ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 22nd November 2021

Episode Date: November 21, 2021

Fatbergs  Ice Cube Trend  Hardballing  What did Mum water down?  Top 6: Things you can Sit OnGav!  What did you Accidentally Swallow?  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, Barista made coffee available from drive-thru and McDelivery at level 3 and dine-in at level 2. And for those listening overseas, we're in some kind of level 3 point something, about to go into a traffic light system, which will give us more freedom in a week. But we are hearing reports this morning that Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern

is saying don't expect any more freedoms this week, Auckland. I'm pretty sure people who are following the rules will continue to, people that won't probably stopped three weeks ago. Yeah, well, my friend in anticipation for some kind of relaxed level this week, booked a haircut for Thursday. Oh, that's presumptuous. I just messaged. I said, Horn, I don't think you're getting that fade this week.

It's not happening. Nice that they booked an appointment, though, under the guise that maybe we'd go down a level because lots of people are still getting haircuts. I know. You can actually notice those that have had a sneaky haircut. Even though they say they live with a hairdresser. Yeah.

Or they've done it themselves. My friend is a hairdresser and said when she walked around Ponson and she was like, hmm, lots of very professional fresh fades going on here. All right. Yeah. Everyone in Ponson, he's got nice haircuts, it turns out. Where are they getting those done? Do you think maybe it's just It is someone who is very handy

With the clippers At a distance of two metres No, I meant like a flatmate Or a lover Yeah, well I just cut my husband's hair For the third time, third or fourth And the fade's not getting any better So no one's under the impression that that was professional.

Has anyone said to him, were you getting your hair cut? No. No. Because it's not that good. You can tell. Oh, your wife did that, didn't she? Oh. Cute.

But you can definitely see some people walking around, you're like, okay, who did that? Yeah. Who did that? Who did that? But then you see other people and they look like they've been lost at sea for like five weeks. Yeah, I like that one.

Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch. Morning, Megan. Happy Black Friday week. Thank you, Fletch. It's your week, isn't it? Yes.

Usually when I start my Christmas shopping, but this is going to wrap up my Christmas shopping. Well, I saw a story on the news last night. You may have seen this about how the, and we've talked about this, how the stores ramp up their prices pre-Friday week. And then their reductions or their specials look good, but they're not as good. They're not really as good as they should be or could be.

You got to do your research beforehand. That's, um, what's that website? Price Spy. Yeah. And you go, you find what you want and then you go and look at its price throughout the year and you can see when it's spiked and then dipped. Yeah. Because they said that they actually hike some products. Yeah.

So you're not actually getting a deal at all, you're paying more. Those bastards! You think we're bloody stupid? Those bloody bastards! Well, most of us are. Ouch. Stupid. Yeah. I mean, we see the big... It's always good to have a good bit of motivation

from you to start the week. You know, we see a line through that dollar amount and we think, oh, that's cheap. They wrote on it, bargain deal. Even supermarkets, they put up their little thing and then you flip it back and it's like two cents discount. I know. What would it cost more to print out this yellow piece of paper?

That's so true. Cheeky. Another chance to win cash on the show this morning with our cookie flip. Thanks to Cookie Time with the Christmas cookie buckets. Yeah. $500 cash. So listen up for the activators this morning to get through. The top six on the way.

Well, there's a ton of shipping delays and apparently furniture. You can expect a six-month wait on furniture if you've ordered furniture that needs to come from overseas. Do they make couches like here in New Zealand? I know they make beds because we've got our beds. Yeah, we went to the Sealy factory. We saw them being made. But do they make... They must do, right? Like, some of them.

I don't know. Like, maybe, like, one-off bits. You just never hear of, like, couch factories, do you? I mean, I don't hang around factories, but... I just assume they're all in the furniture store. Well, I've got the top six things to sit on while you wait for your furniture.

Okay. Because, you know, if you got rid of your old couch because you thought it was going to be delivered next week. Do you think Lily from Big Save would be awake now? Can you ask her where the couches are made? Okay, I'll ask her if there are any couches made in New Zealand. Because, yeah, beds, surely. And, like, wooden bed frames. Absolutely.

She's got some beautiful timbers. Okay. But I don't know about the actual, like, cou frames. Absolutely. Yeah. It's got some beautiful timbers. Okay. But I don't know about the actual like couches. Yeah, right. I'll flick her a tent. Next on the show. New Plymouth has a problem. I mean, New Plymouth's got a huge, a raft of issues.

Don't, Vaughan. Massive amount of problems. I won't hear a bad word said about my hometown. Well, you're about to. So, stand by. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. New Plymouth, New Plymouth, New Plymouth. You fatty bergs.

Not people. Well, people are causing the fat bergs. If you're not familiar with fat bergs, I was introduced to fat bergs when London was suffering from a horrendous fat berg problem. That was my education on fatbergs. It's when the fat that you tip down the

drain after you cook your fish fingers or whatever you're cooking. And you put them in their fish fingers. Fish fingers. And you tip it down the sink and you run a little bit of hot water and then it's gone. Problem solved. But it hits some cold water.

Cold water, tampons, wet wipes, clothes pegs, nappies. This is all what was found in clothes pegs. Yeah. Who's flushing a nappy? People do flush nappies. Whenever there's these fatbergs, I remember it was like, please don't flush nappies, disposable cloth or otherwise. And wet wipes.

Those disposable wet wipes are in there. They're a big problem. This actually happened in Mar-a-Fall. You went to

primary school there didn't you? I went to primary school there. I grew up around there. So a fat bird the size of a large

school bag blocked the wastewater treatment plant and caused an overflow. So yeah when people are pouring hot oil down the sink. And then it mixes with the cold and the tammies. Especially that go cold, right, and scrape it into the bin.

Or I just use a paper towel and soak it up. I just pour it down there, but then leave the hot tap running for ages and then pour a jug of, if it's looking a bit sluggish on the drain, I pour a couple of jugs of boiling water down. But that only helps your systems. But I'm only on my system. Yeah, he's on the farm, on the farm let. We had our septic tanks emptied recently.

Ew, what's that like? I tell you what, it's quite confronting to look down into a massive hole in the ground and see the waste that you caused. The poo-poos that your family have provided. Yeah. But it was a timely reminder in New Plymouth. Just a little reminder. I want to find this man's name.

Mr. Hall? What is it? Mark Hall. Oh, yeah. Three Waters manager Mark Hall had said fatbergs are a big problem. He said, now remember the three P's. P, poo, and paper. No wet wipes. The only things that you meant to flush. No tampons. problem. He said, now remember the three P's. P, poo and paper.

No wet wipes. The only things that you meant to flush. No tampons. I always thought tampons were okay to flush. I thought that was... No? I think that's like a old school vibe. Your parents are like, yeah, it's fine, but it's not. Yeah, that's why you've got to use that cool machine in the unisex toilets that you wave at it and it goes...

And I'm like, what do you put in there? I didn't see that one. Sometimes when you just sit down, it's like... It's like, oh, I'm sorry my bum hit your sensor. I'm chugging a wide load out here. Get that to buzz up. Do girls ever pretend they're using the force to open that? Because if guys had to use that, I'd imagine they'd be like...

Magic, like, use the force to open it. This is not the tampon you're looking for. Oh, my God. Tampon. I think the novelty's kind of worn off on us. Right, yeah. But next time I'll do it just for you. Yeah.

