ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 1st September 2021

Episode Date: August 31, 2021

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The ZM Podcast Network. Clay. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. If you're at level three, McCafe is ready with contactless delivery and drive-thru. You've caught us in the middle of cake chat. Yeah.

Here, behind the scenes. It's a very impassioned chat. We all love cakes, different sorts of cakes. Favourite sort of cake? Well, you mentioned August made a banana cake, and I think that is my favorite. Annabelle Langbein has a great banana cake recipe, and that's the one I'm going to do today, I think.

Well, August did it for her series of baking, August's Lockdown Baking. She sponsored. This is a sponsored post. She sponsored. And we wanted to make the Annabelle Langbein one, but then I was like, what happens there? Do you have to ask Annabelle Langbein's permission to make the Annabelle Langbine one, but then I was like, what happens there? Do you have to ask Annabelle Langbine's permission to make the Annabelle Langbine cake in a sponsored post?

But then does she want to be linked to the person? But I don't think. She's not getting paid. This is one if you've ever been, and this is what I found with the pulled pork recipe I was doing yesterday. You've got to go through 18 pages of someone's fucking personal life. Oh, yeah. Which I explained helps you get through the copyright, the more extra details on the page.

And then if you're just putting a list of ingredients, like Annabelle Langbein doesn't own the banana cake recipe. You know what I mean? But it's her banana cake recipe. Yeah, but- Because there was something in her banana cake and I was like, oh my, Annabelle, you naughty, naughty girl. See, here's her.

She does a double She does a double cake Where you cut it in the middle And then you have The icing Delicious butter Yes that's why She's the best

That's a fucking good cake If you're one of our International listeners Annabelle Langbein Is a New Zealand Culinary genius We met her She was lovely

Oh she's very lovely Four eggs I've got four eggs Four ripe bananas So what are you making? A banana cake? Yes. Not a carrot cake.

I'm making a banana cake. Well, no, we're talking about our favourite sorts of cakes. He said banana cake. August made a banana cake. It was dense. It wasn't, like, fluffy. Usually a banana cake can be a little bit dry, a little bit fluffy, not have a body. But this one had a good bit of oomph to it.

Favourite cake? It'd be carrot or vanilla. Well, she doesn't do the buttercream recipe. Are we going to mention this crazy ingredient? Because I've actually found a recipe. Carrot cake. So there's a recipe. Someone mentioned, was it on the live stream?

I think it was on the live stream. That we should be making our carrot cakes with fresh garlic. And I've actually found a recipe. Yuck. And when you fold in the carrots, pineapple, walnuts, that's when you fold in the garlic. How much garlic? It's two tablespoons.

Of garlic granules? Fresh minced garlic. Fresh garlic. I need to try it. How big is this cake? Two tablespoons. Two cups of flour. That's the size of the cake. Two cups of sugar. One pound of carrots. So 2 carrots? Two cups of sugar. One pound of carrot?

Okay, so 2.2 kgs of carrots. Is that right? I don't know. Yeah, something like that. No, that's not right. Two cups of icing sugar. What are you looking at? What did you just scream at?

That's the buttercream recipe for this banana. Two cups of icing sugar. Yeah. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And then so you make this cake and you see everything that goes into it. This is why I do baking and then I have these periods where I don't do baking

because you see everything that goes into it. When you go to the supermarket, you just eat the biscuits. You don't look at what goes into it. Do you know what icing sugar is? A what? It's so sugar, white granulated sugar, pulverized to a powder and then mixed with a strong but mighty amount of cornstarch. So like corn flour.

So it thickens as well. So that's why it's got that weird squelchy feel to it because it's got corn flour in it. So technically, could you make your own with a blender and then just add some cornstarch? That's what it says, DIY icing sugar. Huh, interesting. Yeah, how to make icing sugar.

If I do a banana cake, I'm going to have to bring it in tomorrow. It's going to say the picture of Chad Kroger on Jacinda's face with a sign that says, look at this COVID graph. That's good. That's good shit. You should share that on your story. Maybe I will. That's good. That's good shit. You should share that on your story. Maybe I will. That's really good stuff. So put granulated or caster sugar into a grinder

Not allowed to use grinder at the moment. Oh yeah, not allowed to. No, the other grinder. Oh yeah. The one that if you put your dick in it, it would literally Thank you, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleech, Fawn and Megan.

The first day of September. Which means what? We're three weekends away from Daylight Savings. Yep. And it's officially spring. It's spring. It's the spring month. People will be like,

It doesn't start till the equinox. First of September is good enough. And happy level three for those outside of Auckland and Northland today. Hope you enjoy your coffee. You can make a coffee on the machine out there. Don't play the victim. Don't be up here playing the victim. Get out there on the machine.

You can't have a burger though or chicken, can you? Make your own. Make your own. God damn it, we've been making our own for two weeks. That's so sad. It's just been two weeks. It's actually only been two weeks. And I guess we know there's two more

to go for those in Auckland. Hey, but case numbers down again yesterday, so it's all going in the right direction. We actually have on the phone around 7.30 this morning, Dr. Ashley Bloomfield, the lovely. The big dog. The big dog, Ashley Bloomfield.

Just to give us a recap of what we can do in Level 3. Basically Level 4 with takeaways. As it's known. As it was famously called. You still got to keep your bubbles tight, don't you? You do, yeah. Tighten the bubbles. So that means still no Tinder, Grindr dating apps?

Still none of that? No, no, no, no. In Level 3? No. The top six coming up on the show. Yeah. Hey, knock, knock. Who's there?

It's COVID. Oh, yeah, no, you were already in. No, I'm a new one. Oh, God, we don't need a new one. A new COVID variant, apparently that's going to make Delta look like a pussycat, has been detected in South Africa. So I've got the top six names for it

because at last I thought we had a naming system. Like, and there's a Linux one, E? Alpha, Beta, Kappa, Delta, Elephant. And then Fanny. And Labamba. It was Labamba. These are the first words that come to your mind with E and F. Excuse me, I've done an e-traffic control course.

Fanny. It's Delta. Fanny, Fanny, Foxtrot. It's Foxtrot, isn't it? No, it's Fanny. Fanny, Fanny, Fanny, come on, Fanny. It's Delta, Fanny, Cleve for landing. Yeah.

Delta, Fanny. It's Delta, Fenny, cleared for landing. Yeah. Delta, Fenny. Delta, Elephant, Fenny, Gumball, Horatio. Cleared for landing. Iceberg. Yeah. Cleared for landing. I think that's why I only lasted a week at air traffic control. That's why I had to go to radio.

Yeah. Delta, Elephant, Fenny. They covered up those planes you crashed to make it look like it was a terrorist attack, but it was just you. I can't do two screens. I can only do one at a time. Right.

One at a time. Well, I've got the top six names for it, since they don't seem to be following the alphabetical order and calling it Fanny. Yep. Another chance for you and your boring mundane bills paid off with a free ride with the movie Free Guy.

Eight o'clock. Listen up for the activator. Let's talk about a Booker Batch host next. Being a douchebag. ZDM's Fletchmore and Megan. Someone booked a little getaway just recently

and obviously has needed to reschedule that. This was a book a batch wee getaway for two mums who have recently had baby boys and then wanted to have their first weekend like little wee girls trip away from their kids. Right.

So they ended up booking a lovely wee batch 15 minutes away from their home because they didn't want to be too far away and 600 metres from Muriwai Beach. So this, yeah, was on Booker Batch and obviously Alert Level 4 happened and they needed to reschedule. So they got in contact with David, who is the host.

This is becoming very easy to work out which one on Booker Batch it is, isn't it? Oh, no, there's a last name as well and photos of the place. Oh. Yeah. Roger that then. So they got in touch with David and said, hey, obviously we need to reschedule because we can't come. And that's when David said we can't do any changes at the moment.

Why? Don't know. changes at the moment. Why? Don't know. Why is he being a prick? Give us the money back, David. Maybe you should call him. And no refunds. No. So they also said, can you tell us why we can't change the date?

Because he had no bookings for the next three months. Oh, because they could see the booking calendar. And we had no reply. So we contacted Booker Batch customer service. They put them on a three-way call. He said, is this a conference call that he didn't want to be a part of

and then hung up on us. Wow, so Booker Batch tried. Yeah. But I've said this from the start, I've said this many times, if you're booking any accommodation and, I mean, you think about this lockdown, we had how many hours notice?

They told us at 5pm and midnight we were in lockdown. Don't book anything that's not refundable. So they said, look, we don't want a refund, but they want their booking.

They just want to change the date. Yeah. They still want to go. They don't want their money back. And then he's guaranteed that booking, right? Yeah. But then he's like, well, I'll just take the money. He said, sorry to hear about that.

