ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 19th October 2020

Episode Date: October 18, 2020

1 in 4 men...  Bluff or Stuff!  Top 6: Jobs for Outgoing National MP's  Audio Ninja Warrior  Where did you bump into an Ex?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Buy five McCafe coffees and get one free on the Maccas app. Oh yes, we've just been singing a little The classic early 2000s remix. I've been getting roasted behind the scenes as well because I said to the guys because you know I haven't had a car for... As long as I've known you, at least. Actually?

Yeah. Yeah, you never had a car. Oh, shit. No, you got rid of it in... So it would have been 12 or 13 years ago. I've never known you with a car. So I still drive like rent cars or whatever. Badly.

Because I've lived in the city that long. Yeah. But I was like, what kind of car? Because I'm thinking maybe I'll get one. Yeah. So what kind of car, if I do, because I've lived in the city that long. But I was like, what kind of car? Because I'm thinking maybe I'll get one. So what kind of car, if I do, would I drive? And tell everyone what you wanted. No, I just said I could get a cute little V-dub, like a little polo. Which is what you told both of you absolutely roasted Anya

when she wanted to get that little V-dub. She was going to get like a 20-year-old one that would break down every two weeks. You're such a hypocrite. And you're like, how much is a Mercedes? They're real expensive. There is absolutely no way. Can you get like a pretty brand new Mercedes for like 50k? You actually can't.

Maybe in a different currency where 50k is. Probably get a Mazda 2 at this rate just looking at the prices. That's a good car. Oh mum's got one. They're bloody lovely. If you bought like a Mercedes or an Audi there's absolutely no way you would get away with that on the show. Oh no yeah there's no way I could drive one of those. You'd absolutely roast it.

I'd just get roasted. And they're too expensive. That's not happening. You're more of a seat. A seat. A seat. How do they say that? A seat. Oh no I don't know. What about a skoda? My friend Morgan's got a skoda It's very zippy Yeah I passed one On the way to work

This morning They were pissing around I reckon Do you reckon I could Pull off a Suzuki Swift Yes Nah because you'd Rip the piss out of me again

Yeah It's so stressful I don't even want to Think about buying a car To be honest It's very stressful Yeah it's odd how A car says so much

About your personality What about a Mahindra? You can't get a ute in the city. Everyone would just be like what do you need that for? Almost like more of a truck than a ute. Yeah, right. Gotta tell you what, I'd love to take home a Black Thunder every night, but

Jase ruined that, didn't he? He certainly did. Taking a Black Thunder home in a pool car every night? Listen, I would have done it too if I could get away with it. Fantastic. Well, enjoy the podcast. Good morning.

Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Well, if you're struggling on this Monday morning, it's a long weekend. We've got a long weekend to look forward to. Next Monday off, which means the return of the long weekend group to it on Friday. Friday. Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. It's exciting.

Four sleeps. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Yep, four sleeps. Four sleeps to go. If you're up. Unless you're planning an afternoon nap. A big weekend, the election. Did you watch any of the coverage?

Yeah, I did, yeah. You were messaging the group chat quite late. Well, I went out for dinner and then the place we were having dinner was right next to where the ACT party was having their... little soiree. Did you pop next door? I saw the boat that David Seymour arrived on.

Right, and he was quite... Was he quite tipsy? He seemed tipsy. Yeah, right. He seemed full of bravado. Right, okay. Because he said he doesn't drink. Right.

So he might have, you know, might have just had a couple to calm the nerves, but because he doesn't drink, they went straight through him. Yeah, because he's been hurting the Red Bulls on his campaign. Might have had some Red Bull, some body Red Bulls. Some Jager bombs.

Could have been on the cards. But yeah, then I went home and watched the coverage. It was good. It's good. Being a mouthpiece for the left. Not a bad night. How are the top six dealing with the election results? Well, if there's one thing we've heard lately,

is that there's lots of seasonal work going. And I don't know if you know, but there's lots of now unemployed National Party MPs. So I've got the top six jobs for outgoing National MPs coming up in the top six. Also, one in three British people have admitted to doing this, and it's pretty grim. Mankey. Mankey. Mankey. So very mankey. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

I said one in three, but it's actually one in four. So, oh, it's not that. You stand corrected. Yeah, this is much better. This is actually really disgusting, and women don't come off unscathed either. But one in four men admit to not changing their undies every day.

Oh, that is certainly not me. Sometimes I'll do two pairs in a day. Yeah, same. It's because you're germane. You get sweaty. I don't wear undies to the gym. What? I don't wear undies to the gym.

Controversial. Wait, what? Are you wearing shorts? Yeah. Wait, you wear your athletic short with a built-in liner. Oh, no. You've got a built-in knicker. No, the built-in grill.

The built-in knicker. It's a built-in mesh grill. You talk to my bulls, mate. They are happier now than they were. You don't wear undies. There's too much going on. They get too hot and there's chafing. They are not meant to contain. They do a fantastic job on. They get too hot and there's chafing. They are not meant to contain.

They do a fantastic job containing. That's what they're there for. Gym shorts. The mesh in gym shorts. It's like a swim short. It's a... Oh, no, not the ones. No, no, no, not mine.

These are proper. They're the same material like your undies. Like that. No, they're not. It's not a big gritty dad-tog mesh. You need to upgrade your gym pants if they've got a dad-tog mesh in them. Those aren't meant to be your undies. They are.

They're not meant to be. No, they're not. Wow, they work for me. They're not meant to replace your undies. If I go with undies, there's endless amounts of chafing. I get overheated in the area. You're not getting ball chafing from the undie lining? Absolutely not.

Oh, that's disgusting. No, you wear underwear at the gym. You look at those shorts and you're like, oh, they come with undies. No, I used to wear undies with them. It was bloody horrible. Horrible. And so one day I was just like, I'm going to try it without. And it was a breath of fresh air.

Literally, I'm a balls and man. You're so lucky you haven't been. Exposed the ball. Yeah, and injected from your gym. It's not. You haven't been doing crunches And balls popped out Lunges

Or the little tip Just poked out the slime No You'd be aware If the tip was working its way out I'm very I'm I'm

I'm hyper aware Of my penis's positioning Right At any given moment It's very odd You're not wearing underwear At the gym That's like

Yuck No No it's not It's good Because then you You wearing underwear at the gym. That's like yuck. No, it's not. It's good because then you take your undies off and then afterwards you shower and you put them back on and you're good. Yuck. It's absolutely fine. Do you wear undies under like gym yoga pants or whatever? Yes. Oh, God, I wouldn't.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Unless you're worried about too much outline. I mean, I wouldn't wear like a lycra probably because you'd see the whole thing I wouldn't. Yeah. Oh, my God. Unless you're worried about too much outline. I mean, I wouldn't wear like a lycra, probably because you'd see the whole thing, wouldn't you? Like cyclists, you can tell when they've got no undies on because they'll clop into a cafe and you can see their balls. But so do you wash your gym shorts every time?

Every time. Okay. Jesus, yeah, those things get sweaty. Yeah, so 22% of men, but do you, 18% of women reuse their undies too. But some guys have admitted to wearing their undies five times or more before washing them. No! That's just rough. I feel if anyone's going to reuse their undies, it would be Producer Jared.

Producer Jared, how many times? That's a hard... That's offensive. Yeah, I would take that offensively as well. How many days? I change my undies every day. Okay, I'll apologize. You seem like one of those wear undies every couple of days.

I'm still waiting for the apology, though. Yeah, I just said I'll apologize. Saying I'll apologize doesn't constitute an apology. No, that's an apology. No, it's not. I'll apologize. No, it's not. I apologize. I'll apologize says it, it's not. I apologise.

I'll apologise. It says it's on the horizon. I apologise. Thank you, Fletch. My balls are also like an apology. No, that's nasty. Your balls are not getting an apology. Oh, they don't issue any apologies either.

They are who they are. Also, what about a shart? I don't shart at the gym. That's more on you. You wear undies all the time. I'm just saying that undies are always there. I mean, a shart's an accidental thing. Yeah, it's an accident.

I mean, not that I have. It's never happened. Well, now that you've said it's going to happen, I probably shart myself today. I'm really rolling the dice at this. I feel like your gym needs a warning sign. Be aware, something can pop out. No, they won't. Material's not built

for that. Maybe yours actually. No foul. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. A couple in Switzerland have caused a stir. They have scored themselves free Wi-Fi for 18 years. Free internet.

