ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 22nd May 2020

Episode Date: May 21, 2020

Top 6 - The Pash Police  Producer Jared's Ant Update  I Know I'm Not the Only One  Fletch got mail  Am I a Bad Person?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to the Fletch, Fawn and Megan podcast. All thanks to McCafé. Get a delicious barista-made coffee from Macca's drive-thru today. ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Fawn and Megan. The podcast.

Friday morning! Good morning! And Megan has brought in... It's my Friday flashback. It is. I was going to say, you brought in home baking. Yes. Now, this was what was on your gram last night, wasn't it?

Yeah, it's Whanganui slice, but it's usually made with caramel. We put a little bit of peanut butter in the caramel. Interesting take. It's not a massive peanut butter thing. That could be an anaphylactic Whanganui slice. That's right, because when I first met you, you were allergic to peanuts. Wasn't that mystery sign of I didn't know whether or not. Yeah, to dabble. But, um.

Well, we don't have an EpiPen. No, no, no, I'm done now. He's fine now. Oh, God, man, you should see me. Demolish a Pix. Oh. A Pix peanut butter. Yeah, I was like, you love Pix.

Yeah, I love Pix. That's good peanut butter. And you should see me bloody gob a peanut slab straight in. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like an anaconda, baby. Yeah, peanut slabs, good stuff. Yeah, that's good. You can see it side on in your throat.

Yeah, and I go. I like to challenge myself every time I eat. God, I haven't had a peanut slab for eight. Do you know what? They only ever eat them tramping when I go tramping. Oh, really? They always sell them in a three-pack at Mitre 10. And when you're waiting in the line, I'm always like, oh, yeah, great.

And then I eat one and I chuck two in the car. It's such a tradie chocolate bar. It is. For some reason. Because it looks like a brick. If it's really girthy, it's really like quite like a masculine, girthy. Because you can't be on the job, on the work site eating a perky nana. It melts too quick.

Oh, right. Can you imagine trying to deal with the delicateness of a flake on the work site? Or a pinky even. Or a crunchy, yeah. A pinky would flop up. Yeah. Right, okay. Yeah, crunchy would shatter

and you'd lose the chocolate while you're nibbling it off the outside. But peanuts later, they're robust. You just take big grunty bites. Yeah. Then you can just gobble it down

and get back on the tools. Yeah. We can put it in the pie. Now I want one. They're great. Well, you can have some and we slice. Almond gold?

Yeah, because they've got the almonds in. They're like a bougie you can have some and we slice. Almond gold? Yeah, because they've got the almonds in. They're like a bougie version. All right, coming up on the show, the top six Vaughan Smith. Yes, the Pash Police will be out.

Bars are open now. Bars are open, but they don't want you smooching random. So I've got the top six types of pashing. The Pash Police will be putting a stop to it.

Are you writing this in your notebook today, not the laptop? I may have clicked update my software. And thus I will be going old school. I knew something was up. Yep. It's just shutting down all the other programs that it can't have open while it updates.

Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Coldest place in the country right now, minus 5.8. Waiuru. Waiuru. country right now, minus 5.8. Waiuru. Waiuru. 5.8, minus 5.8. It's a good sign, though, when the central North Island's the coldest. But there's no moisture in the air to create snow.

Yeah. So. If there was. Are you giving us a meteorological rundown? I know. I always like when it's the central North Island that's the coldest. Right. It's a different sort of cold. Yeah. It's a meteorological rundown. I know. I always like when it's a central North Island that's the coldest. Right. It's a different sort of cold.

Yeah. It's bloody freezing. A survey has been done into how we spend our time in level four lockdown. This was, as soon as I tell you who it was done by, you're going to get the gist of this. Okay. It was done by Adult Toy Megastore. Oh, yes. I made a purchase of them during lockdown.

Did you? Yep. What did you buy? The Satisfyer during lockdown. Did you? What did you buy? The Satisfyer Pro 2. Did you? And how have you found that? I haven't seen it a lot. No, it's after all the rave reviews.

No, you can't hear it when you're playing Fortnite in the lounge with your headphones on. But hey, shit, that's fine by me. No, after all the rave reviews, a friend of mine who shall remain nameless

says she almost passed out the first time she used it. Can you mouth who that was? Oh, yeah, I talked to her. She just told me that. I mean, she'd tell you if you were here. She'd tell you guys if she was here. She doesn't work for us anymore. She doesn't work for us anymore. I should have just guessed. She doesn't work for us anymore.

Don't go into detail. She said she felt like, you know that thing you did at high school where you put your arms across your chest and you breathe heavily and then someone picked you up and you went. You couldn't, yeah, muster the strength to stand. Has there ever been an adult toy like this that has got so much? I'm not that I am aware of. The Womanizer

is very similar concept. The Womanizer was talked about, but this thing's across the board. Like, I've mentioned it in passing.

Yeah. And women want to talk about it. Really? Like, I've never seen that before in the, in the sex toy game.

Which is a changing game. Like, I made a joke about one at a filming of Have You Been Paying Attention? Now, it didn't make the cut because it. Which is a changing game. I made a joke about one at a filming of Have You Been Paying Attention? Now, it didn't make the cut because it was on at 7.30. Mind you, it's 6.10 now

and look at us go. But, and then just the whole show kind of stopped and everybody talked about it for like five minutes. Really? Until the director was like,

can we get back to the show we're making? Wow, okay. I was like, hold on. What does that say about the men of New Zealand? Yeah, Vaughn. Because mine's not out of the box. I'm just, I honestly put it in there.

Well, you're not supposed to put it in. No. It's for the outside. Because I got given one and I haven't. That was gross. I regret saying it. But you've been so satisfied that you haven't yet need to. But that's the thing.

It's not at the cost of Mr. Toyboy. It's just additional. Right. Well, I don't have that much time on my hands. If you're ready to level up. Queen's birthday weekend, I reckon. You've got a long weekend of recovery time. But is it sad that that's leveling up?

Like, I just find it. No, it's not. God, no. It's notlling up? Like I just find it I don't know No it's not God no Spicing it up isn't it? I think you'd be you'd be pretty

insecure as a male if you felt threatened by it Well he doesn't feel threatened by it It's just No no I'm not saying he does

but I'm thinking I always thought maybe that was what you were worried about No no no You'd offend him if you were like

let's add this to the mix The repertoire Okay so The arsenal Maybe that was what you were worried about. No, no, no, no. That you'd offend him if you were like, let's add this to the mix. The repertoire. Okay, so a thousand Kiwis. Well, it's like a weapon. More than a thousand Kiwis answered a survey online. Yeah.

As to how they spent their time during lockdown level three and four. And 88% said that they had been individually having some good times alone. Oh, yeah, right. Okay, yeah. 88%. 38% said they were doing it every other day. And 16% said they were doing it every single day. How many percent every single day? 16. Those are rookie numbers. How many people were single day? 16. Those are rookie numbers.

How many people do it multiple times a day? Fletch. No, it doesn't say. Just one. Mr. C. Fletcher. Unbelievable. So rude. Not wrong though, is it? It's rude, but it's not wrong. I was living by myself. Yeah, I know. Wait, do you get toys?

What do you mean? Because girls buy AFTs, but like if you're having individual fun, do you get anything? The stigma I feel over the female adult fun toys is dissipating, and that's great. Yeah. But the stigma of that is not nearly as bad as the stigma of a male one. Right. It's about time you had something worse than us. Because of a male one. Right. It would be. It's about time you had something worse than us.

Because if a package arrived. Yeah, sure. If a package arrived and we're like, what's this? And you're like, I've bought an adult fun toy. We'd kind of be like, bleh. But then that would be it. Yeah. But if you, a package arrived for me and you're like, what's that?

I bought an adult fun toy for myself. You'd be like, ugh. And everyone here would be like, ugh. Everyone would say, it's time to be cancelled. Yeah. And I would say it's time to be cancelled. Yeah. Anna would say, time's up. Mountie would get hot ears and have to wave them. She literally just did that.

Hey, well, maybe you need to become a spokesperson for the industry. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's for your wheelhouse. Bring down the stigma. Somebody else do that stigma. I don't want to be a spokesperson for anything. I don't want to. I'm just saying. It's something I've noticed.

Okay. All right. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. It's an ad has been banned in Australia, and it is an ad featuring the first man. Of New Zealand. Yeah, Jacinda's partner, Clark Gayford. I might just be an average bloke, but trust me,

Audible really takes the hassle out of housework. Now, when he was in this ad, which was released, what, a month or two ago, did you guys see, have you watched the whole thing? So he's only in a little bit of it. Is this a Celeste Barber ad? Yeah, because he was in it with Celeste Barber. I was like, that's so cool. So it's for Audible, the podcasting app, and there's a whole lot of was in it with Celeste Barber. I was like, that's so cool. So it's for Audible, the podcasting app.

And there's a whole lot of scenarios in it. She's at the gym driving a car full of kids. It's the scene where she's in the ad with a MasterChef contestant, Poe. He opens the fridge and she's in the fridge eating like a stick of celery. Okay. Yes. That's the bit that's got the complaints in Australia, and that's what's caused the ad to be banned and pulled.

Celeste is in the fridge eating celery. So they're worried that young children seeing her in the fridge will think it's a fantastic hiding place. Right. Even though they would literally have to take all the shelves out and then shut the door, but then they'd still be able to push the door open.

