ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 20th April 2021

Episode Date: April 19, 2021

Top 6: Matthew McConaughey  A word has been Cancelled  Bluff or Stuff: Snow Lying  Hayleys Neighbours  Should I Feel Guilty?  Producer Jareds Pizza Video Stores  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fletch Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app to get McCafe rewards today and I thank Vaughan. A small round of applause for Hayley Jane Sproul who managed to do the show today without vomiting. Yeah, it was it was close call there. Let me just open up the group chat from this morning. What time would this message have come through? Five something Oh no, four something Late fours So usually I like to leave the house about quarter to

4.55am to the group chat So This is from Hayley So I was feeling really nauseous when I woke up And just leaving the house now I just had a big spew Gonna come in anyway and just bloody see Vaughn says Jesus I just woke up because we've eaten the

same oh yeah okay last night have you been paying attention yeah and i feel like i woke up and i was really really tired like we got home late after recording and and i was like oh i don't feel well but i'm just you know had a big weekend and it's your do you think it's your body's way of saying look bitch calm down i reckon it's being like I'm drowning in here We're drowning in Prosecco in here But yeah I did and I got that feeling I was like oh she's nauseous And I just sort of had a couple of pauses

And I was like come on now I'm not a big spewer And then I got that You know when you start to Your mouth starts to salivate Oh yeah it's like prepping for some vaughn. And you start to get really hot. And I was like, oh, no. And this was just before I was going to leave the house.

And I'll skip the details, but I had a little spew. And then I woke up Aaron and I was like, you know when you just need to tell someone? So Aaron was asleep. And I was like, Aaron, I need a spew. And then he rubbed my back way too aggressively. He was sort of half-heartedly. And just like, get out. Too fast.

And was like whirling me around. I was like, absolutely not. It's like when you're a little kid and you're spewing and you're like, man, I've been sick. Man, I'm going to be sick again. Well, don't be sick in here. Get back to the toilet. Anyway, but I do feel well looked after today. I got here and Jared got me a bowl. It was

see-through, so we were a bit nervous that I would spew into it and you guys just had a... But you were fine. I was fine. Good work. I feel like absolute garbage, but I'm just relieved I didn't spewk. Spewk? Yeah. Because you're more like... Oh, yeah, because last night, Hayley and I, we got nice catering, and have you been paying

attention? Oh, my goodness. Oh, okay. Lately, it's all just been like soggy pita pits and stuff, because they order them at like lunchtime, and then we donate till like 4 4.30 and they're just all sogged up. Yeah. And so last night there was like nice catering. You know why?

Hayley and I just stood there absolutely wolfing. You know why? Because the top twins were there. They don't do soggy pitas. No, they don't do a soggy pita. You wouldn't dare give the dames, Jules and dames, Dame Linda a soggy pita. No.

We put our all that, you know. It was salmon. Have you checked to see if the top twins have been vomiting today? I dare not text them. Imagine if you've poisoned the top twins. It would be a light poisoning, though, because I've sort of come right and it hasn't come out, and it's only coming out top, so we're okay. Okay.

And the top twins might not have also binge-drinked the entire weekend. Oh, yeah, that's true. Guilty. ZM. Headilty. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Oh, I need to see the video now of that Mars helicopter. The little drone. It's really tiny.

It's like a drone size. Yeah. Yeah, it's all faked anyway. Yeah, you can see the hinges of the green screen. Yeah. The lighting's no good. No, that will, yeah, that's phenomenal. I can't wait to move there.

To Mars. Yeah. When are you expecting that to happen? Oh, hopefully by the time I'm 40. The fluctuating heat, eh? Oh, here you go. What do you go? Is this the video?

The loading up a little video. Where'd it go? It was airborne for less than a minute. This is great on the radio, isn't it? Does it recharge? Does it have solar? Solar batteries? Yeah, I believe it does.

Right. I think the idea was just to get it off the ground to say they could. Did they land it? And then can they drive the machine over to that to recharge it, can they? Because God imagine if it landed and it was out of batteries and the machine's like, well, you've got to land on me to charge.

Yeah. What a horrible conundrum. How exciting, though. Yeah. Okay, great. Well, here we are living in the future. Back on Earth with Corona everywhere. That's what I mean.

Let's just up and leave. Leave Earth behind. We'll just take all our troubles with us, won't we? God, that's a miserable attitude. Fresh starts, eh? Yeah. Fresh starts on new planets. Here's to fresh starts.

Yeah, here's to not making a mess of that one as well. Coming up on the show, the top six. Matthew McConaughey did mention that he could be interested in a move to politics. And it immediately made people think you can be the senator of Texas. Governor? Governor. Governor. What are the difference?

What's the difference? The senator represents the state at the Senate. The governor stays in the state and is like a mayor of the state. Okay, right. And then there's mayors of the cities and then there's sheriffs. Right. There should just be one.

One ruler of them all. Yes. A dictator. That's what the word is. That's what you're after. They've got a pretty solid history of just getting it done.

So I've got the top six things that Matthew McConaughey would do as Texas governor. What he stands for. I'm well versed in Matthew McConaughey's personal politics. Okay, chances you to win this morning as well. Coming up on the show 8 o'clock, add to cart. And this week

with the travel bubble open, it's all travel goodies. Like yesterday we gave away return flights to Melbourne. I know. And all kinds of goodies. So make sure you're listening from 8 this morning for the first item in our cart. And also, after 7 this morning, quarter past 7, we're going to give away a five-day multi-pass to Kadrona Alpine Resort or Treble Cone with Bluff or Stuff.

Next on the show, though, how much is this Lord of the Rings series costing? As someone that drives past the set every day and is often like, how much is this costing? Yep, I've got an answer. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast ZM. The Lord of the Rings TV series which has yet to be named

anything other than Amazon's TV series set in the Lord of the Rings universe being filmed down the road from you. Yeah, well one big part of it's been filmed at the QMU film set. They've filmed a whole lot of stuff there. QMU's a big film zone because there's just so much space out there. Yeah, they've got so many bloody shipping containers there.

Right. And they put up the big giant green screens. Yeah, there's like multiple shipping containers tall. Yeah. We watched them build. Over summer, they were kind of building village sets and stuff. And then just before they finished, they put up a wall of containers so I couldn't see at the end product.

They built like an earth wall. Yeah. They replaced all this fence line. There's been this area beside it that's just been like this shambolic mess of just like cut down pine trees for ages. Yeah.

They've cleaned all that out and put like this massive tent there. There's like tens of caravans like for stars. You know, they're like,

well, I'm off to my trailer. Yeah. And they go and they relax in their trailer. There's like 20,

30, 40 of those. Wow. Lined up and it's quite like it's all go. It's easily the trailer, there's like 20, 30, 40 of those lined up. And it's quite like, it's easily the biggest production that's been there since we've been just down the road. And it has been revealed that the budget for the first season,

Amazon's budget, is like $650 million New Zealand dollars. And that's just there, what they're putting into the first season because our government's giving a hundred million dollars isn't it

to Amazon as a rebate like a discount for the amount of jobs and income and stuff that's going to come

into our economy yeah because the flow on effect you think that's just the how much they're willing to spend on everybody that's in New Zealand for it will be spending money.

And yeah, it's good stuff. Do you reckon Jeff Bezos just got the funds out of his wallet? Is he like a giant nerd? Is he like personally invested in Lord of the Rings? Or they're just like, this is definitely worth it. I think they just want to come for Netflix. Yeah, totally. It's going to have to have so many people buying subscriptions to Amazon.

It's so expensive. That's a lot of money. Because I just Googled how much did Game of Thrones cost to make and that was averaging $15 million US dollars to produce. Yeah, that's per rep, right? So each episode of the final season, yeah. That's not as much as I thought because most of that key cast, they'll be on. Well, they were getting a million episode, weren't they? So it's got to be more than that. And that was 5

million more than season 6. Wow. So the season before it. So Game of Thrones leading up to the last like final seasons was quite cheap to make. Wow. Lord of the Rings. Isn't it when they announced that they said it was going to be one of the most expensive

shows ever made. And it would be now if it's blasting. announced it, they said it was going to be one of the most expensive TV shows ever made. Yeah, ever made, and it would be now if it's blasting. God, it better be good. Honestly, I know. I'm guessing a lot of that is like CGI though, right? Because is that quite expensive? Yeah, it would be. But just the sheer, you know,

when Peter Jackson was making those Lord of the Rings movies. So many people. Yeah. So many people, so many sets, so much costume, everything. Everything. I've got a couple of friends who are in it. I wonder if they feel the pressure of the money. Like, as you say, the budget of it,

the expectation will be so high that it's one of those things that you don't want to watch the first episode and be like, oh, bugger. When's this one going to kick off? Yeah. Yeah. So when does season one finish filming? I don't know.

