ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 19 November 2020

Episode Date: November 18, 2020

International Pals   Top 6: Biscuits  Community Notices  Vaughan's Gym Trip  The Hunt for the Covid Voice  Fletch's Fillibuster  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Fauna Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the Macca's app to get McCafe rewards today as Megan shops for nappy bags. You know those bags you have to carry around, the mummy bags, the big things that carry everything? Yeah, nappies, wipes, bottles. Snacks for me and baby. And me. Ruskies when they get a little bit older. They have these gross like- Are those yum? Nah, they're real hard and they just chew on them

and then they just slowly turn to slop and then it falls out of their mouth and then you'll be like, oh, what's this on me? It's wet rusky. Because I was like, they could keep me from eating all the time. You just suck on a rusky

and it keeps you occupied. What, it's just like a big lolly or something? No, it's like a biscuit. It's a really hard biscuit. Oh, yeah. It's super hard. The idea is that eventually your saliva softens right but you can dunk it in the coffee for them

like a biscuit a ginger nut just to make it softer correct yes okay good if you need parenting skills megan i am here you're right here the problem is you're looking at these bougie expensive as fuck bags and you don't need to tell her tell her what happens no see you say this without any investigation the bags i was looking at were designer but they were not that much expensive more expensive than the ones that they just the normal ones but are they practical gotta have that practical zip zips here so here that would be a better argument than the price because not entirely entirely. But also, I don't want a huge one. I was like, I can pack it every day.

But you're not going to look great anyway. You're going to be in track pants, vomit. Excuse me? Disheveled, sleepless. Waste of money. It's not. And you've got a bit of poo on your face, and you can't see where it is on your face, so you don't know, and everyone's too scared to tell you.

You've got poos on your face. And it'll be on the bag. The poos will be on the bag. You're wasting your money. Why is the poos getting on the bag? The poos goes everywhere. The poo's not going to be anywhere near the bum. It will be put aside and the nappies will be taken out of the bag. You'd be surprised where the poo can get. On a change table at Westfield and

there's just shart up the wall way everywhere. You need to call the cleaners because they came in half an hour ago and it's time for a new clean. There's nothing wrong with being in the back of the spy newspaper on Sunday and the celebs spot it and you've got some old canvas baby bag. No one's judging. You don't need a Louis Vuitton or a Gucci.

Oh, shit, I wasn't buying either of those two. This is necessary, though. Why aren't you jumping on Vaughn with all his frivolous spending on farm shit? Because that's fun. He buys fun stuff. Yeah.

Like tractors. Something you can play with. I haven't bought a tractor yet. No, right on lawnmower. Is that the key? It needs to be something frivolous that you can play with. Yeah, exactly.

Okay. Maybe you can have the bag afterwards. Maybe I can have the... No, no. Not with all that poo and Vaughn on it. Not at all. Good morning.

Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Megan's got a plaster on. You cut yourself. A little bit. We're always talking about our culinary adventures. Megan's ended in bloodshed. I was just telling Executive Intern Anna about cheeseburger tacos.

Soft-shell cheeseburger tacos that we had last night. Oh, brilliant. Anything can be cheeseburger flavoured. Chicken. No. You put... Mince. Mince.

And add pickles and cheese and that burger sauce from Waddy's. Yeah. I thought last night I've been unfairly blindly only engaging in Waddy's. Yeah. I thought last night I've been unfairly, blindly, only engaging in Waddy's burger sauce. Yeah. So I bought the other two burger sauces that were at the supermarket

as well. Have you bought that one that just says burger sauce? No. Is that the like, that's a countdown. I went to New World. That's the countdown brown.

What's that called? Like Woolworths or? No, it's some weird brand but it's just always been there. Praise? Maybe. Praise? Maybe. Praise is okay. It's not as good as Waddy's.

This is why you're an aficionado. You're all about equality. I like that about you. I tried them all, but Waddy's is still the best burger sauce. Oh, okay. Is that... Yeah, Waddy's is still the best burger sauce. I tried them all.

A liberal lashing of burger sauce on top of the tacos. Right. That sounds so good. It was really, really. It was really good. Yeah, it's just you add pickles and that burger sauce to anything and call it cheeseburger. Cheeseburger eggs.

Yeah. Cheeseburger scrambled eggs. Totally. That's a great idea. The top six is coming up. Yep, it sure is. There's going to be, is it a Tim Tam or a Chit Chat? It's a Tim Tam. It's a Tim Tam, is it a Tim Tam or a Chit Chat? It's a Tim Tam.

It's a Tim Tam. It's a Tim Tam scented candle. Interesting. The top six other biscuits that could do with a scented candle. All right, that's coming up next on the show. It is a New Zealand success story. Oh, we love these. And it's moving into Australia.

So then they'll claim it and we'll turn on them. But by that stage, the business will be like, well, Australia's a larger market. So meh, meh, meh, meh. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Pals, the pastel-coloured cans containing various alcoholic mixes. These cans trigger you because you find a lot of them on the side of the road by your house.

Oh, it drives me nuts Okay this is weird We're going for a run Around the block At our house At our spot And there's always This one spot

Down by And people might also Be aware If they're from the area By In between This really old cemetery And the

Kumu Hupai Pony Club There's always a box of empty foster's cans. It's not the same box? No, because one time, Megan, the council that mow the side of the road hit it with their mower and just

spread it around shards of aluminium. You know, fun stuff. And then like a week later there was another box of empty Fosters cans there. Well, maybe someone's getting lit at the Pony Club. Just sits in the car and drinks a box of Fosters and then just pops them on the side of the road and tunnels off.

It's a mystery. But anyway, that's always like a conglomerate of Fosters. But pals, yeah, you can see them because they're always in those pastel cans yeah or there's a few different um they're not low they're like low sugar

but they're also like low flavour and you're drinking them and you're sitting down in summer and you drink six of them and then you stand up for the first time

and you're just like holy shit they're hard hitters there's a whole lot in the pastel cans but the pals yeah which are the favourite cans, but the pals, which are the favourite of the middle-class white girl getting wasted,

they're moving into Australia. Wow, okay. They're going to spread their wings across the Tasman. Well, spread my wings, I guess it would be more like jumping on board a cargo ship. Yeah. Or maybe, surely it would,

maybe local production would be. Yeah, what happens here? You give them cargo ship. Yeah. Or maybe, surely it would, well, maybe local production would be. Yeah, what happens here? You give them the recipe. Yeah. And then they make it there. Yeah. And you send them a pot of the resin pastel paint that they slap on the outside

and they make the cans so that when people in Australia are now going for a run in the country, so they can be like, oh, cool, people still litter. This is weird. Why do people still litter? When they see those little pastel beacons.

That's all you think about when you think about pals. Yeah, 100%. And there's a few other brands as well, but it's always that pastely can that's had some, like, low-flavour vodka-y water in it that's just chucked on the side of the road. I've always thought about that with like an easily identifiable brand because that's what you want, right? You want someone to take a glance at something and know it's your brand.

Yeah. But then when your brand is littered, it also tarnishes your brand. Something to think about in your next marketing 101. I don't think about them and think, oh, you're creating all this trash. But do you not think about that with fast food when you just see someone's obviously just been thrown? No. I just think the person that did it's a piece of...

Yeah, but that's harder to identify than the brand because they'll put all the effort into being recognisable. Do you not see McDonald's wrappers and think, yum, I could go to... Because that's what I think. I'm out for a run. I'm like, damn, we'll show how to pels right now. But yeah yeah they're

spreading out and going to Australia. Alright nine past six. So expect Australian girls in their 20s to start posting pictures of them getting smashed on them.

Yeah see a girl at the Melbourne Cup upside down with the pals and her legs in the air and she's on Instagram you know they do those Instagram accounts the girls and people of the Instagram. You know they do those Instagram accounts,

the girls and people of the Melbourne Cup? Yeah. Luckily they got through this Melbourne Cup. Yeah. They got a little bit of time to acclimatise to the strength of the drink before the next Melbourne Cup. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. There's a scam text message that's going about.

Thousands of Kiwis have got it. And it sounds like lots of people have reported it. So a lot of people not falling for it, but then gotta worry about the people who did. So this comes from an Australian mobile number. So it's plus six one four seven

blah blah blah. Is it always the same number? Yeah. That's crazy. Because usually it's just, it changes it, right? Yeah. It says we have attempted to deliver your package, UPS, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But there is an unpaid customs charge. Follow the instructions here. And the web address is bit.do, da, da, da.

Right. So there's two red flags for me there. It doesn't, they don't identify themselves. They always say it's whatever company that's delivering your package. Yeah. And then they, that's a dodgy website. It doesn't have any identifiers in the website either. Yeah.

But it's also, it's been a while since I've had a customs, something left in customs that I had to pay. But I remember it being an email and it comes from customs and it's very identifiable. And you go through to the legit government website. Yeah. Yeah, not some.

