ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 24th September 2020

Episode Date: September 23, 2020

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Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Warner Megan podcast. It's thanks to Mick Cafe Coffee for great tasting barista main coffee on the go. That was a pause for effect. It was a great tasting. You thought what? What else is it? He's commed. Yeah, he's commed again. That's just another string in my bow as a professional broadcaster. Another quiver in my... How gross is the word quiver? Oh, you mean like a... Another arrow in your quiver. Does the quiver hold the arrows? No, the quiver's the bit on the arrow, isn't it?

The quiver is the arrow. I don't know, actually. You were meaning noun quiver. I was meaning like... A quiver of arrows. Yeah, right, okay. So maybe it is the thing that holds the arrows. The little collector.

Quiver of arrows. A case for carrying or holding arrows. An arrow's in a quiver, so it's another arrow in your quiver. There you go Brilliant Excellent Great little piece of knowledge What are you doing after this? Are you going to see your auntie?

No I am going to see my auntie No that's tomorrow after For the weekend Okay because I heard you before Saying you're off to see auntie Yeah she said We're just going to call in and see them We're not staying with them

She said well you know my policy to call in and say that we're not staying with them. She said, well, you know my policy. I'll make you your first drink. You take it from there. So that means that she'll shout you a drink, but don't expect her to just be giving you beers all night. I don't think she says all the time. No, she said, you know my policy. I've never heard this policy before in my life.

So there's no way I knew this policy. Also, no one's overstaying it as some random auntie they never see's place for any more than 10 minutes, are they? I said to her, luckily, the first drink's always the strongest. She quite liked that. Oh, did she? Okay. Yeah.

What are you going to see your auntie for? I just haven't seen them for a while. I'm going to be in the area. Weird. I'm going to go see my auntie and uncle. Okay. Yeah. You trying to get in the well. Weird. I'm going to go see my auntie and uncle. Okay. Yeah. You trying to get in the well or something?

Oh, you know it. I'm just going to leapfrog. It sounds like a power play. I'm just going to leapfrog their four other children. How will I do that? Boating accident. What? Good Lord.

I mean, they don't even have a boat. You need to overtake them, not kill them. That's why there was an accident. They didn't know how to operate the boat. What do even have a boat He meant overtake them Not kill them That's why there was an accident They didn't know how to operate the boat So I was like What do you buy a boat for? Well there you go You're number one now

That was a bit grim wasn't it? So I'm killing all of them now No Killing his cousins I'm killing all of my cousins Just the cousins So you're number one There's a lot of them though

And they've all got kids and stuff Oh yeah don't do that then That was a terrible idea If I was to kill them all and their partners, they've got like 12, I'd be killing 20 people. Yeah, that's genocide. That's mass murder. Is that genocide?

It's on the way to it. ZM. And music lives here. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan, the podcast. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. Two minutes past six. Yep. Level two in Auckland now, as you just heard in the news, which is great.

You can have gatherings up to 100, which is great for everyone who's going to be stuck on the Harbour Bridge today. There's going to be more than 100 of you. But you'll be in your cars, so there'll be some separation there. Yeah, true. But other than that. Why don't you say, because you've got an orange next to you. Yeah.

And an apple, Megan. There was a, in the paper this morning, I just read, because you've got an orange next to you. Yeah. And an apple, Megan. There was a, in the paper this morning, I just read a story, there's an orange farmer. He's like, people in New Zealand are eating so many oranges at the moment compared to normal because of COVID. Because of vitamin C. Oh, vitamin C. Really? I'm just really into oranges again. I'm like, cut them into wedges.

How good are they? Reminds me of school sports. Oh, mate, I could bring you. We've got our orange trees. It's just getting hammered by the tuis. Oh, bring them. The tuis love an orange. Who knew?

Don't just drop on that you've got all these tuis hanging out at your house. Reminds me of an orange tree. Don't just drop on your orange tree. Brag about your citrus around here. Brag about your native birds and your citrus. The tuis are fiends for them. They stick their little beak in there and...

Great. The top six is coming up on the show. Yeah, Auckland University or the University of Auckland or whatever has said that their October graduation

will not go ahead in its usual... Sort of be what? Public situation. That sucks. Having never graduated, I mean, I pass and stuff at my polytechnic, but there was no graduation.

