ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 21st September 2020

Episode Date: September 20, 2020

Top 6  When did you have a Kitchen Whoopsie?  Producer Jared's Radio Tinder Update  Fletch is a Basic Bitch  FVM Helpline  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Morning Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe Coffee for great tasting barista made coffee on the go. Now we have just after today's podcast slash show that you're about to listen to, interviewed the lovely Carlo Barn from The Boys, seasons one and two. Not just from The Boys, I didn't want to mention it, but he's short on a street. I know! Do you think he was waiting for us to say... I think he probably expects it from New Zealand media right Yeah but it is quite funny when you're watching the boys And there's Anthony Starr, Outrageous Fortune And then Karl Uban, Shortland Street

You're just like hee You were on New Zealand quirky Quinky dinky TV once Who was he on He was Shortland Street's Jamie Forrest Now correct me if I'm wrong Shortland Street's Jamie Forrest. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, Shortland Street's first gay character. Really? He was a gay ambulance driver.

I don't think I remember him. Jamie Forrest, Shortland Street. It was a big, there was a kiss in the back of the ambulance. Okay. Jamie Forrest, fictional character. Yes, the character is remembered as the first openly gay character on the show. Wow. What year?

That must have been quite. 1993 through to 1994. So just under a full year on the street. Exciting. Well, you can hear our Carlo Barn interview if you're a fan of the boys. If you don't know the show, you should watch it. Oh, my God. I've literally told everyone I know, you know, everyone's like,

what's good on TV to watch or what's good to stream? I'm like, get Amazon Prime. I know it's a mish. Not that, I wouldn't recommend it to my parents. My dad might, my mother would have. Oh, my mother loves it, but I shoot him up, blood and guts. I reckon she'd love the boys. Do you reckon?

The language alone would, my mother's toes would curl. Have you heard Megan's mum? She's the right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's fine. Two very different ladies. Thanks, Adam. Good morning.

Welcome to the show. Fletch, Fawn and Megan. Good morning. One minute past six. Good morning. This Harbour Bridge issue for Auckland listeners. Friday, a truck overturned because of the high winds and smashed into a beam. And now the beam's bent.

And do you see it come away from the bolts? Did you see the close-up pictures? No. Because I was like, oh, that just looks like a little ding. What are you bloody, what's all this worry and hoo-ha about? Yeah. But apparently it's load bearing or something.

I wouldn't want to drive over it. I'd give it a risk. I'd just go real quick. These are the beams. Have you seen all the beams? Every time I drive over the Harbour Bridge I have flashbacks to that Final Destination movie. I don't want to... What happens on that?

He's driving over the bridge and it starts cracking and then everyone falls in and... I mean, sorry if you're driving over the Marlborough Bridge. I was just thinking more of like the Dukes of Hazzard where they're coming up in their car and they go real fast and it's like, the bridge is out! So they go faster and then they go rawr!

Jump the gap. Right. You should think positive, man. It'll change your... I mean, physics. Just change your day. Physics. Yeah. I mean, man. It'll change your... I mean, physics. Just change your day. Physics. Yeah. I mean, there's thinking positive and then there's realistic physics.

So that means that there's just a side lane. So it only means two lanes in on the Harbour Bridge coming into the city this morning. Four. Executive... Isn't it four? And then at the end... What?

Two on each? Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's saying two lanes in. Two lanes coming into the city. So executive intern Anya, you came in this morning. What time? You were at work just after five.

Yeah. 5 a.m. Producer Jared actually also hit the bridge. So he was about 10 minutes before me and was like, all good, easy peasy. Well, don't hit the bridge. You got hit by the truck. Oh, lol. And then, yeah, about 10 minutes later, it was already pretty slow for me

so I reckon another 10 minutes and she would have been at a standstill yeah yeah good luck with that and I just call it

it'll be a bloody lovely sunrise to be stuck on that bridge and witnessing over the city though you're looking the wrong way mate you're looking towards why are you so positive this morning I've just I don't know

I know what it is I know what it is. I know what it is. I saw Brian Tamaki at Yum Chow yesterday. Has the Lord rubbed up on you or something? The Lord. The Lord. For a guy who's so against homosexuals, he sure dresses like one from 2005.

I apologise to the homosexual community. Don't. No, that's funny. We all dressed a little whack in 2005. Yeah, right. Wow. What an absolute burn. What a Brian.

Where was the photo to the group chat? I would have loved to have seen that. We were all just getting over the fact that Bowdoin Barrett was at Yum Cha. It was a big day at Yum Cha. Don't go to Oolala Yum Cha. No, we go to Block Standard bloody Grand Harbour Yum Cha. Same place every time. Everybody goes here.

It's a good Yum Cha. But I was like, didn't you just win or lose a ran for early shit? Which one are you? He won. He won it because he was playing for the NAC. Celebratory Yum Cha. We just got back to Auckland. Who ate more yum cha?

And what did they get? Brian Tamaki or Bowdoin Barrett? No, I didn't see. I didn't see. Tamaki got sat around the corner. Okay. He was walking around looking for the table that he wanted. Yeah.

I was like, you don't come in here, mate. You get sat where you get sat. And Bowdoin Barrett, I only saw as he was leaving. Right. Okay. But he'd probably worked up quite a hunger the night before. Who was he yum-charring with? Hannah.

Okay. And someone else. And someone, right, okay. So this is a small party of yum-char. Party of three. Party of three. As far as I can see, party of three. Right, okay.

Party of three. Yeah, maybe that's my positivity. I ate a lot of yum-chars. All right, the top six is coming up. And looking at the Harbour Bridge issue. Yeah, the top six ways to get to work if you usually cross the Harbour Bridge. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. One for the parents and Megan, parent to be. Research and experiments have shown that small kids dressed up in costume as characters are more likely to help with house chores. What? Do they have to be dressed as characters to help or kids who dress up as characters are more likely to help?

Or they'll only help when they're dressed up as Elsa? If they're dressed up and they pretend that they are the character. Yeah, come on, Elsa. We've got to clean up Arendelle. Exactly. Or Bob the Builder. Because they know that Elsa would help. Yeah, or on Elsa, we've got to clean up Arendelle. Exactly. Or Bob the Builder. Because they know that Elsa would help. Or Bob the Builder, we've got to fix this

mess. Yes. Get out your little plastic hammer and put on your little hard hat and let's clean up the toys. Hey, let's go put your Bob the Builder outfit on and then you get them to do everything. And then you're like, excuse me Bob the Builder have you said Stevie? No, I am Stevie.'re like, excuse me, Bob the Builder, have you said Stevie?

No, I am Stevie. No, you're not your Bob the Builder. Kids love that one. Because my nephew had a Black Panther costume. I was like, excuse me, T'Challa, you wouldn't happen to know where George has gone, would you? He's like, I am George. I'm like, girl, you can't trick me, Black Panther.

They bloody love it. So do you think that's a thing? Did your kids ever do that? No, I just, no. I can't think of ever trying. Man, wow. Yeah, we do. You just get blatantly ignored until you're screaming at them.

But they might be too old now. I said clean up, Elsa. I will burn this kingdom to the ground. Because this was looking more at 3 to 6 year olds Yeah Because now they're probably at that age where they know They just don't want to do cleaning up No the best thing to get a kid to do anything

Is mystery You just put a box down Nothing in it You can have a look in that box if you clean up It's a lolly But that would work even for adults It's like that Money in the bag situation

You want 200 bucks And you want to see What's in this box You'd be like What's in the box You'll never know Unless you tidy up the room It can't be two shit though

Because if you look in the box And it's rubbish You're never going to do it again Nah Because then next time You can kind of read the situation If they're growing wise to the box You're like fine You open up and you put like chocolate,

you're like, none for you then. And they're like. They're back in. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Totally, you got three more boxes in them. Get them to do stuff. But mystery.

Wow. But you just, mystery is anything. Like, do you remember we got sent those little lockable boxes here? Yeah. And there was like four of them. And I took them home. Like a petty cash tin. Yeah, a petty cash tin that you have at the office.

