ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 23rd August 2021

Episode Date: August 22, 2021

Professionals in the Bedroom  The Wiggles  Top 6: OnlyFans  Roaching  Ben Evans: NZLockdownMemes Where's My Medal?!  Motorway Mates!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, where the discussion turns to lockdown baking and a bit of controversy because Megan, unable to make a lockdown recipe, Vaughan, because your seven-year-old's beating her to it. Apparently once one person in your...

How far does a social situation extend? Like, because you're not blood related to August. No. But we don't cross over social... Yeah, she's technically in a bubble, and so no, she can't make them. Because August made donuts yesterday in her

lockdown cooking at home, lockdown baking. The first recipe we held on the cards was lemon and poppy seed baked donuts. But she just made standard cinnamon and sugar. I know, but you could kind of just flavor those, right? Right. So your household's done donut balls. You've done biscuits last week.

Still nothing has made it into the studio. I'd just like to point out. Yeah, where's the donut balls? The donut balls got smashed. What's on the cards for next baking treat? I don't want to let too much out of the bag, but Dad might be making an appearance as special guest on August's next Lockdown Baking,

and one of Dad's absolute favourites is getting made. Does Dad have to edit this Lockdown video? No, Mum's editing the Lockdown video. On an app on her phone. Oh, yeah. Is it the iMovie one? No, InShot. Oh, okay. It's watermarked on the bottom of the... Oh, you just pay for the iMovie one? No, InShot. Oh, okay.

It's watermarked on the bottom of the... Oh, you just pay for the full one. I was like, we should pay for that and get rid of the watermark. And she's like, I don't care about the watermark. I was like, well, frame it differently so that we can crop out the watermark. She's like, nah. I'm like, okay. Sweet or savoury?

Savoury. No, sweet. Okay. It's lockdown baking. I mean, I know you can bake savoury things, but no, this is one of my absolute favourites. So tune in. Be there.

Or something. I don't know. Do whatever you want. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Megan. Hello. Good morning. Welcome to the show.

Fletch Vaughan and Megan. Thank you, Ash, for that news update. It's two minutes past six. Good morning. Good morning. Wherever you are in this level four world this morning. Yep, yep. It's still level four.

It's still a world. And you've still got this handlebar moustache. Correct. I thought this was a novelty. Nope. This is me now. Are you going to re... Because your stubble's already grown a wee bit.

Are you going to reshave it or just... I don't know. I don't know. Well, I do... I do want to do a period of just the moustache. So that's going to be... Like clean shaven other than... No, no, no, no.

Oh, right. Trimmed very shortly. Clipped very shortly. Never clean shaven. I was like, I don't... I've never seen that. Never clean shaven, but moustache is the next one, I think. Are you keeping this novelty beard for the, have you been paying attention filming?

Yep. I told them I'm wearing a cowboy hat too. Because we're doing it from home. Yeah, right. So I've got to find some joy in it. Yeah. Because it's not like, it's a... It's a punish, isn't it, to film?

It's a tech heavy... On your Ruru Broadband. Ruru Broadband to film? It's a tech-heavy... On your Ruru broadband. Ruru broadband. Well, that's why on Ruru... Well, no, everybody's broadband. So you've got to record it. Oh, yeah, don't worry about it. It's stressful. It's a rigmarole.

It's a rinse to explain. Yeah. Don't worry about it. But we're doing it. Yeah. We're doing it. The top six. I mean, I wonder what has been happening in the news that we could possibly cover

and have you been paying attention. Oh, yeah, that's not good. Yeah. Good luck with that. Exactly. The top six is coming up. Only fans have said they'll be blanket banning pornographic, what could be deemed pornographic material on Only Fans.

What? Yeah, like the one thing they're known for. What? So I've got the top six other things you can still do on OnlyFans to make money. Oh, okay. Because it's not all nakedness. Yep. There's other.

It's pinks. Right, okay. There's other kinks involved. Okay. Your chance to get a free ride with the movie Free Guy Which will be back in cinemas When we're out of this mess At 8 o'clock your chance to win those boring mundane bills

Paid off so make sure you listen out for the activator Next I'll tell you which professions are best in the bedroom Are radio announcers on there? I've yet to see us on the list It's not what we need to start the morning Come on Are radio announcers on there? I've yet to see us on the list. It's not what we need to start the morning. Come on. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

A former high-class escort has revealed which professions are the best in the bed. Well, that's why radio announcers aren't on the list then. High-class escort. Yeah, radio announcers can't afford that. We don't need to pay for it. Oh, what? No, we're more of a low end. Yeah, right. Low end, see if we can get it on Contra sort of situation.

Yeah, that's Contra's free exchange for advertising. Yeah, advertising. For those not in the industry. So if you do need a high end escort, see Barbara. Oh, that's the end of the joke. I was just going to rattle off a number, but I'd hate for someone to think it was an actual phone number, call the number and be like, is this Barbara?

And then it is Barbara. Oh, my God. Some old lady. He's like, yes. I heard them talking about your prowess on the radio. What? Yeah. So I stopped.

So first of all, she said lawyers are good in the bedroom. She said if you want a debaucherous night, the lawyer is your man. Doesn't matter if they're commercial property, divorce or criminal. They're pensioned for kinky stuff. Well, they're a stickler for the details, aren't they? They are. Experts are finding the small print. If you follow my drift.

Expert at finding the little loopholes and mistakes and contract wording. Someone who's also good at finding those little loopholes apparently are doctors. Well, that's unfair. They're an advantage. They know about the body, don't they? They know, don't they? They have great stories, good at foreplay, which you would expect because they know the human body.

That might give you a running commentary while they're down there. And that's when poop comes out. Oh, my God. Yes. I know. Or they're down there and they go, oh. Oh, have you? Hang on a second.

Hello. She did say they tend to fall in love with you and can't believe that you don't want to be with them outside of... Doctors. Even though they've got a wife and four kids at home. Funny, fast and cute is how she describes police officers. She says cops, yeah, they make their own lunches and are good to their mums.

They promise you they'll wear their uniform one day, but they never do as they're too scared of getting caught. But they generally get a thumbs up. Yeah, right. IT workers, they love foreplay, but she said often they have bad breath and don't have great dental hygiene. Oh, wow. They're pretty

bit anxious because they're pretty worried you've got a virus. Yeah. And they know how to turn you off. And then turn you back on. Tradies. And they fall on the spectrum. Because the uniform, we like, you know.

Shorty shorts. Yeah, but they're probably more tired. They're probably the tiniest of all the jobs so far, the most physical., but they're probably more tired. They're probably tired after all the jobs so far, the most physical. She says they're the opposite of what you might expect and they call them pussycats in the bedroom. Who tend to gravitate towards MILFs. I'll be your partner.

Wow, you just dropped that. Well, they need that, so just casually, Megan. They need somebody who can do the wash their, you know, wash their clothes. Shorty shorts. Right. She says criminals. She hasn't given a definition of criminals.

Criminals, that's not an employment field. And hasn't defined what kind of criminal. Right. But she says the harder the crime, the softer they are. Oh, really? Okay. The people who got the worst review was anyone who had any kind of fame.

Celebrities. She says, fame is not something to be envied. I've never met a bunch of more depressed, egocentric and insecure people. They typically try to negotiate fees despite being paid heaps. And it's true what they say, the sex is never like it is in the movies.

Oh, wow. Okay. I don't know who. That sounds like. Yeah, tell us who. I don't know who. That sounds like. Yeah, tell us who. Because they used to have people fawning over them, right? So have they become. Yeah, maybe.

Lazy. Complacent. Yeah. They don't need to work. Yeah. In their boudoir. So doctors and lawyers, big thumbs up. Well, they already get enough thumbs up.

I mean, they work hard. They do a lot of. Yeah. Lawyers do a lot of boring reading. And they... Caught a pass. ...on the front line. Play ZM's Fleshphone and Megan.

The Wiggles. The line-up, the Wiggles, is having a bit of a shake-up. This isn't the first Wiggles change-up. You had your original Wiggles. Yep, OG. And then Greg, the yellow Wiggle, left because he got sick. And they had Sam. Sick in real life?

Yes, sick in real life. Or just got over it? That's right. Oh, I thought you meant like his character was like, Greg's had to go away because he's sick. No, he was actually sick. Hey, it's important to teach kids. Yeah.

Young about these things. We've had to put Greg down. Greg's gone to a farm. That dog's been along over a long time too. Wags the dog. Don't tell me that dog's going to live forever. They've 100% swapped that dog out. So Greg left, Sam came.