Wow. So, just doing the maths, what would that be? How much is your internet? Mine's, I think, $99 or something a month? $100 a month? Yeah, mine's like $95, but it's not fiber, it's copper cables. So you've got to pick up the

paper phone and make sure the string's tight. So if it's $99 times that by 12 months and then times that by 18 years, that's $21,000 with free internet. But then I'm guessing it would probably be more as the years go on or maybe less. Well, that's how much a couple have scored after naming their baby after the internet provider in Switzerland. Internet providers, what's your average lifespan for internet providers? I mean, the big one, the big dogs have been around. Yeah, yeah, the big talcos.

But some of them merge, don't they? Yeah. They get gobbled up by the other ones or they go out of business. And what if that deal doesn't stand when, you know, this smaller one's idea is they want to get big enough to sell off. Baby tweifer. Tweifer? Tweifer. T-W

I-F-I-A So it's T-Wi-Fi and I think they've added an A. T-Wi-Fi and then A is the baby's name. So they've kind of... T-Wi-Fi right, right. T-Wi-Fi and then A. Oh. Is the baby's name. So they've kind of. T-Wi-Fi.

Right, right. T-Wi-Fi. Twiffia. Twiffia. Twiffia. This is in Switzerland too. The company, the parents took up the offer, advertised on the company's website. They asked people to simply upload a photo of your child's birth certificate and you get 18 months, 18 years, sorry, free Wi-Fi.

Twyphia. Twyphia. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Polconia. I was just thinking of something like, oh, right, okay. Sparky. Sparky?

I know my dog Sparky. What if, okay, what if Spark did it, Sparky. Sparky? I'd name my dog Sparky for free. Okay, what if Spark did it, but it was like free internet for the life of your whatever you name it after. So if you name it after a dog, Sparky, you get like... 14 years. Depending what breed. Yeah. If you're going to do this, get one of those long breeds,

one of those little mugs that lives for like 20 years. Everybody would do this, and then Spark would regret breeds. One of those little mutts that lives for like 20 years. Everybody would do this and then Spark would regret it and have to start killing people's dogs. And there'd be so many Sparkies. Yeah. You'd go to the dog park and everyone would be like, Sparky! Yeah. But a baby,

it's caused a bit of an outrage. And I like that it's just the 18 years that that child has to be under your care and then Twiff, Twiff, Twiefer? Twiefer, yeah. Is just out in the world with a dumb name and no free internet. On their own. Yeah.

Having to pay for internet. Yeah. Oh, God. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Bluff or Stuff. And we welcome to Bluff or Stuff.

Is it Erika? Yeah. Good morning, Erika. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Good. All right.

So you're playing today for a status anxiety. A wallet. Oh, okay. I know. And we've left a price sticker on from Suprette. On purpose. So you know how much we've spent on you, Erika. Yeah, it's a birthday party

power move. It is, isn't it? Okay, so one of us is holding it, Erica, but we're all going to tell you we're holding it. You've got to get through the BS and work out

who actually is holding it to win. And I can tell you I'm holding it because do you hear that? I'm rubbing my finger over it. Oh, okay. Yeah, I do.

Are we allowed to take it out of the box? Yeah. I've taken it out of the box. I know, but that's why I was asking. Are you allowed to take it out of the box? Yeah, it looks like some kind of alligator leather. It's all nicely wrapped. I don't really want to take it out.

It's got bumps on it. See? So it's a leather wallet, but it's not a croc leather. Like it's just a boss croc. So it looks like croc. It looks like croc. Because we don't want croc at all. That's why you could hear my finger running over us.

Yeah, right. It says in it, real nice leather. Yeah. Not like 100% leather or it just says real nice. It sounds like it's not then. Right. What's that piece of paper? Okay, so what is it?

The six-pone cell is not holding it. Oh, there's another tag inside with another thing saying how much we spent on you as well, Erica. Yeah, I just showed you that. I know, but Erica doesn't know that, does she? But you can, there's a compartment that'll hold your phone as well. Oh, like is that't know that, does she? But you can, there's a compartment that'll hold your phone as well. Oh.

And it's got a... Like, is that where the coins go as well? Yeah, you can put some coins in. Where would you put your phone? In there. In this bit. No, you wouldn't put your phone in there. That'd make it chunky.

Yeah. Or make it real chunky. I suppose it does make it only carry one thing. Absolutely put your phone in there. Yeah, okay. Well, yeah, that fits your phone, doesn't it? It does. Oh.

I've just put my phone in there. Oh, you guys are making this hard. Hey, do you like zips? Yeah. Oh, shall I make a zip noise? That's me making the zip noise. Wow, it's got a zip. Can you not ruin that?

Now I'll put it all back together for you. Put it back on the box. All right, so, Erica, you need to eliminate one of us. Who's definitely not holding it? I reckon Megan's not holding it. That is correct. Right.

I thought it was doing really well, actually. No, rubbish. Okay, so, Erica, who is definitely holding it? Who do you think's holding it? Oh, Eric and Vaughn. That is correct. Nice.

You win. You got a new, in the beginning, wallet made of black crocodile. It's not an actual crocodile. It's not an actual crocodile. I'm so glad you called it out, Fletch, because he's like pointing out to Vaughn what was on the packet. And then I didn't get eliminated first. Hey, you knew what you were doing.

A recap, congratulations. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan, the podcast. Three in ten women suffer this. That's almost a quarter. They have called it tech neck. It's more than a quarter. Tech neck. Almost a quarter say it has noticeably,

their neck has aged noticeably. So what does that mean, like wrinkles? What, because you're always stretching your neck? Yeah. There must be a way of working out your neck's age. Because you know how you can do your metabolic of stretching your neck. Yeah. There must be a way of working out your neck's age. Because you know how you can do your like metabolic age, your like age. There must be a way of working out your neck's age. Count the wrinkles, like tree rings, maybe.

So they reckon it's got worse during the pandemic as well, because everyone's using their phones way more and even Zoom calls and stuff. You know how many people don't set up, always have your laptop like high. It's the same as when you're taking a selfie, otherwise it's a bad angle. But lots of people are doing bad angles on their Zoom calls and like, well,

that's why there's been a rise in cosmetic surgery inquiries and treatments. Because everyone's looking at themselves all the time. Everybody's Zooming and looking at themselves and thinking, God, is that what I look like? It is sad, yeah. Still makes it mean to yourself.

Yeah. And a rise in people buying specific neck creams to sort out lines on their neck. It's not the fact because I know that younger, the people with the neck injuries, because I hurt my, what are they, can you call those discs, eh? They reckon that's getting really bad now

for all the hunching over that we do on our phone screens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's getting really bad. That's what I thought it would be. No, it is that as well. It's that as well. It's the whole shebang. It's the whole shebang.

So if you have even shoulder, like a pain in your shoulder, which is what I get. Yeah. Or a pain in your neck. Yeah is what I get. Yeah. Or a pain in your neck. Yeah. That's probably from tech neck. Because we're just always hunching over on our phone screens.

Yeah. Wow. It's really hard to correct though. But how is it making your neck wrinkly? Is it because you stretch your neck down and then you go back and it's stretched? Well, when you go down, you're putting creases in your neck. Oh, okay, right. It's probably all the sourdough bread too.

Yeah, it's not the food we're eating, is it? Like sourdough is always like a very rare treat pre-2020. But everybody's been making their own and buying it and then buying it and pretending they made it. And I'm just saying there's been a lot more. Sourdough. And we haven't looked into the long-term implications of sourdough on the gobble. Right, on the gobble.

Yeah, my double chin is definitely from my phone. Not the food. Yeah. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast, ZM. From the dusty ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Welcome to the top six. Just a fascinating piece I've just seen.

A while ago, I was talking to a doctor when I went to the doctor, and he said he was on the Labour Party list, and he was based out of Hamilton, and I just see Dr Gaurav Sharma won in Hamilton West. Yeah. And I'm wondering if that's the same doctor. I can't remember his name. Right.

But he did check my prostate, and it was all good. But it was a while ago, so I'm just wondering. Could be a man in Parliament. Who's had his finger up my ass? That's what I was getting at. Fantastic. Fantastic. Someone with the beehives?

Be inside of me. Wow. Brilliant. How was your prostate? I don't know if it's the same guy. Before you tarnish that man with. Yes, exactly. Wait, when did this happen?