And so the idea was when they filled out their good behaviour chart, they got to see what was in the... Right. They got a key and they tried to unlock the different boxes with the key, which is exciting in itself. Yeah. And then they opened it up and there'd be something in there. It wasn't even about what was in there.

It was about the mystery of what could... Is there a Schrodinger's cat? Are you just running radio competitions with your kids? Pretty much. You could win a key and one of them opens a box. And inside is a prize. Charlie's a room and you get to have a guess at the secret sound. I've got a longer version I can play you.

I'm not a longer version I can play you. I'm not a runner, so this doesn't affect me. Neither. I hurt myself and I did a little running and that's it. Yeah, I tried after last lockdown, the first one, and then I hurt my, what's that, calf. And I was like, I'm retiring from running forever now. And that was it. Yeah. Like an Olympic runner.

I just hung up my shoes. I think some people are really built for it and then others are just not. But you would say, looking at Fletch and I, you would say he's the one that's built for running because of the muscular calves. But old chicken legs are the best. I can run and not get injured. I was talking to my physio about it and he said the same.

Some people can just run and run and run. And other people, they just, as soon as they start, not get injured. Well, no, I was talking to my physio about it, and he said the same. Some people can just run and run and run. And other people, they just, as soon as they start, they're injured. And that's me. That's how I hurt my hip when I finally discovered I had dysplasia. It was that. Because I was running. And then you see old people running marathons,

and you're like, how do you do it? How are your knees? Not just like, nope. Like 70-year-olds. But then they're the ones that get to like 70, 80 and they hunch over and they're just like. Or they lift at 200. Or they lift at, yeah, exactly.

Well, there's a survey that has been, well, it's found that 84% of women have experienced some kind of harassment while running. 84%. Like cat calls or something like that. Yeah, and I never really thought about this, but you know how people go for a run and then they post their route,

their route, wherever they're going. And they're like, this is how long I did it in and blah, blah, blah. Oh, yeah. That's really unsafe to do because especially if you run the same way each time. Oh, shit. Because I know I never thought about that.

Oh, I never thought about that either. You're basically giving them the exact place you run. This is where I go and how often you do it. Yeah, right. Yeah. So 84% of people have, of women, have reported some kind of harassment. Isn't that confronting? That's really sad.

Yeah. Yeah. Lots of instances where it's just people catcalling, like you said, but then other ones where they've found people following them. Yeah. The catcalling one's interesting because people might be like, ha, ha, ha, titties. Like, ha, ha, ha.

Like, oh, come on. But then you think what it would be like to be by yourself, not have any way just anything. I think that's what people don't put themselves into that situation. If you wouldn't, what was the just the general thing

is if you wouldn't say it to Dwayne The Rock Johnson's face don't yell it at people. Yeah, right. Okay. If you wouldn't walk it up And walk up to The rock And be like

Nice titties Don't Yeah Because he's smashing the face Yeah That's the general idea here But one woman said People actually still cat calling

Yeah I didn't even think Builders were doing that anymore No they They Certainly don't You get fired Like straight up

You'll get fired for it But a woman says She was running the same spot every day and a man pulled over in his car to tell her that he had purposely come to the area after spotting her the day before. Okay, creep. What? I saw you the day before.

I thought I'd try my luck tomorrow. This is going to work. Yeah. G'day. G'day, sweetheart. I'm following you. Oh, my God. The love of my life

He was lurking in the bushes The whole time 6.21 Top six is coming up The toxic ways to get to work If you live on the North Shore But work in the city Because the Harbour Bridge

Is broken If you haven't heard That crucial piece of infrastructure You use all the time To get to work It's gonna go broken Down the two lanes Yeah It's got the top six ways to get to work flesh fauna megan the podcast zm study um this is a out of britain but it's a study uh about working conditions

specifically this year with remote working working from home maybe not going into the office yeah because um i don't know if you guys have heard the news. Pandemic. News to me, news to me. Really? It's not good. Do you know, just side note on the pandemic, having a couple of drinks yesterday with some friends

and overlooked a COVID hotel. And you could see them out on the back of the hotel having some ciggy breaks. And they had their masks pulled down these three people. Didn't really look like they knew each other. They bonded over the love of cigarettes. They were within a metre of each other. Like, no social distance.

And then one of them coughed and then the other ones moved back and I was like, well, this system's working well. If there was one place you'd really want to social distance, I feel like it would be in that hotel. The isolation hotels. Yeah. Yeah.

Because there's a real chance of you coming into contact with them. Especially when one of them was vaping and then he exhaled and you could, like, see the big cloud. It's like, that's a good visualisation of your breath. So, you know, step away from them. Yeah, yeah, with increased vape. With increased vapour there, yeah, really shows you how far it can go.

The moist breath zone, I believe. Well, we'll wait for the announcement to move at a level 2.5. One day when there's like two new cases in isolation, you can be like, bet it was them. Bet it was them. I know. You can put a bet on it. Well, this looked into people's working habits.

And apparently of the survey, people were experiencing what is called career burnout by the age of 32. Oh, okay. That's where you just feel like, you know, regardless of what you do for a job, you'll have one of those days where you're just like, is this war worth it?

What's going on here? What's the meaning of life? Yeah. Why am I doing this? Oh, yeah, I need to pay the rent. Yeah, yeah. But maybe I should just chuck in the rent, man, and go and live on a fishing boat and do tours.

I mean, that would not be me at all because I'd be violent. I hate the smell of fish as well. I'd be, I'd last a day. Well, that's Fletch and Vaughan Fishing Ventures out the window. So, but has this been exacerbated because of COVID? Correct. Right. Right. Definitely.

Working from home. And I've talked to friends who worked from home and they said that it's the same thing. It's hard to draw a line on when you're working and when you're at home. And you just find yourself doing work outside of your usual work hours because you're at home and you've kind of blurred the line. And also you do that thing where you go and look in the fridge and then shut it again and nothing's magically appeared. That's what I'd do. You're like lunch and then second lunch and then afternoon tea. So the average remote worker over the past five months

had put in an extra 60 hours of work. Wow. And that's just the average person, meaning that they'd worked at a full seven additional days. See, I'd go the absolute opposite. I'd do the bare minimum. I mean, I'd do the bare minimum for any job, but I wouldn't be putting in extra hours.

No, but you think there's no shut-off time for emails and calls and the line's blurred now. So people were getting calls later and emails being like, this is urgent. Yeah, that's exactly what the survey said. Totally, and everybody else you'll be getting pressure from higher up at all different times and because you're

always connected, now that you've got a home office or a home working situation that you feel obligated to reply regardless of what time. Do you reckon last time in level 2-ish around here there was more people working from home? I really feel like everyone's in at work now

because the novelty's worn off. I reckon. Because they're saying like, will cities change? Will like people get rid of offices downtown? I don't know if they will now because we need the separation. I'd want to go to an office building. I think I'd want to go into a workplace. 27% of people surveyed said they were missing the social

connections of traditional offices. Yeah, right. I didn't even think about the social side of it. So, and there's no vending machine at home either. I mean, that's probably for the best. That's called the cupboard. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Gosh, it's light for this time of day, isn't it? We've got a whole week of this. It's daylight savings. This weekend. This weekend, yeah, daylight savings. 19 to 7. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six.

Bam, bam, bam. Yeah, she's no good. Just looking at some traffic. She's no good. Just looking at some traffic. She's no good. Busy, busy Harbour Bridge. Because a truck got blown over in the wind and it banged into the Harbour Bridge and we're all like,

it's the Harbour Bridge, baby. It'll bounce. No. There's a bent beam. There's some rivets that need, I've got a pop rivet gun. I could get out there and I did some pop riveting at the weekend.

So I was reading they need to build a whole new one. They need to build a whole new structural beam. Do we still have the plans? I don't know. I don't know. Well, I don't imagine you can just like knock it back to home. Apparently it's a load of bearing. Bash it around, put some bog in it.