Then Greg got better and came back and nudged Sam out of the group. This was a big political controversy. Yeah, right. If you follow the Wiggles history. Okay. Then they did an almost complete line-up change. Murray, Jeff and Greg

left and they got Emma, Jeff, and Greg left, and they got Emma, Lockie, and Simon. Blue, Wiggle, Anthony stayed on. I'm not reading this anywhere, by the way. This is going 100% by Wiggle's memory because I've been through that period of parenthood. Yeah, Megan's in it at the moment. I've only ever experienced new Wiggles.

Lockie, Emma. Do yourself a favour and go back for some OG Wiggles. Okay, right. It's good stuff. Will Baby Bastion appreciate OG Wiggles? I think so. I mean, that's where your classics came from. That's where Chugga Chugga Big Red Car.

Hot Wins, Hot White Ears. Fresh Salad. Hot Potato. Hot Potato, Original Wiggles. I always said I wouldn't do it, but for some reason, I don't know, what have they got over kids? He's like six months and he just really loves it. I reckon in that age

bright colors just everything's super bright yeah right he's moving and nothing goes for too long um i've just googled uh anthony is the richest wiggle 20 million dollars good lord i think yeah i think that's on the light side because they were making 40 million bucks a year at one stage jeez okay yeah they were australia million a year at one stage. Jeez. Okay. Yeah, they were Australia's richest entertainers before the Hemsworths broke into Hollywood and Margot Robbie started getting paid. The story from 2019, Emma Wiggle estimated then to be worth $12 million. Right.

And she's just new in the scale of things. Yeah, but she's also the first female W wiggle and opened up a whole branch of merchandise. I just cannot believe they were staying in that same service motel that we stayed in in Dunedin. And they were in a shitty rental car, like a little rental van. They're millionaires. Get a private jet or something. They're down to earth. They're in touch with a common man.

So they've added new characters They've added four Because you may have noticed Apart from Jeff Fatt The original Purple Wiggle Okay Jeff, that was Jeff's last name Oh, okay

It's been a white line up Yeah From top to bottom Not a lot of ethnic diversity They had the Brown Wiggle Robbie Rockaday Has joined them for New Zealand stints before

as the brown wiggle, although he changed this time around. He was the Kiwi wiggle because everyone's like, you're only calling him brown because he's Maori. So problematic. But with a white line-up, they've added some ethnic diversity to the cast. Oh, okay. That's good.

Four new characters, all. That's good. Four new characters. All of different ethnic backgrounds. Sahai. Like Sahai Tiffin. One news. The only other person called Sahai. Please tell me it is Sahai Tiffin. It's not.

It's Sahai Hawkins. She is passionate about music and dance and enjoys performing Colombian cultural dances, Brazilian samba, and salsa dancing. Oh, okay. She's an award-winning dancer and currently Australian and world youth lady salsa and urban Latin champion. Wow. So she's... She can dance.

She can really dance. Then Evie Ferris has joined. She's the first member of the Wiggles that's a First Nations woman. Okay. She's from the Tarabalang tribe. She's the first member of the Wiggles that's a First Nations woman. Okay. She's from the Tarabalong tribe. She's a ballet dancer. Okay. But represents Native Australians. And in the little video where they do introductions, she's doing yoga

on the ground and she's pretending her feet are telephones. Hello? My other telephone's ringing. Hello? Stretchy. And she puts it right up to her ear. Yeah. Wild. So these are like characters that are going to pop on and off.

These are in this new Wiggles TV series called Fruit Salad TV. They're going to be full-time cast members. Oh, wow. John is, he's, but this is the annoying thing. So High's red and Evie's blue. Get some new colours. Yeah. Orange.

Yeah, the orange wiggle. Green. Green could have been used. But, I mean, get some new colours in there. John is Australian Filipino. He's a personal trainer. He's, yeah, Megan, flicking your head around like that, you'll hurt your neck.

You don't want to have to go to A&E in the current climate, flicking your head around like that, you'll hurt your neck. You don't want to have to go to A&E in the current climate, flicking your neck around that quickly. Bastion just loves the Wiggles. He was also known for his involvement in Australian pop music group Justice Crew. So we've got somebody of mixed ethnic background who likes working out, who's been in a pop group. This is right up Seller's Alley.

I'm going to tell you, the Wiggles, the Wiggles streets out of TV, Bastion will be in bed and Megan will still be watching. Andrew's going to come home and be like, what is this?

Megan's going to be like, I just. Oh, you know how you just like, you put it on and then you, yeah, you just do this. This is how I watched an entire series of Paw Patrol. Kids walk away from the TV

and be like, how's Rodder and these dogs going to get out of this? It's quite a mystery. Oh, you missed the new Kelly. She's the new yellow wiggle. Chinese-Australian background. Oh, yeah, Megan's having a perv.

I was just doing some research. Thank you. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. This story has just really tickled me. Actually, I've got glassy eyes. This is what we need at the moment. A teenager rescued a bumblebee that was on the road. Had a crumpled wing.

You don't even see bumblebees that often. When you do, you're like, ah. Everyone said that like last winter, didn't they? I haven't seen a bumblebee. And then last year there was like record numbers of bumblebees. Oh, I like never see them. Yeah. I haven't seen a million dollars in myes. Oh, I like never see them. Yeah. I haven't seen a million dollars in my bank account.

You're trying to manifest that. Yeah. Good luck. Come on, universe. So it had a crumpled wing, so she picked it up and tried to put it in a safer spot. She named it Betty. God, this is like people that bring budgies into the vets. You know, when they find a bird or a sparrow.

Oh, yeah. It's worse than that. I always pick up a bee. Leave it. It's nature. Even when worms are on the footpath after rain and it's like, oh, my gosh, that sun is not your friend, sweetheart. I always put it in the garden. So I don't want it to dry up.

Oh, that's nice of you, though. Worms serve a good purpose. Bees, though, like when their wings are done, they're done. Yeah. Like you can see if their wings are a bit tattered and stuff. They've flown their miles. They've lived their life. They've pleased the Queen. They're ready to die. Well, Betty, despite having

a crumpled wing, obviously recovered from that, but doesn't want to leave her name's Lucy alone. So, it's just Lucy and her little bee Betty now. And so the bee follows her everywhere. Oh, bullshit. There's pictures.

There's pictures. This bee follows her. And like she's got it on her hand and apparently she sleeps with Betty. So Betty joins her in the house, sleeps on her bedside table and has followed her to the shops and on a family trip to the bowling alley.

It didn't follow her. She picks it up or puts it on her if it can't fly anymore. No, it can fly. It's got no choice. It can fly now. She had a crumpled wing for a little bit, but like I said, it's healed. She said I thought she would fly off the first day, but she just never did. And what, there are photos

of her, what, taking it bowling? There's photos of her, like, at home and then, yep, taking it bowling. There's photos of her, like, at home and then, yep, taking it bowling. It's sleeping beside her. Follows her into the bedroom. Like, sits on her head, on her neck. How'd it pick up the bowling ball? Obviously, it's not bowling.

It's just on her hand while she's bowling. She's having a laugh. Why is this in the news? Yeah, you watch next week, she'll be like, and guys, this is a timely reminder, Bee Movie is available on Netflix, and it will be some marketing scheme. Okay. Nah, but the bee can't fly. She just carries the bee around.

The bee can fly. It can't. I've looked at the wing. There's no way that wing's flying again. Okay. Has she got video of it flying? I think she's holding this captive, and she's trying to gaslight the other bee. Well, how long has she had this bee for?

Because I've just Googled 28 days. Isn't it also... Is it a lifestyle? She better... That's how long they last on Earth. I know. Is that it? That's it.

The bumblebee lifespan, 28 days. Two weeks ago. Yeah, so she's got... Oh, no. I mean... Let's assume it would have been out there for a week. Yeah. God, so she's got... Oh, no. I mean, who knows? I'm assuming they've been out there for a week. Yeah. God, they must grow.

Because how big are they when they're babies, bumblebees? You never see a baby bee, a bumblebee? Yeah, when... They must grow real big, real fast. But how do they happen? Like eggs or... How does a bumblebee... I assume bumblebees are like ordinary bees.

I don't know how that happens either. Like a larvae thing. Yeah, and then it emerges out of its square, its hexagon, its comb. But then bumblebees live underground. Like in a tunnel. Yeah. They come up out of the ground.

No, they don't. Yeah, they do. Like a cic tunnel. Yeah. They come up out of the ground. No, they don't. Yeah, they do. Like a cicada. Yeah. There are some that can last a year. The bumblebee queen. There's like 250 different types.

