ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 20th July 2020

Episode Date: July 19, 2020

ASMR Kink.  Happy Birthday Humphrey!  I Know I'm Not the Only One!  Vaughan the Tooth Fairy.  What surprise did you wake up to?  This Is Why I'm Fat!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello podcast listeners and welcome to the show. It's Thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe Coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. And what a lovely start to the show. Megan has handed me a Department of Conservation hut ticket valid for a night stay. You're not supposed to tell people that. Yeah, I remember she said when she handed it to you, just say, don't say I gave it to you because it was a gift. Who gave it to you? Um, somebody who listens to the show. Was it somebody purchased it for $15 for a hunt ticket? I think so.

Or was it someone in the Department of Conservation who had a couple of promo tickets? No, it was someone who purchased it for me because they love tramping and they believe that I would love it too. They should know that Vaughn and I have tried endlessly to get you to a hut in the wilderness here's the thing rather than like throw it out because i'm just in all honesty i'm not going to use it i was like i'll give it to my friend carl peter fletcher and i know it will that's not my name but sure but right you I've never seen you so jazzed Out of everything I mean I've given you like

A bag of marshmallows And you weren't even that jazzed No but that's like If someone giving you $15 That's a lot of money Like I wouldn't just give you $15 It's a lot Thanks

And then Vaughn and I Were looking at a hunt Weren't we With the natural It's got a natural hot pole Outside it Yeah there seems to be a lot. Yeah.

Yeah. How big is it? It takes seven and a half hours of hiking through mud to get there. What was it called? River crossings. Something. Welcome something. Welcome Flat Hut.

So it's in Westland. No, but then you'll get there and there'll be like 27 people in the pool anyway. Well, you can book the hut, so there's not going to be. Right. It's not like a pool. It's a hot pool. Yeah, it's like a lake. I'll show you a photo.

It's a hot lake. Like a hot spring. Oh, okay. It looks beautiful. It looks cold. I had some friends that have done this. It's in the glaciers area, so it'll look absolutely beautiful. It's a handy having a hot pool at the glaciers.

I've just been telling Fletch not to put his head under. Hot pool. Because I was a child of the 90s. What did you say you get gonorrhea? Meningitis. Oh, okay.

Bacterial meningitis. Oh, bacteria in your ears and stuff too. Yeah, I remember as a child of the 90s we had a good stint of bacterial meningitis. Not me,

but I remember people getting it when I was a kid and it was this big story about how you shouldn't do it. That guy's pretty ripped. Yeah, so he's put up a video of the hot pools. Oh, that's the river. Where's the bloody hot

pools? Here we go. Just like bloody hot pools next to the hut. Look at that with the mountains! That looks like a muddy puddle and everyone's in it together. It is a muddy puddle, but it'd be great for your skin, wouldn't it be? I'm so glad I looked that up before you made me walk seven hours through the mud to get to a muddy puddle.

I like that you're going to walk seven hours. That's not a puddle. No, they were nearly fornicating in the mud puddle. I've shut that down. We don't need that ITC. She climbed on top of him and gave him a wriggle. Oh, look, there's a link here under the hut information. Volunteer to be a hut warden, Megan.

Spend two weeks. What? No. I don't even want to walk there for my own leisure, let alone work there. Yeah, right. Okay. It sounds more up your alley. What was that other hut?

And it was in a cave. Oh, I forget. Yeah, you found that one. Yeah, yeah. That was a cool little hut. This is what we have to do now. We can't travel anywhere. We've got to go out and see our backcountry, our wilderness.

Yeah. Okay, cool. You know how I can support New Zealand? I can do my cardio for seven hours at the mall. Yeah. Okay, cool. I can, you know how I can support New Zealand? I can do my cardio for seven hours at the mall. Yeah. And I will do a lot of support there. All right, well, enjoy the podcast. Welcome to the show.

Good morning. Pleach, Warner Megan. Good morning. Morning. Monday. Good morning. Please, Shavonna Megan. Good morning. Morning. Monday. Happy Monday. All right, coming up on the show, let's go through the agenda, which, by the way, has a lot of a bold,

a lot of bold on the show planner today. I actually quite like it. Very nice. Yeah, this is good. Is it fonts there? Yeah. Is that a new font? I like it.

It feels like a new font. What font is this? Do we know what font this is good. Yeah. Is that a new font? I like it. Yeah, that feels like a new font. What font is this? Do we know what font this is? It's our brand font. It's our brand font? What brand? Our brand or the ZM brand? You can't hear.

We've got a font. We're like Tahoma. She can't hear. Is that our special So is this font Like the Fletch font A Megan brand font Or the ZM brand font ZM like brand guidelines

What is this font called Gibson Gibson Gibson bold Gibson bold That's a good font So that's the one on there That says hit music lives here

Yeah Good Good font. Thank you. Very bold. It's sans serif, isn't it? Yes. No serif. No serif. No serif.

If I was driving along and I didn't know what ZM was, I'd think, well, God, that music must be bloody great. I think that music is sans serif. It's sans serif. I better have a listen. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yep. There's going to be virtual tours of New Zealand because people can't get here to tour

New Zealand. I say don't give them anything for free anyway. I hope someone's charging for these virtual tours. The economy needs it. Well, the top six features of a virtual tour of New Zealand is the top six. All right, that's coming up. Also before seven, there was a birthday in the Smith household that I'd like to discuss. Easily the best July birthday that I'm aware of.

Not a human birthday. No, we've had our birthdays for the year. I don't think Fletch got that big though, did he? human birthday. No, we've had our birthdays for the year. I hear that, dude. Yeah. I don't think Fletch got that big though, did he? No, he's forgotten when my birthday is.

No, it's this Saturday. Oh, cute. I know when your birthday is. Oh, bless your wee heart. And this is a long tease. Make sure you're listening on Friday

because we've sorted Megan's birthday present. This is bullshit because Saturday gets your, like, out of it because we're not on air. It's technically not my birthday on Friday. This is an April Fool's where every year we struggle to think of something to do. And then pray that it lands on the weekend. Yeah.

It does. So I don't get anything on Friday. No, you do. Friday. And I'm so excited about it. I think you'll be quite excited about this. Oh, shit. It's pretty good.

It's pretty good. Pretty. We've put a lot of effort in. Good. That's coming up on the show. But next on the show, it's election season. It is. And that only means one thing.

Vandalism of election hoardings. All right. Fletchfawn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. It was barely up for 24 hours when National decided to take down Chris Bishop's hoardings. I mean, 90% of the work had been done for them, to be totally honest. It's, I personally think they've got to get rid of this.

I can't believe it's another election rolls around. And it's going to be another election year where everyone's got these ugly hoardings up. Now hoardings are those things that are like you've got the picture of the leader on it and the picture of the local candidate and it's like two ticks blue or whatever. Most major political parties, I know the Greens pulled right back on it

last election, eh? Because it's pretty hard to campaign on how you're trying to be good for the environment when you're just hucking up these big plastic things that people just kick over or pull down, and then they lie down, and then the grass grows around them, and then they've got to be taken away the day before the election. They've got to be gone by election day, right?

So everyone goes and picks up the ones that they probably should have re-erected at some stage, and the grass is all dead underneath, and it's all horrible and yuck. But if you want to chuck one on your fence, I know some people with a political alignment will be like, yeah, chuck one on my fence, whoever. Yeah. I was just trying to think of a political figure,

but I couldn't think of one. I don't know why there's like 10 around, but I don't know why. But anyway, if you've got a big fence, they might chuck one on your fence. That's fine because that's private property. That's that person's choice. But they're so ugly on public land. I just can't believe that we haven't been like, okay, let's all make an agreement.

Those things never sway anybody to vote for a different political party than what they thought they were going to vote for anyway. You just look at it and see it's ugly. Yeah. And the people who are undecided aren't going to be driving along the road and be like, oh, wow, those are everywhere. Well, no, you say that, but remember Megan voted

for that hot guy in the local body election. Not only after. I thought it was the fact that he was young and progressive looking and then you looked more into him. Yeah, and he had a cool sign. It was like, it looked a bit different, so it caught my eye. And then I looked into him, and I was like, actually, our views align. Last election, our local Aotearoa legalised cannabis candidate

made his own signs with paint in an old fridge box. And I actually thought that was pretty cool. That was right. Because even if that did, like, I think he cable tied it to something. If that did fall over, no harm, no foul. It's a fridge box. So Chris Bishop's election

hoardings were destroyed after they'd been up a day. Yeah. And also there's been a complaint the new Conservatives, whoever they are, removed, apparently Labour replaced, they put their billboards up and took theirs down or something. They took Labour's down.