I don't think there was. Oh, that simply won't do. It won't do. That simply won't do. When this whole thing blows over, we'll get you an honorary degree. A certificate. Okay, great.

That's what you have to do for an honorary degree. Just show that you've done something or something. Not even that. Don't celebrities just get that? Yeah, they give them to celebrities all the time. But it's a big deal, the graduation. Oh, yeah. You work hard and then you get to parade the street and then you go up on stage and call

That's your $80,000 parade, baby. It really is. So you'd think they'd just postpone it, right? Until it's level zero. Well, you never know when that's going to be? Yeah, true. That's the world we're living in. But I've got the top six moments that you'll miss at that graduation,

that happen at every graduation. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. So the Department of Internal Affairs, they do the, you know, like passports and stuff. And do they do birth certificates and all that as well? All of your internal affairs. Your marriages and that. Yep.

Well, they have announced that they have seen, and this will not be a surprise to anyone, they have seen a massive drop in passport applications. Oh, yeah. I don't know if your passport runs out, you wouldn't prioritise spending the money to renew it, would you? Well, that's the thing.

If your passport expires, it's not like... Is it harder if your driver's licence expires? Don't you have to redo something? Or do you just pay? Well, because my driver's licence is still the original one from before both my weddings because it was too hard basket. But I've got a new passport. You fill out a form and send it and they send it back.

It's easy. But if it expires like now, why not just wait until we can travel again, right? Because I know they last for 10 years. They last for 10 years. But I mean, we might not be able to go anywhere for a year. Well, that's true. Yeah.

And how much does it cost to rent your passport? It's about $190. Right. Can I have a credit? Because there's like a year and a bit that I'm not going to be able to travel. That's a good call. Good call. But then you can still use it for ID.

Because you always go into the clubs looking underage. Yeah, I mean, there is that. Take the compliment. Thank you. These stats are pretty insane. You're pregnant now. You probably shouldn't be going into the pub. I mean, do what you want, but. Sure. Thank you. These stats are pretty insane. You're pregnant now. You probably shouldn't be going into the pub. I mean, do what you want, but.

Sure. A baby. So in February, 55,000 New Zealand passports were issued. In March, that dropped to 47,500. That was pretty significant compared to the same time last year where 79,000 were handed out. Now, when we went into level four in April, 8,500 passports.

And then you remember we got out and we started talking about a travel bubble. And everyone's like, we're traveling soon. And in May and June, 19,500 in June were printed. Oh, yeah. And then, of course, July, 16,000 people still hopeful there. But now it's obviously down to bugger all. Yeah, right. And in the same period

last year, a quarter of a million, 260,000 passports issued in that same period last year. What? Compared to like, you know, if you add up all those months. Yeah, yeah. Does it still even add up to a quarter of a million? Nah.

No, we're near it. Yeah. Maybe a hundred at most. Do you know, I just went to the Department of Internal Affairs. Yeah. Because apart from passports

and births, deaths and marriages, what do they take care of? Okay. Because I know you hear it all the time. Yeah. Anti-money laundering. Oh, okay.

They look after that. The archives of New Zealand. Oh, what's in there? Everything that's happened. Archives. Okay, everything. All the archive stuff. Censorship enforcement.

So like stickers on video games telling you that you've got to be whatever. The chief censor. Yep. Who is the chief censor now? Because they always used to be in the news wiring on about South Park. Yeah, but that would have been at the absolute low end of things that they saw. David Shanks. Is that still old Shanks?

Shanks, he would see some stuff, eh? Shanks, he has to see everything. Everything, he has to see everything. But then one of the very interesting things that they look after at the Department of Internal Affairs, daylight saving. Do they? What do they have to do there? I don't know.

I'm yet to click on it. I thought we could enjoy that together. Do you think they're... Ads on TV? Maybe. But do you think they're... Ads on TV? Maybe. But do you think they're quite stressed about this weekend because it's Daylight Savings Sunday? Clocks will go forward.

