ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 23rd July 2020

Episode Date: July 22, 2020

Baby Luci  Wellington is Official  You should scream  Chantelle Otten: Bumble Sexologist  Why did you Ghost someone?  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name  How obsessed with One Direction are/were you?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fleeche Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Grab yourself a delicious barista made coffee for only $4 at McCafe. And what a podcast you're in for. What a treat. I don't want to spoil anything, but soggy bits. Oh, that's taken out of context, Your Honour. Soggy bits coming up on the podcast. That's wow-way. You've done the long tease there. I've done the long tease, yeah, right at the end there. Well, it happened at The last part of the show Yeah

Presumably Now they're going to Stick around aren't they It'll be the last part Of the podcast Or I'd just fast forward For the soggy bits I'm just talking to people

I put a post up On Instagram last night Saying And you maybe mentioned The show and this podcast That Sade's gone back To do some uni stuff And people are like

Oh mature student. Tell her not to ask too many questions at the end when we all want to leave. So I've been getting all these people saying, oh, don't let her. And apparently mature students always say, no, I don't want to keep everybody for long, but just one thing.

And then they ask a series of things. That keeps people for longer. I'm just noting down all the things. I don't think we should call them mature students. It feels targeted. And I just think if I was there, I wouldn't want to be called a mature student. Sunny, Sade is the same age as the mature student was that we had at broadcasting school. Is she?

Yeah. We had a mature student younger than her. At broadcasting school? Wow. Because that's the thing. Some people have messaged me. Keith Quinn. Was it Keith Quinn? Excuse me. John McBe Wow. Because that's the thing. Some people have messaged me. Keith Quinn. Was it Keith Quinn?

Excuse me. John McBeth. He was just brushing up. Those guys are going back. Yeah. They're like, we hear Sky Sports not going to have the rugby and we might be out of a job. Keith Quinn's like, I'm selling funeral packages on the side. And John McBeth's like, well, no one told me.

This whole rift is going to be lost on everybody that's young and not from New Zealand they are rugby commentators and famous

very well known broadcasters they are fantastic if you're not young well enjoy the podcast ah

what was that I don't know ZM head music lives here. Flesh, fawn and Megan. The podcast. Had to hang my jersey up to dry.

You've done your washing at work. It doesn't look like I've done my washing at work. You draped your jersey over a chair. Oh, I got caught in the rain on my scooter on the way to work this morning. Do you like pina coladas? Never mind. I got it. This time of the morning.

I got it, but this time of the morning, too much. Maybe a pineapple juice. Pineapple juice? Yum. That's a breakfast juice. How good would that be right now? Like a nice, freshly squeezed pineapple juice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think my ultimate... Like one of those big steel things where you drop the pineapple on the top and it goes... The ultimate breakfast juice is grapefruit. That's the ultimate breakfast juice. I keep forgetting I've got three grapefruit trees that I... Can you set a Siri to remind

Vaughn to bring them in tomorrow? Because tomorrow's Friday. Is it grapefruit time? Tomorrow's Friday. What time of the year are grapefruit? I think now, yeah, it's winter. Yeah, I love citrus all being like, hey, it's winter. Get us in here. No, but I like that because there's no other fruits available,

so citrus comes to the party. They very much feel like it should be like an orange, like they always talk about oranges growing in really sunny places. And then they come out in winter. Yeah, that's true. That's odd, out in winter. Yeah, that's true. That's odd, isn't it? Yeah, that's silly. But that's why I've got so many mandarins to eat today.

Because it's Mandy season. Yeah, great. Right. Okay, you set a reminder. What time of the year are grapefruit ripe? Oh, I mean you set a reminder to tell him. Because I don't trust him with his reminders. Yeah.

Between midwinter and spring. See, is it still a smidge early? Because I remember last year you guys were like when I brought a grapefruit in too early. You were like, you know when you're into citrus and it's not ready and you're like. Bring an animal, try it. Okay. Okay. Okay. Who put this on my

microphone? Oh, that's my thing. Yeah. Somebody asked me the other day why I got a flash microphone. You got a sock and a pop sock. I got a pop sock on it because I've got terrible microphone technique. The top six is coming up. Yeah, look. This political landscape is in disarray.

Yeah. A whole lot of things they're doing. They need to fill a few seats. You probably forgot, because it was like five scandals ago, that Nikki Kaye is not standing for the Auckland Central seat. Yep, she left. Yeah, you've got Chloe Swarbrick. She's probably the other big name involved in Auckland Central.

Yep. No offence, but I hadn't heard of the person that Labour was putting forward. And that's probably more on me. If you're into your politics and that's your local MP, you probably know. But I've got the top six on-the-ground replacements for Nikki Kaye in central Auckland. Okay.

Okay. Are you going to do, like, each electorate every day? Work my way through. Yeah, because at the moment there's quite a few vacancies. That's actually a great idea for a top six because sometimes it's hard coming up with a different thing to do every day. We could just literally do, like, something to do with the political scandal that happened the day before.

This kind of story comes around every now and then. This is from the UK. A couple wanted to call their son Lucifer. The devil. Yeah, we know that that means the devil. And I think they do too, but they went to register the name and the woman at the office said, no, you can't call your son that. Teachers won't want to teach it and it's going to be mocked

and it's the devil. Yeah. Now, that's where they said they're not religious people and Lucifer in Greek means light bringer and morning. Yeah. So are they the morning star, Venus at dawn, personified as a male figure bearing a torch? Okay, so that's quite a good name then

if you didn't know the rest of it. Yeah. But like knowing the rest of it and then a lot of countries, Lucifer doesn't mean that. Like imagine going travelling. You hand your passport over to the guy at the kiosk and he's like, huh? So the woman in the UK actually said,

you know that in New Zealand that's illegal to call your child that. And they were like, well, we're not in New Zealand that's illegal to call your child that. And they were like, well, we're not in New Zealand. So eventually the woman gave in and so the child is called Lucifer. So what one person decides Yeah, well I guess it's not

illegal. So the one person going through the motions was just expressing her personal concern to it and then eventually gave in. Was it a Kiwi doing the OE? Yeah, I don't know.

Is that why she said it's illegal in New Zealand? It's illegal in New Zealand, yeah. Because I would have thought most countries like ours have a list that says these are the names you definitely can't call your kids.

Well, we have a list of illegal names. Yep. But I don't know if that's the case in the UK. Yeah, right. So the person said, I apologise if you're offended,

but it's the job of our registrars to advise in these matters as sometimes people aren't aware of certain meanings or associations around certain names.

So I guess they're allowed to advise, but they can't say you can't, you know, once you've advised them and they still want it. And it might be alright

if you're growing up in Greece and everybody knows that's what it means. But if you're not and and they still want it. And it might be all right if you're growing up in Greece and everybody knows that's what it means. But if you're not and you're in the UK, you're just going to get teased. Your kid's going to get a relentless teasing for life. And if it's not teasing, it'll be constant questions. When you're naming a kid, there's so much to think about. Yeah. Like?

Through the rhyming test. Yeah, you check the rhyming test in. If it can be swapped out. Yep. Sounds like a word, not necessarily rhymes with it. Yeah. Can it be belched? All these things are really important.

My middle name's Louise and I've still got... Wheeze. Wheeze. Yeah, that's classic. Meggie Wheeze, Wheeze of Cairns. Meggie Wheeze, yeah. I mean, they'll find a way. I just think even if someone just brought it to your attention,

if you wanted to call your kid Linda. Yeah. I went with Linda because I don't believe there'd be too many young Lindas. Lindas listening right now. Some old Lindas. Well, you know there's a Linda listening now that's like, all right, come on then. Bring it.

Also, Lindas should count themselves very lucky because they could have been Karens. Yeah. Linda, I would say, is two or three places behind Karen in names of middle-aged women who make complaints to management. Same generation. Yeah. Linda and Karen.

Linda and Karens could totally have been one or the other. So I'm going to name my kid Linda. And then someone's like, do you know in Russia, Linda is the most offensive swear word there is. It's not. one or the other. So I'm going to name my kid Linda. And then someone's like, do you know in Russia, Linda is the most offensive swear word there is. It's not. It's a C-bomb in Russia. Yeah, yeah.

Imagine, yeah, it's a C-bomb in Russia. And you're like, oh my God. That would change my mind because then you imagine Linda is going to Moscow and she touches down and she's like, oh my God, Moscow, I've always wanted to, the architecture, the people, the history. Linda goes out with a Russian man. The red square, I was trying to think of the name

of that architecture. Yeah, the name escapes me. Yeah, I know it's got a specific name, that Russian architecture, red square and that, with the pointy, like the ace of spades shape, but it's on top of a column that's got a specific type of name. Anyway, Linda touches down there and they're like welcome! And what's

your name? She's like, Linda! And they're all like I don't know, that crosses my mind. Linda! Can't say that in public! Then she gets kicked out of Moscow without getting a tour of the Red Square and getting to see Lenin's body.

Yeah. Did you find the name of that architecture? God damn it, that's going to be rattling around inside my head all day. Oh, I googled the type of buildings there. I don't know if I care too much. No. I know what you mean. care too much. No. I know what you mean.

