ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 23rd April 2021

Episode Date: April 22, 2021

Top 6: Nude Cinemas  Bakery of the Day  Skip it or Stream it  Fletch had a run in with the Police  Friday Flashback!  Long Weekend Group Toot!!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fletch Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe Coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. Well, it's not only Anzacs that we're celebrating, is it? This weekend. For the long weekend. Today is Vagina Appreciation Day. Happy Vagina Appreciation Day to all those who have or appreciate.

Yeah. Yeah. So VAD. Vagina Appreciation Day. VAD, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So VAD. Vagina Appreciation Day. VAD, yeah. Okay, happy. I've just clicked on a link that says six fun facts about vaginas. Okay.

But it's taking a while to load and I am, oh, no, it's loaded, so take that. Oh, okay. One, the vagina cleans itself. Yes, it does. We know that. You don't need to do anything up there. That should take care of itself. Why is there?

The gym can be a bit slow to do it, though. I'd hop in the shower. Right. Don't just rely on that. They always say don't sit around in your wet, moist gym gear. It sends your fanny up into a bloody lava. Yes. Okay.

Right. They say the special perfume body wash or nice douching kit you bought is redundant. Okay. In fact, they might be doing you some damage. Is that what they mean? Vagisil. Is that what they mean? Is that a cleaning thingy? what they mean? Vagisil. Is that what they mean? Is that a cleaning thingy? Yes.

Yeah, vagisil, yeah. Two, women can get erections too. That's the second and quick, flurry facts. The vagina when aroused can grow lengthwise by almost 200%. Yeah, because the vagina, the actual vagina, is

the canal. Yeah. The inside. Where things may go. And it's usually squishy and shorter. And as it gets aroused, it stretches to accommodate whoever may be visiting. Right. Okay. It's a one-size-fits-all.

It fits most. Oh, here's a fact three. I mean, we're starting out hot on the podcast today. The clitoris is bigger than you think. Oh, Jesus, Morgan. Oh, it's got a whole system behind it. It might appear to just be a little button at the top, but it's actually,

that's just the tip of a surprisingly complex organ structure. Morgan's given me the full breakdown on the clitoris before. It looks like a wishbone off a chicken. Except don't break it in half and make a wish. And she said it's like an iceberg. Vagina is Latin for sheath. It's like a sheath

for a sword. That's four. Number five, not every woman has one. There's one in 5,000 chance of being born without vagina. That is called vaginal agenesis. Right. And number six, the vagina is incredibly strong. Rings of muscle ridges around the vagina, these muscles allow for the vagina we already

learned to stretch at least 200 times, what, 200%? Not 200 times. Jesus, I think it would be a potato sack. During things like childbirth. Yeah, right. Now, there's a gymnast called Tatyana Kozvenikova who currently holds the record for the strongest vaginal muscles, being able to pull objects weighing up to 30 pounds just by flexing.

What? 30 pounds? Just by flexing. Do your Kegels, guys. Yeah, definitely. What is she, like, ringing Guinness Book of World Records and saying, come down, I've got a challenge. You've just done the most amazing thing

with vagina come and watch me come and watch me do vagina lift happy vag day everyone so yeah happy vagina

appreciate yes ZM head music lives here Fletch, Fawn and Megan the podcast good morning

welcome to the show Fletch, Fawn and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Kia ora. Kei te pihi ako e. Kei te pai. Kei te full of food, to be honest. Full of food.

Full of food. Oh, yeah. We had a nice dinner last night, didn't we? We went out for dinner. Oh, my God. It was a lovely dinner. It was a lovely dinner. It was a lovely dinner.

Full of prune juice, though. Really? No, sultana juice. Sultana juice. What is that called? Port. Port. At the end. At the end, sultana juice. Sultana juice. What is that called? Port. Port. At the end, I said, I love a tawny port.

And the waiter was like, he gave me the silent nod. He said, you have a tawny port with dessert. And then there was a bottle of tawny port, and everybody had a glass of tawny port, and Fletch said it tasted like sultana juice, so now that's what we call port, sultana juice. Such a classy beverage. I was just eating my oats that I always have every morning,

and the sultanas in it were giving me flashbacks, and I was like... I mean, delicious. I think I had too many. Too many sultana juices. You're supposed to have just almost one size up from a shot. Exactly, and then you sip the sultana juice. But we had quite large cups, and some of us had two.

Delicious. Delish. Well, on the show today, it is the long weekend group two because we are, does it feel like we haven't really been excited about this long weekend? It's been a weird. You're right. You're right. Not the usual humdrum. Humdrum? Friends aren't like, it's the long weekend this weekend. I's been a weird... You're right. Not the usual humdrum.

Friends aren't like, it's the long weekend this weekend. I don't know. It's just happening, isn't it? Do you think it's because the weather's been a bit rubbish, so we're not like, I'm going to go to the beach. Well, it was 9 degrees at my house when I woke up this morning, and that's certainly dropped off from the 19 degrees

it was in the morning about two weeks ago. Waiuru. Waiuru is the coldest place in the morning about two weeks ago. Waiuru. Waiuru is the coldest place in the country right now. Beautiful spot. 2.2 degrees. Made to be cold, though, really. It's always cold there. The Kapiti Coast, though, is 16.

That's the nation's high right now this morning. What about the south? What are we looking at in the south? Oh, the Leven in Dunedin. That's warm. Ancient Christchurch in Vikargal. Yeah, Stewart Island's 13. Oh, how does that work?

What about the Chathams? Oh, the Chathams is 11. The Chathams. The tropical Chathams. Yeah, but that might be a bit delayed because I don't know how long it takes the temperature to get back to the internet. Right. Well, I've been excited about the long weekend, of course,

because the long weekend brought toot. Yes. So that is happening today, 8 o'clock. Well, that's brand new theme tune. Yeah, do join us. Brand new theme tune. Get horny. And yeah, get on the horn. This morning, 8 o'clock. With this brand new theme tune. Do join us, brand new theme tune. Get horny. And yeah, get on the horn.

This morning, 8 o'clock. Also coming up on the show this morning, we've got another chance for you to win. We'll do this at quarter to nine this morning, a five-day multi-pass to Katrona Alpine Resort or Treble Cone, up for grabs. Add to cart is at 8 o'clock as well before we get into the group two. Travel. It's all happening. Travel this week. Don't go anywhere. Treble Cone up for grabs. Add to Cart is at 8 o'clock as well before we get into the group toot.

Travel. It's all happening. Travel this week. Don't go anywhere. Absolutely do not turn away from this show. You'll miss it all. You dub dubs. Coming up, the top six. Yeah, there is a Melbourne Arts Film Festival situation

happening where people have been encouraged to go to see this film that's part of the festival, Nude. Imagine the seats. Those itchy seats. Oh, yeah. Although some of them are nice now, the movie seats. Most of them have had renos in there. There's no winning, though, because if it's leather,

you'll stick to it. Oh, yeah. And at least you can wipe it. Most of them are having the job of wiping the seats down afterwards. So I've got the top six problems I can see with a trip to the cinema nude. Yeah. Okay it's coming up on the top six. Next on the show though

bad news for one greyhound who's tested positive for something. Greyhounds have a hard time don't they? I know. I do feel sorry for them. Such long faces. They're really long out there. Long, skinny faces. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. ZM. A greyhound. I've actually just been looking because I know we're one of the few countries in the world where greyhound racing is still done. Because I'm not a huge fan of it. No. I'm not a huge fan of the racing industry full stop.

And that's something, whenever I say this, I get my family go, because I come from horse racing stock full stop. And that's something, whenever I say this, I get my family go, because I come from horse racing stock. Yeah. My grandparents got into it later in life. Disowned in Morrinsville. Yeah, well, that's my Matamata family. So that's even like the home of the thoroughbred.

Yeah. You know, I've touched a thoroughbred horse's penis. I know you have. It feels like your forearm. Grip your fist and it feels like the muscle there. Wow, that's thick and firm. Very hard.

So, yeah, that is a story to that day. I mean, my school holidays were like the Tohono O'odham Nelson Hydra slide on Turbo Hour. Vaughan's school holidays. We got to go to the Opal Hot Springs on the other side. That was our reward for helping the horses breed. A trip to the hot pools of Guatemala. Vaughan School Holidays was putting...

So the thoroughbred horse, quick recap, thoroughbred horses aren't allowed to be artificially inseminated. If you want to call it a thoroughbred, it has to be through the old traditional P and V situation. And the stallions get super horned up, super excited, and often will come to fruition before they're in the right spot, if you know what I'm saying. So there was a situation where you would have to quickly clean the penis in a large plastic jug with some water.

Just dip it in and give it a clean and then get it on in there. Just in a Pyrex or something? No, it was like a... I can't think of what else. In your mum's baby Pyrex. These jugs... You wouldn't dare to have put a stallion's penis in your nan's Pyrex. This was a...

This jug was only ever used for this. It was a long, deep jug. Of course. More of a tubular. Quick lane, in it goes. Like something you put a poster in. Yeah, and I remember the day. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That'll get soggy. That'll get soggy. With a handle and a spout. Yeah, but a similar shape. Yeah, yeah. Oh, but wider. It's a PVC piping. Yeah, like a thick down pipe.

Yeah. And, yeah, this stallion was getting very excited, and my granddad was like, like, it's going, and my uncle was trying to, there was like three men trying to, well, two men. And then I was there. And I remember my granddad looking me in the eye.

I can still see your blue eyes. I can still see the look in his eyes. He's like, we're going to need a favor. I was like, what? At eight. And it went. Anyway. So anyway, that's more than score.

I didn't get my cut Of that service fee either Yeah oh right Okay Well you were eight Yeah Oh no I wanted a cut I should have got a cut That wouldn't have happened

Without me It would have been All over Anyway So back to The racing industry Horse people I don't know what

The greyhound industry is like With the breeding situation But so Australia Ireland Mexico And there's only one Greyhound racing track Left in Mexico

Yeah New Zealand United Kingdom And United States But only a few states in the United States Actually are the only countries where it's legal to race greyhounds Okay If you ever meet a rescue greyhound day

They've seen this I know And they're so And they've been bred to chase Anything that moves that's small and furry So you like cats are often I'm not a huge fan. I don't think they look nice.

