ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 21st April 2021

Episode Date: April 20, 2021

Cops Caught  Top 6: Things that lasted longer than the travel bubble  Bluff or Stuff: Snow Lying Edition  Producer Carwen learnt somethingVaughans never tried something  When did you hide as a...n adult?  Hayley has a biiig surprise!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Buy five McCafe coffees and get one free on the Maccas app. I'm a bit embarrassed because I'm off to the dentist. Again? Yeah. Didn't you go last week? That was the hygienist.
Starting point is 00:00:15 Oh yeah, okay. I visit the dentist regularly, Vaughan Smith. What a loser. Very regularly, but I know I've got some work to do. I've got a few, I'm a grinder. You regularly. But I know I've got some work to do. I've got a few. I'm a grinder. You've got a grinder? I've got a grinder.
Starting point is 00:00:29 I've gone up with dudes when you were a dude. No, no, no. I'm a tooth grinder. All day, all day. Is that like the tooth fairy, but I'm a grinder? Yeah. No, it's like. Oh, like an anxious.
Starting point is 00:00:39 I think I grind a little bit in my sleep, maybe. Yeah, I just constantly grind all day. You're a grinder in your sleep. Probably. You just leave it maybe. Yeah, I just constantly grind it all day. You're on Grindr in your sleep. Probably. You just leave it open. Oh, right. Anyway, so I've got a few little chippy teeth that were getting fixed, and then I'm getting a new retainer made,
Starting point is 00:00:53 a splint retainer to really keep the teeth in place and stop it. You have to put that in when you sleep? Yeah, every night. Oh, is that horrible? No, I wear a retainer at night anyway most of the time, but I haven't been because I wore through it with my grinding. Jesus. I love to grind.
Starting point is 00:01:09 It sounds like a mouth guard. You grind and you sleep and it chews it up. Yeah, but I'm a bit embarrassed because my mouth is in absolute state at the moment because I ate a bit of karaage chicken. Oh, yeah, the hot karaage. And it was Hyping hot And I've not only Sort of
Starting point is 00:01:27 You know when you burn The roof of your mouth The little skin comes off Yep There's a bit of a hole Happening Jesus Christ It melted through
Starting point is 00:01:34 Your upper jaw Yeah and then I've been Eating quite a lot Of my allergic food So my tongue's a bit Swollen at the moment So that's also got Some bites and ulcers
Starting point is 00:01:41 Up the side And I feel like Between last week Going to the hygienist and this week going to the dentist, she's going to look at him and be like, what the hell have you been doing? It's an absolute mess in there.
Starting point is 00:01:51 Do they judge other aspects of the mouth? Well, have you seen those stories during the rounds the last few weeks? They can tell if you've been... Fillating the willy. What? Who? Dentists can tell.
Starting point is 00:02:03 Can they tell if you've been fellating the not-willy? Like the... No. The vahain? No. No telltale signs? I can't say it. It's too rude.
Starting point is 00:02:11 What, bruising? Yeah, it's like a light marking on the roof of the mouth. Oh my God, just calm down with your fellating. Emma can produce a Jared's midi who works as a dental... What's her title, Jared? Assistant. Dental assistant. So this is a thing. thing yeah she was telling me about it the other week yeah I read an article it was on TikTok for a while eh and that people were saying dentists were like here's all the things dentists can tell about you and it's like you've recently given a pleasant gift to a willy right
Starting point is 00:02:41 now I'm out of the game when it comes to these pleasant gifts for a willy. Right. Now, I... Right. I'm out of the game when it comes to these pleasant gifts for the willy. Right. You're deep into a marriage. How are people doing it that's leaving marks?
Starting point is 00:02:53 Well, it's just what happens because it hits the... Without going into details. Why are you doing that? Jared, what's the kind of time before you go to the dentist so they don't know? Oh, I'll ask her tonight.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Two-week gobby. Give us a two-week gobby mark, all right? And for God's sake, don't do it so aggressively. Look after yourselves. I'm not bloody worried you'll choke. Just everybody calm down with the wildly aggressive blowjobs. On with the show. ZM.
Starting point is 00:03:21 Hit music. Lives here. Fleecehorn and Megan. The podcast. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleece, Fawn and Megan, the podcast. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fleece, Fawn and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Good morning. Happy Wednesday. Long weekend ahead, the long weekend group toot on Friday at 8 o'clock. I feel like the top of the year is really just full of long weekend, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:03:41 Yeah, then you get that, you get one in June. And then you... Winter hiatus. Yeah, then you've got to wait until, what, Labor Weekend, end of October. Yeah. Although, Matariki next year. Oh, yeah. Exciting. Just getting all my stuff sorted.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Just got hair. Another day. No blood in the stool. That's always a good thing, isn't it? When you go person, there's no blood in it. Am I the only one? I've got a family history of bowel cancer, so always watching for the symptoms. Right, I don't know if that's...
Starting point is 00:04:10 Every day when there's not some blood in the stool, it's a good day in my books. Oh yeah, okay. Come on! It's true, it's true. Everybody should check. Yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:04:25 If nothing else is going your way today, and you take a poo and there's no blood in it, then two thumbs up. No blood in the stool. Right, okay. The intestinal tract is humming. Good to know. Good for you.
Starting point is 00:04:39 Good for you. Thanks. Your chance to win before seven. That doesn't mean I'm clean. I've got a colonoscopy on the horizon. I know, yeah. It's good you keep it regularly checked. I doesn't mean I'm clean. I've got a colonoscopy on the horizon. I know, yeah. It's good you keep it regularly checked. I don't think you should scare people.
Starting point is 00:04:49 There's nothing wrong with you. Well, no, as I just quite clearly stated, no blood in the stool. Yeah, you're checking because of family history. I've got a family history and I'm of an age. How depressing is that shit? Nothing's wrong with you, but you become of an age. Vaughn's also a hypochondriac.
Starting point is 00:05:05 I'm not a hypochondriac. The doctor said to me. You always think you're dying. Yeah, well, we're all dying. I hate to again bring the mood down. Yeah, but if there's no blood in the stool, slightly slower. Utterly morbid start to the show. It is. Don't take it morbidly. It's a positive.
Starting point is 00:05:22 Right, can you sit up? Also, you take way too long in the bathroom. I was pooping. I need a poop stool. We need to have a good inspection afterwards as well. Gotta have an inspection during. Pick it up. Have a good look.
Starting point is 00:05:33 Pre, during and after. Your chance to win coming up on the show before seven. Bluff or Stuff returns to our Snow Lying edition. We've got Up for Grabs, a five-day multi-pass to Kadrona Alpine Resort or Treble Cone. So your chance to play just before seven o'clock. The Prime Minister joins us on the show this morning. Yeah, she's a good friend of mine. Yep.
Starting point is 00:05:53 She's got some explaining to do. Does she? We're going to be asking her the hard-hitting questions. Yeah, like, why did you give that guy COVID? Yeah. Yeah. At the airport. No, that will obviously be a line of questioning.
Starting point is 00:06:07 Absolutely. Yeah. She's on the show this morning at 10 to 8. She might have some stats for us too, like how many Aussies are here. How many people are... Yeah, true. Because the bubble opened as Australian school holidays ended. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:06:21 Because my nieces have just gone back to school. Are we on different ones than them? Yeah, we are on different. Is that so there's not too many lines on the Goldie at the Dreamworld, on the roller coasters? I don't know why those don't always marry up. They're not on like a three-term year or anything. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:37 Well, she's on the show with us at 10 to 8 this morning. And your chance to win with Add to Count, speaking of the travel bubble, it's the travel special all this week. Yesterday gave away flights to the Goldie, Melbourne on Monday. So more travel goodies on Don't Peek. Who's peaking? 8 o'clock is the first Add to Cart. The top six is on the way.
Starting point is 00:07:01 Yeah, the travel bubble lasted all of two days before the first. It's still going. Well, Well, it's still going. Well, no, it's still going, but there's a pin hovering by it. Pin of somebody who works deep cleaning planes from COVID hotspots. Yeah. Pin lingering near the bubble. But I've got the top six things that lasted longer than a completely open travel bubble. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.
Starting point is 00:07:29 There was a Tesla crash in America recently. A 59-year-old and a 69-year-old died. The Tesla hit a tree, burst into flames, took four hours for firefighters to put out. Is that because of the battery? The batteries. Have you seen the state of the aftermath of this? Yeah, it's like melted metal. How hot it was.
Starting point is 00:07:47 Everything's going crazy. They were going down a cul-de-sac in Texas. Yeah. It's only a 300-meter-long street in a gated community. Rich-like people. Yeah, look at those little... Everyone's got a pool. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:01 And about 20 different roofs. And there's like a leg at the end of the road there's two legs two legs like gated community situation yeah right so how the hell did it pick up enough speed
Starting point is 00:08:12 to hit the tree well apparently Elon Musk has the the data right because all the cars kind of live feed back to Tesla HQ
Starting point is 00:08:21 as to what they're doing at the time yeah and didn't everyone say it was on their autopilot feature? Yes, at autopilot. And Tesla said to engage autopilot, a person must have their hands on the steering wheel at all times. But people are saying it's as easy as wedging an orange
Starting point is 00:08:38 into the steering wheel, like around the top, and then with the horners, you jam it in there, and that gives the pressure. It's enough on the pressure. Because people have posted on Twitter other things, like they've put drink bottles in there, jam it in there. Yeah. Because they, correct me if I'm wrong,
Starting point is 00:08:59 but they weren't sitting in that no one was in the driver's seat when this accident happened. That's what they say, that there was footage of one was in the driver's seat when this accident happened. That's what they say. There was footage of them not in the seat. It wasn't the autopilot. Even if you could auto-drive a car like you can a Tesla, you'd want to be in the front seat,
Starting point is 00:09:18 right? You have to be. That's the thing. They've designed it so that you have to be and people are like, nah, I'll put an orange in there and have a nap in the back. Unless a nap in the back. Yeah, unless you're hankery-pankering. But then you wouldn't do that on a 300 metre long street. No, you wouldn't often have a hank-pank in the middle of a cul-de-sac. But I'm assuming they were coming home, right?
Starting point is 00:09:35 So they could have been auto-driving the whole way and it was the end. Is it that good? Is the autopilot that good that it can get through? Like, they're in a gated community, so at some stage they had to stop. Well, yeah, because it would sense that there's something in front of it, so it would stop. Oh, I didn't know that it was, like, full-blown autopilot. I just thought it was, like, if you were on the open road,
Starting point is 00:09:57 like a highway, you could be like, go, and this speed, and stay this far in front of the car, and it would just stick to the lines. Because people are saying that the laws haven't really caught up with auto-driving cars. Yeah. Because if you could do this, like, is that illegal? If you could put an orange in your auto-drive car
Starting point is 00:10:15 and sit in the back seat? I mean, I don't know if that's written up yet. Like, could it be, should it be the law that if you've got an auto-driving car and you've got to be in the front seat, if you're not, like, you're in serious trouble. That's like... It's a ticket.
