ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 21st October 2020

Episode Date: October 20, 2020

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Hello, welcome to the Fleet Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app to get McCafe rewards today. Um, oh, I've just got a package. I've got a package too. I saw your package, it's in a big box. Yeah. Mine's in the fridge. Oh, you don't have a package. What could it be? It's a perishable. Come and get it before you leave or it might perish. I got a package yesterday.

It was very lovely, a lovely gift. Levi's have teamed up with Lego. This is non-spawn. I just thought I'd tell you about it. But shush. You're going to get your chance. You hush your mouth for a second. You might have heard my inhale.

Lego X Levi's and they sent me a hoodie and I really liked it and I put it on. Describe it. It's a hoodie and it's a really nice material. It's kind of a hoodie you could wear on a summer eve without overheating. Right. Okay. Thin.

Now, Lego colors. It's like red, yellow, blue, green, white. Yeah. And it's all like bitsy. And I was like, oh, this is cool. And I wore it and Megan was like, ugh. Megan called it poor man's Tommy Hilfiger It's like one of those

Tommy Hilfiger items that you don't buy I don't know if people are buying Tommy Hilfiger again Yeah Where have you been? What do you mean? Shopping wise

Yeah I know Yeah I know Nowhere What's that we talked about what is that term of fashion where you wear the plain colours? Because I'm a bit of that.

Block. I'll Google it. Do you mean like what? Zuckerberg and... Yeah. What are you talking about me? Again. Who's the angry guy?

But is that the... Tim Cook? No, Steve Jobs, but he's dead. R.I.P. Bright. No. Is that why? It's so out there for you

It was different for me, yeah right I thought that was what it was But it's not that It's just not cool I didn't realise it was a Levi's one I was like, what have they done? And then when I was leaving Mountie said, don't wear that tomorrow

Like as a parting Like, hey, have a good day We'll see you tomorrow She said, hey, don't wear that Set you tomorrow You forgot, did you mention The little Lego patch? It's got a Lego patch And you can put the lego dots on and put whatever make your own logo

on you yeah and then i got home and charlotte's like this is an interesting hoodie and i've been with her long enough to know that she doesn't like it but you know what you don't fuck a lot of you it's a it's a very comfortable hoodie no but that is the attitude you need to have yeah when i wear things that you guys don't like and take the piss out of, I still wear them. You don't wear those neck curtains anymore? Yes, I do. I wore it like a couple weeks ago.

Is the neck a boys to men outfit today? That's a nice look. Why? Because it's a white blazer. Over a white shirt. This is a small Kiwi company. I make love to you like you want me to. And I hold you tight.

I like this blazer. No, it's a nice blazer. Is it sort of a, is it a linen? Yes. Yes. Very Branson. It's like Richard Branson's got to go to a semi-formal event on his heart-shaped island.

See, this is why I came for you with your Lego fucking sweatshirt. I don't blame you. I don't blame you. I gave you one opening and you took your shot. That almost made me proud, actually. And then you said, why don't you wear your denim jacket to work? And I said, after the shit I've given everybody for wearing denim jackets to work, calling them the Fonz, I'll pass.

Are you still Googling what that fashion term is? No one cares. Yeah, I know. I'm done. But now it's annoyed me because I need to know. Oh, those are the worst. When you know it's not going to be worth the effort, but you've put in some amount of effort so you've got to finish the task.

What have you found? What are your keywords Googling? No, I've got a term for not wearing branded clothing. But we mentioned it before. It's, um, I can't remember. I make love to you. Yeah, I don't remember I'll make love to you Yeah I I don't

Yeah I don't wear Branded clothing Or like Mufti No it's not mufti Oh shit 100% That is

That is God damn Have you seen how much T-shirts cost If they screen print Something on them Ooh Baby

Baby Baby Baby Ooh Baby No one cares Fletch Ooh, baby Baby, baby, baby Ooh, baby No one cares, Fletch Should we just go to the podcast The show that people love Oh, yeah I'm sorry, guys

Sorry for letting everyone down No, no, you're not letting us down Honestly, don't care Let yourself down if anything But don't worry about it ZM Head music Lives here

Fletch, Fawn worry about it. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleet, Vaughn and Megan. Good morning. Good morning. Vaughn's plugging his headphones in. You had a tangle, mate. Yeah, a bit of a tangle. A bit of a tangle this morning.

I was just remembering who I saw yesterday at a picture station. Oh. Oh, that's right. It was in the group chat. Yeah, yeah. So Megan won't know. Oh. I went. It was in the group chat. Yeah, yeah. So Megan won't know, but I'll, yeah, who?

No, I did read it, but I've forgotten. You've forgotten. It was. I found myself in Orohoho. Yeah. Ah.

Yeah. And I went to get some more hangi supplies, some muslin cloth and a whole bunch of hessian sacks. Okay. And I need to get

some cash out and go wheeze. And what, where can you do that? I'll tell you where you can't do it, a bank, to get some cash out and go wheeze. And where can you do that? I'll tell you where you can't do it, a bank, because I don't like you going wheeze in the pub once, even though that's fertiliser. So I went to a petrol station and I came out and I was like,

getting off a Harley with a hand-woven flax kit hay backpack, Willy Arpiata. Sir? Sir Willy Arpiata. Sir Willy Arpiata. Badass Harley Davidson driving. Bearded? Yeah. Willy Arpiata Sir Willy Badass Harley Davidson driving Bearded Yeah

Willy Arpiata No like Five o'clock shadow Longish hair SAS soldier Oh god When he had that beard He just looked unstoppable

Yeah He looked like he was on a secret mission I won't lie He did He looked like he was on an undercover mission on that bike Yep What if he came out with like a

fruit juice or something? I just primarily judge him on what flavour fruit juice he'd go on. He'd be a great fruit. Come out with an ice block. He's a good man,

he'd be a great fruit. He could be a great fruit or he could be a pineapple. He'd be a classic fruit juice flavour. He'd be a pineapple. No, not an orange. You only get that one

when there's none other. Take the sir off him if he's a pineapple. Yuck. I'd give him lordship him if he's a pineapple. Yuck. Pineapple frugus. Lordship if he's eating a pineapple. They're the worst. If anybody knows what flavour frugus Willy Apiata is, please let us know.

9696. He's probably more of a trumpet guy. Yeah, if he's going to treat himself, he's going to treat himself. Hard to eat that while you're driving your motorbike. Yeah, that's true. Hard to eat anyway. More of a calipo, calypso dude. Oh, yeah.

You just squeeze it at the bottom, don't you? Pop it in your leather pocket at the top. Have a little lick every couple of kilometres. But yeah, he is. Yeah. That was cool to see him in real life. Right. The top six is coming up.

Yeah, it is. In New Zealand, we're bringing back the Mystery Weekend Escapes. This was ANSET territory, wasn't it? It always reminds me of the defunct airline ANSET. Oh my god, RIP. No, Air New Zealand have done them before. Yeah, but my childhood was always like, and you could win yourself

an ANSET Mystery Weekend on any of New Zealand's old game shows that we don't do anymore. Sail of the Century, Wheel of Fortune, etc. Yeah. So, Air New Zealand are bringing them shows that we don't do anymore. Sale of the Century, Wheel of Fortune, et cetera. Yeah. So Air New Zealand are bringing them back, which can only lead to disappointment. The top six things you'll think when you arrive at your Air New Zealand Mystery Weekend location.

Because they've said there'll be 20 locations, which, you know, some of them are going to be shit. Aren't they? Like, where would everyone want to go be shit. Aren't they? Like, where would everyone want to go? Queenstown. Queenstown, exactly.

Yeah. Whanganui, I could, I would. I know you want to see the giant pencils. I know you want to see the giant pencils. I want to see the giant pencils. Somebody sent me a photo yesterday

of them by the giant pencils. Oh, huge pencils. Lovely pencils. Huge pencil sculptures. That's why they win the town of the year. Well, they're in the running. New Zealand's most

beautiful city, yeah. Yeah. All right, next on the show. We don't do Zoom much anymore. We're very lucky, but around the world they still are and someone's had

a really terrible whoopsie-daisy using Zoom. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Well, there's just a last-minute studio sanitising going on behind the scenes.

We've received a message. No, it's because you sprayed that stuff everywhere. I'm choking on it. I'm going to have a face full of that. We've received a message from Clint, from Bree and Clint, who's woken up with a sore throat, and he's like, wipe everything down. And so Fletch went ham on the fragrance-free sanis. Goodness me.

I don't know if you're supposed to spray that straight on technical equipment. You know, it's hospital-grade surface sanitizer. I know, but on technical equipment? Can I have that? Because I've taken the popsock off my microphone, and I don't want to have to see that. So I want to put the popsock back on because it's grim under there. I don't think it works on fabric, Vaughn.

Why not? I don't know. It just works on bugs, doesn't it? Yeah. What does that smell like? It's fragrance free. No, no. Smells like mess.

Chemicals. Smells like mess. Okay, we're good to go. I think we're good. Although we would have already caught it though, eh? Oh my God. Because apparently

it stays on surfaces for 28 days. So I hope they're wiping down the jet park every day. Carry on. We drove past that the other day. We drove past that, didn't we? The jet park.