Is that controversial? Well, they're not cuddly, are they? No. Imagine trampling on it, there's bones sticking into you. They got popularity, I guess, from the Simpsons, right? Like Santa's little helper. Everyone's like, let's get a greyhound. I know some people love that.

I absolutely tip my hat to people who rescue them, but I also don't think people should be able to race them and then when they're sick of them... And anyway, the reason we're talking about greyhounds and we got sidetracked into Vaughan's school holiday job inseminating bulls. Barabred. No, not bulls.

Stallions. Stallions, sorry. I wasn't inseminating the stallions. You're not inseminating the stallions. I'm helping the stallion inseminate a mare. Same thing. And there was a teaser horse. I've told you about the teaser horse.

It was a little wee horse you'd put in the stall beside the mare and it would nip her to get her in the mood. Oh, okay. Nip her? Yeah. To get her in the mood? Yeah. He'd be like, and she'd be like, Are you going to talk about the greyhound that was on meth or not? A greyhound

won a zipping Sarah, was a greyhound that won a race last year in November a Zipping Sarah. It was a Greyhound that won a race last year in November. Zipping Sarah finished first and won the winning thing, $4,000 was the price. However, in a post-race urine sample, tested positive for methamphetamine and amphetamine. She's been on the old light bulb. Yeah, well. Hitting the pipe.

How bad is that, though? This is another, like, don't. Does that mean the dog was around somebody smoking meth? So that's, producer Jared used to, he did his side of track. He used to do meth. No, he just drinks five-hour energy. Those five-hour energy shots. Used to work at Trackside.

That was your radio. That's the racing. Yeah, that's the racing place. our energy shots. Used to work at Trackside at TAB Radio. That's the racing place. I love every now and again Jared would just pop up with his gem of racing knowledge. And I love it. And so a horse tested positive for marijuana once.

Yeah, so they figured out it was the people driving the truck were having a doob on the way to the racetrack. Good to know people are not only smoking weed and driving, but they're also driving massive battering rams full of animals. Yeah. So, yeah, the weed smoke would waft back into the horse trailer.

Yeah. And the horse would marinate in that. Wow. Got a hot box in his trailer. Doesn't he have a Bob Marley flag in the back of that horse flag? Probably. So when they do this urine sample and they're testing for, obviously,

performance-enhancing drugs, why are they testing for meth? No, I mean, they're just testing for everything, right? And meth must have the mark. It must set off some... The amphetamines of some kind. Well, it is a performance enhancer.

It's a potent central nervous system stimulant, which not only is, this is what the Queen's Council said, the QC, poses significant animal welfare issues, but this sample was particularly large. Oh, that's sad, isn't it? That's horrible. Horrible. Don't give your dog meth.

Strike against the... Some dogs look like they're on meth, eh? Every now and then you'll see a dog, and it already looks a bit meth-y. The eyes are a bit... Yeah. Just be careful out there. Bichons. Bichons would be absolutely...

Bichons always look like they're on meth and they're not. Horrible. Yeah. Flesh Fauna Megan. The podcast. ZM. Well, this news comes from Reddit, who invented the internet. So I can only...

It's only fact. It can only be fact. Somebody posted a screenshot from some correspondence they received from the people that make the pods. You know, the... Mars? Mars. I think it's Mars.

I'm going to say Mars. Oh, yeah, no, it's not Cadbury. Because they've got Snickers pods Pods, or they had. Pods. Now, this is what it says. Thank you for contacting us about Pods. We are sorry to tell you this product is not being manufactured and is no longer available.

We'll make sure that your comments are passed to our marketing team who continually review our range of products. Okay. Now, so I haven't seen a news story with any official. This is just on Reddit. Right. So I'll just point out that they could still be around. I am currently on New World's website.

Yep. It has me down at New World Metro Auckland. Is that your New World? I go to that one, yep. That's your New World? We've got the New World just around the corner. And it's saying that they have pods. I've changed to Victoria Park.

Oh, the Snickers pods. So maybe is this coming from overseas? But it also says at the bottom, product of imported. So does that mean these are imported pods? Yeah, maybe. Okay. Or impodded. So the Reddit post has a lot.

Far out. That was loose. Yeah. The Reddit post has a lot of comments. Read this. And yeah, people saying they are maybe still available in the UK. But yeah, people upset. Pods always remind me of being like 13 years old and going to the movies.

They always have them at the movies. Splitting a bag of pods with my bestie and finishing the whole thing. I mean, they're delicious. The last time I had pods was lockdown, like level four last year. Because I was in the dairy doing that, you know,

when they only let one person in and you have all that pressure and you'd be like, oh my God, I need to get all my snacks. Oh, your pods panicked. And there's five people waiting. And then I saw s'mores pods.

S'mores. And who doesn't love s'mores? Yeah, so they were like a marshmallow-y chocolate. And I ate them and I was like, meh. I was always like, I was your traditional Mars pods. I always felt meh about pods. Well, they always made you feel meh afterwards

because you ate too many. They're so rich. What is it about going to the movies? You'd eat an ungodly amount of a food that you would never eat that amount of anywhere else. Jumbo popcorn, bag of pods, bag of mixed lollies. Two ice creams. Two ice creams.

Eight litres of diet cola. Oh, no. Straight out of literally a bucket. And then the trailers haven't even started yet. You're like, I'm going to need my snack for the second half. Pods, pods, pods. So they're saying pods are gone skis, are they? Well, yeah.

So I just searched pods Mars. The warehouse came out. The market. Oh, it's letting me compare prices. If anybody interested. The market NZ has the cheapest pods. $420. Hey-oh, $420.

$420. $420. When people buy pods. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, could this be someone faking? Starting a ruckus. Why would people do that? Chaos.

Some people love just thriving chaos, don't they? It's like there's a crispy wafer shell, Mars-flavoured caramel filling and a smooth milk chocolate topping. I mean, you can't beat it. It's got everything you ever need. Am I wrong in remembering a white chocolate pod? I don't even remember that.

Was there a white chocolate pod? Well, I mean, just in case, maybe stock up a few packs. Wouldn't hurt, would it? Yeah, like bulk buying pods. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the rat-infested ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Melbourne Arts Festival is in, and this is also going to be in Sydney, by the way,

at an independent cinema chain, are inviting people to watch a movie naked. What movie? Patrick. It is a Belgian black comedy and it will be shown to a nude audience at the Lido Theatre in Melbourne. Okay.

And then in Sydney at Randwick Ritz. Okay. I don't know too much more about the movie. The movie itself is set inside a nudist colony. There's a level of nudity that has to be seen to be believed. And according to promotional material, it would be nothing compared to the audiences which have been asked to watch the movie naked.

So do you arrive naked or become naked? I don't know. And I don't know if nakedness is compulsory. Imagine parking your car in the Wilson's and then hopping out and walking over to the cinema again

in your birthday suit. I think you'd wear a robe until you got in there, right? Or you'd take your stuff off when you got there. I just don't know. It's the sitting down thing for me that I'm... Especially Melbourne, this time of year and anywhere, it's getting a little chilly. I know, but nothing...

This needs to be a summer thing when it looks a bit bigger. No, nothing serves a female body more than being a bit cold. Because it pulls it, tightens it up. But for me, it pulls everything in. It goes in, doesn't it? It retreats. Mm, see, it's... Mm.

Doesn't work, does it? No. No. It's, uh... Where do you pop your member when you're sitting on a movie seat? Rest it against the thigh? I...

What do you mean? I mean, like... I just don't know that... I don't know. I'd probably man spread a little. Yeah, I was going to say, because... But then I don't know. I'd probably manspread a little. Yeah, I was going to say. It depends what the seats might look. Yeah.

Lots of questions. I'd probably take some kind of tissue paper or a nice fluffy towel, maybe. Oh, yeah, put a nice towel down. Like one of my nice Sheridans that I've poofed up in the dryer. Yeah, that'd be nice.

A Wallace Cottom. I've got the top six problems with nude moving. What? Nude moving. Nude movie going. Number six on the list. Dropping a Malteser on the seat and not knowing, and then it melts and it's all over your butt,

and then when you're done and the lights comes on, it looks like you did a little poopy. Oh, my God. I've done that. I have warmed up a Malteser under my bottom on my couch, and it's horrible. And you cannot get that out. Chocolate.

Yeah, it looks like you've shat your couch. It's terrible. Yeah. Shat yourself, shat the couch, shat a bit of poo-poo everywhere. Number five on the list of the top six problems with nude movie going that I can see itchy popcorn dust

all over the jennies oh yeah and when you get hot popcorn you sit it on your lap yes and I don't want hot popcorn oil

on the jennies on the nether regions no that fake butter yeah it'll be like burn burn you know the corn shells always get stuck

on the roof of your mouth and your teeth how's everyone got stuck on your most private, softest area. Yeah. So that's a problem. Number four on the list of the top six problems with nude movie going. I will not put my bare ass on a seat that's seen 50,000 clothed asses that have been farting. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a... I don't even know what those seats would feel like on bare skin. The old school, like, yeah, horrible. You know the red ones? Yep, yep, yep. You know the red material I'm thinking of? Yep, horrible. Itchy, pilled, ball-y polyester.

Yeah, because sometimes when you go to sit down, you might give it a sweep to make sure nothing's on your seat, and it feels... Oh, there's... Yeah, it feels yuck. It feels well-oiled. Yeah. Matted.

Textural. Yeah. Speaking of farts, number three on the list of the top six problems of a nude movie going, a movie fart, which is probably

one of my favourite farts, to be honest. It's your right. It's your right to do so. Nobody knows where it's come from. Yeah. My wife always knows it was me. But she knows not to be like,

Vaughn! Because then everyone will know it's me and she doesn't want to be with the guy that just farted in the movies. It's like a long-haul flight. It could be anyone. Oh, my God. Don't was me. But she knows not to be like, Vaughn! Because then everyone will know it's me and she doesn't want to be with the guy that just farted in the movies. It's like a long haul flight. It could be anyone. Oh my God. Don't blame me.

I spend all 12 hours popping off. Yes. I wait till somebody walks down the aisle on a plane and then pop one off as they walk past and then people are quick to blame the person walking for a crop dusting. And so a movie fart will now almost certainly

have an audio component because there's no way of muffling it. It'll just be straight between ass cheeks. Number two on the list of the top six problems with nude movie going

are walking back to the car after the movie. Yeah. You'll be nude and you can't go on an escalator barefoot. Well, yeah, that's what the rules say.

