ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 22nd October 2020
Episode Date: October 21, 2020Community Notices Top 6: Queen's Cleaner Producer Mounty's Group Chat Betrayal! Matthew Lewis! What nickname did Mum give you? Matthew McConaughey! Where did Magoos have a Snooze?! ... Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Warner Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app to get McCafe rewards today
Thank you for those who messaged me, tagging me in posts as well on the FVM podcast fam
Facebook page when I got stuck yesterday with Google
You may remember we left the podcast intro yesterday not caring about the term for someone who only wears plain clothing
Yes, non-branded non- only wears plain clothing. Yes. Non-branded.
Non-branded plain clothing.
Nomcore.
Nomcore.
Remember, we had talked about that before.
Nomcore.
That's boring.
It's a unisex fashion trend characterized by normal-looking clothing.
So, like, just normal jeans, plain t-shirts.
Basically, AS Color.
You'd say AS Colour's Normcore
Normcore
Like normal
Yeah
And core's all like
From the hardcore part
Right
You'd put like
Emo core
Scream core
That was our 2000 situation
Sure
Yeah
Right
So thank you for those
Normcore
Georgia
Tagging me in there
And many people messaging
Right you learnt
With the term
Normcore
Look at that
Which is not you Megan You don't do normcore. Look at that. Call back to yesterday's show.
Megan, you don't do normcore.
You don't do normcore either.
Not really.
I wear a lot of plain t-shirts.
What are you wearing today?
I don't know, a plain t-shirt and jeans.
What?
What is that little logo?
Yeah, but this doesn't count, it's so tiny.
What does that stand for?
T-H.
Underneath is New York.
Tom Hardy.
Tommy Hilfiger. You've got a lot of
Tommy Hilfiger gear. Yeah, it's just easier, isn't it?
It's very plain.
They do a lot of Navy. They do a lot
of Navy, exactly.
And it goes with your FUBU jacket.
No one has a FUBU jacket anymore.
And your Hugo Boss jazz.
Yeah, sure.
And your New York Knicks flexi-fit hat.
Yes, absolutely.
Oh, the 90s.
Good morning.
Welcome to the show, Fleet, Schvorn and Megan.
Little shocking to hear a COVID ad in the ad break.
With the do-do-do.
Do-do-do-do-do-do.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Hmm.
So I guess, just a reminder, especially for those in Auckland,
let's use the QR codes.
Let's trace that.
Let's get that tracer app back.
God damn it.
And Greenhithe, there was a bar there that a man went to on Friday.
Yes.
Linked to the case where the guy that works at the ports,
most of New Plymouth Port and Auckland Port,
he came in close contact with this person.
This person went to a bar.
So they're saying if you went to that bar, self-isolate and also get tested.
That bar, I'll give you the name,
The Malt in Greenhithe.
Right.
And I think it was here in the evening.
Between 7.30 and 10pm.
Right, okay.
So they're not considering those that were at the bar close contacts?
No.
Not like, yeah, but if you were there during those times.
They are, they are close contacts. Oh, we've during those times. They are, they are. They are close contacts.
Oh, we've just been told.
Okay, so they are.
So if you were there and you used your QR code, you should have got a notification.
Yeah.
Saying ding dong.
Ding dong.
It's Ashley here.
Ding dong.
He does all of them.
Ashley Bloomfield.
It's like a PA announcement.
Ding dong.
Hi guys, Ashley Bloomfield here.
Isolate and get tested.
How many messages did you get last night from people?
Oh, this is Christmas gone.
Oh, my God.
I'm, yeah.
Like, I think it was a bit.
But we all need to not be so dramatic for them.
I know.
I didn't.
It was him saying goodbye by Christmas.
Here we go again.
Goodbye Christmas.
I'm like, calm down.
He said goodbye Christmas.
I said here we go again.
I was singing.
Calm down.
I was singing Whitesnake. here we go again. I was singing White Snake.
Here we go again on our own.
Joining us on the show.
We're isolating inside our three-bedroom home.
Joining us on the phone after seven this morning,
Neville Longbottom.
Yeah.
Matthew Lewis.
He's in Baby Done, the new New Zealand movie.
That's so sweet
Rose Muthufay
you saw it
you saw it yesterday
yeah
it was very
very sweet
and I
you see all of it
I had a little break
at the start of the third act
okay
if you're going to take a break
that's what you want
to take a break
yeah right
but what I did see
was very charming
and much funnier than I had thought it would be.
You actually met him and talked to him after filming in New Zealand a couple of years ago.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
I'd forgotten about that.
I can't believe that was a couple of years ago.
It was a while ago.
Wow.
Yeah, just sat down on a park bench with a really nice guy.
Okay, so he's on with us after seven this morning on the show.
Chit chat, paddy whack.
Next though, a TV show's coming back to Netflix.
One of those shows we grew up with.
Missing a little bit of it though.
I'd say missing the most important part.
Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast.
ZM.
Dawson's Creek was massive in the 90s.
When in the 90s?
Late 90s.
Late 90s.
Like 97, 98.
It gave us the James Van Der Beek crying meme.
Isn't that crazy that like there will be people
that only know James Van Der Beek from that crying meme?
Yeah, that's okay.
Do you know who was in Little Fires Everywhere?
Pacey.
He always pops up in things.
Joshua Jackson.
He was in Fringe.
He's done a lot.
He just pops up.
They never set out for him to be the sex appeal on that show.
Dawson was always supposed to be the sex appeal,
but then Pacey turned into the sex appeal as well as the more comical character.
He was supposed to be like the goofy pal,
but then he became the sex appeal.
And that's where Michelle Williams started.
Yeah, Katie Holmes.
Yeah, Katie Holmes.
Before the whole Tom Cruise Scientology thing.
Well, if you've never seen it, now's your chance
because Netflix has confirmed on Twitter
that they are
going to be putting it on, but
it won't have the original theme song.
So open up your morning light
Say a little
prayer to the mountain
You know that if we are to stay
But so
how many seasons was the show?
Six or seven?
Is that how long it lasted?
Because didn't near the end of the show? Six or seven? Is that how long it lasted? I've got my Dawson's Creek Wikipedia page open.
Because didn't near the end of the show they lose the rights to the song?
Yeah, so that's what happened.
They ran into some rights issues in the sixth season.
And so they replaced the intro song.
And the sixth season was the last season.
Right.
It ran from 98 to 2003.
Right.
It feels like it went for longer, but a little earlier.
I would have said like 96 to 2003, but not 98.
You might be thinking of Party of Five.
No, that was earlier.
It was earlier.
They changed it to a song called Run Like Mad from Jan Arden.
It would be like changing the Friends theme song.
Or they release Friends on Netflix and they can't use that song,
so they use another one.
You just can't.
Just don't do the intro.
Just be like, Dawson's Creek and start.
I don't know if that's how TV shows work, Megan.
Dawson's Creek.
Mind you, Paula Cole probably had a bit more legs to stand on
than the Rembrandts who wrote the Friends song.
They were probably just like, yes.
They only really had one song.
But she only had one song,
didn't she?
No.
Well, this was actually
her second big song.
Right.
Her song that came out
just before this
that actually rated higher
on the US charts
was Where Have All the Cowboys Gone.
This song says,
asterisk, asterisk, expletive version.
What's there expletives in here?
What did she drop?
I don't know.
Is there a swearies in here?
It's probably a bitch or something.
Although it's probably a 90s, yeah, 90s swearie.
90s swearie with like bum.
She might have said, yeah, bum.
And everyone in the 90s was like, oh.
Well, remember that rigmarole with the bugger
TV commercial?
Oh, yeah.
The Toyota ad?
They're like,
oh, that can't be on TV.
Bugger.
And now you can pretty much
drop the F on that
Toyota commercial.
What would the Toyota dog
have to say in 2020
to even make us
raise an eyebrow?
The dog would be on the ground
and be like,
you F and C.
He'd be like,
whoa,
whoa,
whoa,
Toyota dog,
come on in the heart.
Fair though. ZM's Fletch, Va, whoa, whoa, Toyota dog. Coming in hot. Fair though.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
I don't know.
Is this mine?
Yeah.
Because Fletch literally said to you before.
Oh, no, I was in the middle of something else.
I wasn't listening.
You responded.
You literally said, I said Vaughan. No, no, I said I'll. You responded. I said, no, no.
I said, I'll do it as in I'll do
like if they're asking, I'll do it.
Oh, I didn't know
who you meant.
This was ages ago.
So like three minutes, 30
ago when we started playing the song
Megan, you'll remember I said, Vaughan, you're going to bring in
the break about the spies.
And you said yes. And you said yes.
And you said yes.
And then we got to discussing some tea.
I thought we were still talking about me being a spy because I would be a great spy.
People trust me.
I don't know why.
Sometimes people will tell me things and I'm like, that was too easy.
Yeah, you just got it.
What did you tell me that for?
You just elicited it out of them.
Is that right?
Right?
Elicited it out of them?
Solicited it out of them. I didn't even solicit itlicited it out of them? Solicited it out of them.
I didn't even solicit it though.
Right.
They offered it up.
Sometimes they offer it up.
Right.
It's my kind face.
The New Zealand intelligence community is looking for people with what they are describing
as an analytical mind.
Okay.
I'm here for that this morning.
We need this light relief.
So apparently they're looking for people to be spies
as part of their spy network.
How do you put out an ad for that?
Yeah, how do they do that?
They just put it online.
But you can't ever be like, what do you do for a job?
I'm a spy.
The New Zealand Intelligence Community,
nzic.gov.nz
is the website you can go to.
And it tells you, yeah,
are you looking for a beyond ordinary
career? For a fulfilling
and challenging career? And then it
tells you what they look after.
Oh, right. How much depth
does it go into? Because
the bubbly thing outside of Blenheim.
The golf balls.
The spy base.
Yeah.
I used to know someone who worked there, but I don't know anything about it.
You'd be like, what are you doing?
I can't tell you.
Well, they were probably just like.
Oh, God.
That's like people who put up a picture on Facebook of their feet in hospital.
