ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 19th April 2021
Episode Date: April 18, 2021Yummy Yummy: Raspberry Jube Squiggles Top 6: Supermarket BodyCams When should you have read the fine print? Auggie called Vaughan a NERD! Honesty Bombing Where's My Medal?! Bluff or ...Stuff: Snow Lying Edition Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Hello, welcome to the Fletchbourne and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast.
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Download the Maccas app, buy five McCafe coffees and get one free.
Are you approving spam accounts to get into the Fletchbourne and Megan International Podcast family?
Someone is approving spam accounts.
I'm just tidying this bloody mess up.
No, I always have a good look through of who's applying because you can always tell a spam account.
Well, this is Malang Malang who has three friends on Facebook
and someone's let him in.
Oh, I wouldn't have.
And now he's just posting all these junk videos.
Jared, have you approved Malang Malang?
Jared's not an admin.
Is he not an admin?
Jared's not an admin.
No, I don't think I did.
Well, now I have to block Malang Malang.
Oh, right.
Is he posting how to make a tree log fountain out of concrete?
Oh, no.
We'll leave it.
No, that sounds great.
Have I mentioned this before to our listeners that Periscope's Facebook page has been hacked for so long
and it is a constant source of joy for me.
She always has those videos like, check out these guys building a pool with their bare hands.
Yeah, yeah.
Watch these girls do a funny.
And you're like, when is she going to realize that on her page,
which has nearly 400,000 followers, that she is hacked?
Has she not posted on any of the socials?
Oh, my gosh.
I just went on it.
Yeah.
Now, everything that she's been posting over the last wee while has disappeared.
Oh, so she must have got it back
Oh no some of it's still there but now a lot of it
Content not available, content not available
You're on to it girl but I have been enjoying the videos
Right now I'm deleting Malang Malang
Okay
I mean you will have to apologise if Malang Malang
Is actually a podcast listener
Malang Malang I don't believe is
A podcast listener
Because the only thing they ever post
Are the exact same
looking videos from the same spot okay and it's just those ones i don't know i don't know what's
in it for malang malang what i know a couple of clicks for the video i don't yeah but is it his
video is he getting royalties obviously is right is that the vibe that's yeah he just likes to know
that he's well maybe we need to because if you join some Facebook pages and they're like, if you want to join this page, answer three questions.
Like, what would our three questions be?
Who is currently covering for Megan?
Yeah.
Answer that, Malang Malang.
Who, what colour T-shirt is Fletch wearing today?
Because the answer is always navy blue.
It's navy blue because I'm good in navy blue.
You are very good in navy blue.
I am good in navy blue, yeah.
And it could be like, what's my favourite animal?
Cat.
Yep, cat would be.
People know these things if they listen to the show.
You could take a shot in the dark on the cat, though.
You'd probably be, yeah.
But I am fascinated.
This video that Malang Maling has posted, making a fake log.
Oh, it's going to be, oh, waterfall. It's going to be a waterfall. It's going to be a water feature. No, sorry, Malang Maling has posted, making a fake log. Oh, it's going to be, oh, okay, dumb.
It's going to be a water feature.
No, sorry, Malang Malang.
You lost me.
I thought it was going to be like a very beautiful.
Good painting, though, actually.
That's to be commended.
No, that's tacky.
Oh, yeah, I'm not having it on my house,
but it's a good part.
They've got a good technique there for the painting.
It's tacky.
I know what you're getting for your birthday.
Oh, no, please.
Some fake-ass tree-looking water feature thing. I'm not even going to ask what you're getting for your birthday. Oh no, please. Some fake ass tree looking
water feature thing. I'm not even going to ask.
You're just going to get home one day and there's going to be
a water feature in your house.
And it's going to be sorted. Anyway, thanks
Malang Malang and apologies for you being booted
from that group.
Fletch Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
Good morning. Welcome to the show.
Fletch Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul.
Five minutes past six.
Happy travel bubble day.
Yeah, exciting, isn't it?
Bubble day.
So, apparently 400 flights a week.
There will be 400 flights coming into New Zealand
as opposed to the start of April, 36.
Jesus.
So, that's between Qantas, Jetstar and Air New Zealand.
Right.
So a lot, there's going to be a lot of Aussies coming.
Yeah, it's good.
It's good.
Look forward to...
As long as they're bringing their checkbook.
Yeah.
I don't think people do checks now.
Is Chris Hemsworth going to come over, you reckon?
He better.
And he better bring his traveller's cheques.
Bring the traveller's cheques?
Oh, my God.
I think I only saw, I've only ever seen one traveller's cheque.
And it was one my parents got before they went away
and left us at home with our grandparents
on one of their overseas excursions.
And I was like, what's that?
And they explained it.
I was like, even as a kid, I was like, that seems dumb.
That seems unnecessary. That seems unnecessary.
That seems like a really dumb, stupid thing.
Yeah.
But what was the deal with them?
You got them issued.
Yeah, and then they were, so if they got lost or stolen, you'd cancel them.
Yes.
Yeah, and then you'd go over, so you have to find a bank or a place and cash them in.
Gosh.
For the local currency.
Yeah.
Or the cash equivalent of the local currency.
Yeah, that was wild.
What a wild time.
Wild. Coming up on the show
the top six. Yeah, in
Australia, people are treating their supermarket
employees so poorly.
This isn't the supermarket's treating them poorly, but
they're probably not doing them much justice
in the way of wages, but
people who go to the supermarket are treating these supermarket employees so poorly,
they're trialling body cams on them.
That's right, like the police in America have.
Isn't that crazy?
I guess COVID times in the last year have seen a lot of...
Anti-maskers and coffers and dicks.
Or people wanting two lots of toilet paper.
Yeah, people fighting in the aisles.
Remember that?
People getting into full-on fisticuffs.
Madness.
So I've got the top six things
that'll be likely to see in the supermarkets here in New Zealand.
All right, coming up on the show as well,
you might remember last week, Yummy Yummy, our food segment.
We took a look at a new biscuit.
That was the, what, the licorice...
Tim Tam.
No, Toffee Pop.
Toffee Pop.
Disgusting.
Well, we have a new biscuit that has been spotted in the supermarket aisles.
And we have it in studio to try.
And I'm more on board with this one.
We have two biscuits in studio.
And there are three hosts.
Peoples.
Three mouths, two biscuits.
We're going to work that one out.
I'm going to lady in the tramp it with a biscuit.
Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.
I don't know how this idea got over the table, to be honest.
I think it was last month there was a bit of an announcement that Facebook, old Mark Zuckerberg, who also own Instagram, were considering making a, were developing an Instagram for kids.
So it would be a slightly monitored version of Instagram where kids could share things amongst each other.
That seems like a terrible idea.
Yeah, so quite quickly, everyone was like, why would you do that? It's just going to lead to
all sorts of bullying and
I want to get them hooked though, don't they?
From the young age. For under 13s.
Seems
nuts!
Would you let your girls have an
Instagram for kids?
Like if they came home from
school and everyone had them
and they wanted them. I don't know.
It would depend what content.
If they could only access other.
Yeah, I don't know.
Like I'm assuming that you can only, maybe the parents can only add their friends.
Yeah, maybe.
Because there's Kids Messenger.
Right.
Which is Messenger.
And they don't need a Facebook profile to use it.
Yeah.
You as the parents set it up.
I had MSN Messenger.
Yeah. When I was sort I had MSN Messenger.
Yeah.
When I was sort of... MSN Messenger.
So Kids Messenger,
I get a report of who they've been talking to.
Oh, right.
And within this app,
I've got on my phone,
but they've got on like iPads.
Yeah.
I can literally scroll through
and see who they've been talking to.
So can you see their messages?
Yeah.
Oh, okay, right.
Well, that's good.
And like whatever photos or videos or whatever have been sent and stuff.
Do they send any funny, do they say anything funny?
No, not really.
They've just got all these, they'd like have chat groups with like all of their cousins
and then like leaving out one cousin.
Basically what adults do with like work chat.
They'll leave like one cousin out and then so then they'll have another one cousin out. And then so then they'll have another chat
and it's just girls.
And then they'll have a chat
where they've included the boys.
And yeah, it's pretty wacky.
The one that they were proposing,
that Facebook was proposing,
is run by parents.
Like, so you would have to do it all
and monitor it all.
Right.
And that kind of thing.
But lots of health advocates have come out
being like, this is a terrible idea for young people.
It's going to lead to image, to lead to self-image issues and bullying
and all that kind of stuff.
Because I think even as adults, we love Instagram and we all use it,
but we know it's bad, right?
It's bad.
We know it's bad.
I remember last year during lockdown, and I didn't like lockdown at all.
I'm an extrovert.
Require socialisation
and I was watching
all these people having their happiest lockdown
and I was like, oh I feel like I'm doing
something wrong. It was really unhealthy
for a while. I was like, oh I don't want Instagram for a bit.
But then you know they were turning off Instagram
and then being miserable too. And being just as miserable.
Exactly. But I was like
I can't put it on. I can't
take a photo and be like, lol loving lockdown life and I was like, I can't put it on. I can't take a photo and be like, lol, love and lockdown life.
And I'm like, 10 kgs heavier.
I haven't seen my friends in ages.
So basically, Instagram for kids, not happening now.
Well, they're discussing it, but it hasn't officially been pulled as an idea.
So it's still floating around.
You know it's happening.
Don't do it. Surely not. So it's still floating around. You know it's happening. Don't do it.
Surely not.
Hook the man.
Surely not.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
If you drink a lot of energy drinks, take heed, says the British Medical Journal.
Oh, okay.
That's something to take heed of from a 21-year-old who drank the equivalent of two litres of energy drink a day.
So four of those big 500ml cans.
Two litres?
Yeah.
No!
So basically like a two-litre bottle of milk.
What was his skin like?
Energy drink.
Well, it doesn't matter what his skin was like.
His heart was what gave out.
Wow.
He had had shortness of breath and had lost weight for four months.