What do I need to say? No use. This is not the tampon you're looking for. You could do it with those automatic paper towel dispensers. No, because you actually have to tap those most of the time. You've got to wave over. It's like, place your hand here. But the problem is a little bit of paper is always left at the end,

so that's why it never works. You've got to rip that off. Right. 90% of the time I walk through an automatic door, I still do it. Pretend to open the door. How old are you? Using the force, yeah, when we walk up to doors. You always do it. I tend to open the door. Is that why you do that? Using the force, yeah, when we walk up to doors. You always do that.

You just thought he was stretching, doing yoga. No, I'm opening doors. Oh, my God. All right, 13 past six. Speaking of tampons, there's something that you shouldn't put in your... Oh, okay. ...vagita. Details are next.

I like a packed vagina. What? Chicken. Sizzling hot. Sizzling. Sizzling. Sizzling. Sizzling. Sizzling. Sizzling. Sizzling. Sizzling. Sizzling. Details in there. I like a packed vagina. What? Chicken. Sizzling hot. Sizzling. Sizzling. Play. ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan.

This is originated from TikTok. It's fun, but it also has a lot of misinformation and silly challenges on it, like the ice cube challenge, which is where. Much easier than the ice bucket challenge. Yeah. It's just one cube. It's one cube. So this is where you insert an ice cube into your vahine.

Oh, no. Okay, you didn't do that with the ice bucket challenge. You just poured it over your head. No. And apparently it's supposed to improve the big O. So you do it prior to. An Oprah Winfrey interview. Yes.

Prior to your Oprah interview. Did Adele do it before hers? Megan and Harry? There's no word. Interesting. And yeah, it's supposed to help. But they're saying please don't do it because obviously an ice cube. And a lot of them on the TikTok challenge are putting it in water to wash it.

I don't know, like rinse the ice cube, but it still has harmful bacteria. Yeah, but you don't want to put it in when it hasn't been washed because it's like an icy pole in winter. Yeah, yeah, stick to it, right? I was thinking sometimes when you get ice out of the freezer, it's got like crumbs on it or something. Oh, yeah, a bit of fish finger. Yeah, from the upper shelf.

I thought that's why, giving it a rinse. It's funny why ice trays and stuff are always on the top shelf, right? So nothing else, just kind of one of the reasons. But what about frostbite? You shouldn't do this, right? Doctors have said no. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, right.

Mainly because of bacteria. You shouldn't do this, right? Doctors have said no. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, right. Mainly because of bacteria. You shouldn't put things... Yeah, right. Yeah. In it. On it. Up it. Yes, it's very bad for you.

Not to mention, like, just cold and... Very cold. Not proven to help in any way whatsoever. And a weird shape. What do your ice cubes look like? Square. It's got a square edge. Mine's got a rounded edge with a flat top.

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. There's that flat top. Yeah, right. It's got a right angled. Yeah, well, whatever shape. Don't do it. It's like when you accidentally swallow one and you're like, oh, I'm dying.

Okay. You're just going to hold your breath till it melts. You're like. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. So I was reading an article, Megan, this made me think about your mum. Okay. Because she has no smell.

No smell, yeah. Which is, I always give her like scented candles and stuff and she's like, oh, that's lovely. You forget? Yeah, I forget all the time. Or you're like, smell this. And then she's like, nah. Oh, my gosh.

Like, she wouldn't know the house is burning down unless the smoke alarm goes off. So that's happened to her because she's got a gas hob. She's left the gas. You know when you do the tick, tick, tick, tick, and it doesn't ignite? Yes, that's how Sideshow Bob tried to kill Patty or Selma. Yeah. One of the two. Remember that episode of Simpsons?

Everything's an episode of The Simpsons. Everything. Or Friends. Yeah. One of the two. Remember that episode of Simpsons? Everything's an episode of The Simpsons. Everything. Or Friends. Yeah. Or Seinfeld. Everything. Well, a new study estimates that 1.6 million Americans have experienced COVID-related smell loss for longer than six months with little chance of recovery.

Oh my God. It's called, so it's got a name, anosmia. Right. And that's caused by different things, including respiratory viral infections like COVID-19. Because how did your mum lose her smell? They reckon it was from something like that. Like a flu or, right. Yeah, some kind of viral thing.

Because she hasn't had it for years now. Like five years or something. She just got sick one day and she never got her smell back. Never got her smell back. Can she taste? Sometimes, yeah. Most got her smell back. Can she taste? Sometimes, yeah. Most of the time I think she can taste, but... That would be horrible.

It affects... Because, you know, your scent and everything affects what you taste. So it probably tastes really different to her. She can tell when it's like sweet and savoury and all that kind of stuff. But imagine living with... It's not 100%. No. See, that to me, like, that would be enough

for me to get a vaccine. That alone, like, that just would scare me. That kind of stuff. Imagine getting a bag of fruit bursts and they're all the same. That'd be good to be that friend. Well, yeah, because you can polish off all the yuck ones. You can unload them all to the shit ones to your friend that's lost

their taste. Studies estimate that anywhere from 30 to 80% of COVID-19 sufferers can develop a level of anosmia. But research indicated that most, about 90%,

regain their sense in about two weeks. That's good. Still, that's a roll of the dice, isn't it? Yeah. But it would be kind of dangerous.

You can't smell when anything's burning. You're not like, that's the roll of the dice, isn't it? Yeah. But it would be kind of dangerous. Like, you can't smell when anything's burning. You know, like, that's the first indication. Even little things like the toast or something in the oven, you know, oh, better take it out. I can smell that's ready. Can't smell your coffee, your bacon cooking. I don't know. Oh, baking.

Like, it's just flowers, scented candles, just like the little things, you know? It'd be good when you go to open homes, though, eh? Because, you know, they chuck a bit of bread in the oven to try to, you know. Entice you. Entice you, all your senses. You walk in, you're like, your bread won't work on me. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. A new dating trend called hardballing.

It seems to have appeared after COVID. So lockdown gave everyone the space and the time to like re-evaluate their lives, what they wanted. Maybe it's a change of job. Maybe it was divorce. Or an air fryer. Yeah, I mean that. And that's where hardballing has come from.

So because you've reassessed everything and you're more determined in what you want and you don't want to waste time anymore, hardballing is where people are like, look, I know what you want and you don't want to waste time anymore. Hard balling is where people are like, look, I know what I want. If you're not on board with this, we don't have the same morals, then let's just call it what it is.

And everyone's much more determined and focused on getting exactly what they want. Kind of like life's short. Life's short. I'm not going to go on bad dates. You into this? You want kids? Do you want to get married?

No? Okay, sweet. Lay it out. Lay it all out there. Yeah. Yeah, people spend a lot of time alone and a lot of time with their thoughts, I guess. And they've discovered what they want and they're more confident about going out there and getting it. So hardballing is...

That's a good thing. Going to save yourself some time. Yeah. And apparently intentional dating, along the same lines as hardballing, it's just cutting out the nonsense and stuff. So people are, you know, more, you've got more restricted access to like bars and stuff, but also you only want to go there if you are definitely keen. You're like, yes, I like this guy.

It's happening. Okay, let's try. It's more intentional than before. So if you get to the date part. We've got no time for any crap after COVID, eh? Zero time. Life's short, yeah. Life's short.

Punch the hard balls. Get on with it. Yeah. So yeah, if you get to the date. Don't actually punch the hard balls. Be gentle. Not if you like them. Yeah.

Be gentle with the hard balls. Stroke the hard balls. No. No, you know what I mean. The top six is next. Yeah, the top six things to sit on while you're waiting for your furniture to arrive. Yeah, COVID's caused big shipping delays. Some people are waiting six months for their furniture to arrive.

Same with cars as well. A lot of things delayed from overseas. What's that called? The microchip shortage. Oh yeah, there's that too. There's that chip shortage. For cars. Plenty of other chips. I had a lot at the weekend. Yeah, there's so many of those chips. Corn chips, potato chips.