And want us all to ask.
Just please tell me no what are
you what like what's your day-to-day no we can't even oh that sounds like a great job because then
they'll be like oh do you want to come for dinner you're like see you you couldn't be a spy you're
too much of a big mouth no no no i could oh i'm big ears and big small mouth you were told something
yesterday that you literally just told Megan and the person said
don't tell anyone
and you just told Megan
oh yeah I don't
count that
hey
no it's just like
you tell one of us
you tell all of us
right
oh yeah we're a unit
we're a unit
we're a tight
we're a tight unit
we're in our gossip bubbles
we're not telling anyone else
except you
you'll tell Mr Toyboy
oh but your partners
are part of the bubble.
He's part of it, right?
And then he'll just tell someone for some light chat
when they come into the cafe while he's making their coffee.
He'll turn around and be like, oh my God, did you hear?
This is how viruses spread.
This is where you think you've got a closed bubble,
but you don't have a closed bubble.
This is why none of us could be spies.
39 vacancies at the moment.
What?
A vetting analyst.
An analyst. Analyst, there we go. Are you able to solve problems? 39 vacancies at the moment a vetting analyst analyst
analyst
there we go
are you able to
solve problems
ask difficult questions
and make evidence
based recommendations
see that sounds
boring
we grew up with
James Bond
and all these
spy thrillers
yes
it's a foot in the door
they get you in there
and then they're like
that was a ruse
you can kill people too
yeah
at the bottom
it says of the listings there's 39 and there's eight pages.
So if I click on the eighth page, that's where the good jobs are going to go.
Click on the eighth page.
Click on the eighth page.
Do you reckon they'll give you a watch with a laser in it and a little saw?
Oh, that'd be better.
Because what happens if I get tied up?
Exactly.
By some baddies.
Yeah.
Eighth page.
NZSIS
Project Manager
Oh no that doesn't sound
We're looking for a talented
Project Manager
To help grow the
Project Management team
In the New Zealand
Delivery Unit
What does that even mean
What is it
There's no
There's no fun in that though
Because you do these
Awesome things at work
And then you go home
And you're like
You can't tell anyone
Yeah better work stories
That you can't tell anybody I did something better work stories that you can't tell anybody.
I did something kick-ass today
but you'll never know.
That's half the fun.
A team lead of incident coordination
and response.
Ooh.
That sounds like fun.
That was right in the middle.
That's on the fourth page.
You'd probably be sitting
in that big control centre
they have with all the TV screens
that you see in the TV shows
and the movies.
Use your skills and knowledge
to help ensure a more secure
and resilient online environment
for New Zealanders to live
and work in. And that's online.
Do they do an open day at the base?
Where you can just come in and be like,
Hey, what's... Yeah, and you walk in but everything's covered in sheets.
What's under there? Can't say.
Fletchforn and Megan. The podcast.
ZM.
ZM.
Fletchforn and Megan's Community Notices Welcome to Community Notices
a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand
according to local Facebook pages
the new screen cap and send to us FEMZM
My mate Mike sent me this one
which is nice because I don't think Mike listened
Was he one of those friends that's hard to impress? sent me this one. Okay. Which is nice because I don't think Mike listened. Oh, cute.
Was he one of those
friends that's hard
to impress?
Um, nah.
Okay.
Just Mike.
Just didn't think
he'd listen.
I just didn't think
he'd listen.
Okay.
He messaged me once
and he's like,
my neighbour's
cleaning their car
and they're listening
to your show,
you big turkey.
He always calls
me little turkey.
I don't know why
you're a big turkey.
He sent me this one.
This is from the hardware community notice board. So what, your friends don't know why you're a big turkey. He sent me this one. This is from the Harware Community Notice Board.
So, wait, your friends don't normally listen?
No.
Okay, interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Some of them, yeah, some of them do.
Some of them do.
Yeah, Johnny who delivers Coke, he listens.
He listens.
Doesn't he in Wellington?
He still doesn't give me any Coke, yep.
Still no Coke?
Yeah, he's not, Megan, we've been over this.
He's not allowed to give you boxes of Coke.
Can't he just drop some out the back and be like, oh, they're dented?
But then he's got to get it from Wellington to you.
Yeah, a courier.
It's a lot.
It's a lot.
Yeah, a couple do.
So there's been a post on the Highway Community Notice Board,
and Anna writes, from one concerned parent to another,
I just passed Cemetery Road now,
where three boys jumped out from the new
subdivision close to Domain Road
where one child named
Nixon started to proceed to
run out in front of me. Luckily I stopped
and in doing so he stopped where he
started to do a dance that's apparently called
The Floss.
He nearly gets hit by a car.
That's his immediate response.
I told the three boys it was highly unsafe to be doing this
as I believed he was running out in front of traffic.
But he might have...
The floss might have been the whole plan, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow, you really...
That's when...
Because when this happens in a small town
and you've got to...
Like, you drop his name.
Yeah.
By the way, if you're a
kid and you're up to
shenanigans, you don't
give your real name.
No.
You give it non-depleted.
Yeah.
Someone says, good on
you for putting this up.
Even as an adult, you
give people a fake name.
Yes.
Yes.
Always.
Always.
I tell people I'm
Heather Duplicy Ellen.
Which is really weird
considering what you've
just done with them. Yeah. And then they're like, how do you spell that, sir? And I'm like Duplissy Allen. Which is really weird considering what you've just done with them.
Yeah.
And then they're like,
how do you spell that, sir?
And I'm like,
I've got no idea.
D.
They call you sir.
Du.
Plussy.
Plussy.
P-L-U-S-S-A-Y.
I'm like,
I don't know,
just look it up on the ZB website.
And they're like,
ugh.
So apparently he's only
year three or four at school. Right, okay. And they're like, ugh. So apparently he's only year three
or four at school.
Right, okay.
And his parents
would not be happy
with him playing
on the road.
But probably pretty stoked
he does the floss.
Yeah.
Good dance.
Good to see kids
out there exercising.
Next up,
from the
buy and sell,
Christchurch buy and sell
for females page.
Okay.
I don't know why just for females page. Okay.
I don't know why just for females.
They probably get sick of all the blokes selling tractors or something.
I don't know.
I'm always sick of blokes selling tractors. Coming into the community page with their bloody tractors.
Just get out of here with your tractors.
Catherine Rose, looking for an exchange.
We've got two boxes of cereal.
One within date,
and one past that's best before.
But cereal doesn't go off.
Nah, it's so processed, isn't it?
Yeah, totally.
Apples, oranges, onions, carrots, kumara, and bananas.
What could they be wanting to swap for?
A two-litre milk.
But here's the problem.
What is that?
There's that old, one of those old like fairy tales where somebody wants to buy somebody else a Christmas gift,
but they end up giving away the thing that the other person buys them a Christmas gift for.
That's like one of life's lessons.
Yeah, right.
I can't remember what it's called.
But anyway, she wants to swap for a two litre milk, but you can get the milk.
She's still having enough cereal?
Yeah.
Maybe she's still got another box.
Or and a 500ml can of V.
Okay.
So let's put those on the cereal.
That's well,
that sign is someone
who would have it
for breakfast.
Yeah, true.
That's your breakfast drink.
Next from the
East Auckland Grapevine,
Sunea writes,
hello,
someone has left
this pigeon in a cage
in our backyard.
Please advise where we can seek help.
Thanks in advance.
And it is a caged pigeon in like a cage that looks about the size of the same one that you put your cat in to take to the vet.
How awful.
Yeah, they said it was just left in their backyard.
I would describe the pigeon as manky, but that's my general description on pigeons.
I'm not a huge pigeon guy.
Manky.
They all look a little manky to me.
Maybe more light grey than dark grey, but again, its prominent feature is that it's manky.
Yeah, okay.
Next for community notices, Jenna is looking for somebody in the Franklin Grapevine Community Info Sharing Group.
Does anyone bless houses?
I have some tenants being
tormented by three woman ghosts.
Oh my god. Of course you do.
You can't rent out a haunted house,
can you, as a landlord? Don't you have to warn them?
Maybe they didn't know until
they told them. Yeah, they might have popped up.
Also, how do you test for it? Because the meth test,
they come in, they test the surfaces, don't they?
Yeah. But what do you do? Do you
I think you have to get
Deb Weber in the corner of your bedroom for an hour.
Or wave a little bit of sage in a fear.
Hey, yuck, put that out.
Get that outside
or we'll have to leave.
That's how you might know that it's
a haunted house.
And finally today from the
I Love Kururi Wellington New Zealand page,
Scott said,
I was parked in Marsden Village
picking up some takeaways
when I saw some kids
mucking around
with my side mirror.
Okay.
It's bloody Nixon again.
Bloody Nixon.
He's gone from
hardware
all the way up
to Wellington.
How?
Was he flossing?
Who knows?
Luckily,
I caught it
and I said,
oi, and I threw a piece of me moist chicken at them
before they bolted.
I've got my sauce all over his eyes,
so if your kid comes home with sore eyes
because it's got sauce in it,
they've been fiddling with cars.
Those are today's community notices.
If you see anything on your local Facebook page,
screen cap it and send it to ours,
FVMZM on Facebook.
Fletch, Vaughan and send it to ours, FVM ZM on Facebook.
Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast ZM. So
Dame Tralee's Cooper, her showroom in
Auckland has been burglarised.
Now, we're not talking
a few dresses.
There was 1500
garments stolen
from the showroom. So this
is where you,
she would loan out looks for people and for
photo shoots and they're all
new garments that she would have been
working on for a new line.
And these have been all
stripped. Apparently she said there was one
hanger left.
One random coat hanger.
Yeah.
What kind of coat hanger was it?
They probably find a plastic coat hanger, you know those shitty ones
that can't handle much weight.
How good is a wooden coat hanger?
With a steel. Those are my favourite
coat hangers. I had one of those and the steel
bit came out.
Coat hanger intact but without the thing.