Well, the person at the Department of Internal Affairs, they're governing legislation. Our time zone, the Daylight Savings dates, and the rules around what happens if you're working when the clocks changed are governed by two pieces of legislation. Oh, okay. 1927 we first got Daylight Savings. What happens if you're into clubs? Say the club is open till legislation. Oh, okay. 1927 we first got daylight savings.

What happens if you're in da club? Say the club is open till four. I remember this. In my days, I was da club. Right. It would... But do you get paid that hour? Because technically you're getting an extra hour, right,

all of a sudden. This time... I don't know. You could ask the internal affairs legislation. I don't care that much. It was 2007 that it last changed. Right. You know how it changed now?

It used to be shorter, didn't it? Yeah. I mean, technically you haven't worked that hour because it's just magically appeared, hasn't it? Yeah. And then when it gets taken away from you, you haven't worked that either because it's just magically disappeared.

Well, no, you still worked the hour. Okay. No, but you haven't. I've clicked the link. I can answer your question. Okay. Working when daylight savings begins or ends.

This is handy if you're working when daylight savings kicks in this weekend. Early Sunday morning was chosen for the changeover because fewer people are working at that time.

Who knew? Who knew? Because they couldn't do it. Of course, that's why. No, I didn't know. I didn't think that. I just thought it was because you went to sleep when you woke up it was taken care of. course, that's why. No, I didn't know. I didn't think that. I just thought it was because you went to sleep.

When you woke up, it was taken care of. Yeah, same. It could be like any day. It could be a Friday night. It could be a Saturday night. But I just thought Sunday because it's the start of the week. No, we've talked about this. Monday's the start of the week.

In my mind, Sunday is the start of the week. Okay, so it drastically reduces the impact on workers and employers. Who knew? Who knew? If you're working when daylight savings begins and the clocks go forward, you actually work an hour less, but you are entitled to payment for your normal hours. Okay.

For example, if you were meant to work from midnight to 8am, you will only work seven hours, but you are entitled to be paid for eight hours of work. Wow. If you're working when daylight savings ends and the clocks go back an hour, you are entitled to any extra hours that you work. If you were meant to be working from midnight till eight, but you actually work nine hours,

you'll be paid for nine hours. So you win either way. You see, I agree with the second one, but the first one I'd be like, no bloody way, you work. No, but the hours are taken away as out of your control. That's generally.

Yeah, right. The employees get paid if that's the case. Yeah, so if your boss is a real fletch, you can go to Department of Internal Affairs and then click on Daylight Savings and then it's like legislation, you can click on, it's right there. Right there.

Who knew? It's right there. Who knew? 17 past six. There's a wedding incentive, an incentive to get married in Japan. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So in Japan from ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So in Japan,

from April next year, there is a new incentive, the New Marriage Life Support Project. Right. And this offers newlyweds 600,000 yen, which equates to 5,660 I think that's

American dollars. Wow, so even more. Yeah, that's even more. Yeah, what's that like? $7,000, $8,000 New Zealand dollars or something? So yeah, if they get married past that, they give them that money and it's an aid to look after expenses of their new life together, like rent and things like that. So it encourages them to have a baby.

Does Japanese, this is a genuine question, does Japanese culture still quite do the no living together before marriage? Because, well I know they've had problems with like declining birth rates

and do you know all those single people that just don't want to, yeah what was it, and there was some phenomenal statistic about the amount of Japanese that get to like 30

and they're still virgins. Really? Yeah, and it was like 30 and they're still virgins. Really? Yeah. And it was like mind-bogglingly high. Bogglingly? Bogglingly. Bogglingly. But you're right though.

Like, technically, a lot of people don't have, they have children before they get married. But then you wouldn't be entitled to this grant. This article from July 2017 says, in that year, there were fewer than one million births and the country's population fell by 300,000 people. That's for a country of Japan's size. That's not many, is it? A million? No. And the ageing population.

And the blame has long been put on Japan's young people who are accused of not having enough sex. God damn it, Japan. Yeah. And apparently on women who, as the narrative goes, put their careers before thoughts of getting married and having a family. How dare they. How dare they.

How unbelievable. How absolutely dare they. But, yeah, I don't understand why it can't just be like couples who choose to have a baby. Why does it have to be like for newlyweds specifically? You'd think they'd incentivise, but then they're incentivising people to get together and then you can imagine you're bored in a house or something, you probably end up having sex. So that works as well, doesn't it? But the walls are paper thin.