They're very early on into season one. And then what? Will they go into season two or three? Or will they... Haven't they already signed off on a few seasons? Six seasons, I think they've signed up for. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Isn't that amazing? That is insane and all filmed here. Yeah, it's so amazing for lots of film practitioners, actors, hair and makeup, wardrobe. God,

Cumbie's going to be the next Hobbiton. Yeah, I was going to say great for the local short people too. That intersection by the train tracks is already too long.

Yeah, that gets quite busy. Man, that pie shop that's there that I really like. They'll be doing a... They'll be doing a roaring trade. They'll make an extension maybe. Well, I hope they put elastic belts and some of those elastic waistbands and some of those costumes.

Good pies. You get a taste of those pies. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, the travel bubble opened yesterday. I was watching these amazing videos. You see that of, like, families reconnecting, and I had a little cry. Really? I was just like, if they really loved each other that much,

they would have got two weeks quarantine. Some people couldn't or couldn't afford it. Or couldn't afford it. Couldn't afford the time off work, Vaughn. Yeah. Like, people were, like, hugging their brothers. Matty McLean hugged his brother. I haven't seen my brother for, like, two years.

I would be like, hey, man. I was the same when Matty McLean was reunited with his brother. I was like, ew. I would have been like, hey. What's up? Mate, he's freaking, I'm very close with my brother. Yeah, hey, Matty, I know Matty's very, very close with his entire family. My brother's one of my besties. Would you cry at the airport? Yeah, I'd have a cry. I'll have a cry when my brother. Yeah, hey, Maddie. I know Maddie's very, very close with his entire family. My brother's one of my besties.

Would you cry at the airport? Yeah, I'd have a cry. I'll have a cry when my brother gets here. I think some of the scenes even warmed my cold, dead heart. Your cold, dead, emotionless heart. Yeah, they were pretty amazing photos and videos from airports.

You're not even a hugger. No, I'm not a hugger. Yeah. So it was pretty emotional. We're going to work on that. Amazing scenes, though. Did you see, like, the empty duty free shops

like at Sydney Airport? Somebody like 20 users and journos were sharing some of the like just What do you mean people have cleared it out?

All the fancy stores yeah they just weren't open. Oh I think the Kiwis that arrived and just been like yeah all of it. Three for 99 how about 99 for three?

All of the Louis Vuitton handbags. No just like they've obviously just like packed up. Yeah well they've been you know. How about 99 for three? All of the Louis Vuitton handbags. They've obviously just like packed up. Yeah, well, they've been, you know. I wonder how long the likes of that sort of industry will take to bounce back once international travel. It'll be a long time, eh? Before airports are as hustle bustle as they were.

Because they were jammer shops. You know how everything at an airport costs five times the amount. Imagine what they're going to have to do to clamber back their money now. Eight times, ten times. Well, people arriving in Melbourne yesterday were greeted to an absolute scene. They were. And this follows on from last week. Do you remember the warship arriving and the twerkers?

Yeah. Yeah, well, this is another cringy Australian dance. I don't know what it is. It looks like something out of Summer Heights High. Are you talking about the beach? The beach ball dance? Yes. So there were people dressed in like black moth suits

and black masks and they were doing an interpretive dance with bubbles, with giant plastic balls. Yeah, like see-through beach balls. It's very stage challenge. Yeah. What is it now? It's show quest. Very show quest. But see, that's insulting to

show questers. I think it's worse than that. No, this would have been a Morrinsville College show quest hardcore. This would have been my school's like, absolutely. And next up doing their dance to celebrate the travel bubble for show questers, Morrinsville College. And then we would have walked out and been like,

do I want to be here? It'll be Enya. Who can say where I'm going? Because in New Zealand, like I think in Wellington and Auckland, we had a traditional Maori welcome. We had a Pōheri, there were Haka, there were Waiata. And then we get to Australia and they're like,

well, we too have a welcome. It's not from the Aboriginal culture. No, really? Who's going to do it? The Wollobong High School theatre class. Oh, cool, man. And they did it, what shop were they in front of? Currency Exchange.

I was going to say, it was going to say Bureau Indos Exchange. The most cultural thing in that is the French spelling of International Currency Exchange. Bureau the Exchange. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. ZM. From the vulnerable ZM think tank, this is the top six. Matthew McConaughey for Texas Governor. Well, 45% of people polled in the Lone Star State would vote for him

compared to the current 33% for Governor Greg Abbott. He's quite liberal. Yeah. But is he a bit in the middle? That's all that matters with your politicians, is it? I reckon it's just all the ladies getting in there. Right. He's an absolute Texas work of art.

He is a good-looking man. He is, and he's a lovely guy as well. Every time we hear him speak or we hear people talk about working with him, they just talk about how... We interviewed him. ...blooming lovely. Did you?

We Zoomed with him. We were Zooming with him. We were Zooming with his book about green lights, and he was just like... he had your full attention. Yeah. No, you had his full attention. Like he was super attentive. Like he wasn't like.

Like I'm a celebrity and I've done 20 of these today. Yeah. Not like that. He talked about, remember that him and I had a real spiritual connection over a prime rib. We talked meat, cooking like the ultimate meat. He's got his own, like,

cover, like, rub, and, oh yeah, just the whole thing. So Vorton's in love with Matthew McConaughey, basically.

More than ever. I mean, he really, when you look at him, and you listen to him, and you hear about his barbecuing, and even just the way he talks, he's a good representative

of a good Texas man. Yeah. But what are his politics? He's a, I think he's more man. Yeah. But what are his politics? I think he's more to the right, though, isn't he? Is he? Mind you, Texas rights, very right. Yeah. I always thought he was a bit more...

Texas is a 90-degree side. No, he's a Democrat. He's far more on the Democrat side of things. Oh, that's good. Okay. Yeah. So, what does he stand for? Well, I've actually got six points. Okay. Yeah. So what does he stand for? Well, I've actually got six points.

The top six things Matthew McConaughey would do as Texas governor. Okay. Number six on the list, he would stop the alt-right, alt-right, alt-right. He's got no time for that extreme, you know, Trump supporter base. Yep. And he wants to stop them in their tracks. There would be, I would have so much respect

if stop the all right, all right, all right was his slogan. Stop them and get them done. Number five on the list of the top six things Matthew McConaughey would do as Texas governor. If he had a small, if he had a disagreement with another politician, he won't be afraid to in public have a small fart, small fart, small fart.

He'll get it done if he needs to get it done. I mean, you can see where this is going, right? I can absolutely see the thing, but I'm happy about it. The rest of the four are going to happen. Our number four on the list of the top six things Matthew McConaughey would stand for as Texas governor. He realises that sometimes you have to increase urban density, not urban sprawl.

And that means in terms of buildings he's all for tall hut, tall hut, tall hut. Go up, not out. Urban density. And number three on the list of the top six things Matthew McConaughey would do as Texas governor. If he has

his way, he wants to reinstall the Texas Guard. Which he has his way, he wants to reinstall the Texas Guard. Yeah. Which is an old-fashioned thing. Mostly traditional. Not like they don't do too much. It's not like that freaking people walking around

with assault rifles and stuff. Far more traditional. It involves someone in full medieval armor standing atop a dividing device. Okay. That person who stands atop the dividing device in the armour is called a walnut, walnut, walnut.

Okay, good. It was a long ride, but, you know. It's the journey. We got there. Yeah. It's the journey, not the destination. It is. Number two on the list of the top six things Matthew McConaughey

would do as Texas governor. When he meets governors from other states who want to take advantage of Texas and it's something not to his liking, he'll say them out. He'll call them out for it. He'll say, yo, shit, yo, shit, yo, shit. And number one on the list of the top six things, Matthew McConaughey will stand for as Texas governor.

He won't be afraid to be the best Texas governor since everybody asks his favourite Texas governor. Okay. Who was the last Texas governor? Well, it wasn't the last Texas governor. He wasn't the favourite. If you go back in history a little bit, you'll find a Texas governor called Paul Dwight.

Paul Dwight. Paul Dwight. We got there. That's it. Well done, Fawn. That's today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, people are being warned that if they go to Australia

and there's an outbreak and you're stranded there, you might end up losing your job. Yeah, because Jacinda said the bubble comes with some conditions. One of them being it's your choice. Anything can change at any moment. And if you get stuck over there, there won't be any kind of financial compensation. So I guess it depends how much your job likes you, how valuable you are. Or if, I don't know, they're sick either.

Let's get rid of you. If they were looking for a reason. Thank God. Here we go. So this is in the news because Vodafone employees were, this is in an internal forum, so I'm guessing their intranet or whatever, they must have like a homepage,

and they will all send a message saying that it's strongly recommended that any employee planning an overseas trip discusses it with their people leader before booking flights. People leader. Not a team leader, a people leader. And then it says, Employees should also understand that if they're prevented from returning to New Zealand and their homework for an extended period beyond their original leave dates,

their employment may be terminated. Wow. I'm somewhat of a leader of people. You're not. Do you think you're the leader of this group? I'm definitely a people leader. Leaders don't turn up last to work. No, they do.

