ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 19th January 2021

Episode Date: January 18, 2021

$9000 Nosejob  Top 6: Djokovic  Community Notices!  Vaughan's Lime  Great start to the year!  Nathan Evans: Shanty'Tok  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!What did you watch with your Parents?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Buy five McCafe coffees, get one free on the Maccas app. We're just talking World Expos. Yeah. Well, you dropped in that your friend is working in Dubai on the World Expo. He'll be listening, Tim Nuttall, hello, hello. And he's over there working on the World Expo that was supposed to happen, I believe, October last year. He's been over there for over a year now.

Because I feel like growing up, there was always like these big world expos and I never really knew what they were. I just remember it was like a city getting the Olympics. They'd go all out. This is like, you should see the buildings they have built in Dubai for this thing. There's huge centres and shopping things and restaurants. It's incredible. But what happens?

Well, I think, I don't know. Are there stalls? Tim, I'm so sorry. But it's basically like... Is there a home baking stall? Every country has a... It's not a stall. It's not like a trestle table with some local produce.

Yeah. It's bigger than that, but you have like an area where you can promote what your country does. I'd imagine we have a trestle table it's got some manuka honey on it yeah but a bit of baby powder yeah yeah and that's it and a bungee jump and some marmite so i never wonder what's in a bungee jump called in the cross section of it yeah that'll be maybe the activity you can do there and it's like try our honey and our marmite and then jump off a bridge because i remember in 1988 my granddad went my

grandparents went to the in brisbane the world expo right and i can i don't know world expo 88 i just looked it up um it was a 625 million dollar fair it was the largest event of the year. It attracted more than 15.5 million visitors who bought tickets that totaled more than $175 million Australian dollars. It had great attendances. It was used to promote Queensland as a tourist destination. It spurred a major redevelopment of the South Bank in Brisbane. Yeah. But the whole thing was leisure in the age of technology.

Yeah. Wow, okay so and they have like a whole area like so if you look here this is the oman pavilion oh wow and you would build your own whole thing you know like it's not just a little come and check us out you build whole areas that kind of show your culture and your country and what you do i think that's what i understand it to be and they're ginormous. Crazy. There's a website for it, but it happened before the web. The 1988 one, that is.

Right, okay. Celebrate the World Expo in 1988. So this at the World Expo, I love that I'm going to promo it. So the World Expo, guys, get out there. In Dubai, October 21. There you go. They built a monorail in Brisbane for the expo Yeah, they built whole towns

Yeah, right, everybody wanted a monorail, eh? Is it an excuse to get all these facilities? Maybe, yeah Is it a way to do it and then people come immediately Who pays for it? I I don't know It's very

At the 1988 World Expo, West Germany had a sound-sensitive fountain installed. Wow. So what, you'd go down to West Germany and be like, all's forgiven? Maybe. Because this was before the wall came down. And then you were like, I can't hear that fountain. What? Was it a sound-sensitive?

No, it was sensitive to sound. Oh, right, okay. It wasn't for people who were sensitive to sound. I thought they'd invented a fountain that you couldn't hear and it was quiet. Shh, listen to this. In 1988, I found this is the most popular pavilion was the New Zealand Pavilion.

I bet it was. With its animated flat show and glowworm cave. Did we dig some glowworms Out of White Dormall I think it just would have been Pretend glowworms Okay But Yeah and there was an octopus

Called Expo Oz Why What the fuck Was going on I was not excited For the World Expo But I am now I'm fizzing

I'm trying to get to Dubai In October When's it October 21 Till March 22 I don't even think The Olympics are going to happen, are they? Like they're saying the Olympics are meant to be in July.

Qantas came out yesterday and said no travel to the end of the year. And Tokyo's still hoping to host them, eh? Yeah. How are they going? I mean, I guess what? You get all the athletes immunised. But what's the Olympics without an audience? And then you've got to have the officials, All the volunteers, tens of thousands of them.

Yeah. All quarantined. That's not happening, is it? No, but hopefully the World Expo is. For your friend's sake alone. Yeah, good on you, Tim. Fingers crossed. Tim's been over there for fuck knows how long.

All the hours. Does Tim have any free pens? I'd imagine there'll be free pens. Hey, Nuts, can you send us some pens, please? Yeah, some World Expo pens and some stationery. Yeah, that'd be nice. We want some merch. I want a hookup.

If we can't get tickets to this thing, I want merch at least. Get that merch. ZM. Pin music. Lives here. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Rach.

Two minutes past six. Yeah, I've gone, Rach. Day two, I don't know if you can call a newsreader, Rach. Two minutes past six. Yeah, I've gone, Rach. I've shortened it. I don't know if you can call a newsreader Rach. You're not Simon Dallow calling Andrew Saville Sav. Sav. How long do you think it took him to call him Sav? I reckon a while.

There's a real grumpy vibe there with the Sav. All right, well, thank you, Rachel Jackson-Lees. Much better. I like to keep it formal. Yeah. RJL. Maybe I'll. Yeah. RJL. Maybe I'll say thanks, RJL. Now she sounds like a furniture store.

She sounds like Robert Downey Jr. She sounds like something you need to call someone after a night out. You know, I've got the old RJL. Oh, yeah. You might want to get that looked at. I don't know if it's viral or bacterial, but you'll want to pop down to your doctor For a course or something To fix up the old RJLs

The top six is on the way Novak Djokovic Famed anti-vaxxer And guy that threw party And had all attendees get COVID-19 Is in Australia for the Australian Open The tennis And he has made a list of demands

To which he has been told to piss off for every single one of them. Because all the tennis players are going for the Australian Open. Were they, they weren't meant to quarantine? A whole bunch of them came on a plane where like three people on there had COVID-19. So now

they all have to quarantine. And the New Zealanders, there's like, I don't get what all the fuss is about. They've shown, there's been video footage of the tennis players with their tennis rackets in a hotel room, putting their mattress up against the wall and bashing the shit out of a tennis ball into like full serves into their mattress.

What kind of hotels are they staying in? Because I don't think I could even swing a racket in the Ibis. It's outrageous. Do you think that they've just played a solo sport too long and now that they're with each other, they're just freaking out at how to be around other people? I don't know. That or I guess they've got intense training schedules that they have to.

Yeah, one was doing lunges. Yeah, right. Doing cardio. I was like, I can understand that. And then the next video was this dude just serving into a mattress in the... Must have been, yeah, as you say, a larger hotel room than I'm accustomed to. Yeah, exactly.

Star treatment. Smash the light. Right. You check out, like, anything from the minibar, you're like, nope, no. But Novak's not happy. No, he's got a... put forward a list of demands and just got told to piss off. So I've got the top six Novak Djokovic demands. Oh, okay.

Soon in the top six. After eight on the show this morning, sea shanties on the agenda. We have managed to track down a Scottish. I was going to say Irish. A Scottish. He's very Scottish. A famous TikToker. He's the, Nathan Evans is his name,

and he's the guy that did the Wellerman song, which is the sea shanty that everybody's added to. There's been duets galore and kind of kicked off this. What do they call it? Shanty talk. Shanty talk. Yeah. And now it's branching out.

There's now shanty electro talk. Can you see that one? Yes. It's like. It's insane. It's like... Yeah. Insane. It's really good. I like it.

Well, he's on the show with us. We're going to chat to him about ten past eight this morning. Next on the show, though, a $9,000 thumb and nose job. That sounds cheap. Yeah. And you can't go international,

so how did they get those prices in New Zealand? I'll tell you next. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast, ZM. It's been a $9,000 nose job here in New Zealand. Okay. I don't know how much rhinoplasty usually costs. So, like, Google, how much is a nose job?

I reckon it's like five grand. But what are you getting done? $14,000 in New Zealand. Okay, I was well off. No surgery and reshaping. Rhinoplasty. Okay, but that's one of those ones where you go in because you say you can't breathe properly, eh?

Wink. You know when someone gets a nose job? Oh, I had to go in because my... A deviated septum. A deviated septum. That's what it is. Are we talking like a full Michael Jackson reconstruction or just a shave of the tip?

Oh, I don't know. I don't know. What do people get done? Because I know at the end of their careers, rugby players often have to go and get their ears done. Oh, yeah. I'd be getting my ears done if I was a rugby player because they go all cauliflower, don't they?

What do you do with that? Carve it out? You're supposed to do it as you go away. That's why they've got leeches. Remember? Oh, okay. Was it Japan at the end of the games? They put leeches on.

They'd whack a leech on each ear, and the leech would suck out the blood that would curdle. I've always been scared of leeches since that movie, Is It Stand By Me? Oh, yeah. You know, when they get stuck in the leech swamp? Yeah. And they come out and they're covered in leeches.

Here's another one. This is on a New Zealand rhinoplasty website. $17,000 to $18,000 total cost for a nose job. Far out. So you've got a nine, what, you're saying

this is a $9,000? This is a $9,000. That sounds like bargain prices to me. Yeah, and he got a new thumb. Oh, okay. A thumb and a nose. Thumb and a nose.

Imagine that deal being advertised. Get a nose job or chuck in a free thumb. It sounds like free thumb and a nose. A thumb and a nose. Imagine that deal being advertised. Get a nose job. We'll chuck in a free thumb. It sounds like... Free thumb. That's the kind of... Does anybody hate their thumb?