Starting point is 00:10:27 No, it's more like careless, dangerous driving. Oh, right. Endangerment. Because if you... This car could have driven into someone else. That's the thing. If you want to be a dick... Crazy.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Because Sade's car's got this thing where you put it in cruise control and it won't let you get too close to the car in front of you. Oh, you have driven a car like that? It's so good. It's so good. But you've got to have your hands on the wheel for it to work. And if you take your hands off the wheel, it will hold in the same lane,
Starting point is 00:10:53 but then it'll go... And then if you don't put your hands back on the wheel, it stops itself. Yeah. So if you, like, fall asleep, we've got the driver assist on and the cruise control, and you fall asleep, it stops the car. Wow.
Starting point is 00:11:06 Okay, that's cool. I once had a hire car when I was in Dunedin and if someone got too close or you got too close to the lane, the whole seat would vibrate because it thought you were asleep. Oh, hot. Right, so you were just constantly... Yeah. Playing dodgems on that highway out of Dunedin.
Starting point is 00:11:23 You arrive at the airport, you've got like a scar on your face, your hair's all a sundry. That's going to need a deep clean. There's been a TV psychic. His name is Morris Amdur. He's just been hit with a hefty $180,000 court fine for lying. So he's a British TV psychic. He was in a car crash.
Starting point is 00:11:52 He was driving a Jaguar XKS convertible, very rare car. Okay. And someone crashed into him from behind. And he had a neck injury and a back injury as a result. And then he sued the insurance company of the driver that hit him, saying that the injury not only made him impotent and therefore lost his girlfriend at the time, but also made him lose his psychic abilities.
Starting point is 00:12:24 And so he wasn't able to work for two years. That's actually a really good ploy. Yeah. Yeah, isn't it? So he sued them for half a million dollars. Half a million Kiwi dollars. What? They didn't pay that out, did they? No, no, no. So that's
Starting point is 00:12:39 when they went to court, then the judge was like, you're lying. Like, you're just trying to get something out of this incident by suing this company for, yeah, $450,000 Australian dollars. And so he ends up getting fined for lying. He ends up getting fined for lying, saying that it's fundamental dishonesty. You know, he's denied it all,
Starting point is 00:13:08 but they've just said it's absolute rubbish and you've absolutely wasted everyone's time. And so it's a court fine. So it's going, this is the amount of time you've wasted, the amount of people's money you've wasted. You have to pay $180,000. I was going to say he should have seen that coming, but he had the accident so he couldn't.
Starting point is 00:13:24 So he couldn't read. He couldn't he had the accident so he couldn't see what was happening. He said it was two years of not being able to read people because of his injury. And he lost his erection as well. Don't get Vaughan started on TV psychics. There's psychics
Starting point is 00:13:40 and there's mediums, right? And mediums talk to ghosts. Spirits. Yeah, psychics see into the future. Psychics. Read the person. Yeah, read their future, but is it through the help of the ghost? He said he reads people.
Starting point is 00:14:00 So that would be, you know, like you'd come into me and I'm a psychic. Yeah. And he reads the room, reads your insecurities and then sort of like plays to them Yeah, exactly Yeah, yeah Have you guys ever been to a psychic? No No, I'm too cynical
Starting point is 00:14:17 I'm very cynical, I've never been to a psychic But a psychic was a client of my dad's And used to ring him all the time and be like, oh, Craig, I was just, you just popped into my head and should give some sage advice. And then like it would kind of come true. No, should give some general sweeping statement. It's like when you read your horoscope
Starting point is 00:14:46 and you're like, oh my gosh, that relates so much. And then you're looking for it all the time. And then you'll be like, oh my horoscope says this is going to happen. And then you're looking for it and then you find it. Yeah, because you're looking for it. It's like when you're like, there's no other Hyundai's on the road and you get a Hyundai and then every
Starting point is 00:15:02 bloody car's a Hyundai because you're looking for them now. And then you can't find it at the Westfields, can you? Yeah, exactly. car is a Hyundai because you're looking for them now. And then you can't find it at the Westfields, can you? Yeah, exactly. Takes you a while. You can't walk around
Starting point is 00:15:08 pushing your key button hoping for the best. I'm really sorry to this Morris Amder and that he's lost his psychic ability and now because he has to pay $180,000.
Starting point is 00:15:18 Wow. That's a good bill. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. One of my favourite TV shows at the moment, Line of Duty. Have you guys... Yeah, I haven't watched any of it. No, but I'm familiar with it because you keep saying,
Starting point is 00:15:31 Bent Coppers. Bent Coppers, yeah, Bent Coppers. Bent Coppers. It's about the unit that investigates the Bent Coppers. Bent Coppers. The naughty cops. It's got one of my favourite actresses in it. What's her name?
Starting point is 00:15:46 Vicky McClure. Yeah, McClure. McClure. How is she one of your favourite? What else has she been in? This Is England. All of this is England series. She plays Lol, and it was just one of those series I loved.
Starting point is 00:15:57 Yeah, she's one of the regulars. She's incredible. What's This Is England? Oh, babe. You've got to watch it. It's devastating, though. You've got to watch it. It's devastating though. Right. Where is that available?
Starting point is 00:16:10 Has somebody been illegally downloading TV shows? Have they? There's a website. I can't remember what it's called. Right. Well, Line of Duty, that's Netflix and I think the latest season is TVNZ On Demand. Oh, yeah. And there's only like two or three eps left of the season,
Starting point is 00:16:25 and there are spoilers everywhere. Producer Jared's just absolutely got hooked into the show, haven't you? I'm a fiend. But what are you up to now, season two? Season two, episode four. Yeah, it's one of those shows where they have callbacks to all the seasons all the time.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Right. And the characters come and go, and to binge it all at once would be incredible. You know, this is going to cause a ruckus. But I always. I'm always ready for a ruckus. I'm always hesitant to get into a drama. And not hesitant, but like always not in the mental head space.
Starting point is 00:16:56 Yes, right. To sit down and dive into a drama. When there's some seasons ahead of you because you feel like it's a big job. Yeah, and you're going, oof. No, but see. I always talk into a comedy. That's why I love to jump into a drama like that. Because I know that if I like it, it's a big job. Yeah, and you're going, oof. No, but see, that's... I always talk into a comedy. That's why I love to jump into a drama like that because I know that if I like it, it's there to binge.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Yeah, true, true. Like, it's all there. A comedy or an action always seems like the easier undertaking. Yes. Than a drama. Than a drama. Yeah, fair call. You're just going to sit there and...
Starting point is 00:17:20 I don't know if this would be a theme or a possible episode for the TV show Line of Duty, but two police officers in Lancashire in the UK have had to apologise after they were caught kissing in a patrol car in a supermarket car park for 20 minutes. They were kissing for 20 minutes? Yeah, one witness said they saw the officers kissing for 20 minutes in the car park. The witness said the female officer then got out of the patrol car and walked to the driver's side to continue smooching through the window. Oh, new.
Starting point is 00:17:53 That's a new relationship. Yeah, one man said he was so stunned that he began filming the interaction in the supermarket car park. All right. Just let them smoochie. Just let them smooch up, yo. Yeah, but I guess they're on work time, aren't they?
Starting point is 00:18:08 It would be like... No, they were having a break is what they've claimed. You know, they're entitled to their lunch break. Right. Both of them are entitled to their lunch break.
Starting point is 00:18:16 But is that... I mean, I guess it's not illegal, is it, to kiss someone? It's actually quite hot. A lot of people are saying it's inappropriate. Yeah. You know, we look to them
Starting point is 00:18:24 to protect us and they're just kissing busy yeah having a a kiss session laughing joking
Starting point is 00:18:32 and kissing sounds nice sounds nice in the middle of the work day sounds nice I don't know why I looked at either of you when I said that all the while all the while
Starting point is 00:18:40 in a stab proof vest you know that's pretty hot that's hot stuff ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Woke up from a nap yesterday to a barrage of bloody negativity in the group chat. Now, good old last.
Starting point is 00:19:03 This is the end. The end times are nigh. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Bring out your dead. Repent your sins. God is coming. So there's a case of COVID-19 at an airport border worker. This is an airport border worker who works in what is described as the red zone
Starting point is 00:19:26 where planes get clean and items get cleaned. And they picked it up from the plane. Yeah, so they've apparently picked it up from the plane. They have got some close contacts. There's some, this is why we've still got to be scanning in on the bloody scanner, guys. Oh yeah, I've nearly got my badge of consecutive
Starting point is 00:19:42 days. Have you guys got a badge of consecutive days? I haven't been anywhere. Because here at work, when we use our swipe card, it keeps a track of where we've been in the building and everything. But you don't go... There's days where I literally come to work and go home, and that's it. And it's glorious, and that's how I wish every day was.
Starting point is 00:19:57 I wish I never had to stop for petrol or food or anything. You've nearly got my 14-day badge. 14th Street. I've been a bit bad. Well, get... No, I was religious. Hayley. And I've just been a bit bad.
Starting point is 00:20:11 So points of... Locations of interest include... St Luke's Mall Food Court at the weekend, Sunday. Bunnings Newlyn, which is your Bunnings. Did you scan into Bunnings when you were there? I didn't go to Bunnings. Did Aaron scan into Bunnings when you were there? I didn't go to Bunnings. Did Aaron go to Bunnings? Aaron was away at the weekend, wasn't he?
Starting point is 00:20:31 So me can't have gone to Bunnings. It would have been truly one of the only days he didn't go to Bunnings. And Movenpick Dominion Road, all on Saturday, April 17. It appears at this stage the risk to the public appears very low. The person had been vaccinated, but again, that doesn't mean you can't get it. Oh, my God. It just wildly lessens the effects. People in the comments yesterday, see, vaccines don't work.
Starting point is 00:20:53 They're lying to us. This is why we've all got to get vaccinated. Yeah. So Jacinda's going to be on the show later on today. Yeah, she is, 10 to 8. We'll ask her what the latest is. What the vibe is. Pretty keen to hear about the vibe. Yeah, she is. 10 to 8. We'll ask her what the latest is. What the vibe is. Pretty keen to hear about the vibe.
Starting point is 00:21:07 Yeah, I'm keen to get the vibe. You know, I'm pretty keen on a vibe read. Like a vibe check. Okay. And your vibe attracts your tribe. Yeah. No negative vibes.