Yeah. You guys been to a panel beater? This is how they do it. They bash it around, put some bog in it, cut the rust out. You a panel beater? This is how they do it. They bash it around, put some bog in it, cut the rust out. You paint it like new, the new owners won't even know it had a ding. When it says load bearing, what is the load? Oh, pfft. Hardly any cars, Megan.

Yeah. That thing's never got any traffic on it. So, thank God for the, by the way, the nippon clip-ons. I heard a couple of people call them that. The outer lines of the bridge. Because it only ever used to be the inside. The clip-ons. They were from Japan, weren't they? They were designed and built in Japan, yeah.

That's why they call them the nippon clip-ons. They have their own structure. They have their own support. They go down where they're clipped on. So they're not... But are we still saying nippon clip-ons? It always felt like... Remember when people used to say Jap crap about

stuff built in Japan? Feels a bit racist. Yeah, it does feel a little... Just because it wouldn't have been like... Just knowing New Zealand in the 70s. It wouldn't have been complimentary, endearing, thank you Japan for doing this. Yeah.

Doubtful. Very doubtful. So they are still open, the outside lanes of the bridge. The only way in and out on that harbour bridge. The clip-on. So I've got the top six ways to get to work in the city if you usually do travel across the harbour bridge. Also, God forbid public transport. That won't get a mention.

Number six. Number six on the list of the top six ways to get to work in the city. How about taking Upper Harbour Highway? The best thing about Upper Harbour Highway is you don't have to say Upper Harbour, you say Upper Harbour. No, you say the Harbour Harbour.

Upper Harbour. Upper Harbour. Harbour Harbour. I'm saying Upper Harbour. That's all I No, you say the Habahaba. Abahaba. Abahaba. Habahaba. I'm saying Abahaba. That's all I'm saying except the first one doesn't have the H. It's like you're saying Habababa, except you're saying Abababa. Habababa. Yeah.

Abahaba Highway. But then Abahaba gets real busy too. Oh yeah, but you get to go through the picturesque West Auckland. Lovely. Very lovely. Number five on the list of the top six ways to get to work in the city if you usually go across the Harbour Bridge. Ferries.

No, not the boat ones because no public transport. Don't be silly. The woodland wing variety. Find one of those. Right. Grab it by the legs and say, I'll only let go when you fly me to the city. They can do it.

Trust me, I've seen it. Number four on the list of the top six ways to get to work in the city if you usually go over the Harbour Bridge. The Flying Fox that I just chucked in. Okay. It goes from North Head, because that's like the highest point for you up there, and then over to Mission Bay

so you can get an ice cream on the way to work. You're welcome. And then you have to get permission paid to the city. Walk, what are you? No, train, car. I'd love a

long flying fox. Love a long flying fox. I was going to say, I'd love a breakfast ice cream. That too. Is there ever, on a serious note,

has there ever actually floated the idea of some sort of passenger gondola service over the harbour? Ooh, maybe. Because there's one of those in Barcelona. And those in the old, it's like an old cable car thing.

Yeah. Goes over the harbour. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that would be cool. A cable car. And there could be like a depot somewhere. Yeah. Just an idea.

Don't worry about it. Just future proofing the city. Number three on the list of the top six ways to get to work in Auckland City if you usually come across the Harbour Bridge. Bust out your leisure white person water sports equipment that you've used once. Kiteboard, SUP, stand-up paddleboard. It'd be a beautiful day for a SUP. I bet you wish you hadn't sold your stand-up paddleboard,

Executive Intern Anya. That would have come in so handy. Yeah, but I'm just rolling in cash now. Because you sold your paddleboard. Yeah. God, people love paddleboards, I'm telling you. Wait, you're telling me you've still got that $300 saved? No.

Yeah. And SUPing across the harbour and you're like, ah, ferry, ugh. But, God, good for the core. Yeah. They have to across the harbour and you're like, ah, fairy. But good for the core. Yeah. They have to give way to you, I believe. Do they? Is that a thing?

I don't know. Number, oh. Well, they don't want a death on their hands, do they? So yes, they do. Yeah, exactly. Number two on the list of the top six ways to get to work in the city if you usually come across the harbour bridge, there's a tunnel. Now, they don't talk about this tunnel very often. Okay.

But you'll find it in North Head you know where all those tunnels are behind one of those locked doors. The ones they built for World War II.

Yep. So under there there's a tunnel and you pop up in Albert Park. Okay. Which has also got tunnels underneath it.

Yeah right. Don't tell me two mysterious tunnels aren't linked. They go under the under the water. Where your gumboots are gets a little bit muddy under there. And number one on the list of the top six ways to get to work in the city,

if you usually come across the Harbour Bridge, helicopter. Now, you might think I'm joking, but I'm not, because listen to this. Helitrans have put on their Instagram, want to avoid that Harbour Bridge traffic? We can run a Hallie shuttle from Albany. Albany. Albany, whatever. I mean, if you live there, that's your problem.

Albany, Albany to Parnell. That's Mechanics Bay where the helicopter lands. From $190 per person and off for complimentary parking at our Hallie port. $190. Does that get you home at our heliport. $190. Does that get you home as well? Or is that one way? I don't know. If you're looking into this, you're probably...

$190. $190. That's like the 1% of the 1%. Who's going to be like, yeah, they're right, actually. I won't work from home to the helicopter. Pretty bougie thing to do a couple of times, though. Yeah. I won't work from home to the Al Helicopter. Al Helicopter. Pretty bougie thing to do a couple of times though. Yeah. If you were some

highfalutin Auckland board exec lawyer or board exec you can contact them. Hashtag city in five minutes hashtag time is precious. Yeah.

I wonder if anyone's going to do that. Amazing. I'll message them and ask them how many people took them up on that. Okay. On that fine opportunity.

I really want to find out. That is today's top six. ZM wants to bring your wild inventions to life. ZM. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. It seems that most people would rather spend time with a friend

than they would their spouse or partner. It yields more happiness compared to hanging out with your partner. Wow. Now. Like the majority of people. Yeah. So it is because it's more to do with what you do with each person. So when you're spending time with your friends, you're more likely to be doing fun activities

than when you're spending time with your family or spouse. It's because most of it is, or a lot of it involves unpleasant activities like chores. Yeah, there's so much life admin involved in. Yeah. So apparently 20% of the time you spend with a spouse is spent socialising and the rest is either commuting kids or cleaning

the house, doing unpleasant activities. Deciding what to have for dinner. Yeah. So you shouldn't be offended if they are really excited about going to hang out with your friends rather than you. Because yeah, there's no, well, there shouldn't be, should there? There shouldn't be admin involved in hanging out with your friends. No.

Or no tours. But then everyone's got a friend that's admin heavy, but it's like emotional administration. No draining. You avoid them. God, even the thought of it's making me yawn. God.

Yeah, they are a pain in the ass. But then on the other... If you're constantly having people reschedule stuff last minute- You're one of those people. You may need to identify the fact that you might be hard work or emotionally draining. And that's not to say they don't always have- Am I hard work?

Nah. That was way too long. Yeah, you waited too long to answer. It was way too long. It was on purpose. Yeah, not to say long to answer. It was way too long. It was on purpose. Yeah, not to say that they're not your friend and they don't have time for it, but not every time. Yeah, not right now.

Not every time. I can't deal with it today. Yeah, especially hungover. They're the worst kind of times to deal with those people. Oh, yeah. Well, that's your fault for lack of planning and not being around them when you're hungover. Yeah.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We'd love to know when you had a kitchen whoopsie and we crossed to producer Mountie now to find out how on earth she had her one. This is embarrassing. I don't know how you got to this point.

Well, basically on Saturday morning, I decided to cook myself some breakfast. What was on the menu? So I was just going to make a breakfast salad because I had some leftover. What is wrong with menu? So I was just going to make a breakfast salad because I had some leftover. What is wrong with you? What is a breakfast salad?

