ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 19th May 2021

Episode Date: May 18, 2021

Vaughans Lookalike  The Return of the Bebo  Top 6: Jenny  Fletch the Hand Model  Community Notices!  How did you make your ex jealous? Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern!  Should I Feel Guilty!?  Jared the InfluencerFact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Fawn and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by five McCafe coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app and you're here on the podcast. But behind the scenes, Megan's still dealing with the fact that she is the personification of Chugi. Yeah. Just everything I look at now, I'm like, oh, someone will say that's Chugi. She took a test and she came back Chugi. Yeah.

I'm sorry. Who wrote that list? Her doctor sat her down and said, I've got terrible news. You've come back positive for Chuggy. A list? Who did the list of spin-offs? Yeah, you were reading some. Viva.

Viva did the list. And it was basically. Newspapers at Chuggy. Yeah, am I right? They looked at Megan and they wrote the list on that, based on that. Excuse my. Hair straighteners. Hair straighteners.

Also, I still feel like we're at the stage Where the word choogy needs an explanation Almost every time we talk about it Even though it's been around for years the word itself But the definition The thing was the girl that invented it Invented it in their senior year in 2012 So 10 years ago she was 18

She's 28 now she's probably choogy She apparently came up with this word to describe people that were just trying too hard. And now it's taken on this, like, morphed meaning of things people do that are trying too hard. Yeah. And maybe, you know. She was a student at Beverly Hills High School.

I mean, is that not ironic? Chug-a. So she would have been like, oh, my God, that's so chuggy. But yeah, everything's chuggy now. And then Executive Internania just came in and tried to tell us we should tell everybody about Jennifer Love Hewitt having her third child. And we're like, a lot of people wouldn't even know who that is. And then we called her chuggy.

I know what you did last summer. That's right. Scream? Was she in The Scream? No, that's Neve Campbell. I know what you did last summer That's right Scream was she in the Scream? No that's Neve Campbell I know what you did last summer Yeah that's right I still know what you did last summer Didn't she have a song as well?

Didn't she try her hand at a musical career? No she did have a song Turn your thingy up It was very big Have you found it or shall I find it? I'm looking let's see who found it first Jennifer Love Hewitt It was called What was it you found it or shall I find it? I'm looking. Let's see who will find it first. Jennifer Love Hewitt. It was called, what was it called?

No Ordinary Love. Hold on, these are the ones. Nah, nah, nah. It's her biggest song. Bare Naked. Bare Naked. I'm a Woman. Oh my God.

How Do I Deal. How Do I Deal. That's only hit 800,000 plays. Yeah, this song. Oh man, it would have came out ages before Spotify, right? Yeah. Go to the chorus. Go to the chorus.

I don't remember this. Me. Real Leigh-Anne Rimes wannabe there, right? Yeah. This is how Stacey and Rico. It was in one of the scary movies, like the I Know What You Did Last Summer. Right, right. Yeah. This is how Stacey and Rico. It was in one of the scary movies, like the I Know What You Did Last Summer. Right. Okay.

Has a real Mandy Moore, Vanessa Carlton. Yeah, that was that time. Jennifer Page. Yeah, it was that time. Jennifer Page. Jennifer Page sung this song. Oh, it's a good song. This would be a good Friday flashback for tomorrow crash I've done it

I did it, yeah It's just a little crash I preferred Can't Fight the Moonlight from Leanne Rimes You couldn't beat that banger This could be your drag song, Vaughn Yeah, we were talking about Vaughn's drag song. No, it's still Christina Aguilera. Candyman, yeah.

What was the song we were saying would be yours? Ariana and Lady Gaga. Rain On Me. That's what it is. Everybody's doing that now. Very cliche. Everybody's doing that. This had everything.

Actually, the song I'm going to do for Friday Flashback has been on RuPaul's Drag Race, and I was like, mm-hmm, we need this. Yes. Such a good song. I met him up for dinner on a Friday night. He really had me working up an appetite. He had tattoos up and down his arm.

There's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm. He's a one-stop shop who makes your panties dry. He's a sweet-talking sugar boy. I'm saying... Whoa. Well, one time she says her panties drop and the next time she talks about her cherry pop. This song's chewy. Well, I don't want any part of it then. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

I can't believe Jenny's retired. What if she's resigned and discussed by the sound? At the NHS. Yeah, this was the nurse. She saved Boris Johnson's stupid little hairdo. Chud-ay. Chud-ay. Wonder if she's moving back home. Don't I?

Well, I've just been inspired on the spot. I'm changing to today's top six. The top six things Jenny could do next. Jenny the nurse after she's resigned

and discussed from the NHS. I know the big plans of the top six, those have been shelved. This is what we call spontaneous broadcasting. The Prime Minister joins us on the show this morning.

I'll be getting a vibe check. Quarter to eight. I'll be getting a vibe check for the nation. Is this a thing now? Yeah. Right, okay. Just to get a vibe check, Megan. You know, you kind of want to know, there's stats and stuff,

but what about a vibe? Just a vibe. Just a vibe attracts your tribe. Your chance to win this morning on the show. Are you embarrassed you said that? Absolutely not. You are. Because I said it on purpose.

A little bit. On the show this morning, your chance to win at eight, add to cart. And then we kick off the Ticket Blitz today for Drax Project. And Mitch James tickets every single hour between 8 and 5. Your chance to win. So they are going on tour around the country June and July. And yeah, we have your chance to win tickets today every hour. Next on the show, Vaughan, there's somebody that looks like you.

Yeah. I haven't managed to Google successfully this person yet. I don't know if it will work on the work Wi-Fi. Is that why? I think it will do. I think it should do. At least for the Google search part. Just for a face.

Just for a face. I did not know that this was a thing. Okay. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Last night, Have You Been Paying Attention was on. Joe Damon, a New Zealand comedian, was on for the first time. He put up a photo on Instagram of everybody that was on

and said, my first time on Have You Been Paying Attention. They were very complimentary saying, congratulations, blah, blah, blah. Well done. Great to see it. One of his friends wrote, why Vaughn be looking like Johnny Sims? Johnny Sims. Sims. That's why I found it because you were saying Sims, but it's Sims like you've been sinning.

So why Vaughn be looking like Johnny Sims? And I was like, who the hell is Johnny Sins? I assume, I get this a lot, if the dude's bald with a beard, I'll get dragged into it. Yeah, right. For that,

it looks like Vaughn. Or in winter, when people are wearing beanies and they have a beard. Beanies and beard, 100%. They don't even need to be bald. And people will say to me,

this guy looks so much like Vaughn. I'm like, no, he doesn't. That's all that's uncommon is a beard and a beanie or a beard and a bald. Well, Johnny Sins is a porn star. Because I had to Google. And Johnny Sins is just a bald porn star who also happens to have facial hair sometimes. Out of 10, Megan, you've just Googled.

What am I attending? Oh, just the face. Not really. Okay, Megan's going down for what's on her screen on the company Wi-Fi. His wife doesn't look anything like my wife. Wow. But yeah, and so I didn't know. And I honestly don't think I do, apart from the fact that he's bald and some of the times. I feel like you and, as it's been Barrington, like the three of you could be brothers. I'll take it as high praise,

because one of these photos I'm looking at, he's got his shirt off. I haven't seen his penis yet. Megan has. Is it a whopper? It's like 10 past 6. off. I haven't seen his penis yet. Megan has. Is it a whopper? Ten past six. It's too early to see that, is it? Yeah, right. Okay.

Yeah, so you definitely look more like Ben Barrington from Shortland Street than this guy. Yeah. Basically, it would be a Pokemon evolution. I'm the first Pokemon. Like the one that's, you know, it's a starter Pokemon. And then I evolved to Ben Barrington.

And then Ben Barrington evolves to Johnny Sins. That would explain that. The evolution. Yeah. They get bigger. They get bigger over the... I was thinking comparing you to the Hemsworths. And you're the...

Oh, no, don't say you're Barry. What's his name? Luke Hemsworth. Luke Hemsworth. I'd be happy with Luke Hemsworth. No. Luke, no, don't say you're Barry. What's his name? Luke Hemsworth. Luke Hemsworth. I'd be happy with Luke Hemsworth. No. Luke, Liam and Chris. Yeah.

He's Chris. He's the Chris. You're the Luke. Really? You don't do a bit of that. What? That. No, I'm just saying, like, he's the...

Don't... I don't want to comment on it. It's got a definitive porn star look to him. He does. Yeah, right. He likes, as apparently... Because then I got kind of... Like, I said't want to comment on it. It's got a definitive porn star look to him. He does. Yeah, right. Pornal likes is apparently, because then I got kind of, like I said to Shade, look at this, and she was like laughing, and I was talking about like, is this like pornal likes? And then I googled like pornal likes.

