ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 19th November 2021

Episode Date: November 18, 2021

NZ's Favourite TV Show  Top 6: Sassy Apple  How long is the Perfect Hug?  Yummy Yummy!  How bad was your first day?  Carwen's gotta fix something  Friday Face Yoga!  Who stole your Thunder?  Vaughan the Vax Pass Hero  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and... That's cookie, that's not COVID. It was a little tickle, I could feel it coming. It's not COVID. Fletch, Vaughan and cookie. The show, thanks to McCafe, Barista Made Coffee,

available from Triathra and McDelivery, level 3 and also Diner level 2. Happy birthday! Happy birthday! Happy birthday. Happy 50th birthday to the McMuff. Yeah, the McMuff is 50 years old today. You look so youthful for 50. Looks just as muffy and as eggy as you did 50 years ago.

Oh, I want one. Oh, well, get one. It's their birthday Because how old is When did that come in the scheme of McDonald's 50 years ago Like the McMuffin How old is McDonald's Will you watch the movie

Yeah about Ray Kroc You know Who was in that Michael Keaton 66 years old. Absolutely. Is McDonald's. A renaissance period, by the way.

Yeah, I really want to see that. Dope sick. Yeah, dope sick. Dope sick. Looks really good. So if McDonald's is 16th birthday, they're going to McMuff. Yeah, right. Right.

Oh. We didn't get this. In America, to celebrate it, they started selling them again for their original sales price, 63 cents. Oh for their original sales price 63 cents Wow 63 cents they went back to selling it for the original price but anyway now the egg McMuffin

they call that that there no mention if it's the bacon and egg McMuffin or the sausage and egg McMuffin did they just fall under the did they come out at the same time so they just fall under the egg McMuffin. Did they just fall under the, did they come out at the same time so they just fall under the Egg McMuffin umbrella? Yeah, maybe, maybe. Nice. Goodness me. Alright, well, happy birthday. Yeah. Now I need one. Same. That's how that works.

Original influencer, Vaughan Smith over there. Put an idea into your head and you can't stop thinking about it. Can't, I just can't. Thanks Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Flayt's Corner Megan. Happy Friday. Happy Friday. Sorry, I haven't got my headphones out.

Classic. Good news. I've nearly knocked the bumper word foot on the head. Yeah, you've been doing the crossword in the paper, haven't you? Yeah. I find my... Now, forgive me, I'm no brain doctor, but I think my lateral thinking kicks in a little bit more

when I'm doing the word fit pre-show. Do you think? Yeah. I don't get drawn into, like, social media. I've got my computer shut, didn't even have it out. Right. I'm word fitting. Yeah.

I'm freestyling, I'm jamming. Yeah. We were jamming, eh? We were just jamming. We were havingming, hey. We were just jamming. We were having a goss. We were just having a goss, having a jam. Ideas were flowing.

A vocal jam. Yeah. The tap was open. Here comes the jam. Oh, God. It's like, yeah, it's like band practice. We have like a vocal jam.

Yeah. Boom. And now the concert starts. Bam, bam, bam. Oh, Jesus. I was just saying. And you've had a big coffee, haven't you?

I was just saying, no, small but strong. Yeah. Just like me. He was six foot two. And weak. Big and weak. I'm like a big milky coffee. Oh, Jesus.

I'm like a tea that they just like, oh, don't leave the teabag in too long. Oh, I better top it up with milk. And a huge cup. I'm like a decaf flat white. Yeah. Just saying, Aaron Smith, he said, I can't do the All Blacks tour. My wife's having a baby. Baby is born.

He's like, I'll come now. This is hard. They cry a lot. It's a lot of stuff going on. I'll be there in, how long does it take for a plane to get there? Now it's not sleeping. Yeah, I'm out of here, boy. Alright, coming up on the show, your chance before seven to win $500 cash

with Cookie Time. We've got our Christmas cookie bucket. We'll do a, like a coin toss, but a cookie toss. And you've got to pick top or bottom to win $500 cash. we're going to do that before seven. Listen out for the activator. The top six is on the way. The top six signs you've got a sassy apple.

There's a new apple on the market. It's called the sassy. It's called the sassy. Sassy apple. Sassy. Sassy apple. Do we need another apple? Yeah, what is different about this one? You know what? I might have said that in the 90s when there was only Braeburn, Red Delicious and Granny Smith.

Yeah, but and Gala's. Gala's came in late. Yeah. And I would have said, do we need any more apples? And then there was a rose. Because this is why I say that. Because I always keep my rose. Best apple about.

Yeah, best apple. Best apple there is. And then you go to the self-serve checkout and you click on apples and then you're like, da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na and you click on apples and then you're like... Batman. And then it's rose. Yeah, because of alphabetical order. Is it in alphabetical order?

Oh, Jesus. Ambrosia. Get out of here. Are you kidding me? No. The whole system's in alphabetical order. How have you never... I know that everything is in... Like, all the fruit and vegetables are in alphabetical order. How have you never... I know that everything is in, like, all the fruit and vegetables are in alphabetical order.

Like, as in... It's like the decimal system. But when you click on apples, I didn't know that those were in alphabetical order. Why would it change? I just see the pictures and I look for the pictures. Yeah. But this is why I'm saying we don't need another apple.

Because it's another thing for me to scroll through. Yeah. No, you're wrong. I'm always open for a new apple because it could be the new best apple. All right. Well, the top six dealing with this soon. Don't settle for whatever apple's your favorite. There might be a better one around the corner.

Yeah. So, yeah, the top six signs you've got a sassy apple. But next, New Zealand's favorite TV show of all time ever and ever. It's been voted in a poll. This is not surprising to me. This is one of my faves. It's a great TV show, but I was surprised. Alright, we'll go through the list next.

ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Surprised me that Breaking Bad was voted New Zealand's favourite TV show of all time. Not because I didn't like it. I loved it. But it's... It's like Squid Games. Of all time for Kiwis

yeah yep ever made ever right um why is it surprising though it's dark

because it's dark oh it's dark yeah I would have thought it would have been something but then these are the other ones on the list

Game of Thrones dark dark yeah Sopranos violent very dark and dark yeah

The Wire dark yeah and Friends probably the most horrific of all very very dark Sopranos Violent Very dark And dark The Wire Dark Yeah And Friends Probably the most horrific of all Very very dark It's murder every episode All the time

Friends can't Yeah that sticks out though Yeah Friends Then Simpsons Then MASH Then Seinfeld Then The Office So then it gets a bit more comedy

But then if you've watched MASH Like That shit was dark too. That was war. They were like, ah, this guy's legs popped off. Surely that hasn't aged well, MASH. I haven't. It's still on TV all the time.

Is it? Yeah. So I feel like it can't have aged too badly. It must have been quite progressive for its time. Because, yeah, you're right. There's some shows where some of the words are not. You don't say those words anymore. No.

I mean, Squad Game was at number 13. Wow. And that's literally just come out in the last few months. So I feel like a great TV show, don't get me wrong, but will it stand the test of time?

Yeah. It's not like as crafted as say something like Breaking Bad which is beautifully shot and tells a story over like what six or seven seasons. Oh massive story arc. Yeah exactly one season. You've got to have at least a few seasons to see.

But then Game of Thrones is number two and if anything that just got progressively worse. It's just weird that there's not a same theme like a common psychological you know they're all very different. Game of Thrones is like a fantasy violent thing. Yeah. We just need to escape these mundane lives, Megan. Yeah, right.

Sopranos, Breaking Bad and The Wire are all similar because it's set in like the real world and dealing with things that you know do happen. But you've actually on the list you've just started re-watching Seinfeld. Seinfeld. Yeah. It's so good.

It is nuts. The first season of Seinfeld six episodes they got a test season. Yeah. Came out in 1989. So is it all square when you watch it?

No they've redone it. Oh. Actually, really good call. No, they've remastered it. They must have remastered it because now it's like a full widescreen now. But really, really good. You're right. When you get to the end of Curb this season and you feel that itch that needs to be scratched with some Larry David.

Yeah. Well, he was one of the main writers and creators of it. Yeah. So good. Play ZM's, well, he was one of the main writers and creators of it. Yeah. So good. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. Well, the awful password list for 2021 is out. This comes out every year. This is brought to us by NordPass.

That's like a password management. For Scandinavians? It's like a password management app. Right. So you have one of these and it's like using Chrome or Safari. You can just use really hard passwords and save them. Right. And then it remembers them on all your devices.