It's in my head. It's just Russian, isn't it? Just say Russian. I didn't know it was heavily influenced by the Byzantine. Byzantine, am I saying that right? I only see that written down, the Byzantine Empire. Because they were on Age of Empires, the game. You could play the Byzantine Empire.

Right, okay. Right. Is that most of your history knowledge? Age of Empires? the game, you could play the Byzantine Empire. Right, okay. Right. Is that most of your history knowledge? Age of Empires? Yeah. A lot. Yeah. I mean, if you ever go on the chase, you better hope that any history questions are about the Byzantine.

I hope they don't ask me to say it. Okay, the shape of the dome is based on an onion. It does look like an onion. The onion dome. That's what they call them, the onion domes. And they kind of have the stripes like an onion. It does look like an onion. The onion dime. That's what they call them, the onion dimes. And they kind of have the stripes like an onion, don't they? Aren't we learning about architecture?

Who needs six years at uni to learn architecture? Not us. We just need to Google and a few keywords. Next on the show, a guy's in trouble for helping out his homies.

He just wanted to help out his homies and it's landed him in trouble with the police. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan the podcast. A man in the UK US

is in trouble. He was I find that what? There's two major superpowers that both go by initials. The U

Yeah. Which are two and both start with U. Yeah. U-S-U-K. And used to be U-S-S-R too, didn't it? Yes, it did. And Uganda.

There's lots. Lots of superpowers. Uganda the superpower. In the U.S., in Utah, a man was spotted at Walmart at one of those, you know how you can go to warehouse stationery,

and I think, who else does the photo printing? Harvey Norman, can you do it there? They print our photos. And you put your USB in. And you're like, I'll just print this one, this one, this one and I'll make a collage in my room on the wall. You can have matte or gloss.

Like white borders. Is scrapbooking still quite big? Yeah. It is. I think they've got a resurgence, didn't they? During lockdown? I'm into like Spotlight or Warehouse Stationery, more Spotlight. There's like scrapbooking's still quite big. Yeah. It is. I think that got a resurgence, didn't it? During lockdown? Maybe into like Spotlight or Warehouse Station. More Spotlight. There's like scrapbooking aisles. Oh, okay. Wow, really?

Yeah. Okay. Have you got one? Nah. You recently went and printed out a photo of you and Mr. Toyboy, didn't you? Got your portrait printed out. Well, this guy was doing the same thing, so he put his USB in. And that's when somebody spotted him printing out

pornographic images of ladies. Okay. And, I mean, I don't know why you would need to do this, right? Like, look at it on your phone, on your laptop, or your computer, whatever. He was tracked down using CCTV

footage, and was arrested earlier this week. And they said, look, what were you doing? You can't be your computer, whatever. He was tracked down using CCTV footage and was arrested earlier this week. And they said, look, what were you doing? You can't be printing out porno at the, you know, chaos. And he's like, oh, I'm just trying to help my homies out. He was going to give them to his homies in prison. Wow. Are you allowed to just drop off some porn to prison?

Well, I don't know. The quote saying, send it to the homies some porn to prison. Well, I don't know. The quote saying, send it to the homies who were locked up. So I'm guessing he just wanted to, yeah. Why wouldn't you be allowed to? It's just a piece of paper. But I wondered if it would be a sort of imagery that might cause

like, one guy's got a piece of paper with a nudie on it, and another guy's like, give me that. And then he's like, it's mine. And then you could swap it for a Snickers bar. You could do that with noodles. I want noodles.

Give me that. Shank. That would be something I'd do in prison. I'd lose my porno. Shank someone for noodles. No, I'd lose my porno prison for noodles. And then I'd eat the noodles and it'd be like, oh, I wish I had the porno picture again.

Bad foresight. Yeah. But in the story... And then some dude's like, learn it to me. I know the woman in the office, I'll get it laminated. And every year,

like, I don't know. Come on. Just get out of here. Leave me be. He's now facing a third degree felony charge for distributing pornographic material.

And also, underneath this article is a New Zealand inmate who is claiming prison authorities are breaching his human rights by refusing access to men's magazines in some publications. And apparently he had a Cosmopolitan magazine and pictures of a woman in underwear taken off of him. Aww. Yeah. Cosmo.

So I guess they can't be allowed like adult magazines. Is that the sales section? I don't know. Or like a model in a bikini or something? Yeah. Or an actress in, I don't know. Does Cosmo have? Well, it would probably be, yeah, like selling a swimsuit or underwear.

Right, right, right. Advertising. Yeah, advertising. Well, that selling a swimsuit. Right, right, right. Underwear. Yeah, advertising. Well, that's a bit grim, isn't it? Yeah. Desperate times. Yeah, in New Zealand prisons, they get the postie plus. That's tough.

They're like, come on, Steve, if you're not going to order a card again, give us back the postie. You told us you were making an order. I'm beginning to think you're looking at that for erotic purposes. Oh, that's someone's mum or nana that's playing with themselves too. Oh, the postie. The innocence. Next on the show, moving along from this, swiftly,

I can feel management getting tense. Moving along next, a New Zealand city has only just officially taken on its name. We've called it the city for years and years, but nobody ever filed the paperwork. Sounds like something you'd do if you were in charge of naming. It does. It does.

Fletchforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. If you want an area to have an official name in New Zealand, it's got to go through the New Zealand Geographic Board. Okay. And once an official name is decided for an area, it must be on official documentation, maps, street signs, etc., etc. Mm-hmm.

And it turns out that Wellington never actually got official approval to be called Wellington until this month. But it's been Wellington forever? Forever. Yeah. Who's been Wellington forever? Yeah. Who's it named after? The Gumboots. The Wellington Boots.

I reckon the Wellington Boots and the Wellington City are named after the same. Is there like the Duke of Wellington? Yeah, right. Where's a Wellington? I don't know, but they'll be named after the same person. So I was almost thinking If they had a shady past

It would have been The time to Yeah that's not Did we check it Before we confirmed That we wanted to name it Yeah It'll be

It flitches on Wikipedia I'm on the Wikipedia It's under history It'll be under like Epidemiology The story of how Something got its name The European

Arthur Wellesley The first Duke of Wellington You suck at Googling The story of how something got its name. Middle East, European settlement. Arthur Wellesley, the first Duke of Wellington. You suck at Googling. 1839 was when it first officially was called Wellington. European settlement. Right, okay. The Duke of Wellington was the victor of the Battle of Waterloo. Waterloo!

When Napoleon surrendered. Thanks, Abba, for the history lesson. We know that that's where Napoleon, the little French guy that was in the Minions movie, he lost. Right. And so that's, okay, so maybe they named that after him because he stopped the French tyrant. Who didn't do the paperwork? I don't know. Sounds very lax.

But there's heaps of places. So there has been 382 significant Māori place names around the North Island and the top of the South Island that have been made official that previously everybody just called them out, but there wasn't. Right. There were 273 in the Wellington region alone of areas, small settlements that got officially named. Yeah, right. There was 700 name place decisions all up where they were like, yes, official, yes, official.

What difference does it make if it's made official? Well, like, could you get in and scoop up, could you just put a new name in if it's not official? I don't know. Could we find somewhere that doesn't have an official name? It's just the maps. It's something else. The maps people, I guess, it's like official official.

Yeah, right. It's like, you know, people put up road signs if they've got a really long driveway. Maybe you don't know this, but rurally, if you've got a really long driveway, people just chuck, Like a smooth place. And then it ends up. Have you seen what bloody Ian's done?

He's put up a roadside and made this driveway look like a road. And then the council comes out and they're like, better tar seal that. And then they're like, somebody knocked down the official sign. So they made this homemade one. Oh, we'll put a real one up. And then this has happened to a few people. And then they get on the map.

Isn't that insane? Yeah, it's crazy. So I guess when that happens, it's not official. Yeah, right. And then it gets officially known. Okay, which is what happened in Wellington's case. Someone accidentally built an entire city. Accidentally.

With multi-level buildings. Yeah. Just happened. But you can tell that it wasn't official because it's built on an earthquake-prone area. And have you ever been to Wellington when that southerly's blowing and it's raining? No one would build there on purpose, would they? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I'm a dog person, so this is all pretty funny to me.

There's a dating app. Well, it says it's a dating app, but you don't have to use it for dating. It's called Tabby, and it's for people who love cats. Tabby. Is this just America though? I'll look in the app store. I'll look in the app store. It's made in America, but I don't know if you can get it here or not.

So it has been created by sisters who are lovers of cats. Okay. And you can meet each other. You can knock up if you want to. But you can plan cat-friendly dates, get deals from cat companies,

share videos, photos, and stories, all with other cat lovers. And apparently there's research that suggests that people who like cats are overlooked on dating apps, especially men. Men who like cats? Yeah, because apps, especially men. Men who like cats? Yeah, because it's seen as less masculine or something. Yeah, didn't we talk about that a couple of weeks ago?

Do you remember that? If you've got a picture of a cat on your Tinder, it's a turn-off. Less masculine, more neurotic, agreeable, and less dateable if they're holding a cat in their photo. Well, that doesn't sound like me. No. Just don't comment.