Do you know what's a good chip? The snack-a-changy sour cream and chives. Shut up. Piss off. No. So I normally hate sour cream and chives. It's bad. It's okay for sour cream and chives. Shut up. Piss off. No. Get out. So I normally hate sour cream and chives. It's bad. It's okay for sour cream and chives but if you're getting

Waka Chang you just get your salt and vinegar. No, I used to be all about the salt and vinegar. I can't remember which. I've had one. I think I had the sour cream and chives.

They're good. They're good chips. It's just a good chip. It's a good crunch. He's done a good chip. Old mate's done a good chip. He's done a good chip. We got sidetracked

by chips again, didn't we? Yeah. From the dusty ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hi there. Hello. Hello. Today's top six deals with these massive shipping delays. Apparently furniture and homeware are suffering so many delays

and white women are just in an absolute tizz because... An estate. They've ordered it and they wanted it there for Christmas to show everybody how well they're doing. Is this new furniture, Heather? Oh, this? Yes. Well, you know, the old stuff had been around for six months and sun faded, so we've ditched that.

But, yeah, people are like, oh, my blinds. Where are my rugs and throws? Yeah, this is just life now, right, for a while? It's not the end of the world, champ. But if you have got rid of your old furniture, thinking your new furniture was going to be roving any day, I've got the top six things to sit on while you wait. Okay.

Number six, flip it upside down, and a swapper crate makes a lovely occasional chair. Yeah. Get a little cushion on top of that if you've got one. Absolutely. Absolutely. And when you go to the toilet, take the swapper crate, and you sit on the toilet, and you put your feet on the swapper crate,

and it elevates your knees, and that's a good pooping position. Is it? Okay. Yep. It's a great pooping position. What's his name? Pete Evans. Pete Evans taught you about that?

No, it was somebody else that taught me about that. But then I read that it is actually like how we, before we had toilets, we'd squat, and your knees go a bit higher. Opens up the anus and out comes the poos. Okay, thanks. Thanks for that. Number five on the list

of the top six things to sit on while you wait for your furniture. How about you bring your outdoor furniture inside? That's classy. Some classy stuff, especially if it's that big

old plastic-tubed outdoor furniture that your mum and dad had. Oh, yep. And the stuff you sat on was like plastic net. And you sit on it and it's been raining so your bum gets wet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a had. And the stuff you sat on was like plastic net. And you sit on it and it's been raining so your bum gets wet.

And that stuff in the middle gets brittle and you leave it out and no one sits on it all winter. And then you sit on it and it's wet and it's a little bit mouldy and there's spiders living in the bits where the fabric goes like that and they crawl out because they're like, hey, hey, hey! You're not a fly! Why'd you rattle my web? Number four on the

list of the top six things to sit on while you wait for your furniture. Upturned pots and pans. That would be very uncomfortable. Very short. You have to get right down. Great for the squats, again. Number three on the list of the top six things to sit on while you wait for your furniture. Hammocks.

Oh yeah. Hammocks. Strip up a hammock inside. A lounge hammock would be cool. Climb into it. You could just have two hooks. They always look easy to get into, though. No. And then you're like, over the other side.

And not super, even on a hot day, if you're in a hammock, in the shade, you get cold. Because the air can get right around you. Yeah. You're not laying on something that keeps you warm underneath and then you just kind of, the heat leaves the top of your body. The heat's leaving 360, baby. Yeah, that's true. I'm going to get cold up in that hammock.

But inside, probably not the same problem. Number two on the top six things you can sit on while you wait for your furniture, pallets. Get some of those pallets from your local industrial area, pop them apart. It's time to start a furniture business with zero woodworking experience. Yeah. Nothing like a splinter in the ass to really remind you from your local industrial area, pop them apart. It's time to start a furniture business with zero woodworking experience.

Nothing like a splinter in the ass to really remind you that there's a bit more to furniture than just nailing some stuff together. And number one on the list of the top six things to sit on while you wait for your furniture. No, I'm not going to do that one, Fletch. Fletch was readying his mouse to click out because he thought I was going to say someone's face but I'm not going to say someone's face

the top six things to sit on while you wait for your furniture number one, the floor have you sat on the floor lately? as the face maybe not as punchy but it is good to lay sometimes just grab a cushion and sit on the floor or lie on the floor it's good

you've got a good bloody underlay on that carpet. As comfy as a bed. That is today's top six. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan. Kia ora, this is Toby Manhai. I'm the host of Gone By Lunchtime, a podcast for the spin-off podcast network all about politics and politicians,

with me, Annabel Lee-Mather, and Ben Thomas, careering wildly from the very serious to the very ridiculous. It's not for everyone. I don't think it would be Ellen's cup of tea, but you, I reckon, will love it. Gone by lunchtime. Grab one now wherever you get your podcasts.

ZM. We're just telling Megan off for online shopping. I ordered something from Italy and it got here in a week. What did you get from Italy? What did you get from Italy? What did you get from Italy? That's what happened. I don't want to tell you. Because you'll be angry.

That's what she said. I don't know why I brought it up. Of course you'll be bloody angry. Okay. Tomato sauce. Yeah, TikTok has gone viral because she ordered down tomato sauce. She's done this sort of stuff before. She does.

Where is she based? Hell. Is this like your classic Waddy's tomato sauce? Nah, it's Heinz. Heinz in American. Right. Yeah, she does. Satirical food content.

She put some tomato sauce in a ramekin and then topped it up with water. Double the health for twice the price because I'm watering down the sugar in the dyes. But then like it doesn't stick to the fry and everyone's just like you're a horrible person. You're still eating them though. Who watered a sauce ratio was out of whack.

Way too much water. But it did remind me of like a family we knew growing up. They'd water down everything because they had heaps of kids. And they'd come to our house and they'd be like, why is your sauce so thick? And I'd be like, oh, because mum chose to just stop at three. She wasn't like,

I'll have nine children and I'll water down their sauce. God, you would have if you had that many kids, you would have to make things go further. Yeah. They bought a big jug. You know those Gilmore's sized. The big catering size. The five litre jugs.

Yeah. And then they just pour it into another sauce bottle and then fill that up with water and shake it. Shake it up. Surely you'd have the kids sauce and then mum and dad sauce. Mm. Why is your sauce so much thicker? Because we don't just squirt a gallon of it on a plate.

Stop wasting so much sauce! But yeah, they watered it down. Looking back on it, we thought we were hard done by it, but mum also mixed powdered drinks to the correct ratio. Two sachets for two litres. See, we had the watered down Raro. I'm sorry. Yeah, there was always Raro. I'm sorry. Yeah.

Yeah, there was always like Raro packets that were rolled up in the pantry because we'd used half. And a litre. But why not get a two litre and just use one or fill it three quarters? Everybody, and this went even into high school. Yeah. I'd take a drink bottle to school full of cordial. Which looking back on it now, how many people are still taking cordial to school? It was the 90s. Give me a break.

You'd take water right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd take water. Because, like, the school water was manky out of those bubble taps anyway. But, I mean, schools probably have filtered water now. Oh! So, I used to take cordial to school, and people called it Kiwitae Orange, because that's where my parents

lived. And I was the only kid whose parents didn't, like, ratio this the cordial full strength cordial yeah and so i'd pour everybody like little did you charge shots shots little shots of kiwete orange and people were like oh that's the good stuff we'd be ready to go for lunch jazzed up on show wow and so they had weak raro they had weak raro wow it wasn't Kete Orange, that's for sure. You had a whole drink bottle full of like full strength. Yeah, 750 ml drink bottle full of oil. That's actually a day for each child.