Yeah. And it's a thing. Oh yeah, it's like a whole industry, isn't it? Within the industry. Yeah. When porn stars look a little bit like a celebrity, they kind of base their porn name off the celebrity they look a little bit like. But enough to skirt

copyrights and like defamation or whatever you would sue them for. That's when you know you've made it. When you've got somebody that's your porno-like. Yeah. Well, you've made it. I've got a porno-like. You've got a porno-like. But then in saying this, when this dude's clean shaven, he could be your porno-like. Oh, okay. He's literally just a bald dude. Just You've got a porno like. But then in saying this, when this dude's clean shaven, he could be your porno like. Oh, okay.

He's literally just a bald dude. I'm just a bald guy. Okay, all right. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. For the first time, food delivery has overtaken rides as Uber's biggest revenue driver. This is in the Asia Pacific, so this is us. Yeah.

In like down under Asia Pacific, more people get Uber Eats than they do Uber Rides. Uber Rides. Wouldn't that be the case for a lot of the world that are still kind of in various stages of lockdown? Not too many people would be catching Ubers. Well, yeah, true. We're eating, but we're not going anywhere.

Yeah. Because I use Uber Eats, but I very rarely would get an Uber. What do you get on Uber Eats? There's like only three things. Not many options out our way, eh? Yeah. Because I use Uber Eats, but I very rarely would get Uber. What do you get on Uber Eats? There's like only three things. Not many options out at Y.A. Yeah. There's like, I'm, the intersection just down the road is the end of the Uber Eats zone.

So if I wanted Uber Eats, I'd have to walk like a few hundred meters to meet the Uber Eats. Oh no, that's not on. That's not happening. I'm not walking. It kind of defeats the purpose. Yeah, I was just kidding. You're going to go there in your pajamas. But then also the selection of what we can get for Uber Eats is next in line.

Yeah, but what's more effort walking or driving 200 metres to that pickup point or going in to get actual food? Well, see, once I'm in a car, though, and I know that there's more variety, I'm just on board for more variety. Yeah, right. Okay. That's interesting that that's overtaken The actual rides Yeah

But in So in New Zealand In just four years 52% of the company's Local business Is Uber Eats So in New Zealand Just ahead

Uber Eats Wow Then rides But speaking of Uber I've been away A couple of weekends And so I've got Uber, Zoomy, Ola

You've got all of Zoomy, Ola. You've got all of them. And there's another one as well. Someone told me about another one. Ryder, is it? Okay. And what I do is I open all three, and I make them have a competition against each other.

But what I've noticed is one of them, and I can't remember which one, the people can accept their next job while they're still on their last job. So they'll accept your job, but then you just watch them drive away from you. Yeah, Uber does that sometimes. Yeah, you're like, where are you going? Message driver, where are you going?

And they're like, be there, turning around in a few minutes. It's like, oh, no, I'm not waiting for you to drop them off. Don't accept the job until you're ready to pick me up. I'm not watching you drive further away. Yeah, because it feels like they're cheating on you. Yeah, because the little estimated time till they get to you is based on how far they are from you. So you're just watching the time

tick up. Because have you been in a Uber or whatever when they accept the next one and you're like, we're not finished. I know, we are not finished. I need to cross over. Don't start flirting with someone else. No, but then if you were them you'd be wanting the next job straight away.

You want no gaps. Yeah. Because you're making the money. No gaps. No gaps. No gaps. Flesh, Fawn and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. Guys, apparently we'll bust out the Big Hoop earrings and get ready to distribute your three hearts for the day because Bebo is back, baby. That literally was my profile picture. I had massive hoop earrings on. Little Megs. And my Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses. Yeah, you were Little Megs.

That wasn't your Bebo username. Little Megs. Yeah. What a time to be alive. Little Megs. I went to the hip-hop station. Little Megs. That was your hip-hop phase, wasn't it? Yeah. to be alive. No maids! I went to the hip hop station. No maids! That was your hip hop phase,

wasn't it? Yeah. Apparently Bebo is back and it has a new approach to social platforming. It's invite only. The website states, to join Bebo,

you must be nominated by another Bebo member. Bebo. Meme. All new members are able to nominate seven new members. So it sounds like that thing where they're creating false exclusivity because every person gets to invite seven.

That's like a chain mail sort of thing. Invite seven friends or your mum will die or something like that. Some chain leader nonsense. Your own reputation within the community is determined by the subsequent reputation of those you nominate. So if you invite someone and then they are a

nefarious character. A poo bum. Yep, a poo bum. That reflects badly on you. Right. So basically, you're their parent. Yeah, okay.

Please only invite others who you know well and are confident will enhance the community. Additional nominations will be given at our discretion. Huh. Huh.

Yeah. So, I mean, I'd be happy to nominate all of my friends. I know they'd be great, but you wouldn't nominate your racist aunt. Not that I have racist aunties or uncles or family members, but, you know, you'd be pretty careful, wouldn't you? So all the old accounts are deleted and everything's gone. Oh, so you can't log into your account from like... No, you can't log into your old account from 2006.

It's probably for the best. Yeah. So that's their way of trying to make it a different social media platform because they want it to be positive and engaging and supportive, not just a cesspit. But that's the thing, you... You might invite someone who's been good, but

if they see something on there that they disagree with, and then it starts, and then it just goes to bloop again. How does it come back on you? Do they ban you? I don't know. If your friends are misbehaving on the platform. I don't know. So they say anything considered hate speech,

hate speech, hate speech, prejudice. That was what I was. I was getting ready for the S at the end of prejudice, and I wasn't doing the S at the end of speech. Hate speech, prejudice, or discrimination. So that's on age, ancestry, color, disability, gender, gender identity, or expression, race, religion, or sexual orientation. Any prejudice will see your membership deleted.

If you nominate or are friends with those whose membership are deleted, yours may also be deleted. Choose your friends wisely. But that's like when you're on Facebook and you've got friends and then all of a sudden some of them rolls up some terrible opinion and you're like, wow, I didn't know that about you. You don't always know that they you. You know? Yeah.

You don't always know that they're hiding their bigotry. If you only had seven friends to invite, you'd know you'd choose seven good people, right? Yeah. Mmm. Interesting. Hmm. I'm assuming you get like quite a few warnings, right?

Then you just ditch your... I don't know how many warnings you get. This sounds pretty cut and dry, doesn't it? Well, it's back. And then are they still going to have loved, like the little hearts to give every day? I hope so. Because that was one of the big things, wasn't it?

Can you give me your love? Yeah. Give me your love for today. When you've got a partner. Can you imagine the heat Andrew would get if he gave his love to somebody else? God, Megan would be, oh, look at the eyebrows.

The eyebrows. Wow. Lucky he was only about four. Who's that girl? Lucky he was only about four years old when Bebo was around the first time. Oh, funny because it's true. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

From the rat-infested ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there, Jenny. Remember Jenny? Jenny, the nurse from Invercargill, New Zealand. So proud during the pandemic. She helped Boris Johnson. Looked after that floppy head fool. I think she had to sponge bath him too.

Did she get a name drop from him? She got a special shout out. Yeah, she did get a special shout out. Did she get a medal or something? And even afterwards, yeah, she was invited to parliament. There's a photo here with her, with Boris Johnson receiving something,

having a cup of tea. But she has resigned from the NHS over lack of respect for NHS workers. Well, they've absolutely been on the coalface of this whole pandemic. For how long? Yeah. Yeah. Doing a fantastic job.

England's, you know, they're back in the pubs, the eateries, hugging's back allowed, et cetera. But now there has been a couple of cases of the Indian strain of COVID-19, which is worse again, apparently, than the South African and the Indian strain of COVID-19, which is worse again, apparently, than the South African and the UK strand. So... Great. She's resigned.

And right, fair enough. Yeah. Lack of respect there. So I've got the top six things Jenny the nurse can do next. Okay. Number six on the list of the top six things Jenny the nurse can do next. She can fool you

with the rocks that she's got. Because she's still Jenny from the block. Starting strong. Starting the top six strong. The top six things Jenny the nurse can do next after leaving the NHS.

Number five, she can tell Forrest to run. Run, Forrest, run. I love you, old judd-eye. She saved a Prime Minister, Vaughan. Yeah. She needs more respect than this. This is great. I'm just offering. Okay.

Top six things Jenny the Nurse can do next after resigning from the NHS. She can be a supernatural creature from pre-Islamic Arabia and later Islamic mythology and theology. Often trapped in a lamp or oil lamp, freed by rubbing their housing and granting the rubber a series of three wishes, she could be a Jenny of the lamp. Oh, that's a stretch. Number three on the list of the... You change the other top six for this.

Spied spontaneous broadcasting. Number three on the list of the top six things Jenny the nurse can do next. She could become a New Zealand publicly listed electricity generation and electricity, natural gas and LPG retailing company and call herself Genesis Energy. This is really tickling me.

She's loving it. She's loving it. She's short on sleep, though. Yeah. She's an easy audience. It's working in your favor. My humor does not appeal to anybody apart from the sleep deprived. I'm more than happy.