Please reach out to the insurance company you got your travel insurance with. No. Travel insurance. No travel insurance is covering you for this. What a dick. So they've paid a total of $900 for this. No, that's so rank. With a $200 cleaning fee.

And is he giving that back? No, he's not giving anything back. I'm going to take a shit on the deck then. No. What a prick. You'd think, yeah, I don't know. Also, your booker batch, you were put on a conference call. Like, how does he expect to continue on with the service?

If I was to book a batch, I'd just dump him. Is book a batch a Kiwi or is it international? I don't know. It's batch, right? No one else calls them batches. Yeah. It will be Kiwi. But are there even any batches?

Because I know Airbnb's got a terrible refunds policy. Like, once you book there, some of them let you cancel or change your mind. Maybe you might get 50% back. Right. There's different varying levels. You've got to be really careful when you book there. But it's pretty sketchy. There's some cool houses that I can't find which one David's is.

I'll find it for you. Okay, you send me the link. Because there's some cool houses out there. But you don't want to like stumble into David's trap. Are there any on there that you can, I'm sure they've got some that are fully refundable, right? Or that let you, at least knowing that you can change your dates so you don't lose your money would be helpful. So a spokesperson for Booker Batch said our customer service team had been in touch with the host last week, but they stood by their cancellation policy in place at time of the booking.

That's so shit. They should dump him. Yeah. Does that mean that they've got no leg to stand on? That sucks. No. But this was in the news as well before when lockdown happened, someone else didn't get their money back.

And they lost like two and a half grand or something. How do you get around or something. When you book it, can you get in writing that if something happens you'll be able to reschedule and look what you want back? Free cancellation. Yeah, maybe.

Yeah. Oh man, it sucks. Well, Yummy Yummy, a segment of the show where we take a look at new food items and trends. Yesterday, Vaughan,

while you were marooned and stuck in floodwaters, don't cum you. Oh, Hubba Bubba flavoured M&M's. M&M's. Yeah. I was all right with it. They tasted like candy squiggles, kind of.

You know, the original squiggles. Yeah, and they stopped making those, rightly so. They were the best. I don't mind a candy flavour But yeah Market it as candy flavour Don't market it as bologna flavour Yes Savory today Yummy yummy

There are two new flavours of shapes Okay I'm down Now these have launched in Australia I haven't heard if they are in New Zealand But you'd assume they're coming here Same you know We get all the Arnott stuff here and all the Shapes flavours.

Shapes cheesy garlic pizza and Shapes fried onion. Sorry, fried chicken. Oh, where'd you get onion from? Now I want onion. Haven't we had garlic bread, Shapes? Yeah, it would be the same, right? Yeah, how are you differentiating with garlic pizza? Maybe it's a bit more tomato-y tang. Yeah, right.

Okay. Okay. It's a pizza shape with a tang more garlic. Yeah. Cheesy garlic pizza and fried chicken. I don't know how the fried chicken would taste. Because you've got a chicken shape but then... Well, again, it's an existing shape flavour, isn't it? With a little something added.

Yeah. A few more spices or something. Well, well, well. Well, well, well shapes. I need to try, of course. Well, yeah, and a perfect time. I know, I was just thinking. I mean, I don't know when they're launching.

I mean, Australia is going to nom them up because most of them are in lockdown of some form, aren't they? Yeah. So they're perfect. They've hit that perfectly for a nom-noms in the home. Yeah, okay. But yeah, you'd imagine here, so keep a lookout on the supermarket shelves for that. To be honest, I'm a little disappointed.

Why? You were looking for something more exciting? Yeah, something completely new and different. See, I just, I don't... Fish. Yeah, shapes come to you and they're like Vaughan Smith. Fish. What, like fish?

No, shapes, fish fingers. Yuck. Fish. I was just thinking straight up fish. Fish flavoured shapes. Maybe you've got to grab people's attention. No, you've got to like make it like a smoky fish pie or something at least. No, you're fish because it's more widely.

People don't like fish pie, but they're more like fish fingers. Shapes salmon. You could do salmon. I love salmon. Salmon cream cheese bagel flavour. Yeah, what about just a whole seafood range? Shapes, shapes, pippies. Shapes.

Power fritter. Shapes, power fritter. Yum. Shapes, oysters. Oyster flavoured shapes. Yeah, I don't know if those would sell well, to be honest. Nah. All right, we'll keep an eye out for those on supermarket I don't know if those would sell well, to be honest. Nah. All right, we'll keep an eye out for those on supermarket shelves.

ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Paul Taylor is a UK man originally from Wantage in Oxfordshire. Okay. He has done a charity fundraising trip. He lost a friend to cancer last year. And he said, my friend who passed away, Alexis, loved funny place names. Okay. So he started at the bottom and worked his way to the top of the UK.

He started way down the bottom. Yeah. And Arse Hill. And what's he just driving around? He's driving to, I'm going to tell you where he drove to. And he catalogued it all online. No, how is Arsehill spelt? Spoiler alert.

They're all funny place names. Dirty, naughty place names. Okay. Arsehill in Dorset. What, like A-S-S? A-S-S. Named after the donkey. Oh, okay.

Named after the donkeys that once, I don't know, dragged stuff up the hill. Okay. Next up was the Sandy Balls Holiday Village in New Forest. They named a place called Sandy Balls. Sandy Balls. Okay. Holiday Village.

Stopped there. Went on to Piss Hill in Oxfordshire. Piss Hill. P-I-S, just one S. Oh, okay, Piss Hill. I thought you were saying Piss Hill. Piss Hill, Oxfordshire. Next, Northamptonshire.

God. You've got a shit land there. All the shires. Northamptonshire. Tiddyho. He went to Tiddyho. In rounds. You're changing that one, aren't you?

No. T-I-T-T-Y. T-I-T-T-Y-H-O. Oh, okay. It's a Rhoans. What's the origin of that? I'm just looking. I don't know because some of them I have looked up where they got their names from,

the etymology of Titty Ho. I'm not exactly sure, but he went to Titty Ho on his little – on his moped. Oh, he's on a moped? Yeah, he's on a moped. Oh, wow. Okay. Next he went to – I'd imagine called Wiley, but it looks like Willie in Warwickshire. Okay.

Next up, South Yorkshire. He went to Pena Stone. UK tourism, when tourism gets back up and running, should market this. Because people would actually do this. My mother-in-law, I think she took a diversion to go to intercourse in Pennsylvania. There's a place. But it was the intercourse of two major roads. So it was just an intercourse.

Like an intersection. An intercourse. Yeah. And then the second time they went back, she went again. They deviated from their plan to get out there. Just to get a photo. Just to get a photo. Just to get a photo. Oh, my God.

With intercourse. Hold on. I can tell you why it's called Pena Stone. It appears as Penston originally. Oh, right. That was Old English. And then combined the Old Welsh word and the Old English and then became Pena Stone.

Someone was having a laugh. Yeah, they're like, oh, this is funny. Let's keep this. From South Yorkshire to West Yorkshire to Uppathong. Oh, okay, yeah. Uppathong. Cockfield was next, and County Durham. They say it Coffield, but okay.

Not how it's spelt. I don't have the confirmation of that. Northumberland's Ogle was next. Okay. Just ogling somebody. Cockermouth in Cumbria was next. That might be. This is a place name.

You can't complain. Because Cofield I can say, like, instead of, it could be Cockfield, it could be Cofield. But how do you say Coermouth? Probably like that. Yeah, probably. Let's just leave that one at that. Yeah.

Next one is Clitheroe, Which saying doesn't look a problem But if I spell it out And you put a gap in the middle C-L-I-T And then you put the gap And then hero comes after that You can kind of see why They would have appreciated that

How many people stop at that sign? Lads He said he was Everyone needs one of those. He went to Balland. Yep, okay. In Worcestershire, most famous probably for its sauce. Yeah, the sauce.

But it was his last stop just outside of Twat that he broke down. Oh, his moped. His moped broke down. Oh, no. Just outside Twat and Orkney, and he had to hire a car to finish his challenge. Oh, his moped. His moped broke down. Oh, no. Just outside Twat and Orkney. Okay. And he had to hire a car to finish his challenge. Oh, okay. Yeah, he said it's been a bit of an adventure.

He's got photos of every one of them apart from Balland. Oh, no. The Warshershire village of Balland has had its sign stolen or removed because of the amount of times it got stolen. He raised 20,000 pounds. Oh, good one. Oh, for cancer. That's pretty good. He's had a bit of fun Oh, good one. Oh, for cancer. That's pretty good.