You're not clicking on a random link that says bit.do and they don't say who they are or anything that's identifiable. But if you're like just going about your everyday life and you're in a rush and you were expecting something that you bought online. Yeah. And it's identifiable. But if you're like just going about your everyday life and you're in a rush and you were expecting something that you bought online

and it's taking ages and then all of a sudden you get this text and you're like, oh. Not thinking. It only takes a handful of people

and they've made, you know, a bit of cash. So they have received thousands of reports of the scam. That's good though. It's good that it's getting reported.

That shows that people are maybe cutting on. But they said it's particularly prevalent at this time of the year because everyone's doing online shopping and stuff so they're trying to scam everyone so just be aware. Be aware. Look out for that. Producer Jared, you're getting messages from a different number.

Yeah, I've got three messages. Okay. Are they the same thing? Like pick up a parcel? Congratulations, you've won. Come pick up your prize. And third and final reminder, come pick up your prize. Third and final. Yeah.

The prize ones you never fall for. Who's falling for those? People who enter a thousand competitions. But like, yeah, you enter a competition and you never win. One's not just falling in your lap and being like, you won. No, but if you're entering competitions the whole time, you'd be like, oh, I must have entered that. I can't remember entering it, but I must have.

Well, your mum's a serial competition. She loves, actually, she's calmed down a bit lately after she won that San Francisco trip. She's chilled out a little bit. Yeah. She still likes Mark Ruffalo because of that, though. Because he was in the movie. He was in the movie. He was in the movie he was in the movie

he was in the movie yeah him and Reese Witherspoon I mean he had nothing to do with the prize he didn't pay for it no he didn't know she won

she likes him right because of it she asked me if she'd like Avengers because she saw that he was in that I was like

you definitely would not like Avengers Fletch, Vaughn and Megan the podcast ZM there's been a study into gaming And the, well look This is the small print you've got to read

It was a study that focused on Over 3,000 players but they were playing Animal Crossing and Plants vs Zombies Plants vs Zombies is It is, it's a great game, you're the plants It's like one of those games where What do they call it?

Tower defense. The zombies are coming and you put a plant that has got a certain ability to stop the zombies and you've got to stop all of the zombies and then the plants win, basically. Yeah, it looks cool. It looks right up my alley. It's pretty cute. It's good fun. So that Animal Crossing's been massive this year in lockdown.

Lots of people playing Animal Crossing. It was an old game revitalized for the Nintendo Switch. And the study showed that it was actually good for people's mental health. Gaming. Yeah. Gaming was good for people's mental health. Now, maybe mostly because this year there would have been a lot of time that people just would have been stuck at their house

and maybe time to, you know, when you're alone with your thoughts, it can be good or it can be bad. And given the state of the world outside, I can see it may have pointed towards bad. But this actually online gaming gave people a chance to socialize with their friends or other people. That's true. Or plants. Or plants.

Or zombies. And achieve a common goal. Right. So, yeah. I mean, but that's the thing. It's looking at Animal Crossing and plants versus zombies. It's good for your mental health until a 12-year-old starts calling you an array of homophobic slurs. When they beat you.

Or you let the squad down when you randomly teamed up with people in Fortnite. That sounds very specific. Yeah, and then they start saying things about your mum and you're like, my mum is a lovely lady. She's over 60 now. I won't have you speaking about her like that. She is someone's grandmother. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

So over lockdown in New Zealand, this counts as levels three and four. If you ate more junk food and you're like, oh my God, you're not alone. So you're in the majority. Don't worry about it. There was nothing else to do. What was there? Boredom, stress, and the fact that lots of veggie shops and stuff are closed

is what they're attributing it to. Those are great excuses. Yeah, I can't get my veggies. There's none at the supermarket. Exactly. All the supermarkets are open. All of them had vegetables. Even frozen vegetables. Oh, well, I tried. It's the equivalent of not going to the gym because there wasn't

a car park within like 10 metres of the door. You know, you try these things. So we consumed more sweet and salty snacks, white bread and pasta. Because everyone was making their own bread, right? Yeah. Processed meats and sugary drinks,

40% up on eating sweet things and 33% up on salty things. And those lockdowns. At home platters. You're using your processed meats, your salamis, your hams, everything on one of those. What?

You know, the. I always freak out when I'm saying it. What's a board? Yes, you have a charcuterie board. No. A charcuterie board. What is that? Have you heard of that?

It's a meat platter. No, you put it on a bit of wood, don't you? You put it on a. A charcuterie board. What is that? Have you heard of that? It's a meat platter. No, you put it on a bit of wood, don't you? You put it on a... Char... Charcuterie. There's a French term. I've never heard of that before. Executive intern Anya, how do you say that?

Charcuterie. Charcuterie. All three of us out here know what it is. Yeah, charcuterie. Oh my god, have you heard that before? I always panic. I see it and I panic. I ordered one recently and I was like, can I please have a... that? You ordered a charcuterie. I always panic. I see it and I panic. I ordered one recently and I was like, can I please have a that?

You ordered a charcuterie board? Yeah. What are these things? It's a meat platter. Yeah. It's a French term for a branch of cooking devoted to prepared meats. No, because it's not a grazing platter. It is a meat platter.

Yeah, it's cold meats. But it's like a chopping block. Yeah. Board. It's like a platter board. It's like a platter where you'd serve anything on. Wrong. A charcuterie.

How do you say it? Place all jams, preserves, mustards. It's a grazing table. It's like a grazing board. But it's meat. It's meat. Meats, cheese, pickles. Oh, yeah, but cheese is an in-the-meat family to me.

How do we feel about when people put chocolate pieces on these platters? I'm down for, I was a bit hum-ha about it. when you've had enough of the No, because it's

important to have all the flavours. It's like, I was kind of a bit hum-ha about pretzels because we've already got

crackers involved but it's, nah, it's good, man. You've got to get a variety. Yeah,

I just can't save the chocolate to a last and then I have it first and then I go back to a meat like a salami and it's weird.

There's no rules. It's not the 1990s. You're allowed to go in whatever order you want now. You can do what you want. Wild West. Yeah, so we ate lots of snacks. Because of the charcuterie boards. Because of the charcuterie boards.

They're hot. They're hot right now. We were eating fancy. I literally was like, do you know what? I'm going to have white bread sandwich today. That's big for me. That's Megan branching out. I'm going to make a platter. That's bread and white. And I'd just pour

half a box of those cheeseburger flavoured snacks, crackers on a plate and then I'd go slop with some relish and then I'd get just some ham and I'd be like, look at me go. You know, and I was heavy on those daiquiris. Everyone wanted my strawberry daiquiri recipe. I don't know how many of those

I had. I think this would be why the gym's so busy at the moment because summer's coming and everyone's like, oh, we ate a lot. Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. From the dusty ZM think tank, this is the top six.

Hello there. During my research for today's top six, I found some very interesting facts about cookie smells. Okay. Cookie smells. You know how they say if you want to sell your house, you bake some bread before people get there? Yep.

Yeah. There is another way to do it. To make it smell like you've been baking, you can... Oh, bloody you bastard. It's just refreshing. It's gone back to number one. It's one of those things that makes you click through 8,000 times. Oh.

Yeah, so they get their page hits up. Here we go. Infuse your home with a warm sugar cookie fragrance by baking two tablespoons of vanilla extract in a dish at 300 degrees for 20 minutes. You can also skip the container and just wipe the oven interior with vanilla extract, which is a great way of killing any unwanted odours, and then just crank the oven for a bit,

and it makes it smell like you've been baking biscuits. Yum. But does it bake vanilla essence onto your oven? Well, I guess it's a thin wipe. I don't know. They don't seem to be worried about that. And the fact that the smell of chocolate chip cookies, if you, I don't know if it's too late for you, you've sold your cafe,

but the smell of chocolate chip cookies makes people buy more coffee. Really? Yeah. Wow. And it actually makes them buy other food that's not even the biscuits. Sweet rolls and coffee, just general increase in sales. So we're talking about that because there is going to be a Tim Tam scented candle. Now this is probably not going to be available in stores. It seems like it's probably just one of those promotional scented candles.

Just to get bloody the media talking probably. Yeah, stupid media falling into these PR tracks. So you'll talk about delicious Tim Tam biscuits and then you won't be able to help yourself tonight when you're walking through the biscuit aisle at the supermarket. You'll be taken back to the radio this morning where they talked about delicious Tim Tam. Can you smell them?

Can you taste them? Do a Tim Tam slam. See how that works? Yeah. Now you're all gagging for a bicky. So anyway, there's a scented candle. The idea is it's a giveaway, and it's for, I believe, like Australians who are stuck overseas,

who can't come home for Christmas easily because of COVID-19. So you can win them the smell of Australia. Does all of Australia smell like a Tim Tam? Sure. I mean, it's got its place, but it'd be pretty gross if you were just walking down the street being like, you guys smell Tim Tams? So the top six other biscuits that need a scented candle, number six, the Anzac Bicky.