Right. But what if you lose your phone? Do you log on to this? I don't know how it works. What if you accidentally clear all your cookies? Oh, yeah. You don't want to be clearing your cookies. You're asking me hard questions I don't know the answers to.

Well, the CEO of NordPass, Jonas Karklas, remains baffled and sad. Oh, he's baffled and sad. I am both baffled and sad. He says, unfortunately, passwords keep getting weaker and people still don't maintain proper password hygiene. Password hygiene? I knew you'd like that Because that phrase Really tickled my fancy

Yeah it's a good one Especially in a COVID world Yeah You're washing your passport For 20 seconds Yeah And a lot of browsers Like I know Safari

And Chrome Will alert you Like your iPhone Will alert you If your passwords are weak Or if they've appeared In lists Yeah I don't know

That's insulting It is insulting So if you can actually just go through and then you can select which passwords you want to change. You can use a password manager and you should not be using any of these most popular passwords because these can be

cracked by that person on the movies in seconds. I don't know how they do it. Do they run a machine or is there some kind of bot program that can just try to log onto your account with a million different passwords? Look, I don't know how it works

but they can be cracked very easily within seconds. But these are the most popular passwords that have been found in data breaches and big databases that have been found online. Are they like, remember last year when Monkey 2 was number 20? Well, Monkey 2 is number 14 this year.

Congratulations, Monkey 2. They don't have the music charts. They don't have the ups and the downs. Okay. So very similar to last year. Number one, the number one most common password, 123456. Good.

Followed by 123456789., 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. You've got to stick with the classics. Followed by 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Followed by QWERTY. QWERTY's a classic. Number five, password. Classic. Number six, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

Good. Yeah. Number seven on the List of the most awful Passwords of 2021 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 What How many ones 6 ones

Yeah like 6 Okay Number 8 1 2 3 1 2 3 Number 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0

Getting you with the 0 there Yeah 0 Good Love the 0 Number 10 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 11 QWERTY 1 2 3 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 0. Getting you with the zero there. Yeah, zero there. Good. Yeah, love the zero. Number 10, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 11. QWERTY, 1, 2, 3, 12, 0, 0, 0, 0. Oh, original. And then what is this one?

The 15th most awful password or the 14th. A, A, 1, 2, 3. Oh, no, sorry. 1, Q, 2, W, 3, E. 1, 2, Q, W, sorry. 1Q2W3E. 1Q2W3E. Oh, okay. So it's just doing a W with those letters on the keyboard right there.

So you go down, up, down, up. Oh, yeah. Okay. But yeah, it's basically just combinations. That's the first time I've seen that one. Yeah, same. Yeah. It's basically combinations of numbers and that. And password 123 is the 20th most awful password on the

list. So if you have any of those, change them. Yeah. Because, yeah. I wonder, I thought about this the other day when setting up, not a burner account, but an account for something that I don't think I'll ever use again. I use an old email for like signing up to a site. Yeah.

Oh, this one needed to, you needed to log on to the site. Right. And I just was like, I'm probably never going to come site. Yeah. Oh, this one needed to, you needed to log on to the site. Right. And I just was like, I'm probably never going to come back here again. So I just did put in anything. Like one, two, three,

four, five, six, seven. Oh, you're right. Just because I was like, I just need it done. I actually think it wouldn't let me. I had to be ABC D

one, two, three, four exclamation mark or something like that. Yeah. Like it's just, and I wonder how many of these are just people setting up.

Like just an account just because they need to log into something. The last one I did like that. And I wonder how many of these are just people setting up like just an account just because they need to log into something. The last one I did like that, I just wrote, I don't know. It's a password. That's not on the list. With a one for an I and a zero for the... And a capital N and exclamation mark. All right, the top six is next on the show. Yeah, the top six signs you are biting into a sassy apple.

It's a new apple. It's been developed. From the majestic ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Just trying to find there was an apple invented in mutter mutter

in like the 90s. What was there? It was just on the road from my grandparents' house and I remember my grandad said, do you want to go and try a brand new type of apple? We were just like,

what? I was like, what are you talking about? He's like, guy down the road's invented a new type of apple reckons it's going to be the next big apple like, what are you talking about? He's like, guy down the road's invented a new type of apple reckons it's going to be the next big apple.

And, I can't remember what it was though. so he's full of it. No, but we went and tried it. Oh. I remember it being yum as. Right.

But we literally picked it off the tree. Maybe it was, I was like, oh, I'll get that one. That one's ready. Really? Yeah.

Maybe it didn't take off. It can't? Well, it can't have. yeah, because there was the rose, but I think it was, my memory tells me because there was the rose, but I think it was my memory tells me it was

the Pacific Rose, but I don't think that's right. If you had a time machine and you took a basket of apples that you buy in the supermarket now, back to like the mid-evil times. Or even just 50 years ago, people would just be amazed with how sweet they are. They'd just be blown away. They'd be like, what is this?

Because apples, if you plant the seed from an apple and it grows into an apple tree, it's going to taste different to the apple it came from. Really? That's why those trees, when they get like a good one, like Pacific Rose or Rose, they clone them. They graft them onto other things. Right.

So they maintain some sort of like... You've just joined Horticulture Hour. Welcome to the show. Well, there's a new apple on the market, and I reckon by the looks of it, it looks pretty good. Sassy is its name. It's been grown in Nelson and Hawke's Bay, and it is ready for the export market.

Generation Apples. That's a collaboration between the Golden Bay Fruit and Hawke's Bay Tailors. They've applied for and got licensing rights for this apple called the Sassy. I love it. I've got this apple's licensed to be yummy. Described as crunchy and firm. Good. Yeah.

With sweetness and attitude. Great. Attitude. Brilliant red skin. Skin colour doesn't really worry me because what about those, is it Fuji apples? Those Japanese,

those light coloured, not Granny Smith's lemonade apples. You know, if you were to draw an apple, you'd draw a red apple, but there's not really any or many

that are just pure red apples. Red Delicious. Whereas the sassy is. Yeah, Red Delicious is really red. I like her. So it was developed from these Fuji, which I like, Cyrus apples and Cy Fresh, which are different sorts of apples. So there we go.

I really want to try one. So I've got the top six signs you're about to bite into a sassy apple. Number six on the list that calls you a bitch as you bite it. Top six signs you're about to bite into a sassy apple. As you're about to bite it, it says, I smell a banana on your breath. What are you, a bloody monkey? And you're like, shut up, apple. Number four on the list of the top six signs you're about to bite into a sassy apple.

As you're shining it on your shirt, as people do with an apple or your pant, just getting a bit of shine to the apple. Like it's a cricket ball. Yeah, it scoffs and it says, I already sparkle, babes. Because it's a sassy apple. Number three on the list of the top six signs you're about to bite into a sassy apple. It's wearing a t-shirt that says, I like my men like I like my coffee. I don't because I'm an apple. And you're like, oh, this apple's got attitude.

I wondered where that was going. Number two on the list of the top six signs you're about to bite into a sassy apple. When you're about to eat it, it has to put down its coffee cup. And on the outside of the coffee cup cup it says Granny Smith in the streets and Brozier in the sheets. Your apple jokes are really tickling vegan this morning. I'm pleased I've found an audience

to be honest when I was writing them. I don't know what it says about me, but here we are. Over the half an hour I had to write it while Taylor Swift was playing her latest song, I wasn't sure any of these were going to hit. And number one on the list of the top six signs you're about to bite into a sassy apple.

It has a request just before you bite it. It wants to be smacked on the stalk. Bite me! I'm sassy. Top six signs you're about to bite into a sassy ass apple. That's today's top six. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan.

Hugs. Could be the season for hugs soon. Catching up with family that you haven't seen for a while. When do you think there'll be some... Present your negative COVID test, your double vaccination certificate, and then hug. Do you think there'll be some families or some family members that are like, don't hug me?

Don't touch me. You've come down from Auckland. Yeah, maybe. It's going to take me a little bit to get back into hugging, I reckon. Because when you see your friends, like when we've been picnicking, you're like, hey, and then you're kind of like, what do I do? We just wave. Air high five.

I'm waving at you, yeah. Yeah, we're not even like in Auckland, we're not even elbow bump level, are we? No. I think that comes at Orange Lot. Well, the psychologists at Goldsmiths University of London have said that the longer the hug, the better. Oh, okay. So they studied the length and the style of hug.