It's not one of those old fridges with a latch. Yeah. But I'm just trying to think. Those were the dangerous ones. Are the ads where it's showing like dangerous things? Exactly.

Yeah. That's on the parents, isn't it? To be like, please don't hide in the fridge. So this is just being funny. That's just up to somebody complaining, it? To be like, please don't hide in the fridge. So this is just being funny. That's just up to somebody complaining, right? Like you could have a dangerous ad, but until no one complains, it's fine.

Yeah, but somebody would have been locked in a fridge as a kid and they would have been like, it was traumatic. I put my fingers in the butter and mum smacked me. And then that would have made them complain. Yeah, or they found their stupid kid trying to hide in the fridge, and so they thought they'd blame the ad rather than their poor parenting. Yes. So it has actually been pulled in a show.

Yeah, it has, but not, I don't believe here. I just really liked it that it had Clark talking about doing the housework. It was like so great. Now, she's Celeste Barber. I read this week she she's in court. Because you remember the bushfires? Do you remember the bushfires? In January.

When that was the worst thing in the world. That was this year. In January, they started. She raised, what, 50-odd million dollars. 51 million Australian dollars. And then couldn't, because she only wanted to raise a few million, didn't she? Oh, no, a few thousand.

Yeah. For her extended family and some firefighters. Ended up being $55 million. She's in court and they're arguing and trying to figure out how they're spending this money still and it's May 22nd. Yeah, that money hasn't gone anywhere. It's been sitting there. So they reckon end of this week, well now, or start of next week,

a judge in the court is going to decide how to spend those funds. So the judge is just like, okay. Because why can't they just give it to the rural fire service? I don't know. I can't remember what the deal was with that. Like all the people that needed the money because they were so hard done by are probably even more hard done by now. But they had suggestions of how to break it down and where it was going to go,

but they were told they weren't allowed to. Crazy. So it's just been sitting there. Do you reckon she's like, I wish I hadn't bothered. Absolutely. Absolutely. I think she said something along those lines, didn't she?

Yeah, because she's been absolutely trolled for it. And all she did was raise a lot of money. A lot of money, yeah. All right, next on the show, the top six. Yeah, the Pash Police are going to be out. Bars are back open. They could be shut again if no one behaves, but the police will be stopping you from pashing.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. The Pash Police will be out this weekend to stop Kiwis hooking up in bars when they reopen. They reopened yesterday, officially. Yeah, I walked past one and I was like, what's that doing open? Whoa!

And then I was like, oh, that's right, they can today. Yeah. It was weird. So there's restrictions, Irish bars. There was one on the news, been asked to turn the music down so people don't have to yell so other people can hear them. So they don't have to get right up in their face to hear them. That's made at any bar.

Yeah. Huh? What? What? What? Huh? So that's one of the rules. And you've got to stay at your table and be seated.

Yeah. And then a server will only serve your table. Yeah. Or one person per table. So, yeah, you know, like, the Dirty Grind isn't back yet. Dirty Grind, no dance floors. Is the Dirty Grind going to be back in level one? Oh, absolutely.

It'll be back when we come back. After the levels are gone. Like, level zero. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Is levels one not normal? I thought it was. No, no, no.

Level zero. Oh, okay. No levels is normal. Okay, well, in that case, no levels. The dirty grind will be back. No dirty grind. Unless wearing a face mask. Face mask, dirty grind.

Yeah, face mask, dirty grind. No, because you can have it on your hands and stuff. No, but you can grind, but lean back and turn your ear away. So just pelvis touch, grind. Yeah, yeah. Butt to butt. Yeah. I don't know.

Oh, yeah. Because then you wouldn't be breathing on each other. Yeah. You'd do like a butt dance. Or bring like a riot police shield and still dirty grind. Dirty grind on the shield. Just have that between you, like a Perspex screen at the supermarket. Or maybe some see-through polyethylene.

Yeah, sure. You know, like that thick plastic. Absolutely. Just smudge your body up against a Perspex screen. Dirty grind. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Those are great suggestions.

We'll take them on board here at the New Zealand Medical Council. But at this stage, this weekend, bars employing extra security that are being dubbed the Pash Police. Because they'll be stopping people from pashing. So the top six types of pash that the Pash Police will be stopping. Number six, the teeth banger. You know when you're, it's probably when you're like relatively new to passing someone, they might have a different technique. Yeah, right.

And it means that you'll bang your teeth together. Or you're drunk and excited. And you're like, and it's a real nerve pain because it hits that nerve in your tooth. Like when you accidentally hit your teeth with a fork while you're eating. Or a coffee cup. Yeah. And you're like, but you're passing, so like that numbs the Or a coffee cup. Yeah. And you're like, but you're pashing

so like that numbs the pain a little bit. Yeah. It makes it easier. Number five on the list of the top six types of pash the pash police will be stopping

is the dribbler. Maybe you're a little bit too into it and it means that there'll be a little dribble out the corner of your mouth because you're producing the saliva

but you haven't swallowed and you haven't got a perfect seal. Yeah. So it'll dribble. Okay. That's a problem. Number four on the list of the top six types of pash that the pash place will be stopping, the nose squisher.

That's where you can't decide who's going left and who's going right. Or maybe someone goes in straight and you squish your nose up like that. You try to work it around, but when your nose is squished against another nose, it's kind of stuck there for a little bit. So the nose squisher is also off the menu. Number three on the list of the top six types of Pash. The Pash police will be stopping us with the face chewer. Oh, yeah.

That's when you see those people that are really like, rawr, rawr, rawr, rawr, rawr. You know, and they're both doing it. Yeah. And you kind of got to admire it because when it really starts working and the timing's going, like one's going, while the other one's going, and then they're going,

they sound like two cats having a standoff on the back fence. A little bit like that. A little bit like that. Because do you guys follow Zoe Zaldana on Instagram? No. Over lockdown. I don't know. She tagged in some. Over lockdown. I don't know. She tagged in some like New York.

It was, I don't think it was New York Times. But she was like, oh, thanks for the opportunity. And it was like they were showcasing how people were showing affection in lockdown. And her husband, have you seen her husband? No. Kind of like a ponytail, blonde dude, beard, like happy dude. Yeah. The sort of guy you'd see barefoot at Countdown.

Okay. Okay. I only say that because we went to the supermarket and there was a guy and he was barefoot and I said to Sade, man, that guy looks like Zoe Zeldada's husband. He kind of looks like, what's that? Chad Kroger.

No. Who does he look like? Yeah. A little bit Chad Kroger-y, I guess. Okay. That's not a great photo of him. Kid Rock. He's a bit more handsome.

But anyway, on Instagram, they started with a little kiss and then it really stepped up and they both started like, and I was like, it's nice to know hot people also look gross. Yeah. Having a massive pash. Yeah. Because it is pretty hard to look good having a pash

that's why you shouldn't pash in your wedding at your wedding kiss no it's just a delicate kiss you've got to

practice that kiss but then there's a photo of you and you see it a few years later and you're like ahhh number two

on the list of the top six types of pash the pash place we'll be stopping is the koala oh yeah okay that's where

they've got their arms, like, locked behind the back of their head so there's no escape. Generally, it's short woman to tall men. Yep. Or vice versa. Someone's got to be significantly taller because it's also giving them a bit of a hand to get a couple of extra inches up to their mouth there.

Good for the calves because you're doing a calf raise. Yeah. But they'll be putting a stop to it. And number one on the list of the top six types of pash that the pash police will be stopping as we hit level two and bars open, the mouth misser. Where someone's more like

You see someone and they're like pashing the cheek or the chin or the nose. They just had too much to drink and they're like. Yeah. Kind of missing the target. Yeah. And then just getting a mouthful of chin and chin makeup.

Yeah. Oh, bless. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Now, you may have seen the news story floating around over the last week or so that you can be entitled, you could be entitled to free money if you've been working at home. We talked about this. I know.

Because we were like, we should all apply. I don't know how we'd get away with it. And there were some reports like, oh, you could just tick up an office chair because, you know, if you don't have an office chair at home. Yeah, but your work had to pay for that, right? Yeah. But then they could claim the tax back on it. The IRD, the IRD, has come out yesterday

and have said that it's concerned people may be confused about their possible entitlement to work-from-home payments in the wake of a widely circulated media story. Bloody media again. Yeah, that really is. It's the media again, stirring it up. So a report, which has since been clarified, indicated that people who work from home

could be entitled to a tax refund of up to $15 a week. An IRD spokeswoman has said that it was wrong and that's not, in fact, possible. A determination by the tax department last month means employers can now pay employees who work from home a total of up to $20 a week tax-free without having to estimate or show what the employer's actual expenses were. God, they're so money police, eh, the IRD?

That's exactly what they are. They're the money police. The payments, like we said, come out of the employer's pocket. Yeah. Right. And so there's obviously concern that a lot of employers aren't in the position. Don't have deep pockets. Like, you know, a lot of people are just struggling to even employ people at the moment.

Yeah. And that's more important than your office chair. Exactly. Or paying for like some coffee or some heating or some electricity. So, yeah. So. Okay. Fine.

No free money. God, and I suppose you want the tax soon, won't you? You don't want everyone to have to pay the tax. Yeah, I think they'd want that too. Oh, God. How about you do something fun? Just a suggestion. Yeah.