Let alone... Oh, really? Yeah, you can't go on in jandals or bare feet. You've got to have like a... You can't go on an escalator barefoot. That's what the rules say. Let alone. Really? Yeah, you can't go on in jandals or bare feet. You've got to have like a. You can't go in jandals. No, there's always a little sign. I mean, it's New Zealand. We go everywhere in jandals.

Yeah. But there's always a little sign with like a cross through a jandal and no bare feet. Yeah. Let alone exposed genitals on an escalator. Oh, my God. You might get it pinched. It will get minced. You know how the handrail moves at a slightly faster rate?

Oh, yeah. You might get it pinched in there. Don't. You know how the handrail moves at a slightly faster rate? Oh, yeah. You might get it pinched in there. Don't ride the handrail, nude. That's for sure. No, definitely not. And number one on the list of the top six problems with nude movie going that I can see, squeezing past people to go to the toilet. You know?

You're always like, I'm sorry. And they've got their knees up and your ass is literally like an inch from their face. Oh, my God. That was like at Jersey Boys the other night. We were in the middle row. We were in the middle of the row and so you have to like, sorry, sorry, sorry

and your ass is in their face or they get up and you're like, yeah, it's horrible. Did you have an intermission in that show? Yep. Halftime?

Yeah, and then someone, like the people on the end always go back to their seats first. So if I was sitting on the end, I'd just wait right until they were like, the show begins. We had people that were like past us, but they were coming from the other side. Oh, they should have gone from the other side.

Idiots. Those are dum-dums. You go from your side, whatever it is closest to. That is today's top six. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. There's a couple in the... Are you okay? Yeah, just something

sort of you know, a little something in my nose tickly in my nose A booger It's a booger but I can't I'm not gonna

God, in the good old days of radio it would have been cocaine Falling back out your nose Yeah Bloody quarter to seven on a Friday I hate today

It's just a booger Pounding the white pavement just to get through. Oh, gosh. Not now. Sober as, isn't it? Yeah. By the way, I'm being sarcastic. I don't think we need cocaine.

No. It's a horrible drink. What have we got? You've got a wine glass full of water. You've got a cup of Joe and I've got a feral smoothing. To be honest, I did find the good tin of Makona. Did you? Oh, I had to go with the yuck one.

No, no, I found it. Oh, okay. Do you reckon your cuppa Joe heft met him? Yeah, stick with me, kiddo. I'll see you around. Thanks, mate. He's got the good stuff. Hey, here's a wacky story for you.

Okay. Get wacky, dude. There's a couple in the UK that have been married for over 20 years, and they are sharing their key to a lasting marriage. Okay. Not living together. So they decided after they got married, for 20 years they have lived apart. What was their reasoning for that?

To avoid confrontation and arguing. Arguing. Arguing. Arguments. So avoiding confrontation feels like a terrible thing for a relationship. You've got to get in there.

You've got to have it. You've got to confront. Do they say how often they would see each other in those 20 years? Like what, at the weekends? Yeah, so they would have visits, they'd have sleepovers

and stuff like that, but having their own space meant that they could avoid arguing, they could avoid snoring, they could get some good sleep. Just be single. It's called being single. They have a kid. Who does the kid

live with? Split time? One house with two rooms if that's the problem. She said she didn't want to be the nagging wife. You know, it just gave them the space to actually enjoy each other's company. Weird. Which is so weird.

But now they have moved in together. After 20 years. After 20 years of living apart, they've moved in together. They said it's been brilliant so far. It's like they've got a whole new relationship, which you do. Yeah. Just wait for it. It's coming for you. Yeah, they'll be new relationship, which you do. Yeah. Just wait for it. It's coming for you.

Yeah, they'll be back into their separate homes soon. Yeah. They moved in together because their son, they couldn't find the right school for him. He has Down syndrome. Right. And so they moved into a particular area for his education and it just made more sense to live together at this point.

After 20 years, they're like, okay, maybe we should move in together. Yeah, they're just like getting used to it. Oh, my God. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? It'd be so much harder to move in with someone after that long. Yeah.

Wouldn't it? Yeah. And they say that his son is just like so happy. Their son is so happy that his parents are living together. Because it's not like they were split up. No. Because they's not like they were split up. No. Because they hated each other. It was like normal to him that his parents didn't live together. But it's almost like they were divorced.

Yeah. Splitting time. I just feel like this couple are not meant to be. They don't like each other. So now all they're trying to do is they're trying to manage getting space and independence from each other. But while still living in the same house and a way they're doing that is they're refusing to share a space and independence from each other but whilst all living in the same house and a way they're doing that

is they're refusing to share a bedroom so they've got separate bedrooms. Hey, small steps. Small steps. Small steps. Baby steps.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Bakery of the day. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Bonjour. Time for Bakery of the day. You nominate your favourite bakery. Tell us why you like it and it could win Bakery of the day. You nominate your favourite bakery.

Tell us why you like it and it could win bakery of the day. Simple. Easy, just like that. All right. Bakery number one. Good morning, Martin. How you doing, please? Good, mate.

Good, good. Right now, what bakery are you nominating? So, I live in this tiny little town in Taranaki called Stratford. I know it, I know it. Well, it's got a clock tower. Oh, yeah. Not all it's got. It's got the Stratford Baking Company. Oh, okay. Oh, I'll tell you what, man.

They have a slice called a Malteser slice. And it's like a mouthful of Maltesers with a little bit of chocolate sauce and it's just beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. He's speaking Fletcher's language. He's a big Malteser guy. You know you've got my vote already, Martin. Well, I see your lolly slice, and I raise it with the Malteser slice.

Wow. I'm having a look on their Facebook page. Lemon curd donut? Yeah, lemon curd donut. That's amazing. Absolute favourite. Looks like they do a good stuffed bagel as well. Can't say I've had one of them, but definitely the pies.

All the pies, okay. Put them in the palm of your hand. Oh, yeah. Absolute beauty. Yeah, because it's like, you know when you go to a bakery and get like a sandwich, all the stuff's at the front to make it look like a big sandwich,

but then when you open it, the back half's empty. The back's bare. You've got to rearrange your sandwich real estate there. That thing's absolutely loaded from front to back, that bagel. I will say this place looks very hip.

Every person who works there in their Facebook has lots of trendy tattoos. Forearm tattoos. They look so good, doesn't it? Yeah, this is good, Martin. Who, the men working here or the baking? Both. These guys are so good that if you give them a little bit of shit for taking something off of their menu two days before your birthday,

you come in on your birthday, it's there in the cabinet waiting for you. Oh, that's nice. That personal touch. That personal touch that you can only expect from rural Aotearoa. So if you were to get a pie from there, what would be your pie of choice?

Oh, I had a beef pie a while ago. And I don't know what the name was but it was just Big Juicy and sitting there waiting for me with my name on it

Well that's all it should be called Big Juicy and sitting there Big Juicy and sitting there There's a 13 second long video

and it scrolls past the cabinet and I tell you if you watch this the good eating would be right out the window Yeah Popcorn chicken wraps Have to have a little cheat day for that A Kransky pastry Rolls past the cabinet. And if you watch this, the good eating will be right out the window. Yeah.

Popcorn chicken wraps. Have to have a little cheat day for that. A Kransky pastry. You know what, Jess, we've had trouble with the phone line, the second caller. So I think we might just have to award Martin this bakery. The bakery of the day. I honestly don't even know. It would have been impossible to beat anyway.

I think we were kind of all on board for different reasons. My vote there. So Martin, that's it. The baking company in Stratford. So, Martin, that's it. The Baking Company in Stratford. What have you found? Bakery of the Day. Congratulations. Thank you very much. I pass it on. Just like that. Fantastic. Absolutely

no competition. Tell them to expect a certificate in the mail. Oh, that'll be awesome. That'll be quite a place. A visit from us next time we're in the NACs. Oh, you have to. Absolutely. Head to Stratty. Fantastic, Martin. A visit from us next time we're in the NACs Oh you have to Fantastic Martin Alright Now when I'm at work and I think you'll notice this

I'm on I'm not on YouTube watching a video in between I'm not buying houseplants I'm not shopping on Witchery Yeah I've seen you do all of those things. But when I'm on, I'm on.

Oh, you're with me. Exactly. And you know what? I show up and I'm here every day. Yeah. But there's a man in Italy who has honestly gotten away with something quite incredible. His name is Salvatore Scumaci.

Okay. That's what I'm going to call my kid. Salvatore. Salvatore Scumaci. Okay. That's what I'm going to call my kid. Salvatore. Salvatore Scumaci Sproul. Have you watched, what was that TV show I watched, that Netflix show? The Heist? Yeah. Yes.

And it's like they speak Spanish. It's Spanish, but they speak like Italian and, gee, God, those accents and voices. Very sexy, aren't they? Oh, are they what? Yeah. Well, this guy was... Are they what? Are they what?

Are they what? It's a real sexy accent. They're Italian. Wasn't New Zealand voted one of the sexiest accents around? I don't know how. Yeah. But I think it's like rinky-dink, hey? It's kind of like rinky-dink and cute.

Yeah, people find it cute overseas, which is great. Just work on that. Yeah, we'll work on that. Mine's Scottish. Anyway, we'll move on. So this guy, Salvatore, he is a public servant. He worked in the public health sector as a fire safety officer in a hospital. Okay.

One particular hospital. 15 years ago, he went in and signed his forms for his new job. Yeah. And then never showed up since. He didn't put in a single day's work for 15 years. But it went unnoticed. Okay. And over those 15 years, he made nearly a million dollars.

A million New Zealand dollars. What just fell through the gaps of things people noticed. Yeah. Oh, my guru. One of many, it turns out. So they've called him the king of absenteeism. He was spotted in the hospital just once, the day he went in to sign his contract.

Yeah. Apparently, Italy, for years, has had issue with ghost employees. Yeah. It just goes unnoticed. Right, just huge government departments and so many workers. Slip through the air. Slip through the cracks. Oh man, I want one of those jobs. Yeah.