Now, we'll talk about style in a minute because somebody in this room's terrible at them. Kind of a one-armed situation. Yeah, that's targeted at me, isn't it? It is. Between five and ten seconds. The longer the hug, it delivered a more positive

impact compared to a short, quick, backpack back pat and out. Even five seconds is a long time. It's long because I... We're still hugging. That's long because I... One, two, three. We're still hugging. Yeah. That's too long.

Who does a 10-second hug? You've got to be rubbing back. You've got to be passing the time with the pat. Rubbing back, rubbing back. Are you talking? I feel like you need to talk. You need to be. Good to see you, man.

It's been too long. Yeah, yeah. Give me some of that hug. All right. Let's break it. No, I'm always the first one to be like, let me out of this. There's nothing worse than hugging someone though and feeling them pull away.

You're like, oh, okay, we're done. Well, you were trying to hug them too long. But you've got to wait till there's like a mutual, and we're out. You can't be the one that like tries to get away like a dog when you picked it up and it doesn't want to be petted. So then length, one thing.

Style, another. How do you? You do one arm. I would go right arm up, over, and they go their right arm up, over my left. That's how you go about that, man. And then try and get the boobs out of the way. Your boobs are on me. I always, before I go in for a hug If someone's got breasts

I grab them And push them to the side Oh right Just around the other side Okay yeah Or part them Like Moses at the Red Sea If they've got breasts

I will just be like Let me get in here Wiggle in And now embrace Right yeah I always try And not press my boobs On someone

You try to hold Your boobs back a little bit It might make them uncomfortable It won't So that I'm imagining Is what they call crisscrossed How we just described arms There's another one around the waist

Very personal That's partnership Or unless you're hugging someone Like a niece or a nephew that you haven't seen for a while and then that's their height and you go higher and they go lower and that's how that works. Or over the shoulder. But I would never go.

But is that like a side to side? You just put your arm over their shoulder. G'day, mate. That'd be what that means, right? No, that's like a female grabbing someone who's taller. Yeah, that's like that's like a female like grabbing someone who's taller Yeah that's like you're about to kiss them Yeah I'd say it would be the, what one person would do if one person went waist the other person

would go arms around neck. Yeah right Okay well so 5 to 10 seconds. And no and it turns out the style doesn't matter. Right. It doesn't matter as long as it's a hug. Yep. It's all about length.

And what about body pressing? Does it mention that? Like whereabouts are we supposed to connect to? Oh my God. We're so out-socialed. Up the top. We don't know what we're doing anymore. Yeah.

Apparently they try to use hugging robots, but nobody could find any joy in hugging a robot. Can't tank that, AI robot overlords. Yeah, but what are those sex robots? They might not be able to hug them, but people are definitely humping robots. Oh, Jesus. It's just a different end game. So, we have a new, this is liquid form.

A new yummy, yummy treat in liquid form. Okay. Better be boozy. I'm just loading up my Christmas treat to tell you about. I'm allowed to drink tonight. Have you been giving yourself? Was that all week? No, we're doing it till the end of the year.

But then like, okay, so my loophole will be, no, I'm not allowed to drink on nights that I've got work the next day. Oh, yeah. But then come the 17 nights that I've got work the next day. Oh, yeah. But then come the 17th of December, no work. Loophole. Loophole. And I woke up this morning with a headache. And I've always associated that might have been because I've had too much to drink the night before,

but it turns out I just get headaches, so it's a brain tumor. Maybe you need, it's not a brain tumor, maybe you need more water. That's true. Yes, that'll be it. Maybe you need, it's not a brain tumor, maybe you need more water. That's true. Yes, that'll be it. Or you're sleeping too close to the Wi-Fi. I sleep on the Wi-Fi. You sleep on the router? Yeah, I like the hum and the warmth of the router.

That's it. Well, the new liquid yummy, yummy treat is new Bailey's drinks. So these are in your supermarket. Okay. You can get original Irish cream, butter, caramel, and sea salt, and iced mochaccino. So is this just Bailey's, or is it a collab with?

No, I remember Bailey's. I've had Bailey's salted caramel before, and I thought it might make me finally like Bailey's, but it did not. So these are also non-alcoholic. Oh, get out. Oh, why are you drinking that? Why don't you just make your own then?

I mean, yeah. But that's why these are kind of in the supermarket. It's iced coffee. But it's Bailey, isn't it? Could you take one of those to a work meeting? Put it on the desk next to your muffin? Yeah, totally. But then everyone's going to assume it is, right?

Chuck some in your kid's lunchbox. Remember when Zero Alcohol Pals came out and mums were putting them in lunchboxes? Other kids just like a little bit of fizzy. That's a gateway fizzy. Yeah, it's an absolute gateway fizzy. Yeah, so you can get those now. Okay, well, I was actually sent this yesterday on Instagram. Apologies, I've forgotten who sent this to me.

But I screenshot it, had a few messages, so I've lost it. This was a post by New World Long Bay. And look at that. Scorched almonds. There is a new flavor. Does that say salted caramel? Yes, it does, Megan. What?

Is it white chocolate salted caramel? No, so it's milk chocolate. But it's like orangey. What the box says. Is it like a caramel chocolate? I think it's a different coloured box to differentiate it from the... It says whole almonds coated in salted caramel and smothered in Nestle milk chocolate. So it looks, if you look close, it's actually a gooey bit.

There's a goo around the almond. Oh, my gosh. Which is interesting because do you remember when Nestle did the white scorched almonds? And we hit them up about it years ago because they stopped doing them. And they said, didn't someone say it was because they didn't want to change the machines? The machine required a lot of cleaning beforehand. It was all a downtime. All the white chocolate and they have to put milk chocolate in.

But this way they don't have to change the machine, do they? Because it's the almond that's coated. I'm glad someone's finally calling Nestle out on their bullshit. Bring back the white scorched almond, Nestle. Rocking around here with, you know, Nezquik and other stuff. You look them up. They're a big company. Are you trying to call out Nestle?

I'll call out Nestle. Bring back the white. We don't want to clean the machine. Buy two machines. Yeah. Buy a machine primarily for white chocolate scorched almonds. Because they used to do the dream scorched almonds, eh, Cadbury? But then they haven't done those for ages.

Are they allowed to call them scorched almonds? Nah, they called them something else. Right. Like chocolatey almonds. Light. Like chocolatey almonds. Lightly roasted chocolate covered almonds. Yeah, but then there's that, is it Waikato? The warehouse sell those scorched almonds. And we're spoiled for choice when it comes to coated almonds

because what about skinny? Oh, yeah, yeah. The skinny almonds is so good. Ew. ZM's Fleshworn and Megan. Play ZM's Flesh Worn and Megan Play ZM Your first day at a new job It's like your first day at school It's really scary

You don't know everyone Well there's all new people There's things to learn Yeah It can be really scary And a lot of the time Things go wrong And lots of people

Have been doing this What are you doing this for People might be going To their first day at a job. Oh, sorry. Buzzing them out, man. You're freaking them out. It'll be wonderful.

First day at the jobs. Everyone will be lovely. Yeah, sweet as. You're going to have a blast. You're great. They'll be fooled. They'll be a fool to think otherwise. Probably got to work next to the person who wanted your job.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't tell me. Or inadvertently taking someone else's job and they're still there. Yeah, that's Don't tell me. Or inadvertently taking someone else's job and they're still there. Yeah, that's never happened to me. Someone said I got mugged on my first night as a pizza delivery guy. Oh, my dude. Oh, that's horrible. Yeah, that doesn't make you want to go back.

Yeah, lots of people sharing on Reddit their first jobs, their first day on their first job. My first job was at a new buffet in a small town when I was 14. I was supposed to be a dishwasher but when I got there for training they handed me a ladder and told me to install drywall ceiling tiles in the kitchen. They attempted to do it though and fell off

the ladder. Are they those ones like we've got here and you just pop them up? That's weird. I don't know, man. I don't even know they're putting these in. What do you do? No, because popping that button is easy,

but how'd the steel stuff get there? I don't know. We've got that gridded ceiling stuff and there's wires and stuff hidden on the other side. In most offices. It'd be horrible, yeah. Someone said, I work at a gas station. I accidentally hit the button that emergency stops all the pumps.