I don't know. Just a routine sort of a check-up thing? But wouldn't you know if he's your general doctor? No, he wasn't. Oh, was he like a locum, like a fill-in doctor? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what he was doing. Around the place.

God, imagine getting bloody put on the teatitude job for a week and a guy like me walks in and he's like, I've got a couple of questions. Wow. Anyway, that seems like a good place to start. Today's top six is the top six jobs for national MPs

who lost their jobs at the weekend. Now, I understand some of these will still get on the list. That's not what this thing's about. But also, can I say,

I found an amazing website called seasonaljobs.co.nz. Yeah. And it's got like a big list of like seasonal jobs and like people who are hiring seasonal work in your area. I know they're having trouble filling a lot of these jobs.co.nz. Yeah. And it's got like a big list of like seasonal jobs and like people who are hiring seasonal work in your area. I know they're having trouble filling a lot of these jobs.

100%. That's why they can't get immigrant workers to come in as freely as previously due to COVID-19. Yeah. So they're saying if New Zealanders want to pick up seasonal work, there's going to be absolutely no shortage of it. Students are like, no, too hard. I know.

Rather work at Kmart. They need my mum. Yeah, I know. Who would have literally dragged you down there and thrown you out of the car at the kiwi fruit. I'd be no good because I'd eat all the stone fruit and the cherries and then you'd shit yourself. You'd only do that one day, yeah, and then you'd shit yourself.

Yeah. All right, so the top six seasonal jobs then. Okay. For National Party MPs who didn't make the cut on Sat D. Number six, we'll start in Hamilton West. Tim McIndoe lost, but luckily at the Karangahaki Gorge, there's some front of house staff needed. Okay.

That's what you weave through between Pairoa and Waihi. Yeah. And there's that hotel in there all the time. Yeah. And you're like, I'd love to stop there for a look one day. But I don't want to. But who's stopping for a beer

in the middle of a very windy road? Yeah. To then jump back in their car and keep driving. I've always wanted to get out there and have a wander around, go over the bridge. Have you? I think you would love the tunnel.

Yeah, I'd love to. Some of the old tunnels. People ride their bikes and stuff through them. All right, interesting. Number five on the list of the top six jobs for national MPs who didn't win their seats at the weekend. Number five, Nick Smith, who lost to Nelson. He's been there since I remember.

He's been there forever. Forever and a day. Well, luckily for Nick Smith, the vineyards over at Blenheim are desperately in need of workers. That's what it said on the job listing. Desperately need. Okay.

To pick the grapes. Yeah, all manner of things to do. He could even play your cards right, Nick. You might get to drive the little tractor. Cute. Wouldn't that be nice? It would. Cute. Wouldn't that be nice? It would be cute. Wouldn't that be nice?

He'll need a hat on, though, because he'll get sunburned. He does look like it all day. Yeah, he looks like he'd be a candidate for some... A red face. Anybody's a candidate with those sunshine hours out there in the sun. True. Wear a hat if you're in the vineyard. Number four on the list of the top six jobs for National MPs

who didn't win their seats at the weekend. Alfred Nardo there in Te Atatu lost to Phil Twyford despite the fact that Alfred started out the last week in the lead up to election sharing a whole lot of really fake news about his opponent. Who would have thought that? Didn't get him over the line.

But great news for Alfred in West Auckland. So many strawberry picking jobs. Oh, I'd love that. See again, I couldn't do that. I'd eat them all. Yeah. Auckland, so many strawberry picking jobs. Oh, I'd love that. See, again, I couldn't do that. I'd eat them all. Yeah. There's so many places out there growing strawberries.

And, like, you can do squats. Squat, pick, squat, pick. Get a tan. 100%. That's exactly what. Yeah, get your tan on, get some squats in, eat some strawberries, and you're outdoors. Yep.

Might be able to make some honeys too. That's what I was thinking, yeah. Some local honeys too because they won't be from, you know, like overseas who are just here for seasonal work. Number three on the list of the top six jobs for outgoing national MPs that didn't win their seat at the weekend. From the Whanganui area, Hariti Hipango did not win her seat. Okay.

But great news. Well, actually, bad news. Right. There's no seasonal work right where she lives. Okay. In Whanganui. However, front of house staff in Martinborough. Perfect.

People are looking for that. And it's just down the road. It's just down the road. Road-ish. It's down our road. You have to take a road to get there. Number two on the list of the top six jobs for National MPs that didn't win their seats at the weekend, Chris Bishop.

I don't know if you caught it. Oh, he looked so sad on the news when they crossed to him. Yeah. So sad. It's a tight race, he said. It wasn't, Chris. It wasn't. But great news just up the road as well.

General work at Berry Far farms in the tunnels. Those are those plastic tunnels. Oh, my God, it would get hot in there. It would be like a sauna the whole time. And you know how happy those Nordic countries are. They're always sauna-ing. Yeah. And help yourself to a couple of blueberries, but not too many blueberries.

And number one on the list of the top six jobs for national MPs Have yourself to a couple of blueberries, but not too many blueberries. And number one on the list of the top six jobs for national MPs that didn't win their seats at the weekend. Great news for Gerry Brownlee. Okay. He's out. He's out. He's held that seat since it started in like the beginning of time. Yeah.

He'll probably still be in on the list. Yeah. But if not, there is a cleaner required at Hamner Springs. And that's just, that's very close to where he lives. Yeah. So, yeah. Go and do that job. Yeah.

He probably gets free hot pools with that job too. Don't you think? That'd be great. Hydra slides? Is there a slide? Is there slides? Absolutely there is. Great slides.

He'd love it. He'll be so happy. Get out the budgie smugglers. You're welcome for that visual. That's something to consider. Started this segment with everyone picturing me at the doctor with an ending with jury and budgie smugglers. That's what we call bookending.

Bookending with sexiness. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A wedding in Williamsburg, Brooklyn in New York was shut down before it even happened because the county sheriff

got wind of how many people were on this guest list. And of course, COVID times. And New York's. Yeah, New York's not out of the woods, isn't it? Isn't there more? I know that obviously early on they had real big problems. Huge problems.

Got a bit under control, but I think the second flares popped up again. So 10,000 people were, upwards of 10,000 people were expected to go to this wedding. So they issued an order and shut it down. So they cancelled it before it even happened. Right, just under 2,000 cases at the moment. Right.

Whereas at the peak, they were, yeah, at like 8,000 a day in April. So the wedding was for a grandchild of a notable Hasidic leader. Right. He was the grand rabbi of the synagogue. And apparently when, you know, the whole community comes along. So you can pretty much- Where do you have a wedding with 10,000 people? I don't know.

Just in a field? In a football stadium? Yeah. Well, it probably would be. It would be a stadium wedding. Yeah, right. Like a stadium wedding. And you're? Yeah, it probably would be. It would be a stadium wedding. It would be a stadium wedding. And you're not going to know. A Spark Arena wedding.

How do you cater for that? Isn't that the, what is the capacity of Spark? 12,000. It is 12. Yeah. So that's Spark Arena full for a wedding. You're not going to know everybody there. No, but it's the whole community thing, right? Does everyone bring presents

home? Imagine, I'd be like, cash donations. Yeah. And if it's the whole community thing. Does everyone bring presents home? Imagine. I'd be like, cash donation? Yeah. Well, and if it's the grand rabbi, they'll all be trying to impress grand rabbi. But in some ways it would be easier because you know how cutting down a guest list for a wedding is painful and difficult. But you're just literally inviting everyone.

Everyone comes. On the other side of that, have you guys ever known people to get married and they invite, like they have a massive guest list. Everyone's there, but you're not? That was me and you, basically. We just seemed to, for some reason, fall off the wedding invite list.

Yeah, which I'm not against because, you know. Well, you vocally say how much you don't like weddings. Maybe that has something to do with it. Probably, yeah. I don't particularly like being social. I like your weddings. Oh, thanks. But, you know, I like, like, you know, close friends' weddings.

But I don't like getting invited to, you know... But I love the love story and all the, like, lovey-dovey-ness. I love all the little ceremonial things. But have you ever been cut from a wedding guest list that you really thought you should have been there? Yeah. We've spoken about this. There was a wedding remember there was a wedding and it was like how the hell

did they get invited but like we didn't. I blame the fact that yeah we probably would have if it wasn't for Megan got invited to that one. No I think it's vice versa. I probably would have if I wasn't for Megan got invited to that one. No, I think it's vice versa. I probably would have if I wasn't like attached. Because they'll be like, if we invite Megan, we have to invite Fletcher McGowan.