Have you seen how, like, the world on a whole, everybody's sleep deprived? It's a hell of a time to from the sleep deprived. I'm more than happy. Have you seen how like the world on a whole, everybody's sleep deprived. It's a hell of a time to be in sleep deprived comedy. Jenny Sis. Jenny Sis Energy. I really liked that one. Number two on the list

of the top six things Jenny the nurse can do next. She can help people lose weight with convenience. Snap, frozen, dietician design, portion control, meals delivered to your door.

She could be Jenny Craig. And number one on the list of the top six things Jenny the nurse can do next after resigning from the NHS due to lack of respect for nurses. She can lie down in groups of three with other Jennys, then stack three more Jennys on top of those Jennys at a 90-degree angle, and then do that again and again and again and again

until there's a big stack of jennies and then take one jenny at a time and stack that jenny on the top of the other jennies on the top and call the game Jenny-ga. Jenny-ga. I think that's the most laughs you've got from Megan for a top six ever. It's my favourite one though.

That's today's laughs you've got from Megan for a top six ever. It's my favourite one. That's today's Jenny Gar. Yow! That is today's top six. Yesterday on the show, we said that you should have chicken salt in the car. We just kind of like stumbled across this legendary idea. This guy gets unsalted chips because it ensures the fact that they're freshly cooked when he goes through a drive-thru.

And then you ask for the salt and because they have to specially make them unsalted they're always hotter so they last longer. So then we said you should have chicken salt in your car so then you can add chicken salt, the superior salt when it comes to flavouring fries

like a little one of those master foods jars yeah shake it and then hang it hang out the window shake it on the chip

so that no excess salt falls in your car that's outside's problem now and then put that back in your in your glove box yep and you're happy as Larry

now after the show we were like have we stumbled across the next great in-car accessory, the in-car spice rack? So we've got the wheels are in motion for the next long weekend group two. Which is Queen's birthday, what, in three weeks?

So not the end of next week, but the week after. The 4th of June. Yeah, Monday the 7th. The weekend of the 4th of June is Queen's birthday. We're thinking everybody that participates in and successfully toots the long weekend group toot wins themselves a Fletch, Wannamig, and Incar

spice rack. Including and I'm trying to, I'm shaking the tree and seeing what falls. Including spices. Because also somebody mentioned hundreds and thousands for the dessert. For the dessert. Totally.

For soft serves, sundaes. And again, out the window, shake it. That's outside the problem now. And now you've got hundreds and thousands. This is a great idea. It's a great idea. We probably will in the lead up to our long weekend group have to decide on what spices fill, at this stage,

the four spaces of the in-car spice rack. Oh, my God. We talked about this yesterday, and this is going to sound like in some way set up, but Macca's have launched their new Macca's chicken range with a chicken salt sachet. We literally saw that today. We literally have just seen that today.

We just went and sent it by Carwain. Unbelievable. That moved quick on this because they've stolen our idea. I mean. Usually big multinationals take a long, it's like a big cargo ship. Once it gets started, it's impossible to stop, but it takes a long time to make a pivot. I don't. Or a turn.

I don't think a giant. They've done very well to copy us this quickly. A giant multinationals turning around an idea in a day. Yeah, wow. With the marketing and everything. And the sachets. And the packets printed really quick. Yeah. To be honest, that is a small packet of chicken salt. A giant multinational is turning around an idea in a day with the marketing and everything. And the sachets. And the packets printed really quick. To be honest, that is a small packet of chicken salt.

Yeah. Maybe better to get a little extra chicken salt on the task. So anyway, we're working on that. So we're trying to find the perfect in-car spice rack. Now yesterday, Fletch, what shop did you go to? Oh my God, I went to a lot. I went to one of the Japan marts. Japan mart, yeah.

I went to Look Sharp. I went to one of the Japan marts. Japan mart, yeah. I went to Look Sharp. I went to the warehouse. Oh gosh. So I went to York after the gym. They were all on the way home, so just having a look. And there's lots of different like caddy options. Like a lot of them double as shower caddies. Yeah.

It's not going to fit well in the glove box though, is it? Yeah. They hang on the back of like a cupboard door. They go over the top and they're very thin at the top. Well, some of them had suction cups, but I don't know if you could suction cup that to the window and then just have the spices kind of on an angle. Would that work?

Maybe not the window, but I'm wondering if there's other sort of like flat, non-patterned surfaces to a car that an adhesive suction cup could stick to. Maybe on the driver's side, but then you'd block out your mirror. Yeah, you want to put your arm up there. Yeah, yeah. And you can't have it on the windscreen. Yeah.

That would be blocking your view. Well, I've sent through some options. Some options, but I was sending that through. It's been noted, Jared actually picked this up. Okay. The rest of us have agreed. You've got almost hand model type cuticles. Oh wow, that's a compliment.

I've never actually noticed before but you have well trimmed nails, very clean and cuticles are amazing. Yeah, well I don't get the, what is it, the mani-pedi. I don't get a mani. I don't get a mani, no. So you don't get any sort of cuticle maintenance? No. You don't

maintain yourself? Push them back? Do of cuticle maintenance? No. You didn't maintain yourself? Yeah. Push them back? Do you push them back? No. Just every now and again I'll get the clippers out. You clip your fingernails. Yeah.

But you've just been blessed with lovely cuticles. And lovely cuticles. Do you think that this could finally kickstart my modelling career? Because, you know, I've been trying to get that off the ground forever. Yeah. Yeah. And I've said the problem is you keep trying to include your face.

You need to concentrate specifically on your strong points. Well, maybe this, could I be like a hand drill model for like a Mitre 10 catalogue? Imagine that. You could be. Because they don't see the rest of me,

so they don't, they're not like, that guy wouldn't use a drill. Yeah. But I've got the hand that looks like I'd use a drill. I know you don't have the hand that looks like it uses a drill. Absolutely I do.'ve got the hand that looks like I'd use a drill. I know you don't have the hand that looks like it uses a drill.

Absolutely I do. No, no, no, no, no. Is this too beautiful? It's untouched. Yeah, but they don't put yucky tradie hands in. Yeah, they put yucky tradie hands in to sell a drill. Oh, do they? I can put a bit of concrete on my hands.

Put a bit of a wood chip. A wood chip. And a scratch. Get a scratch. Some grease. Yeah, put some grease on your fingers. Some dirt. To make it look like you're using the drill for something.

I was just googling how you become one. Someone said they earn $75,000 a year being a hand model. Oh, this is it. That's a great little earner. That's a great little side earner. Good lord. You could do rings. Male rings. So you could do male rings. Yeah, right. You could do

jewellery. Watches even perhaps. Yeah, would you become a hand model? No, I don't think. Well, right. You could do jewellery. Watches. Not even perhaps. Yeah, would you become a hand model? No, I don't think. Well, no. I mean, they're nothing on your hands. They're short, aren't they? Excuse me. You could model pianos because you've got quite long fingers.

Oh, yes. You could model Casio keyboards. I mean, I don't know how to. It would have to be a still photo. Watches. Yeah, I could do a watch. Bluetooth keyboards for computers. Sure.

And the accompanying mouse. This is it. Well, maybe you should be my agent. Your hand agent. Yeah. How much is your cut, though? 80%. Ah, that's...

I'm doing a lot of... I'm just thinking more like 2%. 2%, that's not nearly enough for my expertise. Well, 2% of 70,000. I will need to know what your hands are up to at all times, though. We'll need to insure your hands. Things there from the gym. Calluses.

Calluses. So I'm not going to be a palm model. I need you to moisturise. Okay. Heavily. Keep the money makers in tip-top shape. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices,

a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. You've got to string cap them. Yeah, so if you see... We can't get into these private community pages. We've got to answer three questions. Oh, yeah. A lot of them are set up now.

I'll get sent a link and I'll try to join And it'll say What road do you live on in? Yeah What community advance Do you take part in? And there's always questions now Yeah So you screen cap them

Send them to us We have a look Let's pop to the Palmerston North community page Where the person Who submitted this Wishes to remain unnamed Okay And the person who Posted wishes to remain unnamed.

Okay. And the person who posted it on the page also. But if anyone in the Milsen area is missing their underwear, I'm sorry to say, but it's probably my cat Lithium who's stolen them. It's a common thing, isn't it, cats, to do this? I found at least six bits of underwear and socks around my house, which I've thoroughly questioned my flatmates about, but apparently they aren't there,

so I'm assuming it's some poor soul who lives near me. I'm trying to stop his bad habit, but I've had no luck so far. Again, I'm sorry if you've lost any underwear. Let me know. See if I've got it. How do you unteach a cat? Spray it with water every time it's got undies in its mouth? Yeah.

Your dog eats them. Yeah. Still eating them? No. Eating any lately? No. You're using a laundry basket now, aren't you? Yes, and they're not ending up on four ever.