I know. Well I did go for a cheap
one. It'll teach me. It should have a thicker
bottom on it so it feeds up through the hole. It's a cheap one. It'll teach me. It should have a thicker bottom on it, so it feeds up through and holds itself through the hole.
It's a rubbish bottom, I think.
Always the case.
They'll always fall out.
Really let you down.
Two seasons worth of new sample clothing.
So how many dress garments are we talking?
1,500.
How much is that worth?
So I've been there.
She cranked out 750 garments a season.
Or were these the same garment but in like six sizes?
No, no, they'd be sample size.
Right.
I mean, I've been there as racks and racks and racks of clothing,
but there's no way you'd fit it in a car.
Got a moth.
It would have been multiple cars or it would have been a truck
or something to fit them all in.
Or a team of moths and they just rocked in their life.
All right, boys.
You know what we're going to do?
Eat it all.
So.
Young, young, young, young, young, young.
It was Burguer sometime over the weekend.
I heard you.
Just moving on.
Has anybody considered a moth?
Like a lot of moths.
All of the moths.
The building's alarm never went off.
You know why?
The moths did their dusty thing in front of it.
And the dust settled.
But then when they opened the door,
the breeze made the moth dust.
Blew away the evidence.
Yep.
Off the camera.
So the point of entry,
it looks like it was an air vent.
This is sub-light. Oh my god, it's all coming up mosh
Mosh get
through air vents? They get through like open
windows? Did someone leave a light on?
Oh my god. Because
a private investigator in this story is
quoted as saying it could be an
inside job. Somebody close
inside. Or somebody that's
at least been inside that building.
And that's the thing,
I've been there.
Oh, not me.
No, no, not me.
But I mean,
lots of people.
Megan's on the list
with moths.
Under moths.
It's a showroom.
Lots of people would have.
She'd be above moth
because we do alphabetical.
Just above moth.
Just above moth.
Megan, moth.
If I suddenly come to work
wearing like some
fancy trellis gears.
I thought you were saying
if you suddenly come to work
dropping dust everywhere.
You are both Megan and I'm off.
So how much is all this worth?
So the finance team
did mention a million dollars,
but some people were like,
it's not quite that,
but it would be up there.
So I know that police are on
like the Trade Me search list.
They're on the alerts.
Yeah, they're watching on Trade Me.
But how do you sell
like distinctive clothes like this?
I've always said, only steal what you can melt down.
Which is why I only steal diamonds or gold bars.
You can't melt down diamonds.
Well, no, you can redo diamonds, but, you know, gold bars you can...
Famously, it's pretty hard to redo diamonds.
You mean reset them?
Reset them, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Or recut them.
But they didn't work when you tried to steal Pioneer of the Reef.
No.
You took that to the local scrappy, didn't you?
And they were like, oh, not even we'll touch that.
Yeah.
We've got little to no morals.
We're scrap metal dealers.
Right.
Yeah, no, I imagine someone's going to see
a whole bunch of like 1,500 Trelease garments pop up.
Unless they take them overseas and sell them.
But then even then you'd see them. They're quarantined for two weeks. Yeah, with your 1,500 Trulise garments pop up. Unless they take them overseas and sell them, but then even then you'd see them.
They're quarantined for two weeks.
Yeah, with your 1,500 Trulise garments.
So you should have something to wear.
You literally don't move for two weeks
because the whole room's full of garments.
You're like, this probably wasn't worth it.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
From the self-driving ZM think tank,
this is the top six.
Why, the Queen's looking for a cleaner.
Somebody, I don't know,
whoop around with a vacuum cleaner.
Just get Buckingham Palace.
Ship shape.
You'd have to sign a huge confidentiality contract,
wouldn't you?
You'd think so.
Do you think there'd be like a fancy old school
cleaning uniform?
Like with a little...
Oh, like a maid. Like now uniform? Like with a little... Oh, like I'm paid.
Like now it would be predominantly like for role play,
like sexy maid, French maid.
Imagine if they're like, oh, just get your own costume,
but we're thinking French maid.
You just Google it, order one.
It turns out it's primarily spandex and PVC.
It's super short.
You walk in, Jesus, Prince Philip would have a heart attack.
He'd love it, especially if I turn up because my balls would be hanging up.
I'd be like, look, I don't know what's going on with the sizing here.
What have you found?
Well, that's a stock photo for a Buckingham Palace cleaner.
It looks like an old nurse uniform.
Yeah, I was going to say, like a 70s nurse uniform.
I don't know if that's a legit photo, so leave that with me.
Okay.
Here we go.
Are these cleaners?
Is it sexy? Yeah, it just looks like kind of a Okay. Here we go. Are these cleaners? Is it sexy?
Yeah, it just looks like a kind of a nurse.
Oh, okay.
It looks like a shirtless dress.
Like a navy blue nurse uniform.
Right.
Okay.
Like a sterile sort of a vibe.
Yeah, not enough pockets to steal stuff because you'd want to pocket something.
So I've got the top six things you'd see if you were a cleaner at Buckingham Palace.
Number six on the list.
We'll start with it because everybody's thinking it.
Prince Philip's skids.
Yeah.
In both underpants and toilet bowl.
Oh, my God.
There would be, and then you'd just be like, you'd clean it and you'd walk out and he'd eyeball you.
Yeah.
Because he's a bit of a prick, eh?
Yeah. Because of the crown.
And he'd almost be taunting you,
like daring you to say something about the skids.
It was definitely the Netflix show that turned him into a prick.
No, no, I'm just saying.
That really showed him as a prick.
Yeah.
Number five on the list of the top six things you'll see
if you're a cleaner at Buckingham Palace.
All the Queen's receipts on the bench.
She'll do something with them soon.
Yeah.
She's like, yeah, I've got to put them somewhere, but not today.
Nan's love keeping receipts, eh?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Put them somewhere.
They're just all over the bench.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've got a folder for them, but not today.
Can't be bothered.
Number four on the list of the top six things you'll see if you're the cleaner at Buckingham Palace.
The Queen's signature white hair In the shower drain
You have to clean it out
Just put like Drano down and burn it
That's not what Drano does, it dissolves the
That freaks me out
Yeah, how does it not dissolve the pipes?
It's like on Breaking Bad
Yeah, right
Remember on Breaking Bad how it dissolved the ceramic bathtub But's like on Breaking Bad. Because he is made of different stuff than pipes. Yeah, right.
Remember on Breaking Bad how it dissolved
the ceramic bathtub
but not the plastic drum?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Science.
Yeah, science, bitch.
Hey, yeah!
What?
Is that like a faux pas?
Should it?
No, no, no, no.
In Breaking Bad.
Yeah.
No, no, no, no.
That was the big thing.
He thought the bath
was going to be stronger
than the plastic
but the sort of acid it was wouldn't melt plastic,
but ate through ceramic.
Right.
That was the whole situation.
Different acids, different things.
Number three on the list of the top six things you'll see
if they're cleaner at Buckingham Palace.
Prince Philip's shoes just haphazardly kicked off at the door.
He would.
I'd imagine he'd walk into the house like my kids do
when they get home from school.
They literally just walk in and they put a foot and they go, kick, kick.
And just kick it at the other side of the hallway.
I'm like, for a start, there's little black marks getting on the wall over there from your shoes.
Those are non-marked shoes.
Please don't wear them in the school gymnasium.
How fun is it using the magic eraser on the wall?
It's pretty fun.
Yeah, it's pretty fun.
We're painting our laundry at the moment.
It's exactly the same color as the rest of the walls in the house.
And so there's been these marks I could probably clean off,
but yesterday I had paint left on the roller.
I just walked up the hallway going, paint the mark.
Just everything.
I was like, that could be wiped off, but I'll give it a paint.
So now there's going to be like weird patches.
Patches.
And it told off the name.
Number two on the list of the top six things you'll see
if you're the cleaner at Buckingham Palace.
Old celery and the veggie crisper.
She's the queen, but she's still human.
She had the best of intentions.
Yeah.
She's like, oh yeah, I'll eat that celery with some peanut butter or something.
And number one on the list of the top six things you'll see if you're the cleaner at Buckingham Palace.
The queen's clothes just dumped in the corner of the room after she kicks them all off at the end of a very long day.
Bra included.
She's like,
get these two out.
Oh, Lord.
I'm free again!
That's today's top six.
Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.
ZM.
Yesterday there was a group chat.
A TikTok was shared,
which is great.
Our group chat is, I mean, it's just like any friend group chat, a TikTok was shared, which is great. Our group
chat is, I mean, it's just like
any friend group chat, really, but it's intense.
There's a lot. It can really get
going. It's both personal with the sharing
of the memes and the TikTok
content, but it's also serious
work chat. Yeah, interwoven.
That's why I find it hard to keep up.
Oh, Megan is renowned
for ignoring
vital group chat messages.
You'd be proud though, the other day I was going to
post something in there and I was like, I'm going to scroll up just
to check and it had already been posted.
So I was like, oh, okay, good. Got on me.
Well, yeah, that's the good thing about that
group chat is you get slandered often, but then
you just don't, she doesn't even see it.
Yeah.
You've
aired your grievance
Well yesterday TikTok got shed
You put it in didn't you Anya
You put the, hold on, go
Yes, you put the TikTok in the group chat
Pretty good response
Yeah, I'd say
Ha ha's all round
I watched it
Thank you
So this was
in the group chat with Ross Boss.
He also gave me a ha-ha.
And I was feeling pretty good about myself.
Because you'd say he would be targeted.
He was targeted. He could have felt targeted.
He said ha-ha-ha-ha
and I was like, fab.
And then a mere hours
later, oh and I also mentioned
Mountie ha-ha'd.
Now, did she react?
Did she type ha-ha or did she give you a react?
There was a ha-ha react.
Now, I believe there was four ha-ha reacts.
Okay.
So pretty good innings on a top.
Not bad in a six-person chat.
And mere hours later, in the show group chat, Sans Ross, betrayal.
Mountie shares the same TikTok.
Ha ha ha, guys, check this out.
So you hadn't watched the TikTok
that you ha ha'd to, Mountie.
Here's the thing.