Right. The bumblebee male lasts two weeks. Worker bumblebees, two to six weeks. Who knew? So when you see one, you're like, you're not long for this earth. No. It's like moss. All the queen does in a standard beehive is she just turns around laying eggs where there's a gap for them.

Oh, okay. Here's a picture of a bumblebee nest. A nest of red-tailed bumblebee. Yeah, it's underground. And they're like larvae. And then when they pop out, they're pretty much thetailed bumblebee. Yeah, it's underground, and they're like larvae, and then when they pop out, they're pretty much the size they'll always be. Yeah, right. So you've got a big – if it's a big bumblebee, it's come from a big mama.

Wow. Okay. Well, I thought it was a sweet story, but you've made that – turned that around, haven't you? Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn, and Megan. Today, 4 o'clock, there will be a cabinet meeting and that's when the press conference will be, 4 o'clock today. So I imagine at 1 o'clock there will just be the list.

Stats. Just some stats from the Ministry of Health. And then it will be decision day on the alert levels for outside of Auckland and Wellington. Don't get your hopes up. We're not going anywhere. We're level four for a little while, baby. Do you think outside of Auckland it'll go to three?

No. Or do you reckon they'll keep it for another few days at least at the end of the week? Got to. Yeah. Got to. And the South Island hasn't had any cases yet, but that doesn't mean someone wasn't up here at a place of interest.

It's gone back down. It's isolating down there. Look. Yeah, everyone could travel up until Thursday. Yeah. Yeah. So let's just pump the brakes on any expectations of getting out of level four. Well, life's all about managing expectations.

We say this a lot. It is. It is. We grew up with very cynical mothers, so this is what we've been dealt. But yesterday we did have a highlight at the 1pm presser. This was absolutely great. It was old Siege. Siege was up there. CJ

Hickens. The Siege. Oh, the Siege. He's the Siege. Like he's Siege warfare. The Siege! God, do you just like look at him and Ashley and the Prime Minister some days, you just think, why do they

like... Put themselves through it? Yeah, like, I'd just be like, I'm done with this. All the journos are always whinging and everyone whinging online and just be like, someone else can do this. I'd tell them to shut the fuck up. They might feel the burden of responsibility, you know?

I would refuse to answer the same question twice in the press conference afterwards. Because, you know, the journalists all want them asking the big questions of the day so they can have their little soundbite on the 6 p.m. news. But if someone's asked it and someone asks it again, please refer to the earlier answer, next question. Yeah. But they don't. No, no.

It's annoying. But anyway, the highlight yesterday was when there was talk about how with Delta's insane spreadability, getting out and exercising if you live in a more densely populated area will mean you'll cross paths with people. It becomes hard. Yeah. I mean, if you're going for a walk, you can wear a mask. Oh, I've been, when I go, because I live in the central city, I'll just wear a mask.

And it's not, I couldn't imagine running with a mask. That'd be horrible. But it'd totally well be worse dying. Yeah. But if I see people coming, I'll just, you know, give it a wide berth. Give it a wide berth. Even people running past, they'll do the same. Yeah.

Yeah. It's good. So what about getting out there and stretching the legs? This is where the problem came because this happened. Look, it is a challenge in higher density areas for people to get outside and to spread their legs. The look on Ashley

The siege! The look on Ashley Bloomfield's face was just like Oh! It was good, eh? It was like He it was like. He's made a mistake there. Because that's what people say when they're talking about sex stuff. That's the most animated we've seen.

I know. He was like, eyebrow. And then obviously at the end of the press conference, he knew. Because he paused as well. You could see it in his face. He was like, oh, what did I say? As the words came out of his mouth, he's like, it's not quite what I was after.

That doesn't sound right. Do I draw attention to it and correct myself? Or do I just move on? I'm going to be on TikTok now, aren't I? It's going to be big for me, the siege. I'm going to get a hashtag on TikTok. He did correct himself at the end of it, though. I should go and stretch my legs.

I'm sure you'll all have fun with me later. Yes, we are. Yeah, that blew up online, didn't it? Yeah. But worth it. If you haven't seen it, worth it just for the expression on Ashley Bloomfield's face. Oh, my God. So great.

From the oily ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. There are only fans banning sexually explicit content. The reason being that Credit Card Company's MasterCard and Visa have said that it doesn't align with their brands for you to be paying for this because they can't see what the content is. Amazing ethics. And I think pre-tick. Yeah, amazing ethics in the financial community.

Really high-standing morals and ethics. Yeah, I mean there's been previous explorations and surveys into the financial sex sector. The financial sector and their drugs

and sex habits. It's good they're making a stand. What about paying for premium on other websites? So they cut ties last year with Pornhub. Yeah, because do you remember that big thing last year? Yeah, when Pornhub came out and said only

we're only going to put verified stuff up and they got rid of like heaps of videos. Yeah. Everyone was like, so that was all because of Mastercard and Visa said, well, we won't be letting our services pay for that because you guys have a whole lot of stuff on here that's bad. That's bad?

Yeah, and it's good because there obviously is a lot of bad stuff on there. Totally. So then OnlyFans have said now the same has been said, so they will have to adhere to the acceptable use policy. So what, just leave your clothes on? Maybe. Everyone will just go elsewhere, right? Something else will pop up. Yeah. Dance

around. So I've got the top six other ways to make money on OnlyFans. Okay. And these are actually ways people make money on OnlyFans. Okay. Okay. Number six, ASMR. Oh, that's the sexy talking close into the microphone, isn't it? That's the relaxing. Okay. Okay. Number six, ASMR. Oh, that's the sexy talking

close into the microphone, isn't it? That's the relaxing... Yeah. People subscribe for that? People pay for it. There's someone called Gwen Swinerton. Swinerton? Yeah. She started doing it on YouTube and Instagram and got lots of followers but wasn't

making enough money to warrant full-time work. So she still does some stuff on YouTube, but now has an OnlyFans. And she said it makes her so much money. Is it Gwen Gwiz? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's got 500 subscribers. 500,000?

500,000 on YouTube. On YouTube. Does it say OnlyFans number or is that YouTube you're looking at? Sorry, this is YouTube, yeah on YouTube. No, I don't... On YouTube. Does it say OnlyFans number or is that YouTube you're looking at? Sorry, this is YouTube, yeah. Yeah. Oh, right. So this is like a taster, but if you want all the good stuff,

you've got to sign up to win one. I'm going to play this, see what it... I'll leak as well. Are you... The program. 50%. Oh. So the... Here. That's linking

That's a preview of what you can get on OnlyFans And it's She's pouring a tea It's themed right because that's the hotel thing So that was like the check in Radiant complexion That's so weird She's like pretending to do their makeup

I don't like how it gets in my ear hole I think that's why people have been enjoying Is she reading like a... That's so weird. She's like pretending to do their makeup and stuff. I don't like how it gets in my ear hole. I think that's why people have been enjoying your Friday facial, Yoga Vaughn. Because of your beautiful voice. It gets right in there. Deep in there. I should work in some sloppy sounds like you're stewing that porridge. Our number five on the list of the top six things you can still do to make money on OnlyFans are woodworking.

Actually? Yeah. Yeah. So I looked it up. I was doing research into weird things people do on OnlyFans to make money. So there's two types of woodworking. There's actually like legitimate crafts people. Yeah.

And there's other people who are still making things out of wood, but it's a bit more sexual. It's about the oiling and the rubbing. Do they pop a ball out? No balls. Oh. It's just purely woodworking. Oh, right. Yeah, it's innuendo.

Oiling the wood. Oh, right. Yeah, right. Yeah. Goodness. Just imagine it's like old mates. Yeah. Like it.

Number four on the list of the top six things you can still do to make money on OnlyFans. Mukbang. Mukbang. What's that? That is Korean for eating broadcast. And if you're a professional mukbang, you just eat heaps as much as you can, as quick as you can. I've been caught up watching some of these on Instagram. They're just wolf food, right?

Yeah, and a lot of it. And there's some big money makers on OnlyFans. Yeah. Okay. It's kind of like a little bit, what is that? ASMR. You hear them eating. Yeah, right.

Slurpy. Yeah. Maybe I could be making some money in lockdown with all this food I'm eating. Yeah. Record it. Yeah. Record it. Yeah. Totally. Number three on the list of the top six things you can do on OnlyFans to make money.

Foot stuff. No nudity required. How many times have we talked about this? Foot stuff. Well, you've got the webbed toes. We've told you it's not happening to you. No, if you've got a foot, there'll be someone who'll pay to see it. Really?