Finally, an internal investigation was done because the police were looking at the hospital and they compared a list of the hospital staff with the shifts they'd done and they went, who is this guy? And where are his shifts? And then they found him. Never turned up for work. He's now being charged with

aggravated extortion, fraud and abusive office. Six of his bosses are also facing charges of abusive office for not having ever investigated this for 15 years. And apparently within that hospital, 57 employees were also denounced for absenteeism and are all under investigation. That is absolutely shocking when that's your health sector, right?

Yeah, and also like all the politicians, because that's taxpayer money or everyone would be so, like no wonder everyone's facing charges. Also, just the audacity of the guy to be like, I'm just not going to go. And then to just keep getting the paycheck and be like, okay. Well, when your first paycheck came in,

you'd be like, oh, okay. Do you think it was conscious that he'd be like, I'm going to play this and see how long I can get away with it? Yeah, and then... Or he just didn't go and then he was like, well, it seems to be getting paid.

I'll just keep this up. You'd just keep all the money there, wouldn't you, knowing that one day you'd have to pay it back or you wouldn't? Yeah. They've had so many cases. There was another guy who lived. Famously, that's how embezzlement and fraud works. Everyone saves all the money just in case they get caught.

There was another guy who was a security guard for a different hospital who lived on the premise. So he would turn up to work in his undies, clock in, punch in, go back to bed. Wow, okay. Yeah. Okay, so on the back of this this morning, we want to know how bad you slack off at work.

We're never going to beat someone that has a ghost job for 15 years. But, you know, like, there are ways to kill time in the day at work, eh? Maybe there's a back office or a back... You worked in retail.

Did you ever find a way to slack off? Was there like a back storage room? Yeah, there was a back storage room. I used to... I was dating a barista at the cafe up the road from my retail job and he used to just come in and sit on the couch and talk with me.

Okay. And then the customer would come and be like, hello there. Do you need any help? My boss, David, is going to be listening to this being like, I knew it. I had a friend who was a night time worked the chicken at a hotel,

like the late chicken at a hotel reception, and she studied for her degree. The whole time, she was just like, that's my study time. Because you'd only have to let in the odd drunk person that had lost their swipe card. Exactly. Other than that, it'd be pretty, maybe an early checkout at 4 a.m. Yeah. For someone catching a flight, but otherwise it'd be, yeah, pretty crazy. Get paid to study, basically.

Yeah. Producer Jared, you're the king of slacking off, apparently, at work. Yeah, not at this job, but when I was working at a supermarket, I was pretty good at it. Okay. Yeah, I had a few techniques. Okay, what did you do? So if I didn't have a customer, I would jump out of my checkout

and pretend to tidy up all the shopping bags, because then I'm sitting on the floor, I'm surrounded by bags, it looks like I'm real busy, and customers would bypass my checkout and pretend to tidy up all the shopping bags. Because then I'm sitting on the floor, I'm surrounded by bags, it looks like I'm real busy, and customers would bypass my checkout. You'd sit on the floor? Yeah, because the bags were kept at a low level on the shelf. Oh, so you mean behind your little checkout? You'd sit on that floor? No, it's like behind, it's in the lane of the checkout

where all the chocolates and stuff are. Oh, right. I would also get out the spray bottle and just spray the whole conveyor belt so it looked like I was about to clean it. Like it looked really wet. Yeah, so no one wanted to put their veggies on that. Yeah, good.

I wouldn't go on a wet conveyor belt. No, no. Right, okay. I used to organise the boxes. So you put more work into avoiding work than just doing it? Yeah. So you would, at the end of the day,

when you gave them your money from your till, would they be like, why do you have less than everyone else? Nah, nah, nah. They never said that. Yeah, self-serve was another one. Because if you came in with more than 12 items, I would hate you.

So I would make your machine lag out a bit. And then if you ask why it's happening, I'd be like, oh, you have more than 12 items. How would you make the machine, out a bit. And then if you ask why it's happening, I'll be like, oh, you've got more than five items. How would you make the machine, they can do that? Yeah, we had an old self-serve system, so I could control everyone's

individual self-serve machines. Jared, I think the power went to your head. It did a bit, yeah. I think you are tripping on power there, Jared. I think so. I love to take 14 or 17 items through the self-serve. Not on my watch.

I'm good at it. I'm good at it. I'm good at it. Oh, if it's 15, 16, 17, no one's going to notice. See, that's fine, Jared. You need to check your power. That went to your head. Yeah, maybe. Amazing.

So we want to take your calls this morning. 0800 DARS at M. You can text them as well. 9696. How good are you at slacking off at your job? Like, what are the little things you do to kill time at work that makes it look like you're busy, but you're not? And maybe it's previous jobs you've had as well.

Yeah. I feel like not a lot of people are going to call it, but the current job. Yeah. Hey, but fair enough. We can make it anonymous. So a man in the country of Italy has had a job for 15 years that he's never turned up to, but he's been getting full pay. Full pay.

Nearly a million dollars worth of salary. And it's a big thing in Italy, apparently, ghost jobs. But we want to know, maybe not to that extent, but how bad do you slack off at work? Maybe you've got some little secret ways to make it look like you're busy slacking off. Make it look like you're doing your job, but you're not. It seems an essential part of this is not being seen.

Yeah. Or out of sight, out of mind. Yeah. I work in the chilled and frozen department in a supermarket. I used to go out the back to the chilled area, drink chocolate milk, and hide in a fort I made of empty milk crates. Amazing. Making a fort at work.

And people aren't going to be, like, hanging around in there because it's chilled, but they've obviously got all the things to keep them warm. Yeah. Alright, let's take some calls. Anonymous, you've got a way of slacking off, or you did? Yeah, I currently do. Okay. Okay, carry on.

What I did is in the first few weeks of my current role, automated a lot of my processes. Okay. And now spend probably 90% of my time sitting at my desk scrolling through

Facebook and TikTok. Yeah. So you've made everything sort of automatic. Automatic. Yeah. That's dangerous though, right? Because then if they find out,

you're gone. Yeah, because they'll realise they don't actually need you. Or are you the only one that knows how to run the automation? Yeah. At the moment, I'd be the only one that knows how to run it. My man.

See, this is why you hire lazy people. Yeah. They find the quickest way to do something. Yeah, exactly. Definitely. And so how many hours would you have of just slacking off a day then? Six or seven. So basically...

You should learn a language in that time or something. Use the outlets. Oh, something constructive. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Anonymous, thanks for your call. Rory, you've got a way to slack off during work? He's slacking off on his phone call. Rory.

Oh, hello. Hello. You sound very relaxed. Yes, yes, I am. So this is an old job. So I was working at a steel mill as a laborer. So I was kind of an intern. And my job was to keep inventory in my office, as I called it,

was this shipping container right in the corner of the workspace. And it was split into two rooms. The first room was nuts and bolts and all that crap. And in the second room, out back, was just a bunch of machinery. So on one of my first shifts, I planted a chair at the very back behind the biggest machine.

And because my supervisor's like 80s or 90ss he'd have a hard time getting back there so whenever i felt like it i would just sit back there go on my phone have a have a nap and i'll sleep most of the day away wow so you basically made a secret chair and that's again an essential part of it not to be seen. Heidi Hall. Exactly. Brilliant. Rory, thanks for your call. Another anonymous caller. You managed to slack off during a job? Yeah, I was a lifeguard at a previous job. Oh, don't slack off on that job, anonymous.

No wonder you want to be anonymous. The best part is while I was working there, I mastered the art of sleeping with my eyes open. How? As a lifeguard. Yeah. And to also get another nap in, I'd offer to clean the water slide.

I'd have a nap about midway up it and at the top as well. Because there'd be no water going down down when you're cleaning it, right? No. How would you get out? Would you climb up like a rat up a drainpipe and then when you got to a nice smooth spot, you'd have a lie down? That would get hot though.

What a way to wake up when some kid came down though. Yeah, sure. Mia, how did you slack off at the coffee shop? Good morning. Good morning. I used to do like

the chalkboard art signs and stuff. Oh, yeah. And I used to just take hours doing, well like, yeah, hours doing it because you can't exactly rush art. Do you know what I mean? No, you can't. It's a process, babe.

It's a process. And so would they just be like, oh my God, hurry up and clear some tables, and you'd be like, I've got to do this like bird with a coffee. Yeah, well, like, my bosses asked me to do it, so like, and I was all right at it, but it was just kind of like, yeah, I would just do it and take hours, and no one ever questioned because no one else had the ability, I suppose. Yes, good.

And no one else wanted to. Love it. What a great way to slack off. All right, Mia, thanks. You called some text messages. I want to finish with this text message. It's a hot play. They were working at a restaurant and they found that out the back they got a new skip delivery.

Oh, okay. Now they've got two skips. Yep. So they put a sign on the brand new skip saying, do not put rubbish in here. Okay. And then they turned that into their nap space. They put a mattress in the bottom of the skip. And so they'd open the little lid of the skip

and jump in the skip, which is apparently brand new. Super clean. Oh, okay. And they'd have a nap in the skip. Good. No one's opening up the skip for you to peek. No, no. And if it says, do not put rubbish in there, you daren't put rubbish in there. But what if you did, though? What if you were an absolute rule breaker and you lifted up and half a big bag of food scraps in there?

Yeah. Really ruin your napping mattress. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As at Herald's new podcast, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to The Front Page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts

and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. ZM's Fletch Warner Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Skip it or stream it. And ahead of the long weekend, skip it or stream it, we take a look at shows on streaming platforms and ask you on Instagram if we should skip it or stream it, if it's worth streaming. And it's the long weekend too.

Do you know a show we didn't ask about that a lot of friends are talking about at the moment, The Serpent? Oh, yeah. Like that true crime. Yeah, I've had some friends recommend that. The creepy dude's face. Yeah. But I didn't know too much about it.

And they're like, it's a bit of a true crime thing. I love a bit of true crime. Yeah, based in Southeast Asia. Okay. So we asked around about ones that were catching people's eyes at the moment

and our first option for the long weekend on Netflix is Love and Monsters. This is a movie that came out to briefly describe it. It looks like monsters

are kind of like taken over and a guy wants to get to his girlfriend, basically. And you'll know the guy is Dylan O'Brien. He was in like Maze Runner and Maze Runner and Maze Runner and... Maze Runner, I think he's in Maze Runner. He ran through the maze three times. I don't recognise this cast at all.