And he was drinking, when they boiled it down, 500ml energy drinks,
four of them a day.
That was his preferred delivery system.
Big cans, straight down the gullet hole.
It's like pouring battery acid down your esophagus.
Yeah.
So now they're saying that these energy drinks
should be like cigarettes and have health warnings on them
for the sugar content alone.
He developed severe biventricle heart failure
and severe renal failure.
No medical history.
Was an ex-smoker.
So had stopped smoking
and did not take illegal drugs.
Wow.
You don't need to when you're on the monster energy.
When were the supermarkets brought in the, was it 16 or 18?
For energy drinks.
Yeah, do you remember that?
Was that last year?
Yeah, I kind of remember that.
Is that a thing?
I feel like one of the supermarket chains said like countdown.
They were like, we're only selling to 16 and above.
It also feels like it should have happened before last year.
Yeah. It feels like more of're only selling to 16 and above. It also feels like it should have happened before last year. Yeah.
It feels like more of a 2010 thing to take care of.
So a study in the UK between 2006 and 2014,
the consumption of energy drinks increased by 155%
from 235 to 600 million litres a year.
I've seen some absolute units pounding up at the gym.
Same, at the gym.
Yeah, dog, walking around with a big
monster energy can
on site.
It's like a pre-workout
because it's got caffeine in it and sugar
and it gets you all jacked. You better just have a coffee.
I know.
You better just have a drink of water.
So,
stuff to the story a few years back.
The average sugar in a V, 355 mil.
That's a small can.
No, it's not.
Nine teaspoons of sugar.
The Monster 500 mil, 13.5 teaspoons.
And the Red Bull 355 mil, nine teaspoons as well.
What are you...
Producer Jared Hearns won every morning.
I was going to, like, when it was your birthday, I was going to
buy you, like, a pout, like a tray.
Don't do that. I'm not going to now.
That's equivalent of buying someone a...
A couple of cartons of cities on the way back
to a journey free.
I'm just sipping on a 250ml.
Do you have one most mornings? Yeah,
every morning. Every weekday morning.
Do you do sugar-free, though?
No.
Oh, Derek!
How do you not get fat, eh?
You will, though.
Just you wait.
How old are you?
27.
It's coming.
Oh, it's coming.
Absolutely.
Might be hiding around 30.
Yeah.
Might be hiding around the corner at 30.
Doesn't it make you feel sick, that sweetness?
No, it makes me feel alive.
Hey, it's helping him do his job great.
So, you know, should we be worried about this?
To be honest, like I have made,
I had a shocking health weekend.
Shocking.
And so I've made a very healthy smoothie this morning
and I feel sick.
It's so feral.
You'd rather have it.
You guys have got to find the balance.
I would trade this absolute feral blueberry monstrosity for a can of Red Bull.
Well, it actually says on the can, two cans max daily.
And these are $2.50.
This guy that died, he was drinking four times the recommended amount.
Yeah, four massive ones.
Yeah, it's crazy.
So they said that he had symptoms of dyspepsia, tremors,
and heart palpitations and racing, but he didn't go to the doctor.
And then three months prior to when he finally went to the doctor,
so it was one of those things where he probably knew what was causing it
and he just kept putting it off, he had to drop out of university
because he couldn't concentrate.
Oh, no.
He was always tired, et cetera, et cetera.
So they just said, yeah, if you want to get your heart racing on the daily,
maybe some exercise rather than forcing it into that situation.
Trouble is when it's like, you know, 6 o'clock in the morning,
you go to the servo, a pint of water isn't the same, is it?
No.
They go hand in hand, don't they?
A pie and a sparkling water, maybe?
The only way I can get a Red Bull down is if it's accompanied by a lovely shot of Jagermeister.
Right in the middle of that bad boy.
Relive in your early 20s.
Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
ZM.
Yummy, yummy.
Yummy, yummy.
It's a segment of the show.
We take a look at new food trends, new food items in supermarkets.
Now, I've just Googled this.
It's not on the Griffin's website.
It's not in any news story.
I think they've done one of those soft launches where they get the word of mouth
by putting packets of these in the supermarket.
Yeah, and on our doorsteps.
Yes.
Producer Jared was at the supermarket last night and messaged the group chat,
you spotted these?
Yep, made my day.
You immediately knew I'd love these.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, he knows me and biscuits.
Squiggles are one of my top biscuits.
Can I also look at this before we discuss the squiggle itself?
There's a lot to get into with this photo you've sent us.
It's a bird's eye view of the squiggles.
And then you can see the edge of your cart where you've got some spinach.
And for that, I commend you.
Yep.
Considering how much energy drink you drink,
I think some spinach could balance that a bit.
And then you've got the old pen and paper shopping list.
The whole refill. And you've got a old pen and paper shopping list. The whole refill.
And you've got a pen there, an absolute sheet of refill.
Do you know about the note function on the phone, Jared?
I'm an analogue man, guys.
And you can tick it off as you're done on the phone, eh?
You can be like, done.
Yes, I love that.
Got it, got it.
In the cart.
Yeah.
Anyway, I'll leave that one alone.
Well, this is a new Squiggles flavour, and I'm here for it.
Jared has actually brought them in for us to try, too.
I like that you couldn't spare us three out of a packet.
You had a packet, you monster.
Well, if I gave you three, then I wouldn't have this one that I'm about to eat.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, good, good.
So the flavour is Raspberry Jube Squiggles, special edition.
Because I love fruit jubes as a lolly.
Okay. Well,
because I had an absolute shocker of a weekend, food-wise,
and Fletcher trying to be healthy,
do you want to go halves, and Vaughan, you can have a full?
Yes. This sounds like
a great deal. Are we happy for fingers?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Absolutely. Alright, so we'll try one of these.
Okay, so it's got one of these. Okay, we'll go.
Okay, so it's got a red squiggle on top.
Yeah.
So it's still got your traditional squig.
Does it look a little bit, it looks, the diameter doesn't look as much as an ordinary squig.
It does look petite.
But it looks a tid bit taller.
But thicker.
Yes, yeah.
Well, we're getting a real good look in here because I'm hoping this is like my favourite berry biscuit.
You know,
like Black Forest chocolate
that's got lollies in it.
The jib is more of an icing
than it is like a jelly.
I was expecting a jelly.
No, there's little bits of jib.
Right.
Yeah.
It's not whole jibs.
It's like a delicious
Black Forest.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
That's a pretty good biscuit.
Yeah, it's like a
Black Forest flavour,
isn't it?
Would I buy it again
over the traditional squiggle?
No, I wouldn't.
Which is my absolute fave.
I wouldn't.
No, but if they were at a party, I'd be like, yeah, I have one of those.
I'll eat that.
6.28 on day one of my diet.
Not going well.
Sun's not up.
Technically, the day hasn't started.
Thank you.
Look, if you want a diet loophole, you've come to the right guy.
I've been loopholing myself out of diets for like 20 years.
Is that good?
Yeah, that's good.
I am.
I'm not a big raspberry guy, but that's pretty good.
I'm into it too.
I'd like to see this on top of like a cake, like a Black Forest cake.
Yes.
So crumbled all on top maybe.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Could be a little heavier handed on the jube dispersion
amongst the raspberry flavoured.
I got quite a bit of jube.
I just broke into my, yeah, mine's jube-alicious.
The jube's the last part left in my mouth, the little mini jube.
And they are delicious.
They're pretty good.
Okay, good work, good work, Griffins.
Yep.
God, they know how to make us fat, don't they?
They know a biscuit, don't they?
They know their way around a biscuit factory. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, good work. Good work, Griffins. Yep. God, they know how to make us fat, don't they? They know a biscuit, don't they? They know their way around a biscuit factory.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
Yesterday, walked into the lounge.
This was in the getting towards the evening.
And I said, cooled off a bit, hasn't it?
Because I'm a dad and that's what I have to do.
Comment on how much rain's fallen or the general atmospheric conditions temperature-wise.
It's a classic parent chat.
It really is.
It's a bit, isn't it?
Yeah.
And then Sade replied with the most,
you know, the mum side of things.
Been like, well, you know,
we are getting closer to winter
at a salad savings.
Oh, God.
And I was like,
you know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to go chuck on the swanny.
Oh, okay.
So you bust it.
Is this the first for the year?
So this is the first time, yeah,
for a casual at-home Swanee chuck-on.
I've got my dress Swanee today.
This is my old, red, comfortable, worn-in-a-million-times,
round-the-house Swanee.
Yeah.
I'm just looking around the country right now.
Just a quick snapshot.
The coldest place right now, Mosgiel.
2.8 degrees.
Oh, yeah.
It's four in Christchurch.
Oh.
14 in Wellington as we move up the country.
Topor's nine and Auckland's 13.
Yeah.
So that kind of gives you a range of the temperatures there.
Like, it's 12 in Invercargill.
It's so bloody cold in Mosgill.
I don't know.
Sort of gets trapped in that little gully by the sun.
10 degrees colder.
Bloody old Mosgill.
Yeah. I'm excited. But old Mozgill. Yeah.
I'm excited.
But she's certainly, we're past, we're at that point where it's not getting any warmer.
I don't like being cold and I don't like, you know, like having to get out of the shower
and being like, quickly get your clothes on.
But I do love a layered fashion.
You know what I mean?
That's how you would think of the layered fashion.
I always feel really limited in the summer because I'm a hot commodity.
I'm constantly like too warm.
And so like I just love jackets and I love the fashion.
Yeah.
A bit of a beanie action.
I'm a beanie guy.
I prefer a beanie to a hat.
Yeah.
I don't know why.
I love a hat too, but if I had to rank them,
it would be beanie first.
I put the beanie on last night as well because then I had
some water pump.
My shoes bloody hell.
Bloody water pump. I should have been she was bloody hell. Bloody water pump.
I should have been out of there.
She'd fix it up with the water pump,
didn't I?
Right.
I was on my swanny and my beanie.
Right.
Okay.
But yeah,
it was cold out there.
So it was beanie time as well.
It just felt good.
