ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 24th August 2021

Episode Date: August 23, 2021

Peppa Pig  Vege Soap  Top 6: All Whites  FOMO v JOMO  Online Food Delivery Thefts!  Motorway Mates  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. And it's with sad news that we start the podcast today. Hilary Duff has tested positive for COVID-19. She is an absolute national treasure. Mother of three, battling a bad headache and struggling with taste and smell.

Really? Hilary Duff with one L. It's Hilary with one, isn't it headache and struggling with taste and smell. Really? Hilary Duff with one L. It's Hilary with one, isn't it? It's Hilary with one, yes. Okay, I'm going to play. Which Hilary Duff song am I going to play? It's always a hard choice. Probably this one.

Yes, that was what I was thinking of making. Yeah, it's her best song. It's her best song, without a doubt. So what's the latest? Has she been rushed to ICU? Is she isolating? No, no, her best song. It's her best song, without a doubt. So what's the latest? Has she been rushed to ICU? Is she isolated? No, no, no, no, she's not. She said that she's been vaccinated.

Right. So she does have it, despite being vaccinated, because of the Delta variant. However, she has been told that if she hadn't been vaccinated, it would be significantly worse. Yeah, well, that's the thing. That's absolutely like a hospitalisation situation. Yeah, well, that's the thing. That's absolutely like hospitalisation situation. That's why we all have to get vaxxed so it doesn't knock us for six when we get it.

Yeah. Or kill us. Totally. Yeah. We'll just, if we could just, maybe some more Hilary Duff facts just to get to the chorus. No, we're here, we're here. Let the rain fall down and break my dreams. God, it's beautiful.

How did this not win a Grammy? Oh, I don't know the mind boggles. Absolutely robbed. I've been, I've been, I am a sucker for this. Below the Hilary Duff story was a thing that says, man gives girlfriend a necklace, two years later she screams

when she realises what's inside. Well, I've got to know what's inside this necklace. Oh, you don't click, don't click on those bloody things. It's a homemade necklace. It's like a wooden thing, and it's got a carved out back, and there looks to be a seashell in the middle.

She found out what she'd been wearing, and the pair would never be the same again. Continue. Fuck, they always get you at the bottom. And you've got to click through 800 things. Why did Terry want the necklace back? She'd been wearing it for a year, and it got really attached, but Terry told her she had to trust him with little hesitation.

She handed it over, continued to the next page. Terry wanted to clean it, but he didn't. He broke it open. She screamed out, how could you do that? How could you break the necklace? And inside the necklace, another one. Is it a photo? It must be a photo of someone.

Another one. I'm clicking through another page. Oh, now we're getting their backstory. They met in a club. They like to go on hikes. I reckon it's going to be an engagement ring. And he knew. And she's like, I broke it open.

The engagement ring's been in there the whole time. Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me. How many click-throughs do I have to do? She didn't trust Terry. I'll tell you why. Do you want to know why Hilary Duff didn't win in 2004? Who was she up against? Listen to record of the year.

Coldplay Clocks, Crazy in Love, Beyonce, Where Is the Love, Black Eyed Peas, Lose Yourself, Eminem, Hey Ya, Outkast. Oh, yeah. Let's play Who Won. Do you know who won? I do, yeah. Eminem. No. Oh, my God.

I'm still clicking to try to find the fucking answer to what Terry had hidden inside this necklace. Let's play Who Won. Do you know who won? I do, yeah. Eminem. No. Oh my God. I'm still clicking to try to find the fucking answer to what Terry had hidden inside this necklace. Well, it was obviously a picture. Coldplay. Now it's showing him making the necklace. I don't need to know Terry's design thoughts. Show me what's inside the necklace, baby. I'm rolling a six.

I'm rolling a six. He gave it to her. And then he's finally, okay, we're back to the main loop of the story. He's, oh, my fuck, how many times? And then he said, never take it off. We're back into the story of the origins of the necklace. I'm just laughing. I flicked his face.

Just flicked the pieces. Grayley didn't say anything. I'm clicking again. Oh, my God. Never take it off She said I won't Can't give it too many breaks Oh fuck

Oh my god How can I fast forward this It was a photo Of her mum or something They still miss each other She'd immigrated Now I think it might be a photo Because she's talking about her friend

Bloody Of course it's a photo What else Tracy Who lives in Scotland But still hasn't been broken open. Oh, my God. Thanks, Ash.

Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Megan. As you would have heard, Ash just mentioned the locations of interest list now over 400. So there's actually, because I was just saying, I haven't looked at the locations maybe for a day. But there's a map. There's a map function. If you go to the COVID website, click on locations of interest,

and then you can zoom in to like where you live and where you've been. Yep. Like I'm in downtown, so there are blue flags everywhere. Good luck seeing your house under all the flags and dots. Actually, no, it's more to the side. So around me is all right. Right. But I don't know how I've dodged this.

There's a few KFCs in the mix. I think I went to a sushi place like maybe four hours before somebody else did. That's the closest I've come. Oh, I've skiddly-deed around a few of those. There are so many blue dots. So, yeah, the map's the easy way. I think you were saying the spin-off did one as well. The spin-off did one, yeah, like an interactive map. Yeah, actually.

St. Pierre's, you're going to love their sushi. As well, something to mention, and you may have seen ZM post this last night, this is a handy link to a website that keeps you updated on queue times at supermarkets and testing stations. Now, I think it is like Gatsby, the app. I think it's user updatedatsby, the app.

I think it's user updated. Yeah, so you can go there. It's called timeintheline.co.nz. And so say, for example, the first supermarket there on the list near us is Countdown Auckland City. Wait time less than 15 minutes, but that was updated eight hours ago by a user. But then I can update the wait time if I'm there now. Yeah, right. And the same for the testing lines as well. I...

So you can do the COVID test site. So if you're in the line, go to timeintheline.co.nz to help other people out. I haven't seen Hughes in the last couple of days. At the supermarket? Yeah. No. At the testing stations, yes.

The testing stations, yes. Yeah. Very much so. So timeintheline.co. The testing stations, yes. The testing stations, yes. Yeah. Very much so. So timeintheline.co.nz, a helpful little site that's helping people stuck in lines. That's nice to be helpful at a time like this. A chance to win cash again this morning, pay off some of those boring mundane bills,

come in at a good time. Yeah. 8 o'clock is when we'll do that. A free ride. All thanks to the movie Free Guy, which will be back in cinemas soon when we're back. Yeah. 8 o'clock is when we'll do that. A free ride. All thanks to the movie Free Guy, which will be back in cinemas soon when we're back. Yeah. We're back out.

Coming up in the top six, yesterday people who call other people snowflakes proved themselves to be snowflakes because the all-whites were like, we might change our name. Not everybody gets the whole all-whites and opposite to all-blacks situation on an international stage.

Yeah. And people who usually, as I said, call other people snowflakes had their moment to snowflake. Yeah. Proving everybody's got, you know, something. Everybody's at least a little bit of snow. Yeah. We're all 90% water, aren't we?

And what happens when you freeze water, ice or snow? We're all slowly melting. We are. So I've got the top six new names For the all whites Because they need a new name The Vaughan Smith Marketing Department Has had its thinking cap on ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan

Well somebody listed a Used part loaf of Vogel's bread on Trade Me You would have seen this right? I saw this yeah Yeah people sharing it I'm imagining it was when Everybody rushed the supermarkets. Yeah.

Because I've seen even friends now sharing, like a friend in Wellington just yesterday was like, where's all the bread? People just, I guess, stuck at home. That's why we said don't panic buy because then everyone doesn't get what they need. So somebody listed this and it has, the auction has become the fifth most viewed listing in Trade Me history. So, Eva. Really? Eva.

Yes. So, five slices and one crust. Attracted at time of this story, which was yesterday at 2 o'clock, just under 400,000 views and 107 bids. The latest one, I believe the latest was $500. Right. Good Lord. What's the name of the, I'm on the, I'm on the trade, Bea.

I'm on the Facebook. I don't know, it won't load. I just clicked it. Oh, no, here we go. Here we go. It's loaded. Currently, oh, maybe it's shut. Has it? Oh, no, $2 go. Here we go. It's loaded. Currently, maybe it's shut, has it?

Oh no, $2,000. Are you kidding me? No one's paying that. That's a solely vote. You're being solely. Is it going to charity? Oh, I don't know. Maybe. Hmm.