It's been a hell of a year. Why don't they send... Do we need to add tax to the list of things? I just like... I, of course, I jest. I kid. I understand that that is a crucial part of running a country and advancing society.

I'd just like a fun letter from them every now and then, you know? Like a free back rub voucher. Well, it doesn't even have to be a voucher. Just be like, hey, y'all. Hey, girl. You all right? You thought this was going to be bad, but psych. We just wanted to see the, you know, say hi.

I thought it would be nice if they sent you a little certificate. Every time you pay your tax. Yeah, been like, well done, you pay tax. Here's like a sticker chart. And if you get 10 stickers like every year, like 10 years, you get like a little park or something. You don't go to jail.

Or you get a sushi eight pack. What? Oh, like a free coffee. That'd be nice, yeah. After 10 years of paying tax. You get a tax loyalty card Oh, like a free coffee. Yeah, that'd be nice. Yeah. After 10 years of paying tax. That'd be nice. You get a tax loyalty card if you get a free coffee. Yeah. And then they own the place that sells the coffee. So it doesn't, you know, they're making a bit of money.

And they're also making GST on their next purchase. Goodness, yeah. Have I just solved an economic crisis? Yes. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Yesterday, producer Jared said I am going to buy a queen ant for an ant colony. Because, of course, you need a queen to run the colony, otherwise the colony collapses.

Yeah. It's like a queen bee. And why did you decide to get into ant farming, Jared? TikTok. TikTok. TikTok. We have very different algorithms on TikTok. I've not seen the ant farms.

Megan's not seen any ant farms. No. You've got to find them. You've got to Google them. When we made the comparison to fish tanks, I think I prefer ants because they're so... They work hard and things change. They just don't swim back and forward.

Is it more low maintenance, ant farming? No. You maybe have to sprinkle some shugs in there every now and then. Yeah, just drop a piece of carrot and they're good for like two weeks. Carrot? Yeah. Why not some chocolate? Oh, you could do that too.

That's a treat. Just a cheat day. They would be more interesting to watch. You're right. But when friends come over, like if an aquarium looks more bougie than, hey, look at my ant farm. No, not if it's a big ass ant farm. Right.

But then you wouldn't want there to be an earthquake or for something to fall and hit the glass because imagine that. You'd have ants forever. So it's a bizarre world. I didn't know this really existed, this world of hobby ant farming. Yeah. Well, it does. And it actually

led us to, and Jared, soon after the show ended, sent me a link to a Facebook page called A Group Where We All Pretend To Be Ants In An Ant Colony. And there are, how many people are this? The last count,

it was 1.8 million people, but it does go up. And you think about it, that's probably about how many ants. Yeah, 1.8 million members. Isn't that what we're all doing on this planet, brah? Yes.

Oh, brah. Nah, because there's some lazy people and if they were in the ant colony, they'd be out. The Queen would order their death. Executive intern Anya, I believe Mr Bun Buns,

your boyfriend's been on this page for a while. Yeah, so a couple of months ago, I was like, oh, what are you doing? So he was really engrossed in his phone. He's like, oh, I'm just pushing. I'm just saying push, heave, heave in this group where we pretend to be ants. Because this is what people write.

They write, the deal is you write all in capitals and there has to be a space between every letter, but you speak like a basic worker ant. Like there's a video here, for example, one of the members of this ant page put up a video of ants in an ant trail, but some ants coming back. And it says traffic, but it's all in caps and it's got a letter. And then underneath it says beep beep, zoom zoom, crash, honk honk, pull, skirt, pardon me.

Right. It's all in capitals. Thousands and thousands of comments. Thousands of comments. Of people pretending to be ants. So you just write one or two words in caps and that's it. That's all you do. And so this Trish put up a photo of ants on a dead cockroach.

Yeah. And she said, dinner is ready, eat. And then everyone's like, eat, eat, nibble, bite, chomp, chomp, munch, munch, feast. For the queen. For the queen. A lot of queen chat. Yeah, right.

Save antenna for queen. Take two queen. Bite lot of queen chat. Yeah, right. Save antenna for queen. Take two queen. Bite, drag, drag, drag. Chew, lift, lift. Heave. For the queen. For the queen. I can't believe your boyfriend's doing this.

You should have a chat to Charlotte because I was trying to explain this to her yesterday and she's like, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Oh, shit. That's good and she's like, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Oh, shit, that's good. There's definitely worse things people could be doing. Oh, heck yeah.

Absolutely. Now, what's the update with your ant farm, Jared? I flicked an email to my Wellington contact. Yeah, this is your dealer. My ant man. To get a queen. Your ant dealer, yeah. Which we learnt yesterday, like over $100.

It was like $185 New Zealand dollars for one of these queens. And what did your dealer say? He said, no one I know sells ants in New Zealand, sorry. I don't believe anyone does. Go out to a field and lift up a rock. What a bitch. Why did he talk to you in such a condescending tone? Wait, so what is he dealing?

Insects. Yeah, professor of entomology. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You emailed a professor of entomology, a bug professor. They don't just sell ants to the public. That's not what they do. Surely they'd know where to find some.

Right? Well, he told you. Lift up a rock. Oh my god. I thought you actually had an actual dealer, like someone I've trained with. I love how you're like my contact in Wellington. Yeah, but he's an entomologist. He's a professor of insects. Yeah, but he doesn't sell insects to the public.

Yeah, but he might. It's below him. I love that. He'd want to study them. Go to a field and lift up a rock. Because I went home yesterday and looked in all the usual spots because summer's a real ant hot spot at our place under all the cobbles. But then I couldn't find no ants.

But then when I was cleaning out the chicken shed yesterday, I found ants, but I need to pull off a big bit of wood to see if there's... Pull, pull. Heave for the queen. Pull, pull for the queen. Heave. Oh, my God. What is the world coming to? Take the queen. Heave. Pull. Pull, pull for the queen. Heaves. Oh, my God.

What is the world coming to? Take two queen. I actually got a photo of an ant on a persimmon yesterday, but it won't let me upload it to the page. They only take submissions on the weekend, and then they drip feed them through the week. I imagine it's an admin-heavy page. An ant-man-heavy page, did you say?

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. No. It happened too quick. You said I needed to sing over the intro, but I didn't. It wasn't me. You were ready. I was going to say, does it kick in straight away? It kicks in straight away.

Okay, go again. Ready? Yep. I hope I'm not the only one. Thank God. That was your own key. You sounded exactly like Sam Smith. I'm not surprised.

Well, your last name is Smith. Your brother Vaughan Smith. I have a wonderful singing voice. So this is a new segment of the show. Yeah, we asked you if you believe that you do something in a way that no one else does. Annika, good morning. Good morning. Now, what do you think that you're alone in?

I eat cheeseburgers layer by layer, not as a whole burger. Oh, my God, no. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. So you take the top bun off and you eat the top bun. So when I do a Mexican cheeseburger, it's got no onion, no sauces, and it goes pickles, top bun, cheese, bottom bun, patty. So you finish with the big patty.

Where does the patty sit while you're eating the bottom bun? On the wrapper. Just humor me. Have you ever tried it all as one? Oh yeah, and if people order me one and it has everything in it, I'll eat it as a whole thing. It's only if I order it for myself.

Explain this to me again. So you open the top bun and the pickles are sitting there, so then you'll eat the pickles. Pickles first, top bun, cheese, bottom bun, patty. Oh, I think you might be alone in that. Do you need implements to do this or do you just use your fingers?

Oh, no, just fingers. Okay, right. So the idea also in this segment is that if you're listening and you do this, you need to call us or text in. 0800 dials at M9696 to text. If you deconstruct your cheeseburger. We need to see if Annika is alone in this. I used to deconstruct my food when I was younger, but I've never done it with a cheeseburger. What do you mean deconstruct?

It's only cheeseburgers as well. Like eat everything, eat individual bits of it separately. What would be an example of the foods you did it with? Well, like, everything on your plate. Oh, if you were having dinner. Completely. Yeah. And you would eat all the peas. Yeah, yeah, okay. I know people that do that, and that's...

Those are different things, but this is a... Alright, well, you need to give us a call now if you do this. If you eat layer by layer a burger, because otherwise, Annika, you will be all alone in this one. You will be the only one. And that's okay. Do you think you'll be alone in this?

Do you know of anyone else that does this? No, and all my friends think it's the weirdest thing. Okay, okay. Now, we're going to run a double, not just burgers. We also have Donna joining us. Donna, good morning. Good morning. How are you?

Good. Now, what is it that you do that you hope you're not the only one? Oh, I don't even mind if I am the only one. Oh, unashamed. I put the toothpaste in my mouth, not on my toothbrush. That is so weird. You squirt the toothpaste in your mouth, not on my toothbrush. That is so weird. You squirt the toothpaste in your mouth, then get in there with the brush and brush.

Yeah, so I flip the lid and then, like, squeeze it, put a bit in my mouth. But how do you pinch it off? Do you, like, lick it off? Oh, well, so I did this last night because I was like, do I touch the cap? But no, I don't. I, like, clean, yeah, like, kind I did this last night because I was like, do I touch the cap? But no, I don't. I like clean, yeah, like kind of clean lick it off.