That would be the kind of deal on the back of a supermarket docket. Yeah. Do they still do those? Yeah. 30% off for a couple of nights at... Coupons. Coupons. A hotel in Rotorua on Fenton.

And a free thumb job when you get a nose job. I know, this guy's made of concrete so that might help. This is a statue of Sir George Grey in Auckland's Albert Park. It's just up the road

from your place. Oh, yep, okay. You walk that way home sometimes when uni's back in, don't you? No, I don't. Sort of a bit of window shopping.

You're out of control. A bit of overly educated window shopping. Are you hearing an overly educated window shopper. Are you hearing this? Absolute defamation. I'm choosing to ignore it, to be honest. Rich walks through, he's like, see, science is back, but the arts aren't.

Call me when... You are out of control. Call me when B-com students have decided to come back. Are they the hottest still, the B-coms? Vaughan Alan Smith. I don't know. I went to drama school. Everyone was sort of just mooching around the floor in stretchy clothing.

Yeah, a lot of cable knit carties. A lot of being a pancake, a lot of being in the ocean. We also shared the school with the school of dance as well. So it was just a lot of fluid, sort of moving people. What a nightmare. You just want to walk up the stairs and everybody's doing an interpretive climbing of something? A lot of sharing of energy in that building. Right.

Well, did you have a statue of George Grey? I didn't. Well, this guy got his nose knocked off during the Black Lives Matter protests. And there was all the colonial statues around the world were getting like pulled down. So he was what, an early Prime Minister or something? He was

Governor General during the initial stages of the New Zealand wars and he had red paint thrown on him. He had his nose knocked off and his thumb removed. Right. I say removed like someone was like I'll just remove the... Maybe someone got lobbed up. Because he's up on one of those plinths. Plinths? Plinth like I'll just remove the It was Smashed off Maybe someone got lobbed up

Because he's up on one of those Yeah Plinths Plinths Plinth I believe is the Is the term Okay And he got hit with something

And broke his thumb off So they fixed that up 9,000 seems a bit much Like surely that's something You could just roughly do What's he made of? This was the council They don't half-ass things

They had to get scaffolding And Oh right Maybe he had Quite a distinct nose as well, so it's really going to take someone a lot of time to craft it. Yeah, true. You know, he could have been wide in the nostril or...

No, he's got a narrow, pretty standard schnoz. You could save money on the thumb, just put a glove on. Or take off his big toe, because it's inside a boot anyway, you couldn't even see it. Just put a glove on. No one will notice. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Dunedin Scarfies.

You looked. Guys, it's my second day. I felt the rhythm and I lost it. I dropped it. You know what? Dunedin, it's not an experience I had, the Scarfy culture. It's not all partying, though. This Scarfy student

helped police find his lost phone. I love that this is the headline where I think he actually just used his iPhone tracker to hunt down someone who stole his phone and led police to the person's house. They turned up and then the guy just gave him the phone back.

Isn't that ridiculous? You don't steal phones. I know. You don't steal phones. I know. Like modern phones anymore, right? Yeah, why would you? Well, because they're all hooked up to the cloud. Yeah. But like, for example, my dad, he's got a relatively new phone, like a modern phone.

But I don't know for certain he's ever set up the tracker in it. Because you know how when you get an iPhone, you set up find my iPhone, and then if it's ever stolen, like if they ever turn it back on again, it pings and you find it. Yeah. I wonder, oh, I should do that, shouldn't I? You should set that up.

But mum's got a Huawei, so the Chinese government will find hers. That's not a problem. They know where she is at all times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've got a map of her house because she keeps it in her pocket and she walks around. But she still turns it off when she goes to bed.

So that's the main thing. Well, that's good the Chinese government won't know what she's up to during 9pm till... 3 till 7. 7am. Brilliant. She gives herself a sleep in.

You know this student, so he traced it to this person's house who had stolen it. He went over before he called the police, knocked on the door himself. He took the law into his own hands. Confronted him. Would you do that?

I would. I'd go and look at what the house looked like, and if it looked scary, I wouldn't. But if it was like... I feel like all student flats in Dunedin are pretty scary looking, though. Yeah, what part of Dunedin did they go to to find this? Walter Street. Right, okay.

You know who you are, Walter Street. Yeah, I don't know. I'd go in maybe with friends if they were big, tough friends. I wouldn't in Dunedin. If you look historically at New Zealand's craziest crimes, it's pretty Dunedin-centric. Right. You're saying don't go in by yourself.

I wouldn't go in by you. I'd take a law professional. Well, the police have said that they're not encouraging this kind of behaviour. Remind us all, it's just a phone. But the thing is... It's got your nudes on it. They do a great job, the police,

but you're not top of their list when it comes to a stolen phone. There's a lot of crime out there. They're not going to drop everything and go around to this house, are they? Straight away. But this is the thing. It could turn from a stolen phone into a full-on assault. If you go over to someone's house, confront them,

you could be getting beat the hell up. And then the police are coming to deal with an assault, not just a stolen phone. Oh, yeah, I'm looking at Walter Street on Google Street View. I probably wouldn't go into any of these houses. Okay, so call the police. I believe what the police are saying is finders keepers, losers weepers. Right. That's the tone of things.

If someone takes your phone, come on. Tough. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast, ZM. From the vulnerable ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. The Australian Open, the tennis that is played in Melbourne, is still happening this year. But there's been a whole lot of trouble.

72 players have arrived for the Australian Open and they're all confined to their hotel rooms for the next 14 days, quarantining after three chartered flights have returned five positive COVID-19 cases. I've heard it's quite contagious, guys. It doesn't sound good. It does. I haven't heard too much about it, but it's not good.

Some of the games have already started. No, they haven't. It says here, Australian Open Jan 10 to Feb 22. It's Jan 19. Unless Google's got me wrong. Is that last year's? No, it says 21 there. Who on earth is playing?

Who does it say has already played? Let me have a look. Fan set for Blockbuster week. I think most of them are still in quarantine. Are they in quarantine? Oh, so it's men's qualifying. Well, they're playing

in their own rooms by themselves. 31st of Jan. 31st of Jan. Yeah, some of them might be done by then. Melbourne Park. And then the actual open

is the 8th to the 21st. Right, the festival may have started. But they haven't started playing tennis. Amateur tennis is a warm-up. Yeah. Also, they're doing

the men's qualifying in Doha and Dubai at the moment. So that's, okay, so that's why, because it's charted flights from Doha to Melbourne that have returned the positive COVID-19 results. So they were hoping initially what, to chart a flight so they could just kind of keep it separate. Yeah, avoid it, but it's not happened.

So they're in isolation, in quarantine now. Are they together or in individual rooms? Individual rooms. And they're not allowed to mingle. In like their government quarantine like we have here. Yeah. And they're not happy about it. They're not happy.

Well, Novak Djokovic, current world number one, he has put out a list of demands. You may also remember this is the same Novak Djokovic, current world number one, he has put out a list of demands. You may also remember this is the same Novak Djokovic that held a party because he was like, hey, I think it's all just bullshit. And then he got it. He got COVID-19. And then even afterwards, it was like,

oh, yeah, it's not much fun, but life goes on. Not for some, actually. No, actually. For like five million people worldwide I think was the latest death toll So I've got the top 6 Novak Djokovic demands Of the Australian Open Number 6

He wants fellow anti-vaxxer And former TV chef Pete Evans To play ping pong with him in his hotel room Knock yourself out Pete I don't think anyone's asking Pete Evans To do anything at the moment So I'd probably say yes Very open schedule

Number 5 on the list of the top 6 Novak Djokovic demands This is an actual demand I don't think anyone's asking Pete Evans to do anything at the moment. So I'd probably say yes. Very open schedule. Very open schedule. Number five on the list of the top six Novak Djokovic demands. This is an actual demand. Private houses with tennis courts to quarantine in so they could practice. That was an actual thing he asked for. Yeah. And all rich people with such property said no. No.

Yeah. No. Number four on the list of the top six Novak Djokovic demands for the quarantine hotel, eight-ply toilet paper. I didn't even know there was such a thing. That's a towel. Yeah. That's a bath towel.

That's going to block all the plumbing, but that's just obviously what he's used to. Yeah. Very rich man. Just flannels? They're like, where have all the hotel flannels gone? He's like, flannels. Are they flannels?

You're talking the little squares of eight-ply toilet paper? Number three on the list of the top six Novak Djokovic demands. If he's stuck in quarantine for 14 days, he wants a ring light because he's going to start doing makeup tutorials on YouTube. But the lighting in the room is terrible for it. He's got the bone structure for it, though. Does have a great. Yeah.

He's a handsome man. High cheeks. Just knows nothing about medicine but claims to. Number two on the list of the top six Novak Djokovic demands. He has demanded that Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer are both injected with COVID-19 because he's had it and Andy Murray's

got it so he just thinks to be fair. Level out the playing field. Yeah. Everybody should have had the debilitating virus. And number one on the list of the top six Novak Djokovic demands, and this is the most stupid of all of his demands, he wants everyone to learn how to spell his name. There's a V?

Or J? J. Is there a silent D? Zik. Yes. There's a silent D on the start of Djokovic. Novak Djokovic. No back. Dijakovic. Dijakovic.