It seems the right thing to do. Man, the comments, I was just going to try to scroll. Do they still do like a little view button? Like page views at the bottom of this? Oh, yeah, probably. Remember they used to back in the day? And it looked like one of those old school, like an odometer. Remember that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It ticks over at the bottom, but you can't get to the bottom of the questions. I can't get to the bottom. It's too much. If you go back to the top, you should be able to like select a different thing to be to the bottom. It's too much. If you go back to the top, you should be able to, like, select a different thing to be at the bottom. This closes tomorrow at 7.05. There are 3,600 people who put it on their watch list,

and, yeah, 120 bids so far. Man, we're bored. We're bored, huh? We are, yes. When was this bought? Because it looks a little bit moist in the bag, and it's got a plastic bread tag. It definitely looks like it's been in the fridge, yeah?

Yeah. Have they gone, have Vogel's gone to a wooden... I just know that the bread I buy is already wooden tags. Yeah, that's a tip-top special, right? And the other fellas, but I don't know, has Vogel's gone to a cardboard bread tag? Yeah. Do you guys want to know the top five trade me items of all time?

Yep. The handbag in 2006. Now this has one. That was the one that, yes, Tana Umunga whacked somebody with. Yeah. So this was the Hurricanes captain, Tana Umunga. He had his Chris mate team, sorry, Chris Masco in a Christchurch pub with a handbag following the Super 14 final. It sold for $22,000

and it had 1.7 million views, the handbag. Following that is the Possessed Printer in 2013. That was a Carpenter Coast filmmaker who listed the wireless printer who said it was possessed with a pure soul of darkness.

Okay. Scary Washing Machine, 2009. I knew the guy that listed that. Yeah, 800,000 views. And the Radio Network House Implosion in Christchurch. That had 459,000. That's the fifth most viewed.

So the handbag is number one. And being able to blow up a house. But yeah, so at the moment, it's looking like it will overtake the explosion because it's still got another day and a half left on it. Wow. 13 past six. Next on the show, Peppa Pig News Oh Took me a bit

Loud Luxury Brando Body You're such a daddy pig ZM Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan Peppa I as a person that

Even now still Like years I can't remember when my kids Last watched Peppa Pig But they loved Peppa Pig They were like Right in that Watching that Peppa Pig Yeah right And I liked it too Peppa P, but they loved Peppa Pig. They were like, right in that. Watching that Peppa Pig.

And I liked it too. Peppa Pigs and Ben and Holly, the elves. That was a show that your kids could watch, but there was definitely undertones of adult humour for you to subtly enjoy while it was getting played on a loop. I've never seen an episode, but I know because it's

a pop culture reference. And is it on, like, merchandise? I see merchandise. Are there yogurts at the supermarket or something? Oh, there probably is. I don't know. Yeah. Hey, well done, you.

Okay. I commend you on your effort there. Your knowledge. But I still get sent, like, pictures of bacon bits, and it'll say on the front, like, the new Peppa Pig jigsaw puzzle. Oh, yeah, I love those. Those are very funny.

High lyreous. Unless you're a vegan. That's a bit mean. Well, what do they think bacon's made of? What's fakin'? The fake bacon. Tofu. I don't know what they make it out of, but it looks realistic. Have you'? The fake bacon. Tofu. Okay.

I don't know what they make it out of, but it looks realistic. Have you seen the fake bacon? The streaky bacon? It looks like bacon. Turkey. Is it what it is? No. No.

Vegans can't eat turkeys either. Why not? They're birds. They're not animals. They're dinosaurs. They're just eating dinosaurs. They would have eaten us. Yeah.

And I rest my case. But it was a Edinburgh cafe that drew the wrath of vegans and vegetarians because they were using a chalk drawing of Peppa Pig to indicate that there was a bacon buddy for sale. Oh, right. Like a bacon sandwich. Yep. Yeah.

And they had a real problem with that. Children would be sick to know that their favourite children's TV character was making up a bacon sandwich. And then underneath it, there was, I wasn't familiar with

this drawing because I had to look it up. A TV show called The Magic Roundabout. There's a cow on there and they're drawing the cartoon cow plus bread ermertrude is this cow's name to sell their beef sandwiches. So letting people know

So there's uproar. There's uproar. There's bigger things to worry about. Which is what their lion sandwich is called. The uproar. And they use the lion from the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Or it might have been the lion from The Wizard of Oz. I'm not overly familiar.

It was a drawing of a lion. It could have been either. But yeah, they said that that's... And then Peter got on board. Yeah. You know. From there on out, I tap out of a story. From the hard to find ZM Think Tank, this is the top six.

Hello there. The all-whites looking to change their name. Didn't quite have the brand exposure of the all-blacks, I don't think. No. Where people could have it explained to them on a world stage. All-whites? Sounds a little racist. Yeah.

Sounds a little 70s South Africa, doesn't it? Yeah. Is that why they went with the, what did they call themselves in the Olympics? Football. Ollie. Ollie Ferns. Ollie Ferns. Or something. Ollie Ferns. The Tim Ollie Ferns. White Ferns. That's the female

football team, right? Yeah, but remember the men called themselves the Ollie Blacks. Was that why? Ollie Whites. Let's just have something in the meantime. Ollie Whites. Ollie Fenton sounds a bit like Ollie Fans. Yeah, it does, yeah.

Although good side revenue stream for the football club. And there's a couple there that I'd pay to see. Look at those selty young men. Ollie White was the New Zealand national under-23 football team. What? I don't know. Yeah, that was your Winston Reeds. Winston Reeds the captain.

He's not under-20. They need to sort out their Wikipedia. Yeah, so the Ollie Whites were one name. Did you look up the White Ferns? White Ferns is the... No, that's the New Zealand Women's National Cricket Team. Yeah. Right. So they've already got that.

What are the... What about just Football Ferns? Or is that what the women call the... I don't... Football Ferns? Oh, no. Football Ferns are the National call the... I don't. Football ferns. Oh, no. Football ferns are the national

women's football team. Yeah. Yeah, right. Damn it. Okay. Well, you've got six ideas. I've got six ideas. Right, so let's get started.

New names for the all-whites. Number six. The ball blacks. Yeah, because they're balls. They've got a ball. Ball blacks. Black balls was taken. Those y because they're balls. They've got a ball. Balls. Blacks. Black balls was taken. Those yuck lollies.

Those are black lollies. Oh, black balls. Yeah. Those old boiled sweets. No, they're yuck. Yum. No, that was actually taken by a pirate who had testicular problems. Black balls. Arr! My name's black balls. Don't you mean black beard. Arr! My name's Black Balls.

Don't you mean Blackbeard? Arr! I can't grow a beard, but my balls are as black as night. Why? I sat on them funny for a whole voyage. You didn't get up for a whole voyage? I was sat.

I'm the Captain Black Bulls. Number five on the list of the top six new names for the All Whites. The Foot Guys. The Foot Guys. That sounds like a shoe shop at the mall. Yeah. The Foot Guys. Come and see

the Foot Guys. Come and see the Foot Guys. We'll put some boots on your feet. Number four on the list guys. We'll put some boots on your feet. Number four on the list of the top six new names for the All Whites, the Football Blacks. Yeah. Football. Yeah.

All Blacks. Yeah. Football Blacks. Footy Blacks. No. No, you're missing the Ball Blacks. Ball Blacks on the end. Ball blacks. Ball blacks.

Yeah, okay. Number three on the list of the top six new names for the all whites, the Kicken Kiwis. Sounds like a fun time. Who are you guys playing this weekend? The Kicken Kiwis. No, it sounds too cute. Sounds like a kids team.

Yeah. All that works works It's cute Isn't it? And then all the young football players will be like Wonder how I want to play for the Kickin' Kiwis Something to aim for Yeah Number two on the list of the top six new names for the All Whites

The Bootenblacks Booten The Booten The Bootenblacks The Bootscootenblacks The Bootscootenblacks bootin' the bootin' the bootin' the boot scootin' blacks the boot skatein' bootin' blacks and um

number one on the list of the top six new names of the all white Sockery McBallface I don't know yeah I don't know

so that's what they've been naming most things still Sockery McBallface arrr such my long lost brother Sockery McBallface it's me I mean, most things still. Suck my big ball face. Arr! Such my long lost brother's suckery big ball face. It's me, Black

Balls. Still with the blackest of balls. Because you sat on them funny. I sat on them. Arr! My reputation precedes me, I see. Would you like to see my black withered balls?

No, no. That is today's top six. ZDM's Fletch, Ronan Megan. I found an article from the UK, and this is quite timely because I've seen this stuff in my local supermarket, and when I saw it, I was like, well, that's just a, like, why do you need that? Veggie Clean. Have you seen this?

Fruit and vegetable cleaner that's, like, in a bottle. When you spray it on your fruit and vegetable cleaner. Oh, it's not When you first said it, I thought you meant a cleaner that's only made of fruit and vegetables. So did I.

No, no, no. So this is something that you use to clean your fruit and vegetables. Right. Fair call.. So this is something that you use to clean your fruit and vegetables. Right. Fair call. People are yuck and they're touching them and then I want to put it in my mouth.