But I also don't share the toothpaste with my partner. We have our own toothpaste. Oh, okay. Where do you squeeze it? Into the mouth? Do you put it between the gum and the lip or on the tongue? On the tongue. Oh, yuck.

Have you always done this? Yeah. No. No, so I messaged you always done this? Yeah. No. No, so I messaged my mum yesterday and I was like, is this something I've done since I was a kid? And she was like, no, you did not pick that up from us. Wow. But how do you know how much you're putting on?

Or do you just get a feel for it? You've got a little feel. You must do. Yeah, I must just know what I'm doing. So then, okay, sitting on your tongue, what do you do with the toothbrush when it goes into the mouth? Do you push the toothbrush onto the toothpaste? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then just give it a little.

Okay, so not only are we looking for people that eat their burgers layer by layer, but we're looking for people that put the toothpaste in the mouth first and not on the brush. I think you'll be alone on this one Donna. You've got to be the only one that does this. 0800 Dials at M. 9696. We want to take your calls and your text messages now. If you are a person that eats burgers by the layer

or squirts toothpaste straight in your gob. Putting it on the brush and running it under the tap. Thanks Donna. Alright we'll come back next. See if we can find anyone. See if they're alone in this. Are you ready to sing your intro? Yep, go.

I hope I'm not the only one. I forgot about the little... I forgot about the little... at the start. So I came in with the... Yeah. I hope I'm not the only one. So we asked people last night on our Instagram.

Yeah. What do you do that you believe no one else does? Maybe a weird little thing. Oh, some of them are so like kinky. Really? I think we'll be able to do this every week, this segment. Oh, yeah. Today we're doing two, but it's been such a rich vein.

We might just do one each time from now on. To stretch your content. To really explore it, yes. And to make it last longer. I was being honest with the listeners there. I was going to say, stretch out the content. It'll give us a chance to do more of a deep dive

into each individual thing. But yeah, sure. So, Annika eats cheeseburgers layer by layer. So we want to know if she's alone in that. Do you eat burgers layer by layer? And then Donna squirts the toothpaste in her mouth and then brushes. Doesn't put it on the toothbrush. Monster.

And you know what? Support for both. Some text messages. I'll occasionally put the toothpaste in my mouth first, but only when my partner isn't watching. They tell me I'm yucky. My husband puts his toothpaste in his mouth and then

spreads it with his tongue over his teeth and leaves it there for a bit before brushing. He's marinating his teeth. Yeah. He's giving them a pre-rinse. That's madness. Yeah. And burger deconstructors are plenty as well

on the text machine. Yeah, burger deconstructors. Jazz, who's this? Not me. My stepdaughter eats burgers layer by layer. Cheeseburgers. Cheeseburgers specifically too. So, Annika, not alone in that. No.

Does she do it with big burgers or just cheeseburgers? Just cheeseburgers. She doesn't really order other burgers. Right. Right. Wow. What does she finish with, the patty or the bottom bit of the bun? The patty.

It was pretty much identical and she gets no onion as well. Do you look at your stepdaughter and say, man, I'm glad we're not genetically related? It just annoys me. I'm like, I'm buying you a burger. Can you just eat it properly? Yeah, yeah.

It would frustrate me if my actual born genetically related daughter did that. I can only imagine. Must do your head in. Thanks, you cool jazz. Phil, you know someone who eats the burger layer by layer? My partner does it. Oh, does it drive you crazy too?

It's insane. Is it a cheeseburger? It's every burger. What's the biggest burger you've ever seen them do it with? Big Mac, layer by layer. So they start at the top and they just work their way, like they're deconstructing a skyscraper. They've got to take it down layer by layer.

God, that must be infuriating to have to witness Phil. It's funny, but it's like, just eat it. It takes so long. I think maybe that's the point. It makes it last longer. Yeah, it's funny, but it's like, just eat it. It takes so long. I think maybe that's the point. It makes it last longer. Yeah, it does. Phil, thanks for your call. That's all right.

Bridget, you do both of these things. I do. You eat burgers layer by layer and squirt the toothpaste in the mouth without putting it on the toothbrush. Yes. Goodness. I eat my burgers from the bottom up as well. You eat the burger from the bottom, so do you flip it onto the toothbrush? Yes. Goodness. I eat my burgers from the bottom up as well. You eat the burger from the bottom,

so do you flip it onto the top? Yeah. But then that means you end with a bun. Yeah, but that's got the sauce and the cheese and the onions and everything on it. Okay. Well, it's got the dribble. All melted.

It's got the juice. Yeah, right. It's got the remnants, the flavour remnants. Was this new segment confronting when both things that we're talking about today are things that you do? Well, it's happened to be what I opened my eyes to this morning. I was like, what?

That's me. That's me. That's me. That's me. Both things. That's me. Now, what about the toothpaste things? What's the origins of that?

I hate when your toothpaste gets all stuck in your toothbrush and I find if I get it in my mouth first, you don't end up with that real white crusty layer at the No, but you give it a wash. It all becomes bubbles because you run it under. It still ends up there. No, it doesn't. Have you tried wetting your

toothbrush, applying the toothpaste, wetting it again, then going into the gob? It still happens. I love this secret because you two hate it again, then going into the gob. It still happens. I'd love to see that because you two hate it when people do stuff different to you. No, I'm fine if they can explain it, but this to me sounds like... You know you, Bridget.

Bridget, would you like to talk to Donna who brought this up? Donna? Do you feel like you've maybe found a soulmate here? I must have done. But would the burger thing drive you nuts, Donna? Oh, absolutely. You can't even think back like that. No.

That's the thing. We could never go out. No. Sometimes my dog gets that bottom piece of bread if he's in the car with me. The dog gets the bottom bit of bread? Sometimes. Okay.

Well, that's nice then. I want the patty. At least give him the patty once. The dog's like, oh, bread? Sometimes. Okay. I want the patty. At least give him the patty once. Oh, breathe. Come on. Let's bring in Anika, who brought up the burger deconstruction. Anika, your thoughts? I'm just glad I'm not the only one that does it.

I can go back to my friends and be like, hey, I'm not here, thank you. So many people. Some people say they do it with Big Macs, Big Burgers, any burger, like a fish and chip shop burger, any burger they get, they do that. Oh, okay. No, mine's just cheeseburgers. Anything else is black for me.

Oh, well, yeah, you're not as weird as them then. You're only sometimes weird. A little bit weird. But could you brush your teeth by squirting the toothpaste in your mouth and then chasing it with a brush? I don't know about that. Give with a brush? Give it a go. Give it a go. Give it a go.

Live a little. Live a little. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. A University of Chicago economist has said in a study of happiness that people who use a coin toss to make major decisions that are obviously between two options. Yep.

Are living happier lives six months after making the decisions. If they go through with the coin toss decision. Yes. So the coin toss decides their major life decisions. Yes or no, like should I quit my job? Should I propose? Should I get a tattoo? Is it because you can blame the coin?

Is it because you can blame the coin? I've always thought it's because when you flip a coin and say, you're like, heads, I'm going to propose, tails, I'm not. And then you flip it and you're like, tails, and you're like, I'll go again. The minute you're like, I'll go again. You already know the answer. Yeah, yeah. Kind of subconsciously tells you what you wanted to do anyway.

Like in Friends, when Phoebe said to Rachel, you're not pregnant, she was like, oh. And then she's like, you are, you wanted to be. Remember that? Yeah, that's right. Because she thought she wasn't. She was like reverse psychology to find out what she really wanted. What she really wanted. Yeah. Yeah. God, Friends, there's something for Friends for everything, isn't there? Yeah. There really is. Yeah. And all these years later, still giving. Yeah. Still giving each cast member of Friends $20 million a year. Never forget that. I would never trust a life decision, anything with any weight, with a coin toss. But what if you had a decision that you just couldn't decide?

I'd ask someone else. I'm sure you guys would give me an in-depth run through of what I should do. And we're trying to be right, so we're normally always right. Decision makers. Yeah, like when you told Anya to buy that car, that just gave her nothing but grief. What car? The Demio?

Yeah. Where's the Demio at? Demio's gone. I'm sorry. The Demio's gone. Why don't you go through, you and Boon Boons go through some cars? I've had that car for two years. And it gave her nothing but grease.

That's a blink of an eye in the life of a car. Just in Warnanai's defence, we said, sure, it's a sensible car because mum's got one. It's the Mazda 2, isn't it? They go forever, yes. They go forever. But it's not our fault you didn't run a pre-purchase check,

which we also told you to do. No, no, no, no, no. These issues all came about like a year in. I saw you driving. That's Nazca's problem, not ours. I saw you driving a Volkswagen the other day. Was that a Polo or a Golf? That was a Golf.

That was a Volkswagen Timebomb is what you're driving there. Yeah, but now I've got a new car now. What have you got? You didn't tell us this. No, she told me. I don't want to be roasted for it. What kind of car did you get? It's a hot babe car.

Oh, God. Oh, no. Is it European? Bud Bugs calls it the Nana Wagon. Yeah, he's like, oh, you're going to go pick up the kids. It's a Hyundai Tucson 2007. And she runs like a charm. Sensible purchase.

A Tucson? What do you need a Tucson for? I don't know. I just think it looks cool. I like being up high. A 2007 Tucson? Yeah. I'm not familiar because a Tucson took a break there don't know. I just think it looks cool. I like being up high. A 2007 Tucson? Yeah. I'm not familiar because a Tucson took a break there for a while.