I was just thinking of, my mother's voice was saying, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. Yeah, right. Do you think if, like if you're a female who really liked cats,

but then you saw a guy holding a cat, would that still be a turn off? Or because you like cats, you were like, yeah. Because I think some females probably still would swipe. Yeah. Well, you'd think so, but then the study said they don't. No, I mean swipe left, being like, nah.

Oh, right. Even though they like cats. Even though they like cats. Yeah. But that person has a cat or is okay with cats. Yeah. Because if you, because you're allergic to cats, if you were single

and swiping and a guy was really hot and had a cat, Nah, nah. It would be a deal breaker. Yeah. I just, I'm not,

I'm not, I'm allergic to them but I'm just not at all a cat person because they're so, they're assholes. They just don't provide. You're not wrong.

Even cat people know that. But some cats are smoochy, some of them. But most of them just like... But they'll go... Yeah, and scratch you or bite you all of a sudden. Smooch, smooch, bite, scratch attack. So what do you want there? I'd much rather have a dog.

But yeah, if you are a cat person, and a guy especially, this is where you need to go. Okay, well, I've just searched, and it's not on the New Zealand App Store. VPN. So it must be a VPN into America. Yeah. To chat to cat people. To chat to people

that you would literally not allowed to go and see now and for the foreseeable future. Or just make a Tinder profile and just make it all about cats. Just go cat heavy. And then if cat people swipe, they're the ones, you know?

Yeah. Right. Like, get it out there, you're saying. Just get it all out there. Every photo, your bio. You risk going too far. You might get less likes, but the ones that are into it are a wrong ball. Really into it.

And they'll be just as crazy as you. Yes. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Today's top six, the top six replacements for Nicky K in Auckland Central for the National Party. Feels like ages ago that that was the news,

that Todd Muller had stood down and Nicky was like, well, I'm out too. And haven't, we lost a few since then. Oh, yeah, they've been. Dropping like flies. But if you've got to start dealing with it, you might as well start dealing with it somewhere. The top six replacements for Nikki Kaye in Auckland Central.

Number six, the chatty Hari Krishna on Queen Street that wants to give you a book. So friendly. Always got a little sippy chat point, don't they? I have to walk past them pretty much every day. They're like, this book's a gift. They keep trying. I give you the book, you give me money.

It's a gift. It's a gifting system. If he was a member of parliament for Auckland, he'd be trying to sell books the whole time. But would always have a chatty line to open with. Yeah, true. Knocking on door to meet the constituents.

Chatty lines. Yeah. Hello. Hey. Man, that door's nice. What kind of door is that? That's how they get you. Yeah. Because, God, I do have a good door. I want to talk about it. I don't know, man. It's just a door. Wow, I think you've got to appreciate doors. Hi, nice to meet you. I'm ready for...

Mind you, I don't know if that's a good match-up, is it, politically-wise? No, I don't know. Number five on the list of the top six replacements for Nikki Kaye in Auckland Central, a kid playing violin, raising money for a trip overseas to play their violin overseas.

But now that they can't go overseas, they can run for Parliament instead. And we know that they're't go overseas, they can run for parliament instead. Yeah. And we know that they're capable of making their own signs because they make their own signs. Also, when you see a kid doing that, do you think, are you actually going overseas? Where are the receipts?

You know, like, where's your thing that says the class is going to Singapore or France? You want to see an agenda. I want to see, like, a schedule. Right. Or something from the teacher. Or something to see an agenda. I want to see like a schedule. Right. Or something from the teacher. You want to see a book plane ticket. Yeah. You need to write down your details

and get post-trip photos from them. I'd be like, here's $5, kid. I like the ones that have dealt with people like you in the past who have like almost a science fair type fridge box set up behind them with photos of their previous trips and their experience. Yeah. And everything. So you're like, okay, you've put in the effort. Yeah.

And then you chuck a few, well, you wouldn't chuck a few dollars in. Well, it's fun and hard. You're not carrying cash. Oh, no, there's a guy that busks that has an EFPLOS machine. EFPLOS machine, yeah. Have you seen those auto donation things? It's like a tap and go,

but it's like an automatic $3. Oh, yeah, that's handy. You just walk past and you go, tap. Do you check that auto donation things? It's like a tap and go, but it's like an automatic $3. Oh, yeah, that's handy. You just walk past and you go tap. Do you check that it says $3? They're like, yeah, it's automatic $3, but it's like $20. But it says it's supposed to look like $3, but it's $300. Yeah. Well, jokes on you.

I definitely don't have that in my Air Force account. Number three on the, sorry, number four on the list of the top six replacements for Nicky Kane, Auckland Central. Seeing as though, you know though these people are already there. A courier that's double parked with their indicators on. So popular. And people love them. Well, they do when they're bringing their online shopping, don't they, Megan?

Yeah, the recipients love them. A lot of time for the couriers. The people who have to go around them. And the bus that can't get around them, not so much. But if I vote for them, are they going to bring me a parcel? Yes. Done. They'll be too busy. I think that's called rigging an election. Number

three on the list of the top six replacements for Nikki Kaye in Auckland Central seeing as though these people are already there a child drinking a really big Starbucks who should be in school but for some reason is really intimidating. You ever get intimidated by a kid drinking a Starbucks? Nah. Is that hot chocolate

or just like a huge coffee? Black coffee. And you're just like, how old are you? Twelve? And then they rip out a cigarette and you're like, what's going on? And they just smoke it all at one long and then they put it out on their arm and you're like,

what has happened to kids these days? Oh, God. Number two on the list of the top six replacements for Nicky K in Auckland Central. The person that skates down the middle of the street on a longboard, zipping between cars and buses while they've got headphones on. So you just kind of watch them because one day you're going to see them die. Yeah. So risky. And they're just coming of watch them because one day you're going to see them die. Yeah.

So risky. And they're just coming up to a red light, and you're like, oh, oh, oh, oh! And then it just goes green, but then it's a pedestrian one, and the pedestrian is just about, and they're like, oh, headphones on. Do you know what they're listening to? Yeah.

But it's blocking out another sense that could save their lives. And number one on the list. God, you're getting old. Oh, it fre's blocking out another sense that could save their lives. And number one on the list. God, you're getting old. Oh, it freaks me out. It freaks me out. Number one on the list of the top six replacements to Nicky K

and Auckland Central, a road cone. Because then if that road cone can convince all the other road cones to vote for them, they'll be in easy. Because Auckland Central's population of road cones

at present is unrivaled. Yeah. Unrivaled. That. Unrivaled. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. God, these two are talking about soft mysteries. They went from... God, and honestly, this is...

I don't want to watch... I'm not going to watch this. Unsolved Mysteries on Netflix is so frustrating because... There's no ending. Yeah, there's no conclusion. The title of the show didn't give you that idea. But they're incredible crime mysteries. And every episode you're like, I need more.

And so, yeah, every day Megan and I are discussing the latest episode that we've seen. Episode three was these updates, these new details. Oh, that's the one with Alonzo. Yeah. Who went missing after the party. Yeah. And then his body Oh, that's the one with Alonzo. Yeah. Who went missing after the party. Yeah. And then his body was nowhere, but then it was in the creek. They've exhumed his body.

There's more details. Okay, good. If you've watched that episode. It was nowhere, but it was in the creek. Yeah, but someone put it back in the creek. You found him. No, but the autopsy said, oh, we don't know how he died, which annoyed the hell out of me.

Well, that's sloppy autopsy. Keep going until you work it out. But do you know what I learned on that episode last night the pathologist was talking? If you freeze a body and then put it in water, there's no way of telling that the body was pre-frozen. Like shrimp when you buy them and make your own pad thai at home. Because I was like, wait, so you'd freeze a body and then you'd put it in the creek

where it's found and given enough defrosting time, it'd be like a broccoli. It would go soft. Well, you'd think that, wouldn't you? But that's what the pathologist said. Lazy pathologing. Well, that's what I thought. Pathologing.

Pathologing. That's what they call it. Okay, I can see why this is frustrating. I, that's what I thought. Pathologing. Pathologing. That's what they call it. Okay, I can see why this is frustrating. I'm not going to watch it. If you are frustrated, what's that? A seamless segue. Then screaming could be the answer. I'm trying to think the last time I had a good scream.

A good... Yeah. Just a primal... A good cry, but not like a scream. There's nowhere appropriate to scream. Because if you're at home, you're like, oh, the neighbours will think something's bad happening. They'll call the police, won't they? So you can scream at work.

You can scream in your car, but you can't really, like, you're driving, so you don't want to close your eyes. A high country farmer will just stand on a hill and scream. If they aren't, they should. That's a lot of emotion for a high country farmer. just stand on a hill and scream. If they aren't, they should. That's a lot of emotion for a high country farmer. They'll be up there and be like, I've overdone it. No, they have a stressful job. They should be doing it.

Oh, 100%. I wonder if they do. Just stand up there and scream. Well, I would think in a vehicle would be a good time to scream. Because if you're driving, no one in the other car is going to hear you. And if they do, wow, what a scream. But you need to get your hands into it. But you do. Yeah, you need your hands.

