ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 21st May 2020

Episode Date: May 20, 2020

Community Notices  Top 6 - National Leaders  What hobby expenses are you embarrassed about?  Producer Jared is making friends with Management  Fact of the Day! Day! Day!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's all thanks to McDonald's. Your Macca's favourites are back at drive-thru and McDelivery. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. How are you feeling, Vaughan? Um, I'm okay. Okay. I had a good sleep last night.

A long one. Great. Cool. Early night. Great story. Yep. Well, you asked me how I was You started this train You're right I did

I did I did ask Yeah how are you? Yeah really good How are you? Good thanks I'm great Man this is done

You've got a A really warm Follow up to why I'm good Yeah Well I'm good Because I get my cat tomorrow My kitten I'm pretty excited about it

You've got something on the horizon Yeah What time is Sir Puss Puss arriving is Sir Puss Puss arriving? In the afternoon. Like a vehicle or an aeroplane? He's getting choppered in.

Helicoptered in. Lowered down to the apartment. Only the best. Megan, why are you good? Because you've got that warm jacket on. That looks really warm. What does the thickness of that look jacket on. That looks really warm. Got a warm jacket on. What is the thickness of that?

It looks like an inch. I don't know. Yeah. Very thick. How cold was it this morning? Oh, well, let me give you the rundown. You look like that guy on the ad who works for Pink Bats. I look like a pink bat. Yeah, you do.

But not pink. She wears a pink bat suit. Kind of a tan brown. No, that's what pink bats look like when you've got a real old house. Oh, yeah, because they've faded. You ever pulled real old a real old house. Oh, yeah, because they've faded. You ever pulled real old pink bats out of a house? Yeah, because it's faded. Yeah, she's pretty chilly around the country.

The coldest place, eastern Rangitaiki. Minus 7.4 at the moment. Taupo, minus 3. Hamilton's minus 1 at the moment. Macedon, minus 2. Everywhere else, just in the just in the single figures. Yeah. Not officially winter yet, is it?

No. Not for another week or so? Yeah, June, July, August, right? September, October, November. December, January, February. Yeah. The top six is coming up on the show. Yeah, look, there might be a coup, a leadership coup in the National Party.

Some fella has come out and said he'll have a go. Salman Bartosz. Yeah, a guy that no one's ever heard of, whose first office picture had a Trump hat that said, Make America Great Again in it. Did it! Let's not go down that path. Oh, no.

Tunker, Tunker. again in it. Did it! Let's not go down that path. Oh, no. Tanka. Tanka. But to be honest, the National Party ranks aren't bulging at the seams with leadership types. No. So I've got the top six leaders that could see the National Party to a victory in September. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

ZM. Some people are being put off by a, it's a makeup place, Mecca. Right. Because they are using those temperature gun checkers to let people into their stores. I want one of those so bad. I don't even need one. But I just, I don't know why it's so futuristic and cool. I want someone to do it to me. I don't know why.'s so futuristic and cool. I want someone to do it to me. I don't know why.

But then I see it on the news and it looks very confronting when someone is pointing a gun at your head to read the temperature. We have them at the cafe because you have to do temperature checks on food and everything. It's like a laser. Like a laser temperature. Could I just put that on my head?

Yep. Oh, well I've got one. Does it have the display on the background, on the back of it, that tells you that God, I don't know why they look so futuristic. I like the ones that would also put the display on whenever you were temperature checking. Like on the head. Yeah, so they'd be like shooting on people's heads and then it would come up on their head.

So they're doing this and some people are saying it's put them off. So if anyone has a temperature higher than 37.5, they're not allowed in the store. What were you running last week when you had a fever? At the peak? Yeah.

I had 39.9 one night when I woke up in the middle of the night with the mad sweats. I took my temperature. That was as high as it got. Hovered mid 39s for a while. High 38s, yeah. Good Lord. Well, you wouldn't have been able to get into Mecca.

I would have. Hey, Mecca, please. They've said they are added health and safety measure. Because some people are finding it confusing going to retail stores and being asked for details because retailers do not have to do that. Well, this particular person said they went to one in a mall. And everywhere else they went, they could just go in.

And then when it came to Mecca, they had to be scanned. So are they just like covering their ass or something? They don't have to, but it's good that they are, I think. They're protecting their staff, taking an extra measure to protect their staff. Well, they did say all their staff, everyone there that enters the store has to do it as well. So it's not just the customers. But then what are they going to do if they find someone that's running a high temperature? They're just going to say, you should be at home, mate.

Yeah. Do you know you've got a temperature? You can't come in here, go home. Yeah. Everyone at risk. Yeah. Do they get the Mecca police? Yeah.

But then they also have testers and stuff. I haven't been in recently, so I don't know if all the testers are out. Surely they've stopped that. I saw somewhere on the news they talked about makeup places with testers and everything. They're a thing of the past. Wow. They're a thing of the past. If the Mecca place that you mentioned before weren't robots, man, you'd be disappointed.

Mecca PD. The Mecca PD. That's got Robocop written all over it. They've got lipstick tasers. So it looks like a lipstick, so you can keep it in your purse, but you just wind it up. Gotcha.

Yeah. That would be better. 12 past six, coming up, the latest community notices. Weird and wonderful things from your local Facebook page. Yes, we've still got a few

COVID-related community notices, but a lot of community pages returning to the usual sort of Karen-esque behaviour you can always expect. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM Open. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's community notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we see what's happening around New Zealand

according to local Facebook pages. This one's just been sent to me. Okay. By Executive Intern Anya. Thank you for your role in Community Notices today. This comes from the Birkenhead and Northcote Community page. Tracy, which you would say is second only to Karen when it comes to complaint names,

has lodged this public complaint. Nice one. Insert supermarket here. I'm not going to say what supermarket it is. Well, there's only two that it could be, so okay. It could be one of the smaller ones. Sure. It could be a boutique-y one.

Yeah, okay. There's three big ones. Who you got? New World, Pack and Save, Countdown, Foursquare. Fresh Choice. Fresh Choice. Farrow Fresh. That other one that looks a bit like them.

Nosh, is this the one? Yeah, but I'm talking about in this area. Yeah, well, maybe she travelled. Maybe she did travel. So it says, nice one, insert supermarket here. Your attitude when my husband returned with chicken cordon bleu that he'd only purchased this evening after he opened the bag to discover it was off

was not handled well. The smell of it was disgusting. You could have killed someone. Even speaking to management, you didn't seem to care, hoping that no one else bought anything in the butchery cabinet, as everything would have been affected by this stinky chicken cordon bleu.

Okay, wow. And somebody said that cordon, that would have cordon blew your ass out. But they didn't refund them or something? Well, no, they're probably gonna refund, but they were probably like, oh something No they probably got a refund But they were probably like Oh yeah we're a busy supermarket So I don't know

What do you want to sit down And chat about this or Do you want me to Cry and apologise Yeah Did you check It wasn't a blue cheese In the cordon bleu

Which would be delicious But it could have been smelly And you know Tracy's They don't know much cheese Outside Edam Could have been a cordon bleu Rather than a bleu Yes A cordon bleu rather than a bleu. Yes.

A cordon bleu with blue cheese would be delicious. Who's buying from the cabinet anyway? You mean like that from the deli? Yeah, the stuff they... Because I'd imagine if I ran a supermarket, I'd use the chicken that was nearly expired and then zhuzh it up with... Because that's what they do with marinade, don't they?

They marinate the old chicken. I think you'll find there's quite strict health and safety. I don't think they marinate the old chicken. They do, they do. There's very strict health and safety measures when it comes to deli foods. They might marinate an older steak, but I don't think you roll the dice on chicken.

No. Do you? I think you marinate the chicken that didn't look that nice. I don't buy marinade stuff. I know you, supermarkets. What are you doing? He's on to you. I'm on to you.

Oh, we've got bloody conspiracy theory over here. Oh, bloody, just call me Pete Evans. He's 5G. 5G makes the marinade go off. Yeah, it probably does. Here we go. Let's go to the Marlborough Cool Cat chat page, which is in Marlborough. Yeah.