You chuck that under the sink, don't you? Under the tap. You rinse that under the tap. You rinse your apples. COVID first started and there was the whole thing of when you get everything

home from the supermarket you get to wash everything. Yes. We're not doing that no more. Well, I mean, it's not really a surface thing, is it? It's more aerosol. Yeah, but that could sit on a plum.

Yeah, true. A plum. Look, if you got COVID from a plum, it's bad luck. You're going to get COVID, right? Sir, I've got bad news. You've got the plum variant. Apparently, in the UK, there's a type of fruit wash at one of the supermarkets that went up over 300% in the UK and 900% internationally in the last year.

18.25 million products sold. Now, I don't know if that is because of the global pandemic and people are getting their stuff home and wanting to wash it. Yeah. Apparently the Food Standards Agency, NHS and the Fresh Produce Consortium in the UK all claim water is sufficient to clean produce. Oh, so what's in this magic bottle? Does it have its ingredients listed? So it's fragrance free. This is the one in the UK.

This is one of them, for example, is 100% vegan-free, cruelty-free. Vegan-free. I'm glad there's no vegans in my cleaning product. It's made of plant-based ingredients, and you just spray it and soak and rinse. It sounds like it's just water in a bottle. Here's a bougie one that says it has a native citrus scent. But you don't want a scent if you're cleaning your food. This is made from plant-derived alcohol.

So I guess the people are worried. People are buying this because they're worried that there are still pesticides and chemicals on their fruit. We were always told to wash our vegetables, right? I just knew. Yeah. And there are ones that you can get that are like the KFC wet wipes. That you open up the little thing and you just rub a couple of apples. I don't know.

But, I mean, we've been getting by. Could you use the fruit and veggie wipes on your nether regions if you were in a pinch? If it's all natural. It's all natural, right? What's the pH of that, though? I love you don't say KFC lemon wipe on my nether. It could be, like, lemony acidic.

That's all right, though. It's not going to be acidic to burn you, and you want to burn off the bacteria. You don't want to mess with the pH. Oh, yeah, no, no, no, not for our vagina listeners. This is purely for those amongst us with penises scrotum. If only Black Balls, the pirate, had had... Should I have had a veggie wipe?

My balls might not be black. You see, it was the infection that rubbed me of their colour. It's a reoccurring character now. I feel like it needs to visit every break today. I'll be back soon with more legends of me rotting balls. The veggie wipes

are plant-based, so putting those... I know, but which plant? Because some plants are fine. No, you've got to eat it. It's going to be safe for you. It's going to be safe for you. Citrusy ones. Your nips. Your underarms.

I'm just thinking for when you go camping. Would you squirt a lemon on it? I'd try it. Well, if you've had a paper cut, it'll find it. Well, I haven't had a paper cut. My penis doesn't do much shuffling of papers. It hasn't come across the sharp edge of an A4. I don't know what you're getting up to on lockdown.

Yeah, it's how I write my checks. Yeah. Nobody's doing checks anymore. Okay, we're getting out of this. It's getting,

it's going a bit crazy. Arr, maybe that's how I initially got the infection that cost me my balls. Okay. I just want to say we do not need

veggie wash. Oh, not for washing veggies, but I'm thinking this is the great new way to, like, pack your camping backpack, chuck a couple of them in there, and it's your shower in the bush. A wipe. It's a veggie wipe. Just use an eco-soap.

You've got to have a shower. This is one of those wipes where you just get up and you give yourself a wipe. No, I don't know if it is. I really disagree. Black balls? Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. This comes from the founder of the American Happiness Project.

This is something we should all be thinking about, especially given that we've gone into lockdown. Instead of FOMO, which is the fear of missing out, we should be embracing JOMO. Oh, JOMO. That's the Prime Minister of Australia. That's GOMO. Not universally loved.

What's JOMO? Joy of missing out? Joy of missing out. So you don't go. So once we locked down, a lot of people maybe realised how hectic their life was. And not only work, but like social life. You pack so much in. And does it actually bring you joy? So this person, Michelle, she said that in the past we pack in trips, events, activities and everything.

And now it's given us a chance to re-evaluate how we spend our time and energy and to choose the events, people, activities that will actually bring us happiness. And you should just not go to and avoid the ones that don't. So if you don't want to go to that birthday party, if you don't want to go hang out with people that you don't particularly like,

don't do it because it doesn't bring you joy. So yeah, embrace the joy of missing out. Don't go. Don't do it because it doesn't bring you joy. So yeah, embrace the joy of missing out. Which is fine. Yeah, but when you're on social media. I know. Nah, because then just keep scrolling until you find someone you don't like. They'll be there and then you'll be like, well, thank God I didn't

have to deal with them or talk to them or pretend to be polite. Yeah, but then if you don't get invited to a party. Oh, I must be invited. I simply can't go. You don't want to go, but you get upset that people don't invite Yeah, but then if you don't get invited to a party. Oh, I must be invited. I simply can't go. You don't want to go, but you get upset that people don't invite you, but they know you're not going to go, so they don't invite you. But now it's got to the point where this has become part of my plan. The, oh, I'm upset I didn't get invited, but you wouldn't have gone anyway.

I like to be invited. I don't even really want to be invited but it does make me seem interested at all. But I'm not. So now I don't even want to be invited. I don't want to be invited. Okay. But I do. But only for the purpose

of making that person feel like I gave a shit about your social event. Are you following? It's hard to follow. I don't want to be invited. Wait, so you... But I'll act like I did want to be invited because that is the minimal amount of effort

to put into something to make it seem like you might have gone even though you never would have. You are saying one thing but meaning another thing. Don't say it. Kind of. I don't need to say it, do I, Megan? That's why I understand his logic. I've watched.

Yeah, I've harnessed the power. You're finally speaking my language. Of the female psyche. And I tell you what, it is a wild sword to bear. So much power. Play ZM's Flesh Fallen Megan. Megan actually has found an abandoned coffee machine. She found it in a skip.

She's pulled it out. She's spent lockdown restoring it. Yeah. And is at that coffee machine making us a barista brew. Oh, Megan. You just found this machine just sitting there abandoned. Yeah, looking all sad. It would be rude not to, like, use it, right? And, I mean, you ran a cafe for a year, so you know what you're abandoned. Yeah, looking all sad. It would be rude not to like use it, right?

And I mean, you ran a cafe for a year, so you know what you're doing. Yeah, do you want to hear, look, does this even work? Yep. Oh my God. This is amazing.

Yeah. That just brings joy to so many people, that sound. God, I've missed a moccaccino. I've missed my moccaccinos. You've missed moccaccinos. You know I love my moccaccinos.

You can give a giraffe sachet. Well, you've only got Milo. I don't know if a Milo. I've missed my moccaccinos. You've missed moccaccinos. You know I love my moccaccino. You can give it a giraffe sachet. Well, you've only got Milo. I don't know if a Milo-ccino is going to be all right. I've just gone a piccolo. Do you want me to swirl some Milo in with your shot? Is that the stage that you think you'd put the Milo in with the shot of coffee? Well, that's a good call, actually. That's where you put the hot chocolate in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I reckon, yeah. I mean, maybe as a... Try it. Yeah, you could try it. I reckon, yeah. I mean, maybe as a... Try it. Yeah, you could try it. I can try it. Yeah. I don't want to...

We've got this one chance to have a proper coffee. I don't want to ruin it, you know, and regret it. Yeah. It's a big call. All right. Well, we'll leave you

at this abandoned coffee machine that you've found, Megan. Coming up on the show, actually, this... You will be walking back into a trap, Megan, because we've got seven signs that you're addicted

to online shopping, and we're pretty sure you're all seven of these. Right. You're snow-white in the seven signs of addicted to online shopping. Also, Motorway Mates is back before 8 o'clock on the show. If we can guess the colour of the car behind you and in front of you in your COVID testing queue. Yeah.

I was thinking we should change it up to should change it up today and do like models. Yes, models of cars. Yeah, you sound like someone who's worried we dropped $100 quite easily yesterday. And so, okay, so you describe to us the person behind you. Yeah. And we will delve deep into dangerous stereotypes as to what kind of car they drive. ZDM's Fletchmore and Megan. Oh, good coffees, Megan, from the abandoned coffee machine.

Yes, yes. I wasn't sure how much milk to put in because that's a big Peter Rabbit cup. Yeah, thank you for the Peter Rabbit cup. Yeah, you're welcome. You all right there? Mine had some sort of oily residue on the surface. I was just checking that I wasn't being poisoned. But if I do die...

That's why. That's why she's poisoned you after previous comments on the show. Now, locations of interest. The list has absolutely ballooned, unfortunately. Yeah. And particularly for those in Auckland. Some in Wellington as well with cases. Yep.