No, Labour took theirs down. Labour took down the new Conservatives. But they've just said it was a misunderstanding. Right. They were just like... I misunderstood that you were allowed to be there as well. Yeah. But that's the thing, if I was a candidate,

I would grow a moustache Because that's the go-to Isn't it? Put on a moustache With a vivid I would I would actually just Probably look a bit like Ned Flanders

Moustache and glasses Already taken care of Yep But also people are like Oh it's What is it It's somebody With a problem

Against Chris Bishop It's like No he's in the heart Things get torn down there And tagged all the time. People love getting drunk and just running around, like, ripping things down. So don't worry about it too much.

But I am looking forward to the graffiti this election. Because he was at Batman and Robin one last election. Was that last election or the election before? I think that was the election before. It was when Simon Bridges was running in Tauranga and John Key was still leader of the National Party. And someone graffitied them up like Batman and Robin. Now that was some fine work.

Some fine work. But then we talked to the guy who did it when he did it. And he auctioned off. He did some stuff like that for charity as well. Well, tis the season. Don't just scribble in. I mean, look, don't get me wrong. A well-placed dick and balls.

All for it. All for it. Yeah. But, you know, try some variety. Yeah. Make it creative. Yes. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

We talked last week about people getting creative with how they're making money, the growth in OnlyFans accounts. Well, this is another way to make a bit of cash. Not on OnlyFans, but recording an ASMR. So that stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. I just know it as like people say things real close to the mic. And sexy and sounds, different sounds.

Eating something. A nice clean record. Do you want to hear tearing paper up close? Okay, hang on. I'll try to do one. Ready? That wasn't very good, eh? That was okay.

Was it all right? Yeah, you may put a little pre-rip in it. Yeah, and then go. Because that seemed to be quite like a talk. Okay. All right, here we go. Try this one. At the end, it sounded nice,

and at the end it sounded like you were stripping wallpaper. Yeah. Just that real. But people get into this, eh? ASMR. Some people pay. This is it. This is it.

Okay. This is a seasoned favourite. Oh. You hit the mic. It's a coffee jar. A little. Do you think there'd be like an idea? You know they're always like changing up radio stations and formats and stuff.

Just an ASMR. Is it what? ASMR. ASMR FM. Yeah. And there's just like dripping noises. Yeah. Like a calming, like a meditation.

Yeah, yeah. Like those apps. Yeah, but it's a radio station. But then it would be like, get ready to turn that up. It would be like, and that brings us to the end of the tap dripping. We'll be right back after these messages. The Mad Butcher's got chicken for sale. Like, that would be quite the, just thinking about how you could.

You've got to have ASMR, like, ads too. All your ads would be. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd have to be. Maybe not even ads. It could be like this drippy tap segment brought to you by Plumbing World. Yes, good integration.

Yeah, you want a drippy tap in your ears but not in your kitchen. Oh, that's good. If the Mad Butcher wanted to advertise, you'd just have like sizzling meat. Yes! There's something in this. There really is. Although the Mad Butcher wanted to advertise, you'd just have sizzling meat. Yes. Yeah. There's something in this.

There really is. Although you probably wouldn't want to be on a long road trip listening to ASMR radio. You'd fall asleep. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no. Not for driving. Well, if you're stuck in traffic, it might be therapeutic. Old people, old folks homes would love it. They'd love it.

Yeah. The other great hero might take that to Bogsy, the CEO. I'll come. Yeah, no, great. Yeah. Oh, you, the CEO. I'll come. Yeah, no, great, yeah. Oh, you drop the format. I'll do how it can be integrated to clients.

Yeah, brilliant. This is great. Clients, specialists. What are you doing for the company today, Megan? Well, I've got the best voice on the show, so maybe I can do that. You could maybe do the voicey bits. You do the voicey bits. The relaxy voicey bits.

Because I don't think you two are quite capable. Why don't you just sit down and relax? Relax with ASMRFM. ASMRFM. So someone is making money out of this, and it's similar to OnlyFans, so you subscribe to get the sounds they're making. Okay.

But the sound is farts. So a woman has recorded an hour of different types of farts. I picked my children up on Friday that had a holiday at their grandparents. Yeah. And they were in charge of music on the way back. Yeah.

So on Spotify we listened to Everybody Farts. The people who write Everybody Farts have released a second single Everybody Poops. And then we were Everybody Farts have released a second single, Everybody Poops. And then we were down that rabbit hole. They literally found on Spotify an hour-long sound file, and all it was was farts. And they, like, laughed.

I was like, I'm going to outlast them on this. I'm not going to be like, turn that off. It's driving me crazy. I'll let them get sick of it first. They did not get sick of it. For the whole drive back. We got the whole way home, and all we'd heard was... And were they laughing at everyone?

The whole time. And they'd be like, some would be like a chuckle-worthy fart. It must be on my recent plan on Spotify, right? You need one of those things they have in limousines. You know, the chauffeur in the movies, he just puts his window up. Here it is. Here it is. Fart sounds. Over a thousand farts. One hour.

Oh, my God. Are these actually made by mums? These sound like... The whole drive back. I'm done with it. Oh, yeah. I'm done. Do you know, yeah, I'm done. Do you know, it gets better.

Does it? How? There's a two-hour version. They don't even sound real. No. Oh, that was a bit... Every now and then, because that's the thing, it'll be waning and there'll be a few chuckle-worthy farts.

Yeah, yeah. And then there'd be one that would just hit the spot. Even I would have to suppress a chortle. Well, in this description, it actually describes the different types. Do you want to know? Sure. In this hour-long clip that you paid £10 for,

so $20. I'm imagining if it's ASMR or whatever it is, they're going to be a lot sexier sounding than that. Do we have a sample of the fluff? No, because you have to pay for it. Yeah, but I'm thinking she needs to do one of those little 10-second previews. No, you don't give them the freebie.

So far, New Zealand dollars, she's made just over $7,000 of people buying these farts. But there is a toot to get things started, a clenched fart, farting inside a sack, farting in the bath, and resisting the urge to fart while playing with yourself. I beg your pardon? That's in there too. She ate a lot of potatoes to record this.

Now I play with myself a lot. Oh my God. No, I don't know. Probably not a lot on the Fletch scale of things, but a lot compared to you. Why are you throwing me under the bus? Prolific. You live alone. I'm imagining it's just a 24-hour sale.

You're just finishing one and thinking about your next. That's right. If Vaughan has a house to himself for the weekend, he's like, well, that was great. This is how Fletch lives. That's what I always say. Oh, this is how he lives. But I've never been like...

I made him fart halfway through. Yeah. In all honesty, I don't think I know. I've never been like, no, that's so weird. We'll pay $20,000. Well, now I need to know what the fart sounds like. Can you guys explain this to Sade when it pops up on the credit card? No.

He really wanted to know what it sounded like. Fleshfornuna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. Well, from Wednesday, everybody over the age of 12 in Melbourne must wear a face mask, a face covering, because of coronavirus cases there that have just gone. I mean, last week, it was up some days to 400 cases. Yeah.

300 cases most days. Really bad last week, didn't it? And as we saw when restrictions do come in, it still takes two weeks for the numbers to start chilling out because that's the incubation period, isn't it? So, yeah, I mean, they're obviously facing more lockdown and harsher rules. But there has been a little bit of backlash.

And I don't know if you saw friends on Instagram, like lines crazy, lines for Africa, people wanting to buy masks and also make them. Like there were lines outside Spotlight. Some of them were half an hour long. Like you know how toilet paper sold out? Sewing machines selling out.

Oh really? Because people you know obviously wanted to make their own. Wow. Because you've got a sewing machine. If this all happens again, turns to custard we'll have to get onto your own. Wow. Because you've got a sewing machine. If this all happens again, turns to custard, we'll have to get onto your banana. Yeah. It's a lot of work though, isn't it? Well, you wouldn't just have a bit of fabric, would you? You'd have to have something behind it.

We'd have to have the stringy bits. And then put on the elastic-y bits that go behind your ears. Yeah. Yeah, if you're making your own, how do you know it's safe and effective? That you can find what it needs online. Oh, okay. Yeah, because you just can't use, like, T-shirt material. I think you've got to have something behind that as well.

Yeah. And even then, that's, yeah, to stop the droplets, isn't it? But it's still not as good as one of those HEPA masks. The filter ones. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But, I mean, if you were just going to the supermarket. I think it's still better than not having one, making your own,

is, I think, the way they look at it. But, yeah, you'll be finding $200 Australian dollars if you're seen in public without one. Wow. I was just looking at numbers because I know Sydney had a bit of a spike up again last week as well. They had, on the 17th, so three days ago, they had 425 new cases. In Sydney?

Yep, in New South Wales. Oh, wow. And then 361 cases yesterday. New cases. I guess that travel bubble's not happening anytime soon. And this is why, like, when everyone was like, it needs to happen,

we need to hurry up and make a travel bubble. It's like, this is the unknown. Yeah. This is the great unknown. So I shouldn't be rushing into saying we definitely need one. It needs a date put on it. Because yeah, yesterday 343 new cases in Victoria.