Oh, God. Hot golden syrup. Yeah, when the oven opens and it's that golden syrup smell and it wafts out. Reminds me of Nana's house. Number five on the list of the top six other biscuits that need to be seen in a candle. I've taken some liberties with what is exactly a biscuit here because I've included a cracker. Okay. The cheeseburger snacks crackers.

Because when you open, it's one of those ones where you open the bag, you also give it a... Just to give yourself a run of those. You can do that with lots of different snacks apart from burger rings. Yeah. We know. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you're either living a very innocent life. Yeah.

Or no one's told you what they smell like yet. Yeah. Ask around the work today. Or they say you love bitterings, but you just can't sniff them. Crack open one of those little bags if you're packing the kids' lunches and give it a sniff.

I mean, if you've got kids, you should know what they smell like. You've been there. Number four on the list of the top six other biscuits that need a scented candle are ginger nuts. I just put this on the list for you, Megan other biscuits that need a scented candle are ginger nuts. I just put this on the list for you, Megan, because I know you love a ginger nut. And it does actually, they do smell, they do have a pretty good sweet gingery smell when you open a pack.

Number three is another one that really wafts out of the oven when they're being made at home. The top six other biscuits that need a scented candle. Number three, Afghan biscuits. They always smelt pretty good. Are you including walnut on top? A little bit of nuttiness? No. You couldn't?

No, because the smell came from the baking. The chocolate had to be added once it was done right, because otherwise it would just slop everywhere. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six other biscuits that needed to scent a candle. We've actually got a bucket of them in studio. The apricot cookie time Christmas cookies.

The little ones. God was huffing that yesterday, wasn't he? I was going to say, you went through like half a bucket yesterday. I was like, you could sit there if you're watching Netflix and easily do a whole bucket. It's because the biscuits are so small. And you can have like three in your mouth at once. I love the moment when you put it down and you're like, shit, they're good. That's enough of that.

I've hoovered a lot. I'd draw it back away from Nate Buckeye. There was no judgment because, I mean, that could have been any of us. Yeah, we understand. And I love it when the little apricotty bits get in your teeth. Gives you a little bit of downtime between biscuits to look for 10x biscuit. And number one on the list of the top six other biscuits that need a scenting candle, dog biscuits.

Why should we have all the fun? Dogs have got very sensitive noses, so they could smell and enjoy the candle perhaps a lot more than we could enjoy our candles. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Megan in studio. It gets real loud at the end. Listen.

Megan has just ruined that song. No, but maybe you shouldn't tell everyone. No. Because it'll ruin it for them too. You've got to tell everybody what you just told us about this song. Because I'm not going to be able to hear that song again the same. Can you play the start of it? Through the whole song, right from the get-go,

there's no reprieve, is the sound of crickets. Cicadas or crickets? I think it's crickets. Starts. Now. Now. Now. Now.

Crickets. Oh my god. And it's all through the song from here on. Yeah, sorry. It was like the summer of 2011, 2012. There was a massive cricket problem in West Auckland because it was dry and the ground opened up and the crickets were living in the cracks. And we just slept all night just being like, God damn crickets.

But you can hear them like they're all the way through the song. Why? It's crazy. They're so there. Yeah. Have you Googled this? Is this a thing? It's well known.

Yep. It's well known. Oh, no. Vulture have written an article about. Whose idea was that? Vulture's written an article. They've written an article about Ariana Grande. Yeah.

And it said, positions is delightfully simple. All strings, tap, trap drums, and the barely audible sound of crickets chirping through the entire song. It's still there. Oh, no. Soz. But if it was punishing me, it has to punish you too. I'll tell you what, if you're going to tiptoe

into Ariana Grande's new album online, the other song's quite something too, 34 plus 35. We listened to that at the weekend. Luckily, the children weren't in the car. And I said, excuse me, she's saying what I believe she's saying. And then I did the maths and holy moly. Did you try and play this version without the cricket? No, I know there is that.

Is there a version without the cricket? Somebody's done one on YouTube. It says here, Ariana Grande positions. Here you go, I'll plug it in. In brackets, no cricket chirping. I'll plug it in. Why couldn't we have had that? Because there's still that tambourine.

Without that. We've had texts come in. Someone said, I thought it was my car squeaking, so thanks for the heads up. And someone else always thought it was something wrong with their car stereo. No. It's not.

Something wrong with Ariana Grande's producer. It's like when you hear a song and it sounds like a text tone or sirens and you think you're getting pulled over by the police. If I made a song, it would definitely have a distant siren sound in it. Yeah. It sounds like a text tone or sirens. And you think you're getting pulled over by the police. Yeah, if I made a song, it would definitely have a distant siren sound in it. Yeah. Just to freak people out when they're driving. They think they've done something wrong.

Totally. A bad day for a Whangarei trader yesterday. Yeah, he loves that song, but you've ruined it for him. And that's the story. That's the second bad day in a row because this Tom, who is a electrician in Whangarei, went up onto the roof of Domino's and while he was up there, someone stole his ladder. Oh.

Yeah. He didn't get it back either, did he? Nah, it's gone. It's still gone. It's still gone. Is he still up there? That's so cheesy. Did he have to spend the night on the roof of Domino's?

Well, no, because I don't know. I assume Domino's just brought out a stack of boxes and he threw himself onto it off the roof. Like a stunt person.

A lot of give in the Domino's box. Or they did a breaking bed and chucked the pizza on the roof for him. Ah, so he could eat. So he could eat it. I think it was

they did the breaking bed where he started dealing meth and making meth on the roof. I was like, I don't know how he got to that but he's an electrician. Maybe he's got the skills to wire it up.

But, yeah, he didn't get his ladder back. So just keep – if you've all of a sudden got a ladder, question where that ladder came from. Because they're not cheap. They're not cheap. No, but a good ladder. Yeah, a good tradie ladder. A good tradie aluminium ladder. And if he's a Sparky, it might have had some sort of insulation vibe to it too.

Do they have that? Do they have rubber legs or something? Or they're rubber ladders? The guys that do the power poles they have wooden ladders because wood doesn't

conduct electricity so they can't get like electrocuted if something goes wrong when they're on the ladder. Are they safe though? Wooden ladders? I don't trust

a wooden ladder. Why don't you trust a wooden ladder? I don't know what if it cracks and splinters. Wood ladders from the beginning of time or wooden Megan? I don't trust a wooden ladder. Why don't you trust a wooden ladder? I don't know what if it cracks. Wood ladders from the beginning of time or wooden, Megan? I know, but we've moved on to metal ones. What if it's got a splinter in it? Which conduct electricity and rust.

Yeah, okay, yeah. I mean, not the aluminium ones, but metal on a whole. What if you need it to slide up? What? They do that too. The wood ladder. I've got an old wooden ladder at home. And hearing it from my granddad, you pull this rope and it goes click, click, click, click.

Yeah, it sounds. Now that ladder's not to be trusted because it's about 85 years old. All right. Fletchbourne and Megan, the podcast. ZM. ZM FM. Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices. Hello there.

Welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look around New Zealand to see what's happening according to local Facebook pages. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, you can screen cap it and send it to ours, FEMZM, just pops into the inbox there. I'll say, ha ha ha, thanks for that, and save it off or something to that effect. You may hear it as part of Community Notices.

This is from the Otaki364 page. We were talking but we'd never heard from this page effect. Yeah. You may hear it as part of community notices. This is from the OTAKI 364 page. We've never heard from this page before. Yeah. We've heard again here from the OTK 364 page. Jamie writes, shout out to the local barbers. Okay. For making me look like Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber. Oh, no.

Who famously had a bowl cut, right? Yeah, a very straight bowl cut Jim Carrey's character From Dumb and Dumber Yeah Would not share a photo though All the people on the page Were like

Let's see it then And he's like Nah I'm actually considering Shaving my head To get out of this situation Is that haircut Like

In trend at the moment Yeah It is Doesn't the dude In the Benny video have it Oh I can't remember like, entrend at the moment. Yeah, it is. Doesn't the dude in the Benny video have it? Oh, I can't remember. Gus Dapper, Gus old Dick Dapper Gus. You sound really up with the play.

Dapper Gus, Dappercent. I've seen a few people. Yeah, same. I've seen a lot of people with the bowl. I mean, it's not a bowl cut. And it's also like. It's just a straight long fringe, isn't it? Old fashion.

Yeah. Not like mainstream. Looks good. You know, there's always that fashion. Someone's like, oh yeah, they are fashion, but you wouldn't wear anything they're wearing. Yeah. You know?

