ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast: 22nd September 2021

Episode Date: September 21, 2021

ATMS Whoopsie  Meal Planning Business  Top 6: Auckland Social Posts  Best Driving Song  When did someone overgift?  Fletch saw a Truck...  Refund your Date  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, barista made coffee available from drive-thru and McDelivery at level 3 and also dine-in at level 2. Well, yesterday afternoon while I was on my walk, I received a notification that I was tagged in somebody's Instagram story. Okay. Uh-oh. One Matty McLean from TVNZ's Breakfast program,

the weatherman. Yes. Who's been storming up a TikTok dance recently. Oh, God, hasn't he? And we were tagged in. He'd put up a picture of our podcast, and it was where we were calling him out for being competitive. And he said,

I have no idea where this competitive reputation came from I forget what we were What we were talking about We were talking about Megan's nails And how she could finally play Indoor Netball Indoor Netball is like insane And I said it's a court full of Maddie McLeans Because everybody thinks they're like chill

But they can't be chill He's not disputing it is he? No he's not We all saw him is he? No, he's not. He was laughing. I mean, we all saw him on Celebrity Treasure Island. Oh, Barbara fucking Kendall. Had no time for Barb. Hey, Barb, you forgot we're on the podcast for a second.

Yeah, I was. Not only are you swearing, you're actually going for the throat. Well, I messaged Matty and I said, ha, ha, ha, called out. And he said, actually, one of your listeners who begged me not to name them told me. So we've got a narc in the podcast. We've got a mole. We've got a mole. We've got a mole.

Are they going to tell Barbara fucking Kendall too? And so I said, well, we'll have to discuss this narc. And he said, well, like a good journalist, I'm not revealing my sources. So he won't tell me who the narc is so there's a person listening now that can't be trusted that can't be trusted so i don't know if we're gonna have to if we're gonna be allowed to say our secrets jesus you've polished off some licorice peppers you are gonna shit your pants no look it's still really full i'm just rationing i'm You were going to poo on the way home. We've got a similar length drive.

Is today the day I shit myself? You've really got to be like, okay, do I need a wheeze? If you see me pull over on the motorway, that's what's happened. Pull over on the land bridge, hop the fence, shit behind a flax bush. Do you have emergency toilet paper in your glove box? No. Tissues? Would you pull over and help me? No. I don't know how you're going to help me.

I'd pull in behind and I'd block my eyes, but I'd put the hazard lights on in my car so nobody crashed into your car because I hope they crash into mine and ride it off. Yeah. All right. Well, don't shit yourself on the way home. Yeah, please don't. I'll let you know. Good morning.

Welcome to the show, Fleach, Vaughn and Megan. Happy level three to Aucklanders, who apparently some were lining up at midnight at drive-thrus last night. And setting up tents. Like, just go now. Like, just wake up early. Or wait a day and go when everyone's chilled out.

Yeah. A madness. I mean, people need their own little lights at the end of the tunnel, don't they? They do And it's an excursion right? It's something to do Yeah Like mine's gonna be

A contactless order online At Mitre 10 And then I just turn it up And it's all on the trailer And then I just drive away with it I forgot about that I forgot about that Yeah

I know That's gonna be mine You'll be able to do some Tuddleing around Oh so much tuddling It's gonna be good stuff I know. That's going to be mine. You'll be able to do some tootling around. Oh, so much tootling. It's going to be good stuff. It's going to be good stuff. All right, the top six deals with this move to level three today.

Yeah, the top six types of social media posts you're going to be seeing from Aucklanders today. So just prepare yourself. Is this what kind of Aucklanders saw from the rest of the country when they went to Liverpool? Yeah, pretty much. Auckland's going to be... Yeah, so you can just bloody deal with it, all right? Yeah, they're going to be striking back with a vengeance. All right, that's coming up on the show.

Oh, whoops-a-daisy. Someone bought themselves a birthday present, but when it arrived, they were not happy with it. Not happy at all. I'll tell you why next. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Look, it was Bex's birthday from the Bay of Plenty. Happy birthday, Bex. Happy birthday, Bex. How old was

Bex? Oh, it's rude to ask. It doesn't say, yeah. Is there a photo of her there in your news article? No. Okay. But Bex was like, stuff it. I am going to treat myself. And she bought herself a birthday present. Okay. Good on you, Bex. Who doesn't buy themselves a birthday present, right?

Yeah. Any excuse? Yeah. This was a $700 birthday present. Wowza. So she was anticipating its arrival. Was this pre-lockdown? Was lockdown on the horizon during lockdown?

Earlier this month, it seems. Okay, so she was locked down. Yeah, yeah. Locked down. Anticipating its arrival and it gets there and it is damaged. So Bex bought

herself the Queen's Luxury Collection from Adult Toy Megastore. It sounded like a sheet set there for a second, didn't it? A Queen's Luxury. Yeah, or like a box set of DVD movies about the Queen. It does. This is

a box set. Is it $700? It is. This is how it's described. It is the Queen's Luxury Collection 12-piece set, 18 carat gold plated and matte black. It looks very fancy, but there

is 12 different pieces of pleasure in this box. Can we just marvel at the speed it took Vaughan to Google that? Yeah, I was typing it as Megan said. I even put in the gold. I didn't put 18 cards, but gold plated it. I'm proud of herself though, for like prioritising her own pleasure

and being willing to... Is it worth $700? What was wrong with it? You said damage. So she's put up a video and she's not embarrassed, and nor should she be, but she has said that the box, to me, it looks like they've had it there for a while

because obviously it's $700, right? Yeah. And the Satisfyer Pro 2 is like $60 tops. You can see that the box has been open and closed and open and closed because the back of the cardboard box, the little hinge has broken. Oh, yeah. Everybody's has more opened it for a look. It's got fingerprints.

Oh, it's the shelf one. It's got fingerprints on it. Oh, yeah. She says there were greasy finger marks on the side of the box. And so she did get in touch with them. She said two of the toys had deep scratches and the others had micro scratches. Right. Did they?

Yeah. Okay. Did the wonderful people there at Adult Toy. Megastore. Did they? Yeah. Because did they send you? Yeah, okay. Did the wonderful people there at Adult Toy... Megastore get in touch? Yeah, because did they send you one? I think it's only fair that they replace Bex's and then send me one too.

So she said, look, I didn't pay for secondhand items in an unsealed box. I wouldn't think that it was secondhand, but it does maybe look like it's been looked at. We're right. Well, if you're going to spend $700, you want to get in there and have a look, don't you? Yeah.

They shouldn't have sent the one off the shelf. So a spokesperson told Bex that it did look like some of it could be glue and could be rubbed off with a little elbow grease. So she should check if she can clean it. I feel like Pippa Wetzel and Hayden Jones. Yeah, Hayden Jones on Fair Go.

We're Fair Going. Yeah, I don't think you can have a $700 box of dillies on Fair Go. It's at 7 o'clock at night, 7.30. But some of us are boring. The woman this week, her shelf fell out of her fridge. I'm like, couldn't this be dealt with? They need sexier topics. Yeah.

I want to see a $700 14-piece dildo set on the telly. Do it at the last. Tease it through. People will be like, oh, that's disgusting. I'm turning off. They're not turning off. They're hanging around to see. They're hanging around to see why it costs $700.

That's why everybody stays till the end of the Fair Go episode. You want to see if they get a refund. Yeah. You want to see the insurance company come in and say, oh, if it hadn't been on Fair Go, we would never have given you this $20,000 check. So they offered Bex a $40 store credit, and they said, if you can't rub the glue off, we can try another option where you send the box back

and we send another one that we've had hygienically cleaned and rubbed away the glue. Oh, you'd do that option. She's not totally happy with that. I'm just looking at some of the individual aspects of this set. Okay, don't go, maybe don't go too far. They've got little things down the side giving you the points of it. Like this one, the Algenon.

This is remote control, 12 functions, super soft silicon, waterproof, USB rechargeable, memory function. Now, does that mean that it remembers what you like? Or does that mean it increases your memory function? No, it's got 128 gigs in it. So you can be like... You can put your photos on it. Oh, that's why it's USB chargeable.