Yeah. You'd have to have a big jug and you'd get the funnel and you'd pour it from the big jug into your drink bottle. I tell you what, if the lid came loose in your bag, sticky mess. Oh, yeah. Horrible. Absol, sticky mess. Oh yeah, horrible. Absolute sticky mess. But no, we didn't,

we were pretty lucky actually looking back on it. We didn't water down a lot. But I know people, there'll be people listening, children of the 80s and 90s. Oh, 100%. Because parents had to make,

you know, make stuff go further. I mean, it's probably still happening. Oh, 100%. Watering down. That's all we want to talk about this morning.

Well, how did, or what, just how did your parents make something go the extra mile? Toothpaste. Because I remember when I went to somebody's house, their mum was like, brush your teeth. And I went, and put like the full brush load of toothpaste on. To be fair, that's what the ads do. Yeah.

And she was like, ah, pea-sized. And I was like, huh? Because we just always did the ads do. Yeah. And she was like, ah, pea-sized. And I was like, huh? Because we just always did the whole brush. Chocker with toothpaste. And then you'd put it under a hard tap and it would blow half of it off so you'd have to put some more on. Yes.

But I remember her mum going, ah, pea-sized. When your parents made, like your mum made meatloaf, right? When my mum made bristles, she'd put like half a loaf of bread in it and I think breadcrumbs are supposed to stick it together but we would have big chunks of bread now. Oh.

Yeah. And we'd have big like lumpy bits. Some of it was soggy and it's like to make it go further. Yeah, but that's fair enough. We had breadcrumbs and meatloaf but I think that was to hold it together. But mum was a shocker for making like scrambled eggs for like all of us.

And she'd put in three eggs and then just like heaps of milk. And she'd just stand there for ages stirring it, being like, it'll be ready soon. And like three days later, it's like. But then you get egg and there's like yellowy water on the plate. Very correct.

Very correct as to how I remember eggs. All right, well, 0800DARLS.NM. Want to take your calls this morning? You can text in as well, 9696. How did your parents make it go further? Was it watering it down? Was it adding something in? Yeah.

We're talking about how your mum, your dad, your parents, your grandparents made something go further. It could be watering it down. It could be adding in some filler. A woman on TikTok has gone viral watering down tomato sauce. Yeah. Absolute crime.

Yeah. But then, like you said, if you've got a family of 10 kids. You've got to make it go, don't you? You would absolutely go through some tomato sauce. Absolutely. Some calls in. Callum. Yes.

Good morning. Good, good. What did the parents make go further? My mum would use an old Nutella jar and swap it out for, like, cheap chocolate spread. Oh, and so she'd have to, like, get the cheap chocolate spread and would she just spatula it in and hope you didn't notice? Yeah, it was more for my sister.

She said she wouldn't eat anything but Nutella. And did it. She was in love with the marketing in the jar, wasn't she? Not the content inside. Yeah. And did that work? For about a year. Oh, really? Until my mum actually said, look, you've been eating this.

And then she still only eats Nutella now though. I like that mum was so smug she'd got away with it for a year. She just had to tell her. Just to rub it in her face. If you're looking for a Christmas present for your sister, I can see here a 3kg bucket of Nutella for $53 online. Oh, that's a week or so, maybe.

Oh, my God! Because I was looking, I wanted to know the price difference because sometimes mums would go to all this effort to save like 19 cents. Yeah. Yeah. I think Nutella's a bit more expensive than the budget branch she was using.

Callum, thanks for your call. Vanessa, what did the parents do to grandad? It was my grandad. Yeah, like I used to go in the trucks with my dad and we used to call into his for lunch and he used to water down spaghetti, a tin of spaghetti. Oh! So it would go further.

No, but what? It was just watery sauce. Yeah, yeah. With nettle bits. Yeah. But then did the sauce even stick to the spaghetti? No, just the bread. Because he didn't even toast his bread.

He would just put it on bread so the bread would just soak it all up. So the old granny. That would be like seeing a naked spaghetti, wouldn't it? Yeah. Because there's no sauce on it. It was pretty bad, so today I do not eat spaghetti. I don't want to see a naked spaghetti. And someone walks by you, they're just over here,

and you say to your granny, don't make us look at the naked spaghetti. Call the police. Call the police. Call the police. Thanks for your call, Vanessa're just over here. You said you're granted. Don't make us look at the naked spaghetti. Call the police. Call the police. Call the police. Thanks for your call, Vanessa. Some messages in. Someone said the worst they'd ever gotten in our family was four litres of water to one

Raro sachet. Oh, no. It was so bad the water was barely even covered. Coloured. Four litres to it. Yeah. Yeah. Someone said, Do you remember when

Powdered cordial Latraro What was the other one? Quench No Quench was a Leprechaun Vitafresh

That's right Raro And there was another one But it used to come in a pottle And it would be like Two scoops per litre Oh really Yeah they said

That got We got that once And mum and dad weren't home and we made ourselves actual cordial to the actual strength recommended by the cordial manufacturers and we went bananas. Mum and dad came home and it was like we were just climbing the walls with Ted touring the house to bits. My mum was a shocker for tomato sauce.

She used to, we'd start with a container of tomato sauce and then after the first use, when there was a bit gone, she'd add water and shake it. And then next time, how much was gone, she'd top it up with water and shake it until literally it was just barely red water by the end of things. What are you doing, man?

My dad. My dad used to have a few drinks and top his own booze up, his own booze in the bottle up with water, so mum wouldn't know how much he had to drink. He's just shortchanging himself, though, down the track. Yeah. My dad would have done tomato sauce, milk. But if you bought blue top, you'd just be getting two bottles of green, right tomato sauce, milk. Oh.

But if you bought blue top, you'd just be getting two bottles of green, right? Yeah, basically. Is that how it works? And dishwashing liquid. Oh, okay. He'd separate out the dishwashing liquid and top it out with water because when we were kids, we'd always be like, and put a big squeeze in. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Someone said refresh. That was the other brand. Refresh was the powdered. Was the refresh the one that came in three sachets? I think that was five. Yeah. Someone said refresh. That was the other brand. Refresh was the powdered. Was the refresh the one that came in three sachets? I think that was by each other. And there was like three different flavours, like passion, punch. Like you get the tropical ones, yeah.

Sweet navel orange. Mango orange was always the best cordial flavour. And I'll die on this. I'm like a raspberry. Get out. The raspberry cords. See yourself. Colour free, of course.

Oh yeah, mum switched to colour free. Oh my god. See yourself. Colour free, of course. Oh yeah, mum, switch to colour free. Oh my god. And then that thrifty quench stuff. You take shots of that and then six months later you'd forget how awful it was and you'd try it again. You'd be like, it's burning! ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. We have our phones

everywhere and the survey has looked into when we use our phones and how much. It's quite confronting. 99% of people that responded to the survey said they use their cell phone while they're watching TV. Why do we do that?

Because like... Well, yeah, you're dual screening, aren't you? Unless it's something like a movie I'm really looking forward to or a TV show, I'll put my phone away. But most of the time, 95% of the time, on my phone. Because I'll be like Christmas shopping or something on my phone while watching the TV. Yeah.

Sort of watching. I'm struggling with that at the moment because I'm watching Narcos Season 3 Mexico. And it's a lot of subtitles. And then I'll miss bits And I have to go back Because I'm on my phone Why don't we just watch I know Just watch the show

I know You like the show I love the show But then yeah I mean 99% of people do it So 78% See they'll watch

Or go through apps and stuff While they're at a concert Oh now I won't do that I won't do that. Go through apps. Are you scrolling through Instagram or something? I don't do that.