Because it's like all vinyl. And you're like, that seems highly impractical. It's going to be sweating up a storm in summer and now they've got the bowl cut. Yeah. Yeah, that seems highly impractical. It's going to be sweeping up a storm in summer, and now they've got the bowl cut. Yeah. Yeah, that sort of fashion. Next, from the Richmond Avonside Darlington Shirley Locals page, or RADS as it's known by its acronym,

Ant says, we've lost our pet magpie. Totally reliant on us, this pet magpie. Talks and is very, very friendly. Emmett, Bellbrook, or Briggs Road, please let us know if you find her. Her name is Pie. Magpie. There's been an update. We found our baby.

She'd fallen in the rubbish bin and then the lid had shut on top of her. Also, can you have a pet magpie? Yeah. Not just a magpie that's hanging around. They must have raised it. I've heard magpies, they can talk magpies. They're very smart birds.

Aren't they? They're a pest. They're a pain in the arse. Those ones that you see chasing people and bombing them. Yeah, this summer years when they're swooping, like springish, there's babies up in the tree in the magpie nest and they swoop the cyclists. And I'm like, ha, take that cyclist.

That'll teach you to just think the road rules don't apply to you. The magpie's like they swoop the cyclists and I'm like, ha, take that cyclist. That'll teach you to just think the road rules don't apply to you. The magpie's like, excuse me, I cycle. This is for that traffic light that you went through when it was red

just because you think rules don't count. You would go through red traffic lights if you didn't have a license plate too. No, I would not. Probably their call,

I would. There is also the way to being hit by a car. Yeah, but I'm in a car, you see. Yeah. You're on a bike. Yeah. You're not going to come off this.

You'd still do it. I wouldn't. He would. He would. Next, from the Upper Clutha Trading Post, Nikita writes, Any cool cats out there have leather studded cuffs, chokers, and or belts I could please borrow and look after very well for the weekend? Also, need a baseball bat. Whoa.

Costume? Harley Quinn. Yeah, Harley Quinn costume. That's what I thought. Megan's mind went somewhere else. She doesn't have a lot of cuffs and stuff. The baseball bat's Harley Quinn if we're thinking about costumes. Do you have a timing for that post?

Because, yeah, we've just had Halloween. It was after Halloween. Okay, so it's definitely a swing this weekend. Jesus. No holds barred swing this weekend. But then with the emoji

cry face, crazy face and then cute smile. Yeah. That's out of there. There's a lot. There's a fair bit to unpack there.

Next of all, community notices. This is the state of accommodation in Wellington. Vic Deals has said this is an ideal accommodation option

for uni students and pictured as a Harry Potter room under the stairs. Very intimate and comfy space. Shared house with a family of three.

We only want normal people, please. Previous tenant was a little bit of a weirdo. $170 a week. Wait, this is for real. It's not a joke.

Well, it looks for real. How much room is under the stairs? Not a lot. I think there's a single bed in there. It looks pretty Harry Potter-ish. And they're like, oh, the last tenant was a bit of a weirdo. It's like, well, you've got them sleeping in the dark under the stairs. Very normal sorts of people to sleep under the stairs.

People don't want to do that. And finally today in community notices from the Wigram Skies community page, Briar has stumbled across a very unusual situation. I'm going to see if I can zoom in here so you guys can see this a little bit better. But she asked, can someone explain this to me, please? This is on the corner of Rich Terrace and the runway. And what we see here is four paper plates. Yep.

We've got a cup of coffee here, untouched. Yep. We've got potatoes. I believe these are potatoes wrapped in tinfoil, untouched. A cake in the middle. And then a whole salmon fillet on one of the paper plates. What? It looks like someone had a picnic on a path, but...

Then left. Or was, like, sucked up into the sky. But also, you don't have a picnic in the middle of a concrete path. Yeah, and that's not picnic food either, is it? No, a whole fillet of salmon's not really a... That's weird. And also, like... Unless you're a seal.

Maybe it's like a surprise picnic, so they're getting there, but then it doesn't look... You're on their way. You can't leave unwrapped salmon unattended and hope it's going to be there when you get back and some bird has it. It's a whole cake.

Mould it. Yeah, the cake's very puzzling. I don't know. I need to know what's happening there. If anyone can explain that, let us know. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page,

screen cap it and send it to ours, FVMZM on Facebook. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Okay, here's a query. Here's a situation I'll put to you, and you can tell me what you think was happening. Yesterday when I was leaving the gym, you have to go down some stairs, and it was kind of like I came around the corner

and somebody else was there, and it was that weird moment of, is there enough room for both of us here? Oh, it down some stairs. And it was kind of like I came around the corner and somebody else was there and it was that weird moment of is there enough room for both of us here? Oh, it's narrow stairs. Narrow stairs. Narrow stairs, okay. And because both of us had a bag, I grabbed my bag and kind of like pushed it against the wall and stood close. Fella going the other way gets up the stairs.

The guy going the other way was in like golf gear. He was in like golf attire. Not the shoes. The shoes were standard shoes. Yeah. But he was in golf. And I'm not making this up. Just being like, were you assuming it was all golf?

It had ping written on it. Which is a golf brand. He had a polo shirt. Yep. With ping written on it and a hat with ping written on it. Okay. And he was off to the gym. Because he had a bag.

Because I thought, was he just popping in to be like, oh, honey, you forgot the keys. Or can I grab the keys? Yeah. I just got back from my golf. But he had a bag, like a golf bag. No, no. That would have sealed the deal.

If it had a few woods and an iron and a putter in there. But no, just like a gym bag. But he was in like golf gear. What were his pants? Why was he golf gear. What were his pants? Why was he doing that? What were his pants? Short, like golf shorts. Like not shorts.

And normal running shoes. Running shorts. Okay. Well, what's weird about that? Why was he wearing golf gear? Well, those polo shirts are not breathable. No. It's not a very good gym.

I've even wondered why golfers wear them. Why golfers are so attached to the polo. But why he's weird about this, he's probably just going to the gym before golf or are so attached to the polo. But why are you weird about this? He's probably just going to the gym before golf or he's going to the gym after golf.

You wouldn't want to get sweaty and then go to golf. You wouldn't want to hit the ground sweaty. I don't know what the big problem is here. Why was he wearing

golf gear? Are you not allowed you're only you're saying that when you go to the gym you're not allowed to wear golf gear. Come on.

This would have weirded you out if you'd seen it. No I don't know if it would have. Playing devil's advocate over there. But then what? Yeah, I'm confused because is he going to do weights or whatever?

Because you don't wear a polo if you're going to do weights. And the shorts, they're not the short you can run in because, you know, golf shorts are a weird length. Yeah, right. They're not three-quarter pants. But they're like a... He was just in golf gear. Does he do like a swift walk on the treadmill?

Well, the only thing I was thinking is, does he wear the golf gear and he only does weights on the machines that would be replicant of a golf swing? Oh, maybe. He might hold that thing on the string, the weights that are on the cable, and then he might go back and then pull through to like, I don't know, to just strengthen

the swing or something. And then he's wearing the golfing attire to make it obvious what he's doing. Yeah, because then if he only went there and he was only there for like 25 minutes and all he did was that one thing, people would be like, that was weird. But he's in golf gear, so that explains why he's doing that. I spent my whole drive

homing like, why are you in golf gear? I gave him a little backstory. explains why he's doing that. I spent my whole drive home being like, I game golf? I gave him a little backstory. Why does it matter? Why does it matter? I gave him a little backstory. So what was his backstory? Someone told him he could probably knock two or three off a round

if he had a bit more power in his swing through. Okay, right. And he really was like, oh, okay, I'll take that. I'm bored. But it like burrowed into his mind. Right. So he joined your gym. Well, he might have already gone I'm bored. But it like burrowed into his mind. Right. So he joined your gym. Well, he might have already gone to the gym.

Right. He may have been a passive member. Okay, right. Okay, but you don't go because it makes you just feel better for having the sticker on the back of your car. Yeah. But there's footage at the gym. I should ask them if he just went in and just did 25 minutes.

Go in and ask for footage of another person. Hey. Hey, is that guy in all the ping gear? I need to go. The guy that came in the ping gear. And I grabbed all the footage of his time here. Yeah. When I swiped out.

That's weird. On this day, around about this time, let's pull up that security footage. And follow his movements. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then imagine I see him on the machine running. I'd be like, your nipples are toast, buddy.

Because you're in a polo. You're in a polo shirt. That's not a nipple-friendly material. No, it's not. But he definitely didn't have gym gear in his bag that he was going to change into. You've got a good point. Oh, what?

He had a bag. I assumed because his gear had a leisurely tone to it that he was pre-dressed. And then I assumed in the bag was what he was going to get changed into after, which was more of a professional wear. Right. Maybe he works. But imagine going to the gym in one sort of leisure gear

to only get changed into a more leisurely sort of leisure gear. Why were you just going to leisure gear? Yeah, you're already in leisure gear. Yeah. But then again, the nipples. It might have been too rough for the nipples. Oh, my God. You're in your work uniform and you don't gym in that.