Yeah. It is so slick looking. It's like matte black with gold trim. Yeah, it's a very good looking set. But like you said, the Satisfyer Pro, which everyone loves, is what? 60, 70 bucks. This is 700. Yeah, but it's essentially got a Satisfyer Pro in it.

Yeah, but who's $700 horny? Yeah, man. You can't put a price on horniness. You're in lockdown. She's in lockdown. It's her goddamn birthday. That's a $1,500 horniness. I'd spend $2,000 right now if I was guaranteed it.

Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. So while the internet's a bit weirded out by a dating situation, twins from Oregon are dating other twins. And they do 75% of their dates together. So from one family to another family. Yeah. And then three months in, they all moved into the same apartment. Oh, what?

What? Christmas easy, doesn't it? Yes. So you're... I don't like it. And they go on double dates all the time. And everyone's just like, this is a bit weird. Yeah.

Twins? I don't understand twins, though. No, neither. I think there's something that you don't understand about twins unless you are a twin. And they're either like ridiculously close, reading each other's thoughts, never get sick of each other because they're the same person, or they are so fiercely competitive

that they want to kill each other. But yeah, then there's that twin bond. And then if you were a twin and you found other twins and then hello, it'd be hard to explain. Yeah.

So if you have kids you would be... Genetically sibling cousins. If they're identical twins. Yeah. Well they are. They're both. Both sets of identical twins. Genetically they'd be sibling cousins. Very similar.

Identical but like you could still tell. The girls are more identical than the dudes. Are those dudes twins? Yeah. I guess it kind of makes sense, though, that they're attracted, you know. To the same thing, same person.

They definitely get asked if they swap, eh? Oh, 100%. That was the first thing you wanted to ask. 100%. So what is it? you wanted to ask. 100%. So what is it? Does the internet find it weird? Yeah, that's basically why this is a news story. Because everyone's like, that's weird.

It's not like they're step-siblings who grew up together and ended up hooking up as teenagers. That's not weird, but that's interesting to think about. Yeah. Not in think about. Yeah. Not in that way. Anyway, okay. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. There is another meal kit, another meal planning business.

It's called Menu Aid. Now, this is from our young entrepreneur, Toby Skilton. This is not his first dabble into business. He's had some other pretty successful ventures. The name rings a bell. Mutu was what he did. Oh, we talked to him after the very first, like last year. Mutu was an app which allowed people to rent things they had

to other people if they didn't want to buy them. Yeah, like you could rent out your lawnmower to someone for the afternoon. Oh, well, I don't want to do that. It's like renting out my child to do tasks. Okay, well, a spade or something that you don't love. Do you love your spade? I love all my spades. You love all your tools, do you?

Yeah, I don't. His first business was Scarfies Repairs, so fixing damaged student flats in Dunedin. That would have been a moneymaker, I'm sure. Something to see, yeah. So Menu Aid is based around e-meals and WISC, which are international meal planning platforms. So is this another My Food, Hello, Work or whatever?

So this is cheaper. So basically Menu Aid subscriptions start at $4 a week. There is vegetarian and balanced options. But they've enlisted the help of some chefs, MasterChef Brett McGregor and Helen Jackson. They've written the menus. So you buy the menus and they give you the inspiration and they also give you a shopping list.

So you get five meals. The shopping list is generated. You can then remove items and swap out things that you don't like. And then you can order your groceries online through Menu Aid and they'll be delivered from supermarkets. Or you can shop yourself because the delivery fee, I think, is something like $14. But they reckon that it is about $50 cheaper than the cost of other big meal kit services.

And it reduces the waste because a lot of these meal kits come with lots of packaging and stuff. Ice packs and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. So basically you're a bit more in charge of your, there was a great way they put it, your waste profile.

You're in charge of your waste profile. So you could, for $5 a week, they send you all your dinner plans and then you just go to the supermarket with the shopping list. Yeah, essentially you could do that. We're so lazy, aren't we? All these meal things. But also a lot of people aren't very skilled in the kitchen. Yeah, that's true.

And don't know a lot of recipes. You have like your go-tos. But if you're like, oh, I just need to branch out a bit. Like they give you the inspo, they give you the ingredients and they give you the instructions. Don't know a lot of recipes. You have like your go-tos. But if you're like, oh, I just need to branch out a bit. Like they give you the inspo. They give you the ingredients and they give you the instructions. And then you can do it yourself. I should try a bag of coleslaw.

I don't have a bag of coleslaw. Yeah, but it's only good if you add heaps of mayo. Bingo. That's what I was just about to say. You buy the coleslaw, then you buy the stuff to make it good. Yeah, yeah. Like you can add seeds. There's no rules to a bag of coleslaw, by the way. I don't know if anyone's said

that there's any sort of rules. You can do what you want with that bag of coleslaw. Sometimes I'll put like half a bottle of that Waddy's burger sauce in there. Now that's a shit hot coleslaw. That's Wughn Smith. You sign up for $5 a week, he tells you to buy a bag of raw coleslaw. Now not at this time of the year, but in January,

and then get one of those tub of cherry tomatoes, and when they're like $2 for a tub of cherry tomatoes, they're still like $5 or $6 at the moment, so you've got to use them sparingly. Pour a whole tub in there. Again, no rules to a bag of coleslaw. And some mayo. You shake it up in the bag.

Okay. And then you put it in the container that's going to hold it. Okay, thank God I have you. I would never have known to do this. I should launch my food prep service. Basic bitch. Vaughnslaw. Vaughnslaw, yes.

And just on the back of the bag, it's got like, do you want to make this boring-ass bag of chopped-up cabbage a little more exciting? Here's my recommendations, but I'm not actually having... They're paying through the roof for chopped-up cabbage and some grated carrot. Yeah, I don't know how well this business will go. We'll see.

From the oily ZM think tank, this is the Top 6. Hello there. Today's Top 6 dealing with the fact Auckland is the Top 6. Hello there. Today's Top 6 dealing with the fact Auckland is moving into Level 3, baby. And it is the Top 6 types of social media posts you're going to see from Aucklanders today. So just after midnight, 12.30, somebody counted 80 cars in line at Maccas on Lincoln Road in West Auckland. They obviously opened at midnight. Amazing. in line at Maccas on Lincoln Road in West Auckland. They know your audience. They obviously open at midnight. Amazing.

If you've never been to Lincoln Road in West Auckland, it's got more... Yeah, takeaway lane, eh? Takeaway mile, is that what they call it? It's got more takeaway joints per kilometre than any other road in New Zealand. It's got everything. Wasn't there that journalist that did,

he ate there at every single one of them? Yeah, he started at one end, but by the time he got to the other, two had popped up in his park. Oh my God. Where he'd just been. That was a really interesting series to read. He's not with us.

Yeah, he didn't look before he crossed the end of Lincoln Road. He got run over. It's a very busy road. You've got to look both ways. So the top six types of social media posts you're going to be seeing from Aucklanders today. Number six, takeaways. Aucklanders eating takeaways. 100%.

Level three is level four with takeaways. Number five on the list of the top six social media posts you're going to see from Aucklanders today. People saying, don't get takeaways, support local. And then linking to their favourite local eatery that's also doing contactless pickup. Yeah. Fair call. A little high and mighty. A little high and mighty.

Get out there, support them. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I'm all for it, but people can get a little high and mighty. Yeah. About the... I mean, let's be honest. We're going to be eating at all of them.

Yeah. Get in line. Yeah. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six types of social media posts you're going to see from Aucklanders today. The self-righteous, I'm not having takeaways today because I'm a chef, home-cooked meal post.

It's going to be some grim-ass looking spaghetti. Why don't you both look at me? It's going to be some grim-ass looking spaghetti bolognese or something. So my kids actually like this better than takeaways. They don't. They don't. They don't. I was a kid once. better than takeaways. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't.