I know it's back now. It's kind of filled the gap. Why do you need one of this? This is huge. It's like a RAV4. Well, no. Okay. Is that what the 2007s look like?

Yeah. I love this. That's ugly. I dropped the bomb and now I'm just sitting back and watching. Did you get two kids and not tell us? You're a bitch. We went away. Are you coaching the soccer team or are you just taking the oranges?

This is why I didn't tell you. This is why I didn't tell you. I'm sorry. We went away for New Year's with this really cool dude and he had a Tucson. I was like, man, he's a cool dude. Look at him driving that car. And then I always wanted one. And then one popped up on Facebook Marketplace and hey-ho, here we are.

But was his Tucson like a new Tucson or like a 13-year-old Tucson? And he had a surfboard in it. It looked so cool. It's that lovely champagne colour too. No, it's silver. No, it's not quite silver. It's like that silvery champagne. I can see why you would tell us.

I can see why you would tell us. It's like a kid tried to draw a Subaru Forester. Oh, what? And then they were like, how old are you, Kurt? The kid's like, four. They're like, you're on board. Um, excuse me, like the Honda Accord is a babe magnet.

I don't need a babe magnet anymore. I've got my babe. It's a babe sustainer. Is it? You get the babe. When I got the, I don't, I was driving my mum's car. How Sade even got involved in this is a mystery to everybody involved. Yeah, it really is. Actually, I was driving a Toyota Starlet when, a 1986 Toyota Starlet when Sade, that's a, now that was a babe magnet.

You're not going to keep any soccer balls in the back of that. No, better economy. That was a, that was a, my mum used to be able to fit a guitar in the back of that to take me to guitar lessons. How did that turn out? Obviously fantastic. All right. I just can't wait till they open those borders again

so me and my band can go on tour. You've got the late... Well, you could probably use Emma's car in just a... Use the Tucson. Could we use the Tucson? Could we use the Tucson to transport the drums and the amplifiers? Or have you got... It'll cost you a lot.

Are you going on school camp with the kids that week? I was about to swear. I was about to say, you're this close. Is it going to make it to Whangamata? I'm sorry, Anna. Of course it is. It's an adventure wagon.

No, these are the ones you always see broken down on the side of the road in Manukau when you go south. Of course it is. It's an adventure wagon. No, these are the ones you always see broken down on the side of the road in Manukau when you go south. Oh, my God. Two k's up the road, there's a Previa that's broken down with the little boot up. All right, you've had enough now. Sit down, please.

Kia ora, I'm Jane Yee. I'm Alex Casey. And I'm Duncan Grieve. We are the hosts of The Real Pod and Confession Cam Time. We bloody love reality telly. If we sound like your type on paper, join us each week for your fix of reality TV news, recaps and gossip. On The Real Pod, it's perfectly fine to like reality TV. It's a safe space, so let down your walls, wear your heart on your sleeve and remember, it is what it is.

And what it is, is The Real Pod. Brought to you by the spin-off podcast network and available wherever you get your pods zms fletch forn and megan the podcast okay so that probably needs an explanation no we just found out that vaughn and i can walkie talkie each other on our apple watches fletch just got an apple watch hello vaughn come in over yeah i'm gonna go over into this corner. Hold the watch up. But that's annoying.

Can you go outside the studio? Go outside the studio first again. If we're going to do this. Do it right. Yeah. Do it right. Are you going to say something to me? Yeah, come in, Fletch, over.

So, but this is live. What if I walkie-talkie you while you're with your wife having an intimate moment? Over. Not likely. Did he hear that part? I don't know. Maybe it's delayed. Sorry, Maddie McLean message.

Excuse me. Did you hear what I said? Over. Oh, sorry. You were rogering while I was rogering. Okay, you always end with over, over. Gotcha, over. Okay, but so my question, if you and your wife are having an intimate moment and I walkie-talkie you, will that be weird?

That would be like hitting a bullseye from a mile and a half away, mate. But what if I walkie-talkie you and you don't hear me? I don't know. Okay, come back inside, please. Come back in. Megan's got a statistic to tell us about. Over?

Over? I was just about to say you didn't end with over, but you ended with over. I'm coming back in over. Yeah. How great is that? It's like walkie-talkies for adults. Oh, my God.

I wish I could play along. I don't know if it could go like three ways. I don't know. I don't know if you can get a three-way. Don't know. You can try. I'm open to it. 35.

I hope I don't walkie-talkie you during one. Imagine that. Roger that, Vaughn. 35% of couples. Do you have to have walkie-talkie open at the time? I don't know. Anyway, carry on, Megan. 35% of couples apparently want separate beds.

This study, and this is annoying, they surveyed 1,008 adults. That number just is really annoying. 1,008? Yep. Why didn't they stop at 1,000? Yeah. Far easier to work out a percentage if it's at 1,000. I would have just ignored 8. 8 results that I didn't like, I would have thrown them out.

Yeah, that's how statistics work. You just pick and choose them. Yeah. 75% said sharing their sleep space results in poorer sleep. 25% said that sleep had become harder during coronavirus. And then 35% said they're ready to take a sleep divorce and they're looking at buying a separate bed. Ah, sleep divorce. Have you seen those beds on the infomercial where one has a tilty bit?

You can tilt them all different sides. But when you get one of those, you've given up on life. I think you have, yeah. You've clocked out. You've been like, eh. What happens if you roll over for a cuddle and then you hit the, oh. Take the head. Oh, they've got it right up your forelock and under it,

and then they start putting it down and they catch in half. You've given up if you get one of those beds. I'm sorry, but that's. You've just stopped if you get one of those beds. I'm sorry, but you've just stopped trying. Yeah. So I never snore. Never snore. I found this video.

One Friday, I think, one Friday, last Friday? Where is this going? I said to Shada, I got into bed, and it was early, and I said to Shada, I reckon I'll be asleep in two seconds. And I started snoring so loudly, so quickly, she thought I was like, fooling around. Do you want to hear the snoring? I never snore. She snores.

You never snore. No, she was even blowing away. She was like, I thought you were joking. I've never heard anything like it. How? Oh. How? Oh, my God. Was that when you were sick?

Yeah. Oh. But apparently I literally said, I'm going to be asleep in two seconds. And then like half a minute later, I was like. And so she was like, yeah, funny guy. That's insane. From a non-snorer, that was like granddad level talk back on the radio underneath his pillow asleep, separate bed still. All right, it's 14 minutes away from eight.

Popped in the mail room yesterday after work and what Fletch had received in the mail, he labelled as cute and I labelled as weird for a grown man. It's lol and what Fletch had received in the mail, he labelled as cute and I labelled as weird for a grown man. It's lols at Fletch next. It's too crunchy to wash down. It'll rip my throat

to shreds on the way down. Megan, was it your Instagram story or Mr Toyboy's? Andrew's, yeah. You made a slice and it's got cornflakes in it. It's a whanganui slice.

Oh, my God. But good luck swallowing that quickly. Yeah, I said, well, you're going to have to wash it down with a hot coffee. Yeah, for all those people that are like, what do you do with all those treats? I bring it in for these guys. Fetting us up. Because I saw you make that yesterday and I was like, I'm not even going to ask you to bring it in because I know you will. It's coming, yeah.

Fetting us up like a Christmas pig. Yeah. Then I look skinny by comparison. Honestly, that's a fantastic plan. Yeah. In my opinion. I'm joking. You're not joking. No, I am.

I am. I'm joking. You want us to be the designated fat friends. It's why I've always had ugly friends. So I don't need to try very hard to be the best looking. Oh, you bitch. Yeah, but at least you're only ugly and I'm only fat. Fletch is fat and ugly.

Can't we roast each other? Oh my God. No wonder I have no self-esteem left. That's not all. Fletch isn't only fat and ugly. He's got a neat little parcel in the mail yesterday. He got very excited. He giggled that silly giggle he says, which is usually followed by or in front of, I'm so cute.

It's going to look real cute. This is going to look real cute. I said, what's that? He said, he, he, he. It's a bell for my bike. And I laughed. It's not one of those big, booty, you know, silver bells. It's like a little cute black one.

Oh, no, it's a little dainty one that makes a real high pitch. Ding-a-lee, ding-a-lee, ding-a-lee. I sent you a video, didn't I? Yeah. Can you please play the video? And then I've asked Jared for the audio and show bits. Okay. To play everybody the bell ding.

Okay. Oh, it sounds like the sound of Kanye's runaway. Get out of my way. Good bell. That's a good bell. And it looked good, didn't it? It's very high. It's very small.

Matt Black's got a little silver. It's not, it doesn't have a trigger. It's got a flicker. Yeah, it have a trigger. It's got a flicker. Yeah, it's a flicker. You flick, flick. Ding, ding, ding. Why is this funny? To get a bike bell.

You're going to be honing along a footpath. Yeah. And someone's going to hear a ding, ding, ding, ding to get out of the way. You're not on the footpath, are you? You should be riding on the road. No, there's bike lanes. There are bike lanes that people walk in. So that's why you need a bell.

Yeah. Are you talking about on Tamaki Drive? Are you saying it's not that I shouldn't be dinging? Well, it's not what you'd expect when you hear a ding and you turn around. When we were going around the local park during lockdown, the girls on their bikes, they said, Dad, what do we do when there's people on the path? Because going on the grass is quite hard.