Yeah, it's so comfortable cruising around in your car doing your normal old thing and then you're watching the news and you're like, that's right. You actually forget that the world... We're so lucky. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. There was a birthday in the Smith household. When, what day was it?

Correct, Saturday. Saturday. It was Humphrey's second birthday. Happy birthday to Humphrey. The fluffy cow. He's a fluffy, he's a cow. Yep. You put on social media how you celebrated.

Yep. With a hay cake. It was hay and molasses and this uh rich cow meal right and you put it on a big plate and sing and it's a rubbish bin shaw they wouldn't let me use like the cake server fair enough why i would have washed no god like like we ever use the cakes over that much that if something did happen to it, it'd be the end of the world. It was probably from when it came out. It's got ANCO written on the bottom.

You wanted to put it on a cake server. Yeah, because that would be funny. Yeah, okay. And I bet I couldn't find it. I was worried if I put a candle in it, that they wouldn't be familiar with fire and they'd come in to eat the hay in there. It could like catch their fringe and then you'd have a hole.

Or the hay would catch on fire. It was so... Was molasses flammable? It was very soaked in molasses. It was like Zambuca, the cows. Yes, it's cow Zambuca. And you sung him happy birthday. Correct, yes.

Now, Megan has a problem with this. Because it was only a couple of months ago that it was Leo James Bartholomew Papadopoulos' birthday. His fourth birthday. And we had a little party. He had a hat on and we sang him happy birthday. Yeah, but I've got children.

And the defence rests your honour. What? How is that a defence? It was their idea. Oh. Sure it was. I went and got the molasses and the meal and everything, but no, I said it because I just said, I knew it was coming up in July

and I said, oh, it's Humphrey's birthday in two days. And Indy was like, well, we've obviously got to go get him a cake. How do you make a cow cake? Absolute BS. I don't know. Because you, I remember you saying on Friday, oh my god, it's Humphrey's birthday tomorrow. Yeah.

Oh, I would have been out there and I would have been like, happy birthday, mate. And I would have given him like a little scratch and he would have been like, get out of it. I do not believe it. You're an absolute hypocrite. No, because we didn't do the goats. Well, we don't really know the official goats' birthdays.

And it's definitely, the cows are definitely the favourite. Yeah, right. Because they got a birthday. Are you saying that? But the lambs, the sheep didn. Yeah, right. Because they got a birthday. But the lambs, the sheep didn't get a birthday. The dog gets a birthday. The hypocritical nature of this. I think it's because your dog's so little and silly. It's just weird that you...

Excuse me? At least the dog, like, lives inside and is H&M. No way, that's the best thing about the cow, that it doesn't live inside. I... And I've got no time for inside animals. No way, that's the best thing about the cow, that it doesn't live inside. I've got no time for inside animals. I'm thinking of making all the cats and the dogs,

everybody's a permanent outside, even the children. Sade is allowed in at night to eat and then she has to come back outside. You get one of those big flaps that only lets them out. Yes. And not in. And they all have to wear the magnet collars. Yeah. And Sade's scratching at the ranch like he wants to come in for dinner. No, no, you just

wanted to go out. I'm not letting you back in. Absolutely not. And if you're coming in, oh God, you're only coming in because it's cold. If you want to sit on the couch, put a towel down. God, you're turning into an old man fast. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. The podcast.

ZM. This is the top six. Hello there. A Dunedin company is planning virtual tours of Aotearoa, New Zealand. Land of the long white cloud. A tourist hotspot that is at the moment unable to be a hot spot for international tourists.

I'm going to give away all the surprises though. Or a little taster. Like a little mini travel show and you'll be like I'm going to go there. I'm going to go there. But I don't

do you if you're remember when we used to go away on holidays? Vaguely. Did you I've never been a huge fan of over googling a place.

Why? You know, like, I don't want to. You might miss something. You've got to know where you want to go. Because it's one thing to, like, see the Seward Trench in Samoa. Yeah. To see it and be like, that looks amazing. But then to go there, you're like, okay, next level.

Like, you've experienced it. Yeah, right now. Okay. Like, I don't think the pyramids are going to be ruined for me because I watched The Mummy with Brendan Fraser. You're true. Okay. I like to give it a good thorough Googling,

especially when it comes to like eating. Yeah, right. You like to go and get in there and like somebody's idea of a bad restaurant on TripAdvisor, they might say things that make you think that was my sort of place. And then you get there and you're like, this was a one-star place. Yeah, no, they were right.

They were right. I can feel the diarrhea already building. But Dunedin Tourism Operator is launching a virtual tour. Okay. You know, you can go to different parts of New Zealand in this virtual tour. Oh, so not just Dunedin, it's not just a... No, no, different parts and that's the plan to... Well, do you remember that?

It aired on Prime one weekend, that drive from the top to the bottom of New Zealand? Oh, yeah, I do. That was magical. And you could just flick across the channels and it was still going. Yeah, right. She was all go.

Well, I've got the top six features of a virtual top to bottom tour of New Zealand. Number six, waiting at the roadworks stop go sign for 10 minutes. And it turns out They've just left the sign In the cone And gone for the day

And you've got to wait For the wind to change it Yeah To go Get out and turn around And then in the middle When you have your head on Yeah

Granted you're only going 30 Because it's gravel But you could be like Look I had a go at my end Yeah They'd be like Yeah I had to get out And turn mine to a go

Yeah me too mate It's just It's life isn't it? Number five on the list of the top six features of a virtual tour of New Zealand. Having to take the non-scenic detour because there's been a slip on one of New Zealand's many gorgeous gorge roads. Who knew building roads on the sides of steep cliffs and flood-prone areas would have been a bad idea? Yeah, didn't think that through. Obviously not us because we've got them everywhere.

Yeah. Was it the shortest distance? Maybe, yeah. The lowest distance, the flattest distance? Is that why we always go through gorges? Number four on the list of the top six features of a top to bottom virtual road trip of New Zealand is having a train crossing arm come down

but there's no train. And so you get out of your car and you look and there's like a train but he's down the road a bit and he's stopped you're like what's what do i do i don't want to go around the arms but he's not he's obviously not moving what's he waiting for why is he still yeah that's annoying uh number three on the list of the top six features of a virtual top to bottom road trip of new zealand are sitting in auckland traffic for a few hours because you chose to do your virtual tour on the fr of the top six features of a virtual top-to-bottom road trip of New Zealand are sitting in Auckland traffic for a few hours because you chose to do your virtual tour on the Friday leading into a long weekend. That's just

the realistic nature of things. Number two on the list of the features of a top-to-bottom road trip virtual tour of New Zealand is sheep all over the road and a farmer in no hurry to get them off that road. That's kind of fun. It's very New Zealand. You know when you drive out of Queenstown? Yes.

Every time I've driven from Invercargill to Queenstown, that's happened. Yeah, and it was so beautiful. I think we got stuck there once with the sheep and you just have the lake beside you and all the mountains. It was just like, this is as Kiwi as it gets. I've done it in the summer and it was like, like you said,

picture perfect. But I've had it in the winter and it was like, like you said, picture perfect. But I've had it in the winter and it looked horrible. He's just like, get these sheep off the effing road. The farmer's just there in his dry as a bone and he's just like I've picked the wrong bloody career. You can't drive through them otherwise you get mints in your radiator.

Bit of wool in the windscreen wipers. And number one on the list of the top six features of a virtual top-to-bottom road tripper of New Zealand, having a dad saying, oh, no, we're not stopping for gas here. That's too expensive. Yeah. No, that's four or five cents a litre dearer than I saw it just before.

So it'll come down again. Let's just keep driving. Will you promise me an ice cream? We're not on air yet. I said you'll get an ice cream when we stopped. Have we stopped? No. Exactly're not on E yet. I said you'll get an ice cream when we stopped. Have we stopped? No. Exactly, we haven't stopped.

Back to your colouring or whatever. But don't look at that for too long because you know what you get like in a car if you have your head down your...

Oh God. Got a vomit on our hands. That is today's Top 6. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. I hope I'm not the only one.

Beautiful. Vaughan Smith. Pretty good. Nailed it. Alright, this is a segment of the show where we try to see if you are alone or the only one in the country that does this one thing that you think maybe is a bit weird or unusual or different. Lockie, hello. G'day, team. How are we going? Good, unusual or different. Lockie, hello. G'day, team. How are we going?

Good, mate. Good. Lockie, how are you? Fantastic. Now, what is it that you believe you're the only person that does this thing? I will only brush my teeth on the go, so that's walking to and from uni. What? In the street? In the street.

Just walking down the street, happy days Where do you spit it out? Well, I mean, there's a spit bush I pass And so if I'm being honest, that's probably the first go-to You have a spit bush? I have a spit bush, yeah What kind of bush is it? Do you know? It's, oh, no.