No, I don't. No, this is a very leisurely bit. Your T-shirt and your... But then there's jean shorts. But I've seen a guy there in jeans and a puffer vest. Oh, really? It was like he was just out for a coffee. He's like, walked past the gym and he's like,

I should pop in. No prep. Again, I don't know what was under his puffer vest either, but it could have been absolute nipple murder under there. It's a real roll of the dice when it's school photos. Did you, oh, you were pretty unfortunate looking, so your mum would never have ordered the individual ones, I assume.

We did get them but yeah, horrible. I don't know. Oh no, we did because I had that horrible one at home that you took a photo of. I don't think my mum paid for them. Because you could pay

for the options where you got the full class photo and then an individual. Yeah. Is that what you just got? Yeah, if Bob Barker had time. No, what was his name? Yeah, Bob Barker was the guy that travelled around New Zealand doing school photos, eh?

Was that backdrop? Squeaky, squeaky? Hey, do you kids like ducks? Squeaky, squeaky? Dude, we're in intermediate now. We're too cool for ducks, alright? They might have worked last year. That's terrifying. Is that what they did in the old days? Hey, smile! Squeaky, squeaky?

Oh my God. I think I've got one of those individual photos and I'm in a pretty hipster brown cardi. Oh, yeah. And a checkered shirt. Was that kindy or primary? Primary. Oh, dang it.

Yeah, hipster before my time. I lost my cardi, so I wouldn't have had a photo of that. I would have just been given a hand-me-down to wear after I lost my initial cardi. But nowadays, you get to see them before you order them. Oh okay. Because there's a digital, but they send it home and it's really shit quality and it's got sample

written across it so you can't just like cut that out, scan it, jizz it up. Those are like my marathon, my half marathon photos. It's got the bloody sample watermark on it. The watermark on it. The sport photos or whatever. I'm like, that's so rude. Did you not buy a proper one?

Of course I'm not going to pay for a photo of me. Doing a great achievement. Yeah. That's the thing. You get to see them now. Yeah. So you can be like, well, actually, no, you look terrible in that little Susie. I'm not paying an exorbitant amount of cash for the whole point.

But then if they look cute, you're like, well, that's my little angel. That's getting given to all the grandparents. Yep. Well, one mother has got her little approval sample photo there of her daughter on photo day at school. And little Emma on the day of photos, for some reason, her mother thought, I wouldn't even buy this T-shirt for my kids. It says sasshole.

Because sasshole is just like calling your kid a sassy little arsehole, really, isn't it? Yeah, but if they're sassy, that's kind of cute, right? It's cute not on photo day forever, it's not. You need a T-shirt that says sasshole. I would love a T-shirt that says sasshole. Like you are a sasshole. I love that you're the definition of a sasshole. So little Emma's sitting there and you know how they're always like, okay, so sit there

and smile and like put your hands on your knees and the kids like lean forward. Well, the t-shirt crumpled and the first ass disappears and it just straight up says asshole. So wow. But even like she's like, I'm not a bad mother.

Her T-shirt says sasshole. I don't want to cast aspersions. I'm not there yet. It's got to be me. Yeah. But she just took a photo of the sample. But, I mean, God, you've got to buy that one, don't you? Yeah.

Oh, 100%. 100%. You'll get that one for nothing. But I was wondering if anybody listening ever had clothing that may have been sort of like inappropriate, like may have had sasshole written on it. Yeah.

Because my thoughts are you wouldn't put a kid in that. Or your parents bought you a t-shirt in Thailand and it was highly inappropriate or you didn't know what it meant. I remember on Mufti Day my friend turned up and he had,

he was relatively new to school and he had a white t-shirt on and it was a parody of Guns and Roses and it said Bums and Roses and it was a bum with a rose in the middle

and we were like, you can't wear that to Mufti Day. It's got a big mouth but third form. Like, it was like year nine, 13, 14. Wow. You can't wear that and the teachers were like, third form. Like, so year nine, 13, 14.

Wow. You can't wear that. And the teachers were like, you're going to have to cover that up. We'll just, like, get something out of the lost property. You can't be walking around with a woman's ass on your shirt all day. Wow. I don't know. Parents bought it for me.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So a mum has gone viral in the US. She sent her kid to school on photo day with the T-shirt Sasshole, but the S got covered. Yeah, the first S. It got crinkled in the shot, so it just said Asshole. Yeah. So we want to know now, looking back,

what was the inappropriate item of clothing that you had as a kid? Somebody said this was at the other end of the age spectrum. My Nana bought a T-shirt because she's a proud gardener that lives on Waiheke Island. Oh, okay. And she bought a T-shirt that said, plants on Waiheke grow this high. And it was a picture of a man in his marijuana plant

and he was holding his hand up to show how high it was. She had no idea. She just thought it was a great way of reflecting her love for growing large plants on Waiheke Island. Annie, what was the inappropriate item of clothing you had as a kid? So I was about nine and my auntie bought me this t-shirt

that kind of looked like a New Zealand touristy t-shirt. It had all these sheep all over the front. And it had one sheep kind of jumping up above the flock and it said, where in the flock are we? So see, like funny for a dad to take home or give to his mate who's visiting from overseas,

but is it appropriate for children to be flaunting their F1? Yeah, totally not. My auntie had no idea until her son pointed out that it was completely inappropriate. Brilliant. Annie, thanks for your call. Another text message. My old lady bought me a 50 cent Hawaiian shirt from the op shop when I was about five.

Okay. What wasn't spotted until I wore it to school was the Hawaiian pattern was made up of animated fruit having sex in different positions. What's that doing coming in the size for a five-year-old though? Yeah. There's so much of this clothes. You're like, why is that made in any size other than like XXL male bear gut? Because they're the ones that would wear it and would love it and be like, you see what my shirt's got on it, Kevin?

It's a banana doing an avocado. You bloody love that, wouldn't you? Yeah, you perv. Talking about the inappropriate T-shirts and items of clothing that you had as a kid. People's, like, naivety is, like, I love it. I love when you see a naive auntie not getting a drug reference or a sex reference or anything. It's just super cute. Someone said, my uncle knew I was a massive fan of Garfield.

Oh, yeah. So he saw a T-shirt in a market when he was overseas and it just had the head of od you know the dog that garfield's always like booting off the bench yeah um he bought it for me never unfolded it um when he got home he's like i got you a garfield t-shirt i unwrapped it and it had a picture of um the dog lying on his stomach butt in the air with a syringe in his butt cheek and pills in his mouth captioned i are I OD'd. Because of OD. Oh my God, I'm not a pro. Is that appropriate for your age? No.

Olivia, what was the inappropriate item of clothing as a kid? So when I was about seven or eight, I inherited a t-shirt from one of my teenage cousins that said, spooning leads to forking on the front. Oh. Yeah.

I wore it to school a few times before she actually saw me in it and quickly took it back. And my mum had no idea what it meant. So your mum was naive to the connotation there? Absolutely no idea what it meant. Not at all. I just liked the cute little spoon and fork on the front. I reckon as a teacher you'd see this stuff all the time.

Thanks, you cool, Olivia. Christy, what was the inappropriate item of reckon as a teacher you'd see this stuff all the time. Thanks you, cool Olivia. Christy, what was the inappropriate item of clothing as a kid? Oh yeah, I remember going

into a music shop in Whanganui as a kid. I don't know how old I was. I think I was about, I was under 10 anyway. And the really nice guy

behind the counter gave me this little green badge. It was the 80s after all. We collected badges. And it had this little leprechaun doing the Phil BD and it said, get lucky underneath it. And I had no idea what it meant, but I thought it was so cool, this little leprechaun saying, get lucky.

I want to be lucky. Yeah, totally. Leprechauns are lucky, right? Yeah. Wow. And then when did it finally dawn on you that that was probably inappropriate? Relatively, like, recently. Like, in my 20s, I guess. I thought, hey, that was super inappropriate. Why was I wearing a badge? They get lucky.

Brilliant. Christy, thanks for your call. Jenna, what was the inappropriate item of clothing? Hey, guys. I had a t-shirt when I was about 14 and it had a really cute picture of a little girl holding like a skirt and a little boy and

I can't remember the exact slogan but it said something like, Sally wants to show you her new piercing. Jeez. And did no one, did mum pick up on that or anyone? No, me and mum brought it together. We thought it was hilarious.

Straight out of the end of school. Looking back now, you're like, that probably wasn't great. Yeah. I wore a school uniform, so like on nasty days, but I would wear it to like dance class and stuff and we'd all have a laugh thinking we were so funny. Brilliant. Jenna, thanks.