Uninvited by association by proxy. Yeah. Proxy exclusion. Oh, the proxy exclusion. I wonder if there's anybody listening that didn't make the cut to a wedding and they really should have. Like a sister or a brother or someone really close to whoever's getting married. Yeah.

And there's obviously some issues there and you just didn't make the cut. What about if you got uninvited after you were invited? Oh, no one does that. Yes, they do. Absolutely they do. You say that like you know that that's it. Yeah.

You shouldn't be inviting someone if you're not 100% Maybe then stuff goes down in the drama of the lead up And people get uninvited Oh my god Uninvited It's even worse Way worse Yeah

Okay well let's take some calls I want to know if anybody didn't make the cut for a wedding When they probably should have How hurt were you? Maybe you were happy about it Or maybe there was some drama Maybe you were happy about it. Or maybe there was some drama. Maybe you did get uninvited.

We're talking about weddings. Being, well, I didn't think uninvited was a thing. A possibility. But I thought it was when you didn't make the cut for a wedding you thought you were a shoo-in for. Yeah. There was a wedding's been cancelled in New York. A 10,000 person wedding. Yeah.

So if you didn't make the cut for that person's wedding, you're really not a friend. That would be painful. Well, you're not part of the Hasidic Jewish community of New York. Yeah, true. I mean, there's been some weddings we haven't been invited to. That's right. But you know what?

It's no great loss. It means you didn't have to spend money on a present. On an outfit. You didn't have to buy a new suit because you didn't fit your last one because you put on two KGs. And Fletch didn't have to pretend to on a present. On an outfit. You didn't have to buy a new suit because you didn't fit your last one because you put on two KGs. And Fletch didn't have to pretend to care. Travel and accommodation. Exactly.

You save money not going to this wedding. You don't have a hangover. Photoshop yourself in later. Exactly. Because you're a great guy. So we want to know when you thought you should have been invited to a wedding, you didn't make the cut, or maybe you got uninvited. Joanne, what happened?

I was invited to a wedding, and then I was asked to be a bridesmaid. Oh, okay. And then I was unasked to be a bridesmaid. So did you go to the wedding still? I did go. Her reason was because I couldn't go to both her hen's night and the wedding, that I couldn't be a bridesmaid, because I lived in Australia at the time,

and the wedding was in Palmerston North, so I couldn't be a bridesmaid because I lived in Australia at the time and the wedding was in Palmerston North so I couldn't come back for two weekends. You don't uninvite. But you weren't the maid of honour, right? Like the maid of honour is the main helper with the hen's party. No, yeah, no, I wasn't the maid of honour. I was just a bridesmaid. And she even sent me like

the little thing to the post to Australia to say will you be my bridesmaid? Like a cute little pat. She sent you the post to Australia to say, will you be my bridesmaid? Like a cute little pet. Took it away. Did she send you the post? Yeah, you don't send someone the post and then change your mind. Okay, Joanne, thanks. You called Jay.

You didn't make the cut. Yo, Fletch, what am I making? What is up? Hey. Good morning. Unfortunately, guys, I didn't get invited to my biological father's wedding. So you what, your step mum and your biological father got married and you didn't

make the cut? Exactly. So I found out about two weeks later that my father had gotten married to my step mother. However, we had a great relationship with our step mum. You know, we love her so much, but we just weren't invited and we were only literally around the corner from each

other what so what was the reason one after so they got married and then they tell you what was their reason for not inviting you okay so they didn't tell us we found out through photos from my niece and when i asked my father hey bro did you get married? Are you serious? Are these photos true? He was just like, I don't know what to say. Is it true brother? That's all I want to know. Is this true? And he's like, yeah, yeah, I'm very sorry. I think, bro, are you serious? Me and my older brother sitting here kicking ourselves. Legit. We couldn't believe it. That is crazy.

Guys, I couldn't believe it. Wow. Guys, I couldn't believe it, eh? But in saying that, look, my father and my stepmother are not together anymore, but we still love her. She's a brilliant woman. She really is. But then with your attitude towards everyone involved, I still don't understand why you weren't invited in the first place.

They just decided to have a secret wedding without the children. How many people did they invite? They invited all of her family. Right, okay. But it just wasn't my dad's family. But you're still like, you haven't said a bad word about her? Nah, nah. It's all about that love, eh?

Yeah. Gotta show that love. You're a good man. You're a good man, Jay. Jay, thanks. You're cool. man, Jay. Jay, thanks. You're cool. Jackie, when did you not make the cut? Jackie.

Oh. What was that noise? Jackie's had a computer error. Her phone went dong. What? Like evaporated. Jackie just needs an update, and I've been putting it off for ages, but I finally was like, no, I won't be reminded tomorrow. I'll do it. I'll do it

now and then she crashed. My sister and I weren't invited to my cousin's wedding when all the other cousins were going. Worst part was cousin didn't have the balls to tell us she got my brother to do the dirty work. So the brother was going but these two weren't. It sounds like there's more to that. Maybe they pulled the head off her Barbie or

something. They have never truly forgiven them. My younger These two weren't, it sounds like there's more to that. Yeah. Maybe they pulled the head off her Barbie or something. They haven't forgotten. Truly forgiven them. My younger sister-in-law is getting married. My husband, myself, and my other sister-in-law are not in the bridal party. She claims there's not enough room for us. Oh, that's good then because now your responsibilities for the day are minimal. Yeah.

And you can concentrate on eating canapes and getting drunk. And you can wear what you want. Yeah. Oh no, you've been handed a gift there, my friend. As long as none of you get asked to MC because that's like I mean, I have had great fun at your wedding being an MC. I forgot for a moment that I was...

You know, most of the weddings I've MC'd now have ended in divorce. Divorce. Separorce Don't put that on me I'm cursed You look after that man I actually ended up inviting two people from my wedding Uninviting two people from my wedding

One was meant to be bridesmaid But she got so intense that anyone would have thought She was the bride To the point where I couldn't have my wedding on certain days Because she had other events on. Oh, no. She wasn't happy with who I'd chosen as my other bridesmaids. And also for the same amount of time,

oh, but I've known them for the same amount of time that I'd known her. Right. Also telling me who I could and couldn't have at my wedding as general guests. How is this person? So they got uninvited? Fire them as a friend even by the sounds of it. The other friend I uninvited about a month prior to the wedding, she got really weird with some of my friends.

And all my friends thought maybe she was in love with me because she was kind of creepy and really possessive. And so that happened as well. They got uninvited. What happens during weddings? Wow. It brings out the crazy, right? Fletch Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

Fletch Vaughan and Megan's Audio Ninja Warrior. Well, it's like TV Ninja Warrior, isn't it? Yeah, it's like, yeah. It's sound effects. You've got to get through the audio obstacle course the fastest. Yeah. Got six obstacles to get over today. We met our first competitor.

Good morning, Jordan. Hey, guys. How's it going? Good, mate. Good. All right. How are you in the sound effects department? I'm a professional beatboxer, so I hope I'm pretty good. Oh, really? Okay. Where do you do your professional beatboxing? I just do gigs at pubs, sort of thing.

That would be the trippiest thing to do at the pub. You sit in there. Yeah, it is. I get some weird looks, but it's quite fun. Can you drop a quick beat, Jordan? Wow. Wow. I always like the boom, boom part. All right, well, so Jordan, we'll start the timer.

Vaughan will give you the audio obstacle, and you've got to complete that obstacle to go to the next one. There might be some pausing. Yep. To work out if we're happy for you to complete. You sound like you've got this in the bag. All right. All right.

Are we ready? Yes. Okay. And go. A drum roll. Oh, yes. Great. Next.

An automatic fly spray machine. Yep. Great. Next. An automatic fly spray machine. Yep. Yep. A roo-roo or moor pork. What is that? A moor pork or a roo-roo. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Yep. Yeah, I'll give him that. I'll accept that. Yeah, I'll accept that. Yep. Any form of computer alert. Yep. Any form of computer alert. Yep.

Bacon cooking. That was pretty good. That was pretty good, yeah. And finally, a ghost. Ooh. Yes, there we go. All right, that was good. Do we have a time there, Vaughn?