Big, thick,
like farm socks.
Yep.
God damn it.
I love a big, thick woolen sock
because it's not,
it's not,
people might be thinking,
Vaughn, it's too hot a sock.
Not if you've gone for a natural wool.
Yeah, natural fibre.
Yeah, Aaron's got this, his mum knitted him a jumper
and it's ginormous.
Like, it is just, on me, it's like to my ankles.
Like a wingsuit.
Like you're going to jump out of a plane with a Red Bull helmet on.
What's that thing called?
Base jumping. Yeah. I can go base jumping in it. It's, exactly. With a Red Bull helmet on. What's that thing called? Base jumping.
Yeah, yeah.
I can go base jumping in it.
It's so good.
Flying through the Swiss Alps.
But it's also the duvet time.
So I've got a, we use like a quilt, you know,
like a woven kind of quilt thing in the summer.
And that, just the other day,
especially because Aaron's been away,
I don't have a big hot body next to me.
Oh, it's chilly air, so the duvet's out now.
Right. Do you do one, is that the so the duvet's out now. Right.
Do you do one?
Is that the one winter duvet?
Because I've got two duvets.
No, we've got, well, we just bought a new one,
so we've got two now.
One's like a medium weight.
Yeah.
Because then we'll put the quilt on top.
So you've got the duvet quilt.
I love a big winter duvet.
They're so good.
You're a three duvet man, are you?
Well, no, I've got the summer.
Coverlet.
The summer coverlet and then a medium duvet, which is on now.
For the heavy winter months, I'll do the heavy one.
And then you'll go back to the medium duvet in sort of the spring.
Like September.
Yeah, for a few months and then back to the coverlet.
September, October, and then back to the coverlet.
I just don't have the storage for that kind of lifestyle.
No, vacuum pack.
I vacuum packed the other day.
Yeah, I vacuum packed the other day. Yeah, I vacuum packed
my winter clothes.
Very confronting
ever since that Netflix
documentary
Don't F with Cats.
That's right.
Every time I vacuum pack
something now,
I think of those cats
and that documentary
and that crazy man.
Yeah, spoiler alert,
he vacuum packed some cats.
Yeah.
Horrible murderer.
And leading to the internet
to find out who would
do such a thing.
Yeah.
And hence uncover this incredible, murderous.
Hell of a story.
Conniving.
Horrendous, eh?
Yeah.
Incredible show.
Well, I'm sorry you had to relive that when vacuum packing down your meat.
Every change of season that's dragged up.
It is.
You got a good bag?
You got a good vacuum bag?
Oh, yeah.
I got them from like Mitre 10 or Bunnings.
Yes.
You're real heavy duty.
Although my Kmart vacuum cleaner that I use,
because I've got two vacuum cleaners, the Dyson.
I was going to say, you've got to get yourself a Dyson.
And the Kmart.
That stops after one vacuum pack.
I think it blows the motor or something.
Oh, yeah, it needs a rest, doesn't it?
And then you unplug it.
You did suck up plaster dust with it,
and that is one of the number one rule of vacuum cleaners is you don't suck up plaster dust with it. and that is one of the number one rule of vacuum cleaners,
is you don't suck up plaster dust with it.
See, we've got two vacuum cleaners, a house one and a renovation one.
The renovation one, you suck up glass, dirt, anything.
Water.
Get it in there, it doesn't matter.
And then take it back for a refund.
Yeah, and be like, this is broken.
Don't know why.
I'm just going to look in the filter.
Oh, yeah, you vacuumed out water straight after plaster dust.
You've got a brand new jib wall lining the filter of your vacuum cleaner.
Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
ZM.
From the triangular ZM think tank, this is the top six.
Okay.
Oh, hello.
What?
Which one wasn't on me?
Okay, Woolworths in Australia are trialling body cams on staff
because they've been treated so atrociously.
Why do we call it different?
That was a terrible English sentence.
Why do we?
I think because there was Woolworths in New Zealand, right?
Yes.
And there were countdowns, and I think they probably just were like,
what's the more well-known brand in New Zealand?
And it was Countdown.
So they merged and, yeah, made them all countdowns.
Yeah.
And it made it feel more New Zealand,
even though if you just scratch just below the surface, it's Australian.
Owned.
Yeah, owned.
As you were, sir.
So I think that's why.
I don't know.
Maybe a supermarket historian would like to get in touch
because I personally would like to talk extensively
about Three Guys and Big Fresh.
Two supermarkets of yesteryear here in Aotearoa
that I don't think we talk about enough.
No free buns anymore, that's for sure.
Oh, heck no.
Gone are those days.
No, sirree.
Do kids still get a free slice of luncheon?
No, they're getting them
fruit now, rather than highly processed
sodium enriched meat.
Yeah, I feel like you only get a free
oh, I'm tearing up about luncheon.
I feel like you only get a free slice of luncheon if you're
buying more luncheon, which I haven't done in
honestly, forever.
15 years. Yeah. And then the profit margin
on luncheon must be
through the roof if they can afford to hand them out willy-nilly.
Oh, yeah.
And judging.
Hoof and sawdust.
Judging by the bags of luncheon that just get popped in random places
in the supermarket when people realise how much it's costing,
I'd say, yeah, the mark-up's quite intense.
So the top six things.
Well, there goes number four, Fletch.
So you can have another one.
We need to stop having chats before the top six.
We're just being
wildly specific with
particular parts of the chat before the
top six.
I want to hear you improvise.
Let's see you do it
on the fly.
The top six things
that supermarket employee body cams would see
if they wore them in New Zealand.
I'm hoping they wouldn't see this sort of abuse.
I mean, these people are everywhere, these argumentative types.
Do our police even have body cams?
I don't think they do.
No.
They've got patrol car cams.
Yeah, right.
But I don't think so.
I don't think they've got body cams.
We don't shoot enough people. Maybe the like armdy dudes do. Yeah, right. Yeah, but I don't think so. I don't think they've got body cams. We don't shoot enough people.
Maybe the like armed-y dudes do.
Yeah, right.
The armed offenders just for like going back over what happened.
The armed offenders.
Yeah, right.
Because they're after offenders that are armed.
Yeah.
They're not defending.
They're getting the offenders.
Yeah.
So the top six things a supermarket employee body cams would see in New Zealand.
Number six, someone being far too aggressive with their fingers in an avocado.
I've gone through a couple of avocados in my time.
How else do you know?
If you go through them, they shouldn't be on the shelf anyway.
Yeah, no, that's my thought.
Yeah, they're too soft to be selling.
No one's buying that brown gum.
No, I mean the...
Exactly.
On the top.
Oh, you do the top.
See, I give it a full hand squeeze.
Right.
Gently.
Nah.
You're too aggressive.
You'll leave your fingerprints with somebody else. But the pop on the top, you roll it back, don't you? You don't push it in. Right. Gently. Nah. You're too aggressive. You'll leave your fingerprints with somebody else.
But the pop on the top, you roll it back, don't you?
You don't push it in.
You pull it back.
Yeah, yeah.
And you look down into it.
Yeah, and then you decide it's not for you and you put it back
and now no one else can pop the top.
Yeah, because if they pop it.
And you're letting all the air in.
Yeah, the air's in now.
It's ruined.
That's how you know if it's a good one, right?
You look and you can see the colour you want.
Yeah.
Number five on the list of the top six things a supermarket employee body cans would see
if they were here in New Zealand.
They'd say they would have a little taste of the Bickermix.
Just a little taste.
I don't know if I like that.
That's a peanut.
I don't know if I like it.
Have a little taste.
I saw someone try a grape the other day.
I was like, you can't do that.
You know what they taste like.
You know what grapes taste like.
Calm down.
And it says seedless on them if they're seedless.
Yeah.
The only thing I'll do now in a supermarket is if I'm really hungry,
I'll get something that has the price or a barcode on it and I'll eat it
and then I'll scan the wrapper.
Scan the wrapper.
No, I don't know about that.
Unless you've somehow lost the wrapper.
Yeah, then I'll just snick it.
Technically a stall.
Well, you can't self-serve checkout if you do that because it needs to wait.
Ah. I used to do it all the time as a kid. I'd be like, I'm angry. My you can't self-serve checkout if you do that because it needs to wait. Ah.
I used to do it all the time as a kid.
I'd be like, I'm angry.
My mum would be like, ah.
No, I can't stand people that do that.
It's actually disgusting.
It is.
What would she give you?
If there was like a big bag of snack pack chips or something,
she'd open it up and give me one.
Really?
Yeah.
Just to distract you from wanting other things in the supermarket?
Just to shut me up.
Keep you on track.
Number four on the list of the top six things that supermarket employee body cams would see,
and this was supposed to be discarding items from the chilled section and the non-chilled section.
That's what this was supposed to be, but somebody put a big fat foot in it.
It would have been good, though.
It would have been a good one.
Yeah.
Number four on the list of the top six things supermarket employee body cams would see if they're here in New Zealand.
Someone picking out a trolley
and they're noticing it's got a leaf of lettuce
in the bottom and be like,
I don't want this.
Yes.
Do I touch them?
I'm not touching the lettuce.
Yes.
I mean, it's obviously just lettuce,
but it's a few hours of lettuce.
Or a soggy docket.
I love seeing a soggy docket.
No, yuck.
Because that means that trolley's been out in the rain.
It's seen some things.
And somebody took the receipt, even though you can opt out,
and then cared for it so little it sat in the bottom of the trolley.
Number three on the list of the top six things that supermarket employee body cans would see if they were in New Zealand.
Someone who can't find what they're looking for but is too stubborn to ask for help.
Yeah.
So they just keep weaving up and down the aisles.
What's kind of not fine the other day?
It was like porridge. And it turns out they just
didn't have it. They had porridge
but I wanted the sachets.
My specific brand. Yeah, right.
But they said, oh, we don't have any at the moment when I finally
decided to ask. Mine's always
tahini. You go and look in the
refrigerated section by the falafel and the
likes where you feel tahini would be.