Japan, paper walls? Hello? No. Yeah, no. I was just trying to figure out, do they like... Hello? Do they flat? Maybe that's why they're not having much sex,

because the walls are paper thin and they're flat. No, you just learn to do it quietly. It's like getting away with it in your parents' house. You've just got to be... You've just got to learn how to do it quietly. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. You've just got to be... She's just going to learn how to do it quietly. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. Hi there. Ho, ho, ho. Ooh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Ho, ho, ho, ho. 91 days, 17 hours and 33 minutes until Christmas. Don't panic. Megan, that actually sent Megan into a little panic when I said that before. Because I usually start my

Christmas shopping in October and that's six days away. Next week. It's time next week. Ah, well. It took a little while to get off the ground. Christmas penetration. I think COVID and the lockdown's kind of paused

retailers. It's been's kind of forced retailers. It's been a hell of a year. Yeah. A whole lot of bits and pieces. Well, I can report that Christmas has actually hit the end of the aisle situations in supermarkets. Okay. That's a big indicator. That's not just a couple of bits at checkout.

Well, my local supermarket had their Christmas Toblerones up. Oh. Oh, big ones. Yeah, that's the second report of Christmas Toblerones up. Oh. Oh, big ones. Yeah, we had it. That's the second report of Christmas Toblerones. Okay. The whiter packaging, eh? Yeah, and the darker ones as well. All of them.

Did you buy a Christmas Toblerone? Nah, but I did at the time. I was thinking, I reckon this Christmas, I reckon I could do a whole one. On Christmas Day. Yeah, on Christmas Day. Well, you're not going to be travelling. Usually you're abroad on the actual 25th of December, so you'll be able to drown your sorrows

by seeing how many triangular... How far down you can get it. Please don't. Imagine that's how I die. Like, I don't come back to work next year because I choked on a giant triangular chocolate bar. Because you were seeing how many you can get in. Wait, how many?

What do you call the little bits that you break off? Triangles. Triangles, yeah. People know, right? See, I think for safety, I drill a hole through the centre. A breathing hole. A breathing hole,

and then try that challenge. This is from the same great mind that said never stick anything up your butt without a safety string. Always drill a breathing hole. Always drill a breathing hole. Always have a spotter. And never put anything up your butt

if it doesn't have a safety string. This is all my advice for you, Vaughan. Don't push this back on me. No, I'm saying it's solid advice. Thank you. Like we scoff and stuff, but that's just... Who's doing that without the safety strings? My question.

That's a trip to ER and then you... The ED and then you've got an X-ray in the bloody Herald. What are they doing that for? Then they're laughing at you in the staff room. Yeah, exactly. Another spot is that $1, $2, $3 shops, whatever you call them. You know those shops that are just full of junk, they've gone hard on Christmas.

International reports that Dollarama stores in Toronto have started selling Christmas decorations. Yeah, right. And here in New Zealand, our very own $1, $2, $3, golden dollar, there's a $2 shop. The original $2 shop even exists anymore? I don't know I'm unsure

I haven't seen one for eons Went to a place the other day It was like $2 plus GST I was like No just It's not catchy There's nothing more shocking Than going to a $1, $2, $3 store

And they're like That's $12 Like What? You aren't buying multiple things No one thing How much? You need like a paint set

And you're like Oh $12 You didn't write that on the sign Do you know what? I think the actual $2 shop Doesn't exist anymore No, one thing. How more? You need like a paint set and you're like, oh, $12. You didn't write that on the sign. Do you know what? I think the actual $2 shop doesn't exist anymore. Really?

And so in 2018, the original $2 shop is having a half price closing down sale. How much does it cost? $1. In 2000, New Zealand's first ever $2 shop is Sandra. She was in New Plymouth. Did you know it started in New Plymouth? Yeah, I did know that it started under the radio station I worked at. Really? Yeah.

That was the original $2 shop. Yeah. And then it spread around. Spread its wings. Dizzying heights. I remember there was a TV show where they gave away a $2 shop franchise. People competed for it and they won a business. I don't know what ever happened to them.