Is that a thing, Vaughan? Yep. What was your first day at the service station like? I know that nobody told me anything and everyone just kind of expected me to know stuff. I feel like there's lots of room for error in that job. Heaps. And before the days, now when you go in and you buy oil,

it's all just on the rack, right? And you Google like, what kind of oil does my car have? You hide and you're like, what kind of oil does my car have? And you find out the answer and then you find the, you know, T-W whatever W, something W. But back in the day at our service station, and some small rural

ones might still be like this, it literally had this thing and it was all the different oils and I had to pull down a handle and fill like this oil container like a slushy machine pour it in their car

oh my god like an oil slushy machine yeah yeah like an oil slushy machine or like oil pick and mix at the supermarket yeah and you'd be like

that oil and I said and it had the prices on it yeah and then you had to say oh they had a litre of whatever yeah and I said to the guy

what kind of oil do you want? And as a, I don't know if he was joking, he said the cheapest stuff. Now, the cheapest stuff was marine diesel oil, but I didn't know that couldn't go on a car. Oh my God. So I was like, cheapest. Okay. Put it in his car. Went in and I was like,

that guy also got a litre of marine diesel. And they're like, what for? I was like, his car? Marine diesel oil. Yeah. And they're like, what for? I was like, his car? Marine diesel oil. Yeah. And they're like, for a marine, what, marine diesel? Like what, like a barge or something? I was like, no, it's holding.

And they were like, did you put it in already? I was like, yeah. They're like, okay, let's just keep that one to ourselves. I was like, okay. They're like, going forward Because what would that have done? I don't know. He never came back, so I assume it was sweet. Or his car blew up and he died.

I don't know. One of the two. Or now he drives his Holden on the water. You're welcome. It's a Holden jet ski now. You're welcome. We'd love to know what happened to you on your first day. Yeah.

How bad was it? Because some of these stories are pretty great. Yeah. Someone took, no, actually, I'm not going to say it like that. They went to the bathroom and went number twos beside their boss. And when they walked out of the stalls, they were like, oh. Oh, you always wait until they leave. Wait until someone else leaves.

Unless they're waiting for you to leave. And then you're both just waiting. Yeah. And the lights go off. Yeah. People have been sharing their terrible first days at a new job on Reddit. But if you're going for your first job today, it's going to be great. Oh, yeah, you'll be fine.

It's going to be lovely. It's these other people that, you know, have a bad first day. It's not you. We'd love to know what happened to you. How was your first day terrible? Some of these are bad. Yes, good. Some of these are bad. Good. Student nurse. I was a student

nurse on one of my ward placements. I was nervous in front of the other nurses. I had to take the cap off a needle and I yanked it off so hard my hand bounced back in the needle. I stabbed myself with a needle. Oh my god, imagine your first placement doing your first actual things on an actual person that you don't know.

Yeah, and you stab yourself in the head. There's no way I could do that. Stab him. Sorry, I'm just going to jab you. This made me feel all, like, weak and blech. Did you have a vomit? He just vomited straight onto the wound. And look, the other nurse has been like, help me, it's your job.

I activated the armed hold up alarm repeatedly. How do you activate that? Well, I can understand once. Maybe it's underneath the thing and you knock your knee on it. I've got one of those in case we have a bank robbery. Push it. Yeah, no, I've got one here. Do you actually?

Yeah, there's a panic button. Here, look. Yeah. Show, press it. Why did no one tell me about the panic? Show, press it Is it actually Are you joking You're very panicky

SWAT comes The Netflix SWAT Yeah Hot Get them here He comes He's hot They come over

Are they hot Press it Yeah What are you waiting for I press it No the security guard Is just going to come in Yeah he's going to be like

Why did you do that I feel like someone Should have told me That was there Actually that's a good point. What if you two turn, like, serial? What if I go down? Yeah.

With what? Like they shoot you through. They shoot me. And you're the closest to the door and they grab you. And then Megan's here. She's like, well, if only we had a panic button. You didn't know about it. Well, now you do.

It's just there. You're forgetting I've got panic and button right here. I'm putting my arms up. They won't get in. Also, good to know that I pressed the panic button and nothing's happened. Don't tell everyone. Is it connected? Oh, they've disconnected it.

Yeah, that'd be classic around here. I think the batteries are out. Is it battery operated? I don't know if it's battery operated. At least I've got to remind to be. It's wireless. On the first day of teaching, your first day disaster stories, on the first day of teaching,

one of my kids got explosive diarrhea in the pool changing rooms. Oh, no. So there's your, you've got diarrhea, you've got the changing rooms, which as a teacher would be your worst nightmare to have to go in. Yeah. They'd be like, oh, miss must stop looking at my diddle. I remember saying that to the teachers when they'd come in at the end of the day. God damn it, hurry up.

Next class has started. And you're like, stop looking at my dick. Get out of here. You're a poof. Stop looking at my dick. I can still do it. I'm so sorry for your teachers. The teacher's just not going to change rooms anymore

I'm not looking at your desk You are And then I get everybody started Now he's looking at mine Tanya how bad was your first day at work What happened I was in a hotel and My first day was in the section I'm kind of short

Five foot two My boss was saying if you get in any trouble Just push the button, I'm kind of short, five foot two, and my boss was saying, oh, if you're getting any trouble, just push the button and I'll come out and help you. And it got really busy and no one was coming to help me and the phones were going crazy and no one was coming to help out the front. He found out that it's because I was being short, I was hitting the armed hold up button and he was constantly fielding the fact that we weren't being held up.

So all those calls that were coming in that you couldn't get to were like the police asking if you were okay. Yeah, yeah, and he was having to give the secret code about saying that we were okay. And I was going, where the hell is he? It's my first day, he's not coming to help. And it was because I was pushing the arm hold up. And the only reason why I didn't get totally shamed out at the hotel

was because another person, the porter, happened to crash the hotel van on the very first day right in front of the general manager. So that's the only reason why I didn't get shamed out. Yeah, so you weren't as bad as him, Tanya. Thanks for your call. Ethan, how bad was your first day at work? Oh, well, I used to be a lifeguard.

And on my first day, I was told to go downstairs and put 20 litres of 13 cent liquid chlorine in one of the big balance tanks. OK. So I decided I'd climb up this ladder and I was tipping this big jar of chlorine. And I didn't realise chlorine was quite like the liquid itself is quite slippery. Yeah. It slipped out of my hand, bounced back and I got liquid chlorine straight into my eyes. Oh! Oh, my God!

What did you do? I was screaming out for help, but no one could hear me because I was downstairs and all the pumps were running. So I pulled the emergency shower, and I was trying to wash my eyes out, and I could barely see. So I crawled up the stairs, screaming for help, and finally someone comes down. He's like, you all right, mate? You all right? I just got chlorine in my eyes out and I could barely see, so I crawled up the stairs screaming for help and finally someone comes down and is like, you alright mate, you alright? I just got a coin in my eyes, I can't see. I washed my eyes out for ages in the sink out the back and I could actually see a little bit of blood coming out of my eyes. And you're blind now then, Ethan?

No, no, I'm okay. Oh, phew. Yeah, I was only about 18 at the time, so I was shitting myself. Right, yeah. I was blind for the rest of my life. And so did you just have to have heaps of eye washes? Heaps of eye washes, and then, yeah,

HR came out because we had to do a report on it, and then, yeah, I got sent to the doctor straight away to get some eye drops. Wow. Yeah, a few days later later I started coming right again. Oh wow great first day at work you start with a couple of days off. All right Ethan thanks you Tyler how bad was your first day at work? So I was my first day of being a health care worker in a rest home and I was tasked with cleaning someone that had recently just died.

Oh, on your first day. Yes, on my first day I had to clean, unfortunately, a dead body. And it was traumatising. Apologies for my ignorance. I didn't know that that fell on the healthcare worker. I thought that would have been an undertakery mortician situation. No, so when they pass away from natural causes, like in the night, we get them ready for the family to do their final goodbyes

before they go to them. Yeah. So, yeah, we had to clean and get them dressed. Well, that's just, yeah, you've just climbed another rung of a very already high respect ladder that I had for people in your profession. Yeah. Can you not just, like, use a spray and wipe bottle and just give it a light mist? No.

What? No, it's a full sponge bath. Wait, you get them in the bath or you do it where they are? In their bed, in their bed. In their bed. But it's a sponge bath in their bed. But, yes, it was very, oh, my God. Wow.