Okay. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. You may have seen stats released yesterday of how badly we're all scanning now. We're not scanning into COVID-19 post-dairy things anymore. Yeah. I'm so scared we're going to have another outbreak. Not because I'm a conspiracy theorist.

No, because they'd know they would deny the outbreak. Well, no, they were saying there was one coming and then they were like, see, we stopped them. Eye roll. Wait, so they said one's coming and then when it didn't happen, they said it only happened because we said it was going to happen and they were scared if it did happen it would show that we were correct.

So either way, they've pinned themselves as the winners. We stopped it happening, or if it happens, told you. Yeah. These are the kind of people you're dealing with. It's a lose-lose situation. They're hedging their bets. But I just worry because it's kind of, the new strains are very virulent.

Is that what you say, virulent? They're very contagious, aren't they? Super contagious. Super contagious. They're morphing at a very rapid rate. So I just, you know, if we have a little leak or one gets out, that's why they're worried that we're not scanning in enough. And there's a leak in the dike.

Yeah. And they seem to back it up. Yeah. So we're not scanning nearly as much as we did. So on Sunday, there was only 300,000 scan-ins. Compared to where was it?

It was up in in almost the millions, wasn't it? Yeah. That's a big drop-off. So is that individual people or just scans alone? That's scans. Total scans. So that wouldn't be 300,000 people. Yeah, because I've been pretty good at scanning lately

because I did slack off a little bit. I did. I pulled back a bit. I was like, it's not around. But I'm back. I'm did. I pulled back a bit. I was like, it's not around. But I'm back. I'm back. I'm back on board. But more people are turning on the Bluetooth apparently. Right.

So how does that work? It just tracks you automatically. If you have it on, the Bluetooth thing on, and then you walk past somebody else who's also got the Bluetooth thing on, it'll be like, send each other a code. It'll be like 1124. 1124. Sunday, you passed each other. And then if that person gets COVID or comes in contact with someone who had COVID prior to that, it would send you a little notification saying someone you walked past.

But you had to have updated the app in December and turned Bluetooth on. Yeah. Have you done that? I did neither of these things. I'm a manual girl. I'm a bit of an analog. Right. Okay.

As long as you do an analogue. My mum and I got scoffed at at the weekend because we were going into a cafe. Scoffed at? A cafe. And we both stopped to do the QR code. It was one of those QR codes that takes a little bit of finding the right angle. And how close was the proximity.

Some of them you can be like, we went through a drive-thru and I felt like I was way too far away and I just kind of like shot from a distance and was like, oh yeah,

this is where you are. I was like, amazing, I'm miles away but then you can have your phone right in front of someone and they take a bit of an angle find. Because your mum,

Christine, she got a new phone. She was that serious about the QR codes. She did. That's dedication. So she could scan in. So we're scanning in

and a woman scoffed at us for holding up the, you know, in the doorway. Well, to that woman, I say. Scoff back. Well, mum wanted to turn around and have a go at her. I was like, don't reveal it. What, she about to unleash on her?

Yeah, I think mum was going to give her the old. Some of us are still trying to do our part. Yeah. I think our mothers would get on very well. Yeah. If there's an outbreak, what's your name? I'll give you a call. Place the blame squarely at your feet.

The kind of person that would probably be the first to scoff if we had to lock down as well. Oh, yes. Yeah, exactly. The economy. Well, I was... And how much is it going to be if there is one? People will be like, well, I was scanning it. It's like, well, go on, show us your history.

Yeah. It's not working at the moment. Yeah. Fletchvorner Megan, the podcast, ZM. Indeed. You know, Matt Damon has just landed in Australia, It's not working at the moment. Indeed. You know, Matt Damon has just landed in Australia, of course, to film Thor. And he's managed to skip the boring hotel quarantine.

And how he's managed to do it? Hundreds of thousands of dollars to pay for a privately funded quarantine. I wouldn't mind celebrities or, you know, movie studios doing this if people are coming to New Zealand. Because then it means your mates that are coming back from overseas can have a hotel. You mean like... Yes, if celebrities are coming here. Yeah, if they want to lock themselves in the far north

and pay for security. Yeah. As long as... So they're saying that he is following meticulous rules because there's been Obviously with celebrities In Australia and New Zealand Some security breaches

Already But that's why He is paying for it himself So as to not Disadvantage other Australians Who are wanting to come home Right But apparently

I mean it sounds horrible He flew here on a private jet After staying in a ski lodge For two weeks with his family To quarantine in America Before he came And now he's in a private jet after staying in a ski lodge for two weeks with his family to quarantine in America before he came and now he's

in a private residence with his family and just having a nice time. Mind you, that drastic change of temperature could lead to a sniffle.

It could. That's true. from the cold of a ski lodge. Yeah. He's getting COVID tests every three days.

So he's staying in Byron Bay? Because he's done that before, hasn't he? Come over to holiday with the Hemsworths? Right. They're good friends. They are good friends. And he's basically saying that they're going to live there for the next few months because he's going to do Thor

and apparently another project. So I suppose hundreds of thousands of dollars, if you're about to make millions, kind of makes sense. I wonder how big a part he's got in Thor. Because he was in another Thor. He had a cameo last time. He was a cameo. Yeah, he had a cameo as Loki.

But then that was at the start of Thor Ragnarok. But I don't know what he's going to be doing in this Thor. Yeah. Okay. Well, everyone, the Prime Minister himself announced it. That Matt Damon's coming. That Matt Damon's coming. Basically because he knew that people were going to go, oh, it's prefer Matt Damon's coming. That Matt Damon's coming. Basically because he knew

that people were going to go, oh, it's preferential treatment for celebrities. But he is saying, you know, by Taika making the movie over there, they're creating hundreds of thousands of jobs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Keeping some cash coming in. Yeah. Right. Because we're doing the Lord of the Rings show here, right? We are. Because is that being filmed near your house? Yes, it is, it's just in the road

Have you had a nosy? Yes, I have had a nosy And they've put shipping containers up at the fence to stop me having my nosy Get your drone out I was thinking about that Of course you would But I was thinking it would have to be like a super quick take off Yeah, right

Because I think photos of the set, like the set is indescribably massive. It's huge. This is going to be Game of Thrones level TV show, like no expense. And the Lord of the Rings universe. Yeah, yeah. And it's for years, isn't it?

Yeah. Well, I think that the money that's been invested means that there's going to be multiple series of it. Wow, okay. Oh, yeah. So what have you seen? Like a big green screen or something? Well, the green screen,

I've talked about the green screen before. There's a green screen that's like six shipping containers high. Wow. Because they, like, I guess they've just... Mountains. I guess they've just duct taped it to the shipping container. There's such a horrible landscape around us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Block it out. Yeah, you, yeah. Block it out. Yeah, you've got to block it out. And then there's like, they built like a village. Oh, yeah. You know how in Westerns they'd like ride into town and there'd be houses on either side, but you knew it was just like that facade of a, so they've built like a village version of that.

Right. And then there looks to be some sort of like river scene setting. But I haven't seen that painted. I only saw it when they were like spraying on the conch or the fiberglass or whatever. How close to the set are you getting? It's New Zealand. I literally was standing at the fence. And the fence is like an old pool fence, like a tall, but it's just a pool fence.

And I was just standing there looking one day and the guy's like, you're right. I was like, I'm just looking. And then a few days later there were shipping containers there so I like to think my nosy parkiness you're the reason is the reason why

there's now shipping containers blocking the Lord of the Rings film set in Kymu you need to go to a costume fireplace get yourself an elf costume to like jump over that little fence

that they've built yeah and say you're lost and have a vape so if they're like, what are you doing? I'd be like, oh, I just didn't know if you could vape on set. Anyway, I'll get back to my trailer. Yeah. I don't think the elves, the little extra elves are getting trailers.

That's real cute, you think you'd have a trailer. It's also flattering you thought I could be an elf. Because they're very like fine boned, like attractive ones. What do you think you'd be? I'm far more a Gimli type situation. A hobbit-y, dwarf-y. A dwarf-y situation. Okay, you're that then.

Let's go with that. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. These are your buy-sell swaps, your general community pages. And on the Upper Hutt community page, Tory has an axe to grind and it is against BK Upper Hutt.

Okay. Why does BK Upper Hutt always forget my cheese? Damn it, I love cheese and I just want them to add cheese when I ask for it. Tonight I asked for double cheese, and I got zero cheese. I just love cheese. Cry face. Wow. I feel like I've had that before when I've asked for no gherkins, and instead I got about

six gherkins. Oh, I'd do that. Yeah, because I feel that they're going, the recipe is curated to taste a certain way. And you're adding in, taking out things. How dare you? So it's a real screw you, you're getting double gherkins. It is. I'd do that, yeah, if I worked there.

Yeah, so would I. But what if I asked... People who are really particular with that kind of stuff. Double cheese? Don't be greedy. Yeah, but what if I asked for double gherkins? Be willing to pay. Oh, yeah, willing to pay.

Yeah. I would say to them, can I have double pickles? Willing to pay. Yeah. To let them know I'm serious about my pickles. Let's pop down to Kaipoi, where the Kaipoi Residence Notice Board, Martin's made a discovery in the public bathrooms there in Kaipoi. Oh, goodness.