Some text messages to finish up. My nana bought me, my brother back a t-shirt from the UK that says, can I tickle your fancy? No idea. She had no idea behind the connotation

behind that one. Someone said, I got married. My mother-in-law bought me a t-shirt with a topiary, like, you know, like a shaped plant. Like a tree with a with a topiary, like, you know, like a shaped plant.

Like a tree with a perfectly round top on it. And it said, the perfect bush. Keep it trimmed and tidy. Because their last name was Bush and I'd married into the family. She's like,

look, it's got our family name on it. She was saying she's the perfect bush. Yeah, because she keeps all that sweet. It's about pubes, isn't it? Mother-in-law apparently had absolutely no idea.

Our teacher, we had a teacher at school. Somebody said the first lesbian teacher I ever had. And she got called by the principal for wearing a T-shirt that said, I bowled and made it over. At an all-girls school. I was asked not to wear that one again. Oh, really? Avoid it, please.

That'd be really great. Somebody said I had a French Connection United Kingdom t-shirt. Oh, yeah. The teacher made me get out of the shirt and get one from Lost Property and Change. Wouldn't let me explain that it was a brand, but that was the idea of that brand, right? They knew what they were doing. Yeah, they knew what they were doing. It was like that German zoo that named that polar bear.

Remember that polar bear in Germany that was about K-N-U-T? They knew it. Those crafty Germans. They knew all right they were up to. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We were just talking about the ad that says that and how the lady who's the COVID voice, the voiceover lady, has had so much work this year. She's been the voice of it.

She's the voice of COVID. It's the bing bong COVID announcement. This is a COVID-19 announcement. I don't want to trigger anyone. This is a COVID-19 announcement. That lady. Yeah, that lady.

It's a lovely voice. It's a lovely voice. It gives you shivers but then she comes in and makes you feel better. And it's like, masks are mandatory or this is this

and it's like a little short bullet. It's great, great work. Yeah. Good year for voiceover work for the COVID. I mean, terrible that it had to happen, but. I want to know who that lady is because I don't, because we work in radio and when you hear ads, you always are, oh, that's that guy that does all the ads

or that's that lady. Yeah. You always know the people, but I don't, I don't recognise who that is. I've been Googling. You need to ask the prime minister. Well, she wouldn't have, I don't recognise who that is. I've been googling. You need to ask the Prime Minister. Well she wouldn't have

I don't even think she'd know. You always ask her stupid questions on Instagram. Yeah but I've asked my one stupid question for the week

so I don't know. What was it your last stupid I've asked a few. Well surely she'd know who the voice is. Just ask her hey do you know

who the voice is because she'd probably send her a hamper. She'd probably send her a Prime Ministerial hamper. I don't think the prime minister just sends out hampers willy-nilly. The lady's getting paid. The COVID-19 announcement lady's getting paid.

This is well out of her jurisdiction. She's got people to deal with that. The kind of thing she'd do, she'd send a hamper to the lady with the calming voice who's been there for us this year. It is a calming voice. It's a calming voice. I thought you were going to play it again. Yeah, well. You were like. It is a calming voice. It's a calming voice. I think you're going to play it again. Yeah, well.

You were like. This is a COVID-19. See, it's calming. Yeah, it's calming. Can you please just ask her? I googled COVID-19 announcement voice New Zealand female voice. Have you found out who it is? So, yes, I think so.

Okay. I've got even, I'm on the page now. Just going blind into this, so I don't know. I mean, this is going to have swearing in it. What page? This is her voice. This is the voiceover. Her name is Vanessa.

Yep. And she has a reel on her website. Oh, like all the voiceovers that she's done. Like a demo. Ads that she's read. August is the month to get organised to ensure your new bathroom. See, that's her with energy because she's selling a bathroom. Is there an ad where she's being reassuring?

That sounds like her, doesn't it? That's the hard sell voice, though. Yeah. The softer voice. And I don't know why this would have come up in the results otherwise. Yeah, dude, that sounds like she's pulled it back. That's what makes her good.

She's not trying to sell a spa pool or something there, is she? She's trying to save our lives. Yes. Calm everyone down. She's trying to sell safety. We've got her email there.

Let's get her on the show. I'm going to do you one better. I think her number's here to get in contact with her. Which is true. Let's get her. Anna. I'll send this through to you.

We're just going to cold call the baby. We've got the baby chase next. We can push that because this is important. We're just going to cold call who we think is the COVID lady. Yeah. Do you think? It says there she does the Auckland Airport voiceovers. She goes, bing bong, your flight's late.

Well, that's fair enough because she lost that work. I guess so. So that makes sense though, right? Yeah. I feel like I'm out of my ear. Yeah. And they're like, well, we've got this other thing happening. Oh, this could be a world exclusive.

God, we love tracking people down. We still haven't found out that mystery businessman that was a shuttle lift with in the QT. Oh, I have not given up on that chase, my friend. People have been sending in suggestions about that. I know what Bob Parker looks like. We've had some text messages. We just decided we're going to track down who does

the COVID voicing. We want to talk to this lady. This is a COVID-19 announcement. Because we've heard she's been with us this whole year. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody messaged us that Stacey Morrison. No, we're all mates with Stacey.

It's not Stacey. Stacey did do some. Yeah, she did. There was a period she did a few, but she's not the original voice. And that's not her. No, that's not Stacey. That's not her. Now you did some Googling. You're refusing to ask the Prime Minister. At this stage, yeah. Keep that ace not Stacey. That's not her. Now, you did some Googling. You're refusing to ask the Prime Minister.

At this stage, yeah. Keep that ace in the hole, as they say. Right. You've done some Googling, and you believe you've found, you Googled the keywords COVID, voiceover. The artist, New Zealand female, and I believe, joining us on the phone, the voice of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Yeah. Vanessa, good morning. Good morning. How are you19 pandemic. Yeah. Vanessa, good morning. Good morning. How are you? Good. I don't sound at all like the COVID lady right now because I had quite a late night last night at the New Zealand Television Awards.

Oh, I was going to say, were you at the New Zealand Television Awards last night? Yes. Okay. I had too many champagnes and quite a late night. But I also, the lovely Anna just called me before, but I hate to break your heart, but I'm not the COVID lady either.

Oh, no, Vanessa. No, but you sound like her now. Oh, my goodness. I would love that gig. Oh, and isn't she lovely? Is this like the pinnacle of voiceover work this year? Oh, it would have been just absolutely wonderful. And she's so reassuring.

You know, I really love listening to her. When you find her, I'm a bit of a fangirl. I think she's doing an amazing job. I know, we're all fangirls. Could you give us... Yeah, try and do a voiceover of it for us so we know that it's not you. Like, just say, this is a...

I'll bring in the little ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling thing at the start. Is that what you call it in the industry? Yeah, a ding-a-ling-a-ling. A ding-a-ling-a-ling. And thenling thing at the start. Is that what you call it in the industry? Yeah. A ding-a-ling-a-ling. And then you come in, this is a COVID-19 announcement. Okay, here we go. Let's have a try of this.

This is a COVID-19 announcement. Yeah. See, that sounds... It's far too deep and sounds like champagne. But I wasn't smoking. Although, when you said that, I'm like, you sound very familiar to me. Yeah, because you've done a lot of voicing, haven't you, that we'd all be aware of.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you go into Countdown and you do the self-scan, I'm the woman that tells you to remove the icon from your life. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Vanessa. Please do it, Vanessa. Please do it. Well, I'm not going to sound like that now either.

God, I can't even remember. I recorded it a couple of years ago. It was such a long time ago. Please remove the last item from the bagging area. Oh, my God. I'm triggered. Yeah, there's an unexpected item in the bagging area. Vanessa, how many times have you had an unexpected item in the bagging area

and it's just awkward and weird? Well, I don't normally talk about those on the radio, but I have had an awful lot of friends phone me when they've actually stuck in the checkout and just go, for God's sake, Vanessa, would you just shut up? And do you do the Wellington, because on your bio you do the Wellington train announcements. Wellington Rail, yeah, that's just come out this year, I think.

And then the Auckland International Airport, but of course nobody's hearing that anymore. Yeah. What kind of things were going over the Auckland International Airport that you were listening? And only in the international, but all of the airlines have their own pre-recorded sentences and they send it through.

It's all done through a particular company that does these kinds of large transports. Wow. As one of the pre-recorded messages, as one of the messages, Vaughan Smith, you're late for your flight. Yes, yes it is. Do you do that?

Yeah, it gets played a lot. Don't leave baggage unattended? Was that one of yours? Yeah, it is, but only in international. So yeah, and then all of the, like, Air New Zealand, please go to the gates and, you know, your plane's about to depart. I'm like, seriously, your plane is really taking off,

so get there now. The unloading procedure has begun. Everywhere you go in life, the supermarket and the airport, and you just hear yourself on the train everywhere. Yeah. Well, it's kind of, it's not so bad in, because I'm based in Christchurch normally. Right.