The Coromandel, it looks like things have kind of calmed down. There's no COVID in the poos. Yeah, which is great news. What about that Walkworth COVID in the poos? That was a bit... Yeah. Yeah. I don't...

Yeah. Has anything come of that? I don't think they've found anyone with the vid there yet. Right. But the... Whee! This is me scrolling. Hold on, I'll start the, wee, this is me scrolling. Hold on,

I'll start at the top. This is me scrolling the locations of interest at the COVID website. Wee! Wee! Wee! One more.

Wee! That's an official measurement. That's an official. Four wees. Yeah. There are hundreds. Now, if you want the link

to the locations of interest, you can text the keyword LOI to 9696. Also, there is a map at the location. Like, you don't have to scroll through all of them. You can just click on the map and see, like, what part of the city you live in and what you've been and then click on the dots that way. There is a cool infographic as well.

The spin-off, I have done one? Yeah, the spin-off, the website, the news website have done an infographic that's really interesting. Interactive map so you can see places of interest and also like a timeline that shows

how many places of interest there were as it scrolls through the days. God, you get so horny for a graphic, I get horned up for an infographic. This is where I'm at in life. I get horned up for an infographic. I go straight to the infographics in the paper

or a magazine. I probably lower any website. I see an infographic. She won't go to a party, but she will gobble up infographics like that. I liked it yesterday when Jacinda held up the picture. Oh, and didn't people lap that up, eh? Yeah.

She held up a picture. She's like, okay, dum-dums. Some of you can't understand. So I've drawn a picture for you. You might not be in Auckland, but look at all these dots near you. Yeah, look at all these dots. Oh, that's bad for you, isn't it? Imagine if you went to one of those dots or someone you went to one of those dots

and then they bought that. Guess what else? Your house could be a dot. Yeah. And you don't want your house to be a dot. These dots are bad dots. But then they ask people on the news and they're like, oh, Jacinda held up that map and there's dots everywhere,

so it's the right thing. I had no idea there's dots everywhere. You're just like wow, it worked. That's amazing. There is also Wes, very cynical as you can tell. There is also, and ZM shared this last night, there's a website that someone's created. It's called

timeintheline.co.nz. Now it's a bit like the fuel at Gatsby. Yeah, so it's user generated. So when someone goes there, they update the price at Gatsby and then when they go there, they update how long they're in the line. So this is times for testing sites and supermarkets. So what you can do, so I've just gone to supermarkets. The nearest one to me is the Countdown in Auckland.

It's an open year. This hasn't, I don't think so. This hasn't. That's bloody Ben from the block. Remember Ben, and it was like the first season, he did it with his sister.

And I was like, how are these two not killing each other? Yeah, I told you that, because it says at the bottom of this website, made by Ben and Libby. And now was like, how are these two not killing each other? Yeah, I told you that because it says at the bottom of this website, made by Ben and Libby. And now the brother and sister have got the marketing company.

So basically, when you go to your supermarket or your testing site, you pick your one from the list, update it so that other people can know. So it's not really like a Google Maps where it just is always watching your phone. Yeah.

You've got to use it, just help other people out. Google's really good. Google's really good for that. If you Google your supermarket, for example, and it will tell you how busy it is. And then a live thing, and that's just off how many people have Google Maps on their phone and are at that location at present. So if you want to update that, timeintheline.co.nz. And obviously testing lines, a lot of those still heaving.

Play ZM's Flashphone and Megan. Online shopping fun. Online shopping dangerous. Online shopping drunk. Neat surprise for later. Yeah. You enjoyed it at the time and then it's like, well, surprise later.

Megan and I will be like, your package will be delivered today. You're like, what? I've only done that once or twice. That's still a sign you've got a problem. Come on. No, it's a sign that I know what I enjoy even when I'm intoxicated. Yeah. Well, we asked you, have you been online shopping during lockdown?

48% yes, 52% nah. Because unless it's essential, technically you shouldn't get it delivered. Do you know what I'm buying? What? Really? Yeah. Okay. Well, you can still order. It just shouldn't come until after lockdown. I'm getting a, this is,

I'm not going to order this. I'm going to get a lawn roller. Oh, what? It's been such a lawn roller. Oh, what? It's been such a wet winter. What are you? It puts holes in the lawn. So I was looking up. No, the lawn roller is just a roller, and you fill it with water to make it heavy. So then you can take the bung out, and the water roll comes out,

and then it's not heavy anymore, so you can store it. And then I was looking that up, and that's when I saw a lawn aerator, and that's the one that you tie around with heaps of spikes. But why do you need to aerate your lawn? To get the nutrients down to the roots. You don't live at the basin reserve. You're not making a cricket pitch. Yeah, but I could have a cricket pitch.

Six and out, though. If you head into the paddock, you don't get to bed anymore. Your lawn's too big to be doing all this. What? I just tie it behind the mower. It's fine. You don't need. No, it's not fine.

It's been a wet winter and I got soggy. I got lumpy lawn. And you think poking holes in it is going to make it less wet? No. Well, aerate it and get the nutrients down

and get the air down there. Encourage growth. Get the wormies stoked. I hope I don't shish kebab any wormies and I'm turning around my spiky. This is worm genocide. But oh yeah, I looked for rollers last night

and then it's like, you might also be interested in lawn iteration. And I was like, no I am. You're not getting that for a while. Okay, that's okay.

Anyway, on to Megan who seems to have the online shopping problem. Wow, do I? Experts at Delamere Health. Let me open link a new tab to see who they are. It's so judgy. Delamere Health. Let me open link a new tab to see who they are. It sounds judgy.

Delamere Health Addiction Treatment Centers. Oh, okay. This is in America, is it? Yes, it's.com. I need to go to rehab. Addiction, internet addiction treatment. Oh, hello, I'm Alex, admissions manager here. How can I help?

We're open as normal during the COVID-19 outbreak. So they deal with all sorts of addiction and internet addiction is one of the addictions that they deal with. Wow.

So many sorts of addictions. Alcohol, drugs, other addictions, gambling, sex, and the internet. That's my favourite part

of the internet. Website. That website. Right. Okay. It's underneath alcohol which is good. Drugs the internet. Website. That website, right, okay. It's underneath alcohol, which is good. Drugs, no, not now. So they've come up with seven signs.

Seven signs you're addicted. Number one, you spend hours a day scrolling through online shops. Take a look at your daily screen time and track which sites and apps are soaking up the bulk of your hours. Because sometimes just for a kick, you'll load up your basket or your checkout trolley and then click close just to get the hit. Don't act like that's just a me thing. That's called finding your joy.

Just a little bit of, yeah, but free joy. Yeah. Yeah, but then they email you and say, do you still want that joy stuff? You're missing out. Not yet. 10%. Hold.

Yeah, hold. 10%. You're like, hold. They're like, free shipping? You're like out. Not yet. Here's 10%. Hold. Yeah, hold. They're like, 10%. You're like, hold. They're like, free shipping. You're like, waiting. Waiting. They're like, 25% of free shipping. You're like, charge.

Engage. You spend more than you can afford. That's not just online. That's a shopping addiction full stop. Oh, they've got an infographic here And it's a lady sitting on the ground With her robot vacuum cleaner You've got a robot vacuum cleaner And you love infographics

Do you need a moment? A bit of bait there for me You don't feel like you're in control If you feel like you're momentarily blacked out When on a shopping spree Find yourself clueless about where all your money's gone At the end of the month and stuff turns up that you can't remember ordering?

Some of that's true. Well, it's a problem. You get an urge to shop when you feel upset or angry. Oh, yeah. That's, again, find your joy. There's always a reason to spend. You feel a genuine high when you shop. It's a feeling of exhilaration.

I don't feel like I'm alone. Everyone feels a high when they shop. Yeah. Euphoric rushilaration. I don't feel like I'm alone. Everyone feels a high when they shop. Yeah, euphoric rushes are caused by surges of a brain chemical, dopamine. Much like drug addiction, the brain will produce less dopamine each time as it gets used to the activity. Same with drugs, online shopping, and cheese. Eating cheese is the same.

You're always looking for that initial high. That dopamine, isn't it? I'll tell you what's got a bottomless pit of dopamine. What? Trust me, I've looked at the bottom. That was a wee treat for the live stream. They wouldn't have seen I had it behind the screen. Apologise to our live stream listeners

that saw Vaughn mimicking a disgusting act. Good luck getting to the bottom of that pit though. They did see it on the live stream. Okay, good. You buy so much that you have items you've never worn or used. Uh-oh. Speaking of which, how many Wookiees

were killed for your jacket today? This is unreal fur, so it's not real. Also, don't you have two colours of that? You've got a... Do you? Yeah.

I was going to say, I thought you dyed that one. No, I've got a grey one and then I've also got like a different colour one but that's not for work. That's like special. What colour is the special but that's not for work that's like special. What colour is the special one

that's not for work? It's like grey-y, brown-y. I don't... Like what animal would it be colour of? Possum? It's not an animal.

No, no, no, but I'm just thinking of fur and then you... Maybe like a rabbit. I wouldn't get too close to your require candles. You'll go up in flames. That'd go up

in five seconds or less. No, remember my grey one. It's all burnt down the arm because I leaned across it. And my friend had to put it. An element. You leaned across a what? I leaned across a candle.

And my friend had to put me out. You'd go up. Yeah, see, you thought I was joking, warning her about candles. She's a bloody mess. Another sign of addicted to shopping, you stay up late to shop. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, because for multiple reasons.

This is all you, this list, isn't it? But you're just lying in bed scrolling on the app. What's wrong with that? It's no different to scrolling on Instagram. You're just like, you know, saving everything in your cart for later. Yeah, everybody's scrolling for something, aren't they? Ways to deal with it. Remove shopping apps from your phone.

Delete your card details from the web browser because you know how it saves it And it's really easy to shop Monitor the time you spend Scrolling online Understand it's not the norm To have the same amount Of clothes and possessions

As influencers That's It's these bloody Influencers fault again Yeah Try the 48 hour rule That's when you're about To buy something

Leave it for 48 hours And see if you still Want it or need it Or if the urge is gone Delete it It won't work Because they email you The specials Don't they Give yourself a savings goal about to buy something, leave it for 48 hours and see if you still want it or need it or if the urge is gone, delete it. It won't work because they email you the specials, don't they?

Give yourself a savings goal to work towards. Yeah. Megan's rolling her eyes. But then what are you saving for? To buy something, right? It's an endless cycle. Again, find your joy.

There's little things we need right now. It's capitalism, man. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan. Play ZM. If you're having food delivered, so we're talking like your Hello Freshers, you know, like boxed foods or even supermarket food deliveries, just be careful because a bunch of people have said that their food has been stolen straight after it was delivered off their front door. I've often seen supermarket deliveries sitting there.

I'm like, man, take it in, quick. Isn't everybody home? I mean, obviously, if you're an essential worker, you're out. But if you're home, who's just... Driveways, though, they're doing contactless. I'm imagining they'll pop it on the inside of your gate or outside if you don't have one, just in spite of the letterbox and they'll message saying delivered.

But you mean like that's your neighbours, right? Because who else is around to take it? Oh, people are so brazen. We had some stuff nicked in the foyer the other day. People just walk in and I'm like, it's broad daylight. There are security cameras. People don't give. What was stolen in the foyer the other day. People just walk in and I'm like, it's broad daylight. Like there are security cameras. People don't give. What was stolen from the foyer?

Oh, they just ripped open like parcels and letterboxes and stuff. Crazy, eh? Oh, Lord. So a mother of four in Sandringham, she had her HelloFresh box stolen eight minutes after it was delivered. Eight minutes? That's like someone in the neighbourhood, right? Someone's following the curry around, right?

Yeah. Probably. Probably, actually. And with supermarket deliveries at the moment, that's only for people who, you know, like can't go to the supermarket. Well, yeah. That's for essential.

High risk. I know that, yeah, people that are at home, not hibernating, isolating. Hibernating is better. The supermarket wait times are insane. Yeah. Like it's hard to even get them same day. So if you can

help out friends that you know are isolating maybe by going to the supermarket for them. If you don't have to isolate that would be a help as well. I know that that's helping a lot of people at the moment. We're doing click and collect. You order and your friends go get it. Oh. Have you done that?

No, but I always leave. That's the only way I do supermarket shopping now. I want to do the click and collect. It's amazing. Are they waiting in the little locker? Yeah. Yeah, there's a person in there. And then they get your cold stuff out of the little fridge.

You just rock up and you're like shopping for Megan. Oh, wait, so there's somebody there. No, our one's in the car park. You just put a pin in. I've seen the one in there. So do they send you the pin? It's chilled. I think so.

Yeah, they've got chillers. It's a chilled booth. Oh, yeah, no, my one you have to go up and just be like, hey, and they go get it for you. Yeah, right. But they have a special little car park too that you park right outside the door. Yeah.

Go in, get it. What's the symbol? I don't know. It's their logo. A little trolley? Oh, is it? Yeah. It should be a computer or something.

Yeah. Okay. Dealing with the big issues today. What's the logo for your supermarket's click and collect park? Should be a computer. Sure. Or a mouse. Or just that arrow that we're all familiar with.

If you are getting some essential items delivered, yeah, be careful because there has been a computer. Sure. Or a mouse. Or just that arrow that we're all familiar with. If you are getting some essential items delivered, yeah, be careful because there has been a surge. I had some essential Prosecco delivered on Friday and I was on that shit like a hawk. I was down there waiting. Good, good, good, good, good, good. You know thieves love their Prosecco.

That yellow label stuff. You're always seeing criminal types. I got a 10% off. I got a 10% off. I got a good deal on that. The latest is next. It's Chris Hemsworth and anti-vaxxer details next. Oh, what? Are we going to have to cancel him?

Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. There's been a look into foods that lengthen or shorten one's life. So here we go. Here we So, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Pizza. Yep. Seven and a half minutes lost.

What, per slice or per whole pizza? I don't know, it just says pizza. So, to me, that feels like a whole pizza. Yeah, right. That's not bad because it'll take you longer than that to eat it. Okay, fair call. A double cheeseburger, 8.8 minutes lost. So they're saying that this shortens your life

because of how much bad stuff's in it. Yeah. That's a new way of looking at things. Yeah, because you know you always think, okay, I'm going to eat this chocolate bar, that's 45 minutes on the treadmill or the cross trainer. And then you don't do 45 minutes. No, no, but you just think, well, if I did, that's what minutes on the treadmill or the cross trainer. And then you don't do 45 minutes. No, no, but you just think, well, if I did, that's what it would be.

So this is done by calculating the health burden of one gram of any food and then scaling it up to the standard serving size. So before that pizza thing is probably like a serving of pizza, which is a slice, which is ridiculous. Don't make servings unrealistic. No. So sodium, trans fatty acids, et cetera, et cetera. So then bacon, six and a half minutes lost per serving of bacon.

Arguably worth it. Cheese, cheddar cheese, one and a half minutes lost. Oh, my God. That means yesterday, because yesterday at the press conference, I don't have any cheese, like any like Camden View or Nice Cheeses. So I was like, I'm really craving cheese. So I grated a small plate of cheese and watched a press conference. Yeah, that's fine.

Do you love grated cheese? Why does it taste so much better? It's everything iterated. Like I could get the block of cheese and make a cut down, you know, make a slice. Not that great. Wouldn't bother. But you grate it and make a mound of it. Gets the air around it.

So good. It's that dopamine hit too. Allows a bit of flow. Soft drink, 12 and a half minutes. For like a glass or something. It's all the sugar, isn't it? Yeah, that must be a full strength. Yeah.

A hot dog. Hot dogs, the big dog. 36 minutes. Like an American hot dog. Yeah. Wow. That's so young though. It's the processed meats in the sauce probably.

The white bread. So you can always like, this is how I justify it, lots of things. Well, that's an American hot dog, but we do our meat a bit different here. That's what I say. Yeah, true, probably. The white bread. So you can always like, this is how I justify lots of things. Well, that's an American hot dog, but we do our meat a bit different here. That's what I say. Yeah, true, true. Is that the worst on the list? Yes. Now, here are the things that could gain you some life. Oh, okay. French fries.

One and a half minutes gained. Now, this is where you team that up with some cheese, because you lose one and a half minutes with cheese. And it's neutral. Have it with french fries. You back it even, baby. I'm sorry, but how does...

How does french fries... Yeah. I don't know. It says gain. Is it because it's potato? Yeah, I don't know. That is... Okay, this list is ridiculous.

Avocado, nearly three minutes. 2.8 minutes. Okay. So there's not a comparable one there, but if you put a lot of avocado on your double cheeseburger, you could even it out. Banana, 13 and a half minutes. So there's not a comparable one there, but if you put a lot of avocado on your double cheeseburger, you could even it out. Banana, 13 and a half minutes. Great news. Have one of those with a soft

drink. You're actually still in the black there. Tomatoes, three and a half minutes gained if you have tomatoes on your pizza. Bingo. Maybe they need to get some fresh fruit and veg in the ambulances and when someone's dying out, just poke a banana in them. Yeah, and be like, well, actually, you've got 30 and a half more minutes now

and according to Google Maps, that's how long it's going to take us to get to hospital. Poke, poke, poke. Well, this competition was born when the Auckland Harbour Bridge got a ding in it and traffic was crawling down to one lane and everybody was stuck on the motorway. So we devised a game and we are bringing it back for those right now that are stuck in COVID testing queues around the country. Yep, and you're doing the right thing. Good on you, New Zealand.

Record numbers of tests and vaccinations. Yeah. Was it Monday or Sunday they vaccinated 1% of the population in one day? Wow. It's like a million New Zealanders have had both doses now. Yeah. So that's pretty bloody good stuff. Loads of people booking in as well.

Jessica joins us. Good morning, Jess. Good morning. Whereabouts are you waiting for your COVID test? Mansfield. Fielding. Oh, okay. Fielding! You've got cars in front of you and behind you?

Yes. Okay, that is an essential part of this game. Also, if you are in a COVID testing queue, give us a call because if Jess, if we don't, if we fail here, we go on to the next car. Uh-huh.

And we do have $100 up for grabs. Yeah. So today we're guessing the make of the car in front of you and behind you. We will need some details. Oh, you won't be able to see the person in front of you, eh? What do you mean? Like, you won't be able to see their face, but you'll see the person behind you. You'll be able to look in the rear view mirror and give us a little bit of an indication

as to what. Yeah. Who person behind you, you'll be able to look in the rear view mirror and give us a little bit of an indication as to what. Yeah. Who's behind you? So the make of the car, what, make and the model, I always get confused. The makes, who makes it, right? Yes. Honda, Toyota. Yes. And the model is what kind of? Yeah, right. So we're looking for the make.

So do you know the make of the car in front of you and behind, Jessica? Um, I think it's um, Ford. Okay, well, you've just told us. You've just told us. And the idea is that we're meant to guess. So I think we're going to have to go for colours here, aren't we?

Let's go to colours. Now, Jess, don't tell us. Don't tell us the colour of that Ford in front of you. Don't tell us the colour because we have to guess, okay? Now, let's start with the car in front of you. What kind of car? Is this the Ford, the one in front of you? Yes.

Okay, what kind of Ford is it? It's a Mustang. Oh, a Mustang. I'm going to go red. Don't tell us yet though, Jessica. Don. A Mustang. I'm going to go red. Don't tell us yet, though, Jessica. Don't tell us. I'm going to go red like a red Mustang. White.

Oh, I was going to go white. Oh, I see this lady on the North Shore driving a white Mustang. Don't tell us, Jessica. Don't tell us. I think I'm going to go. They have blue ones, too. Yeah. They have nice blue ones.

And there's orange. Yellow. Yellow. I'm just going to go blue. Is the car in front of you one of those colours? Yes. Which one? Red.

The car in front of you, the Ford, is a red Mustang. There we go. Yes. All right, now we're going to move to the car behind you, Jessica. What kind of car is it? It's a Toyota. Oh, it's a Toyota. A white, white Toyota.

Silver. I'm going to go a maroon, like a red maroon. Oh, okay. Huh? It's silver. It's silver It's silver Did you get that right? Megan got silver

Easy, there we go, $100 Fantastic That happened, didn't it? That was great Jessica, well done Thank you Okay, there we go Brilliant, good luck for a negative COVID test And you have a lovely day there In fielding Great. Jessica, well done. Thank you. Okay. There we go. Brilliant.

Good luck for a negative COVID test, and you have a lovely day there in fielding. Great. Thank you. Okay. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. A woman in the UK has shared this on Mumsnet. It is a story about the most ridiculous complaint.

She actually overheard it, so they weren't complaining to her. They were in a, she said, I was in a fast food restaurant and an angry woman came in to complain to the manager that her food had dropped on the floor yesterday and was demanding her money back. Not only that, she had pictures of how the food had dropped on the floor. Wait, what?

Who dropped it on the floor? She did. So she took it home, takeaways, got it home, dropped it on the floor, came back and asked. Took photos. Took photos and then went back the next day. To ask for a refund with the receipts and the photos. I just, I don't know how people in retail or customer service deal with customers. Did she cite the packaging as the issue for dropping?

Was it a slippery package? It doesn't sound like it. Did it fall through the bag or something? And she's like, you overloaded this bag, for example. If that happened to you, that's on you, right? You'd be like, I'm an idiot. I would pick it up and I would eat it. Yeah, I'd eat it off the floor.

I'd eat it. Yeah. Five-second rule. Yum, oh, I'm an idiot. I would pick it up and I would eat it. Yeah, I'd eat it off the floor. Yeah. Five second rule. Yum, yum, yum. But I mean, you understand because I know people have been sharing now because of this post on Mumsnet, people have been sharing the times in retail

and customer service they've had to deal with customers that weren't right. Because there's a saying, the customer's always right. I mean, that's just because you don't want to ever bag out the customer, right? It's not actually true. I can think of a time when someone spilt their coffee. They'd gone into their car and spilt their coffee on themselves in the car.

Their takeaway coffee. And their complaint to us was that we didn't rush out to help them clean it up. But you're busy in the cafe. Yeah, you know. I'm really sorry. That's awful. Just come back in. Did you know that that spilled?

Because the car. The car's outside. Yeah. And they were like, ah. And also. Why is no one rushing to assist me? Shop full of customers. Yeah.

Did you just give them a serviette and say, here you go? Gave them a wet cloth and said, here we go. People are just like morons, eh? Yeah. Did you just give them a serviette and say, here you go? I gave them a wet cloth and said, here we go. But, um... People are just like morons, eh? Yeah. Yeah. So she did ask for other people's experiences and boy, did she get it. Someone said that their husband once on holiday complained to a member of the hotel staff

that the birds were tooting too loudly in the morning. I have no idea what he wanted them to do about it. A woman dobbed in her own husband for a dumb complaint. That just reminds me of White Lotus and the lovely Armand having to deal with all the customers and then how he

just spirals out of control in his life because of all these people's issues. If you need a show to binge, White Lotus on Neon are amazing. It's one of the best shows of the year. Someone said, I once had a customer threaten to complain to my manager because I asked him to leave the store. But the reason I asked him to leave was because the fire alarm was going off

and we were evacuating the shopping centre. Right, gotcha. So that was pretty obvious. We thought this morning we'd take your calls. 0800 DALSATM. Text in as well, 9696. So that was pretty obvious. We thought this morning we'd take your calls. 0800 DARS at M. Text in as well, 9696. When was the customer not always right?

What was their crazy complaint? See your great stories from retail and customer service. We would like to know when the customer was not right. A woman shared her story on Mumsnet about someone who had dropped their takeaways at home, taking a photo and gone back the next day with the receipt demanding a refund. I did, I ate them. I took a photo of them on the ground

and then ate them. Ate them. Oh yeah, because you don't have to. Yeah, and then went back. It's like if there is something wrong with your burger, you're like, well, I'll just take one bite out of this other side and then go complain. And then one bite and then it's all gone.

Yeah, I'll take my cold fries back, but I'll have four more just quickly. That's what's happening. Let's be honest, we all do that, right? Yeah. Yeah. So we want to know from you when the customer wasn't right. Some great texts and calls coming through.

Someone said, I work for a charity shop. A customer came in wanting to know how much a book was. I gave her a price. She complained to my manager for making up a price and said it was too low. Too low? No, that's just charity shops. Yeah. Get a bargain.

Then we just made up a price? And why are you complaining if it's too low? Maybe they were a secret shopper from whatever charity they were raising money for. They were like, we'll never make money for this charity if you keep lowballing it. Hannah, when was the customer not right? So a few years ago, I worked retail.

Yeah. And in a department store, and I actually worked in the lingerie section. Oh, okay. Was it farmers? Was it farmers? Don't say no. No, I won't say.

It sounds like it was, though. I won't say. Was it Decker? That would be a few years ago. Yeah, Decker would have some sweet bras. I'm actually out of department stores that have bras. H&M. Yeah.

I mean, there's a limited list, guys. There's a limited list. Yeah, there is. And so we would see returns here and there. Not many, as you can imagine. But people are allowed to return lingerie. Tags on, receipt, all good. So we did have this lady come in.

First of all, when you bring in an inconspicuous plastic bag with something in it, I'm already red flagging. So she brings in this plastic bag and takes out this bra. The bra is, it's not super heavily worn, but it's definitely been worn. And the wire, the underwire has come out. Okay. So she tells us, you know, like, I'd like to return this. Like, the wire's come out.

You know, that's not really good enough. We kind of have a look at it. We kind of decide, okay, have you got the receipt? No receipt. Okay, that's okay. We can look it up on the system if you're part of our club. She says it's like a few months old, so that's why we bother going through with having a look up on the system because you can return something if it's faulty. So we're looking it up, looking at the dates, nothing. We go back a few months, more, nothing.

We go back a year, more, nothing. Long story short, we end up going back like three years, four years even. We find the receipt. The bra is three years old. Oh, my God, no. No. You didn't hit the touch to this manky four-year-old brat.

She didn't indicate to you that it was ages ago. She said it was a few months. Yeah. She genuinely came in and said it was a few months old, hence why we looked it up on the system. Because, you know, if it is faulty, then that's cool. She was very confident. There was no, you know, there was no like, we believed it.

And then when, honestly, the look on people's faces when you do find the receipt to tell them, I now know it is three years old. Yeah. And did she just leave and you just had to say nah or did you have to give her some money? No, you have to give them the little spiel. I'm so sorry.

It's actually over our two-week return policy. Yeah, by three and a something months. Yeah, three years and something months. Yeah, so she just put it back in her little bag and off she went. Customers, am I right, Hannah? Oh. Hannah, thanks for your call. Elena, when was the customer not right?

I used to work at a sandwich shop. Okay, yeah, I think I know, but carry on. I'm not too aware, but I had a customer ask for extra sauce on their meatball sandwich. A meatball sandwich? Who could it be? Were they long sandwiches? Yes, maybe about a foot long.

Oh, okay. Would you do half a foot though? Yes, I would do half a foot sometimes. Peter Pit, Peter Pit. I've put all the clues in here, guys. It's a Peter Pit sandwich. All right, you're working at Peter Pit, and someone wants extra sauce on their meatballs.

Yeah, and I said, are you sure? It'll make it pretty soggy. He's like, no, put it on, put it on. And I said, okay, tell me when to stop and keep going. And he was busy on his phone, wasn't really paying attention. I was like, this is going to be really soggy, are you sure? He's like, yeah, no, it's good. So I finished making the sandwich.

He paid for it, went and sat down. And then about a minute later, he walks up to the counter and just hurls the sandwich at me and goes, it's soggy. I can't eat this. He threw a sandwich at you? He did. He got so mad. It's true.

And I had just marinara sauce everywhere. He wanted the marinara sauce. He wanted it. He did. It was directly working. I would say you've thrown a sandwich at the wrong person because I've got an ammo load of stuff to throw at you, sir. I would have grabbed that little knife that you cut them in half with

and just stabbed him in the jugular. I would have used cookies as ninja stars. That's unbelievable. Customers, am I right? How did this resolve itself? How did this resolve itself? I was kind of in shock, two shocks, and my manager took over. But we never saw him again, so I think, yeah, he wins.

Did the manager, like, drag this dude out by the scruff of the neck, or did he make him another sandwich? He made him another sandwich. No, no, no, no. How did you manage this sort of behaviour? That's assault. I know. That's assault.

It is assault by sandwich. People have been charged with assault for throwing water on people, so I'm pretty sure a foot-long pita you could definitely get charged for. Especially with those pop-up hot meatballs and marinara sauce. Thanks, you call Elena. Caroline, when was the customer not right? Hello. Well, I used to work at a department store of red branding.

Hang on a sec, Caroline. We need a moment here to figure out what one that could be. Walmart. Yeah, I think it was. Yeah, something like that. Gotcha. And I used to work on the returns desk, and someone came in with a blender.

Okay. And they said it was faulty, and I said, what's the fault? And they brought it out, and they pointed at this hole in the side of the blender. That's a big fault there, Caroline. What did you put inside it? And I was like, just an avocado. And I was like, a whole avocado?

And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So they put the whole avocado with the stone inside the blender and it smashed a hole in the side of the blender. Wow. And so the hole was... It a hole in the side of the blender. Wow. And so the hole was... Well, it gets worse. Okay. Go on then.

I then said, I'm sorry, this is not a fault of the blender. I didn't want to say this is a fault of you. Use it, yeah. And they got really angry and threw the blender at the counter and it ricocheted past my ear. I luckily got out of the way just in time, but it flew past my ear. I could feel it. I was like, what?

And security removed him. Why are people throwing things at these lovely folks? I had a look on the CCTV camera. It looked like a Matrix kind of dodging out the way. He didn't have any marinara sauce on his T-shirt, did he? He didn't, no.

It was actually quite clean, actually. He bothered to actually clean the blender before returning it, but it had a huge avocado smashed hole in the side. Oh, my God, customers. Am I right? I know, right. Just, yeah, horrible. Caroline, thank you for sharing some messages in Some great stories in

I worked at a department store a few years back And someone wanted to return their Maxwell and Williams plate Oh, I've got Maxwell and Williams stuff I've had Maxwell and Williams It's a classic Very familiar with Familiar sounding name Because it had a chip in it

I said, oh, certainly do you have the receipt? And they pulled it out It was from five years ago What is wrong with people? And they kept the receipt What is wrong with people? I don kept the receipt. What is wrong with people? I don't know. Also, that chip is your fault.

Yeah, it's rough handling. Yeah. It's rough handling of the plates. I used to work in a popular woman's clothing store. We would have multiple young females buy outfits for the weekend, wear them to events with the tags still on but tucked away somewhere. That's what Megan does. No, it isn't.

You've still got a tag in your bra right now. It's gone all soft and mushy. No, it's wearing a bra on the... It's yellowed. It's yellowed. The tag is yellowed. There's the big tag. Like old white plastic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then they'd bring them back on Monday saying that they were unworn and asked for a refund. If we said no, because clearly they'd been worn and smelled, they'd complain and ask for the manager. and the manager would be like no manky yeah wow so many a customer once um was banging on the window of our store and we would just like ignore them and they'll go away and they kept banging on the window of the store so we went out and we said what's happening and they said i'd love to come into your store but first you need to turn off your Wi-Fi.

And I said, we can't turn off the Wi-Fi. We're a telecommunications store and we need that. That's how we run all of our payment stuff. And they said, well, I'm not coming in unless you turn off the Wi-Fi. And I said, well, I guess you're not coming in. I want Fletch to work in retail just for one day. Oh, I wouldn't last a day. I'd be fired. I'd be fired. I'd be fired.

Some more have rolled in. I work at Briscoe's and someone tried to return a slow cooker because it wasn't boiling water fast enough. You're after a jug. You're too dumb to be alive. You're after a jug. What do you say to that, though? Imagine how yum that water would be after

eight hours though. Because you know, I love pork after eight hours in a slow cooker. The water would be so tender. The minerals. I worked for Just Jeans. I had someone call and ask me to find a product. I tried for ages to figure out what she was after and I was like, I'm sorry

we just don't have this product. And she started to tell me how stupid I was and had I looked on the west side of the store. And I said, what are you talking about? And she said, it says Jeans West. So she called Just Jeans about a product that Jeans West had and then when they couldn't find it, she started abusing this person saying they're stupid because they hadn't checked the west side

of the store. Just Jeans West. I would have said. Just means west. Just means west. I explained to her a completely different store. She swore at me and hung up. Wow. CDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan.

Fact of the day, day a genetic anomaly which can lead to very dense bones. Oh, okay. So you know when you're like, I'm big bone. I got me them dense bones. That's a certainly excuse people will be using after this latest lockdown. I had so much calcium in the lockdown. I got the dense bone. So in 1994, a man was in a car accident and they were like, oh, he'll be dead.

And he wasn't. And he didn't even have a broken bone. Oh, wow. And it turns out that he had very, very dense bones. And one of the interesting things, it was eight times higher than the average for a man his age. Yeah. And the guy who kind of wanted to remain anonymous because I guess he didn't want to get turned into a lab rat. Yeah, but not that the government was going to pinch him

and be like, why are they so dense? He said, oh, that makes sense. I could never swim as a kid. What? He sunk. He'd jump into swimming and he'd be like, well, I can't stay afloat. And the teacher's like, go on your back, relax.

He's like... Is that why you're no good at swimming? Dense bones. You might have dense bones. Maybe. But if it's eight times the density It's gotta be a lot heavier Right? This guy must have weighed a lot

Like people wouldn't have believed his weight Yeah cause you would You'd be so heavy And it's not your fault Yeah Dense bones For real When he

They were like This car crash is bad He's gonna be in big trouble They took him along to a radiologist And and the radiologist did the x-rays. They're like, not only is none of these bones broken, but they're unusually dense. Yeah, right. And then they ran some tests, and they were eight times the density.

Is he in the Guinness Book of World Records? For the densest bone. For having the densest bones? Do you know how cool would that be, just to get a Guinness World Record? Yeah. Just being born into it. So, yeah, he said he always had trouble swimming. And at one stage, he needed a hip replacement surgery.

And his bones were so dense, they couldn't get the joint into the... Because they hammer it into the... Yeah. And they couldn't do it. Oh, wow. Because it was so dense. And apparently this was something that kind of ran in his family. And they said it's a genetic thing.

And since that, it has popped up in different people. Yeah. During, you know, things like accidents seem to bring it to the forefront. And then apparently this is kind of what that M. Night Shyamalan movie is based on. Unbreakable. Have you seen that with Bruce Willis? And he's the dude and he can't be broken. And Samuel L. Jackson's like Mr. Glass.

He's like really fragile. And then later on they team up with James McAvoy. I never watched that one. No. I never got around to watching that one. So today's fact of the day is you can have denser bones. And this is an excuse to be freely used on the other side of the lockdown. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. We need some shows. We need some feel-good shows in lockdown. And we've had a lot of votes on our Instagram on good shows to watch. Thousands, thousands. So this is a definitive, I'd say a definitive list. So these aren't all new, but these are a list of shows that people are binging in lockdown.

Yeah. Starting with The Great British Bake Off, which you can watch on Neon. Really? You always hear about this. Oh, people in Britain love it. People get so impassioned about it, but I've never actually sat down and watched one. It was another one of those shows that caused the power grid problems, eh? Because it would get to the ads and everyone would go flick on the jug and it would like...

You might like it because you like that other baking, what was it called? No, I like that Nailed It. Well, only the first season because it got a bit same same so I haven't been watching it lately but yeah, it was just disasters. It was hilarious. The next one people are binging is

Grace and Frankie which is on Netflix. I've had friends tell me this would be a good show to watch. Jane Fonda, right? Yeah, the sitcom. Yeah. I started it. Is it about two... Two older gals.

Two and their husbands, do they get together or something? Is that the premise of that? Yeah, that's the story, right? Okay, right. The Good Place on Netflix. This is with Jameela Jamil and is it Ted Danson? Yeah Again, that's a show people rave about

but I just look at it and I'm like, I don't know if I'd like that I don't know if you would either I don't know if it's up your alley Love, Victor on Disney Plus So this is the spin-off from the movie Love, Simon and it's on Disney Plus and I've had friends say it's quite good Does it feel good or is it a bit dramatic?

It's probably feel good. The movie was quite feel good, wasn't it? Okay. Gilmore Gils is on Netflix. If you want to start that from the beginning. They talk too fast. They talk so fast. It's like Dawson's Creek.

You're like, no teenagers are talking like this. This is one of those shows that's an old show. Iconic. It's iconic, but it's still made the list. People are still going back and re-watching. You always forget that Melissa McCarthy was in this. Oh, I did not know Melissa McCarthy was in this. Yeah, that's right, eh?

I didn't know that. Yeah, like her breakout role. So yeah, Gilmore Girls on Netflix. Schitt's Creek on Netflix. Oh God, it's so good. How many seasons is this? Six.

Yeah. Right. And easy to binge and it just gets, yeah, it's one of those shows that people do say, I'll watch an episode

and then stopped. Yeah, when it first came out, I watched an episode and then stopped. But it's one of those ones, yeah, now that it's all out,

you can kind of push on. Taskmaster NZ on TVNZ On Demand. Very good season. Good for you. Bit of a laugh. David Ferreira. He's very funny, isn't he? He lost his mind in a few episodes.

New Girl on Netflix. There's Zooey Deschanel. New Girl. Jake Johnson. Yeah. I used to really love that show. And somebody just speaking of that, I saw they do this Great American Hero drinking game.

Right. And it's kind of like nonsense, but somebody has watched episodes over and over and over and over and worked out the rules of the drinking game. Because that's the thing, watching it, when you just watch it, when they play it, it seems to make no sense. Right, okay.

Yeah. That's a hell of a commitment. Okay, so these are the lists that we've compiled from your votes of the most feel good TV shows to binge. Number two on TVNZ On Demand is Friends. Isn't that wild? It's comfortable, right? I think that's why people turn to stuff they already know.

This happened last lockdown. I remember everyone was watching Friends. And wasn't that when it was on Netflix and it was in the top 10? Yeah. Wild. Yeah. And number one, you guys are raving about this, on Apple TV+, Ted Lasso.

Oh, yes. Yeah, because I've recommended that to so many people and everyone's like, I don't have an Apple TV subscription. I think it's $8.99 a month. Yeah. But if you haven't used a free subscription, you can binge. Free trial. Yeah, just binge the whole thing. And season two's week by week and it's $8.99 a month. Yeah. But if you haven't used a free subscription, you can binge. Free trial. Yeah, just binge the whole thing.

And season two's week by week, and it's coming out, and I think they're five or six in. And it's good for lockdown, right? Because you keep saying it's feel good. It's so feel good. Like, more feel good than Schitt's Creek. Even melted your heart. Oh, yeah.

It's intense. It's got 22 Emmy nominations. Wow. That is huge. Yeah, right. Someone said, how come the 1pm Daily Update isn't on your list? It's got 9.4 on IMDb. It's not always feel good.

It's not feel good, yeah. It's not always feel good. It's not. It's a drama. Yeah. It's got its ups and its downs. Although it did become a bit of a comedy with Chris Hipkins the other day. The Siege.

The Siege. Laid siege to us, didn't he? So there you go. There's some more TV shows to binge. Well, yesterday I did it, guys. I got my first Pfizer, my COVID-19 vaccination. And just like people said, hardly even felt it going in. Bit of a dead arm the next day.

Beg your pardon? No, you said the same thing, right? It's such a skinny, like, needle. You know how much I don't like needles. I know. And vaccinations and all that jazz, but I did it, and you don't, honestly, don't feel the needle. When you say you don't like vaccinations,

you mean because there's a needle. I don't like the needles. Yeah. I get every vaccination I need to, for the record. Yeah. But what a well-oiled machine. So good, eh? I want to say to the staff that are masked up

and that are working, what an incredible job, all that helpful information and questions. And it's just incredible, in and out. I know some people have had some waits, but heck, well-oiled machine. I'm hearing a lot of people say that. Oh, I think the vaccination people, the people that are conducting the COVID tests,

these massive, like, drive-through COVID testing stations that have popped up or, you know, been beefed up this week. Yeah. Amazing work. Yeah, now... Phenomenal. Do you have vaccine stats? I've got vaccine stats.

You've got vaccine stats because I had a stat that said 2.61 million doses given. Woo, yes. That's on Google. That's Google vaccination overview. Vaccinations yesterday, 26,835 people received their first dose vaccination. Wow. Because was it Sunday or Monday they did 1% of the population, which doesn't sound much because it's 1%, but that's a lot.

That was our biggest. That's a lot. Second dose administered, there was 8,965 second doses yesterday. So 35,000 doses all up. So far, 1.779 million New Zealanders. So let's call it a round. After today, it should definitely be 1.8. What, about 20% of the population?

Yeah. Yeah. Have had their first dose of the COVID-19 vaccine. We now have 1 million fully vaccinated New Zealanders. They've had their second dose. So sorry, when I said 20%, that's fully vaccinated New Zealand. That's good. Just under 20% fully vaxxed.

Yeah, because we're a population of a mil. And if you think about it, only, you know. A mil, five mil, four mil. Huh? You said a mil. I meant to say five mil. Yeah. Then that said a mil.

Yeah. I can see how it happened. I just, I wanted to correct you because I didn't want people to think we were living in a country of one million. No. It's not 1931. It's a team of five million. to think we were living in a country of one million. No, it's not 1931. It's a team of five million. We've got a few more.

Team of five million. The team of five million. Yeah. When you think about even only before this latest one, the ages that could be vaccinated were only the upper ages. Yeah. So, you know, 20% of this stage, not bloody bad at all. But you can get out there and start booking. And that's another thing. You're going to need

bookings. So yeah, there's been 2.78 total doses, 2.78 million total doses of the vaccine administered across first and second jabs. I get my second one this time next week and then I'll be fully vaxxed. You'll be fully vaxxed.

Some people say it's the second one that makes you feel a bit yucky. Vax, wax and plan the sax. If you play the saxophone and you've also had pubic waxing, that is absolutely free for you to use on socials. I don't think pubic waxing is a level four essential service. Unless you're doing the home cats. Do it yourself.

Oh, yeah, no. Careful. Just remember, hold the skin taut. And that's today's big tip and takeaway from Vaughan Smith. Hold the skin taut. If you're going to wax your pubes, hold the skin taut. Or even shaving as well, hold the skin taut. You don't want to, especially with clippers,

the skin folds can get up into the... I had a neck with the clippers recently. God, it bleeds. It bleeds. It really bleeds. So again, the big life lesson today. Did you just tell me you nicked your balls recently? Yeah. You know who else nicked their

balls at sea? Arr! You don't be talking about Black Balls the Pirate, do ye? ZM's Fleshborne and Megan.