You just need to be like, ah! Close your eyes. To do that, you would have to be stuck in a traffic jam and then people around you would see or hear you. Right, but a good scream is good for you. Great for you. Just releasing, like, pent a good scream's good for you. Great for you. Just releasing like pent up aggression, anger, frustration.

Do workplaces need a scream room? You know, like some have those little private phone rooms if you've got an open plan office. Some places do that. We have studios. They're not really sound, are they really soundproof? The studios would probably be the most soundproof rooms in this building.

But those phone rooms when you're at the airport and you go into it, if you're outside, you can always hear like... Like you definitely hear a scream coming through there. Yeah, you would. So I don't know if I've got the answer for you where you could go for a scream. You scream a lot because you're being silly. Yeah, it feels good. Maybe that's your key to it.

I love screaming so much or like yelling really hard out. And when you stop, you're a little bit dizzy and you can see stars. Yeah. Or you're like, oh, I've hurt my throat a little bit. That's key to your story. Yeah, it definitely hurts your throat. Like for the rest of the day, you're a bit like, oh, I could go a lemmy. Go a lemmy.

A lemon honey. A lem sip. A lem sip. Or just any sort of like lozenge just to. Yeah, right. I was just thinking of places you could scream. Maybe like an old forestry road. No, because then if you drive around, they'll think you're being murdered.

Someone mountain biking past me like, you all right, mate? Just having a release. Some dude's just doing some gnarly mountain biking and they just have... Or when you're doing the mountain biking and you go over a jump or something, you can be like... And then you'd need to scream too because you've got a very sore leg.

You'd scare the people collecting mushrooms though in the forest. Oh my God, I hope they haven't taken any. They're pretty thin bloody Gruffalo's out there. Joined on the phone by Bumble's award-winning sexologist, Chantal Otten. Good morning. Good morning.

How are you? Good. What awards have you won? I have won awards in female sexual medicine. So I came from a scientific sexology background. And basically you have to do research into why we are the way we are around sexuality. So

I just, I don't know. My early years were really focused on the science side and I focused on female sexual medicine which was really cool because obviously I did a good job. Now, Bumble, it's where the females message first. Yes, absolutely.

So it's just all about empowerment and really showcasing, I guess, your confidence and your authentic self and also pushing you a little bit to try your best in going outside the norm of the dating kind of world. And I guess that's why we wanted to talk to you this morning, because that can be a bit daunting, those first messages, can't they? Absolutely. So what kind of advice, because I know that I know a lot of girls, women who like Bumble for that reason, but then don't really know how to make the first move. Yeah, I think when it comes to matches between opposite sexes and women making the first move,

it's time to kind of challenge these old-fashioned gender roles that still exist in dating. And I think by making the first move and striking up a conversation, you're sending a really strong signal that you're in control and that you're self-confident and that you have self-worth and self-assurance. And I guess that does take time and practice. It's like anything. It's like juggling.

You don't know how to do it right the first time. You have to keep trying to really perfect your craft. So is there any tips you would give women then that maybe don't feel as confident and don't know how to do it? Yeah, absolutely. I think I'm all about faking it till you make it a little bit and probably trying to get a good, like, opening line, right? So something like trying with a cute compliment or followed by a

question to keep the ball rolling um so you know you can look at their profile and say something like hey you have great taste in music what's the best concert you've ever been to um or you can you know make them laugh in some way so hi'm here. What are your wishes on our first date? You know, something that can, I guess, pique their interest a little bit rather than a, hey, how was your day? Chantelle, I've met men. I know some.

I am one. I don't actually think it would even involve anything that complex. I know, I know. Just a full stop or something. I don't actually think it would even involve anything that complex. I know, I know. Just a full stop or something. I don't know. Have you dated for a while? No, no, not for a long time. It's a little bit complex out there.

Right. Okay. Okay. So in terms of first dates, what does the ideal first date look like, do you think, in your opinion? Oh, I think that's a really hard one. Is there an ideal first date look like, do you think, in your opinion? Oh, I think that's a really hard one. Is there an ideal first date? I mean, I used to go dating for the free food,

which is probably not the way that you should do things these days because I guess we are in the age of actually just going on a date to have a really fun time and to get to know someone and I think the early stages are when you can really get to know your match and the best way to do that is probably at the moment going for a walk considering all the restrictions are kind of lifted or going for a coffee or something like that I always think that it's good to have a bit of a time limit on there. So if you go, yeah, that was great, you know, then you line up another date very soon afterwards. Or if you go,

ah, you know, not really my vibe, then you can say thanks. It was so nice to meet you. I wish you the best of luck, etc. Oh, okay. So they're not going to think there's another date coming if you say that? No, well i i think you have to be very clear if you're not into someone to go you know what i just didn't get the romantic um i guess vibes that i um wanted to get from this so i'm just going to leave it at this date and i wish you all the best um that's probably the best way to yeah it's it's better than ghosting it's better than simmering out on text messages i think that a lot of people have really had their hearts um or broken a little bit after each day

that they just don't hear back from and i don't think that that's the way to go we have to be very respectful and courteous that everyone's trying to put themselves out there these days um and everyone's just trying their best. So going on a date to just have fun, you know, showcase your interests, going for a walk, doing a yoga session, you know, just going for a coffee or for a margarita is totally fine. And then if you really enjoy it,

lining up another one very soon afterwards. How has it changed lately? I mean, you're based in Melbourne, so there's another lockdown. How's dating changed in this kind of like the COVID times, let's call them? Oh, we've kind of gone backwards. And to be honest, it's not a bad thing. I think that there's this real rise in slow dating, which is where you have to get to know that person over, you know, Bumble, essentially, and over their virtual dating applications and get to know what they're into from home.

I mean, you can do a tour of the home. You can cook together. You can do it like a meet my pets kind of date. It's just a little bit different to dating in real life, I guess. But I would say that this second lockdown has been really, really tough on people and their motivation. So I'm really hoping that they start to reach out. And I definitely know that a few of my friends and some of my patients

have just jumped back on the bumbler bandwagon and just need, you know, someone to chat to to get them through this time. Yeah. Well, let's hope we never go back there. Yeah. Because it's terrible, isn't it? Yeah. Lucky.

Well done, you guys. You did a very good job over in Enzard. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us this morning, Chantel. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. There is a new drink, though, that we need to discuss now. Yes, there is.

If you left the frozen beverage department years ago because of the insane amount of sugar in the drinks. Yeah. Also, I think there must have been a change in the recipe. Because I looked up, I found all these articles from like 2014 that said frozen, for example if you were to compare frozen Coke to ordinary Coke, twice the amount of sugar.

Twice? Twice the amount of sugar. In a frozen Coke? Yeah, for the same thing there was 40 grams of sugar versus 80 grams of sugar in the frozen version. So the news came out yesterday that McDonald's New Zealand will be the first to have the no sugar frozen Coke. Now apparently they dropped some off at the office.

We were here. What kind of spoon did it, what kind of straw did it have it with it? That annoying spoon thing on the end? Producer Joe, can we track down somebody yesterday who had this? In the office, because I want to get a review. Yep, I believe Georgia who does. Okay, let's see if we can get Georgia on the phone. I'll just give you some stats here.

Okay. But now this has got no sugar in it. There must have been a change because the latest sugar content I could find was it was frozen Coke was on par with ordinary Coke. Okay. For sugar. Because that's what put me off because I only ever do like no sugar or Coke Zero. I always went to the movies and

you'd see people getting frozen Coke and you're like oh damn you. Just because I'd never, yeah frozen Coke and you're like, oh, damn you. Just because I'd never, yeah, had a lot of sugar in it. So young. And the old frozen Sprite used to have even more sugar. Really? Yeah. Because what did you say, like how much sugar was in the old frozen Coke? The old one, I could find a whole lot of stories from around 2014, 2015,

which said it had twice as much sugar as ordinary Coke. But how much? 80 grams. So that's a teaspoon's what, 4 grams? Yeah, so 20 teaspoons of sugar. And then what, they halved that so it was still as much as normal Coke. Yep. That was what I could find. Even now,

I went to a few fast food outlets in Australia that were doing both. Right. And it said that they were rocking 40 grams of sugar in a frozen Coke compared to an ordinary Coke, which is also 40 grams. But then these both came in with no. Man, you live in ignorant bliss, eh? Because when you have drinks, it's like, oh, yep.

But this is great. I'm so excited. Now, we've managed to get Georgia on the phone. Georgia, good morning. Hello, hello, guys. You know. Oh, I'm so jealous. did we leave work when these were delivered yesterday? Yeah, well, they were actually specifically delivered to me. So, um...

Oh! Look who's a no-sugar frozen Coke influencer. I am, guys. No, but seriously, though, I don't know whether it's just the carrot I had beforehand or not, but they were sweeter than I remember a frozen Coke bag, but so good because I'm like you guys and love a Coke Zero, so very, very happy with it.