I would have lied. I would have said something else. A breakfast salad? But is a salad like I would breakfast salad but it would have eggs and bacon and tomato. Yeah, I mean that's essentially what it is. Okay. Okay, I'm on board then. Okay, yeah.

Does it have mescaline in it? No, no, it's spinach-based. Some spinach. Okay, and you cook the spinach? I promise it's delicious. So you start with a whole bag of spinach and then you cook it and it's approximately two leaves. I actually don't cook the spinach because...

That's why I said a salad. It's like not cooked. Right, okay. Anyway. That's an interesting approach to breakfast. To start the breakfast salad, you have to boil some eggs. So I just chucked some water in a pan and put the eggs in and turned on the element and then went back to the couch to wait for the eggs to boil.

And then a little while later, I hear like a tsss. And I was like, great, the eggs are ready. Like the water boiling has begun. No, because I can usually hear it boiling away. And then that's when I know to turn it off. Because it's really safe to cook, to leave something on the stove unwatched. I've done this a million times. So I hear the tsss and I'm like, great, the water's just's just like boiled over but I'll go take them off

the hob and I get into the kitchen and it's just white smoke everywhere I'm like uh oh something's gone wrong and it goes the element and I have left a systema plastic container on the stove

what I had done was turned on the wrong element I find those little diagrams stemmer plastic container on the stove. What I had done was turned on the wrong element. I find those little diagrams very hard to navigate too. I know, me too. Who knew that dot in the upper right hand corner is the element on the upper right hand corner.

My brain doesn't compute those. No. Really? So you turned on the wrong element. So I turned on the wrong element, So I turned on the wrong element, which I have done quite a few times as well. But this time there was a plastic container on there that had fully melted into a puddle. Holy shit.

Molten plastic. It hadn't caught flame. Nothing had... No, no flames. Just smoke and molten plastic. That's so lucky. Is it? Well, it's very close.

You could have caught on fire. What kind of element do you have? The old coils? No, they weren't coils. It's like an electric flat stove top. Like a hob. Because I used to have a flatmate. They'd come home from the supermarket

and put all their groceries on the bench and the stove. That used to give me anxiety. Yeah, I don't leave anything on the stove. Oh. That used to give me like anxiety. Yeah I don't leave anything on the stove. Just because I'm so used to stuffing up the whole diagram. Yeah the dishes had piled up. What did it smell like? I don't remember the

smell but my I was just like that would have like just stuck out your whole house. It did. My eyes were burning. Oh lord. Did the blue plastic handles melt into the white plastic? Yeah. The clear plastic? Did that look cool?

I wasn't focused on that. What we're saying is we really would have appreciated a picture. Yeah. Do you have a picture? No. How did clean up go? Did you just let it go completely cold and then just try to chip it off as one big hunk of plastic?

Yeah, pretty much. That was actually quite satisfying. I was going to say because you could turn it over and that could be a platter. Just thinking about not wasting anything. And like broke off into little pieces. Oh, okay. But still came off clean. That's got to be satisfying if there's one positive out of this.

Wow. Exactly. God, how did your egg salad go? It was delicious. Yeah, right. Yesterday in our house we woke up, the minute I opened the bedroom door from the other end of the house, I was like, what is that smell?

And we hunted high and low. And it turns out my darling wife had got out some dog food to defrost for the dog but then completely just forgot about it and it had been in the microwave for about four days. Oh, yes. It was nasty. We were like, can you guys smell that? We had the kids, everybody was sniffing around.

And then we thought it was a dead rat under the house, but it wasn't. It was rotting meat in the microwave. So we want to know when you've had a kitchen whoopsie, and it doesn't necessarily have to be like burning the food, although those stories are great. But it could have been like the wrong element on or the wrong ingredients.

Or the wrong temperature or the wrong timer. Maybe you've set like the old classic, trying to hate something for 20 seconds, wildly miscalculated. And then you've just ruined all of dinner. Yeah. Because you burned the burger buns. And then you just ruin all of dinner. Yeah, well. Because you burn the burger buns. You can't have burgers without the burger buns.

Well, you can have those. Bunless burgers. They're rubbish. Bunless burgers. No time for them. Just have the bun. Yeah. You burnt it.

Well, from the social media dismounting at the weekend making a breakfast salad, she has sent through a photo and there is bacon in it. I would call that it. It looks delicious. On our apology, it does look delicious, Mountie. Yeah, it's like a breakfast bowl.

That looks so good. Yeah. But you don't cook the salad. You don't cook the salad. I've got an issue with that. If you're going to have a breakfast salad, the spinach has to be cooked. It was during the cooking of the eggs,

the boiled eggs for the breakfast salad, that the Sistema container was melted. That was holding the eggs on the stove. The wrong element turned on. Melted completely. Uh-oh.

You should take solace in the fact you're certainly not the only one who's even melted plastic in the kitchen. Yep. Somebody said they don't know how it happened. This is a great start to a story.

I'm sure I put water in the jug, but I flicked the jug on and it had no water in it. But then jugs automatically flicked themselves off, which is the second part of this mystery. It didn't switch itself off and they came back into the kitchen. It was full of smoke and the plastic jug had killed itself. Oh, because it's plastic. Combusted.

Yeah. I am. Maybe you flicked it on and the heat somehow, the switch didn't flick. I don't know how it happened. But anyway, they just said there's just this puddle

that used to be their plastic jug melted all over the bench. Well, that's basically a hate element in the book. That's why they have the minimum level, water level, which I like to live a little bit dangerously. I'm not going to lie. I don't think the devil on that one too. Same.

That's how I know I live an exciting life. Like you only put one cup worth in and boil it. Sometimes I'll boil the jug below the minimum level. That's how I live. No, I live in a... Because you know that's also saving power, not boiling a whole jug worth of time.

When you burn your apartment block down and you burn your new house down, I'll be sitting at home with a full jug saying, well, it was only a couple of bucks.

Yeah, but your power bill's higher. But that's what I'm saying, it was only a couple of bucks. But I've still got a house. Oh, you're true. Yeah. Or what about when you go to use the kettle

and the last person's used it all and hasn't bothered to put more water in it? No, but see, I'd rather fill it up than there's heaps of manky water that could have been in there for like four or five days. Who's not boiling the jug for that long? I don't always boil the jug all the time.

You could go five days without boiling the jug. Single life. I don't always use a jug. Because I've got the coffee machine maker thingy. Oh, yeah. Which I'll use most days, yeah. Well, we want to know about your whoopsies in the kitchen. Amanda, what happened?

I was probably about 11 or something, and I decided to make my mum breakfast. Okay. And we had one of those, like, poached egg things that you put the water in and then you put the poached eggs on top and I kind of forgot about it and I didn't put the water in and I cooked it so long that the eggs were hard-boiled and then when I put them on the stainless steel bench,

it popped it. Jesus. And now we don't have any insurance on our stainless steel bench in the kitchen. That's not a great advertisement for a stainless steel bench. No. If an overcooked egg can damage it. Yeah.

All right. Thanks for your call, Amanda. Sam, when did you have a kitchen whoopsie? Yeah, g'day, guys. So I work for a construction company based in the South Island, but got sent up to Auckland for a job we were doing up there. So the house was all new to us, the house was supplied, and then we had a cleaner that came in once a week, which was pretty lucky. Knew they came in on Wednesdays. Got home Wednesday night, thought, as soon

as I walked in the door thought geez it smells pretty strong in here they've used some pretty good cleaning products yeah didn't clean too much of it just thought my god that's strong

whatever they've used went upstairs and thought god it's even stronger up here and sort of felt a little bit light headed and didn't really know what was going on

and then walked back downstairs knew something wasn't right, started opening a few doors and windows, trying to air the place out, and walked into the kitchen and heard a hissing noise, and the cleaners had actually knocked the hob on, the gas hob on, and it was just pumping gas in. Awesome. So it was unbelievably lucky that no one had flicked a light switch

or no one was smoking or anything like that. Couldn't believe it. I was under the impression that those hobs actually shut off if they're not ignited, but it was quite an old one. So it had obviously just been pumping gas for a few hours. Oh, my God, that's crazy. As you say, like a light switch, even like the spark and so the light switch could have been enough. Would have been like a movie explosion when a house blows up on a movie.