That's surely where tahini would live. Not there.
Where is it? It's near like the nut spreads and
stuff because it's a sesame paste. Yeah, it's got its own
thing now. Does it need to be refrigerated?
No, not if the jar's closed.
Unbelievable. So I'd be parked
up next to the almond butter and the... Yeah, the amount
of times I've gone like, where on earth would you find
tahini? And it's always there.
Always there. Not chilled. Number two on the list of the top six gone like, where on earth would you find tahini? And it's always there. Always there. Not chilled.
Number two on the list of the top six
things employment, supermarket employee,
body cans at Saftaro in New Zealand.
A lot of contemplation in the chip aisle.
Yeah. What chip are you in the mood for?
And are you going to be in the mood for that same chip when you
get round to eating these chips? My answer
to that question is always cheese balls.
I was going to say a cheesy
corn based snack. I'm a cass say a cheesy corn-based snack.
I'm a cassava.
Sour cream and onion.
See yourself out.
Yuck.
What are you on, an Air New Zealand flight?
Sour cream and chives, cassava chips.
Sour cream and chives, Murphy's thick cut.
Anything sour cream and chives.
Yeah, right.
Sour cream and chives.
Sour cream and chives is a dumb flavour.
It's like you haven't...
It's a dumb flavour.
It's like you wanted flavour, but halfway through you chickened out.
Yeah, grow up.
Yeah.
I will not stand by that.
Or grow up or grow down and come out of that retirement village where sour cream and chives.
It is the best flavor.
No, it's an old person's flavor.
A sour cream and chives Murphy's thick cut.
I love a Murphy's thick cut, but if you're going to get a Murphy's thick cut, don't get a sour cream and chives.
And number one on the list of the top six things supermarket employees bodycams would see if they're in New Zealand.
A lot of checking of milk dates.
Because even though that bottle of milk's getting finished in about two days, you want the one that expires in three weeks.
Yes.
Not two weeks and six days.
You'll keep looking until you find one with the farthest away.
The farthest.
Farthest?
Farthest.
Farthest away expiry.
Furthest.
There it is.
Furthest away expiry date.
Yes.
Go hunting right at the back.
Go right to the back.
Make a real mess.
Take all the jugs of milk out.
Put them all over the floor.
They stock them from the back.
From the back.
Yes, and they just push them forward to fill the gaps.
Go right to the back.
Go right to the back.
That's today's top six.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
It's 6.60 on ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's 6.60 on ZM.
With like seven seconds to go on that song,
Hayley's like, watch this.
Fletch is like, we're about to go on air,
and she's like, watch this.
Showed him a video.
I don't know what happened in the video.
I'm in the dark over here.
I'm obviously not having fun.
It's this video of someone putting ketchup on a hot dog and then they fuck up the hot dog and dunk the whole hot dog
in a bucket of tomato sauce.
I don't know why that's so funny.
I don't know why either.
I was like, I can see exactly where this is going.
And then when you say it, it's just really satisfying.
We got a charity sausage outside Mitre 10.
Yeah.
A charity sausage?
No, it is't charity sausage.
It was ever called a sausage sizzle.
A charity sausage.
We hoped ourselves to a grand charity sausage.
Classic Vaughan always going on about his charity.
Yeah, just another way to squeeze in there.
Going to claim it back?
Youth group or something.
A charity sausage. They didn't butter the bread. Oh, just another way to squeeze in there that I helped a youth group do something. A charity sausage. They didn't butter the bread.
Oh, what? And it was like
$2.50. I was like, A,
for $2.50 I'm expecting
onions, butter,
a condiment option
other than tomato sauce, your mustard.
I'm doing both. Yeah, or a mayo
or a sweet chilli. They didn't even butter the bread.
When we walked away, I went,
Monters.
Tsk, tsk.
You're supposed to margarine the bread
because the bread is famously cheap.
Yes.
And you can't put butter on it.
No, it'll tear it up.
But it's the only time I love a bit of marge.
It's the only time I love a bit of spreadable.
Yeah.
You're not making those charity sausage choices,
you know, based on any sort of dietary recommendations,
are you?
Oh, Producer Jared's informing me via a message
that they don't butter the bread
because of dietary requirements and people that are allergic to butter.
I'm allergic to butter and I'll take a bit of butter any day.
Like dietary requirements.
You shouldn't be getting a charity sausage anyway.
God knows what's in those things.
It's mostly elbows and assholes, isn't it?
It's like steamed butthole.
It's all minced.
It all tastes the same, doesn't it?
Well, from one rocked up man to another,
if you think you're angry,
go away to hear this guy's story.
Vaughn, you haven't heard this.
We were talking about it earlier
and it is just shocking.
A Sydney tradie,
he works in lining pools,
swimming pools,
doing like glass fences around pools and stuff.
He found his dream home. He'd been saving up stuff. He found his dream home.
He'd been saving up for it, found his dream home.
And he put down the deposit of $150,000.
Holy hell.
That was just the deposit.
That's a monster.
It was a $4.8 million mansion in Sydney.
$150,000.
He had to play the balance of the deposit on the,
when did he do it?
Anyway, some date in August.
Yeah.
He went overseas on a trip, then he came back to Australia
and paid the remaining $91,500 for the deposit.
Yeah.
Which takes the deposit to $241,500.
And he paid it two days late.
So the sellers, the vendors,
kept it and then cancelled the contract.
So they...
Because they were allowed to do that.
They were allowed to do that.
Because he was late.
Because he was two days late to his payment.
$91,000.
Where did he go overseas?
No, no, no.
Oh, sorry.
So this is all, there's a lawsuit that followed.
Right.
That has just been resolved now.
This was in 2019.
Right.
So he was in Greece.
He was with his family in Greece for an extended holiday.
Came back and he'd
sent them an email and he
said, with regards to the second part of the
deposit, I'm currently overseas and have been for the past
five weeks. I'll be returning on the 6th of August and
will be depositing the balance shortly
after. If you don't believe me, check my
Instagram. Greece was a hot
gram pre-COVID. Greece was a
hot gram. He didn't ghost them. He was like, hey was a hot brand. Pre-COVID, Greece was a hot brand. He didn't ghost them.
He was like, hey, I'm overseas. Right.
As soon as I'm back, I'll pay back. And did he hear from them?
It's not
clear in this. Right.
Well, like, what kind of scummy people
would take $250,000
from someone? Yes, they did email him back
straight away. So on the
first he sent that, on the second they
emailed saying, contract provides for payment
no later than the 4th of August.
Kindly provide receipt of payment.
Right.
On the 6th of August,
he transferred the remaining amount
and then they've kept it.
Oh my God.
So then he tried to sue them
because that's a quarter of a million dollars.
Yeah.
Of not the mortgage,
the cash.
Yeah.
The cash that he's given to them.
And then the court ruled not in his favour.
Because it was a contract.
Yeah, they said that the court found the contract's language
was a bit awkward, but nevertheless,
the full amount had to be payable before August 5th.
What kind of scummy people would do that?
Publicity alone would be
Enough
Killer for the company, right?
Well, it's probably not a company
It's probably just individuals
Oh, right
But even still, what is it?
It would be a big construction company, wouldn't it?
Yeah, if they got contracts like that
Oh, come on
That's so bad
That's brutal
So he doesn't get the house
He's lost $250,000
Dude, I'm so sorry It's brutal. So he doesn't get the house. He's lost $250,000.
Dude, I'm so sorry.
That is horrid. I just, yeah.
That kind of money.
But at the same time, they did email back and say,
no, you'd think he would have got someone to transfer it
or done it online or rang the bank from Greece.
No, but you just sort of think it's only two days late.
What's the worst that could happen?
I did this once when me and Aaron were,
this is exactly the same scale of things.
Yeah.
Me and Aaron were flat hunting when we lived in Wellington,
found a flat up the back of Hataitai,
put down the deposit that day to secure it
because it was really in high demand.
Yeah.
Got home and realised that our bed wouldn't fit the bedroom.
We wrote them, we're like, oh, hey, we were just there today.
We just paid the deposit.
We can't come.
And he was like, that's all good.
You don't get your deposit back.
And that was a couple hundred bucks.
He would not have had trouble filling that room.
But again, you didn't read the fine print when you signed.
Didn't read the fine print.
Didn't read the fine print that if you back out of it, you lose the deposit.
That's on me.
So we want to take your calls this morning. Have you ever been stung by the fine print that if you back out of it, you lose the deposit. That's on me. So we want to take your calls this morning.
Have you ever been stung by the fine print?
Happy Travel Bubble Day.
We can now go to Australia, asterisks.
It's on you if you get stuck there, though, with a lockdown.
Today, Add to Cart is back.
And all this week, it's travel related.
So experiences here in Australia.
Just every drop, everything we add to the cart
is just an adapter for a different country.
E-type, J-type.
And then the final one is just a global adapter.
So you could have just had one of those.
The ones where you push the different pins out.
Take one of those in a multi-box
and then you've got the ability to charge like
eight items. Alright, we'll add to cart just after
the news at eight o'clock. But talking about
a Sydney tradie who'd lost
a quarter of a million dollars because
he didn't read the fine print. He thought
I'll be alright just making this payment two days
late. And he wasn't. He lost his whole
deposit for a house.
It's a nice house too. And it's been to court
and even the courts are like, well look, this was the contract. It's a nice house too. And it's been to court and even the courts are like,
well, look, this was the contract.
It was in the fine print.
You just clicked yes or you signed away.
It's on you.
Hayley, you said that you signed up for a flat,
paid the deposit, but then your bed wouldn't fit.
Yeah.
Someone said that isn't this exact same thing happening to you
with a couch you just ordered?
And they want you to from now on
take more care
with furniture measurements,
please.
There seemed to be
a very strong pattern developing.
What's sad is the amount
of years that have passed
between then and now
and how little I've learned.
Yeah.
We've done the same
in the house we moved into.
We bought two rugs
that were too big.
Not like they physically fit, but they
just dominated the space. Yeah, yeah.