Oh, my God. I'm so excited about this. It sounds like a rave review. So the viscosity, Georgia, still just as frozen as like a normal frozen Coke? Not like runny? Well, by the time I got it and it actually melted so i can't actually know right well you can't deliver a frozen coke you've got to have it fresh out the machine if you do you've got to be pretty quick especially when you're trying to get people to talk favorably

about it right yeah you want it straight out the machine and what kind of straw uh was a paper straw was it a thick was it a thick straw or a thin one with a scoop on the bottom? Well, no scoop at the bottom, but still kind of thin. It was good, though, because I actually downed it real quick, then got brain freeze. Yeah, I always do that, so I get too excited. I wonder if what you experienced, you said it was sweeter than you remember because the first thing to melt is the flavouring.

And the thing that's left at the end is the tasteless ice. So I'm wondering if you had a real jazzed up version of it. That's why it seemed sweeter. Hey, probably, but also it just proves that it's still good whether it's frozen or not. I'm so excited about this. Like, yay for science, eh? I mean, we can...

It's taken you long enough, but yay for science. This seems to have taken a long time. Yeah. But yay for science. There's other things to do, like, you know, get a coronavirus vaccine.

Yeah. Scientists have been busy. Yeah. Haven't they? I'd rather be on the frozen Coke team. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM.

Producer Jarrow, we were talking yesterday about people eating with their mouths open and how it's yuck and we're adults and we should be doing better. Who was doing that? Someone was doing it, wasn't it? It annoyed you. You told everybody.

Talking. Eating. The whole thing was a sloppy ordeal. I told everybody. I was like, talking, eating. Yeah, the whole thing was a sloppy ordeal. And that is when producer Jared informs us that once he just straight up ghosted somebody because they were a noisy eater. Yeah, I don't make a habit of ghosting people. Just wanted to clarify that. Says the guy with 400 Tinder matches over lockdown. Well, the date, we had a date and

it wasn't going, like, super well. Yep. And then we ordered some food and she started chewing with her mouth open. And was she talking and chewing? Yep. There was a crossover. Why were you asking her questions when you were eating? Oh, no, she just didn't stop. Oh, right.

Okay, right. I'm, like, you were eating? Oh, no, she just didn't stop. Oh, right. Okay, right. I'm, like, a big advocate of not, like, being too judgmental on a first date about things people say and stuff, but I don't know about that. What about horrific racism? Oh, no, that's good. Okay, good. There's exceptions to the rule. What if the talking they're doing with their mouth open while they're eating is also racist?

You're allowed to get up and go straight away. Yeah. See ya. But, like, I don't know if I can handle that. Do you bring it up and then are they going to change it? What if it's Harry Styles and he eats with his mouth open and talks? I told you, there's exceptions to every rule. Harry Styles wouldn't.

He wouldn't. He's classy, yeah, yeah. He wouldn't do that. He'd be such a gentleman. He wouldn't even hold his fork. He wouldn't. He wouldn't. He's classy, yeah, yeah. He wouldn't do that. He'd be such a gentleman. He wouldn't even hold his, he wouldn't hold his fork. He wouldn't scoop with his fork. He'd do that thing where you hold your fork the other way up and you cut. You mean just

use your fork properly. Just using your fork properly, yeah. But I mean, even if he did, I think I could. You'd make an exception. So you just go, so you had the date and then you said goodbye. And that was it. No more, did she message you? She messaged me a few days later, but it was just a hey. And I was like, I don't know.

And you didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. You ghosted. Probably because you imagined it as hey. What is the right thing to do in that situation? Because ghosting sucks. Like no one wants to be ghosted. But then like, what are you, are you supposed to be like, hey, I didn't really like how you ate with your mouth open.

I don't think you'd tell them why. Because, like, on a first date, you're usually on your best behaviour, right? Yeah. But then if that's your baseline, is to chew with your mouth open, how much worse could it get? That is true. That's a good way of looking at it, yeah. Yeah.

That is true. And so you ghosted her. I felt bad. But I feel like everyone ghosts, so it's okay. Oh, I've been ghosted my fair share. Yeah, so you're just paying it forward. Yeah. Paying it forward or paying it back?

I don't know. It's a directional payment anyway. But it's the not knowing. Like, I think I'd almost rather than be like, yeah, with your mouth open, I'd be like, okay, sweet. Or what, you wouldn't take it like that? No, I'd be like, okay, sweet. Or you wouldn't take it like that. No, I'd be like, okay, we're not compatible then, or maybe I could work on it, or maybe

I didn't realise I was doing it, or I don't know. Not knowing sucks. I want to take some calls, because these are kind of like deal breakers, right? But what is the reason you ghosted someone? Like, something they did when you were on a date or a hookup.

And do you want like little things? Well, yeah, maybe. Like a little red flag and you're like, nah. The reason you were like, okay, this is it. It's over. I can't do this anymore. But you have to have done it. This can't be a theoretical I would.

No. No, you have to have. We want to hear if you actually did it. And that's why you were like, I'm not talking to them again. I'm ghosting. I mean, bonus points if it took you like four or five dates and you really gave it a go. Like you said, Megan,

you're not judging them on the first date, but maybe you have a couple of dates and every date it's like, still doing it. And still see the food in your mouth churning around. Okay, well, like eating with your mouth open, what was that one thing? The little red flag. That made you ghost somebody?

Well, it came out in conversation producer Jared ghosted a girl because she ate with her mouth open and talked the whole date. We want to know the little thing that made you ghost somebody when you were out on a date and maybe you made it two or three dates before.

Something happened. Yeah. Wow. Some messages coming through. First date. Said we were going to a fancy place for dinner. He asked me where I wanted to go. So I said this place.

He booked it. Fancy place. Showed up in a hoodie. Might have been a good hoodie. It is good to have a good hoodie with no stains on it for dates and such. Yeah. A nice night out. Okay.

I ghosted a chick for calling me bro. Oh, it's like if someone calls me mate. Like, no. Come on, mate. I'm really bad. Sometimes shout out, be like, you can't call them guys. Like, hey, guys. Like, to a group of, like, mixed gender.

Like, you know, there's guys, there's girls. Oh, I'm okay with that. Hey, guys. I'll be like, oh, hey, guys. How's it, guys? See you, guys. To, like, you know, there's guys, there's girls. Oh, I'm okay with that. Hey, guys. I'll be like, oh, hey, guys. How's it, guys? See you, guys. To like women. See you, guys and girls.

She's like, some women don't like being called guys. True. I'm like, oh, it's coming from a good place. That's an excuse. I don't think that's an excuse, no. Just trying to be. To me, it's a gender neutral term. Not to everybody, sure sure We were Snapchatting

And a guy said he had a present for me And I said oh I love presents And he sent me a picture of his shaved area Yeah To be honest I saw that coming She didn't If it was on Snapchat Are you just assuming

Yeah I just I'm gonna present for you. I'm going to present for you. Snapchat, image gets sent. You're like, I know what this is going to be. We're talking now about what made you ghost somebody. This is like you said, real life in situation deal breakers. Yeah.

But we want to know when it actually happened, when someone did something that made you just be like, I'm out. There are some great messages coming through. Third date, finished the date with a kiss. I think everything's going pretty well at this stage. He said, I enjoyed lip kissing you. Lip kissing? Who says that?

Ghosted. That's just kissing, isn't it? Yeah. But was he trying to be cute and funny? Because it might have been lost over. No, I don't. That didn't seem, if he he was it certainly didn't come across His delivery was bad yeah

Yeah right okay I'm not kissing Somebody else said This guy snapchatted his grandma's funeral Thought that was weird Didn't want to judge At least it wasn't a photo of his dead grandma Next photo dear grandma

Oh no Okay no one's doing that Come on Remember when there was this story last year about funeral selfies being on the rise? Yeah. Such a weird time for a selfie. Yeah.

Yeah. Tash, what was the weird reason that you ghosted somebody? Because he picked his nose, he didn't know where to put it, so he put it in his jeans pocket. He was trying to be courteous. It could have been worse He could have eaten it It could have been under the table

It probably would have been preferable But it wasn't the first date I met him And I was like you know you're a little bit quirky And then went out with him again And I don't know he had a bogey that he needed to get rid of He didn't have a tissue And so he stuck it in his pocket Good man

Brilliant I love it Tash Thanks for your call Some text messages and so he stuck it in his pocket. Good man. Brilliant. I love it, Tash. Thanks for your call. Some text messages. There's lots of this. So many to choose from. Some very... Oh, there's some inappropriate. Quite racist and inappropriate ones.

It's crazy. One that I couldn't read out. I'm proud of the people that have stood up and said that's not okay. Called them out on it and said, you know that that's not okay to say. I ghosted a guy because he believed in ghosts. That's what we call a double ghosting. A double ghosting.

But then he'd know that he's been ghosting. So is it ghosting to him? But he'd be able to see it because he can see ghosts. So presumably he can see the ghosting as well. He'd write it on the wall there. And he'd probably just ask Bruce Willis what he thinks.

Yeah. I got called baby girl during intimate times. I was like, no. Baby girl. No, thank you. Is that a stop right there? Thank you very much. Or is that a wait until?

I don't know. They finished with the vomiting emoji and that was it. They were out. I'm not sure what their longevity was on that. I went on a date with a guy. I've been told I've got a sensitive brain, reads this message.