Oh, 4.7. Yeah, so it's on... Out of 10. On Rotten Tomatoes, this movie has 93%. And I've had friends who are like, you've got to watch it. Oh, 4.7. Yeah, so it's on Rotten Tomatoes. This movie has 93%. And I've had friends who are like, you've got to watch it. It's great. And 7 out of 10 on IMDb.

So we ask you, should you skip it or stream it? Stream it. Overwhelmingly, stream it. Yeah, someone said, hot guy and a dog. What more do you want? Fair point. That's a good point. Man strikes out in Apocalypse.

Dylan O'Brien, Say No More, Not Bad, Could Be Better, and Watch for the Monsters Only. So there's love for those who love love and monsters for those who love monsters, but apparently worth a watch. Yeah, right. Okay, next on the list. We asked about our new TVNZ comedy series Creamery.

This is basically set in a post-apocalyptic world where all the men are dead. Yeah, directed by Roseanne Liang. She's amazing. And it stars the girls from Flat 3. Yeah, and it's a comedy. It's a pretty amazing New Zealand cast. Yeah.

Oh, it's got everyone. Everyone but me. I was going to say, we would accept all my friends right now. Well, they don't need any dead weight. All my friends are in it. Yeah. They don't need any dead weight. Every female comedian's in that show.

Do they have cool stories about on set and stuff and you don't have anything to add and you're like, oh, yeah. No comment. So we asked you, should you skip or stream Creamery?

Stream it! Yeah, I'm loving this. All the men are dead. What more could you ask for? That's, yikes. Entertaining would watch again. A plus. Here's a comment.

Thank God Hayley Sproul wasn't in it. That would have ruined it. No one said that. That was... Starring every funny woman in New Zealand, and I mean every. Every one of them. Stunning cast. It's a perfect in New Zealand, and I mean every. Every one of them. Stunning cast.

It's a perfect dark comedy. Such a great Kiwi comedy. I loved it. I want season two. All right. Maybe, Matt, you know, you could do season two. Season two.

No, it's a matter of principle now. So people are saying, give that a watch on TNZ On Demand. And we also asked about New Amsterdam. Everyone's talking about it, though. Another medical drama. demand. And we also asked about New Amsterdam. Ugh. Everyone's talking about it though. Another medical drama. My wife's like, maybe we should watch New Amsterdam.

I'm like, why? We had ER, Chicago Home, Grey's Anatomy. We've had medical dramas. House. What do we need? When I see new hospital dramas, what do they put in their funding pitch? What do they put in their funding pitch? What do they put in their funding pitch?

Like, this one's different. How? Oh, what's different? The doctors are hot. Nope, that's been done. We asked you, should you skip or stream New Amsterdam? Stream it! Overwhelmingly.

So I think it's on, Neon has it, and I think they've got the new Express episodes of the new season, but I think it's also on Netflix. So I started because I saw that and I had friends saying they watched it. So I was like,

alright, I'll give it a couple of episodes. It's actually pretty good. See, I think you're either a medical drama person or you're not a medical drama person.

I'm not. I am. I am. No, I don't know. It's a good cast. It's a good cast. That's what people are saying. Bloody brilliant with an awesome cast. Literally the a good cast. That's what people are saying.

Bloody brilliant with an awesome cast. Literally the best program out. A more hip version of Grey's Anatomy. Yeah, I like it better than Grey. I kind of went off Grey's Anatomy years ago. Right. I like it better than Grey's Anatomy. I mean, I've got Shortland Street.

What more do I need when it comes to hospital drama? Emotional, addictive, surprising, kind, and uplifting. And someone else said, yeah, the best new medical drama. But that's the thing. I don't need it. I'm not a medical drama guy. I'm not a medical drama guy at all. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

I think, do pass on my compliments to your friend's architecture firm. It's probably the wackiest. I heard myself saying it to George. You're calling me out for my private school showing. Yeah, we were just talking about a place we went and the architecture was beautiful

yeah we went for a nice posh dinner last night and I said it was lovely and Georgia just said her friend worked for the architecture and I said

do pass on my compliments to your friend's architecture it was beautiful my compliments what does he do I talk shit five days a week really

right okay well we'll definitely put that on our website yeah sure for feedback anyway talk shit five days a week. Really? Right. Okay, well, we'll definitely put that on our website. Yeah. Sure. For feedback. Anyway, this kind of popped up after the show yesterday.

I don't even know why I didn't see a body piercing. I think I just was thinking about body piercings. So we wanted to know if people still get body piercings or dig body piercings. Just what the 2021 feeling is on body piercings or dig body piercings, just what the 2021 feeling is on body piercings. And obviously not ears because they're still... Nah. People are still getting the ears pierced.

I had my lip pierced. Did you? Yeah, when I was emo. Still got a scar. My nose pierced for 10 years. Took that out. On the outside eye, not the one that you give a pig to stop it digging in the dirt. Just the normal one.

I had that in for 10 years. Took it out when I was 26. So only like five years ago. And I had a full identity meltdown. Because you know you see when some people have had a nipple piercing and their nipples... It smashes the nip. Degraded? It smashes, yeah.

How did you describe it yesterday when we were talking about it? I described it as a former volcano. Yeah. That had a blight on the vent. Yeah, like there's a bit of it in the ocean, a small bit on the land. You compared it to a tongareero versus a narahoe. Yeah. A narahoe is a pristine non-pierced nut.

Yeah. But a tongareero is a multiple vents. Busted out the sides of the cone. Blown out. Yeah. So how do we feel about piercings? A tonguerero. Yeah. There's multiple vents. Busted out the sides of the cone. Blowing out. Yeah. Yeah. So how do we feel about piercings? We've asked you on our Instagram and the poll results are in,

and I think very, very concise here. Yeah. Very, very. Belly button piercings. Let's start with belly button piercings. All the rage. Are they yes or no? They were all the rage.

I wasn't allowed one when everyone was doing them. In 2000s? So you were allowed a lip, a nose and all that, but you weren't allowed a belly button piercing? Oh, no, I mean, I wanted my belly button pierced when I was like 12, 13. I got my lip and nose pierced when I was 16. But didn't get the belly button done then? Nah, because it wasn't cool then.

Right. My wife had one. She had a belly button piercing. Did she? Yeah, she's still got the hole. But, I mean, she was absolute, you know, feel good. Yeah. Trash She was

What you were gonna say Was she was Hamilton What was she As in if you break down Who was getting a belly button piercing Young A female who wasn't afraid To get the old puku out

Yeah In a crop top Yep What were those tops called In the early 2000s Genie tops Yes She would have absolutely

Rocked a genie top She's from Hamilton Yeah So yeah She was absolutely Right in the called in the early 2000s? Genie tops? Yes. She would have absolutely rocked a genie top. She's from Hamilton. So yeah, she was absolutely right in the corner that was getting belly button piercings. But we said belly button piercings, yes or no? 71% said no. I don't think anyone's getting new belly button piercings. I think I've got some friends who still just like have them in.

Yeah, because you might as well. I keep them, have babies and took them out when they had babies because their belly's stretched and stuff. Well, that's the thing. You get older and you don't have that flat belly anymore and the ring kind of gets enveloped. And they can grow out. Like that little, because you're pinching.

It's not an area. You know, you're like just pinching a bit of your skin. Yeah. So only 29% in favour of belly button piercings. Next up, we said nipple piercings. Next up, we said nipple piercings. What are your thoughts on nipple piercings? I obviously never had them, but I'd always worry about getting them caught on your T-shirt.

So you'd take off your mesh top. You'd be more piercing than nip. You've got tiny nips. I've got tiny nips. The piercer would be like, sorry, can't get a bar through that. Very petite. Literally go through the actual chest.

Petite. You'd just have to put on the earring. Stabbed. Yeah. 80% of people said no to nipple piercings. 21% said yes. Okay. Eyebrow piercings, which you would have said were a real timely thing.

Were you in the room before when Producer Tara said, I used to have one of those? This absolutely doesn't surprise me. Absolutely doesn't surprise me. I was edgy AF, guys. Did you did pack and save when you worked on the checkout make you put a plaster over it? They did for two weeks while I

said it was healing and then they told me I had to take it out during my shift. Wow. Amazing. 96% of respondents said no to eyebrow pens. I mean, I'm offended by 4%. 4% of people saying, no, I'm just going to put that in, put on some Linkin Park.

Some Papa Roach. Crush a couple of KGBs. And really have a good time about it. So there you go. All right. If you're contemplating it, don't. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Yesterday on the way home from work in the gym,

we did another class yesterday, didn't we, Hayley? We did. God, I had blood in the lungs. It was a hard one. Is that a thing? You know when you're like, so much that you taste that little bloody. Yeah, the talc irony.

You worked looser. Oh, that was incredible. So I was walking home and I had my backpack on and my gym bag. Backpack. Because I always wear a cute little- You're basically Dora the Explorer. I'm basically Dora the Explorer. I've got like my little black, it's a Patagonia backpack.

They're an ethical company, aren't they? Sure. I think they are. They do good things. And so I'm walking home and then I see... You're in the big Patagonia money? Why all of a sudden the love for Patagonia? No, I just read this article where they're real, like,

good or something. How ethical is Patagonia? Are they ethical? Am I about to be cancelled for my cute Dora black backpack? And widely known as an outdoor and adventure wearer. Set a high bar. See?

Yes. I mean, that's easy to say. I could say I'm ethical. You don't know how many blood diamonds I've got stored in a small drawstring bag under my bed. No, Patagonia is taking impressive action to reduce its environmental impact. Yes, exactly. There you go.

Certified organic cotton. So anyway, I'm walking home with my cute Patagonia Dora backpack and my gym bag. And then I see a police car with flashing lights. And I'm like, so I walk that way. There's like three ways I can walk home through the city. And I'm like, well, I'll take that way because I want to see where the police car's going. So I love a bit of drama.

And then they were in a car park, those police, and they met some other police. And they were all in like vests and they had guns and stuff and i was like but anyway and they were they looked at me and i was like okay well i'll just move keep walking and get out of the way and then i walked down the end of the road and there's more police and they're like looking at me they're looking at me and they're they have those massive guns the assault rifles like they're like a meter long strapped to them looking at me and i'm like okay we'll just keep walking. I don't want any trouble.