I feel much more led in this direction towards people. No, he's it. Thank you. He's the button pusher guy. I'm the leader of people. I'm like Alpha Wolf. Right, okay. But I'm also about giving you guys the freedoms

until you don't deserve them anymore. Right, so would you fire us if we got stuck in Australia? I wouldn't let you go. You wouldn't? I care too much. So a Victoria University Wellington law professor, he said that companies might be able to dismiss employees if they do get stuck,

but the courts or the Employment Relations Authority would likely set the bar. So it would have to go, there'll have to be someone that takes their employee to court if they're fired, if they get stuck,

and then that would be the precedent, I'm assuming. Right. There kind of needs to be a, yeah, like a standard that like black and white that says this is what the rules are, the law is.

Well, another, he uses an example. You wouldn't fire someone. Say you went climbing Mount Cook and you broke your leg and you were off work for three or four weeks. Yeah. You wouldn't be fired for that. Well, no, because I was being heroic. I was conquering a mountain. You were on your holiday time.

Yes. And now you can't work. Right. And so. But that's ACC. That would be ACC. Because I had an accident. Yeah.

And that's what the A in ACC stands for. Accident. Compensation. Cookies. Cookies. Like cookies. Yeah, it's cookies. It's definitely the last C is cookies.

Because they'd need to chuck a T in there. Yeah, but I'd say you need to, if you are going to do the bubble thing, check with your boss. Because then if they say it's okay, you get that right in there. They can't even around.

Get that right in there. And if you're taking a laptop and you can work from, if you've worked in the pandemic last year, Remotely. Remotely, you can probably,

you'll probably be able to stay for a couple of weeks if you've got a place. I would go if you're like a vital part of the company. If you are irreplaceable, maybe don't go. Maybe just wait a little bit longer. If you're replaceable, yeah.

I think everyone is replaceable. That's not the attitude. Not you, Fletch. Thank you. We'd be lost without you. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

We were just having a little dance to that. And me and Fletch were having a flex that we could feel our muscles from our workout yesterday. Oh, yeah. Tell me more. Tell you what? What did you guys do? I'm getting sick of our gym stories.

Oh, you won't be sick of it. If you ever saw Fletch on the battle ropes. I've seen Fletch on a battle rope. He was giving it a go. It's that wrist dexterity. He's just solid wrists. You would have been a wonderful Roman gladiator just... Thank you.

Whooping the horses on the chariot. Yeah, right. Okay, thank you. Just watch, watch, watch. Tell you what. On the battle ropes. Arousing, isn't it? Got me tickling a little bit.

Yeah. I did. Beast. We were supposed to be... We did this partner workout. We were supposed to be like, while one of us was working out, the other one was supposed to be yelling encouragement. I was just watching him.

No. I'm confused. Do it. Oh, my God. A new world. A new world. No, not yet. A new word is being cancelled, being taken off the acceptable list

and added to the list of no longer use this term anymore. It's the word mistress. As in someone has an affair and like say a guy in the office, he's got a mistress. Indeed. But he's also got a wife. So the Webster Dictionary definition is woman other than his wife with whom a married man has a continuing

sexual relationship. Okay. AP Stylebook, who are one of the leading guides for writing, has said that mistress sort of implies that she, the mistress,

is solely responsible for the affair. It puts all of the onus onto the woman. Like she's the one doing the bad thing. Yes, because he's in the relationship and she's his side piece, so to speak. The woman did want more, didn't they? So give them that one. I can have that one.

You can suck it. You can utterly suck it. So the AP Style books say, don't use the term mistress for a woman who's in a long-term sexual relationship with and is financially supported by a man who is married to someone else. Right.

Instead, use an alternative like companion, friend, or lover on first reference. Secret lover. See, I'd say secret lover more than I'd say mistress. Yeah, secret lover. And you're keeping it secret lover. Sometimes I introduce, because I hate the word fiance, so I introduce my fiance Aaron as my lover.

Oh, okay, yeah, right. This is my lover. What about partner? I'm over partner because everyone who's been in a relationship for longer than like two months is like, this is my partner. I'm like, you have not been through the battlefield. You've not been, this is a boyfriend or a girlfriend. You've not done enough to earn the P word.

You haven't. So people immediately jumped on Twitter and were like, what? We can't use mistress anymore. They were saying, I always opt for the traditional home wrecker. We recommend you go with side piece or bit of ass on the side. But then isn't a home wrecker worse? To call the woman the home wrecker.

Because the dude wrecked his own home. He wrecked his own home. It takes two to tango. It takes two to tango. Home wrecker should be cancelled before mistress in my book. Exactly. This is totally, I'm on board. This is, they're suggesting we find a phrase,

some phrasing that acknowledges both parties in the relationship. Naughty. So you could say things like the two of them were romantically involved. The canoodlers. Canoodlers, I like that one. So no more mistress. I don't know if you held it off and you throw it around. Adulterers.

Lovers. Anything but not mistress. But lovers, home wrecking. Lovers doesn't cover the bad part of it. No. Adulterers, that sounds bad. What about cuckold? Because that's the ye olde English term, right?

So if I am your wife and I get with you, Fletch, I've made a cuckold out of you. Of me. And it's about cuckoos. The origins of it are cuckoos because, you know, cuckoos steal other birds' nests. a shakespearean yeah or they will put like their egg in the nest with another bird and that bird right be like well this is a bit of a different egg but i'm here now i might have come out of my cloaca yeah and then they hatch the bird and then the cuckoo baby's like, surprise! Pick, pick, pick, pick, pick. Pick, pick, pick, pick, pick.

Yeah. So it's all linked back to cuckoo. Ruthless, isn't it? There you go. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Whakaronga mai, vegetarians. Particularly the male variety of vegetarians and particularly vegetarians that focus on your fruits, your legumes, your grains.

There's a new study that is looking at the effects of vegetarianism on testosterone and therefore libido. Right. Because it's looking at a lot of vegetarian diets are really low in fat, not just protein. We spend a lot of time being like, well, vegetarians, we get protein, man. We get gains. We spend a lot of time being like, oh, vegetarians, we need protein, man.

We need gains. Iron, man. Where's your iron, man? And then you see those ripped MMA fighters that are vegetarians. You're like, okay, what can be done? Oh, yeah, they're finding it somewhere.

Yeah. Yeah. But they're saying that a lot of vegetarian diets focus on fruits, veggies, whole grains, legumes.

Yeah. Rich in fibre foods, but foods that are quite low in fat and high-fat diets. And I know a lot about this. I'm a keto girl from way back. But low-fat diets can lead to significant decrease in your sex hormones, which means your libido will go, And then your willy will go... As well at the same time.

You won't have a lot of... If you've got a whistling willy, you've got to be... Libido. If it's whistling, it sounds like there's a hole in it. Yeah. Have you ever had your testosterone levels checked? How do you do that? Blood test.

Oh, no. I don't believe so. I have. Mine are sky high. Really? Yeah. Because I don't believe so. I have. Mine are sky high. Really? Yeah. Because I've got PCOS. Right.

So it's all, your insulin turns into more testosterone and it goes crazy. Right. So, I don't have an issue with libido is what I'm trying to say. You do.

I don't want to say it. I need a lot of meat. But yeah, they're just saying it's a warning. Something they're seeing increasingly in male vegetarians is that they're just not adding enough fat to their diet because you can't eat your cheeses, your dairy, your creams, your milk.

No, you're tipped down into vegan territory, aren't you? Aren't vegetarians all right with products of animals as long as it's not the flesh? I don't know why. Maybe it is just because without meat, they're just missing the fat. If I was a vegetarian, I'd be puffy because of bread. Puffy. Bread and cheese.

Yeah, true. I am speaking about veganism. But this is particularly looking at vegetarians. So it must just be when vegetarians are predominantly basing their diets on veggies. Right. And not getting enough of the oils from like avos and nuts and dairy. Yeah, right. Get your nuts to get your nuts feeling happier.

Do you know any horny vegetarians? Yep. Yep. Really? So I think, I don't know, maybe they get good fats somewhere. I don't know. Maybe they're not only a part of this limited fat lot. Horny vegetarians.

They've got no testosterone issues. Do you know any horny? I don't know. What a question. I don't know many vegetarians. I don't think a lot of vegetarians walk around being like. They've never struck me as like horny. Don't eat meat.

It's cruel. What are you doing after the process? Flesh, faughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Bluff or stuff. Snowline edition. Well, it's time to play Bluff or Stuff.