I was a kid once. I can tell you they don't. Oh, my God. Number three on the list of the top six types of social media posts you're going to be seeing from Aucklanders today. Someone's struggling through their HelloFresh sponsored post even though they really don't want to be finally dicing effing red onions anymore.

Secretly told. That was probably a couple of days ago. They had to get that approved by the client. So they're probably absolutely shoving burgers in their face as they're telling you to use their HelloFresh discount code. Number two on the list of the top six social media posts you're going to see from Aucklanders today. People who got to their takeaway joint of choice,

saw the line, and just decided to go home to their 87th bag of teagull takeaways. The takeaways you don't need to leave home for. Yum, teagull takeouts. They must have done bloody well. In lockdown. Bloody well in lockdown.

And number one on the list of the top six types of social media posts you're going to see from Aucklanders today, coffee. Oh, lots of coffee. Lots of coffee. It's going to be coffee. It's going to see from Aucklanders today. Coffee. Oh, lots of coffee. Lots of coffee. It's going to be coffee. It's going to be delicious.

It'll take away coffee. That's today's top six. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. In London, they polled a bunch of people on what the best driving song ever was. Like for a roadie. For a roadie. A real sing-along belter. When you're in a car full of people.

It's not quite the same when you're by yourself and you put one of these on, you're like... What? No, it absolutely is. No, it's not. No, there's no one to shame you with your singing and you can really let loose. Everyone else eggs you on.

And like when you've got one of these, although we did a traffic light one the other day. What was that one? We stopped at the traffic lights and wound down the window. It's a song. Oh, what was it? Well, you two did this. Yeah.

You two were talking about it. On the way. It was a Kiwi song, wasn't it? I don't know. I'll search in my history of things that I've searched and it will tell me. It was like the highlight of the day. Oh, that's really sad.

Was it the Fugees? No. We pulled up at the traffic lights and wound down the window and we were both having a jam. Wow. Okay. Cool. So this is a top ten.

I'm going to play you the top four. But in the top ten, it includes Eye of the Tiger, Uptown Girl, Billy Joel, Happy, Pharrell, I Got a Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas, and the final countdown. Oh, and Don't Stop Believing by Journey. They all made it into the top ten. Okay. But the top four.

So 22% of people voted that Fleetwood Mac's Go Your Own Way. It's got that driving feel to it too, doesn't it? Wasn't it in an ad? It feels like it could be a car ad. Yeah. For the new Mitsubishi Outlander. Yeah, you go your own way. Filled in controlled circumstances.

Yeah, yeah. Filmed on a closed road. Yeah. Okay. 24% of people really like Bon Jovi's Living on a closed road. Yeah. Okay. 24% of people really like Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer. Isuzu. It was in an Isuzu ad.

Was it? Okay, great. I'm going to fast forward this to the... Oh, and that bit. Yep. You're the person in the car that does that. I thought you were going to fast forward to the woes. Here we go, here we go, here we go. Yeah, it's an absolute.

That's a good driving song. Yeah. 25% a quarter of people say the Dancing Queen. God, I hate ABBA. Just don't hate ABBA. I can't stand them. Do you? Like, if they didn't exist, I mean, like, it wouldn't bother me.

Well, lucky they're getting back together. I know. Joy. Yay for everybody. But the number one driving song, I don't think you can go wrong. Is this the real life? Yeah. I know, yeah, yeah.

Because it's got everything. It's just bad to see. Every range. Sopranos. There's a bass in there. No escape from reality. Yeah, okay. This is what it's like to go on a road trip with Vaughn.

Good fun. You try and do every bit that's the trouble. I can never stick to one. It's like when I promised Sade, I'm only going to do the Anna part of the Elsa and Anna duet. Do you want to build a snowman? I can't help myself. I've got to do both.

You do it. I've got to do both. That is the number one driving song. CDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. We'd love to know when you've over gifted or been a part of an over gifting. This has happened. If you were at this birthday party,

you'd just give up because Kim Kardashian gave her ex-personal assistant, Stephanie, a $25,000 Hermes Cali bag. It was for her 32nd birthday. Wow. Did she go last at this party? Unsure. Because that's, imagine she goes, here's your present,

and then everyone else's presents are still left unopened. You'd be like, don't even bother with mine. Yeah. And she cries. She's moved to tears. She's like, I was going to buy a knockoff. The knockoffs are still like three grand. So she was just a handbag.

This is out of control. There's people starving in the world, and there's a $32,000 handbag That's This is madness You're about to say that's cheap Well I mean a Birkin The most expensive one's like half a million dollars

That's absolutely god damn stupid ridiculous Crocodile from like the Nile Isn't that the GDP of Fiji or something? Yeah well at the moment it is Kylie Jenner's got like 100. But you, this is like, I don't have one. But people buy them as investment pieces because the resale is so high. Are you kidding me?

There's an investment market for handbags. 100% Wow. Also, let's be honest. Kim Kardashian is giving this ex-assistant a $25,000 handbag. She didn't buy this, right? She would have been gifted this. No, she would have bought it.

She would have bought it. She would have definitely bought it. These are like a waiting list for these Hermes bags. Like, you can't just rock up and buy one. People are nuts, eh? This is insane. Yeah. Also, her ex-assistant will know where the bodies are buried.

You've got to keep her on side. Yeah, I wonder if that might be the case. So the cynical part of me is like, that's why. Because she's the ex-assistant. You've got to keep her even more so on side because she's under contract. Exactly. Although she probably would have signed an NDA, but you know. 100% still though, keep them on side.

Yeah. But yeah, there were other people at this party who you'd imagine are just like you know don't earn what Kim K earns and would have given her presents and you're like oh okay cool. Yeah. I've seen that happen but not on that kind of scale. Of course.

Like even was it our work Christmas party somebody blew someone out of the water. That was like awkward. Hey. Yeah because i'm pretty sure we all agreed on a gift limit of like 15 what was it 20 bucks oh what was the present yeah was it a fitbit oh yeah but that was a they had got that free or something there's no way they paid for that that was like something they got like given or they got given and it was a double up and then they were just like, I'll add that to the

thing. Yeah. 100%. No, I don't know. It wasn't like the fancy, fancy one, wasn't it? No, but it was like they'd blown the $20 budget for sure. And they made the rest of us look like, because mine was from that $1, $2, $3 shop.

We all thought it was like fun to do joke presents. Yeah, funny joke presents. I got a funny joke present. I just thought no one around here is worth wasting that amount of money on. That's yeah, silly. It's silly. It's not quite as silly to the level of the fact

that there is a handbag worth that much money. That's ridiculous. So when did someone overgift? Maybe it was a work function. Maybe that's how you found out that they liked you. Trying to impress you with a fancy-ass present. But that's just embarrassing. Or even just a birthday and friends

are just trying to outdo each other. So someone goes way overboard. You guys are welcome to outdo each other for presents for me. Absolutely not. You've come to the wrong turn. Did you not just hear our gas at a $25,000 handbag? And that was just the fact that it exists.

Yeah. I was so angry. Alright, well we want to take your calls this morning. Right now, 0800 dials at M. You can text as well, 9696. When did someone over-gift? So we want to know when someone is over-gifted. Kim Kardashian has gifted her old assistant a $25,000 Hermes bag. So this was in front of people at her birthday party

and blew everyone else out of the water. Unbelievable. I mean, she can afford it. And if she didn't spend that much, she'd kind of be like, well, I was your right-hand woman for however many years. Well, I don't know if we're going to beat a $25,000 handbag, but we want to know from you when somebody has over-gifted. Some text messages on the subject. Someone said, someone gave my daughter $200 cash for her second birthday.