No, we don't disclose the time. We don't disclose the time yet. Yeah. You're correct, we don't. But Jordan made it through. We did make it through. All right, Jordan, now we welcome Deja. Good morning, Deja.

Good morning. You've been in the cone of silence. You didn't hear Jordan. No, I didn't. On the obstacle course. I don't want to freak you out or psych you out, Deja. Good morning. You've been in the cone of silence. You didn't hear Jordan. No, I didn't. On the obstacle course. I don't want to freak you out or psych you out, Deja, but he was a professional beatboxer. I did hear that part, and I felt like I should have been hanging up,

but I'm going to... No, you... I'm holding on. I'm holding on to that. Hang in there. But he's trained in one particular sound, Deja, you know? Yeah, that doesn't mean he's good at other sounds. All right, Deja. He was pretty good at other sounds. All right, so... Are you ready, Deja, you know? Yeah, that doesn't mean he's good at other sounds. Alright, Deja. Although he was pretty good at other sounds.

Are you ready, Deja? Yep, I think so. Alright, your time starts now. A drumroll. Yes! An automatic fly spray machine. Yes. Oh, that was really good. The tail off was great. Ruru or more pork?

That's pretty good, Anshulish. That's what they said. That's what they called that. Any kind of computer alert? That'll do. Yep. Bacon cooking. That helicopter either.

And a ghost. Ooh. Yes. I've done it. This is going to be very, very close. Deja, we're just going to bring you in with Jordan. Jordan, welcome back. You were in the kind of silence there while Deja completed the Audio Ninja Warrior course.

So both completed, but who had the better time? One person's time was 42 seconds and then 0.97. Okay. You know, after the decimal point. 42.97. Okay. You know, after the decimal point. 42.97. The other person's time was 38.99. So pretty close. The winner today with the quicker time to complete six sound effects for Audio Ninja Warrior with 38.99 is Deja. Congratulations.

Good job. Well done. Oh, myja. Congratulations. Oh my god, I feel amazing. Speed on the day, as long as it meets our criteria whilst you're going through. Doesn't have to be beautiful, it just has to be quick. Yeah, I mean the more pork was great. Both ghosts were fantastic.

Both ghosts were fantastic. But I also think it's unfair because we heard Jordan beatbox, but we haven't Yeah. Both ghosts were fantastic. Both ghosts were fantastic. They were. But I also think it's unfair because we heard Jordan beatbox, but we haven't heard Deja beatbox. No, no, we're not going there today. No, Deja, Deja, Deja, Deja. Okay, go. Um, do the chip, chip, boom, boom, chip, boom, boom.

No, I'm just supposed to go bits and cats and bits and of Boots and cats And boots and cats And boots and cats I think boom bam char And boom bin char Is also good Wow Yep

Well done Hey that was Jordan where Have people wanted to come Have you got like any gigs booked Anywhere if someone Wanted to come see you do this Um

Just Most Christchurch bars On a Thursday night. I just float around. Okay. Nice. All right. Hey, thanks, Jordan.

But Deja, congratulations. Audio Ninja Warrior champion today. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. There's a new feature in the Google app. By the way, Fletch and I didn't have this Google app. Megan was like, yeah, I use the Google app all the time. We're like, Google Chrome. She's like, no, the Google app. We're like, well, what do you got the Google app for? You just Google things in Google app. By the way, Fletch and I didn't have this Google app. Megan was like, yeah, I use the Google app all the time. We're like, Google crime.

She's like, no, the Google app. We're like, well, what do you got the Google app for? You just Google things in Google crime. But yeah,

I don't know why you need an app for. It's the same thing. What do you need an app for? So you can do that, but it's also just got to like, it's hard to explain. I don't want Google

that much in my life. No, well, it's in. I mean, it's in. Once you got a little Google, you got all the Google. You can't have half a slice of that pie That's the whole thing So because over the weekend

I got a message on Instagram From Harriet Who lives in London Okay International podcast listener She was saying Of course you'd leave it To the last day to vote

Because I put up a photo Of the fam all going to vote And I said Still before the end Gotta love a tradition And she said, still before the end, gotta love a tradition. And she said, since you've replied, my friends and I have been trying to work out a song for weeks and I have an inkling you'll know what song is this.

Da-na-na-na-na-na. Da-na-na-na-na-na. Da-na-na-na-na-na. This is, working at radio stations, this is something that we get a lot. I know. A lot. I've got a feeling we're about to have that title get a lot. I know. A lot. I've got a feeling we're about to have that title plucked away from us by the bloody internet.

By Google, because they have invented something that works out what the hell you're trying to sing. So she said, it's Not Wide Away by Katy Perry, bit more grungy and old, but not too old. I was born in 1995. I don't know. How this app works is you hold down the microphone, you select what song is this, and then hold down the microphone. Press the microphone and then you go,

what song is this? And then you can sing. And apparently you can even hum. It picks up humming. So this is what you do in the app. I've clicked on the microphone and it says search a song. So that would work if it was even playing. Oh, no.

Like Shazam. Here are some matching videos. It's me searching a song. That's deep. Okay, so. Do something like Adele. Do someone like you. Na, na, na, na, na.

Na, na, na, na, na. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Who knows that much? That sounds like it could be one of these. 41% match for someone like you, Adele. 41%? Wait.

Really? Yeah. Do you think Adele would be like slightly upset? Imagine if Adele did it and got like 41% for Adele. Next time we have like famous people, can we get them to sing and see what percent they get for their own song. That's great. That's great. Don't say that.

You've ruined that because now another radio station will steal that. Well, if they do, you know where they got it from. Right here, baby. Do you want to go, Fletch? Because you were pretty good at humming. You were pretty rhythmically challenged.

I don't need your... You don't tell us what song. We'll try to guess and we'll see if we can outguess the Google guess. Okay, I'll pick... Give me an artist, though. No, no. Give me a... You look through what you do with a song that's coming out.

I'll look at a popular artist that we play. Okay. Okay. You press the microphone and then click on song. I'm going to search the song. Okay. Oh, no. Hang on.

False alarm. Hang on. False alarm. Hang on. Here we go. Here we go. I don't know if it's a sad indictment of how much time we've spent together but I think I know what it is

what do you think it is I think it's Katy Perry Firework how do I stop it listening you had to be quiet at the end oh shh it was Katy Perry Firework

sorry I wasn't able to recognise this song ouch ouch it's because you talked at the end oh no

do it again and then we'll be quiet at the end you ruined it at the end for Oh, no. Do it again and then we'll be quiet at the end. You ruined it at the end, Mckay D. Perry. Sorry, it's definitely our fault. No, it's wanting feedback now. No. It's wanting, that's how they get better, isn't it?

Hang on, here we go. Here we go. Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma. Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma. M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m- laughing at you too. It was hiding behind a curtain. Does it make cows singing Katy Perry? Wait, when you hum, why do you go, meh? Don't go, meh. That's how I hum.

No, it's not. The city's unconspirated. Meh, meh, meh, meh, meh. But that's how the song goes. We could, the bit that Harriet sent through was too short to, it wouldn't recognise it.

Da-na-na-na-na-na. Bye. Da-na-na-na-na-na. Da-na-na-na-na-na. Da-na-na-na-na-na. So many people have text messaged in saying, it's Lenny Cravlet. Lenny Clavlet. Clavlet.

Lenny Crabstick. Somebody said Lenny Cravlet. It's the first lines of the song, right? I wish that I could fly. Do you remember a couple of years ago when he crouched down on stage and his pain popped out? That's right.

See, that's why he's like you, didn't wear underwear at the gym. I tried calling Harriet because she said, here's the number. We tried calling her and I tried like Instagram chatting her because I need to know if this is the song she's thinking of. So I'm just saying Lenny Kravitz, Fly Away. Please confirm if it is or not. It's got to be this song. I love that we're the radio professionals, but we couldn't get it. Should I try and hum a dowel, Someone Like You,

because I'm sure that will pick that up. Because maybe it just doesn't have Katy Perry in the database. Oh no, Google definitely doesn doesn't have Katy Perry in the database so. It wasn't like you. Yes, it is. Did it come up? No, it didn't. It just said nothing. Because it wasn't Adele. Google's broken. What the hell was that? Google's broken. That's what you sound like. It said humming.

That was humming. That wasn't humming. That was humming. That sounded like Adele. Do you know how that song goes? That was Adele, someone like you. It was humming, but it wasn't Adele. Am I pressing the wrong button?

