ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 22nd January 2021

Episode Date: January 21, 2021

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Hello, welcome to the Fleet Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's Thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe Coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. Hayley, you're going marching this weekend? Yeah, mate, I march every weekend. You march every weekend? And Wednesday nights. Like band marching?

No, no, no, no, no. So marching is a lovely but dying New Zealand sport. And it's native to New Zealand. Very New Zealand centric, eh? The type of marching that happens. It's like drill. It's just all female drill. No instruments, no batons, none of that American rubbish.

It was created in the 1940s. Is it like a cross between military marching and that sort of American marching? What would you say it's a hybrid of? It's about, yeah, and that sort of american marching what would you say it's a hybrid it's about yeah it's sort of yeah it's sort of a cross between military marching and it's all about formations so it is i mean it's kind of like that american band marching but just way right so you'd go to a competition and if somebody put like a foot wrong like actually misstepped you'd be out

so you've got judges along the back boundary and they all look at something different. So structure judge, upper body, feet. And it's all about being uniform. And there you go. I've marched my whole life. It's in my family. It's a real central lower North Island thing, because my nan did it. No, it's a New Zealand thing.

It used to be really, really popular in the 70s. And then now, just no one wants to put that much time in. What's the biggest region for it? Yeah, probably Wellington now. Okay. Marlene used to march for Pihama in Taranaki. Okay, right. I think it was Pihama.

That's how they met. My granddad was in a band, and he played the big doofy drum. Yeah. And she was a marching girl. Yeah, well, because back in the day when it first started, we just put a track on now, like, you know, over a sound system. Yeah. But back in the day, they used to bring in the marching bands

and they'd play it. It was really popular now, honestly. Or like you say, dying, yeah. Well, what little girl. I mean, when I was young, I used to train Tuesday nights for three hours. And then on Saturday, Sunday, you train from 10 till 4. And then all my life, I trained from 9 till 5 with my senior marching team. Saturday, Sunday, forever.

So who wants to do that? Absolutely nobody. For a hobby that can't get turned into a profession because it's only in New Zealand. Keep you out of trouble though? No, I managed to squeeze that in as well. Okay, good. No, that's not as good because everybody's like, oh, you've got to keep your kids busy to keep you out of trouble though? No, I managed to squeeze that in as well. Okay, good. No, that's not as good because everybody's like,

oh, you've got to keep your kids busy to keep them out of trouble. Yeah. You've got to squeeze that in. You've got to go on YouTube, guys. You've got to have a little look at the marching. But what should people search? New Zealand marching.

Search. Well, the team I marched for the longest and it's the most successful team in the history of the sport, was coached by my coach for 50 years, is Lockheel. L-O-C-H-I-E-L, Lockheel Marching Drill Team. We travelled overseas.

We were one of the only teams to do so. But you said that no other place does it. So we'd compete in New Zealand in the season, and then off-season we would travel to tattoos, like military tattoos, and just perform. In front of an old castle. In front of an old castle. We'd done the Edinburgh military tattoo three times, in front of 9, castle. In front of an old castle. I've done the Edinburgh Military Tattoo three times in front of 9,000 people a night for a month.

Wow. It ain't no small thing. I tell you what, marching's cool. I'm bringing it back. I'm bringing it back. Do your thing. Fletch has got the calves for it. Oh, yeah, I've got big calves.

Because if you look at your calves, you're constantly doing that. You do need, right, you're doing, because I always walk, yeah, I don't, yeah, I'm always on my toes. Yeah. Okay, so I'd be a good marcher. I've been known to rip a skinny jean in my time.

Really? I've been known to not fill in a skinny jean in my time. You need to do some mark times, mate. Quads, packed, stacked, carved skinny. ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Happy Friday. Happy Friday. How's this for great news for Friday? I just received a message saying, just met a tinny dealer in Hamilton that looks exactly like you. Wow, that was a quick commute to work this morning, wasn't it? Yeah, just via Hamilton. That's what I do with my drop-offs.

Yeah, right. Okay. But yeah, there's... I'm imagining this is just someone who's bald with a beard. Yeah, because this happens to you often that people go, this looks like you. Every time. Bald and a beard. Like the guy that stormed the Capitol. Oh.

Yeah, with the horns. The guy with the horns. Yeah. Yep. Just had a beard. The German bodybuilder that married his sex doll last year. Yep. That guy too.

Remember those two army guys that kissed that looked like us? Those Canadian dudes. They kind of did look like us. They did. I remember seeing that. It was hot. It was pretty hot.

It was hot. There were a lot of calls from listeners to recreate that photo, but we felt we couldn't do it justice. No. Yeah. That's the only reason you did it? That was the only reason.

Only reason. That's fair. All right. On the show today, the Black Clash is on in Christchurch today. Yeah, Team Rugby takes on Team Cricket. One apiece so far. There's been two of these previously,

so this is the third. And I'm not saying final, but it will, you know, definitively make one of them the leader. These are always great games. Pretty funny to watch. Yeah, hilarious. And the ACC commentator,

all the boomers complained to TV1. Is anyone ever just shocking at it? Oh, there's quite a few. Fantastic. I'll definitely be watching. Yeah, but not like... I haven't seen anybody run in. You know when you think you can bowl a cricket ball, but it's been a few years

and you roll and it just goes... Yeah. I haven't seen any of that because they probably do a bit of practice. Yeah. So we've got a double pass up for grabs. We'll do that before nine o'clock,

quarter to nine this morning because we have from Team Rugby on the phone, Israel Dagg. Yeah, everybody's favourite sportsman called Israel. Yeah.

No, wait a minute. There's Adesanya. I hadn't thought about him. Yeah, I know, yeah. Hey, they're equalisers in the falau. Yeah. Yeah. There's Adesanya I hadn't thought about him Yeah I know yeah Hey there You were thinking About Falau Falau yeah

Yeah But Izzy Dagg's on the phone Yeah so Quarter to nine this morning I didn't even think about it Quite a few people Got Israel Yeah

Coming up the top six Yeah the top six things to do In a cheap camper van Because remember that sweet deal We all got last year From the camper van Before summer Before summer yeah

And then blocked out The summer period Yeah Yep So there was all that hype About camper vans Remember that sweet deal we all got last year from the camper van? Before summer. Before summer, yeah. And then blocked out the summer period. Yeah. Yep. So there was all that hype about camper vans. So you get excited about going and seeing New Zealand in a camper van over summer. So you ended up paying full price. They're doing that again.

So it'll be cheaper. Cheap camper vans. Oh, okay. Like March, April. So maybe you could get like an Easter weekend. March, April's still warm. Climate change. God bless you. Yeah, it's good stuff.

Yeah, and the beach is getting closer to my house. Yeah, but you know there was snow like the start of this week. Yeah, I know, but in a couple of days it's going to be 26 in Auckland. Oh yeah, right, okay. It's just how we roll now. Yeah. Up and down. So the top six coming up, but

next on the show, would you call this the best celebrity roast of Trump? The world's sassiest, sauciest domestic goddess, Nigella Lawson. She's at it again with a very well-timed, cheeky little tweet yesterday of a recipe, her recipe of the day, which... Did she do a recipe of the day? I didn't know that. She does a recipe of the day. Okay. Hasht her recipe of the day, which. Did she do a recipe of the day? I didn't know that. She did a recipe of the day.

Okay. Hashtag recipe of the day. Yesterday, of all days, it was the bitter orange tart. Uh-huh. Trump. Brilliant. Brilliant. Isn't that good?

Good from her. Yeah. She said, well, it just, today's recipe of the day just happens to be a bitter orange tart. She says no more, basically. She just dives into the recipe. And Twitter, they are just absolutely standing her for this, saying they're washing it down with glasses and glasses of wine in honour of her. They are applauding her.

Does she drink? Is she quite the prolific drinker? Mate, she loves a bloody bold red as she's cooking a leg of lamb. Oh, right. Yeah, well, that's accompaniment, isn't it? Absolutely. Does she like a wine? I mean, she was embroiled in a cocaine conspiracy.

Yeah, I know, but I was still... And we all know nothing goes better with cocaine than a big, hefty, robust red. Sure. Do you have to be drinking to do cocaine? No, I don't believe so. Could you just do cocaine cocaine? No, I don't believe so Could you just do cocaine without I don't know

I just assume that if she loves some hard drugs She'd be loving a glass of wine Cocaine doesn't have any calories Oh yeah, right, okay Yeah, but you know Maybe she's more of a Prosecco girl A dry white Yeah, true

Prosecco is the diet wine of choice. It is, isn't it? I thought it was really sweet. No, but Prosecco is one of the lowest in sugar and carbohydrates. I remember reading that a glass of red wine had more calories than a flute of champagne. Really? It was blown away. What about like a vodka soda water?

Yeah, vodka soda. I thought that was better. That's called the old skinny B. Yeah, right. Okay, right. But a glass of red wine is definitely more calorific, but it's healthier for you in terms of its antioxidants. You know, they say a glass of red wine is actually good for you.

It could help prevent cancer and all that. So if I'm drinking a bottle then, per se, I've got anti-cancer properties. So you're topping up. I'm topping up. I'm hyping. I'm making up for the 18 years where I wasn't allowed to drink. Yeah, I don't know if that's how it works. That's why Italians live so long.

I thought it was the diet as well. The olive oil. Well, that's why I put a teaspoon of olive oil in every glass of good wine I have and I stir it was the diet as well. The olive oil in the family unit. Well, that's why I put a teaspoon of olive oil in every glass of red wine I have. And I stir it around. But I always feel like every, they always say, oh, you know, Japanese people stay young so long

because they eat a lot of rice. And Italians, they look so good because they eat a lot of pasta. If I eat rice and pasta, I'd blow up like a bloody balloon. Yeah. Especially if over that rice you're putting a delicious butter chicken. Oh, yeah.