Because you're paid to be there. I can't remember what it was like at a concert. I'll get my phone out to take a picture or take a video that's really distorted. Sometimes if it's one of their songs I don't like, I'll pop on a podcast and I'll just say, hey, give me a nudge when it's one of the radio singles

because these album tracks aren't for me. But this one interested me. So one in three have said that they have looked at their phone and cleared notifications whilst having sex. Wow. How? I don't know. Like, because your partner's going to notice, right?

They're going to notice. Not if, oh, it depends what position. If you're doing the position, like. The position is God meant it. A man and woman looking into each other's eyes. They're going to know. Yeah, that would be a hard one to get away with. Yeah.

But yes. I'm doing charades. I mean, there are some situations you can hide. I think if someone's on the phone while you're making love to them, it's not that. They're not present, really, are they? Who's to blame? At least they're looking up what you're going to do next.

Yeah, okay. You've got an app on your phone that randomises that. So that's during but then 40% say that it's the first thing they do afterwards as well. Well you might have missed a message or something.

You should always urinate I'm told. What? That should be the first, I'm told. What? That should be the first thing you do afterwards. Oh, yeah, right. Just to avoid one of those nasty urinary tract infections. You don't need another UTI, do you? Absolutely not. Oh, yeah, I meant a bloody cranberry juice. I was keeping Ribena in business.

Well, that's why my UTI wouldn't go away. I was drinking the wrong juices. Yeah. If only Rara had done a cranberry. I would have mixed one up right then and there in an old milk bottle. Shaking it like it's a cocktail. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. On the show on Friday, we were talking about the things that you've just never been able to do, even as an adult.

Try as you might, you've never been able to quite nail something. And that was when he heard from Gav and his situation with eggs. Hello, Gav. Good morning, guys. Back on the show on Monday because we sent you the challenge over the weekend to perfect a soft-boiled egg

using a technique passed down from Lord Alayella Chokona. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. To me and pass on to you, Gav. This was drag race. She'd be my drag mother and I'd be your drag mother. That's true.

Now, for those that missed it, the correct time we said was six minutes. Six minutes in boiling water. Remove immediately into an ice bath. Now, Gav, how did this go at the weekend? Well, it actually went really well. Oh, my God, Gav. I was extremely suspicious of your instructions because I am a boomer and we don't trust anybody younger than us. Yeah, good.

Oh, the boomers are going to get rid of you now because you're not supposed to say that out loud. Yeah. That's a secret. So I Googled it to check. Okay. Which is a good boomer thing to do. On the iPad?

Yeah, on the laptop. Okay, good, okay. And no, it was absolutely perfect. Absolutely 100% spot on. So for the first time in your life, Gav, you managed to make a hard-boiled egg with a runny yolk. Yep. First time I've been able to do it, yeah.

Did you get a big smile on your face as you were dipping your toasted breadsticks in there and yumming them up? Oh, hell yeah. Good to hear, Gav. Oh, you did have soldiers. I'm glad. See, look at this.

Generationally, there's a bonding here. It's a bonding here. We need to find other areas of life where this sort of thing... Exactly. I won't be so suspicious of young people anymore. You've done good things here. You sent a lovely photo in, Gav,

of your soldiers, and you've got the little egg container. I can see the cracked pepper on there. That looks perfect. You've done so well. I thought you might like the egg cup. The egg cup has got a chicken and a bonnet beside it, Gav. The chicken's going like, yes, eat my unborn.

Straight out of the op shop. Yeah. Oh, love it. That's so good. Oh, Gav, there you go. So there you go, from the Lord. What is that? Some toasted Molenberg beside it?

Is that what the brand of bread is? No, what have we got there? I can't remember now. Yes, I think it is. Yes, it is. Yeah, it's a classic Molenberg. It's a classic Molenberg, yeah. Well, Gav, I'm so happy that's worked out for you.

Excellent. So am I. I can have them again this week. Yeah! A new man this is the this is the kind of wholesome content we need

2021 it really is generations bonding thank you so much Gav for calling back and all the best in the future

with your egg devours oh now that's a worse dad joke than I do yeah just being called out and this Friday we're going to try to convince Gav to take responsibility for global warming.

No, I'm only kidding. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Well, out of a city out of the US, 44% of American adults say they don't want a child because the future seems too bleak. Can you stop doing your word cross, please? I can do both. No, you can't. That's the part of my brain

You really can't I had a response already I thought well the future seems a whole lot brighter When you've got that beautiful little bundle in your arms See that was as I wrote next Downwards It was I already had it there Put the crossword down please

Do two things at once It's not a crossword it's a word fit Go on what else have you got for me? It's the same thing It's just to get around the crossword copyright No because I've got a crossword just right next to it on the puzzle page. It's just a different sort of cross. It's a different sort of word.

Well, 44% of adults aged 18 to 49 said they simply just do not want to have children. 49? That's getting up there, isn't it? That's like getting up to the... See, if I think if you're at that end of the scale and you haven't had kids and you don't want them, you're pretty set in it. But on the earlier ones, you might change your mind. You just can't see your life having a kid then and there.

Well, since 2018, it's a 7% decrease. So less and less people. Right. I'm wanting kids. Yeah. And it was what? I'll just think of it. The people who You disagree with

Who in your mind Would be making The world worse Yeah They're not slowing down With their baby making Well we They keep making

More and more babies So then in the next generation They're gonna outnumber you And then democracy works In the favour of the majority That's a Sounds very grim A terrible way of looking at it

Well it was only last week We said that in New Zealand So that study was out of America In New Zealand there was a lockdown baby boom The number of births in 2021 this year Is the highest since 2015 I want to know what happened in 2014-2015

That caused that Yeah I don't know Because I can understand now the lockdown You can't go anywhere, so you let loose. It's like when there's a mini baby boom when the power goes out. That's right. Do you remember that? Yeah.

Was that a rolling brownout year, 2014? 2015. The early 2000s, there was the rolling brownouts when the hydroelectric dams were very low, and so people had to cuddle together for warmth. Yeah, and they would often just, you'd only be getting a little bit of your power and it was probably mostly diverted

to hot water. And so that caused a little bit of a baby burn because people were getting... I feel like in 2014, 2015, it was a good time. Well, it feels like looking back, retrospectively looking back, rose to the glasses. It was before a whole lot of stuff that made it all go sideways.

But maybe there was something going on then too. ZM's Fleshworn and Megan. Play ZM. Now, I want to say before we say this story, there's no word as to whether or not intoxication levels. We're involved. We're involved, yeah. No mention of booze.

Okay. But a Boston-based TikToker, she swallowed her Apple AirPod after mistaking it for ibuprofen. She was crawling into bed and I had an ibuprofen in my right hand and a left AirPod in my left hand and I threw something back

and I took my water bottle and took a big sip then I realised it wasn't the ibuprofen. Oh wow. Okay, booze definitely. Booze, yeah, booze, right? This is the classic

pre-beard neurofen. Yeah. Is that even a good idea? Because I was, you're not meant to do a panty, eh? You're not meant to do a panty.

Apparently that mixes with the alcohol. Wasn't that a news story thing? What does it do when it mixes with the alcohol? Makes a that a news story thing? What does it do when it mixes with the alcohol? Makes a panadol-tini. Makes a pan-yes. The hot new drink coming to a bar near you.

A panatini. It'll give you a headache and get rid of it at the same time. The panatini. But it's not a good idea to mix any form of medication with alcohol. Is it? Well, because alcohol is a drug with alcohol. Is it? Well, because, yeah, alcohol's a drug too, isn't it? Nothing.