Like, I'm about to be mixed up in something here. And just as I walk past one of them, he's radioing to someone else saying, yeah, the guy is wearing a black leather backpack. And I'm just like, you've got a black? I've got a black backpack. But it's not leather because Patagonia has been making all these strides to be fair to animals. It's got a shine on it, which could be confused for leather.

That was probably why they were looking because they were all looking at me. Like I walked past probably eight or nine of them and they were all looking at me. But they obviously thought he's too cute to be. Yeah. And he's got two bags. He's too cheap to buy a leather backpack. Yeah, I'm cheap.

I don't match the description. Imagine if you walked past and they were saying, yeah, like, yes, he's very attractive. I'm going to say early 30s. It's got a cheeky vibe. He looks like he's just worked out and you can tell. He's got to be. He's got to pump on.

But it wasn't. And then I just sat on the seat by them and watched and then they just packed up and went away and nothing happened. Oh, lame. But, like, I was being eyeballed by them. It was pretty freaky. I've always wanted to see a crime happen. What, like some kind of...

I did once. Someone stole a car and I was in the Waterview Tunnel and then they crashed it right in front of us, like two cars in front of us, and then ran out of it and ran away and then the police came up and Aaron was like, they're over there. It was like, oh, we're involved.

I didn't though, I had a mini panic attack in the car. So they crashed in a tunnel, tunnels famously one way in, one way out and decided to try to get away from the police. It was the craziest thing I've ever seen. Wow. It was like watching a film. They were going like 160k and crashed into the wall. Do they not know there are speed cameras in there now? I don't think they were worried. They like watching a film. They were going like 160k and crashed into the wall.

Do they not know there are speed cameras in there now? I don't think they were worried. They'd stolen a vehicle. You're waiting for your court date and you get your bloody ESP camera fine. Just sold in the womb. More than a speed fine. Yeah. Fleshforn and Megan.

The podcast. ZM. Friday Flashback. So let's set the mood for today's long weekend group two with Friday Flashback. So, let's set the mood for today's long weekend group two with Friday Flashback. It's got to be at least 10 years old and a banger. 25th of May. I thought we were in May. No, we're in April. It's almost the anniversary of the song.

The song came out in 1998. Wow. You have got, well, that's more than 10 years. This was on a South Park album. What's that? Called Chef Aid, the South Park album. Huh, okay. And that's where it's listed as being released,

by a German producer called Moose T. Damn it, it's not my rap name. And a pop duo called Hot N' Juicy, and vocals by... What is the matter? What are you tapping your fingers for? Oh, my screen's gone blank. But don't worry, you carry on.

And Nara Day provided the... You freak me out now that your screen's gone. I'm panicking about your screen. Vocals. This was a number two in the UK singles charts in 1998. And it stayed on the chart for 17 weeks. It reached number one in Italy, number two in New Zealand, and number five in Ireland.

Now, the reason that you're playing this is because it is part of the new Long Weekend group toot theme tune. It was my inspiration. For I'm Horning. I'm Horning. On the horn. Horning, Horning, Horning. For the long weekend group toot.

And this is your Friday flashback. Moose tea. And hot and juicy. Horny. Horny 98 is the official name of the song, by the way. Okay. There we go. All right, it's your Friday flashback.

On to them. Enjoy. Horning. I sent a message through the internet, but it rejected. I wrote a letter and I sent it to you. Your post-it takes so long, so I got to sing a song. To let you know how I feel, what's the deal, baby. And I can't wait for you, everything you make me do. My heart is ringing, so I'm singing this song for you. And honey, honey, honey, honey. My heart is ringing, so I'm singing this song for you I'm horny, horny, horny, horny

So horny, I'm horny, horny, horny I'm horny, horny, horny, horny So horny, I'm horny, horny, horny tonight I've looked from town to town, but I can't find my way My God's so desperate that I stand to rock it to the moon. In New York City, someone said they saw you singing the blues. But it wasn't that from no one's land that looked like you. My world keeps looking on.

This feeling's much too strong. My heart is ringing and I'm singing this song for you. I'm horny, horny, horny, horny. So horny. I'm horny, horny, horny. I'm horny, horny, horny, horny. So horny. I'm horny, horny, horny So horny I'm horny, horny, horny tonight I'm horny, horny, horny tonight

Well, poster takes so long So I've got to sing this song To let you know how I feel What's the deal, baby? We'll see you next time. Horny, horny, horny. So horny. I'm horny, horny, horny. I'm horny. Horny, horny, horny. So horny. I'm horny, horny, horny tonight. Horny, horny. Horny, horny, horny.

It's your Friday flashback on CDM. Fleets, Vaughn and Megan with Hayley Sproul. It's Moose T. I'm horny. I'm horny. Quick amount of feedback. Probably the most popular thing is the noise in the background. Yeah.

I don't remember that noise being in the background. That is the official single release from 1998. In the background. Does sound like you're playing Doodle Jump, for those who remember Doodle Jump. Good feedback though. Yeah, someone said, I remember being eight years old jamming to this song and being told off by my mum. It's really inappropriate. But I'm 30 now

and mum, I'm allowed to do what I want. Yeah, and the reason we did play that is because that is the base of our new intro for the Long Weekend Group Toot and it's Anzac Day on Monday and it is for the Long Weekend Group Toot, and it's Anzac Day on Monday, and it is time. The Long Weekend Group Toot. I'm horning, horning, horning, horning. So horning, I'm horning, horning, horning in the morning.

All right, so it is time. Let's do this. For the Long Weekend Group Toot. So this is how the Long Weekend Group Toot works. For those that are new to the show, you call us if you're in traffic on 0800-DIALS-IT-M and you start the long weekend group toot with this. And then if you're in traffic,

wherever you are and you hear that, you reply with... So ideally it should sound like... Just like that Now Now I'm a little concerned Okay why are you concerned? We do have great weather today

Over a lot of the country I'm currently looking at a weather map But It's school holidays That takes a lot That takes a lot of traffic off the road But School holidays Long weekend People might be heading away With their children To a destination That takes a lot of traffic off the road. But school holidays, long weekend,

people might be heading away with their children to a destination and making the most of it because the kids aren't at school. They're leaving early. Could be. But you're right. School holidays does take a lot of traffic off the road. Hadn't thought of that. Well, let's not start on a negative note.

No, no, no. No, no. All right, let's start with Karina this morning. Good morning, Karina. Whereabouts in Hamilton are you? I am on a negative note. No, no, no. No, no. All right, let's start with Karina this morning. Good morning, Karina. Whereabouts in Hamilton are you? I am on Covent Drive. All right. Okay, well, when you are ready, get your window down

and give us a long weekend group toot. When you give us a toot, then get the phone out the window and let's hear a reply. Any responses? Okay. I'm just assuming they'll send the window down. Okay. Here we go. Karina, get... I'm waiting for all window down Okay Here we go

Crank it I'm waiting for all the cars To disappear No no no You want them You want them You want them They took back

Yep Right Trying to get my rhythm sorted Okay Okay I'm just coming up To a roundabout Jesus Christ

Let's do this Where am I We're chomping at the bit To get out the gates. Breathe, Stokeborn, breathe. Okay. No, your rhythm was off. You need to go again.

Oh, no. Was it a rhythm issue? Was it a rhythm in the night? It was a rhythm. One more. Okay. One more, one more. Okay, one more, one more, one more.

One more. Now I'm moving away from the cast. Okay, tell more, one more. Okay, one more, one more, one more. Now I'm moving away from the cars. Okay, tell me what. Karina. We're just going to pop you on hold, Karina. Less do we, more do we, Karina. Georgia and Whitby in Wellington. Good morning. Yes.

Good morning. I've got a good feeling about this one. Are you ready to give us the long weekend group tip? Are you ready? I'm ready. Hang on, I'll do my window down. Okay. It's a quiet horn.

Oh, a little wispy horn. We'll give it a good whack. Well, it matters if you can hear it. All right, let's go. Okay, let's do this. Did you hear it? That's very quiet. You don't even have a horn.

That was an indicator. Should we go again? It was a key indicator. Should we go again? It was kind of an indicator. Should we go again? Oh, yeah, okay. We're not hearing a horn, Georgia. Georgia, in case of an emergency, are you driving a horse in a cart?

Sounds like it. This is a terrible start to the long weekend group two. Guys, don't lose hope. Don't lose hope. Rebecca in Hamilton, good morning. Good morning. No, I'm worried now because it's Karina, Georgia, Rebecca. No, I got this. No, she's got it.

Alright, Rebecca, give us the long weekend group two. Yes! Yes! Yes! It was a faint. Yes! Yes! Yes! It was a faint. It was a faint. Yes.

Newish ears to this. We've got a train here. Yeah, I mean, I'm half deaf from years in radio, and I heard that faint toot in the background. It may have been hard for listeners to pick up, but it was there. Rebecca on the board. Hamilton. Yes.

Well done. Congratulations. Let's do it. Let's go to Cherie in Wellington in the city. Good morning, Cherie. Good morning. Alright, give us the long weekend group toot. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Wellington, how dare you.

Cherie, that was great. Whereabouts in Wellington are you? We're near Willis Street. Willis Street. Go again. Go again, because I loved you. Cherie, that was great. Whereabouts in Wellington are you? We're near Willis Street. Willis Street. Go again. Because I loved you. I felt that. I could almost feel the hand. Let's do it. Yes!

Redemption! Oh, Cherie, rewarded with an absolutely perfect toot there. Everybody keeping score there. We had a fail in Hamilton and a fail in Wellington. We have since had redemption in Hamilton and redemption in Wellington. Thank God. Yes!

50%. Thank you, Cherie. Let's go now to Christchurch, our first toot from Christchurch. Good morning, Jamie. Whereabouts are you? I'm on Fitzgerald Ave. I've actually diverted my way to work to try and get this one.

You're a good man. Tell the boss to suck it. Some things are more important. Alright, Jamie, when you're ready, give us a long weekend. I'll give it a nudge. Here we go. I'll give it another one. Yeah, go on. Yeah, go on.

Give her another one. Nah, she's not having it. Oh, jeez, Jamie. Jamie, that's such a lovely little petite little horn. Yeah, that was. It was a perfect toot, though, again. Yeah, your rhythm was not to blame here. Thank you, Jamie. Lucy, whereabouts in Hamilton are you?