Anyway, what were we talking about? Christmas. That's right. It's hit the $2 shops, the $1, $2, $3 shops as well as advent calendars are plenty but I mean this is a sign. M said Christmas penetration. Surely there's a few points in this.

I've received an email from Smith and Coie telling me to book my visit with Santa. They're the one that have a legit grotto and they have the legit window display, don't they? A big, bougie Christmas grotto and display. Book it for when? When's that going up? Oh, I actually didn't say it.

It just said book now. So maybe you're just registering interest. All right. With all that in mind. Don't forget to leave out the bear and cookies and nothing too hoppy this year. It gives Santa gas. Christmas penetration is out. 22%.

Oh, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. And if you see any reports of Christmas creeping in, you can send them to our inbox, FBMZM, Facebook, Instagram. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. New Zealand's fastest, ow, ow, I just whacked my hand. Ow, ow. New Zealand's fastest growing region has been revealed. So between 2013 and 2019.

What, so this is who's had the most, like, people in houses and stuff? New Zealand's fastest growing region has been revealed. So between 2013 and 2019. What? So this is who's had the most like people in houses and stuff. Is that what you mean? Population. Or the expanded waistlines. No, no, no. Population.

Oh, right. Okay. And it is by a plenty. They grew an average 2.7%. Okay. Over that time. Followed by Northland 2.4%, Waikato and Otago at 2.3% and Auckland 2%.

Now of the four north most regions so not Otago they accounted for 60% of New Zealand's population growth over those six years. So that's where people are moving to. Yeah. Okay. Tauranga and the Bay of Plenty has changed because when I was growing up that was just people are moving to? Yeah. Okay. Tauranga and the Bay of Plenty's changed

because when I was growing up, that was just where you went to retire and die. But now it's growing. Despite having still quite an aged population. Yeah, so you're saying more old people are going other places to die and retire. Or they're still going there to do it, but people are going there and making babies too.

Right, okay. Or just choosing to move there, I guess. So those four regions account for 54% of New Zealand's population. Wow. But Auckland's in there too. Who's the worst? Has anyone dropped off? There's only one place where the population decreased.

So it's a region? Yeah. West coast of the South Island? Yeah. It's been dropping for a while though. They were the only region to lose people, 700 people left. Because I think their traditional employers of the area

maybe aren't as employing anymore. Yeah. They're not as big at industries as they once were. They used to thrive, you know, in the good old days of coal. Oh, remember the good old coal days? Yeah, I remember those. The black lung, you know, the ailments that came with burning it.

Yeah. The big smoky trains. And it rains a lot. It's beautiful, but it rains a lot. Yeah. It rains a lot. It does. Those pancake rocks, man, what a trip.

They're great, yes. They're beautiful. Auckland had. But those pancake rocks, man, what a trip. They're great, yes. They're beautiful. Auckland had the biggest increase in population, though, not surprising, from 1.4 million to 1.68 million. Wow. And didn't we increase the space on the roads to accommodate all those people? Yeah, of course, public transport's reflected,

the growth of public transport's been reflected. The amount of water that we've got in storage, that's also reflected in that huge population growth. Yeah. And of course, everyone just absolutely chomping at the bit to pay more rates to keep up with growth. Oh, God, no. We want these things.

We don't want to pay for them. For free. Exactly. Somebody sounds like they need to run for council. No, I was defending the council there in the last part Yeah right okay Because Owen doesn't want to do it No shit no it's a horrible job

I would have done that guy from water care's job for $750,000 I know that sounded like a fun job Because I just would have gone to like Mitre 10 And bought a whole lot of garden hoses And turned them on and run it back into the dam To be like look at this thing And then if that hadn't worked You know what I would have done

I would have run a pump down to the sea and we'd pump some salt water in. Because I reckon. Yeah, but then we'd all be drinking water and it'd be salty. And it'd just be a little bit salty. Right. What is that? I'd say it's good for your teeth. And then news would get out that you're earning $750,000

and we're all drinking salty water. You'd have to resign. Yeah, but what's worse, salt water or no water? Shut your faces. That's what I'd say to you. And that's why you're not in. I mean, it's $750,000. Yeah, if you could last a year, it'd be worth it.