That's a whole other thing to say. But yes, it was very, oh my God. This is a major respect. Yeah. Major respect. Wow. I think it was a little hazing to see if I'd handle it. Yeah, yeah. Healthcare hazing. Make her clean the dead one.

I think we kind of want to keep them in work. Yeah. If I feel like I'm in healthcare and I'm passing, I'm going to write a little note being like, sorry about the mess. Yeah, Tyler, thanks you, Paul. Not'm passing, I'm going to write a little note being like, sorry about the mess. Yeah, Tyler, thanks for your call. Not that I think I'm going to shit myself, but just I'll be a mess.

I'm a mess as it is and I'm not even dead yet. So many texts and calls and thank you. We'll get to those. Now? No, we won't. We're running out of time. So we won't get to them then? We won't get to them.

Well, don't promise the people we'll get to them. Say to them, we'll get to them another day. Yeah. No one's going to believe that. We need to deal then. Well, don't promise the people we'll get to them. Saturday, we'll get to them another day. Yeah. No one's going to believe that. We need to deal soon. We've got an issue with the printer at work. We need to deal with that soon. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Well, there's a printer problem. Look at me. I'm rolling up my sleeves. That just happened

like psychosomatically. Is that what I call it? Is that the wrong word entirely? Psychosomatic Atikins. It's prodigy. I think you're just reading out prodigy lyrics. Is that what I call it? Was that the wrong word entirely? Psychosomatic Atikinsane. Atikinsane. At prodigy. Yeah.

I think you're just reading out prodigy lyrics. Psychosomatic Atikinsane. There's a printer problem at work. I can't work at the social media desk. I know, ironic that the social media desk needs a printer because it's all digital, isn't it? Anyway. She requested that the printer get fixed.

Yeah, she does a lot of printing in her job. Yes. So we're running on a skeletal staff at the moment, being in level, what are we? Three. Red light, 3.4. Christmas lights? Yeah.

Level four Christmas lights. And we've got them on flashing. Yeah. They're playing a tune, but we've turned it right down. I don't like when people have flashing Christmas lights. I know there's on flashing Yeah They're playing a tune Which I don't like When people have flashing Christmas lights I know there's a setting There's like different settings

Do you just want a solid light? I prefer LED Christmas lights To be on constantly A solid light Oh no mine go through Different phases of flashing No Twinkle

Fast and then slow No I prefer Twinkle And then Makes you know At least you know You're alive I like the ones that play music

And they flash to the music Horrible Oh that's weird Tacky Oh Yeah Anyway makes you know, it lets you know you're alive. I like the ones that play music and they flash to the music. Horrible. Oh, that's weird. Tacky. Oh. Yeah. Anyway.

I'm sorry I had a childhood. So a request was made and because nobody's at work, instructions were sent back on how to fix the printer and Carmen's like, I don't want to do this. What's wrong with this, what's wrong with the printer,

Carmen? Because I noticed some days you'll print this stuff and it's wonky or on different pages and you'll print this stuff and it's wonky or on different pages and different colours. Yes, so it's wonky because I've had to walk to the other side of the building for the past couple of weeks to use the other printer. Oh, the wonky printer.

Do they print everything wonky? Yeah. It just spits it out sideways. You'd think that's bad. I used to have to walk to school. Oh, shut up. And BFB. Eight miles in the to walk to school. Oh, shut up. And be afraid. Eight miles in the snow.

In the snow. In the snow. I lost my shoes in summer and my parents refused to buy me any more. When does it snow in Morrinsville? We had to hunt bears to provide ourselves with. There are no bears in Morrinsville. Well, that's when my feet were so cold. You're right.

So the normal printer that we use that's in our little ZM area was just printing out black and white. So I figure, you know, the ink is low or something. I mean, we could have black and white. Who here has a problem if the things aren't printed in colour? For the record, Your Honour. Is it Megan? No.

Is it me? Vaughan Smith? No. Who throws a little tant when something's not printed in colour? Oh, sue me for liking something in colour. It's not the 1950s. We've got colour. Look at us. There's a photo of us in colour.

In colour, it's lovely. Yes, I also heard about the time when there wasn't a photo of you guys on there. Yeah, that's right. Who was that? It was more a margins issue? It was more margins issue. It was the printing margins. Okay. So, how do we remedy this?

So, I obviously talked to the people that... Fix the printer. Are in charge of the printers. I don't know. And was told to send a photo of what was wrong, what colour was missing. They're just letters so I just seem to photo and see is missing oh we're out of sea what is that I am is it because I

know from my home printer there's three different there's the black one and then there's a three different ones a yellow magenta and cyan yeah sure okay so we're out of one of those yes we're out of cyan right I shouldn't be a name for a blue by the way. Sounds more like a pink to me. It sounds like a poison to me. It sounds like a Russian poison to get rid of, you know, a spy. Yes.

Yeah, and so I sent that off and then they were like, cool, so go to this place and find this ink and then phone me and then I'll tell you how to put it in the printer. Now, old Gen Z over here you don't want a bar of this. Well, no. You said it's not my job. I don't know how to do this and I don't want to know.

Well, I don't know how to do it is the issue. You've got the Google. It's true. Google it up. I can ask my good friend Vaughn Smith who seems to know a thing or two about princesses. That's the thing. I know nothing about it but I'm also full

of white arrogance. No one's ever told me I can't do anything. You're like Elon Musk. If you ask Vaughn can you do this? You're like I don't know but I'll figure it out. Why not? I've never been told otherwise. No one's ever tried to stop me. I'll give it a go. Vaughn you've broken it. I'll just get another one. I'll to stop me. I'll give it a go for you and you've broken it.

Oh, well, just get another one. Well, get another one. Let's do it. I'll fix the printer. I don't care if it breaks. What are you going to do? Fire me? You wouldn't even attempt to try, Carwin.

No, I will. You need to live by my mantra, though. Don't get good at what you don't want to do. I'm just taking a leaf out of your book. I like horses. They can smell fear. You can't go in half-assed on a taking a leaf out of your book. I like horses. They can smell fear. You can't go in half-assed on a printer. I don't know if they are like horses.

They are. Are they? Give it a sugar cube and it's putty in your hand. Bingo. Force it in the paper tray. Are there heaps of wild Xeroxes running around the... Well, not anymore because they've all been tamed. They've culled them around National Park.

All been tamed. The Kaimano are wild printers. The Kaimano are Epsoms. Galloping around, printing off things. All being tamed. The Kaimanawa. The Kaimanawa wild printers. The Kaimanawa Epsoms. Galloping around, printing off things willy-nilly. That can still receive a fax too. Welcome everybody to Friday Face Yoga. Namaste to you all. Namaste. Namaste. Namaste. you all Namaste

This is Shaman Smith with you this morning And this Friday first year is coming from the top of a mountain not a breath of wind Oh lovely and the Shaman Sanctuary Look how bad my handwriting got by the end of that

You've made some notes for today's yoga class and the Shaman Sanctuary. Look how bad my handwriting got by the end of that. You've made some notes for today's yoga class. That one you can read. It says border special. Yeah. And then down the bottom. Good luck with that. It's the border announcement special of Friday First Yoga today. And firstly, this is for everybody.

If you've got a loved one in Auckland that you'll be able to see or Aucklanders going to see loved ones outside of the compound, that's what I call Auckland now, the compound, I want you to have one of those hard swallows and one of those breaths when you feel yourself a little overcome with emotion seeing a loved one for the first time in a while. Fletch, you don't understand at all what this is like. You haven't seen someone for a while.

What was that? Hi. Hi. Hi. Just a bit of a... I didn't expect this. Heart swallow. That should hide the tears.

There are other things you can do To suppress emotion But at the same time Maybe just let it out If you're happy to see someone and it brings you to tears Embrace it Let them know that you've missed them That's Shaman Smith's Emotional advice for today

But if you are in Auckland Heading away, you'll need this next Friday First Yoga exercise. Oh, it's probably hay fever, but you can feel a sneeze coming on. You're from Auckland. Nope, it's gone. Nothing here, don't look. Nothing to, Nothing what?

Nothing. I wasn't about to sneeze. No. And once again, just a bit of a... And here comes the sneeze. Fight it. Did you just cough? No.