I went on a date with two... Two dates with a guy and when he picked me up, he just fidgeted with everything and he was always fiddling and then I was just watching him fiddling and it got me very... Anxious.

Anxious. Why was he fiddling? Why so much fiddling? So we were just not meant to be. Maybe he was nervous. Yeah, but she. Two nervous, fidgety people, anxious people not going to work out. Yeah.

Somebody said, I went on a date with a lady. I asked her, what did you do for a job? She said, I'm not working at the moment. I just had a baby last week. That was a lot. Certainly not the situation I thought I was getting myself into. So I left. She was honest.

I ghosted a guy who was trying to show off and decided it would be cool to drive somewhere in the vicinity of 200 kilometres an hour. Oh, no. No. Oh, my God. What would you do? You'd just be like, slow down?

You're putting my life at risk in the first date. Yeah, that's not cool. It's not okay any date. Somebody else said, after the date we were walking to the car and the guy saw that I drove a Holden and he asked me to do a skid, I laughed. And then when I was just about to drive away, he tapped on the window and did the...

Where you roll your fingers around like, do a burnout. I imagine it's a nice, sensible little hole in a berena or something. I've done some peelies in a berena. Oh, no, don't get me wrong. A front-wheel drive berena will do some peelies, but you wouldn't assume everybody was just willing to rip on the handbrake, drop the clutch and rev the shit out of a berena to do some skids to impress a guy, would you?

That wouldn't be a big deal. I don't want to ruin my car on the first date. No. Disrupt your engine mount. It'd be terrible. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Today, exactly today, is 10 years ago since One Direction came together on, was it X Factor?

X Factor. Oh, Britain's got X Factor. Yeah. And Simon Cowell was like, well, individually, you're all right, but let's make a mega band and make me some money. So today from Midday Georgia. And then Louis and Harry. Oh, my God.

Vaughan's just read into fan theories about Louis and Harry. I don't know this is a thing. They're like, what, eight years old. Lowry shippers. And they were like, Louis, don't let the record label make you get a girlfriend. Follow your heart, man, Louis, don't let the record label make you get a girlfriend. Follow your heart, man. Love, Harry. And everyone was for it.

Yeah, I know. Well, today from Midday Georgia, counting down the top ten. Why didn't you tell me about it? 1D songs. You said you knew about it. You didn't tell me about it. Well, I don't know. You're married.

I don't know if you think that came. Why did you keep me in the loop on these things? Sorry. Because then I look like a dick like six years later. Do you guys hear about this thing that happened six years ago? I should have been all over it. Yeah. Hey, you on the phone.

I'm better can guess your mum's name. Alyssa, good morning. Good morning. Were you a big One Direction fan? Yeah, of course. Does that news make you a big One Direction fan? Yeah, of course. Yeah, does that news make you feel old? Yeah, very old actually. Did you know about Larry?

I actually didn't. Oh, yeah. There were some other big 1D fans that didn't know about it. All right, so Alyssa, welcome to I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name. Vaughn is going to ask you five questions, and from those questions is going to try and guess your mum's Name. Vaughn is going to ask you five questions, and from those questions, he's going to try and guess your mum's name. He'll have 15 seconds to do that.

If he does, you win the $100 cash. Awesome. I'm good. Okay. Question one. What's your mum's star sign? Cancer. Oh.

No, wait. She might have changed. Is it a new star sign? No, we're not doing that new star sign. Oh, do we all like that? I think we all universally agree that it's been around for ages. So we just go with that. Every few years it pops up. She's a Cancer.

I think NASA just is like, you guys think that looks like a crab? You guys are dicks. We're NASA. They've told us our personality traits for years that we've built our personality around them. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so she's a Cancer. Mum's a Cancer. I've built our personality around them. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so she's a cancer. Mum's a cancer.

I've got three names written down. Okay. I'm adding a fourth to the list. Okay. Where did your parents meet? Oh, high school,

I'm pretty sure. Oh. Cute. High school sweetheart. High school sweetheart. That's super cute Now I'm going to write down the names of some people I knew that were high school sweethearts Is that how this works?

This is pretty much how it works Your mum and dad were high school sweethearts They were Your mum's name's going on the list Expect to hear that Actually I know someone else I'm not going to knock the process You've won the last three games.

Yeah. But just speed the process up. Does your mum use the dryer? Only when it's raining. Yes. That's the right answer. Otherwise, I would accuse her of not actually being your mum. Even when it's raining, she'll put it on the clothes horse.

Yeah, it's like... Like, literally, the dryer is from the 80s or 90s. She makes them last, eh? Barely, yeah. Mine not goes through, like, a washing machine every few years, but the dryer, because it barely gets used. Yeah. So your mum's name's going on the list.

My mum's name's going on the list. Okay. My nan's... Yep, nan's going on the list. Okay. All right, next question. Does your mum ever make preserves? Like, does she ever, like, bottle anything?

No. Okay. I don't have any names to answer the list. Sounds like a young mum. Yeah. Are you getting a young mum vibe? I was thinking, like, young mum, but then the dryer thing put me back maybe five years. Okay, right, okay.

What's your mum's favourite takeaway? Double down from KFC. Really? I would not have expected that. She only gets takeaways when the double downs are out. She just really fancies the double down. Wow, okay.

That's, um, see, I'm going back to young mum. She's bucking the trend, yeah. Like a boomer, that. Like a boomer. That's not a boomer takeaway. No. Not really. Wow, you're really throwing Vaughn with that one. I'm not taking any other names off the list,

but it just makes me think about adding more. Okay. Okay. Is this your last question, or do you have two more? No, this is my last question. What kind of car does your mum drive? It's a Mitsubishi, but I don't know what it is, but it's like a little minivan.

Okay. Like a little, like a... A Mitsubishi... It's like a cool minivan, not one of the, like, the... Yeah. Okay, so she's a cool mum. Your mum is in an enigma. Does she have a mobile hair salon in the back of that?

What does she do with that? Oh, just got the kids in the back. She isn't groomed dogs? A mobile groomer? No, the dog goes in the front seat. Not a delica. No, she said cool. Mitsubishi delicas aren't cool.

Maybe I can Google it. Mitsubishi sports back. I mean, it doesn't really matter. No, it doesn cool. Mitsubishi Delicas aren't cool. Maybe I can Google it. Mitsubishi Sports... I mean, it doesn't really matter. No, it doesn't really matter. There's someone screaming at their radio right now because they're driving one and they think it's a pretty cool little minivan. All right.

Okay. Well, Alyssa, we're going to give Vaughn 15 seconds. I've got my names here. If you hear your mum's name, yell out, stop, that's my mum. Okay. Vaughan, your time starts now. Nicola, Tanya, Kathy or Catherine, Karen, Angela, Christine, Bev, Ray, or Ray Wint, there's your mum's name, Tracy, Angela, Kelly,

Julie. Stop that for mum's name. Tracy Angela Kelly Julie. Stop that for mum's name. Kelly. Kelly? Yeah. Hey! You heard it down there. Yeah, so Kelly loves a double down, drives a Mitsubishi.

Yeah. I like to use the dryer too much. A little bit. Wow. That actually went on under the how did your parents meet question because I know someone that was a high school sweetheart. And it's called Kelly. And their name was Kelly. Wow.

You're quite good at this. Because if I'd put it down for the dryer, Kelly wouldn't have been on the list. No. Yeah. I found the car, by the way. It's a Grandus. A Mitsubishi Grandus.

A Mitsubishi Grandus. I love that you had time to do that. Well done, you. Mitsubishi Grandus. Oh, it is kind of a jazzy little... It's not really a van.

It's like a... It looks like a Previa. I'm just on driven.co.nz, which is a company website. Company synergy. If you're ever looking for'm just on driven.co.nz, which is a company website. Company synergy. If you're ever looking for a car, driven.co.nz. This is why the CEO, Bogsy, loves me.

I'm one of his favourites. You're synergising. Oh, yeah, that's... It's very roundy, isn't it? That's how I want my cars described. It looks as though it's ready for an aerodynamic 110km. Roundy. Like Waikato Expressway.

Or to be broken down on the side of the road somewhere in Monaco because they're always a perpetrator. All right, listen, now, I am just told by producer Jared, because the executive intern is nine years away, we do not have a $100 bonus round. Why is that, Jared? Is there a global pandemic? Because it's unprecedented times.

Unprecedented times. What if we have a silly guess? Yeah, just do a guess. I'm sure if you have a silly guess and you hit the nail on the head, I could swing something. We'll just steal something from the office for Alyssa. That would be nice. To the value of $100.

Yeah, or we could get maybe some car seat covers for the Mitsubishi. Yeah. Give some to your mum. All right, so it is time. Bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. One guess. Kelly and David.

Is your dad's name Banana? Oh, my gosh, how do you know? Yay! Oh, don't be stupid. Banana. This is why Bogsy loves me. You promote other aspects of the company and I'll throw myself on the grenade to save us $100.

Oh, right. I wanted you. I think it's David. Have a serious guess, please. That's a good guess. No, you can't guess David. It might be David. We'll just find out something from the office.

And there will be $100. We'll just have a serious guess, please. Kelly and David. It might be David. We'll just find out something from the office. And there will be $100. We'll just have a series. Okay. Kelly and David. Kelly and... Kelly and Doug. Kelly and Matt. Kelly and Matt.