Sam, thanks for your call. Andrea, what was your kitchen whoopsie? Yeah, so I had a baby and I couldn't find the steriliser thing to sterilise the bottles. Okay. So I put them in a pot of water. Vodka. Oh, okay. And off I went.

Off I went. You know, I got the baby, put the baby in the car. The bottles were on, completely forgot about them, went to town, went and done grocery shopping. Oh, my gosh. I came home and it was winter. And so I came in and I was like, oh, it seems a bit like there's a bit of smoke in here. I was like, oh, I'm sure I only left the oil heater on,

that kind of, you know, done anything. So I went into the lounge. I was like, oh, no, yeah, it's real smoky in here. Went into the kitchen and the whole pot was on fire. So I just pretty much grabbed the pot and threw it outside and just there was smoke all throughout the house. And in the end, we actually had to, like, the insurance company paid for us to live in a hotel for two weeks because the cleaners had to come and clean the house. Wow.

Because of all, like, the smoke. Wow. Yeah. Just think, if you'd stayed at the mall, like, another half an hour. I know. That's so crazy. Wow. And it was my parents' house,

so I had to ring my mum at work and be like, um, so I nearly burnt the house down. Wow. Yeah, she lost it. She was like, yeah, it was not good. Wow. Andrea, thanks for your call. Ask some text messages.

I hope if I ever throw something that's on fire, I have the wherewithal to be like, hey, doll, couldn't, as I throw the thing on fire. You did, remember, you did throw that log that was on fire at the hut that we that's on fire, I have the wherewithal to be like, hey, dork, as I throw the thing on fire. Remember, you did throw that log that was on fire at the hut that we nearly caught on fire. But I didn't say, hey, dork, as I threw it. I know you didn't. You panicked.

You were panicking. It's just a dream. It's important to have dreams, Megan. Can't look at me like that. No, is that some geeky thing? It's like Dragon Ball Z or something. Hey, dork, it's Street Fighter 2. Oh, okay.

Hey, dork, and it's the... Come on. I don't know, it's Street Fighter 2. Oh, okay. Hey, Dawkin, and it's the... Come on. I don't know, man. You disappoint me on the daily. Some other text messages in. I burnt my entire palm of my hand.

I was 10 and I was trying to caramelise sugar to put it on popcorn. Yum. It was my birthday. Oh, and you're... Someone should have been

just buying you caramelized popcorn. That's tough. My mother-in-law left the gas element on in the morning and she went to work. By the time I woke up, I came in and I was like, whoa. And the family dog was passed out on the floor. Can you give mouth to mouth to a dog? Yeah. Mouth to snout.

Don't you hold the mouth closed and go through the nose? Oh, I don't know. I think. I mean, they look like they're in balls, but. Because the mouth's wide around. You'd have to go right on the end. You'd be better to block it all and go snout. Right, okay.

I mean, if you're a vet, if you can confirm that, that's just a theory of mine. I've never had to do it. Okay. Had frozen bananas ready to make banana cakes. Thought I'd speed up the process by microwaving them to defrost them.

Left them to it in the microwave. Accidentally put 50 minutes instead of 50 seconds. I went to open the microwave doors and the bananas were sparking. Whoa.

And the microwave was full of smoke. Huh. I'd love to see a banana sparking I'm sure it's on YouTube Well I'm gonna Well I know what I'm doing now Flash Warner Megan The Podcast

ZM Gerard The Bado Producer Gerard Last week we had him on for Radio Tinder Five matches Five successful matches then he wanted help

like what are what are my opening lines we're like jeez we have to hold your hand the whole way we have to do everything then I taught him how to kiss

and it was it was passionate it's like cruel intentions in my mind yeah and I am Buffy yeah

the beard was an experience once you go beard don't encourage him Gerard Yeah, and I am Buffy. Yeah. The beard was an experience. Once you go beard, don't encourage him, Jared. Don't encourage him. Smooth faces will be feared. So what happened over the weekend? We've got an update.

Update. Yeah, I sent off a few messages. No. Did you copy and paste the same thing to everyone? No, definitely not. I didn you say that you messaged everyone? I didn't. I didn't. I messaged a select handful.

Okay. A select few. Yeah. You've got to be like one of those hotel booking sites. There's only one left. Like, create some exclusivity. Okay. Yeah.

I'll bear that in mind for next time. Good. Yeah. There's only one date left. That's what you say to them. Yeah. Okay. Offer expires in 12 hours, 59 minutes, that kind of thing.

Yeah, and Sandra's currently looking. Sandra in Wellington is currently looking. Keep them on their toes. Yeah. So you messaged Sandra? I messaged Sandra. She's looking. Yeah, I had a few good yarns

with some people. And I've got a little date coming up. You've got one date? I've got one out of five. Oh, sorry. Wait, so all five have been, you've made contact with all five? I've made contact with three.

Oh god, the other two are like, ouch. But they lived further away, right. Oh, God, the other two are like... Ouch! But they lived further away, right? Yeah, okay, good. Save the best for last. That's what you can say when you finally make contact with them. Save the best for last. I feel like I'm walking a tightrope here.

What kind of date are we talking about here? Do you need help or are you all good now? Help would be appreciated, but I think it'll just be a fairly standard coffee or a couple of bevies. Okay. Did you have the same opening line for all of them or did you personalise?

No, they were catered. They were catered. I went back through and listened to Radio Tinder again. Bespoke intros. Yep, bespoke intros. Good, yeah. It's been a research there. So where do you think you're going to go on this date?

Yeah, haven't got that far yet. It only really got planned yesterday. So it was like a, hey, you keen? She was like, yeah. And I was like, cool, we'll plan it at some point. This sounds like it'll be a great date. Yeah, I'm all about the forward planning. Okay, right.

And how flirty has the banter got already? It's pretty flirty. Have you exchanged any pictures? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, don't listen to her. This is how Fletch runs it. I'm just asking what's happened. I've added someone on Instagram.

Okay, so you're right. Okay, good. Yep. And the conversation shifted from text to Instagram chat. So, you know, things. As this person, would you say they're your front runner? Yep. I'd say know. As this person, would you say they're your front runner? Yep.

I'd say so. Yep. Okay. Don't say that because the other two might be the front runner in the next relay race. Yeah. Like a relay race. Dangle that Sandra carrot. Keep them keen.

Yeah. Sandra's booked a room. Yeah. Sandra has booked a room. Sandra is inbound And now it prefers to be called by the more casual Sandy ZM's Fletch Warner Megan

The Podcast Fletch is a basic bitch Fletch You don't know what we're He literally just took off a Navy blue sweatshirt I love navy blue Although

By the way yesterday Megan I wore a yellow t-shirt And I got a compliment about it And I was like I know Yellow is also a great colour That was bold From yellow to From blue to yellow Yellow is also a great colour. That was bold. From yellow to, from blue to yellow.

Yeah. However, it's not that. There we go. That is the issue today. You enjoyed a BYO with friends. Yes. What was that, Friday night or Saturday night? Friday night. Now, traditionally a BYO, the thing that you are BYOing is wine.

Yes, it is. We noticed on your little put your phone on the lazy Susan and spin around gram content. Yeah. It wasn't wine that you were drinking. Yeah, they were RTDs. What RTDs? Let's not mention the place

But I love this place Because they are so loose With their BYO policy Yeah And they'll just let you With a $2.50 corkage Bring in Some RTDs

Yeah, is that legal? Um Dunno I mean, what's the difference? You can bring in a bottle of wine Yeah So So what's the difference? So why am a bottle of wine. Yeah. So.