Every day this week, we have a five-day multi-pass to Kadrona Alpine Resort or Treble Cone to give away. You can be the first to ride a new chairlift and explore the willows terrain in Soho at Kadrona. Yep, five-day multi-pass so you can get down for a lovely western to Nwanaka. Rebecca, good morning. Good morning. All right, welcome to Bluff or Stuff.

Now, one of us, Rebecca, is wearing a pair of Oakley goggles. Oh. Yeah, now their wands are the terrible colour. Are you kidding me? I personally wouldn't have picked these goggles. I'm wearing them, but I love what it does with the light. Yeah, I see how it deflects the sun because I'm wearing them and the studio lights are being softened.

Now, Rebecca, Bluffelstaff, we are all obviously wearing these glasses. Well, we're telling you that we're wearing these goggles. Only one of us actually is. You've got to work out who actually is wearing them to win the five-day multi-pass. What? Okay. Hayley, do you want to go first?

Yeah, I'll go first. I do want to talk about what I'm seeing because I'm not much of a skier. I say not much. I've never skied in my life. I've had one skiing lesson. Right.

And I thought every time I see these kind of goggles that they'd be super dark because you can't see into them. But I thought every time I see these kind of goggles, that they'd be super dark because you can't see into them. But I can see out of them absolutely fine. It just, everything looks kind of tanned. You look like you've got a really good tan Vaughan. Yeah, well thank you.

You've got a small head though. They're kind of tight on my head. I've got a big head. I might have tightened them when I took them off because last time I wore them they were over a helmet as well because you should always wear a helmet. Oh, right. You should always wear a helmet while you're snowboarding.

What's this bit made of? That's your computer. Why are you tapping your computer screen? Are you trying to make it sound like you're wearing the glasses? You absolute liars. Listen to me. I'm tapping my glasses. The goggles, look.

It sounds like an iPhone to me. Good'm tapping my glasses. The goggles, look. That is clearly an iPhone to me. Good plastic. Good plastic. Oh, yeah. Okay, now who's tapping their iPhone? Not me. You don't break your iPhone again. You've already broken it once on here.

I'm tapping the goggles because I'm wearing the goggles. Oh, my God. The coffee. I just had a sip of coffee and it steamed the goggles at the front. Ha! You know Fletch isn't wearing them because they're anti-fog. Ha ha! No, they're a little bit steamy.

I've had a bit of steam on mine. You are both not wearing them because if you did do that, they're anti-fog. Rebecca, I'd like you now to eliminate one of us. Who definitely isn't wearing the goggles? Fletch. Correct. You're down to the final two.

I'm a terrible liar. I can't lie. This is why I don't lie. I'm always truthful. Have you got any questions about the goggles for Hayley and I, Rebecca? Rebecca, are you sure?

Listen, that's me tapping the goggles. No, we know we've established that you're out. Fletch is not wearing them. Definitely not wearing the goggles. Hay, you're eliminated. We know we've established that you're out. Fletch is not wearing that. Definitely not wearing the goggles. Hayley, what colour are the lenses? They're like a... Hang on, I'm just going to take them off.

They're like a... What do you call it? Like an opally kind of shiny, bronzy... It's got all the colours and the rainbow in it. You know, what's that thing? Like the lens. like, the lens? Yeah, reflective lens. You know when you look at a bubble and it's a reflective lens and it's got all the colours of the rainbow in it.

Like, what colour do I look to you now? Hang on, I'm going to put them back on. Well, no, because, yeah, I think Rebecca's question was regarding the outside of the lens. Hayley already described the inside of the lens. Oh, I've just taken them off. I forgot what a bright studio we've got. Very white desk that's the thing it it nulls the white rebecca because that's snow goggles you see yeah yeah it makes everything look kind of tanned rebecca who is

wearing the goggles i think it's you vaughn! Yes! Five-day multi-pass to Kadrona or Triple Cone. Both are pretty fun ski fields. Kia once stole my hot dog at Triple Cone. Reliable snow, fewer closed days, more fun on the slopes. You can ski your heart out from only $75 a day. Sail in April 30. Rebecca, we've got that five-day pass for you. Well done. I'm just... Thank you. Sale ends April 30. Rebecca, we've got that five-day pass for you. Well done.

I'm just... Thank you. Oh, my God. Nice. It's my acting degree. That's not on you. Don't worry. I'm just a very good actor.

I'm insulted that you guys don't like these goggles. Oh, they're hideous. Are you kidding me? It's the Tokyo... They're horrendous. The designer on the outside says it's the Tokyo subway map. Oh, we can see. And it is tacky.

I am. They're so tacky. I am wildly in love. Get new goggles, please, before you hit the slopes. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So the Neighbour Saga continues. If you've been listening, you know that I moved within the last few months. I've had a bit of an issue with the neighbours across the road.

Before you moved, you also had issues with your neighbours. Yeah, well, I lived next to students. Yeah. And they peed in my car vent. So, yeah. Yeah, I had some issues. The common denominator for those listening is Hayley. No, the common denominator is dumb people listening to loud music.

Yeah. Okay, yeah. Dummy, dummy dudes. So, yeah, the neighbours across the street from me, they park up their boy racer cars. They like to give them a bit of a rev, that real crackly rev last night. They just put a little some fireworks.

That was fun. Okay. And they like to, yeah, park up their boy racers in the driveway, turn the music on so they can hear it in the house and they go inside. And I tell you what, that bass, oh boy, it makes the windows rattle.

It actually makes your windows rattle. It actually makes your windows rattle. And it makes my brain rattle. I've got sensitive ears. I'm a sensitive wee gal. Right. Anyway, so I was having a moan about it. And because the other day, one of the guys asked you if you wanted to go. Yeah, ask me before I have a go. When you told him to turn it off. I know. So yeah, we've got a bit of tension happening there. And I was just like, oh my

God, this is hell on earth. Yeah. And I was driving home quite late the other night. And I drove and I saw they've put up a new white fence. They've been doing it slowly. And I thought, oh, okay, that's interesting. And then I drove past it. And it's just as I was turning into my driveway, I saw it.

A Barfoot and Thompson sign. On the fence. Hello, it's for sale. That house is for sale. They are moving. And I squealed with delight and I instantly got on my phone and I sent you guys a message,

absolutely screaming, so excited. I was like, this is the best outcome. Take it somewhere else. So that hit me on a real high. Yeah. And then I thought, you know what? Just out of curiosity, because I really don't like them,

I'm going to have a little nosy at their house. Well, just so you can kind of suss their floor plans in case you ever need to go in there. In case they ever need it. Yeah, if they want to have a go and I can run into their house, I'll know where to go because I'll see the floor plan. So I went on the Barfoot and Thompson website. Absolutely delighted.

Then I thought, what better move than to buy it? I don't have any money, but it's all right. Like cripple yourself with a huge mortgage debt. To be like, ha! Move. My house. Yeah. Anyway, so I went on the Barfoot and Thompson website

and I put in the street that we live on and one house popped up and it's the house behind theirs. So rather than their house being sold and then having to move, the people behind them gave up and were like I can't live beside that anymore. We're selling.

So your neighbours have had enough too. They, and I tell you what, it's a nice house. I wouldn't be moving. You're not going to be able, you can't get back in. The market's gone crazy. What are you doing, guys? But now I totally understand. They've just had enough.

They're like, they're out. Yeah, so they're not selling. I guess they've just used their front fence because they're on a split section. Right. The ones, this one is an A. Oh, right, and they're a B. Yeah, right.

Okay. I can't tell you. I wept. Have you thought about talking to their landlord? I don't know. I don't know if it is landlord or if they own it. I don't want to be that person coming home and being like, who's your landlord?

I'm already that person. I feel like you're already that person. You're two weeks away from that person. Yeah, you're not far away from being that person Do you think they look at me and think like She's 31 She absolutely needs to calm down Probably

How would you have reacted if you were their age And a 31 year old neighbour was coming over Yeah I would have asked them if they wanted to have a go So I mean I wish I could say the street So that I could warn you to not buy this house. Yeah, right. But you don't want to give away your... I don't want people coming over to my house.

So, just don't buy it. I wonder what the open home will be like. Like, do you think they'll say to them, hey, we're going to open up this weekend. Can you just turn down the doof-doof? Maybe I'll go to the open home for the behind house and be like, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. Yeah, don't buy this house. And then I'll buy it for real cheap because I'll be the only buyer.

And then you go to my both sides. And then I'll bowl it and I'll start constructing just anything. Also good to know their floor plans as well. Always good to know your neighbour's floor plans. Always good to know our floor plans. Oh, I always have a nosy around an open home in the neighbourhood. So does Vaughan. What is wrong with you guys?

No, you try and pass these houses all the time. You're like, what does that look like on the inside? Curiosity. 100%. God, if I lived in your apartment building, any time there was an open home, I'd be in there. Why? Oh, is this different to mine?