So what, you technically bought
a carpet. You re-carpeted it,
temporarily re-carpeted it. You just didn't tack it down.
At least your carpet underneath
is not going to age. So we want
to take your calls now. Amy, when
did you not read the fine print?
I'd booked a rental
car to, I'd come back from overseas,? I booked a rental car to
come back from overseas and
I needed a rental car
to get from the Auckland airport back
to Rotorua. Okay.
And I didn't realise
that they wouldn't rent it to me
if I wasn't on a full
licence. I was still on a restricted
licence. Oh yeah.
Or sometimes
will they rent it to you,
but some rental cars will, but
you've got to pay heaps more in insurance per
day. Yes. Yeah, or if you're under 25.
No, back in those days, they
didn't want to borrow from me.
Wow, and so you're at the airport just like,
help? Yep.
What did you do?
Oh, I had to catch a bus to the city
to then book a domestic bus,
which was horrible with luggage and stuff
because at one point the bus driver
tried to take off with half my stuff on the bus still.
They get confused about who's on and who's off.
Nowadays you can just jump on with all the people
coming back in with COVID.
Catch a ride to Rotorua.
Yeah.
To the COVID hotel. You're brilliant. Amy, thanks
for your call. Anonymous, when did the
fine print trip you up?
So I
bought a house with my
ex and I
was only 20. I was pretty young.
I was trying to safeguard myself because I
had no idea what I was doing.
And I had a lawyer and I had a chat with my lawyer.
She gave us a deed of nomination, which she signed, saying if we broke up, I got my house deposit back.
And we split everything else in the house 50-50.
Right.
He signed it.
We're both happy. He took off with someone from his work,
and I'm literally in the process now of fighting for my house deposit
because apparently under relationship law,
that trumps anything signed basically like a freedom.
Wow.
Wow, okay.
Is it your 50, everything's 50-50?
Well, I don't even want 50-50.
I just wanted my house deposit back and, like,
just enough to be able to move on.
Start again, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
This is why I say you never trust anyone ever, full stop, ever.
Never get into a relationship?
Yeah.
You're signing something from the lawyer saying,
hey, you guys break up, you guys get your house deposits back each.
And I was a good person.
I never went for his.
But I'm still, like, trying to convince him
it's wrong to take mine.
Yeah, I'd be trying.
You think signing something from a lawyer would...
Yeah, you would.
But yeah, apparently relationship law overrides it.
So he's actually entitled to it.
I'd just be nasty and...
You wouldn't.
I'd just be nasty and try for everything,
half of everything of his as well.
Same, and then I'd throw out his PlayStation games.
I'd burn everything.
I want half of your boots, I'll pay one boot.
I'd scream, see you in hell.
Yeah, and I'd snip holes in his
crotch of everything he owns.
I thought you were going to say you were going to cut his brakes.
I thought that's where you were going with
the brakes as well.
What do you think of me? Thank you were going to cut his brakes or something. I thought that's where you were going with the brakes as well. Burn his car.
What do you think of me?
Thank you, Anonymous.
Some text messages in.
Somebody said, I cancelled my gym membership by phone and then found out my car application was declined
due to an outstanding debt I owed the gym.
I was like, what the hell?
It turns out Baycorp were after me.
As I had to send my cancellation in writing or in person,
I couldn't just do it over the phone,
even though the person who I cancelled with was like,
yep, okay.
Oh, that's bad news.
I'll cancel that.
That's bad on the person on the phone.
That's on them.
Yeah.
Someone said,
10 days into a six-week holiday, my grandma passed away.
We tried to claim travel insurance,
but they declined because apparently living in a rest home
is considered a pre-existing health condition.
Are you kidding me? Are you serious? She was otherwise healthy, but living in a rest home is considered a pre-existing health condition. Are you kidding me?
She was.
Are you serious?
Otherwise healthy, but living in a rest home.
Man, how about all the fine print that we all found in insurance last year
not covered by a pandemic?
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
Who knew that was a thing?
I know.
Who knew?
I met my partner in Australia after he finished his fly-in, fly-out shift.
That's like a mining thing.
We booked a week in Bali for a holiday,
sorted in travel insurance online straight away
once we decided we were going to go to Bali.
All good.
Carried on to Bali for a few holidays.
Caught dengue fever.
Several hundred dollars for doctors and hospitals later
and earlier flight home.
We went to claim the insurance and they said they wouldn't pay
because I hadn't got travel insurance
before leaving New Zealand
and that was my point of residence.
We'd booked it in Australia
before leaving Australia
because it was kind of like a...
Yeah, right.
Bit of a last minute thing.
They will find any reason, eh?
Yeah.
To get out of it.
They're scummy.
They are not here to help us.
They're scummy.
They're not here to...
It's like they exist to make money.
Yeah, it's crazy, yeah.
What?
What?
Surely not.
I thought they were there to help people.
No, apparently not.
Apparently not.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
I was saying last week that my daughters have started guitar lessons
and the first one they learn to play is Smoke on the Water.
Yeah.
Remember that?
Yeah.
So they were practicing over the weekend, doing the guitar practice.
And I was taken back to my childhood where after five minutes, Augusta's like, why can't I play the entire song now?
Yes.
You know when you're a kid, you're like, why isn't this easy?
Why am I not Dave Grohl?
Hence why I gave everything up
that I tried.
It's been five minutes.
Why am I not the best
in the world at this?
But they kept going
and they were playing
and, you know,
they kind of got it.
I was like, that's cool.
And I was like,
you know, something else
you might be able to do
is the Imperial March,
you know, Darth Vader's theme song.
Because it's like...
So I was trying to work it out.
Yeah.
So I was singing in my head.
And August is like, you know, there's another way of doing that.
I was like, oh, what is that?
And she's like, nerd, nerd, nerd, nerd, nerd, nerd, nerd, nerd.
I was like... The two? Wow. She's like, yeah, nerd, nerd, nerd, nerd, nerd, nerd, nerd. I was like.
The two?
Wow.
She's like, yeah, you say because you're a nerd because you like Star Wars
and Star Wars is for nerds.
I was like, for a start, who said that?
Because you're no longer allowed to watch them on YouTube
or talk to them at school or wherever you heard that.
Yeah.
Because Star Wars has never been spoken about in any other tone
apart from the highest.
Like not even Sade bags at home. She knows.
She knows how much you love it. She knows not to bag it.
But it is nerd burger
though, isn't it? It's a little bit. I think once
a certain point, like once you
cross a certain number of films.
Star Wars threshold. Yeah. Right.
You start buying merch and stuff. Yeah.
And you read like the novels and stuff. Yeah.
To get a taste for the wider
universe. I don't mind popping to the cinema and giving it a look.
Yeah.
We're going to love Mandalorian and stuff, but I'm not going to.
See?
Hey, hey, hey.
I'm not going to give figurines away.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We're talking about dating, and I feel like I've been reading lots about this,
that the dating world, of which I am no longer a part,
is dramatically going to be changing shape post-pandemic
or after lockdown because, you know,
single people have been locked inside for a year.
Especially in places like the UK and the US.
Only being able to communicate virtually
and via things like Zoom and FaceTime.
So there's a new term out on the dating scene at the moment
that is making a bit of a splash, and it's called honesty bombing,
which is not quite as dangerous as it seems.
Okay.
It is people are doing honesty bombs,
which is just the act of
being super upfront really early
on rather than kind
of playing it easy and
maybe eking things out. Okay.
And kind of changing who you
are to suit their
you know, like that might be. It's just coming out and being like
I've lost a year of this.
Like single people being like, I've lost a year of
potential love finding.
I don't have the time for small talk.
I don't have time to waste it.
I'm going to come out with the big things.
This is where I want to be in 10 years.
Do I want to have kids?
What do you think of marriage?
What do you think of religion?
What do you think about the vaccine?
And just getting all the political stuff
that you might sort of, you know, leave to a bit later.
On a first date?
Yeah. Wow. So do you want to later. On a first date? Yeah.
Wow.
So do you want to have kids on a first date?
Yeah.
They're saying, like, no faff.
No time for faff.
We've lost a year.
We're all getting older.
Yeah, right.
Oh, totally get that.
Yeah.
So they did some research and found that 69% of single people
are done with game playing.
You know, like, oh, I won't text.
I won't text them back because I don't want to come
on too strong and they're waiting to be like, he hasn't
texted me. It's like, nah, if I want to talk to you
I'm going to send you a text. Yeah.
72% say they are emerging from lockdown
ready to be more honest and upfront.
And 82% said they are
totally keen to be completely
transparent on a first date.
So, yeah, first
date conversations can now from like,
what do you do for a living?
Like, do you have any siblings?
Yeah.
How much do you earn?
Can I have some?
Do you suffer from any mental health issues?
Your views on getting married, et cetera.
Wow.
I guess you're going to save time, right?
It's coming in hot, isn't it?
It is.
Would you appreciate that though?
I would. When I was that, though? I would.
When I was dating, I hated game playing.
I hated the like, oh, no, I won't text him.
I don't want to seem too keen, all that kind of stuff.
Yeah.
I think I would definitely be more unapologetic about what I wanted.
What about you, Fletch, as the show's person in the dating scene?
Are you going to continue to just lie?
What do you mean lie?
I'll be like, oh, no, you've got to leave.
I'm out of town for business for the next week.
Don't contact me.
I was out of town for business for a few days.
I'm married.
Please never call me again.
I've never said that.
It's a good one, though.
You can use that if you want.
I get that.
Sorry, I forgot I'm married.
Never call me again.
We shouldn't be doing this. I'm married. My wife's not happy about this at all. My fictitious wife. Yeah, she's pissed, thanks. Sorry, I forgot I'm married. Never call me again. We shouldn't be doing this.
My wife's not happy about this at all.
My fictitious wife.
Yeah, she's pissed, man.
Well, at least it'll get them out of the apartment.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
Stepping up to the podium for the 10th year in a row,
your gold medalist.
Where's my medal?
Where's my medal? Where's my medal?
