to 30 of them

just chilling out, having a few drinks, but they were visibly inebriated. I love these stories. And I think it's that time of the year where we open up the phone lines and hear what happened at the end of the year at school. The school pranks that maybe went too far or that are legendary. Yep. Even to this day. Yeah. They still reverberate around the halls at this time of year

where people are like, did you hear about that time? I remember there's always the odd weed killer and the lawn killer. Yeah, that's as a – no, I don't agree with it now. I've changed my mind. It's a lawn. You're siding with the groundskeeper. I'm siding with the lawn. Wow.

I'm on the side of grass entirely. Before Vaughan owned a lawn, he loved a D&B, a doodle and balls lawn killer. Oh, rough. Rough on the lawn. Rough to hear it. All right. Well, we want to take your calls. 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696.

What shenanigans did you get up to at the end of your school pranks that are legendary or that went down? Give us a call. And then drunk our students in the common room on the last day of school. Yeah. So we want to know the shenanigans you got up to on your last day, on the last day of school. Yeah, so we want to know the shenanigans you got up to on your last day, those legendary last day pranks.

I've heard this one before. They said that we had heard about this, so we did this. We released three sheep into the school grounds. The spray painted on the side of the sheep was number one, number two, and number four. And then they're forever looking for number three.

Oh yeah. Where's the number're forever looking for number three. Oh, yeah. Yep. They're like, where's the number three? Where's number three? So apparently in high school in Cape Town, South Africa, it was a tradition that the last day you destroyed your school uniform. Shoe polish, water bombs, eggs, and flour. The younger students had to stay in class and watch us from the windows

as we chased each other and destroyed our uniforms. If a teacher or a principal got in the way, it was too bad. It was just an accepted thing that happened on the last day of our school. Oh, my God. That's wild. Talking about the end-of-year school pranks that maybe went too far, Anonymous, first up, good morning. What happened?

Good morning. At our school nearby, they took a cow upstairs into the staff room. How do you get a cow downstairs? Well, it didn't really go down the stairs, so they had to get a crane to lift it out. Really? Are we allowed to say what school that was?

Is it okay if I say it? I think so. I mean, it happened, right? Yeah. We heard that it was at Long Bay. Oh, okay. That's really good. That's very funny. It is.

Did they catch who did it? Or did anyone have to pay for the crane? I don't know. It was kept very quiet. Poor cow. It would have a night tag. When did this happen? Because it would have a night tag now. You'd be able to trace

the owner of that cow. Five years ago now. A little bit of cow knowledge there for everybody. You've got to stop that microplasma bovis. All right. Anonymous, thanks.

You're cool. Steph, what happened end of year at school? So this wasn't me. It was a friend of mine. They had been taking the lights down after the award ceremony so they had access to a sizz of mine. They had been taking the lights down after the award ceremony,

so they had access to a scissor lift. They thought it would be really funny to jimmy up a ramp to get the scissor lift up onto the stage and then take the ramp away. Ha-ha, it'll be very funny. You know, you have the scissor lift stuck up on the stage. What they didn't realise was that the stage wasn't weighted for a scissor lift, and the scissor lift actually went through

the stage. Oh, no. Yeah. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Yeah, what's a daisy? Wow. Oh, I just go home, you finish school. School can pay, right? Insurance. Thanks, you call Steph.

Some messages to finish up. We took most of the we took turns most of the night digging a three metre by three metre hole in the middle of the school and well buried the dirt all over the school so they wouldn't be able to fill it back up. What a pain in the... I hope you put jellyfish and sticks

at the bottom and then covered it lightly with sticks and made a big booby trap. We had a start of the year freshman Friday. We're all the freshmen. This is the new entrance. But this is at senior high school, so it's not 13-year-olds. It's more 15-year-olds. We duct taped into the walls in the main entry.

This is like someone would lift it and everyone else would duct tape and then you'd grab the next one and do it. And then they couldn't get down. Yeah. We took all the chairs away from every senior school classroom at 8.30 so when school started no one had any chairs. We didn't really

think it through because we didn't have any chairs either. Yeah, you didn't, did you? Yeah. Glad wrapping cars So that teachers can't get into their cars At the end of the year Yeah End of it

My sister was the one that put Pukekohe High School for sale On Trade Me And it sold Oh yeah, that's a good one How much did they get for PHS? I don't know

Because there was another one They put Hot Valley High School Going cheap As is, where is, whereas, few black mould issues. ZM's Flesh, Worn and Megan.