Whoa. I felt so awkward. I was like, no, this is silly. And I tried to give it back. She wouldn't take it back. And then it became like a thing, and then it only got worse from there. So... Was this just a

friend? Yeah. Someone said, this is another $200 one, one of the new girls at work contributed $200 to the whip around for someone's leaving gift. That's always, yeah, that's way too much. Way too much for a leaving gift. Uh,

Abby, when did somebody over gift? Uh, so I've been dating my boyfriend for about two months and Christmas came up real quick and his parents gave me a $200 voucher to glasses. And yeah, it was, uh,

it was pretty overwhelming when I realised where the decimal point was. Yeah, you would have just been like, 20's fine, but they must have really liked you. They were like, oh, we need this one to stick around. Yeah, exactly. We had never met before. I had only bought them an Akoya candle. I mean, it was Akoya,

but I had only bought them a candle. Lovely candles, yeah. Even that, I would say that's a bit too fancy for the parents you've never met. I mean, I was trying to make a good impression, you know, got stuck in family. Are you still with this boyfriend now? Yes, we're coming up to the second Christmas. Okay, that's good. What are you thinking?

I don't think you need to up it any more than what you did last year. Yeah, exactly. I think I might. I mean, I went to a factory sale of a Koya, so I have one packed away. I can always just bring another one. Where's this factory sale? Yes, do that. What happens if they don't give you as good a present, though,

now that they know you? I don't really know. I know my boyfriend had a very stern talking to them because my parents only gave him a $50 Catman do voucher. To me, it's different strokes for different folks. It doesn't matter the value of it.

$50 to your boyfriend's parents might be $200 to, hold on, who am I talking about again? $50 to your boyfriend's parents might be $200 to, hold on, who am I talking about again? $50 to your parents might be $200 to them. You know, that's all relative. It's the thought that counts. Maybe you shouldn't have had a word to them because now your next gift is going to be less.

Yeah. He's really screwed that up, isn't he? What a dickhead. That should not work well for me. No, Abby, thanks for your call. Hamish, Hamish, when did somebody over-gift? Yeah, so for our wedding, we decided that we'd, like, because we didn't invite many people, I think we had, like, 50, maybe 60 people.

Okay. And obviously, like, not all of them showed up as well. Yeah. But we had a price limit of, like, $100, $200 or something like that, but we wanted to keep, like, a real, like, like surprising, like spontaneous survivor on the whole thing. So just like, um, if you're going to gift, try to keep it under this amount of value. Um, and don't put your name or anything on the card. Cause we want to sort of have sort of a surprise factor about it. Um, and most of the gifts were within the same value of which we are.

But we opened up a card with $1,000 in it. And, like, true to what we were asking, there was no name on the card or anything like that. So, like, cool. And then my auntie puts her hand up in the back because it was a whole opening situation. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that was for me.

Just everybody wants everybody to know I've given them $1,000, everybody. Hello. Auntie. Brilliant. Thanks, you're cool. Brilliant. Some messages in. I'm guilty of this.

Someone said I bought my boyfriend an electric drum kit for his 21st. It was $1,200. I just didn't know what else to get him. I panicked. $1,200? Also, you have to live with that annoying drumming.

Yeah. No, they can put it on their heads. It's electric. Yeah, and then you just hear this. Even still. You haven't thought

that gift through. Yeah, a lot of, then it's just tap, tap, tappity, tap, tap. Unless you've got a shed. I gave my ex-boyfriend a trip to Vegas for his 30th. We broke up a month after we got back. It was mentioned that perhaps I'd gone a little overboard.

I don't know, that seems like a nice thing, right? Yeah. My husband gave me a $6,500 diamond ring for my 30th birthday. Two years prior, I got him a $100 platter for his 30th birthday. Wow. Somebody else said, I haven't had an actual birthday present for two years. Oh. From anyone?

Due to lockdown happening twice on my August birthdays. By the time level two comes around, even my partner conveniently forgets about the birthday presents. It's just a bit of a downer to end on, really. Yeah. Anyone else got a cool story about how someone blew too much cash on them? Just so we can finish on some of this. Well, if that sounded like your partner,

if your partner said two years in lockdown. Why them a present your partner your partner said too why them a present they haven't forgotten why them a present yeah they haven't forgotten ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan a male school teacher this is in the US

has felt some heat from a fellow staffer so he has been providing period products for his female students or his students

that have periods and his fellow partner period products for his female students or his students that have periods. And his fellow partner, fellow staffer, so this is Susan who he works with. He likes to point out that she is 60. She thinks it's inappropriate that he has these available for his female students. She said it's weird because you're a male. So he went online to ask everyone, is this odd if I provide these for my students?

He has daughters himself, which he has bought a bunch of tampons and pads for, as you would. So he said that he has bought a basket, which he has in his classroom, and he keeps it stocked up. So they don't need to go to him to ask. So just leave it in the corner at the back. Does he call it the administration station?

You've got to. I've seen workplaces that have got them. The administration station? Yeah. Yeah. But no word on that. Stupid old woman. Because initially I was like, maybe you would feel a little bit awkward asking your male teacher.

Yeah. But he's got a little basket so they don't have to. He just keeps it stocked up. I mean, there should just be a basket in the toilet, shouldn't there, in the bathrooms? Yeah. Just have a basket in there. There should be, but obviously they don't have that. So yeah, he put it out there and was like, hey, is this inappropriate?

I'm just trying to help. And after Susan gave him what for for it. So we decided to ask you, we did a little poll, like, is it inappropriate? Would you find it weird if a male teacher offered you period products? 91% said yes. Not that they'd find it weird. Male teachers supplying period products to students 91% said yes Yeah, it's all good

That's good Because I read this article and I was like No, I would have loved that When I was at school Because it normalises it It wouldn't make me feel so weird And does the gender of the person supplying it matter? I feel like it's almost better because

Now he's an ally And you know, he's helping us out And he's showing other guys as well that it's not weird. Yeah. Don't be weirded out by it. And they can help us out too, which is the overwhelming response that he got from online. Someone said, I think it's really sweet.

It gives him the message that it's totally normal, nothing to be hidden and ashamed of. Someone said, I wish you were one of my teachers. Every time I saw that basket, I would have felt love and acceptance. It's even cooler that you're a male teacher doing it. You're a great role model for the boys.

And someone said you're normalising treating women's needs as an ordinary part of life. Susan is the one behaving inappropriately. And it's an American school, so next time someone gets shot, they can plug the wound with the tampon to stem the bleeding. I mean, American schooling has far bigger problems

than a supportive teacher supplying sanitary products. Yesterday on my lockdown walk, I was nearing the end of my lockdown walk, and I was popping over the road to my lockdown walk and I was popping over the road to the supermarket, but I was you know, I'm always in a rush to go nowhere. Yeah, big rush to go nowhere. I was jaywalking and all these trucks had come through

the traffic lights because they'd just turned green. So I was like, alright, I'll wait for these trucks. You versus truck. Yeah, so I was like, well, I'm not going to jaywalk in front of giant trucks. Big truck and trailer units. But then I'm waiting on the side of the road and this is the weird thing that happened.

This massive truck, like two bits of truck. Truck and trailer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not one bit of truck. Real long. Two bits of truck. No, I appreciated that. Immediately I knew what you were talking about. It's not a miniature truck. It was a massive, the biggest truck you can get.

Is that like an 18-wheeler? 18-wheelers are pretty big. Big truck, big truck. It's coming full steam through the traffic lights. Has it got a flat face or a snout? I like the snouts better. No, it didn't have a snout. I don't believe.

No snout, no snout. I think the snouts are harder to drive. But I always think the snouts better. No, it didn't have a snout. I don't believe. No snout. No snout. I think the snouts are harder to drive, but I always think the snouts look tougher. I would, if I was a truck driver, I'd want a snout because that's like some buffer if you crash into something. Oh, I'd give cars a little nudge. Would you?