Hi, we're down Norton Road in Hamilton. Okay, give us... Spot of some very famous long weekend group toots there down Norton Road in Hamilton. Okay, give us... In spite of some very famous long weekend group toots there on Norton Road. Give us the long weekend group toot, Lucy. Tee, tee, tee, tee, tee, tee, tee, tee, tee. Oh, no. Oh, Lucy. Hamilton, wake up.

Silence. Great tooting. Let's go to Kate. Whereabouts in Auckland are you, Kate? Hi, I'm just on Moran Road in Auckland. Okay, when you're ready, give us a long weekend group toot. Okay. Okay, Kate, you've come loose.

Kate, you've come loose. You've come asunder. Bit of pressure there, Kate. Yeah, the rhythm fell to bits there, Kate. Okay, so one, two. It goes one, two, one, two, three, one, two, three, four. All right. You can count it out if you need to, Kate.

Don't be ashamed. You're ready. Okay. Yeah! Jeez! You did it, Kate! You did it, Kate! Yay! You bloody did it! I You did it, Kate! Yay!

You bloody did it! I thought, no, that's not going to happen. Oh, my God. You were in the right place, weren't you? Oh, that's all right. Oh, my God. You were even doing it with your left hand. Yeah.

That's phenomenal. Not everybody's ambidextrous and ready for the long weekend group, too. But you did it, Kate. You've overcome so many hurdles. Laurie in Auckland, whereabouts are you? Hi, I'm so excited. I'm east and I'm just about to get on the motorway. Okay, when you're ready, Laurie, give us the long weekend group toot.

Okay, one moment, caller. Okay. Here we go. Okay, you ready? Yeah, we're born ready. No, it's okay Laurie One more, Laurie One more

Are you listening to ZM? Oh, she's doing a little bit of Are you? This is good, no? This is great Put your radio on ZM She should work for us And do the group food with me

Just go toot toot At the end of mine, okay? Okay, hang on a second This is great Good on you, Laurie Just go toot-toot at the end of mine, okay? Okay, hang on a second. Hang on a second. This is great. Good on you, Laurie. Yay!

Sorry. Sorry. She wasn't going to take no for an answer. Good recruiting. No, I was not. Yeah, great. Great recruiting. So we're back at 50%, guys.

We're four from eight. Auckland, so far, has had two successes from two tries. All right. Thank you, Laurie. Wilson on the North Harbour Bridge in Auckland. Good morning. Yep. I'm about to get on the motorway, and people are waiting to merge in.

Okay. All right. When you're ready, give us a long weekend group, too, Wilson. Okay. Okay. No, should I go again? Yes, go again. We're all about second chances. Give it a bit of tempo.

Yep. Unacceptable. No. Unbelievable, Wilson. That was good. Hooray. It was good. It's not on you.

You did everything, Wilson. Let's go to Brie. One more before we go to a break. Brie, give us a long weekend group tip. Where are you first? We're in Christchurch. We're just by, yeah, we're on Durham Street. Durham Street.

There's been no successful group tips from Christchurch this morning. No pressure, Brie. Come on, Brie. We're hoping to pull through. This is the most exciting part of our long weekend. Fantastic. Me too, Brie. All right, Brie, go for it. All right, ready to send out? Yep, yep. Come on, Bree. We're hoping to pull through. This is the most exciting part of our long weekend. Fantastic. Me too, Bree. All right, Bree, go for it. All right, ready, stand to help.

Yep, yep. Let's go. Go. Wait, wait. Did someone toot back? No. Oh. You guys were excited.

You didn't give it a time to mature. You were ready to leave it out there for a little bit. Let's go again on Durham. Durham Street in Christchurch. Toot back. And get that phone out the window. No, come on, guys. Okay, and give it some silence as well.

Give it some breathing space. All right, go for it. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. There it was. There it was. We did it. Okay, we go to halftime. Look at how jazzed they are.

They love it. Bree and who else was in the car, Bree? Oh, Chantel. Chantel. Yeah, good. Chantel, Brody and Tristan, yeah. All right, well done. He fell to the brim, that car.

Well done, guys. All right. Five from ten. We're rocking 50% as we go to the break. I'm not happy with that, to be honest. We need to up our game. The Long Weekend Group Tote.

I'm horning, horning, horning, horning. So horning. I'm horning, horning, horning in the morning. Yes, thank you to Hayley Sproul for that brand new intro. I think it's an absolute success. Oh, it is. Right, now we've got a full board, a full phone board. Yes, I love a full

board. And currently, now as we head into the second half of the long weekend group two, running at 50% stats Desk Vaughan-Smith. Yeah, geographically, I was just discussing some stats on the live stream. Hamilton, you're running at 30%. Three toots, one has been successful.

Auckland, 60%. Auckland's geographically leading at the moment. Three callers, two of which have received a positive toot. One was Wilson. The one that missed out was Wilson. And we're now joined on the phone by Annie, who's Wilson's mum. Hello, good morning. Good morning.

So you're not in Auckland, you're in Wellington. Yes, yes, you're in Wellington. Yes, yes. Wellington is in Auckland, so I tried to win him this one. Let's see if I can do it. Yes. Let's do this. It's a generational battle, but also geographically as well. And you know what they say, families that toot together.

Stay together. Stay together. Yeah, famously. Stay together, yeah. Any whereabouts in Wellington City are you? I am just parkside at the Victoria Street. Okay. Oh, Victoria Street.

All right, well, when you're ready, Annie, give us a long weekend group toot. Yeah, just let you guys know I'm really bad with wisdom, so let's see if I can do it. You'll be fine. Here's what I need you to do, Annie. Don't think negatively of yourself. That's a bad start. I need you to only, Annie. Don't think negatively of yourself. That's a bad start.

I need you to only have positive vibes. Vibe check. Positive. Positive. Just remember one, two, one, two, three, one, two, three, four. And then leave it there. Okay, let's go. Okay.

Let's go. Not quite. Not quite more. And another one. And another one. One, two. So one, two. One, two, three. One, two, three, four.

And then stop. Okay. Here we go, Annie. Here we go, Annie. Here we go, Annie. Oh, Annie. Perfect. Robbed. Robbed, Annie.

It was robbed. Your journey, though, went so far. There's absolutely no doubt that the journey of Annie is not over. I just hate that Annie and both Annie and Wilson have tooted and had no response. Something to bond over at Christmas. Yeah, true. And you know what?

There's always redemption, Annie and Wilson, in Queen's birthday long weekend group talk. Yes, that will be in June. Just something to look forward to. Thank you, Annie. Have a fabulous long weekend. Nicole, whereabouts in Auckland are you? I'm just on Wellesley Street.

Okay. I'm coming up to Upper Park and there's a bit of traffic. Oh, okay. All right, when you're ready, Nicole, give us the long weekend group tour. All right. Ah, damn it. I'm going to try again.

Yes, please do. I always thought it was... Good Lord, they're disappointing this morning. That is disappointing. There's something in the air. There's something in the air. That is really disappointing. Well, thank you for trying. I appreciate that.

Let's go to Mary. We're about some West Auckland, are you, Mary? Oh, sort of near the London area. Okay. Yeah, all right. All right, when you for trying. Let's go to Mary. Whereabouts in West Auckland are you, Mary? Oh, sort of near Lennon area. Okay. All right. When you're ready, give us a long weekend group toad. All right. Okay.

There was a whole lot of noises there, wasn't there? That's one hell of a horn. That's your big horn. Mary, try again. Yeah. No. No, Mary, Mary. They just pulled over.

Oh, did they? Mary's coming through. Guys, we're stopping. We're stopping. Thank you, Mary. We are. Second half, I feel like the Warriors. All right, let's go back to the capital.

Amber and Caleb, join us on Willis Street, I believe. Good morning. Good morning. We're on Vivian Street heading towards the airport. Oh, okay. Amber, I'm not going to lie to you. We need a few in the row here to clamber back to our 50% success rate. Okay, we've got that.

All right, when you're ready. I'm not on you. When you're ready, Amber, go for it. Okay, you ready? Yeah. Cool. Okay, we got that. When you're ready, Amber, go for it. Okay, you ready? Yeah. Go. Yeah!

There they are! There they are! There they are. Amber and Caleb on the board for the long weekend group tour. Thank you, Kieran. We're about to crush, George. We are on Main South Road at the moment. All right, when you're ready. Okay, when you're ready, give us South Road at the moment. All right. When you're ready.

Okay. When you're ready, give us the long weekend group toad. All right. Oh, Kieran, you've got a quiet... Kieran, is it a quiet horn or a bad sound?

Not good. Hang on. Hang on. We'll call it to some light and then we'll stop. Okay. We can't hear

your horn, Kieran. Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. All right. One more time. Okay. We can't hear your horn, Kieran. Yeah. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Alright. One more time. Okay, yeah, why not? Ah, no. No, nothing there.

Alright, Kieran, disappointing. We've gone, what are we now, 40-odd percent? Oh, God, I don't know. What's 6 from 15? We're almost at 30 percent. We're almost at 30 percent. Are almost at 30%. Are you kidding me? We're only just above 30% now. That is unacceptable, New Zealand. Gina, whereabouts in Tauranga are you, Gina?

I'm just coming down Walton Street in the CBD, and I might move from this place if they let me down. Okay. Do you want to go now for the long weekend group tour? Are you feeling it now? Oh, yeah, I think we'll be able to get down. Okay. Do you want to go now for the long weekend group tour? Are you feeling it now? Oh, yeah. I think we'll be able to get through. Okay.

All right. Go for it, Gina. Come on. We're getting some really bad phone reception. Here we are. Some really bad, I don't know. Are we clogging the lines? Are the phone towers?

I don't know what's happening. Let's go to Tanya in Hamilton. I would have thought with the amount of vaccinations around 5G would have been better than ever, but apparently not. Tanya, good morning. Good morning. Whereabouts in Hamilton are you? Just on Newcastle Road, but we're just about heading to Raglan,

so we might not have a lot of traffic. Where's the fine line? Is it us? I don't know. Is it us? Tanya, give it a't know. Is it us, Tanya? Give it a go. Give it a go, Tanya. Okay.

The phone, I don't know what's up with the phone lines. I feel like it's Telco's working against the Long Weekend Group, too. I think that's it. I think that's it. We just go out. That's one of our worst results ever. Wow. Should we do one more?