Don't hit the dog in. Next post, I don't know what page this came from. They've blanked that out at the time, maybe to predict their community. Okay. But you may recognise it by the name of the park because Blair writes, a shovel and a glove have been found down here at Wake Park. I'm thinking a shallow grave in the bushes there somewhere. If anybody's been reported missing in the last 24 hours.

Not a bad-looking shovel, to be fair. I'd nab it, but I've already got a good shovel. But if you're down a shovel and a glove, it's down the park. And the shovel's in the ground, and the glove's beside it. If you were burying a body, you're not going to leave the shovel. Don't leave the shovel. It's a big glove. No.

Or the glove. It is a good looking shovel though because it's like sort of a spade length handle with the hoop on the end. Get a handle grip in there for a good bit of... You can do it in the ground

or you can do the shovel and it's got a shovel head on it. Oh yeah. The rounded head. I don't know if I could... It's a good shovel. If I'd had the stamina to do a whole grave. I'd have to hire a digger.

I'd have to hire a digger for... Yeah. But then how do you get that into the middle of nowhere? Yeah, and then you've left a big paper trail. If they start looking into you, they'll be like, why did you hire a digger from Hyapool? Yeah, like day four of your high court proceedings, the Hyapool invoice comes out. Yeah. And they've got a GPS tracker on most of that expensive equipment. Oh, like day four of your high court proceedings, the higher pool invoice comes out. Yeah.

And they've got a GPS tracker on most of that expensive equipment. Oh, do they? Oh, okay. So they follow that and find the... God, it's just almost... Deep, thorough grave you've done. ...not doing it, is it? Yeah, maybe murder's not for you. It's a lot of admin.

It's a lot of admin. Screw, screw, screw. And always looking over your shoulder. Oh. Constantly worried about when it's going to catch up with you. Antonia writes on the Birkenhead and Northcote community page. To the person with the outside car megaphone who drives around Northcote every single day. Why do people do that?

Sister, I live in the city. I feel your pain every night. Blasting the Tereo rendition of Sway by Bikronga. What a song. No, I don't get that rendition. Yeah, we recently jumped off the Southern Motorway on the way to my parents' place to get something to eat in Takanini. And someone was following us down the road with one of these,

and it's the first time the girls have seen it. They're like, why is he doing it? I was like, I don't know. I can't tell you. That's the big question. You want to hear what they're listening to? One thing I did notice was when this guy that we were, that was following us was doing it, when people were walking along the street,

he'd flick it on as he went past to sort of scare them. Yeah. That's the vibe. Is it illegal to have speakers on the outside of your car? God, I just want to. Well, it's disturbing the peace, right? Yeah, I just, I get so raged sometimes. I want to bazooka them.

There was a thing saying you can report their number plates. Oh, right. I remember because. But what's going to, I mean, they don't even come from burglaries. They're not going to go around to someone's house. Excuse me, have you been turning your speaker up? Have you got an outside speaker? But no, but the thing is they could, because a lot of the time the speakers are just stolen

from like schools. They're like the fire alarm speaker. That's why it sounds so tinny and horrible. It's not a proper speaker. It's just supposed to be as loud as possible.

Yeah. So sometimes they could get them on stolen property because obviously stealing a fire alarm from a school, pretty problematic. Yeah. Should there be a fire and the children

aren't alerted to it? So they say the Toreo version of Sway by Bitgrunga. Could you pick a new song or at least play the whole thing not just the start of the chorus? I think it should be legal if somebody's playing music on a speaker like that, you should be able to put a brick

through the windscreen. It's like tit for tat. Yeah, it's even. Yeah. They're breaking the law. I broke the law. Yeah. But it cancels each other out.

You're very violent. You've gone from bazooka to brick. Yeah. He's turning it down. It's hard for me to find a bazooka. Okay. It is quite hard to find a bazooka. I think I'd have to hire that digger to bury their car and then.

Oh, that's, and then you'd need the bigger digger because you're not going to be able to do that with the small, like, hobby-sized digger to bury their car and them. Oh, that's, and then you'd need the bigger digger because you're not going to be able to do that with the small like hobby sized digger. And then they have to wait for the foliage to grow back over, otherwise it'll be easy to find. I'd maybe spread some seeds on top just to encourage foliage growth. Well, if any of these boy racers and their loudspeakers

go missing, I'm obviously suspect number one. Yeah, you and that high pool digger that you keep hiring every couple of weeks for your latest murderous rampage. Alright guys, I'll get the noise down eventually.

Next post comes to us, I don't know what page this comes from, this has been blanked out by the person that sent it in.

Hey fam, my youngest son was born with six toes on one foot. He got removed about a year ago and it's in the fridge in the stuff that I was's in the fridge and the stuff

that I was given in the hospital. So maybe some sort of preservative juice. Would you have got rid of the little toe at the end? I guess they make

a judgment call but yeah, maybe one of the toes on the end. Wow. Does anyone know if I can like poxy resin

to set it in to make it a necklace or a keychain? I want to gift it to my boyfriend. Wow. Is that a joke? I don't know.

I mean, I've seen many things resined on the internet. Me too. I love watching the resin videos. I'm all for filling a hole with ramen noodles and resining it and, you know, sanding it and painting it, but not a toe. Get a grip. Would that preserve it enough? Well, no.

Oxygen could get to it, I suppose. I don't know about reasoning. Yuck. That is disgusting. Throw it out. How do they let you take a toe home? I'm sorry. Because it's your body part.

You're allowed to take anything that they take off your body. No, there should be a rule. Or you're saying if they took your leg and you're like, I'd like to take that home. Yeah. No, it's the giving it to the boyfriend as a necklace that's my problem with that. I'd be all for it. I mean, yeah. If I had a toe removed, I'd be all for

having it set in resin. I want her to do it just to I want the boyfriend's reaction. I'd make it, I'd resin it and make a light switch out of it. Then you're using it every day. Just flick the lights on. Flick the switch. Flick the toe.

That's a toe. Imagine that. A little toe to turn on the lounge lights. People are weird. Yep. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, you can screen cap it and send it to Wowswear FVM ZM

on Facebook. Flesh Fauna Megan, the podcast ZM. This is crazy. Someone has gone to massive lengths to make an ex jealous. So they broke up. This is shared on TikTok and now the story has come out like a deep dive.

So the shallow dive on TikTok is a chick saying, remembering the time when I faked getting married and had a photo shoot to get revenge on my ex and shared a couple of photos of, yeah, it's like her getting married. Now. Why would he care?

This is a lot of effort. So I don't actually, I haven't found why they broke up. So obviously if someone's going to this kind of length to make an ex jealous, they're the hurt one, right? Yeah. Like the ex dumped them. You know, they had a lot of feelings there and they obviously do not care and maybe they cheated and moved on or they just moved on.

Yeah. Yeah. So she's a German woman. She hired Villa Kennedy, which is this luxury hotel in Frankfurt. It's like a stone building. It's beautiful. I hate to think how much it would have cost. She had her friends involved. So there's a bridesmaid,

bridesmaid dresses. There's flowers. She's got a wedding gown. She hired a groom, an actor, to play her groom. And they got professional... Obviously a really hot one. Yeah, he play her groom. And they got professional. Obviously, you're like a really hot one. Yeah, he's pretty hot. Yeah, okay.

And they got professional photos taken. And she shared these photos. The thing is, like, you're duping him, fine. But, like, what about everyone else on your Facebook? Like, what about family members and your friends? Everyone's like, what are you doing here? Well, I guess you just take it down, right? You take them down once he's seen them. And then how do you explain it? Oh, no, everyone's like, what are you doing here? Well, I guess you just take it down, right? You take them down once he's seen them.

And then how do you explain it? Oh, no, it's just, I'm just doing that for my ex-boyfriend. I'm just a psycho. So, yeah. Maybe you can marry me one day. Yeah. So he bit

and the conversation has been shared. He said, are you serious? Did you cheat on me this whole time? Who the, is he? Miss call, miss call, miss call, miss call. She said, think whatever you want. I don't care. And he said, are you serious? Did you cheat on me this whole time? Who is he? Miss call, miss call, miss call, miss call. She said, think whatever you want.

I don't care. And he said, with me, you needed time to get engaged, but you married him three months later. So this was three months after they broke up. But does it sound from that that he broke up with her? He maybe proposed and she said, no, we need more time together or something, which was the start of the end. And then he said, well, you're just making everyone think you were cheating on me.

Were you with him when we were together? She said, think what you want. I don't care. So, I mean, he's jealous, kind of, and confused. Man, people just really hold on to things, eh? I'm just thinking, like, the money. I mean, weddings are expensive anyway, but she faked one. But I've always said if I won Lotto, I'd do things like this just for pure entertainment.

It's like if someone was to cut me off in a car and if I'd won $35 million in Lotto, I'd just keep going and give them a dent in their door just to deal with for the day. Yeah, put an admin to deal with. Yeah, because I wouldn't care. I've got $35 million. And I do stuff like this. I pretend to get married. I don't have $35 million, but that's how I drive.