Yeah, so it's not so bad in Christchurch, but when I'm in Auckland, I go into one of those big countdowns. It's like an out-of-body kind of existential moment because just your voice is going, you know, lots of different sentences

all around you and, yeah. Wow. And it freaks my kids out. Yeah. Well, so Vanessa, you don't have any idea who the COVID voice lady is? No, I don't, but I'd love to

meet her because I think she's doing an amazing job. So yeah. Well, she's an idol in the industry, in the voicing industry. She's an absolute idol. Yes, she really is. Well, Vanessa, thank you so much for your time this morning. Thank you for being the voice of the bagging area.

And I guess our search continues for the COVID voice. Thank you, Vanessa. The self-service check-in has a face and a name, so we can't be like... No, we'll all just be like... Shut up, Vanessa! Give me a break, Vanessa! Any further text messages as to who the COVID voice could be?

Somebody thinks it might be Cora Forrester. She's an actress. She's on the Educators in Shortland Street. It might be her. Perhaps it could be. Oh, yeah, okay. Isn't that crazy that no one knows? It's like a mystery.

What do you think it's New Zealand? Like, everyone would be like, oh, that's, you know, Phyllis. Oh, mate, down the road. Phyllis. That's Phyllis doing the COVID voice, down the road. Phyllis. That's Phyllis doing the COVID voice. Oh, great. Phyllis. I just needed a name that wasn't popular.

I don't know. Somebody wants us to try to find the Bluetooth lady as well. Who's the Bluetooth lady? Oh, you know, sometimes you get a Japanese car, and it's like Bluetooth is connecting, but it's obviously in the accent. Yeah, so it can be quite annoying when you hear it over and over and over again. Because every time you get in the car and start the car, some import cars go, Bluetooth, connecting now or whatever.

It might even be in, yeah. So, okay, wait, guess the search continues. Vaughan, message the Prime Minister. Instagram, please. That takes the fun out of the investigation. I message her all the time with stupid stuff. I just need to give it a little bit of a break. You're dancing on a block from her.

Where's she going to deport me to? I have nowhere else to go. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Thank you. More text messages coming in as to who the COVID voiceover lady is. More nominations for Stacey Morrison. It's not Stace.

It's not her. She did something, but it's... Gosh, yeah. Now, she had all the election stuff in the lead up to the election. Leave it with us. We'll get to the bottom of this. We need an interview. Someone said Laura Daniels from Seven Sharp, but I think her...

This sounds weird, but her voice sits in a different part of her mouth. That's weird. Do you know what I mean? No. Because my voice sits quite forward and so that's why I sound a little

a little azzly but that's why you know there's some people and you can hear it their voice sits in their chest or down more in their throat

and they have that. Why don't you do that? Yeah you should put your voice there. Says you. Righty-o. But it would mean my posture would have to be better Why don't you do that? Yeah, you should put your voice there. Since you. Right, yeah. But it would mean my posture would have to be better and my pacing would change.

And now you sound weird. And now I sound like I'm putting it on. Blitz Vaughn and Megan's Baby Chase. Welcome to the Baby Chase. That's where it sits normally. I pull it back a little bit to here. So see, it could be worse. Yeah.

So the baby chase is a segment of the show where we pitch mother to be a currently growing baby. Megan Papadopoulos up against a person who does not like babies. Can't see the point, I think he said. I know. I said that yesterday because you're just like oh, it looks so uncomfortable. Just like why are you doing this? And then I think

you said they leech off you for 18 years. Yep. It's even more now. They're staying at home until they're 30. Are you prepared for this? No. He's absolutely getting the boot. And then when they reach their 20s, they're going to have sleepovers at Fletcher's house. You are going to get my coffee jar in the head.

You are such a... It's not slander if it's true. I'll see you in a court of law. So it's still up for defamation. I want to see it. You know, they can take your phone as proof in a court of law. They can look at your digital records. You are just out of control, Smith.

So I ask you five questions, and it's whoever gets most out of control, Smith. So I ask you five questions and it's whoever gets most out of the five right buzz in with your baby cry. Your baby cry when you think you know this question. What's your baby cry? Because I don't want them to be different. That's mine. That's what

you're going to have to deal with for 30 years. She already deals with it. That's what we sound like when there's a problem. Yeah. All right, question one. As a percentage, what size are a baby's eyes compared to an adult? Wham. Yes, Fletch.

50. Okay. Not bang on. Megan, can you get closer? Smaller. Well, don't give her... You gave her a very big clue there. 75.

Megan's closer. The answer is 70%. That's why babies look so cute because their eyes are big. Do they look cute? You hope they do. Fingers crossed. Well, you think they do

and everyone else is like, no, yeah, there it is. You'll be able to tell on the tone of people's voice. Yeah. No, you'll be too tired to work it out. Yeah, my baby's ugly. And Andrew's like, it's mine too and I don't. No, you're very tired.

Second question. How much does a Phillip Avent Comfort Double Electric Breast Pump retail for? This is like a milking machine, like a cow milking machine. Oh, this is a fear. That's not the brand I've got. And that little thing goes suck, suck, suck, suck.

Yeah, that's the sound. $400. Not bang on. So, Megan, if you can get closer. $280. Fletch takes this one. It's $600. What?

More comfort, more milk, naturally. When you're comfortable and relaxed, your milk flies more easily. That's like so many two-litre blue tops. Yeah, but baby's going to drink two-litre blue tops. Good to know now. Good that you found that out. That should have been one of the questions.

Yeah. Can I bring one in and try and milk you? Do you think it would make my breasts go bigger? Like, because it would suck them, right? I don't... It's not... But penis pumps don't work. You know that, eh?

Because you're comparing it to what you heard about penis pumps, but you know those don't work. Yeah. I'm afraid you're stuck with it what you heard about penis ones, but you know those don't work. Yeah. I'm afraid you're stuck with it, mate. All right, question three, one apiece. For an 8kg baby, how many mils of 250 micrograms to 5ml Pamela should be given every four hours? Half a bottle.

I don't even understand the question. How many mils per what? So you've got to weigh your baby. Yeah. And then give it the right amount of medication. And then Pamela comes in like a stronger one for when kids get a little bit older. One to two. A weaker one.

So 250 micrograms per five mils. That's too hard. Pamela, every four hours. What's that really nice cough syrup that I like? Is it Robitussin? Robitussin. See, I reckon they should do an RTD Robitussin. I've said this for years.

It would be an absolute winner. Pam-O's yum because it tastes like orange. Yeah, a Pam-O RTD. Or raspberry. Or a Pam-O. A raspberry one. A Powell. Powell's.

Robitussin Powell's. Seriously? They've just branched into Australia. Take that for free, Powell's. They'd have to check. Robitussin Pals. Seriously? They've just branched into Australia. Take that for free, pals. They'd have to check with Robitussin. I don't think you can just be giving away Robitussin's brand to be attached to alcohol. Okay, so half a bottle. Was I right?

No. Half a bottle. What's the question? How much? How many mils can be given every four hours? Four. You're way closer. Two and a half mils, so half a teaspoon. Okay. Four. You're way closer. Two and a half mil,

so half a teaspoon. Okay. Okay, half a teaspoon. But round up, because you want it to get better. What? Never round up. Get better.

I'm like, pass out. This isn't like swigging from your Robitussin and being like, I think that was a 10 mil swig. Very specific. You even get little syringes. You're doing a great job of never babysitting, Lorenz.

I know, good. This is what I'm aiming for. True or false? Babies born in January are the heaviest, usually about 200 grams heavier than any other month. True, because of Christmas. Because you eat way more over Christmas. Yeah, and they put on that last bit of fat.

And the ham and stuff goes into the baby. Okay. Oh, well, I'm going to go false then. Because if I'm early, it's going to be a Jan baby. You get the points. Babies born in May are generally the heaviest. Oh. I was June.

That's close to you, yeah. That's why I'm a bit punchy. Maybe. Yeah, you blame that. What body part are babies born without but develop it at around six months? Ugh. Wah. Fletch. Left arm. Left arm's come with.

Okay, come with. Is it something in their mouth? Nope. Oh, I don't know. It's kneecaps. What? No kneecaps. Your baby's not going to have kneecaps for ages.

You didn't have kneecaps for ages? Oh, yeah. You didn't have kneecaps for ages? Oh yeah You were a baby You didn't have kneecaps for ages? You were a baby once This is I didn't know that That's a really interesting

Yeah Question This is so hard That's another thing That your coffee group Can compete against each other In a passive manner Does your baby have kneecaps yet?

Little Stevie's got his kneecaps early I don't It's no big deal If your baby doesn't have kneecaps yet That baby's a loser without kneecaps. Today's fact of the day is no one knew what a horse galloping looked like before there was photography. Have you ever seen an old drawing of a horse? Yeah.