Does anyone know who lives at, and the address has been scribbled out, as the gate is padlocked so I can't knock on the door, and your dog is on your roof. And attached is a photo of a dog on a roof. How did the dog get on the roof? Very pleasing. Right on the peak. Yeah.

Wow. It's just sitting up there. What a great view. You know how dogs always want to see what's happening? Yeah. He'll be able to see the whole street. And he'll be able to smell the whole street. Yeah.

That's a dog's dream to be on top of a roof. No word if the dog got off the roof. Okay. No word at all. From the East Auckland Grapevine, Kelly writes, Keys found in the Mervale Reserve. They're hung up on a pile of, they are now hung up

on a pile of cut down pine trees. And it actually, the photo of the keys has a key ring that said, if these keys are found, please return to Crockers at 525 Manukau Road, Epsom, Auckland. And everyone's like, why don't you return it to Crockers? As per the instructions, rather than just leaving it on a pile of cut down pine trees,

which sound like they could be going through a chipper. It's a lot of effort though, isn't it? If you find some keys and it's like, please return here. Yeah. Like, at least I can just drop them in a mailbox. Eh. And walk away. Eh.

Yeah. And finally today from the Te Puke Community Notice Board. Oh, who's that from? Read it out. Well, it's just from Mountie. Oh. She's sending stuff through to the group chat. Ah, sorry.

It's your phone, please. Oh, my God. How's about these caramel mallow puffs, by the way? Oh, yeah. They look yum. Can you buy them or were they homemade? No, there's a little place in a cafe doing them. Oh, Tracy will get them home and think they're ordinary mallow puffs that have gone off.

Yeah, she will. Debbie writes on the Teee Pooka community notice board, My husband is such a wonderful soul. He's a bit naughty and annoying, but he has the biggest heart and loves this crazy Welsh dragon. What more can one ask for? What? I don't know.

That's all. Is she the Welsh dragon? She's the Welsh dragon. Right. Someone said, has your husband got your phone? No, I'm just letting everybody know I'm blessed. Wow.

Okay. What did she do? Because if this was a guy doing that, we'd all be like, what did he do? Yeah, you'd be like, he's cheating. Yeah, but what's she done?

Probably like burn the house down or something. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to ours. FVM ZM. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast ZM. So check out free self-service could be happening.

This is Woolworths in Australia. So they're the countdown people. Countdown peeps. Yep. So they're looking into it. And I mean, now the way the world is, there's a greater appetite for contactless. And I guess that includes people at checkouts. So they're looking into a way that customers can do this in some stores where items are scanned with a mobile app on your phone and paid for without interacting at a checkout.

So with the app, you can scan the product with your phone, walk through the store, and you pay in the app before tapping off at a kiosk in the self-serve area. So it's called a scan and go lane. I don't know what tapping off does, because there's got to be some way where you scan your products and put them in your basket,

but then how do they know that you've scanned everything in your basket? Well, yeah, either that or maybe the basket's weighted, like a self-service checkout. Maybe that's what they mean by tap and go. Maybe you have to put the basket on a... But then every aisle, it'll be like, unexpected item in the basket. But if it's got, yeah, the weight logged in your app,

and then it would know exactly how much your basket is supposed to weigh. But I haven't, self-scanning your groceries has been around for ages. Because Pack and Save didn't Pack and Save have done it for ages? Do they still do that? And you used to get a gun, like a scanning gun. Yeah. And scan everything. As you go.

As you go. That's how they do the online shopping orders. The click and collect. Yeah. I've never done it. Yeah, but you can trust them. But I've seen the lady

walking around and as she puts things into that little box, she gives it a doot. A scan, yeah. And then they ship it away. But then you kind of have already paid for it, right?

Because when you order it online, it's at that set price. But the thing is, like, there are dishonest people out there. That's what I'm thinking. Even if there was a tap and go and it's weighing the basket, people would just take something out of the basket and hold it and then put it back in and, you know? So there's a way that people could, yeah, rig the system. Because I'd be pissed if I spent all my supermarket shops

scanning everything and then you got to the end to pay and they're like, we're going to do a check and then they scan everything. Right. Like, what's the point of all that time you've spent? Well, no, that's just what has to happen for randomly. Well, then I'd just rather not bother and just have it go to the checkout or scan it myself.

Do you know what I want to do is put everything in your bag, just go around the supermarket, have like a bag, a reusable bag, and then when you go out through the doors, I don't know the logistics of this, but it just knows what you've got and then it charges your phone. It charges your... You're talking about those little RF stickers that also know like when you walk out that you've got something.

But it would need, you'd need to go through slowly because it couldn't do it all at once, could it? Yeah. So these Amazon Go, I've just Googled, because I remember seeing a news story about this. Amazon Go, they made these, they're trialling these stores in America where it uses shopping technology.

So basically, it's checkout free. And so you sign up and you grab all your items. And I guess it uses RF and all this technology. And then you walk out and you grab all your items, and I guess it uses RF and all this technology, and then you walk out and you just get charged for what you've taken. Yeah, see, I want that. That's easy as. It just knows what you've taken, and there's no way to cheat it. So, I mean, in five

or ten years, this is probably how we're going to be shopping. We'll just put a chip in my wrist, and I scan the things against my chip, and then when I walk out, the door scans the chip in my wrist, and then it I walk out, the door scans the chip in my wrist, and then it charges my phone, which I've loaded onto the chip in my wrist. What if you get declined?

Your wrist blows up. You don't have a hand anymore. You just walk around and see people with their hands. You're like, shame. Can I go into overdrive? Yeah. Nope. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Of course, a lot of people wanting overseas travel to return. But unfortunately, we're way away from that until there's, I guess, a vaccine or a drug that works. Yeah. To help fight COVID. We're not going anywhere. I saw Bali saying they want to open by October. Okay, good luck.

But then also, if you go to Bali and it's open to Australians. Okay, good luck. But then also, if you go to Bali and it's open to Australians as well, it's going to be worse than usual, like just full of Aussies. Yeah, because the Europeans won't be there to balance it out. Nah. Yeah. And of course, there's been talk of an Australian

overseas bubble. Yeah, but they've had some flare-ups this week. Yep, they have. So, you know, that's not an option yet. There's so many amazing places to see around this lovely country of ours. Oh, there is. Have you been thinking, like, about where you'd want to go in New Zealand?

Yep. Yep. Oh, do you want us to say? Like, well, I mean, because is there anywhere you haven't been? I haven't been north, far north, like past Bangare.

Oh, beautiful. Some of the country's best beaches and bays and camping spots. Beautiful. I lost your

camping spots, didn't I? Yeah. I've never been to the west coast of the South Island other than

Greymouth. Yep. When we went for wild food. Yeah, but I haven't been down like Franz Joseph and I've to go there just for a bit of Grey Mouth. Yep. When we went for wild food. Yeah, but I haven't been down like Franz Josef. Oh, it's beautiful.

Just for a bit of a gander. Yeah. I want to go to the like Twizel and McKenzie country where you can look at the night sky. Twizel. Oh yeah, that looks great too. That looks like a top spot.

Well, the Chatham Islands have put their hands up as a travel bubble because it is, you know, it's part of New Zealand. It is a small island, about 800km off the coast. It's so far out. I always thought it was closer.

It's like well far out. You can get flights out there. I always see those planes. I'm like, I don't know about that. It's 800km off the coast of Christchurch. It's about the same longitude. And it's home to 600 people. And apparently it's, you know,

it's tourism sector's hurting as, you know, as is ours. But I've never really heard of it as a place you'd, I mean, I'd go, but I... I've seen a couple of episodes of Country Calendar set at the Chathams, and I reckon it looks pretty great. It's right up your alley, isn't it? Right up my alley.

But what is it? Do you do the... Yeah, good question, Megan. I think you just... Relax, read. Enjoy the windswept vistas. Yeah. It's been described as what

New Zealand might have been like 20, 30 years ago. Megan just screwed up her face. Has it nothing to do? I think it'd be awesome to go and have a look. They reckon about 2,000 people pre-COVID visited

the Chatham Islands. Yeah, because it would have hit, when it hit, it would have been the end of their tourist season, right? So it would have cost them some money. How big is it?