No, you're not pushing the wrong button. So, it was at a cafe at the weekend that I witnessed a couple at the table next to us sit down at a four-person table, side by side, on the same side. And I just thought, that's weird. Because you, your choice would be to sit opposite the person. Always, I'd always sit opposite. There's no problem with them taking up, because either way they're going to take up the four-person table.

Either way they're taking up the four-person table, and that's fine, because there were lots of tables. So it wasn't a hogging the table issue. So then why do you care where they sit on the table? It's just odd. Don't you want to face the person you're having breakfast with? I would always sit opposite. I would always sit opposite.

Because I'd rather be sit face straightforward and chat rather than having to be twisted at the hip the whole time to address the person sitting beside me. Unless you were reading a giant newspaper together or working on a laptop together. Because what if you want to read what's on their side and then you're done and so you're ready for the next page. It's a bit odd.

It's a bit odd. We do this though. And I think it started because you know how you go to a full person and the two outside ones are sometimes seats and then the two inside are booths? Yep. And we both argue about who sits at the booth. So we were like, well, we both sit at the booth.

And then we got used to it, and we were like, it's kind of nice sitting side by side. You argue about who sits on the softer side? Yeah. Because that is the issue, is that sometimes there is a cushiony side of a table in a cafe, because the wall side might be a cushion with a backing. Yeah.

Call me a gentleman, but I'll always offer that to the lady. When we sat beside each other long enough, it was like, that's what we do every time now. Plus, we always share food. You can share food across the table. Yeah, but I don't know. That's what folks are for, baby. It's kind of nice.

Reach and stack. Just put the plates. A little snuggle. Dock the plates. Hand on the leg. Oh, no. Yuck. This is an establishment.

It's a cafe. Not a fondling shop. Yeah. This isn't a fondling shop. Okay. Or like sometimes even, what's the word when you're like adjacent or like one sits on one side and one sits on the next corner? Like if it was an L.

No, no, no, no, no. Then you're interfering with access to the next table. Yeah, no, that, no. Then you're interfering with access to the next table. Absolutely not. Unless it was a corner booth and there was an L-shaped cushion. Yeah. That would be acceptable. That would be acceptable. But not...

But if you try it, it's nice. Then your knees are banging. It's nice. But this was an issue in Queenstown. Like, when I was there for a weekend, there were only tables that were two chairs. So there was the cushion on the back wall and the chair opposite. And a couple cosied in next to our table with very little.

No, no, no. They were in the personal bubble. No. That was unacceptable. That was worse than what I saw at the weekend. Well, we've asked, Megan, on our Instagram, and you are alone. But you act like I care.

You care so much. I don't care. You're like the new conservative polling at the weekend. Take that back. No, they're not Asian. You're more like the Greens, actually, on 9%. A bit more above the Greens. Okay, right.

But what about, you wouldn't do it at just a two-person situation, though. You'd sit opposite each other, right? Oh, no, no, you'd sit opposite each other. No, because, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You're not a monster. So how do you and your partner sit at a four-person table at a restaurant?

Across from each other, 90% of people would choose to sit across from each other. Don't conform, baby. 10% would sit side by side. Hey, here's my- That's still a lot. That's one in 10 couples. This is your homework. Try it out. You might like it. Sit side by side. Hey, here's my... That's still a lot. That's one in 10 couples. This is your homework. Try it out.

You might like it. Sit side by side. Don't conform. But then when you're talking to them, you have to be like... How awful does that look? You have to turn to them. Sarah said,

but if you're looking out to a nice view or people watching then side by side... Yes, that's also why we do it because we people watch together. So that you can see the same subjects of discussion. And often when we're at a cafe, we're like checking out the weirs of the cafe. So we need the same view, you know?

Yeah, see, I'll asterisk that with if you've got a sea view or a nice view, then both sides of the table's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's still a bit weird and uncomfortable. Oh, gross. Yeah, people are saying, oh, no, I'd sit on the corner. No. No. Stop.

Your knees. Don't conform love this. Your knees. Don't conform. You bang your knees. What is wrong with you people? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Next on the show. Producer Jared had his best mate's wedding on Friday and then over the weekend.

You did your speech, and I know you were a little nervous about that. How did that go, Jared? Crushed it. Oh, okay. Some laughs. I got a lot of laughs. What were some of your jokes?

Did you give us one of your jokes you said? Ooh. They always work really well out of context. I'll just grab my speech out of my bag.

When you don't know the groom or the bride. Okay. Oh, did you actually write it down? Did you actually? He actually just got the speech out of his bag. Oh, bless you. It's just very small font. Did you actually write it down? He actually just got the speech out of his bag.

It's just very small font. Did you have trouble reading that? I had no trouble reading it. Crank your margins right out as far as they'll go. Your margins are right in the middle. I said he's always ready to lend a hand if you need a deck knock together because he's a tradie. He's always the first to laugh whenever you injure yourself

and he's always the first to extend a helping hand. That was one of the gags. Oh, was it? I didn't relay it great. I guess you had to be there. I told you, you can't do this. You can't take a wedding speech that's just specifically for an audience that also know this person.

Yeah, right. To work with no context. I've got one, but I was quite proud of. Okay. I'll read this, but it's not a gag. It's pretty wholesome. Yeah, right. And expect to work with no context. I've got one bit I was quite proud of. Okay. I'll read this bit. It's not a gag. It's pretty wholesome. Okay.

You've poured a lot of concrete and built a lot of retaining walls in your life, but the most impressive thing you've built is your relationship with your lovely new wife. Oh, yeah, that's pretty good. That was nice. That was nice. Okay, well, it wasn't the speech,

but something else that was a little bit awkward at this wedding at the weekend that we want to talk about next because I'd imagine there'd be a few people in this situation. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Producer Jared, we just heard a small segment of his speech before at the wedding he went to for his best mate, but it was at that wedding there was a slightly awkward encounter.

We crossed out of the producer's booth, which is seven to eight feet behind me. Through two plates of glass. Yes, for this recounting of an awkward encounter. What happened? So, me and the lads were getting ready

at the groom's spot. You looked really dapper. You sent a photo to the group chat. I felt pretty dapper. It was the first suit I've actually ever worn since my high school ball, which the group chat. I felt pretty dapper. Yeah, good. It was the first suit I've actually ever worn since my high school ball, which was 10 years ago, so pretty skucks.

Jared's always like, this is my first time on a plane. This is my first time in a hotel. This is hard. Every day, there's some firsts for you.

It's awesome. That's how I like to live my life. He was born in South Africa, but in your mind, it's his first time on the plane. How did he get here?

What did you say? First time on a little plane? First time on a little plane. On a prop-driven plane, yeah. Plane with a propeller. Yeah. Yeah, so me and the lads were getting ready at the groom's house, and then Sam's like, oh, so-and-so's here.

And I was like, wait, who? And he goes, oh, you know, your ex. And I was like, what? What's she doing here um and yeah we were giving her a ride to the venue oh what yeah he invited you but he's obviously friends yeah they're still mates but um so is he only friends does he only know her because you dated her um I started dating her because he knew her oh right. So they've been friends longer than you. Right, okay. Just a couple months longer.

But like he didn't tell you. Like to be fair, he might have told me and I just forgot. It's entirely possible. Maybe you were getting too excited about your first time on a small plane and you forgot that he mentioned that. Yep, could have been. Yeah, so she rocked up. She was

looking great and I was like, oh, hello, hi. It was a very awkward little conversation. He could have just not invited her, though. Nah. Do you feel like that wouldn't have been a problem if he hadn't? It was a small wedding, so probably wouldn't have been a problem. But I would have felt bad if he didn't invite her because I was there. And this was, like, probably like probably like seven years ago.

Oh, yeah, you need to move on. Yeah, I've moved on, but I wasn't expecting to see her there. And then we did the wedding, which was awesome. The bride and the groom looked amazing. How was the ex looking? Yeah, she was looking good. Oh, yeah, that's always a kick in the gutter. Because you want them to blow out, eh?

Yeah, you want them to look terrible. You want them to absolutely blow out so you can be like, good. Oh yeah, that's always a kick in the gutter. Yeah, because you want them to blow out, eh? Yeah, you want them to look terrible. You want them to absolutely blow out so you can be like, good. Well, you're looking fantastic

and hopefully not blowing out yourself. But the thing I found awkward was when we went to the dinner afterwards and she had a date and I didn't.