I gagged. Two very different things. Well, depending on how you use them. Next up, you're out and about. You're in Auckland and you've just been asked by a local at a beach, where are you from? And you stumble for a moment. So I need everybody to pretend they had something in their ear,

maybe a bit of water from a sea swim, just a bit of a... Get the mouth really hot. Shake of the air. Well, you think of a place that you're from. Yeah. Maybe your hometown, if you're not originally from Auckland. Sorry, I had something in my ear. What was that?

Where are you from? Morrinsville. And this is the only time saying you're from Morrinsville will get you a kinder reception than saying you're from Auckland. Yes. And finally today, there is news that booster shots will be available. The third booster shot for people. Is it six months after your last shot?

So you know the old saying, try something once, twice if you like it, by the third time it's a kink. So I want everyone to bite their bottom lip. Bite their bottom lip and look a little bit sexy as they're pretending to get their boosted shot. Stick it in.

The needle feels smaller this time Give me a big Give me a big needle Namaste everybody Namaste ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan There is one type of picture That signals to people

That a guy is ready for commitment So if they put this picture On their dating app, it signals that they're looking for something serious and long-term. Right. Is it a screenshot of their internet banking and they're rich? No. Okay.

750 dating profiles were examined, men and women, and 80% of the guys who responded that they wanted a long-term relationship, they were looking for something serious. They had pictures of them with a dog. A fish. No, but I've got something about the fish. Because a fish is short-term. They fish metaphorically.

They hook them. They reel them in. They smoke them. Yeah, they smoke them. No, see, smoke means they would last a little bit longer, but if they want fresh fish, they yum them all up on the day. Yeah. And then discard the leftovers.

Oh, my God. What a metaphor. Yeah. So, yeah, they have a picture with a dog. I mean, they're in. Any dog? Like, could you just, like, Google a Labrador, like a stock image of a Labrador?

So, here's the thing. Subconsciously, a lot of guys know this and they dogfish. So they like, they borrow someone's dog and take a picture with them and it's not even their dog. That's quite funny. But it signals like they're committed, they're responsible, they

need something to love. A way out of dogfishing, just you want to lure someone in and then you go on the date and they're like, where's that cute Labrador? And you're like, oh, my God, he was hit by a car last week. You're a bad man. And then would you not feel sorry for me?

Are you just learning this? And you feel sorry for me. He's gone for the dating app double. He's gone for sympathy and a dog. Oh, my God. And now you feel sorry for me because I've just lost my dog, Max. And then she meets your best mate, Bourne, and is like, oh, isn't that Max? And you're like, no, that's Ralph.

No, this is Max's brother. Oh, yeah. They're from the same litter. And then I'll start crying too and she'll want to kiss me as well. And then I can be like, I've got a wife and children. And then I'm back in the power spot. I can go home to Shardell and be like, a girl wanted to kiss me. And she'll be like, you've made a huge mistake saying thaté, I'll be like, a girl wanted to kiss me. And she'll be like, you've made a huge mistake

saying that. And I'll be like, I know, as it came out of my mouth, I realised I should never have said it. This is not going the way I thought it would. I expected this to be a power play. I've made a foolish mistake. Please forgive me. What does it say about the fish? So if guys display their chests, their motorcycles,

their boats and the big fish they caught at the weekend, those are signals they are not ready for commitment. The exact opposite. Whereas dogs are, even if they're dog fishing. You can totally borrow any of the dogs. Not your nearly dead dog. No, that's a good sympathy. Lulu

is a dog, but also you can be like died of natural causes. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my god, Lulu, no. So old. A good sign helping out at your dog hospice, because Lulu is on its last... She looks like a dog hospice. Don't say that.

You are such a bad man. ZM's Flesh Warner Megan. Play ZM. Friday Flashback. It's a tradition on Friday we pick a song. It's got to be at least 10 years old and a banger. It is both of those things. Normally not meatloaf like last week.

The people loved it. People were turning off in droves. This song is just eligible this year. Okay. It's described as Baroque pop with gospel elements. Baroque pop? You know they do. With gospel elements. Okay. It's described as Baroque pop with gospel elements. Baroque pop? You know they do. With gospel elements. Yeah. So the person made

this song when they were hungover. It feels really good for this time in the country because, you know, we're almost at the traffic light system. Aucklanders have had a lot of time in lockdown. Yep. And she said it sounds optimistic but sad at the same time. Thinking of regrets when you're stuck in yourself

and you keep repeating certain patterns or days for us. And you kind of want to cut that part out and restart. So this song is kind of like shake yourselves out of it. Things will be okay. Yeah. Put it in, please, Jared. Mm-hmm. I knew it was going to be this song, and I'm very happy about it.

It's a bit of Florence today. Shake it out. Great song. ZM. ZM. And all of the goods come out to play. And every demon wants his pound of flesh. But I like to keep some things to myself. I like to keep my issues strong.

It's always darkest before the dawn. And I've been a fool and I've been blind I can never leave the past behind I can see no way, I can see no way I'm always dragging that horse around All of his questions such a mournful song Thank you. Shake it up, shake it up, oh, oh Shake it up, shake it up, shake it up, shake it up, oh, oh And it's hard to dance with the devil on your back So shake me up, oh, oh

And I am done with my graceless heart So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart Cause I like to keep my issues low It's always darkest before the dawn Shake it up, shake it up And it's hard to dance with the devil on your back So shake your mind Thank you. So here's to drinks in the dark At the end of my road And I'm ready to suffer And I'm ready to hold It's a shot in the dark

And right at my throat Cause I'm looking for heaven From the devil in me Looking for heaven From the devil in me But who are they? I'm not double me When we're over there And then I let it happen To me

Shake it up, shake it up Shake it up, shake it up Shake it up, shake it up Shake it up, shake it up And it's hard to dance But it's never like a dance So shake it up, oh Shake it up, shake it up, shake it up, shake it up

Shake it up, shake it up, shake it up, shake it up And it's hard to dance with the devil on your back So shake him up, oh It's Florence in the Machine, your Friday flashback. Shake it out. God, I love her. I've seen her like five times, I think. It's one of my last concerts, last festivals. She's great.

She always does her shows in bare feet, wears a big flowy dress. Spins around. It's good stuff. It's amazing. Well, um... Is this good feedback? We normally touch on the feedback. I mean, it was a great song.

People saying, yes, Megan, perfect. Go, Megan, good stuff. But it's no meatloaf. Is that what they're saying? Someone said, leave it to Vaughn to do through a flashback. Someone said that's not a banger. Oh, that is an absolute banger. It's a different class of banger, but it's definitely a banger.

Definition of a banger. It's definitely a banger. Good feedback. I've just thought of next week's. Okay, carry on. Have you? Yeah. Is it good?

What is it? How old is it? You're going to love it, but it's not a mainstream hit. Oh, yes. Oh, you can't play it if it's not a mainstream hit. I'll do what I want. It's nearly Christmas. You played Meatloaf.

Speaking of music, Adele's album's out today. Please, over the weekend, work on your segues. Okay. Maybe make that a goal for 2022. Better segues. You've let down the show with segues this year. Yeah, you have. Yeah, that was a song.

Speaking of other songs. The thing about a segue, the listener, you listener, you shouldn't notice it. Right. It should be so seamless. Okay. Like a slide on through. It's a marvelous. From one. Like a slide on through. It's a marvellous. From one British songstress to another.

Yeah, but now you've made it obvious. It's Adele's new album. You've made it obvious you're segwaying, and that's why I'm saying you've got sloppy with your segways. I have got sloppy with my segways. It's something I've recognised in myself lately. Well, Adele's new album's out today. Speaking of sloppy.

Excuse me. What? I shall not have a bad word said about Adele. No, not about Adele. Is it one of her songs called Sloppy? No.

No, it's not. I drink wine or something in one of them. Yeah, and you get sloppy. So the album 30 is out from Adele. That is her first single has already had,

what did I say before? Like 227 million streams. Yeah. Which is mad because what, it's been out not even a month. Yeah. Oh, not even a month. No way. The TV special on Monday as well for New Zealanders. Well,

James Blunt has popped up on Twitter as he famously does. Oh, he's great. He's great on Twitter. We interviewed him about his book. Remember he was on his... Yeah, how to be a complete Blunt or whatever. Yeah. It was all about his tweets back to people. Very funny man.