Starting point is 00:21:16 So, that... Please don't get the Prime Minister of New Zealand on and say... I'm going to ask him a bit of what's the vibe. What's the vibe? I will. What's the vibe at the moment?
Starting point is 00:21:25 Vibe check. What's the vibe? Who will. What's the vibe at the moment? Vibe check. What's the vibe? Who knows how to answer that? What a horrible question. So I've got the top six things that lasted longer than a clean travel bubble with no COVID nowhere.
Starting point is 00:21:35 And to point out, the travel bubble is still go. Yes. It's still okay. It's an area that the public don't... Look,
Starting point is 00:21:43 if we get stuck in some community cases, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe. It's a bit of shame, isn't it, though? Australia gets here, like, this whole time we've been like, New Zealand is nailing it. And they finally get here and we're like,
Starting point is 00:21:54 oh, we're going to be hurt. Sorry. Hello. So a day and a half or thereabouts is how long it was. So the top six things that lasted long in the clean travel bubble. Number six,
Starting point is 00:22:04 the marriage between Britney Spears and Jason Alexander in 2004. That lasted for 56 hours. Really? You didn't even get to 48. Jason Alexander
Starting point is 00:22:14 is the name of the guy that played George Costanza on Seinfeld, but it's not George Costanza as another Jason Alexander. Was he a dancer? Was he a dancer? I think so.
Starting point is 00:22:22 No, that was Kayfied. Kayfied was a dancer. He was. They annulled it anyway. It got annfied. No, that was Kayfied. Kayfied was a dancer. He was. They annulled it anyway. It got annulled. Right, okay. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six things that lasted longer than a clean travel bubble
Starting point is 00:22:32 with no COVID nowhere. The days of Christmas required to give you a true love, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. Yum. Yeah. Didn't even get to the partridge in the pear tree if you were making the direct comparison. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top part which is the pear tree if you were making the direct comparison. Yeah. Number four on the list
Starting point is 00:22:46 of the top six things that lasted longer than a clean travel bubble with no COVID nowhere, Jack Bauer saving the world twice. Yeah. In the show 24.
Starting point is 00:22:54 God, I loved 24. Mmm. Oh, mmm. You did. You loved the box set 24, didn't you? Binged it all when I got adult chicken pox.
Starting point is 00:23:01 Oh, dear. Which is another viral thing that you can be vaccinated against now. Yeah, you can. Can you be vaccinated against? Yeah. You get adult chicken pox. Oh dear. Which is another viral thing that you can be vaccinated against now. Yeah, you can. Can you be vaccinated against? Yeah, you can. You get the chicken pox.
Starting point is 00:23:10 But not when I was a kid yet to go to a chicken pox party. Yeah, you were encouraged. Yeah. Really test that immune system. Thanks, mum, for not taking me on one of those. You couldn't have handled it.
Starting point is 00:23:20 You're a weak child. Anemic. Anemic looking weak child. Didn't eat your vegetables. You only wanted to eat processed meats like luncheon and chicken nuggets. Yum. Number three on the list of the top six things that lasted longer than a clean travel bubble with no COVID nowhere.
Starting point is 00:23:35 People working together as a team to make a short independent film as part of the 48 hour film fest. Oh yeah. You would have done a couple of those in your time. You would have. Do you know what? I've never done it. Haven't you
Starting point is 00:23:45 I know crazy It screams you It used to always Be over a weekend And I was always Marching on the weekends So I never got to do it Should we do it
Starting point is 00:23:54 I always get roped in No I always get roped Into doing something My mates always do One and I'd always Do like a voiceover record Or some sort of audio
Starting point is 00:24:02 Submission And they always Everyone's fighting everyone's tired I know and I'm glad it's happening in Wellington and I'm in Auckland it's a distance thing
Starting point is 00:24:09 Yeah Number two on the list of the top six things that lasted longer than a clean travel bubble with no COVID nowhere Mosquitoes The average
Starting point is 00:24:18 common mosquito's life cycle from start to end is 14 days Oh okay So a mosquito wouldn't have even got out
Starting point is 00:24:25 of its little gross little squiggly larvae thing in stagnant water. Oh, yuck. Blech. And number one on the list of the top six things that lasted longer than a clean travel bubble with no COVID nowhere, kids doing the 40-hour famine.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Yes. You couldn't have even got that done in that amount of time. You're not even famine-ing. You're actually having barley, sugars, and raro the whole time. Yeah, and sneaking along. It's cheating.
Starting point is 00:24:44 Sneaking along. You had a couple of donuts once doing the 40- whole time. Yeah, and sneaking a little. Sneaking a little. You had a couple of donuts once during the 40-hour period. Yeah, same. Mum used to sneak me a couple of buggies. Yeah, I was like, hey, the kids are still getting the money and I'm getting donuts. Yum. Yum.
Starting point is 00:24:54 That is today's top six. Good morning, Phoebe. How are you? Morning. Good, thank you. How are you guys? Good, good. Phoebe, if you win Bluff or Stuff today,
Starting point is 00:25:11 are you ready to have five of the most fun days of your life? Absolutely. All right, well, up for grabs. A five-day multi-pass to Kadrona, Alpine Resort or Treble Cone. You can be the first to ride a new chairlift and explore the Willow Strain in Soho at Kadrona. Amazing. Now, one of us is wearing a snowboarding helmet.
Starting point is 00:25:31 Okay. Well, Phoebe, I'll start because I can't actually hear you very well because the headphones don't fit over the helmet. Of course. Yeah, right. I've got to sort of wear them around the back of my head because they don't go over. You're looking at me. That's what I'm doing.
Starting point is 00:25:47 I'm trying to actually hold my headphones up with the helmet. You can hear me tapping the helmet there. This is what a helmet sounds like. Oh, you just tapped the microphone. No, don't call me out like that. Absolutely. And I can see my reflection. I can see my reflection. I can see my reflection.
Starting point is 00:26:09 And I look pretty silly. You're a good actor. You're a good actress. I do have a degree in acting. Toy Fakade. Is that right? Toy Fakade, yeah. Well, there's no acting degree here.
Starting point is 00:26:22 I can tell you I'm wearing a helmet. It's a general use helmet. It's not specifically a snowboarding helmet. It's a skateboarding helmet. I've used it. It's my helmet. Yeah. Which isn't a lie.
Starting point is 00:26:35 I've used it for... But the rest of what you're saying is a lie. Well, no. Well, you just inferred that the rest of it was a lie by saying that, didn't you? Well, I mean, anything we say, any of us could possibly be lying. This is true. You know what I'm saying? But the one thing I can confirm is that A, I'm wearing the helmet,
Starting point is 00:26:51 and B, it's my helmet. I'm just like rubbing my hand down it. It's so dusty and filthy. Like this obviously sits in your garage and hasn't been used for a while. You can only see that it's dusty and filthy because it's on my head. You wouldn't have known to rub the helmet. No, because I can feel it. I just tapped it. You wouldn't have known to rub the helmet. No, because I can feel it. I just tapped it.
Starting point is 00:27:06 You wouldn't have known to rub the helmet. What it's doing to me, Phoebe, is it's actually choking me a little bit and giving me a bit of a double chin as well. The chin strap, I've put it too tight. That's really good luck. The main reason I grew a beard, Phoebe, is to hide my double chin.
Starting point is 00:27:22 All right, Phoebe, to win the five-day pass, you've got to tell us... Wait, eliminate one person who's definitely not wearing the helmet. Well, first of all, can I just get you all to really quickly try and lean down and put your heads under your desks as fast as you can?
Starting point is 00:27:40 Yeah. Okay. Go. Yep. Yep. Oh, I banged my head because I stuck my head under the desk, but I missed. What do you want us to do now we're down here? What do you want us to do now we're down here? Can you come up one at a time, and as you come up, say your name, but really fast.
Starting point is 00:27:56 Okay. Okay. Fletch. Vaughn. Ah! Vaughn. Hayley. Does that help?
Starting point is 00:28:07 Would a helmet wearer bring their head up slower? Is that the idea? No, you've got the extra inch and a bit on top of your head, so you're not likely to know exactly where your head ends and you're more likely to bang it, which is what I did. Yeah, right. Phoebe, who's definitely not wearing the helmet? So I think Hayley is wearing it because her tapping it sounded very helmet-like.
Starting point is 00:28:36 Right. Oh, so you're just going straight to guessing who actually has it on. Well, this is process of elimination. Phoebe, we can tell you that. Thinking out loud. Are you going to lock in Hayley? She's definitely wearing it. No, not yet. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:28:51 She's not done. Oh, shit. Okay. Was it Fletch who said that it was your own helmet and it's multi-use? No, it was Vaughn's helmet. It was Vaughn. Okay. So I can agree with you that it is multi-use,
Starting point is 00:29:04 but you'd get very sweaty if you decided to go skateboarding in it. You should always skateboard in a helmet. The footpaths are wildly unforgiving. And the curb. 100% you should. But what's the lining like in your helmet there, Fletch? Oh, just hard. Hard?
Starting point is 00:29:24 Fletch is famously quite spongy. Oh, I'm just hard. Hard? Famously quite spongy. Oh, spongy. Fletch is ready for you to close the investigation, I think. He's just like, come on, Phoebe. Come on, mate. We're not here all day. Okay. Well, I don't think Fletch. I don't think that's a skateboarding helmet. It's not going to be hard on the inside.
Starting point is 00:29:42 It's going to be soft and fluffy. I'm just wearing a hat, Phoebe. You're out. So is it Vaughn or Hayley? Lock one in. This is really tough. I'm going to go with Hayley. Best instinct, the tapping. I feel like a mic would be softer.
Starting point is 00:30:00 Give it a tap. That's me tapping the helmet on my head, Phoebe. Because she's wearing the helmet. Congratulations, Phoebe. You've's wearing the helmet. Congratulations. Phoebe, you've won a five-day multi-pass to Kadrona or Tribble Cone. Congratulations. All yours. Thank you so much. Hayley, don't take the helmet off.
Starting point is 00:30:17 You look like a lady who cycles to the supermarket but doesn't take the helmet off when she gets to the supermarket and she does all her supermarket shopping in the helmet. Reliable days, reliable snow, fewer closed days and more fun on the slopes from only $75 a day. The sale ends April 30th. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So, in the evenings,
Starting point is 00:30:35 in the night, in the afternoons, in the PM, in the twilights, the sunsets, the dusks, we'll often communicate via email for the dusks We'll often communicate Via email For the show We'll all just send in A whole bunch of topics
Starting point is 00:30:50 This is what people Talk about This is a thing This is another thing This is what happened To me today Yes Yeah
Starting point is 00:30:57 Neighbor updates And the likes And the like And Carwen just joined The show In official capacity Last week She's on the social media desk She's on the social media desk.