Is it more of a hedge? Is it flourishing under this regular fluoride, minty mouth expulsion? Exactly. I looked it up. I saw if there were any environmental damages. There aren't. So I was like, oh, that's all right then. I love that you looked it up.

Yeah, my friends think I'm psychopathic for it as well, just wandering down I was like, oh, that's all right then. I love that you looked it up. I was, yeah, my friends think I'm psychopathic for it as well, just wandering down the street with, yeah. I mean, like, it's uni,

it's not Wall Street, so. Fair call. What city is this in? This is the Targa University. Oh, Dunedin, yeah, very much felt like

a Dunedin situation. How do you rinse? Are you taking, like, a bottle of water or something? Yeah. And like there are so many benefits from it. It's incredible. Because if you think about it, how much water am I saving?

Like I should be praised. Because you're not letting the water run, are you? There's no possibility because you're not anywhere near a tap. No. And I think the best thing as well, if I do this every day, which I do, I save myself 28 minutes of the week where I would have just been looking at myself in the mirror. So that's time well spent. Yeah, true.

But then what do you do with the toothbrush once you've used it? So this is the best thing. I've got a SnapLock bag. It comes with me everywhere, and it's fantastic. Because if you think about it, I'm going to uni brushing my teeth, coming back from uni brushing my teeth, so it just lives in my bag. And it's also amazing because if I have a really stinky lunch, it's, like, sweet, my toothbrush is on deck.

Well, it's very good dental hygiene, Lachie. Yeah, it's great, actually. But do you overbrush? Are you worried about receding gum lines? Because how long are you brushing for, the whole way to uni? No, oh, gosh, no. No, it's only about two minutes. But it's just good because there's no time pressure.

It's just kind of like I don't need to brush my teeth and leave. It's like, ah, I'm already leaving. Yeah, you're doing – because that's why a lot of people brush their teeth in the shower. I brush – Because it saves time. It saves time. Yeah.

People find that a bit gross. Have you thought – Yeah, go. You two are doing one of those dances down the hallway where you're both going the same direction. I was going to say, you should splash out and buy one of those, like, you see them at the pharmacies or at, like, Japan Mart,

but, you know, the plastic toothbrush covers. Oh, the toothbrush holder. Yeah, the little caddy thing. The little caddy, so when you take it away on holiday or to uni, you could have a nice little plastic case for it. Um, yeah, but, I mean nice little plastic case for it. Um, yeah, but, I mean, the snap lock bag does the trick, but I see what you mean.

And he's using it regularly, so it's not like it's going to get mouldy in the snack bag. It'll be all man-kidding. There'll be, like, juice inside it. Yeah. You'd give it a flick, wouldn't you? Oh, yeah, definitely a flick. Do you give it a flick and a suck? I give it a flick and then I give it a

and suck anything residual out of the bristles. Do you give it a flick and a suck? I give it a flick and then I give it a... and suck anything residual out of the bristles. Yeah, you do a suck and a final spit. That's how you sort it out. And what about getting the toothpaste off from around your mouth? Oh, if I'm being honest, this is probably just back of the hand, which is really kind of... No, because that could leave white. What I've done on the run before is if you've got a drink bottle,

have a drink and leave a little bit in your mouth and just kind of like, this is gross, but you spit it into your hand and you're white. Oh, yuck. To be fair, probably not the grossest thing an Otago UD student's done. No, God no. This is saving time. I can see the benefit of this. So we need to right now open up the phone lines and see if Lockie is alone in this.

Is he the only one in New Zealand that does this? Are you a person that brushes on the go? Brushes your teeth on the go? Would there be people that do it in the car on the way to work? Oh, definitely. But then where do you spit into your coffee cup? Out the window?

Out the window? No environmental damage. As we've heard. There's probably somebody walking past that same split bush every day, just looking at it being like, what is this bush and its discoloration? What's going on here? Is this a mint bush?

Yeah. It smells minty around here. Birds eating primarily odd fellow mints and then shitting here. What's the situation? All right. Well, give us a call. 0800-DARLS-ALES at M9696. If you brush your teeth outside of the house, on the go.

On the go. Like maybe in the car or like Lockie on the way to uni. Maybe you have a Ziploc bag for your toothbrush. Are you ready for your intro? Yep. I hope I'm not the only one. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

Well, Lockie joins us back again. Lockie, you walk to uni and brush your teeth on the go. Yep,

that's the one. And then you spit it into a bush. Yep. What if it's, I have another question, what if it's the weekend? Do you just do it at home

like no? It's either work or rowing. So it's like, okay Do you just do it at home? It's either work or rowing. So it's like... Right, okay. So you very rarely brush your teeth at home? No, I don't. Yeah, that's what I just refuse to now.

What about bedtime? Do you just step outside? I'm not really doing it at bedtime, but I mean, if I was, I'd definitely be walking around, that's for sure. Yeah, right, but, I mean, if I was, I'd definitely be walking around, that's for sure. Yeah, right, OK. I love this, I love this.

Well, Lockie, joining us now is Di. And, Di, you do this too. Yes, Kia ora, good morning. Good morning. Well, not so much walking, because I drive. OK. But, yeah, the trick is to just have a teeny tiny bit of toothpaste on your toothbrush.

Yeah. And you don't have to spit it all. You don't spit it all. Wait, you swallow it? Yeah, yeah, because you use a nice herbal toothpaste, you know? Oh, yeah, right. I've used one of those. They don't foam like your traditional chemical toothpaste, do they?

And when you're driving your car, you do not need to be foaming, right? Yeah, that's true. Very true. And so how long will you be brushing for just oh you've got two to three minutes okay and then it's probably good because the rest of us are stress brushing like hurry hurry hurry but you guys are like taking it easy taking it cruising along yep i walk around the house brushing my teeth and then sometimes i'll get distracted doing something and 20 minutes later i realize I've still got a toothbrush in my mouth

and my tongue's gone like numb and I'm like I don't know how good this is. Do you use the little cup holder as the toothbrush holder?

No, no, I just have a little plastic cover. Oh, okay. See, there you go, Lockie, that's what I'm saying. You need a plastic cover.

So, but do you leave your toothbrush in the car? Usually it's in my bag, and if I remember, I'll wash it when I get into work, but otherwise when I get home because I use the same toothbrush at night, so it's going to get it clean. Do you not have a car toothbrush and a house toothbrush? You've got just the one toothbrush.

Just the one toothbrush. I'd always be leaving my toothbrush in the car. I'd want two toothbrushes. I do too. Lockie, how does that feel to know that you're not alone? Reassuring, that's for sure. Right. Did you think you were alone too, Di, doing this?

I didn't think I was. I think I had heard of other people, you know, rushing around cleaning their teeth on the run. But, yeah. That's a good use of time. Good to know. And again, saving water. Yes. Don't need any. Good to know. And again, so many water. Yes.

Don't need any water. Don't need any water at all. Yeah, exactly. Maybe you could try the herbal toothpaste, Lockie. And it's any tiny bit of toothpaste. You do not need any more than about a quarter of a pea. Yeah, but die, Lockie's on a student budget. Is that stuff budget expensive?

Well, that's okay because he can just use the cheap toothpaste, but just use very little of it and it'll last him 10 times as long. Oh, done deal. Done deal. And if anybody's walking past the bush today in Dunedin and it smells minty, it's Lockie's spit bush. That would be why. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

If you're a trusting person, we've got great news for you. You're going to live longer. It's been a study that's been done. This was Stockholm University. I love the time for people to play. You're like the fool you are. So the question was put to people as just a simple question. Would you say that most people can be trusted

or that you cannot be too careful? You cannot be too careful. Absolutely not. I would have said most people can be trusted. What have I always said? My great life advice. Never trust anybody ever. Full stop. Ever. Yes.

This is why I fall for everything. I'm so gullible. And I'm easy to fall, like, especially at my birthdays. Everyone's like, we're doing this. I'll be like, okay. Because I trust people, especially the ones around me. And then I read something on the internet and I'm like, hey guys

look at this. And you two always straight away, you're like, that's fake. That's not real. To clarify, you're not like believing wild conspiracy theories and stuff, but just more like marketing scam. Not even marketing scams.

But if someone puts up a picture, like that classic case recently where that baby was born with the IUD. And I was like, huh, crazy. And you're like, no, that's absolutely fake. But I trusted that what they said was true. Never trust anybody. Ever. That's such a sad way to live.

I'd like to know if there's ever been any study as to where people's such a sad way to live. I'd like to know where it comes, if there's ever been any study as to where people's distrust of people comes from. Because my mum, I probably get it from my mum. Right. My dad probably trusts people more than my mum does. But mum's like, no, no, no. I think most of my parents are pretty cynical. Yeah.

Well, I don't know where it comes from. But only 37% of people answered that you can trust everyone. But you don't know them. I mean, there's some people I'm like, oh, no, they're dodgy. Yeah. But, like, generally, I would say, like, everyone around here, I'd be like, yeah, you can trust them. Who?