Kelly and Matt. That's very... Yeah, that's... Is that your... You're just trying to think I had lots of Kellys at school and lots of Matts at school. Same vintage. I just hope it's not right.

I went... Okay. No, it's not that. Is it David? Peter. Oh. We always say Peter. Always say Peter.

Kelly and Peter. Hey, Alyssa, thank you for playing. I bet I can guess your mum's name. $100. Thank you so much, guys. Yes, congratulations. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

One in 10 people consider this as bad as cheating. There's lots of things that people do in relationships like, oh, you loaded the dishwasher wrong. Oh, God. Yeah. That rile each other up. But this is... Are you going to try and guess?

It's as bad as cheating. So they do it and they're like, what are you doing like this? Leaving the toilet seat up i'm just trying to think of things oh putting the toilet roll around the wrong way so that it goes down towards the wall and always get a talking to and then if that happens you'd be like what no you remember what's happened beards are cool mullets are not i tell you remember which way to put the toilet roll on oh yeah okay it should look like a beard going down the front not a mullet at the back. Oh, yeah, okay.

Although mullets are kind of in at the moment. Are they? Beds, think of it this way. Beds are always in. Yeah, true. Timeless. And Santa has a bed.

A timeless fashion piece. Just remember, Santa when putting on the toilet roll. Yes. Yep. Is it like watching a show, like carrying on

watching a season, a series? I consider it close to that. Is it? You a show, like carrying on watching a season, a series? I consider it close to that. Is it? You've got it. What? What is it? I've got it.

It's when you're charging your phone using your charger and they come along and they go, oh, he's on 50%, unplugged it and plugs their phone in. But it doesn't tell you. I think I've done that to you before. Yeah, that's criminal. What percentage are you on? It does not matter. Yeah, it's my charger. That is my charger that I went and got and that to you before. Yeah, that's criminal. What percentage are you on? It does not matter. Yeah, it's my charger.

That is my charger that I went and got and plugged in out here. But you're on 50. I'm on like two. But go to the home. Go and get your charger. Yeah, get your charger. When we've stayed at a hotel or something together, I'm pretty sure I've done that to you.

And you'll come back and you'll be like, who unplugged this? And now you've got to be the one that goes out with no battery. Yeah, yeah. I've got 50. Far lower than I wanted. Now we've both got 50. I could have got lost on 2%.

Where are we going, though? That's your fault. That's on you. No one's coming looking for you. You have your handbag, your lady purse, to put your charger in. My lady purse. Yeah, and then when we're out and you need charge, who's coming crawling to me in my lady purse? True. She's always crawling to the lady purse. Yeah, and then when we're out and you need charge, who's coming crawling to me in my lady purse?

True. She's always crawling to the lady purse. Always. Hat in hand. Well, they hold so much. Here, hold my wallet. Can you put it in my case? Put it in my own mind.

I have the quickies. I assume there's quickies in there. Oh, my God, I do have quickies. My mum's got quickies because Dad, every now and then, I'll get caught short and Dad will need her quickies. Because you've got a pen and a pen in there. Orange my God, I do have cookies. My mum's got cookies because Dad, every now and then I'll get caught short and Dad will need a cookie. Because orange juice gives me heartburn.

That's all. Okay, so what is... It's not that. Okay, what is the thing that one in ten people think is worse than cheating? If you go and get takeaways without them.

If you're going to McDonald's and you come home with McDonald's and I guess there's none for them. Or you have food, like you get takeaways on the way home and then you get home and you're like, I've had dinner, had McDonald's. No, it's not even that. That's bad communication. That's bad.

But like, you're just like getting it without them. When I was thinking about it, we never get takeaways without each other. Just like, I don't know how I would react if he just came home and had McDonald's. I'd be like, what's happening? What if he ate it all in the car on the way home and then came in and gave you a kiss and you're like, quarter pounder. You son of a bitch. I would rather you came home with another woman's lipstick on than secret sauce.

And it's not like where's the chippies for me or anything. It's just like, you had that whole experience without me. That's rude. I had a,

go on. No, I was going to say, do you find that if you're with someone, they justify your fast food takeout because they're eating it too? Um, hello? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the freedom. It's a free pass. It's a get out of jail free, right? Do you want ice cream? No. If we're getting famous, I'll need it. This I can't understand, though.

If I want ice cream, I'm having it. I don't care if other people, even if we go out for dinner and I've got my mind set on a dessert that I've seen on the specials board and everyone else is like, oh, no thanks. I'll be like, yep. Because you don't want to be the only one sitting there. Sharnay won't do it. She would not.

If she's like, I feel like an ice creamer, but I'm okay. She'll be like, well, I won't then. I'll be like, but do it. Just do it. No, no. She's like, I'm not sitting here eating by myself. I'm like, why not? I do it all the time.

I need to communally eat my junk. Oh, no. I don't want to share it. I just. Communally eat my junk. Cool. Sounds like an insult. Sounds like someone cuts you off in traffic.

You'd be like, hey, communally eat my junk. I think Fletcher's thinking of it like an insult. Sounds like someone cuts you off in traffic and be like, hey, community, my job. I think Fletcher's thinking of it as an insult. It was a situation like this last night. Shada's doing a night course at the moment. Yeah. And she came home late and I waited up because I wanted to see how it all went. And she walked in with a bag of Maccas. Yeah.

And I was like, oh, okay. That's cool. Yeah. Because she said she was going to. Because she's doing a uni. Yeah, yeah. She's going to uni. It's hot she was going to. Because she's doing a uni. Yeah, yeah. She's going to uni. It's hot, guys.

I'm hooking up with a uni student. And so she said I might get something on the way home. I'm like, that's cool. And then she came in with Maccas and I'm like, oh, a cheeseburger. Because she said she felt like a cheeseburger. She's like, quarter pounder. I was like, that's fine. Yeah, cool.

But then I pulled the receipt out of the bag. What? I don't know why, but I was just, I think I wondered what it was. Because I looked in the bag and I saw the quarter pounder. I was like, what's that? Who keeps the receipt? Anyway, I pulled it out. Written on the bottom, it says, prepare yourself for this, by the way.

Yeah. This is shocking. Yeah. Filet-O-Fish. I don't know anyone that eats Filet-O-Fish. And I said, what? Because it said quarter pounder. Yeah. This is shocking. Yeah. Filet-O-Fish. I don't know anyone that eats Filet-O-Fish. And I said, what? Because it said quarter pounder. Yeah.

Quarter pounder combo. Yeah. Quarter pounder combo and a Filet-O-Fish. Filet-O-Fish. I was just like, Filet-O-Fish. She's like, oh, because she's a terrible liar. She crumbled on the spot. Yeah.

I would have said there must have been a mistake. She said, I ate it in the car. Have you ever known her to eat one? I said, this is not a problem that you've got two burgers. Knock yourself out. But a Filet-O-Fish.

You're married to her. You think you know someone and then their secondary burger is a Filet-O-Fish. That would be down the list for me. Was she thinking that was a healthier option or something? It's a filet-o-fish. That would be down the list for me. Was she thinking that was a healthier option or something? It's a filet-o-fish.

I don't care what she was thinking. Yeah. You should never think filet-o-fish. So her getting back to the study, was her secretly eating that as bad as cheating? The secretly wasn't the problem. It was the fact that she ordered a filet-o-fish. No one orders a filio fish.

Apparently they do. No one. Certainly not anyone I'm married to. I'll be calling the lawyer today. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the knot. Okay.

A rope knot. Yes. Okay. Well, actually, a knot is defined as an intentional complication in cordage. Oh, sauce about it. How right is that, right? That's a fancy explanation. A cordage could be a rope.

It could be a string. It's anything of the cord family. It could be a power cord. It could be. Occasionally, you get one of those. It could be. And that would be an unintentional. Oh, I hadn't thought about this.

A knot's an intentional. Otherwise, it could just be a. Unintentional. A blip. A blip. A blip in the cord. A mess. Right.

A tangle. It could probably be a tangle. Yeah, okay. It could be a tangle. A tangled knot. But today's fact of the day about knots is that if you use what I would have always called a knot to tie two ends of the same piece of rope together, it's actually called a bend. That's not a knot.

Oh, okay. It's a bend. Who's checking this? The knot police? Well, they're not knot. They're not knot. They're not knot checking it. They're not police.

Okay. But I've always been able to undo a knot. Yeah. I pride myself in undoing a knot. I undid a very tight knot just yesterday in a dog collar. Have you ever tried to undo a knot on your pants? And it's real hard sometimes. Because you've kind of got to suck in your guts.

With the draw cord. Do you mean the draw cord? Yeah. Yeah. Like, have you ever knotted that up? I always take them off. I'll always squeeze. I'll always shimmy out of them. And then you can pull a bit more out of the draw cord. You mean the draw cord? Yeah. Yeah. Like if you ever knotted that up. I always take them off. I'll always squeeze. I'll always shimmy out of them.