Starting point is 00:31:06 She's on the social media desk. She sends through. Just make sure and look and drop any bombshells and ruin. Spoiler alert for the show. She said, hey, a Dunedin boy's sleepwalked half a kilometre. Maybe we could talk about what you've done in your sleep. Great suggestion. Yeah, great, great suggestion.
Starting point is 00:31:21 Yeah, really strong. Very on brand. Newlyweds return home to their house in flames. Phone her what went wrong at your wedding. Yeah, that's great.. Yeah, really strong. Very on brand. Newlyweds return home to their house in flames. Phone a what went wrong at your wedding. Yeah. That's great. That's great. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:31:28 The tone is perfect. People love talking about their weddings. There's now an app to tell you if what you're posting is racist. That's good to know. Good to know. I mean, if you have to ask, the answer's probably yes. Yeah. Sure.
Starting point is 00:31:39 There's going to be a media shower this week. Oh, okay. We'll put that in there. Oh, these are all great things. Yeah, yeah. Why have we not talked about the media shower? Is that on the sheet? Right.
Starting point is 00:31:48 Michael Keaton to be new Batman. That's the one I read last night. I was like, that is adorable. And immediately a roasting began. I was going to say, it was pretty much a one-man roast because no one else was really roasting Carl. Well, you love Batman. Oh, man, when I was a kid, I think the Batman movies were some of the
Starting point is 00:32:07 first movies I ever saw at the cinema. And I was quite scared because they were quite, like, dark, Tim Burton-esque, Michael Keaton Batman. But Carlin didn't know that Michael Keaton was Batman. It was the original movie Batman. Yeah, this was news to you last night, Carlin, wasn't it? Yes. Okay, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:32:23 What do you know Michael Keaton from? Nothing. He kind of went quiet and then he had a resurgence like in the last few years with Birdman. And the McDonald's one. He was great in the McDonald's one. The founder? Yeah, in the McDonald's movie. He was the vulture,
Starting point is 00:32:39 the villain in the first Spider-Man when they rebooted Spider-Man again. But in the late 80s 90s, he was huge. Michael Keaton was one of the biggest movie stars in the first Spider-Man when they re-bid Spider-Man again. But in the late, what was it, late 80s, 90s, he was huge. Michael King was. One of the biggest movie stars in the world.
Starting point is 00:32:50 Yeah. And he was Batman. And he was Batman. But you'd never known he was Batman. No, I wasn't born then. How old are you? Defendable, defensible.
Starting point is 00:32:58 22. So what did you say? Wait, so does that mean you were born in like 1999? 98. mean you were born in like 1999 So you were born after George Clooney was Batman Did you know George Clooney was Batman?
Starting point is 00:33:12 No Do you know who Val Kilmer is? If it's to do with Batman my Batman knowledge is very lost He was also Batman I'm just naming everybody that's been Batman Who out Ben Affleck? Christian Bale was Batman. Ben Affleck. Did you know Christian Bale was Batman? No, I know
Starting point is 00:33:30 who that is though, kind of. You didn't know Christian Bale was Batman? He's the Batman. He would have been your Batman. I've never seen Batman. Everybody's, we've never seen a Batman. Right, that's it. For the rest of the show, we're not doing anything else. We're just gonna watch Batman. All of the Batman. All of the Batman. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:45 I was Clooney era Batman. Right. You know, the kind of silly, it was a bit silly. Super campy. Camp is kind of silly. Can you say camp? Are you allowed to say camp? Can we get a check if you're allowed to say camp? Are you allowed to say camp? You're cancelled.
Starting point is 00:34:01 It was renowned as like the campy Batman era. And it was who Danny DeVito played the penguin. So he was in Michael Keaton's Batman. Oh, yeah, that's right. Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy in George Clooney's Batman. Yeah. But we were talking, so now we're into Batman. We're doing the Batman, right?
Starting point is 00:34:16 And Carmen's like, look, I didn't know this. I thought this was going to be his first outing as Batman. And he's going to be Batman in the Flash movie. Right. With Ezra Miller. Is that his name? Anyway, he's going to be Batman in the Flash movie. Right. With Ezra Miller. Is that his name? Anyway, he's going to be Batman. But it got us thinking of, like, what have you kind of just learned?
Starting point is 00:34:31 What did people maybe expect you to know, but you weren't born then? Yeah. Yeah, true. Maybe it wasn't your specialty subject. Like, Batman obviously isn't Carlin's specialty subject. Like, Today I Learned. Yeah. That kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the subreddit. Today I
Starting point is 00:34:49 Learned. I was today years old when I learned. Yeah. What did we just tell you? Oh, when we were talking about Schitt's Creek. That the girl that plays Twyla is Eugene Levy's daughter and Dan Levy's sister. Yeah. She's less obvious
Starting point is 00:35:06 looking as a Levy. She doesn't have the brows. She doesn't have the eyebrows. I'm more of a Levy than she is. You are more of a Levy than her. So what did you find out that absolutely blew your mind and shocked you, but you probably should have known a lot sooner? Yeah. Like maybe a fact or something or maybe something historical
Starting point is 00:35:22 or maybe someone had died and you didn't know. Oh, I would love to know if would love to learn something about history like a major part of history like maybe you just learned that the titanic was actually real oh yeah people think that's just a movie don't they yeah did you know that carlwin all right just check carl and did you know that titanic actually happened yes okay i've got to check. I've got to check now. I've got to check everything. You weren't born in 1997. Or 1912.
Starting point is 00:35:50 We want to know, what you've only just learnt recently. After all this time on Earth, you've only just learnt this. Yeah. Carwin, who's just joined our team, thought that Michael Keaton was the new Batman, was brand new to the role of Batman.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Yeah. Not aware he was the Batman., was brand new to the role of Batman. Yeah. Not aware he was the Batman. Yeah, now to be fair, he was Batman a long time ago and she wasn't born when those movies came out. His costume was very cartoony as well. I liked his costume. The latest ones. We were just talking about George Clooney's Batman had nipples.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Yeah, had hot nips. So we want to know what you've only just learned. Rebecca, what have you only just learned? There are speed cameras on the Harbour Bridge. What Harbour Bridge? Auckland Harbour Bridge. The Auckland Harbour Bridge. No, there's not.
Starting point is 00:36:33 Yeah, there are. Yes, there is. What? Are you kidding me? Well, I am not kidding you. I was doing, despite the fact that the on-ramp where I get on the motorway near my house says 80 on the big red circular sign, I always assumed it was 100.
Starting point is 00:36:49 So I was doing 100. And then I got this ticket. And I was like, why the hell did you give me a ticket? And my father was like, well, you were 20 kilometres over the speed limit. I was like, no, I wasn't. I always thought the digital signs weren't like, I thought they were just an indication. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:37:06 Because they're digital. Unless it's a hard sign. It's exactly like those merge lights. Yeah, exactly. My theory is that if it's red and there are no cops around and there's no camera, go for it. You know what, Rebecca? You're the worst kind of Auckland driver.
Starting point is 00:37:23 Yeah. I've probably been on the road with you and cursed your name. Even if someone had only just joined the show and didn't hear a reference in the Harbour Bridge, they'd already guessed you were an Aucklander by the way you drove. I've never seen speed cameras on the Harbour Bridge. They're right on the middle of the bridge,
Starting point is 00:37:38 right at the top of it. In the middle lanes or the outside lanes? No, on the thing that goes over the bridge that you drive. All of the lanes. All of the lanes. That little the thing that goes over the bridge that you drive. All of the lanes. All of the lanes. That little metal thing that goes over it and it has the big black screens on it. There are little cameras on top of it. I thought those were just to watch traffic flow.
Starting point is 00:37:54 Same. I don't know your monitoring speed. Me too. But it turns out, no, no, you get pinged. There you go. Well, you learn something every day. Slow down on the bridge. Slow down. Yeah. The bridge is famously falling down on the bridge. It's breaking. Yeah. The bridge is famously falling apart at the moment. It is unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:38:08 That's why I want to go over it as quick as possible. Because if it breaks and I'm halfway across, I need to have gathered enough speed to dukes of hazard over the bat. Tom, what have you only just learned? Yeah, good morning, guys. Good morning. I just learned that capsicum, there's not three different types. It's just the same thing.
Starting point is 00:38:27 It's just different phases, yeah. Different phases of brightness. Yeah, I learned that. I always just thought that they were all different, eh? Yeah, like a red one was a red one and a green one's a green one. And a yellow and an orange and a... No, they're just in different phases of their lives. So is a green one the early one?
Starting point is 00:38:42 Yeah. Yeah, into yellow. Yeah, the real young one. Oh, you don't like that? You don't like the tart green caps? Come on. No, I'm a red fan. Very fresh. I'm a red. Red's very sweet. I don't mind a yellow.
Starting point is 00:38:55 Sweet. Also sweet. Just to give the stir fry a different colour. You've got to eat the colours, Tom. How many colours have I got in the stir fry? We'll get whatever that one is. Tom thinks he calls some text messages. Somebody said, there's a couple here that are a common theme. I watched The Green Mile for the first time the other day. Now, I was always aware of The Green Mile,
Starting point is 00:39:17 but didn't want to watch it because I thought it was a little bit scary because I always assumed it was based on a true story. No. Even the part where he was sucking the cancer out of that woman with the black flies, I was like, that could happen. And then somebody said, you know this isn't real. I was like, ah. And then somebody else said that they just learnt that
Starting point is 00:39:37 Forrest Gump isn't based on a true story. Aspects of history are in it, but it's fictionalised history. Victoria, what have you only just learned? So, the little piggy who went to market actually wasn't just going shopping. He was going to the meat market, right?
Starting point is 00:39:55 Yeah, yeah. Have you just learned this now? No, three days ago. I text all of my friends that are parents and told them to never teach their child that. Well, if the piggy doesn't go to market, we don't get our delicious bacon. Oh, but we can go shopping.
Starting point is 00:40:12 It's much more fun. I think it's weird that one of the piggies has roast beef. That should be, that's a fun one. You shouldn't feed pigs meat. All the meat, actually, may be worse. Yeah, they'll get a taste for it. They might need to dissect this whole thing.
Starting point is 00:40:28 Yeah. Yeah. It does sound a bit out of, okay, thank you, Victoria. Why did that pig have rice with it? Some other, I just learned, I was singing Ariana Grande's song,
Starting point is 00:40:42 Thank You, Next, and I always thought it was bacon and eggs, and I'd never really listened, but when I was singing it out loud, someone corrected me, and I was like, are you kidding me? You were singing bacon and eggs. Bacon, eggs. Thank you, eggs.