Oh! Okay, she wins. She wins. She was looking fantastic and had a date. And had a plus one. You should have just put in your speech,

oh, I'm so sad my hot-ass babe girlfriend couldn't make it today. She's a model, but, you know, COVID, the border shut. She's got to go with the will. She's in Brazil at the hot model school. My Australian girlfriend from summer camp. Yeah. Oh, damn it. Wow.

Yeah. It could have been worse. Could have been way worse. It could have been my, like, recent or long-term ex. Yeah, more recent ex. We want to know where you ran into your ex because producer Jared ran into his ex at the wedding he was at at the weekend.

Small event. You can't get away from them. Wasn't even giving the heads up. Yeah. It's seven years later, though. Yeah. And seven years later though, are you still friends, obviously? Or is it just, you haven't really kept

in touch since? Or what, how did you leave it? The breakup wasn't good. Okay. But we met a couple years ago and talked it out. Okay. A little heart to heart. So now we're friendly oh well that's fine

friendly but not friendly that's fine it's when you break up and your stuff gets set fire on the front lawn or you cheated with them with their best friend that you know

then it's awkward isn't it listen to this try to picture this went to a wedding two exes three friends with benefits I was with the bride's cousin

she was marrying my ex. So that was awkward. That is a powder keg, just add some champers or some chardonnay. Someone starts piecing it together. Oh my god. And then it's all go. Gabby, where did you run into an ex?

So I was a hairdresser and I'd recently moved salons and I had a new client ring up and book in. I didn't catch his name when I booked the appointment. Yeah. And he turned up and it was my ex. But he knew it was you, right? No, he didn't know because I'd literally moved salons maybe two weeks before.

And did you have to just end up cutting his hair? Yeah, it was the awkwardest 45 minutes of my life. Did you do it terribly so that he'd come back? Did you do it bad? No, I couldn't do it bad for you. He looked just sitting there. And he didn't come back. He didn't want to rebook.

Yeah, I wouldn't imagine so. All right. Thanks for your call, Gabby. Laura, where did you run into an ex? I actually ran into my ex when I was buying Plan B. Is that an ECP? Is that an emergency contraceptive pill? Yep.

And was he working at the pharmacy or something? No, it was just bumping into them when we were walking through the supermarket. contraceptive pill. Yep, yep. Oh, and what, was he working at the pharmacy or something? Uh, no, it was just bumping into them when we were walking through the supermarket, like the pharmacy and the supermarket. Oh, no.

Yeah, I wasn't looking to say. But I mean, does it say, like, has it got a big giant sign on it, Plan B? Or did it sort of say

it was aspirin or something? Uh, no, it was very awkward. I accidentally blurted out that it was the Plan B. Oh, right, so you were like, uh-oh, silence. I better say what I'm blurted out that it was the plan B. Oh, right. So you were like, oh, silence. I've got to say what I'm doing here.

Just give me some. Lara, thanks for your call. Jordan, where did you run into your ex? I ran into her at the warehouse. Okay. And my current partner, seeing her coming down the aisle, I didn't look up. We were looking at something.

She boosted down the aisle, I didn't look up, oh we were looking at something, and she boosted out the aisle, and I ended up talking to my ex about some sort of item I was holding in my hand. Like, hey, we really need one of these. And I looked up, I shouldn't say anything, and I look up and I was like, I'm out, see you. I walk around the corner, and my current partner's just like in tears.

Just spits me up. And she's like, I'm so sorry. I'm like, you're not. You really not. It's like, Jordan, it's over. You've got to stop thinking we still live together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't need your crock pot, mate.

I've already got a crock pot with my new partner. Did you end up going with the... $43 crock pot and shove it. Yeah, did you end up getting the crockpot? No, I just hightailed out of there. I was like, yeah. I'm gone. Brilliant.

Jordan, thanks. You call some text messages. So many people running into them awkwardly. I bought my new boyfriend to a 21st and my ex was there. He kept eyeing out my new boyfriend who was like, what is going on here? It was entertaining because my new boyfriend's way bigger and better looking than my ex.

Well, that's great. Yeah, good upgrade. We have to say that. You do, yeah. Yeah, upgrade. Someone said, I hadn't seen the deadbeat dad of my two kids in seven years. Ran into him in the fish and chip shop randomly. Oh, hooray.

It turns out he lives in the next suburb now. I turned to one night. I ended up being a teacher at my son's new school. Oh, okay. My husband ran into his ex at work. He's a police officer and she was in trouble. And I'm in big trouble. Oh, that would have been good though.

That's good, yeah. Someone said I was visiting a family friend in prison and my ex walked behind them It must have been in that little visitation high area And the ex walked behind them and was like Oh hey how are you? So they've got a type Bad boys

With a family friend Maybe there was no romantic intention there But yeah I mean You go to prison you know two people there That's got to be a start They can set a little club or something. Sure. Yeah, lots of people ringing to their ex in weird places.

Got a drunk text. And my ex of several years, when it ended on good terms, it turns out they thought they were texting somebody else with a very similar name to mine. I was like, I can't go back there. And they're like, what? Who's this? And then there was that whole awkward exchange.

822, Fact of the Day is next. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Fact of the Day, about the Snickers bar. Oh, okay. You know, Snickers? Nuts. Would you go Snickers over a Morrow bar? Because I probably would.

If I had the choice. Gun to your head. I like the nuts. Talk to me 10 years ago, I have said Mars But I'm a changed man Mars bar Morrow bar Whatever Yeah right

Caramelly, gooey, noobery Same kind of thing But the Snickers is basically The same bar with peanuts in it Yeah With nuts in it Well okay You might go Snickers over a Morrow

I would Yeah I'd probably go Snickers Over a Morrow now I'd have a bit more range But more diversity in the bar There's a Nooga too Better Nooga Better Nooga I'd say it's exactly the same Nooga Would you to go Snickers over tomorrow now. A bit more range but more diversity in the bar. There's a nougat too but better nougat. Better nougat?

I'd say it's exactly the same nougat. Well, today's script of the day if you ever wondered why Snickers is called a Snickers bar. Snickers?

No. Something about knickers? Nope. Oh, okay. Snickers? Nothing, nothing that deviant. No, I can't it's not even a word is it

I know It's a weird word You've just always been Happy to accept it Yeah It was the name of The Mars family horse What

And they needed to name The Mars family The Mars family Who did the Mars bars And Mars own everything Don't they Yes So I've looked a little bit more

Into Do they own Nestle Do they own Nestle I don't know where it. So I've looked a little bit more into... Are they in Nestle? Do they own Nestle? I don't know where it's at these days with who I'm... No, are they competing? Mars Incorporated. 33 billion in annual sales. They're doing alright. Franklin

Clarence Mars. He started it. I've learnt a little bit about the Mars family and how it came to be. His mum taught him to chocolate dip things. He had polio. Right.

So he was stuck at home and, you know, limited movement. And so his mum taught him to chocolate dip things. Is that what Forrest Gump had? Yes. Yes.

Good. And lots of people had it before vaccines. So M&M's Snickers Orbit Extra and Skittles so Franklin the father

he started the company and he had like some basic things like the Mars bar but it was his son that was like the real genius and his name was

Forrest too like Forrest Gump his name was Forrest too he invented the Milky Way and he invented the Snickers bar and he invented M&M's. I'm just looking now at the website.

They do everything. Yeah. All of these brands. Hubba Bubba. All the chewing gums. So. Bounty. Bounty bars.

And he loved horses, actually. When he started making some serious money, they bought a whole lot of farms and made them one big estate and called it the Milky Way Farm. Right. And one of the horses that he bred horses, but after he died, one of his horses won the Kentucky Derby, which is like the big horse race in America.

But he died, the guy that started Mars, died at the age of 50 from heart problems. Too many chocolate bars. Too many chockeys. Too many chockeys. So yeah, 1930 when they developed Snickers bar, he was basically like, so it's like the Mars bar except it's got nuts in it.