Right, okay. I'd be like, oh no, you don't pull in here. Nudge. But so the right where I'm about to jaywalk over this big road, the truck slams on its brakes and I'm like, oh my god, the truck driver thinks I'm hot, he's going to let me cross. I'm like,

that's really weird, he shouldn't do that. All the trucks behind him are over the intersection. He's causing a big, like he's, for no reason, I'm thinking he's going to let me cross the road. Like you're a duck. Like I'm a duck or a hot woman. Yeah. And it's at this point I'm like,'s going to let me cross the road Like you're a duck Like I'm a duck or a hot woman

And it's at this point I'm like what are you doing I'm like looking at him and he's like panicking And I look down and there's a seagull In front of him He stopped for a seagull He stopped for a seagull And the seagull was just like

Seagulls are a dime a dozen I know you don't stop for a seagull was just like, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Seagulls are a dime a dozen. I know. You don't stop for a seagull. You mow those down. Yeah, like rabbits and possums. Yeah. He might be a vegan truck driver. He might just be.

I don't think there's such thing as a vegan truck driver. No, I've never seen a vegan sausage roll at a truck stop. I mean, I could be wrong. And so this guy is just like looking at me like, has it gone? And I'm like, no, it's still there. And he's just like panicking. And I'm like, dude, it's a seagull.

It makes for a better species when we wipe out the weak ones. Because the ones that didn't get out of the truck, that's not a genetic trait that's going to be passed on to the next generation because that seagull has been removed. It's survival of the first. So meanwhile, the lights have gone red and these trucks are blocking the intersection

and this guy's waiting for the seagull. And then it finally skedaddles just out of his view to the side of the truck and I'm like, wave him through. I'm like, you're good. And he's like, starts up his big truck and I'm like, dude, it's a seagull. I can't believe he stopped for a seagull. Oh,

I think that's really sweet. I'm going to stop for a duck. Yeah, 100% I'd stop for a duck. God, if you're most of your ducklings, that's going to wear on your mind for a long time.

Yeah, that's, you know, my mum mowed through ducklings. Yeah, she still wakes up screaming, doesn't she? Sweating,

screaming. Well, it was either that or swim off the road and kill us all. excuse me, Zed has vegan sausage rolls. So there must be vegan truck drivers out there.

Oh, no, that's for... That's for mums. That's for mums, yeah. Happies need petrol too. Yeah, I'm talking about those truck, truck stops. Somebody said it would have damaged the truck, you idiot. I'm sorry, but if a seagull damages your truck, you need a better truck.

This is why you need the snout truck with the big Kenworth or the big angry dog on the front, the Mac. No, this was a toy. It wasn't a giant seagull. It was like, I'd say, a small seagull. It would ruin my day if I killed an animal. I wouldn't want to. No, it would have gone under the wheels.

And there's a grill. It wouldn't have ruined the truck. Yeah, it would have been exciting. There's no way. If it was a seagull, I would have come out the back and been like, holy shit, wait till I tell the rest of the people about this, wherever would have been exciting. It was not even the seagull. It would have come out the back and been like, holy shit! Wait till I tell the rest of the people about this wherever I live.

I don't know. Also, it would have got out. It would have... It would have got out of the way. Yeah. No doubt. It was just weird. Okay, two more text messages.

Okay. Please don't debate what animals' lives are worth taking. Yeah. I wouldn't want to run it over just for the record. It's a big fine

for running seagulls over No it's not Some of those gulls are endangered right He might have had a death wish No one's going to court because they ran over a seagull Your honour My client did not see the seagull

It was too late What are you in for I was driving my Hino and I ran over a seagull. And no, guilty. Off to prison. What are you in for? I was driving my Hino and I ran over a seagull. I mean, obviously you don't want to run over an animal but, you know, if you're on the road you're not taking evasive action

for a small bird. Because that puts actual human lives at risk. Well, he could have run you over, yeah, if he was swerved. Truck he's messaged in. Yep. Oh, my God. My truck hit a pukeko. Oh, goodness.

It had a death wish. Now, are those the little blue ones? Pukeko's. Yeah. They're the long-legged ones from the age. Oh, you don't like those. No, they're not a bird. No, I'm thinking of the...

The ones with the red. Yeah, what are those? No, no, no. The takahe are endangered. Takahe is the fat pukeko. Yeah, I like those. Yeah, me too. But pukeahē are endangered. Takahē is the fat pūkika. Yeah, I like those. Yeah, me too. But pūkikas are a dime a dozen.

Smash the Headlight costs $1,600 to get the headlight fixed. But this guy would have been crawling out of the ports, right? Yeah, yeah. He wasn't going 100 k's. Yeah. Yeah. Someone else said they're a protected species. Some of them are.

Not all of them. No. Not all seagulls. That's pretty why he slowed down. He needed to see. Some of them are. Not all of them. That's probably why he slowed down. He needed to see the colour of the beak. He had his bird. It's the black-billed gulls that are protected and the red gulls are just... It wasn't black.

It was red. It was a stock standard seagull. I swerve to miss dumplings. I would swerve to miss dumplings and then stop and get out and get the dumplings. Pork and chives. Yeah, I swerve to Miss Dumplings and then stop and get out and get the dumplings. Pork and chives. Yeah, I swerved to Miss Dumplings once. I'm not reading the rest of that.

Okay. Okay. Well, you know what? At least he saved a seagull's life yesterday. Somebody else said hawks are the scariest thing when you're in a truck because they wait till the last minute to get off the possum they're eating on the road.

Yeah, right. One came through my windscreen in Tekapo. They're solid birds and very angry. Imagine being in a truck cab with an angry hawk that's just come through your windscreen. With razor sharp talons.

No thanks. Yeah. Well, good to hear from the truckies this morning. Be safe. Thanks for all your service. This is a truckie. Megan still does that now as an adult when she's walking and sees a truck. The best is when they give you a real long one so you get the full. It really rumbles you. Yeah.

Please warn Megan. Refund your date. This is the segment of the show where we hear about bad dates. Dates that you think cost you money that you would like your money back for. Yeah. You obviously can't get that out of the person that you went on the date with. Maybe you asked. Maybe they said no.

Yeah. Maybe they asked you and you paid them and that's why you need the refund. Yeah. We don't know until we hear the story and today here to tell us the story and apply for a refund. David, good morning. Good morning, guys. How are you going? Good. Good. Thank you. So let's here to tell us the story and apply for a refund. David, good morning. Good morning, guys. How are you going? Good.

Good. Thanks. So let's go to the start. What happened? So a female was contracted to a company and after she was there a few days, I asked her out for a drink as we had some mutual friends in common and we decided to meet at a fancy restaurant in the viaduct. I won't name it and after work on Friday and when I arrived it was kind of easy to tell that she had

already had a few fizzy lemonades yeah something like that anyway um so I had a beer and just a snack and she just continued to have a few wines. Okay. And I just left my car keys on the table and she grabbed them and then proceeded to ask me which each key meant. Okay. So like car keys, door keys, whatever.

And I got to a key and I didn't really know what it was. So she took it off the key ring, gave it to the waiter and told him to throw it away. It turned out afterwards that it was actually my bedroom key, which I never locked, but it was actually a bedroom key.

Right. So, yeah, she continued drinking for a little bit. Wait, wait, wait, wait. So the waiter threw it away? Yeah. She was very insistent and I told him, no, it's actually my key.. So the waiter threw it away? Yeah. She was very insistent and I told him,

no, it's actually my key, but yeah, he threw it away. Where did he throw it? You're in the vineyard. He didn't throw it into the ocean, did he? No, he threw it

in like the trash somewhere in the restaurant. And then, yeah, about 10 minutes later, the manager came up because she was being quite loud and obnoxious and told us that we had to leave. Oh, wow.

So she kind of started swearing at him and then walked off. And I was stuck with the bill. Oh, my God. So that's wild. Yeah, so we don't see each other anymore. And does she ever do any contract work for your work? Yeah, so we don't see each other anymore. And does she ever do any contract work for your work? No, not anymore.

What about the mutual friends? Have you told them and you're like, you, this is... Yes, it's kind of a running joke amongst a few of us. Wow. And so you're applying now for a refund for the bedroom key and for the... For all the drinks. And for the drinks. Yeah. I don For all the drinks. And for the drinks. Yeah. Okay.