Starting point is 00:40:58 I was just yesterday, I learned that the Falkland Islands are not above Scotland. Now, whenever I hear about the Falkland Islands war, I was always like, well, it must have been near England. Otherwise, why would they have been involved? No, it's Argentina. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:12 Isn't it? Yeah. I only just learned, like, in the last 18 months, it's on the other side. It's on the left, right? No, when you're looking at it, it's on the right of South America. No, it's on the left.
Starting point is 00:41:25 I always thought it was on the left and someone showed me the thing and it, it's on the right of South America. No, it's on the left. I always thought it was on the left, and someone showed me the thing, and it said it was on the right. Someone's about to have an absolute... This is absolutely not my territory at all. Oh, I love when you look up the Falklands Wall, there's always lots of pictures of Land Rovers. Okay, that's beside the point. I'm zooming out.
Starting point is 00:41:39 Oh, it is on the right. Yeah, it is. It's on the right. See, this is what I just learned. I always thought it was on the left. I always thought it was on the left as well. Why did I think that? But then that would be Chile.
Starting point is 00:41:46 It's Chile's side of the dangly bit. It's real close to Antarctica, isn't it? Oh, yeah. That's why it's so chilly. I mean, Argentinian, but it's cold. Yeah. Some other text messages. And my wife, whenever she heard the term battery hens, assumed it was a battery powered hen.
Starting point is 00:42:06 Oh no. But she thought they were toys. She thought they were toys. So she thought a toy was laying an egg. No, she didn't think they were laying eggs. She just thought why do people get so concerned about battery hens? Are they that much of a popular toy?
Starting point is 00:42:22 Obviously never looking into actual photos of a battery hen. Someone said, I was 37 when I learned peanuts grew underground. Yeah, they're a legume, aren't they? They're a legume, yeah. There's a bush that grows on the top of the peanut tree. Nothing on that. All the peanuts are underground like a potato.
Starting point is 00:42:41 Somebody else said, recently learned flake bars don't mount in the microwave. What? They don't know if you mount a microwave with flake bars don't mount in the microwave. What? They don't know if you mount a microwave with flake, it's going to burn. Are you kidding me? I don't remember why. Because it's just cranberry chocolate all over. They'll crumble all over your t-shirt, won't they? Absolutely, they will.
Starting point is 00:42:56 Or over your pavlova. That's where my flakes go. Um, somebody said, I only learned Eeyore was a donkey. What was in their mind what animal was? If you could just let us know what animal you learned Eeyore was a donkey. What was in their mind what animal was? If you could just let us know what animal you thought Eeyore was, that would be helpful. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Last night we were watching television and an ad came on
Starting point is 00:43:19 and it's a zhuzhed up ad for honey puffs. Remember the old ones? It was like, honey puffs. Remember the old ones? It was like, honey puffs are made to stay fresh, stay something, stay something all the time. I keep looking for the honey, honey bees. Honey puffs are yours and mine. Yes. That was like the old one, but now I think the bees rap.
Starting point is 00:43:41 Oh, what? No, they don't. Listen up, listen up. Listen up, we're buzzing in your hood, looking for your flowers. Can get enough of the honey puffs. Yeah, yeah, stop spraying past the side. Yeah, colony collapse is a very real issue for us. You want honey puffs, bitch?
Starting point is 00:44:00 Put the roundup away, what up? That's pretty much it now. Right. Okay, how does the new ad go? Bitch, put the roundup away. What up? That's pretty much it now. Right. Okay. How does the new ad go? Keep looking for the honey, honey bees. I don't know. Just a jazzy new version.
Starting point is 00:44:12 And it's the same. CGI bees. Is it the same song? Kind of. Okay. It's got a familiar element to it. Okay. But it's CGI bees.
Starting point is 00:44:20 Yeah. Not the old hand-drawn bees. Oh, yeah. And anyway, my daughter Indy said to me What do those taste like? Honey puffs I said I can't tell you I've never had honey puffs And it was almost like
Starting point is 00:44:31 The record went And she was like Haven't you? And Sade's like Hold on You're telling me You've never had honey puffs I was like
Starting point is 00:44:38 I've never had honey puffs And she just couldn't believe it She's like Growing up Would you have never Got honey puffs? I was like You've met my mother Of course up, would you have never got honey puffs? I was like, you've met my mother. Of course we wouldn't have got honey puffs.
Starting point is 00:44:49 Yeah, we were the same. We didn't have any. I think we had ricey puff puffs. Ricey. Which were ripoffs of rice bubbles. Ricey poof poofs. Yeah, and you just add like Milo to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:00 Make your own. Make your own Coco Pops. Coco Pops. But you'd go Coco Pops before you went Honey Puffs. Well, that was the thing. Coco Pops over anything. On the very rare occasion that we were treated to, like if we went to our grandparents,
Starting point is 00:45:11 like both sides of my grandparents, he'd get there and they'd be like, what cereal do you want? If we were staying there for a week, we'd be like, Coco Pops. Like the words couldn't get out of our mouth fast enough. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:45:22 And so they'd buy you Coco Pops. If you were given the option of a bougie cereal outside of your traditional rolled oats, Weet-Bix, or Corn Flakes. You would never have opted
Starting point is 00:45:34 for Honey Puffs. That's madness. There's Fruit Loops too. Don't forget Fruit Loops. Oh no, that was a no-no. No, no, we weren't allowed that. We weren't allowed them. They were just colour and sugar.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Two things that young Vaughn had adverse reactions to. I think I'd left home by the time I had fruit. I was like 17 or 18 because I could buy them myself. I'm a big boy now. I'm having my bowl of fruit loops. Honeypuffs, not for me. Nah.
Starting point is 00:45:56 I had them. They're not crunchy, but they're not soft. They're yuck. They taste like they're stale. Yeah, they are disgusting. Oh, that's not for me. I'm glad I've never had them. And then add milk and you're just like,
Starting point is 00:46:06 it's like you're eating those rice cakes. They're like, oh, yeah, no. Yeah, that's... Do you know what I mean? And the honey makes them... I've never even really seen them in person. What do they look like? What are they, a puff?
Starting point is 00:46:22 What are they puffs like? Is it a corn puff? It kind of looks like a round popcorn. Is that what they look like? What are they? A puff? What are they puffs like? Is it a corn puff? It kind of looks like a round popcorn. Ay. Is that what they look like from memory? Is that what they've honey flavoured? Corn? A honey puff. Maze? Yeah, probably. A kernel of corn? Wheat.
Starting point is 00:46:36 It's a wheat. Right. It's weird though that you haven't tried it at least. Never had a honey puff. You've never encountered it. Never had a honey puff. And then we got into the honey puffs got a good half hour of our lives last night. We were talking about honey puffs and then we were like, shut up. I said, how often would you have them?
Starting point is 00:46:51 And she's like, not very often. And I said, did you buy them because of the advertising? And she said, probably. And I said, and then we got into like, why are they still advertising? Surely the company that owns honey puffs would be better to spend their money on another brand worth advertising.
Starting point is 00:47:05 Because honey puffs has been around long enough that if you're going to eat Honey Puffs, you're already eating Honey Puffs. But I think they're newly re-advertising. Yeah, but why bother? Yeah, because they haven't advertised for ages and now the Honey Puffs ad is back and remade. Right.
Starting point is 00:47:22 I'm on board. No. Wait, you're not on board? No, I'm on board. No. Wait, you're not on board? No, I'm on board with you. Oh, yeah, good. Don't bother. Welcome aboard to HMS. Why are you wasting your money advertising honey puffs?
Starting point is 00:47:33 Yeah, look, now it's all gone modern. Honey puffs got a backwards cap. You're surfing a honey puff. Get a grip. Bees can't surf. They can wear hats. I've got wings. Why would they surf? That's very true. If I could fly, I'd give a surf. They can wear hats. I've got wings. Why would they surf?
Starting point is 00:47:47 That's very true. If I could fly, I'd give a surf. Very good point. Right. Yeah. So, yeah. Yuck. Yeah, yuck.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Plain-ass. Do you know what's the worst one? Plain-ass puffed wheat. What's that one? Nutri-grain. Nutri-grain. Thank you. Instantly got it.
Starting point is 00:48:02 I used to eat Nutri-grain when I was younger. But did you do the required amount of exercise after eating? No, absolutely not. That insane amount of sugar? Absolutely not. My mum used to buy it for my brother and honestly, I found the taste of it was feral. It was nicer than honey puffs.
Starting point is 00:48:19 I thought you were going to say it had niacin in it. And I was like, okay, go on. Corn, oats and wheat. Is that what's in Nutri-Grain? Yeah. Corn? Iron Man food. Corn?
Starting point is 00:48:30 Gross. Why is everyone sneaking corn into everything all of a sudden? I don't know. If I'm eating corn, I want it on a cob. Or popped. Yes. Yes. Or in a toasted sandwich that's going to burn my mouth badly.
Starting point is 00:48:42 Yeah, creamed. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Watch this professional padding as we wait for the Prime Minister to call through on the hotline. I shall sit back and observe and learn. A little bit of padding. No, you were meant to be involved in the padding. You can be involved in the padding.
Starting point is 00:48:58 I can pad. Yeah. It's a light. What I'm looking at at the moment light to moderate padding I don't think it's going to require heavy padding right well it is 10 minutes exactly
Starting point is 00:49:10 to 8 o'clock and she is meant to call through at any moment however if she's been doing other media this morning they may have been quite
Starting point is 00:49:17 that's working again that's what we've got to talk about in about an hour's time I've got a I've got a big problem Vaughn yeah Vaughn does have a big problem I've got a huge I've got to talk about in about an hour's time. I've got a big problem. Vaughn? Yeah, Vaughn does have a big problem.
Starting point is 00:49:30 I've got a huge, huge problem. It's a first world problem. I do not want to hear you complain about how your Apple Watch is not working. It's not working, guys, but there's more to it. It's a multi-pronged story. You think it's going in one direction, and then it'll pull you in another. You're down the rabbit hole of trying to fix your own device. I'm talking to somebody online. No, you're talking to a robot online.
Starting point is 00:49:54 Do you think it's a robot? They're a very clever robot. Those little chat bots that pop up, if they're real or not. Yeah, same. Because I think when they respond too fast, I'm like, robot. Yeah. You're not listening to me? You're pulling out keywords.
Starting point is 00:50:07 Sade Rung went online to cancel Sky. Oh, yeah. Finally. What are you, a boomer? I have been fighting to get rid of it for a long time. And she's like, oh, I'm chatting to somebody. I'm like, you're chatting to a bot. And she's like, no, no, no, no, it's somebody.