I hope they're wiping down that semen. Those semen. They've come in to fish the... I know. They've come in to plunder the Southern Oceans and they're riddled with the vid. Jesus. This is a really embarrassing story

from a CNN analyst. God, this is funny. This is so great. So this guy's like known and his name's spread everywhere anyway, Jeffrey Toobin. He was on a Zoom call with lots of people,

serious people. He's 60 years old. And I initially thought he thought the Zoom call had ended. But no, he just believed that he was on mute and that he was off camera. Right. And he decided during this very serious Zoom call that he would have some fun times by himself.

So he was connected to CNN with a host of other commentators. He thinks he's on mute and off camera, so he decides to have a masty. But was it a pre-recorded thing or was it live? It wasn't on CNN. Oh, okay. It wasn't on CNN. This is a video call with staffers. Just a meeting.

Okay. But with important people. Yeah. Yeah. Very important people. And he, yeah, believed he was off camera. I don't know how that happens because you can see yourself, right? Or at least...

You can see, although when... It goes quite small, doesn't it? So maybe he thought it wasn't on. Or can't you set it so that whoever's talking goes big on the screen? Yes. Yeah. Maybe that was the deal. He has had to apologise to his family, his friends and co-workers.

He said, I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I'd muted the Zoom video. I apologise to everyone. I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake. It's that one where it would have been that Zoom where if you're not talking, you're not on screen. And the person who's talking gets the big screen

and then the last few people that talked are at the top. So he would have been like. Some people love that danger though, don't they? But. They love the danger. He's mid-serious chat. I know. And.

And now the entire world knows that during a Zoom call, you're playing with yourself. How many times must have you played with yourself to get into the, like, being like, well, I've got to spice this up. I've got to start doing this more dangerously. How old is this man? 60. 60.

See, he's lifted all the water. Yeah, but he might have been doing it for 30 years. He might have done something in his 30s or his 20s, and he was like, well, he's lifted all the water. Yeah, but he might have been doing it for 30 years. He might have done something in his 30s or his 20s and he was like, well, that's that. I can't. You know how when the call ends? You know when people end the call

and then it's just you? Yeah. That's how he realised. Because at the end he was just on his own camera. He was the only one left. Touching his pain. But so had he, maybe we don't need to know, but had he tabbed to a different tab to look at something else or was he just, he's 60, you know what it's like sometimes

with your parents sorting out Skype and stuff. It's very, yeah. I mean, that'd be absolutely scarring if you saw your parents anyway. Yep. Now, it's often been said we could turn to the older in our society for pearls of wisdom or racism. Often, they think they're the same thing. It's a fine line.

A very fine line. You'd be like, that is a great piece of advice. Yeah. Granddad, we don't great piece of advice. Yeah. Granddad? Granddad, we don't say those words anymore. Yeah. That's how quickly the tides can change on that one. But a British rest home went around in, I don't know,

just an attempt to get a bit of social exposure for the rest home or to help socialise people who have been pretty much locked away since this whole COVID thing happened. I know, because you kind of forget about that. Like, the rest home residents have been, even probably now, it's still very strict. If you're a high risk, yeah, you've got to be super careful, especially over there.

I mean, we've got far more freedoms here. Yeah, I think they were talking about more lockdowns in the UK tonight. Yeah, Manchester apparently, real problem. So they asked, they thought, what advice would you give younger generations? And they went around some of the older people and some of them are cute. Oh, look at you, you melted Megan's heart already. That's so cute.

Bet, which I assume is short for Betty, which is short for Elizabeth. Blew my mind when I found out Betty was short for Elizabeth. Yeah. That was off the last part. Simple advice, keep your legs together. That's Bette's. That's Bette's advice.

Is this where this is right? Okay. No, it's not all like that because then Coral's next. She said a few points. Think before you ink. And that was about writing, but also pretty apt

before you get a tattoo. For tattoos, yeah. A smile goes a long way. Never go to bed without apologising for an argument. That's a good one. Turn your back on an argument rather than a thump. Oh, okay,

yeah. I don't get it. Well, if you turn your back when it's at the stage of an argument, you're not going to get a thump. I assume. Two minds are better than one. That means, you know, work together. Margaret stepped up with some advice. Margaret is pretty much Megan.

Spend all your money. That's what. You can't take it to heaven Margaret stepped up with some advice. Margaret is pretty much Megan. Spend all your money. That's what. Yeah. You can't take it with you. You can't take it to heaven or hell, can you? I literally always say that when I'm at the shopping cart. I'm like, well, if I get hit by a bus, then that is not sitting in my bank account.

No, you can't have that sitting there doing nothing. Poor Mr. Toyboy. Megan gets hit by a bus. He's like, well, at least I've got the save. Oh, no. Oh, no. No, sir. No.

She's just. Oh, thank God. I've got another ASOS order on the way. That'll help. Don't be pushed around. Have some cheek. Enjoy yourself while you're young. And if you're nice to people more often than not, they'll be nice to you.

That's what Margaret. Oh, that's nice. Margaret's other points. Tom said, have a nice Christmas. Oh. Is that all? Tom. Tom didn't have any advice.

Tom got a mixed message there. Tom's slightly confused as to what it was. This is quite cool from Rosalyn. An older lady said, what is your advice for younger generations? She said, I admire them for their independence. They're not afraid to try anything. Younger people are so much wiser than I was at that age.

Very rare to hear someone say that. Yeah, sounds like she's got some regrets there. Not living life. Yeah. And Tony, who looks like regrets there. Not living life. Yeah. And Tony, who looks like an old mate who would definitely chew your ear off about something you didn't want to talk to him about. Race-based, religion-based, all those classic, you know, females and how, you know, they're a bit lippy now. What advice would you give the younger generation?

He said, just be yourself. Oh. Solid advice. I can't wait till Fletch is at a rest home and someone asks him. Never trust anybody. Ever. Ever. Ever.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. We knew that Kirsten Dunst was in New Zealand working on The Power of the Dog. And she came with her husband, that guy is in everything. Jesse. He was in Breaking Bad. Yeah.

Yeah. Jesse Flemmings. He was on Breaking Bad. Yeah. Jesse Flemmings. He was told on Breaking Bad. Yep. He was on that really intense episode of Black Mirror. He was in 24. Remember 24 back in the day? Yeah.

He was in that. He's been in so many things. Oh, was he? Yeah. So they came to New Zealand. Friday Night Lights. Was he? Yep.

Carry on. So the cast and crew, they did agree to be tested prior to departure from wherever they were coming from. On arrival in New Zealand and also once the 14-day isolation period had been completed. So they did it, didn't they? They did the 14 days, curse and dunce. Because I remember they, but didn't they try to get like, not out of it, but do their own somewhere? But they couldn't. I think at the time that was a thing. Oh, trying to go to like a nice place. But but do their own somewhere, but they couldn't. I think at the time that was a thing.

Oh, trying to go to like a nice place. But they did their 14 days, so good on them. I remember them saying it was very hard in lockdown with like a young baby. But it has been revealed that she got her nanny over. Now the trouble with that is the nanny's not really an essential worker. I mean, essential for Kirsten, I'm sure. But the nanny managed to come through the borders as an essential worker

and that's left a lot of people quite upset. Imagine being stuck in isolation with her for 14 days. Mr. Sheffield! So the problem they have is that we have many skilled workers, especially in that area in New Zealand. So they could have hired like a local. Yeah, but it's her nanny, isn't it? The kids would know her or that kid.

She's really famous. Yeah. And here's the thing. The movie needs her here to happen. Yeah. So let's just do whatever it takes because all these people are employed in this movie in New Zealand. That's the bigger picture. That's the way

I look at it. I don't see a problem with this. How is she going to spend all that time interviewing someone and then like signing NDA and going through that whole process, making sure that no one in New Zealand's like, oh my god, I nannied for Kirsten Dunst. Yeah, because Sharon gets a job nannying for Kirsten Dunst and she's telling the midweek newspaper

all about it. Sharing everything on her Instagram stories and TikTok. The Timaru Gazette. Yeah. But, yep. I'd say the nannies still would have gone through the quarantine and everything. There was no risk in that sense, right? Yeah, they haven't just fast-tracked the

nanny through. No, no, no, no. So I don't see the big deal here. She's not an essential worker. And they've said that they-tracked the nanny through. No, no, no, no. So I don't see the big deal here. She's not an essential worker. And they've said that they are bringing in more workers, essentially, aren't they? Essential workers for different industries. Yeah. Well, as long as they go through the isolation thing.

Then, yeah, exactly. I'd still love to have been a nanny, though. Why? Just because I feel like there'd be lots of treats. Oh. Oh, yeah, and you have to look after the kids. Yeah, but then you have been a nanny, though. Why? Just because I feel like there'd be lots of treats. Oh. Oh, yeah, and you have to look after the kids. Yeah, but then you have to look after it. Yeah.

Crying baby. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the vulnerable ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. It's welcome back to the Air New Zealand Mystery Weekend. This is where you pay the money, and I don't know if it's just a roll of the dice, and you get to the airport and that's when you find out where you're going.