I know you do. And you know what? People in nice cars tend to give way to the guy coming through hot in a Honda Accord that's seen better days. So we want to know this morning what you've done to make an ex jealous. Because maybe they wronged you, they cheated, or maybe they came crawling back after they cheated, and you were like, no, I'm going to teach you a lesson.

So it's not so much revenge, it's how did you make them jealous? Yeah, how did you get back? Well, maybe it was some revenge as well. But yeah, a lot of people, you know what the big one is, I reckon? Weight loss. Yeah, revenge box. Because it's also like for you, but it's also a great side effect as making them feel, especially if they've cheated on you

and they want you back. It's like, well, I'm hotter now, so. Suddenly out of your league, sweetheart. Yeah, yeah. We are talking about what you've done to make an ex jealous. Not saying it's always a great idea.

No. Sometimes, just put that stuff behind you and get on with life. Live your best life. Yeah. Not trying to make them jealous. You might make them jealous

as a nice little side to that. Yeah. This woman in Germany faked a whole wedding. Dress, bridesmaids, hired a venue, hired an actor groom. Yeah, that's a lot. But maybe he just deserved the payback, this guy. We don't know.

Maybe he was a jerk. Yeah. So we want to know what you've done to make an ex jealous. Anonymous, what happened? They cheated on me. So that's all good um it pretty much changed who i was as a person um i got made redundant last year and i got an amazing job in the waikato and yeah so i'm helping feed kids in schools and i lost 20 kgs as well oh Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. Look at that. So you just, like, completely changed your life around. Overhaul.

Yeah, so not many people do, but I thank the person. Yeah, right. Okay. You'd be surprised how many people have kind of messaged in without saying so much as, I thank the person, but, like, breaking up with them was what I needed to make more of a go of who I actually wanted to be. Totally. And do you know if they've, like, have they said things to friends?

What was that, sorry? Have they said anything to friends that you've gone like, huh? Not that I'm aware of, but I've kind of eliminated that from my life. Yeah. But I think going through a COVID breakup was probably one of the best things that's ever happened to me. So, yeah. Yeah, right.

Or take the positives out of it. Yeah, brilliant. Anonymous, thank you. Some text messages in. Someone said, tummy tuck, breast lift, and a designer vagina. Wow. I just, right, okay. Yeah.

You pick that out of the catalog. What does a designer vagina involve? Yeah, do you pick it out of a catalogue? Full reno. Full reno, maybe. Landscaping. Yeah. Every structure.

Your kitchen. Get rid of that. Might have been a leaky home. Get rid of the plaster cladding. Yeah. Get yourself a nice weatherboard. Or maybe brick. Maybe bricks and all your thing.

Last long, I want to wear a tear of brick. I know. Do you just go through a catalogue? Well, that's a nice one. That one. I don't know. And is it exterior or an interior renovation? Or is it exterior or interior?

I don't know. Well, anyway, that could actually be a good shallow dive, couldn't it? One day for the feature. Yeah. And who's the professional that says that's the, you know, that's the one? Also, you're doing that design of designer vagina to make your ex jealous, but then you'd have to accidentally send them a photo, wouldn't you? Look at this, Reno.

Yeah. Like a before and after, like they do on those ads, before and after. Yeah. Somebody said, when my ex cheated on me, we had to split half of our debt. Our debt was halved. Yeah. I've almost paid all of it off, and I know they've only made it larger. So, good.

They're a little bit pissy at the fact. They were the problem. Yeah, that sounds like they were the financially, you know, dependent person. When my first boyfriend ended things, I got back at him by wearing a really tight pair of jeans that made my bum look patchy to a party because I knew he was going to be at the party and I always knew he loved my booty.

Good, yep. Yeah. I took the dog in our breakup. Oh, yeah? That was a little bit to make the ex jealous. Bought a house by myself, married a hottie, and now dog has a new daddy. Yes. I wonder if they ever do that thing, you know, where,

have you seen that trend online with the dog? You put the dog in the middle and then the two owners run in different directions and you see which one the dog follows. Have you done that? Nah. My dog done that? Nah. My dog would go to Andrew. That sucks. It's the person who gives the most treats, right?

Yeah, I think it's the person who gives the most food. And the most walkies. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. There's been a study into how many hours parents spend taking their kids to sports practices and then maybe like staying at the practice or them watching the game. So the average parent spends six full days, 145 hours,

supporting their child's sporting ambitions. Is that per year? Each year. Is that New Zealand? This is New Zealand. This is a study. This was done. Milo did a local study.

A thousand New Zealanders with children aged between 4 and 16 took part in a survey. Wow. And yeah, this included driving children to practice, watching the games, at-home skills practice, and if you have to wash the team's uniform. Oh, yep. Right.

That's admin. Yeah. My girls are playing Right. That's admin. Yeah. My girls are playing two different sports this year. So they play hockey and soccer? Indy plays hockey and August plays soccer. Right. So Indy's is on Monday night, which is when we do have you paying attention,

so I haven't been able to go. But last year I coached. That's right, yeah. They didn't listen a lot. Maybe. Maybe dealing with children is not for me. But you see, that's a drive. She got player of the day last week.

What? Don't worry about it. Just first game. Didn't you just rotate that? Beg your pardon? They do. Yeah, they want everyone to feel special. When I was coach, I wasn't rotating.

I was just giving it to the kid that I thought was trying the hardest. And then someone was like, I think you're supposed to give all the kids a go. I was like, no. No, because that's teaching the shit ones that they're actually doing. Yeah, just carry on being shit and not listening and get a player of the day. What are you talking about? Yeah.

And we wonder why we've got the problems we've got now. Yeah. And then every Kiwi kid had a bloody Weet-Bix triathlon medal and they came last. Yeah. No. Participate. Give it a go But then

August got player of the day In her first soccer game as well I'm not saying they are Sports protégés But Well they're rotating it August A

Start over with A Yeah But then her team When you get player of the day The parents have to do Wash all the uniforms Oh that's And bring oranges the next week.

It's a lot to load on one parent. Tell her to be rubbish next week. don't you try. So, how often would you, so you've got Monday nights, and then there's, well see,

weeknights, I always played hockey growing up, and I don't know why, but hockey was always on a weeknight, when I was at school too. Okay. And so, to me,

and this sounds really selfish, and I've talked to friends who are parents, and they've got like three kids, playing three different sports, and they have to run around, they so to me, and this sounds really selfish, and I've talked to friends who are parents, and they've got like three kids playing three different sports, and they have to run around. They have to plan. Sometimes they split up. One parent will take this one, and they go, the whole weekend is chasing their kids playing sport.

I'm like, nah. The weekends are a sacred time. I don't want to be tied down to a Saturday morning. Yeah. You know? I'm tied to a Monday to Friday morning as it is. Yeah. I need to be tied down to a Saturday morning. I'm tied to a Monday to Friday morning as it is. I need to be a free agent come the weekends.

They were telling me how many hours they spent. That'd be way more than this. What's the average? Six hours? No. Six full days every year. I think that's per kid. It doesn't every kid you add out to another six full days

because you might be able to like, you know, spread time a bit more. Oh, we'd just get dropped off because we'd mostly play cricket. So like, no parent,

no parent is staying around for a whole cricket game. Especially when it's kids. A swing and a miss. Wide. A swing and a miss. But your mum likes cricket. Yeah, she loves cricket.

But no, Saturday morning she loves cricket. Not you, as it turns out. No, but Saturday morning's when she goes to Pack and Save and does the weekly shop. That seems like the worst time to go to Pack and Save, just by the way. No, that's when Bev goes. That's her Saturday morning Pack and Save shop.

But then she had to have meat in the car, so she couldn't stop on the way home. She had to get home and get the ice cream and the meat and the milk in the fridge. She'd drop us off, do the weekly shop and then come and pick us up. Right. So she might see a little bit at the end. Right. But also, like, remember I scored that try on the sideline once at Midget Rugby.

Yeah. And I think she was just too embarrassed. She was like, we're not watching this. He's rubbish. Yeah. He's not going to be an all black. Don't bother. Yeah.

Well, my mum used to Get told off And she got sent Off the call once For insubordination Oh your mum was the parent Insubordination She's the yelly

Runs down the sideline With you She didn't yell At the kid refs did she You know how there was No it was always at me It's always yelling at me She'd stand

I'd play netball Stand at the baseline Of the goal And just yell at me Until I got it in It was great So you're not missing out Yeah And look at you now It's your fight I'm short I'd play netball, stand at the baseline of the goal and just yell at me until I got it in. It was great. So you're not missing out.

Yeah. And look at you now, thriving in the netball arena. Silver burn. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. But we're joined on the phone this morning by the Prime Minister of New Zealand, Jacinda Ardern. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

Now, we're going to start. First of all, vibe check. Vibe check of the nation. Quick vibe check. Oh. Oh, we're going to start. Oh, first of all, vibe check. Vibe check of the nation. Quick vibe check. Oh. Oh, well, actually, yeah. Optimistic. Yes.