Don't yuck someone's yum. They might be. Really? Don't yuck someone's yum. They might be into it. Don't yuck someone. My foot is somebody's yum, I'll have you know. That's one man's trash is another man's treasure. Please. Don't yuck your yum. Don't you yuck my yum.

So yeah, if you've got a foot, there'll be someone out there who'll want to see it. Okay. Number two on the list of the top six things you can still do to make money on OnlyFans. This is, I couldn't obviously go too deep into this one on work Wi-Fi. Yeah. But there is an OnlyFans account where someone spanks themselves, but they're

wearing, they spank themselves of different things, they wear different materials. Yeah. And they'll like sometimes like wet spank. Okay. For example, they'll like sometimes like wet spank. Okay. For example, they'll smack, they'll put on tight leather pants. Yeah. And it's their butt

and they smack their butt with their bare hand. Yeah. Then they'll do that a couple of times. Yeah. Then they'll spank themselves with a spatula in the same leather pants. Oh, from the kitchen. Yeah. Oh no. And then they'll like wet their hand and then spank their hand. Right. And that's basically it. And people are paying for this. Now next time they're not going to wear leather pants. Oh, from the kitchen. Yeah. Oh, no. And then they'll like wet their hand and then spank their hand. Right.

And that's basically it. And the next time they're not going to wear leather pants, they'll wear some other form of pants. Oh, okay. Right. You were spanking the meat on the barbie. Yeah. Maybe you could do a meat spank.

Oh, I could do meat. I could spank my meat. Spank. And then in the end, I still get to eat the delicious barbecue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was fascinating. See, there's how that happened. It was a fascinating watch.

I put it on my Instagram. How it happened was I'd been cooking these short ribs. Yeah. And then the last part is you keep basting it in the juices that it's been cooking in. You keep basting it so the top doesn't dry out. And when I went, I put the basting thing, and I went to wipe it, and the whole thing was like, and I was like, whack.

And it went, I was like, that is unbelievable. So I started spanking it, and it just started wobbling. And I was like, shall I come and have a look at this? And I did it, and she's like, oh, my God. And then I look at the video, and she's like, don't put that online. So I did it. And she's like, oh, my God. And then I look at the video. And she's like, don't put that online. So I put it online. So if you want to see meat beans spanked. And did it go down a tree online?

Oh, yeah. Did people love it? Yes. Okay. There you go. It's your only fan. It's your only fans. It could be cooking and spanking.

Meat wobbling. Meat wobbles. Yeah. The wobbler. Meat wobbles NZ. Yes. That can be your handle. I'm not going to limit myself to just meat wobbles might be taken. Yeah. The wobbler. Meat wobbles NZ. Yes. That can be your handle. I'm not going to limit myself to just meat wobbles might be taken.

Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six things you can still do to make money on OnlyFans, there is someone who sniffs things and describes them and you can send them stuff to sniff. I know that's gross. They're going to be sniffing like, this is not the pandemic to be sniffing random strangers things in. No. Hey, I think meat wobbles is available.

Okay. Meat wobbles. Do it. Do it. Meat wobbles. That is today's top six. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan. Clay.

ZM. Vaughan's found a good. Vaughan's found a good cup. Yeah. I don't even know where this cup came from. But my rule with everything, even when we aren't in pandemic times, is absolutely blast it with the boiling water. Spoons, cups, everything.

I don't trust anybody around here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't. Even if it's just come out of the dishwasher, you give it a rinse. But look at this. You can hold this cup in your hands. It's just like a little bit chill. Someone's nice cup they've brought from home and kept on their desk

and it's got into the general cup population. Yeah. That's what's happened there. See, it's never getting back out. It's a good cup. You can from home and kept on their desk and it's got into the general cup population. Yeah. That's what's happened there. It's never getting back out. It's a good cup. You can see the cup on our live stream. We're live on Facebook, FEMZM. Join us.

I'll hold the cup. For the next few hours. For the whole of us talking now so that people are joining the broadcast. Yeah. I'll tell you where the cup's from. Kate Reid. Oh, yeah. Hug.

It's called a hug mug. It's a good mug. Wash only. Do not microwave. Hug. It's called a hug mug. It's a good mug. Hand wash only, do not microwave maiden, Jaina. Well, it's been in the dishwasher. Do not microwave. Goodness. It'll be because of the gold lettering. Oh, yeah, that's right.

There's been a sleep study done, and it has found that there is, as you'd expect in lockdown, an increase in sleep difficulties during the pandemic. It's given rise to a new term, coronasomnia. Now, almost half of the Kiwis in the recent silly sleep census, and we are silly sleep ambassadors. Uh-huh. Every time I sleep, I go, hashtag silly.

Hashtag spawn gone. Hashtag it. Hashtag spawn gone. Hashtag ad. Gifted. I have to. Otherwise the ASA will haunt my dreams. Yeah. Someone will complain. And I'll be like dragged into sleep hell with Simone Anderson.

I don't see ad. That's what they'll scream in my dreams. Almost half of the Kiwis in the recent silly sleep census reported that they've picked up a new sleep habit during lockdown, and not all of those habits have been good for overall mental health and well-being. What are they? 79% of Kiwis reported their mental health and functionality suffers

when they have a poor sleep. So, lack of energy, irritability, brain fog. Tell me. Tell me what I've done. Tell me the habits. Tell me how to avoid them. I don't want the brain fog. Well, I think it's just the experience of lockdown and, you know, the uncertainty and people just basically aren't

getting a full eight hours or they're not getting their full amount of sleep. I will admit it is hard. You've got to get out. When you're stuck at home and you're out of routine and maybe you're not getting out and going to work, the lethargy sits in. You're not doing enough.

Yeah, you've really got to exercise. If it's just walks or something, H-I-I-T. Oh, Jesus. I'm not saying hit. I refuse to call an H-I-I-T. Oh, Jesus. I'm not saying hit. I refuse to call an H-I-I-T. Hit. Hit.

Hit. Hite. Hite class. Because it's not H-I-T for hit. Yeah, it's a Hite class. So this was interesting in the sleep study. 35% of Kiwis engage with sleep techniques to assist, like, for example, apps, leaving an app on,

a mindfulness app to go to sleep, or white noise machines. Don't you have one of these for the bear bear? The bear bear. I have a really loud white noise. And because we have the monitor going, I hear it. Honestly. Does that not drive you crazy? No, it's so.

Oh, you like it? I love it. I like it. As soon as I hear crazy? No, it's so... Oh, you like it? I love it. I don't like it. As soon as I hear the white noise, I'm like... I have a friend that will leave his iPhone next to him on the table and it plays rain all the time. That just makes me want to go to the toilet. Like a YouTube rain, yeah.

Rain for me. It'll make me anxious about the washing. But you know it's fake rain. And it's night time. Why is your washing outside? Well, if I know it's fake rain, it's not going to put me to sleep. Why have you left the washing. But you know it's fake rain. And it's night time. Why should I wash it outside? Well, if I know it's fake rain, it's not going to put me to sleep. Why have you left the washing out on the line overnight? I'm lazy. I'm lazy. It got to late in the day and you can tell it was going to be damp anyway.

What about the 4-7-8 technique? This is what I do to get to sleep. What is that? You breathe in for four seconds. You hold it for seven. I'm bored with counting already. And then you exhale eight. Now, that's the hardest part. And then by the time you get to eight, are you just out?

No, no, no. You keep doing it over and over. And it's the breathing technique that, like, you know, when, like, the SAS is on a mission. They're like, we've got 45 minutes to sleep. You've seen that thing on Facebook, haven't you? The sleep technique the SAS use. Yeah.

It is. It's the four, seven, eight breathing technique. Yeah, right. And it'll put you to sleep. It is. It's the 4-7-8 breathing technique. Yeah, right. And it'll put you to sleep. It might be because you're like counting and you know how counting relaxes you, the age old counting sheep to go to sleep. But there's counting in the breathing. Yeah, right.

The slow exhale. That's what I'll do. But I don't really have trouble falling asleep. Yeah, I'm lucky my head goes on the pillow and that's what's needed. ZDM's Fletchmore and Megan. There's a new dating term. This is for something that's been around for a while. In fact, I kind of think you'd call them what we would call like a duck boy.

Okay. But it's roaching. So it describes the act of secretly dating and sleeping with multiple people. So when you're like dating someone and you're just in the early stages, you're probably well aware that they're seeing other people and, you know. There's a few people on the back element simmering away. It's not that because you know that's happening. But when it gets a bit more serious, but you haven't had the exclusive chat.