Starting point is 00:50:23 They're answering. I was like, Sade, you have no idea how clever chatbots are these days. Yeah. Ask it're chatting to a bot. And she's like, no, no, no, no. It's somebody. They're answering. I was like, shut up. You have no idea how clever chatbots are these days. Yeah. Ask it if it's a bot. And she's like, I'm not asking if it's a bot. That's insulting to the person on the other end. I said, it's not. It's definitely not a person.
Starting point is 00:50:33 Yeah. I'll tell you that much right now. Did she ask? So she went through a series of things. And then she's like, yeah, so we want to cancel it. And they were like, oh, like, what's your number? What's your membership number? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:43 And she's like, see, a robot couldn't ask that. I'm like, the robot is getting all the information it needs. And then it said, okay, someone from our team will be in touch. They'll call you on your number. Is this still your number? And she's like, see, a robot wouldn't have known my number. I said, it's in your account. It's in your account.
Starting point is 00:50:59 It's a clever robot. So then we had a furious debate about how clever chat robots had been. And then I made her sit down and watch furious debate about how clever chat robots had been. Right. And then I made her sit down and watch me Google about how smart chat robots are. It was raining yesterday. She was very very sick of me by the time we went to bed. Do you guys remember Smarter Child?
Starting point is 00:51:15 On MSN Messenger? No. And you used to be able to, you'd say something in an MSN Messenger and you used to be able to just chat with a bot. Like back in the early, early 2000s. You didn't have many friends, did you? Like if you went on MSN Messenger and nobody was online, you would
Starting point is 00:51:31 chat with a bot. My dude, I'm so sorry to hear that. No, I used Messenger like in the peak of my emo times, just before my gothiness. And my, you know, he could have an MSC name. He had all the like little.
Starting point is 00:51:46 Yeah, yeah. Symbols and squiggly bits and a tilled sign. Yeah, it was always like, my black bleeding heart dies for you. Tilled, tilled. Like 13, 14 years old. All right. Are we being stood up by the prime minister? Are we being stood up?
Starting point is 00:52:00 They don't know where she is. He doesn't know where she is. Back in my days of the early MSN Messenger was, you rung, no, she can wait now. And if none of your friends were online, you disconnected as quickly as possible because that shit was constant.
Starting point is 00:52:17 You didn't want to say. Yeah, we're going to get you out of here. You didn't want to say. All right, well. Joining us on the phone, good morning to the Prime Minister of New Zealand, Jacinda Ardern. What is it? How are you?
Starting point is 00:52:28 Man, you missed it because you were on the phone with somebody else or whatever, but everybody listening just witnessed some padding, like some absolute professional padding. Sorry, sorry. I think I'm three minutes late. I'm so sorry. No, that's okay. If there's a radio award entry for, like, best padding whilst waiting for guests, I think we just won that one. Yeah, we did. No, no, okay. If there's a radio award entry for best padding whilst waiting for guests,
Starting point is 00:52:45 I think we just won that one. Yeah, we did. No, no, no. Please don't apologise. It was a thing to watch, I tell you why. As a new person to radio, I had an absolute schooling just now. I'm talking shit.
Starting point is 00:52:56 And Hayley didn't even know she was padding, but she was padding. But anyway, the padding's over. Let's get to the meat of the situation. What's the vibe? What's the vibe check at the moment? We've got to do of the situation. What's the vibe? What's the vibe check at the moment? We've got to do a vibe check. What's your vibe?
Starting point is 00:53:09 Oh, good, actually. I mean, I'm still, you know, really excited about the fact that we've got that next phase for us of, you know, bringing back a bit more normal with Australia coming back in. So, yeah, I'm still really, really excited about what happened at the beginning of the week. So that's a personal vibe and sort of a national vibe. Well, that's a bit of both, I guess, yeah. Okay, cool.
Starting point is 00:53:33 So when you got the news yesterday about the case, were you like, oh, not now, not day two of the bubble? No, I mean, look, it's New Zealand's luck is a little bit skew-whiff on these things. So I have to say, I don't know whether or not I always, you know, I'm always prepared for things like that to happen to us. But actually looking pretty straightforward, someone who's routinely tested is being picked up in routine testing. They've had both their vaccinations. And one of the reasons that's important,
Starting point is 00:54:03 it's not because the vaccine stops you getting COVID. It's really good at stopping you from getting sick from it. And it's also, we believe, at this early stage, so waiting for all the research overseas to come in, at this stage, we believe it also reduces the likelihood of you passing it on. So that's another reason we look at that. There was a lot of that online yesterday, Jacinda, people saying, see, I told you the vaccine doesn't work.
Starting point is 00:54:26 No, no. So what the research tells us is 95% effective at preventing symptomatic onset. So that's just a technical way of saying really good at making sure that unlike when most people get COVID, they get unwell and some people get really unwell. It's very good at making sure that unlike when most people get COVID, they get unwell and some people get really unwell. It's very good at stopping that. And so you'll
Starting point is 00:54:50 remember we had a cleaner a while ago and I believe she was a mist cleaner who was also vaccinated. No symptoms. We picked her up through our routine testing. So it stops people getting really sick and that's the really important part.
Starting point is 00:55:05 We don't want people to die. So that's what the vaccine's doing for us. So if it makes, I was just thinking about it. You said it reduces the spread of it, even if someone does have it. That's what we believe. Yeah. Even if it reduces their symptoms and they're not coughing and spluttering, then they're not blinded in people's faces.
Starting point is 00:55:21 That's exactly right. That's got to help. You're spot on. That's exactly why we believe it's likely to. The reason it's hard for us to know that piece of information is because most countries in the world aren't testing vaccinated people. They're testing people who are symptomatic. And if you're not having symptoms, you might still have COVID,
Starting point is 00:55:41 but that's not being picked up. So we are picking up some interesting things in New Zealand because of just the environment we're in. And the person that had COVID that worked at the airport was working on what was called the red zone. Is that right? So they cleaned flights and so they go on and clean the planes after we all disembark. So they're cleaning the planes, including the planes that are coming in from, you know, obviously countries that are carrying people who might have COVID. So, again, we always talk about the fact that the most common way to get COVID is person to person.
Starting point is 00:56:19 But because New Zealand, we are so free of COVID, we're picking up really interesting things including when people are picking it up from non-human to human context. Yeah. Right. Today, the government announcing a significant and I'm reading the headline here, a once in a generation health shake-up. Yeah. Could you give us like a little... Crystals!
Starting point is 00:56:40 Crystals. Everybody's getting a wellness crystal. It's amethyst and zinc. Your Himalayan salt lamp. Yes. Give one of those a lick. And just more indoor plants, really purifying the air. I didn't see that in the speech,
Starting point is 00:56:56 but now that you mention it, a real missed opportunity there. We'll just get it in next time. Rose quartz. Do you know, the really basic and so without giving away too much from, because we haven't quite, I think it's Andrew Little is giving that announcement as we speak. The thing that for us is, we have an amazing health system but there are bits of it that don't work really well. And
Starting point is 00:57:19 for us it's about saying, well, no matter where you live in New Zealand, no matter where you live, you should expect to get, you know, the same high-quality health care as anyone else. That's not really happening the way our system works at the moment. And also, you know, certain population groups are worse off. So for cancer in New Zealand, if you're Maori, you're going to have a worse outcome for every type of cancer with the exception of melanoma.
Starting point is 00:57:45 So there are things in our system that aren't fair, aren't working well, and it needs a good shake-up. And COVID also taught us that as well. Awesome. Well, I like you gave us a little bit. It's quite big. It's quite big. Didn't rain on Daddy Fix Next Parade there.
Starting point is 00:58:00 You're going to let him have his big announcement. I am, I am. But just to give you some context, that's why it is big, because we just think we need to reorganise the whole thing. Cool. Alright, well thanks for the updates and good to know on the vibe, actually. Good to know on the vibe. You'll all be
Starting point is 00:58:15 googling health reforms after this. Oh, heck yeah. I'm looking forward to my salt lamp. Yeah, same. Thanks for the advice. I've got a bit of a scratchy throat. Sniffing amethyst. Pre-purchase the yoga mat, guys. Yeah, get a yoga mat. Get stretching. Prime Minister, thank you.
Starting point is 00:58:34 Well, it's been a fair few days now since the funeral of Prince Philip, but it still stings to think about. But there was a photo released, which, I don't know why it's really making me giggle. This absolutely tickled me yesterday when I saw it. I know.
Starting point is 00:58:50 So, you know, Prince Philip basically designed the whole funeral himself, from the car to the music to, you know, what everything looks like. But he also organised, personally arranged, for the son photographer, Arthur Edwards, to take the photos of the funeral. The official photos for publication. And they organised for him a special hiding spot so that all the photos weren't murkied by a photographer. Yeah. And what they did was they built these fake pillars
Starting point is 00:59:27 and honestly they look like a high school production set. Yeah. Of Spartacus. Like is that what kind of pillars? Is that like a bit of a Greek pillar? So it's like these things here that are out the front, they're like, they're made to look like stone. Yeah, like a turret.
Starting point is 00:59:43 And if you look in there, that's the photographer hiding through it and then his people. They've like, they're made to look like stone. Yeah, like a turret. And if you look in there, that's the photographer hiding through it. And then his people. They've like cut a hole. Cut a rectangle for him to look out of. Like a pink tom at a funeral. He's like a duck hunting my-my. So if you look at it, like it looks like there's no photographer. And then you see the photo that he got.
Starting point is 00:59:59 It's super up close. Oh, yeah, wow. Right by the door of going in with the coffin. And he's hiding. Like he would have been there for so long on his like crouching because they're low. They're not standing right. He would have been there crouching with his little camera, absolutely.
Starting point is 01:00:14 The minute I would have got in there, I would have needed to go wheeze. Now this is a lifelong problem I've had with a good hide. The minute I find the spot, I get into the spot, I'm like, got it. Perfect spot. And then I just automatically need to go wheeze. That's why your private investigation firm hasn't taken off. I've missed so many murders because I had to go wheeze. The photographer, Arthur Edwards, he said,
Starting point is 01:00:38 when his coffin went past my hidey hole. Is that a euphemism? I'm quoting a word for word. When his coffin went past my hidey hole and into the chapel, my last sight of the man I photographed for 40 years, I was overwhelmed with memories of an incredible man. It was a hidey hole.
Starting point is 01:00:59 At a funeral? And this was organised by Philip himself. Would you have a hidey hole at a wedding? No, but photographers at weddings, they're blocking the view all the time. Yeah. First kiss, they're right there. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:13 But then you want those photos, don't you? Some people have the hidey hole photographer for the engagement because it'll be a surprise engagement. They want somebody to be like, hide in that cutty grass. Hide in the cutty grass. Photographer's like, oh, I can't fit. They're like to be like, hide in that cutty grass. Hide in the cutty grass. Photographer's like, ow, I can't fit.