See, that's actually probably the reason I blow up when I eat rice. A beautiful sugar and a buttery old man. Yeah, because we're always accompanying it with stuff. Well, I know we're trying to do good with eating rice covered in sauce and stuff. How is that? And high salt soy sauce. Yes, that's correct. Well, I don't think Nigella's ever been one to worry about calories.

She's a hot, hot hottie and she loves a treat. So I'm going to give this bitter orange tart a go. Yeah. So many great things to come out of the inauguration yesterday. Oh, yeah. The memes. The Bernie. The Bernie with his mittens sitting there on the chair.

The one with him outside SPQR. If you've not seen, he's been photoshopped outside SPQR. It's so good. Looks like he's actually there. But as a fellow bald man, it drives me nuts that he's wearing mittens but not a beanie or some form of head covering. You do lose a lot of heat out the top and the bottom, don't you? Straight out the head. Yeah.

Straight out the head. The bottom. Which bottom? Your feet. Oh, right. And your ass. That's why you always wear pants. Do you? Have you ever seen anybody in the snow with no pants on? I'm not wearing pants. I'm wearing a dress. I made that sound worse than it was. I'm just sitting here with a top on.

It's Friday. We don't wear pants. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Some teenagers have what looks from the outside in the UK to have been doing a lovely service. Okay. They set up a hand sanitising sort of kiosk outside a supermarket.

Yep. In Bradford in the UK. They would say, hi there, would you like some hand sanitiser just before you go into the supermarket? And people would say, oh, yes, please. And they'd put their hands out and they'd just be like, and they'd rub it together and they'd keep walking. You know how we all sanitise and walk now?

Yep, yep. Oh, you don't stop and take the time? No. Because I like to wave my arms and make it cold. Yeah, you get a bit of air going, yeah, me too. And then you're like, it's cold, it must still be wet. And then you touch your hands and it's dry and you're like, magic. Unless you get one of those really lubey ones.

So I had a lube. I remember it was early in the pandemic and i went into jb hi-fi and they had a courtesy bottle at the front and i went and i was like oh my god this feels like lube yeah this is triggering and if it's one of them i remember last time i was all lubed up in a jb hi-fi trying to get my discount it didn't work of all the places to be lubed up you do find so i like the ones that just sort of evaporate But you do find, so I like the ones that just sort of evaporate into cleanliness. I'm a fan of the foam. The ones that go

Yeah, I do like a foam. Because you can get that around your hands and it's gone. I was reading one of those epidemiologists and the news was saying that a hotel they were staying at, and this was naughty, shouldn't have had the hand sanitiser in the sun

because it degrades the alcohol. Does it? So you've got to watch leaving a bottle of hand sanitiser in the sun. I didn't know that was a thing. Neither. Mine, yeah. Well, yeah, because mine will sit in the car and sun will stream in on it. And roast.

Maybe leave it in the glove box. That's quite nice too. Have you had your hand squirt with a warm sanny? No. Yeah, I don't mind that either. I don't mind a warm sanny. Yeah. You get in the car, the car's in the glove box. That's quite nice too. Have you had a hand squirt with a warm sanny? No. I don't mind that either. I don't mind a warm sanny. Yeah. You get in the car,

the car's in the car park, you give yourself a little warm sanny and you're like, that's nice. Oh, okay. And then it's dry. Yeah, right.

And I think if you're going to have a big bottle with a pump lid, one pump is enough for one person. Not like a quarter, because there's some of them

you have to give them a quarter pump because if you do you have to give them a quarter pump because if you do a full pump, that's too much. A puddle of sanny in your hands. It is nice when they give you a warning, though. I've been in a few shops that give you a sign that say, beware, I squirt. Yes.

There's a bookstore in Wellington that was like, careful, I'm a squirter. Yes. It was, wow. And if you give it a tap, you're like, she is too. Just a little gentle on her, careful on her. You don't want to make a mess. See, because the sheets always need a wash. I mean, the shirt always needs a wash because it gets on.

Anyway, so this group of teenagers were outside a supermarket and they were offering people sanitiser. However, it was not hand sanitiser. Was it lube? It was super glue Were they filming it? I don't know The woman who reported them

Said she avoided it And the only reason is she'd just Sandied in her car Before she'd hopped out And so she was like no thank you But then she walked past and she was like she could smell it She was like that's weird And then she watched somebody else do it And then they were like, no, thank you. But then she walked past and she was like, she could smell it. Yeah, right. She was like, that's weird. And then she watched somebody else do it.

And then they were like, oh, that's weird. And then they were like, oh, that's not hand sanitizer. But they were well into the supermarket by then. That's quite dangerous. Because you do rub your hands together for a bit, right? Could imagine if you put your hands on the trolley. And then you're stuck. Then you're stuck.

See, that is bad. That is hurt. Also, that super glue, if you've ever tried gluing anything together, it doesn't set until it touches your skin. You're like, is that set? And you touch it, you're like, no. And then it's wet on your finger. And the minute you stick your thumb on it, it's like, done.

Yeah. I'm tearing these fingerprints off. Yeah, yeah. Did you want to be a criminal? No, no. Oh, tough luck. You don't have fingerprints anymore. You might as well begin your life of crime.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top 6. Hello. Today's Top 6. Top 6 things to do in a cheap camper van. Cheap camper

vans are coming back to New Zealand. So between now and March 31, the rental prices of Brits, Maui and Mighty Motorhomes have been reduced to as low as $79 a day. That's less than half the price of the same time last year when there were still people here travelling around the country from overseas. Oh, yeah. We were getting to that point where they weren't about to be allowed, eh?

Yeah. You had to quickly go. So hires of 14 to 27 days would give campers an additional 20% off renting a camper van for 28 days or more. If you did 28 days or more, that'd be a 40% discount. And what day does it finish? March 31. Oh, just in time for Easter.

Good Friday's the 2nd of April. Yeah. So that gives them enough time to get it back, give it a quick vacuum and a wipe, and then start charging full price for Easter. Yeah, which is good. So I've got the top six things to do in a cheap caravan. Number six, jumps.

Sorry? Jumps. In six, jumps. Sorry? Jumps. In a camper van. In the van. Jump the van, yeah. Make a little ramp and jump the van. Oh, Vaughan there. I'll just say right now that there's no way

we're encouraging people to hire a camper van and do a jump. You're not going to like the other five on my list then. Number five, flips. Number five, skids. Oh, here we go. Okay, right. Yeah. I don't know.

They're probably two-wheel drive. Get a wheel gun. Drop the clutch. This is why you don't put your credit card down when you check into a hotel with Vaude.

No. No, that's bullshit. I'm very responsible in a hotel. It's accommodation on wheels is where I lose my mind. Rental cars. Yeah, right. If the accommodation is built on concrete

foundations, I'm very responsible. It was at that time in Wellington, I got you were parking, you were doing, you were faffing, and I went to check in and I said, I'll just grab everybody's keys and I put my credit card down because they were like, oh, I'll just get a credit card. I was like, yes, I trust my workmates. I've known them for years.

Why wouldn't I? They raided minibars. Oh, but that's on you. You walked right into that. Trust was lost that day. I was real hungry and I saw like lollies. I was like, well. Any time I'm in a hotel and it goes past 10pm,

I'm hungry. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a real room servicer. Where was it that they cottoned on to that point? You know, if you were like caught in a pinch at 10, but you knew the next morning you could walk to the dairy next door and

re-buy the Snickers bar you ate for like a third of the price and put it back in there and no harm, no foul. But remember there was one, oh, there was a hotel and they'd put stickers on or something. Or they'd re-package stuff. Yeah. Or they'd repackage stuff. Yeah. Or they'd buy special sized things that you couldn't easily buy.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what I remember. And you, when you were taking stuff out of the fridge. Yeah. Cheeky buggers. I've been in a hotel once that had a fridge that was automated and it was all done on weight. And it would know if you remove something. There was a sticker on the fridge that said if you remove this for more than 30 seconds,

you will be charged for it. What if you're just wanting to have a little nosy? Could you Indiana Jones it? Like if you were going to have a bottle of Coke, you put like a shampoo in there or something? It's like when you can't find your key card for the lighting slot, so you just put in like a... Your one card.

Yeah, your one card. Yeah, and now I don't have a one card. Oh. That room has a light on all the time. It does. Number four on the list of the top six things to do in a cheap camper van.

Drive the length of the country at 70 kilometres an hour. Why not? Number three on the list of the top six things to do in a cheap camper van rental. Measure the exact height of the camper van

and then find a bunch of things that you can just fit under. All like the drive-through? Yeah, the people watching are going to be like, they're not going to fit under there, but you've measured so you know. And they're now freaking out. And then you cruise through and you can, I don't know, maybe give them a shucker to show them.

Have you ever seen someone get wedged in one of those car parks? I've seen photos, yeah. It's so good. It's good as long as you weren't hoping to get in or out of that car park anytime soon because they always wreck the gates and stuff as well. Yeah, yeah. And you're stuck there. But it's fun to walk past and be like, oh, no.

And you say, oh, no. I've heard that a hundred times already. Oh. Like that. Someone didn't know the height of their vehicle. Number two on the list of the top six things to do in a cheap camper van, turn it into a pamper camper. Okay.

A what? A pamper camper. Get in A what? A pamper camper. Get in there. Pamper yourself. Get a foot spa. Oh. Just change your scenery. Maybe put on some Enya.

Yeah. Park up beside a big lake. Yes. Beautiful. And just pamper yourself. I feel like there's a real business in there. Yeah. Smith's Pamper Campers.