Yeah. And someone's not being fully honest with how much they're getting out and about. That's when you're being roached. So signs of roaching include. Scuttling up walls. They pull random disappearing acts where they won't be contactable for hours and days and then they'll pop back up like nothing happened. Okay.

They cancel plans with lame excuses. They're hardly ever available. They post photos of nights out that you had no idea about. They don't put in the efforts to make plans. They'll half commit to a date but won't confirm or cancel until the last minute. But you haven't had the chat though. So technically they've done nothing wrong.

We're going to roach. We're going to roach. But there's kind of like, you're seeing people. You're seeing them, right? Well, have you had that chat? No, but that's just the technicality that you have to get. This wouldn't hold up on bug spray, roach, I've got a roach. That wouldn't hold up in court, would it?

And maybe, like, you're kind of on the understanding that you've just seen each other. Not a lot of what you do would hold up in court. Is it in writing? Have you had the chat? Have you had the official chat? 100% a roach. Yes, nothing sexier than a relationship kickoff contract. We are now dating and you're not seeing anyone else, are you?

One of the signs is that they don't want to talk about exclusivity or a relationship. Shut up, Vaughn. Who isn't reading these signs? Yeah. Who's not reading these signs? That's like driving off a cliff and being like, I didn't see all the signs

that said cliff. But when we are together, they're so good to us. Like, so sweet and they reel you in and then they disappear and then they come back

and it's so nice and they really care about you and then they're gone again. Or the douchebags. They're just playing you. They've read you like a book. Yeah.

And the book is The Hungry, Hungry Caterpillar. It's an easy read book. It was the easiest book I could think to read. Yeah. It's just like, oh, day one, what's he eating? Five plums. What? Why aren't they happy?

And you put your finger through it. Yeah. And you wriggle the... Have you got one of those? Yeah. The bastion, the one that you put your finger through and you're the... No, I don't. I've got that one. What do you mean you can you got one of those? Yeah. The bastion, the one that you put your finger through and you're the... No, I don't. I've got that one.

What do you mean you can wiggly finger them now? Well, so the caterpillar, right in the middle of the book, there's a hole. And you put your finger in from the back. And now you're in charge of the hungry caterpillar. Right. And so you're like five plums. And you get your finger and you go... Next page.

Yeah. Four strawberries. And then you get... Next page. Yeah. Four strawberries. And then you get to the end and it's a butterfly and you can be like... And that's the end of the book. Right, okay. It's just... It's for little kids. Yeah.

Tiny tots. So they're like, whoa! They have no idea it's your finger. No idea. How dumb are these kids? They're stupid morons. They have no idea it's your finger. No idea. How dumb are these kids? They're stupid morons. They'd be absolutely lost without us. And yesterday the news,

I know that a lot of people have been switching off the news because they're a bit over it. That's what I found. Have you noticed that? I think at the end of last week I was doing it and you don't even know what's happening and then you're like, I'm watching this too much. Watch the 1pm presser

sign off. And that's what I did the weekend and I felt a whole lot better. Do your part. Do what you have to do but at the same time to step away from that news cycle I think is very important. You can't what did they call it? Doom scrolling? Kind of came around

last time right?? Like you just, it's not. Healthy. Yeah. And if you find some people are just, I don't know, going out of their way to stir headlines, you can avoid sites like that, that kind of thing. Just get the facts somewhere. It's hard when you're locked at home

because you feel like you can't get away from it. Are you talking opinion pieces? Yes. It's almost like, I honestly feel like opinion pieces, opinions are like assholes. Opinion pieces. Yes. It's almost like I honestly feel like opinion pieces, opinions, are like assholes. Everybody's got one. I don't need to see them.

Unless you ask. Yes. Yes. Sometimes I like to see my own. That's just a health check. Opinion and assholes. Well, you do have a lot of opinions. And one. Yes.

Just the one a-hole. Yeah. But the news as well, sign-ins are now mandatory. Now, we did, we were actually chatting to Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern last week. She said that even before this lockdown, they were about to announce, and the Cabinet had sorted out mandatory sign-ins. They were just waiting until, you know, I guess we've just kind of been settled a bit in lockdown.

Because, and this is showing, when it does re-emerge in society, it could have been here for two weeks and there's a scramble to see close contacts and everything. Yeah. So Bluetooth enabled on the COVID app still working, right? And that tells you, that can tell you if you've been close to someone who's been to the thing because Bluetooth only works over so much distance. Yeah. So that's still happening, but also mandatory scanners.

Yeah. Anywhere where there's other people. Yeah, basically. So from now on, when we're back in the world, cafes, supermarkets, when you're going now during lockdown, you're going to have to scan in, which is, I mean, it's easy. You know, you get in the habit, don't you? When you're like waiting for locations of interest and you're going now during lockdown, you're going to have to scan in, which is, I mean, it's easy. You know, you get in the habit, don't you? When you're like waiting for locations of interest and you're like,

why does it take them so long? It's because they need to properly check people who have not done the private check-in. I feel like it will be ongoing until everybody's vaccinated and the world is vaccinated and it disappears. It feels like the scan-in was a good one last time, but it feels like now there should be, businesses should be able to buy like a little dot. And when you walk in the door, you walk past the dot,

and that tells you if you've got Bluetooth enabled, it's like you're here. Do you know what I mean? Are you going to create that tech, are you? I'm bagsy. Bagsy. I'm going to make, well, are you? I'm bagsy. Bagsy. I'm going to make, well, in the meantime, millions. Scanning in.

By the way, what I just said, that was an opinion. Yeah. Am I entitled to it? Absolutely. Should I broadcast it? Who knows? I don't believe it was a controversial opinion. Do you?

No. Now I'm questioning my own opinion. I've got to pop to the bathroom and have a look in the mirror. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. We're joined on the phone by a man thriving in a level 4 lockdown because it's content. Ben from NZ Lockdown

Memes. Good morning. Morning, guys. How's it going? Are you actually thriving or are you like the rest of us and you're over it? Oh, mate. To be honest, I'm over it. Like, I can't stand lockdown. Yeah. But? Yeah, I mean, I have been busy and my phone's been going gangbusters the last few

days, so definitely occupy this for sure. What a cruel twist of fate. I know. You don't enjoy it, but it's when you've got the content for the pickings. It's ironic. It's ironic. It's ironic.

Yeah, I mean, I'm a PT, so I can't work right now. It's not ideal. I'd rather be at work making money, to be honest, and just living my life normally. But, hey. So that's what you do. You're a personal trainer when we're not in these high levels. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

PT by day and then me, Madman, by night. I think I did the other day. So that's my alter ego. Right. Outside of the gym. You probably hear this a lot, but it's quality stuff and you do so many laughs. I remember last year and just, even when we haven't been in lockdown, it's just quality memes. Entertaining the nation.

Yeah, thank you. I mean, that's the thing. People have been saying, oh, this page is relevant again, blah, blah, blah. I'm kind of like a little, not hurt by it, but I'm just like, hey, like I've just been churning out content this whole time there, you know, like, but I mean, I've thought about changing the name, but I just, I just haven't thought of anything that I could change it to. But yeah, I mean, it does, it does, it does pop off more at the moment because it's just,

I think people are just glued to their phones more. Yeah. Yeah. People are just ingesting as much screen time as they can. Yeah, that's right. How many followers, when you started, what, like 18 months ago, a year ago,

how many followers do you have now? Yeah, it's at over 84,000 now. Wow. I always said I wanted to throw a big party when it hits 100K. So hopefully if we do hit that, it sort of aligns with a good alert level and we can yeah yeah it's impossible to plan ahead too much at the moment so you haven't been tempted to

throw out any uh my food bag hello fresh food codes not yet i mean there's definitely been like opportunities not for hello fresh specifically but but just to promote certain things. But I don't, you know, I want to keep it. Anything that I do sort of promote needs to align with the brand. So I've definitely turned down offers to post about waist trainers and bullshit.

Oh, excuse my language. I know that it did hurt Vaughan's feelings with the North Shore Starter Girl Suzuki Jimny. It had a Jimny in it. Vaughan does want to the North Shore starter girl, Suzuki Jimny. It had a Jimny in it. Vaughan does want to buy a Suzuki Jimny, Ben. It's a serious four-wheel drive. Has that sort of changed

his thoughts on grabbing one? Oh, absolutely not. Well, he's a West Aucklander, so technically he's not a North Shore girl. Well, I'm a West Aucklander as well, but I actually made that North Shore starter pack, I actually made that while I was sitting at Takakuna Beach Cafe. Just looking around. Amazing.