So she got an X-ray later on and it had passed through and there was no damage done to her insides. She pooped it right on out. Because they're an odd shape, aren't they? They're kind of the bulbous bit and then the stick. Yeah, hard to swallow even with a mouthful of water I would have thought the new ones are a bit less sticky, aren't they? A little less sticking out Yeah, a little less sticking out

So that might have been what she swallowed She put up a video of herself freaking out Trying to regurgitate it and stuff So I mean, she saw the potential for some bloody virality In her perilous situation Does it connect via Bluetooth when it's in your body? So later on, a friend called her and she answered the phone while

the remaining earbud was charging, but because the other one wasn't in the charge kit, it automatically connected Bluetooth and her friend could hear like... No! I'm guessing what a baby could hear in the womb. Like an ultra sound. No, the rural

was her talking. Oh, right. Just put it up to your mouth. What are you doing? Yeah, well, her friend didn't know, but she said, yeah, it's passed through, no damage done.

In 2019, another man swallowed an AirPod while sleeping. He went to sleep with it in his ear and he woke up and he couldn't find it. And he used the Find My iPhone to play a beeping sound. And instead of beeping, he was like, it's coming from inside me.

Yeah, and when it came out of him, he rescued her. She didn't rescue hers. She let it go. Oh, yeah, no, let it go. You're not reusing. Because when your stomach acid messes up. He said, when it came out, I cleaned it. The battery was still at 41% and it works.

Wow. That's a glowing review. Yeah, so it went through and worked entirely. Now, 41% battery left at the end of it all too. Good Lord. That's pretty good stuff. That's amazing. Yeah, he accidentally swallowed it.

She accidentally swallowed it. So we want to know this morning what you've accidentally swallowed. I can see where this is going. You know what was happening. What have you, maybe got confused with something else and swallowed it? Or had something in your mouth and swallowed it? My mate Robsy swallowed

a 20 cent piece and it never came out. How does he know it's never come out? Well, it's an old 20 cent piece. You're going to feel that. I'm indicating the size of an old 20 cent piece. I don't to feel that. I'm indicating the size of an old 20 cent piece. Not if it was sideways. His butt's not a

coin slot. It doesn't expand horizontally or vertically. It's a butthole. It goes open like that. From the centre piece. Has your mate Robsy had an x-ray? I don't know. I'm going to message him now asking him

if that ever came out because it didn't at the time. Right, okay. Imagine if he did some years later and it was really shiny because it had been

sitting in there and the stomach acid had washed off all of the old... Like one of those videos where they pour coke on an old rusty nail and they're like,

look what it does. Yeah, it comes out super shiny 20 cent piece. Maybe it was one of those early morning, you know, like you're half asleep and you think you're reaching for your pill, your vitamin or something, and you accidentally take something else. Yeah.

Yeah. Or you've accidentally swallowed an AirPod. I don't know. What else could you accidentally? I mean, you know, I'm sure hospitals and emergency staff and x-rays, what do they call those x-rays? Radiographers. Radiologists. Radiologists. Radiographers. Radiog-rays, what do they call those x-rays? Radiographers? Radiologists.

Radiologists? Radiographers. Radiog. Oh, we do this every time. What are the x-rays? It's radiographers. Radiologists. Radiologists.

Radiologists are the doctors. Radiographers are the people that do the x-rays. But radiologists are the specialists. The ones that read it. That read it. Yeah. Right. Are you sure about that?

Are you standing by that? Radiologists are the ones that don't have to wear the lead vest and radiographers are just taking a face full of nuclear energy every day. Right. That's right. But getting paid less to do it. Lucky man. Well, 0800DARLS at M.

Want to take your calls now. You can text as well, 9696. What have you accidentally swallowed? The special for Adele on TVNZ tonight. Which one? One or two? Two Seven thirty

So good with the info So a woman in Boston has gone viral After accidentally swallowing one of her AirPods Thinking it was like Nurofen or Panadol Definitely drunk Passed through Yeah

Passed through She made no attempt to She didn't keep it Nah she. Nah, she didn't try to fish it out. That's gone. Go through a civil. That's gone. You're not putting that in your ear after it's been all the way through, are you? So we want to talk about why you've accidentally swallowed some text messages in.

My mum's friend ate a bee. She thought it was a piece of muffin that had fallen onto her chest while she was eating a piece of muffin, so she picked it up and put it in her mouth and swallowed it. Had to be rushed to hospital. She was allergic and it stung her on the inside. Wait, when she picked it up and put it in her mouth and swallowed it. Had to be rushed to hospital. She was allergic and it had stung her on the inside. Wait, when she picked it up, was she not like, oh, this is a fluffy muffin? It wasn't like wriggling or anything.

Muffins are fluffy. But that's the thing, it would be the buzzing of the wings and the frantic moving. A frantic world for survival. Although, you know, like when a mum sees a bit of muffin, they're straight in there. Would have had no time. Would have had no time.

And probably a firm grip too. Yeah. You know, I haven't heard back from my mate Rob's who swallowed that 20 cent piece, so he might be dead now. But someone said, my six-year-old swallowed a 20 cent piece and it took two weeks to pass through. And it was black when it came out, not shiny and clean. Oh, okay.

My husband fished it out because little master six was so worried it would stay in him forever, he needed proof that it had come out. Was that a new 20 cent piece or an old? I hope for the 60 year old's sake it was a new one. Anonymous joins us. What did you accidentally swallow, Anonymous? Hey there. So I might actually just, I'm not too worried about being anonymous now, just because

I have a feeling my sister might be listening in Christchurch. Right. I'll put my first name out there, and two of my friends are listening in Christchurch, so my name's Gareth. Okay. Gareth. Hey guys, so first of all, big fan of the show, thanks for the morning drop. Thank you, thank you. Thank you you guys yeah yeah all right see um so uh

formal at my high school formal after party yeah and we've entered this game where you put a drink bottle in a drink bottle cap in someone's drink and they have to finish their drink so like you're the whole point is you're not gonna get bottle caps. Yeah. Yeah Looking at my makeup. I just bottle kept you sorry All right, and I you know finish the drink and I look back and I go in bottle cap me and he goes Yes, you get that And then so I'm looking at the bottle. I think did you definitely put something in there and it turns out? I might swallow the entire bottle cap and one go with the drink To get the bottle cap in you have to fold it in half.

So I've now got this, like, pointy bottle cap in my system. And it's never come out? Well, no, it has come out. And the reason I know it's come out is because after it went through, I thought it would be a really good idea to sanitise it thoroughly. And I didn't want to forget about, you know, high school form and all that. So I've now got it on my keychain.

Gareth, we're going to need to see a photo of that. That would be fantastic, please. Thank you, sir. I will happily send you guys a photo of it. Why were you worried about it? Get anonymous at the start. Like, does mum not know? Who are you worried about finding out about this?

Oh, no, my whole family knows. I was just more worried about people who I work with professionally knowing because my workplace listens to ZDM and I'm about to drive there now. Oh, right. Well, they'll definitely not be able to tell it to you. Gareth. Yeah, definitely not. I can't wait to see what nickname you get out of this, Gareth. This sounds like a nickname story,

and I'm sure the people at your workplace will be working on something right now for your arrival. Oh, I'm sure they will. I'm sure they will. Hey, thanks for your call. Let's go to Tony. Tony, what did you accidentally swallow? Not me, but my daughter.