And I said, well, you've got bells, so you ding a little way back, and then they will be, well, that's a child, and they will turn around and see you and get out of the way. So imagine you're biking, and they're like, ding, and they're like, well, that's a child, and they turn around and it's you. You're trying to make me walk you in a bike lane?

This will bite not you, walk on your feet. Yeah, well, footpath war. So if you go overseas and walk anywhere in big European cities where they're much more cultured, and they will ding a bell, and that's just a warning. It's not a... Here, when you ding a bell, people take offence to it. They shouldn't.

You shouldn't take offence to it. It's like horns in New Zealand are an act of aggression, whereas horns overseas are... Like Southeast Asia, people just beep. Everywhere, yeah. Asia on a whole, the beeping is just a warning. You just do it. Yeah.

But I have a much more friendlier image in my head, like cobblestone, someone with a wicker basket on the front. And there's a red hat and bread. Bread in it. And they've got like a nice sun hat on and they're like, ding, ding, and you're like, oh. And it's a sunny day. Not you coming along hooning with your matte black bow.

Get out of the way. I'm not going to yell get out of the way. I'm just saying that we shouldn't be offended by the bow. What's this say? Oh, we'll give a stern. But that's just my bitchy resting face. That's not. Well, you get out of my way.

Here's your point. I'm going to bite you on your feet. You use your footpath. You shouldn't be on the bike lane anyway, should you? Get off the bike lane. And if you can't handle the ding, get out of the kitchen. Is that a saying? If you can't handle the ding, get out of the bike lane.

Yes, if you can't handle the ding, get out of the bike lane. Because it's a bike lane. Can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen. Can't handle the ding, get out of the bike lane. Exactly. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Friday Flashback. Flashback, Flashback.

This song today was originally done by Tommy James and the Shondells in 1978. I didn't know that it was like a... I didn't know it was a cover either. No. It's been... The song's been covered by like Green Day, The Killers. Like heaps of people have covered it. Sorry, can I just pause? Yeah.

I know we're in the middle of Friday Flashback, but you've drank your coffee with the silver marking on top and it's put it on the end of your nose. You've got a silver tip of the nose. Write it on the side. They write what's on there in the marker and it comes off on your nose when you take a drink. Well, at Beaufort & Co, we write it on the side. Just saying.

So it doesn't go on your nose. Carry on. Carry on. So yeah, it was originally done in 1978. I didn't know it was a cover. It has made somewhat of a resurgence. Always been a banger, but it's made a little bit of a resurgence after it was in the Umbrella Academy, the TV show.

Such a good TV show. And they've used it to tease season two of the Umbrella Academy coming out in July. July 31. Great dance scene in that. And it feels kind of fitting given the world that we're living in right now. So today. Isn't that why Billy Joe Armstrong from Green Day recently covered it and played it live? I think so, yeah.

It's a great version. Right. From 1987. Number one in New Zealand. Wow. Yeah. I think we're alone now, Tiffany. What a banger.

Oh, yeah. It's your Friday Flashback on CDM. Children behave That's what they say when we're together And watch a new play They don't understand And so we're running just as fast as we can Holding on to one another's hand Trying to get away into the night And then you put your arms around me

And we tumble to the ground and then we say I think we're alone now It doesn't seem to be anyone around I think we're alone now The cheating of our hearts is the only sound Look at the way We gotta hide what we're doing Cause what would they say If they ever knew

And so we're running just as fast as we can Holding on to one another's hands Trying to get away into the night And then you put your arms around me and we tumble to the ground and then you say I think we're alone now Doesn't seem to be anyone around I think we're alone now The tuning of our hearts is the only sign Running just as fast as we can Holding on to one another's hand

Trying to get away into the night And then you put your arms around me And we tumble to the ground and then you say I think we're alone now There doesn't seem to be anyone around I think we're alone now. The beating of our hearts is the only sound. I think we're alone now.

It doesn't seem to be anyone around. I think we're alone now. The beating of our hearts is the only sound I think we're alone now There doesn't seem to be anyone around I think we're alone now The beating of our hearts is the only sound I think we're alone now

There doesn't seem to be anyone around ZM, it's your Friday flashback. Tiffany, it was number one here, the US, UK, all over the world in 1987. Just before we get to some feedback of today's Friday flashback, this time next week, the Long Weekend Group Tote, so make sure you join us because it is Queen's birthday weekend next weekend with the Monday off. Then on you falls great responsibility.

The lead into the Long Weekend Group Toot Friday Flashback is always integral. Well, you know I always produce a banger, so there's no issue there. Some feedback? Yes. Absolute banger.

Seven-year-old me owned this on cassette. Oh, wow. Okay. 34, no other words, not ashamed. Best flashback ever. Absolute banger.

A few negatives, but... I like the one that someone said it sounds like what News Talk CB plays before they go into the news. So they...

Do you know they play a song when the person needs to go wheeze? Do they? That's why they play a song sometimes. Who? Or they've run out of racist callers. Don't they have? No, they have one of those pre-recorded St. Pierre's sushi things to go to the toilet. I don't know.

Tell me about your value sushi of the day. I don't know. They're like salmon. They're like, all right, let's make this last for two minutes. But if they're not talking, I'm like, what's going on here? But yeah, they're going to the toilet. They might be going to the toilet. Yeah.

Am I a bad person? Holmes, you'd be outside having a smoke back in the day, wouldn't you? You would have been. You'd be like, play a song, I'm having a smoke. Paul Holmes, do what I want. Today, am I a bad person? Ooh, yeah. I'll just read it, shall I?

My wife is pregnant with our daughter. Initially, we were really happy and excited about it. But then she starts acting like a nut job. Wow. His words, not mine. So yesterday, a random girl starts flirting with me after the gym and asked me if I wanted to meet up with her for some drinks. I rejected her and told her that I was married. That's good. Good.

Yeah, good so far. And when I got home, my wife started to hug me and apologize. When I asked her what happened, she told me that her best friend suggested a test for my loyalty. So they asked a mutual friend to flirt with me and asked me out. Wow, that is shocking. A test. You're getting married and having a baby with someone. No, they're already married. They're married. They a baby with someone No they're already married They're married

They're married Yeah they're married My wife is pregnant So there's no test right You know at this stage Well no People have People have chatted on

Their pregnant partners before Yeah that's true But did she have a base For this crazy accusation I don't know And it does sound like He says I'm done with her antics. I feel like there's more. Yeah.

But, like, they need to go to some counselling because there's a lot going on there. You know, like, she's testing him. But he's obviously thinking about breaking it off. Because he's obviously sick of the way that she's acting. Yeah. But they can work it out. They've got a child coming in. It's the most trying time

of a relationship. Well, I think when the kid's here is harder because you've got wild sleep deprivation. I can't speak to the hormones of pregnancy because my experiences were relatively same old, same old.

There wasn't any wild mood swings. And I've never been pregnant, so I don't know what the hormone switch is like. And that's not an excuse. Oh, you'd be crazy. But it could be. That's what my husband says. You'll be nuts. He's like, you're going to be a monster.

Yeah, you will be. Get it out of your system now. You'll go be crazy. But, I mean, that's not an excuse, but it could be like a reason why she's acting like a nut job. I mean, I don't think he's a bad guy. If he wants to get out of this, I mean, it's probably not the best time, is it?

No, not a great time. But then is there ever a good time to break up with someone? There really isn't, is there? A couple of weeks in. True. Probably the best time. Okay, good point. But we're past that.

Yeah. We're past that. Damn. Yeah. I mean, I don't think he's a bad person. I mean, I think you're right. He should try and go to a counsellor. Like, they're married.

I think, I'm not excusing what she did at all, but I think there's enough extenuating circumstances that he should ride this out and maybe talk to some people. Yeah. Because, like, I don't know,

maybe hormones are up the wazoo and she's having a rough time. Yeah. Okay, well, this is where we need you to weigh in and tell us what you think. 0800 Niles at M,

9696, is he a bad person for wanting to get out of this marriage? After she tested him. And dump him. Yeah, let's remember she set a trap. She did. A sting.

She did a sting. And then he dodged the sting. Yeah. He dodged the trap. He was like the person working in the liquor store and the police brought in a 16-year-old that looks 24. With a moustache. He passed. He asked for ID and he didn't sell that bour brought in a 16-year-old that looks 24. With a moustache. He passed.

He asked for ID and he didn't sell that bourbon to the 16-year-old. Yeah. Sure. Good. Good analogy there. Good analogy there.

Am I a bad person? This one's so sticky, I don't even really feel comfortable like deciding for them, you know? There's a lot happening here. My wife is pregnant with our daughter. Initially we were really happy and excited about it but then she starts acting like a nut job. So basically

she set a trap for him at the gym. A mutual friend flirted with him. He passed the test which was for loyalty. And now he's obviously pretty annoyed about it. I'm done with her antics. Am I a bad person for breaking up with her over this? So our poll result on Instagram is exactly 50-50.

Ooh, isn't it? It's split. People are like, yes, he is a bad person, but also, no, he's not. Down the middle, even. Just playing devil's advocate. We don't know. It's only his side.