I would never ha ha something
that I have not watched
because it's a risky play, right?
Like it could be a sad video.
It could be a sad TikTok.
So somehow there's been a very grave mistake.
No, but you saw the other reacts of haha,
so you thought it would be safe to go haha.
I always check the reacts.
If Fletch has haha'd something,
you can't just blindly haha it.
What do you mean?
It might be.
It still might be sad.
It still might be brutal. It still might be brutal.
And you're like, haha.
Oh yeah, like a, yeah, okay, right.
So then you've got to go in and check.
Fletch is the only person that's hard at it.
What if I'm crying laugh facing emoji?
Is that still okay or still check?
Still check. Okay.
And if I'm like, oh my god, that's so sad, then you know
it's actually sad. Then you're like, oh my gosh, I don't even know if I'm going to be able
to watch this. Yeah, okay, right. but i have no recollection of this thought process right you know like i'm not that
smart i'm not that sneaky yeah have we gone back in i'm i'm gonna go back in i don't remember this
being an hour later i feel like this was like maybe an Anna shared it like a week ago.
No, it was literally an hour before.
This has been un-ha-ha'd.
I was going to say un-ha-ha'd it because I went to check.
I said I can't see a reaction.
You un-ha-ha'd it.
I don't remember ever ha-ha-ing this or seeing it.
You retract a ha-ha.
I maintain my innocence.
I didn't think you could retract a ha-ha once everyone had seen the ha-ha.
Yeah, true.
How would you un-ha-ha something?
Hold on.
I'm going to see if I can react and then un-react.
I've ha-ha'd.
You can un-react.
You can un-react.
Can you?
How?
See, I wouldn't know.
No, you can't.
No, you can't.
Exactly.
Ha!
I win.
Isn't that cocked what causes arguments these days between friends?
I actually just un-ha-ha'd something.
You did un-ha-ha'd.
On your phone
or in the computer?
On my phone.
Yeah, maybe on the phone.
You can un-ha-ha.
Wow, you've been
poured out, Mounsey.
Can you imagine
our grandparents,
God rest their souls,
listening to this conversation
being like,
what?
We would have lost them
at TikTok.
Are they talking about a clock?
Were they listening to the clock?
Were they?
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
It is 63 days, 16 hours and 44 minutes till Christmas.
Like, I know that 2020 has been an unusual year. It is 63 days, 16 hours and 44 minutes till Christmas. It does.
Like, I know that 2020 has been an unusual year.
Say the least.
It's felt it's gone really fast in some parts and slow in others,
but it doesn't feel like Christmas is 63 days away, right?
No.
No, that's a fair call.
It's weird.
Like, that's two months.
Like, I know the supermarkets have been, and we've talked about this in this segment,
the supermarkets have been putting up a few displays,
but it doesn't feel as much as last year.
That's two months.
Yeah, it is, yeah.
So it's the 25th on, what, Monday?
Oh, my God.
Or Sunday.
I always start my Christmas shopping in October,
and I haven't started.
And they're all saying that we need to start early
because of shipments and everything.
Shipments?
Shipments.
I was like, wait, if we wait to the last minute,
is the mince going to go shitty?
I think you're talking about mince pies.
You snapped me right back to reality.
Even retailers getting stock in, they're finding that hard.
And also if you're sending anything away, even around the country or overseas, you need to do that way earlier right back. It's reality. Even retailers getting stock in, they're finding that hard. And also, if you're sending anything away,
even around the country or overseas,
you need to do that way earlier than normal.
Or just buy them an E-voucher.
Because then they can go shopping.
Exactly.
All right.
Well, let's have a look at
where Christmas Penetration is at.
I want to start with this one.
Fletch Audio, if you'd please.
Audio ready, Vaughan Smith.
Jess messaged in from Brisbane, popped into Kmart,
and found what I believe to be our first international sightings or hearings.
What do you call the audio version of sightings?
A hearing.
A hearing.
A first.
Yeah, it kind of needs a word like that.
It doesn't like a sighting, like a receiving.
I feel like there is a word.
There probably is a word.
There probably is a word.
We should know it too because this is our sort of sense, isn't it?
Herring.
It's the first thing I'm hearing of.
The first broadcast of Christmas.
No, that's not the word.
Not quite.
Okay, well, let's come back to that.
No, yeah, we'll come back to that.
Put that on the piece of paper for discussion after the show.
Christmas Penetration, Kmart in Brisbane.
Ah, bloody hell, after that build-up.
They're automatically muted.
Isn't that annoying?
All right, here we go.
Wiggle your cord.
There we go.
Is that Miley?
Jingle bells.
Jingle bells.
I think you're needing a chord.
No, I don't think that's a chord.
I think that's Jess's recording issue
because before I listened and it was...
Well, I mean, yeah, okay.
Just go back to her and say the quality was average.
Should I do that now?
Fletch has taken umbrage.
You're happy for me to use umbrage?
I mean, technically the umbrage should be on you
for organising that audio.
With the quality of your audio.
Could she ask to use the Kmart
step ladder next time to get closer to the speaker?
Right, next time,
please acquire
a step ladder
to get closer to the speaker.
It's easy to blame Jess.
We could take the blame.
Vaughan could shoulder all of this blame.
No, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
One thing about blame, it should never be shouldered.
Next, Belinda has reported Christmas penetration
from Smith & Coie.
They're a real Christmas hotspot.
Their Christmas shop is now open.
This is where you buy your ornaments
and wreaths and all of that
of the like. Ben has reported
some Christmas penetration
from
he lives overseas. I want to say
Hong Kong or Singapore. Okay.
I think Singapore. The Christmas tree has been put up
at the mall by my house. Christmas penetration
through the roof. It's like three or four stories tall.
Very big.
Very big Christmas tree. And Earl,
who every year reports,
every year we've done Christmas Penetration, we've heard
from Earl. He said
Christmas Penetration at the local shopping centre
in the car park.
You pull out from the big tree and
there's also a
giant hanging reef.
Oh wow, okay. What's in there?
It's all go.
She's all go.
So 63 days away from Christmas.
Comet Cupid, polish the sleigh.
Right now, Christmas penetration is at...
65%.
Oh.
Oh.
It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. And if you see any reports of Christmas creeping in,
screenshot them or send us a message.
FVM ZM on Facebook.
We're joined on the phone by Aptor Matthew Lewis.
Hello, good morning.
Good morning.
How are you? Very good. Hey, that was almost a little bit Kiwi. Yeah, good morning. Good morning. How are you?
Very good.
Hey, that was almost a little bit Kiwi.
Yeah, that sounded very Kiwi.
Was it?
Yeah, maybe you just heard us
and you took yourself back to your time.
Yeah, because this was filmed a while ago.
You and I sat on a park bench at the end of filming
and had a chat, and when that video popped up I was like
haha, I've aged terribly
So how long ago
did you guys film in New Zealand?
Oh gosh, it feels like
this year has been an eternity in itself
It was
the start of 2019 I think
it was, wasn't it?
So it's been about 18
months give or take, I think since we So it's been about 18 months, give or take,
I think since we, is that right?
Jeez.
Wow.
Yeah, 18 months, almost, you know,
almost not far off two years, really.
So it's been quite a while,
and obviously with everything going on this year,
it's sort of been a little bit delayed.
But finally people can see it, which is exciting.
How has your year been?
You say it feels like an eternity.
It doesn't
sound like you're giving 2020 a rave review. How have you personally found it? As somebody
who, you know, you act, whether it be theatre or on set, there's people around and those
sorts of crowds are not happening or severely restricted. How have you found the time as
an actor? It's been, it's had pros and cons for me personally.
The con being there's not very much going on.
There's no real work going on.
I think people are just now starting to get back into it.
But I will say this, and this is me desperately trying to find the silver lining,
is that I've been an actor since I was five years old.
And even when you finish a job,
you're sort of constantly trying to get the next gig.
You know, even when you're towards the last few weeks of filming,
probably when we were on that park bench,
I was sort of self-taping and auditioning for other stuff
that was coming up to try and get onto a new gig.
And if auditions aren't coming in, normally
I start to panic and go, what have I done wrong? And this, I think, is the first time
in, how old am I, 31, 26 years, that I have not had auditions coming in and it doesn't
feel like it's my fault. So I've sort of been able to just kind of relax and be like, it's
okay. It's okay to not be working right now, which has been unusual for me,
but quite strangely pleasant,
if you can imagine that with everything else going on.
Well, that's the thing.
If you've been working for that long,
it is nice to have a break.
It's kind of essential to give a bit of a reset,
and I think everybody's having a bit of a reflective period
at the moment to see where they're at.
So, yeah, as you say, it's not the end of the world.
Yeah.
It's been tough for a lot of people.
I've found myself very, very fortunate.
Particularly, you know, in places that aren't as lucky as the Kiwis are to have such wonderful
leadership that you do.
It's been tougher for the rest of the world.
So how did you actually enjoy your time in New Zealand?
Did you get to tour around much?
I didn't get to see as much of the country as I'd like.
It's ridiculous, really.
I've been down to New Zealand several times,
probably three or four times now,
and I'm always in Auckland the whole time,
which I feel I have to apologise for the rest of the country.
But I've got family in Auckland, so I've always sort to apologise for the rest of the country. But I've got family in Auckland,
so I've always sort of just stayed in and around the city.
And this shoot was no different.
We did try and do a little bit of stuff,
and there was some location work in Rotorua
and a couple of other spots.
And that was really great, to get out of the city
and see some of the beautiful countryside.
But I'd love to get to the South Island.
I've never managed to get down there,
and I've heard it's gorgeous.
So I guess I'll just have to come back.
Ah, just go to Norway.
It's closer.
Similar, very similar.
Very similar, yeah.
Just imagine Kiwis doing binge drinking there.
That would be the major difference.
So tell us about this movie.
It probably feels like forever ago that you filmed it,
but you worked with our very own.
And we see her on international projects,
and we're like, hey, she's ours, hands off,
Rose Matofeo.
So how did you find the filming and everything?
Did you know Rose beforehand?