And they were like, we need a name. And they were like, well, the family horse Snickers. People seem to like that name. So they called the bar Snickers and it's named after their horse. Could you imagine how different a Snickers bar would have tasted then compared to now? Why would it taste different? Well, I know it'd just be, wouldn't it just be way different,

like how they made them and stuff? Wouldn't they have been more handmade than they are, like made by machines? I don't know. Less processed? Maybe they were less uniform. Yeah, right. Like not everyone would look exactly the same

with the waves of the chocolate down it. Yeah. Yeah. So one dude, he started the company, but then his son did all the heavy lifting. So today's fact of the day is the Snickers bar is just named after the family that invented its horse. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. This is pretty grim

and it's a British study but yeah hoping it's not reflected in New Zealand but it could be One in three British admit to only washing their sheets

once a year A year not a sheets once a year. A year, not a month. Once a year. That is a third of all people in Britain. That cannot be right. That cannot be right. Cannot be right. Because we know

that it harbours all kinds of... Your body's in it for like... Yeah, well if you do get in your seven, eight hours a night, if you're getting how much you're supposed to, that's a long time. Because I, yeah, I always like, especially in winter, because I've got my big winter duvet, I always wake up a little bit sweaty or I'll be a little bit quite hot under there.

Yeah. And I've got two sheet sets and every weekend I change them out and I'll wash. Every weekend. So I'm every weekend. We them out and I'll wash them. Every weekend. So I'm every weekend. We're probably fortnightly. Every second weekend. That's man-kid. I reckon you'd wash your sheets more than that.

Yeah, but your sheets compared to my sheets, if we were getting like the Petri dish in there, like way worse. What do you mean? Like this, yeah. Mine aren't as bad as yours. I've got lovely Sheridans. No, not in terms of the quality of the cheese.

With a great thread count. But you've got to be washing every weekend without fail. You'd be the same. Your wife wouldn't leave manky shirts on. Yeah, she'd, yeah. I would before I was with her. I don't know. It was a long one.

What were the longest you've gone? I don't know. They were washed when the need arose. Right, okay. When you were eating in bed and you spilled a cheese ball, like a meatball. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Symbolic nays on your sheets or something.

Or you dropped a Marmite sandwich and it landed face down. It always does. It always does. It always does. And you're like, oh, I better wash them. In terms of like blankets and cushion covers, and I guess we're talking duvet covers, how often are you washing those?

Oh, not that often. Not as often. So they're also only washed once a year in this survey. Honestly, I do mind maybe four times a year for the duvet cover. Oh, no. Okay, I wash mine way more than that. Your duvet cover? Yeah, no. Okay, I wash mine way more than that. Your duvet cover? Yeah. Unless, like, it gets dirty, like if the cat

makes it dirty or something like that. No, I wash it way more. Which has happened. Okay. How much do you love getting the duvet back into the duvet? It's not that hard. Oh, it's a pain in the ass. Now, Producer Jared, how often do you

wash your sheets? Oh, like every second day. Now, producer Jared, how often do you wash your sheets? Oh, like every second day. Now, be honest. The shoes pointed that you went straight to him. Every second day. We heard earlier in the show he doesn't double wear underwear. Yeah. And I had to apologise

because I said to him, I assumed he'd at least wear underwear for at least two days in a row. Which is hurtful. It's hurtful. And I did apologise. Thank you. How often do you clean your bed sheets? Maybe like once a month.

See, I was right to think about the underwear thing. Once a month? But look, I sleep alone. Yeah. There's no action. What if you invited over a tinder, honey honey And you hadn't washed your sheets for a month Like in the rare occasion I'd get a girl around Everything's in the wash

Wow so she smells that cold water surf smell She's like he's a clean guy He's a fresh clean guy Minty fresh Sometimes if you don't have time you could just get the Cold water surf powder and sprinkle it straight on the mattress And then put the shake bag on I prefer the shake and. Like a shaken back.

Yes. You do the shaken back. You put the freshness back. I can't imagine if there's so much shaken back in these sheets. Oh my god. Yuck. That's genius. If you've got five minutes, if they're like, what do you text someone when you want to hook up? You up. DTF, you up.

On my way. Very quick, Jeremy. And you up. What if it's like they're definitely up? DTF, you up? On my way? Very quick, Jeremy. And you up? What if it's like they're definitely up? What if it's like in the afternoon? Of course they're up. It's the afternoon. You just send them a wink, right?

Like up to. Is that it? Is that what you do? Or you just reply to their Instagram story with the flame emoji. Sure, sure. You let them know that it's happening. And you could totally shake it back if you were pressed for time. What about you?

What about you? Anya, when you're not living with the parents, when would you have done the sheets? Oh, still every week. Every Thursday. Thursday is sheets day. Because you're a sensible person. I knew you'd be every week.

Thursday is sheets day. Thank you. Why not the weekend? Because I don't like to do admin on the weekend. I like to get it all done during the week. So you load up your week with the admin. Yeah, I'd rather do like pull an extra all-nighter on the Thursday and then like...

That's controversial call. What are you, hand-washing your sheets in the river? Why is it in the middle of the night? Smashing them with a stone. Singing yourself like a chore song. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Vaughan, you found an Instagram account That we all must follow emergently

We've talked about this on air before And it's always a cracker of a topic Someone's made an Instagram account Siblings or dating Siblings or dating No gaps Just write that on Instagram You'll find them

Siblings Siblings or dating A fun game Because do you remember that time I was at the gym And I was like Oh that brother and sister Work out together

That's cute And then they kissed And I was like, oh, that brother and sister work out together. That's cute. And then they kissed. And I was like, that's disgusting that they're kissing. And they actually were together and not brother and sister. So on the stories of this Instagram account, they put up a photo of like two people. Yeah. And they don't say anything about them.

Okay. And then the next frame is you vote if you think they're siblings or dating. Yeah. Do they have to get the permission from these people? I don't know. I think it's got to the point. It's got like 100,000 followers. People submit photos.

Right. If people have ever said to them, you guys look like you're dating when they're siblings or are you guys together or what? Because I always wonder if those accounts are influencers in the wild. They just film these people, although that's in public. So that would be allowed, right? And they're filming themselves

in a very public place. Yeah, true. Yeah. Yeah. So there might also be like this example. Okay. I'm going to show you.

So there's a boy and a girl, a male and a female sitting in a bar. She's got, he's got his arm around her. She's got her hand on, he's wearing shorts, on his bare thigh.

Oh, they're dating. So then, just the photo, then it zooms in on different aspects of the photo and asks you to take into account

how happy she looks, like the look in her eyes. Yep, yep. And then the look on his face. He looks like a little bit smug. Oh, they do look like siblings. Oh, they do.

No, maybe they are siblings. They do look alike. But you would be dating get a smug. She's got his hand. She's got her hand on his bare thigh. Is that an engagement ring? No, other hand. That's not down to knee.

That's mid-thigh. That's quite high. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's up. It's up above the knee. Dude, there's no way I would touch my brother's thigh. No. And then look on their face.

She's leaned into him. But they do look very similar. Siblings or dating. 68% of people said that they will be dating. 32% said siblings. What's the reveal? We'll say... The hand?

Dating? Yes, siblings. Whoa! I would never take a photo with my brother like that. He'd be like, ooh, your hand's on my side. What are you doing? Ah, sorry, jeez. I thought it was a bench to lean on.

It's a great account. Plus, if I lean my head in like that, he'd put me in a headlock. We don't have any nice photos. So then after the voting, they put the good ones up as posts, and then it'll just be the photo, and then you can swipe, and it'll say if they're siblings or dating, and then it shows you the percentage. Why are they posting like that?

He was almost resting on her boob. I don't know. Some siblings are so close. I think I know. But yeah, there's some. Some siblings are so close. I think I've got one photo where I've got my arm around my sister. Right. But it's more of a, are there any rough and tumble? Yeah.

Are there any same-sex couples? Ah, yes. Also siblings? That would be. Yes, there are. Do you reckon that would be easier to pick up? Okay. Is that one?

He's a same-sex couple. A couple of girls. They're not siblings because they've got different face structures. Yeah, no, they're not. I wouldn't say they're siblings. Nah, but what are they? And they're kind of like cheek to cheek,

so there's not... But they're dating. They're dating. Oh, okay, they're dating. Thought so. Yeah. Thought so. All right, well...

Oh, hold on. What about this one? Oh, he's... He's got no shirt on and she's got a lot of cleavage and it's quite close to his face. Dating. Gotta be dating.

100% They're dating. Fuel! Fuel! No, you don't put your buzz's quite close to his face. Dating. Gotta be dating. 100% dating. You! You! No, you don't put your buzzies that close to your brother's head. ZM's Fletch,

Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and Clinton a listen too? Subscribe on the

iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here. ZM.