Where we celebrate those small
achievements in life. Those things you do.
Maybe you say to your partner, hey,
I emptied the dishwasher and they don't care.
How dare they?
Maybe your partner's coming home from four
weekends, four days
away and you cleaned the
entire house last night.
Did you? I changed the sheets. I put
new linen sheets on. Oh yeah.
I bet he doesn't even notice.
Wait, new linen sheets?
Yeah. Well, we'll talk later about linen sheets.
I'm interested. I like changing up the sheets
every now and then. Kat joins us. Kat,
why do you deserve a medal?
Hi guys. I just want to say
I'm a long-time listener, first-time caller.
Oh, long-time listener. Always good to hear from the long-time listeners. Welcome to the show, Kat. I just want to say I'm a long-time listener, first-time caller. Yay! Long-time listeners. Always good to hear from the long-time listeners.
Welcome to the show, Kat.
Welcome.
Thank you.
Thank you.
The LTL FTCs.
Yeah.
So we had our in-laws, Robin and Grant, coming to stay a couple of weeks ago.
So we thought we'd clean up the property.
We cleaned out our drawers and we had about three rubbish bags between us full of clothing.
Oh, yeah.
We put the clothes in the bag.
We put the bags in the car,
and within the hour, they're at the clothing bin.
What?
No, no, no.
You've got to let them rest.
You've got to let them brew.
You've got to let them ferment and mature in the boat or the garage.
Yeah.
This is one of Aaron's pet peeves with me, Kat,
is I will always do this.
I'm a real clothes buyer,
and I'll try to do a cleanse and a purge,
and then I'll just sit in that boot for, honestly, six months.
Well, you've got to find a clothing bin.
I know, and then you're like,
well, just go to the Sal's or the Vinny's or something.
Sal's Pizza and I'm on your rock, right?
They've got enough to deal with.
They've got garlic knots.
I'm just going in and keep dumbing bags in there.
You've got the wrong idea.
You've got the wrong sales, mate.
They might use them as rags.
All right, Kat, wait there.
Our medal ceremony minutes away.
Candice, why do you deserve a medal?
So I reached 40 weeks pregnant over the weekend
and I had my own shoelaces.
Wow.
You must be ready to pop.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
She's pretty happy at the moment.
She's got no signs of moving.
What was the process to reach your feet then?
Oh, you don't want to know.
You don't want to know.
It was almost like a wide squat, foot up on the bed,
trying all angles to try my converses up.
Oh, and not a comfortable shoe for 40 weeks pregnant.
Yeah.
Wow.
But, you know, you've got to get it.
Bidding to the cause.
Yeah, exactly.
If I was almost a mum now, I'd say a croc would be totally acceptable.
Totally.
All right, Candice, I'll wait there for our medal ceremony.
Corinda, good morning.
Good morning, guys.
How are you guys doing?
Good.
Now what do you deserve a medal for?
I'm, like, not the most organized person ever,
but I managed to organize myself enough to meal prep for this week.
Oh, my gosh.
And there have been, like, healthy meals.
Yeah, yeah, but by Friday you'll be
like, yuck, I'm not eating you. You're five days old.
Also, can I just say,
Kat, that's amazing. I do the same.
My stuff just sits there for a week.
Yeah, same. This is the first
time I've ever had one person call in for
where's my medal and
give praise to another caller.
I was so shocked.
I was like, oh my gosh, because I literally did that last week
and there's still my floor.
Yeah, mine are literally in the boot.
Yeah.
This is a real trio,
Kat, Candice and Corinda.
Yeah.
All right, so meal prep for the week.
What did you make?
Some roasted vegetables and some sausages.
It's kind of healthy.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Well, good luck getting through that this week.
Sausages can be healthy.
I just actually saw a meme.
Not good sausages.
No.
If they're healthy sausages, they're dry.
Sausage must have a high fat content.
A very high fat content.
Yeah.
I just saw a meme.
It was meal prep for the week, and it was like five plastic containers for lunch, and
inside was money, and the first one was labelled McDonald's, and then the next one.
Maybe it's McDonald's. Yeah. It takes way less time. Tuesday sushi.
Alright, it's time now for our medal ceremony.
Let me just check with my fellow
judges if they're happy with this. Sorry, I've only got a
highlighter to write in that might be slightly hard
to read. All good? Yeah.
Alright. And our bronze medal this morning
for prepping a meal for
every day this week, including
delicious sausages. Probably
dropped a medal when she gave
praise to another contestant.
But, you know, and then almost
got another medal place for the modesty
and being, you know, such a good sports
person. Corinda, today's bronze medal winner.
Thank you so much, guys.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
In silver.
She's about to have a baby.
A baby.
A baby.
Vaughn just finished Schitt's Creek yesterday,
so now baby must always be said like,
baby.
Baby.
Candice, your shoe tying endeavours
are making people who aren't even pregnant angry
because I have to put my foot up on someone at a time,
a shoe anyway, because my flexibility is zero.
Congratulations.
Congratulations on tying your shoes at 40 weeks.
Thanks, guys.
And good luck.
Thank you.
Good luck for the bebe.
Bebe.
Have fun having a bebe.
Which can mean a gold medal today can only go to one person.
A person who was like, A, I'm going to clean.
Yeah.
B, I'm going to put them in a bag.
Yeah, good.
C, I'm going to put them in my car.
And then D, I'm going to deal with them all within hours.
This is usually a process that takes months, if not years.
Unheard of.
Congratulations.
Today's gold medal goes to Kat
for her clothes
disposal escapade.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
And I just want to say
Robin and Grant,
if you're listening,
their house is always that clean,
isn't it Soph?
Yes.
Right, yes.
Yes.
Robin and Grant,
what a couple of
in-laws names there.
From the mighty Taranaki.
Yes, the mighty. We won't hold there. From the mighty Taranaki.
Yes, the mighty Naki. Hold that against them.
The mighty Naki.
All right, well done.
Flesh, Vaughan and Megan.
The podcast.
ZM.
I had a very social weekend.
And on Saturday, a bit of a mishap happened.
I will say on Saturday, I had already been out on Friday.
So I was a little bit.
We had drinks on Friday, didn't we?
We had drinks, yeah.
We're proper friends now.
And then after I left your drinks,
I went to more drinks.
Right.
And then on to another bar.
Right.
Saturday was tough.
Saturday was tough.
Ready to admit it's a problem yet?
Or we're just still...
No, no, no.
Okay, no, no, no.
When you're ready, when you're ready.
No, no, no.
No hurry.
And I woke up on Saturday at 10.30
and I had a PT session at 11.
I was like, well, it's too late to cancel.
And I had to go and get my ass whooped by my PT.
And then I felt quite good afterwards.
Had some lunch, burned the roof of my mouth.
Got home.
How did you burn the roof of your mouth?
Karagi chicken with Madeline Sarby.
Karagi chicken, karagi, karagi?
Is that how you say it? I've always said karagi. Karagi chicken. Karagi. Karagi? Is that how you say it?
I've always said Karagi.
Karagi.
No, it's Karajay, isn't it?
Karajay.
Yes, the Japanese French dish.
Can somebody please tell me how to pronounce that?
Didn't Josh ever tell us?
It's Karagi.
Karagi.
Oh, okay, right.
You say it how you think it should not be said.
But they're hot pockets of the seal, the hayton, don't they?
Yeah, and it was one of those, like, it just all comes,
like, we just got lots of small dish and it comes out the same time.
It comes out whenever it's ready and it comes out hot.
And I did that, got home, and then I had tickets to Jersey Boys.
And I was going to be meeting up with four of my friends
to have some drinks before we went to Jersey Boy to get some drinks.
And then, so I got ready really quickly,
looked flash as,
and then I put my keys in the back door
because it's like an old-fashioned lock,
you know, like a big skinny, skinny key.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, put it in there,
hung out some washing on the line,
re-locked that.
And now I never take my keys out of
my handbag, really, because Aaron's usually
home, but he's been away this weekend.
And my car, you don't need to bring the keys
out to get in and lock it and all that kind of stuff.
So, then I ordered
my Uber, smashed back a rosé.
A bottle.
No,
just a little two-serve.
And then the Uber was like, I'm here
and I just went, yes, good night
out, closed the door behind me and the minute I
heard, so this was the front door which is a bolt
you know like a chick chick.
The minute I heard it click I was like
you don't have your keys do you?
You don't
have your keys. I was already running
late, I was supposed to meet my friends at 5.30, this is
now 6.30 that this is happening. I was supposed to meet my friends at 5.30. This is now 6.30 that this is happening.
I was like, oh my God.
The guy in the Uber's like,
I've already been waiting five minutes
for you to finish your rosé.
Get in the car.
So I got in the car and I was like,
I'm just going to leave this for drunk Hayley to deal with.
I'm a big fan of that
because when you're drunk
and you really want to go to bed,
you're quite resourceful.
Yeah, absolutely.
And I was like, worse comes to worse, Aaron's got one of those utes.
I could have just clipped the ute open and slept in the tray.
Oh, I thought you were going to say, get the ute, tie a rope to the door,
and then just yank the door off.
And I didn't want to break a window, you know, because that's always a mess.
And if I had had a few drinks on board, Lord knows I'd end up in hospital.
Yeah.
So I went into town just sort of like,
well, this is going to be a very interesting evening.
Then I had a few drinks with my friends at the pub
and I told them what had happened.
They were like, what are you going to do?
I was like, I don't know.
And my mum was like, why don't you text Erina,
my marching coach,
because she lives sort of heading towards west
and see what she's up to.
And so just as I was going in,
a little tiddly at this point,
I was texting my friend Erin,
like, I need your help.
This is what's happened.
And then just happened
that she was out at dinner
with someone who's a property manager
and knows a locksmith and sent him over.
Get out.
Yeah.
Because I didn't want to send a locksmith
over with no one there
because then they might break into my house.
Imagine me being like, oh, yeah, go into my house.
I'm not there.
Find my keys.
They're to the Mazda out front.