We don't know. Not that a test is okay. We don't know that he hasn't cheated before. And we don't know. Not that a test is okay. We don't know that he hasn't cheated before. And we don't know how he's been acting. Yeah. That's what I mean. I feel like we need

more information. I don't feel comfortable. I know we're asked to judge on the information we're given. Okay. But if somebody did that to you, how would you feel

if they said a trap? Totally pissed. Yeah. It's like, all trust is gone, right? Yeah. Okay, so, is he a bad person

for wanting to leave? Joe, what do you think? I reckon he should walk. Right. You wouldn't put up with a test? Like, if you got... No, because, you know,

she's saying it's a test for loyalty, but there's got to be more to it. It's loyalty, it's trust, it's, you know, what kind of relationship

do you have if you're going to set up a trap like that for him? Yeah. But what about the fact that she's pregnant? Could it just be hormones and stuff?

Yeah, but, you know, I've got a kid and when my partner was pregnant, you know, she was eating soap and stuff like that, not setting up a trap.

Pregnancy cravings. Some people eat, like, dishwashing powder. We've talked about it before. Dirt. They lick bricks. That's really... Yous. Some people eat like dishwashing powder. We've talked about it before. Dirt. They lick bricks. That's really... You can't say you set up a trap as a hormonal thing, you know?

Yeah. You're right. When the normal thing is to eat laundry powder. Great point, Jo. Thank you, babe. Thanks, Jo. Michaela. Michaela, is he a bad person?

No, I don't think he's a bad person at all. Okay. Do you think the trap was too far? Yeah, definitely. I mean, come on. Like, you're married and pregnant. We're a bit far past the point of testing loyalties at this point. Like, it's a bit late for that.

Yeah. I also wonder how hot the friend was, too. Could they have gone hotter? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Fletch! That's like the bait in the trap. Yeah. Are you going to catch a

mouse with some yucky cheese or do you give them the good stuff? Peanut butter. Oh, peanut butter. That'll get them in. Because they're licking at it. Okay, so you think not a bad person? Yeah, nah. Not a bad person for wanting to break up with her.

We don't know much more about the situation other than that. So whether or not they should go to counselling or something to try and sort it out. But for wanting to break up with her over that, I don't think he's a bad person for it. Yeah. Okay. All right. Thanks, you cool, Michaela. Muds, what do you think?

Bad person or not? No, I don't think he's a bad person. And I think they should ditch the mutual friend. The one that they used in the sting? The one that suggested it. No, that's the best friend. Oh, the best friend. He'd obviously have recognised her, so they used

somebody else. This is a good point, because if you know that your friend is a bit emotional and hormonal, you should be there to kind of talk her down and be like, calm down. It's okay. Okay. Fair call. Good point. Thanks, you cool muds.

Jacob, is he a bad person for wanting to break up? Oh, I don't think he's a bad person, but he could, because we don't really know what's going on behind the scenes, but he's got a pregnant missus at home. He shouldn't be thinking about divorce. He should be thinking about helping her out. Probably not the best time. Yeah, but what about the sting, Jacob? That'd hurt. That's what I mean. We don't know what's going

on before that she's done that, and she's acting a bit crazy, you know, because she's growing someone inside her, mate. You can't really call her on that, can you? Wow, everyone is so split. Jacob, thanks for the call. Thanks, Jacob. A really text machine? Do you think that's 50-50?

Yeah, maybe leaning slightly more in favour of him. But people saying that divorcing someone and leaving your pregnant partner is maybe a little bit too far. As you say, you've got to try things. That's not a good PR look, that's for sure. Not a great PR look. Good for your brand.

For your brand? Your brand's going to be damaged. How do you manage to make everything so sterile? Yeah. Corporate. This will not be good for the stocks. We listed three weeks ago on the stock exchange the IPO wasn't quite what we'd hoped.

This is not good for the brand. And you're about to leave your pregnant partner because she's put you through a sting. Yeah. I don't think the market will like that. No. That's going to reflect badly on the NZX. That's for sure. No, Medjian, not a bad person. Some people saying he is a bad person.

I was absolutely crazy possessive and all kind of emotional during my first pregnancy. The hormones, it's like convincing your brain of something. It's very hard to do. Yeah, right. Because your brain's the thing It's very hard to do. Yeah, right. Because your brain's the thing that's telling you to do it in the first place. Yeah, I don't want to judge you. I haven't been there yet. You might be in for a real treat.

I personally can't wait to pull the pin out of that grenade and then hand it back to Mr Toyboy at the end of the day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about France's longest border. Now, what country do you think France shares the longest border with? Germany? Belgium.

I don't even know what's beside France. It's definitely not Belgium. It's quite a small border. And it can't be France because of your tone and inquisitive nature. Does Belgium border France? Yes. Yeah, I think so. But a little tiny bit. A little teeny tiny bit, right?

Germany. Germany is a pretty good answer, but it's not Germany. No, Spain's the second longest. The longest border that France has is with Brazil.

Well, explain this. Vaughan Smith. I will happily explain to you. French Guiana, north of Brazil, is actually not counted as a foreign interest to France. It's actually counted as a French region. It's considered as much a region of France as mainland France. Tricky, dicky question. That was misleading.

I know, it was a trick question. It was very tricky. It was misleading. It was a trick. Naughty. It was a trick. Yeah, so their longest border, it's longer than the one. It's 730 kilometres long,

and the one with Spain is the second longest. That's 657 kilometres long. But the one with Brazil and French Guiana is the longest. Speak French there, obviously. I've never been. I've never seen Brazil on this map. So if you look at the regions of France, you've got your more well-known regions of France,

your Bourgogne-Français-Comté. You've got your Normandy. What did you say? You've got your Normandy. You've got your Brittany. I thought it spelt different than Guyana. So there's Guyana and then there's also French Guyana, but they're not even neighbouring, Guyana and French Guyana.

No, they're not. Huh. Oh, I wonder if Guyana has a meaning in French. Do you know what I mean? Like, is that an origin with French words? Right, it's very close to Venezuela, so it'd be lovely beaches, I'd imagine. This fact of the day sucks for people who aren't good at geography.

I don't know what you're talking about. I don't even know where Brazil is. Where's Brazil? What do you mean you don't? South America. Yeah, I mean. It's the big one. It's on the right.

It's the huge one. It's the big one. Spain's not in South America. Oh, I don't know, man. It's the big one. Oh, man, I don't know, man. It's the big bulgy bit. It's the big one.

It's the nose. Yeah, it's the nose. It's the nose on the head that is South America. Long neck, but headgy bit. It's a big one. It's the nose. Yeah, it's the nose. It's the nose on the head that is South America. Long neck, but head. Okay. Looks like a head. It's the nosy bit. Cool.

That's Brazil. All I know is Italy is a boot. This is it. Brazil. Now, Argentina, Chile, and Peru confuse me. I consider them the Scandinavian countries of South America because I can never remember which ones are the Scandinavian countries and I can never remember which ones.

Chile's on the side. Which is the long skinny one? Chile. The really long skinny one. That's Chile. Yeah. And you always remember that because they always say that Gisborne is the closest point? To Chile.

Is that what they say? I don't know. I'm going to remember that because I'll say it's Chile and Gisborne and then I'll remember. Okay. Because you know how like if you give yourself a little story, it's easy to remember things. And then what's the next one over? Argentina. Argentina.

And that's bigger than Peru. Yeah, it's real wide. It's a real long, wide one. It's a girth. But South America's not joint to France. I don't know what you're talking about. We established that ages ago. Remember I said it's not connected,

but it is considered as much a region of France. This is when I started saying... Oh, that sucks. That's not what a border is. Personne conférence. No, that's a trick. You've tricked us all. Yes, it was a trick I established.

It was also a trick question. I mean, when you were trying to work out where Brazil was eight minutes ago. That's so stupid. No, but it's interesting now. And it's a neat little bit of trivia because you know what? I can guarantee they'll be on the chase soon. Yes.

Do you know I've had so many people message me saying, question, I knew an answer on the chase today because it was a fact of the day once. I'm like, yes, that's a victory for fact of the day. I always find that a real fact of the day victory. So next time they're like, you know, 20 seconds to go, four questions. It looks like the chase has got them all wrapped up.

And then the question is, who does France share its longest boundary with? What country? The chaser will be like, Spain. And they'll be like, no, I'm going to throw it across to you now. Chance for a pushback. And they're like, Germany? Brazil.

No. No. And then Bradley Walsh goes, French Ghana. Who would have known? French Ghana borders Brazil. So the answer was Brazil. 20 seconds left. Three questions to go.

I'm afraid for you being caught and for you, the chase is over. So today's fact of the day is France's longest land border is with Brazil. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Well, the day is here. It's New Cat Friday. It makes it sound like it happens every Friday. Imagine if it did. That would be terrible.

It would be very expensive. Very expensive. But, Fletch, you're getting your new cat. Major Murray Fluffington is the name that we're going with. Great name. Mars Fluff. Muzzy. Mage.

Mage. Oh, Mage. Lots of nicknames, possibilities. So we'll see what sticks. But Major Murray Fluffington, new cat day today, picking up this afternoon. Yeah. I became an accidental Kmart mum influencer yesterday.