So what's the difference? So why am I basically. I think the local laws would probably disagree. What? Really? What RTD did you take? It was a delicious mojito one. Why? A delicious mojito RTD.

Yeah. I thought it was a sugar-free, carb-free, preservative-free, all-natural, plant-collective. It was, yeah. Vodka. It was, yeah. It was, yeah. Well, that's the problem.

You don't take white-bottled RTDs to a... Yes, you do. That is a basic bitch move, right? I didn't want the carbs. That is a straight 10 on the basic bitch chart. Well, Celia next to me had a box of pals. She had a box of pals. They were sharing them.

But yeah. I didn't see. Loose BYO, mate. It just really caught my eye that you took a... You went to a BYO, you ate, what did you order?

Yeah, what kind of BYO was it? It was Chinese, right? Chinese, yeah. What did you eat? What do you think I got? Cashew chicken. No, I got lemon chicken. With rice?

So slow. No, there was no rice. No carbs. Remember his RTDs? Yeah. You're never allowed to give Misha ever again. Why? Because this is just...

You're not allowed to take a carbon sugar free RTD to a PYO. And then no rice because I'm carb-free. If you're a 20-year-old white girl. But I was drinking spirits before. I didn't want to change to wine. I've got a, what is that class you go to called? I've got a grit class in the morning. I don't want to be bogged down with like starchy carbs.

So it's just a few clean collective good drinks for me tonight, girls. Unbelievable. And lemon chicken. Hold the rise. Sir, the rice is free. I said hold the rise. Unbelievable. I'm feeling targeted.

Yeah. And then when you stood up, I saw it once, you stood up and you were wearing royal, well, navy blue Lululemon tights. Unbelievable. That is a lie. That is an absolute lie. Unbelievable. Just take a look at yourself anyway.

Fleshfawn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. A very happy 70th birthday to my father-in-law, John. Who's currently staying. He's at our place. He's been there for a couple of nights. Whenever he stays, Megan and I, you normally mention it within the first 30 seconds of arriving at work.

Some good yams. Oh, yeah. Well, we've eaten a lot. Today, because it's his birthday, for lunch, he must have long noodles. Okay. Is that what he said? Must have long noodles. You know why? Why? Long noodles, long noodles. Okay. Is that what he said? Must have long noodles. You know why?

Why? Long noodles, long life. Okay. Okay, right. Apparently that was his mother's saying, and she lived to like 94 or something. And so he's 70, so that's 24 more years. Yay.

Hooray. How do you get away with it? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Because he's a marvellous man. He's very entertaining to just... Unintentionally. Wildly unintentionally.

He said to me, what music are you into at the moment, Vaughan? And I said, oh, I don't know. A bit of everything, I suppose. Nothing like in particular. He's like, I find it very difficult to listen to any music that I don't sing. Any songs that I have not recorded. I'm back recording.

I was like, okay. Because he famously has a little karaoke machine, doesn't he? It's far more than that. He's at a karaoke machine, but then he splurged and bought himself a harmonising unit. He doesn't like spending a lot of money. No, he doesn't. Well, at the weekend, he asked me when he gets into his new place, his next place, he's having two televisions and he will require my Netflix log on for both.

Now, how many Netflix log ons do you have left? And I was like, oh, I don't know. Let's worry about that at the time. It should work. And Sade said, why don't you get your own Netflix logon? And he's like, my darling, you have four unused Netflix profiles. He's not wrong. Why would I pay when you are paying and you are not using them all?

He's got so much money though. I know this is how. Yeah, right. And he said to me, have you heard of the series The Boys? Because he'd love The Boys on Amazon. This is right up his wheelhouse. He would love it. I was like, yes.

And he's like, do you have an Amazon Prime blog on? I was like, nah, I do. I'm just not. You're just not giving it to him? He's on like my Netflix, my Neon, my Disney Plus. Yeah. He's on his own when it comes to Amazon. Okay.

So yeah, he said to me, oh, I'm back recording. I was like, oh, that's good. And he's like, I sing a song in Japanese. I was like, I don't know, you speak Japanese? He's like, I don't. But my friend who speaks Japanese tells me it's a beautiful song. I was like, okay's good. And he's like, I sing a song in Japanese. I was like, I don't know, you speak Japanese? He's like, I don't. But my friend who speaks Japanese tells me it's a beautiful song. I was like,

okay, cool. And then he obviously wanted me to say, play it for me, but I didn't write. Because I've got him for a few days, so you don't want to spend all your money at once. And then in the car,

Sade was nipping into a shop. We all sat, we're waiting in the car and he's like, how do I connect my phone to your stereo? And he connected it and the girls

my daughters are like you're not gonna play us your song again he's like I'll play you one I have not yet played you I only recorded it this week and he played us

his version of the from the Broadway show My Fair Lady right his song knows noaries, his singing, he'll sing all the parts.

Okay. He sung both the woman's and the male's parts of various songs. And my kids are like laughing in his face. Like, I don't laugh. Yeah. He's like, do you know what this is from? I was like, it's from My Fair Lady. He's like, yep.

And the kids are just like, ah, turn it off. Do you have a recording of this? I am being told that if I play that recording, I will not have a wife when I get home. I said, I'll read you the- I don't know what's different between this ridicule and actually playing it. I'll read you the messages. 6.49 a.m. Sade started the conversation with prrt.

Pretty cute. She's pretending to be a cat. I said, hello there. Now I need a copy of your father's song. And she said, why? I said, I'm going to play it on air for his birthday. I'm going to get him the exposure that he wants. He would love that. No. I said,

it's my gift. Where is the copy? And she just sent me a gif of Donald Trump waggling his finger saying, don't. I said, give it to me now. She said, nope. I said, I will find it. And she said, don't you dare play it on air. I will be so angry. You will not have a family

to come home to. So I can't play it for you. But rest assured, it's as great as you can possibly imagine. And one day when she does leave me, you'll play the song because what have I got to lose? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A guy has shared his experience, his relationship online,

and I would love to know if anyone can beat it or has been in the same predicament as this guy. Okay, what's the predicament? So he is British and his girlfriend, well, they've been together six years now. Now, his girlfriend, they all live in Britain, but comes from a South Asian family. Now, she has told him that he cannot meet her parents.

Not only can she not meet her parents, they don't know he exists. For six years. And it's six years and it's still going on. Is it a religious thing or a cultural thing? Cultural thing. Right. So she is worried about telling them

that she's dating a British guy and that she won't be allowed to move in with them or anything like that before they're married. Right. And she's just nervous about telling them in general. So he knows her sister and one of her closest cousins and that's it. And she has been through a graduation and all these life events, birthdays, and he's not allowed to attend.

He doesn't go because the parents don't know he exists. It's not like he's just never met them. Yeah, right. They don't know that she has a boyfriend and they're going six years strong. Because if they found out, the shit would hit the fan. Yeah. So if she ever goes to his house or if they're ever together,

she'll be like, I'm just going to hang out with a friend. But then she's probably got to put up with her parents saying, why haven't you met anyone? What about this? When are you going to find a nice boy? What about Susan's son? He's a good looking man. You should go on a date with him. That kind of stuff. Even if my parents do accept you, we will not be able to live together unless we're married. But surely that's okay. But then at least you can come to your

events. You can come to your birthday. you can come to your birthday, you can come to your graduation and stuff, just don't live together. I just thought that six years strong now. There'd be a lot of people in that situation though and it could be like religious reasons or the parents are really

conservative or they're racist. The race thing would be massive. It would be massive. It would be massive. Imagine if your parents were like that. That's like unbelievable. It's not. It sucks, but it's not unbelievable. It's not unbelievable, but that's like, wow,

like they should be happy for you no matter what, right? Then you just do an ultimatum, don't you? Be like, well, this is happening. I don't come to Christmas or see you unless you accept. But some people couldn't do that, could they? Right off their parents. Yeah.