She accidentally swallowed a piece of glass, thinking it was ice. Oh, no. Oh, my God. I think it was only, like, quite accidentally swallowed a piece of glass thinking it was ice. Oh, no. Oh, my God. I think it was only, like, quite a small little piece, and she picked it up off the lawn of all places, actually. Was it like one of those bits of safety glass, how it smashes into, like, a little...

Yeah, it was, like, probably that size, but I think it was from a cup because it got smashed on the lawn and she thought it was ice and she picked it up and swallowed it. Oh, no. It's been a few hours in A&E, but they didn't x-ray it. They said they didn't think they could see it because it's being glassed. So, yeah.

Oh. We don't even know if it came out, but I'm sure it did. Oh, my God. Well, we're laughing about it now, so enough time's passed, I'm guessing. She's obviously okay. Yeah, yeah, it was a couple of years ago now, yes. Oh, we're in the clear, we're in the clear. Tony, thanks for your call.

Sandy, what did you accidentally swallow? Again, it wasn't me, it was my son. Okay. At 11 years old, decided that a fishing sinker was nice and cold in his mouth, and his cousin pushed his cheeks together, and it went straight down into his stomach. Like a lead sinker. A lead sinker. He gave himself lead poisoning from swallowing a lead sinker.

And he's okay now. He's okay now. He's okay now. It took about five days to come out. A whole lot of poop bags to catch it in. But yes, five days. Because I would have thought you would have got a sieve and then just, like, chucked out the sieve.

Oh, no, just a bag. A bag makes more sense, actually. All right, good to know. Sandy, thanks for your call. Some messages in. When I was five, I ate rat poison at school thinking it was blue cheese. So here we've got a five-year-old familiar with blue cheese that likes blue cheese and sees rat poison and is like,

that must be very blue cheese. What five-year-old loves blue cheese that likes blue cheese and sees rat poison and is like, that must be very blue cheese. What five-year-old loves blue cheese? Like, it took me ages to like blue cheese. Even now, sometimes I'm like, nah. This is the bad thing.

I was told children would never like blue cheese so I thought we'd be safe but Indy likes blue cheese and so we're having cheese and she'll come and just cut herself off a big segment of blue cheese

and I'm like, this is supposed to be my dad's cheese. Tell her to have the plastic sliced cheese. Yeah, plastic sliced cheese. Good enough for everybody. My dad ate bird shit.

He thought it was mayonnaise. He wiped it off the table with his finger and put it on now. I accidentally swallowed a magnifying glass out of a Christmas cracker and my glass of rum

pulled the cracker. The magnifying glass went splop into my drink and I didn't know and I drank it and down went the magnifying glass. I mean, it's not really a magnifying glass went splop into my drink, and I didn't know, and I drank it, and down went the magnifying glass. I mean, it's not really a magnifying glass, is it? Just a little bit of plastic.

Anyway, it's slightly thicker in the middle, and it does what it magnifies. I don't know if you could start a fire with it, but... Seven-year-old. When I was seven, I sold out a 20-cent coin. Coming home from Rotorua for my holidays, sold out the coin. Happy end to the holiday with a manic rush to Middlemore

Hospital. X-rays were hilarious to my parents. Mum's kept the coin. Still got the coin. I swallowed a marble when I was four and for years I blamed my younger sister for making me swallow it until I was in my 20s and mum points out that my sister was only six months old at the time so there's absolutely no way she could have made me do that.

I'm just going to see if there's absolutely no way she could have made me do that. Oh, yeah. Okay, I'm just going to see if there's some other ones because that's definitely going to be the punch out on that one. This is the one to end, is it? Yep. I swallowed a ball off the back of a piercing. Oh, the little screwballs? Yeah.

It wasn't my piercing. It wasn't a tongue piercing. Okay. I've worked that out. Really? You've always got a tight in those balls. Now, they didn't clarify if it's a nipple. It might have been a nipple.

Oh, yeah. You went straight downstairs. You went straight to downstairs. You went the better story. That's cute. Someone said, I got to the, I saw, I'd been eating a bag of chips. Walked away, came back, thought there's still some chips in the back, in the bottom of that.

Shook it, heard the chips. Tipped the chips into my mouth and swallowed. When my husband was looking at me going. I just clipped my toenails into that bag. Yuck. Yuck, yuck, yuck. Yeah, we're not beating that, are we? That's real yuck Toenails too, like toenails

Meg-ass husband toenails Yuck ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan Fact of the day Day, day, day, day I do-do-do-do-do Do-do-do-do-do Do-do-do-do-do Do-do-do-do-do Today's fact of the day is Russian priests of the Russian Orthodox Church every day on the Church's Day of Sobriety

take to the air to holy water bomb the city. They believe the citizens of the Russian city of Piva, T-V-E-R, are so engaged in drunkenness and casual sex that they need to be cleansed. And the only way to cleanse them is to bomb them from the air with holy water on this day. So they go up, there's a whole lot of holy water,

and then from the helicopter, they tip it out, they like throw it out with cups and try to spread it across as much of the city as possible so that a misting of holy water falls across the whole city to cleanse them of there.

This just sounds like they want a helicopter ride. Yeah, it sounds like a free helicopter. Or they're disguising it as like a trip to their, whatever their Waiheke Island is, vineyard. Oh, you're thinking of going for a bit of a vineyard. And then they just disguise it as a work trip, scatter some holy water.

The IRD is not asking any questions about personal use. Yeah. So, but the IRD is not going to ask any questions about the tax legality of sprinkling holy water on a whole city. Well, it's work. I guess it is. Yeah, it's work.

It's another good reason to have a church. Everything could be work. Yeah, everything's work. Yeah. God, it's a great idea. So, apparently one of the times they've come to the agreement that they'll use 70 litres of specially sanctified holy water because one time they tried to take up more

and the aircraft was overloaded and it made for a very sketchy takeoff that they were worried that they might not. But then what's the worst that's going to happen? If it crashes and they die? It's just a fast forward straight to heaven. Straight to heaven. Every time if you were like a priest, the plane took off or there was some turbulence, wouldn't you be like,

today's the day, yes. And everyone's like, ah! And you're like, yay! Plumb it to earth! I don't know if that's how it works. It should be. So, today's fact of the day is Russian Orthodox priests take to the sky

every September on the Russian Orthodox Church Day of Sobriety and sprinkle a city with holy water in a hope to get them to stop having so much casual sex and drunkenness. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. And Vaughan on an absolute winning hop streak. Joining us to play this morning is Holly. Good morning, Holly. Morning. Good morning. Now, Vaughan's going to ask you five questions about your mum

and then is going to try and guess her name. Now, last week or the week before, it was an absolute disaster, wasn't it? Well, no, I got it. But it was the fact that I was just going through the process and I say some names when I'm going through the process. Not every name, but some of the names, and the caller blurted out, yes, that's my mum's name before the timing had even started.

So if you do hear Vaughan say your mum's name, just hold off until we get to the 15 second quickfire round. Vaughan, first question for Holly. I've had to, what I'm going to have to do is usually I scribble on a piece of paper, but this printing today is all double sided, so I don't have, so what I'm going to have to do is usually I scribble on a piece of paper, but this printing today is all double-sided, so I don't have, so what I'm going to do,

I've got the questions written on a Word document, and I'm going to fill out that on the puzzle page of the paper. Okay, right. I'm going to write the names around. First question. Get it around. What's your mum's favourite holiday destination, Holly? Um, I'm not 100% sure on her favourite, but I'm going to go with like a tropical island, destination, Holly?

I'm not 100% sure on her favourite, but I'm going to go with a tropical island. She sounds like a... Is she a Noosa mum? Has she been to Noosa? I don't think she's been to Noosa, but she has lived in the Cayman Islands for a few years. Oh!