Yeah. Smith's. And yeah. It comes with a foot spa and one of those little things that heats towels. You'd get round to your... A microwave? I mean, you could have... A lot of companies use a microwave.

You'd get round to your first client's house and realise your foot spa's gone all over the floor. Yeah. Because you didn't fill it up when you got there. Yeah. I heard a bit of a schlop in the back, sorry, man. Yeah. You'll be right, though. Up you hop.

Yep. Get in there. And number one on the list of the top six things to do with a cheap camper van, a Breaking Bad meth-making party. Okay. Take it out. It's a party into the desert road. Yep. That's kind of the most sort of Albuquerque desert-looking place we've probably got in New Zealand.

Yeah. And make some meth. Meth it up. Yeah, make some meth. Why not? I've heard it's easy. Yeah. It is easy.

You know, Dee? No, I actually... Hang on. This is easy. You know, do you? No, I actually, hang on. This is scary. No, I have a friend who works with the police busting like P-labs. Yeah. And she knows how to make it all because you have to keep up with the latest practices of how to make drugs. I could get us a very easy recipe if we wanted to do this.

I need an entry level and I need diagrams to go with as well. And because I heard when the police bust it, the way it was cooked is often an indicator of who did it. Yeah, it is. And then they can trace where it came from. So cooks have styles. Yeah. Just like the TV show.

Like the Blue Meth. Yeah. That Heisenberg made. That would actually be quite fascinating to bust to do that. Yeah. See when they explode in your face. Yeah. That is today's top six.

All right. thank you for that satirical list, Vaughan, of things you definitely shouldn't do in a camper van. Blah, blah, blah. And tourism holding campers. Legally cover our ass. Blah, blah, blah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. $25 million.

Yep. How long would it take us to, I don't know, put that together? Can you see that up? 25 million years. Five lifetimes. Yeah. All of the lifetimes. Well, apparently that's how much a supermarket's going to be for sale.

It's going to cost. This is New World Vic Park. I've never actually thought about how much it costs to buy it. Because are you buying the building? You're buying. Or just because sometimes they leave, or do they own the land in the building? Oh, I don't know.

Because you know you buy business. The situations might change. Yeah, I don't know. That might be... I mean, this is all borrowed land, to be honest. We're caretakers. We're all tenants. We're all tenants of the land.

So... Sorry, carry on. No, it's nice to be reminded. It was good. That was a lovely reminder. It's nice to be reminded. It was good. That was a lovely reminder. It's nice to be reminded. So if you've ever been to New World Vic Park, to put it into terms for people in other parts of the country,

it's up there with like Thorndon New World in Wellington. It's Flash. It's Flash. Yeah, it is. It's a nice Wellington. It's Flash. It's Flash. Yeah, it is. It's a nice one. It's where you can go. Maryvale in Christchurch. Yeah.

You can buy sort of specialty sausages there. Yeah. You know what I mean? You go to your standard sort of sausage aisle, and they've got some organic veal and tomato. Yeah. It's ooh-la-la. Heirloom tomato. Yeah. It's ooh la la. Heirloom tomato.

It's everything's got an adjective before it. Because you're reading an article. It's about all these supermarkets around the country for sale. Who knew they were that expensive? So foodstuffs, they have New World, Pack and Save, Foursquare. Yes. Now, they have a rule that you can't own more than one at a time. Oh, why? Because otherwise someone would probably own all of them. Yeah. Yeah, they have a rule that you can't own more than one at a time. Oh, why?

Because otherwise someone would probably own all of them. Yeah. Yeah, right, okay. Yeah, and then they would have the power to overthrow the foodstuffs board. Oh, that's quite a nice little thing, isn't it? Where the power sits. Keep it nice and even, keep it spread out. Yeah, so you're allowed one.

And I guess the idea is you work your way up, right? Yep. You start with a four square and you're like, got this sorted, and then you take your money and you buy a new world and you work your way up, right? Yep. You start with a four square and you're like, got this sorted, and then you take your money and you buy a new world and you work your way up. I don't know. Well, it turns out the crown jewel, the piece a la resistance, and the foodstuffs line up is pack and save Albany.

Oh. Oh, I believe, did producer Jared, you used to work there, didn't you? You were a P&S. Yeah, that was my old stomping ground. Yeah, what was your department? You're South African, so you're not actually allowed to live anywhere else in Auckland. I was one of the checkout brass. Were you?

Yeah. I would have picked you for produce. No. I wish. Yeah, I would have had you lined up. I would have had you pinned for produce. I would have had you on the floor somewhere, not stuck behind a checkout. Oh, I tried.

The checkout's fun, though. No, no, no, no, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no We'll go to our checkout boy. Yeah, it's a laser and they've got a little metal slide. Yeah. You're still on that buzz. I always imagined they had a little pedal under their foot. Like a sewing machine. Exactly. Like a banana. Yeah. Right.

So do you have items per minute? Yeah, every month at our personal performance review, we got our... They were dragging you into it for every month you got one of those. Actually, I think it was every three months.

Three months, I think. Really? Yeah, and we'd get our scan rate. What was your scan rate? I think mine was hovering around 20 per minute. And is that good? Yeah.

Yeah, look at that flex. Now that there's self-service checkouts, I reckon I'd probably be pretty good at that. There's no way you're beating 20 a minute, though. That's one every three seconds.

You think about that. Yeah, and you'll never get through the self-service without needing assistance anyway. Do you know what I mean? So that delays the whole process. It slows it right down. Yeah, right. So what?

Is that one of the ooh-la-la ones? This guy's selling New World Vic Park. He wants to buy this. This is the news story. This is the first domino that's triggering all these other supermarkets needing to be sold. Right. So he story. This is the first domino that's triggering all these other supermarkets that need to be sold. Right. So he's selling.

So the people who own your supermarket, they're not getting out of the game. They're cashing out. Right. Guy that owns Vic Park New World is moving to there. Right. Which has triggered somebody else is going to try to buy Vic Park New World, but they have to sell their New World to get into that New World.

Right. Yeah. So my pack and save was the, I believe it was the most profitable supermarket in Australasia when I was working there. Wow. Australasia. Big time.

No wonder if you're scanning bloody 800 things a second. The way you say that with such a sense of pride that you're like, and that's all me then. That's all me, baby. That was the most successful one. You set the bar. Yep. I was MVP.

Wow. Were they paying okay? Yeah, pretty good for a supermarket. Okay, good, good. All the dudes at school were like, man, can I get a job at Pack and Save? Really? Yeah. Can I get a job at Pack and Save?

You wouldn't last. You wouldn't last. You wouldn't last. What a thing to say. You don't like people. I wouldn't last. That's why I'm working in produce, baby. I don't like people, but wouldn't like... That's why I'm working in produce, baby. I don't like people, but I love stacking apples.

Yeah. I love it. You can tell a good supermarket by the way they stack their apples. Yeah. Thank you. You know, like, I grew up in Wellington. New World Thorndon. Mm.

They stack a good apple. They go, you know, like, stack, stack, stack, stack, stack one line, and the next one's sort of in the gaps of the, you know, it's just... But I don't like that because then when I take my apples, there's the whole structure is then... Is weakened. Is weakened. And I don't like that because then when I take my apples, the whole structure is then... Is weakened. Is weakened. And I don't want to be responsible for them to tumble.

Yeah, I guess they're so confident in their produce, you don't have to sort of search for the perfect apple. They're all perfect. And they're patronage. Like, they know that the people coming in aren't going to be... They're classy people. Yeah. They're not riff-raff like you come in and stuff up their structures.

They're not apple squishers. Oh, I'm an apple squisher. Do you know what I am? I'm an avocado nib squisher. I'm an avocado nib popper. Like I'll roll it and if it rolls, and then I'll have a look at the green and I'll just talk about it. Not today and I'll put the lid back on it.

So you guys are classy. I'll just grab my whole hand. Sometimes the finger's gone through and I've had to put it to the back. But that's on them for selling a squishy, haven't I? Yes. Really? Yeah. Well, if you've got some spare 25 or there's a whole lot of supermarkets for sale.

Well, maybe if all us and maybe all of the listeners chipped in, we could own it. The People's Supermarket. Yeah, the People's Supermarket of Victoria. Do you want to be head of checkout? You can be the head of the checkout team, Jared. So you know what you're doing. You want me to be head of checkout? Yeah. Oh the head of the checkout team, Jared. So you know what you're doing. You want me to be head of checkout? Yeah.

Oh, it wouldn't work out very well. Oh, really? I got a written warning or two. Oh. What for? Well, you didn't tell us that before when you were saying, oh, I was the MVP. I had...

It was just banter. Obviously, I wasn't the MVP. What are you recording? What is your terrible banter on checkouts? Oh, just talking to other checkout operators while I've got a customer, handing them notes. What is it a customer? Handing them notes?

What are you, in class? I once got a customer's child to take my note to another checkout operator. That's cute. Who's complaining about that? Kids love running notes. It was highly inappropriate. It would have been highly inappropriate content. Wow.

I've still got a note that one of my mates wrote me while I was on checkout, and I've had it for like seven years. It's the most horrendous thing I've ever seen. Oh, my gosh. Are you sure when you applied for this job, none of this was said? I kept it on the sly. Yeah. It's 2021, and I would say that

fad diets crash diets are probably a bit more tut tutted these days but this 1970s diet that was printed in Vogue is doing the rounds on the internet again

and it's insane So this was a serious and actual diet? In 1977 Vogue fashion magazine biggest fashion magazine, biggest fashion magazine in the world arguably, yes, they shared this as a way to drop

two and a half kgs in three days. Jesus. Which I think probably back then in the 70s would be very alluring to a lot of readers. Cut your arm off at the elbows? That's a pretty quick way to... Is that how much an arm weighs? I feel like mine's heavier than that.