Because I always think, like, they'd just be looking at the loads and the seats that were free a few days before your mystery break, and they'd just put you on the flight so we're empty. You just have to go there. Which I couldn't convince Sade to go somewhere like Whanganui, for example. Yeah. Because she's a snob. Yeah. But if you just rolled the dice and you ended up going,

I reckon you'd have so much fun discovering some places around New Zealand. I reckon, Megan, don't screw your face up like that. I just need, you know where you want to go. Just go there. No, I know, but like, I actually kind of like the idea of just getting dumped somewhere. Yeah, I know. I'm such a planner though. I know.

I like to plan a bit of. I like to plan and know. Because otherwise you get there and you're like, okay, so what do we do here? Who knows? Get on TripAdvisor or a local Jason's. It's Jason's motel guide. It's right up your alley. Yeah.

You wouldn't care at all. I love chaos. You'd love chaos. Because you're care at all. You'd love chaos. Because you're easily pleased too. You'll be like, there's a nice beach and ice cream. I am easily pleased. Oh God.

So apparently they'll start from $5.99 and that will provide you with tickets to one of 20 mystery destinations across the domestic network. $5.99. so that's flights and accommodation and transfers for the weekend. So they have announced they'll be working with a core hotel

so they have a whole range of hotels. Now apparently there will be different tiers. So there'll be three tiers from the classic mystery break and a three to four star accommodation right up to luxury at $1629 per person. Whoa!

You said luxury and I was like yes and then you said the price and I was like no. That's $3200 and blah blah blah. Over $3200 for two for a weekend.

But I mean that would include like spas. That's a two week holiday. Yeah, that would include spas and all that kind of stuff for rich people. Like a whole 10 or anything. Yeah. Wait, is that a weekend? Yeah. So that would, spas and all that kind of stuff for rich people. Like a whole lot of tan or anything. Yeah.

Wait, is that a weekend? Yeah. So that would, even for the lower one, that would include a transfer or rental car for that weekend. Interesting. Okay. I need to talk to people who have done some of these. Roll of the dice.

Yeah. Well, it hasn't been around for a long time, eh? Yeah. It says here there is also the ability to nominate one place you would prefer not to go. Oh, so you can veto one. So you prefer not to go, not the place you want to go. Where do you really not want to go? No, but like, I'd probably veto Nelson, because like...

You go there all the time. You're from there. Yeah, that's my home. So that's a bit weird. Oh, I think it's exciting. But there's 20 destinations. Let's be honest, there's only a few

you really want to go to and the first one is Queenstown. Of course. These are the top six things you'll think when you arrive at your Air New Zealand Mystery Weekend location.

Number six. Oh, wow, this is in Queenstown? Yeah. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six things you'll think when you arrive

at your Air New Zealand Mystery Week weekend location. It could still be Queenstown somehow. Number four on the list of the top six things you'll think when you arrive at your Air New Zealand mystery weekend location. We've got a rental car. We can drive to Queenstown from here, right? Number three on the list of the top six things you'll think

when you arrive at your Air New Zealand Mystery Weekend location. Look on the bright side at least. It's not Dunedin. Wait, it is Dunedin? Why is the airport in the middle of nowhere? Hey, we're pretty close to Queenstown. Number four on the, sorry, number two on the list of the top six things you'll think when you arrive at your Air New Zealand Mystery Weekend location.

Can we just stay on the plane and go back home? Because this isn't Queenstown. And number one on the list of the top six things you'll think when you arrive at your Air New Zealand Mystery Weekend location. Oh, my God, we got Queenstown. How are we going to afford to do anything now that we're here? So we kind of just put all our eggs in the basket of getting the tickets and now we're just kind of like,

we could just go and watch other people bungee jump. We could record someone that looks a bit like you and just say it was you. Yeah. Yeah, let's do that. That's today's top six. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast, ZM. A woman in Wellington.

She's lived in her home for eight years. She found out a year ago that the people over the road were building a new house. She got a letter. So we're going to build a house. Well, that was nice of them because... Do they even have to? I don't think you do.

You have to tell someone you're building a house next to them, do you? I guess it's a consent thing. Yeah, or you've got to keep your neighbours on side, although they're at war now. How are your neighbours? Oh, they're wonderful. Thanks for asking.

Three quarters, fantastic. So the house was built, but the roof is like, it says here that this woman, Luan, her issue is they haven't painted the roof. And so in the summer months, it's glaring. Look, there's the roof. Oh, she's a white roof. She's a white roof. And she's had to resort to wearing sunglasses inside the house

or shutting the curtains completely, like when it's a sunny day. Because it's just glaring in her. Because it's glaring in. At the height of the day the reflection angle puts it in her house. But isn't that what they do on photo shoots?

They have that person holding the big white thing so you get like all this good lighting. You're on a low light day and then they could have a dampener on another day. Or you see those people

sun tanning and they just have a little pretty good for the sun tan. Would you get sunburned? Like, if it was reflecting? Well, you know how if you ever buy the water, you can get sunburned under your chin. Or the snow, when you're on the snow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It reflects up under and it gets you. So, yeah, they're at Neighbours at War now. Because I think she's wanting them to paint it, but then I think they've offered her some window tints And she's like no And they reckon it could cost quite a bit of money to fix this So now they're like raging at war

And who pays right Yeah exactly It doesn't cost that much to paint your roof But then maybe it's a Does it go with the colour of the house If they paint the roof Are they going to have to paint the house to match Maybe

Oh it's like a white house. It's like a white house. Yeah, it looked weird. Go for a black roof. Surely a black roof. Nothing wrong with a black, a darker, a darker type of roof.

And then if you've got an HRV, your ceiling gets hotter and then you can take photos of your little HRV reading and have competition with your friends on who's got the hottest ceiling space.

That's only something you do. It's an awesome day in the life of Vaughn Smith. Well, no, because we don't have an HIV at our new place. Because it's a... I do miss that. You used to get those on the group chat. Look at the...

Look at how hot it is in the ceiling. They should put some solar panels on, but don't they reflect as well? Yeah, they'd reflect. Yeah. And then they could run an extension cord over and be like, sorry about the reflection, here's some free power.

Is that how it works when you have solar power? Plug in your telly, we'll show you a few hours of telly a day. Sure. Producer Mountie went away for a romantic weekend. Six years. Six years? Six year anniversary. Wow.

That's correct. A little ring. A little ring. A little ring on the thing. Nothing yet. No ring on the thing. I was waiting for a post. When I saw this post, I was like, ah, is there any? No, nothing.

There hasn't been this much anticipation since Vaughan was stalking Megan on that Rarotongan resort. I was waiting. In the sand dunes. If I hadn't got engaged on that trip, you would have absolutely ruined it for me. I was just convinced it was happening. You'd been told it was happening. And it did happen.

We foresaw it. I like basically, now I am married and have been for a while, I get to do that thing that people always used to do to me any time they go away for a weekend. Oh, this will be the weekend. You're just like, oh no, we just went away. Yeah, we just decided to go to a different location. Yeah, this will be the weekend. You're just like, oh, no, we just went away.

Yeah, we just decided to go to a different location. Yeah, I think you care more than me. Executive intern Anya, you must be... Get out of it. You guys go away for a lot of weekends. You guys go away for a lot of weekends. Yeah, she's never going to know which one is the one. Must be coming up.

I know how he's going to do it, too, because he takes all these cars for test drives because he writes about them for driven. He's going to be like, hey, could you just get that pie out of the glove box and you open up the glove box to this new transit van or whatever he's got for the weekend and there'll be a ring inside it. Yeah, the new very romantic Ford Transit. Hey, you put the mattress in the back, open it up at the beach.

Didn't you take a transit van They did they took it the other weekend Yes we did and he wanted to sleep in it And I said no Maybe he was planning something romantic He's not proposing in a van Did the review read like I'd love to tell you about the suspension of the Ford Transit

But somebody ruined it Anyway So a weekend away A lovely photo in a spa pool, and it was at that stage that you notice something about yourself. And I think we've all done this. We've all looked at a photo and been like, I didn't know I had that. Or I didn't know I'd put on that much weight. Which is not what your situation was.

I mean, it kind of is. So it was. It was a lovely outdoor bath, and I posted a cute photo, and it was kind of is, but so it was. It was a lovely outdoor bath and I posted a cute photo and it was kind of like a prom photo. So he's behind me, hugging me. And then I checked it a little later and noticed that I had a gun show going on. Yeah, they're getting all the guns out. Yeah.

The buys and the tries. Absolutely. And what are these ones called? Forearms. Foreys. The foreys. yeah. Yeah. The buys and the tries. Absolutely. And the, what are these ones called? Forearms. Foreys. The foreys. The foreys. The shoulders.

I had everything going on. The whole situation, it was a swallow-matic. Absolutely. So you were like, wow, okay, that's good. Yeah. Because you've been going to, what have you been doing? CX. No, I only do body balance, which is a lot tougher than it sounds because.