He says, I do solemnly swear that if my new album, Out Tomorrow, goes to number one, I will never write, record or sing another song for as long as I shall live. Why is he releasing an album the same day as Adele? It's like when a Marvel movie comes out. Don't all the other studios just do theirs the week before

or three weeks after. Isn't that what Ed Sheeran did? He like spaced it out. He doesn't want any part of Adele being near Adele. Oh, really? Yeah. So here to go a bit earlier. Yeah. So what day is Adele going? But do they like, I'm going on November 9th, Ed.

He's like, alright, I'll give you a bit of room. Yeah. But do they ring each other? Or the record companies? No, the record companies would know, wouldn't they? They do. Or have some kind of idea. Yeah.

Yeah. But it's like chalk and cheese, though, really. It's a classic thunder stealing. Who's stealing whose thunder? Adele's stealing hers. What thunder? Adele is stealing everybody's thunder? Adele's stealing his. What thunder? Adele is stealing everybody's thunder.

Yeah. He's like and Adele's like one of those thunders that you're like goes for ages and you're like when's it gonna stop?

And then you can feel it in your chest after it's stopped and you think you might have had a heart attack. Yeah. That's the sort of thunder.

But it got us to thinking we want to hear those thunder stealing stories when someone tried to steal your thunder. Yeah. It us to thinking, we want to hear those thunder-stealing stories when someone tried to steal your thunder. Yeah, it's your big day, but something else happens. Maybe a world event

or a disaster. Or just someone. Or it's your wedding and your sister proposes. What? No, don't do that. She wouldn't do that. Don't do that at a wedding.

She wouldn't do that. Definitely people propose at weddings. It's a no-no. Don't do that. Don't propose at weddings. That's somebody else's day. That's not your weddings. It's a no-no. Don't do that. Don't propose at weddings. That's somebody else's day. That's not your day.

It's Adele. Easy on me. Her album is out now, 30, which I imagine will be, by the end of the weekend, the most streamed album everywhere, all over the world. And it's unfortunate timing because James Blunt, remember James Blunt? We spoke to him.

It was earlier this year. Very funny man on Twitter. He's releasing his album today as well, which seems like a monumental balls up. But I think he may have realised this, that Adele is stealing his thunder because he's tweeted. He has said that if his album released tomorrow gets the number one, he promises he shall never write, record or sing another song for as long as he shall live.

Now, safe bet. Yeah. The blunts out there, the blunt fans, probably aren't going to outnumber the Adele fans. Not what I doubt. But it also lets everybody know that his album's for sale. Yeah, he's very smart. Very funny man.

Very smart man. We want to know though when someone's stolen your thunder because Adele is stealing every musician's thunder now that the album is out. They won't be able to get a number one. No.

Yeah. It's my album release day too. No one wants to hear about it. That's all you can tell people. I can only imagine what your album would sound like. I would have had a good album. It would be a spoken word.

Yeah. That's an audio book, Vaughn. No, it's not. There's no words. I'm just making it up as I go along. Danielle, when did somebody steal your thunder? So it wasn't my thunder. It was my mum's thunder.

Okay. When my mum got married to my dad, my auntie came out saying that she was pregnant with her first kid. Not on her special day. At the wedding. Wow. And how did Mo's mum upset about that? She was very upset about it. She's still

bitter towards my auntie to this day. Wow. I would be too. That's a Vaughan Smith level grudge, holding it that many decades. Danielle, thanks for your call. Some text messages in. I had my first baby

and my younger sister then had hers. So I was going to have my first baby and then my younger sister had hers a few days later, but none of us even knew she was pregnant. She's one of those people that it's like, oh, surprise, baby. I wanted to surprise you guys.

That's an accidental stealing, isn't it? Stealing the thunder? Yeah. Yeah. Unless she said at Christmas, you know, me and my partner plan to have sex to procreate on March the 5th. And our sister was like, well, we'll do it at the end of February then, shall we? Sure. That seems like a very unusual and not very likely situation.

My mum died and a week later Lady Diana died. It still pisses me off. You can't be angry about that. Who are you angry at? I'm being angry at the paparazzi. You're being angry, yeah Yeah, the royal family. I'm sure both of them would have liked it a different way. Yeah, no one wanted to die that week, I don't think.

No. But it still happened. God, every time Di pops up on the news, they must just be like, or in a magazine. Fresh moon. Mum should have been on that magazine cover. I don't know. Yeah, I think you might just be,

we need to work through this actually. That probably sounds like you need to sit down with someone and have't know. Yeah, I think you might just be. We need to work through this, actually. That probably sounds like you need to sit down with someone and have a chat. Yeah. Somebody said it was coming up to my birthday, and then my sister said that she was getting induced, which is where they trigger the pregnancy. Yeah. And I said, well, as long as it's not on my birthday.

And then she booked it on my birthday. So this baby absolutely not on my birthday. And then she booked it on my birthday. So this baby absolutely stole my thunder. It has the same birthday now as yours. Someone said the Prime Minister stole my thunder. The day I was going to announce I was pregnant, Jacinda bet me to it. Still boils my blood. Oh, I thought she was going to announce a level four and the Prime Minister bet her to it.

I am announcing it. I'm in lockdown. The bloody Prime Minister, she's always beating me to my lockdown announcements my brother's now wife announced at my hen's party that she's going to marry my brother in front of my mother

before she was even asked then a week later wore full head to toe white to my wedding oh she's got problems she's now my sister-in-toe white to my wedding. Oh, don't hit her in the door. Oh, she's got problems. She's now my sister-in-law. She's still around. Oh, no.

She's still around. Good luck with that. Good luck. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day fact of the day. It is going to trip you out. Okay. It's one of those ones where in the end you're possibly going to be more confused,

but it's pretty amazing. Today's fact of the day is if you could accelerate constantly at 1G, which is gravity. Yeah. You know how they'll be like, the pilot hit 5G, 5Gs. Or your human body passes out at like 9 to 10G. Yeah. It's the force of gravity times 10.

Right. So if it just happened upon you right now, you'd be 10 times heavier. Right. No one wants that. A, it'd be very hard on your body. Oh, no. B, don't step on the scales. That's not your fault. You've done nothing and you're 10 times heavier now No one wants that. A, it'd be very hard on your body. B, don't step on the scales. That's not your fault.

You've done nothing and you're 10 times heavier now. It's gravity. But if you could accelerate constantly at 1G, by the end of your lifetime, you would be at the other side of the known universe. Oh, okay. Because acceleration, you know when you accelerate in your car

and you get to 100 k's an hour and you stop, your acceleration is zero because you accelerate in your car Yeah And you get to 100km an hour And you stop Your acceleration is zero Because you're not going any faster Because you're not accelerating Exactly You're staying at 100 Yeah

Right So when you pin it in a race car Or an aeroplane Pins you to your seat Yeah And then you do cruising speed And you're like Well now it feels like we're not moving at all

Yeah That's Constant speed Constant speed is different to acceleration. You accelerated to get to the constant speed, but then acceleration stops. But if you could continue to accelerate constantly at 1G, which is almost like indistinguishable, by the end of your lifetime, you would be on the other side of the galaxy. Here's the bad news.

Yeah. There's no shops. Absolutely. Absolutely. Like, you's no shops. Absolutely. Absolutely. You'll be real hungry. That is at the low end of the bad news for you. That is at the very low end of the bad news for you.

Okay. It will feel like a few decades of travel for you. So again, pack a lunch. There's no shops out there. But the rest of the universe will experience Billions of years in that time You remember that movie The one where

Matthew McConaughey, Interstellar How he's like, you can go to that planet But you got every minute down there Is three or four years up here And they go and they're slightly delayed And they come back and the guy's like I've been waiting for 21 years because the time changed.

Yeah, right. So you would experience a few decades of travel. Billions of years would pass. By the time you stopped and turned around, the sun that we're around would have extinguished. Every single person you know would have been dead for billions of years. I can't.

Sometimes I can't delve into this space stuff. And if you came back. It blows my mind. Yeah. More time would have passed. And there's probably no shops either. Absolutely. Because they'd be all destroyed.

Or the best shops ever. Yeah. Depending on where we go as a species and what undertakes from here. My COVID pass would have run out because they're only valid six months. Oh, you'd get back. That's six months. Oh, you get back. That's the other thing. You'd get back. You would have

all these diseases to catch up on. You'd have to go into self-isolation because you wouldn't have any immunity against all the diseases that have developed

since you'd been gone. What a trip. I'm sorry about that. What a trip. I'm sorry. I hope no one had a wake and bake this morning because they had a day off.