Have you ever fallen asleep? I was going up the arm, and I thought there's no way the hand weighs 2.5 kgs. Right. So I went to the elbow. To the bow. Yeah. If you had an ordinary...

Because I reckon most of your weight would be in your torso, because that's where all the good stuff is. I'm not sure. I'd imagine the heart would be heavier than we think. On average, an arm weighs about 5.3% of your total body weight, depending on your gender. The leg's 17.5, so you'd get a big weight loss

if you lost a leg. Yes. Okay. But the leg does a lot. Well, this diet requires slightly less of a sacrifice, but only slightly. So it's a three-day crash diet in order to drop weight nice and fast. And here it is. Breakfast, you wake up, rise and shine.

Okay. You're about to go to work. What do you cook? One egg, specifically hard-boiled. We don't want any oil added in there. One egg. And with that, you have one glass of white wine, dry, preferably shabless. Never heard of it.

Dry white wine, though, is the important thing here. We don't want sugar. And after you're down your white wine, you have a black coffee, no milk. Okay. So you've had one egg, one glass of wine, and a black coffee. You set off to your day, you head off to work, slightly pissed. So Chablis is a varietal of Chardonnay. So you're going to have a glass of dry chard.

Not a buttery chard. A dry chard with your hard-boiled egg. Okay, a dry shards. Not a buttery shard. A dry shard with your hard-boiled egg. Okay, a dry shard. You struggle to get to lunch. It's 12 o'clock. You knock off. You head back home because you're not going to find this anywhere. You head back home and cook two eggs hard-boiled is best, but poached

if necessary. And then you have two glasses of white wine, Chablis, and another black coffee. Right. So at this point it's about 12.30 and you've had three glasses of wine and two coffees and three eggs. Okay. You go back to work, now you're really pissed.

You head home finally and you have 150 grams of steak grilled with black pepper, lemon juice, love that, but nothing with it. No sides, no patates, no brock or anything like that. And then you have the remainder of white wine, one bottle allowed per day.

One bottle. So you've got one glass, because what, your average bottle of wine is four glasses. Four to five, yeah. Unless you've been pouring heavy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Sprout Pour, we're about a half-half. Yeah, so have 150 grams of steak,

grilled with black pepper, lemon juice, remainder of your bottle of wine and another cup of coffee to end the day. You do that for three days, you'll shed two and a half kgs. Wow, what a horrific diet. That's horrendous. And they published that as if it was like legitimate.

Oh, it was not with a wink or anything like that. No, no, no, this was the real diet that will probably leave you feeling quite hungry and quite drunk. But quite skinny at the same time. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A couple, I'm imagining there's been some heated discussion about this.

A lady has made her partner sell his full-sized dark stormtrooper, to put it. If you're not overly familiar with Star Wars, it's a black version of the white stormtroopers that you're probably very familiar with. So this is a dress-up. They're mostly pilot. Yeah, right.

They're mostly piloting TIE fighters. Okay. Is it wearable? It looks wearable. It's like full human size, but it was set up on a mannequin. Right, like a coat of arms. Yes, yes. And he had it on display for all to see.

God, you wouldn't want to put on weight. You wouldn't be able to fit your Stormtrooper costume. I don't imagine there's a lot of stretch in there. Have you seen the average person that goes to cosplay to dress up as Stormtrooper? They don't mind if there's a little pock-o in it. You're allowed a little bit of Poc Pocs.

Did you see Timmy wearing Morrison in his Boba Fett outfit in Mandalorian Season 2? There was a little bit of Poc Pocs and it's cute. I love a little Poco.

It's cute. And you've got to have a bit of reserves because you never know when you're going to be stuck in space. Says a lot about the catering on the,

where do they come from? The ships. Oh no. Oh the fleets like the Death Star. The fleets, yeah. Good catering and the missiles. Great the Death Star The fleets yeah Good catering And the mess halls

Great catering The old The ships Well they used to be great Battlestar Galactica I don't know You're wrong on that one You're wrong

Very wrong Even I know that That would be quite terrifying In the middle of the night When you're going to the toilet Yes It's far out If you had it motion activated

So the lights came on But do you think It was a case of He's got a stormtrooper outfit And it's just taking up space Yes. It's far out. If you had it motion activated so the lights came on. But do you think it was a case of he's got a stormtrooper outfit and it's just taking up space and maybe there's no room in their house for it? It was quite big. I wonder if it's just a clash of taste. We've had this recently. Aaron and I are moving into a smaller house and so we've been replacing some things.

You have a lot of trinkets. You've got quite an eclectic decorative. We're a very eclectic couple. A lot of curio, a lot of antiques. And recently Aaron just bought a pirate ship. Shit hot. How big is it? I'll have it if it's got to go.

Is Aaron born? It is huge. It's like those ones that you'd usually see in a glass case. Like one of those model pirate ships. Oh, my dude. Is it based on an actual ship? Probably. I don't know.

I don't care for it. Where did he find it? There's a place in Petone in Wellington called, what is it? And it's just all ship-themed antiques. Honestly, Aaron was like a kid going into this place. Anyway, so we turn up to this bushwocket or whatever it's called. Bushwocket? That's not a real word.

And we turn up. Swashbucklers? Was that what you were after? Swashbucklers was what I was after, but it's not that. Anyway, and we turn up there and he said, I bought a ship online. And they said, oh, we'll go get it for you. It is huge. It's like.

Would it fit on the back seat of the car? Yeah. Well, here's a ute though. Oh, sorry. It needed to be transported via ute. Yeah, it went in the back. And I want to say that we're moving into a place not much bigger than 70 square metres. Yeah.

And this ship is coming with us. Oh, it's got to go. Yeah. Unless you suspend it from the ceiling. These are 2.4. I'm not suspending anything from that ceiling. Aaron's 6 foot 6 tall. He'll kill himself. He's already at the right.

I feel for this woman because sometimes a real clash in taste over something quite large can lead to a lot of arguments. Oh, my wife's constantly saying, where do you think you put in that? That's what she says constantly. Where do you think you put in that? And I'm like, I can't see why it couldn't go on one of our many walls. And she's like, it's not going on any of the walls. Aaron's thing

is always, I'll build a shelf for it. So the whole walls of this tiny little place we're going to will just be shelf, shelf, shelves of pirate ships. Oh my god, that is so good. So we want to open up the phone lines now and take your calls and your text messages. And maybe you've been in this situation. What have

you, what has your partner made you sell? See, the joke can also be there on them because they can say you've got to get rid of it or it can't be on display. They think you're going to sell it, but no, you just put it in a cupboard somewhere. It goes in the shed. Like how much of your crap's in the ceiling or in the shed? None in the ceiling. In the shed?

Our outside room has two wardrobes in it, two like cupboards in it, full. That's where you put things to really enjoy them in. Yeah. My friend went in there. He stayed out there over summer, and he went in there and found the Iron Man mask. And so he was Iron Man, I was Darth Vader. Another mate was Boba Fett.

We rocked around in helmets for like 40 minutes, and it was great fun. Growing men. Reminded me why. How are you married to a beautiful woman, Vaughn? It's a mystery. It really is. Nobody knows.

We're talking about what your partners made you sell because maybe it was taking up too much space or maybe they just did not agree with it being a decorative piece. It's just not a bit of you. Yeah. Or maybe like your wife, Vaughn, it's all very nicely decorated. She's got a plan. It's all on theme and a lot of your stuff isn't on theme.

It doesn't go with the aesthetic. I don't have a theme. My theme is no theme. I have a bit of everything. I don't see the problem with it. At all. Even if it doesn't match, things don't match. No.

Things have got to match. Steve, what were you made to sell? My wife worked until we got married and made me sell my motorbike. Do you know what? Steve, we've heard from lots of people saying motorbikes. So, yeah, you're not the only one. What was, how long did you have it? Did it have any sentimental value?

I got it for a bargain. But, yeah, she came for a ride one day and then agreed that I'd probably kill myself on it. Yeah, that's the thing, eh? And, you know, they actually love you, it turns out. Yeah, there's a deeper investment there, I think. Yeah, they don't want to put yourself in a ditch at 100k sideways. That's not ideal of what you want from your life partner. Thanks, you call Steve.

Some text messages. Somebody else said, I made my partner sell a motorbike because the bills were starting to pile up for this motorbike. Because they're not cheap, are they? And a motorbike is sort of made to be a singular vehicle. It is quite a selfish vehicle. That's the other thing. But they said the joke's on them because six months later, he bought a 2020 Harley because he said it's brand new,

so it won't have any bills from the mechanic. Oh, my God. Just one bill at the start. He's got you there. I feel that woman's pain. My partner made me sell my 10th, another motorbike out of the garage. Joke's on her because after two weeks there was another one in its spot but I told her it's her motorbike.

Oh, I see. Right. Does she ride? Well, it doesn't sound like it. No. It doesn't sound like it at this stage. Somebody else said they also recently purchased a ship. So, because your partner Aaron recently purchased quite a large decorative ship.

Very large. Actually, you got a bit fizzed on that. You jumped straight on the shipwreck traders Facebook page. See, you were telling me there is enough shippy stuff, collectibles, that an entire shop can exist? Yeah, and it's a two-storied shop as well. It's in two parts downstairs. You go upstairs and there's more.

And it's just model ships? No, no, there's heaps. No, no, there's swords. I'm looking now at the cutlasses. Like the pirate sword, the pirate pistols. Do they do cannons? Yes. They do cannons?