And then you can pull a bit more out of the waistband. Yeah. And then you've got a bit more to work with. The hardest knot is a knot in a necklace. Because there's little chains. Sade's handed me a fine necklace or two in her time and said, this could a little knot in it. And I said.

You did it. Give me a minute. I used to have a magnifying glass. What. I used to have a magnifying glass. What? I used to have a magnifying glass. Why? I don't even know. I think it was even out of a Christmas cracker.

Okay, right. At Christmas, when it came out, I said, it's so small, and I put it in my eye like a monocle. And then I looked at something, and I was like, oh, my God. And it let me see, and I looked like one of those jewelers who could look at a diamond and be like, it's far from perfect. But I put it in my eye and so that was, I have that.

It's probably still on my bed so I draw for the knots of the necklaces. I go and put on my not undoing monocle and I'm like, right, it's time to get to work. Also, what kind of bougie Christmas crackers are you buying? Like I don't think I've ever got anything out of a cracker and thought, well, I'm going to keep this. Well, my mum made a real stand a few years ago because of that situation.

Yeah. Christmas crackers were nothing more than a bang. Yeah. A bang, a hat and a joke. Yeah. Because the toys were always rubbish. So she said, because we don't have huge family Christmases, she said, I'm going to buy decent ones

so that the things in it are actually useful and not just plastic junk. Right. So she spends a little bit more and gets a bougie cracker. Which has a plastic junky monocle in it. Magnifying glass. Yeah, it had a magnifying glass in it. So you can pop that in.

So today's fact of the day is if you're knotting two ends of the same piece of rope together, that's not a knot. That's a bend. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Ten years ago today, One Direction were put together as a band on The X Factor.

Ten years ago. Did they have the name? No. They all auditioned as individuals and they did get through. Right, but today was the day that they were, like, put together. Yeah. They were given the name One Direction. Because Simon Cowell says it was him.

He's like, ah, it took me 10 minutes, and I put them together as a band. So then they could progress in the groups category. But then Nicole Scherzinger, she was a judge on their tour, and she said it was her idea. So I don't know. Yeah, right. Simon Cowell claims it,

and he's made a lot of money off them since. Wouldn't he have made so much of them just alone? So much money. Insane. But that's crazy to think it was 10 years ago. He's made so much money off it, his face is freaked out.

And it's kind of gone non-expressionless. Yeah, I think sometimes he's just like, oh. To celebrate, Georgia at Midday has the 10 biggest

One Direction songs that she's going to count down. It's got us kind of in the office reminiscing. And we were talking to producer Mountie. You never had One Direction posters. No, I think I'm a bit old for that, but I was a JoBros girl. Right, so a lot of posters of JoBros.

Who is your favourite JoBro? Jo, yeah. Jo. Really? Controversial. Yeah, I love that sexy long fringe and skinny legs. Say no more. Skinny legs.

Oh, yeah. Producer Jared, did you, what posters did you, you wouldn't have had One Direction posters. No, I wasn't allowed posters on my wall. Oh. What about Blu-Tack with the roll, the push on, roll off rule? Because that's the rule with Blu-Tack. Roll it off.

No, they said it would stain in the paint on the wall. You know, they're not wrong. Sometimes you do get a little bit of residual. It depends how long the Blu-Tack stays on for, but they can. What about 3M Master Hooks? No, God, no. Then you could have put your... Waste of money.

They'll tear the wall down. What would you have put on your wall? Oh, there would have been, like, some Dungeons and Dragons stuff. Oh, wow. So now looking back on it, do you think it was more like your mum being like, no, no, you can't be a nerd. It's definitely about the wall. It might have been.

Mum's like, I'm not having that nerdy shit in my house. No, you can't have anything on the wall because of the Blu-Tack stains. And also, how's mum going to put that on Instagram? It's not going to look very nice, the kids' room, if it's got Dungeons & Dragons posters all over it. Oh, yeah, can you imagine if your mum had, like, because, like, Sade's all about having the kids' room looking awesome

and she'll, like, buy stuff and put it on. My mum would have put a photo up and it would have been, like, Vaughn's Green Day posters with trucks and Tiffany Amber Thiessen. Yeah. Hashtag decor. Yeah. Sure. With an old blue thread cord duvet and a wooden bed frame.

So I was thinking, being that it's 10 years One Direction today, I want to take some calls from people. How into One Direction were you? I was pretty into them, but I was too old to be having like 1D posters on my wall. But you think about it though, if you had a poster of One Direction on your wall and you were really into them,

you're in your 20s now. Yeah. Like you've grown up. Or 30s. Or 30s. You've grown up and like looking back, you're like, oh my God, I was obsessed. Well, they're like 26 now, right?

Yeah. Yeah. So I just want to hear from those people that just had the posters everywhere. I want to just investigate a little bit more that. So they're 26 now, right? Crazy. Like, what was the motivation behind that? This is so major to my husband.

Interesting. All right, 0800-DARLES-IT-M. Give us a call, 9696-TEX. How obsessed with One Direction were you in your teenage years? Posters, fan clubs, message boards, whatever it was. Maybe you went to all the concerts. Maybe you stalked hotels. Because you remember when they were... Yeah.

Whenever they were in the country, it was crazy. Yeah. We want to talk to people now who were absolutely obsessed with One Direction. Maybe still are. Maybe still are because it is today exactly 10 years since they came together. Danielle, how obsessed were you? Oh, I was pretty badly obsessed. Okay. Are you still now or have you kind of, no, moved obsessed were you? Oh, I was pretty badly obsessed. Okay, are you still now or have you kind of, no, moved away from that?

Died off, but whenever I see stuff like online, I get quite excited. Like this morning when I woke up and saw that post, I was like, oh my God. What about when Harry Styles brings out a music video? Oh yeah, I still love Harry. Got a big soft spot for Harry. Is he your favourite? Do you have a favourite or do you love them all equally? Oh no, I love Harry. Gotta love him. Harry's your... Yeah, he's definitely my favourite. I think Meghan's your

favourite. Danielle, how obsessed were you? What did you do? So me and my two best friends, we used to like go to Nana's house and use all her printer ink and print out pictures of Tumblr and I used to spend hours cutting

them out and I had the biggest collage on all four walls in my bedroom. My mum absolutely hated it. Yeah, we stayed in the hotel when they came here in 2013 and we actually bumped into Harry in the gym. Oh my

God! No! What, So you booked a room? Yep. We were 16. It was with our friend's mum. It was great. And what did you do? Was he just like, oh, how did they get through? He was really really lovely. We worked out with him for probably like an hour. We just left him. What?

But there were mirrors everywhere so you could see everything. And he was wearing this like kangaroo onesie. It was a bit weird, but that's fine. At the gym see everything. And he was wearing this, like, kangaroo onesie. It was a bit weird, but that's fine. At the gym? Yeah. And he totally wouldn't have known that you were just staring at him the whole time, eh? No, we were trying to be really cool.

Did you get a photo? And when he was leaving, he actually came up to us and was like, thanks for letting me work out. Do you have tickets to the show tomorrow night? And we were like, yeah, we do. And he goes, okay, do you want to come backstage before the show and hang out and we were like yes um i'm dead okay so then you hung out backstage yeah so before the concert his um bodyguard came and got us from our seats and we just went backstage and we got some pictures with him and and yeah and then he

knew he we told him where we were sitting during the concert so he was constantly coming over to our side and like waving at us and asking if we were okay and it was just

on this like 16 year old me I was like I was living I was living Wow What a story What is life

What is life Alright hey guys And did all the other fans turn on you because that seemed to be the thing, right? If one lot of fans got some attention, everybody else hated them. Oh, people were making accounts on Twitter

to hate Just On Us. It was insane. Oh my God. Talking about your One Direction obsessions, because 10 years today, since they came together as a band, midday today, Georgia coming down the biggest One Direction songs, and you can actually comment to win ZM Online on the Facebook page as well

for a One Direction prize pack just to relive your obsession. Yeah. So many text messages and stories coming in. Someone's saying, my friend, who I'm very good friends with now, came to her first day of boarding school dressed as Louis Tomlinson. And it was love at first sight.

She hasn't lived it down, but we are friends now. Okay. That's just so, we were so obsessed. We literally talked last night about how obsessed we were. We'd get every CD,

every record, every piece of merchandise. And as an adult, we don't care about anything half as much as our favourite bands when we were teenagers. I had a Harry Styles cardboard cutout. I wish I still had it. I don't know what happened there. Yeah. Where do you even get one of those from? Also, your parents would probably take that off you

if they walked in and you were smirching it, right? As a parent, I think so. Or it was soggy bits on it. No, oh! I mean on the lips! On the lips! Because you kissed him on the lips! Wow, you are disgusting.

Can you just see? Because you were smirching it. Don't be disgusting. Mom, we need to take this back to the shop. It's gone soggy. You just said you were smooching it. I paid $200 for that. I'm having an aspirin check and I don't have an answer.

Breathe. I need a paper bag. That's why you should always laminate your cardboard cutouts. Scotch card them. It'll stop stains and dribbles. That's what the furniture store promised me. laminate your cardboard cutouts. Scotch card them. It'll stop stains and dribbles. That's what the furniture store promised me. Wow.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here. ZM.