Is it better than mine? Is it smaller than mine? What have they done with the area? Oh, my God, what if this is bigger than mine? I don't want to have a smaller one. You should get the bigger one. We should buy it. That's why you get open homes.

Nosey, the lot of you all right keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier as it heralds new podcast the front page is your short sharp daily news podcast join me damian venuto every weekday morning as i chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Should I feel guilty? Should I? Where's? Where's my? Where's your ga I? Where's my? Where's your gavel? Where's my gavel?

You hit it. I hit it. Oh, it's over there on the chair. You've left it on the chair, Bourne. I can't be leaving my gavel places. People won't take me seriously. Order in the court. Order.

Sorry. Order. Order. Order. Order up. Is this a diner or a courtroom? All right. So I received this anonymous message to our Facebook page. Hey, guys.

That's how most of them start. Yep, I find. I'm in a super awkward situation at work that I need your help with. After COVID, our workers stopped paying for anything outside of our wages. So that's like birthdays or special events.

Friday drinks. Friday drinks. Hiring the whole of Rambo's End so it's just your workplace. Yeah. Imagine that. That'd be pretty cool.

That'd be awesome. Pretty sweet. Why don't they do that here? Can we do that? Can we have a little rainbow's intro? And if the kids aren't there,

we can drive those little kid cars around the... Yeah! They'll be like, you're too big. I'll be like, shut your mouth, man. I have to drive with my hands

on the accelerator and one on the thing because I'm too big. My legs are hanging out the side. They'll get crushed in between another car and then I'll cry and then all the fun and games

will be over. And I was warned. Yeah. So they've stopped paying for birthdays, special events, but there's one guy in our office that sends around his account details and expects us all to chip in for flowers, hampers or presents for occasions. I've casually asked a few of my workmates if they're fine with it and they said they don't, like, have a problem with it.

It doesn't sound like they love it, but they're not going to, you know, cause a fuss about it. It just seems sound like they love it, but they're not going to, you know, cause a fuss about it. It just seems to be me so far that has the problem. We're being asked to spend $20 a time. $20 a time? They don't even work in this workplace. That's too much money. Yeah. $20 a time, which all adds up, and an email came around last

week about a workmate. She's pregnant with baby number three. I don't even like her. Oh, baby three. You don't get gifts for three. She's taking the piss now with baby number three. I don't even like her. Oh, baby three. You don't get gifts for three. She's taking the piss now. Baby number three, I don't even like her. We've never gotten on and I really don't want to contribute. Is it rude if I politely decline? How do I deal with this awkward situation?

Oh, it is awkward. Especially if everyone else has jumped in on their deposit. Yeah, and then on the card, what do they say? Like, hey, congratulations on the baby. Love from everyone except Sarah. Belinda. Yeah.

Yeah. Because that's the other. Everybody signs it everywhere and Belinda doesn't put a name on it. And when the little presentation ceremony is going on, Belinda goes to the bathroom. Just pops in the bakery. Yeah. Doesn't work. The other thing, you just buy whatever you can get from whatever people give.

Like you just say, look, things having a baby or a birthday, if you can, give what you can. And then whatever we get, we'll buy something with that. So if it's only $30, $40, you just get something worth that. I agree. Because I think there's too much pressure on people. You know, $20 might be great for someone, but for someone else, that's, you know, a couple of meals, a couple of... Yeah, totally. Well, and especially if three people are having a birthday in like two weeks or something, that could's, you know, a couple of meals, a couple of... Yeah, totally. And especially if three people are having a birthday

in like two weeks or something, that could be, you know, your whole pay. And who's this guy organising it? Is he chipping in or has he been like, yeah, I put money in, but he didn't mind that I put money in. It's like the person charged with the flat account. Trust no one. I think if work's not going to pay for a cake for your birthday,

then don't do it. Unless they're close enough to be in your friend circle that you'd want to spend money on them. What are they going to say? They can't just be like, well, you have to. Like, no, it doesn't work for me. Yeah, but then you could be the,

you could be outcast in the office. And I reckon in a workplace like that, people would be like, Hayley didn't put in. Yeah. Hey, by the way, Hayley didn't put in. Hayley didn't contribute.

Unless you maybe made a thing like, you're like, I'm saving for a house deposit Or I'm saving for this Yeah And I'm just You know I'm really tight with money

At the moment Then I'd understand If someone said that Nah because then If you go and get a coffee They're like Yes That judgment

They'll be watching you Yeah Or they see you've got Someone from the vending machine A guy's like I'm a few bucks short On rent this week I was like

Well that's not my problem You've still got to chip in. He's like, oh, it's going to be a couple of days late. But we had some money in the flat account for power. I was like, well, this isn't acceptable. He came home two days later with a new sword. And that's one of the 5,000 reasons I do not miss flatting for one second of my life. A sword.

A sword. Like a role play sword. A decorative sword. It was a heavy metal sword. Like a role play sword. A decorative sword. It was a heavy metal sword. Don't get me wrong, I had a swing around with it. It was fun, but he shouldn't have purchased it

if the finances were in a bit of a disarray. Not if he was behind on rent. No. A sword. So 0800 DARS at him. We want to take your calls now. Maybe you've been in this situation. I don't know.

Did you have a way of getting out of it or not? You can text in 9696. Should they feel guilty? That they do not want to contribute to everybody at work's little gifts. We're talking about, it's our segment, should I feel guilty? Someone's like sick of chipping in for every little thing that's happened around the office. Since COVID, their office isn't buying birthday cakes or little gifts for events.

And asking everyone to chip in. She's sick of it. She doesn't want to chip in. The straw that broke the camel's back is that someone she doesn't even really get on with in the office is having their third child. This doesn't even sound like, because apparently she's just announced it. I read back this email, she's said she's having her third child. So it's not

like she's just about to go on maternity leave. It sounds like she wants a gift for even the conception. The announcement. And then her last day, and then a gift for the baby. We're not going to reward breeding. Absolutely not. So I didn't get anything when I got a cat. No.

No leave. No nothing. Paternity leave. I was aiming for paternity leave. Paternity. Paternity leave. This text is very simple. I would give them nothing.

Give them absolutely nothing. I would give them absolutely nothing. Tash, what do you think? Should she feel guilty? Definitely not. Why do you think that? So we at our old workplace used to put an envelope around and you could put in what you wanted to.

If you liked them, you could put $20 in. If you didn't so much, $5. Or you could just not put anything in at all. Was it kind of like church though, you know, where the donation basket's going around and you see some people giving in $20 and then you see someone put in a $0.50 coin and everyone's like, hmm, okay.

Not really, to be honest. No one really saw the envelope and then it was always just, you know, it would either bake or something if it was an occasion and then the gift would be given. But there was no card with names or anything. That's a good idea. It can kind of be anonymous.

Yeah, it can be anonymous. So you just leave like a collection bucket in the kitchen or something. Although there's always that one guy in the office who could steal it. But it also gives you the freedom, if you don't like them, to not put anything in it. Yeah, good idea. I like this idea that if the bucket's lying around, I could borrow a fiver.

Yeah, and IOU. Put an IOU in there. For the vending machine. Yeah. Yeah, all right, well, keep your calls, your texts coming in. 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. Should she feel guilty about not contributing to a gift for a workmate? Should I feel guilty?

A message that we have received to our Facebook page. It's an office predicament today for should I feel guilty? Yeah. Someone doesn't want to chip in for gifts. They used to just be taken care of by their workplace. But since COVID, a lot of places are tightening their old belt. Someone's taken it upon themselves to now do a collection amongst the employees,

which seems weird, as though the company's been recognised as a place that needs to tighten its belt, yet the employees are now burdened with it. And she wants to opt out. She doesn't want to receive gifts. She doesn't want to have to pay for everybody else's. Michael, should she feel guilty?

Absolutely not, mate. That's fair enough that she doesn't want to have to contribute, especially since she's not on good terms, you know? Yeah, I agree. Maybe if it was someone you actually liked, you'd be like, fine, I'll forgo a coffee or two. Yeah, absolutely. I've done that in the workplace, you know,

someone you're close to, sure. And is this woman just having children for the office gifts? Yeah, I think she is. I'm starting to wonder. I'm starting to wonder. But are you worried about being called a tight ass in the office, Michael? Are people like, oh, Michael won't chip in? Oh, nah.

I've been called that before. I'm like, yeah, go for it. Just means that you're not on my good list. Yeah, you'll be the one laughing when you buy a house and they're still renting. Michael, thanks for your call. I'll tell you why I did that. Yeah, there you go.

There you go. Thanks for your call, Michael. Megan, what do you think? Does she feel guilty about not wanting to chip in? No, definitely not. At my workplace, all we do is the managers get a card and then they send it around to everybody who signed the card and then we give them the card.