Good. Yeah, good vibe. Optimistic. That's a good vibe to have. Budget date. Well, we opened up to the Cook Islands this week. Yeah. Yes.

You know? So that's a very big deal in this world at the moment. Have you put in for an official visit to the Cook Islands? No, I have not. No. Can you just be like, business needs to be done? On Murray Beach. No, no, I am taking over some business leaders and a bit of a delegation to Australia sometime soon.

And we've got the Australian Prime Minister coming out here this month as well. Yeah, is there going to be a Yahoo in Queenstown like the rest of the Australians that are proposing to come across the ditch? No, I can tell you official dinners are definitely not akin to

a drink at the walkabout. Right, okay. And it's Budget Eve today, so Grant Robertson puts his stocking above the fireplace. He must be very excited. It's like Christmas for him. It is Christmas, isn't it? The ghost of Roger Douglas comes down the chimney.

Christmas for nerds is probably how I would describe it. Yeah, it is a very big deal. A lot of work goes into a budget and a lot of work by him particularly. Right, okay. Any tidbits, teasers? No, no. Hey, speaking of giving...

No, we haven't scheduled a pre-budget announcement for you this morning. I am sorry about that. But tomorrow, no one needs to wait that long. Okay, speaking of which, we can't get a tidbit out of her.

Tony Street punched me in the stomach in the kitchen the other day here at work. And then when I was on the ground gasping for air, she looked at me in the eyes and said, we got the exclusive on the Prime Minister's wedding. And then the last thing I remember is just this right hook straight to the face. She's very violent. She's very violent. And really rubbing it in our face. I wouldn't have put a note of fact about Tony Street.

I really wouldn't have put that. But I think the point Vaughan is making is that you've given wedding tidbits out to other radio shows, but nothing to us. We can't even get a budget tidbit. I feel like that's a really important point to make by accident. And so sometimes I've talked about things that I've already thought that I've told people. Clark has reminded me I have not. And so with a little passive aggression.

So I'm going to be really careful on that front from here on. Okay, just on an unrelated subject, do you have a favourite weekend, like in January or February? Is there any dates that feel special? Again, thank you for making it so obvious when you're trying to explain it. Very subtle. Very subtle.

Do you know what you're going to wear? I don't have it yet, if that's what you mean. I have an idea in my head. I probably need to do something about that. Okay, good. Who would you talk to? Jesus, Megan. Megan's

trying. We'll give you that. Now, yesterday, Prime Minister, the list came out. What do you call it? The list of all of your assets and gifts? The register? Pecuniary interests. Yes, and so every member of Parliament has to list, like, you know,

their property, their retirement schemes, the debts, any overseas... Yeah, this is something that we do to make sure that people, you know, people can have, you know, trust in the system. They know, they can see, you know, if any attempts have been made to gift things to politicians. It's all recorded, you know, who anyone owes debts to or who owes money to them if they're part of trusts or if they've been doing work for anyone else.

It's a transparent thing. Now, I see... This has actually put me off a life of politics. Yeah, Megan could be easily bought with some teeth whitening and some MyFood bags. Now, I see under your gifts, Prime Minister, you received a gift hamper from the ambassador of Cuba. Cuba, lovely.

Did that have cigars in it? I can't quite recall. I believe on one occasion at least, because it's not the first time, I believe on one occasion it has. Right. So it's gone to a room somewhere in the Beehive. Okay. Also loaned items from Juliet Hogan, Zoe and Morgan.

There were tickets to rugby games, cricket, and also the Elton John concert tickets. However, let us take you back. We've got a little bit of audio to play you here to remind you of something. Oh. audio to play you here to remind you of something. Oh, I feel like this would be a legitimate piece of decor for a carpeted garage.

For those listeners that can't see, it's a picture of Vaughan and I as 80s glam rockers on a couch. Delightful. I have no idea what I'll do with it. It's rather large for the listeners. It is over a metre in size. It's quite large for the listeners. It is over a metre in size. It's quite large.

Thank you. Not listed. The lovely big portrait, Fletcher and I gave you. Yeah. These are value thresholds. We have to list something. I believe we exceeded the value threshold. How much is it?

Because it was invaluable, I think, is what you're saying. Do you know what? I probably should, for full cover, should have listed it, but I wasn't clear on when you repurpose something, if you should list it then at that point. Because as you'll recall,

I was given some really good tips on how to use that canvas, and I may have taken that tip up. Right. So where is it currently? canvas and I may have taken that tip up. Right, what? Where is it currently? It is being used by me. It's like a paper...

Wow. Imagine a white roller, you roll over the whole thing and then she's got the black canvas. No, not white, black. Like a blackboard. Yeah, not white, black. Black. Oh, lovely. Like a blackboard. Okay. Yeah, it's a blackboard. And a very good one at that.

I like to imagine we were in this Aladdin's cave of gifts from the Cuban ambassador, like Fletch and I are in a room. No, you're being used. Wow. Okay. Well, that's fine. Which I would have thought you'd feel really good about. Well, reduce, reuse, recycle.

I'm all for, you know for upcycling and stuff. I want you to know that I personally did that as well. You personally painted over our faces. I'd like to think that some art historian in 200 years will layer it back and find us under that priceless artwork. Yeah. We could be a non-fungible token. That's all the rage.

Well, anyway, that's... I'm sorry, but given it came up as an idea on your show, I thought that that was a tip rather than... I can just imagine what Tony Street's going to say about this in the kitchen at work after work. I imagine there'll be more violence. Anyway, thanks

for the chat. We'll aim to give you a gift. So good, it makes the register next year. It's a good goal. How much do we need to aim for, price-wise? Invaluable, guys. Just make it invaluable. Okay.

I thought we had, but okay. So now you can paint all over it. Yeah. All right. Thanks for the chat. Obviously covered some pretty serious topics this morning. Hosking will be stoked. Sorry, guys.

Take care. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch Vaughan and Megan with her tan Bali sandals. Stop it. I feel that needs some explanation. There's a list of things that are choogy, and Megan owns like 80% of stuff on the list. Now, if you've never heard what choogy means, it just basically is try hard.

Don't straighten your hair anymore. You're choogy. Yeah. Piss off. Megan's had quite a reckoning this week with that list. When I see a list of things that the youngest end of the, what is the generation? Gen Z and below think are choogy, it's just like things their mum and dad refuse to pay for them for. Yeah.

And so they're like, well, I don't want it anyway because it's so choogy. What a very high pedestal those Gen Zers. Don't worry. Should I feel guilty? Their metabolisms are about to slow down. Joke's on you. All right. It's time for should I feel guilty?

Judge Warren presiding. Residing or? Judge Vaughan, presiding. Residing or presiding? Presiding. Residing. I prefer to preside rather than refer to reside. Because you don't live in the court, do you? It's work there. Nine to five.

Presiding. Presiding over the court. Presiding, yeah. Judge Vaughan's court is in session. We've received this message that says, Guys, I need to know if I'm in the wrong here. Judge Vaughan's court is in session. We've received this message that says, Guys, I need to know if I'm in the wrong here. I recently started seeing this guy and I've been staying at his place a few nights a week.

Oh, you know what? Remember what that was like? Yeah. Those hot early days of... Okay. You just can't get enough of each other, can you? Yeah. And then you're like, I'm not going to stay over tonight. And then it gets to like six o'clock and you're like, we miss them.

I'm going to go over to their house. And you message them, what are you doing? And they'll be like, oh, nothing. I'll be like, do you want to hang out then? I'll come over to your house. And okay, so I've been staying at his place a few nights a week. And he says it's cool. And has obviously invited me around every time. But I've been getting at his place a few nights a week, and he says it's cool, and has obviously invited me around every time.

But I've been getting weird vibes from his flatmates. I think they think I'm staying over too much, because they were really nice to me at first, but now that I'm there more frequently, they've gone cold. Yeah. This is so... Are they sharing the nights at different flats, do you think?

Or always at that? It doesn't sound like it. I've been staying at his place a few nights a week. There's no that, and he comes to mine a few nights a week. There's always a nicer flat though. Yeah, there is. And that's where you spend most of your time. And also someone might have the better bed.

He could be rocking like just a double or something. He could be rocking like a king sized, silly pastropedic feeling, silly, really. And she could just have some budget thing that she inherited from somebody. Like a squab. Maybe even a single futon. When's the last time you slept on a squab? A squab's just a foam mattress, right?

Yeah, a squab. When I was at broadcasting school. No, I feel like I slept on a foam mattress semi-recently. I had an Airbnb with a bunk and it had a squab. It was horrible. Oh, good Lord. God, you really feel that once you're over about 35. You really feel a squab.