I struggle to balance every day. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I'll just fall over. I'll be like, oh, should have done that last. Yeah. But I think in particular,

the move that has really benefited me is the sun salutation because you go into downward dog and then you come forward into a plank. Right. And then you slowly lower yourself down. It's like a really slow push-up, reverse push-up. Yes, very slow.

Okay, so it's made you have guns. It's paid off. It's paid off. Right, okay. I wish I could say the same. The only thing I noticed once in a photo is that one of my eyes shuts a bit when I smile and my smile's wonky.

They photoshopped it in our latest promo shots. Not done a great job because there's a cavernous hole on the... If you see these new promo shots, they're easy to spot. There's a very violent green in the background. If you look on the left-hand side, you'll see my mouth is somewhat more cavernous on that side. I never noticed that until you just pointed that out. And my teeth stop happening.

This big gap here. Correct, correct. That's where my... Yep, circle that. That's where my, that's usually where my wonky smile happens, but that's been corrected. But, I mean, you always notice your own faults first, right? Can you use whiteboard marker on a Samsung TV?

No. I was about to. I wouldn't. Fuel, because I didn't want a forever green circle to be highlighting your cavernous gap. Are you saying they photoshopped me? Because I can see where they photoshopped Fletch as well. Oh, hey, rough.

Got rid of your crow's feet. Yeah, absolutely. Good. But me, they haven't touched. No, absolutely not. That's exactly as is, yeah. We wanted to ask the question this morning. On 0800DARLSATM and 9696,

what did you notice about yourself in a photo? Like what, maybe you hadn't noticed. And the weird thing is no one else will have noticed this.

No. There is no harsher critic than yourself. Like you said you had a wonky smile and Megan and I were just like, what are you talking about?

I'd never seen that before. I mean, I know your wonky eye. Yeah, I've got a wonky eye. I've got a parrot. I've got a Paris, I've got a Paris, but it was actually when it first happened,

it was when Paris Hilton had hers. So it was cool. It was kind of like hot. It was chic. Yeah, it was in bug. so hot.

But now that it's 15 years later, no. Yeah, right. And it's, you know, when you get older, your features exaggerate

and just get worse. It's going to be, one of them's just going to be shot. You're right, kid. Like Popeye. Yeah. Okay, so 0800-DARLES-AT-HEM, give us a call. What didn't you realise until you saw a pic of yourself?

This is going to be sad. Oh, it's going to be confronting maybe. But, you know, we're all adults here. It can be positive, like the gun show. Yeah, true. Yeah. Or maybe it's something you don't find positive. But hey, we've all got our quirks, don't we?

That's what makes us, hey, it takes all sorts, doesn't it? Hey, it does. Hey, it does. What did you realise about yourself when you saw yourself in a photograph? That maybe when you look in the mirror, you don't see. We were just discussing when you look in a mirror, you only ever look at yourself straight on. Unless you've got one of those mirror cabinets.

My grandparents had these growing up with like three mirrors and you could pull the sides out. Oh yeah. Oh no. And what I used to do

is I used to shut them right on my face and just look around and they looked like there was hundreds of my face. And you could look at yourself from every angle

if you stuck your head in far enough. There wasn't much to do at the grandparents' was there? Well it was mata mata but it was before Hobbiton. True. But yeah, it might have been a different angle that you saw yourself on

that made you realise something about yourself. Yeah. Amy, what did you realise when you saw a photo of yourself? Oh, God. I don't even know why I've called to say this. Hey, Amy. Amy. It takes courage.

Okay. So, you know, when you're out and about and people take photos of you at like a dinner setting or something on the side, well, I never actually really notice my side profile. And because I guess whenever I'm like getting ready and looking in the mirror, I only look at the front of myself. And sometimes I'll go to the side a little bit but not you can't completely see your actual side profile unless someone's taking a picture of you on the side yeah anyway i kind of thought i was quite good looking right amy you are you're

beautiful and then and then i looked at a couple pictures with when people because i never used to get into pictures, I used to hate them, but then I just started getting into them for like when Instagram became big and I was like, oh, I better look like I do something with my life. Yeah. Oh my God, isn't that a sad knock on itself? Aren't you just summing up everyone's life? Yeah.

And so I'd kind of try and do like the cute laughing, pretending not to look at the camera ones and oh my God. So I realised two things about my face. And so I'd kind of try and do like the cute laughing, pretending not to look at the camera ones. And oh my God. So I realised two things about my face. One, I don't have a chin. Right. You can have some of mine. I was going to say grow a beard, but that doesn't quite work.

No, you can't cover that with a beard, can you? And then two, I have a really long nose. And I've been called a couple of comments in, too, I have a really long nose. And I've been called a couple comments in the past, which I never thought were me, but Mr Burns. Oh, Amy! No! Yeah.

So I was like, oh, no. So when I smile, my teeth stick out, and I've got no chin with this huge nose, and I've had no idea that that's what I look like on the side. You thought it was just because you put your fingers together and go, excellent. Oh, Amy. This is why Instagram's bad, man. I've got a song

I want to play, Amy. Okay. Okay. This is for you, Amy. Oh my God. I love you. Okay. I'll just skip to the actual bit.

Yeah. Words can't bring me down. What a jam. What a jam. Absolutely. Amy, thank you for sharing this morning. Nick, what did you... Hey, Tim, how are we?

Good, mate. What didn't you... Hey, Tim, how are we? Good, mate. What didn't you realise about yourself until you saw a picture? Oh, we were... It wasn't... I knew I'd put on a wee bit of weight. I'm sort of in my 30s now, and it wasn't until we were up on holiday in Tahuna

that my wife took a wee few photos of me and my wee boy swimming at the beach that I realised how fat my back had got. Oh, Nick, Nick. That was a bad angle. Baby weight. Yeah, baby. Yeah was a bad angle. Baby weight. Yeah, baby. Yeah, that's what I called it.

Don't be hard on yourself. Were you sitting down? Was it a bad angle? No, no, no, no. I was standing up. Yep, we were playing in the waves, so, yeah. No, no, because even

those Instagram models do it. They show how they hunch over their pocket when it goes a bit chubs. So, you know, it's just that. And it is weird. The back is a weird thing to have photographed

because you never ever see it. No, you don't. And you never wash it, do you? You never And it is weird. The back is a weird thing to have photographed because you never ever see it. No, you don't. And you never wash it, do you? You never wash your back properly. Just with water. But you don't let the water in a bit of soap. You reach around a little bit. Soap up your head, do the job.

No. You're like, shoulders, pass this on to the back. Yeah, so a bit of a wake-up call. Right, okay. Yeah, there's a bit of a, when you see a photo, you're like, oh, okay. Yep, probably should exercise a bit more. Yeah, no, I've just been at the gym. Okay, Nick.

You're healthy and you're happy. You've got your little man and you're having fun. So that's... Oh, yeah, that's the one, yeah. Far bigger priorities. All right, thanks. You're cool, Nick. Thanks for sharing.

Awesome text messages. No, I just didn't turn this song off. It's depressing. It's not supposed to be depressing. I know, it's supposed to be up know. It's supposed to be uplifting. It's meant to be uplifting. Hold on. Hold on.

You've got a different one. Yeah, this one. Hold on. Sorry, everybody. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Right.

That's more uplifting. That's more uplifting. Yes, this is more uplifting. Okay. I learned from a photograph that my nose is a lot bigger than I thought. Sticks out. Sticks out. I've only ever seen it front on.

I was offended when I saw it. Front angles only now, please. Last Christmas, I noticed when I concentrate on photos, I'm trying to look good, my toes spread apart, and the second one lifts up off the sandal. But it only ever happens when I'm concentrating. What's the sandal? You're just like clenching.

Yeah, your body's like stabilised. I've got to stop. One eye always seems half closed in photo. This could be me texting. This is you, Bourne. But it's when you've got a big smile on your face. So, I mean, God, if one eye shuts because you're happy, who cares? But one eye seems half closed in photos and it looks like I'm having a stroke.

I have tried opening that one eye extra each time there's a photograph, but then I look like a psycho. That's you too as well. Yeah, I know. You really try to get it. I didn't realise how disproportionate my legs were to my torso because I only ever looked down and see them but I just thought

they looked smaller because they were further away. Oh my god, that's so true. My legs are thin and athletic and long whereas my torso

has been described previously as cuddly. These things happen. A guy back with me texts me, drops me into the studio that feels somewhat targeted. Oh my god, I saw a photo of myself

from not a front-on angle. When did I start looking so old from the side? It's the thing you won't ever see yourself front-on. Don't be shocked. Prepare for the worst. No, don't. What ever? Whatever you work it out,

how are you going to work it? I always knew that I had to get onto my front teeth. Got to get onto your self-to-do list. It wasn't until I started looking at photos of myself that I realised, oh my God, they're bloody huge. It took me 33 years to figure that out. Where am I? This is great for eating.

I could have texted that in. Very handy for... Yeah, because you... What did you... I've got composites on my teeth. Because I never used to open my mouth. All my photos, I'd close my mouth because I was ashamed of my teeth. Guys.

Don't. This is the thing. You two had never noticed. No, I had never, ever noticed. All of these texts, people probably never noticed. So don't be so harsh on yourself. I had a school photo around 12. Okay, go back to your old teeth.