I don't know if we're ready for this. How much did that all come to? It was $160 for the bill and $4.95 for a new key. Okay, that's all we can do. I'm sure we can do that. I was worried it was going to be one of those keys that, you know, specially registered and you've got to get the master

and then pay the extra money. Yeah. I was just worried about the and then pay the extra money? Yeah. I was just worried about the multitude of Viaduct drinks that she'd had. So how many drinks did you have?

I had one because I was driving. That's an expensive... Okay, so that is an expensive night out. Wow. She drank 150 bucks of the beers.

Well, $165 will feed that into the... You've got it there. Yeah, the date refund of $3,000. Your date refund request has been... Throwing in the bin.

Hold on, we're going to run it again. It may have confused your key there. All right, okay. With a refund. Do that again. Your date refund request has been... Approved. It's been approved.

Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. Fantastic. Thank you so much, guys. David, well done. Oh, that's awesome. Yes, Jess. Thank you so much, guys. David, well done. $165 refunded. Perfect. Awesome.

ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. This started on Twitter. Cute Twitter. Haven't been on Twitter for ages. No, it's such a cesspit. Although,

why don't you turn your mic on? Sweeter. How do I have it on? My first day. I unfollowed everybody that upset me. Yeah. And it's not bad.

It's a good place. It's not bad. Okay. Yeah, every now and then something will pop up and you'll just be like, unfollow. Yeah, it can be what you make it. Okay. You've got to work on these things. So this was started by a Twitter user,

Don't Ask Me Bitch Too. They asked people over 25 years old to share their auntie, uncle, old people habits they've started developing because they're old now. 25 plus. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So this would be millennials.

25 pluses. Okay. Yeah, old people tendencies now. So someone said, I say, where are their parents? And keeping my eyes on children when their parents' guardians are obviously preoccupied in public spaces just in case I need to get involved or save them. That is so me.

Where are these kids' parents? Where are their parents? And then you're like, okay, well, I'll have to keep eyes on them now. Watch them, make sure nothing happens. Yeah. Oh, no, sometimes I'll do it with my kids if they're misbehaving and I want to deny them. I'll be like, where are these kids' parents?

Yeah. If you don't tell me two to three business days ahead of time that you want to hang out, I'm not coming. Two to three business days? That's far too soon. Yeah, that's quite quick. 14 working days, please. Having a strange desire to own a rocking chair at 22.

Apparently it hit them early. Like a comfortable recliner, yeah, but not just a straight up wooden rocking chair. They don't look comfortable at all. Giving my niece and nephew's money on the sly and saying, here you go. Call me if you need anything. Oh, no. Got my own kids to bloody worry about. Yeah.

Going to bed early by 9pm. I'm already yawning. It's embarrassing. Well, I mean, that's because we're like that, but we get up early. Yeah, I relate to that. Yeah. I used to binge watch series seasons in a day. Now it takes me days to complete one movie.

That's also me, but I have a child. Oh, I can't. Yeah. I can takes me days to complete one movie. That's also me, but I have a child. Oh, I can't. Yeah. I can't just pause a movie halfway through. I can't remember the last time I've watched one whole.

Someone gets rowdy or someone needs to go to bed. So yeah, I don't make an Andrew joke. No, no, no. I wasn't going to. Right. I remember when Sade,

you would do that. We'd start a movie and she'd fall asleep 15 minutes into it. But now she just like will go on her phone straight away and then like, wait, what's happened? Groaning or saying, Lord Jesus, every time I walk down a few steps.

Yeah, doing the groan when you get off the couch. That's scientifically proven to help you get up. Is it? Okay, it's the way your people grunt at the gym. Yeah. So we'd like to know what your old people tendencies are. If you're 25 plus and you are doing something that you remember your parents saying. Or even early 20s, if you've developed a habit.

Let us know. If it's hit you early. Yeah. So this is a trend that started on Twitter. On Twitter. People are sharing their stereotypical old people tendencies that have developed. 25 plus or even younger if it's hit you early. Wow, there are some amazing messages coming through.

Wow. I've found myself watching TAB Trackside and having the odd bet on horse races. That's it. You just watch out. You'll be getting the Friday Flash and the best bets soon. What? Having the odd bet on horse races That's a What? You just watch out You'll be getting the Friday flash And the best bet soon And in their early 20s doing that

That's okay Oh no they're in their 30s now Oh okay right Yeah Oh yeah there you go Someone said My old person tendency is 21 And I'll find myself listening to Talkback

Don't do that Oh that's a bit Yeah you go down some rabbit holes That's like a verbal Twitter Yeah and you'll find myself listening to Talkback. Oh, that's a bit, yeah, you go down some rabbit holes. That's like a verbal Twitter. Yeah, and you'll have to flip-flop on opinion too. You'll have to be like, oh yeah, no, open the borders. No, they closed the borders. Oh, I shouldn't have gone into lockdown. Oh, out of lockdown too far. Oh, too soon. Oh, we should have, yeah, should have gone faster.

Huge amount of flip-flopping. Hopefully the people who listen have forgotten that I've changed my opinion drastically in three weeks. But here is my fresh opinion of the day that will no doubt be different again in the future. Yep. I'll just do whatever the opposite of the government thinks I should be saying is. You really got me there, didn't you? You really triggered me.

You really triggered me. You backed me into a corner. Yeah. My old person tendency is stirring my coffee under the surface Then doing the ting ting ting ting ting spoon on the lip of the cup Yes I always remember thinking it was the oddest thing to do when I was a kid When older people would stir their coffee like that

Lena, what's your old person tendency? Well, anytime that my friends or colleagues text me I just call them right back. Oh, you make phone calls? And they absolutely hate it. Yeah, because... Oh, no, don't call me. Text me back.

Is it just more efficient? It's just more efficient and it gets to the point. And I remember being younger and hating it when it's done to me. But now the tables have turned. Calling is for... Be like, oh,, young cleaner, don't talk to me. Calling us for a life-threatening emergency or really good gossip that's going to take too long to type? Yes. I know when

I get a call from Vaughan, it's good gossip. Some gossip in the mix. Thanks you, Colleen. Jaden, what's your old person habit that you've started developing? Getting annoyed at youth that either walk in front of you on the road or loiter outside the shop like, move mate, I've got

places to be. Loitering. Youth. Yeah, but you would have been a loitering youth not that long ago, Jaden. Yeah, I'm only 23, but yeah, age is certainly hard.

Have you found yourself saying anything to these loitering youths? Yeah, get out the way, you silly buggers. Oh, my God, you sounded like a 50. I'm a bit of a farmer, so the farmer comes out of me as well. Yeah, you sounded like 50 when you said that too. You did. Really aged it. Oh, that's brilliant, Jaden.

Thanks, mate. Sammy, what's your old person habit that you're developing young? Really aged it Oh that's brilliant Jaded Thanks mate Sammy What's your old person habit That you're developing young Hi guys Hi I turned 25 A few months ago

And I found myself Instead of going on My phone on my break I just do all the puzzles In the newspaper I love a newspaper puzzle Upwards the word wheel That's what Vaughn does too

It's eight letters There's one missing It could be anything Some days you get them real fast I just made my puzzle. Upwards the word wheel. That's what Vaughan does too. It's eight letters. There's one missing. It could be anything. Some days you get them real fast and you're like, not today, dementia. It'll keep that mind sharp, won't it? Yeah. Sammy, thanks for your call.

Some messages in. I get mad when there are too many lights on in the house. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I do too. Someone said, I found myself enjoying a relaxing cup of tea watching the birds in the garden. So I asked for a bird bath. Oh, yeah. I got a bird bath and my mother-in-law bought me a bird feeder. Now I'll

sit there for a long time watching those little cheeky little birds. Wow. Shaking a bag of chips when I pick it up. Can't stop myself. Get the salt and vinegar off the bottom. Get it all coated

on the chippy. I didn't know that was a thing. My husband's in his 30s. He loves a nightly cup of tea and a wine biscuit before bed. He reckons it helps him sleep. Nothing wrong with that.

When I heard myself out loud saying, can anyone else feel that draft? I can feel a draft. Where's that draft coming from? I knew that perhaps I was aging a little prematurely. I walk around and I'll put both hands on my back and I'll lean back and I'll be like, just to get it going.