Or it depends. Yeah, if their parents are like bankrolling them or stuff. Yeah. So can anyone beat six years? Have you been

in a similar situation where you've hidden your relationship from your parents or someone? Right, okay. And not told them you're seeing someone.

Yeah, would love to know. Imagine if someone was like living with their partner in secret. Is that possible? If you lived in different cities and then if your parents ever visited, be like, you go stay somewhere else. Or you just say they were the flatmate. Yeah. In the spare room that doesn't have anything in it.

Madness. Wow. Okay, so you that doesn't have anything in it. Madness. Wow. Okay, so you want to hear from people that have been hiding a relationship. Have you ever hid a relationship from your parents? Yeah. 0800 DARS at M. You can text as well 9696. I don't know if we'll beat six years. Maybe.

That's a long time to be kept secret. Alright, well if you've ever done that, give us a call. Someone said the gay community are about to blow your stories out of the water. So a guy has said that he's been with his girlfriend for six years and as of yet, her parents don't know he exists. He's never been to her birthday, anything. They've kept it a secret for cultural reasons. So many messages and calls coming through.

Let's start with Hayley. Hayley, what was the story? Did you keep this secret? No, it was my flatmate. So, yeah, my flatmate's gay. He was in a relationship for five years and they're still going strong. It's seven years now.

He came out and then his partner hasn't come out and he hasn't gone to anything. Like no birthday, not even coffee, like nothing. So what are they, do the parents just think they're flatmates? No, they don't live together, but they hang out a lot. So yeah, probably just parts of friends on his partner's side. Wow, after seven years together. You'd want to live with your partner, wouldn't you?

You'd be spending all your time together. And that's so good. I'm looking at buying a house soon. So, yeah, I think he's going to have to come out then. And as the partner, is it fair to get angry? Because you can't rush anyone. But then at the same token, you're like, well, I want to be in this.

But are his parents super religious or something? Not that I'm aware of, no. He just doesn't want to be conservative. Yeah, pretty much. I think he's a bit scared, to be honest. Yeah, wow. Okay, Hayley, thanks for your call. Liv, you had a secret relationship hidden from, was it your boyfriend's parents?

Yes, but I didn't know that I was a secret. Wow. So why was he keeping you a secret? It wasn't even anything like he was embarrassed of me or anything. We've been married, you know, what, five years nearly? I met him when I was 17 in the United States, uh, briefly. And then we talked online. Um, a few years later we started dating online and then, you know, he came to visit me for about 12 days.

Yeah. Love, just pure love. My family loves him. And so I told him, you know, if I sell everything I own, I can see you one time, but I don't think I'll be able, I don't know when I'll be able to come back. So if I stayed, would you want me? And the first thing he does on video chat is jump out of the bed in his underwear and get down on one knee and propose. And he proposes to me. I'm like, are you serious? I'm very millennial. And I was like, yes, I'd love to marry you, yes.

And so he told his parents, oh, she's coming for a trip. And it was, oh, well, she's staying for a few months. Oh, well, she might look for some work here for a little bit. And he didn't tell them everything, which was, I'm coming here, I'm moving here, we're getting married, which was our plan. Yeah. And I didn't know he had not told them because I told my parents the next day, I'm engaged, oh my God. And his whole plan was to pick me up from the airport, go have a quickie courthouse equivalent wedding, and then take me to his parents and be like, hi mom, hi dad, by the way, this is my wife.

And so that happened that happened or it didn't i found out the last two months or no it was the last month before i was supposed to get here i found out he hadn't told his parents and i said i swear to god if you don't go tell your mother right freaking now tell Don't tell your mother. He was like, well, what is it for business, though? And I was like, because you're the firstborn and it's your mother. Go tell her now. Your mother. Don't tell your mother.

Don't tell your mother. Get your phone. Right. And he, I get a call from his mother going, oh, my God. And she's the most beautiful, loving person I've ever met. She actually planned the most beautiful wedding. I I've ever met. She actually planned the most beautiful wedding. I felt like a princess on my wedding day. My

father-in-law walked me down the aisle and they actually paid for my whole wedding and they let us live with them to get on our feet and work on my visas and they have been the most supportive, loving, wonderful parents you can imagine. It absolutely was amazing to tell them

other than I didn't see the big deal. Oh, my God. Brilliant. Liv, thanks for your calls. It all worked out in the end, didn't it? Hey. Brilliant. Thanks, Liv.

Anonymous. Oh, this is good. Anonymous. You're in a secret relationship currently. Yeah, I am. Okay. Why? I've been going out with my partner it'll be 13 years next february

wow okay and he is one of my brother's best mates and they don't know no 13 years? Yep. But does your brother know that their friend has a partner? No. He just... He doesn't... He's a little bit younger. Right. So he just says, you know, still one of the boys, not ready to settle down, but everyone else around him's getting married

and having kids and buying houses and we're just like... So after 13 years, you don't live together or anything? No, we spend a lot of time together. And your brother doesn't ever see you spending time together and wonder if something's going on? No, because at all the big events, he invites his mates and I'm there because I'm his sister. Does that annoy you though?

Like, why don't you just tell them? Yeah, I did at first, but now it kind of adds to stuff. Like it's exciting. Not every six months, but 13 years. So wait, no, you're a secret to everyone because I feel like someone would end up finding out along the way and end up telling him. Oh, yeah, my mates know. Right.

But that side doesn't. Wow. But like, do you guys plan to like get married or anything? Live together? I don't know. We still just get the old 2am, what are you up to text? After 13 years. Wow.

Maybe that's the secret. Brilliant. Anonymous, thank you for your call. Some messages. I had a boyfriend introduced into my family after a year and they didn't like him. So they said you better break up with him. So that's what they thought. But we kept at it for seven years.

They only know we were together when I got pregnant and we have to get married. We had to get married. But they thought there'd been a big break in between hand. We've been together for 21 years now. Lots of cultural situations. Friends of mine, she's Indian and her partner's Maldi. She was meant to marry Indian they dated for over 10 years

got engaged bought a house together her parents never knew as she would have been kicked out of the family so it was like just this big secret that's crazy

it's so hard he died of cancer and her parents believed she was attending a friend's funeral and she had to go through that without her family it was so sad

and I'll never understand how she did it that's crazy he died and they still never knew yeah they never knew and she had to go through that without her family. It was so sad and I'll never understand how she did it. He died and they still never knew. Yeah, they never knew and she had to go. Because imagine that your partner dies, you definitely want the support of your family, but she couldn't go to them. Wow. Somebody said, I'm currently hiding my relationship from my parents. I'm very worried about the time they'll find out, when they'll find out. I'm not allowed to live with a boyfriend. It's a cultural thing.

I'm not even supposed to have a boyfriend unless they give them their approval and make the introductions. That's crazy. It's sad that people, I mean, before my old 13 years, she was loving it. But not everybody's in that situation.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. You just coughed. Yeah, I got choked up in the part. Not COVID? No, I choked on my own spit. Bit of spit hit the dangly thing in the back of your throat.

Our 50K fact of the day. It's all thanks to Save My Bacon, helping you borrow money online and growing your credit score at the same time. We'll ask you a question about this fact of the day if you can get through and answer correctly at midday and then at four o'clock as well. $500 up for grabs each time.

Today's fact of the day is about Charlie's Angels. Okay. Charlie's Angels. Charlie's Angels, come on. Yeah. Probably the most well-known to our generation, Charlie's Angels is the 2000 movie franchise. With Cameron.

Drew, Lucy and Cameron. No, who was it? Cameron D. Investigate. Charlie's Angels. Come on. Come on. Who was it? Cameron D. and Destiny?

Yeah, it was. My girl Drew Investigates. It was one of my girl Lucy Investigate. It wasn't Lucy. It was... Anyway. You've got to try it.

So before that, it was a TV show in the 70s. Yeah. And it was very, show in the 70s. Yeah. And it was very, very popular because of the three very attractive women that were in every episode. Is that what Farrah Fawcett was famous for? Yes.