Because, you know, I lined up at Kmart earlier this week. That was nuts. Yeah. Never doing that again. But I was like, well, they've got cheap cat toys, so all right, I'll wait 15 minutes. And I've got this little

cat tunnel thing. I've put together like kit set furniture that was easier than this. Oh, really? Like you had to construct the cubes and then each of them

had like little interjoining cardboard things. It was full noise. Is it a decent cardboard? Yeah. It's good cardboard. It'll hold the cat. Okay. It's got like. Is it a decent cardboard? Yeah, it's good cardboard. It'll hold the cat. It's got like a little bridge thing.

And then mages are not even going to be into it. Well, yeah, because I got messages from people saying, good luck, it took me an hour to put that together too and then my cat didn't even play with it. I was like, I will feed him in there and put a laser in there. He will go in there. Because the cardboard box is what the cats always play with. Yeah, they love the cardboard boxes. Now this cats always play with. Yeah, they love the cardboard boxes. But now this

is a cardboard box. Yeah, it is. So hopefully it'll be the perfect toy. This is exciting. You made the decision in lockdown that you were like, okay, another cat. I know because I was bored. And now it's out of lockdown. You're not going overseas for a while. Nah, there'll be no travel for a while. So

yeah, cat day. I don't know what else you want me to say. So what have you got? You cleared the weekend? Yep, mostly, yep. Apart from the old visitor? No, this is, I think people want to come around and visit now.

Do you know, like people never wanted to come around and then you get a cat, like when I had the last cat, everyone comes over and then no one came over and now everyone's like, I want to come over again. Are you taking anything from this? I see what is going on here. I see what's going on. What do you think is

going on? What's the common denominator? If I don't have a cat I'm not interested to come around and visit. Right. That's what I'm picking up here. Yes. That's what I got too. So I was just wanting to make sure we're on the same page. Yeah, we're on the same page. Yeah.

So you can expect. So tonight, lots of content? Yeah, I'll be spamming content tonight. If you want to see this, what I'm talking about, this cat thing, is on my Instagram. But yeah, tonight. What's your Instagram? FletchNZ.

Thanks for giving me a plug there. There'll be definitely a lot of spam tonight. Cat spam. Cat spam. Cat spam. Yeah. But I won't a lot of spam tonight. Cat spam. Cat spam. Cat spam. Yeah. But I won't spam too much because I don't want,

you know. Give the people what they want. Yeah. Again, like, people get really into it when you post pictures of cats, eh?

You post them of yourself, they don't care. It's funny to see the picture here. Yeah. Aw. It's a hard pill to swallow. Confronting Friday.

It's confronting Cat Friday ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast This is Cadbury In Australia People putting the big questions To the chocolate empire

And this is something We've debated Between the three of us Should chocolate be kept In the fridge Or in the pantry And Vaughan You're a fridge person too, like me.

I'm a fridger. Because especially during, I noticed this over lockdown, if I got chocolate, I'd be like, it's too warm. Just needs a little bit in the fridge. How hot is your pantry that it's going to melt? It's just in summer if you're eating chocolate, it's too, I don't like eating like soft chocolate. It's got to be hard.

Yeah. And I want to break it off, break it off. I don't want white spotty chocolate. It's got to be hard. Yeah. And I want to break it off. Break it off. I don't want white spotty chocolate. I don't need my chocolate to be like crunchy hard. No one's keeping chocolate long enough. You won't get white spotty chocolate.

The only time you get white spotty chocolate is if you buy it from a dairy and no one's bought anything for like eight months. I'm not a massive chocolate person though. Like I don't hoover it. I'm just like a little bit here,

a little bit there. Well, Cadbury, this is in Australia. Cadbury, Australia have answered the question. Someone asked them on Twitter. I don't know why we didn't think about doing that, but they responded very quickly and said. They are but one chocolate outlet. Yeah, I'd love to know what Whittaker's think,

because you know I'm a Whittaker's fan, because they've got the big blocks. It's like, what does stepdad think? Message Andrew and Brian. What does stepdad think? You're like, well, no, I want to know what my big blocks. Message Andrew and Brian. What does stepdad think? You're like, no, I want to know what my actual dad thinks. Andrew and Brian Whitaker. They're dead, Megan.

Are they dead? Megan, they've been dead for a long time. Way to bring it up. But they always say Andrew and Brian Whitaker. Yeah, but they're dead. They ate too much chocolate. They died fat, fat old men. Can a Whitaker's representative then, since Andrew and Brian are dead, message us?

I'll find Whittakers on Twitter and ask them. Do you reckon they still use Twitter? Also, you're already arguing with me and I haven't even told you what Cadbury said. I know, I can tell what they said. Because I'm all smug. Yeah, I can tell that. Chocolate should always be stored in a slightly cool, dry, dark place, such as a cupboard or pantry at temperatures less than 21 degrees Celsius

to ensure the quality is not compromised. You've also just described a fridge. Less than 21 degrees. Yeah, less than 21 degrees, that's a fridge. Not four degrees. That's less than 21, last time I checked. Sometimes I'll chuck chocolate in the freezer because it just lasts longer.

Me too. Yeah. If you get a chocolate with a thing in the middle, like a caramel, sometimes you'd chuck a bit of that in the freezer just for a bit

of a change up. Yep. Same with biscuits. Chuck some squiggles or a mint slice in the Mint slice in the freezer. Yeah.

Yeah. Mint slice in the freezer. Yum, yum, yum. My best friend always has a packet of mint slice in the fridge. Yeah, way to go. I'm really disappointed too because on the text machine

everyone says fridge and freezer for chocolate. That's psychopathic. No, it's a... Yes, it is. Because I know that they say it ruins the quality of the chocolate, but I mean, what kind of... We're not putting boutique chocolates in, are we? You know that milker chocolate, the European milker chocolate?

That's so soft and smooth. If you put that in the fridge, it's going to go like, it's not the consistency that it's meant to be enjoyed at. You know? Are you hearing this? Wait a minute. Andrew and Brian Whittaker aren't dead? What do you mean?

Someone said they live in Porirua. Can you take it back, please? Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I've, of course, panicked to the Whitaker Fano this morning. They wake up, they're like, Andrew and Brian are dead. Because they always say on the ads. Okay, so wait, wait.

Love from Andrew and Brian. Wait. Okay, so Andrew and Brian aren't the ones that kicked it off. J.H. Whitaker, 1867. Can we get you? All right, I believe Kerry's on the phone. Kerry, good morning. Good morning to you.

Good morning. Now, are you a Good morning to you. Good morning. Are you a chocolate? Are you a chocolatier? A chocolatier. You are a chocolatier. I am. Who are you a chocolatier for? I have my own company.

I'm doing more of a hobbyist now. Oh, okay. Do you do white chocolate or are you one of those chocolatiers that is against white chocolate? I work with all types. Yes. Okay, yum. She doesn't discriminate. Okay. Do you do white chocolate or are you one of those chocolatiers that is against white chocolate? That's not a real chocolate. I work with all types. Yes. Okay, yum.

She doesn't discriminate. Okay. Kerry, where should we be keeping our chocolate? Fridge or pantry? The best temperature to keep your chocolate at is 16 degrees. Like a limestone cave. If you've got a limestone cave at home, that'd be a great place. Are they 16 degrees? About 14 degrees.

Okay. We are pretty close. What you need is like... Ants generally don't like chocolate unless you put sugar on top of it. Right. Ants. So if you're storing it in a pantry or somewhere like that, your ants aren't going to be attacking it.

So I guess if the pantry's shaded, but even in summer, wouldn't it go above... Yeah, your pantry can get well above 16 degrees in the summer. So what you're saying is like a red wine fridge, we need a chocolate fridge so we can regulate it at 16 degrees. Ideally, yep. See, I'd be one of those people if I won Powerball. I wouldn't have a wine cellar.

I'd have a chocolate cellar with fridges. Chocolate fridges. What's the vintage on this one? Yeah. Ah, yes. 2011, it was a wonderful year for the coconut. Thank you, Kerry, for that. Again, I can't apologise enough to people who thought

maybe Andrew and Brian had been killed in some sort of chocolate-based accident, maybe fallen in the chocolate river, sucked up the pipe. So what was the story there? Andrew and Brian aren't dead. But was he some kind of... James and Ronald Whittaker. That's who you're thinking about. Were the founders. Yeah. No, they were the

sons of the original Whittaker. It's a family business. They've passed it down. I've got great news. I know because I've watched the ads and they say Andrew and Brian. In 2010 Holly and Matt Whittaker joined the Whittakers. So they're like the fourth generation of Whittakers.

I really need to know what the Whittakers say about this. Also, they don't look like they're eating much chocolate. I want a big fatty running that company. They don't look like they eat any chocolate. Smell attractive individuals. Yeah. Eat some of your product. Yeah.

I want a crazy looking fatty running Whittakers. If they said, oh, we've got a new flavour suggestion, I'd be like, all right, low BMI, take it back to the drawing board. And then a fat person walks in, they're like, stay with me. I've got a great idea for a new flavour. I'd be like, I'm on board. You know your sweets. Yeah, we can trust you.

Yeah, yeah, look at you. You're not afraid to try your sample of the product. It's my fave chocolate, though. It's fantastic, isn't it? All right. Next on the show. I'm time. Top six.

No, we've still got work to do, mate. The top six is coming up and our bar's open. I think everybody knows we're just playing back bits we did earlier in the show. The ruse is over, my friend. It's home time. See you, suckers. Oh, hi, boss. See ya, fools.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and clean to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here.

ZM.