Most of the memes are inspired by true events. I kind of look at myself. People get really upset, but actually a lot of them are just about myself. Because people do, they... They get upset because there's a twinge of truth to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, oh, yeah.

Yeah, well, some people can't laugh at themselves. But most Kiwis can, you know, that's kind of what we're good at. So do you get any hate in the inbox or any anti-vaxxers or any, like, death threats? No death threats, but definitely has been a bit of hate. Not as much as it used to be. Like, I used to, I think I used to post used to post memes that were a bit more edgy. But now I do know where the line is, but I do sometimes want to push that a little bit.

But you've kind of got to weigh up. It's basically the return on investment for a meme. You'll get a few laughs, but you'll also get accused of all sorts of other stuff in your DMs. So you've got to weigh it up.s. So you kind of wait up. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, we're enjoying it. And Helen Clark as well, former Prime Minister, shared one at the weekend too, Ben. Yeah. Yeah, she shared the one about the guy mopping up the ocean and something about us trying to eliminate the Delta variant outbreak. She's bloody, she's on the pandemic response team, isn't she? She investigated the World Health Organization's response.

Yeah, I know. At least she's got a good sense of humor. She's just stoked in level four. I mean, 660 can't play it in park. She's very pleased with that. She's going to want a peace and quiet and nothing. Yeah, oh my God. It's back to the good old days.

It is. Ben from NZ Lockdown Memes. I know it's hard during lockdown, but yeah, you're really keeping us entertained. Thank you so much, mate. Sweet, you're welcome, guys. Thanks for following. Stepping up to the podium for the 10th year of Nauru.

Your gold medalist. Where's my medal? Oh, guys, remember the Olympics? Oh, that was... a bit of fun. The Paralympics. I know. The Paralympics kicking off. Tomorrow.

I saw the Paralympians on the news gearing up for that. On TVNZ Duke. Duke. You can watch it. Cool. Huh? I said cool. Was it a sarcastic cool?

Yeah, it sounded like a sarcastic cool. No, it wasn't a sarcastic cool. It was kind of tailed off and made it sound like a sarcastic call? Yeah, it sounded like a sarcastic call. No, it wasn't a sarcastic call. It was kind of tailed off and made it sound like a sarcastic call. After the Paralympics is the Steroidlympics, where they let you take as many steroids as you want. That would be great. I feel like you said that last time too, and we were like, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, I'm so keen for it.

I reckon they should just let it happen. I'd love to see after that the Ballot Olympics, where they just pull your name from a ballot and you have to do whatever sport it comes. That is my nightmare. Vaughan Smith doing the 10-meter platform, diving, New Zealand. And then you just have all these people bombing.

It'd be so... Like imagine trying to see people doing hurdles and velodrome. It'd be so great. And if they pick me up, they're like, and participating for New Zealand in the 10 metre, Vaughan Smith. I'd be like, someone volunteer as tribute. Someone volunteer as tribute.

It'd be like getting drafted for the war. You'd be like, I've got bone spurs. It would be so great watching like any of the horse riding. Yeah. Get on a horse. Jump this thing, I mean. See, these are the Olympics I would be absolutely glued to. People just absolutely munting themselves.

So right now it's time for the lockdown edition of Where's My Medal, where we celebrate those small achievements in life. Angie, good morning. Morning. How's your lockdown going? Not too bad. Okay. All right, what's the small achievement that you'd like us to recognise?

I got out of bed in time for the 1pm lockdown yesterday. The briefing. Oh, fantastic. Do you know, I've noticed, I don't know if this is sad or not, but the amount of people that have, because I live in the city and see everyone else's apartments, the amount of people that still have their curtains closed, like all their lounge and bedrooms

at like mid-afternoon is quite worrying. Which is still day. It's not a good sign. There's nowhere to go for once. I know. Are you in bed now? No, I've got work in half an hour.

I had to get up this morning. Are you essential? Are you going into work or are you online, like Zoomies and stuff? Online, yeah. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. All right, Angie, wait there. Medal ceremony just moments away. Helena, what small achievement in lockdown would you like us to recognise?

I exercised immense self-control and didn't eat an entire packet of sitting in one sitting. And Tim Tam, sorry, I ate it over the day instead. You ate one packet of Tim Tam spread over one day. Exactly. How did you do that? Oh, self-control. Not normally my strong point, but I was like, lockdown, be good, be good. Do you know what?

I actually suffered a chocolate injury at the weekend. Go on. So I was breaking off the row and my thumb went through it and the nail, see it's a bit sore there. It got pushed up a little bit. The chocolate went up under the nail. It separated the skin from the nail. It's so sore.

I know. Oh my God, are you okay? What chocolate was it? It was so sore. I know. Oh my God, are you okay? What chocolate was it? How can it hurt you sometimes? It was Milky Bar. The things we love the most hurt us the most. They do, they do.

Right, Helena, great effort. Wait there, we'll have the medal ceremony next. Moana, good morning. Good morning. Happy level four. You sound good for a level four.

Oh, well, I'm not sure if I'm that good. I've just pulled up to work. Lockdown's over for me. Oh, okay. All right, so what would you like us to recognise? What small achievement in lockdown? I didn't have a wine before 3pm.

Oh, I thought... Yes! I had a one o'clock press conference wine on Saturday. Thank you. And then a Zoom with my friends. And God, I was absolutely wasted by the end of it. I showed my laptop and I was like, I'm not well. She needed a lie down.

Because I did some grapefruit mimosas because you gave me a lot of grapefruit Vaughan, so I was like, I wonder if this would be a good substitute for orange. It was delicious. Careful, it can affect the pill. Yes. Well, luckily I'm in lockdown,

so I'm not having a baby, am I? Seeing anyone. I've got bad news for you if you think you're having a baby out of lockdown. You lack. I know. The factory, if you will.

The factory, right. But I think the workers is a problem. Well, then you've got a line of workers ready to punch in. You know, the card. Punch in there. A lot of practising. It's a biometric fingerprint.

You've got an empty warehouse. No machinery. It's a big warehouse, though. You could look into storage. Moving on to our medal ceremony now. Wrongs, silver and gold. Oh, he's out. You've really tickled yourself.

He likes his own analogy too much, doesn't he? Come on, mate. Oh, shit. I'm having fun. We'll find out today at four o'clock if the factory's open. I can't take you seriously with that massage, too. The factory's not open. The factory's not open.

I haven't written anything down here Hold on let me see that This is what you This is what you don't see at the Olympics What do you think the diving judges are doing? They're always like You guys happy with that? Yeah Small We're on paper restrictions here at work So I just used a spare bit of this You guys happy with that? Yeah.

Small. We're on paper restrictions here at work, so I just used a spare bit of this sheet. In bronze place, third place, the recipient of our imaginary bronze medal for resisting slamming all of the Tim Tams in one sitting. Take your time spreading them over the day. Helena, congratulations. Yes!

Congratulations, Helena. Helena, we said congratulations! Thank you so much. Biggest achievement of my life so far. Oh, that's lovely. Enjoy the rest of your lockdown. Good luck with the Tim Tams. Silver medal

for getting out of bed for the 1pm press up. Today she could have slept until 4. But she's got work to do on Zoom. Angie, today's silver medal recipient. Congratulations. Yes. Thank you. Well done, Angie.

And that means for her services to her liver by giving it until 3 p.m. Oh, it's ladies' hours. A gold medal must go to Moana for not drinking a wine before 3 p.m. despite the fact. Why not? Why not? Yeah. Why not?

Why not have a lunch time one? It's also my birthday today. Happy lockdown birthday. Yay. I know. And you've got to work because you're an essential worker. Yes, only until one. So I'm probably going to have a wine before 3pm today.

Yes. So you celebrate. Congratulations, Moana. Happy birthday. What are you? You're a Virgo, are you? I'm on the castusp, the Leo Virgo. Oh, wow. Probably more a Leo.

You know what they say about those Virgo Leo cusps? What? What do they say? They'll never drink. Am I a bad person? Wow, this is a lockdown conundrum and we need you to tell us if this person is a bad person

for the situation they find themselves in. This is interesting. Hey team, I have a problem that I'm hoping you'll be able to give me some advice on. We will try. I have been in a relationship with my partner for nearly a year now, and I love him to bits.

We don't live together yet. So when the news of this recent lockdown came, I suggested we quarantine together at one of our flats. Okay. Problem is that my boyfriend said he didn't want to because we would both be working from home and we wouldn't have that much time to hang out anyway. What, other than the...