And now they're like, what if we fall out of gravity? Don't. You won't. You're absolutely fine. So today's fact of the day is if you could accelerate at 1G for the rest of your life, you could travel to the other side of the known universe. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I had a video conversation with my parents last night.

They were in the middle of dinner. I said, I'll call you back. Mum's like, no, no, it's fine. And I had to watch her eat. My parents wouldn't even answer the phone if they were having dinner. Oh, they answered the tablet and they flipped it in its case and they sat it there so I could see neither of them. What are you having?

And it cracked me up because I just grew up with it, so I didn't think anything of it. But seeing it now, it's funny. A salad, but the salad is like iceberg lettuce. Yeah. Just pulled off leaf by leaf and just chucked on a plate. And then a tomato, but it's not like sliced tomato. It's like cut into quarters.

Quarters, yeah. Like these huge chunks of tomato. And she's like, stabarters, yeah. Like these huge chunks of tomatoes. And she's like, stab, stab, hum. And it's horrible because everything's so, the iceberg lettuce is so crunchy.

It's like, she eats with her mouth shut but just that initial hum. Was there boiled potatoes? 100% they would have been none. It's a classic Kiwi meal, that, what you've just described.

Potatoes. So, I said, I'll call you back. No, no, no, now I'll do it. And she's like, and I need your help with something.

And I was like, okay. Because that's my deal with them. I've made a deal. They can ask me anything. I'd rather they asked. Than get scammed online. Totally. Yep.

Totally. And if they need help with it, I said, you just ask. And they said, we need to get Nan her vaccine passport. Now, this is my mum's mum, Marlene, who I've talked about on the show, knows everything about the Warriors. Oh, she loves the Warriors, doesn't she? Could tell you where the cricketers went wrong about six months before they went wrong. Loves a bit of ruggers, loves the league, loves sports on a whole.

But she's been double vaxxed. But she needs the certificate. And apparently her doctor said that she asked them and they said they were too busy or something. I was like, I can understand telling a 50-year-old you're too busy, but she's 87. She's going to be 88 soon. Keep her age. I think a lot of us are going to have to help, you know,

the elderly parents or grandparents in our lives sort this out. So it's actually super easy. It was easier for me because I'd already linked my real me to the health thing. Yep. And so it was like literally like two clicks. Here it is. Yeah, right. But Marlene doesn't have one of those.

How would she have one of those for? That's what my mum said. And also a lot of old people don't even have like a smartphone. Yeah. Mine don't even have a tablet. So my mum and dad had worked it out for themselves. So that's why I was a little bit puzzled. I was like, why am I getting roped in for Nan's?

Mum's like, well, we've used both of our email addresses. We used the Hotmail one for your father. No, Gmail one for your father. We've used the Yahoo one for me. I know, it's still Rocky Yahoo. Like they couldn't make another email. No way, that would be confusing.

They had me on the phone. Mum said, do you have a spare email? I said, yeah, I've got a spare email. So I said, but I am going to need

some details. Right. And I had her health number. I needed her driver's license number and the type of driver's license.

Yep. And the site was very busy so every now and then it would be like traffic's too much. So I just kept hitting refresh and then eventually got in. Yeah. And the site was very busy, so every now and then it would be like traffic so much. So I just kept hitting refresh and then eventually got in. Yeah.

And signed it up. Done and dusted. Hero. Nan's got her Vax card. And so she, they'll print it out for her. Yeah. Because she'll need it printed out.

So she's off to Bali. She's making the most of life. She's itching to get, she's been itching to get some of those. Doesn't have an email address, but has an Instagram account. I can imagine her sitting in the nest at the rice paddies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, with like big sunglasses on.

Sipping on a Mai Tai or something. She'd be like, Jesus, that's strange. Also, if you do have old people in your life that need the vaccine certificate, they can call the 0800 number and someone on the phone will either help them through the process if they have a smartphone or an email or they can get one sent to them. And there is a place, according to the briefing I watched the other day,

that you'll be able to go to to print them out. I'm assuming libraries or maybe vaccine centres will have printers that they can do this. I hope they've got a good stock. Good paper stock. Oh, yeah. You know, you want a nice maybe. Get it laminated.

Yeah, laminated for durability, of course. And by the sounds of it, steer clear of those people that are setting up their own vaccine cards where they're charging you like $30 to get a little printout or a driver's licence looking thing. Don't do that. Yeah, that's not endorsed by the government at all. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan.

So yesterday I saw a lady, she had a can of soft drink, and before she opened it, she did the tap thing. Like tap the top? Tap the top, because you know if it's a shock and fizzed up, apparently the urban legend is you tap it. It doesn't spray everywhere when you open the can of drink. That's rubbish, right? That's absolute nonsense.

I thought we'd moved on from doing that. I don't know if I ever tapped the top. I never tapped the top. Even when it comes out of like a vending machine and it's like... It doesn't fizz up? Does it? No.

No, you don't need to tap the top. Has it been on Mythbusters? I saw this I mean I could have googled But I just saw this And I was like You stupid girl What are you doing that for?

I'm glad I'm glad That you saw a stranger Do something that lasted Less than a second That absolutely had no It had no bearing on my life You stupid girl What are you doing that for? I was just like, why are you bothering?

But people still bother, right? Like none of you guys do it, right? You don't. Oh, of course you do. Technological review. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Here we go, the producers.

Do you tap the cans before you open them? I do, yeah. Can't wait at the social media. How do you do it? Do you tap it with your nail? Yeah, like a little flick flick. Flick flick on what part? Behind the opening or on the opening?

No, on the side. You go side. And that's always the top. You always see people go tap tap on the top. If it's going to fizz its guts out all over you, a little tippity tap on the top is not going to stop it, is it? I mean, let me have this one thing. Nothing

goes unquestioned here. What about you? You seem like a top tapper. Yeah, I am a top tapper. I'm an index finger on top. It's good security. Aiming for the nail or are you happy for the thud of the finger point? No, I'm looking for a thud. I don't like a nail on tin. I thought the nail

on the tin was the sound everybody was going for. And whereabouts on the tape do you top, the opening or behind the opening? Yeah, the opening. On top of it. So you're supposed to flick the side of the can to displace the bubbles so they get to the top and stop it fizzing over. Producer Jarrod's just sent a message through from Siberia. He said that he does.

He taps the top. Whereabouts on the can? Quick answer, the top. Whereabouts on the can? Quick answer, Jared. Whereabouts on the can do you tap? Because that's the interesting thing as well. The top tap, people are tapping on different parts of the top. He taps by the tab. Look at this.

Somebody's done a scientific research into this with photos inside a can with bubbles. Of course they have. And look at this diagram. So you've got liquid gas bubbles, and then here's a non-tapping diagram. Lots more bubbles. The bubbles seem to be on the side,

holding on the side from the top to bottom of the can. Now, upon opening, they all rush to escape. Whereas if you tap... Where? The side? Any part of it. Any part. The bubbles

escape off the side and it lets them get to the top so that they spread more evenly rather than rushing from the bottom to the top and bringing all that acceleration with them. But they still bubble. It still bubbles but not as projected. It doesn't project. Yeah. But they still bubble. So do you have to go back in time and

take back your comments to that woman because she was right. Well I, I didn't say them to her I said them in my mind, in my judgmental mind So I feel like I don't owe her an apology But also, you're right, if it's going to fizz its guts out It's going to fizz its guts out Exactly In a little tippity-tap

If it's just that little roll, maybe like from a vending machine The dizzying heights of the third layer of a vending machine Do you know actual life dream? It's up there. One of my bucket list things is to take a soft drink can to Bunnings. You know that paint machine that shakes it? Bart did it in The Simpsons. What Bart did in The Simpsons with Homer's beer.

Every child who's familiar with that episode of The Simpsons, he takes a can of Homer's Duff beer and takes it to a paint shaking machine and gets him to shake it for ages. And he's walking along and it's going... And he gets it home and Homer opens it and it, like, nuclear explosions. Yeah. You know, that's not, like...

You could probably get someone to do that for you. I mean, aim higher is all I'm saying. I'm a simple man, Megan. Simple man. That... Shush. I'm done. Shush.

ZM's Fleshworn and Megan.