Feel free to take that.
Yeah.
Go through all my knickers.
Yeah.
So I was in the show and I was, honestly,
I'm probably a bottle deep at this point just thinking,
what's going to happen?
And I just get a text from Erin being like,
the keys are in the boot out front because Erin had his boots
out the front of the house. Wow.
And it sorted it. So when I got home at
1.30 in the morning with my McDonald's in my
hand, I went straight
inside to the warmth of my home.
Yeah, but it was a bit of a nightmare. I love
that my immediate response was
just to let my alter ego
drunk Hayley deal with it later.
She's very resourceful. Yeah. Well, she got away with
murder that time. She killed that person.
Technically, it's not you.
Are we live?
Can we edit this out?
Yeah, we'll edit this out.
Yeah, we'll edit it out.
But I wanted to ask, just because it was such a, you know, there's so many steps to getting
back into your house once you've locked yourself out.
We want to know your lockout stories.
When's it happened at a terrible time?
How'd you get back in?
Yeah, maybe like you say, like you didn't break the window,
but some people would.
Maybe that ended up costing heaps,
but also you injure yourself even more.
I've had another lockout.
The last time I got locked out of my house,
me and Aaron had just gone and bought a massive TV
and a sound system.
We turned up back home like, oh no, no one has the keys.
So we had to sit on the doorstep with a TV
and we ordered a pizza and a bottle of wine.
Ah, there's wine again.
For anyone keeping count of how often now
Dear Friend Wine's been involved in these stories of mishap.
I'm drinking a peppermint tea now, so it's all reverse.
Yeah, I'm doing all the damage.
So 0800 dials at M9696.
You can text in or call.
Do you have a lockout story?
Maybe you got caught, maybe the police turned up
because your neighbours thought you were breaking in to your own house.
Oh, yeah, that's a goodie.
Bet you that's happened.
I locked myself out on the way out for a big night.
My friend Erin came to the rescue and I made it in safe after many...
With a locksmith.
With a locksmith.
It's not what you know, it's who you know. It is indeed.
So we wanted to hear your
locked out stories, be it car
or home or... Yeah, always
at the worst possible moment as well.
It's never convenient to be locked out. This is why
my friend down the road has a spare set
of my keys. Yeah, I'm gonna...
So if I ever get locked out, I've got his.
So you can go into his house.
So I can just be like, yeah.
I am Vaughn, and no, Vaughn's got go into his house. So I can just be like, yeah. What if you lost his one?
And Vaughn's got a set as well.
Yeah, I'm definitely going to do this.
But that's primarily for when you die in a mysterious situation.
I have to come around and clear the internet history,
burn a few vital documents,
shift things around so it doesn't look quiet like you died in it.
Get whoever's on the bed out.
Yeah.
I assume they've gone.
I assume they ran in terror.
Yeah, clear everything from the second drawer in the bedside table.
Yeah, second drawer in the bedside table.
That was coming with me.
That's going in a black bag.
I'm wearing vinyl gloves while I'm doing all this.
Yeah, yeah.
Sure.
Lauren, you've locked yourself out?
Yes.
Okay.
How's it going, guys?
Good.
Always at the worst possible time.
What was happening?
So we had been at a lovely wedding.
Oh, no.
On a Sunday.
It was an afternoon, well, like an early afternoon wedding.
But me and my partner were actually in the bride and groom party.
So we'd been doing that for the morning.
Doing the duties.
And then, obviously, getting ready for the wedding and having a few lemonades.
And then throughout the reception and everything as well,
we obviously decided to leave our cars there.
No communication about anything.
We just jumped in an Uber and off we went.
Stopped at a pub on the way home and then walked back
and got home and realised that we had both left our keys in the car.
So neither of us had our keys on us.
Oh, no.
Did anyone blame anyone?
Or were you both?
Oh, no.
Okay, yeah, because I'd still probably blame the other person.
No, it was actually just very funny.
So I toddled off next door in my state.
Yeah, right. And went to the
new neighbour and knocked on the door and asked
him if he had some tools so I could break into my own house.
What time of day
was this?
When were you in?
It was about 4.30 on a Sunday.
Oh, okay.
Hello, me, look for
next per.
Lauren, thanks, you're cool.
Kelly, you tried to break into your own house? Yes, yes, I did. Lauren, thanks. You called Kelly.
You tried to break into your own house?
Yes, yes, I did.
So I lost my house key a few weeks before this happened,
but I just couldn't be bothered finding it or getting a new one because I was really lazy.
So I left my bedroom window open, which is a really small window,
and I can really fit into it on a good day.
So I just finished
night shift.
So I was in high-vis.
This was like 6 o'clock in the morning.
So I had to climb through my window
like I've been doing for weeks.
And then as this time around, as I was
climbing through my window, I look up,
cross my neighbour's, a neighbour I've never
met before.
I just shoot him a thumbs up and he just has a really sketchy thumbs up and looks at
me, and he says, are you okay?
And I'm like, yeah, I'm all good, just breaking into my own house.
And you're in high-vis, which lets you get away with anything.
Yeah, if you had a white ute with a flashy orange light on top of it, they would have
let you take the whole house.
Yeah, wouldn't have even batted an eyelid.
Thanks, you're cool, Callie.
Some messages.
My parents changed the locks
and forgot to give me a key.
That's bullshit.
This is your parents
weren't telling you
it's time to move
the hell out of home.
I sat outside
for three hours
waiting for someone
to come home.
When I got inside,
I realised the back door
was open the whole time.
Somebody said,
we were toilet training
our puppy,
all got locked outside
at 5am in the middle of winter.
Oh, no.
That would have been one of those situations.
You take the dog out.
You take the dog out.
You take the dog out.
We'll both do it then.
And then you walk out and click and you're like,
we should have one of us not come.
This is everybody's fault.
Somebody said in a flat we had a loose floorboard.
So the rule was if we got locked out,
the skinny guy had to climb under the house and boot loose floorboard. So the rule was if we got locked out, the skinny guy had to climb under the house
and boot the floorboard up.
And then he was the only one skinny enough
to fit between one lot of floorboards.
And he could get in and let the rest of us in.
This flat doesn't sound airtight, does it?
It sounds very dry.
Sounds very cold.
I was going to say how do you get past the insulation,
but there wasn't any.
Yeah, and it doesn't even sound like it was a tongue
and groove flooring situation if you could boot it out.
Somebody else said, got locked out of my house
while my now-husband was on a stag do.
Had to go to town to find him to get his keys.
Yeah, likely story.
Someone just wanted to do a mid-stag do check-in.
Right?
Yeah.
You just checking in on it at the strippers?
Yeah.
Good.
I need to come and get the keys.
Where shall I meet you guys?
And they're like, okay, guys, it's time to leave the strippers.
She's on her way in.
We'll come back.
We'll come back.
Save our table.
We're just going to go to that pub next door and try to act sober for half an hour.
Somebody said, oh, God, one of those people who know best.
Get one of those lock boxes on the side of your house where you keep your spare keys.
Yeah, I know.
You know, like a bike lock.
Come on it.
I was going to say, because when I've had a. Yeah, I know. You know, with like a bike lock combo on it. Because, I was going to say,
because when I've had a few drinks, I come home,
I want to remember a four-digit code.
Make it the same as your PIN number.
Oh, so one, two, three, four.
Yeah.
Nice and easy.
Nice and easy.
You'll never forget it.
Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast.
ZM.
Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.
Today's fact of the day is about Mayday's less urgent cousin.
Mayday. Mayday. Mayday. Mayday.
Mayday.
Mayday.
Mayday.
Mayday.
We've lost both engines.
Mayday.
Mayday.
Coming in, landing gear's not working.
Mayday.
Mayday.
Can I get a trim flat white please?
That would be a good way to let the weight stuff you know you're ready.
Mayday.
Mayday.
Mayday. We aren't eating.
So mayday is like big trouble with mayday, right?
If you say mayday, it's like life is in danger.
It's the – so the vessel itself could be breaking in half.
Yep.
A Titanic's like mayday, mayday, mayday.
We're going up.
The way boats shouldn't go.
Vertical.
Is it any transport?
Or is it either,
because I always thought
it was just planes,
but it's boats too.
It's anything.
It's boats, ships,
aircrafts, vehicles.
Well, a train could send it
to Mayday if it was like
coming off the track.
Yeah, right.
If it was off the track.
Yeah.
But this is about Mayday's less urgent cousin, Pan Pan.
Pan Pan.
Pan Pan.
Pan Pan.
Pan Pan.
Because that's the other thing.
You've got to say this.
You've got to say Mayday, Mayday, Mayday.
You've got to say it three times.
Yeah.
Pan Pan.
Pan Pan.
Pan Pan.
Pan Pan.
Pan Pan.
Pan Pan.
Oh, not Pan three times.
No, Pan Pan.
It's not Pan.
Okay. Pan Pan is equal to not pan three times. No, pan, pan. It's not pan. Okay.
Pan, pan is equal to mayday.
Right.
I have heard that on Air Crash Investigation.
You know, my favourite show.
Have you?
I was wondering if you had.
Right.
So it comes from the French word pain, which is like breakdown.
Bread.
Pan.
Pan.
What's that bakery?
P-A-I-N?
P-A-H-N.
Oh.
What's that French bakery that I've been to that's got a pan?
That's a pan de chocolat.
Oh, okay.
Pan de chocolat.
All right.
That's a breakdown because you are having an emotional breakdown,
so you need a pan de chocolat, chocolate for your breakdown.
Yum.
And it's like a mechanical failure, but it's not as in like urgent,
like someone's going to die.
Okay.
Pan pan is for when you are wildly inconvenienced,
but it doesn't pose immediate danger to anybody's life
or the vessel's stability or continued existence.
Right.
So it might be like in an air crash investigation,
it would be like if one engine went out,
but the plane had the ability to land on one engine.
Right.
So it had one engine remaining.
So if one engine explodes, you don't say mayday.
Not unless you believe it's going to catch the end.