You don't know them. Who? Everyone in this, like, in ZM and around this floor, I'd be like, yeah, you can trust them. But you don't know them We don't know these people How well do you know them But they

Just when you said Around this floor Immediately three people Popped into my head And I would not trust them As far as I could throw them Who I'm not saying on air

But like I mean Also what does trust mean Pass me a pen I'll write down one of the names And I'll show you Are we trusting them With my life Or are we trusting them With like hold on to my, I'll write down one of the names. And I'll show you. Are we trusting them with my life?

Or are we trusting them with like, hold on to my wallet? I'll just send you a message. Because I can't find a pen. Do you remember that time your mail got stolen? That was someone from here. That's right. You can't trust anyone, ever. No, but like.

Oh, okay. See, that was just like one second's work. But that person, there's evidence to suggest why I wouldn't trust them. Yes, there's evidence. And the only reason there's not evidence I'm not trusting more people is that you haven't looked hard enough for it. But my first instinct would be I'll trust them until they prove they're not worthy of my trust. No, it's got to go the other way around.

Okay. Well, I'm 13% less likely to have cardiac problems than you two. If people said, I don't trust Vaughan Smith, I'd be like, and I've given% Less likely to have Cardiac problems Than you two If people said I don't trust Warren Smith I'd be like And I've given you No reason to I wouldn't be If someone I didn't

Really know Or wasn't like A close friend said I heard Oh they don't trust you I'd be like And they have no reason to Because I would

Sell them out So quick In any way Like if I saw Some bread in the fridge and it had their name on it, but I was hungry and I knew they weren't there, I'd eat it. Would you eat my bread in the fridge?

I'd ask you for a slice. Oh, okay. And you'd probably say yes. Yeah. Yeah. But if you said no, I'd probably just take it. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Okay. See, because we trust each other. Yeah, but no, no, you don't. Everybody will be eating your bread. The sad thing about Okay. See, because we trust each other. Yeah, but no, no, you don't. If you do, everybody, everybody will be eating your bread.

The sad thing about this, though, is we'll be dead early. Yeah, and I'll still be living. But because you're so trusting, you'll be internet scammed out of your retirement. Yeah. So, I mean, I'll be here, but I'll have nothing to live on. No. Wonderful. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. Leaders, female leaders are better for your country. This has come about after COVID-19. A team of experts of the Trinity College in Dublin have looked into how each country has dealt with COVID-19. And apparently the countries that are led by females have been a lot quicker to flatten the curve. And the average excess mortality per million of the population was 4.8 in countries led by women.

And 21 in countries led by men. They have said they think it's because they prioritize public health over the economy. Just kind of what happened here, right? Yeah. Everyone's like, but the economy. She's like, shut it down. And now who's laughing? Yeah, well, as you look at countries like Australia,

whose economy is still hurting because they have to go back into lockdown, in and out, and same with America. So the peak in daily deaths is also seven times as low in women-led countries. Okay. Just all round. Are there any female leaders? I was just having a quick Google because yeah, I googled

female leaders. It's all positive stories about what countries are involved. Denmark, Taiwan, Germany, New Zealand, of course. And in different places. Any female leaders that aren't doing well. Yeah, that are bucking the trend and letting down the sisterhood.

But there's none? I can't find any. Well, you know that article would say if there were. Yeah. Wow. Isn't that incredible? Yeah. It's a good thing National got Judith Collins now.

I'd imagine she'd punch you if you didn't wear a face mask if we had to go into lockdown. I don't want to be punched. I'm a crusher. She's not going to muck around, mate. Don't hurt. Don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me.

One of the proofs in the pudding, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, okay. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Big day in the Smith household. We saw this on Instagram. August lost her first tooth.

Yep. Bottom, middle. Yep. That's generally the first one that goes. Just literally pulled it out herself. Yes. Gave herself a fright. Yeah.

I guess that is quite freaky. Yeah. As an adult, I have not just reached into my mouth and pulled out a tooth. Do you remember when you were a kid, they'd be all wiggly and then you'd be like... And then all of a sudden it just kind of goes... I know. You're like... Do you remember how wiggly they were though, but they were still like quite well connected?

Yeah. Because you could push them like right forward. But they were still, you'd give them a pull and I was like, no, it's not happening yet because it'd still be a little bit connected. You should have tied a string on and tied it to the back of the Honda Accord. Jump straight out. Probably would have pulled the bumper off the Honda Accord. Tie it to the drone.

Yeah. Oh, we tried that once with Indy's teeth. That's what I'm excited about too, a new stint of trying to pull out teeth in interesting ways. Great. But yeah, August pulled her own tooth out. And now she's entered a exclusive supply contract with the Tooth Fairy.

Yeah, and this is what piqued our interest, Megan, was that the Tooth Fairy left August money. Yeah, that's what the Tooth Fairy does. $10. Yep. She sent me a message this morning to let me know how much the tooth fairy... Hold on, I'll see. Really?

Yeah. Hi, Daddy. I got $10. $10 there. I love you. Bye. Leave that in there. Good Lord.

So... The tooth fairy dished out $10. Here's the deal with the Tooth Fairy. It's a sign-on bonus. Oh, yeah. Because August has agreed to supply the Tooth Fairy with the teeth. Yeah. It's a sign-on bonus.

It's a brushing bonus. Okay. All right. The first one. So it's always the same with Indy. She entered a contract with the Tooth Fairy, an exclusive supply contract with a sign-on bonus. So the first tooth is always worth more to the Tooth Fairy.

And then what's the other, when Indy had, how much would the Tooth Fairy give Indy? I think for the other teeth were $2. Oh, to see that. A $2 tooth, that makes sense. There, that going onwards. But the Tooth Fairy doesn't do this for everybody, does it? Well, no, that's the thing.

Indy brushed her teeth and every tooth was in good condition. If there was any sign of rot, of course, the going onwards. But the tooth fairy doesn't do this for everybody, does it? Well, no, that's the thing, Andy. Brushed her teeth and every tooth was in good condition. If there was any sign of rot, of course, the price would plummet. You've got to brush twice a day. I was going to say, is it a quality thing? Definitely a quality situation. I think, I remember the tooth fairy giving me like 50 cents, but then are we... Inflation.

Inflation, yeah. Inflation, yeah. It's changed a bit. And you probably didn't have the hard-ass negotiator as a father that I did. I sat down with the tooth fairy. I was like, look, these are my children's teeth. They're great teeth. You're not going to find any better teeth.

It was a bit of a Donald Trump vibe on my whole self in the tooth fairy. I said, they're going to need a sign-on bonus. Check the quality every time. 100%. I said, I don't want any free handouts here. It's got to be a quality tooth. I said, I'll be letting you know if they don't brush twice a day for two minutes each time. Right.

With a fluoride toothpaste. I said, I'll let you know. You're a't brush twice a day for two minutes each time. Right. With a fluoride toothpaste. I said, I'll let you know. You're a snitch to the tooth fairy. You're damn right. I've entered into the contract with the tooth fairy. But do you, is that what you tell August and Indy? Do you get your phone out and you say, I'll text the tooth fairy if you don't brush your teeth? Or do they just brush?

It doesn't even need to be said. I'll just say, hey, look, if you want that top dollar. Yeah, right. If you want that high payout, you've got to keep a quality product to be supplied to the tooth dollar. Yeah, right. If you want that high payout, you've got to keep a quality product to be supplied to the tooth fairy. Yeah, right. That's a fact. It really is business.

Life is business. Life is business. Yeah, no. This is a spermine. $10? Jeez. Yep, entry in first tooth. And there's a bonus if you pull it out yourself and there's no whinging.

Oh, really? Apparently, if the tooth is in your mouth and you're doing a lot of whinging about it, it can pollute the tooth. Right. So when it's wiggly to the point where you think it might come out, don't whinge at that stage. Just give it yourself.

Give it a quick yank. Have it out. Then you've got your high-quality tooth. You've got yourself a top-tier tooth. I didn't know there were contracts to be negotiated with the tooth. When does that finish? Some people just hand over teeth left, right and centre. When does she, is she like Santa?

It finishes, because remember when I had my wisdom teeth out? I didn't get any. We've got 20 baby teeth. I would say. Did you put your wisdom teeth under your pillow? No. No. Then how do you expect, where did they go?

Well, I was on the dresser in the little container they gave me. Well, no, that's not. Well, no, the tooth fairy can't get into that container. That's got your name on it. That's your patient. That's your patient. That's on you. I can't open that. I threw them out. That's not its male. I threw them out. Then that's totally on you. You should have put them under your pillow. Right.

Depending on their quality. Yeah, I was going to say, remember the quality? There's a reason they got pulled out. You know how wisdom teeth are real nasty-ass looking teeth? They've got big roots and stuff. The tooth fairy can do nothing with those. But I was hoping to get like $50 each for those. Just to pay for a little bit of the surgery. So they were like two grand. If they were any good, they would have just stayed in your mouth.