Okay. What does she do there apart from dodge tax? Well, she actually had her first child there. Was that you or not? No, it wasn't me. A lot of Kiwis live in the Cayman Islands.

It's like Dubai, you don't pay tax. Oh, sweet. Good for me to know later on. Yeah. I can't believe mum hasn't already told you that. Mum, of course, her name is Jenny. Do you reckon?

Jackie. I was going to say Sandy, but that's only because of the beaches. I'll do it. You might be right. You might be right. That's good. Lisa. Is there anyone you remember growing up

who liked to dodge tats? Yes, but I don't feel naming them would be good for them. They could still be looked into. Yeah. Okay, right. Even though what's the statute of limitations? BID. Seven years?

That sort of thing. Isn't it? No. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Okay. Okay, next question. What's your mum's date of birth?

It is the 10th of October, 1971. Okay. The 10th of October. The 10th. So it's going to be like a real... So she's just turned 50 this year. Yeah. Happy birthday to...

To... It's not going to be an old mum's name. It's going to be like a... It could be a Rebecca. It could be a... Yeah. Rebecca. It could be a...

Joanna. Oh, you're right. Joanna. Yeah, right. I'm going to put Joanne. You're really filling the J names. I do have a Jackie and a Jenny and a Joanne so far. Could be a Leanne.

Leanne or a Leanne or a, yeah. I was going to say Leanne, but that's a rarer name. What's your mum's favourite colour? Like what colour is she fond of? Maybe she's got, like, she wears the same colour all the time or her cars are all the same colour. Have been some. She quite likes, I mean, she wears a lot of pink,

but I think she quite likes her green. Pink and green. So she's out there. Green. Because a lot of mums just stick to black. We've all got red hair, so the green, you know, goes with our hair colour. Oh, yeah, it goes well, yeah. Okay, does pink go with red hair?

Like baby pink, you know? Okay, okay. That's given Vaughn some... I've had to turn the paper to go down the side now. Some names, all right. What are you thinking there? I'm thinking of some people I knew that liked to wear pink. Okay, right.

Is Christine into pink? Nah, she's more of a purple. Oh, okay. She doesn't know where she's at now. Yeah, right. Maybe she'd be more of a dark green. Yeah. Well, you just chuck a Christine down, you never know.

Yeah, could put a Christine down. About the same age. Oh Yeah. Well, you just chuck a Christine down. You never know. Yeah, you can't chuck a Christine down. About the same age. Oh, stop it, you. Christine would like to hear that. She'd like to hear that. Chuck a free one in there. Chuck a free one for Christine. What are your mum's siblings' names?

So there's Sean, Liam, Kirstie and Jo. Oh, okay. Is Jo a girl? Yes. So that's really Joanne. Joanne's off the top. Cross Joanne off. But you did guess your auntie's name, but that's not the game.

What was your other auntie's name? Kirstie. Kirstie. I didn't have a Kirstie, so it's not going to be a K. Yeah, so it's one of those names that's like, yeah. Could be a Fiona, you know what? Yeah, Chuck and Fiona on the list. Could be a Rachel.

Yeah. Rachel. Do I have a Rachel? I've got a Rebecca, but now I've got a Rachel. Now you've got to do a Monica and a Lisa. Okay. Oh, no, wait. No, it's a Monica and a Phoebe.

And Phoebe, yeah, yeah. Phoebe. And a Lisa. Do a Lisa. And a Lisa. And a Courtney. To Alisa. And Alisa. And Courtney. And Jennifer. You've got Jennifer?

Okay, cool. I already got Jenny. I'm just covering my friends' characters there. Yeah. And what's mum's favourite TV show? What show does she always watch? They're always watching Wentworth, mum and dad. Wentworth, okay dad Wentworth Okay

And A bit of Grey's Anatomy Oh okay She's a young Mum Oh and we also All enjoyed A bit of Schitt's Creek

Oh Yes I can't imagine My mum getting on board With that Great show Okay Those are your

Five questions Vaughn. Yep. Have you got all the names? You don't want any more? Okay, well, Holly, Vaughn now has 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name. If you hear it, yell out, stop, that's my mum's name. Your time starts. Oh, hold on, wait.

Someone brought up a very good point. What? You haven't mentioned Karen. Got to put a Karen on the list. Oh, always put a Karen on the list, yeah, absolutely. Karen, they can be young Karens. And hold on, somebody asked me, so they want a Michelle.

Okay. That's good. I'm, I know now. Okay, Kelly, and that's the last one. No, and Helen. And then if you put our, Helen's our accountant, so you've got to put Azito. She's the other accountant.

Oh, Jesus, me. I'm dragging all the accountants in. All right. Here we go. Okay. Your time starts now. Angela, Jackie, Jenny, Sandy, Lisa, Rebecca, Leanne, Paula, Christine, Fiona. Yeah, stop.

Christine. It was Paula. Paula. Paula. Paula was the pink. And I'll tell you why. Paula Roddus, a teacher I had at Intermediate, was quite a vivacious dresser. And she loved her pink.

She loved her pink. Wow. You're insane. No, wait. Paula was her daughter's name. What an absolute... Paula Roddus was her daughter's name. What an absolute. Paula Ruddus was her daughter who went to school.

The mum's name would have been Kate. What an absolute whoopsie daisy. Well, either way, it's worked, hasn't it? Well, you have now triggered the bonus round. The bonus round. Bonus round! While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. You only get one shot at the dad's name, Vaughn. $100 is locked in. Holly, you've won that.

But if Vaughn can guess your dad's name too, $100. Yo! Paula and Paul, very unlikely, but would be pretty cute. Why are you covering your face? Because I've just learnt the name and I don't want to give it away. Okay.

Yeah, you've got a terrible poker face. I know a Paula and a Murray, but that's worked before. That's worked before. I'm not looking at you. I'm not lying. I'm not pulling back on that one. I don't know any Paulas, I don't think. Paula Bennett.

What's Paula Bennett? Alan. Okay. That's Paula and Alan. I know another Paula married to an ant. Ant. But I don't feel like I'm at the right end of the alphabet. I feel like there might be an R.

Who was your dad's name? Ian. You reckon it could be an Ian. Paula and Ian. Paula and Ian. Goes well. Goes well. Roger.

Rog. Paula and Rog. Rog. I don't know. Michael. Michael? Michael? Good tone, Fletch.

Michael? Yeah, yeah, similar age. Similar age, bracket. Mark. Michael. Matt. Look at me, Fletch. I'm not looking at you.

I'm not giving this away. You're not getting any freebies today. I reckon Michael. Michael. Michael. Is that what you're locking in? Yes. Holly, what's your dad's name?

My dad's name is Michael. You are such a shit. I wasn't even looking at you then. You couldn't look at my face. He wouldn't look at me. Wow. Don't rip the fingers Do you know what sucks about this

Is you're so against anything like Psychic and like Yeah but you are psychic man Oh man I don't know man Although I mean you're basically guessing like one of the top Five dad names so I don't know how Special you are Oh let's redo it Let's see you sell out Basically guessing like one of the top five dad names. I don't know how special you are.

Oh, let's redo it. Let's see you sell out. Oh, my God. Maybe next time you should try, Fletch. Let's see you sell out the AOTA Centre Theatre with the upcoming Vaughan Smith psychic tour. Let me talk to you dead people. That's what it's called. Paula and Michael.

Oh, my God. Grandma wants a word. Oh, Holly, congratulations. $200. Wow. Thank you. What an absolute ten-ass. Hey, you're most welcome.

I had a little bit of a weekend out. I was so excited. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan.