ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 23rd September 2020

Episode Date: September 22, 2020

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Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe Coffee for great tasting barista made coffee on the go. Just on this page of the paper here, all the real estate agents that work for a specific real estate company. If you had to, which one would you? Do you ever play that game if you're like on the plane? Or no, or you're on the plane and you're like, okay, you have to sleep with one person on this plane. Who is it? And then you're like, you look at them all come on and you're like, yes,

but if I go too early, what if there's someone hotter? I know. And that's the thing. And once you pick one, you can keep watching, but you're stuck with the one. So what do you do? What do you do? You always go for the guy who's got the most expensive bags,

like carry-on bags. But what if you see a guy at the start and you're like, expensive bags, but there might be better bags, and then you wait till the end and there's no one there, so you just literally have to take the last person that's rushed onto the plane. I'm not thinking about a long-term thing with them, Megan. You're saying you're only hooking up with them. That's the game.

You're not marrying them. Okay. Right. like it's a quickie in your mind yeah you're gonna be stuck with do you ever do it where you have to hold your breath till you see someone you'd sleep with no and you're like no you go earlier yeah I'd be happy with that that's why sometimes you walking down the street you just see people that are close to passing out yeah they're playing the game you're like right here there was breathe when they go past me yeah that's probably why people always go oh my god thank you be holding your breath you saw somebody sleep I shut the page you didn my God, thank you. You're holding your breath until you saw somebody you sleep with. I guess not.

What a great game. I shut the page. You didn't get to pick. Oh, you didn't tell me who you would from the real estate team. Is there a? Oh, goodness. Debra. There's a Debbie there. Oh, this is a fun game.

Oh, my God, there is. Is there a Matt? You were saying that you'd go by. No, I was just trying to name names on the page. I was just reading out some names. Sandra. Sandra. Can't see a Sandra. There's a Karen. There's a Joanne. No, I was just trying to name names on the page. She was just reading out some names. Sandra? Sandra? Can't see a Sandra.

There's a Karen. There's a Joanne. There's a Susan. Did you say Susan just before? No. Okay, if you had to do it on which one? Is there any youngish dudes? Yep, there's a couple of youngish dudes.

Okay. But, yeah. It's just a challenging situation. I mean, those photos are never Their best angle are they But the good news is If you did hook up with one of these real estate agents But you didn't want to like a long term thing with them They're always at open homes on the weekends

So that's a perfect time to go out and cheat on them It really is ZM Hit music Live ZM Flesh, Fawn and Megan The podcast Good morning It really is. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleece, Warner, Megan. Oh, so jarring just moments ago when I realised it's Wednesday, not Thursday.

Oh, what a smack in the chops. It really is. Yep. I just thought it was Wednesday, so I don't have anything to add. So you're fine. It's particular. Confusion that you're currently experiencing. Yeah. Okay.

But I will say. Yep. My old flatmate was Sam Owen. Tell her. Tell her. Of course, referencing the moment last night in the debate where Judith Collins said Talofa. Yeah.

Most people are saying that she won the debate in the media. A bit more bitey. A bit more mongrel. Crusher came out. Bit more muckerel. Bit more dicey. Yeah. Crusher came out. It took her 10 minutes. She came in very smiley and pleasant. Yeah.

And that wore off very quickly, didn't it? Yeah. Oh, well. Right, so there's another couple coming up, isn't there? There's a TV3 one. Yeah. In like a week. On the 15th, like two days before.

I know, I couldn't believe that when they said that they asked JMM, that's what I call her, Jessica Much-McCart. Right. And she said,

yeah, 15th, two days before the election. I was like, seems eerie. How jazzed was JMM during that? JMM was, she was pinging. She was fizzing.

Also, could they not afford a podium for John Campbell? Nah, he doesn't function well on a podium. He doesn't do a podium. He's a Roma. He doesn't like to be restricted.

Nah, he's a Roma. Shit, he's a good broadcaster. I'll say it. I've said it once. I've said it twice. You're a big fan. I've said it thrice. He's a good man.

Personable. The top six is coming up. Yeah, the idea has been floated that David Seymour and the chums over at the ACT Party have said that rich people should be allowed to come to New Zealand.

Proviso, they pay for their own isolation at specific rich people isolation facilities. Right, like a Queenstown, middle of nowhere, central Otago. Bingo.

Six star resort. Correctamundo. So, today's top six is the top six features of super rich people isolation. Compared to standard government supplied isolation. I doubt they're opening their door at 8am to a brown paper bag with miscellaneous eggs in it. No, no.

There'll be no mystery as to what is meant for a meal. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast ZM Air New Zealand have announced that coffee, tea coffee? Coffee, tea? Coffee, tea, water? Biscuit?

We'll be back. Biscuit? Oh yeah, biscuit or chuppies. The cassava chuppies. Biscuit. We'll be back. Biscuit. Oh, yeah, biscuit or chuppies. The cassava chuppies. Biscuit or chuppies. They have announced that they will be bringing back the food and beverages from Thursday. So that'll mean level two for Auckland as of midnight tonight. And the rest of the country already at level one. But you've still got to wear a mask

on board. Okay. Which is why people are... Small sacrifice for a chippy. How are you going to do it? You're allowed to take your mask off. Do they give you a little straw with your tea? You should have to eat your biscuit

and your chips like a horse with a meal bag. You know how they get their meal bag strapped to their face and they're like, what? You just slide your chip

in behind them all. to a horse? Yeah. Have you ever seen a horse meal bag? No, why do they do that? So it's strapped to the horse's face.

It's so every horse, because if you, if they're sharing an area, of course, of course, of course, of course, if they're sharing an area,

one horse might be bulshy and like get out of it and eat all the food in the bin and then it gets fat and the other one gets skinny. So I think the old meal bag was sake of ease and also then you know the horse was eating it. Mum and Dad have got the problem with the cats at home. One of the cats will eat the other cat's biscuits. That's why I have to tie up the goats every time I take hay into the paddock. It's because the goats are just bastards and they'll just boot everybody else around. How do they get to the little bits of hay

at the bottom of the bag? Just kind of flick it up. Well they can put their head on the ground and push their face down into it. Right. Well could you imagine the Air New Zealand flight attendant pouring the chips into your meal bag?

And everyone's got a feed bag strapped to their face? No, you just slide the open chippy packet behind your mask. Right. Well, apparently a spokesperson said people have missed the service in Kauru hour services. I don't know if you've ever been on a flight. It's like the business times, like morning and night. When business people are flying.

Yeah, so that's when you get like little bits of cheese and crackers and wine and stuff. And wine and stuff. In the morning. Well, not wine in the morning, but you get like a muffin or something, like a hot muff. I don't know, or a croissant or something like that. A hot muff first thing in the morning. I see you're right.

If you're a business person after Wellington, that's not going to be until the entire country's at level one. No hot muff. Or croissants or anything. Or wine. Just the normal tea, coffee, water or chappies or a little biscuit. God, those businessmen will be aching for the return of the blueberry muffin. Megan, grow up.

I see what you've done there. I concur. Grow up. That see what you've done there. I concur. Grow up. That is awful slang. Imagine, well, first of all, imagine having a beach house. It would be great, wouldn't it? Just for a minute. Oh, wait.

Your family does have a beach house in Kainteri that you've never invited us to. That's not a beach house. Now, your second house is in a trust? Leader's Debate reference. If you missed that, there's going to be a few jokes that go over your head this morning. We'll try to keep up. We'll try to bring you into the loop there. But anyway.

It's not a beach house. It's just in Kaiteri. Well, that's a beach house. It's a house to the beach. No, but it's not like by the beach. You have to walk to the beach. How long's the walk? Like 10, 15 minutes.

Oh. Yeah, Kiteri's a big place. Oh, pov-o. I thought everything in Kiteri was by the beach, though. I mean, technically it is. Like a five-minute walk. It's a five-minute walk. You know Megan walks slowly.

Near the beach. Don't try to pov to pop up your beach house. Don't say it's a beach house because I imagine a beach house is like right by the beach. No, you could have a beach house that's just in a beach suburb. It's a batch. We've never been given the keys to this batch. Dude, I haven't been to that batch

for, I don't know, 15 years. Really? Something like that. Why do you keep telling us you've got a batch? Well, it's the family batch. Why are you trying to Skype to us, but now you're trying to downplay your wealth? When have I ever Skyped to you about a batch I never go to?

Don't be ashamed if you're working hard, or whatever, if your family's having a bad time. It's very 70s. I think the couch is like orange. Oh, right, okay. So I'm being like, it's retro. You've got this idea in your head and it's really not accurate. Is it on the burb?

Airbnb? What's burb? Airbnb. Airbnb. Don't think so. Okay. So imagine you pop out to the Piteri mansion. Yeah.

And you are like, this is weird. Someone seems to be living here. Because that is a situation of a person who owns a Hawke's Bay retreat. Okay. Though I've never heard of this. I'm not overly familiar with the beautiful Hawke's Bay beaches. I haven't spent a lot of time there. Why Marama?

Okay. Which I believe Marama is moon and Y is water. So maybe it reflects a moon or a car. Oh, beautiful. I've got to take a picture of my head now. That sounds lovely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little beach fire going on?

Oh, yeah. Well, no, but there's a fire band. Have you got a permit for that? It's down in the sand. It's closer to the water than it is the tinder dry grass. It's on the sand. The embers won't get taken by the air. Well, yeah, it is throwing those little fire fairies up.

And devastate the sand dunes. Beautiful. That's a rare bird that only lives in the area. The Vaughn girl. Hey, get out of it. Enjoy the moon.

Well, that was a situation when this guy rocked up to his beach house. A beach front, by the way, so a proper beach house. Oh, so he's doing it properly, Megan.

He's not back on in the suburbs. Ten minutes walk. Oh, God. So he was like, this is weird, walked around the front of the property, found a 44-year-old standing on his lawn. Okay. He'd locked the doors.

And so this guy had been living in this beach house. Right. He's yet to determine how long he'd been living in this beach house. Right. He's yet to determine how long he'd been living there for, but he believes it was in the vicinity of six days at least. Oh, right. Okay. He'd slept in their bed. He'd made himself at home.

Had a couple of laptops. Right. He was like, what are you doing here? He kind of restrains him. And then he has the jingle in his pocket. Not like a radio jingle, like a jingle jangle. He had 50 keys in his pocket. And apparently he'd just been walking around trying.

Like he just walked up to their beach house. How did he get all that? Did he raid one of those like a cleaning place or like a batch care place? Maybe. Right? Because that's what I was like. You just can't swipe a handful of keys from the Mr. Minute chaos because they haven't been cut. Maybe. Right? Because that's what I was like, you just can't swipe a handful of keys from the Mr. Minute chaos because they haven't been cut.

Yeah. He had to have known that those keys were cut for somewhere. And anyway, he had set up home and would not tell the owner anything about why he was in the house. This guy, like, the owner pretty much restrained him and held

him there until the police arrived. Wow. And he said, while we were waiting for the police, we talked about politics. Oh, everybody knows that's one of the subjects

to stay away from. Yeah. He knew a lot about politics. He knew all about Jacinda Ardern, knew she'd worked for Tony Blair. He was no mug

and he had a couple of laptops and he wouldn't say anything about, he was no mug, and he had a couple of laptops. And he wouldn't say anything about why he was in the house. Because it was a lovely beach house. Yeah, I mean, that goes without saying. Yeah. Was he trying to do the squatters thing? That's not a thing in New Zealand.

Squatters rights. No, that's not a thing in New Zealand, no. But you do that in the UK. You've got to be there for, what is it, six months? Yeah. And then the place is yours. That's mad. It's old school squatters rights.

That just proves people have got too much land if they can have something and not go there for six months. How flash was this house? Beachfront, $2 million beachfront house. It looks like a beautiful little area. He's probably playing it down like Megan. Oh, it's got an orange couch. You wouldn't want to go there.

It's a five second couch. You wouldn't want to go there. It's a five-second walk to the beach. Hello there and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. Let's pop, first of all, tonight to the Farringdon community. This is within Rolleston. Okay. Emerald.

Emerald. It's like emerald, but it's got no D on the end. Emerald. Emerald. Emerald. What a nice name to say. Emerald. Emerald.

Yeah. Writes on the Farringdon community in Roddison, New Zealand page Okay, random question but has someone seen a cat out and about today in a pink top? If so, did you take it off? Laugh face

but then pondering face He's shown up at home without it and needs it for his skin condition to stop him scratching So it's not a we've gone to Kmart and got an outfit and needs it for his skin condition to stop him scratching. Aww. Aww. So it's not a, we've gone to Kmart and got an outfit.

No. It's a, he needs it. Where's our outfit gone? The outfit may be from Kmart, but that's... Right. Not the most important part of the outfit. The most important part of the outfit is that the cat has a skin irritation and this jersey stops the scratching. But surely if the cat's like slithered between a fence or something,

it could have just come off. Oh, you think it could have slipped out of his own, his or her own paint? Because Leo's not allowed outside with his jerseys on because they just come off outside and you find them in the bushes and stuff. Or you nearly mow it over with the lawnmower. No, he goes outside and he's like, Oh my God, what are you doing to me? I am a

laughing stock. Get this jumper off me. And then pulls it off. Dogs just love rolling and smelly things. Yeah. So they just make a real mess of his little, what is his little motley crew? He's got a denim jacket.

Patched denim jacket. Is's got a patched denim jacket. What is it? Is that a Motley Crue? What's the name of it? It was a whole lot of like 80s glam bands. Bark Samoth. Yeah. Funny dog.

Okay, it's funny dog. Silly dog though. Let's pop to the East Auckland Grabvine, shall we? Esther writes, a big thank you to the Casey Clinic in Pakuranga. Can't tag them, she says. Don't know why. When a treatment I was receiving from them

was showing no results due to my hair colour, they advised the best thing to do would be to stop the treatment and refund the payments I had made. Sorry, refund the payments I had made for future treatments. They could have just kept going with the treatments and kept the money,

but they put their clients' interests first. Amazing customer service. Clap. Peace sign. So, um, Brian, in the comments, writes, because we've all had laser,

and we know what laser takes to work, right? Is that what she's getting, laser? Yeah. Brian writes, so don't go to Casey Clinic. Their treatments obviously don't work to when Esther replies, I just didn't want to have to tell the world that my pubes are too blonde to work with the laser, but now I will. Yeah, because it doesn't work on... Yeah, it doesn't work on fine...

It needs to be a contrast so that the laser can pick up the... Yeah. Dark hair, light skin, right? That's the best contrast I have. Wow, I had a great result. Very dark pubes. Very coarse, dark. You were known dark pubes. Very coarse dark. You were known for pubes.

It was like a steelo pad. Don't say I was known for coarse pubes. You were known for coarse dark pubes. You brought that on yourself. Yeah, you did. You choked yourself there. Why? Not on yours.

Oh, Jesus. I need a drink of water. I can feel. I know it's all in my head, but I can feel one in my throat. Like a dangly. I can feel it. Yeah, I'm a dangly. I'm the dangly thing.

Right in the back of my throat. I'm dead. We'll try to move on. No promises. You may remember a post that went pretty nuts last week where a woman said she didn't like being referred to as a pakeha This is during Te Reo Māori language She's a kiwi

She said, I don't like being referred to as a pakeha It's a Maori word And I'm a Kiwi. To which another woman pointed out that Kiwi is indeed a Maori word also. Yeah. That was great. I saw that. There's been further investigation into Barbara who made the initial claim

that not only would it be called a pakeha. And to be completely honest, the more I learn, the more I read, the more I think this is a fake account. Yeah. Really? There are people out there that set up like a boomer looking account, like Barbara or something.

Yeah. And just troll people, like for a full fun. I'm thinking that. I don't know what's more disappointing actually. That she exists or she's fake. But you know she does exist in other forms. Yeah, yeah.

Of course. So, Barbara has posted another post, and this is what makes me think, along with a bit further investigation, that no one could be living in this much of a la-la land. On the Invercargill buy and sell page, Barbara, the same poster, writes, for sale, eggs with peanut butter and jam, $20.

And you can see a photo here of how you would make deviled eggs. And you know I love deviled eggs. You hard-boiled an egg, cut it in half, scoop out the yolk, you make the yolk into the mix, and you pump the yolk back in. The yolk does not make it back into the egg. The egg is in half with the cavity. The cavity is then filled with jam and peanut butter. Now, eggs filled with peanut butter and jam,

good for kids' birthday parties, can do a tray of 12 for $20. That's another indicator to me. No one's selling a tray of 12 for $20. P.M. for details, I also do weddings. She could be real. She's not real. Can't be.

I'm going to have to do more investigation into it, for sure. But many people took her up on her offer. Right. Someone said, do these things have a name? I'm assuming it's not a mouldy name. Or it is a mouldy name, but you just don't recognise it as a mouldy name. Yeah. And no bites as yet at any actual 4Real purchases.

But it looks disgusting. Yeah, I bet. It looks like poos in an egg. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to us. Pop on over. We're FEMZM.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So stress is really bad for our body and a study has found that we need to do the exact opposite to get rid of it. Which makes sense. So you just do nothing? Well you can relax for 10 minutes but they've found something even more

effective is to get a massage just for 10 minutes and it releases the physiological, no, the psychological and physiological relaxation. Right. What do they call it? The penis. Penis?

I think you're trying to say penis there. I was trying to say penis. A 10-minute massage will release the penis. I found. Especially if it's somebody else giving me the massage. Yeah. Because, you know, on your endorsement, Vaughn, I got the massage gun.

And that's been so good. You haven't used it on your penis, have you? It's very rough. Absolutely not. I wonder if that would be the same. Because you're doing it to yourself. But you feel so... It wouldn't have the same relaxation.

It's a different relaxation, but it's pretty good. Have you pushed yours so hard into yourself that it stopped working? No. I don't know if that's pretty good. Have you pushed yours so hard into yourself that it stopped working? No. I don't know if that's a good thing. Neither. But I guess we'll find out. Yeah. What's happening?

That red light was flashing. The fire alarm. Oh, is that the fire alarm? Oh, God. I'm not in the mood for a practice evacuation today. It's a nice day for a practice evacuation. You're going to say that on the day when we actually have to evacuate. And then we'll just leave you behind.

There's a window. I'll smash my way out of it. Right, so get a massage. Ten minutes. Ten minutes. Executive Intern Anya, is it true you get a massage once a week? Yes.

From? What do you mean? Oh, Kevin. Kevin, the same person every week. Yeah, Easton Simply Massage. Kevin, he does a wonderful job. Hashtag non-spawn. A quick 30 minutes.

Oh, my goodness me. That'll sort you out. Is it a full body or just a back? No, I get head, neck, shoulder, back. 30 minutes, 30 bucks. You can't get a better deal. Shoulder, back. That's pretty good.

Every week, though. Evan, do you ever think of spoiling yourself and going for a 60-minute? Sometimes. And is a 60-minute $60 or a 60-minute? Yes. Well, plus $5 with oil. Oh, they always try to upsell you with the oil, eh? Because it makes their job easier.

So when you say no oil, you can see them go, but it's it. You can't tell me that's $5 worth of oil. No, but it's nicer when their hands glide as opposed to like, Have you been able to spot Kevin in level 2.5? Oh, yeah. You've been able to get a good look?

Oh, yeah, big time. Okay. Big time. We just both wear masks. What? But yeah, it's great. That's hot. So do you swear by this for your health and wellness?

Yeah, because my friend who has absolutely no medical backing whatsoever once told me that massages prevent colds if you get a regular massage. Oh, what? And I've been going to Kevin for two years and I have not had a cold in that time. What the ever? You haven't had a cold in that long?

No, not me. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. From the ZM Think Tank. This is the Top Six. Hello there. An idea been floated that the super rich might return to New Zealand but pay for their own isolation entirely. They're quarantined. Yeah, and then they'd be able to go around the country just like normal tourists.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. So it's an idea to get the tourists returning to New Zealand. And they'll be the ones that spend big cash. But like, what are the, how are they going to have security? Or are they just rich people going to be trusted? Oh, they can't be trusted.

No. Yeah. Regardless of your wealth, you cannot be trusted. Yeah. You're a human. You're imperfect. You'll be like, oh yeah, I'll stay there for 14 days. I'll just nip down to the supermarket and get some pick and mix.

I've just really got to go to the servo. Yeah. But it's okay. I won't be there long. Well, the top six things rich people isolation will feature. Oh, okay. Today's top six. And let's jump right in with number six.

A virtual reality polo. So you strap on the old headset. Yeah. And it can be like you're riding out there on your horse with your stick and your ball. What do they call those pants? Jodpiz. Jodpiz. Jodpiz.

Jodpiz. Jodpiz. What did you think they were? Jollipiz. Jollipiz. Jollipiz. I've been doing Jollipiz my whole life. Right.

Jodpiz. Because that's a long, two weeks isolation, it's a long time to go without the polo. Yeah. Well, you can mount the side of the couch. Yep. And pretend that's your horse. And that gives you the feeling.

And then, yeah, get a broom. Well, you don't want to touch the broom. That's for the help. Oh, okay. Order a special short polo stick. You'll be allowed to bring your own polo stick. I, of course, forgot that the ceilings of their rooms are likely to be 12 foot tall,

so you'll be able to ride the couch and do the polo. Number five on the list of the top six rich people isolation features. An in-hotel TV introduction video to Mike Hosking, Mark Richardson, Sean Plunkett and Pete Williams and any other sort of basic New Zealand versions of Fox News types. Yeah, okay. That support your views. Of course, how dare anybody else

who's not as rich as you have one? Well, that would be quite nice to have a call from Mike Hosking every morning. Yeah. Oh, you're thinking a call? I was just thinking a video introduction explaining who's who. Oh, right.

Now I was thinking a daily call. How nice would that be? He'd do that for the right amount of money? He probably would. He would. Number four on the list of the top six things rich people isolation will feature. Open the fridge. Oh, what's that?

Sound like a classic. Trying to make yourself seem like an everyday person drinking a beer that... Not a pure. A classic. Number three on the list of the top six things rich people isolation will feature. Pillow menu, baby. Pillow menu. But the pillows get burnt after you're finished

and you can change them as many times as you want. And it's not just like lavender scented pillows or sandalwood scented pillows. There's like cocaine scented pillows. Stock market scented pillows. Oh my God, yeah. Cuban cigars. You can smell the footsie. Oh Oh the footsie's going through the roof

I'll sleep like a baby tonight Yeah Number two on the list of the top six things Rich people isolation will feature Replays of all the great America's Cup races Oh yeah okay Because rich people love yachting They love a boat race

Yeah they do And number one on the list of the top six things Rich people love yachting. They love a boat. Sailing. They love a boat race. Yeah, they do. And number one on the list of the top six things rich people isolation will feature, all the prescription medication you could waverstick at. You got your Tremies. You got your Zloppies. Zoppies. Zoppies.

You got your Valiums, your Ritalins. Yeah, uppers, downers, everything you need. Oh, uppers, downers, sidewaysers. Yeah, few Panadols, a couple of Neurofins. Just because you're not at your home, it doesn't mean you shouldn't self-medicate like you are. Welcome to Rich People Isolation. That's today's top six. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast.

She kept this pretty quiet in her arts and crafts corner until it all went horribly wrong. This morning admitting that maybe, what would you say this on TikTok, Pinterest, YouTube? TikTok. TikTok. TikTok, because I'm down with the kids. That's what people who are down with

the kids say. Yeah. Executive intern on you, down with the kids. Down with the kids. So there's a trend going around, I've seen it quite a bit where you mix baking powder, paint and water together. Why? And then take old glassware

and then put it on top and it gives it this beautiful like terracotta-esque sheen. Well, like a drinking glass. Anything. Or a vase. Well, old vase. I got a couple of old vases

from the Sally's and then I found an old jar. Like an old AG preserving jar? No. You know the old AG preserving jars? What's that? Oh, it's a big jar. She wasn't in the war, Gwen.

Doesn't understand. Oh, isn't in the war either. You have to seal when you do home preserving. Yeah, and you put the hot thing in, then you boil the lids and you pop them on, and you preserve your beetroot for a winter beetroot. You still buy them. Right, and so the idea is that you're, it sounds very, I'm just going to be honest, it sounds tacky.

Yeah. Does it look good though online? It looks great online. What does a terracotta sheen? Like it gives it like a bit of texture. And I did it. I'm not sold. And I did it. I'm not sold. And I did it.

And I'll just, I'll send a photo to the group chat. Oh, yes, please. Of the result. How to make DIY ceramic effect. What the hell is that? Even Jared. Even Jared. Oh, my God.

Yeah, hideous. It's supposed to look like a terracotta pot. What the f... That's awful. My boyfriend Andy thinks it looks like a paper mache bar. I think I went in too hot with the baking powder because it was one of those things that's like, oh, that's not enough, that's not enough.

Holy moly, that's four times as much as I need. Have you got a photo of what you wanted it to look like? Didn't you say it has a nice sheen? Well, it was supposed to. It's very matte. That's about eight coats deep because I just kept going. Oh, my God. Then why did you choose like a lavender purple?

Well, because I just sent the before photo. So it was a hot pink to start with. And I thought, well, I've got to go somewhere fairly neutral. Oh, wait, that's what you wanted it to look like? No, that's before. That's before. And then I've butchered it. I thought it might be... Oh, wait, that's what you wanted it to look like. No, that's before. That's before. And then I've butchered it. Wow.

That was before what? Before she put the stuff on it. That was when I bought it from the Sally's. That's what it looked like when you bought it? Yeah. You would have been better to leave it like that. That's what I realised in hindsight, Bourne. But I was trying to be creative.

You should do it the other way around. You should say, look at these horrible matte glasses I bought and then look what they look like now and then show them in that state. This is why on Netflix, Nailed It is one of my favourite cooking shows because this is exactly you know, it's like the Pinterest

fails, all the baking Pinterest fails. They have these amazing creations of cakes and stuff. It's the same every time though. That show yes. They should do Nailed It but it's not just limited to cakes it's a variety of crafts. Yeah they should branch out because it's very same same. You know that someone's

going to mess up the cake pops. The problem is with those Pinterest and TikTok they're like so quick. They make it look so easy you're like I can do that and then you can't. Well as executive intern Ania's found it's not easy is it? And I thought it was going to take me eight seconds. It didn't. Well, as executive intern Anja's found, it's not easy, is it? And I thought it was going to take me eight seconds.

It didn't. It was way longer. Yeah, and how much money did you spend on this? You had to buy the vases. Probably $8. That's not bad. Daylight robbery. What did you pay this on to?

As a parent now, I'm thinking about you just walking away from this and a half and your mum having to clean up after you. Is that straight on the kitchen bench? No. I did it on one piece of paper. There was up after you. Is that straight on the kitchen bench? No. I did it on one piece of paper. There was some paper down. All right, well, give us a call.

0800-DARLS-IT-M 9696. We want to open up the phone lines right now and take the stories of those times when you thought you would try an online trend. Maybe something you saw on Pinterest? A little DIY project? Yes. A little artsy crafts thing?

Yes. And it ended miserably or horribly? And just a mess and maybe you just binned it all? You watch the tutorial video and you're like, yeah. We want to know when your online attempts went wrong. Producer Anya has seen this on TikTok where you are supposed to make a vase look like pottery or something,

but she failed dismally. It looks like a lilac mess. Yeah, it's, yeah. They make it look so easy and you're like, yeah, I can definitely do that. Yeah. So when did you try something that you saw online and it failed miserably? Rach, what did you try? I was trying to cut glass because it looked really easy on YouTube.

But it wasn't? I was doing the wine bottles and making cups out of them. I've seen that. I've seen that. So you get a hot wire, don't you? No, I went to my tent and got like a special tool. And even the lady who showed me where the tool was was like, I've done this, it's really easy.

And so I was like, okay, surely I can do this, because, you know, the lady at Mitre 10 can do this, and it's on YouTube. But then I just wanted to cut a piece of glass just to kiss myself, just a straight line first. Yep. But I didn't know you shouldn't use old glass so all right flip the glass and then applied the pressure and it should have just cracked

um like the youtube videos but it didn't crack straight and went straight through my wrist wait did you did you ever get to try making a wine bottle glass? No, my husband took the tool away and told me I could never use it again. Oh, my God. You got banned from the glass cutter. Fair enough. Rach, thanks you call, Rach. Oh, no.

I've hung up on Carl. Accidentally. We'll call Carl back, shall we? You're all right, thanks. Some other... Or pressed on the button. I also just found

the video of the woman that did the glass vase to the terracotta pot. Oh, what? And you was attempting? Still looked pretty... Still looked pretty shit

to be honest. I don't know. Carl, what did you try that you'd seen online? The famous TikTok pancake. The air fryer pancake. Oh, God, there's so many air fryer videos. They make me want one.

How do you make pancakes in an air fryer, though? Have you not seen the TikTok for it? Nah, mate, I'm not spending too much time on TikTok. Oh, mate, I'm not spending too much time on TikTok. Oh, mate. You're missing out. There's this TikTok that's going around and it's got a jingle. And it's something like, pancakes are easier when you cook them in the air fryer. And I thought, great.

Holy wow. I've got to find it now. That was a great rendition. Okay. And what? So yours were? The wife says, oh, how about pancakes for breakfast? I was like, yep, sweet, you make the batter, and I'll cook them up. Yep.

So she whipped up the batter, and I whipped out the air fryer, and she's like, what are you doing? I said, oh, I showed her the TikTok. Oh, wow, this is amazing. Yeah. Yeah, I know, yeah. I did do the jingle, but I'm not going to do it again.

Right, okay. So anyway, so I followed the instructions of this TikTok, and after 10 or 12 minutes, pulled them out. Yeah, but not easier. That's so much easier in the pan. 10 or 12 minutes. The basic premise is that you layer baking paper with pancake over and over and over. Oh, so you're making multiple in one. Yeah.

And then you air fry it and it cooks it and so you get like a stack of pancakes with baking paper between them. Yeah, perfect. I do. But what they don't tell you is you probably have to make your batter much the same as the same consistency as cement. Cement. Right. So as you put more and more in, the same consistency as cement. Cement.

Right. So as you put more and more in, it doesn't wash the layers out to a wafer thin. Just an absolute shamble. Yeah. People are wondering now if you're on the big air fryer money, like big farmer money. Oh, no. No, you're not a salesperson.

I wasn't a salesperson. I'm hanging over the edge, so I've put it there. Don't worry. And then once you do that, you're not a salesperson. I've got a handle hanging over the edge, so I've put it there. Don't worry. And then once you do that, you start singing. Pancakes are easier when you cook them in the air fryer. Let's go. Pancakes are easier when you put them in the air fryer. Woo-hoo.

That's the song you're talking about? Yeah, I don't like it anymore. It's tarnished. It's tarnished. Yeah, brilliant. Hey, Carl, thanks for your call. Some messages in. Somebody else said that woman who said that when she was getting the glass cutter at Mitre 10

and the lady said to her, oh, I've done that. We just all say that at Mitre 10. Most of us haven't done it. When you come in and you're like, you've got questions about craft, we all say, yeah, we've done that, but we haven't. That's just call to sales. Wow, brilliant. That's good.

I tried bleaching my own hair as lockdown ended. Oh, no. I think wranganger is what someone yelled at me in a car from a car oh you need a toner babes yeah 7.23

joining us on the show next from the TV show Farmer Wants A Wife Farmer Harry I'm so excited you're a big fan everyone here Farmer Harry Styles

yeah okay better than that wouldn't that be nice Flesh, Vaughan and Megan You're a big fan. Everyone here... It's Farmer Harry Styles. Yeah, okay. Look at that. Wouldn't that be nice? Well, it plays on TVNZ too. Monday nights at 8.45. You can catch it on TVNZ On Demand. Farmer wants a wife. We're joined on the phone by Farmer Harry

from the Farmer Wants a Wife. Good morning, Harry. Good morning. How are you going? Good. So, you've struggled to find morning. How are you going? Good. So you've struggled to find love. How do you say your hometown? Goolgowie.

Goolgowie. That's how we say it. That's what we thought. So in Goolgowie, you haven't had any luck? No, no, no. All the good ones have been snapped up before me. So, yeah, I'm out here on my own. How many people live in Gilgaui anyway?

Oh, it's only about 250 people. So if you got on Tinder in Gilgaui, would anyone even be on there? Oh, there's close towns, yeah. They probably would be a bit around.

But, yeah, it's a fair way away. It's probably, yeah, 100 k's or more, yeah. Oh, that's a big radius. You'd have to really throw that circle. Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm not much. It's probably, yeah, 100km or more, yeah. Oh, that's a big radius. You'd have to really throw that circle. Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm not much into that sort of thing anyway, though.

So, yeah, no, I don't have to worry about that too much. Okay. And you are ready to, like, launch into this. You're ready for marriage. You're ready for babies, the whole hog. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, no, running out of time, I suppose. And, yeah, no, definitely get into it.

I've got such a good spot out here and a good life, and it's silly not to share it with someone, I suppose and yeah, nah, definitely get into it. I've got such a good spot out here and a good life and it's silly not to share it with someone, I suppose. Harry, you're like a true blue farmer, no BS. Like you're going on a dating show, sure you've got eight women in your group but you're surrounded by like a whole bunch of women. Is it hard work? Is it draining? It's absolutely exhausting. You do, you just got to adapt, I suppose,

and it brings out the sides of you, I suppose, that you're not used to. But it's, yeah, it's definitely different, but you just run with it and you just got to follow your gut and, yeah, see where you end up. Because, can we just talk about Madison for a minute? So straight away you were like, wow, tears already. I wasn't quite prepared for that.

And Madison has had a few tears and then she left and then suddenly she's back on the show like all guns blazing again. Does that make you weary of her? Yeah, definitely. You know, it makes me feel, you know, worried and whether it is genuine or what it is. Yeah, I definitely had a lot of those thoughts going, so. Do you and the other farmers get along or spend much time together?

Yeah, no, definitely. All those other boys, we're all good mates and, yeah, going to be lifelong friends, I think. It's sort of good to catch up with one another every now and then because they're the only folks that know what you're going through and you can bounce ideas off and see if you're on the right track, I suppose. Have you had any interest from outside now that you're a TV celebrity? Have you had women... I mean, do you even have Instagram?

I was going to say sliding into your DMs or getting in contact with you? Yeah, no, I do. I do have Instagram and it's been pretty interesting. Not many people wanted to have much to do with my love life once upon a time, but now it seems like it's a hot topic and everyone wants to have a piece of it. It's definitely a bit different. You do get noticed here and there. So, you know, I suppose that's what comes with it, I suppose.

So what do you think about Carlana stirring the pot with Alex and Jess? Yeah, it's sort of interesting to watch, I suppose. I didn't know any about that until I heard and see that. So, yeah, it's her just taking her mate back, I suppose. And, you know, she's just trying to be honest. But, yeah, I suppose drama, you don't need that. A lot less drama would be better off. Because that's what I always wonder watching these shows.

Watching it back, you get an insight on what people are talking about when you're not around. Yeah. Has it made you change your opinion on anyone? Yeah, definitely. You sort of, you do, you sort of, you see someone from a different point of view and it makes you definitely rethink things, I suppose,

and look at things differently. But yeah, it's interesting to watch it back, that's for sure. And what about friends and family and the rest of the people from cool yep they're all pretty supportive and definitely um you know you know they're happy and um just happy i've done something like this you know it's good for the community it's got everyone speaking i suppose in pretty bad bad drought at the moment at that time i suppose and um yeah it's just good to see the town pretty happy and buzzing and give them something else to smile and laugh about i suppose um but they're

just proud you know a lot of your mates they think they wouldn't be able to do something like this they sort of can't believe i've actually done it so it's sort of yeah sort of one of those but no it's all good i think i think it's brave harry like, sort of one of those. But, no, it's all good, I think. I think it's brave, Harry, like putting yourself out there and really going for it. Far different situation than you're used to at the sheep yards. Yeah, no, definitely, definitely out of my comfort zone. But, you know, you've got to do these things every now and then. I got signed up by a mate's missus and, you know,

I just snowboarded from there and, you know, I thought, why not give it a crack, you know. So, yeah, it definitely taught me a lot about my own self as well. So it's been all good for me. Oh, awesome. Well, I wish you all the best of luck. We love watching you. Harry, good luck.

Unreal, guys. Thank you very much. Cheers, mate. He's already everyone's cute uncle, Dr. Ashley Bloomfield, and it seems like this would be something that's cute uncle, Dr Ashley Bloomfield, and it seems like this would be something that your cute uncle would mess up as well. Right. Someone maybe wrote this down in front of Dr Ashley Bloomfield and he read it verbatim as he saw it yesterday.

The other thing to point out is that if there are these large events, indoor events outside of Auckland, there's almost certainly an opportunity for Aucklanders to attend those in Auckland. They're unlikely to be travelling, for example, to a Benet concert. That's so cute! A Benet concert. Benet.

I can see why it's spelled like Renee. It's exactly the same as the name Renee. I mean, she's only gone and sold out all of her concerts that start next week. He definitely would have heard the songs. He's connected that what's written in front of him is that person who sings those songs,

and her name's Benny. It's spelled Benay. Benay. I'm with him on this one. Pretty cute. So cute. It's pretty, pretty cute. Oh, gosh, like.

Oh, I just. I'm not having a go at him. No. It's pretty, pretty cute. Oh, gosh, Luke. I just... I'm not having a go at him. No. It's just cute. It's just a cute mistake. Right. Someone could have given him a heads up. Yeah.

If you're going to tell him to reference the Binet concert to say it right. It's written down in front of him. He reads... He's the Ron Burgundy of Director of Health. He reads what's on the autocue. Now, what has Benny? Her concerts start tomorrow or a week away. How's that?

Benay. Christchurch, her first show in all over the country. And we've got tickets. I believe we've got some tickets next week to her show. So make sure you're listening to win those. Next on the show, Fishy Tank, our search for the ultimate side hustle, and we've each picked one to be our finalists.

We're voting on those at the moment. We thought we'd help out our finalists, each with a radio ad that we have written for our side hustlers. Is there a prize for the best one? No, I'm just kidding. For the best ad. Maybe.

A couple of tickets to Bono. Well, we're after the ultimate side hustle and we have each picked one finalist from 400 entries. Which are functioning, by the way. You don't need to wait to support these businesses with one of them winning. Totally. Support along the way.

As well as many other side hustles happening. The finalists that I chose, we've each produced a radio ad. This was our task after the show yesterday. And we haven't heard each other's ads. We don't know what we've done. We've each produced a radio ad for our side hustle. Now, I'll go first. Okay.

Mine is Oh My Lolly, the side hustle. Now, this is Alison's side hustle where you subscribe and once a month you get sent a box of lollies and the lollies from all over the world, like different lollies that you wouldn't normally see in the supermarket. Right. And I've tried it, and I had a lot of lollies yesterday. A lot of lollies.

So, for this radio commercial, I'm going to ask people to really listen, okay? Because I've gone for an, you know, what's that ASMR vibe thing? ASMR, yep. Yeah, that was my vibe for this ad. So I'm going to ask that maybe we'll let the ad, I'm going to start the ad now. Yeah. But you might want to turn up your headphones

or the stereo. Okay. Okay, but that means when the ad finishes, we're going to have to come in quiet. Yeah. Because otherwise people will still have it up loud. Sure, but that's on them for being, you've got to be quick.

Is it? Okay, I'd like to present now my 30-second radio commercial for Oh My Lolly. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Oh, my lolly. Dude, what the...

That was so great, wasn't it? That was yum. It was simple. Keep it simple. I'm so sorry. I feel so bad that she got stuck with you. What do you mean? Alison, I think we've got Alison.

We've got Alison on the line. Sorry about that. I'm sorry. That was great, wasn't it, Alison? That was great. That was really great. You could hear how delicious your lollies were. Yeah, how juicy it was.

That was great. Yes. Oh, it creeped me out. Awesome. It's running my ear holes. You are welcome, Alison. Thanks, Fletch. Brilliant, there you go.

That's going to get people signing up for lollies. Did you not hear how delicious? To be fair, we did eat some of your lollies yesterday and they were pretty good. They were really yum lollies, but I don't think the ad really got across. Well, Vaughan, it's now your turn. Thank you, Alison.

It's now your turn. Now, your side hustle. Golden Years Training. Now, this is where they help old people with the internet and technology. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Technology. You know, just because they're a little bit older and they might not understand it straight off the bat, it doesn't mean they're useless.

It doesn't mean we should give up on them and stop communicating with them. That's all they want. Okay. And so this is the ad for Golden Years Training. I'm aged care enthusiast and guy who will flirt with your nana, Vaughn Smith. Since the 1990s, I've been dealing with these sorts of questions.

How do I get the TV back on the TV? A lovely man just called to say my computer has a virus. How do I give him access? What's a Wi-Fi? Why are there pound signs in front of words? Where does the printer ink go? Well, let someone else answer all of these questions and show the people in your life who are wise with years

but not wise with tech which way up the mouse goes, where the on button is, how to email a screen cap. What the hell is a screen cap? Palm it all off and stay calm with Golden Years Training Company. Oh, yeah, that's good stuff. That's good stuff. That's good stuff.

Very wordy. It's relatable. Very wordy. Very wordy, yeah. Very wordy. You like to talk. That's only because of him after his ad. And none of the bloody sloppy noise, sloppy mouth noises.

Well, joining us is Melissa from Golden Years Training. Good morning, Melissa. Good morning. That was perfect. I have had all of those questions many, many times. Relatable. So he hit the nail on the head with it, you reckon? Definitely.

That is, I've had so many of those questions, it's not even funny. Now, as a former Saatchi and Saatchi ad exec, I can ask, or my only criticism would be, where's the call to action? Where was the call to action? No, it's just putting the seed. It's just branding. Oh, it's just branding and planting the seed. Yeah. Okay.

Good. So that next time somebody's like, gets one of those questions, they're taken back to the ad. Boom. Okay, brilliant. Alright, well there we go. Melissa, thank you. Now, finally. I think we have saved the best till last. Have we?

Yes. So my side hustle is Ruckus and Tucker. It's Luxe dog collars. And we went for a little bit of sexiness. What do you mean? Just play it. When I'm out, I like to look good. I want to turn heads.

I want all the bitches to notice me. When I see Bella every day, we stop. Our eyes meet. I feel something take over. Then we sniff each other's butts. She loves it when I wear my collar. Ruckus and Tucker, luxury handmade dark collars. That's good. That's good. Yeah. That's good.

That's good. Yeah. That's good. Who was that voice? That is Moses from Solomeo. Oh, no wonder I was tingling in my ears. Who knows how to use their voice better than one of the boys from Solomeo? So thank you. Wow.

Both of us. I needed a sexy guy voice. Deeply hurts that you didn't ask us. I needed a sexy guy voice. Deeply hurts that you didn't ask us. Joining us now from that side hustle, Ruckus and Tucker. Amberley, hello. Hi, good morning. What did you think of Megan's radio ad? It was amazing.

I was laughing pretty loud, so I'm glad there's not many people around. So good. I mean, you were the only one who got a celebrity to voice your ad. I was going to say, you wouldn't get that for free. That would really affect the budget. That's amazing. It would really affect the budget usually.

I'm just wondering how Megan got Moses to do that actually now. What's she promised? That's a personal transaction. Amazing. Me and Moses. There's it. Me and Moses. There we go. If I was her husband, I'd be watching. She's got a history with the boy bands.

And promises she makes them. All right. Well, you can vote for your favourite side hustle, ZM Online, and we're going to announce a winner tomorrow, Friday, tomorrow, tomorrow. Here we go. And our winner winning that $500 cash. And then we step it up with a radio jingle, which will probably just get Megan DeVos

calling a favour with her celebrity mates. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Yesterday, just before I picked the girls up from school. So that's just a time indicator there. You've set a time indicator of your story, haven't you? Yeah, school. So that's just a time indicator there. You've set a time indicator of your story, have you? Yeah, yeah. So that's just indicating to you it was sometime just before 3pm. Okay.

Okay. I went to the pharmacist. Shout out to sore neck. We were out of... Neck pills. Nurofen. Oh, okay, right. The ibuprofen?

Yeah, Nurofen. What's the difference? One's ibuprofen and one's paracetamol. Yeah, but what's the difference between those two? And what's aspirin? They're different drugs. They work differently. Yeah, what do they do?

I can never, ever remember this. But I feel that I should know the difference as well, but I don't. Yeah, me neither. And why is aspirin? No one has a dysprint anymore. Why does no one ever? I tell you who has half a dysprint every day. My dad.

He's worried about something or the other. Really? He has an aspirin.? Has an aspirin. Has an aspirin. Is that bad? Blood thinner? Blood thickener? Oh God, I don't know.

But that's the thing I've never known. What's ibuprofen? Ibuprofen is the one you have to stop taking for a lot of, it messes with a lot of other medication and illnesses and stuff. Right. I don't know what the difference is. Painkillers. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, I don't know the difference. I'm 38 and I should. They target the big orange glowing thing on your back. Neurofen. Well, that's a shot. I had you had a big orange glowing thing on her neck. Right.

I saw it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I put on my Neurofen specs. I saw the orange glowing thing. I was like, well, I know what will solve this. It's Neurofen. Yeah.

So I went to the pharmacy to get some Neurofen. Yeah. And I walked in and this dude was having a rant. Like he was in the swings of, like I was waiting for the 5G's mind control. COVID's a conspiracy. But what was he having a go at them about? About medication, about Big Pharma. He was just on a rant.

He was all go. And he turned around and he ranted all the way to the store. And I was like, who's he ranting at now? But was he picking up a prescription? Directed, yeah. Oh, but he was angry at Big Pharma. Ironically. He was picking up a very heavily government subsidised prescription.

Right. Wild. Absolutely livid at Big Pharma though. For providing the thing that that I don't know, maybe keeps him alive or whatever. But he was on the rant and the pharmacist who was behind the desk, whose legs I never saw because I don't believe pharmacists have legs. No, they hover.

They hover. They are, I said, oh, well, you all good? Like, because she just looked like, like her eyes were rolling, like she was a bit fed up. I was like, you all good? And she just looked like her eyes were rolling, like she was a bit fed up. I was like, you all good? And she's like, yeah, yeah. And I was like, that seemed interesting. And she says, yeah, it happens all the time.

I was like, what? People ranting about Big Pharma and pharmacy. She's like, all the time. Really? I was like, you're kidding me. I thought mostly it would have been like, I've got a sore throat. What?

Stripsels. I said, people rant. And she's like, people've got a sore throat. What? Stripsels. Yeah. I said, people rant. And she's like, people love ranting. It's probably because they've just been triggered by going to the doctor and having to pay like $50, $60, $70, $80. Yeah. See the doctor. And they don't know what he's written on the piece of paper.

That's for reception and that's for the pharmacist. And you walk out and you're like, which one's for reception? And you give them both to reception and they're like, you hold on to that one. But they both look the same. Is this one for the pharmacy?

Yeah, take that and you can go through. But yeah, she said it happens all the time and I was like, I would, I was, and it got me thinking,

what happens at your job all the time that people probably don't know happens at your job all the time? Like ranting. Given that I've never ranted at a pharmacist, I just assumed, and wrongly so, I should never assume humans don't, but I just didn't know that people would rant. Any kind of customer service job, you'd get rants, I reckon.

Where you'd deal with people. Especially banks. I reckon if you worked at a bank you'd get rants all the time oh someone just messaged in I used to work at a pharmacy

and this happened all the time it was always old men really having a rant but were they ranting to distract you

from the fact that they were picking up three months of stuffy pills because that's what I might do because you know when you go to

the supermarket and you're buying like condoms or lube or whatever and it's like in between items that you're more likely to talk about. I love it when they're like the person in front of you and they're saying to them,

have you used these before? Do you know how to use them? They're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't describe it. Don't describe it. Covering the person behind them from saying what medication they're getting. Just put it in the bag. Put it in the bag. Unmark bag. Unmark bag. covering the person behind them from saying, what, get a cake? Can I get a cake? I don't know.

Just put it in the bag. Put it in the bag. Unmarked bag. Unmarked bag. All right. So give us a call. 0800-DARLS-IT-M. 9696.

We want to open up the phone lines. What happens at your work a lot that people probably don't know happens at your work? Oh, my God. Left the load. We're getting some messages already. We'll get to those next. Is it M? We're talking about what you probably We'll get to those next. Is it in? We're talking about what you probably have to deal with at work that people don't know your industry has to deal with.

We were just a rant at a pharmacy yesterday, and apparently the pharmacist just told me it just happens all the time. Is this a daily occurrence? Yeah, I was just like, I had no idea that pharmacists were dealing with rants. So we want to know what you're dealing with that people probably don't know that your job has to deal with. Yeah.

Joined on the phone by Jason, a journalist. Hello. Hello. You are the Jason from the New Zealand Herald that goes to the press conferences. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The one that Jacinda called Justin that one time and everybody hates him.

I recognise your voice. I recognise his voice. Oh my God. Yeah. Have you been out in public and people have been like. I recognise your voice! I recognise his voice! Oh my God! Yeah, have you been out in public and people have been like, I recognise your voice from the briefing? Oh, I was at a party one time and some guy came up to me and said, hey, I know you, and I thought he was going to talk about my reporting work, so I got really excited and he was like,

you're the guy that forgot his question at the press conference. Yeah, they always remember that. So what do you have to deal with all the time that people wouldn't know about? Well, ever since the COVID lockdown started, because I've got quite a recognisable voice with a bit of a strange accent, people tend to hear it in the live streams. They can actually pick out who it is. And so they'll find me on Twitter or they'll send me an email

or sometimes, I don't know how they get it, but they get my phone number and just call me with their reckons about anything, everything that goes on. They call you on the phone? Yep, I've had a couple like that. They say, hey, just want to chat with you. And usually I'm on deadline. I've got like a minute or two to go. So I really don't have the time. Just so you know, and then launch into a bit of a monologue.

Wow. That's monologue. Wow. Oh my God. That's not annoying. No. Also, it's so creepy that they managed to track down

your phone number. They must really want to chat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a fun chat but I try and entertain them for as much as possible.

Try to work while I talk. Well, at least... Yeah, that's crazy. Oh, wow. At least you're while I talk. Well, at least... Yeah, that's crazy. Oh, wow. At least you're not Tova.

Oh, Tova's great. No, I mean, she would get it fivefold, wouldn't she? Oh, right. Yeah, no, Tova gets it so much worse than I do. But she's champ about it.

She just ignores it and gets on with it. And she's got like, Tova's such a recognisable name. Yeah, true. There's not many Toves out there. Anyway, Justin, good to talk to you.

Jason, see you later, John. Have a good one. Let's go to Anna. Anna, what do you have to deal with at work that people wouldn't realise you deal with? Good morning. So, when I was working

in hospitality in a cafe, we used to get people pee on our floors on a few occasions. Maggie, you run a cafe, do you get people pee? I've never had anyone pee on the floor, like accidentally, like in their seat or? Oh, so we, I feel bad saying this, but we used to get quite a few people come in and

ask for like money and things from customers. Right. And when we used to say like, sorry, you can't be doing that in here, they used to get angry and then pee on our floors on purpose. Oh, jeez. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Someone's going to have to clean that up.

Yeah, that's not good. Anna, thanks for your call. Is it Jaleesha? That is right. Yes. And you work in a bank. Yes, I used to work in a bank for about five years. And I quite often got abused by people because obviously they're wondering why there's no money in their account.

Yeah. And also sometimes one guy came in and I asked him to take his hood off or his hat off, and he just refused to, and he just wanted to have a fight with me, and he just made me cry because I was just, you know, you're not supposed to wear anything kind of covering your face in a bank, and you just get so terrified. So I ended up crying, and my manager got him, yeah, he couldn't come to the bank anymore. Wow.

But people would complain about the bank all the Wow. But yeah, people would complain about the bank all the time. Yes, they do. They have lots to say and you're not even the person who deals with the stuff, so. There's somebody else who worked at a bank, messaged in saying they'd always get hit up about bank fees on people with accounts that didn't have any

bank fees on them. That is right. Yeah. I can't see you paying any bank fees here, sir, is right. Yeah. Okay. I can't see you're paying any bank fees here, sir. Yeah.

So that makes you off. Where's all my money gone? Hey, thanks for your call, Jalecia. Some text messages. I'm a beauty therapist. People probably don't

know how often we have to deal with dingleberries. Oh my God. Dreads. Dags. Dags. That's right, daggs. Oh, I'm so sorry.

That's just not pleasant. I couldn't do that. We were talking about this yesterday at home because one of our cows got some daggs. And Shado said to the girls, oh, your dad gets those. I was like, oh, that's not even funny to joke about. She's like, yeah, actually, no, he doesn't. Don't tell people that. Don't go and say

my dad's got dags. And, but then, Yeah, wow. People are dealing with them. Who's not like, before they go to, okay.

We're professional cleaners. The thing that we get so often, and maybe people don't know about it, is we get asked why it costs so much for us to wipe down

a surface. If it's that simple, do it yourself. Yeah, exactly. If you don surface. If it's that simple, do it yourself. Yeah, exactly. If you don't want to pay, that's what's being paid. Clean it up, you nasty mess. Find someone that'll do it. I thought it was going to be finding things in people's homes

that they've left like, you know, like hotel rooms. They get that all the time. Yep. Someone said, I work in film and TV. People probably don't know how often we deal with people driving past and just whipping out their nips and screaming. And then it means you have to go back and start filming all over again. Who's doing that?

Where? In the background, there's a camera. Oh, right. Okay. I feel like that's a kid with a thing. I thought you were just going to say tooting and be like. Yeah, yeah. But in New Zealand, because most of our film sets are probably like,

what do they call it? Live film sets where it's just you're filming in the opportune moment. Yeah. People would have the ability to mess it up so much. I work in a toy store. I'm repeatedly told how advanced said child is. Is this okay for a three-year-old? Keep in mind they're very advanced. A very advanced three-year-old. Really? Your child? Yeah, they're a seven-year-old gift. Is this okay for a three-year-old? Keep in mind they're very advanced.

Really? Your child? Yeah, they're very advanced. I'm a barista. I get told how to make coffee at least three times a day. It's not like I've been doing it for 15 years professionally. But no, no, I'll hear it out. Yep, that's great. Wow.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Now your chance to win cash, all thanks to Save My Bacon. We've got $2,000 up for grabs with our grand finale of the 50K fact of the day. It's the pop quiz. You can register, send them online

and basically, Brian Clint will be doing this on Friday. So if you've got the recall of all the facts, register, send them online. It's all thanks to Save My Bacon

helping you borrow money online and growing your credit score at the same time and we are giving you the chance to win at midday and four o'clock today if you can get through and correctly answer a question about this fact of the day. Today's fact of the day is in the 1800s, the late 1800s, in America, barbed wire was also telephone wire.

Oh, that's a good double usage. Yeah, because they are, the whole west of the Mississippi changed with barbed wire. Right. Because it had never been farmed like, this is my plot of land, these are, within these fences is my farm. Right. It had never really been done like that.

It was like cowboys, like shepherds. Right. They had all the stock, but they kind of roamed. Right. And they'd round them up and keep them together and protect them from whatever. But they just pretty much just let them roam until it was time to sell them or slaughter them. So, when they put up barbed wire, it changed everything. Right.

Because then you allocated farm lots and everything stayed within that. And it was the only wire that would keep animals in. Right. Because of the barb on it. So, when it came to getting telephone lines uh across america it got to farmers and they said well we need to be in contact too it shouldn't just be city to city yeah we need a little bit of chat we're out here all alone and a lot of us have come from cities yeah to relocate out here and the telephone company said it's too expensive for us to run

wire and they said well we've already got all this wire, barbed wire. And they were like, it could work. So all you had to do was hook up your telephone wire to your barbed wire and then run it into your house to a telephone and you could have a telephone. What?

It was like party line situation too. Like the ring would come through and it would be like long ring, short ring, short ring. Oh, that's Jones's down the road. Jones's, hello, Jones residence. And then you'd talk and it was actually going down the barbed wire. Wow. Okay, so this, you couldn't see any text, so could you?

Nah. Not yet. Nah. If you put a cup to the barbed wire, could you listen in on someone else's phone call? Well, it's not a string. It's a bit more. Nah, yeah, because it was like a little, I believe it was like electrical currents or something and the phone deciphered what it was.

Okay. Yeah. Explain. Is that all good? Yeah. Are we happy with that? Really loose, probably not right explanation of how it worked. Yeah.

It satisfied me. You needed the phone on the end to make it work. Yeah, right. Okay. So you might be thinking, like, what if it got to the end of the farm and there wasn't another barbed wire? The farmers would get together and join it up with some barbed wire that they had so that they could continue the line.

And there was actually more kilometres of barbed wire telephone line than there was standard telephone line at one stage. Wow. The barbed wire, the old barbed wire telephone line than there was standard telephone line at one stage. Wow. The barbed wire, the old barbed wire blower. So today's fact of the day is barbed wire was also telephone wire in the 1800s. Fact of the day, dayughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Motorway Mates.

Yes, Motorway Mates. It's a game we play when you are stuck in traffic. And if you are stuck in traffic, 0800 DALS at M. We're just going to guess. First of all, we guess the car, the colour of the car in front of you. Yes. And then the colour of the car behind you. And if we get there, we guess your colour of your car.

Three cars, 100 bucks. Just like that. Ali, good morning. Morning. Now, whereabouts are you stuck in traffic? Wellington. Wellington. Okay, well, let's start with the car in front of you.

What kind of car is it? It's a Ford. A Ford. A Ford. Is it like a mum car, like a Ford Festiva? Yep. A lot of those are white, I reckon. A lot of those are.

I'm going to say white. I'm going to say white. You're going to say white. I was going to say like that weird champagne colour. Oh, yeah, okay. It's like not quite silvery, but not quite brown. It's got a tinge of gold maybe. Yeah, it's a browny gold.

I'll settle in the champagne region. I might just hit a straight up red. But then a black, you get a lot of the black ones, don't you? But newer ones. Raining in Wellington, is it? I've heard the old windscreen wipers going. No, I can, that's an indicator. No, there's an indicator now.

It's there. It's a windscreen wiper as well. Yeah, it's a window wiper. Okay. It's raining. Can we... Can we... Is this right?

It's grey silver. Grey silver? Oh, no, your champagne doesn't... I mean, champagne, that doesn't quite cover it, does it? Ali, I'm sorry. You're out. You're out there. That's not a good start, guys.

That's not a good start. No, it's not a good start. Let's go to Rico. Good morning, Rico. Hello. Good. Now, whereabouts are you stuck in traffic? Wellington also.

Wellington also. Good one. Wellington? Yeah. Good. All right. Now, Rico, what kind of car is in front of you? A Nissan Navara four-wheel drive.

Great. Like a dark. Do you reckon? Oh, a Nissan Navara. I'm going to go maroon. Yeah, they do a maroon. They do a maroon one of those. Do they?

Yeah. They do like a green... What? Have we got two people on the phone, Fletch? No, there's only one person on the phone. My partner's here. And by the way, she's in love with you, mate.

You don't say that now, Rico, because my she's in love with you, mate. You don't say that now, Rico, because my wife's in the car and I get in trouble because I'm so... And this happens a lot because I'm very sexy. I was going to say, she needs better taste in men, but then that's offensive to you. She needs... Right, but I think she poo-pooed the colour of the car. You can't poo-poo it.

No, that's against the rules. Wait, so we haven't decided on it. We haven't decided. I said Navarro. Yeah, right. I said Navarro. I said maroon or red. I'm going to go green.

Okay, is it any of those colours? No. What colour is it? It's your bog standard white. We should always go white because, what colour is it? It's your bog standard white. Oh, boo. We should always go white because, what is it, one in three cars is white? Is that a thing?

Is that a statistic? Okay, all right. Hey, Rico, thanks. We'll let you get back to the girlfriend there that obviously likes Vaughan better than you. I won't apologise. I won't apologise. Carla, good morning. Good morning.

We're about to use stuck in traffic. Wellington. Wellington. Again. Carla, good morning. Good morning. Whereabouts are you stuck in traffic? Wellington. Wellington. Again. Okay, well, what kind of car is in front of you? Okay, so they've changed, but I've kind of remembered what it was. In front of me at the time was a ute, like a work ute. Wait, well, what's in front of you now?

Probably an intersection. A different car altogether because the traffic's moving a bit now. Wait, well, what's in front of you now? Probably an intersection. A different car altogether because the traffic's moving a bit now. Well, we can just go with that car. I think we'll go with the current car. What kind of car is it? It's a white U. Okay, you just... Hang on, hang on.

Wait a minute. So it was a white U before or it's a white U now? Yeah, it on. Wait a minute. So it was a white yurt before or it's a white yurt now? Yeah, it is. Okay. Is the car in front of you white? The car that's going past me is. Wait a minute. No, in front of you.

When you just said it was a white yurt, was that the last car? That's not there anymore. No. So should we start again? Let's start afresh. So is there a different car in front of you now? Yes's not there anymore. No. So should we start again? Let's start afresh. So is there a different car in front of you now? Yes, there is now. Okay.

What kind of car is that? Not colour. A Honda four-wheel drive by the looks of things. A Honda four-wheel drive. I'm going to go black. Correct. Yay! Okay. great.

All right, now. Okay, now. I'm going to look behind me. Yeah, okay. You look behind you. Just careful. What's that? It's a van.

Yes. Oh, okay. I'm going to lock in white. White. Wait, we need to pick. Correct! Yes! Baby! Really?

Just like that? Oh, my God. Okay, so now we need to guess the colour of your car. Really? Just like that? Oh, my God. Okay. So now we need to guess the colour of your car. Now, what kind of car is it? It's a Lancer. A Mitsubishi Lancer. Oh.

Okay, now we're going to deliberate. So don't tell us yet. Don't tell us yet. We have to come to a consensus on the final colour, right? It could be Lance. What do they make? White, black, silver? Blue.

Lance is coming in. All the colours. All the colours, aren't they? But white again. The most popular colour. Yes. But for $100. Come on, guys.

We can do this. Should we do white? I'm going to say, I'll say... No, we have to consent. I reckon white. I reckon white. All the other colour cars were white, weren't they? Yeah, white.

Okay, well... No, it was a black car. It was the white Yurt. Oh, that's right. Okay, for $100, we're going to guess that your car is white. Not at all. Oh, shiver. What colour is white? Not at all. Oh, shiver. What colour is it?

It's red and maroon. Oh, yeah. Didn't I say maroon? Why are you saying maroon? It's maroon. Maroon. Everyone's all of a sudden calling it maroon. It's not maroon five, is it?

Maroon five. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. A survey has been done Actually this was An employee experience platform Right So pay attention

If you're on the way to the office Or you're in the office And you're about to send some emails Yes This is the email behaviour survey They have found the Most annoying way to start an email Okay I feel like our email technique Is not very good Because survey, they have found the most annoying way to start an email.

Okay. I feel like our email technique's not very good because we don't really... I don't feel like a... We're not professionals. I always just put it all in the subject line. Yeah. Oh, that's horrible. What am I supposed to put in the subject line? Or I go like, yo!

And the subject line. Yeah, or I'll be in the subject line and just be like, hey, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. And then I'll just be blah, blah, blah, blah. The subject, what are you broaching in the email? That's what's supposed to be on the subject line. It doesn't matter. I'm hooking them in, aren't I? They're going to want to read what I've said now.

You're just doing a good tease. Because I'm like, hey. Dot, dot, dot. Or I'll be like, do you dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Hook them in. That does make me want to read it. Exactly. See?

Yeah. So, past the subject line, the most annoying way to start your email is by not having any greeting. Oh, that would technically be me though, wouldn't it? Because I'm putting my greeting in the subject line. So, do you not then put, hi, blah, blah, blah? No, because why would I say, hey, hey? Do you just launch into the email? Yeah, but only if I've put hey or something in the subject line to greet them.

You're a monster. My emails be conversational. I don't start a conversation with like if I walked up to Fletch and I said... Hey, Fletch. No, yes, that's how I'd start. I'd be like, hey, and then he says hey back. Yeah, but that counts as a greeting. I don't hit him with the topic of our conversation

at the start of our topic of our conversation. Okay, well, both of you two would be terrible in a professional workplace. Absolutely. Walk up to you and be like, houseplants. Subject, houseplants. High fledge. Yeah, right.

So not starting with any kind of greeting at all is the worst. You're supposed to structure it because everything gets lost in communication when you write an email. And the best way, 49% of people that responded said just a hi, whoever was the best way to start. Hi, okay. But you still need to structure it and then say regards or from at the end.

It still needs to be a structured email. What about a cheers? Because I like a cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Yeah, cheers is good. That's fine. Yeah.

Okay. Just checking. Thanks. What's up? Regards. fine? Yeah. Okay. Just checking. Thanks. What's up? You don't say sup at the end. Well, like, some people just put their first letter of their name. I don't know that. That's weird.

Oh, no, I do. I do. I just put M and then space and then little X. I don't even like when I get an email and it's like, hey, V. Max Kiss. Hey, V. Hey, V. Yeah, like, oh, you're so busy, you can't write my whole name.

No, no, no. I don't have the name. V is not my nickname. Okay, fine. Well, at least I start with a greeting. Nah, not me. We'll change the name to Fletch, Vaughan and Em. Okay.

Dot X. O. Em, kiss. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and Clinton listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music.

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