Okay. Yes, Farrah Fawcett was in that. Her death was really overshadowed. She died the same week as Michael Jackson. Do you remember that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you always feel sorry for someone who, you know, deserves their own time to shine and their death.

Somebody bigger than them overshadows it. Anyway, in the 70s, because it was going so well, ABC, the network that made Charlie's Angels, were like, this is going so well, we should try it but with boys. And there was the ill-fated trial of Tony's Boys. What? Because you can't call me and angels. Well, you can.

You can. They could have been Tony's Angels and it would have been three. Tony's Boys. Tony's Boys. Why do you find that so amusing? Because it sounds so budget. Yeah, it does. And it was.

Tony's Boys. So how they decided to do it was towards the end of the fourth season, they were like, good morning, angels. Good morning, Charlie. I'd like you to work this week with my friend Tony's boys. And they tried to introduce them that way, and it was agreed upon to be the worst episode of Charlie's Angels ever. They got three guys, and they were quite handsome for the time.

One of them was an athlete. Another one was an actor who has since given up acting to concentrate on painting. Okay. And the other one you will never see ever again. And it failed, failed miserably. ABC were like, yeah, no one liked that. They were like, phew, thank God we didn't commission it

for a whole season. So today's fact of the day is there was a poor attempt at a Charlie's Angels spinoff called Tony's Boys. Fact of the day, day, day, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan's Helpline. So the way the Helpline works is you call up with a question and then you get to decide which one of us is going to help you.

None of us are qualified. Yeah, just maybe you need some life advice or some help in a tough situation. A task even. Yeah, we're here. Or just a 50-50 that you can't make a decision on maybe. Yeah, we're here for you. And we welcome this morning to the Fletcher Vaughan and Megan Helpline.

Kay, good morning. Good morning. What's your pickle, Kay? And I can redirect your call. So, my question or my pickle is, so how soon after a guy doesn't text back should you text back? So that would mean that you text him,

he didn't reply. How long do you wait until you text again without his reply? Well, Kay, I can either direct you, put you through to Megan, who... Has had one broken marriage, but still doing great on the second one. Yep.

There's me, who has no broken marriages. And many, many relationships. Yeah. Leaves lots of people on scene. Or there's Vaughn, who successfully courted somebody way out of his league with two cell phone networks and multiple text messages. Ten years of marriage this year.

Yeah. Who would you like me to put you through to, Kay? I reckon we'll go with you, Fletch. Yeah, no, I can see why. Now connecting you to Fletch. I can see why she's gone with you because you are the sort of person she would be messaging.

Yeah. She wants to know what's going on. She's going straight to the duck boy. Careful what you ask for here, Kay, because you might not like what you learn inside the dark cavern that is Fletch's mind. All right, let me unmute Kay.

Hello, Fletch speaking. How may I help you? Hi, Fletch. Hi, Fletch. Hi. I've just got a question for you. I know, I just heard, actually. I just heard.

Oh, beautiful. Don't cut her off. Let her speak. Well, we've all heard it. And also, stop eavesdropping on our conversations. Okay. Now, this person that's messaging you. Well, it's not really for me.

It's actually for my best friend. Oh, okay. And are they really into this guy, I'm assuming? Yeah, yeah. They were really into this guy. He was really, really nice. Full conversation. Called her beautiful

and then just stopped messaging her. Has she messaged him back? Yes. And nothing? Nothing. Did she hook up with him or was it just talking at this stage? Just talking. He is part of the North Island. He's what? He's part of the North Island?

Well, he's a mountain or a range. We're here in Christchurch. Ah, right, okay, right. So he's in the North Island. Right, okay. How did they get each other's numbers? Well, they met on Tinder, and then they just exchanged numbers via Tinder. Jesus, how far did she have her kilometres spread? I know, right?

Everybody. Maybe I would say he might have given up because, I mean, there's no chance of any follow-up, is there? And a quick payoff because of the long distance. He's just like, well, I'll just go closer. So what's your advice for the friend? So my advice would be find someone else. But

move on. Text him one last time saying you better be dead. No one leaves me on scene for this long. Why not? Now connecting you to Megan. Yeah, okay, thank you. I'd like to take the line. Okay, yeah, right. So I don't believe in playing games with that texting stuff.

So if he hasn't texted, she should just message one more time straight up and just ask a question. And if it doesn't come back, then you know. That sounds really good. And with, I mean, I've never been on Tinder myself, but it does sound like people kind of spread the net out and might be talking to a few people at once,

especially if they haven't hooked up yet. So, I don't want to say that maybe he's chosen someone else, but maybe he has. Yeah. Just like fire a message out, nothing too psycho like what my colleague Vaughn said, and just see if they bite back.

Okay, that sounds good. Now connecting you to Vaughn. Oh God, the psycho line. You better be dead. You best be dead. Or you will be dead. No one leaves me unseen for three days. Okay, no, no. Sorry about that.

Now connecting you to Megan. All right. Sorry about that again, Kay. I don't know if my colleague's actually going to work here for much longer. He's on his final warning. The calm, rational approach. I will tell you! This is not your call, Vaughan.

He's just being escorted from the building. I mean, I can relate. I'm a pretty protective best friend. Okay, so you slide into his DMs and be like, You better be dead! Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

I had a miscommunication with a mask. I just need to preface this by saying, and you're going to go, but my husband, Andrew, I met someone in the cafe for the first time and she was like, Oh, you're the wife. Compliments ensued.

Right. That doesn't sound like you're the wife. Like, oh, you're the wife. Compliments ensued. Right. Oh, I was going to say, because that doesn't sound like you're the wife. It sounds like, oh, you're my competition. That's what that sounded like. People are like, oh, you run it together, but I'm not there as much as him. Right, okay. So compliments ensued and he always likes to say things like, oh, yeah, she's, I don't know how I snatched this one and all that kind of stuff.

You're right. You're right. I did do that. And it goes on for a while and I'm just like one and all that kind of stuff. You're right. You're right. I did do that. And it goes on for a while and I'm just like, okay, you wrap it up. Wrap it up. But we went to the grocery. Well, because you don't like compliments. What?

And yeah, it's just embarrassing. And even the person standing there doesn't want to hear a lot about it. But we went to a veggie shop. Right. Wearing our masks. Okay. Everyone was wearing masks. And we got carried away

and did that thing where you go on for one thing and we all had our, had our hands full. Drop everything on the counter and she says, are these two together? And he said,

oh yeah, she's with me. And starts the whole, can you believe it? She's stuck with me. Oh, what's he done? No,

these are different days. He does this all the time. He's like, she's stuck with me. Can you he done? No, these are different days. He does this all the time. He's like, she's stuck with me. Can you believe it? Blah, blah, blah. And she's talking behind the mask and she says, she's super cute. And I was like, oh my gosh, thank you. That's so, I was like,

thank you. That's really sweet. Oh my gosh. And Andrew's looking at me all weird like, okay. Yep. Everyone goes quiet and we walk out of the shop and I was like, did you hear? She said I'm super cute. That was so nice.

Like she didn't have to say anything. And he was like, no, she called you super glue because you're stuck to each other. She's super glue. Yeah, because you can't see what people are saying to their masks. Also, she's incorrect. Super glue is the thing that bonds two people. You're not super glue. You, because you can't see what people are saying to their masks. Also, she's incorrect. Super glue is the thing that bonds two people. You're not super glue.

You're another object. He said she stuck with me. And he's the thumb and the super glue is... Yeah. But she was not amused by this chat at all. And she was like, oh, she's super glue. She doesn't want some smarmy happy couple rubbing it in her face at checkout, does she? That's why we all need those masks with a little window in them so we can see what people are saying.

In the meantime though, you should introduce her to Fletch. Always good to find a like-minded soul. Hurry up, take your vegetables, get out.

I keep my supermarket or my checkout chat to absolute minimum. They don't need that. Good. Yep, good. See ya. Can I put my headphones

back in? Zeddy's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, Can I put my headphones back in?