And they're always, like, if they're being shown in, like, full gallop, they're running like a greyhound. You know how a greyhound goes? Two legs out at once and they, like, push themselves forward and they reach to grab the ground and then push it. And their back legs like do the same. So they do it at the same time. So they always

they drew horses like this with all four legs off the ground at the same time. Like they were flying. Like they were a flying horse. Like they were outstretched. Every leg was stretched in the direction it went to its full extent and it was like a hovering horse. Well, one man, he wanted to know how horses galloped

because it was always just guesswork, and he's like, it just doesn't quite look right. And people were like, well, it changes from when they're trotting. It changes when they start galloping. Like after the, does it go walk? Remember we talked about those Icelandic horses that got an extra way of walking? Yeah.

We should have done a flip book. One of those flip book drawings. But they didn't know how, what parts to draw because they didn't, well, their legs were going so fast that they're just like, no, can't work it out. Right. Slow down, slow down. But then they'd slow down and it would go to like a canter.

Now they could work out a canter, but they couldn't work out a gallop. Right. So in 1872, a guy called Leland Stanford, he started Stanford University. Oh, yeah. He hired an English photographer, Mewbridge, to photograph a horse. But back in the day, if you wanted to photograph... It was a long exposure, wasn't it?

Exactly, a long exposure because literally the first cameras were they just took a front off, one, two, three, four, and put it back over and it was that light exposure and the reflection, it captured whatever was in front of it. So portraits, people had to, so if you moved, your face would blur. So they had to work out how to do

it. So, well, it kind of got waylaid a little bit because Mewbridge, the guy that was going to do this, he had to put the experience on hold for two years because he went on trial for the murder of his wife's lover. Oh, and how did that turn out? Yeah, well, he went to plain insanity, Megan,

but the jury dismissed it, but then they acquitted him on the grounds of justifiable homicide. Justifiable? Because he caught them in the act. Oh my God, justifiable homicide. So after. Because he caught them in the act. Oh my god. Justifiable homicide. So after he was like, it was just a long holiday. Thanks for asking. No, nothing happened.

Two years off. He got back to it. Right. And how he did it was he set up a series of cameras all right next to each other and put trip wires across and the trip wire would trigger the like now we push a button and the tripwire would trigger the, like now we push a button, but the tripwire would trigger that,

and he lit the area insanely and had a horse run in front of a white wall with markings on it. Right. So then afterwards they could line up those markings, and like you said, make a flip book. Huh. To how it looked when a horse would run. So then they had to get this horse to get galloping

and run in front of the series of cameras, each time tripping wire that would take a photo. And because of the insanely quick, insanely bright light, apparently the trip wire would make the sheet drop and expose it and another sheet would follow and shut it. So it wouldn't overexpose the photo. It took a little while to get it perfect, but then he did it. And I've got a photo here of the original 12 photographs of horse in motion.

And that's how they could work out what a horse looks like at the various different stages of galloping. But couldn't you just watch it run and be like, oh, yeah, it's leaps? Apparently not. How stupid were people in the 1800s, eh? Stupid. Come on. Just get the paintbrush out and try and just keep going. Keep going until it looks right.

Yeah. But people have been trying for ages and they've just never got it right. Stupid 1800s people. Well, actually, these guys are pretty smart back there. He invented a lot of things to get this to work. And he had time to murder his wife's lover. How do you squeeze all that into a 24-hour day? This guy needs to write a book.

How to Revolutionise Horse Paintings, Photography and Getting Away with Murder by Mewbridge. So today's fact of the day is before photography, no one could really draw a horse galloping. Fact of the day,

day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Now, I want to ask, Megan, do you really know what's not happening or have you been acting? No, I don't know. I do know what's happening. Fantastic good acting good acting you always really surprised me with your acting because i tried to know what's going on then i started laughing yeah i'm not

it's to be totally honest it's not a roasting of you it is a new segment on the show it only works if you don't know what we're going to talk about. And for its maiden voyage. You're the test dummy. You're the test dummy. One, right, okay. Yeah. Okay. I still don't like what's about to happen. There's an article called Small But Mighty,

Eat, Drink and Be Merry in Taranaki, and it's by Megan Wood. And she really sells the restaurant scene in your hometown and region. It looks fantastic. You're really selling me some high-end restaurants. There's a char-char-char-charay board. A callback earlier in the show. Char-char-char-charay board.

So this is a new segment on the show called The Filibuster where for two minutes you have to fill airtime with telling us about a specific topic and the topic today is places that you have eaten that you can recommend to others in New Plymouth. In New Plymouth? But I don't live there. I'm from there.

You're from there. The filibuster. The filibuster. Two minutes. The filibuster. There minutes. The filibuster. There's even a little thing to go in the background. I went to McDonald's in Centre City once and also the

Chinese smorgasbord in there was pretty good. They serve you. I believe they serve you so you can't load the plate. That was a while ago. Also went to the McDonald's, the main one that's not in the centre city.

I went to... Oh, that place that we went to that had been closed down and turned into something else. It had the cheeseburger spring rolls. That was delish. This is great. No, there's heaps of places. Elixir Cafe,

that's delish. That's really good. Yeah, we went there. That's pretty good. They do good breakfast. What did you have? Bacon and eggs. Yeah, because all you're doing

is saying where you went. I went there. You're supposed to filibuster and give the year right. It's about filling with unnecessary details. Oh, okay. Well, I had the eggs benedict once.

Yeah. And then another time I just went off menu and I just said, I just want scrambled eggs and bacon with one toast. Love it when people do that. You, why do you always do that? You suck. You do something that they've created on the menu. No, I want what I want.

And it's my filibuster. I'll tell you what I had. And we also have had, I think it is sushi somewhere. what I want. And it's my filibuster. I'll tell you what I had. Where else have I had? I think it is sushi somewhere. Definitely had sushi. Such a disservice to Taranaki. Oh, that place that we did the bingo in that time, the Good Home.

I've had dinner a couple of times there. That was nice. Oh, and actually went out for pizza with the parents to Owakura. There's a lovely, in the surf club there, and actually went out for pizza with the parents to Owakura. There's a lovely, in the surf club there, there's a proper Italian place. And you've got to be certified to have this kind of pizza. Here we go. From Naples.

You've got to, yeah, from Naples. You've got to have a certificate. You've got to have a certificate. And I'd never known about that. And then I got it. And it was real yum. Did you argue over flavour? Yeah, they didn't have, it was very plain,

the Naples pizzas. They don't have, like, chicken cranberry because I like chicken cranberry. There you go, done. Oh, my God, the filibuster. It's real hard when you put on the spot

like that filibuster. I feel like you warmed up to it. Yeah, you really found your stride when you started talking about the pizza. Where was it? Okura. I'd say all the things

you talked about, that would have been the one recommendation. Yeah, it was. It's really nice because I didn't know about the certificate. You need a certificate. You need to train in Naples to do the legit pizzas, yeah. Yeah, who knew that was a thing?

Yeah. Not me. But now I've learned. See, you taught me something. It was great that we got the filibuster out of the way. Filled two minutes. That was better than a roasting. I mean, it felt like a roasting.

All spotlights on me. It wasn't a roasting at all. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. I thought he was joking, but he's really not going to make it back from the bathroom. He's not, no. The problem is songs these days are two minutes.

It's not a lot. The bathroom's not exactly close to us. No. Just in his defence. Now, we've seen this with it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. There isn't as many festive decorations. Christmas has kind of been put on the back burner. I haven't even started my Christmas shopping. And you're normally done by now.

Yeah. I usually start in October. 35 days until Christmas? Oosh. Crazy. But I still thought I'm ready for a celebration and I'm ready for it. Yeah. But 44% of people have said they wouldn't be too upset if Christmas just didn't happen this year.

Just with everything that's happened this year. Yeah. 44% of people are hoping that it is a quiet Christmas at home. Do you think a lot of people were just like, let's just not do presents? Is it because they just don't want the drama because there's been enough drama all year? Or maybe they're already sick of their family

because they've seen them too much? Maybe. But then a lot of people haven't seen family. It's a good chance to get together. But I understand there's a lot of people you buy for and money's tight. Well, yeah, there's a lot of people you buy for and money's tight. Well, yeah, there's a lot of financial pressure obviously because, you know, people have had hours cut back and lost jobs.

But like because you do, is it your extended family that do the $5 or the limit? We do a limit for our secret centre but we only buy one present for the first. So you're not buying for everyone? You're not buying for like 10, 15 people. Which is good. But you still end up having all got a secret centre at work

and then you end up accumulating presents for people that you need to buy for. And it does get stressful. And 44% of people have had enough. Don't even want Christmas. Write it off. 2020's done. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZDM's free and Clinton to listen to? 2020's done.