I'm just every other time of the day that's not work. All the rest of the hours in the day. But it carries on. But I think it would still be nice to be together over the weekend, share dinners, et cetera, of course. Am I a bad person for being mad at him for not wanting to lock down with me? Absolutely not. I don't think that's a big question here.

I don't think he's that into you. Yeah, why? You're too much to hang out with. You're a bit much, yeah. You're too much to hang out with that long, that often. Yeah. Do you think if you're finding yourself in this position, like you wouldn't want to lock down with a partner,

isn't that a good sign that after this you should probably not be together? They've been together for a year. So that's long enough to be like, oh, we need to see if we can spend this much time together after a year, right? Yeah. But, yeah, maybe. I would be mad.

I'd be like, why don't you want to? But then we also don't, I think we all knew going into this that this isn't a short lockdown. This could be a long time. But exactly. When are you next going to see each other? It was ancient Greek philosophers, L.M.N.O.P.

that said, absence makes the heart grow fonder. But I doubt it. I really doubt it. Yeah. But, you know, some people do say that. Spend some time apart.

Would have been a situation with lots of people because you're in relationships but you're not necessarily living together. It is an intense amount of time to spend with people. He might not have liked your flatmates or his flatmates might not like you. Yeah, that's

the other thing. He might be totally fine with you but the flatmates come into it. Maybe the flatmates were like, no way and he was trying to soften the blow and be like, oh no, we're working. Carwine at the social media desk. How long have you been with your boyfriend for? About six months. Okay.

And then when lockdown happened, were you guys like, should we stay at one of our flats? We didn't even talk about it. And I'm just realising that now that we didn't even talk about it. So you just, you stayed at your place, he stayed at his. There was no conversation. No. He didn't even talk about it. So you just, you stayed at your place, he stayed at his. There was no conversation. No. He didn't even hint saying...

No. We're both essential workers and his whole flat are also essential workers. So maybe it would have been unsafe anyway. That's weird that you didn't talk about it. Do you find it's weird that you didn't talk about it? I'm now just like, oh. But then, yeah.

I mean, it sounds like you're both on the same page. Yeah, I don't mind. You don't mind. No, I'm not mad about it. Producer Jared, you moved in with your girlfriend 10 hours after you met her. I'm imagining you guys are having a baby this lockdown, right? Yeah, we're six months due. Right.

But I mean, yeah, you lived together, so it wasn't even a discussion. Yeah. This is your first lockdown though, right? Yeah, first lockdown together. How are we going? Yeah, so it wasn't even a discussion. Yeah. This is your first lockdown, though, right? Yeah. Together? Yeah, first lockdown together. How are we going? Yeah, how's that going?

Really good. The mini made cannelloni last night. Oh, my God, we had cannelloni last night. Twinning. Cute. Yeah, no, we're having a blast. Having a blast. Just going to throw up in my cup here.

Okay, well, we need to take your calls and your texts on this. What do you think? Maybe you've been in this situation. You find yourself in this situation. You've got some sage words of advice. There's a few comments on the live stream already that, ooh, maybe he's just not keen. Am I a bad person? Well, am I a bad person?

A lockdown conundrum for a listener. Hey, team. So I've been in a relationship with my partner for nearly a year. Love him to bits. They don't live together yet. So when news of the recent lockdown came, I did suggest we quarantine together at one of our flats. He didn't want to because he said we'd be working from home.

We wouldn't have that much time to spend together. So she wants to know, am I a bad person for being mad at him for not wanting to lock down with me? Not a good sign, though. But then, like you said, Morn, it could be the flatmates might not like her. Yep, that's a political decision. Yeah, or the flatmates might just be like, look, this is our lockdown for the flat.

We're all here. One more might be too much. Yeah, that's another thing. They might not have been the room for them. She might not pay any extra for the shower and, you know, the heating. We don't know the history. We don't. So what do you think? Is she a bad person, Shannara? What do you think? No, she's definitely not a bad

person. I would be the same. Do you think that he's into her or is this a bad sign or is it just lockdown for the flat? It could be lots of different things because my partner tried pulling the same thing and saying he wasn't going to do lockdown with me.

I turned around and I said, no, that's not on. my partner tried pulling the same thing and saying he wasn't going to do lockdown with me. But I turned around and I said, no, that's not on. So you just went around and said, it's happening. Oh, no, it was just via text. But he was worried about leaving his flatmate by himself. And I was like, who cares? He can get his girlfriend around.

It'll be great. And sure enough, that's what happened. Yeah, nice. Okay. All right. Good. All right. Thanks sure enough, that's what happens. Yeah, nice. Okay. Alright. No, good. Alright. Thanks, you cool, Shannara. Harry, what do you think? Yeah, no, good. Yep. Take the man's decision and completely throw it in his face. Good, good. Harry, what do you think? I reckon they just need to have a little

talk. Is this Prince Harry? You know. You know, he might have some genuine reason. Yeah. Yeah. Like, well, now they're not locking down together, are they? You can't be annoyed.

Yeah, I think if he was living by himself, maybe you'd be questioning it. I think it's just the excuse. It sounds like an excuse, you know? You'd be better off telling her the real reason, I think. And then she's getting all worried and wound up and might not be necessary. Harry, thanks. You called

some messages in. Any man that purposely didn't want to have lockdown with his partner should get the sack. LOLs. Yeah. She's probably the type doing crafts or some annoying stuff in her spare time. So, you know, don't need that around. She should be upset and has the right

to be upset. My partner and I would be more than happy to lock down together, but we have our own limitations to do that. Oh, that sounds like a story for another date. Am I a bad person one day? My boyfriend wanted to spend lockdown with me, but I don't think my wife would agree. Oh, okay.

Ayo. Scandal. You never know. Bit to unpack there. Yeah. Bit to unpack there. I feel like we need to know more about that situation. Yeah, I know a lot of these are stories for another day, right?

Someone said that my partner said they wanted to spend lockdown at their own flat. I was so relieved because I was about to suggest the same thing. Just got more space. Yeah. More space. So that's, you know, some people. It's like people who are together for ages and never live together. Yeah, that's wild. They just enjoy their own space.

Yeah. Have their own place to get away to. Separate bedrooms. Yeah. Totally, that works. Okay. So, nah, people don't think they're bad have a chat have a have a chat have a chat let them know you're uh upset but i mean there's nothing you can do now cdm's fledge one and megan fact of the day is about why the burpee is called the burpee. Oh, God, I hate burpees. Yeah, they're horrible.

Everyone hates burpees. But they're a great exercise, aren't they? The whole body. The work of the whole body. Because when you do it, it would make you burp. And you go, like you're going to spew.

That was disgusting. I just pumped a little burp out. I can burp on command. Watch this. So can I, but I won't. I can't do that. I can pump so much air down there, it gets trapped and you can feel it

and then you get this really long, sweet release. You are disgusting, Megan. I thought everyone can do that, can't they? Do you want me to pump air down and then we'll do it back in a day and then it will come out later? Yeah. You've said it now. It hurts, but I'll do it.

Oh, okay, I'll get your metal lined up. See if you can hear it going down. Hold on. Now I've got to swallow it Can you hear that going down? I did hear that That is disgusting So you swallow air and you pump it up And then later on it'll just escape

Out of your, which one? The mouth? Mouth, oh yep Yeah If you keep pumping it though You do get a bit gassy I'll do another I'll just pump some more

That is wild Okay, you're disgusting Keep pumping it, though. You do get a bit gassy. I'll do another. I'll just pump some more. That is wild. Okay, you're disgusting. So the. Oh, yeah, I can feel it sitting there now. That's going to sit for a bit. This is gross, but I mean, come on. We're in lockdown.

Yeah. Right off to that. It is named after the man who invented it. Royal H. Burpee was a physiologist. That's actually a last name. Yeah, B-U-R-P-E-E. Wait, was his first name Royal? Yes, and his middle name was H, but I don't know what.

Royal Burpee. John Burpee. He wrote a thesis about the burpee. Royal Burpee. Oh, my God, I just searched a common name, John, and then last name Burpee, and there's like 10 on Facebook. Right. John Burpee.

I can't believe his name was Royal Burpee. So there's only two original copies of his thesis on the burpees. Oh, no. No more. No more. That wasn't the main event. That wasn't the main event. No no. No more. That wasn't the main event. That wasn't the main event. That was just a little bit that snuck out. I forgot.