Starting point is 01:01:27 They're like, get in. Get in your hidey hole. Kicking them into the cutty grass. Yeah. Get into that toy toy. It's such a funny image to me amidst so many, amongst so much sadness
Starting point is 01:01:37 is just a little man squatting and peeping out a hidey hole waiting for a coffin to come past. That's the question we want to ask you now this morning. As an adult, when have you had to hide? I do it as a gag sometimes. Okay.
Starting point is 01:01:50 Like if you guys were to pop out, maybe I'll hide under the desk. Hide under the desk, yeah. You know? Or hide in a cupboard if you know someone's going to open the cupboard. And yeah, give them the old blah. Didn't you hide from some door knockers recently? Oh, no, when we lived in suburbia, we had a tall fence, so that was fine. They couldn't see that you were in there.
Starting point is 01:02:12 But then they'd walk down the neighbour's long driveway. The fence got shorter. And you'd see them and you'd be like, hide. And you'd be against the wall. And you'd be like, don't. No, don't. Don't move. It's like we were treating Jehovah Witnesses like they were the T-Rex in Jurassic Park.
Starting point is 01:02:24 We're like, don't move. My kids are like flashing the torchhovah Witnesses like they were the T-Rex in Jurassic Park. We're like, don't move. My kids are like flashing the torch on and off. I'm like, turn off the torch. The little thing. Very heavy, very heavy footed Jehovah Witnesses. But yeah, you'd just be like up against the wall. Yeah. The thing you're overlooking is that Jehovah Witnesses
Starting point is 01:02:41 have very good sense of smell and they can smell you hiding in the lounge. You always hear them by the door. Yeah. Scratching under the door like the rap duels in Jurassic Park.
Starting point is 01:02:50 Guys, I've watched a lot of Jurassic Park recently. Yeah. Under the door, they're clever girl. I'll get you. So, 0800DARLS.N We want to take your calls.
Starting point is 01:03:00 Text as well, 9696. When have you had to hide out as an adult? Maybe you've gone on a stakeout to like find a cheating boyfriend or a partner and you've had to hide in the car or something. I did a lot of hiding when I was a late teenager
Starting point is 01:03:13 for different reasons. What? During the... Did somebody come home? Just some visits. Really? We're talking about hiding as an adult. A photographer at Prince Philip's funeral was in these
Starting point is 01:03:27 like makeshift hidey holes that were made especially for the day so the photographer wasn't in the photos but could get good photos. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:36 So as an adult when you hide it's weird isn't it? Well you're so much bigger when you're a kid you're like I'm going to hide under this bed
Starting point is 01:03:42 and you're like straight under and then you're as an adult you're like I'm going to hide under this bed. And you're like, zhoop, straight under. And then as an adult, you're like, I'm going to hide under this bed. I'm stuck. Shadi, help. If someone sits on this bed, I'm squashed. Yeah. Also, as an adult, you're just allowed to do anything you want.
Starting point is 01:03:58 You know what I mean? I feel like as a teenager or a kid, you're hiding because you've been naughty or something like that. But as an adult, you're like, don't tell me what to do. So as an adult, when have you had to hide? Anonymous, what happened? Oh, basically, there were some robbers who broke into my house. Yeah. And I basically had to hide in the bathroom for a bit.
Starting point is 01:04:17 What? And eventually, I couldn't hear them leaving or didn't know they were in the house. So I unscrewed my window for the bathroom and got out the house and phoned the police. Wow. Was your heart racing? Were you terrified they were going to come into the bathroom? Oh, basically, yeah. So I was trying to see if they were going to leave and basically, well, I had to get out.
Starting point is 01:04:42 I just didn't want to stay there. What did they take? Lucky they didn't need some hand soap or some shampoo and conditioner. Yeah, what did they steal? Oh, there was a laptop and phone, some electronics. The usual. It was pre-COVID, so they weren't off to the toilet paper.
Starting point is 01:04:58 Fair enough. That would have been a hot property. Oh, my gosh. That would have been very scary. I would be so scared. Oh, yeah, definitely. But luckily, it's once. I would be so scared. Oh yeah, definitely. But luckily it's once off and didn't happen again. So that's good. Yeah, nice.
Starting point is 01:05:10 Good hiding, good hiding. Yeah, good hiding as an adult. Thank you, Anonymous. Nikki, when did you have to hide as an adult? So I was with my boyfriend at the time and he was on his restricted. Okay. And we were driving and he spotted his dad coming towards us.
Starting point is 01:05:27 And he made me hide under, you know, where you put your feet, like where the glove box is. Yeah, they fit well, yeah. Under there. And then his dad pulled up next to him, and I had to awkwardly, like, get out of the hiding spot, sit on the seat, and meet his dad for the first time. Oh, no. Oh no.
Starting point is 01:05:46 The shame. And you weren't wearing a seatbelt. Everybody knows if you're carrying passengers on, you're restricted, you put them in the boot. If you get pulled over, you won't be seen. Exactly. Nice. And Nikki, thanks, you called some text messages. I never had a girlfriend to put in the boot
Starting point is 01:06:02 when I was on my restricted seat. Be like, oh yeah, no, no, sweet as a year, we'll go to the movies. One catch, you've got to put in the boot when I was on my restaurant. They're like, oh, yeah, no, no, sweet as a yeah, we'll go to the movies. One catch, you've got to go in the boot. Yeah. Some other text messages about it. Somebody said, at my old job, we had a very creepy customer who used to try to look for my workmate. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:19 One day he showed up and asked where she was. She usually sat behind me, so I turned around and she disappeared. And I was like, I don't know where she's gone. And he went around, he went like looking for her. And then when he left, I found her hiding in the pantry. She was very squeezed in there too. She did really well to get in there so quickly. And also, I feel like that's when you ask the boss to ban that person from coming to your shop.
Starting point is 01:06:43 Yeah, or get a restraining order. Or your workplace. Somebody else said, I'm an early childhood teacher and I've hidden way too many times in hide and seek. It's always so anticlimactic and boring. Save the teachers. We hate hide and seek, especially when kids just give up before they find you. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:02 You're sitting there being like, are we still playing? Are we still playing? Yeah. I'm here. Should I do this? Someone said, I hid out in a tree hut for two days. That was actually quite a little adventure.
Starting point is 01:07:13 No backstory as to why they hid in a tree hut for two days. Why? I need to know why. We'd love to know more about that. My sister and I were at a friend's house and thought someone was trying to break in, so we hid. And then in a panic started making weird
Starting point is 01:07:25 noises to try to scare them. We were like, It turned out they were construction workers. Oh, right. They just got on with the job that they were hired to do. Somebody else said, I once thought I had a great hiding place. I
Starting point is 01:07:43 dove under a table and I was like, they're never going to find me under here. And then I looked up, it was a glass top table. So I had to scatter and find another place to hide, but I got caught. Oh dear. That's a great hiding as adults. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM.
Starting point is 01:08:03 Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about cats. Yes. And their nipples. Okay. How many nipples does a cat have? Boy or girl? Do boys have nipples. Okay. How many nipples does a cat have? Boy or girl? Do boys have nipples?
Starting point is 01:08:28 Yeah, my boy cat, he over-grooms his nipples. A bit of nipple stimulation. Over-grooms them? Yeah, so he like rips out all the fur around his nips. So he's got exposed nips. Oh, really? How many nips does he have? Two.
Starting point is 01:08:42 Maybe they were overheating. Maybe. He's very fluffy on the belly. What about Major Murray Fluffington? Check the nip. I think I've seen a nips. Oh really? How many nips does he have? Two. Maybe they were overheating. Maybe. He's very fluffy on the belly. What about Major Murray Fluffington? Check the nip. I think I've seen a nip. Right, you've seen a nip. I've seen our nip but they're very covered because he's very fluffy. He's real fluffy. Well I will tell you male cats and female cats have the same amount
Starting point is 01:08:58 of nipples. No they don't. No they don't. They do but there's more to this fact. So female cats, let Okay, so female cats Let's concentrate on female cats How many nipples does a female cat have? Is it six? I want to say six or eight
Starting point is 01:09:11 Six for the bubbers? Here it is Some cats can have four nipples Some cats have six nipples Some cats have Eight nipples And some cats have ten nipples. Yeah. Some cats have eight nipples. Oh. And some cats have ten nipples. Ten nipples.
Starting point is 01:09:28 It varies. It varies from cat to cat. It can be as few as four or as many as ten. Imagine if humans were like that and I just took my shirt off and I had eight nips. But you only had two. Yeah, I think I'm happy with two. People talk about the third nipple, but it's not a functioning nipple. They have rows of nipples, the cats, two rows.
Starting point is 01:09:49 That's why it's generally an even number. But if your cat has an odd number of nipples, that's no harm, no foul. Yeah, right. That doesn't affect the cat's health. And male cats are the same. Male cats have different amounts of nipples. I'm going to go home and count Major Murray Fluffington's nipples. Rolly's definitely got two.
Starting point is 01:10:07 But maybe I'll find some further up. You're going to find some more. His are quite low down. You can only see them because he's over groomed. He's aggressively over groomed. I've never even seen our cats. We've got two male cats. I've never seen their nipples. Hairy underneath.
Starting point is 01:10:24 Never gone looking for them. Theyy underneath. Yeah, right. Never gone looking for them. They won't let you touch their belly. They would for like a little bit, but I could all go horribly wrong. You've got a split second before your hand is shredded. You have to really... Now Raleigh's open. Yeah, same.
Starting point is 01:10:37 He loves it. Yeah. Well, he over grooms it, so, you know. Yeah, he loves the belly. He probably doesn't mind a bit of a nipple tweak. Nipple tweak. Nipple tweak. Nipple tweak during a belly scratch. Yeah, so today's fact of the day is cats have different amounts of nipples.
Starting point is 01:10:50 There's no set amount. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I've been here for about three months now, which seems absurd, covering Megan on her maternity leave. And you would have noticed, and I think it really tickles you, Fletch in particular, how much I love promos, how much I love radio, you know, the fuel, the free fuel. Secret Sound.
Starting point is 01:11:29 I love the beat, the bomb, the secret sound. The day we gave away Secret Sound and you weren't here, we got a message. It was like, F you. You know I wanted to be there. We're like, we could unhelp it when the person gets it right. You should have told them to wait. She's very angry.