I knit an embroider, but I also have kept some rebel in my blood. I stitch bad words. Oh, okay. Someone said, thanks guys. You've just reminded me I haven't taken my omniprozole this morning.

It's for heartburn, isn't it? Intergestion? Yeah. Oh, that's like our friend James always has a pack of quickies. My dad.

He's always like, I've just got to nip into the dairy. I'm like, what for? I need my quickies. Is it the rich food? Maybe. The rich food.

I have started saying I had a fall instead of I fell over. I said I had a fall. When does that happen? What happens? You switch from falling over to having a fall. I had a fall. Defaulting to because I said so when my children are challenging why they have to do something.

I said I'd never do it when I was, you know, when they were first born, but now I'm just. I found myself saying, oh, God, I'm just cold looking at her when I saw someone wearing someone's clothes. God, I'm pretty sure I've said that. Yeah. I used to love the sound of a car doing a burnout. Now I sit on my deck and mumble bloody hooligans while I'm calling the police.

How the tables have turned. Yeah. Wow. Waking up sore. Oh, I can relate. Just after sleeping a bit funny. Waking up sore. I'm telling my partner, you can't have popcorn for dinner. That after sleeping a bit funny. Waking up sore. I'm telling my partner, you can't have popcorn for dinner.

That's not a complete meal. My child said, I'm hungry. I said, hi, hungry. I'm mum. The good stuff. Yeah. Wow. That's good stuff.

We eat dinner at 5 p.m. It's like we're in a bloody rest time. Hey, I eat dinner at 5 p.m. But then I do get up at 4.30. And you have lunch at 10am, so everything's... Slightly wacky. Yeah. Have a sherry when I get home from work.

Okay, that is an old person thing. Get a good sherry, though. If you get a good sherry. Please tell me they're doing refill flagons. Oh, they better be doing refill flagons. My bestie loves a port. Ellie loves a port. Is it the great port?

The tawny port or a ruby port? Yeah, Sultana juice. Sultana juice. I don't know, actually. A tawny port. A tawny port's better than a ruby port. Yeah, right. I make phone calls with the speaker, with it on speaker,

but I still put the phone on my ear. Okay. My old person's tendency is to watch Emmerdale every day. It happened because it was always on before the 1pm presser, but now it's like, well, I need to know what's happening here. Oh, they've hooked you in. Yeah. Somebody said, sometimes if I have a late lunch,

I'll finish and say, well, I won't need any dinner. That's the good stuff. Everybody's mum. They're so great. Everybody's mum, mate. Everybody's mum. Oh, my gosh, 2 o'clock. We won't be needing any dinner.

Play Zed, Em's, Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Today's fact of the day is about the jockstrap. Okay. Never worn a jockstrap myself. And I wasn't... Are you meaning the tidy... Jockstrap.

The undies that are like... Y-fronts. Y-fronts. Or you mean jockstrap with no material. I mean jockstrap, the undergarment for protecting the testes and penis during contact sports and other vigorous physical activity. Yeah, right.

It consists of a waistband, usually elastic, with a support pouch for the genitalia and two elastic straps affixed to the base of the pouch and the left or the right sides of the waistband at the hip. I feel like that's gone out of sports form into another domain.

Yeah, that's what I thought you were talking about. Big part. This one. I'll show you the photo. This is the... Yep. It's arseless. Yeah, it's been appropriated for something completely different now.

There you go. There's some Calvin Klein ones. There's some Calvin Klein ones. They exist, right? For sports. Or is it for sexy stuff? Has it gone into the sexy domain? Yeah, it Calvin Klein ones. But they exist, right? For sports. Or is it for sexy stuff? Has it gone into like the sexy domain? Yeah, it's gone into sexy stuff.

Oh, I was wondering if they did a back view, but they don't. Just a side view. What website are you on? The Iconic. It's not... This is just every day. Because you get yours from Aussie bum, don't you? Your jocks.

I've never... I couldn't wear a pair of underpants that didn't have the ass covered. I 100% thought this is what you were talking about. Just like the length. I'm talking about those. No, no. I'm talking about jock strap. I've only ever heard jock strap in the term of being for protecting.

In like American football, they wear jock straps to guard the. And I always thought why cricketers wouldn't have a built-in box because you know how a cricketer puts in a box. Well, no, they do have, there are some kind of special undies that cricketers can have. With a box built in. Where it's got a pouch in the front that you put the box in. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's what I thought the jock strap would be. Is it... Aww. Are you kidding me? What? For everybody or is it just for the homosexuals? Well, no. It's for everybody.

I can't imagine. To what for? I mean, there's certainly, yeah, there's certainly. If you want to feel sexy. Yeah. In the boudoir. I don't know. I've never even thought of it.

Now I've got another. Now I know what to get you for Christmas. Now I've got another insecurity. Secret Santa. What's your insecurity? One that I wouldn't look good in a pair of those. You've had your butt lasered. Of course you would. Yeah, I know, but it's not a, I don't know. It's not a butt. I mean, now I feel awkward saying you'd look

good in one. I don't know what the right answer is. But yeah, HR after the show, please, for that comment. This is a trap just to set you up for sexual harassment. I honestly thought they were a sports thing. I only thought they got used for sports. Oh, sweaty. Come on.

What a naive little chap. What a naive little country lad he is. He's come from the country in Morrinsville. Yeah, we're... With that big smoke. Yeah. We just got sat in boxes. Have you never been to a pride parade?

I just thought those were arseless chaps. No. Is the jockstrap a part of what we're learning? Anyway, I'm probably going to say this fact and you guys are going to know about it. I've seen we've got two jockstrap historians in the building. Jesus. These two know everything there is to know about arseless chaps. Does Andrew have a pair?

No. Well, how do you know about arseless chaps. Does Andrew have a pair? No. Well, how do you know about them then? Have you looked at men in their underpants outside of your marriage? I mean, pride parade? There's a special place in hell for strumpets such as yourself. And as for you. Oh, Jesus. Okay, so today's fact of the day is that bike jock straps,

jockey straps as they were originally known, were originally designed for mailmen. Posties. Bicycle riding messengers. Oh, okay. Because it was to keep the testicles out of the way when they jumped back on their seat. Now, you've been using my bike a little bit.

You know I've lent you my bicycle for lockdown. Have you had a bit of an incident where you've sat on your boss? Is that a thing? It can happen and it's not pleasant. Yeah, I've had a sore seat. Yeah, which is sort of the gooch area. But no, that's come right after a couple of rides that toughened up.

Yeah. Do you need a testy augmentation or something? I don't know, mate. I do like saggy balls. You need a jock strap. You need to bust out these jock straps

that your drawers are apparently full of because you haven't knew where to order them from and put one on when you go for a bike ride. Oh, God. Can we get the heat

turned down? It's very hot in here. It is actually hot in here. Well, that's because you two are bloody Googling images of men in their bloody jock straps. I'm just learning about it. I'm flushed with education. That's why I'm looking a little bit hot in the cheeks.

So it was originally a bike jockey strap. And that was, have I lost you both or are you still with me? You both seem to have been drawn. Jeez Louise. Metallic ones. They're quite fancy, aren't they? Okay. So jockey meant rider because it came from jockeys that rode horses.

But then when people first started riding bikes, they didn't call them a cyclist. They called them a jockey, a bike jockey. Oh, yeah. So the jock strap was invented for the bike jockeys that rode around. Stop. Showing each other pictures of hot bodies. We're trying to find you the ideal pair.

Yeah, I was actually. And then the American term for a sports jock, the jock, is that's where it comes from. It comes from jock strap. Oh, wow. Wow. Which can be traced all the way back to the undies. The undies. Naomi.

Wow. Yeah. All right. Okay, cool. All right, well, let's wrap this up because Megan needs to order. There's a three-pack of Calvin Klein's. If I'd read down further, I would have listened to this. History.