I forgot that you did that and I was like are you kidding me? I taught myself to do this. Do you remember Animaniacs? If someone and Wacko would burp a song

and it was so gross but I loved Animaniacs so much. If somebody just tuned in and missed the whole set up to that to the burp they'd be absolutely appalled. Oh I can feel itiac so much. If somebody had just tuned in and missed the whole set up to that, to the burp, they'd be absolutely appalled. Oh, I can feel it.

Don't. I'll go off mic a bit because that was pretty full on. That was disgusting. It kind of snuck up on me. So his granddaughter, Cheryl Burpee, has the remaining copies of his thesis he wrote about the burpees. Cheryl Burpee. No, no, no.

That's too good. Why is that? Why are we laughing at Cheryl Burpee? I don no, no. That's too good. What are we laughing at, Cheryl Burpee? I don't know, it's just so funny. But imagine me, Cheryl Burpee, you'd be like, oh, what's your name? Cheryl. What's your last name? Burpee, B-U-R-P-E-E. Oh, like the exercise. You'd be like, yes, my grandfather invented them. Like, you'd never believe that. No one would believe

that, no. Oh, seriously. I'm actually a little disappointed in myself that it all hasn't come out as one big one. Are you done? No more. No. You asked for this.

More. I said, are you sure? And you said yes. And there's audio proof that you were requested. I think I said yes. I don't think he did. I didn't say yes. And I regret it now.

I don't believe I said yes. That's a good little sub fact there. Producer Jarrah's just sent through. 48% of people can burp at will. Like make themselves burp real quick. I'm not. I must be in that minority. What's the majority?

That and I can't roll my tongue. It is a majority. You're right. Yeah, so you're a tongue roller. That's a gene thing. Yeah. Oh, so is Vaughn. Oh, you can't whistle.

You're just, what can you do? Not much. Not much. So Cheryl said that the movement her grandfather invented has been known as a squat thrust, a four-count burpee, the leaning front rest, and a military burpee over time. Okay. But the original exercise was squat down and place both hands on the floor in front of you, jump feet back into plank position,

feet forward, return to standing, clap. What do they call it at F45? I don't know. Surely just burpees. Just a burpee, yeah. Everybody knows what the burpees is, right? Yeah. So, yeah.

Today's fact of the day is the reason it's called a burpee is because the man that invented it was Royal H. Burpee. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yes, it's the return of Motorway Mates. We first developed and came up with this idea, this game, when the Auckland Harbour Bridge got a ding. Do you remember that? And they just shut it for a while and they got it down to one lane each way and people crawling in traffic. And it's a super easy game and we thought, well, heck, with a load of people waiting in COVID testing lines around the country.

We can bring them back. I mean, it's technically not motorway, mate. COVID queue. COVID queue, mate. Chums. Cuties. COVID queue. The guy that makes the intro things,

he's not here because... So this will do. This will do. This will do. Now, joining us, four motorway mates. Rebecca, good morning. Good morning. You're currently in a COVID testing queue?

We are. We're currently car number four at the moment. Oh, that's good. Yeah, getting close. What testing station yet? Westgate Medical Centre. Okay. Now, do you have any symptoms

or were you at a place of interest? Oh, we got told yesterday because we went to the Royal New Zealand Ballet that we need to come along and get a test. Oh, no. In the queue. One of the balleters. COVID-y.

Yeah, I'm not sure. They wouldn't tell us who, so hopefully not. Now, this is... I should ask them. I'll just write down their number for you. Now, Rebecca, this is how Motorway Mates work. We have to successfully guess the colour of the car in front of you

and the colour of the car behind you for you to win $100 cash. Okay. Now, let's start with the car behind you and your rear view. What kind of car is it?

It's the car behind us. It's like a SUV kind of car. I'm going black. Now, don't tell us you, Rebecca, but I'm going to lock in black. Black SUVs. Always black. They're a winner. Absolute winner. I'm going to go black too. No, I thought we were

hedging our bets. We've got to pick a different one. Gold. No one has a gold SUV. No, there's like Mitsubishi ones. Is there? I couldn't... Gold. I'm just thinking like a Mitsubishi. No one has a gold SUV. No, there's like Mitsubishi ones. Is there? Well, I couldn't do black. All right.

I'm going to go white. Have we successfully guessed the colour of the car behind you, Rebecca? Yes. Oh, what colour is it? Is it gold? It's white behind me. Yay! Yay!

Yay! There we go. All right, so we now need to guess the car in front of you. What kind of car is it? It's a Corolla in front of me. Silver. Yeah, they have a silver roll. I'd say I'm going to double down on white.

Yeah, I was going to say white as well. White Corolla. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Oh, maybe I'll go say white as well. White Corolla. Oh, maybe I'll go maroon or red. Silver. Okay, what colour is the car in front of you, Rebecca? Oh, it's like a grey-silver colour. Yay!

Yay! Megan gets it. Well, that was easy. That was good. We are going to need photographic proof, though, because you could just be lying, couldn't you? Yeah, what if you're not lying? That would be terrible. No, no, not lying about them.

Are we going to do the bonus round? The colour of her car. Oh, what do you win for the bonus round? Nothing. Nothing. Just pride. What kind of car do you drive? I drive a Kia Sportage.

Oh, red. Red. Like a maroon-y red. Yeah. Oh, red. Red. Like a maroony red. Black. White. White. Yeah, I realise. Megan's going white.

White. It's red. Fletcher! That's right! Fletcher! Kia's, they're always red, aren't they? There we go. Well, that was easy.

I kind of like when we get it wrong heaps of times. It's more fun, isn't it? But congratulations, Rebecca. We have $100 for you for motorway mates in the COVID queue. Hopefully they don't stick it up too far. Yeah, hopefully. Thank you. How close are you now?

Oh, we're one ahead of us as getting the details taken. Yes! Yes, we're almost there now. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Um, I forgot that it was me. There is a study that has revealed that three quarters of This Is American employees now just want to work from home forever.

Really? We've always been here in our little bubble, so we've never had the opportunity to try it out. But I feel like the novelty would wear off, right? Yeah, and we don't have jobs that suit working from home. You've got to be, like, together, right, to bounce. Like, shows have done it in the past. Like, what are you talking about?

What? What are you doing? I was trying to make an example of how even though we're in person, you're not getting your point across very well. And you just said we had to be here in person. We do have to be. To get your point across. Yeah.

So 72% of employees even went so far as to say they would not even consider working for a company if they didn't offer flexible working. 71% said they didn't miss the full-time office setting at all. Power to the people. Yeah. Give the people what they want. I mean, if you just...

What about your mates at work? But if you're just dealing with boring spreadsheets, do it from home and half the time. Yeah. And then, you know, you've got time in the afternoon to jam. I mean, they'll probably check in on you, but... 36% of employees said that their job did become more difficult when they

were working remotely from home right workmates it's not the same as just getting an email yeah but some people don't like their workmates we've got great workmates because

everyone's you know cool office this quite like chat yeah go to some places and it's very quiet oh it's horrible you see some like upstairs yeah and everyone's really quiet

and you're just like yeah but it was it Google or. You see some offices. Like upstairs. Yeah, and everyone's really quiet and you're just like, oh. But was it Google or some offices in America? They're saying if you're going to stay at home, you're getting paid less. Why? Yeah, because they don't have to pay for transport or something. So they live at home so they don't have to come into work. Right. So they're like, you can get paid less.

Maybe they were people that were getting like a benefit of transport or something. Right. Because transport has always been factored in when they thought about paying you. But it might have been at this office. It might have been, yeah. It might have been like you, if you were travelling, you get a... I don't buy it. Yeah.

You get a percentage. Right. Yeah. But then what's the productivity? But then that's the thing. If you're getting it done, if you're getting all your work done, who cares how long it's taking? They're paying you to get the work done, right?

Or what hours you're doing it. Yeah. That's a good thing too because some people feel like they're more productive in the evenings, but then that's not nine to five office hours. So then if they're working from home, they can do all their work in the evening when it suits. Did we just solve a problem? I think so. Have we just solve a problem? I think so.

Have we just become employment consultants? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, there's a Huffington. That was easy. Huffington posted a story a week ago. Can employers dock your pay for working from home? And did they say yes? A number of US companies have made pay adjustments. Here are your rights in the UK.

So I don't know if you're probably not in New Zealand, but you're crazy. Huh. Good Lord. They should be paying you more, if anything, because you're using your own power and your own coffee and your own, any perk you get at work, you're paying for at home.

They should be giving you a little boost because you're costing the company less. Yeah, you'd think that would be the case. Your own paper, your printing. I mean, definitely if you're going to work for me. Oh, go, steal a room of paper. Steal a whole printer.