Starting point is 01:11:44 But one of my absolute favorites is of course coming up the long weekend group toot yes on friday it gets my heart racing it absolutely i just it brings a christmas grin to my face but i did think um you know you've done it a couple of times now and i and i did think that it needed a bit of a shake up. Okay. Perhaps a bit of rebranding. I am leaving soon and I wanted to leave my mark on your show. So me and some of our team have worked on a little something
Starting point is 01:12:14 to share with you now. Because I've been sent a Vimeo link. Yeah. So there's something to watch as well as listen to. Is that correct? Indeed. So Fletch, you can watch.
Starting point is 01:12:26 You two can watch. Okay. And listeners, you can listen. This is the new Long Weekend Group Toot theme song. Can I say this is very presumptuous? This is a round to stay. This is the new Long Weekend Group Toot theme song. It's called I'm Horning.
Starting point is 01:12:45 Wow. Continuing this spray of'm Horning. Wow. Continuing this spree of complaints that I've had. Learning what's appropriate to say on commercial radio. Okay, hold on. Volume up. I think this is all right. Can you see any problems here before I press play? No, it looks fine.
Starting point is 01:12:58 Because I'm going to press play and the mute's going to be on. You're up. Yeah, we're ready to go. We're ready to go. Oh, my God. That was gratuitous. But I can't find the telephone I sent a message through the internet But it rejected I wrote a letter and I sent it with a post The post, it takes so long
Starting point is 01:13:32 So I've got to sing this song To let you know how I feel What's the deal, baby? And I can't wait for you And the things you make me do My heart is ringing So I'm singing this song for you I'm horning, horning, horning, horning
Starting point is 01:13:49 So horning I'm horning, horning, horning I'm horning, horning, horning, horning So horning I'm horning, horning, horning in the morning That is your new long weekend group two theme song. I love it. Hor morning in the morning. That is your new long weekend group two theme song. Oh, I love it. Morning in the morning.
Starting point is 01:14:08 And the video's great as well. Absolutely. You've got a steering wheel there. That will be up online for everyone to enjoy. But that was particularly for you. Wow. That's lovely. Love it.
Starting point is 01:14:20 It's up now, in fact. It's up now on the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan social media. There we go. Check it out. I love that. That is so great. You have no idea how hard I had to make sure I was saying horning. Horning.
Starting point is 01:14:32 I did notice you did over. New Zealand as well. Horning. I'm horning. Love it. But yeah, I'm really fizzed for the long weekend group too, coming up on Friday. Yeah, 8 o'clock.
Starting point is 01:14:44 Hold on. My dad's messaged. on. My dad's. Oh, dad's messaged. Okay. My first review. She is so, so clever. That's good. That's a good review from him.
Starting point is 01:14:54 It's been a while since a live feedback from my dad on the show. Oh, bless you. Yeah, fantastic. All right, well, the Long Week in Group 2, now with its new theme song. Make sure you join us from 8 o'clock on Friday. Now for the story, to get the full effect, I need to take you back 11 months ago. Okay.
Starting point is 01:15:15 You may remember lockdown, six weeks lockdown, which I loved. But I also was that person that's not like, you know what, this is lockdown. I'm not going to like freak out about not being able to go to the gym. You know, I'm going to get outside if the opportunity presents itself. But I'm also not going to say no to snacks. I feel like we all need snacks.
Starting point is 01:15:34 And I came out the end of lockdown a little bit heavier than I went in. Yeah, same. I reckon I smashed so many mint. I went through a bit of a mint slices. Those mint slices phases during that six week lockdown. That was so bad. We were like,
Starting point is 01:15:48 chips, and then like, you can't go to bed on the savoury, so you have to have a bit of sweet, and then you have a little bit more savoury. Snacks all day, because there's nothing to do. Insane amount,
Starting point is 01:15:56 like there was a lot of drinking. Yep. I just feel like, you couldn't go out, so you're doing your drinking at home, and then, well you can't leave that bottle of wine half drunk, because it'll go to vinegar. So, you should just at home. And then, well, you can't leave that bottle of wine half drunk because it'll go to vinegar.
Starting point is 01:16:05 So you should just eat it. And then I got onto like stews. I was making like big stews. Yeah, same. Because I had the time. Coming up with different recipes, breads and stuff, baking. Never made my own bread in my life. And the KGs piled on.
Starting point is 01:16:19 They got on. Piled. Of lockdown. Folded on. Me and the KGs rolled upon us. The KGs just rolled in like the tide. So at the end of it, myself and three mates, we were really close friends. We all kind of encouraged each other.
Starting point is 01:16:39 We were all going to do it. Over a month, how much weight could you lose? Oh, yeah, okay. And we were saying, what did you do for activity today? When you started the challenge, did you all have to weigh yourself? Yes, and we had to take a photo of Did you put some rocks in your pocket?
Starting point is 01:16:54 Because that's a little handy tip if you're doing an office weight loss challenge. Rocks in the pocket. Put heavy stuff in your undies. You drink as much water as you can in an hour or two leading up to the biggest loser weigh-in. And then already that day, you're off to a 2kg winning start. Yeah, the next day it's gone.
Starting point is 01:17:11 Boom. No, but we were just kind of being honest about it. Yeah. But then... Honesty. Boring. Fascinating. It's a fascinating take.
Starting point is 01:17:20 Yeah. So I was using my Apple Watch to keep a tally of like calories burnt so if you were going to go for a run you'd be like outdoor run away I go
Starting point is 01:17:29 and it's called closing the circles there's a stand circle so you've got to stand for at least one minute every hour for 12 hours of the day that's why sometimes
Starting point is 01:17:37 during the show your watch will just beep and Vaughan will stand up I'll stand I'll push my chair away and I'll stand which they love at the social media desk
Starting point is 01:17:43 because they have to follow you with the camera keep them on their toes and then there's another circle and that's how many I'll push my chair away and I'll stand. Which they love at the social media desk because they have to follow you with the camera. I keep them on their toes. Yeah. And then there's another circle and that's how many minutes of exercise you did that day. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:51 So when you go for a run it just automatically starts counting. So there are three rings to close. And the outside one is calories burnt. Right. And that's just for monitoring your heart rate and stuff.
Starting point is 01:17:59 So at the start of that challenge I closed all three rings every day for that month. Yeah. And won. I won the challenge. Oh, yay. Granted, most of them stopped doing it about two weeks in,
Starting point is 01:18:09 but I'm very stubborn and I really like winning things. You are. So then at the end of that, I was like, I've done that for a month. I could probably do it for another month. Well, they say three weeks is the amount of time to get a routine, right? Yes. Break a routine and start a routine. And then even like when we went into other lockdowns,
Starting point is 01:18:24 if I couldn't go to the gym or whatever, I would go for a run or I'd do like a big walk with the family. I'd do some exercise. You were closing rings every day. I did it for two months in a row. I was like, there's no reason I can't go for 100 days, which is just over three months. I had 100 days.
Starting point is 01:18:41 I'm like, 100 days. Smashing goals. There was a couple of days in there where I didn't feel like doing it, but I did it anyway. You wanted to close the rings. I got to 200 days. I'm like, 100 days. Smashing goals. There was a couple of days in there where I didn't feel like doing it, but I did it anyway. You wanted to close the rings. I got to 200 days. Wow. And I was like, I could do a whole year.
Starting point is 01:18:53 Yeah. And as of today, I am at 335 days in a row, closing all three rings. Oh, so close. There's been days where I've been hung over. I've like, I've gots to. Yeah. I've gots to do something. So I've been out and done something.
Starting point is 01:19:06 I'm 30 days away. Do you know what happened last night? What? My Apple Watch died. You're not going to close the rings today. I've got no, hold on. Sometimes it makes a noise. As to what's not in the moment.
Starting point is 01:19:20 So the display got a bright white line down the side. I sent you a photo. I was like, has yours done this? What's the vibe? And then literally like five minutes later, it was just like gone. Vaughn sent some very panicky messages to me last night, like I was some kind of Apple tech service desk. Help.
Starting point is 01:19:35 Help me, Apple genius. What do I do? Help me. So, yeah, I went to the gym before work this morning because we've got some stuff happening after work. And I like tried to get it to do things. went to the gym before work this morning because we've got some stuff happening after work and I like tried to get it to do things but look, so I've done 64
Starting point is 01:19:50 minutes exercise but I've definitely burnt more than 600 calories. 1400 calories is my goal every day. I've definitely, because I was keeping a tally on the machines that I was working on and it was like 1600 by the time I left the gym. No, this is from today. So it's monitoring that something's happening,
Starting point is 01:20:06 but not the full experience of the workout. You're not going to close the ring. You know what? I am. I'm going to go and buy a new one. I am not falling short of the 365 days. I don't give a goddamn. Nothing's going to stop me.
Starting point is 01:20:18 What are you going to do with your broken one? I'm going to send it in to get fixed. And then what? And then when it gets fixed, I'm going to give it to Sade. But why don't you just do the same amount of exercise knowing that you would have closed the ring? Exactly. It's not going to send it in to get fixed. And then what? When it gets fixed, I'm going to give it to Sade. But why don't you just do the same amount of exercise knowing that you would have closed the ring? Exactly. It's not going to get...
Starting point is 01:20:29 I have, but it's not going to be in there. But your body is still getting the physical effects. It's not going to be... I'm not going to get the badge, the achievement. The numbers are all going to be gone. He's hot. I know. 135 days every day.
Starting point is 01:20:39 It's like, congratulations, you got your longest move strength. It's 300 and then we're going to have 300. And then the fact that you're fit, you're looking good, you're feeling good. Yeah. Do you want to borrow my watch and just reset it? Reset it to me. And then you can use mine while yours gets fixed. And then close those rings.
Starting point is 01:20:53 Because I don't care that much about not wearing my watch. I would absolutely like love, I'd owe you one. So you can close your ring. So I can close the rings. Let's do that. And you've got a backup on your phone, and I've got a backup on my phone. And then all I've got to do is close these goddamn rings.
Starting point is 01:21:09 Well, this thing's been sent away. I get to continue my streak. That's the nicest thing you've ever offered to do for me. Vaughn is genuinely quite overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed by your act of compassion. Wow. Okay.
Starting point is 01:21:22 That would be so kind of you. I've got to get my 365 days. We'd hate to get in the way of that. There were days where we went on holiday and they were eating and the drink and I was like, I've got to do something. Because of the rings. Because I've got the rings. And then what do I do when I get to 365?
Starting point is 01:21:38 I kind of almost wish I hadn't offered now because just to see what would happen tomorrow. Yeah, I think you need a break. Just so you know that the rings aren't controlling you. The rings aren't controlling me. I'm not Smeagol. I'm not like Malpoint. You look very red in the face.
Starting point is 01:21:54 I can give it up anytime I want. Or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music lives here. ZM.

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