Yes, I can see three cannons in one of these. And they do genuine cannonballs from ye olde days. Oh, my God. We simply must. Next time we're in Wellington, we simply must. A cannonball would be great doorstop. It would be. But he didn't buy a cannonball.

He bought a pirate ship. There's so many pirate ships. There's porthole windows that you can buy and cut a circular hole in a perfectly good wall at home. And you too could have a ship window at home. Far out. You are fizzed on this. I'm very, heck, I would never get to the store or my house is going to become nautical themed.

I do have a theme now. It's nautical. I will mention they do do gift vouchers. So, Sade, if you want to get a gift voucher for Shipwreck Traders and Petone. Vaughan's birthday is only weeks away. Oh, my God. And we could sail home on the spirit of adventure. Yeah, you'll tell everybody about that.

Now, I've got too nautically themed, have I? Okay. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's moly, moly, moly, moly, Molly. Polly, Molly, Molly, Molly. Come on! Molly, Molly is where we ask you a bunch of questions on Instagram stories. We generally make it one or the other so you can vote.

Yeah. And then we give you the percentages. And more people take part in these surveys than those surveys where they were like, we asked 2,000 Americans. Yeah. Way more. Thousands.

It's better than a Colmar Brunton poll, Hayley. Very precise. I'm putting all my trust into this. I should do this at Colmar. Colmar Brunton should ask us to do things. Do some questions for them. So our first question was, do you usually make a New Year's resolution? A majority, a large majority said no.

78% of people do not make New Year's resolutions. That surprises me. It does. Because I would have thought most people have at least one or two things. They're like, this year I'm going to do better at this. Yeah, you might not declare it as my New Year's resolution is, but you always go, oh, next year I'm going to try to be, or I'm going to try to do this.

Well, somebody replied saying, I usually, I always do a word of the year that I try to live by a little bit more. And this year the word is responsibility. Oh, okay. Is that someone that doesn't take a lot of responsibility? Yeah. I haven't chosen that word.

I thought you meant a word that they try to sort of crowbar into every conversation. Yeah. A word that they didn't know the meaning of and then they heard it once and now they're going to use it all the time. I was actually pontificating the same thing the other day.

That's during my time pontificating also. If you wanted to make a change, you can do it any time of the year. Angry face was one reply. No, you can't. It's fair. Everyone knows Jan first. It's a fair call, but you don't need to be that person.

You don't start a diet on a Thursday. You start on a Monday. Yeah. Or you might push it out to Tuesday. Yeah, yeah. But then Tuesday's taco Tuesday, so push it out to Wednesday. I've got a barbecue Friday. We'll start on Wednesday.

Oh, okay. Let's just do it next Monday. February. Okay. Oh, but why tangi? Oh. March. Oh, but then Easter.

Easter's coming. Yeah, Easter's coming. What about a winter diet? No, it's hard to in winter because you need that comfort food because it's cold and you can't go outside as much. Yeah, but then summer comes around. Okay, I'm going to get a summer bod September. Yes.

It's my birthday October though. Do you know what? You know how I love to eat at Guy Fawkes time? Yeah. Because Guy Fawkes makes me anxious. 2022, the year of the diet. Deal. Deal.

Deal. Also love yourself. Love yourself. Deal. Also love yourself. Love yourself. Deal. Yeah, exactly. And someone says, I always make a New Year's resolution. Everyone can always improve on themselves. And a New Year's a great reason to start.

Good. Okay. Have you ever given up? Have you already given up on your New Year's resolution? This was yesterday. So three weeks into 2021. 79% said no. 21% said yes, I three weeks into 2021. 79% said no. 21% said yes, I have already given up.

I wanted to be healthier in 2021, but spent the first day hungover eating leftover takeaways in bed. Yeah, that's hard though. When everyone's thing is health in the new year and you do wake up in the worst state. Yeah. So does he mean to go home?

You're like, I'm going to go for a walk. Non-olds. Mine was to learn all the flags of the world. Oh, that's cool. I did it in 21 days. Well, now what? I'm about to put them to the test on that one. Yeah, let's ring them up in March, see how they're skiting then.

Stuck there. What are you going to do for the rest of the year? Just sit around and wait for January. You can learn the... Wait to see a flag again. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yep, and this is why people don't make them.

This is what somebody said. Yeah, okay. Do you usually succeed at your New Year's resolutions? 23% of people said yes. 77% said no. 77%. Yeah. Was your New Year's resolution to be healthier? 53% of people said yes. 47%

said no. Now, healthier, we didn't say what sort of health. And someone said, this year I am very much concentrating on my mental health being in a better state. Beautiful. And somebody else said,

one year no gear. Oh, okay. For their health. Do they mean sports gear? Do they mean nose clams? Maybe. Julia, you managed to keep a New Year's resolution for an entire year. Oh, yeah, I sure did.

Okay, was it a healthy eating one? Absolutely not. Okay, good, good. What was it? I don't know. Just to wear matching pyjamas all year. Every night. Do you have multiple sets of pyjamas?

Well, you know, when you put one in the wash, I put another one on. Yeah, but how many pairs of pyjamas do you have? Well, I have two pairs of summer pyjamas. Or maybe three pairs now. Three pairs of summer pyjamas now. And what was the motivation behind this? You were just sick of looking like Riff Raff

when you hopped into bed. Well, yeah. And also, it seemed like something I could accomplish. And I was right. You're dead right about that. Because if you set a goal that's too hard, you're setting yourself up for failure. What about this goal? I aim to

wear two socks every time I wear shoes. There you go. You're bound to win. I'm bound to win because I never have ever worn one sock. I have. But I've never really worn matching pyjamas. No, I'm not a matcher. Yeah, I love it. You've inspired me.

I've been doing it like six years now. It's great. Julia, I don't want to overstep the mark, but you've done pyjamas. Do you always wear matching sets of underwear? No. Look, I don't want to. Let's not get too out of hand. That blows my mind. My wife said women don't want to, let's not get too out of hand. Yeah. That blows my mind.

My wife said women don't have time for it. No, because you wash your bras and your undies at a different rate. You're not washing your bra every time you wear it, but you should be washing your undies every time. Yeah. Exactly. Jury's out. We'll agree to disagree on how often we should be washing our undies.

That's your one-piece underwear privilege talking. We've got two on the roll. Flesh, fauna, Megan, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. I've got a theme tune. Okay. I'm excited.

Gay stingrays. This is a spin-off to Gay Penguins. Yeah. You did well there, I will say, from my vocal coaching background. That wasn't bad. You missed it at the start, but you slid into it, and I think that's okay. Would you like to demonstrate, maybe? Would you like to do it?

Yeah. Seeing as you have a vocal training. Oh, no, now I'm on display. Hasting rays. That was actually beautiful. That was pretty good. That's what it's meant to sound like. I was trying to do it in Vaughan's voice in a man's sort of time.

So you took on character as well. I don't need to show us up here. I don't have to remind you where to drum school. There is a... You have mentioned it every day on the show so far. Every day you've mentioned that. Because that degree cost me $40,000. That's why I bring that up.

And the IRD wants their payment, don't they? Oh, they want their payment. Can anyone else get a letter from IRD this week? Yep. Far out. Leave me alone. It's January. So I only learned over summer that we've got two sorts of native rays in New Zealand.

We've got the stingray, which you're probably familiar with, round. Yeah, because I was at the beach and I saw one in the shallow water, so I put a story up and someone was like, that's not a stingray, it's a... Eagle ray. Yeah. Because it had a head. Idiot. Because I saw something in the waves at the beach and I was like, oh, it's a stingray.

But then I got closer, I was like, that's got a little heady bit. And then I Googled it and that's an eagle ray. Right. So, fascinating story from Auckland's Kelly Tarltons, which used to be a sewage processing plant. There you go. Next time you go there, you're like, I've never been. This is where they used to process the pearls

and pump it straight into the harbour. And then that was round the pond. PC madness. I think mum and dad took us when we were like 11 or 12 or something. And I've never been since and I've always wanted to go, but it's real expensive. Yeah, it's not cheap. We should go as a little team building thing.

It's one of the hop on, hop offs for the bus though, isn't it? Right, okay. 14 things to see. So there's two female eagle rays there at Kelly Tarleton's, Nibble and Spot. Yeah.

And yeah, I didn't like the names either. Nibble, I don't know either Nibble I don't know Nibble and Spot And they're lesbians Um No they're Two females Yeah

And they have A given birth to pups They both had pups At the same time Right But you Why have you called this Lesbian stingrays

Because The segment You've called it What do you call that That's clickbait You clickbaited us. What, two friends are pregnant at the same time? They're not gay. That live in the same house.

Right. Oh, right. They haven't told Nana, but, you know, the rest of us are reading between the lines. Okay, right. So how did it work? So, they have not had male eagle rays in the fish tunnel display. There's not a male eagle ray in there.

There hasn't been in there for two years. However, they do believe that these eagle rays have the ability to either store the male part of the baby making equation. What? For an extended period of time. What, two years? Yeah. At least. Yeah. And it's still good? Like it's still

decent? Well, the babies are okay. They can't read or anything yet, but they're only babies, so we can't test that until later on. What if they've got like a pouch or something? Yeah, that they can store it from. Like a little stingray steamer. Or. No, like. Well, you wouldn't want to leak.

You'd put it in your bag and you go around a corner and it leaks. stingray steamer. Or. No, like. Well, you wouldn't want to leak. God, imagine that. No. You put it in your bag and you go around a corner and it leaks. No, no, you want that sealed tight. We've all learned that from a coleslaw

in the work bag, haven't we? Oh, we have. Or it happened through a process called parthenogenesis, which is a very rare process which an embryo develops without fertilization.