Well, they're on now, you know. They're there. Wait a minute, what did you get put on? Composites. What does that mean? It's like Play-Doh on top of your teeth. But harder. And you have real thick teeth now.

Reasonably thick, yep. How come you don't talk like this? It's their dental professionals. When people change anything in their mouth, it seems like their tongue forgot to change. Yeah. Just not the movement they used to professionals. When people change anything in their mouth, it seems like their tongue forgot to change. Yeah. Just not my movement heavy yesterday. Somebody said

I had a school photo and I realised that my ears stuck out because I tied my hair up. I asked my dad if I could get surgery to fix them. He said,

I beg your pardon, Yoda? Dad, say that sort of thing. That's what dads have to do. They have to pull you back in line and tell you to stop being silly. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Tonight, 8.30, TVNZ2, sort of thing. That's what dads have to do. They have to pull you back in line and tell you to stop being silly. Tonight, 8.30, TVNZ2, Taskmaster New Zealand has its first episode.

We're joined in studio by one of the cast members, Guy Williams. Good morning. It's so good to be here, guys. Just glad to be out of the house. Glad to be semi-employed. I'm excited.

Yeah. Employment's always an exciting proposition, isn't it? Well, I've been up to so little. It's at the point now where I'm just getting heckled by kids in the park. Kids will be like, you're from Jono and Ben. I'm like, no, that show was cancelled. I'm from a new show called New Zealand Today,

which was also cancelled. So I'm so glad to be just out and talking to people and earning a little bit of money. It's just, I'm living the dream. So Taskmaster in the UK was Greg Daniels, who just kind of like... Greg Davies. Davies.

You've done a minimum level of research, almost. It starts with a D. Yeah, you're in the ballpark, man. He was the, on the Inbetweeners was the principal. Yeah. Wasn't it? Yeah, there you go. Yeah.

So he... Megan has no idea What we're talking about At any point here I love that No I know the in betweeners That was a good reference Is

Is Is Jeremy Wells A Greg Davies Or is he Davies Cutting his own Cutting his own part No Greg Davies

Is quite full on Jeremy Wells Is like more Kiwi styles You know chilled out You know like Greg Davies You know And people overseas get more excited about things In America or UK You do something weird and they'll be like

What the hell was that man In New Zealand Jeremy Wells it doesn't matter You can be in a G string running through a rugby game And just be like yeah that's normal it's New Zealand bro Because he's worked with Mikey Havoc for so long He's seen some stuff He's seen traumatic stuff Nothing shocks him anymore.

Explain Taskmaster for us. I don't know how it works, really. Basically, I've done it, and it's five comedians competing in just completely meaningless tasks. And it doesn't sound that good to begin with, but can I say that this show mentally pushed me to the brink? And as someone who my whole career has been nothing but humiliation, this is

one of the most humiliating things and toughest things I've ever been a part of. There were days when I literally bought line one to cry. Like the tasks were mental. No, one of the tasks no, no, no, no, I don't want to swear was a guy my brother, my brother's the host by the way

how weird is that? Like on any other show, you know, you'd meet an international, exciting host. In New Zealand, it's just your brother. Imagine going on The Bachelorette, being excited to meet a babe, and out of the car steps your sister. That's New Zealand, right?

That's New Zealand. Sorry we didn't tell you. It's just very short on contestants. So he gives me the task, and the task is sit fifth form, or year, whatever you call it now, 11, maths, a stats paper. And I sat down and I was like, I did okay in maths. This should be fine.

I had an hour to do it. I couldn't figure out one question. I was just sitting there, eight cameras filming me. There's nothing going on. I'm just doing the maths, failing miserably. In my mind, I'm like, my dad hates me. My mum doesn't love me. I'm stressing out. I'm sweating through the math. Failing miserably. In my mind, I'm like, my dad hates me. My mum doesn't love me. I'm stressing out.

I'm sweating through the paper. I just want to get one. I don't know how to find X. I can't find X. I'm going mental. And at the end of all that, after that mental anguish, where I almost went back into the changing room and cried, I get back into the studio and they tell me that

the other contestants didn't even do that task. It was a prank just for me. I've never felt so dumb in my life. I've never felt so dumb in my life. I've never felt so embarrassed in my life. And it was, could you guys pass for four maps? No. It was so hard. Horrible.

Yeah, at the time, but there's no way I'd be able to do any of it now. Yeah, it was just like, it made me, it gave me anxiety. I just don't know. It was a bad time in my life and I hope my pain is entertaining for other people. I think that's a good way to describe my life and I hope my pain is entertaining for other people. I think that's a good way to describe the show.

I hope my pain is entertaining for other people. Who's the toughest contestant amongst the other comedians participating? Leigh Hart, Madeline Sami, Brinley Stamps and Angela Dravid. Well, Brinley was the smartest. Like Leigh's a dumbass, Mads is a dumbass. Angela's a space cadet. Brinley was like, Brinley had the smartest. Like Lee's a dumbass. Mads is a dumbass. Angela is a space cadet.

Brinley was like, Brinley had seen the show in the UK. And it's like playing a board game a little bit where there's like weird little twists that you have to know. And there's always like an easier way of doing things. I never knew the easy way. I always took the long way. One of the challenges was just like hide and seek. We had to find the taskmaster. It took me an hour and a half.

She just like looked at the map and found him in like 12 minutes. Like it was like crazy, like how easy some things were and just how my brain just stuffed everything up. And whereas Brinley was like a harsh competitor. Yeah. She's like a bit of a deviant. Yeah. Just someone who knew how to cheat well.

Yeah. Yeah. That's the way to go. She's like the Australian rugby team. Yeah. Whereas Lee was more my style, like an idiot man who just tries to do everything big and yeah, he really

sucked at them and that's why I liked me and Lee were like down the bottom. Who wants to win the competition anyway? I want to come last. That's more of the exciting thing. So at the end of the series, someone will be crowned the champion. Yeah, you win a giant golden head. You win Jeremy Wells' head and I kind of want to win that because it's kind of big for me. I'm working with Jeremy Wells, Lee Hart a giant golden head. You win Jeremy Wells' head. And I kind of want to win that

because this is kind of big for me. I'm working with Jeremy Wells, Lee Hart, and Madeline Sami, like three comedy icons for me. But I love Madeline Sione's wedding. I literally plagiarized Jeremy Wells' career. So for me, winning a big... You guys shouldn't have laughed at that. You're like, yeah, you did, mate.

Yeah, you did. And by the way, let's talk about how you did a segment that was exactly like the Eric Andre show one time. Yeah.

So, yeah, to try and impress Jeremy Wells would be kind of big for me. I'm embarrassed I said that out loud. That's embarrassing. But does he like

your brother better than you? Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Everyone likes my brother better than me. I've got three siblings. My sister's the most popular, then my brother, and then I'm the loser.

No one likes me. I mean, understandably, I'm very annoying. Is your sister in season two or hosting? She rolls Jeremy Wells. She's probably the host of season two, knowing the way New Zealand goes. Well, Taskmaster starts tonight and is then, thus, henceforth, 8.30 every Wednesday night on TVNZ2.

Guy Williams, thanks. It's genuinely worth watching. And I don't say that. I've done very few things that are. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. This is shook Fletch. You've never seen this before. But like I remember it from when I was little.

People doing this. Right. Grabbing, in this scenario, it's a milk arrowroot biscuit. So like just the plain milk biscuits. No, bloody good biscuit for crushing up music as a cheesecake, though. Is it? Right. It's like a super wine, but it's like a...

It's oval. Oval. And they're quite thick. Yeah, okay. But it's just, yeah, it's just a milky biscuit. I remember we had them in the pantry as kids and I think mum and dad bought them because they knew we wouldn't eat them because they're yuck.

They're delicious vanilla. Now that I am a dad, 90% of why dads buy biscuits is they buy the ones they don't have to share. I think, yeah, my parents did this with a, what was the other one? Wine biscuit. Super wines. Super wines, yeah.

And malt biscuits as well. Only good in a lolly cake. Yeah. Yeah. And as a biscuity base for a cheesecake. Yeah. A guy has shared a photo of his milk arrowroot biscuits on an Australian nostalgia page.

But this is definitely what we used to do here. So he has slathered, and when I say slathered, there's slathered. Slathered. Slathered. Slathered. Oh, is it slathered? Isn't it open slather and slather?

No, it's open slather. Yeah. It's open slather. Slather. Slathered. Slather. Slathered. Oh, no.

Slathered. Is it slathered? Isn't it my Russian cousin, a slather? Slathered. Slathered. Slathered. Slathered. It with butter.

Yeah, slather. Spread or smear. Thickly or liberally? Rolly thick. Rolly thick. Yeah. It looks like a butter. That's your classic Ian Smith approach to a Girl Guide biscuit.

My dad used to do that. Butter up a Girl Guide. Marge up a Girl Guide biscuit. Yeah, margarine or butter and make a sandwich but the middle is butter or margarine. Yuck. That's almost as thick

as the biscuit itself, the amount of butter. I couldn't do that with marge. I mean, I'd give it a bite if it was butter in the middle

but even then I think that's quite yuck. Like put icing in the middle or something. If you're going to put anything, make some icing. Well, maybe that's the vibe. It was like a slightly toned down cameo middle or something. If you're going to put anything. Yeah. Make some icing. Well, maybe that's the vibe. It was like a slightly toned down cameo cream or something.

Like a homemade Oreo. Yeah. But like if you wanted to zhoosh up your biscuit. An Oreo for white people who find Oreos a bit spicy. A boomer's Oreo. Or an icing and chocolate. Oh, no, thank you. I'll stick to butter and plain biscuits.

But yeah, I remember my parents doing it with margarine, not butter. So he's bouged it up a little bit. But I don't think we need to bring that back, do we? Lots of people were like, I remember doing this. I'm going to do it again. Like, we need to bring this back. Not when you can get a pack of biscuits so cheap. You can get nice.

Even if you've got a budget brand biscuit. Oh, yeah. Get a nicer biscuit if you've got a budget brand biscuit. Oh, yeah. But if, yeah, get a nicer biscuit if you want to This icing in the middle of two plain biscuits

theory that you've put forward to the panels it interests me. I won't lie to you. Well, it's like an Oreo but it's homemade, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. But I don't know

if you'd go chocolate or you'd go just a white icing. I was eating a crispy the other day and the crispy was chocolate coated. Now, they've never chocolate coated

the crispies before. Oh, that's fantastic. Yeah, was that a good take on it? Oh, it was chocolate coated. Now they've never chocolate coated the crispies before. Oh, that's fantastic. Yeah, was that a good take on it? Oh, it was, yes. Yeah. Yes. But again,

as a kid, I would have turned my nose up at a crispy because I felt like I was being done out of a chocolate biscuit. Yeah, same. Isn't it?

So true. What is it when you're a kid like you could look at something and be like, that's going to be yuck because it doesn't have chocolate on it. And you just look at

just nothing but chocolate and you're like, oh yeah. Like when you're a kid, you eat cocoa powder something and be like, that's going to be yuck because it doesn't have chocolate on it. And you just look at just nothing but chocolate. And you're like, oh, yeah. Like when you're a kid, you eat cocoa powder because you're like, oh, it looks and smells a bit like chocolate. So I could go with what I know or I could have a mouthful of this dry stuff on the off chance that it tastes like chocolate. And then you're like. Flesh, fauna, Megan, the podcast.

ZM. Hey, you on the phone. I bet I can guess your mum's name. Playing this morning, Kayla, good morning. Hey, guys, how are you going? Good, good, welcome. Welcome to Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name. Vaughan now has five questions for you, Kayla, and we'll have 15 seconds to guess your mum's name if he can do that.

$100 cash. Perfect. Okay, question number one for you, Kayla, and we'll have 15 seconds to guess your mum's name if you can do that. $100 cash. Perfect. Okay. Question number one for you, Kayla. What's your mum's favourite biscuit? Oh, I don't know. Something definitely with chocolate. She's a chocolate fiend. Okay. I reckon she'd love a Mallow Puff or a Squix. Yeah, probably, to be honest. But are we talking about like a chocolate chip biscuit or like a pine biscuit covered in chocolate or like a biscuit that's all about the chocolate,

yeah, your Tim Tam? Like a chocolate thin. Yeah, probably like a Tim Tam or a mellow puff. Yeah, okay, all right. Chocolate thin. She sounds like an upper class mum. Straight out the gate. Damn.

Straight out the gate. But she'd do that thing where she eats it and then she has that mum regret. Oh, I didn't need two of those. I didn't need all of that muffin. She's going to have half of this. Mum says that every time she eats a muffin. Well, I didn't need all of that muffin.

I won't need dinner. Do you know, second question, do you know how your mum voted in the referendum? I do know. Should I say? Yeah, I reckon. She voted for Jacinda. Oh no, referendum, I meant like the end of life and the legalisation of cannabis, which we're still waiting on. Two weeks for those. Yes, I do know that too.

She voted yes for end of life and no for marijuana. Oh, okay. Weird with her pension on for chocolate biscuits, I thought she would have been all's it. She voted yes to end the life and no for marijuana. Oh, okay. Weird with her pension on for chocolate biscuits. I thought she would have been all about us. She doesn't want to eat too many chocolate biscuits.

Yes to death. I put no to weed, yes to death. Okay. What kind of car does mum drive? She drives a Nissan Wingroad. A Wingroad? What is a Wingroad?

Oh, it's like a stationery wagon-y thing. Oh, okay. Yep. Okay. Wingroad. She must need to put a lot of stuff in the boot. Oh, yeah. That's a good lead-on to the question, isn't it?

It's like, what does she need that for? And maybe she takes the dogs out. Maybe she's very active. Yeah. Maybe she plays golf. Now I'm thinking quite an active sort of mum. Which obviously all things to do with her name. Hey, we're building a picture. We're building a picture. Alright, we're like those police investigators. Alright, now we know she's got Kayla

because you're on the phone with us, but does she have other kids and what are their names? She does. So I have a sister called Georgia and a brother called Riley. Okay. Georgia and brother, bro Riley. Can I just confirm the spelling of Riley?

No, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It's R-I-L-E-Y. That's what I had. And final question, what's mum-I-L-E-Y. That's what I had. Yeah, right. Okay. All right. And, uh, final question. What's mum's favourite holiday spot? Oh, um, Australia.

She wants to move there. Why? Just leave your kids behind. No, she's taking them with her. I'm older, so I don't matter. Right. I could imagine her moving to the Goldie, Queensland somewhere. Maybe Noosa.

Yep. The Goldie. Yep. I knew she'd be the Goldie Queensland somewhere. Maybe Noosa. Yeah, the Goldie. Yep. I knew she'd be a Goldie girl. Goldie gal. Goldie. Hmm. Okay.

I mean, we've painted a picture here, haven't we? I tell you what, she's going to want to put her chocolate biscuits in the fridge on the Goldie. Wouldn't leave those in the pantry. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's too hot a climate for a pantry. It would have melted and there'd be a snake in the packet. Okay. All right, Vaughan Smith be a snake in the packet. Okay. All right, Vaughan Smith. That's my five questions.

You've asked your questions. You now have 15 seconds to guess Kayla's mum's name. Now, Kayla, if you hear Vaughan say your mum's name, please yell out, stop, that's my mum's name. Here we go. Your time starts now. Lynette, Vicky, Jane, Carol, Angela, Tracy, Margaret, Suzanne, Nicola, Patricia, Jackie, Tanya, Fiona.

Was it Jackie? Tanya? Jackie. Jackie! Jackie! Jackie loves her chocolate biscuits. She's got a station wagon. Is it short for Jacqueline?

It's short for Jacqueline. Yeah, because that was what I was like. I had Jackie written down, but I wondered if it might be a Jacqueline that prefers the entire. Yeah, Jackie. Wow. Okay, you did it again, Vaughn. The streak continues. God, he gets a big head when this happens, Kayla.

I don't. I'm very humble. Bonus round! While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. All right, can you do it? Two weeks in a row. It's Jackie and... Chris.

Paul. It is one of those names. It's one of those names. It's one of those names. You know, like that kind of era of names. Oh, do you hear Jackie and Paul are moving to the Goldie? See, it rolls really well. Yeah, doesn't it? But then Chris says, oh, Chris and Jackie are off down the road,

down the golf club in the wing road. It works as well. So much room for his golf clubs. Oh, shit. Hide the Tim Tams, Jackie and Doug Doug are coming over Nah, Doug's too old

Nah, it's not Doug Doug's too old Well, you only get one guess I'm locking in Paul You're locking in Paul? Kayla, what is your dad's name? No, my dad's name's Aaron Aaron!

Aaron and Jackie, that's Oh, yeah That works Hey, well, Kayla, congratulations Aaron and Jackie that works hey well Kayla congratulations Aaron and Jackie both voted Jacinda surprises me always had them picked as national voters

hey Kayla well done 100 dollars well done congratulations well done I mean you didn't do much you were born your mum's got a name she did all the hard lifting here Thank you. Well done. I mean, you didn't do much. You were born. Simple questions. You were born. Your mum's got a name. She did all the hard lifting here.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Nine-month pregnant, 28-year-old woman has just absolutely left me for dead. She has done a mile and five minutes. How long's a mile? 1.6 Ks. She's done a mile in five minutes. How long's a mile? 1.6 k's. She's done that. In five minutes. Five minutes, 20 seconds.

And how pregnant? Nine months. She's ready to give birth at any moment. That is hoofing it. Is she trying to shake it out? There's a video of it. Yeah. She was running fast.

She's running fast. She's running fast. But she said she made a bet with her partner because she's always been a runner. So she made a bet with her partner that she could do the mile sub six minutes and then she would get a hundred bucks. And so he had to cough up the cash because she did it. Wow. Okay. So that's still a great pace and she's heavily pregnant. Yeah. Could not catch her breath at the end of it. Wow, okay. So that's still a great pace and she's heavily pregnant. Yeah. Could not catch her breath at the end of it. And I bet the comment section is full of really...

That's fine. I was like, even if I'd done that, I don't think I'd upload it. Because it was posted on TikTok. And do you want to guess what some of the comments were? Shouldn't be doing that. What does your doctor feel about her running so much while heavily pregnant? I don't think you should be doing this at nine months. But obviously, she's spoken to her doctor and they're very well aware of her normal exercise regime.

Everyone's different. What are you allowed to do and what aren't you allowed to do? It very much depends on what you did before you were pregnant. So if your body's conditioned to doing weights and running, then it should be fine for you to continue. I'm not a doctor. This is just what I got told. Always check. But that's...

So me running that would not be good. No. Because you couldn't do that before. Her running that seems to be fine. Right. Okay. But yeah, it does make me feel... I had to jog.

What would we say jog? Shuffle to the rubbish bin. Shuffle in a hurry. In a hurry to the rubbish bin to put Leo's poos in the bin yesterday and it nearly killed me. Oh, and your belly's shaking. I was just like, I don't know how people do this. Let's not focus on the negatives.

Have you achieved anything, a positive feat? I went for a walk. Bingo. How far? It was half an hour. Wow. That's good. I don't know how far we went.

Yeah, but you did it. Yep. And I've been doing walks every day because that's pretty much all I can muster. Eaten a whole pack of biscuits yet? No. Well, there's some at AIM4. But I also haven't eaten any like thing weird like soap powder or anything like that.

No pregnancy cravings? No, not really. But off the back of this woman and we are all different. We don't need to judge ourselves on her feet and it could be

a very small feet. Yeah. But would love to know what your pregnancy feet was. Maybe even touching your feet or seeing your feet. I can still touch my feet. Can you? Yeah. That's good. That's a feat. That's a feat.

So what did you do while pregnant? Yeah, it can be biscuits. A whole pack of biscuits. It can be running a mile in some six minutes. Any kind of feat. Eating or exercise or anything. Something maybe you amazed that you did while pregnant. Yeah, you amazed yourself.

Just like, wow wow I did that Look at me go ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast A woman in the states has shocked everyone By running a sub six minute Mile While nine months pregnant

She's very fit and she was a runner beforehand But we would love to know what your pregnancy feat was You just ran to the rubbish bin and that got you. Oh, shuffled. Shuffled swiftly. Shuffled swiftly. And I was like, oh. Heidi, what was your amazing pregnancy feat?

I planted a hedge while I was nine months pregnant. Planted a hedge? Planted a hedge? Yeah. Dug the holes. Oh, no. Oh, my God. No.

Digging holes is hard work. Absolutely. I also was dancing the night before I went into labour at a barbecue. We had a party with friends. No. Just sounds too full on, Heidi. I'd be so grays with you. Yeah.

I'd just be on the couch. I can't dig a hedge. I can't dig holes. I'd get someone else to do it. Oh, come on. You can do anything you put your mind to. That's true. True.

Heidi, thanks for your call. Aroha, what was your amazing pregnancy feat? I trained the whole way through my pregnancy for Kapa Haka Regional, and I performed four weeks after I gave birth. Oh, wow. It was pretty hardcore. Because it's pretty physical, isn't it? I don't know how I did it. Oh, wow. It was pretty hardcore. Because it's pretty physical, isn't it? I don't know how I did it.

Yeah. Pardon? Pretty physical. It's pretty normal. It's pretty normal for a woman to perform and perform after pregnancy or even during. Yeah. I don't know if I'd be up for it four weeks after.

I thought you meant like during labour. You just went, hold on. I know. It's crazy. Let's get this done. for it four weeks after. I thought you meant like during labour, you just went, hold on. No, no, no. Let's get this done. Like just before, just after. Wow, incredible. Aroha, thanks for your call. Sarah, what was your amazing pregnancy feat?

Oh, I bought a unit and I did it up. I converted it from a one bedroom to a two bedroom in about a month and then I put it back on the market and made 50 grand. Oh, you were pregnant? Yeah. God, you like to bite off more than you can chew. Good Lord. What about paint fumes? Were there

any paint fumes? Yeah, probably. A few. But my husband had done his Achilles and he couldn't work, you see. So you had to step up. So he sent his poor, heavily pregnant woman back to work to make money so that her mum would come and bring beer while his Achilles healed. Right.

I bet you don't sound like you're still holding that over him at all. Sounds like water under the bridge. Sarah, thanks for your call. Jess, what was your amazing pregnancy feat? Hi, so I can't take credit for this, but it's my mum. She did CPR on someone when she was eight months pregnant with me. I was the firstborn. Then with my third sister, she ran half a marathon with her

when she was five months pregnant. Wow, she gave all of your oxygen to a stranger just temporarily yeah yeah i was gonna say you helped with that too actually you were on board you can claim that cpr we're all pretty crazy in my family we don't do things by halves well no she only did a half a marathon so technically you do do things yeah get out there running a fall and then we'll talk, Jess. Thanks for your call. Nicola, what

was your amazing pregnancy feat? So when I was eight months pregnant, my partner was DJing on New Year's Eve so I went out to the club and managed to make it past midnight. Yes! God! I can't do that now and I'm not pregnant.

I know, on New Year's you're like, God, do we have to be up past midnight? I know, I've got so many funny lips that are rocking around with my big belly. And also sober, like, oh yeah. Everyone else is not. So loud. Brilliant. Nicola, thanks, you called some text messages.

Someone said I was putting up scaffolding at our new house and painting the weatherboards on my due date. Someone said this doesn't surprise me. Every time I've been pregnant, all I feel like doing in the last trimester is getting stuff done. Really? They don't know what it is. I tiled a bathroom and a splashback and painted the ceiling of that bathroom when I was nine months pregnant. You should leave all your cafe business spreadsheets to do in the last trimester.

Because nobody ever wants to sit down and do the accounting, do they? Done. I started going into labour and my mother-in-law was there to watch The Firstborn while I went to

the birthing centre but I hadn't finished cooking dinner so I was like, I can wait. So I finished cooking dinner, got to the birthing centre at seven,

had the son at 7.30. Now that's good. That's getting it all done. That's getting it all done pretty good. I painted the bottom concrete bit of our house on my hands and knees when 36 weeks pregnant. Someone else messaged in saying all I felt like doing in the last month

was working and doing things and keeping busy. It's good to know your work ethic is going to be great just before Christmas. It's just making me feel bad. When is that going to kick in? All these women are superheroes and I'm like oh. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is mirrors in public increase public behaviour. Like they make it better. Because you see yourself. They improve public behaviour, isn't it? See yourself being a dick. Exactly that. You find it so much harder to misbehave and do antisocial behaviour if you can see

yourself doing it. Right. So what if you had a bar that was just full of mirrors? People would just spend ages looking at them and taking selfies and stuff. True. To be honest. But there's been some experiments done on mirrors in public places. Yeah. Loitering apparently. People don't even like to Yeah. Loitering, apparently. People don't even like to see themselves loitering. Really? Okay. They did experiments in a controlled condition

that involved a room without a mirror and a room with a mirror. And children were asked to sit at a table and said, oh, don't touch that candy. That's for somebody else. And then they'd disappear and monitor them. Yeah. 33% of children took the candy when there was no mirror.

What percentage, when there was a mirror in front of them, what do you think that percentage was? So a third took candy when there was a mirror. Oh, 5%. When there was no mirror. Or none. 10%. 8%.

So pretty much in the middle. I was closest, yeah. Well, and they say, yeah, mirrors can reduce stealing. If people are about to do something dishonest and they look up and they see themselves and they look themselves in the eye, it can reduce it. And also spitting.

Oh, okay. Yeah, right. Placing mirrors in places where people spit drastically reduced the amount of spitting left behind. Like there was spit marks on buildings. And people were like, first of all, there was those marks. They monitored it.

They worked out it was people walking, having a little spit. But then they put mirrors up and when people could see themselves and they were about to spit, they wouldn't. They'd spit somewhere else.

Where there was no mirror. So they're still spitting. Yes. Just not anywhere near the mirror. Not anywhere near the mirror. Wow. So today's fact of the day is when you can see yourself

being a rat bag, you're less likely to be a rat bag. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Just quickly, an update on your new favourite Instagramch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Just quickly, an update on your new favourite Instagram account, Vaughan.

Yeah, siblings or dating, where you get a photo of two people and you have to work out if they're just siblings or that they are indeed dating. Yeah. I just opened it just to clarify exactly what it is. I opened it and I was like, I know those people. And I paused and it was Israel Folau and Maria Folau. Wow. Okay.

Oh, this is good. Yeah. And it's a photo of them. Yeah. And 81% of people believe they're siblings at this stage. It's such a great Instagram account. Yeah. Oh, just so good.

How many people follow that account? Well, the other, oh no, it's gone now. I lost it. Right, okay. Oh, I don't. How many people follow that account? Well, the other... Oh, no, it's gone now. I lost it. Right, okay. Oh, I don't know. Here we go. Oh, 121,000. Was that 60,000 two days ago?

Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. She's climbing. Someone else has got a lot of followers, 145,000 followers. Hey, it's not a competition, but while we're talking numbers, Jared, you've hit 400 Instagram followers. Oh, yeah, boy. Yes, I have. Influencer.

What's your handle? Jared.Ski, S-K-I, Jared Ski. Jared Ski. Did you give yourself that nickname? No, my mum did when I was like three. That's even better. Originally, the nickname was Jared.Ski, and then she shortened it to Jared Ski, so my handle.

Tomorrow on the show, what would your nickname be if your mum had given it to you? Always on We don't need to talk about that do we? I don't know Is that going to work? Yeah totally

Like what did your mum call you that if it had stuck what would your nickname be? Right Did your mum call you anything? No No see I don't think this will work This is why we had these discussions

Other people's mums were more open with their emotions than Bev and Christine. Aren't a great litmus test of mothers that openly vocalise the love for their children. Yeah, okay, right. Okay, so back to this Instagram account,

145,000 followers. For Mark Bryan, he is a... Sorry. I am talking. You've already taken over so much of this break. It was ticking through the siblings and then it got to a story that actually had noise. Apologies. Okay.

So Mark Bryan, he's a 61-year-old dad. He has been married for a while. Yeah. But he likes to go to work in a skirt and heels. Now, when we saw these photos pre-show, would it be fair to say that all the female staff on the show were quite jealous of his legs? Oh. Great legs.

Great legs. Great legs. I've done this. I went to his Instagram and he's got a great like shoe wardrobe. But he's wearing full-on stilettos, which I wouldn't leave the house in because those are hard to walk in. Is he short? Is he trying to grow? No, he's 183 centimetres tall.

So if you were to put your hand over the lower half of what he's wearing in most of his photos, on the top half, you would say that he's a bald, like English looking bloke. Yeah. Who looks like he'd be quite tough. Quite a masculine. Quite masculine, yeah. So he says,

dresses don't allow me to mix the genders. I prefer a masculine look above the waist. Yep. And then a non-gendered look below the waist. He calls it that because he said that clothes should have no gender. And he's like, there's all these photos of him like waiting for the train, going to work and stuff.

Yeah, he's been doing it for four years now. That's so cool. He said his wife helps him shop and his daughter's just jealous that she can't fit his heels. Yeah, right. But I wonder what shoe size. It's tough to find shoes. Yeah, because what size do heels come in? Where's kind of the cut off?

I used to flat with a girl who had size 10 shoes and she would always struggle to find shoes. But he said that the most heckling he gets is from men and he'll respond with something like, well, do you ask women wearing a skirt and heels her sexual preferences? Because he gets a lot of jibes about his sexual preferences. I don't, if I was the kind of person to heckle someone like that, and I'm not, but if I was, I don't know

if I would. He looks like he'd beat you to death. He almost looks like he's doing it to have an excuse to kick the shit out of someone. He's got a certain amount of anger that he needs to release but he just doesn't want to do it randomly. He wants someone to earn it. He said, I'm a normal, happily married, straight guy that loves Porsches, beautiful women and likes

to incorporate a skirt and heels into his daily wardrobe. I can't wear a skirt because I can't sit with my legs. Yeah. You're a man spreader. You're a terrible man spreader. I said that to you on the tube one day, didn't I? I said, stop man spreading. Some man I said, apologies.

But then if you're wearing decent underwear, like who's to tell us we have to be laid back? What underwear would you wear with a skirt? Could you continue with your standard boxer, the boxer, the tight cotton briefie boxer situation? I don't want to. Oh, there is a, I cannot see your underline. Because he's done a backwards shot like this is me from behind. Great legs.

Might be wearing a G. I was going to say, is he hitting a G? Maybe. A G banger. He's on a VPL. Okay. I'm going to watch his Instagram to follow, because it's quite fascinating.

And yeah, he's killing it. It's Mark Brian 911. If you want to follow him. 145,000 other people do. Nice. We've got more than you, Jared. So what I'm thinking tomorrow. Anything for the gram.

Exactly. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Yesterday. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Yesterday in the evening, I was painting the laundry. This is one of those things that Sade said she was going to do and then she was like, oh, can you do that? Okay.

I've got to pop to Decuba. She didn't go to Decuba, but in my mind, every time she leaves the house, now she's off to bloody Decuba. Yeah. And I was like Oh okay And firstly I know she's not listening She's at the gym

She's been Pouring the paint From the tin Into the roller tray Yeah But then not cleaning the rim Of the Just kind of like

Popping the lid back on And now I've got I had to spend a long time With a knife Oh CB Cleaning out the tin lid so I could get a good seal on the paint tin. Anyway, I daren't bring that up.

Apart from with you guys in the nation. But again, she's not listening. So I was painting the ceiling with one of those ceiling paint things. With a roller? Yeah. Oh, fancy. On a stick. It's all over your face.

Oh yeah, I got it all over my arms and stuff. Oh yeah. I had a bit of best as I could did you have a shower best as I could I mean it's all over your watch as well yeah I know

that won't come off there easy anyway started getting dripped on and everything but I had my hands full and Sade said

Sade was cooking dinner and she said when you're finished can you feed the animals we've got two cats and two dogs. And I was like, I'm in the middle of something. And I said it in that tone,

almost like she'd forgotten I'd taken on her task. Yeah, right. I'm in the middle of something. And covered in paint. And she's like, well, when you're finished, I said, well, why wait? We've got two children. And I said, August, because she was,

I could see her through a door. And she's sitting on a beanbag on a Chromebook. Yep. And I said, August. And she goes, what? I could see her through a door, and she's sitting on a beanbag on a Chromebook. And I said, August. And she goes, what? I'll remind you at this stage, she's six. And I said, would you please feed the animals? At least the cats.

Your sister can feed the dogs. And she just went, I am in the middle of something. I was like, what are you doing? She's like, I'm watching this. And it's some Russian video of people doing like wacky half pranks on each other. Right. Narrated in English, but you can tell the original country wasn't. I was like, oh, okay, we'll pause that and go and feed the animals.

At the same time, you may remember I'm painting the ceiling, so I'm holding the roller the roller aloft yeah and i'm looking at her and she's looking at me she's like why can't you do it stop yelling i don't know why you're so wound up about this yeah i'm you can look at me see what i'm doing your mother's doing dinner yeah oh my god why because what i'm doing? Your mother's doing dinner. Yeah. Oh my God. Why? Because what I'm doing is unimportant? I was like, no, it's not.

At all. If we were to rank, what about Indy? Indy's going to feed the dogs. Yeah. I just haven't asked her yet. Does no one in this family care about what I'm doing?

I'm like, not really. Why are you being so dramatic? Feed the cats. Do you extremely care about what I'm doing? I'm like, come on. Not really. Why are you being so dramatic? Feed the cats. And she just looks at me like, I was like, shut the Chromebook and go and put it on my bed. You've just lost that privilege. Oh, okay.

And she slams it. And I was like, well, you can add another day to how long you've lost that for because you're roughhousing it now. Go and put it now. Yeah. Go and put it on the bed. And if you throw it, I will know. She didn't know. I wouldn't know.

I was holding a paintbrush to the ceiling. And she came back. She's yelling and stomping. I was like, what is wrong? What has got into you? No one in this family cares about me. And she's sick. Oh, my God. She is not 16 And she's sick. Oh, my God.

She is not 16. She's sick. Yeah, relax. Wow. You're in so much trouble. And Indy comes in and she's like, what did you want me to do? I was like, if you could feed the dogs, that'd be great. She's like, I could feed the cats.

I was like, no, no. There's a stoush brewing. There's a stoush brewing. And I don't know if you know this about dads, but they don't like to back down from a Stoush Yeah, no And so, yeah, I followed her around And then made her sit on the couch and watch the chase I was like, do you know the answer to that one?

She's like, I'm not talking to you I was like, do you know the answer to that one? Who do you think is going to win? Does the chaser going to win today, do you reckon? I said, I'm not talking to you No idea where she gets this dramatic, stubborn nature from.

It's apparently not me. As a child, I was a true delight. Yeah, obviously. This all happened later. But apparently, it's exactly what my wife was like. We just decided

to dig her heels in on something. But I was just like, oh, God. Has she done this for anything else? But it's always like weird little things. Right. Could you pass me that? Why don't you pass it to yourself? on something but I was just like oh god has she done this for anything else or but it's always like weird little things

right could you pass me that why don't you pass it to yourself if I pass it to myself it'll be called picking it up give it to me

give it here pass it to me and then you can tell they want to throw it and you're like and I can see why it's so annoying dealing when they're angry. If I remain calm, it frustrates them more,

which I get a sick pleasure out of. And thank you to all the parents that are messaging and saying this could word for word be my seven-year-old. Someone said this is a second child thing. Is it? Although I was the second child. Yeah. But I was the middle by that age.

Yeah. Again, a true delight. Yep, obviously. And someone said, a true delight. Yep. Obviously. And someone said, I'm pretty sure I had this conversation with my six-year-old son in the last week. So it's good to know.

It's a thing, yeah. It's good to know. We're all dealing with it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app

or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music. Live here. ZM.