Had a bit of fun on the way. That's cool. Yeah. Oh, he said, oh, I will mention also Cockpole Green in Berkshire was a highlight. The Knob, he passed through. Yep. Butthole Lane, although not a village or a shire, it was a butthole lane in Shipstead. He said, yeah, he had a lot of fun.

Do you think people are like, what are you doing? He's like, well, he's touring around. Going to a funny place now. From the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello, new variant

of COVID found. It's worse than Delta, more transmissible apparently. Great. It's worse than Delta, more transmissible, apparently. Great. It's not great. It's not great, but a reminder as to why the borders are still shut. Yeah. For people who, I mean, Delta's probably been enough of a reminder

in the recent lockdown that the whole country's in. Oh, happy level three, by the way, south of the Bombays. Yeah. It's a little more south of the south of the Bombays. I saw they did the line last night. Yeah. They did the line, and people on one side of the road were level three, and people on the other side of the road were level four.

Yeah. Yeah, but then the police said the reason they're on roads is because they've got to be able to patrol them, and if it's halfway through a swamp, they can't, can they? Yeah. So this one was discovered in South Africa, this new variant. I've got the top six names for the new COVID variant found in South Africa because I thought we were sticking to the Greek alphabet.

Delta. Yeah. Delta was on them. Lambda was the one I was thinking of. Right, yeah. But that's like down the list. We skipped a whole lot to get there, unless there'd been variants that didn't turn into anything.

There was Epsilon, Zeta, Eta, Theta, Iota, Kappa, and then Lambda. They sound like sorority houses. Yeah, they do. Well, they are. That's where the Greeks... Much less fun. That's totally where they get them from.

They say like Kappa, Kappa, Pi, Rom, Delta. They just pick a whole lot to represent them. So I've got the top six South African names for the new COVID variant found in South Africa. Number six, the Biltong variant. These are all just going to tickle me. The Biltong with someone who's married to a South African. Delicious. Hopefully.

Dried meats. Yeah. But then you don't want to sully the name of Biltong. Yeah. I mean, Corona's had a hard time, hasn't it? The beer. I know. Well, actually, you still see it all drinking it.

Do you reckon it's actually made more people buy it or less? Less. It's got to have been good for soul. The other beer that you buy when you can't afford Corona because it's the more expensive of the cervezas. Okay, this is a story from the end of last year. No Corona's beer sales did not suffer from the coronavirus. Wow.

It's not related, is it? No, no, it's not. What's a famous South African beer? South African beer. Castle. Carling Black Label. The most popular and valuable brand is Carling Black Label. Okay, their sales are up 13%.

Are you kidding me? No. No publicity is bad publicity. Yeah, right. Even killing millions of people wasn't enough. No. So there you go. You could also call it that.

Okay. Carling Black Label. Okay. Variant. Probably not. Number five on the list of the top six names for the new COVID variant found in South Africa. Lekka. Which I'm just told can mean like lots of things.

It means good. Yeah. That's Lekka. Yeah. Lekka. It's like our sweet. Sweet as. Sweet.

Yeah. Sweet. Okay. Sweet. Number four on the list of the top six names for the new COVID variant discovered in South Africa. Name it after disgraced ex-South African cricket player

Hansi Kroenje. The Kroenje. Match fixing. He did some match fixing back in the day. Kroenje. Yeah. The Kroenje variant.

Yeah. It's got a good ring to it. Number three on the list of the top six names of the new COVID variant found in South Africa. Wrote. What's that?

Bad, rotten, putrid and sometimes drunk. So that kind of describes everybody's personal hygiene during lockdowns, but also that this is a bad, rotten, putrid virus. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six names for the new COVID variant found in South Africa. This is a tie.

It could be called the Browns Bay or Albany Mall. Albany Mall variant. You don't have to walk too far up there to hear an accent from back home. That is for sure. You're getting better, I reckon. When I get excited, I slip out of it.

It's when I'm doing it, I'm relaxed. I'm right in it. It's when I'm doing it, Norsen relaxed. I'm right in it. You don't have to look outside too far to see a nice people mover. Nice wing road, Nessun wing road. Oh, God. Have you done this accent in front of your friend, Ursula Carlson? Yeah, she does not like it. Not because she's insulted.

She just said it's not right. And I'm like, hey, look quiet in the chipsets, all right? Look at me. I'm the captain now. But then I realized that's another African nation and that could come across

a little racist. And number one on the list of the top six names for the new COVID variant found in South Africa. Mr. Sweetie Man. Remember me from yesterday? It's me, Mr. Sweetie Man

That's a good name for it Mr. Sweetie Man That is today's top six Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan She's 27 and her name is Taylor, how do you think it's spelt? T-A-Y-L-A Y-L-O-R

L-A That's it R-A-R. L-A-R-H. Bingo. Oh, okay. One of them. Taylor. She's 27.

She hasn't had a boyfriend in years. Okay. And hates using dating apps. And she's quite attractive. She has gone old school. She's reversed the technology. She does not like dating apps. Okay, which is fair enough.

They're annoying. She has had a stamp made that says, My Type. Then underneath that, it says, Vanilla Trilla 1. And then it says, DM Me. And so she likes guys in the clubs. She takes her stamp out.

She pops it out. She stamps her hand. And you know how those nightclub stamps last. Oh, my God, yes. You get home and in the morning you're like, oh, that was old Vanilla Trilla. I'll find her on the gram and then you find her on the gram and you flick her a message. Is it one of those stamps where you need an inking pad?

No, it's a self-inking. Oh, those are cool. That's so – there's no way I could do that. Oh, no are cool. That's so, there's no way I could do that. Oh, no, neither. Like, the balls. Like, you have to be at least over a nine to pull this off, right? Like, you said she's attractive. She's attractive.

But, like, attractive when she's like, I haven't had a boyfriend for years. You're like, what's wrong? But, like. She must be crazy. I'll say it. Would guys, because you know how a lot of guys are like, oh, you should approach them because they like it. It's refreshing, blah, blah, blah. Would you find that refreshing or would you be like, okay?

I'd be like, how am I getting this off? This is terrible. Because obviously that means she's doing it to lots of guys, right? Okay, so in the name of research, I've gone to Vanilla Triller. Okay. And it says, these are my other accounts, The Savage Vegan, The Other Side of Consciousness, and then

my bio at Vanilla Triller. So I clicked on that because I was like, what's that? Only fans. Oh, okay. Right. This sounds like Only Fans advertisement. This is promotional Right. This sounds like Only Fans advertisement. This is promotional activity. This is promotional activity. And now it's been on the Mirror.

It's been on the Mirror, which is a massive UK trash news site. So now all of these people are being redirected there and she's just trying to pick up Only Fans subscribers. I think, and dare I say it, she's not even interested in finding her oneans subscribers. I think, and dare I say it, she's not even interested in finding her one true love. But she is a marketing genius. I know.

I was just going to say like, obviously, you can't even be mad at that. Like, that's amazing. No. Give her a job in marketing. Well, I am mad at her now because OnlyFans

is in my history. So I am allowed to be mad. You clicked on that. You just delete history from the last hour. It's your work computer. That's suspicious. Now I've got a black hole in the middle of my work day. And my wife knows that I concentrate on work at work.

Yeah, good luck with that. She's also got an ASMR account on YouTube. Oh, okay. Well, it's just you talking. 20 minutes of page turning with finger licking. Plastic rustling and crinkling. Glass cracking like a phone screen protector. Yeah.

Yeah, so she's... Hot stuff. Great bit of marketing. Clever. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. Yesterday, I got my second vaccine. Guys, I'm fully vaxxed. But you're dead arm today?

Dead arm. So, a lot of people said the second vaccine hurts more or makes you feel a little bit more sick. Of course, it's different for everyone. Yeah. I would say just a bit tired and maybe a scratchy throat. See, that's why I booked my second vaccine for the Friday. So I've got the weekend.

Well, I was kind of hoping. Yeah, we're in tune. No, I was hoping if it made me sick, I'd be like, oh, guys, I can't come in. Oh, so you're the opposite. I've got the vaccine. You were wanting to leave us stranded. Well, you were wanting to leave us one down. It's like, oh, no, I can't make it in.

But, yeah, no. I actually don't feel too bad, to be honest. That's good. Dead arm, though. But it's to be expected. Yeah, just like any jab, really. Yeah. You get the dead arm.

But today, everyone over 12 is eligible to book in for a vaccine. Yeah, that's why we've got Dr. Ashley Bloomfield on around 7.30 this morning. Yes. Yeah, he's going to be injecting a whole lot of 12-year-olds for our music night. He's like, guys, listen to this. Ow!