It's true. This is true. All right. It's 10 minutes away from 8. Need to talk next about a TV show. Megan's watching this as well. A Netflix show. Oh, she's frustrated.

Very frustrating watch. I want to talk about this next. ZM. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. Netflix. Unsolved Mysteries. This is a revert of an old show. Yeah. Right? Hasn't there been two?

Because I remember there was one in like the 90s and I remember as a kid watching it and you're always being really scared at the end because it's unsolved. It's unsolved. And there was one before that, I'm sure.

It was like original TV in the 1960s or something. And it's got like a haunting music intro. Yeah. It's very haunting. Yeah. But the thing, we all love like a crime doco. I've got the Unsolved Mysteries opening theme. Okay. Okay, let's see. Very haunting.

No, that's not it. This is the 90s one. Oh no, give us the new one. Oh, that's really creepy. Oh yeah, that bit. Oh, I remember that. And there was like alien things and like pyramids and like Illuminati eyes blinking. Oh my God, that's terrifying.

Is Robert Stack still involved? No, so it's not. It's more like a modern show now. So there's no narration and host. Oh, isn't there? But it's very well done. So if you're into crime stuff on Netflix, this is going to be right up your alley. But! But!

The first episode. The first episode has haunted me and I've watched a few now, but this one I just can't let go of. I know. Because I was like, I want to go. I was like, okay, I can fit this in before bed. This episode it was like 54 minutes. I was like, I can do this.

But then I spent another half an hour after the episode reading up all about it. Because there's a crime. So in the first episode, this guy goes missing. And then they find him, had fallen off a, well, they reckon, off a hotel and through a roof. And had been there for like six days. That's all we know. That's all we know. That's all you know. But there was no way he could have jumped off the hotel

and gone through that hole. Physically, no way. Physics, impossible. What if he pin dropped? His glasses and cell phone remained uncracked or broken. But his rest of his body and also had injuries. That didn't correspond with jumping.

It's bizarre. It's so bizarre. And then there was a note left behind and just it's so is this what every episode

Was there a helicopter involved? We just don't know. Every episode Where did you get this helicopter theory from? Was it mentioned or did I make it up? I think you made

Megan made it up. Megan made up the helicopter. Just trying to like but no one saw anything or heard anything. Yeah. Maybe a helicopter flew past. Didn't something similar to that happen in New Zealand? I don't know.

Anyway, it's... So you get to the end and you're like, what? Yeah. It's not called solved by the end of this episode mystery, is it? It's called unsolved mysteries. Oh, God, it's so frustrating, though. And is this what every episode's going to be like? Because I don't know if I can handle this.

I need closure. I guess when you watch like Making a Murderer that's not solved technically either. Yeah, that's true. No. But at least there was

enough kind of evidence to sway you one way or another where you could be like I know that he's innocent. Let me give you a taste of how this could have been better. How? Because this is what

that used to happen in the 90s versions of Unsolved Mystery. It would be introduced by this guy called Robert Stack, who had this awesome voice. He passed away in 2003. I didn't even know he was dead on morning now, 17 years later. But as a kid, I always remember his voice and the way he set up the Unsolved

Mysteries to be a scary part of it. The last flight and strange disappearance of D.B. Cooper is one of the most baffling cases of this century. Many, including the FBI, believe he must have perished when he leapt from a 727 at 10,000 feet. Oh, that was a famous case. That was a D.B. Cooper.

He was a great voice. Oh, so good. Imagine if it was like, this man was found in a hotel after falling through a roof, but could he have fit through the gap? We don't know, and now... No, he fit through the gap. You said he couldn't have fit through the gap. but could he have fit through the gap? We don't know, and no. No, he fit through the gap. You said he couldn't have fit through the gap. No, he could fit through the gap.

It's just there was no one know how he fell through the hole. When did this happen? There was nowhere to jump from. Early 2000s? Oh, wow. So it's like, what in the world? Oh, my God. It's so brilliant. He just ran out of his house, by the way.

Yeah. And so does it say if you have any information? Yeah, so at the end. And then so apparently a lot of people are jumping on board a lot of these cases and like Reddit, you know, plowing through all the clues and a lot of discussion. So, oh God, I just hope that some of these can at least be solved. And how many do they do an episode? No, it's just one.

Just one each episode. And how long is the episode? Like 15 minutes? But the couple that I've seen always leaves a little suspicion lingering over a couple of people, one or two people. And now in, you know, in 2020 with the internet, and you know

who these people are or where they work. If you've watched, I think it's episode two with the hairdresser, it's like, hmm, husband. Yeah, it's like, how are they going to go around their day-to-day life with this show on Netflix and with Netflix being so popular? Yeah. Like there'll definitely be some pressure put on some people.

Yeah. But they need evidence. Yes. Not circumstantial evidence. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I want to talk now about when you've had a surprise when you've woken up after a big night because a woman

by the name of Megan she went to Magaluf what? I like how you quickly brushed over that. Name's Megan. I don't know if she had a name

it's unimportant if she did. She went to Magaluf? I think it's in Mallorca right? Magaluf. Wait is this recent? Is it open for business? So my friend who's living in London went to Barcelona last week.

Barcelona. I was like, good for some. No, don't. And it was like crazy quiet. I wouldn't be travelling. No, I wouldn't. But then, I mean, it's it's just everywhere over there so I think they've just given up and they just go.

Megaluf coronavirus crackdown ramps up as two more streets are shut off thanks to bladdered Brits. So they're ruining it for themselves. I read a lot of headlines about Brits because you know how they get. You know how they get. They get very rowdy and drinky. It can be somewhat hypocritical when you say that.

That's why we get like we get because they got like they got. Yeah, and they came down here and made us like them, didn't they? Yeah. Oh, it's disgusting. Otherwise, we wouldn't be. Yeah. Okay. So Megan, my name is Megan.

She went to Magaluf with six of her friends. It was like a girls' trip. Okay. And the six girls met seven guys from Newcastle and they all hung out and went drinkies together

night after night. No, there's always one left out. Some of us have two guys. Well, they're just being friendly. They're not like necessarily all like partnering up.

Not peering off. Yeah. It's not PE. Their final night. They're not's not PE. Their final night. They're going into teams. Their final night, they went out and had a big night.

All, what's six plus? Thirteen. All thirteen of them went out and had a big night. Okay. Now,

Megan wakes up the next day and I don't know whether she got in the shower or I don't know how she discovered it but she had everyone's initials tattooed on her thigh.

So she's got 13 Wait, first and last initial? Yes. Some of them were three initials by the looks of it. Some were two. 2, 4, 6, 8, 10. There's 13. 13 initials. I've never been that drunk that

I want a tattoo. And she, they went home and she said she kept in contact with some of the guys, but it wasn't until she friended them on Facebook that she realised some of the initials that she'd been given were wrong, were fake. So the guys had given them fake initials. So she thought that was pretty funny. And also it turns out that she's no longer friends with most of them

because their girlfriends found out and blocked her on social media. Oh, dear. I thought you were going to say she got the initials wrong because, like, one of their names was Juan. And so she's like, double. So she's got initials of all these people who she no longer keeps in contact with and some of them are incorrect. But woke up and it was an absolute surprise. Yeah. How did that happen?

That's why we want to ask the question this morning. Whether or not you woke up to a drunk tattoo or something else, what did you wake up to after a big night? My mother-in-law did this just recently. What, a drunk tattoo? No, no, no, she gets pretty slizzard. Yep. On the mum shardies.

Was she on the shardies? She's not afraid of a shardie. She's not afraid of a shardy. She's not scared of a shardy. Okay. Is it a cask shardy? Oh, no, no, no, no. It would be a bottled shardy. Okay, all right, good. All right, okay.

What did she do? What did she wake up to? She bought an instant pot. A what? Have you heard about an instant pot? I've been seeing a bit of them online. An instant pot? So it's a multi-cooker.

So you can use it as like a crock pot, a slow cooker, or a pressure cooker, or a bread maker, or a rice cooker. Oh, my God. So it is a multi-use. Yeah. Multi-pot. Yeah. Okay.

But she got boozed, and she said she'd been thinking about it. Yeah. And she must have come back. And then what wakes up? She's got a very bad influence living next door. Always just like, let's do this. And I get drunk and she came home and she woke up the next

morning and had emails and she's like, what's this? And it was like, your instant pot's on the way. And she's like, brilliant. Fantastic. Thanks, drunk me. Haven't you drunk purchased something? Yeah. A lot of things. Because I get drunk and I want to treat myself. It's not like you deserve it. Purchase something? Yeah. Yeah. A lot of things. Because I get drunk and I want to treat myself. Yeah.

It's not like you deserve it. Purchase. Most of us treat ourselves at like, I don't know, fast food on the way home. But you treat yourself to shopping. To my wish list. Yeah, yeah. All right. 0800 Giles at M.