I mean, the filming was great.
It was fantastic. I can't think of a a better place
um to be to work on a film to be honest uh the people were amazing um real grit uh crews the
crews are exceptionally talented down there um and um and yeah of course you know work working
with with the caliber of of people like like rose was was. I was, we'd never met before,
but I was sort of aware of her as a comedian,
done a lot of stuff in the UK.
And so when I'd seen the people who were involved with it
and I read the script, I was like, this has got to be wicked.
I'm really, really keen to be involved in this.
And then being on set, about as much fun as you can imagine it was.
It was, you know,
despite it being really intense at times
with the tight schedule that we had
and the low budget that we had,
it was just so much fun.
And making a comedy is always
a great deal of fun.
I just felt a bit out of my depth at times
because we had so many
professional comedians on set.
I was just like,
you know what? I'm not even going to try and be funny. I was just like, you know what?
I'm not even going to try and be funny.
I'm just going to play what's written in the script
and hope for the best.
Because how did you come about?
I mean, this is from the producers of Hunt for the World of People
and Breaker Operas, which is very well known to Kiwis
and very well known Kiwi actors in here.
But how did you come to be on this Kiwi,
essentially Kiwi film?
Well, that's a good question as the story goes I asked Curtis this Curtis Fowle our director I sort of said you know why
why me like why why didn't you want to get a Kiwi actor or even you know an Australian or
someone from from this part of the world and he he said that that was the intention, I think.
And I think they had a very vivid image in their mind
of what they wanted from Tim.
And they just hadn't found it.
And so they opened it up to the rest of the world.
I believe it was sort of opened up to the UK of the world. I believe that it was sort of opened up
to the UK and the US
and several other places. And thankfully
for me, it was. So the script
ended up on my desk and I read it
and as I say,
once I saw the people involved, I was like, okay,
they mean business with this.
And then when I read it, it was
a no-brainer. I just absolutely
fell in love with the story, the character.
And I was just so grateful that it had made its way across the ocean to me.
Baby Dunners in cinemas right now.
Matthew, thank you so much for joining us.
It's my pleasure. Thanks for having us, guys.
ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast.
Yesterday, during a shameless self-promotion of his Instagram page,
which has resulted in...
Oh, yeah, because you hit 400 followers, producer Jared.
Yep, 400 yesterday.
And you resulted...
How many did you get?
I'm just refreshing.
455 is what I'm sitting on.
Okay, so that shameless plug yesterday
got you 55 followers.
Almost.
Is that the same amount of followers
on Instagram now
as matches on Tinder during lockdown?
Yeah, I'm one short.
I'm one short.
Wow, magical number.
Well, it was when mentioning your Instagram
that the cute nickname
that your mum gave you came up.
Jarodotsky.
Or Jarodotsky.
Wait, so she said Jarodotsky. Originally it was Jarodotsky. Wait, so she said Jarodotsky?
Originally it was Jarodotsky
and then it got shortened to Jarodski.
That's so cute.
Because she used to be like, Jarodotsky,
the famous Russian spy.
Oh my gosh!
That's pretty cute.
She gave you a backstory and everything.
So five-year-old me absolutely frothed it.
That's so cool.
Oh,
feel bad ragging on you now,
but I won't.
I'll get over it.
Oh, Jared.
Okay, I got you. Yeah.
And so it's your Instagram handle.
It's your gamer tag, right?
Big time.
Every game ever.
Yep.
Jared.Ski.
Because it's got a dot on it.
Jared.Ski.
Jared.Ski.
Jared.Ski. And at the time. He's got a dot in it. Jared Dot Ski. Jared Dot Ski. Jared Dot Ski.
And at the time.
He's got enough followers now.
It's just worked out.
Because I thought it was just
Jared Ski, Jared Ski.
Not all of us have a blue tick
and heaps of followers.
Don't.
I hate the player.
I hate the game.
So,
we got talking about
like nicknames that your
parents give you.
And if that stuck.
Yeah.
And because your dad calls you ferret.
Yeah.
My parents always used to call me ferret.
I don't know quite where that came from.
Is it because you looked ferrety?
You looked quite ferrety, yeah.
Oh, really?
Was it a ferrety appearance?
We saw the baby photos on the fridge, didn't we?
Yeah.
And you were always eating rabbits.
You were always scooting down a hole and eating rabbits.
By the way, I saw a rabbit in the CBD this morning.
What? I knew.
I was scootering. That's bloody
the plot of Peter Rabbit 2, isn't it?
Yeah, I was like, what are you doing in the city?
You're not going to be able to dig a hole in the
road, you stupid rabbit. You silly
rabbit. What are you doing here? There's no grass
here. It's a city.
It's the only place safe from Khaleesi
virus. Weird though, eh?
That is weird. That is weird.
But we were wondering if your parents
ever gave you a nickname.
But like neither of you two
can remember. Not that I
remember, nah. That's so sad.
Nah. I mean I could
message mum and be like, did you have a cute nickname
for me? But I doubt it. They don't seem like
the cute nickname type. They're not cute nickname types.
Neither do Ian and Christine. Nah.
I couldn't imagine them. My nan and nana both called
me Vorno, but that's just O on the end
of my name, or Vorny or Vorno. Yeah.
I think my mum called me Floss now and then.
Why? I think it's my
great-great-auntie or
nana or something. Oh, I'm going to get in trouble now.
What, is she just confused?
Because it's like a cute, like, little girl. What is she just confused? Because it's like a cute little girl.
It is a cute name, but it's what Felicity's get called.
Felicity's get called like Flick and Floss.
Yeah.
But not Megan's.
They don't get called Floss.
I just feel so bad for you that you didn't have this.
Yours was Ferret.
I would have rather gone without, to be totally honest.
All right, so we want you to call us.
0800-DARLS-AT-M.
Text in as well, 9696.
What nickname
Did your parents give you?
Or your mum?
My sister's was
Strops
Because she always
Had a strop?
Because she always
Had a strop
Someone gave that to her
Because they witnessed
Her have a strop
And it kind of stuck
Every time she's
Having a strop
They call her strops
But that was
Points if you've still
Got this nickname
And your friends
Call it to you
Or maybe it's one of
Those nicknames
That you're glad
That your friends
Don't know
More points If your friends Don't know. More points if your
friends don't know your nickname and you're
horrendously embarrassed about it. So we learned
producer Jared's mum called him
Jared Dotsky. It was just
a cute name that she came up
and gave him a backstory as a Russian
spy.
So we want to know
what your parents nicknamed you as a kid.
Maybe it's stuck.
Maybe it hasn't.
A lot of stories, a lot of nicknames are sticking.
Someone said, I knew someone who was 70, and their nickname was Toot,
and everyone only ever called them Toot.
And it was all because they had a toy truck when they were a kid that went Toot, Toot, Toot.
And his parents said he was driving everybody nuts old Toot, and then Toot stuck,
and that's been their name for like 70 years.
Wow.
Chantelle, what do your parents call you, or what did they?
Hi, good morning.
My parents call me Birdie.
Birdie.
Why Birdie?
Do you remember?
Oh, you might not remember.
From the 25th century or Battlestar Galactica, one of those,
there was a little alien thing called Twiggy,
and it used to run around going,
bitty, bitty, bitty, bitty, bitty.
So when I was about five years old,
I'd run around saying that.
And ever since the last 40 years,
my dad, my mum, and my older brother
have always called me birdie.
Some of these are so niche.
Yeah, they really are.
It is.
It's like an insight into families.
Yeah.
One thing happens.
Nicole, what do your parents call you?
So it started off with knickers.
Like, because of Nicole?
Because of Nicole.
Yeah, but it's kind of like the underwear now.
And I'm 22 years old and people still call me it.
Knickers.
It's caught on outside of my family.
So even at work now, my boss kind of calls me knickers.
That's a trip to HR.
That's an HR trip.
We're in Kippin.
Thanks, Nicole.
Catherine, what was your cute nickname?
Not so cute.
Dad used to call me Captain Ragmop.
Is that a hair reference?
Pardon?
What is that a reference to?
Honestly, no idea.
Dad just decided it sounded like Catherine Margaret. So it's Captain Ragmop. Pardon? What is that in reference to? Honestly, no idea.
Dad just decided it sounded like Catherine Margaret,
so it's Captain Ragnar.
And then my sisters joined on the bandwagon and called me Cat Food Maggot.
Oh!
Wow.
Cat Food Maggot.
It got a lot worse.
I would definitely still write that on your Christmas presents.
Yeah, for sure.
Dear Cat Food Maggot.
I'm pretty sure anything my sisters address to me is to Cat Food Maggot.
I love it.
All right, Catherine or Cat Food Maggot, thanks for your call.
We're talking about the cute nicknames that you had as a baby or a kid from your parents.
Maybe they've stuck.
Bonus points if they've stuck.
Yeah.
A lot of them have.
And some people are saying how someone in their family has always had a nickname and
they've never questioned it because it's always what they've known them have. And some people are saying how someone in their family has always had a nickname and they've never questioned it
because it's always what they've known them as.
Yeah.
For example, Uncle Duck.
So apparently Uncle Duck, he was my uncle,
but apparently Uncle Duck, when he was born,
his ankles weren't quite formed right
and his older sister said he looked like a duck.
And the surgery, and he got surgery as a baby,
absolutely fine by six months old, but duck had stuck.
Oh, right.
And he was duck.
His uncle duck.
And then he was our uncle,
so he was uncle duck.
Right.
Mine is poopsie,
because I pooped in the bath once as a kid.
Yeah, you do those sorts of things.
That stuck.
Tookie took and princess putter pants.
Princess putter pants.
That's so good. I'd just love to call a grown adult princess putterpants. Princess Putterpants. That's so good.
I'd just love to call a grown adult Princess Putterpants.
My brother's nickname since he was three was Cheeto.
Did he get into the Cheeto?
Just ate one once and got orange around his mouth and that was it.
That stuck.
That's all it can take in a family echo chamber.
One thing happens and then it bounces around so much it sticks almost immediately.