Only you know when I get there. What happened to me? Who did this to me? I think it was more the bar that was in the middle of my back all night. Was I attacked in my sleep? Can't walk. Okay. I think I'm saying over too frequently because they were really nice to me at the start,

but now they've gone cold. How many nights a week is too many to stay over for free? I don't know if I should feel guilty, but he says it's fine. Three is in session. I mean, it depends on the flat as well. Some flats just aren't. I mean, people are cramming into flats as it is, aren't they? Yeah.

Tiny flats. So you add another person, it could be longer to wait for the shower. But that's the question is what are they doing? Are they showering there every night? Are they having dinner? Because if they're not showering or eating, what are they taking up? That he's not already taking up. But then it's the whole thought of it, isn't it?

Yeah. It's the whole you're it, isn't it? Yeah. It's the whole, you're there, you probably should be contributing. I think two to three nights, it's on the cusp, isn't it, of two months? Split it though, right? Yeah. He can start staying at your flat and make it pretty much even, and then you can be, well, we don't have to pay to stay at each other's flats because that means we're not there the same amount that we are there.

Yeah. Do you know? You can't use power if you're not present. Your flatmates get the break when you're staying at their house. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe a split or maybe just talk to them. Or maybe just contribute.

Yeah. So, I mean, yeah, we're asking this morning, should they feel guilty that they're not contributing? I was this person, though. So I'm always like on the pro. Yeah, you never think that. Whereas I think, you know, you pay for water. And if they're having a'm always on the pro. Yeah, you never think that. Whereas I think you pay for water and if they're having a shower three times a week,

especially if it's one of those couple showers where they shower at the same time and it takes an hour or something, that's taking up a lot of water. You don't do that in your flat. No. Yeah. And then shower over the bathtub. It's dangerous though. Here's why that's no. Yeah. And then shower over the bathtub. It's dangerous though. Here's why that's dangerous. The curved edges can be slippery and you might put like a foot up to get a bit of a bit of angle.

To wash your knee. What are we talking about? Washing, eh? Washing, yeah, yeah. And fall because you're like fighting for who's going to be under the shower. I think she should contribute. Maybe she could buy some pizza one night or, you know, contribute maybe some drinks. Right.

Like buy the flatties every now and again. Just buy them a bottle of wine or something. Yeah. Sweeten it. You just sweeten the deal. Or just huck 20 bucks into the flat account if you're ever stay. You're welcome. I would say, yes, she should feel guilty.

Of being completely. Yeah. If she's around there three to four times a week, it's too much. Yeah. Okay. Well, we're going to open it up. And Megan's a bit of a leech and a freeloader, so she's absolutely not guilty.

We were always the couple that spent too much time and the flatmates are like, he needs to pay $2 for a meal. You're like, oh, Christ. It's not bad, actually. I'd pay $2 for a meal. I'd pay $2 for a meal. That's a really good price.

That's a really good price for a meal. Is there mints in it? There was bulk mints. Seriously, David. Yeah, good. Bulk mints. That's a $2 meal. All right.

0800 DALS at M. You can text as well, 9696. Maybe you've been in this situation where someone's girlfriend or boyfriend's over too much, and maybe it came to a head. What did you do? How did you sort it out? And should she feel guilty about staying over at the boyfriend's house and not paying? Should I feel guilty?

So we received a message in. This is about somebody staying over at the flat, maybe a little bit too much. And should they feel guilty that they're not contributing to flat bills? Yeah, they said the flatmates have gone a bit cold on them and they wonder if it's because they're not contributing financially to the flat. But then the boy that they're seeing has said, nah, don't worry about it. You don't need to contribute. Right.

They also could just be annoying, and they've just worn fat on the flat, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe you're a stink person. I didn't think about that one. But maybe you've been in the situation. What should she do? Should she feel guilty about not contributing?

I personally think, I mean, if it's not money, maybe just like the odd bottle of wine or, I mean, if it's not money, maybe just like the odd bottle of wine or, I don't know, some food sometime. A very popular thing people are messaging in, just being involved in the chores. Oh, yeah. Like doing the dishes. Yeah, cleaning up.

I mean, I wouldn't do it. Getting involved in the roster. I wouldn't do a deep clean. I might take the rubbish out or do the dishes. Yeah, do it light. I'm not going to. Yeah, do the dishes. Maybe do it light vacuum. Maybe do a light vacuum. Or I would take some calls. Sam, you've been in this situation.

Yeah, I was one of the flatmates. One of my flatmates had his girlfriend around about three, four, five times a week. And it wasn't great. So I think she should feel a little bit guilty. So what did you, in your situation, did you say, hey, look, let's just get like a $50 cash payment or something? Well,

I tried to organise it after that sort of thing but he was adamant that because she was cleaning up around the place that she should get off Scots Free but she was only cleaning up his mess that he needed to clean up himself.

But she's also, he had a live-in maid. Yeah. Yeah, basically. Wow, but then also she's using like the power in the shower

and all that. Yeah, our bills went up heaps like the power in the shower and all that. Yeah, our bills went up, Pete. Like the power skyrocketed and everything like that. Again, it's those couple showers, I'm telling you. Yeah, I think they're also using their heater quite a bit more. Oh, they shouldn't have needed a heater. They should have provided body warmth to each other.

Cuddles, lots of cuddles. Spooning, yeah. Sam thinks you called Josh. Should she feel guilty that she's not contributing to the flat? Yeah, I think she should feel guilty. Okay. Yeah, utilities cost money. And if you're using the utilities, then yeah, you should be contributing to the flat. Yes.

No free road. You don't go around the Monopoly board paying nothing. No, especially if you're paying on one of their utilities. Exactly. Josh thinks you called some text messages. 100% should feel guilty. Nothing worse than a fre're on one of the utilities. Exactly. Josh, thanks. You called some text messages. 100% should feel guilty. Nothing worse than a freeloader. Being the flatmate, it's very annoying. She needs to contribute whether or not the boyfriend

says that she does because he might just be trying to keep her on the good side at this early stage of the relationship. Someone said, where'd a flatmate whose girlfriend would stay over every night and shower daily? Some of those daily couple showers. She'd use our car park,

eat our food and stay at our house during the day when no one else was home. No, no, no, no. Oh no, that's a flatmate. Yeah. Yeah, that's a flatmate.

The very least you could do is turn up with a jumbo pack of toilet paper. Three ply, no less. We have a rule in our flat. Any stays more than three nights a week and you pay the utilities

$15 per night. Oh, yeah. That's expensive per night. See, I'd put the heater on even if I didn't need it. Yeah, I'd just make my $15 a week. You're staying at a hotel, eh? Yeah. You treat the power like what you'd do if you weren't at all paying for power.

I always put my New World card in the hotel card slot so the air con goes all the time when I'm out. Yeah, yeah. Because you need your swipe card to get back in. Yeah, because then I come back and it's toasty. It's a little life hack there. How many times have I lost my New World or Countdown card? Many times. Lots.

Many times. Always getting a new one. Yeah, yeah. Never use your EFTPOS card. Never. Someone said, if you're not paying rent, you should at least contribute by cooking a meal for everybody and doing a bit of extra cleaning.

Yep, fair call. Somebody said, now you guys are all focusing on the cost. She might be quite loud and they're over the noise. Yeah, that too. Well, like I said, she could have had a peaceful flat. She could have been annoying. Yeah, you add another person into the mix. Yep, it is.

You're dead right. It changes the whole dynamic of it, isn't it? I used to go round to my friend's flat for dinner and I love sauce, so every time I went round, I'd take a bottle of aioli so that I could have as much as I want and then not feel guilty about leaving it there for them to finish. They loved it. P-Y-O-A-I-O-L-I. It was just their

contribution was a bottle of aioli. That's the thing, you make a little contribution, it's harder to be mad at people, isn't it? Yeah. So the poll results, should they feel guilty about not contributing to the flat? 76% of voters on our Instagram poll say

they should. I think the fact that the message even happened means they're already feeling a little guilty. Yeah. So sweeten it up with some gifts or some cash. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day. Day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day is about the Amazon River. Okay. Do you know why it's called the Amazon River? That's today's fact of the day. The origins of the- It's in the Amazon rainforest. Is's today's fact of the day. The origins of the... It's in the Amazon rainforest. Is it? The river got the name first.

That's another interesting fact. Oh, did it? Yep. The river was named before the rainforest. No, I've got no idea. Megan, any... No. It's Amazonian.

Keep going, keep going, keep going. You're very close. It's in the Amazonian area. No, keep going, keep going. You're very close. It's in the Amazonian area. No, you're dead wrong again. No, I don't know. So this, it was named by Francisco de Orlana. Nailed it. Francisco de Orlana.

I feel like you should apologise. Francisco de Orlana. There we go. It got there in the end, I think. That ended up quite all right. He was the first European explorer of the Amazon. Okay. He was the first European to set sail down the Amazon.

And when he was going down the river, at that stage just had a local name, he was apparently defeated by a tribe of large women. Goodness me. Okay. Wow. Like those Amazonian women of Greek mythology. Oh, yeah.