Give us a call or text in 9696. What surprise did you wake up to after a big night out? You're like, uh-oh. I'm excited. We would like to know what surprise you found once you woke up after a big night. Because a woman ended up getting 13 tattoos of people's initials of her party friends when she was in Mallorca.

A couple of French fries and some kebab lettuce. I'll start. Kebab lettuce. kebab lettuce. I'll start. Kebab lettuce. Kebab lettuce. At least you ate it all and you didn't roll over on it. Yes. Yeah. I mean, technically you got it all.

I remember waking up one morning and I was just like fully clothed and it was literally the only time I can not remember what happened. Yeah, right. All the lights were on in the house. The door was open. It was July. But you didn't have anything else there. Lights were on.

Nah. My mate was asleep in the bed beside me. Again, fully clothed. Otherwise, we were worried that we'd been hocking up or something. You could have been hooking up fully clothed. We could have been. We shouldn't do this. It's a forbidden laugh.

Anonymous, good morning. What surprise did you wake up to? I woke up one morning with a big wad of padding on my lower back. I was like, what is this? And then it all came back to me. Kidneys, they're taking your kidneys.

They're taking your kidneys. Hey, I boosted my bantam count by 10K. Yeah, but no kidneys. So, what, it was a tattoo? It was a tattoo, and it all came back. I remember I'd had a few fences, walking past a bar in town. This was about 20 years ago. It was called the Rocky Cola.

And went, oh, tattoos. They're wearing tattoos in the park. So off I went, dropped my trousers, straddled a chair, ended up with a tuatara. A tuatara. Okay, brilliant. Wow. It was 20 years ago, so middle-aged spread.

It's now a dinosaur. Yeah. Wow. And I can't believe they let you get a tattoo really drunk. I know. And it was really funny because the girl who was doing it went down and went, Anonymous, is that you? And I was like, oh, and I went to high school with her.

Wow, brilliant. Anonymous, thanks for your call. Let's go to Oliver. Oliver, what did you wake up to in the morning? What surprise? Oh, it was actually, yeah, on Sunday morning, just been. I woke up after a big night in town with my missus and get up, I'm starched naked,

look over and her best friend's lying next to us. Was she also naked? No, she was not naked. Apparently, we sent her off to bed as well. We all left, so she crept up in the middle of the night and wanted some late night cuddles with both of us. And did anything

happen or you don't know? I mean, we don't need details now. No, okay. But I guess initially you'd details now. No, okay. No. But I guess initially you'd be like... No, nothing happened. Yeah, right. Yeah, quite interesting because she's also my best friend's girlfriend.

So it's a nice little love triangle square thing. And does your friend know that that happened? Yep, yep, yep. No, apparently it happens quite regularly and they have sleepovers all the time. Does your friend know that that happened? Yep, yep, yep. Apparently it happens quite regularly, and they have sleepovers all the time, but yeah, a little bit surprising in the morning if you can guess what did happen. Oh, wow.

Wow, Oliver, thanks. I like how Oliver said he was starch naked. Did he? I thought he said stark. No, I'm pretty sure he said starch, because I immediately was like, mmm, starch. Potatoes. Kirsty, what surprise did you wake up to in the morning?

Morning, guys. How are you? Good, thank you, Kirsty. Good. So this is probably the one that sticks out the most. It has been admittedly a few nights. Okay. But I did wake up one morning and I woke up, first of all, in completely different clothes to what I had gone out in.

And they were back to front and on backwards. So that was interesting. And then I woke up and my foot was quite sore. And I was like, oh, that's quite sore. Turns out I couldn't walk on it. I ended up having to actually be taken to hospital. I had had my foot run over. So I didn't remember that. I did not remember remember that i had no idea how i did it i had to be reminded how it

happened and um had to have my parents come and pick me up from a different town and take me home and ended up being in hospital for a week or so and um my foot was elevated the whole time. What ran it over? A car. So it was run over by a taxi. So I actually lost my phone that night as well. I came home with no shoes, so I lost my heels. Apparently we went rolling down hills and, yeah, got my foot run over by a taxi.

Wow. It sounds like it was a great night, but I don't remember. Yeah. Unfortunately, I don't remember. This is a fantastic advert for binge drinking, isn't it? Yeah. While we're drinking. Thank you, Kirsty. I woke up with the back of my hair dyed purple.

Just the back? Apparently, I fell asleep in a chair, and this is why I don't drink anymore. I'd just say probably just get more trustworthy friends. Yeah. I drink. I woke up in probably just get more trustworthy friends. Yeah. A drink. I woke up in a relationship. Oh, okay. That's something.

I woke up one morning and I had all the email confirmation of a $150 dinosaur suit confirmed and that it was on its way. That's good. Is that one of those big inflatable ones that you wear? It must be. It has a little fan in it. Well, no, those are really cheap. Are they? Didn't we get one for like 30 bucks?

I think they were 30 bucks. This person's drunk though. They probably got into a bidding war with themselves. Yeah. That's out of 35. It's up to 40. You're not going to beat me, you bastard. All sorted through.

Woke up with two stacks of compost and a tray of milk on the front deck. Okay. That's interesting. That's a very interesting story somewhere that you'll never, never know. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about Brian Henderson.

Okay. Giraffe Data is his Wikipedia username. username okay and we're talking about him because brian henderson has made 47 000 edits to wikipedia did you say wikipedia did i say wikipedia i think i went wikipedia i took it i took a bit of a break pedia between them okay doesn't work for wikipedia no w is kind of like user-edited, right? Yeah. But if you're going to make a correction, it's always good to put a site,

a site your resource is at the bottom. Yeah. He sounds boring. All of his 47,000 edits are for the same thing. What? He has made 47,000 edits to Wikipedia, removing the term comprised of, because he says,

and he is correct, comprised of is not proper English. What would you say? Composed of? Composing of? Comprised, apparently you can say comprised. Yeah. But not of. Okay.

Or comprises, but not comprises of. Brian sounds like you and him could hang out. He sounds like a hoot. I'd be fascinated, but I'd also be really scared. I'd put a foot wrong around Brian. Right. And then he'd hoe into me. Yep.

So, yeah, he's gone through. He even created software that scans Wikipedia for any new entries that have the phrase comprised of in the middle. Oh, my God, we've got to try this. And on his Sundays, on Sunday nights, he goes in, he changes it to whatever suits best. It could be composed of. Yep.

Because that's what the word comprised means, composed of. So something comprises of the ingredients. Yep. That means it's composed of. Right. Do we have a Wikipedia page? Nah. Like, could we just start one and then chuck that in there?

A show comprised of... Of, yeah, Fletch, Warner, Megan. Or music. An hour comprised of music, talking and ads. And ads. I don't think you need to encourage Brian. And then let's, like, we'll lay the trap and see if Brian edits it. Yeah.

But how will you know? Or does it have to say that Brian edited it? You'll get a little notification. If you're the person that sets up the page, you'll get a little notification saying one of your entries has been edited. I know, but how do you know it was Brian? It'll say. It'll say.

It'll say. It's his username. Giraffe. What was his username? Giraffe data. Giraffe data. And then when he edits it, then what? Well, we can get a sense of...

Well, that's what Brian said, that he has people write back. Because when he changes it, he also cites a 6,000 word essay he wrote about why comprised of isn't the correct one to use and alternatives that these people could use. So we'll have a...

He sounds like a hoot. That means we'll have a citation at the bottom of our Wikipedia page. Citation, which is a 6,000... Somebody make that. And just write comprised of a whole lot of times. Yeah, do that. Yeah.

But then we found with Wikipedia pages before, if there's too many user edits, they just axe it, don't they? Right, do they. Like if people going in just constantly changing things, it just gets axed because they think that it's probably just fictional. Brian said that most people get back to him and say,

thank you very much. I didn't know that. I didn't know that that was the case. Yeah, right. And he says, you're most welcome. But he said a lot

of people say, write him back calling him an idiot and like, why are you wasting your time? And this is language, bro, it evolves.

Yeah, right. And he's like, yes, sure, but you're putting this in something that's in a psychopedia. I feel like you or I could both do this for various things. Especially you with your grammar. You love pulling people up on it.

Yeah, but I'm not perfect. I'll admit that. You know, as surprising as that is, we all make mistakes. Megan rolls her eyes. Only a little bit more Brian. You and Brian are both major punishers. No one wants to party with. Yay, Brian.

So today's fact of the day is a man called Brian. If you put on Wikipedia comprised of, expect to hear from Brian because he has made those corrections some 47,000 times. Fact of the day, day, day,

day, day. I do-do-do-do-do It's Fawn and Megan, the podcast. Blackout Movement. This is why. Fat. This is why. Fat. This is why. This is why. This is why. Fat.