Not very big. Like, it's a little island. Right. It's only 600 people on it. But it doesn't sound like they have zip lining, does it? Oh.

Do they have zip lining? I don? Oh. Do they have zip lining? I don't know. What is it? Is it like Waiki Island? Like, does it have, like, wineries and stuff? I don't know. I don't think so. I think it would.

I don't know. Does it have Airbnb? Or do I have to go? Well, yeah, there's places you can stay. There's albatrosses and fishing. Oh, I do like fishing. There's a lagoon. There's more fishing. Talk. There's a lagoon. There's more fishing.

Talk to me about the lagoon. I reckon there's something about it being out in the middle of there that I don't think would be the glassy, flat surface I need to go fishing.

Otherwise, I'll vomit overboard. I mean, it certainly looks amazing and rugged. Yeah. Oh, it looks amazing. It looks very rugged.

But yeah, it's certainly no... Oh my gosh. Have you looked at this lagoon? This could be our Bali, guys. Kefanga. Kefanga Lagoon. We could make the Chathams our Bali. Our Bali.

Right. I don't think it has the climate or enough scooters, but we could import scooters. We could import scooters. Yeah. Great idea. Well, it's another idea to have. It is a massive lagoon, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. It is a huge internal lagoon. Is it enough to just go there, though, for the lagoon? Maybe. It's nothing else. When you get some of those party boats on the lagoon. Get some party boats on the lagoon. Yes.

So what you're saying is we need to make the Chatham Islands feral so people visit it. Correct, yes. A tattoo parlour on every corner. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six.

Hello there. Well, the polls aren't looking good in an election year for National. So the TV3 poll on, was it Monday or Tuesday? Yeah, had Simon Bridges at 6% preferred Prime Minister? Yeah. The lowest. That wasn't good. And Jacinda, the favourite Prime Minister in a century.

Yeah. According to those polls. Apparently there were some internal national polls that came out yesterday. Haven't heard anything about. They haven't been leaked to the media. But today the TV One poll comes out. The Colmar Bronte. Yeah.

Comes out. So it could be the nail in the coffin for Bridges. Well, a Hamilton MP was emailed by one of their constituents saying, I'm a national voter, but, you know, we've got to get, we've got to sort out this leadership. And the guy replied saying, working on it. And, of course, that went public. So he's throwing his hat in the ring.

But a black guy no one's heard of, so not exactly going to bolster the polls. Who else have you got? You've got Crusher Collins. She's been around for a while. And she said she exactly going to bolster the polls. Yeah. Who else have you got? You've got Crusher Collins. She's been around for a while. And she said she's got nothing to do with this. Yeah. And doesn't want to.

No. Paula Bennett. Old Auntie Paula. Yeah. I don't know. There's nothing that screams leadership there, is there? No. Nothing that screams Prime Minister Paula Bennett.

No. Although I would think it'd be great for Tom Sainz for his career. It would be. Be able to really double down on that. So the top six leaders that could see national to a victory in September are number six, Hokey Pokey Ice Cream. It's a Kiwi classic. It is.

And you're very underrated. I know, and you have to admire the versatility and the popularity of the Hokey Pokey. It's a people pleaser because it's good to eat by itself in a cone or in a bowl and it will accompany a dish without overwhelming it. And represents New Zealand.

Exactly. Get it done. Make hokey pokey your party leader. Number five on the list of the top six leaders that could see national to a victory in September are freshly mowed lawn

where all the grass clippings went into the catcher and there's lines. Oh yeah. I'd want that for Prime Minister. Me too. Yeah. Me too.

I would wake every morning and salute Prime Minister freshly mowed lawn. God, I hope Simon Bridges isn't hearing this. What? Well, they just said on the radio that a freshly mowed lawn would be better than me. There's Facebook pages dedicated to a freshly mowed lawn. I've not seen Yeah Apart from the one he set up Simon Bridges ones

Yeah Number four on the list Of the top six leaders That could see national To a victory in September A game at Uno Where you won by heaps Oh yeah

After slamming down Lots of pickups You're like Uno And the last one you got Is the wild card So you just know It's party time baby Boom you're out

Unless someone puts down A plus two and hit you. Ooh, son of a gun. Because what's the rule? You're not allowed a plus two and plus four, are you? You're not allowed to put a plus two on a plus four. You can only put a plus two on a plus two and a plus four on a plus four. I can't believe that was even debated. Or even hotly contended.

That goes without saying. It's not the same card. Number three on the list of the top six leaders that could see National to a victory in September are the most perfectly cooked medium rare steak, scotch fillet with taties. Oh, yeah, nice. Yeah, and your choice of sauce. Do you want a bit of mushroom sauce on the side? Yeah, a bit of Bernays.

Yeah. But you cut it open and you look and you're like, oh, like that's how good it is. Yeah. Yum. Yum. Number two on the list of the top six leaders that could see national tour victory in September, a gorgeous, clear autumn evening sunset.

Yeah, beautiful. Like the sunsets lately, how good have the sunsets been lately? Beautiful, yeah. I mean, no good because there's no rain around at all to form any form of clouds. I don't know how a sunset could hold a press conference, though. Excuse me, Prime Minister. Quarter to six at this time of year.

Gorgeous evening sunset. Yes. What are you doing about the coronavirus? See you, bye. I'll be back tomorrow. It's just a small window. Catch my buddy sunrise. I'm in the home with you.

And number one on the list of the top six leaders that could see the national play to victory in September, a Labrador puppy. Oh. Labradors, the most popular dog breed in New Zealand. Yeah. And such cute. Are you allowed to tickle the Prime Minister though?

Yeah. Dummy. Until his lipstick pops out. I can't imagine you petting the Prime Minister and the lipstick pops out. Nina got weird that is today's top six ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan

the podcast the UN the United Nations has released a reminder list of gender neutral words that replace common expressions that we've kind of used

and before everyone's like ah this is PC madness it's used to this is what we should adopt to make sure we're not misusing someone's gender identity. Also, it will help promote gender equality because we're no longer perpetuating outdated gender stereotypes. Yep, yep.

So that's why. It's not PC madness. So there's a list. Try telling that to upstairs. I will. Oh, I don't even want to poke that beer. Could you imagine if we got to host a talkback radio show just for like a day? I think that would ruin me for a week.

Like how much fun that would be? Just like riling up all those boomers? You like poking the beer. I don't. I just find it upsetting that there's that many people out there that are that way. It would be easy to do to get on board.

Rile them up. Well, just to do talk back. It would be easy. To pander to them. It would be so easy just to take an opinion. Because you know all they... Put it out there.

Yeah. Just... I mean, I just wouldn't agree with it. That's why I couldn't do it. No, but you'd be making a million bucks so you go home out there. Yeah. Just, I mean, I just wouldn't agree with it. That's why I couldn't do it. No, but you'd be making a million bucks, so you go home and sleep all right. All right. Mankind. This one's obvious.

Humankind. Because it's not just you guys, it's everybody. What about, yep. What about what? Humankind. I was just trying to, but then that would, you would say different species, like dog kind. Canine kind. Canine kind. Okay.

Chairman. We should just call that the chair now, please. The chair. The chair. Chairperson? Does chairperson work? You can just say chair. I've heard people say chairperson, chair of the board. Okay. Congressman. They've changed to legislator. What do we say? We say just MP or politician here?

Yeah, MP. Businessman, change it to representative. I would have thought you said business person. Representative. Yeah. But that doesn't really... Company representative. Okay, everybody I would say would be a representative of a company

without being the business person. Yeah. Police officer instead of policeman. I feel like we're all adopted that one. Instead of saying landlord, landowner. Oh, because lord's got male origins. But people say landlady too, right? Landlady.

Landlord or landlady. Landlord sounds like someone who owns a place. Landlady sounds like the old lady who's like, everything all right up there? To me, I have a woman who I pay a lease to, and I call her a landlord. Yeah. So I just adopted it for both.