Vicky, what was your nickname?
So I'm on that whole
embarrassing,
don't really want anyone
to know,
but hey, I'm an adult now
so I'll share.
Okay.
So my dad used to call me,
because I was the second
in the family,
so my dad used to call me
Hubba.
As in Hubba Bubba.
I know, it was awful.
I just hate it.
He used to make me cry too.
Oh my God. I give him shit about just hate it. He used to make me cry too. Oh, my God.
I get upset about it now, though.
Right, so he doesn't call you Hubba now?
No, God, no.
God, no.
I think I'd bloody slap him if he did.
Yeah, he'd get a knock.
He'd get a knock.
Becky, thanks for your call.
Dig, what did your parents used to call you?
Dig, and they still call it to me.
Oh, that's why.
I was going to say, is it Dig?
So your name's not Dig, it's your nickname?
Yeah, it's my nickname, yeah.
Right, did you dig a hole or something?
You bloody bang onto it, yeah.
I got stuck into the old sandpit one day
and it went from digger to dig
and stuck for that since, well, yeah, I was like two.
And I'm now 31.
It's a cool nickname, Dig's a cool nickname.
It is, Dig, thanks for your call, mate.
Mel, what was your nickname as a kid?
Smelly Nelly.
Smelly Nelly.
Who gave you that?
I think it might have been my grandpa, like my papa.
I got it when I was like three, and now I'm 27,
and I've still got cousins that call me Smelly Nelly.
So it's wonderful.
You're like, we should drop that.
You're like, no, absolutely not. I'm like, I'm 27. Do I really need to be referred call me Smelly Nelly. So it's wonderful. You're like, we should drop that. You're like, no, absolutely not.
I'm like, I'm 27.
Do I really need to be referred to as Smelly?
Now, things you call?
Some other text messages in.
Tittles.
My nickname is Tittles.
Everyone in the family and friends call me Tittles.
There's members of our family that actually had to ask my mum
what my name was because they'd only known me as Tittles.
I love when you don't know someone's actual name.
Because it feels really weird calling
them their actual name.
Yeah, you know you're in trouble.
My sister Catherine
is PC Fats.
Because she was Catherine, that got turned into
Catmandu, which turned into Fatmandu,
which got turned to PC because she has the most PC, so then it became PC Fats.
See, that's the interview.
Trace the lineage.
It's pretty crazy.
My brother was Boof, so that's the same person.
Their sister was PC Fats and their brother was just Boof.
If I was Boof, I'd want more time and effort put into my nickname.
Yeah, totally.
It feels like it's just a...
Yeah.
Mine was Desi, and that came from Decibel,
because I always made lots of noise and wouldn't stop talking.
Apparently, I looked like a rat when I was born,
so my dad called me Rat and still does.
Like you, like Ferret.
Ferret.
No, but it wasn't on my looks.
I was real cute.
We need confirmation on that.
No.
Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
ZM. Matthew McConaughey's
book Greenlights is out now. All about
his life. I can see him. The connection is
good. We are Zooming with
Matthew McConaughey, the author of Greenlights'
new book and a just well-loved
movie and TV actor.
Hello. Good morning, gang. How we
doing? Good. Thank you so, so much
for joining us. Now, so your new book,
you spent 52 days in the desert writing this book. Thank you so, so much for joining us. Now, so your new book, you spent 52 days in the
desert writing this book.
Did you have snacks?
Oh, I had better than snacks. I took a
cooler with
ribeyes.
Oh, wow.
My own personal rub, so
I took a little
barbecue.
Every evening at about seven o'clock, I'd go mix my first cocktail,
and I'd have that fire going and cook myself a big badass ribeye for dinner.
Let's talk about this, your own rub recipe.
Obviously, these things are sacred, and you don't just share them with everybody,
but can you share them with me?
Absolutely not.
Were you in just a giant tent in the desert or was it a house?
No, it was a cabin.
A little cabin in the middle of the desert where I mainly spent my time.
I had a generator.
So if I need electricity to, I brought my printer.
If I need electricity to plug my laptop in, I do that.
But mainly I was just writing by hand and going through this big treasure chest of diaries
that I've been keeping for 36 years.
But you were completely alone by yourself?
Yes, 100%.
Wow.
And when did you do this?
When was your isolation?
Because isolation has been the craze of 2020.
Pre-COVID.
Pre-COVID.
Yeah, this was way pre-COVID.
I didn't know what I was getting ready for.
Yeah, I was working out and getting ready for COVID to quarantine. No, it was all pre-COVID. I didn't know what I was getting ready for. Yeah, I was working out and getting ready for COVID to quarantine.
No, it was all pre-COVID.
So you had how many years of diaries?
32 years of diaries?
36.
36 years of diaries.
Wow.
Looking back, I didn't keep a diary a lot.
Got one for Christmas, would do like the first couple of weeks of January,
and then the habit would disappear.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I found one semi-recently
from my last year of high school.
It was so cringeworthy and embarrassing to read.
I would shudder at the thought of it being shared.
Have you stumbled across that or?
Yes.
I've been threatening to write a book
for the past 15 years,
but didn't have the courage
because I didn't want that.
I'm looking over there
at that Treasure Chester Diaries going, man, I'm't want that. I'm looking over there at that treasure chest of diaries
going, man, I'm not opening that.
That's going to be embarrassing, man.
That's going to be a shame.
And you know, like going to,
once I decided that's what I was going to do
and my wife said, get the hell out of here,
take that treasure chest of diaries away
and see what's in it.
Like you've been threatening to do for 15 years,
but haven't done. Once I did, like going going to work out what's the hardest part about working out
tying our shoes to get out the damn door yeah yeah i loaded up and said i'm out of here and i sat down
with it i actually found that the stuff i was gonna thought i was gonna be really embarrassed
about i laughed at myself i was like what were you thinking you idiot and then the stuff that i
thought i might be shamed about i was, I kind of forgave myself about it.
I said, no, it's okay.
I see you going through.
You were trying to figure shit out, and you always have been.
And it was easier.
I had much more fun than I thought because for that reason,
I was afraid to do it, mainly for embarrassment
and shame of what I might find.
Do you still keep a diary,
even though you've kind of written about your past ones?
I was going to say technique, ones what's your i was gonna say
technique but what's your routine with it do you do it every day because obviously you're quite busy
well now i'm doing it you know notes on the phone i go to my phone 70 of the time i go to my phone
is to write myself i take notes so i hear something you know or i think of something
and i'll write i'll write it down and then at the end of say every couple weeks i get some time i'll go back through all those notes see what my central theme
of thinking has been over the last two weeks and transcribe some stuff over to uh paper or file it
in a different file like this like this book the diaries i didn't know what the hell they were all
going to be i looked at them and i said i I got to find some consistency. And what did I find? I found stories, people, places, prescriptions, poems, and a whole hell of a lot of bumper
stickers. And that was the stack. And then from those, the central theme came to what the title
is Green Lights, as I found there were ways that I had created green lights in my life. There were
red lights and yellow lights that had turned green later in my life and there were lessons that i learned from reds and yellows crisis is in my life that i was
like ah you know what i'm glad i had that red light in my life because i got something wrong
was it turning 50 that made you think this needs to be needs to be done or was it i had something
to do it it's bound to have something to do with it it's bound to be I know that inherently even some of the concepts I was like oh I'm coming on 50
huh okay there's the
old half a century okay
that made
me go
and I have been doing this for the last
four or five years what are the
legacy choices you're making
I've asked myself that what are the choices
you're making that once you're dead and
gone you're going to be able to hand this off to your kids and What are the choices you're making that once you're dead and gone, you're going to be able to hand this off to your kids?
And what are the choices you're making that you can hand something off to your kids
that they can hand off to their kids?
And so that's been a new choice-making paradigm for me in the last four or five years.
And I think coming on 50 gave me also the courage to go,
well, let's go see who you've been the last 50,
and let's see if it's worth sharing in a book.
I think the rub could be a legacy item too.
The rub is definitely legacy.
Pass it to your children and say,
this is the McConaughey rub.
The secret must never get out, but it must live.
That's it.
Through generations.
Yeah, man.
Oh, this has been fantastic to have a chat to you.
Is it?
I think about, I watched Dazed and Confused so many times in the 90s
because I was like a teenager when I first saw it
and it resonated that whole coming of age tale.
And now my daughters have watched Sing, dare I say, thousands of times.
You've been in both those movies, so you've been with the family.
I had to make one for my kids, man.
100%!
I had to make one for my kids.
And I'm like, my kids haven't seen any of the stuff I do.
I can't show my kids Dazed and stuff I do. I can't show my kids
Dazed Confused yet. I can't show them True Detective yet.
You know what I mean?
I'd like something
for them to see. So yeah, I got a little
credit in my own household once I made Sing.
Yeah, no, I think my kids absolutely loved it.
And there's another Sing in the works?
In the works. Yeah.
I know it's coming out next year. Yeah.
But we've been doing a lot of recording on that.
That's awesome.
Well, I know my family. You know, we had a dazed and confused virtual read-through
with the entire cast yesterday.
I know.
I saw it.
Yeah.
It was wild and cool, man, to see everybody.
It was really cool.
Because what?
That was really early on in your career, was that?
It was 93?
No, that's the first one.
Yeah.
That's the summer of 92.
I'm in college i walk
in the right bar at the right time meet the right guy who says you ever done any acting said that
was in a middle light commercial for that long because you might be right come to this address
there's a script waiting for you i go down there pick it up three lines turn into three weeks work
for me on that i go back graduate college drive out to hollywood $2,000 in a U-Haul because that movie had just come out, so that got me some meetings,
and here I am.
And it gave us so many amazing catchphrases as well.
All right, all right, all right.
That's the first three words I ever said on film.
Wow.
Is there any aim that if you ever retire from acting, it'll be the
last three words you say on film?
How bookending perfect would that be?
Bookend it, man.
People say that like, hey, they ask me
all the time, do you get tired
of that sort of introducing you
or preceding you or people tattooing
it on their bodies or saying it or whatever.