Should we do one more? I think maybe let's give regional New Zealand a chance at redemption here. Yeah, I agree. The last long weekend group toot in Napier. Lisa, good morning.

Good morning. Whereabouts in Napier are you? I'm on Marine Parade on the waterfront. Okay. When you're ready, Lisa, give us the long weekend group. Okay. All right. When you're ready, Lisa, give us a long weekend group tweet. All right.

Oh, they're pulling over. No, I want another one. They're pulling over. I need another one. Who cares? Stuff them. Okay. Go again, Lisa.

We need success. Okay, all right. Just speeding up for someone. No. Okay, all right. Just speeding up for someone. No, and again, the phone. What is with the phone lines? Guys. Oh, my God. We've made it worse by adding another.

I think, yeah. We're now at 30%. We've had six totes from 18 attempts. Are you kidding me? That's 30%. Can we give one more? I need to finish on a high. You need to finish.

Gern, good morning. Is it Gern or can we give one more? I need to finish on a high. You need to finish it. Gern, good morning. Is it Gern or Gian? Gian. Gian. Sorry, Gian. Who got that name in? You, Georgia. Georgia, what did you,

why did you spell it like that? I spelt it how it was said. Gian. G-I-N-N. You spelled it G-E-A-R-N. He's from my hometown. He's going to be a legend. He's going to win.

All right, Gian or Gurney, as we call you, Gurney. You are the last long weekend group tutor. The last long, bro. You're our only hope. All right, give it to us, mate. Sorry, bro. Oh, we just started at the lights now, but we're driving, so... Oh, God. I just...

I give up. I give up. This has been an absolute... I just need one more hit. I know. You don't want to finish on that. All right. Go one more time.

Go again, Gurn. One more. Yeah. Yeah. all right go one more time one more yeah yeah well that just bloody sums up today doesn't it good that's six from nine i give up so why do we keep going we've made the steps it feels like we're on 19 we might as well go for 20. Yeah, come on. Like, I bet we might as well just go for 20. One more. One more.

We have to finish on a high. If Gern can't save the day. Elgin or whatever your name is. Is it Elgin? What's cracking? Hey. There he is. There he is. There he is.

All right, Elgin. And Hamilton. Whereabouts in Hamilton? Why do they drive in Rurikura, bro? Oh, yeah. I'm literally going to stop traffic and pull into the middle. Well, we can't encourage you to do anything illegal, Elgin. But just when you're ready, give us a long weekend group, too.

I'm on the way. Okay. I'm going to go. What was it? No, no, no. Hold on, Elgin. Hold on, Algen. Hold on, Algen. Hold on, Algen.

Don't do the last two. Wait, I just did. Did you not just hear that? Yeah, but you did it wrong, Algen. We can't put it on. We can't finish on a high note. You don't do the last two. You go one, two, one, two, three, one, two, three, four.

Stop. Somebody else does the last two. Go again. Go again. Wait, let me get to the next intercession. I'm right two seconds from it. Hold on. I'm about to pass out. I'm going to get a coffee.

I'm not a coffee drinker. She's pinging. I'm pinging. We're all pinging. Come on, this is my last group toot. What is it? One, two, one, two, three. One, two, one, two, three, one, two, three, four.

Stop. Okay, okay, stop. Okay, four. Stop. Okay. Okay. Stop. Okay. Cool. Let me get to the next intersection. Just go now. Just go now.

Okay. Oh, hold up. I don't want the window. Jeez, you're holding on, man. Jeez. Who's holding on? What's happening? Don't fall out the window.

Don't fall out the window. I'm about to flip this table. No, Elgin! No! Not the last two! Not the last two! Not the last two! Not the last two.

You don't do the last two. Someone else does the last two. You don't do the last two. Elgin, stop being greedy. Share the twos. You can do this. You can do this. Go again, Elgin.

One, two, one, two, three, one, two, three, four. Stop, Elgin. Stop. Stop there, Elgin. No more. I said stop. Okay. You ready do this. You can do this. Go again, Alvin. One, two, three, four. Stop, Alvin. Stop. Stop there, Alvin. No more. I said stop. Okay. You ready?

Yes. Let's go. No, Alvin. You are not listening to me. You are not using your tattaga. Don't do the last two. You've got to resist finishing yourself off as hard as it is. As hard as it is.

We need to look deep inside. We need to find the strength of the good Lord Jesus. Amen. We do not do the last two. Have you been placed on this earth? This is your calling. Okay, here we go. Here we go, Algen.

Okay, Algen, go. One, two. One, two, three, four. No. No. One, two. One, two, three. One, two, one, two, three, four. No, no. One, two, one, two, three. One, two, three, four. Stop.

Okay. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! You did it! That was great.

That's how it is. That's how it's meant to be. That is great. What a story. This is like the how it's meant to be. That was great. That is great. What a story. This is like the blind side, and I'm Sandra Bullock. You are. We've got it, and it's quick, and it's Anzac weekend. Give it up for the Anzacs.

Let me follow you. Yes. Elgin, absolutely amazing. He's hung up. He's just gone. He's gone. He's just gone. There's an Anzac.

There's an absolute mic drop from Elgin. He's like, peace out. He's like, give it up for the Anzacs. Ludos. Boom. Beep, gone. He's an angel. That is an absolute mic drop from Elgin. He's like, peace out. He's like, give it up for the Anzacs. Ludo's. Boom. Beep, beep, beep. Did it. That's a good note to finish on.

I feel like I've just lost a kg from sweat and stress. Even though we did not break any records today. Yeah. We had a shocking second half. I feel like the journey of Elgin. Yeah. Made it all worthwhile. It did.

All right. We're just going to move back to the day because we're a little bit late to after the break. That is still coming up. We do have the latest for you next. I'm talking about Taika and his new gig. Very exciting. Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Oh, apologies. Today's fact of the day is about plevstok. Oh, yep. Plevstok. I'm familiar. You're familiar with plevstok? That is German for arrow stalk.

So arrow stalk or plevstok is very important because for centuries, the Germanic people and the people of Europe didn't know where the birds went in winter. Oh, yeah. They didn't know where the birds went. They just saw them fly away one day and they were like, where do you think they're going? Or, where do you think they're going?

And then they'd come back and they'd be like, where have you been? And the storks could not answer them. Yeah, well, they're storks. They don't speak. Famously. Famously. They can't deliver babies. Yes.

Speak. No. So the first Blefstork was found in 1822. Yeah. Near the German village of Klutz. And it had a spear through its neck. And that, they were like, where did this spear come from?

The von Storck shows the neck of a Storck. Oh my goodness. It's like an arrow, isn't it? Yeah, no, it's like, well, Storcks are quite tall. That's like a... Is that a metre long? That's like a spear. It's a throwing spear.

So the Germans like get the spear out of the Storck, which is living, by the way. And they're like, where's this from? And they start doing some research and they find that it is from Central Africa. And that's when they work out in the winter when it gets too cold for these birds,

they fly down to warmer climates. And what year was this again? 1822. This was the first one. So it was 76 centimetres long, that spear. And it came back with it. It flew from Central Africa all the way back to Germany with a spear in its neck. And it wasn't the only one to do it.

There were other cases of animals coming back with not always full-blown spears in them. Sometimes they were arrows, like you said, smaller arrows. And like blow dart darts caught in them. One of them was apparently a smaller bird, like a swallow. And it was trying to get back into its bird hole, but it couldn't because it had the blow dart arrows. So it was like, dunk, dunk. What's going on?

Why can't I get in? Why can't I get into my sweet little hidey hole? Wow. And that's when they grabbed it and it had an arrow through it and they tracked it also back to Central Africa. Incredible. So today's fact of the day is Germans in the 1800s found out that their birds migrated in their winter to Central Africa for warmth

when a whole lot of them started flying back riddled with spears and arrows. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Bluff or Stuff. Snowlying Edition. We welcome Amanda to Bluff or Stuff. Good morning, Amanda. Hey, guys. How are you? Good, good. All right, so this is how Bluff or Stuff works for those new to the game.

One of us is wearing snowboarding boots. We're all going to lie, though, and bluff and say that we're wearing them. You've got to correctly identify who is wearing them, Amanda, to win the five-day multi-pass to Gadrona Alpine Resort or Triple Cone. I'll start and I'm just, all I need to do is give you the sound effect. Listen to this. Jesus!

That's my big boot on the desk. That's not what it sounded like. You heard there, Amanda, he kicked the desk hard with his soft, with his soft boot. This is the sound of a snowball boot being put on the desk at work. Really? Really?

Oh, okay, that did sound harder, didn't it? Okay. Actually, this is the sound. Oh, here we go. Of a boot being put on the table. Boots are made of metal So That sounds like

No it's got a metal The little clip clops On the bottom No that sounds like A drink bottle That is not a drink bottle Okay do the boot again then Again

Very drink bottle sounding Again Very drink bottle sounding Very drink bottle sounding Amanda Amanda I'd like you to eliminate Who you definitely Think it isn't I'm going to go with That it's a drink bottle sounding. Amanda, I'd like you to eliminate who you definitely think it isn't.

I'm going to go with that it's a drink bottle, and I'm going to say that it's not Hayley. Oh, no. Hayley is out. Hayley is out. I ran out of props. I panicked. You panicked, didn't you?

You had a panic sprout. Was it the hard boot on the desk of Vaughn, Amanda, or was it the soft but also heavy and very aggressive boot of mine? Amanda. I'm going to say that it's Fletch that has them. You think Fletch is wearing the boot? Yeah. And you are correct. Yes!

Congratulations, Amanda. Well done. Thank you. You have won for yourself a five-day multi-pass to Gadrona Alpine Resort or Trimble Cone. Reliable snow, fewer closed days, more fun on the slopes. For only $75 a day. Sail ends April.

Well done. Nice. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, wide open terrain. They've got it all at Card East. Yeah. Some of the most amazing days snowboarding at Card East. Good fun.

Go out west, get to the captain's run, hit the cafe. Snow sleds on the Card East. Yeah, bro. Yeah, that sounded good. Yeah, that sounded cafe. Hitting the snow sleds on the car days. Yeah, bro. Yeah, that sounded good. Yeah, that sounded real. That sounded good. Sick, dog. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and clean to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music, live here. ZM.