So you went yesterday For your second And you said it was stress free In Rānui There was not even really a line And it's such an easy process The nurses are so lovely

Yeah I found that as well Yesterday would have been one of those days If you could have In West Auckland so many people would have had To skip there or delay their COVID jazz because of the flooding and not being able to travel. And people had a whole lot to deal with. I thought it might have been a good day for one of those end of day leftovers.

No, because they had to change a few vaccination sites because of the weather. The drive-thru went indoor and that had a bit of a flow on effect. Executive intern Arnie, you went for your vax yesterday. You were in a big line. Yes. Yeah, it was a bit of time flow on effect. Executive intern Arnie, you went for your vax yesterday. You were in a big line. Yes, yep. Yeah, it was a bit of time. Bit of time waiting there. Where did you go?

Mount Wellington. You should have gone to Megan's one. She didn't wait. Did you just hear that? Yeah, I did. And you saw some behaviour unbecoming of New Zealanders in this time, of a team of five million. Was it a fight?

It wasn't a fight. So there were obviously the lovely nurses and then there were a lot of people team of 5 million. Was it a fight? It wasn't a fight. So there were obviously the lovely nurses and then there were a lot of people kind of, not really say security, but kind of people getting the things moving, you know. Oh, I know the Volunteer Student Army's been doing a bit of that. Right, yes. And Christchurch and stuff.

And one of those people was like trying to get everyone to keep their distance and went up to this family and said, hey guys, can you just keep your two metres between this other family? And this guy went off at her. So that was pretty horrible to witness. I would have said, back of the line. Saying what though?

Because that's well documented. Yeah, he swore at her and then tried to... Are you kidding? Yeah, dispute the distance between them. Oh, take a tape measure. That'll solve all of that. Yeah, there were a few other people on the line that told him to shut up, so that was cool.

Oh, wow, he was put in place by other people. Good. Were the other people, like, real big and muscly? One of them was, yeah. There's nothing better when you see someone get put in their place by someone way bigger and they're just like, they shut up. Yeah. Yeah.

So good. So you've had to do a bit of admin for Vaughan, Megan. I booked not only my parents in for their vaccines. You've got to help the elders in your life. And I've booked Vaughan in this morning. I think I fall more into, because you booked your husband in too, I fall more into the young fellas that you like to help out situation. Just a couple of young cuties.

You're in no rush to do anything in life is your problem. Unless it's a Star Wars movie. I haven't been eligible. Well, you are an essential worker. No,

but then, I don't want to be like, hell essential. Oh, what do you do? Are you a paramedic or a dentist? No,

but that doesn't matter because you're out and about. It doesn't matter. You're in a workplace with other people. Yeah. Well, it's booked now. It's're out and about. It doesn't matter. You're in a workplace with other people. Yeah. Well, it's booked now. It's happening.

Yeah, no, it's good. Yeah, because Megan booked it. You were in literally no rush. You were like, oh, I'll get it done. You're not anti. You're just everything. Lazy. We don't want to take a place in the queue of people who need it.

So now, you know, today it's opened up. Today everyone is eligible. Over 12. You can go to the COVID website and book there. We should talk about vaccination date twins. If you're getting vaccinated on Friday, September 10. So this is what I want to tell people too, is that like I look around because I literally got you in New York.

And if you're hearing this now, a lot of people are going to book today. Yeah. I mean, there is the whole level four thing in Auckland and level three. So you don't want to be travelling too far. But yeah, you might just go to a different suburb and be able to get an appointment like two weeks earlier. Yeah.

No, I mean, there's lots of vaccination areas around you. Like in your, there's multiple suburbs around your area where you can check. I'm going to Albany. Albany. Albany. Why do I say that wrong every single time? I don't know. It's going to be great.

If you go to our Instagram, FVMZM, you can swipe up. We've got an easy link that will take you through to the book, the booking site to book your COVID-19 vaccine. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan. Play ZM. Paralympics. Day seven or eight? Day eight.

Day eight today. Day eight is today. Do you want to know what happened in the last day? Or do you want to know what's happening today? It's a different way of doing it. What does the rule book say? There are no rules. Yeah, there are no rules. Well, I'd probably just stick to

the normal then. Yesterday, Sophie Pascoe won a gold medal. She is now a 10-time Paralympic gold medalist. 100 metre freestyle. And before that, we mentioned she'd won her first ever bronze, so she's got the whole set. Yeah.

Yeah. She's got 10 of the golds. Isn't that nuts? Yeah. We must, Megan and I were talking about this yesterday while you were marooned in your floodwaters in Khemu. Where does she store them all? Do you think she has a cabinet?

Do you remember when we ran into her and I said, do you remember when we were in Christchurch? Yeah. Out and I said, you don't have one, do you? And she did. She had a gold medal in her handbag. That's right. She got it out and I was like, yeah, yeah. Because you get sick of punishers like you hitting her up. Do you have your medal? And then we'll be like, where's your medal? How many in total? 17? 18? Well, she's got 10 golds.

Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I think it's 18 now. Good Lord. She's just an absolute machine. She's so lovely. Yeah, she is. Super lovely.

It's a machine. Congratulations to her. Also, William Steadman, you'll remember him. He got the silver medal in the long jump. Yeah. Well, after he reckons only a few hours sleep, he went out and took out bronze in the 400 metres. He had four hours sleep. Yeah. I think it was bronze in the 400 metres. He had four hours sleep.

Yeah. I think it was just, he was just. He was jazzed. He just won a silver medal. Yeah, he was thinking about it. Yeah, right. Okay. And then he traded himself for.

You want to know what it's like to have a massive sporting achievement, Fletch, but it can really get the adrenaline going. Neither do you. Your mum put you in the rep team for hockey because she was the coach. If that's what you're referring to as a huge sporting achievement. No, I could have been referring to any one of my

major sporting achievements. Like what? God, there's so many on the list that I don't want to say it like I'm bragging, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're humble. I'm humble.

So I just want to keep it keep it humble. Was it him that said he went back and had burger pizza chips and ice cream? Yeah, because he hadn't been. I was like, babes, that's just for Friday night. Yeah, I want a medal too.

That's why I'm celebrating. Pushing it in the gob. Well, it's all about the swimming today at the Paralympics in Tokyo. 12 noon, Nikita Howarth is in our heats for 100 metre breaststroke. Jessie Reynolds at just before 1 o'clock in the 200 metre individual medley. Medley? Medley. Medley. There's no A in it.

Medley. Medley. Sophie Pass goes back in the pool in the 200 metre individual medley. That's the heat as well. And Tupou Neufi is back. 15 minutes freestyle. That was our She Won the Medal on Friday night.

I don't know. I don't know what day is what anymore. It was over the weekend. Now, should they advance to their finals? Their finals are happening tonight after 8. 8, 9.30, 9.39 and 10.36 respectively. Oh, great. Have we done better on the medal table?

Well, you check that. I'll tell you that the road cycling is happening today. Rory Mead in the men's H1-2 road race. And this is medalled, obviously. It's a big field, and whoever wins that gets the medals. In the para-athletics, Danielle Atchison, who already won a medal. She's back out there for the women's 100s for the heats,

should she advance through the final 10 o'clock tonight. And shooting para sport. Michael Johnson is out in the 10-meter air rifle prone. Okay. Is that the standing one or the lying one? Oh, I don't know. I just think it's lying because of prone hold. Prone hold, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Would it be? I can't wait till they have laser strike at the Olympics. I reckon that's me. I bet those Russians will have their hand over the sensor too. It is the lying one.

With the little legs on the rifle. Like a sniper. That's badass. So that's what's happening at the Paralympics today. Best of luck to all of our athletes. 163 nations. New Zealand 22 on

the medal chart. Three golds, three silver and two bronze. Not bad. Great stuff. Play ZM's Flesh Fawn and Megan. Well, Dr. Ashley Bloomfield just waiting for him to call through, I believe. Executive

Intern Anu Yudhis Mon... Oh, he's there. He's there. He was just on the news. He was just on the news and now he's here. Dr. Ashley Bloomfield, good morning. Kia ora, good morning. Big day today because most of the country is now eligible for the vaccine.

Yeah, that's a huge day. First day of spring, and it's a cracking good day here in Wellington, I have to say. Not just because I can get out for a takeaway coffee, but first day of spring, everyone is eligible. Anyone 12 and over, if you haven't booked your vaccine already, you can go on to bookmyvaccine.nz or ring the special health line number and get your name down.

Okay, don't tell us. We're going to guess. What do you reckon Dr. Ashley Bloomfield's takeaway coffee order is? Long Black. I'm going to say Mochaccino. No, he's not a Mochaccino, man. He's not a Mochaccino, man. It's a flat white.

Mochaccino. It's a flat white. It's just a regular flat white. They're the most kiwi of all coffee drinks. Do you know, and this still to this day amazes us, Dr. Ashley Bloomfield, when all-black Captain Kieran Reid came in, he was sporting a moccaccino. Well, that one spoiled me. I had no idea.

You've been dealing with a pandemic for nigh on two years, and the fact that Kieran Reid drank moccaccinos blows you off your feet. Yeah, too right. Dude, amazing. So what would you say to people who maybe, because now that, you know, the vaccines are, what is the age, by the way, that it opens up to today? Down to 12?

It's basically down to 12 plus. You know, just a couple of weeks ago, we made the announcement about 12 to 15-year-olds now being eligible as well, which is great that we can go down there. And of course, they're still doing the trials overseas about children and we'll be watching that really closely. But basically anyone 12 and over now can book their vaccine.

And if you go online, there's a huge number of places you can have that done. But also for many people, their local GP or pharmacy may well be offering it as well. So take the opportunity. It's been just great over the last couple of weeks. Nothing like an outbreak to spur people's interest in getting vaccinated. So we've been doing

them in record numbers. And we were just booking as well this morning for Vaughan here, who's useless at life admin. I had to book in Vaughan, Dr Ashley. Well, good on you. And probably a good thing to point out that even if your local place doesn't have it, the suburb over could have appointments sooner, we found. Like there was one place that had them like in October

and one place that had them like in, you know, next week. Yeah, it's worth looking around. I mean, the Book My Vaccine site will show the places you can get vaccinated that are closer to you, but go out a bit further. You might find just a short drive can take you to a place where you can get it a bit further. You might find just a short drive can take you to a place where you can get it a bit sooner. So go for that.

Dr. Ashley Bloomfield, what would you say to people who would be hesitant or maybe not 100% keen on getting their teenagers vaccinated? They might be like, I'm in my 40s, I'm going to get it done, but I've got a teenage child and it doesn't affect teenagers as much and maybe we'll wait longer on that. What would you say to them now that it's open? Well, a couple of things. I mean, this outbreak we've got in Auckland at the moment, over 600 cases, two thirds of them are under 34.

And as you might have heard yesterday, you know, we've got six children under one who are infected. We've got an 18 year old in intensive care. So it's not a trivial infection. And also, you know, your teens are able to make pretty good decisions most of the time, I'm sure. Make sure they get the information and that they're able to make a decision and encourage them as well to look at the information. But this is not a trivial infection, and it can have, you know, bad outcomes for anyone of any age, including our teens

and children. Without like, I don't want to scare people, but I thought who better to ask than you? We saw some information about like a South African variant, a new South African variant that was more dangerous than Delta. What do you know about that? Yeah, well, actually, I got asked about this yesterday, and we've seen one isolate of this in someone in New Zealand about, it was back in June, but that didn't get through the border, it was in managed isolation. But I got a bit of further information. Actually,

there've only been just over 100 of these isolates found right around the world so far. So yes, it might be a new variant. It's not a variant of concern at the moment because it doesn't seem to be transmitting in numbers, unlike the Delta, which has just really taken over actually right around the world. Right. One last question before you go. What was your thoughts inside your head? We could see your smirk last week

when Chris Hipkins said the spread your legs thing and you had a little wry smile. What was going on in your mind at that moment? Well, I was just trying hard not to burst out laughing, actually. I was just thinking, OK, what do I need to do just to hold it together here? And I think it was lucky. I think it was lucky all the reporters were wearing masks because I understand that some of them had tears rolling down their faces. Dr. Ashley Bloomfield, thank you so much. You can book your COVID vaccine now at the covid19.gov.nz website. If you're over the age of 12, thank you so much for talking to us this morning.

Kia ora, good morning. All right. Next on the show. Homeschooling. Yesterday it came to a head at School Smith. Oh, really? School? Okay.

Whatever it is. Who's the headmaster at your school? There's no headmaster. It's Shed. Oh, okay. Liar. Yeah. You know the Green Party do that co-leader thing?

Yeah, that's what it's like. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Except I'm Marama Davidson. Yeah, I'll tell you what happened next. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Homeschooling at the Smith house yesterday.

She was all go. Okay. Oh, I'm so grateful that I don't have to do that. It's too young. We just watched the Wiggles. Well, no, but that's like homeschooling. Yeah. A little bit.

Yeah. But when a little bit. Yeah. But when a little bastion is like six, you'd be like, all right, here's the history of Versace. We did this last week. Today we're learning about Gucci, the family. I don't care for Gucci. I'll just put House of Gucci on. I'm a Burberry baby. I told you that.

Give me that wolf's tooth pack, goddammit woman. Hound's tooth? Hound's tooth. Don't you correct me. Wabashack. And then he backhands you. Because he's basically Stewie Griffin in my mind. A well-dressed Stewie Griffin.

Yeah. So after flood cleanup and that business was all taken care of, it was time to settle down to homeschooling. And I've noticed in the homeschooling thus far, Sade's more hands on with the homeschooling. And

Indy, I see a lot of me in her because if somebody else is sitting there, they'll pretty much just encourage the other person to do the work for them. You know, that's my game. You've seen me do it here at work every day. I'll be like, oh, really?

How does that work? I know how it works. I just don't want to do it. And I've seen Ernie being like, I don't know. And Shade's like, well, you do this and then this and then what would the answer be? She'd be like, what? And Shade's like, well, if you did that and did that

and then the answer would be, and then she gives her the answer and then he's like, oh, did that And did that And then the answer would be And then she gives her the answer And then he's like Oh okay So what about the next one And I'm like Just She knows how to do that Yeah

Tell her to get that done And walk away Yeah Get that done And then out And then she hasn't done it And then you come back at the end And you're like

Wrong wrong wrong wrong Do it again Like And Shana's like No no You get it done And then it gets done. Are you not proud of her for working smarter, not harder?

Indie. Yeah. Yeah, totally. But I also know that Sade's just going to keep falling for it. She's too kind a soul. Yeah. I'm like, do it. And she's like, I don't know how.

I'm like, you damn well you know how. I'm a good old school 80s teacher. And then I smack them for good measure. Cane them. Yeah. And then I smack them for good measure. Cane them. Yeah. And then I run up to the bedroom and I'm like, I'm paging Mrs. Smith to the principal's office. And then she gets down there and I'm naked and she's like,

put your goddamn clothes on, Mr. Smith. This is an HR issue now. The principal's naked. Yeah, and I say, it's not like the good old days where a principal would get their kid off in front of the art teacher. Presumably. Do you want those extra pastels or not? Yeah.

Does the art department want funding? Oh, yeah. So yesterday she said, will you help August? Yep. And I'll help Indy. And August had this assignment where she had to pick an animal

and then there was like 10 slides and every slide was like a different thing. Oh, it's like a capture to make sure you're not a robot. Huh? On the computer. No, it's an assignment. You've got to pick all the animals. No, no, no.

Just getting them ready for online life. She had to choose an animal and then do a study on it. Oh, okay. So it was a blank slate, and then she was like, pick an animal, any animal, and then you've got to do this assignment on that animal. Yeah, right. And so she picked cat. And then I was like, well, you've got those things.

Any question, dad's going to be playing ratchet and clank. I'm just in the room next door. Don't go out and bother your mother because then I'm going to get in the air full about playing ratchet and clank. You come and see me, I'll pause my Ratchet and Clank because it's a single-player game. You sound like the great teacher. I'm going to be in the back office smoking.

But so she's like, okay. So then all of a sudden I'm playing Ratchet and Clank and there's someone standing at the door. It's Mrs. Smith, that bitchy art teacher. You'll remember earlier, didn't get the funding for the art department. She wouldn't sleep with the principal. She's like, you're not helping.

I said, I'm helping her help herself. And I'm also helping Ratchet and Clank defeat Dr. Nefarious. And so... Because the teacher doesn't do it for them. That's right. I was like, but she's done it all wrong. I'm like, well that's for them That's right I was like And she's like But she's done it all wrong

I'm like well that's For her to find out at the end Because she didn't read The instructions right You need to guide her I did guide her I was like any questions She's like nah it's all good

So then she's like Go and help her So I walk back in And I'm like page one The animal Cat I was like great Name

August Smith What's the scientific name And she's like I don't know my scientific name I was like It's not your scientific name It's the cat's scientific name And she's like, I don't know my scientific name. I was like, it's not your scientific name, it's the cat's scientific name. And she's like, how do I find that? I was like,

well, if you were going to Google it, how would you Google it? And she's like, I guess I'd Google cat's scientific name. I'm like, bingo, we're learning. I'm back at Ratchet and Clank. I'm there if you need me. Don't let your mother weigh you down. Remember to read the questions. Yeah, yeah. Then the art teacher's up my arse again.

I have a feeling she's less art teacher, more principal. She's rushing. She's rushing through it. I was like, well, that's your fault because you told her when she finishes that assignment, she can go and play Roblox. Yeah. I was like, you said that. So now she's rushing. Yeah. And so

then I'm like, oh, bring it here. Even though I said I'd go to her. Yeah. I can't be bothered getting up and down too many times. August, bring it here! So she brings it here and I'm like, oh yeah, you've rushed this a bit. I was like, go back through and read it again. She's like, I'm never gonna get this done. I'm like, yes.

Embrace the hate to get the assignments done. You need to sit down and do it for her. I'm not gonna do it for her because then I went in and it was like, label the parts. That's what I don't want to do. Oh, yeah, me too. Because then it gets me more ratcheting plank time.

And, by the way, I've almost 100% completed that. You've nearly finished that. I know you have. So, yeah, we went through it and I was like, okay, so here's an outline of a cat. How would you find an outline of a cat? And she was like, I'd Google it, I guess. I was like, see, we are learning. We're learning. So then she got the outline of the cat. How would you find an outline of a cat? And she was like, I'd Google it, I guess. I was like, see, we are learning, we're learning.

So then she got the outline of the cat and she labelled it. And then she said, the teacher said I only had to do three pages of this. I said, if you do it, all of it, you get the free week. And I saw her look me in the eye and be like, yeah, she's like, I'm going to rush this. I was like, yeah, okay, cool. We'll just talk about it later. Anyway, I've got to go back to the wretched client.

Right, okay. So homes just talk about it later. Anyway, I've got to go back to the ratchet clamp. Right, okay. So homeschooling's going great. So from the sounds of it, it just sounds like Google it. A hundred percent. It's the answer for everything. Everything. They don't know how lucky they are to have it at their fingertips. She's like, I've got the outline of the cat.

How do I find out what the cat parts are called? I was like, what do you reckon? She's like, Google it. I was like, I've taught. My of the cat. How do I find out what the cat parts are called? I was like, what do you reckon? She's like, Google it? I was like, I've taught. My teaching here is done. Do you reckon the art teacher's turning up today? Or having a sickie? The art teacher's had an absolute gutsful.

She'll be whinging to the board of trustees next. This is why the art teacher had that back room with a couple of bottles of wine in it. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. And we were just chatting to Dr. Ashley Bloomfield in Wellington. His first coffee. Yeah, he's going to be getting himself a flat white. That's his go-to, the flatty.

Yep. His first takeaway coffee in weeks. So he's jazzed for it. But we want to know what you're getting this morning, if anybody's in line. Oh, and just live vicariously through you being, you know, that we broadcast in Auckland at the heart of Level 4 at the moment. Yep. I don't usually like hearing people eat,

but I'd be down for it this morning. But ASMR. Oh, my God, if someone's got a McMuff, just like really close up to the mic there. Yeah. Sloop of coffee. Why are we doing this to ourselves? Why are we doing it?

But yeah, a lot of reports in this morning. Yeah, but there's also reports of no lines. Somebody said you just drove past the Matamata McDonald's. No line. No line. Whereas some have been snaking around the block. Yeah, donated. And some hearts. Looking at you. Somebody else

just said they got nuggies after working night shift in the hospital. Well worth the wait. Thank you for your service. Yes, you deserve them. You deserve those nuggies. You do, yeah. You deserve the nuggies. You earned the nuggies.

Somebody else has reported a 30-minute wait. Oh, okay. They didn't say where. They said, I just waited 30 minutes in the queue. Did they say what they got? Yeah, McMuffin. Yeah.

And a general breakfast. General breakfast combo. I like that. Would you get hotcakes for later? Oh, sure. I like that,

they, on the news last night, they had cafes and businesses preparing for level three and the cafes that were doing the big, they didn't have drive-thrus,

they were maybe just your local cafes. They had the big wooden paddles and they'd pass them through the window. That's ballsy. Yeah. You've got to hold a paddle perfectly flat. Well, yeah, otherwise you're tipping on them.

It's like putting a pizza into the pizza oven. You don't want to tip a hot coffee on somebody's lap, do you? That would spoil any return business. But lots of reports coming through. So thank you for rubbing that in our face this morning. Really appreciate that. Ravenswood, North Canterbury, no line. They said they just flew straight through.

Oh, good stuff. Now they're putting in their pie hole. Enjoy. You enjoy that. Slowly, no choke. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. We've asked you to compile your most favourite reality shows, because we all need a new show to binge

in lockdown, level 3 or 4. We've got those coming up on the show before 9 o'clock. China has instated new public legislation that will ban children from playing any more than 3 hours of video games a week.

And if you're under 18, you are classed as a child. 3 hours a week. How if you are under 18, you are classed as a child. Three hours a week. How are they enforcing this? Well, there's mandates. Companies are barred from offering their services to children outside the window of time, which is between

8 and 9pm on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. Those are the only three days that you can offer your services. So that's what online gaming platforms Yeah But then how How are they going to Stop you playing

A game on your phone Or using your Playstation Don't know What they just maybe How do they I was going to say They could cut off Access to live

Well yeah They could cut off Access to like Playstation servers right Because then they do that With Facebook So they could get Webu going God God, China sounds

like a fun place to live, doesn't it? So, hey, on national holidays you're allowed to play as well. It's a fourth fun day. You also have to sign on to any online games using your real name so that you can't have multiple accounts. Oh, right, okay. You've got to somehow

prove your true identity when you log on. Oh, God. It's a scary place. And they're always looking at you on their cameras and giving you points for being socially, you know, like dropping litter and jaywalking. So in 2019, they did rules then, but it was then that you were only allowed to play for a maximum of 90 minutes a day. Right. But now it's 60 minutes a day for three days of the week.

Oh, God. Yeah. And they weren't allowed to play at all between 10pm and 8am and real names and phone numbers were required. This is what you should tell your kids that Jacinda's banned roadblocks during the week.

Roadblocks. Roadblocks. I don't know what it's called. Isn't it roadblocks? No, it's roadblocks. You always call it roadblocks. No, I don't. I say road roadblocks? No, it's roadblocks. You always call it roadblocks. No, I don't. I say roadblocks.

No, you always say roadblocks. Like row your boat blocks. R-O-B-L-O-X. Oh, roadblocks. Yesterday they were like, they were playing with their cousins in Australia who were also in lockdown. Yeah. Do you want to role play? This is the conversation.

Do you want to role play? Yeah, what should we do? Should we rob a bank? Wow. So suggested. I think August was going to rob a bank. Wow, okay, wow, good. Yeah, that's all working out well then, isn't it?

Yeah, sometimes it's like, should we roleplay? Yep, okay, I'll be the mum, you be the baby. And it's like, oh, mum, it's like, come on, bedtime. I'm like, you've got dolls and stuff, you could literally play playing some rubber. But yesterday it was like, yeah, do you want to role play? Should we rob a bank? So China is basically your parents who are sick of you not doing your homework

and just on PlayStation. Yeah, they're limiting your time. Well, I was wondering this morning for you listening, what did your parents have to limit your time doing? As a kid. As a kid. Maybe there was like a rule like this. Yeah.

Where you weren't allowed gaming or computer time or the internet until... Or maybe you got in trouble for going places you shouldn't have gone. So your exploring was somewhat limited. Oh, yeah. Okay. You could only be away from home for a certain amount of time. Because then they could limit the radius if they need to go search for you. Or maybe your parents just unplugged the router and took the router away for a certain amount

of time. That would happen. That would totally happen. I mean, it doesn't have to be technology. It could be anything. Yeah. What about, I've always thought that with the kids that had motorbikes. Oh, yeah.

Like, if they were just hooning around on motorbikes all day, they're using heaps of petrol and stuff. Yeah. So I wonder if anybody had their time limited on a motorbike. Or like at a playground, if you're one of those kids that could play on a playground all day and your parents are like, can we please go?

Three more flying foxes. And they're like, all right, well, you're only allowed five flying foxes today. Oh, yeah, yeah. One flying fox. Yeah. What about you, Megan? Did you ever have anything limited as a kid?

No. Not really. Princess Megan up there on the hill. But I was also a really good girl. So, like, I didn't flout any rules. I didn't need anything limited. We had our juice limited. Oh, yeah, because you got too high-fired?

No, we just went through too much cordial. Oh, okay. Yeah, right. Because it got to thepo? No, we just went through too much cordial. Oh, okay. Yeah, right. Because it got to the point where the big argument was always making the new bottle of cordial when you finished the old bottle of cordial. Because there was a lot of shaking involved because we were a powder family, not a liquid. Yeah. And, yeah, we were like Raro or Refresh.

We were powder. Thrifty. No, thrifty was the liquid. Oh, yeah. That was easy because you just pour it in, fill it up with water, and it would mix itself. Were you a liquid family? Yeah, but I mean, I don't know what.

That stuff was probably giving us brain lesions because it was artificial sweetener, wasn't it? It's probably why neither of us have great teeth. We were raised on cordial. Yes. All right, well, 0800DARLSATM, 9696 to text in. Yeah, what were you limited? What was limited for you when you were a kid?

We're talking about what you were limited as because China has now limited gaming for minors, so people under 18, to three hours a week. The same three hours for everybody too. Saturday night, Sunday night, no, Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night, 8 to 9pm. I was gonna

say like, oh my god, way to get re-elected. That's a joke there because they just do what they want. Yeah. Anyway. So what were you limited? I want to start with producer Jared's life. Oh my goodness. Producer Jared sent this through.

Heartbreaking. He's in the, he's in the, hi. Socially distanced production booth. Yeah, yeah. He said, I was only allowed

to play RuneScape in the same room as my parents on weekends. Okay. What's RuneScape? RuneScape's a fairly, like, it's not like dodgy

or anything. There's no naked characters. Oh goodness. Okay. But they wanted to make sure that he was playing RuneScape. Oh, yeah. Maybe they were worried that... He could also only play PlayStation 2 on the weekend

and only for a maximum of two hours. Jared, this is horrible. And my parents also used to take the Wi-Fi cord with them when they left me home alone. Why don't you just buy another one and hide it? Jared, is that a masturbatory thing? It was. It was to stop him playing with himself.

He's shaking his head. He says it wasn't a masturbatory thing. By the way, I think we should get him back in the studio with everybody. I'm worried if he can't be left at home alone with the internet. He's got the internet in that studio. It could be a masturbatory thing. And he's got curtains. What would it have been if it wasn't masturbatory related?

Message on the text why you weren't allowed the Wi-Fi when they went out. Were you likely to Google bomb recipes or something? Why are you yelling? He's all the way over there. I know, but you're in a soundproof room and you're on a microphone. He can hear you.

I don't tell me my business. He's messaged through. You raise a very good point. I don't think so. I was naughty. F. I was naughty. F.

You weren't naughty. You're a good boy. I need to hear the story of his mum. Why didn't he just buy his own Wi-Fi cord and hide it? Yeah, I know. Grace, what was limited for you as a kid? Vita wheat crackers. Oh, God, your parents are worse than the Chinese government.

My mum caught me making like 15 of them with Vegemite and cheese once. So after that that I was only allowed six a day. Six? Wow, that's still quite a bit. You don't want to ruin... Oh no, I've got to eat my yuck. You don't want to ruin dinner. No, we've got to have the Vegemite and the cheese. Are they the brown ones?

They're yuck. Yeah, that taste like carnivore. They're so yum. Nah, they're dry. I love them. You'd have so much saliva in your mouth to get them to work. You'd go cruscuts over those. Put a bloody topping on them. You don't eat them dry. No, they suck everything.

They suck you dry. Grace, thanks. You're cool. Elena, what was limited or banned in your house growing up? Tomato sauce. Oh, hang on. We weren't allowed too much tomato sauce. What, one squirt per meal?

No, so you'd think it was for that reason. But my mum had made tomato soup one night and my sister and I refused to eat it. And we love tomato sauce, so we were told, right, if you can't have tomato soup, then there's no tomato sauce. And we thought she was joking, but no, she stuck to it. Hot play.

For how long? Well, she said it was going to be for a year, but it ended up being a couple of years. And it got to the point where she'd drop us off at our friend's houses and tell our friend's parents now they can't have tomato sauce. Oh my god! They were instigating the rules outside of their jurisdiction. Oh my god. How stubborn is your mum?

Is she known for this? Very, very stubborn. Wait, so is that do you eat heaps of tomato sauce now or are you off it? I don't really have it heaps but my sister, she could drink it. I love that mum stuck to her guns for so long. I know.

So cute, but I love it. And have you spoken to your mum about this since? She has no regrets? No, she's got no regrets and she'd probably do it again. Is she a grandmother yet? Is your mum a grandma yet? No, she's actually passed. but she would probably be the one that would let the kids eat as much tomato sauce.

Yeah, absolutely. This is my mum and dad. Not too much tomato sauce, no more salt, and you have to eat with the knife and your fork. My kids are just like, salt? Mum bought them chicken salt. They're allowed to put it on whatever they want. Elena, thank you so much for your call.

Niamh, what was limited or banned in your house growing up? I got a time limit put on me for stretching, for cheerleading and gymnastics. Well, your parents didn't want you being too flexible. Well, when I would just cartwheel everywhere instead of walking and constantly was trying to put my foot behind my head in public, they found it a bit of a nuisance. And then I tried to sleep in the splits.

So they were like, only an hour and a half a day. You tried to sleep in the splits? I'm very competitive and I wanted to be the bendiest. And to be fair, I was. Wow. Yeah, dude, you were sleeping in the splits. God, I can't even touch my toes. How would Mum and Dad time that?

You do a cartwheel, they'd be like, beep, beep, one more second. That's one more second towards your total. No, it was no cartwheels in public, and then I could do stretching at home, but only for an amount of time. That is wild, eh? Amazing. Niamh, thank you for sharing some messages, Ed. Instagram responses, because we asked on the gram,

someone said no coloured ice cream cones in our house, because when you got to the end of the packet, there was always a colour that caused the fight. Yellow. That would have been yellow in our family too. I would have been green. My brother would have been blue.

My sister would have been red. Dad would have got stuck with the yellow. Poor old Ian. Someone said Nutella. It would get demolished too much. So my parents would buy

a jar of Nutella and then portion it out hiding the jar only portioning it out as much as they believed we should be eating a week. Oh, wow. You weren't allowed Nutella. No, she didn't.

I know neither. The Simpsons. My brother would get angry and start strangling us like Homer did to Bart. We weren't allowed to watch The Simpsons. We weren't allowed to watch it either. It was nuts. Why not? The Simpsons used to be on after Married with Children.

Now, I don't know if anybody's watched Married With Children lately, but that is not a show that has aged particularly well. No, no, it hasn't. We were severely limited on the scoops of Milo where we were allowed. There was a label on the top of the tin saying, one green scoop, only Susie. That's targeting. Susie.

That's specifically targeting Susie. It really is. You've got gotta wind that in Full house TV show Because we started acting Like the twins Oh god

Yeah okay Not the Olsen twins Because they're never on screen At the same time Uncle Jesse's twins Oh right It must have been Uncle Jesse's twins

Some text messages A friend of mine Had the wifi limited Literally their router Was on one of those timers That you stick into the wall and you push down the pins of the hours you want to use. And then it would turn

itself off at 8 o'clock at night and that was all. Wow. That's what producer Jared has messaged back because we did mention producer Jared earlier in the show. His parents would go out at the weekend and take the Wi-Fi cord. I would assume it was a masturbatory regulation. He said our Wi-Fi router was taken because I was really good at pretending to do schoolwork while I was actually talking was a masturbatory regulation. He said our Wi-Fi router was taken because I was really good

at pretending to do schoolwork while I was actually talking to girls on MSN. My man. What was your MSN handle? Your hotmail. What was your hotmail MSN? ICQ. That was ICQ, yeah. Okay. Good stuff.

Little short I don't understand this. Little short, eh. Little short. Little short, eh? Little short. Little underscore short underscore eh. Little short, eh? But if they went out, if they went out,

presumably no one's doing schoolwork while their parents have gone out, right? Well, it was obviously a masturbatory thing. It was totally a masturbatory thing. All right, Fact of the Day is next. ZDM, Spl, Ron and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Today's fact of the day is that Britain used to have 33 public holidays a year.

Whoa. Okay. And every day you'd get one off. You'd get one off on every day. Yep. 33 public holidays a year because saints days and religious festivals were considered so important that they warranted a day off. Yeah, right.

But then in 1834, someone was like, I don't think we need to take a day off. Every time. For the saints and the Christian stuff. Let's just bang that in on church on Sunday. People are already taking Sunday off. Yeah. Vis-a-vis. He sounds like a business owner. More. That's exactly what I was thinking.

Having to pay time and a half each time. And it went from 33 to four. Oh, wow. Did anyone hate him? Yeah. Well, apart from the people who owned the businesses, as you said,

they are now back up to 8 to 10 depending on nation. So there's some Scottish ones and some Welsh ones. Right. So they're back up

to 8 to 10. But it got me thinking about what country has the most number of public holidays. Argentina. 19 public holidays. Argentina. 19 public holidays a year.

Australia just behind them. Is one of them meat related? Because they do love their meat. 14 of them are meat related. They love their meat. Barbecues. Australia have 11 to 14 depending on the state. So Australia's up there.

What about us? Do you have ours? Do you have ours? We are down the list at 11. 10. Oh. Does that include the new Matariki? Does not include Matariki.

Oh, by the way, I lied. It wasn't Argentina. That was alphabetically. Oh, my gosh. So when I sent myself the link, and I was like, yeah, that's right. But then it re-established itself as alphabetical. Oh, right. Look, Argentina's got nothing to show off about at 19.

It's Cambodia with the most at 28. Whoa. 28. That's like a month. Average, yeah, two months. That's all of February. Sri Lanka, 25. Yep.

Egypt, 22. Yep. India, 21. Wow. And then we're back down to Argentina Slipping in at 5th place with 19 Alright, okay And we're on 11 If you were trying to balance countries That

I mean parts of Cambodia are absolutely beautiful And be fun to live in And visit Southeast Asia. We haven't been able to go there for a while, have we? No. Sri Lanka. Yeah, that looks good.

If I scroll down the Philippines, lovely spot. Don't get caught with drugs there, though. You'll be dead. Colombia. You're Colombia. Also 18. Trinidad and Tobago. Never been there, but they did always have a netball team in the Netball World Cup.

I thought you were going to say like Miss World or whatever. There was always like a Trinidad. A very tall Trinidadian or toboggan. Is that what you call them? Yeah, I think they call them toboggans. Yeah. And the winner from toboggan. From Trinidadian.

Trinidadian and toboggan. Yeah Trinidadiddy. Trinidadiddy and Toboggan. Yeah, they have 18 as well. Who's got the least? If you scroll down to the bottom, who's the non-Fonhon? This list, the United Kingdom, 8 to 10 depending on nation. Canada, 8 to 12 depending on province. Ireland, 9. Fiji, 10.

We're only just ahead of that, but a lot of places don't have, like, specific state action, day off public holidays. It's like, yeah, you can take Christmas off if you want, but you're not getting paid for it. But we get, like, your annual leave. You're entitled to your annual leave, whereas a lot of countries don't. They don't get that.

Okay. They've got to take unpaid leave. So today's fact of the day is England once had, and it would put them in the lead, by the way, if they still had 33 public holidays until one day a guy was like, you don't need all those days off. And it went from 33 to four like that. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I have a way that you can look at someone's Instagram stories anonymously

so they won't know that you have looked, obviously. Right, so if you're stalking an ex or someone you like. Or you might not follow someone, but then you want to look at something. You really want them in my food bag code. But you don't want them to know that you've looked. Sure, okay. Yeah. I could think of so many things and I'm not going to say them out loud

because it makes me sound like a psycho. Well, you are a psycho. Just own it. We've been saying. I can just think of so many times that this would be handy. Insta-stories.online. No, this sounds like one of those ones you give your details to and it sells them. So once you put that, oh, I don't know about that. It has a little lock on the...

But you're not logging in on your Instagram. You don't have to log in. Oh. This is how it's anonymous. It's just a website and then straight away it says enter username. But then if they're a private account, you won't be able to see it. It doesn't work if they're private. Yeah, gotcha.

That's the catch. That's the only catch. So if somebody's got an open profile, this will work. If it's a public profile, it will work. You literally just type in their username. It will come up with their profile and the little profile with the circle around it and you can just play it. You haven't logged in.

It doesn't know who's watching it. And then what is it? Does it on their profile just say some random user watched their story? Wouldn't it be the same as just not being logged into Instagram in a browser and going to a browser? I just tried to do that. I don't think you can watch a story without logging in. It comes up with a little thing being like,

do you want to log in as your account? Oh, right. It won't need you to watch the story until logging in it comes up with with a little thing being like do you want to log in as your account right it won't need you watch the story until you choose a login on a web browser for instagram wow so this is different sneaky little way around it yeah yeah so go through some of those other reasons you'd do this nah no just a couple just a couple send them in the group chat and then i'll pretend it's my idea. No. There would be a few reasons why you might want to, like, look at someone else's story. Yeah, but this is – and then I'll be like, oh, I've just thought of one,

and then no one will know it's you. No, no one will know it's you. Just do one. No, just if there's any reason why you'd want to watch someone's story. Without them knowing that you watched it. Yeah. Okay. You send through one.

I'm going to say three. Someone you've got like major beef with. And you don't want them to, you know, you don't follow them anymore. Who do you have major beef with? I don't. So you don't want them to have the glory of being like, ha, that person doesn't like me, but they just watched 15 seconds of their life. I own now

and I'm living rent free in their head. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's one. Who goes into, on your story, who goes in and sees who's looked at your story though? I don't do that, but some people might. I guess if you're wanting

to see if your ex was looking, you'd look, right? Yeah. But then again, if they were using this, hunting. Is that at the top or would you have to scroll

to find them? I don't know. It depends how many followers you've got. Okay. I didn't want to sound like an a-hole, but like if someone's got

a lesser amount of followers, you might go through. It'd be insane. It'd be easier to see, gotcha. Who, if your ex or someone was looking. All right, 10 minutes away from nine, you still sound like a psycho, though. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan.

We're binging a lot of TV at the moment, obviously. We're stuck at home. So we thought we would run through each day different genres of TV shows that people are binging. So today, reality TV shows, as voted by you, these are the best ones. I'm, I'm, I can't believe none of my reality shows made the list.

Big Timber? Big Timber, baby. Big Logs? Didn't make the list. Logger. Wooder Logs. Big Timber's great. I've seen every single one of these.

Have you? You like all of your old mate, like the Gold Rush show. You love that one, don't you? I loved Gold Rush. What about American Pickers? Have you ever watched that? These dudes go around America and they go into like old barns and they feel like, I'll buy that.

And the old boy's like, I ain't selling that. And he's like, $2,500? He's like, I said, I ain't selling that. And he's like, $2,500? He's like, I said I ain't selling that. And he's like, $3,000? It's always in the South. It's always in the South. $3,000? He's like, now we're talking, boy.

You got yourself a deal, son. And then they shake, and then they chuck them in the back of the truck, and then they take it away and sell it, I assume. It's awesome. Thrilling stuff. Such a great show. First up is Below Deck. This is on Bravo and on Netflix.

It is a group of people who walk aboard luxury yachts. So, like, there's drama between the crew members and there's drama between, like, the clients, because they're usually rich, demanding clients. So, it's drama-filled, nautical theme it's good stuff selling sunset so this is um selling real estate in yeah la i've got friends that love this show i've i've seen i mean i know of all of these shows on this list but i'm not a reality fan yeah they are pretty cutthroat agents and there's a bit of drama that goes down between them.

Because Chrissy Teigen called them out and was like, I've bought and sold a lot of real estate in LA and I've never met any of these people. Yeah. Because there was rumours that it was set up. Yeah. I don't know the outcome of that. Real Housewives is on Bravo and Netflix. Do we need to explain? No.

Of every location. This is my favourite. I binge during maternity leave. RuPaul's Drag Race is on Netflix. There is the original Drag Race. We're up to All Stars 6 now. There's a secret celebrity drag race. Then there's UK

versions and there's so many that you could binge. Master Chef is on TVNZ On Demand. Now the Smith House is hooked into this. Yeah, well it's finished now. I'm not going to say who won because I think it's still like people might be catching up. There was like

10 million episodes in this season. It was the Australian MasterChef. Yeah, it was good. It was, I just kind of dipped in and out but my kids knew all the characters names, not characters, all the people on the show's names and everything. Yeah, right. I'd love to say it's a bit of inspiration, but what was the meal you were like,

I'm going to cook that, and then how many? It had like 60 ingredients. No, it was 98 steps and 60 ingredients. And you're like, I'm not going to make that. It was like Latisse meatloafy. I'm not doing a great job of explaining it. Vaughan, please pass us your apron. You're off home.

Okay. Yeah. And last of all, Love Island, which the US one is on neon. The US one has just started. The UK one is just finished. I'm catching up. I mean, it is trash. I know.

I thought the US one was like not good Oh the US one's not as good as the UK one And they just announced Australian Love Island too didn't they? Yeah Better than the US

but not as good as the UK In the middle We're gonna line them up Big flower fight Somebody said to me you might like big flower fight It's like With big bags of flower

and they fight each other No no no no no no It's like Project Runway for florists Oh I liked my better. Have you seen that glass blowing one? Yeah. What's that called? Everyone's raving about that. Yeah. Is that called blowing? Puffy hot sand. Sure.