I got engaged recently and all they did for me was just give me a card but then a couple of people who I was close to actually gave me a nice gift. So I think it's just a card is easy to pay for with the company. It's like $10 for a big

old one. I'd rather no card. No card. I'd rather have the cash equivalent of a card is easy to pay for with the company. It's like 10 bucks for a big old one. I'd rather no card. No card. I'd rather have the cash equivalent of a card. No, because then you just have it and then you've got to chuck it out. It always makes you feel bad. Yeah, true. But I like that.

Then if you don't want to put it in, you don't have to. No, definitely. Okay, all right. Megan, thanks. You're cool. Shelly, should she feel bad? No, she definitely should not feel bad,

especially if she doesn't like the person. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. She could put in a gesture of 20 cents just to make the person know, you know, I don't like you at all. Yeah.

Yeah, we have quite a big workplace. So we have a birthday buddy, and so you opt into the birthday buddy system if you want to. And so you get given that one person for the year. So it's like you get your assigned secret Santa, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's awesome. Sometimes you get a really beautiful gift, and other times maybe not quite so beautiful.

Yeah. But it's always a really nice thought. I'd want my birthday buddy to be in upper management because it pays better. Yeah, absolutely. The gifts would be better I'd imagine. But is the birthday buddy secret or like secret Santa? No, you only know your birthday buddy on your

birthday. So do you get a different birthday buddy next year? Yeah, you get a different one every year. Which is quite cool. That's a good idea. Great, Shelley, thanks. You call some every year. Yeah, okay. Which is quite cool. That's a good idea. Okay, yeah, great. Shelly, thanks. You call some text messages.

Somebody messaged in saying they do this, except it's always like bring a plate. Oh, yeah. And they have a bit of a shared morning tea. Yeah. And there's one person who never brings anything, but it's always front of the line to get into the good food. I'd be absolutely calling that person out.

Oh, no, you can't do that. It's like someone who turns up to a potluck with a $3 pull-apart bread and you're like, I stewed this for four hours. I've done that at a potluck. I've just brought a pav that I brought from the supermarket.

Is that the same? Did you cream it? Did you put food on top? Did you add a chocolate flake? I bought one of those cans of cream. But I told everybody that I made it. It was just from New World.

You can tell a store-bought pav from a homemade pav. No, not this one. It's too perfect. Yeah, no, they're too eggy. Well, they're not store-bought pavs. Yeah, they're so... I like mine more meringue-y. Meringue-y?

I like mine a bit meringue-y. Yeah, we love a bit meringue-y. Last night, we were just all trying to go about our business. You know? We spend enough time together as it is. And the group chat dinged off. And Jared shared a photo of what he was making for dinner. Now, we have talked about this before a little bit,

and I've never seen it. But he sent a photo of his dinner, which is a pizza base. Homemade? Homemade? God, no. Okay, so we're off to a start. There we go.

Is that tomato paste or pizza base? Yeah, tomato paste. Okay, so just, again, it's more of an ingredient than a base, but that's all right. Then we've got some, I see some chaise, maybe some other stuff happening, but that's all right. Then we've got some, I see some chayes, maybe some other stuff happening, but it's insignificant.

So what is on top is a dense layer of spinach. And it's not for me, but I've got no issue with spinach on a pizza. And this is spinach leaves that aren't pre-wilted or... No, no, no, no, they are just... They're wilted up in the oven. Honestly, we'll have half a bag of them on there as well. Yeah, but I know, but you know the old spinach,

when it wilts, it's like, hey, half of us are taking off. Yeah, yeah, honestly. Half a bag of them on there as well. Yeah, but I know, but you know the old spinach, when it wilts, it's like, hey, half of us are taking off. Yeah, yeah, honestly. Half of us have evaporated. And then on top, you know, a lot of sliced, and you'd think salami, you'd think onion, you'd think anything else, but sliced, ripe banana. Oh, yeah. Now, there is a photo of this on our Instagram page, FEMZM. If you're feeling queasy, don't look at it.

Yeah. Is there any meat hidden under those? Yeah, under the spinach is a thick layer of bacon. Okay. Wait a minute. No, the bacon has to be on top to cook. Nah, see, I've tried that. I was experimenting with different layering systems last night,

and I think the spinach on top of the bacon works better. Pre-cooked? Pre-cooked bacon works better. Pre-cooked? Pre-cooked bacon, yeah. Pre-cooked bacon. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's fair enough. I'll let you have that then. Now, wait a minute,

because I've got a second issue to raise, because banana on pizza doesn't kind of interest me. I'd definitely try it. What about the fact that Jared sent me a picture last night of faking? He was having faking. No. The fake bacon.

No, the middie was having fakin'. Oh, you were having real bacon. So this is a real bacon pizza. She was having fakin'. So I guess the big problem here is not the spinach. It's the banana on pizza. Yeah, see, I've had a bit of pushback about that. Well, our poll was yes or nope, no, never.

And 93% of people, I would say, are disgusted. In fact, messages relating to this post, people saying they felt like vomiting just looking at that photo. Wow. Okay. Well, like, if you've ever had banana on the barbecue. Yeah, as a dessert. Like a caramelized.

Yeah, a dessert, Jared. Yeah. Okay, hold that bubble over here and now switch back to the bacon waffles with banana on top. Yeah. A savoury vibe. Yeah, bacon breakfast.

Bacon sort of transcends sweet, savoury sometimes. Yeah. A god, you would call it. A food god. Put them together. It's not dinner, Jared. Yeah, but you don't put

tomato paste, spinach and meat underneath that. There's too much savoury there. And then where's the cheese? This was a pre-cheese photo, because if I put all the cheese on... But you do put cheese. Yeah, I put quite a bit of cheese on there. Yuck. See, just drop the banana.

You've already got bacon, spinach, and tomato. Like, these are all opinions coming from people who haven't tried it. Yeah, see, I'm... This is true. There's a lot of things in life. And, Fletch, I feel people who haven't tried it. This is true. There's a lot of things in life, and Fletch, I feel like you have said this to me before, when I've said oh, that's not for me, about a whole lot of different things. You said don't knock it until you've tried it.

And then maybe I've tried a couple of these things. Can you make us one? I'm open to it. Yep, with the company credit card. High end. I don't know if you know this, but I'm a pizza oven Yep. High end. I want nothing changed. I don't know if you know this, but I'm a pizza oven influencer.

I do know that, yeah. I've actually got a pizza oven. When I went to your house, I saw it in your spare room. It's gigantic. It's a pizza room? It's my pizza room. Yeah, that's my room. So your visitors will walk in and be like,

hmm, smells a little bit like pizza in here. Positive, I want to say, Jared, you've gone right to the edge of your Tom Pace. Oh, yeah. That's a good spread. I'mives, I want to say, Jared, you've gone right to the edge of your Tom Pace. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a good spread. I'm all about the, I'm all about getting it to the edge. Yeah, you're all about edging.

But everything else, you've really lost me here. That's an abundance of spinach. Yeah. But again, it wilts. It wilts. And it was, as you pointed out earlier, exactly half a bag of spinach.

Someone's text messaged in, a couple of text messages on the subject. This is a big South African thing. Yeah, Dad introduced it to me. He's big on cooked banana. And for like the first 10 years of my life, I was like, that's horrendous. And then I tried a piece and I was like, oh damn. The palate developed.

Yeah, I'm a mature adult. And I know Mr. Toyboy Megan's husband, Andrew, is South African. He'll have a banana with curry. Oh, yes. I'm open to that. What's that? Not a plantain, a banana. What's a plantain?

Well, it's like a banana, but it's like a taro-y banana. Yeah, kind of like a tomato. Oh, like a sweet potato-y banana. No. Somebody else said, Jared, do you have a banana in a barbecue burger? What's a barbecue? Well, like a beef-based burger,

but with the barbecue sauce, like a slightly tangier version of your standard ham or cheese. I hadn't considered it, but I might give it a nudge this weekend. You're open to it. Yeah, I'm open to it. Banana curry pizza. I'm looking at recipes. Banana curry is a really big banana on pizza.

Banana curry. You're hearing from a lot of South Africans on the show this morning who've said, yes, I'm an ex-South African banana on pizza, banana curry. You hear from a lot of South Africans on the show this morning who've said, yes, I'm an ex-South African, banana on pizza. Somebody else said that's the Jo'burg special. You're asking what you're talking about there is a Jo'burg special.

So Hawaiian pizzas are ham and cheese with pineapple. So the Jo'burg special would be banana on a pizza instead of the pineapple. Banana, bacon and spinach. Someone said it's always the banana, a pizza instead of the pineapple. Banana, bacon and spinach. Yeah. Banana and bacon. Someone said it's always the banana bacon combo that makes the Joe Berg special.