Wow. Or they could have been storing it. Like an immac embryo develops without fertilisation. Wow. Or they could have been storing it. Like an immaculate conception. Oh my God, these babies are Jesus. It's Jesus 1 and 2. Jesus Stingray. Wow. Jesus Stingray sounds like a good name for a metal band.

I'm just throwing that out there. Christian metal band. Yeah. You'd be very confused as to why your female Stingrays were all of a sudden having babies. All of a sudden had pups. Yeah. Wow.

That is a miracle. So, yeah, they're in there and they've got a pup each now. So it's almost like they just decided they were going to do this together. Maybe they did a bit of IVF adoption in the middle of it. They just didn't know. Yeah, or the drop kick stingray dad abandoned them, but they both had this thing, so they just started to do it together.

Wow. But there's some cute little stingray pups there. They're going to go apparently in the turtle bay exhibit until they're old enough to get back in there. Right. Get in the big pond. Do the sharks eat them? Orcas eat them.

Orcas love. Stingrays and eggerays are like orca crack. Yeah. If you ever see them at orcas in a harbour, they've come in on the hunt for rays to eat. A little chew on a stingy. Oh, yeah. Nice.

Put that bit out. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. We were going to talk about something else, but it changed when we heard this. Fletch said, okay, how much would you put in in this situation? And then reads me the situation. He got an email.

Somebody's got engaged. Yes, I got a group message about an engagement. And they're like, put in some money. Here's the bank account, which is great. It's fine. But they've given a big. They've given a window. They've given a window of donation, which is great. It's fine. But they've given a big- They've given a window.

They've given a window of donation, which is fine because- So it was like put in maybe $30 or $50 depending on what you can afford. Oh, okay. So it's a real whatever you can afford. I appreciate a window because they could just say put in what you can afford. But then what if I put in 30 and then they're like, well, he should have put in 40 or 50. You're going to be judged

heavily by the person putting this together on how much you put in. You've got to put in the biggest amount. In fact, you should probably put in a bit more. If they say 30 to 50, you go 60. Yeah. You go 60. But they didn't say 60 in the message. No, but it's outside the window.

It's boss and you look like a good dude and it makes up for the fact that you're not. And they're not. 60. I was thinking 40. Oh, you're just a middler. I was going to go middle of the range. See, I'd rather be told we're all putting in 50.

We're all putting in 40. Yeah, I understand that. Then it's all good because now I feel the pressure. So that extra $10 that you're refusing to give to your friends that are in love, they're going to celebrate their lives together. What are you going to do with it? Why do you need it so desperately? Yeah.

See, David Seymour, how I'm looking at this, and you think everybody should be paying a flat tax rate over here. Yeah, yeah. How I look at it is if you can afford to give more, and you think everybody should be paying a flat tax rate over here. Yeah, yeah. How I look at it is if you can afford to give more, which you can, you should. I should, right, okay. Yeah, you should definitely be giving the maximum or the upper end. Don't middle it. You're not the middle guy.

You've got a very public job. I have put in so much into weddings, and I would say 60% of them are divorced now. And you do not get a refund. No, you don't get a refund. No. No one's going to look at you like you're an a-hole for the rest of you. Okay, what about if I put in $47.95? No, what are you doing $47.95 for?

Because I like to do odd amounts. What about $49.98? $48.98. What about $55.55? Those are.98. What about $55.55? There's all fives. That's nice. Yeah. Or $54.32.

No, but that's still more than $50. Yeah, that's why I'm saying it. What is your moral issue with $5 here, $10 there? Because it adds up. How many times are you asked to do this? Very rarely. Very rarely. It adds up at a glacial base. You've got to do $50.

$49.97. The person organising it works here. You can't... He doesn't want to put in $50. When you open the window you were expecting him to be up across. $47.95 be acceptable? That's not going to be good enough.

Oh, it's just going to be a bit awkward to write on the card, eh, with the extra numbers at the end. Wait, hang on. Wait a minute. Are you not analysing how much money every person's running in? Fletch, $47. If it's analysing, you've got to put in $100. You've got to do at least $100.

What's it you're going to say in a card? Here's the money we've raised for your... No, no, no, but they'll say, they'll give them an amount, like you'll give them an amount, right, and you'll say, we have collected together $500 and 97 cents. And then your friends are going to go, who was it?

And it was me. Who was it? Yeah. And it's you. I don't, yeah. So it's got to be an even amount. Preferably, but hey, like you do what you want. 49. But it's still going to be $500 and $9. So it's got to be an even amount. Preferably, but hey, like, you do what you want. $49. But it's still going to be $500 and $9. This isn't going towards a gift. This is going, you're just going to give them cash.

Towards something that they can use, like, for the event, yeah. Will they give us receipts for the spend? Hang on. So, but that's the other awkward thing. How do we know they're not going to buy a car with it or a dinner? What does it matter what they spend it on? You can't give people money on the proviso.

You don't control how money is spent once it leaves your hand. It's partly my money. If you're going to give them cash because of you, it's going to be cash and some coins. You can't do that for an engagement present. They can't take coins into two cheap cars. No.

We want the latest Mazda. We've got some coins. I'll decide off here how much I'm going to... As soon as you do it, we'll be sharing that. I want to see your bank transaction showing how much. I'll ask Celia. She'll tell me. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

Friday Flashback. But it is a Friday tradition. And with Hayley Sproul in for Megan on maternity leave, we thought you could kick it off for 2021. It's an age-old tradition for anyone new to the show like yourself, Hayley. We pick a song. We take a turn. It's got to be at least 10 years old and a banger

okay and now because it is 2021 2011 has opened up a whole new world of songs I know

which also don't feel that old no some of them I looked up a 2011 playlist last weekend and it blew my mind

that some of these songs are 10 years old I know there's only like 3 or 4 as soon as I was tasked with doing this I started thinking back

to the 1970s and I looked at this list and I thought was that 10 years old. I know. I'm just going to go like 3 or 4. As soon as I was tasked with doing this I started thinking back to the 1970s and I looked at this list and I thought, was that 10 years ago? Yeah. So I've chosen a song. Shall I tell you about it? Yes, please. It was released in 2011. It peaked at number 3 in the US charts. It won Best Video at the VMAs in 2011.

It's been covered by Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez and even Kendall Jenner and it made a couple of young girls very famous on The Ellen Show. It is, of course, Nicki Minaj, Super Bass. This is 10 years old. 10 years old. Wow. All right, it's your Friday flashback.

Nicki Minaj on CDM. with the coolest system when he come up in the club he be blazing up got stacks on deck like he's saving up and he ill he real he might gotta live he pop bottles and he got the right kind of bill he cold he dope he might sell coke he always in the air but he never fly couch he a mother drip drip seller on a ship ship when he make a drip drip kiss him on a lip lip that's the kind of dude i was looking for and yes you'll get slapped if you're looking home i said excuse me you're a hell of a guy i mean my mind you're like pelican fly i mean you're so shy and i'm loving your tie you're like slicker than the guy With the thing on his eye, oh Yes I did, yes I did

Somebody please tell him who the F I is I am Nicki Minaj, I match them dudes up Back hoops up and chop the dudes up Boy, you got my heart feeling running away Beating like a drum and it's coming your way Can't you hear that boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom He got that super bass Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, for American guys I mean, sigh, sickening eyes I can tell that you're in touch with your feminine side Yes I did, yes I did

Somebody please tell them who the F I is I am Nicki Minaj, I match them dudes up Fat coops up and chug the deuce up Oh you got my heart beat running away Beating like a drum and it's coming your way Can't you hear that boomer, boomer, boomer, boomer, boomer He got that super bass Boomer, boomer, boomer, boomer, boomer Yeah that's that super face Yeah, that's that super face Super face, super face

Super face, super face Super face, super face Super face You got that super face Yeah, that's that super face See, I need you in my life for me to stay No, no, no, no, no, I know you'll stay No, no, no, no, no, no, no way

Oh, you got my heartbeat burning away Could you hear that heartbeat coming your way? Oh, it be like boom, ba-dum,boom-boom-a-dum-boom-bap Can't you hear that boom-a-dum-boom-boom-a-dum-boom-bap? Girl, you got that heartbeat running away Beating like a drum and it's coming your way Can't you hear that boom-a-dum-boom-boom-a-dum-boom-bap? He got that super bass

Boom-a-dum-boom-boom-a-dum-boom-bap Yeah, that's that super bass Boom-bap, boom-bap, boom-bap It's Nicki Minaj, Super Bass. It's your Friday flashback on CDM 12 minutes past eight. Most of the feedback agree, great song, but can't believe it's 10 years old. Can't believe it's 10 years since that song was released. So many songs. For a lot of Adele's songs, her first songs are 10 years old. 10 years is basically a third of my life.

I'm 31. Yeah. There's like nine year olds Who were conceived To the music Or it may have been On their parents Sweet lovemaking soundtracks Well that was

Remember Sophia, Grace and Rosie On the Ellen show They sung it And went viral And went on the Ellen show All the time So they're 10 years older Than they were then

They're 10 years older So they're like 100 Leaving high school Are they 40? Probably They'll be retiring next year Yeah

But no good feedback Because if It is tradition. If you pick a clanger for Friday Flashback, you will be roasted on the text machine. But I think very good feedback. Oh, no. Good, yeah.

People aren't, they don't hold back. It was just before the show this morning that Mountie at the social media desk told us she'd had a little bit of a, there was a miscommunication between her and her partner Nick about an app on her phone. Yeah, I felt very bad. You shouldn't have felt bad. You've done nothing wrong.