But if it just stopped working and there was no fire.
Like if they shut it down as a precaution, that would be, yeah.
Pan pan.
That's a pan pan.
Pan pan, pan pan.
Pan pan, pan pan, pan pan.
Yeah.
So you say pan pan three times and then you've got to say who you are pan, pan,
like who you're wanting to tell.
So it could be like pan, pan, pan, pan, pan, pan,
all stations, all stations, all stations.
So that's just letting everybody on possible,
with impossible radio communications
let you know that this is the situation
where you might be like specifically like
Auckland Airport Tower, Auckland Airport Tower, Auckland Airport Tower.
It's the same with Mayday.
When you say Mayday, you've got to say who that Mayday is specifically for.
But you say it three times and then three times.
So if you ever like...
Why three times?
Everything three times.
You're running out of time.
The plane's going down.
Yeah.
If you've got to say Auckland International Airport Plane Tower,
Auckland International Airport Plane Tower. Auckland International Airport plane tower. Auckland International Airport plane tower.
Auckland International Airport plane tower.
Say that three times and then do what you're going to do.
I'm not good under pressure.
I'd just be screaming.
Same.
We're coming down.
What's the pan pan pan pan?
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
Say pan pan.
Pan pan.
There's no time for that now.
Say pan pan three times.
Pan pan pan pan pan pan. Okay. Now, who is that for that now. Say Panpan three times. Panpan, Panpan, Panpan, Panpan.
Okay, now who is that for?
You, you, you.
I've got a name.
That's the cat's mother.
I've forgotten your name.
Please.
Oh, well.
I guess it was more of a Mayday than a Panpan after all.
Yeah.
So they're all dead now.
So today's fact of the day is Mayday has a slightly less dramatic cousin called Pan Pan.
Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.
I'm a bit of a chore lover, actually, I will say. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
I'm a bit of a chore lover, actually, I will say.
Things like unloading the dishwasher or giving the place a vacuum.
I don't mind a chore or two.
I prefer somebody else to it.
I get so sidetracked with chores.
Like I'll start opening the dishwasher and I'll see something else
and I'll wander away from it.
Yes, oh my God, this is literally me last night.
I'm so bad at it.
I just need to concentrate.
I had like stations of stuff.
Like the bathroom was a mess.
I had washing to fold.
I had the dishwasher to do.
I had dirty takeaways out on the bench and I kept on like doing half of a job
and then going to something else.
Well, if you need some inspiration as to why you might need to do your chores
if you're not such a fan of them, especially for older people,
especially for you seniors out there,
researchers in Toronto have found that adults in particular,
and particularly older adults who perform household chores,
have larger brains, which is a key measure of good cognitive health.
I wouldn't have ever thought that had anything to do with it.
Why?
Why?
So it's about
keeping physical
and like the
coordination of moving your
body and thinking about things.
Right.
It's about being less sedentary.
You can get a good sweat up doing the chores.
Yeah.
If you're going at pace.
Yeah, it's about, because especially as we get older,
we do a lot more sitting and a lot more kind of going home
and putting our feet up and like, that's the end of the day.
Well, maybe that's what all the retired baby boomers can do.
What, a Jim's Mowing franchise?
No, like a...
But a chores version.
Yeah, but a chores version.
They can do the chores for the people who are busy.
Granny chores.
Come over to your house and do your chores.
And they just come over and they're keeping themselves mentally fit.
Yeah.
They're cleaning your house.
Yeah.
And I mean...
A little bit of pocket money?
I imagine it's a little bit of pocket money.
Yeah.
So anything, cleaning, because obviously cleaning, yeah, I'm the same.
We always start cleaning in a jumper and you take it off.
Making the bed, always get a sweat up.
Cleaning, cooking, going outside, working the yard.
It all helps with the low-intensity aerobic exercise,
which benefits your heart and your brain, makes your brain larger.
Well, my nan's 87 next month.
And she still does everything herself.
And is her place spick and span? It's pretty tidy. Well, my nan's 87 next month, and she still does everything herself. And is her place spick and span?
It's pretty tidy.
Yeah, right.
But, you know, she's also, when you drop in unannounced,
she's like, sorry, the place is a mess, but there's nothing.
It's like, not a mess, but she's really apologetic.
There's like an envelope on the counter.
Oh, my God.
This place is a shambles.
I haven't vacuumed for two hours.
I do apologize.
There's dust.
There's dust everywhere.
She does her lawns and everything.
Wow.
I asked her if she had one of those self-propelled lawnmowers.
You know the ones you pull the thing that kind of drives itself?
Yeah.
She said they're shit.
She has absolutely no basis for that.
She just, that's what she believes.
Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.
The podcast.
ZM.
Bluff or stuff.
Snow lying edition.
Yeah, bluff or stuff.
We've played bluff or stuff quite a bit in the past.
This is the Snow Lying Edition.
Now, one of us is holding a snowboard.
Now, if you can tell us which one of us is actually holding the snowboard,
and we're all going to tell you that we're holding it,
you win a five-day multi-pass to Kadrona Alpine Resort or Treble Cone.
Reliable snow, fewer closed days.
You can ski your heart out from only $75 a day.
Say aliens, April 30th.
I just want to remind you that I have a degree in acting.
Lying is actually my profession.
Right, and we're just big liars.
Just love sitting.
Yeah, it's hard. Right, and whereas we're just big liars. Just a lot of fibbing.
Yeah, it's hard.
Also, there's a new chairlift and Willow's Terrain in Soho at Kadrona,
and I'm like, why is it called Willow's?
I looked it up.
Do you know why it's called Willow's?
Why?
Because that movie Willow, the really old cult classic movie Willow,
was filmed there.
I watched it. It was filmed there. It was filmed there. Oh, did you know that was filmed there?
It was filmed there, so it was the area where it was filmed
has now opened up. It's like 65
hectares of new area.
I did the dirt biking at Kadrona over summer.
That was so much fun.
The little low-lying trike.
Do you have to be a good dirt biker?
No, I've got zero skills at all.
Wow.
All coordination. I loved it. So great.
All right.
Holly joins us.
Good morning, Holly.
Morning.
Morning.
All right.
So let's start.
Vaughan, would you like to start?
Yeah.
You've just got to pick, Holly, which one of us is actually holding the snowboard.
I'm holding this.
Okay, cool.
Holly, I'm holding the snowboard because it's my snowboard.
It's a Burton 158.
That's the length of it.
I used to ride a 164 when I first got into snowboarding.
The Burton Bullet, it was like a bloody tank of a thing to roll down the hill on.
But a 158, a little bit shorter, about right for a guy of my height and weight.
Yep.
Okay.
It's got bindings on it.
The bindings are like the toe kick bindings.
I haven't used it for a long time.
And on the bottom here, there's a big scrape from where I hit a rock once.
Any more questions about the snowboard I'm holding?
You know that there's a scratch there because you can see it.
I mean, it is your snowboard.
It is my snowboard.
But I'm holding it.
Okay. Holly, I'm holding it and I can tell you my snowboard. But I'm holding it. Okay. Holly,
I'm holding it and I can tell you it is very
heavy and I'm holding it with my hands.
It's very heavy. And famously,
snowboards aren't meant to be heavy.
They aren't. That is quite heavy. You're weak.
He's weak. I don't know. I've never
really, I've only snowboarded a couple of times and I
don't own a snowboard, but this is quite heavy.
You're calling me fat.
I'm a soldier.
And if you listen, you can hear the bindings.
Can you hear the bindings?
Shaking the...
Can you hear that?
I just heard the binding against the mic.
That's what bindings sound like.
He said the board was heavy and then he was shaking the bindings.
The bindings are attached to the board.
Both of you are absolutely full of it
because I am holding the snowboard
and it's getting dust
all over my fingers, which I think
means that Vaughn hasn't used
it for quite some time.
It was used...
Sorry, I've breathed in some of the dust
because I'm actually holding it.
I'm holding it.
Actually, the dust on that board is
the dust that came off the tree stump
I chainsawed up to make Fletcher's anniversary gift,
which is in the corner of the studio.
Yeah, I can see that because I'm holding it.
It's got a bit of rust happening as well.
And, yeah, I would say it's not that heavy.
Nah, it's light.
Well, I'm holding it and I think it's pretty heavy.
Neither of them are holding it. I'll be the judge of that.
Alright, Holly.
Yes.
You've got a question?
Oh yeah, go on. I do, I do.
Fletch, you said it's heavy.
Where does it feel
that it's the heaviest?
Well, I'm kind of holding it like
I've got one hand on the top
and one on the middle, and I just...
Put it horizontally.
Put it horizontally.
Oh, yeah, it's all right.
It's all right, I guess.
God damn, you're not getting an acting degree with that.
Terrible.
Yeah, no, it's enough for me.
Hayley's going for the undersell.
Are you eliminating me, Holly?
Yes, I am.
Okay.
So, you think Vaughn or Hayley is holding the snowboard?
Who is holding it?
I think Hayley.
What makes you think that?
Don't forget I've got a degree in acting.
I'm a master BS.
I'm a liar.
I just think that Vaughn filibustered too much.
Like, he definitely put his arms...
That is Vaughn's motto for radio, for work.
He just comes into work and filibusters.
I just keep talking.
Hey, Holly, do you hear this?
Yeah.
It's me shaking it because I'm holding it.
Holly, congratulations.
Well done.
A five-day multi-pass to Katrona Alpine Resort or Treble Cone.
It's all yours.
Congratulations.
Amazing.
Thanks so much, guys.
All right.
Well done.
And you can head to the Kadrona website and ski your heart out for only $75 a day.
Sale ends on April 30.
Hayley might be holding it, but she's got no idea how to lean it up so it doesn't fall over.
We're having a bit of trouble with it here, Holly.
We're going to pass every day as well to give away, so if you want to win like Holly, it'll
be back tomorrow.
Bluff or snuff.
Bluff or...
Stuff.
What?
Bluff or stuff.
That's a different game.
That's a different game.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
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ZM.