A segment of the show where we take a look at delicious treats on the market. Sometimes in Australia, chocolate flavours end up here. Yeah. New ice creams we can see on the horizon. But these are chips that are right here in Aotearoa. Bluebird. Chibis. Bluebird. So there are four new flavours and we're going on the horizon. But these are chips that are right here in Aotearoa. Bluebird. Chibi. Bluebird.

So there are four new flavours and we're going to taste them. Do you want me to tell you the flavours or are we going to say the flavour, taste it and move on to the next flavour

with the most controversial flavours saved till last? Yeah, let's do that. There are two controversial chip flavours. What's this one first, This is Sunday roast. I've looked at the back

of the ingredients. No, it doesn't say what meat. Like it's just... It tastes Sunday roast. I've looked at the back of the ingredients. No, it doesn't say what meat. Like, it's just... It tastes like roast. It's like gravy. Oh, see, I'm all down for gravy, Chad. It tastes like the gravy's the most... Okay.

Yeah, good. Right? Is that right? Oh, good foley. Good crunch. Oh, my God. I hurt the roof of my mouth at the weekend. I got a sharp object straight to it.

So these are like really. Like a nacho chip. You're right. That just tastes like beef gravy. Yeah. It tastes like that rich brown gravy. That's insane. So that's not controversial.

These two first flavors are kind of takes on already on the market chips. Cheese and onion toasty. Yeah, so cheese and onion is already a chippy. It's a classic flavour, but we're wondering how they're going to make it taste like a toasty. You've got to get it to dance on the... It's not wine, mate. Well, it is.

Okay, Vaughan's just trying that flavour there. I'm going to go for a smaller one this time. Okay. Oniony, very onion Okay. Oniony. Very oniony. Perhaps a little more oniony than classic cheese and onion. Yeah, it is. Very oniony. Spring oniony. More than brown oniony. There's no

bread to that. It's just onion chippies. Yeah, it's really heavy on the spring onion, eh? Yeah. It's nice though. It's spring onion more than brown onion. It's not bad. Not bad. I mean, it's certainly better than people that buy ruddy salted chips. Now this one,

people, okay, is the second to last but also the second most controversial. The most controversial one is this. No, I think that's

the most controversial. No, this isn't controversial because it's still a savoury flavour. Yeah, Vaughan's right. And very Kiwi. Pile of fritters and lemon.

Now this could go one of two ways. It might taste like pile of fritters in which case you'd probably be like, I'd just rather have a pawa fritter. Disclaimer, never had pawa, but also don't eat anything under the ocean. Oh, yeah, you don't like seafood. Oh, my God. Does it smell like fish?

It smells exactly like lemon on like a pawa fritter. Oh, no. See, I think you're right. Okay, here we go. all right that's a big one that was massive that chip okay will i like it no you don't like seafood so probably does it taste fishy does power taste fishy yeah power tastes fishy do they taste fishy what do you think that's weird though making a fishy chip it's But it's got a good hang of lemon in there. Well, that's weird, isn't it?

It is, but the last thing tastes afterwards is lemon more than pahwa. It's almost like a lemon pepper taste, so it's not too bad. No, I like it. I don't know what pahwa tastes like. Well, try a pahwa. No, but that tastes like lemony and parsley. Yeah, there's definitely a little. Okay, now this is the one.

The most controversial chip flavour. Now, am I right in saying Australia launched the chip flavour similar to this start of this year? I don't know. Oh, Smith's. Oh, Smith's are good chippies. Smith's Crisps. And I remember when this happened in Australia, there was a lot of controversy. Would you like to announce it?

Yeah, Smith's did have this flavour. Bluebird have done a chocolate lamington chip. Now, I looked at the ingredients. It has coconut and cacao powder, so it's chocolate and coconut in it. This is going to be yuck. Because I feel like salt is the essence of a chip, right? And how do you have a salty lamington? But then last week, we were talking about the sweet and tangy chip.

Yeah, true. Remember, we were talking about the sweet and tangy chip. Yeah, true. Remember, we were talking about how there wasn't a... This could be it. No. Because I love lamingtons. What do you mean no? What? What?

You've got to sniff it. Okay. Why? Open that and have a sniff. Oh, my God. It smells like delicious lamington. It smells exactly like it. I mean, it's...

Oh, yuck. Yeah, like delicious amygdala. It smells exactly like it. I mean, it's... Oh, yuck. Yeah, I know. Try one then. And they look like... No. I didn't look at them. What do they look like? They've got chocolate powder on them.

What you doing, you weird shit? They kind of look like they've been dipped in a... No. No, immediate, the straight bite to the taste bud was a no from you. It literally is like a lamington on a potato chip. No. Okay, she probably ate a few more. What do you dip it in?

No. That's weird, isn't it? Because you know, sense-wise, that you're eating a chip, but it tastes like you're eating a lamington. I don't even want to finish that. It's not salty. That's interesting. Yuck.

Again, I guess because a potato can't, a potato's a very plain thing, right? Yeah. So it could, we've always just made them savoury, but they could be sweet. They could, yeah, you're going to wash down with a little cheese and eat them. I couldn't eat those. That's unpleasant. I think people will buy them just to try it. I mean, it leaves, to, they're better than ready salted.

No, I'd rather have ready salted. I think you found the one flavour I'd probably rather eat ready salted than that flavour. Well, they're out now. New flavours. You could dip ready salted. Yeah, you couldn't dip the lemon in. In anything. That would, no.

What about. You said chocolate would probably be about the only thing you could dip it in. What about dip those in a really nice, like a bougie raspberry jam? No, because it's. No, I don't want, because it's still a chip, you weirdo. Yeah. And now you're dipping a chip in jam. I think it's time you had a look at your life. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast, ZM.

Scientists who you'd think would be all hands on COVID deck at the moment. Yeah. Hey. I'm trying to find a... But not all scientists are COVID-y. Nah, that's true. That's true. So, by the way, the scientists that are working on that I read earlier today have identified

six different types of COVID-19. Jesus. And so that's why, you know, you hear about people having different symptoms. Yep. Like Tom Hanks talked about how him and his wife Rita had it at the same time, I'm guessing from the same person, or they gave it to each other. Yep. And they had very different symptoms.

It's because, yeah, it settles down in people in six different ways, apparently. But does that mean she got a different one? No. From what I, and this was a five-minute read, from what I can see, it manifests in itself in different people in different ways. Just like perfume smells different on different people because it mixes with your skin's oils and stuff. Is that what you're saying?

Yeah, except perfume didn't make everyone have to stay in their home for four weeks. And that's just in New Zealand. Links, Africa doesn't work as well on me. Whereas me, it just adds an absolute panty dropper. I smell it. I smell it and my pants are undoing themselves. They are.

They really are. You just said that. Just take a second. Yeah. What? I won't smoke. When I smell Lynx Africa, I subconsciously start to remove my pants. And the smaller version of pants underneath that I like to refer to as

panties. But getting back off your pants, also reading over the weekend, several trials and vaccines are looking pretty good and underway. Right. And with more human trials. Great to hear. Well, it's not all good news though because scientists have accidentally created

a new breed of fish. Is that the one that I saw the photo online of the fish with the mouth? Did you see that? And the human teeth? Yes. And people putting eyelashes and hands on it? Wait a minute. You guys are getting out of control.

This is used. What do you mean it's got a human? Pouty fish. Did you not see this? No, or fish with human lips. No, and human teeth. Yeah. How did you miss this?

It's almost like a trigger fish. Because it triggers you to be like, oh. lips. No, in human teeth. Yeah. How did you miss this? It's almost like a trigger fish. Because it triggers you to be like, no, this is the cross. No, we're talking about different feet. Oh, yeah. It looks like someone's photoshopped someone's lips and teeth onto a fish, but it's not. That's real.

That fish has got better teeth than I do. Yeah, it's almost like the fish... That French has got better teeth than I do. Yeah. It's almost like the fish is evolving into a... Human. A human. No, I wasn't talking about that fish. Okay, well, what have the scientists made? Well, this was an American paddlefish and a Russian sturgeon fish. Right.

Did you say accidentally, though? Yeah. How do you accidentally do that? Well, they wanted to... They were looking at the sturgeon because the sturgeon is a fish that lays the eggs and the eggs become the good caviar. Oh, okay. It's a bit, yeah.

But that's what caviar is, right? It's fish eggs. And they said they were just kind of like doing some research on them and they combined the sperm of the American paddlefish and the eggs of the Russian sturgeon fish and hello, they've created pretty much the fish version of a liger right two uh fish species that they weren't sure would work but it did okay they're both pretty um creepy like i wouldn't want to meet them in the river or the ocean neither of them no i wouldn't be a huge fan of either either of these fish in there but better than the fish with the human mouth. You pick it up and it's like,

hey, pop it back in the water. Oh, my God. You didn't think it was just the lips and the teeth, did you? Ah! this podcast, why not give ZM's free and Clinton to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here. ZM.