In fact, the reason this app, the actual app is on your phone is a wonderful reason. Yeah. So last year I decided to treat myself and I bought an iPad with all my freelance side hustle money. Beautiful. Congratulations. Thanks so much. And I've never had two Apple products at the same time, bought an iPad with all my freelance side hustle money. Beautiful. Congratulations. Good. Well done.

Thank you so much. And I've never had two Apple products at the same time, so I didn't know that all your apps kind of... Sync up. Yeah, sync up to your other devices. And a little while ago, I gave blood for the first time. Oh, you're a hero. Hold for applause. Thank you.

Oh, wow. Thank you. Saving lives. Yep. So I downloaded the app because they give you little notifications of when your blood is used, which is so cool. And it's also on my iPad. So when Nick was using it at home the other day, he saw this out of the corner of his eye and immediately jumped to the conclusion that it was the Tinder app because it's a very similar icon. The blood drop and the flame do have a very similar aesthetic. And is it because what?

Tinder's pink, isn't it? Like a pinky colour. I think so. And what's the blood service's red? Red, yeah. So same colour scheme. Similar hue. He hits you up and is like, why are you cheating on me?

He said my heart just absolutely broke for a split second. You know that feeling? You feel cold. It's weird to describe it, but you feel cold and empty inside. And your hearing goes. Like you're about to faint. Oh, my God. But he very quickly realised that I'm not a cheater.

I'm just a hero. Wow. I'm not a cheater. Not all heroes need tapes. Saving lives over here. So you weren't on Tinder. You were donating blood. Yes.

That could be used to help other people. We thought with this wires cross situation, we'd take some calls this morning and ask if you've ever been in the situation where you were accused of cheating because, I don't know, maybe you were out late a few times, but you were actually doing something like,

I don't know, secretly going to the gym or you picked up a new hobby you didn't want to tell your partner about. Giving an elderly woman a ride home. Oh, just the ride home. Just because she's old. How old?

Don't flip it on me. Is she like Helen Mirren old? She's like 65, you know what I mean? She knows her way around. All right. She says some things. But yeah, so have you been in that situation where the wires have been crossed?

When did somebody think you were cheating? But you weren't. And maybe there was... I know a couple of guys around the time that they're about to propose to their partner, they get pretty secretive because obviously you've got to start squirrelling money away if you want to buy a ring and not have them know about it

and you might be spending some time doing things and you might be protective of your phone because it might have the details on it I know some guys whose partners have got really angry with them in the lead up to the engagement You can see why because it's an instant change of habit They don't normally leave their phone unattended. Or hiding their bank account

every time they're looking like this. So it could have been completely innocent. So when did somebody think you were cheating, but you weren't? You had a perfectly valid reason. We are talking about when your partner thought you were cheating, but you weren't cheating.

There's a perfectly good explanation, but they may have drawn the conclusion that you were cheating. Mountie at the social media desk, her partner Nick saw the icon on her phone for the New Zealand Blood Service. Just like a drop. A drop, yeah. And thought it was the Tinder flame icon.

Yeah. Somebody's message, they work for the New Zealand Blood Service. Many people have asked us to change our app icon for that exact reason. Because it gives it a few... It looks heaps like Tinder. And if you were looking at someone's phone like just glancing, you would at a... You'd just go, hmm.

You'd just be like, why on Tinder? Thought you had a husband. They said it's an easy way for us to get an extra donor because their partner site will find Proveit then and they go along to give blood and then they end up giving blood too. That's their plan? Literally, the New Zealand Blood Service is milking us dry. i love that uh it's way to get the extra people going there that's good uh william when did somebody think you were cheating but you weren't

um well it's my current girlfriend i uh went to go have a look at a car one evening so i didn't end up replying to her for a good two three hours hours. And yeah, when I saw her that evening, she was very suspect as to why I wasn't replying. And I had to, well, I said I was seeing some friends and then I had to kind of, she didn't believe me and she's getting more and more suspicious. So I had to slowly say, I was like, I went to have a look at a car. She didn't believe me. So I had to tell her the truth that I went and bought a car in secret without her knowing. So were you doing that to surprise her or?

She didn't want you to buy a new car? No, because it's just an old American piece of crap. So she was not happy about it. Okay, how did that, did that car end up costing a lot of money, William? No, I got it quite cheap. So I'm happy about it, but she's not. Would you think she would rather you were cheating on her because then she could get out of the relationship and she wouldn't have to have these old American cars around anymore?

Considering there's like four cars now sitting in the driveway, yeah, probably. She's not itching for you to cheat on her, so she's got an out. Thanks for your call, William. Laura, when did somebody think you were cheating, but you weren't? Good morning. It was years ago, and my boyfriend came over to my house, and I saw on his phone that he had text an unknown number, and he said, hey, sorry, I can't talk.

I'm going to Laura's house. Oh. And there was no other messages, and I hit him up about it. I was like, who is this? And he was like, I don't know. Wait, how did you, did you, can I just ask, how did you see that message? Oh, I think he was just holding his phone and it came up. Oh, okay, right.

I wasn't like snooping. And what was your tone when you said, what is this? Was it, hey, what's this? Or was it more, I mean, how is this? Oh, no, it was like, I was just like, what's this? Or was it more, what the hell is this? No, it was just like, who is this? Anyway, and he was like, I don't know. And I was like, how do you not know? You just texted him half an hour ago.

And he denied it and denied it. So I ended up making him call the number. And it was his grandma. How did he forget it was grandma? I don't know. He's just an idiot. But at least he's a loyal idiot. Yes, exactly.

He's your idiot. Yes. Hey, thanks for your call, Laura. Anonymous, when did somebody think you were cheating, but you weren't? Hey, so it was just like a little while ago. My partner and I were lying in bed and I got an email on my work phone from a customer that was saying that they'd made a payment

against their account. And my partner turned around and he said to me, he was like, what's that email? So I tried to explain it to him and he thought I'd started an OnlyFans and that I was getting a payment for photographs. Wow, that's a big accusation with not a lot of evidence, really, is it? I know. It was just like, you know,

because I was looking through the emails and he just quickly saw it and I thought it was the first thing that popped into his head. Yeah. But after I sent him the email, we kind of cleared it up. I've got questions about the guy

that immediately jumps to the thought that his girlfriend has started an OnlyFans account. That sounds to me like a guy who has subscribed to an OnlyFans account. That sounds to me like a guy who has subscribed to an OnlyFans account. Did you turn it back around and say, well, what do you know about OnlyFans? Oh, no, no.

It's been like a joke, you know, like we've joked about it in the past because, yeah, so it was just a complete misunderstanding, but it was really funny when he thought that. I mean, yeah, take the compliment. Yeah. I would. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Hey. I would. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Exactly. Hey, thanks for your call, Anonymous. Some text messages. Somebody said, my fiance has really vivid dreams about me cheating on her and she wakes up and she's really angry in the morning and will think it's actually happened for like the first five minutes. Yeah, I've had that before.

Yeah, I get that. And then once they know that it was just a dream, it's still not over. I know because the image is ingrained in your brain like it's happened. You remember it, you saw it, and you're like, we didn't do anything. I don't want to fight. I just want to remind everybody we didn't do anything.

That was your brain that did that. Yeah. Not us. That's you. I accused my man of cheating on me when I found some cheap, tacky jewellery in our bed. I was furious. In the bed.

In the bed. Oh, yeah, okay. You'd be angry. How rigorous is your lovemaking that your jewellery is falling off? Just falling off. I'm jewels out of the jewellery. The next day I caught sight of myself in the mirror after the shower and I realised my belly button piercing had fallen out.

So that tacky jewellery was indeed my tacky jewellery. Oh, God. You jerk. Wow. I thought my boyfriend was cheating on me as he got super weird and secretive with his phone. So I broke into his phone when he was passed out drunk. Turned out he'd sent an engagement ring to his mum in the UK

in preparation for our trip there and customs had nabbed it and were demanding massive amounts of money for it to be released because they thought it was brand new and there hadn't been a tax paid on it. Oh. Yeah. Oopsie-daisy.

Still regret it as it completely ruined the surprise for myself. Oh. Yeah. My partner thought I was cheating because I was always busy Friday nights and Saturday afternoons. I wasn't. I was just reliving my teenage youth and playing Magic the Gathering when I was in my

late 20s. It's the cards. It's like you sit down and you're like prosperity spell. And shame to play that is something, isn't it? You should be ashamed. She probably cheated on you. Flesh, Fawn and Megan. The Podcast.

ZM. Fact of the day. Day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. I got the top bit. You got the first half. Baby steps. Yeah. Yeah, baby steps.

Because the rest of it doesn't make any sense. Carry on. Today's fact of the day is about a, I just learned this. Okay. I learned this from a podcast that I love called 99% Invisible. It's about design and stuff in the made world. You told me to listen to this. There's certain episodes that are like fans.

Some of them are like really in-depth, nerdy stuff and some of them are just like super palatable, really interesting. Okay. This is about, have you ever heard of the term

pole of inaccessibility? No. So this is, every country has one. It's the furthest part in that country, the furthest point rather, from the ocean. Oh, right.

What's our one? So I tried searching for the New Zealand Pole of Inaccessibility, but it's like we're so coastal that the only ones that have really ever been done for New Zealand is like the Pole of Inaccessibility from our roads. Oh.

And that's just north of Queenstown in Mount Aspiring National Park. Right. But if it was like from the sea, it would be somewhere in the north. Central North Island. Yeah. That's what I was thinking.

This says here Garston is, is that right? Garston? Is the most inland. How do I spell Garston? G-A-R-S-T-O-N, Southland. Oh yeah, because it gets quite fat at the bottom of the South Island,

doesn't it? It gets quite wide. It's fat at the bottom. We've got a real bootay on New Zealand. Yeah. You think it's over. A bit of a road cone island, that one. Blows out.