See, man, we'll have to try this, but. I'm open to it. I agree. I mean, I'm a hard no until convinced otherwise. I need the flaveur. I want to know what Nelson Mandela would have done. You know, I ask myself that in life a lot. You do, yeah. What would Nelson Mandela do?

What would he have done? Yeah. And I can only assume he would have doubled down on the nines for the JoBlo special. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Target in Australia, otherwise known as Target to you basic people out there. We don't have...

We've got a Target, but it's a furniture store. Yeah, it's not the same. It's like Target in Australia is like Kmart, really, and the warehouse. Yeah. So there's a new product that is blowing up online,

catching people's attention. A lovely pair of polyester slippers. All right? On the outside, they're that kind of faux minky, kind of furry looking thing. But inside, sewn in, they're really thick, are those silica beads.

And you can now put these into your microwave and heat them up like a bean bag. That sounds like a house fire waiting to happen. Yeah, absolutely. They've explained, because I thought it was going to be like beans, like a wheat sack. Yeah, like a wheat sack. Wheat, yeah.

But no, they're those silica, you know when you get those packets, those dried sort of silica beans. Yeah. Do they hold a heat? What you think about, wouldn't it be the same as silicon baking trays and stuff? Isn't that like, do you ever use those?

And you're like, how is this not melting? Melting, yeah. I assume it's giving me cancer. Oh, absolutely. I mean, every time I pop a muffin into that blue pop-out tray and it just pops straight out, I'm like, thanks, tray. But I am aware you're trying to kill me. Yeah, something will be leeching into me.

Well, as well as keeping your toes nice and toasty, Target's claiming that the slippers can potentially relieve aches and pains, may provide temporary relief from sprains and bruises. And obviously everyone was like, yeah, don't put your polyester slippers into the microwave. Do you have to put a cup of water in with them? That's a wheat sack. That's a wheat sack.

Wheat sack, you meant to put a cup of water in. Maybe those silica beads, because you know how they always absorb moisture. Maybe they do absorb moisture, and that's what holds the heat. So to cover themselves, they've said, after heating,

shake the slippers to distribute the beads and the heat evenly, and test the temperature of the slipper by placing it against the back of your hand. Be aware that if heating times are not carefully followed, it's only a few seconds that it's in there, really. It could cook your foot. Yeah, there's a a few seconds that it's in there, really. Cook your foot. Yeah, there's a risk the temperature inside the slippers could continue to rise.

Does this mean that it's like you'd be walking on like a beanbag? I'm walking! It's a bunch, yeah. Because like, you know what I mean? Would it be a squelchy slipper? Would you be a bit unstable, maybe? Yeah. I just wonder.

But I guess it's just designed for the couch, right? In winter. Stop your feet getting cold. I was just thinking you could almost like make your just designed for the couch, right? In winter. Stop your feet getting cold. I was just thinking you could almost like make your own. Get an old pair of Uggs, the ones with the leany soles they're going to need replacing. Cut, get them off. Yeah.

Sew a wheat sack on the bottom. Oh no, because you couldn't, you couldn't microwave wool. Just get hand warmers that every time you crack they, and you just slip one of those down. Or I've just gone to my favourite website in the world, AliExpress. Oh, that's your second. I know that other one you go to every day when you get home. They've got USB heating slippers. USB? So you don't have to microwave them.

You just charge them in, and then I'm guessing it heats some kind of warming pad. Probably don't leave them on unsupervised. Yeah, but then when you wet your bed, you get a shock. Well, you're not plugged in when you're wearing them. Yeah, Aaron's got an electric heated hottie because he's got a bad back. So he's got a hottie that you like click onto a charger. It heats it for ages and it holds heat longer.

Wow. Than a hottie. So it's not water inside. It's like some other kind of liquid. What's in it? You don't know. Sure, yeah, but you just heat it up with a charger. So if that burst open, is that worse than hot water bursting onto you

or chemicals? I don't know. I mean... Burns, regardless of what burns, you famously aren't too enjoyable. Yeah, totally. The best part about this, 20 buck. 20 Australian dollars. For these slippers. The best part about this, 20 buck. 20 Australian dollars. For these slippers. Well, there you go.

The bubble's open. Well, yeah. Actually, if anyone's over there, are they able to pop me a pair of these? One size. What size are you? Because you've got a big feet, don't you? One size fits all.

Can be used warm or cold. They never fit mine. No. What size? Cold. You could chuck them in the freezer for a while too, could you? He could give cold feet.

He'd be a bit damp. Yeah, I don't know. I'll just keep wearing a thick pair of socks. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I couldn't last that long. Today's Fact of the Day regards birds and their pooping. Okay.

We've had a few Fact of the Days about birds and their pooping, like one hole, the cloaca. That's a sure sign of a bird there. It all comes out one hole. Remember I was on a school trip at primary school and got absolutely pooed on by a wood pigeon. Huge, huge. It was always so embarrassing when you got shat on by a bird.

Yeah. Yeah. It was horrible. But this is about what cars they'll prefer to poop on. Oh, okay. Honda Civics. Oh, no, colour of cars. I don't know if they get so specific as to being like...

Like a Mazda. Bogan birds are like, I'm a holding bird all day, every day. On the Fords and stuff like that. No, I don't think they get into that. But a study in England that ran over the course of a year and a half. Okay. Studying what cars are most likely to get bird poop on them. Red cars.

Really? Red cars. Then blue cars. And then black cars. Yeah, my old car was a red car. And I tell you what, it was an absolute bombsite most of the time. So how does it go into how they tested for this? They literally just parked cars in the same spot,

different cars, different coloured cars, in the same spot. It was like under or by trees. And they just said that the birds pooped mostly on the red cars. The red car got significantly more poop than when the blue and the black cars were painted there. That's one way to test it, isn't it? I assume they ran you know, they didn't

just park the red one under the tree at the time of year where the birds that were in that tree ate the berries from the tree. You know, I'm assuming they were running a study so they had some controls in place. So I just googled can do birds see colour?

And birds see more colours than humans in several ways. Wow. And not only are birds able to perceive the familiar rainbow of colours as well as the parts of the UV spectrum that are invisible to humans, but they have better visual acuity. I've always wondered, we know how you hear,

if an animal's got a better vision than us, they can see more colours. When they look at a rainbow, do they see colours either side of the rainbow? So there's some colours, you know, how it goes, our spectrum is the whole rainbow. Do they see some colours each side that we don't see, or are the colours they see dispersed in the existing colours? And do they see the leprechaun and the pot of gold?

I mean, that's what you all want, right? That's the bigger question. Yeah, how do you find that guy? Green cars were the least likely. Really? Is it because of bush? Trees, yeah. You don't want to poop on the bush.

Yeah, you don't. I could eat that later. Poop what you eat. Yeah, exactly. That could be my house. Well, that's mum's. You know, mum's got the green car. I should ask her if she gets off and gets bird to.

If the Mazda gets pooped on. She's got the lime green green. She's got the lime green. The bright green. You know when Mazda Demios, Mazda 2s were all that green? They were very hot green. There was an orange in the Mazda Demio family as well. It was quite.

Yeah. What about gun metal? No word. Gun metal silver? No word on where silver sits. Interesting. family as well. It was quite... What about gunmetal? Gunmetal silver? No word on where silver sits on the spectrum. But today's fact of the day is a study in England that ran for just over a year found that birds

are most likely to poop on red cars. Fact of the day! Day, day, day, day, day, day. Someone's just messaged in, their cat has a cloaca. A rare congenital condition. Born like this, she's nine years old. Normally cats that have this condition die when they're very young due to infection, etc. The cat's got one hole for all the waste.

That's what, like, the birds have one hole. Yeah, right. Their cat is also like that, but as you say, that would often lead to infection, wouldn't it? Good to know. Great fact there. Sub fact from a listener. Is the cat in a little cat diaper? You see some cats in surgery and they're in a little cat diaper. ZM's F in surgery and they've got a little cat diaper.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. You remember a little while ago we talked about United Video. Get the world on video. Well, the new Brighton store is closing down. Right. 19 years in the community. They're closing down. I mean, I can't think of why.

I can't believe they're lasting this long. Yeah. Final day of trading is April 30th, 2021. So 10 days away. 10 days away. A listener's messaging saying, this is the last United video in the country. Which is not true.

Where's another one? I'm actually on unitedvideo.co.nz, but I want to tell you that this one that is closing down in New Brighton, they've asked at the bottom of their announcement, we ask that anyone with outstanding account balances please organize payment within the next four weeks as to avoid the possibility of having debt sent to a collection agency or small claims court.

Ooh. Um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um. How much were video fines? I can't remember. I think if it was a new release, it was the same price because they lost that out. The next day. The next day.