You familiar with Wonder Woman? Yeah. So she is Amazonian, even in the current like- Have we not- I thought we cancelled her. Oh, Gal Gadot. Just for the singing. Oh, I thought you were saying for her approach to the current Israel Palestine- And that too, yeah, and that too.

Situation. No, not her. The character she plays. Okay. Diana of the Amazonians. Right. If you've seen any of Wonder Woman or the Justice League- Yep.

That character. If you've seen any of Wonder Woman or the Justice League, that character, you've seen her on the island of Amazonia and the Amazonians on there. They're a tribe all of women. They don't need no man. Okay. Chris Pine turns up and they're like, cute. Look at this little fella, cute. Were they lesbians?

No. No. No. Good question. How did they reproduce? Actually, I haven't looked Into their reproductive system Well no it just sounds Like a lesbian tribe

Doesn't it? And that's great Yeah Maybe Just wondered How did they reproduce? If they're like no men Get out

Maybe Well they Yeah maybe There would have I mean statistically Guaranteed there would have been Well yeah exactly And then only woman

Maybe just people Out of you know, not really having a preference. Yeah. Just taking what was at hand. Maybe there could have been lesbians involved. But, you know, a strong, they were banished originally in ancient Greek mythology and they became strong,

a ferocious force to be reckoned with. And when this conquistador, you'll remember his name, Francisco de Joralama, was sailing down the Amazon River that wasn't called that yet, and he came across these powerful tribes of women who overpowered his men in battle. He named the river after the Amazonians of Greek legend. Yes, great. Okay.

He said this is the river that the Amazonian, that I believe where the Amazonian woman left. And were they lesbians? No word if they were lesbians. Or if the men were doing something else and the woman of the village came out. Because this was in 15... And absolutely handed it to him. Yeah, yeah. This was in 1535 he was going down this river

and was overpowered by a force of what he said were large women. Like large in stature, powerful women. But then that's, it's the 1500s and this dude just got his ass handed to him by a bunch of women. He's not going to go back and be like, they were average sized. I love how he's like, they must be the Amazonians because like, women beat us. I'm a man. With all these other dudes, we got beaten by women. So obviously they were massive.

I'm surprised he even admitted that in the 1500s. I know. Like you just sail away and just be like, let's never talk about that. I didn't see anything. Those were all dudes, eh? Massive dudes. We can all keep that. Yeah, okay.

Straight and narrow, those were dudes. I know, but they were Overpowered by Tribes of women And so he named The river that they Were sailing down After the Amazonian Woman of Greek legend

Wow So today's fact of the day Is the river was named Before the rainforest And the river isn't What the locals call it It was named In the early 1500s

After Greek Amazonian Woman of legend Fact of the day Day day day day in the early 1500s after Greek-Amazonian woman of legend. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Producer Jared's just been doing some background research into how they reproduced. To reproduce and keep the Amazonian race alive, they raided ships on the high seas to copulate with men, and at the end of mating, they would take their lives

and throw their corpses into the sea. I was going to say like a spider. What is that spider? The black widow spider. That's what they call the black widows, right? They mate with the male, and then they're just like, hey, thanks for that. We're done with you.

Wow. What a way to go, hey, thanks for that. We're done with you. Wow. What a way to go, though. Yeah, yeah. I mean, if I was going to go. At least go out with a big O. Yeah. Better than dying at like 80, just slowly dying. You'd be like.

Fed to the piranhas. That was amazing. Ah, fickle Fickle ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast Jared Behind the scenes Producer Jared was very

Very excited this week He told us In fact It started at the end of last week He had been contacted Yeah And he was Being sent something for free

And he was really excited about it And he said I'm going to do a social post for them Because I love Calypso drinks. And I said, I've never even heard of a Calypso drink. How would you describe a Calypso drink?

Producer Jared, number one fan of Calypso drinks. Oh, a fun fancy refreshing take on lemonade. Oh, so many flavours you can just get your hands on. So they just want messaged you. Why did they message on lemonade. Oh, so many flavours. You can just get your hands on them. So they just want messaged you. Why did they message you?

Someone emailed me offering me a carton of Calypso drinks because they heard that I like Red Bull. Because we always give you a bit of stick for your Red Bull and pie for breakfast. It's like you're a tradie, but you've done nothing. So you were like so excited. You're like guys I'm going to be a social media influencer Yep

It's the first time Someone sent me like a product Specifically to Jared Yeah And I was like I've made it But no payment Oh that'll come later

He's working his way up to it So he took it pretty seriously As Calypso arrived at work And he was planning out his post What he was going to do Yep Went home Went home Yep Took the photo Sent The photo itself arrived at work and he was planning out his post, what he was going to do. Yep. Went home.

Went home. Took the photo. The photo itself was a mission. Ended up staining my shirt, stepping in cat poo and walking that through the house. Took apart a shelf. Hey, no one said it was going to be easy to be an influencer.

I finally got it all set up and then it started pissing down. So I had to take it down and then reset it up when it stopped. It is hard being an... People think it's glamorous, don't they? Yeah, it's nuts. Yeah, I think it's just a walk in the park.

And then you took the photo and sent it to Megan. She zhuzhed up the colours using the influencer filter. Put it through a preset. A preset, yeah. And then you chucked it up on the gram. Yep, great caption. Likes were rolling in. I was like, this is great.

This is the start of many posts to come. Now, I know what happens next, and I thought this was very funny. What happened after you put this up and tagged in the official at Calypso account? I woke up to a DM from Calypso this morning being like, hey who are you? We didn't organise this. We haven't signed off on this.

This is false advertising. You need to untag us. Untag us! Untag us! Untag us. No, untag us. Untag. Oh, no. You gave them a freebie and they were like, no, thank you. Leave us out of this.

Oh, no. You loved their product. You were fizzing on it and they messaged you saying, please untag us. This has not been approved by anybody here at Calypso. Who sent you the drink then? It was a different company who imports stuff from like America, South Africa.

Oh, so it's not even a New Zealand drink. It's just imported here. So this was head office in where? This was, no, it's a New Zealand company. So, Zebra International. Import it. Import it. Who DM'd you saying, please untag us?

Drink Calypso, who make the product. In where? South Africa. South Africa. I think America, maybe. Hey. Your influencing career's got off to a rocky start. They didn't even say thanks, but no thanks.

They literally said, this is false advertising No one here approved this, please remove us What was false about it? Because I said my new pals had drank the lipstick They're not friends They don't want to know it This is so good He's tipped his toe into the world of influencing

God there'll be a Herald article about you next. The Herald love an influencer article. He's up in front of the ASA for false advertising. I put so much effort into it. I spent like an hour taking the photo, an hour working on the captions. I went into prime time to post it and this happened. Did you hashtag ad?

I hashtag ad, I hashtag ad. I hashtag gifted. I was maybe getting paid in the hashtag ad. They did it all forever. A box of drinks and they're like, no, we don't want anything to do with this. Free advertising. They literally took the marketing mantra of any mention's a good mention and they're like, not this guy.

A study has been found that when there are females in a group... I think you'll find a study has found. Not a study has been found unless someone misplaced their study and then found it again. It's important when Megan's about to bring in a study about females in the workplace that you put her in her place. All right, carry on. It's been a study.

Yeah. And what is the study? Found. There we go. That women in your team boost the collective intelligence more than men. So what is collective intelligence, you may ask? Is it, okay, is it like on the chase when you're better to go into the final round with four rather than two. And it gives people a broad, you're kind of including different people.

So it includes, that's why diversity is so good. You get a different points of view and you might acquire a knowledge and it'll open you up to a different experience. Like a pub quiz team. Yeah. You want people from all walks of life, don't you? Yeah. So, well, this definition says collective intelligence is a measure of the ability of a group to work together

and to solve a range of problems that vary in complexity. This is totally the final round of the chase. Yeah. This was only two last night. Did you see the chase last night? No. It was only two. And there were a couple of dum-dums.

I think the total. Yeah. The guy smashed them. The cinnamon smashed them with like 55 seconds to go. Oh, yeah. That's always embarrassing. And then he says, oh, it would have been great if like 55 seconds to go. Oh, yeah. That's embarrassing. And then he says, oh, it would have been great if you had more pushbacks. Like what, 20 pushbacks?

That'd be me if I went on the chase. Another 15 pushbacks and it might have been close. So basically, yeah, if you have women on your team, your collective intelligence is going to be greater. But I also thought maybe it's because like like, men would compete more aggressively against each other if it was just guys. Do you reckon? Whereas if, like, there's some females in there,

everything would balance out a bit more and you'd get everyone's opinions. Yep. Okay. Yep. Yep. Okay, well, I don't know. You're in charge.

Yeah, yeah. You can disagree with me. That's a valued opinion. We'll take that on board. We might not necessarily listen to it. That is worse than being told your opinion is valued and it will be taken on board. They might as well screw it up and throw it in the bin right in front of you.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree andch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and Clinton listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music, lives here. ZM.