The jockstrap was invented in 1874 in a Chicago sporting goods company, Sharp and Smith. Probably related. Then it goes on to give you the, it changed, and then there was a low voltage electric power jockstrap that claimed to cure kidney disorders, insomnia, erectile dysfunction, and other ailments. Of course

that did nothing. That was their day's ivermectin. Yeah, and then it said jockstraps were worn in adolescent to stop injuries. Jockstraps have also become popular as a form of lingerie for men, particularly amongst gay and bisexual men. There you go. Who knew? You did not.

Not me. No. I had absolutely no idea. Every now and then I see someone say something naive and I'm like, what a naive fool. Now I am the naive fool. We've all got things to learn. So today's fact of the day is the jock gets their name from the jockstrap, which gets its name from bike jockeys who got their name from the people that rode horses.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. Yesterday was my father-in-law's 71st birthday. He loves recording songs. He's a big fan of recording songs. If he hears a song he likes, he'll be like, oh, I'll find the instrumental version of that, and then he records himself singing it.

And then he'll only listen to that version of it. Can we do a request? Can we ask him to record a song? You could ask. This one, he was very reluctant to undertake Simply the Best by Tina Turner because it was such a big bite of the vocal pie. And that's what he does. This is Tina Turner's Simply the Best, if Turner because it was such a big bite of the vocal pie. And that's what he does. This is Tina Turner's Simply the Best

if you're not familiar with the song. Everybody knows this song. Growing up, wasn't this the AFL, the rugby leagues? NRL. NRL. She did a halftime show with Jimmy Barnes at the grand final. I feel like there was a Jimmy Barnes version of Simply the Best. Or it takes two, maybe a couple of Jimmy Barnes, Tina Turners. Oh, this is Jimmy Barnes. This is a Jimmy Barnes version of Simply the Best. Or It Takes Two. Maybe a couple of Jimmy Barnes, Tina Turner's.

Oh, this is Jimmy Barnes. This is a Jimmy Barnes version. Yeah, yeah. So, big song. Like, if you're going to take on a Tina Turner, she's got. Do you know what it's like when people always audition for these X Factor or. And they do Whitney Houston. Yeah, or they do a song that's got that vocal range and you're like, oh, what are you doing?

You're not Alicia Keys. It was beyond your capabilities. Or Mariah Carey. They tried to bite off a Mariah Carey slice of the pie. Well, since he's recorded this, he's been listening to it nonstop. His band in Thailand did all the music, and someone mixed it all together. Yeah.

And yesterday, because a few months ago, he had a together. Yeah. And he's, yesterday, because a few months ago, he had a stroke. Yeah. So, yeah, he's been in like recovery and yeah, been staying with us and stuff, but he's doing his exercises.

So when he's at our place, he walks up and down the driveway. Okay. And he came back in and he was like, oh, good exercises today. Yeah.

12 Simply the Bests. And I was like, what? He's like, I listened to it 12 times. His version of Simply the Best. His version of Simply the. And I was like, what? He's like, I listened to it 12 times. His version of Simply the Best. His version of Simply the Best. I was like, huh? And he's like, and I love it.

And then he turns it on again. My daughters like think it's funny. They like teasing him about his songs and stuff because he's always trying to make them listen to them. Yeah. And he played Uno with them yesterday. Yeah. And he made a with them yesterday. Yeah. And he made a bet.

He said, if I win Uno, you two have to listen to my Simply the Best from start to end. No walking away. No scoffing. Silently listening to the entire thing to enjoy it. Is that when Indian August pulled their draw falls? They lost. They lost. So they had to listen to his whole Simply the Best. And he loved it.

Yeah. He loved it. That was probably his 20th listen for the day. I love how passionate he is about it. Like, he doesn't give an F. Never has. What anyone thinks, he just loves it. Never has.

We can learn something from John. When he was living in Thailand, he'd always tell us about his mates and him that were in this band and how they had a great gig. And we were always just like, oh, yeah, okay. But then his family started sending us videos of these packed pubs of expats and locals and everybody just loving these covers they did of different songs. But now I have for you his version of Simply the Best. Now I'm not allowed to play the whole thing.

Because this is Sade approved. And because this is the first chat you've heard about it, we've been working hard on Sade to try and let us play this. I was surprised she put up a story. Me too. That was when I was like, I think we're ready for it. Yeah. Because he was proud it was his birthday.

And in her Instagram post, I sat and listened to the whole thing yesterday as a birthday treat to her. I tapped along. I didn't say anything. I sat and listened to the whole thing yesterday as a birthday treat to her. Yeah. I tapped along. I didn't say anything. I sat and I silently enjoyed. And this is my second part of my gift to her.

Okay. It's some radio airplay. Yeah. Not the whole thing because this is Sade approved. She doesn't, and she said, and the reason she didn't want

to do it is she's like, people can be mean. Yeah. And I said, our listeners aren't mean people our listeners are the sweet sweet-hearted people we we the good people we did out there the assholes a long time ago okay so here we go okay this is this band from thailand oh there there it goes. That's legit. I call you when I need you.

My heart's on fire. Yeah, you come to me, come to me wild and wired. Oh, come to me. Give me everything I need Give me a lifetime of promises And a world of dreams That's good. I'm going to give you... That's like a little bit emotional.

I am. Speak the language of love Like you know what it means I'm going to give you the chorus and then I'm going to stop. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

He's done well. He's done well. And you know what? What? He wants his version played at his funeral. He said to me yesterday, he's like, Vaughn, promise me this. You'll carry in my casket to simply the best. My version.

I was like, I'll do it. Even if I'm the only one carrying the casket. Can you read those texts? Everyone's loving it. They don't want it to end. I'll print these out for him. Honestly, I'm on the verge of crying. It's just so sweet.

He's so nice. Yeah. So there it is. There's John Senior with his Simply the Best. You need to get him on Spotify. You need to launch his career. Can you upload covers? I think so, but you have to sign away any money.

But for him, I don't think it's about the money. Well, it's just the passion, isn't it? It's the passion. I'm emotional too. Protect him at all costs. Play ZM's Flashphone and Megan. China has restricted TikTok usage. Even though TikTok, owned by the Chinese government,

partly owned by the Chinese government, they have said that for the under-14s, they'll only be allowed to use TikTok for 40 minutes a day and only during a four-hour window. What, like after school? What about adults?

So six at night till 10 at night is when you're allowed to use it. Okay. Yeah. God, what would your average TikTok hole be? Hours. An hour can go by easy. Yeah.

You lose an hour. This follows last month. You remember under 18s were banned from playing video games for more than three hours a week, and that was also between the times of eight to 9 on Friday, Saturday, Sundays, and you get an additional hour to celebrate a public holiday. Sounds like a terrible place to live. No fun.

Absolute fun place. I was reading an article. The Chinese Idol Market. This is what they call the reality shows. Oh, okay. Like your typical got talent shows, those kind of things. The Chinese idol market is worth $15 billion a year. That's US.

Now, they've also banned social media platforms from publishing celebrity popularity rankings and they've regulated fan merchandise. And TV shows like idol shows aren't allowed to charge you to vote for like Idol winners. You know, like there'll be a show, vote for you, who should win? Like Dancing with the Stars or whatever. They've banned that

as well. So they're cracking down on heaps of entertainment stuff. There is also, in the article I was reading, talked about a new youth mode on TikTok, which restricted the sort of content that can be viewed by 14 and under, which I thought was a good idea. Yeah.

That's a good idea because, yeah, you can stroll through and come across all sorts of things. So, yeah, they're saying the teenagers are the future of the motherland. And they can't be whisked away by the spiritual opium. Ooh. Spiritual opium? Yeah, video games and TikTok away by the spiritual opium. Ooh. Spiritual opium? Yeah, video games and TikTok is known as spiritual opium. It just wastes the spirit.

I wandered into some comment sections yesterday and I wonder if we should be banning adults from some things. Not a bad idea. Just the way things seem to be going? Yep, yep, yep. Not a bad idea. ZM's Fleshworn and Megan.