Okay, I can actually see that. I've clicked on that. Is that right? The road from Invercargill to Queenstown. Yeah. And that's a pole of inaccessibility. It might be because actually, you know what about the central North Island? Hawke's Bay cuts in.

Oh yeah, because Taranaki goes out. Hawke's Bay is our cinched in waste. We've got a real hourglass figure. Yeah, and then we blow out at the bottom. Beautiful. Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur. That sort of situation going on in this beautiful country. Who's the boots with the fur?

Stuart Island. Stuart Island. And Auckland Island's the boots of the fur? Stewart Island. Yeah. And Auckland Island. Little boots. And the Chathams. So the points of inaccessibility, the pole of inaccessibility is the furthest from the ocean.

Right. In any given land mass. Yep. And Antarctica's pole of inaccessibility, it's not exactly on the South Pole because Antarctica's not perfectly round. There's big jaggedy bits. And it also keeps breaking off. I know. It's bloody melting.

So the Pole of Inaccessibility, in the 1950s when like the war was done and like you'll remember Sir Ed conquered Everest after World War II. In the 50s there was a real exploration buzz going on. And there was also a conflict between the East and the West, like Russia versus everybody, basically. Russian explorers decided they were the first people that were going to get to the pole of inaccessibility in Antarctica. They got there. They put together a small science laboratory. And atop that science laboratory, atop the chimney,

they put a bust of Lenin. Right. The former, well, they're like the first leader of Soviet Russia. Is it still there? Is it still there? So that was taken in the 50s when it was put there. That was actually in 1965, sorry, so 10 years after. However, since, snow has built up around it.

When they originally put it there, the bust of linen was 30 foot off the ground. Now, it's almost covered. The last time somebody went there, snow was halfway up his chest. Oh, gosh. Oh, wow, okay. Which made me think, we're losing it off the side,

but we seem to be putting it up in the middle. It might be getting taller, even though the bits are falling off the side. It's like we need to get up in the middle. Yeah. It might be getting taller even though the bits are falling off the side. It's like we need to get a rolling pin, you know, like a piece of dough

and sort of roll it out to the edges. Yes. Add some strength to the edge so it's nice and even. Yeah, okay. And then the snow falls on the water

and it cools down a little bit. Boom. Have we solved global warming? I think so. You heard it here first. Someone's going to need to tell the penguins. Because when I'm bulldozing

a massive amount of snow, I'm not going to be able to stop or see the penguins. They're going to need to tell the penguins. Because when I'm bulldozing a massive amount of snow, I'm not going to be able to stop or see the penguins. They're going to need a... Is it possible to get Greta on the phone and we could take it up with her? She could put them on a boat. She'd know. She would know. She'd know.

She'd get it done. So today's fact of the day is if you want to see it, you better get going. Because it's probably already under snow. But at the Pole of Inaccessibility in Antarctica, there is a bust of the man that founded the communist state of the, you know, USSR, Lenin. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast

It's time for Yummy Yummy But play the other song now Do you want Yeah By the way this is This is just a good song this is just a good song. It's just a good song. This is just...

Hey, hey. Who's there? It's a good song. It is a good song. So, Yummy Yummy, our segment of the show where we take a look at new food items or trends or products that are about to launch and the word is out.

Home-grown goodies here. And two are becoming one. are about to launch and the word is out. Homegrown goodies here. And two are becoming one. But you needed to hit that when it actually gets to the chorus. Any idea how far into this we're going? It's quite a one. I'll give it a five. We've got the rest of the verse,

a bit of a bridge. Get it on, get it on. I was eight when I was singing this. Now here it comes. Oh, okay. It's where? To become one. I need some love like I never needed love before.

Beautiful harmonising. Got some driving to do today. I can feel the Spice Girls. Really? Coming up. Wow. Okay. Picks peanut butter, which is great peanut butter.

We've been to the factory. Have you? Yes. It's a very popular thing to do. It's a stunning nut butter. Don't want to Skype, but when've been to the factory. Have you? Yes. It's a very popular thing to do. It's a stunning nut butter. Don't want to Skype, but when we went to the factory, they gave me two of their very limited edition wooden peanut butter spoons.

And the Prime Minister went and she got no spoons. Yes, suck it, Jacinda. Suck it. You know, I might not be on Time Magazine's Most Important People. Oh, I wasn't put up on the side of the Burj Khalifa. But he's got two spoons. One for each hand.

A real win for you. That's a huge win. Got to take them when you can get them. So Perks Peanut Butter has teamed up with Whittaker's to make a peanut and chocolate butter. When two became one. Described as a peanut slab, which they can say because peanut slabs belong to Whittakers. Oh, my God.

A peanut slab in a jar. That would be amazing. When is this coming out? Next week by the looks of it. It will be available in New World and Pack and Save. I can't wait that long. I'm going to try to make some tonight. 25th of Jan.

I'm going to get some picks and some Whittakers. You probably could. Melt it. Put it in a jar. It won't be the same though. It'll be one of those ones where something comes out

and your mum's like, you don't need to buy that. I can make that at home. And then she gets home and makes some horrible concoction of two things. She's like, well I've made it now. It's got to be eaten.

Well, there you go. You're trying to put it in the bin and your dad's like, don't put that in the bin. I'll eat it later. So that's one thing to look forward to next week. Yummy, yummy. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

Well, it's on tonight. Hagley over. We've just given away the tickets. You can still grab tickets. $49 for adults, $15 for kids. But if you can't make it to the game, you can watch it free to air. TV One from 6.30. So it'll be a shorter news tonight.

And it's live and free to air. This is how important this match is. They never cut the news short. Cut the news. Team Rugby versus Team Cricket. And joining us on the phone from Team Rugby, Israel Dagg. Hello. Good morning, team. How are we?

Good. Are you match ready? Have you been hitting the nets? I've had a wee net session. I'm pretty sore, to be honest. Got a bit of a size change, sore lower back. But nah, I've had one net session. I'll probably get one in in about an hour's time and then

that'll be enough preparation for the game. Because, I don't want to bring this up, but last year, just looking at the scorecard, Israel Dagg, bold Vittori for zero. A duck. I know. I've been getting so much spirk. My dad, everyone's been getting into me. I can't get a duck.

I just want to get that on board. I've got one to bring in McCullen's old bat, so hopefully I can actually use it this year and get some runs but yeah don't bring it up mate it's redemption hour for you so even if you get one run this year you'll be happy

yeah one run I'm happy I feel like I've won the World Cup so I'm all for it but it's such a cool event I love it so I'm looking forward to it can't wait

and even those that I've heard don't normally like cricket or get into it, it is a fun watch because it's not taking too serious. Like, people want to win. The players want to win, but it's not too serious, is it? It's a good laugh. It's a good laugh, but deep down we're all competitors and we want to win. And knowing the cricketers, I play a bit of golf with Fleming

and McMillan. Just their competitive nature on the golf course. I know they're going to want to win. I heard Jacob Rorham's done a podcast talking about it, and he's given us a bit of stick. He probably brought up the duck as well, just like you brought up. I'm sure there's going to be a lot of heckling out there about my duck. So it'll be good.

So in team rugby, you've got Geordie Barrett can really he's an all rounder he's insane he's so talented he's a brilliant cricketer yeah he's a bit of a freak old Geordie he's pretty quick at bowling

he can bat Will Jordan I think is pretty good as well he's playing for us and then Andy Ellis he probably could have played a lot of cricket

when he was growing up as well so we're just some talent where did you guys get the time to ever even learn how to play cricket when you were playing so much rugby? Like, growing up as a kid, you're like, I'm going to be an All Black. I'll just play a bit of cricket on the side.

Oh, when you're at school, you know, when we should have been in class. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say, did you skip maths? Yeah. We were like, maybe we can play cricket because it takes all day and we might not get out of class all day so we'll do that.

Summer, winter. And Mark, Alice is in the team this year in team rugby. Oh, he's all about our culture. He's bringing a lot of, you know,

things that can just really nail down our culture, our environment and things like that. Everyone that knows Mark, I know he's a bloody great guy. So what you're saying is he's not very good

at cricket, but he's good at the culture. To be honest, I don't know about his cricket. That's why I'm just going to pump him up

You're padding. You're padding with his, he brings the banter, he brings the chat. That was really well done. Yeah. Well, that's the thing, you're mic'd up.

So chat and banter is an important part of the game too. Yeah, 100%. I might get him mic'd up. He'd be bloody great value for a TV. He'd be good. And I saw Jimmy Nashem as well.

You might have seen he had the finger injury. He's going to be umpiring with Billy Bowden, so there'll be two wonky fingers. Oh, dear. For the outs and the sixes. No, I'm quite happy he's umpiring, mate. He would have been putting us all out of the boundary. So, yeah, be good to see him out there with Jimmy Nashem. Legion. Hey, well, I'm quite happy he's umpiring, mate. He would have been putting us all over the boundaries. So, yeah, because it's the old generation, legion.

Hey, well, super excited. If you're in Christchurch, you can head along to Hagley Oval this afternoon. Tickets are on sale at blackclash.co.nz. $49 for adults, $15 for kids plus fees. But it is live and free to air on TVNZ1 and kicking off from 6.30 this evening. Izzy, Dag, good luck and good luck getting more than a duck. Go team 1. You can't get less than a duck.

Well, that's true. It couldn't be any worse. You can. You can get a golden duck. Yeah. You can get a golden duck. That's fair. Well, you jinxed it.

You said it. So we can't be blamed if that happens.