Hell no, I love it.
It is the first three words I said
in a summer of my life where I thought
I might, I thought I'd just got two days
working, a little hobby, a little cool thing that I was like,
oh, that was cool. I remember that time in 92, I got
to act in that movie. Hell, man, it turned out
to be a career. But what if
you were having a meal at a restaurant, it's just
you and your family and someone's like, all right,
all right, like over the room, would
you be like, oh, come on. Oh, I always just look up
and go, yeah, I'm the author.
Copyright, McConaughey.
Along with the rub, it's a secret.
You'll never know the ingredients.
No, the rub is a secret.
All right, all right, all right
is more public domain.
Right, yeah.
Free to use, not the rub.
Green Light is out.
Matthew McConaughey,
it's been a pleasure.
Thank you so much for joining us this morning.
Thank y'all.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
It's Polly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly.
Polly, Molly, Molly, Molly.
Come on!
It's the Deal Breakers edition.
So we asked a bunch of questions on our Instagram.
Instagram?
Instagram, on Instagram.
About Deal breakers.
This versus that.
Some of these are quite interesting.
And there's this one
that I don't know what I'd choose.
Okay.
Crack into it.
First up,
picky eater
versus always being late.
So if you had to choose
between these deal breakers
and a person.
How late?
Like cute late?
You're not cute late. You're late late. I? Like cute late? You're not cute late.
You're not cute late.
I'm always cute late.
It's never cute late.
It's always late.
You say you're on your way
and you're in the shower.
Tee hee hee.
It's a cute little fib.
That no one believes.
Yeah,
normally you're going to be
half an hour from your shower.
It's not a cute late.
That's still pretty cute.
At least I'm clean.
Yeah.
We can always hear the shower
in the background though.
Which would you prefer then?
Because you always give me crap for being a picky eater.
But I just don't like seafood.
Oh, no, to me, it would always be late would be okay.
But if you were with someone, and I'm talking like picky eater,
where you couldn't go to places like you.
Oh, not seafood.
I don't like that.
I don't like red meat.
It's got things in it.
It's got sugar in it. I can't go there. Oh my god.
No, no, no, no, no.
Well, I would choose always late because that's
prioritising your time over someone else's
and that's the height of rudeness. If you're important,
they'll wait. And they always have.
And everyone sided with
me. Well, not everyone, but 70%
of people chose always being late
as they're more of a deal breaker.
Wow.
Wow, okay.
Someone said, oh my God, I'm both.
This is confronting.
Picky eating is fine when you're dating, but once you live and cook together, that's a bit of a nightmare.
Yeah.
Next one, socks in bed versus poor grammar.
You'd go socks.
Oh, Would you?
Socks in bed
Socks in bed is weird eh
I can't do it
It's not a deal breaker
Yeah
I married someone
Whose English
Wasn't their first language
So I'm just used to
Always correcting him
And explaining things
I bet he loves that
No he does
Because he doesn't want to
Like he says things
Completely wrong
But you get out the red pen and then give him a grade.
And that's, like, kind of weird.
It's like being a teacher or something.
And if he makes five mistakes, he has to get a strap at the principal's office.
Okay, so I was leaning towards socks and bed.
Yeah, right.
Because I want those touching me.
Like, why are you wearing them in bed?
Whereas you're a grammar Nazi.
If someone used the wrong, Vaughan, if someone used the wrong you're or there or there or there,
you'd be like, oh, they're out.
Oh, yeah.
I'd be like, no, no, no, no.
What if they're a 10, though?
And they used to wrong their, their, your, your.
That's okay.
No, but this is between socks and bed.
I know, but I'm just like.
So if there are 10 that wear socks and bed.
Yep, with poor grammar.
I would rather be with the 10 that wear socks and bed.
Okay, right.
Okay, right.
With poor grammar.
I mean, it's great to have choice, you know.
It's great to be able to meet a 10 and be like...
Majority agrees with you.
Poor grammar, 82% is more of a deal breaker
than socks in bed.
Okay.
I don't understand why wearing socks in bed
is a deal breaker.
My feet get cold.
And then someone said,
feet are gross.
Why do you want your BF's nasty feet touching yours?
Right. So that's more of a foot-phobe.
Yeah.
Dislikes cats versus dislike dogs.
Surely more people would be cat people, wouldn't they?
They're not, though, are they?
They're going to be dog people.
People can dislike cats, and people are like, that's okay.
But if you're like, I don't like dogs, people are like,
what's wrong with you?
Yeah, right.
Like if you vocalise your dislike for a dog, there's something wrong with you.
But you're like, I'm not a cat person.
People are like, that's understandable.
Because you always say you're a stupid little dog.
But then when he's in here, you're like, come on, come here.
No, but he is a stupid little dog.
But you love him.
I'd rather have a cat though.
Okay.
Well, 70% of people say dislike dogs is more of a deal breaker.
Yeah, I thought it was me.
Disliking cats, wow.
Someone said if you dislike any animal, we're over.
I can understand why people dislike cats,
but if you dislike dogs, what the F is wrong with you?
What about ferrets though?
Or hamsters?
You're allowed to dislike them.
Yeah, rodents, you're allowed to dislike rodents.
Yeah, absolutely.
What about pigeons?
You're allowed to dislike pigeons
Yeah absolutely
This is the closest one
And seagulls
No that's our fault
In fact pigeons is our fault as well
No I'm allowed to dislike both of them
Humans did that
We made them what they are
That's on us
This deal breaker is the closest
Which is worse?
Bad fashion or annoying laugh?
Why did you look at me with annoying laugh?
And bad fashion.
Let's just say both of those are represented in this room.
Yeah, your fashion choices are shoddy.
I'm definitely talking about fledge.
I'll giggles McGee over here.
Bad fashion or an annoying laugh?
It's so close.
We're talking 51% versus...
You can't change someone's laugh,
whereas fashion you could probably put some work in.
That would be the thing that's unique
and that you love about them, right?
Yeah.
Their fashion.
Or their laugh.
Their laugh.
So bad fashion...
Yeah, if you find someone's laugh annoying,
you probably shouldn't be with them, right?
Yeah.
Laughs are supposed to bring light to life
Yeah
Bad fashion 51%
Okay
More of a deal breaker
Bad music taste versus a smoker
You'd go smoker right
Sure
That's the biggest deal breaker
Because they can listen to this
You can always bring them round to some of your music right
Yeah or they can wear headphones
84% said smoker.
Yeah.
Someone said, who even smokes anymore?
Yesterday, walking back from the movie, I saw someone smoking.
I was like, I cannot remember the last time I saw someone smoke.
I saw a young person smoking and I was like, oh.
Because everyone I know that smokes has gone to vaping.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And lastly, being messy or being lazy, which is the biggest deal breaker.
Lazy.
I don't.
Because if you're messy, you'd be like, you're not too lazy to clean it.
You're just messy.
Maybe unintentionally.
I was going to say, if you're lazy, wouldn't you be messy?
But you're lazy.
But I wouldn't consider you necessarily.
Oh, no, your car was pretty yuck.
I'm nor lazy nor messy.
You're both.
You're actually both. This is your car was pretty yuck. I'm nor lazy nor messy. You're both. You're actually both.
This is confronting for you, I know.
Being lazy is more of a deal breaker, 69%.
Okay.
Yeah, because if you're a person that wants to do something,
but lazy or lazy magoo is like, nah, I don't want to do anything.
You can be fun and still be messy.
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sometimes being messy is fun.
Fleshforn and Megan, Vaughan and Megan.
The podcast.
ZM.
Fact of the day.
Day, day, day, day.
Paul, start from you.
What was that?
Rough start.
It's coming in hot.
Yeah, rough start.
I think I hit the wrong note.
Hey, these things happen.
Yeah.
Today's fact of the day is about bears eating honey.
Okay.
You might see a bear putting its claw into a wild...
Winnie the Pooh?
Yeah, Winnie the Pooh famously loved a bit of honey.
Famously loves honey.
Quite a rotund wee bear was Winnie the Pooh around the midsection. Don't fetch on Winnie the Pooh? Yeah, Winnie the Pooh famously loved a bit of honey. Famously loves honey. Quite a rotund wee bear was Winnie the Pooh.
Yeah, around the midsection.
Don't fetch him, Winnie the Pooh.
It's like he was preparing for hibernation when he wasn't hibernating.
But he always ate it out of the pot.
There was the odd occasion where Winnie the Pooh would find himself stuck in a tree trunk
trying to get into some honey.
Well, he's been forced into that situation though, hasn't he?
Because of the price of honey at the supermarket. Have you seen it? He's been forced to go to the honey. Well, he's been forced into that situation though, hasn't he? Because of the price of honey
at the supermarket.
Have you seen it?
He's been forced to go
to the source.
Yeah, I'm not surprised
he can't afford it.
Just rob the bees.
Yeah, he's robbing beekeepers.
And in the Jungle Book,
Baloo the bear,
he, in both the original
and the remake,
famously loved
a little bit of honey,
considered it one of life's
bear necessities.
However,
when bears try to eat honey,
sorry, eat beehives,
they're not trying to eat the honey.
What, the wax?
No.
What are they trying to eat?
They're trying to eat the baby bees
and the larvae of the bees.
Ruthless.
Immature bees,
not because they make fart jokes,
but immature as they have not yet reached adulthood
and can't be active participants in the buzzing world of honey making.
Yep.
They are full of protein and apparently fat and protein.
Wow.
And apparently delicious eating.
Wow.
And a bee, well, over millions of years of evolution,
have worked out that that's a pretty good source of what they need to grow
and also for pre-hibernation.
So they get the pupae, the larvae, the eggs,
and that's why they just eat the whole honeycomb.
And the honey goes everywhere because it's surrounded by it.
And so they've been wrongly kind of painted as loving honey.
Yeah.
But in fact, they don't.
They love the pupae, the larvae and the eggs of the immature bees
that are inside because that's what honeycomb is, right?
It's like the bees preparing their next lot.
Yeah.
But we just keep going, hee-hee-hee, and taking the honey.