Yeah, right, but it shouldn't be. It should just be owner. Yeah, right, okay. Boyfriend or girlfriend, just say partner. But then I feel like you would know the pronouns that you're the person you are with. Also, when someone says partner, I'm always like, is it another girl or another guy? And then it's not. I'm just like, oh.

I feel like you go to partner when you've had like a boyfriend or girlfriend for a long time and saying my boyfriend doesn't feel... I've always thought partner was a passive aggressive way of one person telling the other person they were ready for an engagement. I always thought it was like, oh, this is my partner. I'd be like, oh, okay, they want to be called fiance. They're making this formal now as an act of passive aggression. I just felt long term as opposed to like, you know,

a boyfriend that I'm with at the moment, you know? Yeah. Salesman, salesperson, manpower, change to workforce, please. Oh, that would be, okay, that would be not the strippers. They can still be known as manpower because they're all men. But you're saying like, I need some manpower. I need a bit extra manpower. I need a workforce. You know, I need the bigger workforce. I need a bit of extra manpower. I need a workforce.

I need a bigger workforce. So wait, we can still call the strippers manpower? Yeah. Okay, good. You can. Maiden name changed to family name. But then my family name now is my last name. No, that's your surname.

Your maiden name is the name you had before you got married, but maiden very much sounds like, oh, maiden. And they're also saying that we shouldn't use husband and wife anymore. It should just be spouse. Well, I believe that would be an individual choice, that one. If you want to be called someone's husband or someone's wife

that would be up to you. So yeah, if we can all just think about that, please. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. It's Polly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly. Polly, Molly, Molly, Molly. Come on. Polly, Molly's where we run our own polls. I like your Colmar Brunton, your Reid Research. Yes, except it's ours.

Yeah, it's more actually statistically better. Well, yeah, because we don't just ring a landline and hope someone wants to talk to us at dinner time. We need like a cool name for our poll though. Yeah, you're right. Like a Colmar Brunton. What does that even mean? What about the Papadopoulos Smith Fletcher poll? Yeah.

The PSF. The PSF. The PSF poll, yeah. PSF. Because then that sounds like we're an organisation, doesn't it? It does. Yeah. FSP. PSF. Because then that sounds like we're an organisation, doesn't it? It does. Yeah. FSP. FSP. Yep. I'm just trying all the different combos of those letters to see which most sounds like a sort of a law firm sort of situation.

FPS. Oh, yeah, that's good. That's frames per second, though. That's taken. Okay. Is it? It feels like that's taken. Yeah, right.

Okay. All right, Polly Molly, today's topic is sneaky phone activity. Yes. Sneaky phone activity. All right. Okay. All right, Polly Molly, today's topic is sneaky phone activity. Yes. Sneaky phone activity. All right. So we asked, do you have the same and similar passwords for everything? 87% of people said yes. 13% of people said no.

Interesting, because do you guys have like a main password use for all the main things and then a secondary password for like crappy websites that you don't... Yeah. Yeah. That's how I do it. I have, yeah, pretty much, but then I have like one password I use for like grown-up things.

You know? What's grown-up things? Like banking. Like serious things. Yeah. Like online banking. Yeah. Okay.

And the URD. Things that you don't want people to hack into if they guessed your other password. Yes. Yeah. Like online banking. Yeah. Okay. And the URD. Things that you don't want people to hack into if they guessed your other password. Yes, right. But is a serious adult password, is that real hard? No, it's easier than the other one. That'll throw them off the trail though.

But it's different, that's the main thing. Right, okay, yeah, right. Okay, yeah, maybe you should jush that one up and make it a bit. Yeah. Because do you ever put your password in and it's like weak password? You're like, ouch. Bitch. Yeah. You are. I think I got moderate.

Yeah, but then you know some websites it's like moderate and then others it's strong. Yeah. But it's all, the only thing that counts it is if it's got a capital, a lowercase, a number, a symbol. And eight or more letters. Yeah, eight or more, and then you've pretty much got strong, right?

Yeah, but then you can't remember it. Yeah, because it's like remembering the alphabet in a different order. I don't know which way it went. Even if it was like capital A, little b, c. Yeah. One, two, three. Yeah. Again, exclamation mark. I, two, three. Yep.

Again, exclamation mark. I would probably consider it strong. Do you reckon? I don't know because it kind of ticks the boxes. What are you going to do? A password checker? Strength test. Yep. Oh, yeah.

Okay. Password strength test. I didn't know that was a thing. What did you go? Capital A. Capital A, little b, little c. But then it's got consecutives, so maybe it wouldn't. Oh, yeah, maybe.

And then one, two, three. Very weak. No, capital A. Have you done it all though? Capital A, little b, little c. Yeah. Capital A, little b, little c. So ABC, ABC.

And then one, two, three. Yep. Exclamation mark. Weak. It went from very weak to weak when I added these. Because of the consecutive. Yeah, okay. Any one, two, three, fours, any ABCs, always weak. It went from very weak to weak when I added these. Because of the consecutive. Yeah, okay. Any one, two, three, fours, any ABCs, always weak.

Wow, okay. Our next question was, have you snooped through your partner's phone? 53% of people said no. Yes. 47% said duh. So that's still 50-50. Pretty much. No, that's a big, like that's big, right?

That's half of people. I thought it would be more than that. I did too, actually. I thought it would be more. Well, not recently, but like back in the day, duh. Yeah, yeah, have a lot. Yeah. But then I reckon some people that have said no have done it.

Yes, but maybe they were like answering the questions with their partner. Oh, yeah. They're like, of course not. Oh, my God, no. Shit, I can't. Because once, yeah. They're like, of course not. Oh, my God. Shit, I can't. Because once you vote in an Instagram poll, you can't go back and redo it. Have you never done that, Fletch? What?

Snoop through. No. Have you? Well, I haven't really. I don't know. Was that maybe a girl thing? I've picked up the phone and answered it. Or there's been the time where it's been unlocked and I thought it was my phone and it goes,

do it, and I pick it up, but I soon realise it isn't. Pick it up and you're like, who's this Facebook notification? Yeah, no, never. No. Should I? Sounds like a fun thing to do. Oh, yeah. Maybe I will.

Because you've got to wait till they're asleep and then get their thumb or their face to open the phone. Oh, no, I'd know who pinned. No, you know who pinned. Yeah, I'd know who pinned. We asked, do you know your partner's phone password? There you go, if you're going to be using the face unlock. 70% of people said yes, 30% said no.

Those 30%, what are they hiding? What are they hiding? Well, yeah, because if you've got nothing to hide, go for it. Have my PIN. Yeah. Yeah. But then is your phone PIN the same as your EFTPOS PIN? Yes.

No. Is it? Oh my gosh, guys, that's silly. Don't do that. I wouldn't. I think I might be more safety conscious about this stuff than you guys. I wouldn't be able to remember which was which. I'm pretty good with numbers though.

You've got to have the same. You've got to have the same. We asked you regularly, your browser history. 18% of people said all the time. 82% said not really. Should we have specified do you use incognito browser?

Because technically that's not clearing your browser. No, it's not clearing it. It's just denying cataloging in the first place. Don't think I've ever cleared it. Wow, that would be a really interesting time capsule. How long does it go back?

Forever. Forever. Until it runs out of space, right? Yeah, until it runs out of space. It's a whole space. No wonder your computer Maybe I should do that. No wonder your computer always just runs as slow as anything. Yeah, that's true. You've got years and years of cached history in there. Did you see the US just voted that the FBI can get your browser history without a warrant?

Now they just passed it last week. Without a warrant? Without a warrant. They're not going to find anything of worth on mine. It's just shopping, Facebook, and... Yeah, but I just don't want the world knowing my ponderous questions. Because you just Google things and you're just like, I wonder if anyone else asked this question. And especially during the show

we Google some weird shit. I know. So then they look at that and they think, this guy's an al-Qaeda. Nothing illegal. Oh, you're saying they might draw their own conclusions there. For example, the other day when we were talking, I don't know if this was on air or off air, you mentioned the tomato as a murder weapon, a frozen tomato. And then I, I mean if this was on air or off air you mentioned the tomato was a murder weapon a frozen tomato

I was googling like frozen weapons what if they think I'm wanting to murder someone but it was just a weird conversation we were having it was all on air a lot of it was on air so we wouldn't have that deniability that's why you keep your location tracker

on on your phone so we know if you get abducted. Oh, yeah. Okay. Right. Oh, right. You're saying so they know where he was. I'm saying in case you abduct him.

Yeah, but Pete Evans told me I need to put tinfoil around my phone. Yes, but what did we do? To stop the tracker. But what did I say about Pete Evans? We don't listen to him. Because he's talking bullshit. And number one on the list. Number one.

The last question we asked On the list of Sneaky phone activity Polly moly Do you have something Secret on your phone? 80% of people said no 20% of people said yes

Secret from who? Because I have Secret from everyone Apart from Andrew The secret cache You've got the folder The vault of nudies Don't you?

He knows about it Yeah right But it's secret from you two. Well, and the rest of everybody, I hope. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Goodness me. But yeah, I guess that is secret from somebody. Until my phone gets hacked and then...

Well, this is confronting. The average person will spend 34 years of their life doing this. That's like most of my life already. Sleeping. No, not sleeping. Staring at screens. This includes your phone, your computer, your TV. What else is there?

Parking screen display on the parking machine. Any screen you look at. 34 years. Yeah, but like before screens, it just would have been like paper. True. One's probably worse for your eyes. People didn't live longer than 34 years.

So that adds up to 4,866 hours a year. Yep. 301,000 hours throughout 62 adult years. Wow. If you live to be 62. And then it's only going to spike at the moment, isn't it? Like during lockdown. 2020, we've already upped our screen time. But I was thinking about it because I was like,

I'm not on my phone much. But then we're here at at our we're staring at our laptops here every morning yep i'm staring at the monitors my laptop sometimes we're double screening it yeah or triple screening it and then you go home and you watch some tv for a few hours yeah like that's gonna add up so phones between here and there and then even if you read a kindle, that's a screen. That's not the same, though, because that doesn't have that harmful light. But it's still spending time staring at a screen. But it's a book. I'm just trying to eliminate that. You're trying to, yeah, no.

We've even made books into screens. Yeah, I know, right? Oh, my God. We've ruined everything. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. The latest addition toughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. The latest addition to the producer lineup has been producer Jared, who is joining us now to explain to us his new hobby

and what he is going to spend some money on today. It's not Tinder matches. That was your hobby over lockdown. You had how many did you end up getting over lockdown? Last counts, I've just breached 450. Yeah, wow. Thanks guys. Do you think what you're about to tell us will cost you Tinder matches

or it will make you hit the magic 500? I think I might get reported potentially. Or just narrow it down to niche people. Yeah, very niche. This would be very niche. Because you told us this morning that you are making a significant investment in a hobby,

and we were all gobsmacked. I'm considering it. So I've been on TikTok these past few weeks, and I've just noticed ant farms. Oh, okay. And, oh, man, they're cool, eh? Nah. Wow. Nah. Wow. Nah. When I was a kid, they fascinated me because you'd see them on TV shows and what have you.

Because they're kind of like a perspex glass or a glass thing. And you could see the sand tunnels. Yeah, yeah. And you'd watch the ants. Fascinating creatures, ants. I'll give you that. But I'm talking those rainforest ones, not the ones that crawl up the side of the pantry. Oh yeah, we've got little ones here.

Yeah, I'm trying to find, I'm trying to source big ones. So I've got a contact in Wellington that I'm going to hit up today. What? What do you mean? Where does the contact in Wellington get big ants? He works at Vic University. You just don't want a mouse dressed up as an ant? No, definitely not.

Is this a mouse? No, it's an ant. Is it a mouse in an ant suit? Maybe. How big are these big ants? Oh, they'd be like three or four millimetres. Not very big. But bigger than your standard pantry invader. You can see the mandibles.

What's a mandible? Do you not remember Honey, I Shrunk the Kids? With the ant. Do you remember Honey, I Shrunk the Kids? With the ant. Do you remember Honey, I Shrunk the Kids? We watched that recently. That was terrifying as a child. Isn't that getting a new...

Because the scorpion takes on the ant but they're kind of relatively the same size but in real life they wouldn't be. They're making another one, aren't they?

I'd heard, yeah. So how much are you paying? Tell people how much you're paying for this big ant. Well, I could pay 113 American dollars if I was allowed to ship them in to big ant. Well, I could pay $113 American dollars if I was allowed to ship them in to New Zealand. Well, that's a buy-in.

I don't think you'd be allowed to do that. Yeah, I'm not allowed to. So I've got to find a real-life wild queen ant. So that's a queen ant, which is a standard ant, would cost $113 US dollars. Yep, on eBay. Because we've got ants.

Yeah. Everywhere. Well, you do, personally, at home. Yeah, at eBay. We've got ants. Yeah. Everywhere. What you do personally at home. Yeah, at home. We've got so many ants. $183 New Zealand dollars. Value. For a queen ant.

Now, how do I distinguish the queen ant? Because I'm going to go digging this afternoon. I'm sitting on money, baby. There's no queen ants on Trade Me. But are there ants? There's ant farms and ant bait, but no ants. Okay. I've really been struggling to find the live insects, to be honest.

Other than the ones that are at my house, I want a freshly fertilised queen ant. Do they have them at Animates? No, they don't. No, they have them at Antimates. Or Mitre 10 Beggar No that didn't work

I was going to go for bugger Mitre 10 Yeah right Bugger but that didn't work Buggings You should have just gone Buggings Yeah

Yeah that's a good one So okay So you're wanting This is bizarre And you're willing to pay money I'm willing to pay money But first I need to invest In the set up So I need to get my little Colony farm Where they're going to live You got that Or you're willing to pay money. I'm willing to pay money, but first I need to invest in the setup.

So I need to get my little colony farm where they're going to live. You got that or you're going to need... I'm going to get that tomorrow on payday. Okay. Money well spent. No, I'm on board with this because, man, I've bought some...

Remember when I bought that mini chopper and everyone said to me, don't buy that. And I was like, don't tell me what to do. And I bought a mini chopper and then I was too fat for't tell me what to do. And I bought a mini chopper. And then I was too fat for it, so it went real slow. You guys are always lecturing everyone else about spending frivolous money.

That's a hundred, like that's, he's going to spend so much money on ants. No, I'm going to get a McQueen ant. I'm going to find, how do I know if she's recently fertilised? She's recently fertilised if she's on the ground and she's busy like chewing her wings off her back and she's busy chewing her wings off her back. She's chewing her own wings off her back. Does that mean she's about to start digging and making a new house? That bitch is crazy.

She's about to start digging. So you'll need a magnifying glass, Vaughan, to see if she's chewing her wings off so you can then capture it for Jared. Yeah, but I don't want to go too near the sun with that magnifying glass or I'll burn precious money. Oh, yeah, that's true.

Have you two just given up on sex? Oh, my God. Me? He does not understand anymore. I've had it cruelly stripped from my clutches. Yeah, right. Whereas, Jared, you're definitely giving up sex. He's had 400 matches on Tinder.

That's 400 more than you ever got. I've got it on tap at home. Don't you worry about me. Producer Jared is getting into ant farming. Bizarre. Yes. And he has told us that he wants to invest in a queen ant and they're expensive.

A hundred and something dollars. So you get a queen ant who's chewing her wings off. That means she's about to lay the eggs and then she's, you know. Yeah. She's one ant that's chewing her wings off, that means she's about to lay the eggs and then she's, you know. Yeah. She's one ant that's going to be bringing thousands. But why can't you just entrap some ants into like, I don't know, a bit of dirt with some sugar and then drag them into your ant farm? Yeah. Is that not how it works?

I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, we want to know if you have any hobby expenses that maybe you're a little bit embarrassed about. Maybe you don't tell everybody. Mark, what's your hobby expenses? I sort of collect early Batman figurines and original boxes. That's good, though. That could be worth some money one day.

One day. It could not be two. They could just be toys at the end of the day. What's the most you've spent on a toy? On a figurine by itself, probably around $80. Okay. That's not too bad. No, that's not too bad.

No, it's sort of Batman Begins and Batman Forever and stuff like that. So you're talking movie Batman, you're not talking... Yeah, right. Not 50s Batman, no. Right, okay. How many figurines here can you got? About 25, 30. Do you have the nipple suit?

Was it George Clooney or Val Kilmer that had the nipple suit? I have some of the Batman begins. Yeah, that's the nipple suit. Okay. All right. Mark. Pointy nipples. Thanks for your call.

Daniel, what's your embarrassing hobby expenses? Well, I may or may not have paid $800 for aquarium lights during the lockdown. What, like, so that your aquarium looks all kind of like LED different colours or something? Yeah, so these are imported from the States and they are controlled by an app.

So on the app I can control when the sun rises, when the sun sets, and like moonlight, and I can even do like thunder and lightning kind of a thing. What a dance party. Yeah, definitely, dance party for the fish. What kind of fish have you got? Do they appreciate this controllable lighting?

Yeah, definitely. Like some of my fish are nocturnal, so it's really good with the moonlighting so I can see what they're doing and make sure they're being fed and everything like that. So it's definitely cool. Oh, nocturnal fish what they're doing and make sure they're being fed and everything like that. So it's definitely cool. I'm an old turtle fish. I just assume fish will just add it the whole time. He doesn't swim in a round being fish.

Just fishing. What are you doing later today, Vaughn? Well, thanks for asking, Vaughn. I'm going to dig up my cobblestones and see if I can find a $130 queen ant to sell. Apparently there's a market for these ants. Yeah, and you've got them everywhere. And I'll disestablish the colony at home. Imagine the chaos when I steal the queen. $30 queen ant to sell. Because apparently there's a market for these ants. Yeah. And you've got them everywhere. And I'll disestablish the colony at home.

Imagine the chaos when I steal the queen. The kingdom will fall. Oh, my God. Listen to yourself. Imagine if during the queen's address, Her Majesty, like the actual queen, a giant hand came down from space. And was just like, yoink. We would go nuts. We would go nuts.

We would go crazy. Society would fall apart even if you weren't a monarchist. Yeah, you'd be like, where did the giant hand come from? It'd all go to hell. That'd all run for the hills. Well, don't do that to the ants then.

No, I don't want them. That queen's worth money, baby. And they might be like, bees, did they just nominate another queen or something? Why don't you just buy a big block of Milky Bar and chuck it over the neighbour's fence

and they'll all just go there? Does the queen go and get the Milky Bar though? She waits at home for the preeps to come get it. I've come running, we've found a giant Milky Bar! She's like, alright. Time to get out there.

Well, producer Jared wants to buy a giant queen ant for a hundred and something dollars. And we want to know this morning the hobby expenses that you might be a little bit embarrassed about because hobbies aren't cheap. Wow. This is some serious money. Somebody said my friend spent

8,000, let me get this correct, a new fur suit. Yeah. Super cute. $8,000. For what? Is that real fur?

What's a fur suit? Is this like a furry? Is it a kinky thing? It might be. Custom made animal costumes. But then you wouldn't spend $8,000 on something that you weren't getting. But we're doing faux fur though, right? We're not using actual fur, are we?

Oh, for eight grand, I want an actual bear. Jess, you've got an expensive hobby? Yeah, so a little bit embarrassing, but low-key proud as well. Okay. And what is it? Oh, so I decided to go and buy an SNS nail kit so I can do my nails myself.

And so it was $600. Megan's like, that's not embarrassing. $600, okay. No, like I was spending probably like $70 like every two or three weeks to get my nails done. And I was pretty much just working to support my nails. And then I was like, you know, I've got some time. I can do this myself. Started just before lockdown, which is like the perfect time.

And then, yeah, now every day I work at a bank and people are like, oh, where do you get your nails done? I've got some time. I can do this myself. Started just before lockdown, which is like the perfect time. Yeah. And then, yeah, now every day I work at a bank and people are like, oh, where do you get your nails done? I'm like, hey, I did it myself. How long do they last? Do they last as normal? Just as long, yeah.

So I also bought like a gel kit as well because, you know, I'm doing it, and I've got to do it properly. And so they literally look just like a professional set and they last just as long it, and I've got to do it properly. And so they literally look just like a professional set, and they last just as long. Did you buy the SNS LG hybrid UV lamp? Yeah.

Oh, my God, yeah. I'm on their website. Yeah, I did. Can you forward that to me? They're overcharging for that alcohol, like a cleaning alcohol. That's $1.25. Just go down to, like, Super Cheap and grab a bottle of meths, I reckon that'll do.

All right, thanks for that, Vaughan. I'll do that. Yeah. Hey, look, I'm always trying to save money. Thanks, Jess. Amber, you've got an expensive hobby maybe a little bit embarrassed about? Yeah. Well, hearing the last one, I think that's what my friends and family would expect me to have. Right. Mine is I'm, yeah, your basic sort of 27-year-old, and I play The Sims. The Sims? And I think I've probably spent probably $800 to $1,000 on all the games.

I just added it up before, and I was absolutely horrified. Right, so I haven't played The Sims for a few generations. Can you make in-app purchases in The Sims now? Well, you just buy the, like, different expansion packs or stuff like that. Yeah, right. Wow, $800 on something that. Yeah, right. Wow. $800 on something that's not even real. The enjoyment share is real.

Yeah, I know, I know. It's a very real enjoyment. Yeah. I feel like it was a real thing when I was a teenager and then with lockdown and everything, well, I've always played, but yeah, it just sort of got way out of hand. It took off again.

I saw lockdown would have been very beneficial, but yeah, it just sort of got way out of hand. I saw Lockdown would have been very beneficial. Animal Crossing, there was lots of games that take a lot of time that really benefited there. Thanks, Amber. Some text messages. We're hearing from a lot of people with flash fish tanks now after the aquarium lights before. I kind of like that. That's cool.

My hobby is keeping reef tanks. Now, reef tanks aren't your run-of-the-mill fish tanks. You have to buy actual coral. It ranges from $30 to $1,000 for nice coral, $1,000 plus. I recently shut down my small tank of coral and fish before I moved houses, and I made $3,000 just by selling on the coral. Question.

Wow. Where does the coral come from? Yeah, does it back from Raro? Ethically Ethically farmed coral Is that sustainable coral? Don't know Probably not

A Nemo is their cheapest fish They were $70 We all right with Nemos? Yeah Living in the reef? I am You're okay with a Nemo? Shoot AF in your tank

Yeah Okay Someone said One wet Christmas New Year's period We had nothing to do It was raining Stuck inside I went to the local model shop your tank. Yeah. Okay. Someone said one wet Christmas New Year's period. We had nothing to do. It was raining,

stuck inside. I went to the local model shop. I thought this will take some time. I spent $1,000 on models and spent three weeks of my life making models.

It was a very confusing time in my life. Don't talk about it too much. Fleshfawner Megan, the podcast. ZM. Friend of the show, lovely man, Thomas Gareth. Sainsbury, good morning.

Hi, guys. My dear friends. Hi. Gareth, is Gareth your middle name? I wish it was. I took a shot in the dark there. What is your middle name? Megan.

Megan or Regan? Megan. Your name is Thomas Megan Sainsbury. I love that. It's not. Oh my god, of course it's not Megan. I was like excuse me bitch. There's only room for one Megan on the show. It's a very unusual middle name. Now, Tom, just before we get into Snort Live, let's talk about the leadership coup in the National Party.

I know. Could you have a lot of work if Paula Bennett becomes the Prime Minister? Oh, my God, imagine. It would be my dream come true. Well, would it be my dream come true? Anyway, it would give me lots of fodder, which would be amazing. Yeah. I don't know if it's going to happen. I think Judy's going to get in there.

Do you reckon? You would say that because she's from Maramara and so are you. Is there a bit of hometown favouritism there for the crusher? Exactly, exactly. Either way, you do an impression of crusher, don't you, Judy? I do, but I haven't really got her voice down, so I just kind of do this kind of posh. She's kind of like inspired by Cruella de Vil kind of vibe.

She is Cruella de Vil. In both parody and real life. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Right, so you're actually joining us to talk about Snort live. Now, Snort has been going for quite a few years. Yeah. It's improv and it happens in Auckland mostly,

but you guys have travelled before. And that's how I first met you. Did you know that? You did a monologue for us like five years ago or something. Yes, yes. Was that the first time we met? Yes, it is. I am so sorry I forgot that fateful evening.

Yeah, I did a monologue. I still think about it all those years ago, you know, You and me. Up there. I felt very safe. It was scary, but I felt very safe. Guys, you did a good job. So for people that don't know basically improv,

someone comes out, delivers a monologue, takes some suggestions from the audience, and then it's up to the improv improvisationers to make a show out of that. Yes, totally make it up all on the spot and just kind of rely on the other actors on stage to try and

carry you and make the scene kind of make sense and be funny. So it's funny but it's so much fun. Now that would be some people's worst nightmare. I know, I was just thinking that. I know, absolutely. There thinking that. I know, absolutely. There are some times

where you kind of walk off after doing a performance with the lowest opinion of yourself and go home and just scrub yourself with bleach. Other times,

other times you just come off feeling like a god so there you go. Wow. High highs, low lows. Yes, exactly. Now, this is going to be TVNZ On Demand.

You've got the likes of Guy Montgomery, Laura Daniel, Eli Mathewson, Alice Sneddon, the list goes on. There's a lot of you involved. You know, do you outshine them? Oh, good question. Of course I do. Yes. I'm probably the best in the whole

troupe. Yes. I'm probably the best in the whole troupe. Yes. And this was filmed just before COVID-19 shut it all down, right? Exactly, yeah. So it's a couple of months old. But the good thing is, because when you're doing it live, obviously there are some real terrible bits. But the good thing about editing is that you can just kind of cut out all the bad scenes.

So hopefully it's all just like one after another after another. That's what I'm looking for anyway. Wouldn't that defeat the very purpose of improv? Exactly. Now we're going to take this to the cutting room floor and make it a weird little comedy show. Exactly. Okay, well it's on TVNZ On Demand.

It's Snort Live. Yeah. And you know, it's a great way to fill that gap because you don't get to do it at the moment because we can't have audiences. I know. Absolutely. But are you looking forward to it? I could come and listen, guys.

I could come in and just do some for you guys if you want. That would be much... Maybe tomorrow morning. Much appreciated. You've got nothing on. Get in. Thanks so much for joining us, and good luck with whoever ends up leading the National Party

having a decent Snapchat build up. Exactly, exactly. Thanks guys. Well, fresh off trying to find a queen ant for his new ant colony, we've also heard producer Jared has upset the upper echelon of management. Yeah. Not just any manager, the managing director of the New Zealand Herald. Oh.

And it's not because he wants an ant farm as a weird hobby. No, he could probably make good by writing a fluff piece on his ant farm for the New Zealand Herald. That would get some publicity. What did you do to him, Jared? I parked in his car park. Car parks around here. And anybody that works in a sort of a central city location knows that car parks are...

Well, they're gold. They're gold. They're rare. People will fight to the death for them. Yeah, and they're allocated. Very much so. Very much allocated. With sign gold. They're rare and they are... People will fight to the death for them. Yeah, and they're allocated. Very much so. Very much allocated. With signage.

Yeah. His one didn't have a nameplate, though. Right. Oh, didn't it? So you just thought it was free to park there? Yeah. Well, I was only going to be there for five minutes because I was running late

and I had to run in and do stuff for the show. And then I was going to drive to my actual car park ten minutes up the road. Right. Did the nameplate say something along the lines of Executive Team Managing Director of the New Zealand Herald? No name, but quite the title. I don't think it did.

I believe it said NZME. Right. Generic. That's very generic. That could be you. I see why the mistake was made. So how did you find out that you'd parked in his park? Well, I was only in the building for like five minutes

and then I ran downstairs to move my car and I had this little business card with a little lovely note that says, Hi, please keep this park clear. Thanks. Oh, wow.

Oh. With a business card. And I think it's an old business card because I didn't realise it said executive because this one doesn't. Okay, yeah, right. Yeah.

Oh, okay, so. Also, does he get business cards? Why don't we have business cards? But the only thing I ever used business cards for was entering those free lunches at places. And to leave notes on people's windscreens when they're parking your car. And I don't want my phone number on business cards. That would encourage

people to call. Yes. Just put your number and then in brackets, I don't answer this. Yeah. It's not what I use my phone for. Don't call that. Message it, but even then, reluctantly. Here's my email address. Send anything you want to that,

it will be ignored. Fleshfornughan and Megan The podcast ZM Fact of the day Day Day Day

Day Alright This is going to blow your mind. Okay. Have either of you heard of the Bulbocavinosis reflex? No. No. What would your guess be as to what the Bulbocavinosis reflex is?

Also known as the Osinski reflex. Something in a cavern, like in a hole. Because cavernosis. Sounds like something in a hole. In your ear. Is it just swallowing? Nope. What else is a cavern?

Your ear? Your butt hole? Of course. You went straight to the butt hole and it was right. Yes. Ding, ding, ding. What's the bulbo part of the cavernosis reflex? Your sphincter muscle. No, that's what I was going to guess.

The bulbo. Your butt cheek. Just tell us. No. It's both male and females. It's on males, it's the end of your

ding dong. Oh yeah, okay. The end of the penis. Yep. And on the females it's that part. That part. It doesn't have a cute name. Man in a boat. The man in the boat.

The man in the canoe. The man in the canoe. The paddler. It needs a cute name. That specific part. I mean, I know we should always refer to things, but I'm not saying it on the radio at 25 minutes past eight. No.

So there you go. You found out where my line is. It's a weird line because you'll cross that line at other points up the line but not just not at that point not right now yeah right yeah yeah but that specific part of the canoe yep the man yeah in the canoe yep him that specific part so this is how and it's actually this is a procedure um that can work out if you have spinal cord damage. It's an actual medical procedure. And the reflex is spinal meditated and involves the S2 to S4. So imagine that's a part of the spine.

If somebody has spinal shock or an accident where they think the spinal cord may have been damaged. Like, they're like, I can't feel my feet. They're like, where can you feel up to? There's a way of telling whereabouts the damage could be by putting a finger in the butt and then squeezing the other part mentioned. On both the male and the female. I have a motorcycle accident. Okay, and I arrive.

Wait, are you a doctor? No, but now I know about this. It's going to be the first thing he does. Yeah, but I know about open heart surgery, but I don't do it. No, but that's complicated. This is very simple. Is it? So I come across here.

You've fallen off your Kawasaki Ninja, which I told you not to buy. You did. Even though they were super cool in the 90s. I know, yeah. It was well beyond your ability to handle its power. come across here, you've fallen off your Kawasaki Ninja, which I told you not to buy. You did. Even though they were super cool in the 90s. I know, yeah. It was well beyond your ability to handle its power. Did you get leathers

for protection? Yeah. Has he got leather pants on? Well, he had the leathers, weirdly. This is hot. So, he's got his leathers on, but something's gone. What made you fall

off your motorbike? A log. A log? You were avoiding a cute animal. I was going to say, like, you hit a small animal or something. No,bike? A log. No, you were avoiding a cute animal. I was going to say like, you hit a small animal or something.

No, I hit a log. You hit a log. I hit a log. Somebody didn't tie their load down on their trailer. The log fell off. We're trying to make this sexy. And you were on your

cul-de-sac in India and you were like, whoa! And you skid sideways. No, I tried to do a jump over it. Whoa, that wouldn't even work. So you're front wheel, because you're not on your...

Yeah, hit the log. Yeah, okay. You're not on your CR250 now, mate. There'll be no jump. So you hit it. So you're front wheel caught because you're not on your CR250 now, mate. There'll be no jumps. So I'm lying on the road in agony and I'm like, well, I think I might have spinal damage. And you come along and I'm like, are you okay? Can you feel your feet? No. And I'm like, well, let's get you out of these pants.

Why haven't you called me an ambulance? I'm like, well, let's get you out of these pants. Why haven't you called me an ambulance? I'm on the phone. Right, okay. I'm on the phone. It's ringing and they're like, which do you want? I'm like, ambulance. They put me through and I'm like, let's get these pants off. I said, I've heard about the bulbar cavernous reflex.

It's best we know when the ambulance answers. I'm impressed you can get leather pants off whilst holding the phone there. You'd be surprised. When I've got the opportunity to take somebody's pants off, I'm like, I'm in. I'm like,

hello? Yes, ambulance. Yeah, he's come off as Kawasaki Ninja. It was a foolish purchase. Tell them I had a log. He had a log. He was trying to jump it.

He was trying to jump it. I know. Yeah. He was trying to jump it. He was trying to jump it. I know. Yeah. Again, they're very heavy motorbikes. There's no way you could just like jump over something without the assistance of a ramp. No, there was no ramp. Anyway, so as pants are off,

I heard on the radio about the Bobo Cavanaugh reflex. Shall I administer? No. Do you know what it is? You don't. You're just a call dispatcher. Okay, well what you do is you... I'll do it on him as I'm talking to you. Do I have his permission?

Hold on. Am I right to try this? Yes. Okay. He's giving me his permission. Well, this is on you then. So now my finger, I'm just going to work my finger into his bum. I've changed my mind. We've started. I mean, the most difficult part's over.

Really? It's done. Now I'm going to squeeze the end of his Johnson, his member. Now it's got to be the end. Yeah, right. It can't be the shot. It's got to be the end. Sorry.

No, I was tearing up. I wasn't laughing. I'm a medical professional. And when I squeeze the end, is there closure around my finger? Yes, there is. That means that he has not sustained damage. Yep, you send the ambulance,

but tell them on the way that I've already done that so they don't need to repeat the process when they get here. Yep. And so, yeah, there's no damage in the S2 and S4. Okay. Alright. We'll see you soon. How was that? It was pleasant.

Because apparently even if they don't feel it, that reflex has to go from the front up to the via the front up to the, via the spinal cord to the brain and then back down and that would cause the closing of the sphincter. Right. And it works on males and females.

Right. But I'm far more happy to theatrically play out doing it on you than I would be on Megan at this stage. Just for, no offence. Ouch. No, I just can't see you riding a Kawasaki Ninja. Okay. That's the main reason.

But if it doesn't, if there's no clenching around the finger, you could have severe spinal damage. Wow. Rather than just temporary spinal shock, that could also replicate itself with signs of paralysis. That was some weird ass Fletcher Bourne fan fiction. Wow. Yeah.

It happened. So try it at home. No, don't. Don't. If you think it's only on yourself or a loved one. I don't know. Does it work on yourself because you can't tickle yourself? Correct.

And you would know you're about to do it. Yeah. Okay. So you would preempt it maybe. Who knows? Good luck explaining that if you get walked in on. Also, if you have spinal damage. Mum, no.

Mum. It was the bulbous cavernous reflex test. Of course it was. I had a sore neck. I thought I might have had a spinal cord injury. Shut the door, Mum. No, you go out the door before you shut the door, Mum. Look away.

Yeah, open it, leave. Get up. Oh, God. Do you think she bought it? So today's fact of the day is there is a reflex test called the Bulbo-Cavanis Reflex that can test if you have spinal cord damage. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

There's a job going. This is in the UK though, so I mean, can't really get there very easily right now. No. You'll get paid $120 an hour to do something that we do every day and we don't get paid. And it's fun. $120 an hour to sleep and review the different beds.

It's for a luxury homewares company. So they are looking for someone to try at least two beds per month for five nights. So they'll bring it into your house and then you've just got to use it for like five nights and then they take it away again.

And you've got to assess comfort size, aesthetic and durability. I don't know if they... Do you get paid for the time that you spend writing a review or the time you spend sleeping? Because technically that's... It's probably just $120.

That's it, wouldn't it be? An hour. An hour, okay. Yeah, because paid to sleep, that'd be bloody nice. Or is that just 24 hours over a five night? Yeah, maybe. Because you know when you go bed shopping, you walk around and you're like,

oh my God, this one. And then you're like, $10,000? No. Beds are so expensive. So expensive. And then you just end up going for like down, down, down. Until you find one that's like you can afford. Yeah.

And you're like, oh, my back's okay at the moment. I'll deal with it when I'm older. But yeah, like, would it just be insane having one of those insane beds that you see for like... Was it like Drake that's got that? Yeah. And it's all black. Bougie. Bed. Yeah.

So it says you don't need any experience or qualifications. I guess you just need to be able to be good at sleeping. Done. Easy. You need to be able to be good at sleeping. Done. Easy. And you need to be at least 18 years old. Right. That's all you need.

What are their drinks being served? I don't know. Or do we have to vote? Fair call. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. COVID recovery is the next step, I guess, to try to get everything back on track to how it was before COVID-19,

before the coronavirus. It might be a while before borders and everything can reopen. But one of the ideas to boost economic tourism, also productivity, and give New Zealanders a better work-life balance is a four-day working week. Yes, King. Yep, sign me up.

Because it's been flagged by the Prime Minister who said that additional public holidays as well as a shorter working week are something we can accomplish now after people working from home, working through completely different circumstances prove that it is possible After people working from home, working through completely different circumstances, prove that it is possible.

And to up that productivity by maybe not spending an hour each day sitting in traffic or having to travel too far, working from home, if there's an option for people, they can get it done. So does that mean that they would just say everyone takes Monday off? Or would that be just to work places to say you can... Maybe, maybe more on an individual, but I mean, it would work best if everybody said Fridays, right? Because then if you're working in a business and you try to contact another business on business matters,

but then their day off is Friday and your day off is Monday, that's going to be a day each side. See, I don't like Mondays, so I think that should be the day off. Yeah, I think Monday should go too. Because then Fridays is always that day that you get excited for the weekend. But then Tuesdays would just become the new Mondays as well as also being Tuesdays.

Yeah, but I'd rather it was a Monday than a Friday. Why do you think a Monday more than a Friday? Because Friday's associated with excitement because of the weekend. Yeah. Right. So then Thursday would become the Friday. And I'd rather the Monday became

the Tuesday. You know what I mean? No, Tuesday became the Monday. I do know what you mean. Yeah. And I'm down. Monday would become a new day unto itself. Sort of a Sunday-Monday hybrid. A Sunday. There's an argument, like, you know the idea of the, let's have some more public

holidays. The idea against that is that that means a lot of businesses have to close and wouldn't get business so that's sad. Or we have to pay time and a half. Yeah. I didn't want to bring that up and be a party pooper but that was what I thought about. No, no. It's important to

see this from all angles. Maybe we do need to think a bit more outside the box. You know, we need some crazy ideas to get out of this. Crazy ideas? Crazy ideas. You've come to the right place. Okay, give me

another one. What do you want to this to accomplish? I don't know, just better economy. Print heaps more money. That does not sound like anything could go wrong. Yeah. Did you not see that DuckTales episode of hyperinflation?

Have we not got a house? That was a great DuckTales episode and Scrooge McDuck became poor. Yeah. Because his money was worth nothing because they just printed a whole lot more. Yeah, well, if we all want more money, just give us some more money and, yeah,

put it in the printer. It's not a big deal. Well, I mean, Venezuela, Zimbabwe, there's a whole lot of countries who have suffered from hyperinflation that might disagree. But I love crazy ideas. But, yeah, down for a three-day weekend. Yeah. You'd just go away, wouldn't you?

Would you prefer it was called a three-day weekend or a four-day work week? Four-day work week, because then it still sounds like you're productive and you're doing some work. That's what I was going to say. It's got slightly better connotations. Rather than get an extra day off, it's that you worked hard to earn an extra day.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here. ZM's free and Clinton listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music lives here. ZM.