I'm at unitedvideo.co.nz. By the way, just when you say outstanding debts, is that from the past 19 years? Just all of the debts. Or is it like could somebody have like not returned the Titanic or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like they'll get debt collected now and they've moved houses like eight times since?

United Video hasn't updated its top movie releases since October last year. Yeah, well. Come on, guys. We haven't really been in movie releases since October last year. Yeah, well. Come on, guys. Haven't really been a lot of movies. No. But they are even releasing like that TV series Yellowstone that's online stream. You can get that on DVD. What a wild world.

The stores that are still going and have lasted are always in areas where there's an older population. I can tell you where they are. Or rubbish internet. So it's not the last one. No. Our local stores are going strong. older population i can tell you where they are or rubbish internet so it's not the last one no our local stores are going strong kiaura and good morning to ash burton united video yeah round of applause round of applause turn on the producer's booth microphone i want to i want an ongoing round of applause for all the remaining united videos i'm going to keep reading them good morning keep

no keep going keep going keep it coming keep it coming to gore united video yes have they even got have they even got have they got internet cables in gore yeah they do okay the thing 5g i don't know the finn copper ones keep it coming keep it coming for mastodon master united video chapel street there in in Masterton make this one a big one then make this one a loud one Morrinsville United still going

yes 889-6655 if you need to call them this is a I'm not finished common denominator old people and no internet

keep clapping New Brighton United Video although the other ones that we just talked about there they're shutting down they're shutting down no it's my Friday no round of applause they gave up Keep clapping. New Brighton United video. Although... They're the ones that we just talked about there. They're shutting down. They're shutting down.

No, it's not. No amount of applause. They gave up. They gave up the dream. Start it again. Palmerston North United video. What? Come on.

Palmerston North. Good internet. Yeah, but lots of old people. Yeah. South City Invercargill United video. Whee! Old Shaddy. Tim Shadbolt, the man.

Yeah, he'll be getting a few DVDs out on Friday. I reckon he goes through the curtain. Al, were you ready? I know he's going through the curtain. Vaughan, big call. Oh, Tehranale. Tehranale. United Video.

Tehpuki United Video as well on Jalico Street. Keep it coming for them. Yes, yes, yes. My hands start hurting. Timaru. Timaru. Timaru. Yes. That's on the corner of Sophia and Cannon Street.

Do we not, when was this last updated? Oh, you're actually dead right. This might have been updated in October. They haven't updated their new releases. They haven't updated their new releases for a year. But just in case, I don't want to miss anybody out. Funga Mata. Funga Mata.

And lastly, and lastly, Funga Day. Funga Day. You know, the video on the live stream. Any of those might have gone. RIP if they've fallen since. There we go. Oh, okay. Oh, guys, I've got bad news on the text machine.

Oh, no. Take back your claps for Palmerston North United video. They shut down about a month ago. That was devastating. Ash Burden's store is also closed. Take that one back. There we go. Taradale is also closed. Take that one back. There we go. Taradale is also closed.

Take that one back. Invercargill United Video, still there. Shaddy. Shaddy. Shaddy. Shaddy. Shaddy. And well, we just broke the news before that United Video is closing down.

Yeah, bright United Video. And I went to unitedvideo.co.nz and found the local stores that still remained. And I was running my mouth. I said Ashburton. We were all giving applause, weren't we? Ashburton, Palmerston North, Tardale, Whangamata. Those stores no longer exist. They have shut down. We have sadly heard

from people who have reported that. There's a few missing. We called Gore suspecting that they perhaps weren't open and they answered. They opened at 6am. They opened from 6am. So I just got a message. My friend said yeah, that Te Puke United video is definitely

closed. You want to cross out to him? Well, I don't know. That's what he's saying. He's from there. I've got the number here. Shall I ring them? We'll just give them. Yeah, they might not be open though. What is this?

You're ringing Te Puke. I'm going to ring Te Puke and see what comes through. It's early. It'll go to voicemail. What's ringing? God, I'm excited. What? Come on, voicemail.

Well, they must be open if the number's working. Yeah. They must have given the number out to someone else. Me here. Reassigned it already. Come on, hit me with a voice. The system at seven. Not there.

Oh, God. What an absolute cliffhanger. So how many are left in New Zealand? Not there. Oh, God. What an absolute cliffhanger. So how many are left in New Zealand? Well, do you want me to cross that? I'm crossing out to be good. Well, I don't know if we can definitely say that. If anybody is in that area, let us know for certain. I reckon you should go down to the store and light a candle.

Let's have a vigil. Yeah, light a candle. I think we should have a vigil. For the closed United video. So if we are to believe what we've heard via the text machine, the remaining source, Gore we called, we can confirm. Open. Not only open,

6 o'clock in the morning. Horny farmers. Yeah, I think so. Getting their daily dose. Masterton. I'm taking it to the couch yet. What have they got? I don't know. Just got a DVD player in there. Gore, Masterton, Morrinsville South City, Invercargill Te Puke question mark

Yep Timaru and Whangarei Okay Now have you No any difference Yeah somebody said Timaru still definitely open Oh good

Oh so Te Puke has closed In the last week or two Oh we missed it It was like a Yep Te Puke definitely My goodness I wonder if this Closed in the last couple of weeks I'm, we missed them. It was like a, yep, Te Puke definitely closed in the last couple of weeks.

I'm wondering if this could become a regular feature and maybe the first Monday of every month. We check in with how many you know to videos. Yeah, we do a roll call because it's, there's only a few left. Apparently the Invercargill store

is having a pharmacy going into that store so I don't know if they're going to share. Well, they're subleasing. Okay, so they can, yeah, right. They're going to share that. There might be a bargain to be had. There were some old weekly releases that they're going to share. Well, they're subleasing. Okay, so they can share that. There might be a bargain to be had. There were some old weekly releases that they're getting rid of for the space.

Well, I hope they're also selling a DVD player because I don't have one. Oh, long gone. When you ran Gore United Video off air, this wasn't on air, when she answered, it didn't say United Video. So Gore United Video is also the night and day. So that's why they're open at 6 o'clock in the morning They said something when I was like Gore night and day

And we were like, huh? Is this United Video? She said yes Yeah, right So, I mean, would we say that's still on the list? Still on the list Or is it a hybrid? Shout out to Wilfred and Corrine

Who run the Morrinsville United Video Huge shout out For my hometown saying Yeah, it's still open and it's going strong Lovely That's good news Wilfred Today is a human first Huge shout out for my hometown saying, yeah, it's still open and it's going strong. Oh, lovely. That's good news. Well, Fred.

Today is a human first in the fact that we've had controlled flight on another planet. Now, that's not rocket. Rockets landing and then taken off again. Although, have we ever done that? Like, generally, we get to Mars. That's it, eh? We've landed. It doesn't leave again.

But then, no, we've landed on an asteroid and taken off from an asteroid, haven't we? Because remember, they drilled into it and got diamonds and meteor dust and a bit of Bruce Willis back and flew back. Always good to get

a bit of Bruce Willis back. But apparently, the Mars helicopter attached to the Ingenuity, which was their rover, has taken flight. Like a little drone situation. It looked like, you know, you'd get a toy helicopter or a toy drone.

It's not an actual proper drone. Yeah. Looks like a little budget kind of version of a drone. It probably was a bit budget because, you know, the chances were it wasn't going to work. You don't want to leave something expensive up there. So we just sent an old cheapie. I don't think either of you are right.

Actually, I think it's probably one of the more expensive drones in the history of drones. It didn't look as good as you know. It looks like something you'd give an eight-year-old and you'd have to put in like four AA batteries. Yeah, and then it goes sideways and crashes into the wall because it was never made to balance. But it's not.

It was like specifically built to survive the harsh Martian climate. And they've done it. Yeah. So was that the only thing they wanted to do? Like are they just leaving it there now? Or are they going to fly it around a bit and take some photos? I hope they would fly it around a little bit more. They reached a height of 10 feet, so three metres,

and hovered there and was in flight for less than 60 seconds. And then landed it and then now what? It needs charging probably. It needs charging but it's ages away so they have to drive the rover over there. Plug it in. To plug it in. And then charge off the solar panels. Need to find a socket.

Plug it in. And take the Martian travel adapter. Yeah, which travel adapter would I need to take to Mars? Probably the Brazilian one. I'd take a universal just to be. Or the European. Yeah, I'd take universal just to be safe to Mars? Probably the Brazilian one or the European. Yeah, I'd take Universal just to be safe. They say it's universal.

They don't say it's global. Yeah, but what about the volts? Oh, the voltage. I don't know. What's the voltage? Because I plugged in my hair clippers once in America and it didn't work. It was like bleh.

Yeah, yeah. It didn't work. Yeah. I'm in that NASA. I'd like to imagine I've thought of it. Probably, yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too?

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