That sounds.
And they're like, oh, we're going to have to keep making more honey.
And they just keep working and then the bears come along and eat everything as well, but, oh, we're going to have to keep making more honey. And they just keep working, and then the bears come along
and eat everything as well, but obviously not in New Zealand
because we don't have bears.
Yeah.
But today's fact of the day is that when you see bears eating honey,
the honeycomb, they're actually trying to eat the baby bees,
not the honey.
Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.
Oh, Marilyn's just messaged.
Oh, what's old man saying?
Marilyn said same goes for when bears eat salmon.
They're not so much interested in the fish, they're interested in the eggs, the roe, because it's heaps of fat and protein.
That's why sometimes you'll see, like, the salmon hardly touched,
but they've torn it open, eaten out all the roe.
Right, all the insides.
It's just the baby eggs and then dumped the salmon.
I need to team up with a bear because I don't like the roe,
but I like the salmon.
They can have the roe.
I'll have the salmon.
Yep.
You don't like baby bees. That is a waste-not combo.
Yeah.
It's like turning up as someone who eats the other part of the Cadbury favorites.
Yeah.
It's finding that person in your life that likes the Boost bar or the Morrow Gold or the Turkish Delight.
I like all of those.
That's why we're friends.
You like all the other ones as well, right?
No.
Oh, what one don't you like? I don't like the Caramello. I love the Caramello. See, you like all the other ones as well, right? No. Oh, what one don't you like?
I don't like the caramello.
I love the caramello.
See, that's why we're friends.
That's why we're friends.
Cool.
Oh, me?
Yeah.
What would we eat if we were eating a box of roses?
Oh.
I like the coffee one.
I like the strawberry and...
Is it the strawberry one?
I love that one.
I like the peppermint. I don't like the oozy coffee one. I like the strawberry and... Is it the strawberry one? I love that one. I like the peppermint.
I don't like the oozy caramel one.
Oh, I love that caramel business.
I don't like the hard yuck ones.
Or the one with the nut in the middle.
Yeah, I like that.
I like that.
It's like a Bergie school of diamonds.
I'm pretty sure we'd eat anything between us.
Yeah, we get it done.
We get it done.
ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.
The podcast.
Weird McGoose nose.
It's a look on the show at our pregnant co-worker who already was prone to a nap.
Yeah.
Loves a nap.
Always has.
And now pregnant, obviously more tired.
Growing another human inside can be exhausting stuff.
It's hard work.
It's hard yakka.
You've got a nap for two now.
Yeah.
Can't just nap for you.
That's a good call.
Yeah.
You'll be napping for two.
Yesterday you fell asleep in a movie preview.
I have to preface this by saying the movie was really good.
Yeah, because this isn't obviously what movies want people to do when they go to the movie.
It's not off.
And I've fought it for so long because I was enjoying the movie.
But we were in a lovely cinema with reclined seats
and I was like, one eye closed.
I was like, I thought if I could reach one eye.
You should never go into any reclined position if one is feeling snoozy.
I thought I'd rest one eye.
One eye at a time.
And then switch.
And then there's that cross where one shuts and the other one's supposed to open.
You're like, wait, no, the bush hit.
And then you're like, I'll just do a long bleak.
I'll just rest it for a second.
And I was out.
Now, Executive Intern Anya, you were next to Megan.
You saw her recline her seat.
Yeah, I saw her go down about three quarters of the way through the movie.
And we'd had a pre-movie scone.
And I thought...
Oh, a doughy scone, yes.
Yeah, I thought this is not going to end well.
And then maybe two minutes later, there was some snores.
Yep.
Snores?
No, I snored once.
I snored once and then I looked up And looked over
Hold on you were asleep
You don't know how many times
You snored
How many times did she snore
I'm so sorry bud
There were quite a few snores
A prolonged snoring
Because I thought
I snored once
And woke myself up
And I looked over at her
And I was like
Did she hear that
And that's when she laughed at me
How many snores
Considering this
Is one
Like in and. Is one.
Like, in and out is one snore.
In and out is one.
22.
Were they cute?
I'm a cute snorer, though, eh? They were cute.
It wasn't annoying.
Could you demonstrate, Megan?
Replicate for us a cute snore.
Okay.
It was quite like, because she was, what's the word, horizontal at this point.
So it was quite like a.
Oh, no. Oh, no. It was all mouth. It was all mouth. It word, horizontal at this point. So it's quite like a... Oh, no.
Oh, no, it was all mouth.
It was quite natural.
It was a bit gurgly.
It sounded a bit gurgly.
It was a little.
Yeah.
I was also mortified because this is a preview
and across the aisle from us was Simon Dallow.
And I was like, Simon Dallow.
Simon Dallow is not pregnant nor getting up at four in the morning.
But, like, I have it on fair authority that I don't think anyone else heard me.
No.
Did Simon Dallow, like, look over?
Did he look around?
No.
Professional.
But then I said, Simon, check this gal out.
Hey, Simon, you should talk about this on the news.
And he's, like, leading the news tonight, New Zealand.
Breaking news.
We've got a snorer over the aisle.
Fletchvorner Megan, New Zealand. Breaking news. We've got a snorer over there. Saw this pop up on a, we actually got sent it for community notices.
Okay.
Someone complaining that the road marking had happened in the area
and the solid white line on the left-hand side of the road.
Yep.
Has that got a name?
It does. It does. Yeah, we talked about Yep. Has it got a name? It does.
Yeah, we talked about it.
It's got a name.
Fog line.
Fog line.
Fog line.
Because if you get blinded by anything, you can look at that line.
And know where it is.
And know where you're going.
When you turn your fog lights on or lights on in fog and put them on low,
you'll be able to see that white line.
But if it's really that bad, I'd probably just kind of like get off the road.
Yeah, totally. I'm not just like going to be going 80 k's an hour relying on a line that i'm
not even looking at because then you're not seeing the deer that's in front of you watch out ah crash
uh so you're just referencing succession no i wasn't but yes i was yes subconsciously i just
finished season one and that was season one finale. Oh, you wait, baby.
Season two's got it all.
It's a great show, isn't it?
Great show.
Great show.
Great show.
What's it on?
Neon.
Neon.
It's about a really rich,
it's kind of based on the Murdochs apparently,
but we're not here to talk about succession,
although it is very good.
Tom and Greg.
Tom and Greg's relationship was a great dynamic on that show.
Anyway, anyway.
It was a brilliant show.
Anyway, So the people
were remarking the fog line,
the solid white line on the left-hand side
as you drive. What part of the country
is this? Do we know?
Yeah, I forgot. Anyway, it's not
important. Well, actually
it's very important, Vaughan, because
it would be quite good to relate
it to those people in that region because they could be like,
well, no, because then we're excluding everybody else
from all around the country.
So why can't people just imagine it happened in their region
and be happy with it?
People can chuckle that another region is silly enough to do this.
Well, why in their minds can't they establish
if they want to laugh at a region for doing it,
they can pick a region in their mind.
Everybody pictured it.
The minute we started talking about Fogline,
everyone pictured their local road.
Plenum, a part of the road.
It actually wasn't.
It was Pukekohe.
Well, I think she just made Blenheim up because she wanted it to be Blenheim.
That's what I said.
Oh, okay.
Right, make it up.
I'm giving people's minds the details.
This happened on Cape Hill Road in Pukekohe.
So a piece of roadkill, which in this situation happened to be a dead possum.
Have you seen the photo, Megan?
So it was dead right where the fog line went
and the truck,
because this is just automatic.
Yeah.
They just drive and it tells them where to keep it.
It's not like when they're doing,
like when they're riding stop
or doing the giveaway triangle or something.
Or they get out.
It's a bit more hands on.
This is just,
they just drive and it,
and someone may have been
distracted momentarily
and they didn't see the possum,
the paint line went over
the possum,
thus leaving a gap
underneath the possum
that doesn't have
a fresh fog line.
I mean,
if they leave it there
long enough,
technically it will just
mush into the road,
won't it?
Yeah.
And the white line
will mush in as well.
I wonder if it'll,
a hawk will eat it
before then.
Oh yeah,
but then the hawk's like painted roadkill. Oh, yeah. But then the hawk's light painted roadkill.
No, the paint might point the hawk off.
But the hawk doesn't eat the fur anyway.
The hawk will tear that open and eat the rich innards.
The rich innards.
The vitamins and proteins.
The rich innards.
It requires from the possum.
Maybe eat the possum's eyeballs.
Okay.
But I wouldn't imagine the sinewy parts
wouldn't tickle the New Zealand falcon's fancy.
Well, the Auckland Transport have admitted the mistake
and they've promised to rectify it.
You should have seen some of the comments.
It was like, someone should lose their job
and they're paid too much already to make these dumb, stupid mistakes
and this will be, Jacinda got called out for it.
Right, it's her fault, is it?
It's her fault.
She was driving the truck, did you not know?
But I would have thought you'd be quite focused on
like where you were on the road.
You'd have a lot of positions to be holding
and looking out for.
I would think so.
No, I would just be in the truck and being like,
oh yuck, I'm not touching that to move it.
What about kicking it?
Over I go.
But also you can't stop easily because you're on a roll.
It's probably easier to go back and do a touch-up than it is to stop the truck
because you're on a roll, aren't you?
I mean, I don't know how line marking works.
Is it automated?
I feel like it could be.
You've got to push the lever forward to stop the paint from spraying.
You don't know this.
You don't know this. You don't know this.
Because if you stop and you, are you going to fade out the line and come back in and
fade it back in manually?
And then you'll see that there's a line stopped and started again.
I see that sometimes and I'm like, poor job, that.
Should have kept going.
Yeah, but now that I've got this.
Yeah, but it'll be easier to touch it up, surely.
It'll be, I reckon the guy that was driving or the girl that was driving,
one day wants to drive past to their kids
and be like, ran over a possum for the market.
See that 20 centimetre gap?
That's a mystery, that one.
A lot of people, that will buzz them out
and they won't know what's happened.
Possum was dead and I just ran it over.
ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.
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