A lost toy. I've never seen one of these before. Fletch, maybe you can enlighten us as to how to destroy this to the general populace. If you dropped this, it's still sitting in the Kaipoi domain toilets. Also, while you're there, you could kindly reattach the toilet paper holders you vandalised presumably during your moment of passion. So if someone's trying to put their foot up,

if you are going to make love in a public bathroom, the toilet roll holder's not designed for that sort of foot up. I've never seen one of those before. Hayley, do you know what that is? That, my friends, is a butt plug. Okay. I feel like if you're going to have a little bathroom session with your lover, to get toys involved is quite bold, isn't it?

I think it's more of a quick fix. Yeah. You're investing some time and toys. You open your briefcase with the foam cutouts and you're like, alright. What shall we today? We're in a gross public toilet. Also, I love the sort of suggestion

that it's been dropped. From where? Your hands? Well, after the toilet roll holder broke, they had to get a leg up on something. Presumably it's the sink that it's sitting on. And Martin also comments, if anyone here is on the Weymark Council, the toilet needs servicing. I think that needs a full, like...

Someone's been serviced. Like a COVID clean, but deeper. Industrial, yeah. Drama ahoy! I don't even know what the Facebook page just came from because it's a lengthy message, so they had to cut out something. Oh, okay. But this person's written on their community page, I don't even know what the Facebook page just came from because it's a lengthy message, so they had to cut out something.

But this person's written on their community page. So this is a public airing of Dirty Family Laundry. I'm currently looking for a new mother. This vacancy has arisen unexpectedly as my previous mother, who agreed way back when that we were going to get our first tattoo together, has just told me that she and her youngest son will be getting a tattoo together instead. As you would expect, I'm not angry.

I'm not frustrated. I'm just disappointed. A few things, a few key things my new mother will need to know about me. Oh, wow. This is wild, dramatic son. Could you imagine getting a tattoo with your mum? I tried to convince my whole family to get one together. We're quite close, the four of us, and it was a hard no from the parents.

Really? A hard no. My mum tried to convince me that we should all wear the same Hawaiian shirt to a family birthday once. Hard no. And that was a hard no from me. So I don't know. Tattoos not happening.

This is what the new mother to apply will need to know about their son. One, I'm an Aries. Good to know. Two, I handle an Aries. Good to know. Two, I handle betrayals really well and don't write dramatic Facebook statuses if I'm upset. Three, I'm fabulous. And then there's the dancing red lady in the dress.

Four, I'm needy. Five, I'll call you at ungodly hours in the morning just to see what you're doing. This is a one-way street though, so don't you dare call me. Six, I'm always right in every robust debate, disagreement or argument. Seven, I'm terrible with money, so you'll definitely be transferring every so often. Eight, I'll give you honest and often abrupt feedback and criticism even when you don't ask for it. Nine, I'll ring you at every

slight inconvenience about work and when family drama arises. Ten, I despise little brothers who try to claim my mother as their own. As an applicant, if you believe you cannot handle any of these in quick succession, need not apply. CVs and a two-page cover letter can be slid right into my DMs. Good day to you. Wow, someone's not the favourite son. Yeah.

They are more demanding than Lennon Novak Djokovic was the list. We'll pop to the Beach Haven and Birkdale community page where Callie has written, Suggestions, please. I have a tongue piercing that I'm trying to get out. Oh, dear.

It's completely stuck. I have tried forceps at the hospital and even went to a piercing place in Takapuna. No success. Oh, Jaws of Life. Go to the fire service. Yes. Jaws of Life or Mitre 10 Mega, where she later lets everybody know

she bought a pair of bolt cutters and cut it out herself. No, no, no. Oh, no. Photo included. I'll show you the photo of the bolt cutters. Little bolt cutters, can't you, Minnie? Aren't they just nail clippers? Oh, my God.

How do you even get those in your mouth? Can you imagine putting those in your mouth? The tongue's quite a thing to avoid, isn't it, as well? Oh, my God. There's no room for error there. And everyone's just like, you're crazy. But good to know. I'm glad she shared it with the community, to be honest.

What a journey. Maybe that could be her service offering to the community. If you've got a tongue piercing you want out. Piercing removals. Callie can come around to your house with her little mini-adzir bolt cutters and get that out lickety-split. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page,

screen cap it and send it to ours. We're FEMZM on Facebook. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast. Tap it and send it to us. We're FEMZM on Facebook. Stylists reveal five items from your 2020 wardrobe that should not make it into 2021. Are you ready? Mini bags. What are mini bags? Like bum bags?

I don't expect you to know this, Vaughan, but mini bags are like little tiny purses that hold nothing but a phone and maybe an EFTPOS card. A couple of cards, yeah. Yeah, they've got to go. Say goodbye to micro mini bags. So what do you just go for a big bag now? Just a handbag.

Just a handbag. Just a normal bag. Carry your phone, your wallet, maybe some food. I don't know. Snacks. I'm actually all for this because when I go out with girlfriends and they have a mini bag, they don't have anywhere to put my stuff. Yeah.

And that's problematic, isn't it? And that's why we have bags. Yes. To accommodate men's things when we go out. Exactly. Like chargers,

keys, wallets, phone. Yeah, you say something like, if we're going to sit down, can you put my wallet in your purse

because it's too big to sit on. I'm a big bag girl. I always have been. So micro bags, goodbye. Okay. Next, fluorescent clothing. Now this is new to me because I didn't realise it was in in 2020.

You're talking to high-vis like if you're on a work site. I think we should say just for high-vis and construction workers that you're still beautiful. You're still beautiful. Yes. And even though fluoro may be going out, you're still required to wear it for safety reasons. Stylists are suggesting fluorescent items should be reserved

for situations like cycling where visibility is a must. I thought, though, that it wasn't because a lot of people are wearing fluoro colours. Are they? I've missed this. Really? I've missed every step of it. Okay.

But you're saying stylists are like, it's too late now. So they're saying, so what they're telling me, who didn't know it was in, is it's in and now it's already out. Oh wow, that was quick. It's in and out. In 2021, no fluro. But also, are these stylists in the Northern Hemisphere? Because

maybe we can just keep wearing our fluro and then get rid of it in winter. I mean, fashion is global. That's what I'm going to say rid of it in winter i mean fashion is global that's what i'm gonna say okay right fashion is global yeah uh this is based in america but they are you know they set the time okay okay next another devastating blow tie-dye it might look dated in 2021. let's see ever i just had a friend on instagram matt matt who's very fashionable very he's like the epitome of fashion and cool. Yeah, I know. He was making his own tie-dye.

And I didn't, did you know that's how you make tie-dye t-shirts and stuff? You like pinch them up with the rubber band and then. You tie them all up and you put rocks and little things. There's different techniques to get different patterns. And you go as tight as you can, right? Yeah. But I think you have to keep it to the crafts and not put it on the bod. What they're saying, it's done now.

Yeah, they're predicting the groovy trend is on its way out. No. And on that, probably time to move on from wearing bike shorts outside of the gym. Who's wearing bike shorts outside of the gym? I had seen some bike shorts. It was a real thing with sort of, you know, young hip ladies wearing bike shorts and big T-shirts.

Right, okay. Purge your tight spandex-like biker shorts and replace them with looser boyfriend-fit Bermuda shorts. What are Bermuda shorts? You'd wear them on a yacht. Yeah, they're like a high-waisted, big sort of blowy-outy short. Often in a linen.

So yeah, bike shorts are gone. And finally, and I agree with this one, bulky wallets. Less of a necessity. Oh, yeah. As we move towards a more cashless society, you don't need to be stuffing cash and coins and receipts and all sorts into your wallet. Yeah, and people that keep their, you know,

sushi cards or whatever that they don't use. Now, my Velcro wallet is getting a little bulky. That was on the What's Out in 2010 list, I believe. Well, so should you be due for a resurgence is what you're telling me. It's getting a little bulky. That was on the what's out in 2010 list, I believe. So should you be due for a resurgence is what you're telling me. You're telling me don't let my Rip Curl Velcro wallet go anywhere. We're not there yet. We're not there yet.

We're looking for chic slimline wallets or even just a money clip if you're a cash man or woman. Oh, no. And what about one of my mates has got a, you know, those little steel containers that people hold their business cards in? They've got that as a wallet. I don't like that. I don't like that.

No, you always feel like they're about to offer you a cigarette or something. Yeah. Cigarette fellow. No, thank you, fellow. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. At the weekend, I was in Mount Maunganui. Beautiful. Lovely place.

And a... Did you do a Copenhagen cone? No. No, I didn't. But I did it the time before. Did you get a selfie at the top of the mount? I did that the time before. Okay, good.

You didn't go to the mount, you liar. You're a fraud. So they've got lime scooters. Oh, yeah. And, I mean, lots of They've got lime scooters Oh yeah And I mean lots of places Got lime scooters But It'd have been a while Because Auckland still doesn't

Have lime scooters back Do they? Nah well they Lime bought Was it Jump? And now you can Yeah and there's a few Old limes

Hanging about Yeah but other places Like Christchurch still has limes Yeah yeah so I love a lime Other cities And my daughters love a lime Yep So we limed.

Yep. First of all, Indy and I limed to the booze store. She was just gagging for a drink. Yeah, so she could carry the booze

while you scooted. Is that how that worked? No, and then went back with it on the handlebars and the weight was like on one side so there was a real

adjustment to keep it flat there and also not endanger the life of my eight-year-old imagine the headline man crashes life scooter um daughter horrendously injured long whites okay man sacrifices daughter's arm to cushion the fall of long whites onto paper. No long whites broken. Yep. So the long whites, we all got home, we all got back safely. But then Sade came down with August, our other daughter, and I said, well, there's another lime there,

and I've just learned you can do this thing called, like, group liming. Oh, yeah, a couple of the scooters do that. Euron does it. One account holder can scan multiple scooters. Oh, so you can shout a ride. Yeah. Euron does it. One account holder can scan multiple scooters. Oh, so you can shout a rhyme. Yeah. And you can.

You always go out with that one friend in a group and they're like, I don't have the app yet. Yeah. Let's just walk. We're going to an Uber. Yeah. So you just do it. So you scan them in and away we went.

So away we went and we got to our desk. Oh, no. First of all, I scanned the scooter for shut, eh? Yeah. And it said, will you allow us to access your contacts? I was like, what's the worst you're going to do? Have at. Yeah.

And then I clicked okay and then I don't even know who it was. A little photo popped up on the scooter that I scanned. Oh, okay. Of who? I don't know because it was so tiny, but I'm assuming it's from my contacts. What? It was not someone that was immediately recognisable

from this tiny thumbnail. Oh, okay. I was like, who's that? And are they going to get like a notification that they're liming with me? Who knows? So that was my major concern until we got to the end and it was like end ride and I scanned mine

and it was like bling, bling, bling. Ride ended and there was no longer an ability to scan an end. I was like, well Well it must just be like It's ended everyone You started at the same place You've ended at the same place You've clocked out

So Sat down Enjoyed some fish and chips Beautiful On the grass What did you have? I had two pieces of Crumbed

Snapper Always Crumbed Always Always go for crumbed Always crumbed Yeah not bad I always do better

You were better I'm a better I don't like crumb. It's basic. It gives me childhood flashbacks of Pack and Save, Hokie. What are those fish things you buy in bulk? Yeah, fish fingers. Yeah, those things.

This place did panko crumbed. Oh. A bougie, a crumb. It is the mount after all. No wonder you couldn't do Copenhagen Cone. You'd spend all your money. Oh, no. I was full.

Yeah, right. So it was at that stage sitting there enjoying my panko crumbed snapper, that I heard a gang of youths say, we'll take a lime scooter from here. And one of them pulled out their phone and tried to scan the scooters that we had used, the two scooters. One of them was like, b-ding, b-ding, did that noise where it unlocked. And the other one was like, oh, mine's not scanning. It says it's in use.

And I'm like. I turn and look over my shoulder and I said to Shade, wait, I clocked out of that one. And she's like, yeah, you clocked out. I was like, oh. And then one's like, hey, look, it's going. Away they go. And I was like, huh, maybe not.

And there's nothing in the app that could let you log out of that. There was no further ability because you always click on end ride and you take a photo. Yeah. Didn't give me that option for the second scooter. So it was some 15 to 20 minutes later that my phone made a noise and it was at that stage that it had logged out of the line. Oh, it sent you a receipt.

And I got an emailed receipt and it had cost me $35. Have you, like, told them that you want to, like, refo? No, because it's not like they haven't given the service. They have, but just to someone else. Yeah, right. On your dime. It's kind of like you've done charity for the youth. That's a beautiful gift for the youth.

I hope those youths get back to their party. They looked affluent, so I'd imagine it was a beachfront property. It is a mountain. They didn't need charity. They didn't need the charity. Okay, right. As much as other youths. But you just tread lightly on the old group chicken

because you could be shouting a bunch of yahoos. Yachting a bunch of yahoos. A bunch of yahoos. You sound like an old mate at the Mount, and it's not that long ago that I was in the Mount with you, and you were a yahoo. I was the yahoo. Hey, well, if you're listening, if you're listening and you got a free ride from Vaughan at the Mount,

call in. You're welcome. Just say thank you. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Yesterday, the first day back at work for us, a lot of people came back the week before. A lot of people worked all the way through. Hey, look, everybody's different.

That's what I've learned from this. But yesterday, not a great start to the year. Forgot my headphones. The car had no petrol. These are all things that are your fault, not the years. 2021 didn't do that to you. Why did 2021 not put petrol in my car? It's stopping for petrol that I don't like.

I know. So you just want to get to where you're going. Having to stop on the way home, you're like, I'm just going, you know. Yesterday was a bit of a shock to the system for me. That's probably the earliest I've ever woken up in my entire life. I thought maybe I'll slap on a face for the first day and I went to put some eyeshadow on and I put chapstick all over my

eyelids. What is that like a makeup that's like a chapstick? The MAC paint pots, they're like an eyeshadow cream and you paint them onto your eyelid. I'm wearing it today and I look stunning. You do look stunning.

And yesterday I reached for my paint pot and instead grabbed a'm wearing it today and I look stunning. You do look stunning. Thank you. And yesterday I reached for my paint pot and instead grabbed a Mecca lip balm and I slathered it all over the lid. Oh, you painted the... So not only did your eyelids

have paint on them, but now your brush has goopy lip... Tackiness on it, yeah. And it has that thing like when you open your eyes and they sort of stick to the lid

and you couldn't... Right. That's when I noticed what I'd done. And instead of removing it, I just put more eyeshadow on top. Over top. Yeah, a glossy lid.

Yeah. Great start. I think we need a tutorial on that. I will. Yeah, great. Glossy lid tutorial coming your way. Could be something good. Yeah.

Could be a good start. Yeah, I also couldn't find my car park because it was labelled Hayley Sproul and I thought it was going to be labelled Megan, so... What, so you saw the car park labelled Hayley Sproul and I thought it was going to be labelled Megan, so. What, so you saw the car park labelled Hayley Sproul and you're like, can't be me. I'm parking in Megan's park. Can't be me. Oh, Megan, yeah. Right.

Great start to the year. Great start to the year. Great start to the year. I want to know this morning, on 0800DOLLS.NW you can text in 9696, what was your great start to the year? But obviously not a great start. Yeah, oh, great start to the year? But obviously not a great start. Yeah. Oh, great start to the year. Yeah. Like a year.

Oh, great start to the year. Great start to the year. Sarcasm. Sarcasm there. If you ring with good news, I don't want to hear it. No, no, no. We don't want your good starts. We want the, oh.

Because it really like globally, it hasn't started well, has it? Because I think we all thought we'll put last year behind us. Yeah. And this year is bound to be better. And then America. And then America. And COVID and everything that is going on. I wonder what we all thought would happen

December 31st at 11.59. What would just disappear? It would go click over and we'd be like... Like a computer restart. It's all gone. But when you restart your laptop... Turn it off and turn it on again. And everything works, but nothing's changed. Okay, so how bad... Like a computer restart. Yeah. It's all gone. But when you reset your laptop. Turn it off and turn it on again. Yeah.

And everything works, but nothing's changed. Yeah. Okay, so how bad, just those little things that happened. Just a little niggle. Yeah. A little niggle that made you go, great start to the year. I love that Vaughn is sending us photos from the toilet. Yeah.

But yet, is it here? He's not here. The photo he sent, the person needs to have a glass of water. My gosh, that's a strong stream. What are you? Just strolls in like there's no rush, no worries in the world. You all right, mate? Yeah, no, I'm good, thank you. Let's just go into the toilet.

Did you get my picture that I sent? We just. We've got a blocked urinal. We just talked about that. Great start to the year. Great start to the year. It stinks. Is that you or it was there i don't

know it was there because you can see the red buckets being placed underneath it it's a oh so we are taking your calls and texts this morning what was a great start to the year a sarcastic great start to the year amy good morning good morning well now What was your great start to the year? My great start was going back to work and on my first day my house got robbed Oh Great start

Great start What did they take? They took jewellery and like electronics and cash Yeah That's not even a sarcastic great start They took jewellery and, like, electronics and cash and... Yeah. Oh, dude. That's not even a sarcastic great start.

That's a horrible start. That's so shaday. Yeah. It gets me so upset when people, like, go into other people's houses and... How dare you? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, daylight. Daylight robbery.

Daylight, yeah. The only reason I noticed is because they took my phone charger and my Pepsi out of the fridge. I don't know how I would even take that. Wow. Okay. Well, Amy, well, they needed re-mind-draining. It was hot.

It's been hot. It's been hot. It's thirsty work, Robin. All right. Thanks for your call, Amy. Keep your texts, your calls coming in. We'll get to more of these next. Lots of great starts to the year next lots of great starts to the year

sarcastic great starts to the year plenty somebody said I had two back to back viruses neither were COVID but both had the same symptoms

oh dear oh great start to the year great start we want to know your great start to the year sarcastic great start

to the year because somebody's a message in saying that people are whinging, aren't they? Yeah. But we want the sarcastic. And they've had a great start to the year and that's lovely. That's not what we're after. But that's not what we want. The sarcastic great start

to the years. Oh, bloody great. So, some text messages in on it. Also, did you hear that everybody was getting, was it norovirus? Or... Yeah, right. Didn't Ross... Ross on it. Also, did you hear that everybody was getting, was it norovirus? Or... Yeah, didn't Ross... Ross got it. Multiple friends of ours all

around the same time all got the spews and the poos. But isn't that because they have like gross kids? Children. And the kids could have been with them for a few days. Oh, okay. So I don't know where they picked up the poos and spews and a whole lot of unconnected people had poos and spews. Was it deli chicken? Increased amount of deli chicken consumption.

I love a hot deli chicken and you know you're rolling the dice whenever you have a hot deli chicken. Yeah. Hot deli chickens. Mine's shaved ham from behind the counter. How many days does it last in the fridge? Shaved ham's fine because it's salted within an inch of its life, isn't it? I suppose so.

It's when it gets slimy. Slimy and slightly creamy. Give it a rinse. Give it a rinse. Give it a rinse. Creamy. Give it a rinse. Give it a rinse.

And add more salt. Yeah, or put it in a toasty, a hot toasty. Oh, yeah. Fry it in a pan. Yeah. Make it into bacon. Surrounded by cheese and bread. All of these terrible solutions.

Somebody said, woke up first day of the year in a tent. Oh, okay. Toothache. Terrible start to the year. Great start to the year. I need a root canal, the dentist told me. Oh, I had a root canal last year. It was horrible.

I've never had one and I hope that remains. Well, there you are. Something. Because they numb the pain, but you can still feel your whole face rattling. Jono, what was the great start to the year? I had to reset four different passwords

to get back into accounts. Oh, great. So they're like, come back to work. Holiday's over. You're like, it is a nightmare situation. This happened to my partner.

He got locked out of Facebook and therefore everything else because he signed everything using Facebook. Right. How did you remedy the situation, Jono? There was a long call to IT. Oh, great start. Great start to the year. For you and IT.

Hey, thanks for your call, Jono. Karen, what was your great start to the year. For you and IT. Hey, thanks for your call, Jono. Karen, what was your great start to the year? We were trying to take the boat out and the track cracked itself in the middle of the road and we were stuck there trying to get everything moved for the next two hours. Oh, no. People also love sitting in traffic at that time of year.

Yeah, they do. And it's nice and hot. Famously love being stuck somewhere. I passed someone on the summer. We weren't stuck in traffic. We were just holding people up in the middle of a road. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. You caused the traffic.

They were stuck in traffic. They were stuck in traffic. We're not feeling sorry for you. You've got a boat. Actually, we passed someone On the summer roadie That their boat had fallen Off the trailer

Oh no I drove behind a guy The other day in Mount Albert And he was just driving And his trailer His tow bar snapped And the trailer went And hit the ground

Did he have his safety chain on? Yeah and he dragged it Around the corner It was terrible It's my nightmare That that happens But at the same time I want to have to use that safety chain

that you put on a trailer. Yeah, right. For a reason. For that very reason. Yeah. Ooh. Somebody said, I forgot to put the handbrake on the work truck.

I've done that. Exactly. And it rolled down a 150-meter cliff. Oh, I haven't done that, but mine... How's it 150? Surely it was an embankment. Yeah.

Wow. Because you imagine, you're watching the work minutes? Surely it was an embankment. Yeah. Because you imagine you're watching the word cliff. Woo! 150 minutes. Woo! Happens to the best of us. It does. Mine went into a house.

Mine went into a house. The station vehicle went into a house. How much into a house? Did it crash through a wall? Yep. Oh, dear. That's good, though. Good insurance. And I think the station

got a new station vehicle. Which they wanted. Silver lining. Olivia, what was the great start to the year? I was at Rhythm and Vines, and I caught gastro on the 31st. Did you have a deli chicken? No, it was apparently

the water. There was a few of us in the paramedics' tent all shitting and vomiting at the same time. Oh, no. Did you look each other in the eye as it was happening? Yeah, it was pretty awful. Wow. See the whites of someone's eyes?

You're like, not again. Oh, that's a water... And what a place when you're camping as well. And do you think about that? You think that was a bad start for you, Olivia? Imagine being the paramedics. Oh yeah, I felt very sorry for them. Oh dear. Good people. Brilliant. Hey,

Olivia, thanks for your call. Somebody said, first day of week one back at work and there's absolutely no coffee. Local cafes still closed. Great start to the year. First day of week two ran out of coffee that had been purchased the week before. First day of week three no air con.

This was yesterday in Auckland. Oh, no. It's bad Mondays. Mondays. Yeah. I'll phone with you. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast. ZM.

Millennium matchmaker Anna Bay has revealed the five things that make women irresistible to men with heaps of money. Here they are. Has Anna Bay, Bay surname? B-E-Y. Okay, B-E-Y, Anna Bay. Has she married a millionaire? I don't know. Her actual job is

to matchmake rich people. Because what? This seems like an easy job. Yeah, you'd think so. Is it because rich people don't have time for like Tinder and Bumble like the rest of us? They're too busy running multiple companies, probably making a lot of money. Maybe they can't get across on Tinder and Bumble how rich they are. Whereas if you were contacted by Anna Bay who said, hi, I work on behalf of rich people,

that seems like a rich person thing to do, doesn't it? Well, it sounds like with these tips, it's sort of rich people can have the pick of the crop and here's how to put yourself ahead of the other women fighting for these rich men. Okay. They're pretty straightforward. But these tips could also just work day to day really. Oh they absolutely could. If you're going on a date. They absolutely could. Okay. Things like number one, tip number one, be confident.

Yep. Number one thing that starts drama in relationships she says is ladies insecurities. So chuck that stuff out the window and you'll hook yourself a millionaire. Could this be a list of like how to marry a man in the 50s or something? Yeah, this sounds like... It does.

It sounds like a man's list from the 1950s. Don't bother him with your problems. She is curating women for these men. So, yep, ladies, no insecurities. It's not attractive. Shush there, sweetheart. Let him go out and fraternise with the gals. Absolutely. All right, number two. Don him go out and fraternise with the gals. Absolutely.

All right, number two. Don't be afraid to play. Hard to get. There you go. They like to chase. Even that feels like... Don't come across too keen. Yeah, even that feels a bit 50s.

Who's going to buy the car when they can get the meal for free? Yeah, yeah. Heaven forbid you told them that you liked them. But then if you were about to, like, hook up with a millionaire, wouldn't you struggle to not come across like you want to spend all of his millions? I know, but she says that millionaires, their minds

thrive on challenge. So present yourself as a challenge and you'll hook yourself a millionaire. Number three, let him show his emotions. So while you chuck your insecurities to the side and don't tell him that you like him, let him show his emotions. So while you chuck your insecurities to the side and don't tell him that you like him,

let him show his emotions. Let him be vulnerable. Seems like the person with the money is making zero effort. Yeah, his effort is the dollar dollar bills you owe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. If you're by his side, don't judge him. You know, that's what they say.

Let him express himself. Number four, always know your self-worth, which is less than his, basically. No, your self-worth and dollar amounts, his is more. Yeah. Yeah, you do not know. She says that most women don't know how to demand real respect. So know what you are worth. Oh, no. So she's saying you are worth more than. Well, she's saying you need to give the energy of knowing that.

So I don't know if you actually have to do it or if you have to perform that. Right. Her final tip, and then you'll have yourself a very rich man. Use your femininity to capture his interest. Birbs. Is that what's that? Get your tat-ass out and he'll get the dollars out. Yeah, birb, birb. Right, okay. Nurture him without being a doormat. There you go. That's close. Get your tat-ass out. He'll get the dollars out.

Nurture him without being a doormat. There you go. What? That's what she said. Nurture him without being a doormat. There is a fear among women that they need to be cold and rigid with men, but be soft and feminine. Nurture your man. I like my woman cold and rigid.

Us ladies She adds at the end, us ladies are indeed sitting on a gold mine because it's so easy to persuade a man with your femininity. Boobies in the skin. The boobies in the gold mine. There you go. So basically back south, be confident, shush your mouth

and get your boobies out. And you'll have a millionaire in no time. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. The song that you can hear here is a New Zealand sea shanty called The Wellerman. It was uploaded on the 28th of December, according to TikTok. Okay. And it's since then taken on a life of its own. You can hear people in the background here chewing it in,

adding more and more layers to singing along with the man that originally put the sea shanty up. And has given birth, rebirth, shall we say. To a movement. To the shanty movement. The rebirth of the sea shanty. Everyone's stuck at home, getting involved, singing along with sea shanties. And we're joined on the phone by the Scotsman, Nathan Evans. Hello.

Hello there, how are we? Very good. very good. Now, are we the first New Zealanders you've talked to? Because the song that you have made famous is a New Zealand sea shanty. I know, and actually, I think yous are, yep, yous are the first. Yes. Yay. How on earth did you come across a New Zealand sea shanty in 2020?

It was basically, it started in July Where somebody commented under one of my videos on TikTok They basically said, could you do a cover of a sea shanty It's called Leaf Hard Johnny, could you do that for us? I said, yeah, no problem And then it was just, it kind of snowballed from there with people asking me to do different sea shanties. He takes requests.

And the Wellerman was just one of them. I love this. So do you know what TikTok user actually requested the Wellerman? There was quite a few. There was a few people. Right, and then at last count, I think when I looked yesterday, you had like 6.2 million followers, views of that TikTok alone.

Yep. I think it's just at 6.5, 6.6 now, I think, something like that. It just keeps going now. You've created a new genre of music they're calling Shantytalk. Do you reckon you're going to be headlining Coachella soon?

Glastonbury? You never know. Shantyt soon? Glastonbury? Hey, you never know. Shanty talk for Glastonbury. Oh, could you imagine the poster for Glastonbury and your names on it? Oh, my God. Just me on a ship. Yeah.

What do you think it is about the sea shanty that people are drawn to? I think it's the fact that everybody can join in on a sea shanty and they're fun. They get everybody going. They keep the morale up of everybody and it's just very upbeat especially in these times over here in the

UK and the US. I don't know about you guys but we're still stuck in the house at the minute so it brings everybody together. It's quite nice. Yeah, we're not stuck in the house. We're having huge concerts. I don't want to rub it in but yeah, we're nice. Yeah, we're not stuck in the house. We're having huge concerts. Yeah. I don't want to rub it in, but yeah. Jealous.

Yeah. We've nailed it, really. Yeah, yeah. But that is another cool thing. You recorded the original video on Scotland and when people duet with it on TikTok, there's people from all around the world with accents and languages, you know,

joining in and dueting with a sea shanty. So you're right. There is that sort of that feeling of getting together over a sea shanty. Well,'re right, there is that sort of that feeling of getting together over a sea shanty. Well, that is what the purpose of them was, wasn't it? At sea, feeling down and light. I mean, everyone used to sing to arouse their spirits and you're doing the same in this horrible time.

That's it, exactly. It's just kind of 21st century version of that. Have you had any celebrities sliding in to the DMs or wanting to work with you? Yeah, no, not yet. Dr. Dre hasn't come knocking yet? Well, he's had a brain aneurysm. No, wait, he's a bit unwell, isn't he?

Yeah, he might have to wait until he's out of hospital there. Imagine a Moby remix of a Scottishman. It's about whaling and Moby, Moby Dick. Maybe there's something there. That's the other thing I was quite surprised People are loving it And they're like Oh this song rules

If you listen to it It's about the brutal Like week long Slaughtering of a whale That just won't die So I'm waiting for your Peter complaint to come in Hopefully

Hopefully they'll let that slide Given that you just Sang the song And didn't actually Slaughter any whales. I took absolutely no part in anything to do with whales. So now the world is watching. The very important question, what is the next sea shanty you'll be singing?

I'm not too sure yet, but all I can say is just keep your eyes peeled and you'll soon find out. Have you been and looked at the Spotify playlist sea shanties? Because there's some really good ones in there. There's some bangers on there. I'm going to request, have you done... I've asked. Have you done, what's the... Lawlands, Lawlands away my love. Lawlands away.

No, but that's a very requested one as well. Oh, you've got to do it. My partner, he's going to be so delighted once I share you with him because he is a sea shanty fanatic, has been for years. And Lowlands. He's OG. He was before the trend. Before shanty talk, Aaron has been listening to the shanties

and he loves Lowlands. So get round to it. Come on. Okay. Okay. I'll get there. to the shanties and he loves Lowland so get round to it come on okay okay I'll get there they're great drinking songs too aren't they sea shanties

oh yeah you imagine a sort of big sloppy handle of beer in your hand yeah and you guys can you guys could

get everybody to join in in real life I'm still I'm still waiting for that I'm still being yeah true yeah

waiting to get back to the pubs I know you Sc Waiting to get back to the pubs I know you Scots Love a trip to the pubs Yeah That's it exactly So Maybe when we can

Get back to the pubs We can get everybody to join in Yeah Well Nathan Thanks for the chat We're really looking forward To seeing what Sea shanty you take on next

And hopefully Everyone joins in As fantastically And creates Some amazing TikToks in the process Yeah Yep There is loads to come Flesh, Vaughan and Megan The podcast is fantastically and creates some amazing TikToks in the process. Yeah.

Yep, there is loads to come. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the origins of the word teenager. Okay. How old do you think that word is? 13. And really moody. Yeah.

Very unpredictable. Big attitude problem. I don't know. Teenager. I mean, I read quite a lot of, oh my God, this is going to make me sound so wanky, but I read quite a lot of historical novels. And you don't often hear of teenagers. You wouldn't.

It would be young. Adolescents. Young adolescents or young men or a woman before her blood. Or just after, hence within. Yeah. Why do you read historical novels? What kind? Like Mellows and Boone, like romance novels why do you read historical novels what kind like Millers and Boone

like romance novels they're not historical novels they were all written in the 80s weren't they they're historical that's history the 80s it was a very busy time

I don't know I'm just into them sort of you know like fiction set in medieval times or Elizabethan times just any

any year old anyway carry on. Man, I'm just trying to think of one. Bronte Sisters. Yeah. Love the Bronte Sisters. I'm currently reading the Ken Fullett, one of my favourite series, the Pillars of the Earth series. I'm reading the prequel.

This is an interesting one. I've never heard of, no. Pillars of the Earth. Pillars of the Earth. Yeah. It's great. It's a great series of books. Well, the word teenager was first used and introduced to the vocab in 1944. Wow. Okay. I thought it would have been older than that

because it was getting towards the end of World War II and adolescents had a spending power now because a lot of men were at war and so teenagers got jobs. And so now that they had a little bit of discretionary income, they needed to be advertised to. But they didn't have a zippy name. Like adolescence wasn't an attractive marketing term.

So someone said, well, it is the teen years and I guess they're aged in their teens, and came up with teenagers. It's not that original when you break it down like that, is it? No, when it was so simple. Yeah, yeah. They're of the age in their teens. Yeah.

And that's why I maybe, because when I was always growing up, I was always like, oh, you're a teenager when you're 13. Because it's 11 and 12, eh? They don't have een on the end. Nah, because exactly. But they're tweens. The in-between. So that came later.

That came later. Yeah, that was in the 1990s, the tweens. And again, it was because they had spending power because they could nag their mum and dads to buy things. Right. And they needed to have a marketing term. And it was the same with millennials. And Gen Xers and Y, like, is that

why they do this? So that it's easier to sell our stuff. Exactly. To lump you into a group and then advertise directly to you to sell. And they only really seem to happen when they have a spending power attributed to them. Until then, you're worthless heaps of

non-named junk. You're just a stupid child. You're just a stupid. Or an old man. You're on either end of it. You don't have money yet because you haven't earned any or you don't have money yet because you burnt through your KiwiSaver. You're about to die. You better chuck it in.

So today's fact of the day is the word teenager was first used in 1944. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Bridgerton, you can find it on Netflix. And I believe it's been the number one show in New Zealand for what, a couple of weeks now? It's an American streaming television period drama created by Chris

Van Dunst. It's a Shonda Rhimes. Yeah, it is. Shonda Rhimes production. Yeah. It's a competitive world of Regency era, London's I don't know, blah, blah, blah debutantes presented. This is not why the show is popular stuff Sex stuff It's basically hot sex

in that Downton Abbey house It's the London season where they try to find suitors Yes, indeed, it's all about connecting their young daughters with, yeah, eligible bachelors, parading them about

And there's a gossip. There's a gossip. It's basically Gossip Girl in Downton Abbey, isn't it? Well, it's her name, Lady. I was going to say Antebellum. No. Lady. Gaga.

Lady. She narrates it. Lady Whistledown. Whistledown. And do you know that's narrated by Julie Andrews? I know. Yeah. Mary Poppins is in this horny Netflix series.

So, and yeah, it is, it's hot and steamy. It's super hot and steamy. And the scene, I mean, they're beautifully done, but they absolutely, they evoke a certain feeling within the watcher. And Celia from The Office watched it with her mum. And dad popped in every now and then to me. Celia, how did that happen?

Okay, the series didn't come with a warning sign. I really think it should. Did you watch it the day it was released? Because I feel even a day or two after it came out, everywhere I looked online was like, the steamy hodge of the hype. Yeah. It was pretty early on.

It did come as a shock. I didn't expect it. Because it doesn't come in for like four or five eps. Right? So I was all pleasant, you know, watching it. Oh, this is lovely. And by that point, you're already all hooked. So you're like,

I guess this is the show we're watching as a family now. Yeah, and your mum's like, don't you dare watch Bridgerton without me. Oh, literally, it was quite awkward. There was one point where it was like right in the middle of a scene and I was like, hey, I'm on my phone. How else can I get out of this? It had been going on for like four minutes.

I was like, I'm just going to run to the bathroom. And then mum was like, I'll pause it. Your mum's like, actually, good call. You go to the bathroom. I'm going to make myself a cup of tea. Christ alive. Holy shit. I'm going to get an ice pack in the freezer.

Did she say anything? I'm having one of my hot flushes. No. Did she say anything? No, I was like, I'm fine, I'm fine. It's like all good. She's like, no, no, no, you can't miss this. You can't miss this.

I mean, you can't. You can't miss it. Your mum eyeballs you. She's like, this is what we've been watching for. Wow. We sat through five episodes of will they won't they sit down and so as as these scenes played out because they sort of get hotter and hotter they they they escalate quite quickly was there a running commentary or did you

sort of sit in the silence of it all silence oh my god it was awkward and my dad like would pop in sometimes and he'd be like oh this is a bit much you know like he'd be the one breaking the silence but i i just was on my phone i couldn't look anywhere else because from the back it sticks sometimes and he'd be like, oh, this is a bit much. You know, like he'd be the one breaking the silence. But I just was on my phone. I couldn't look anywhere else. Because from the back, Eps 6 on, once it starts, it doesn't stop.

Wait, how many episodes are there? I thought there was only six episodes. No, there's eight. Eight? So you guys are not counting. It was just a blur. It does look like Eps. I think it's about Eps 5,

that they start. And then it's a snowball effect. Right, okay. I can't watch anything with my dad. My dad provides a running commentary. Oh, I think he'd be pretty quiet during this show. Old mate Smithy. He wouldn't know where to look.

So after the final episode, did you have a debrief about the series and how we all enjoyed it? We literally have not spoken about the scenes. Really? It's just ignored. At all. At all. You're not the only person, my friend.

Morgan watched it with her mum too. Oh, but that got quite an open relationship. Yeah, but even she was like, it's a bit weird. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. It's a bit like full on because it's your mum. Because if you're sort of nodding knowingly, you're telling your parents something. But if they're sort of nodding knowingly, you're telling your parents something.

But if they're sort of going, oh, then you know. Like no matter which way you react to it when you're watching your parents, you're learning things about each other. And if your mum's pausing it

and looking at dad and being like, see? How long's that been going on for? Or if they very quickly disappear off to bed afterwards. Yeah. Anyway, let's watch The Rest of My Rear Further and I've Got a Kid on to bed afterwards. Yeah. Anyway, let's watch the rest of my life.

I've got to get up early at night. Yeah, wow. Oh, gosh. Look at the time. It's 8pm. And then you hear them turn on the TV in the bedroom and they start the episode again. Not appropriate.

You know. So we want to ask the question this morning. Have you been in this situation? Maybe it is Bridget in that you've watched with your parents. Have you had an awkward watch with your parents? Maybe you started a movie or a TV show and you didn't know what was coming.

And then all of a sudden you're in the lounge with mum and dad and there's something on TV and it's awkward. Yeah. My rule is to never sit in the silence. You've got to have a bit of commentary going on. Oof. We'll sit in the silence. You've got to have a bit of commentary going on. Oof.

We'll break the awkward silence, yeah. So watching Bridget in with your parents, don't do that. Yeah. No, that's to be avoided. My parents are pretty liberal, but I still wouldn't do it. It's just awkward, isn't it? Yeah. It doesn't matter how liberal they are.

And Celia from The Office has done it. I know multiple people that have ended up watching it with their parents because I guess it was the holiday season so you might have just been at home. Yeah, it's hard with Bridgerton because you know when you watch a film and then a scene pops up,

a lovemaking scene, everyone sort of has something to do. Like, yeah, Dad will make a cup of tea, I'll be on the phone, Mum will watch intently. Taking notes. Yeah, but with Bridgerton, tea, I'll be on the phone, mum will watch intently. Taking notes. Yeah, but with Bridgerton, it's just relentless. It is.

Lisa, what was awkward to watch with the parents? It was a few years ago, and it was actually my grandparents. I went over to watch a lovely Christmas movie. Okay. And we watched Love Actually, which first thought, you're like, oh yeah, that's a good movie. And then you remember there's those naked actors that are posing for the porn scenes. Oh yeah! And they're just pretending to hump each other, like just relentlessly, while I'm sitting

next to my grandparents. Oh wow, did they comment or just say nothing? No, there was the full silence and then afterwards they had a word to my mother about their concerns. So, you know, that was great. Oh no! Y'all. They had a word to my mother about their concerns. So, you know, that was great. Oh, no. They should also talk to TV2 every week before Christmas about their concerns. Bleach, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul.

Our bonus banger is coming up, your chance to win cash. But right now, talking about those... I thought you were calling Hayley the bonus banger. Bleach, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul, the bonus banger. It's coming up. Maybe I needed a comma. It's the first time I've been called that, Vaughn. I'm sorry, dude.

Back in the Wellington days. What is this, a frat movie? I was Sproul the bonus banger. Oh, my God. We're talking about those awkward moments you've had watching something with the parents. Yeah. Bridgeton is- Consider this your PSA.

Yeah. A lot of people have done this And they've regretted it Because they haven't been able To enjoy the scenes Because they've had to Bury their head in the pillows I love that you gestured to me When you say enjoy the scenes

I did enjoy the scenes The scenes The shinge And the shinge You're making me blush Because you didn't have to Wash it with your mum No I watched it privately

I even refused to share it With my boyfriend I sort of did that thing When you're in bed Watching different things On separate laptops And I sort of turned it, angled it away. Did you?

It's hard to privately just have fun. You pull the duvet up over your head, you're like, don't come into my cave. So when you're watching this montage of filth from the 1800s, what was he watching on his laptop? What's that, Repair Shop? Yes! Yes!

That's my... I feel like you're on different levels My man loves his antiques. And both feature men very talented with their hands and their tools Yeah, indeed. Yeah Thematically quite similar actually And at the end there's an old lady

like crying You haven't seen Bridget get weepy, I don't know Roxy, what was the awkward moment you had watching with your parents? Brokeback Mountain. Oh, yeah, right. Because you just think they're going fishing. I didn't know it was going to be as explicit as what it was.

I thought, you know, it'd be some nice shadow work or something. But, yeah. It's full spit on the head. Yeah. shadow work or something, but yeah. It's full spit on the head. I watched Brokeback Mountain on one of those small screens on the plane. Oh, yeah. And you know when everyone's walking up and down the aisle to go to the tour and then you're just

sort of like... You lean in and you create like a thing so no one else can see what you're watching. Yeah, that wouldn't have happened if you were flying a Middle Eastern airline. They would have just edited out all the tech stuff. Oh, yeah, thanks for your call. Exactly.

Thanks for your call, Roxy. Katie, what did you watch with someone that was a little inappropriate? So I was sitting there with my dad and we were watching The Black Swan. Oh. What's it all when she has a little self moment? Oh, and then...

Yep. Wow. And then Mila Kunis? Yes. Yes. Wow. She does that thing, doesn't she? And Natalie Portman.

Did Dad like that movie? Dad would have loved it. Dad probably enjoyed it, but maybe not so much with me there. No. No, that's one to re-watch later when you've gone home. It is, Katie, thanks for your call. Annie, what did you watch with your parents? With my grandparents, and it was like a David Attenborough nature program,

and suddenly a giant tortoise mounted another one, and the shells were clicking. Can I just stop? Hold on, hold on. Can we just take a moment? Hold on, Annie. We just want to take a moment to appreciate what animals were there again? They were like land tortoises.

They were giant tortoises. The tortoise! And did they mount what the tortoise got up on the other tortoise? No, not the tortoise. The tortoise. The tortoise got up on the other tortoise? The tortoise. One mounted another, and my granddad just let out this huge, like, roo, and jumped up so fast.

Turned the television off. What do you mean? What noise did he make? He was trying to, I think, sort of drown out the noise of the shell. And ironically, he sounded like a tortoise making love. Okay. Do you see much there? Do you see much there? You don't, but I've seen it live.

I went to the zoo when I was a kid with my best friend and her grandmother. And I remember there was lots of air. So they sort of grunt and there was lots of air coming out. Like... Of the tortoise? Of the tortoise. Well, they're not a whoopee cushion. Yeah, they were.

They were grunting. Brilliant. Annie, thank you for your call. My favourite part was just some text messages. I will never call it a tortoise ever again. A toy toys. Ever. We'll be toy toys until the end of time.

Somebody said, do you remember the TV show Spartacus? Oh, my gosh. My dad would always want to watch that with us. He'd be like, just watch it yourself, Dad. He'd be like, no, it's more fun when you've got a show to all watch together. Were there boobies? Lots of them. Oh, that was every New Zealand actor's baptism by fire into the industry, that show.

You want a job in film, do you? Take it off. You can be in Spartacus, but you're going to need to get those clothes drawn off. Mike, a little fun fact about that. My friend was the Merkin girl on that set who had to glue on all the fake pubes on the boys and the girls. Did they not come with pubes?

They needed extra. It was filmed, you know, in, I don't know, 10, 15 years ago, where removing pubic hair was more of a trend. And back in the Spartacus days, there was a lot of bush. So they had to add bush. And so my friend was the little pube fluffer. So Lucy Lawless would rock in and she'd be like,

hold on, Lucy, I'll get yours. It's somewhere here. Did you do a little file of facts? She's got a filing cabinet of pubes. Truly, my friend, she'll be like, I don't know, see, I'll get yours. It's somewhere here. Did you do this through a little filer face? She's got a filing cabinet of pubes. Truly, my friend, she'll be listening, Shari. And she did the little pubes on the boys.

Wow. They'd put their little flapper in front of her. Would they just like put the undies down a little bit? Well, you have a modesty sock to start and then you'd put...

How does that... It's not enough. I've seen the modesty sock. It's not enough. There's not enough. It's basically a condom with straps and then you stick it on with your little glue

and then they make it look like real pubes. Fascinating. Every time I see pubes on the screen now I'm going to be like, are they real? We're shawry, shawry. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast why not give ZM's Free and Clint a listen too. Subscribe on the Shara, Shari.