Yeah. And then be like, oh, well, hey, gave it a go. You wimps couldn't drink salty water. It was killing your gardens. I'm hearing nothing but complaints. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six.

Hello there. Auckland University graduation. I suppose I better have some more information for you. I just see the headlines. Run with the top six. Yeah, blah, blah, blah. So I believe there's about 5,000 students that were meant to graduate around now. And because of level two currently in Auckland, they can't.

Well, it's a 100-person cap on gatherings. So Auckland University's cancelled spring graduation. Reluctantly, they say. It'll be a virtual live stream ceremony. That's not the same. It's not, is it? You get to go up on stage and all your family's like, oh my God, we're so proud of you.

Take your photo. Versus, yeah. Just sitting at home being like, yay. And do you still hire them? Nana's like, I can't get the live stream at work. What am I doing? Where am I watching? Should I just come to your house to watch?

Golden Years Training Co. Side hustle to help her see your graduation. You'd think that they would just postpone it until we're in a level one. Nah, because you've got

to get on with shit, mate. You've got life to live. You've got jobs to get. What? It's not like people are moving over. You've got to get that bread. Yeah, right.

Okay. Am I right? Do you still wear a cap and gown in the virtual? You could if you wanted. Save money, don't bother. Make a rest of money.

Make your own, that's a great way. Yeah. That's a good one. Top six graduation moments you'll miss because of the in-person graduation being cancelled. Number six, throwing your hired cap and losing it and in turn losing your bond on that hired cap. Because when I picked mine up,

they were like, please don't throw it. Don't throw it in the air because you'll lose it or you'll break it. Because I imagine the edges that get dinged when they hit the floor.

Yeah, yeah. 100%. Okay. If it landed on the corner down, it would ding the corner. Yeah, right. So throw it on the grass. But then if it's muddy,

it'll just go like a ninja star. Like a ninja star into the mud. Number five on the list of the top six graduation moments you'll miss. Someone throwing the goats as they walk across

the stage. Is that what you call that? The rock and roller. They'll be like... And everyone will be like... It'll be an arts They were like, blah. And everyone would be like, hmm. It'll be an art student who barely scraped by, hardly went to class. Blah.

Rock and roll. Number four on the list of the top six graduation moments you'll miss. Seeing thousands of people you've never seen before, even though you've been attending the same educational facility for the last five years. Yeah. Where do they put all these people? What did you study? That's when you're walking and all the capes,

different colours mean different things. Yeah. Fletch, you won't know this. I just want to know the pink one. What colour was ours? Blue. Like royal blue. Blue.

Is pink law? Oh, I definitely want a pink one. Or engineering or... I think it... Does it differ? Arts is pink. Arts is pink. The colour of the lining of the hood is strictly controlled

and indicates the wearer's university and degree. PhDs are Pyrenee Red. Pyrenee Red. Arts are pink. Science is ultramarine. Education is brown. Sport coaching is red. Forestry is chestnut.

And social work is post office red. But we weren't even listed in there. I want chestnut. I want forestry. And royal blue is other. Yeah, maybe. Wow. Or maybe it differs from the university.

I think that was From one university Yeah they had that up Stink if you have to Wear the brown one Why? Because it's not as pretty As like

Oh right Pink and blue It teaches an age old Honourable profession Makes you drink At lunch time And I've got some more Never have children

Of your own Because your children Have been tarnished forever Social work And social community work. Sulfur. That's a yellow, yeah? I like a yellow, yeah.

Mouldy traditional arts is fawn. Laws is powder blue. Teaching is flame. What colour's flame? It's those bears. It's those bears that knock you on your arse. Yeah. Education studies, rustic brown.

Education is coral. Theology is kingfisher blue. Divinity, violet grey. Divinity? Are you reading the Hogwarts? No. This is on the Otago AC website. There's heaps of them.

I didn't even get to sciences comments, health sciences, humanities. There's so many. Guardsman red. Some of these sound more similar to others. There are so many. Guardsman Red. Some of these sound very similar to others. There are so many. It's ridiculous. Like Powder Blue and Aquamarine are very close. Is it Post Office Red or Guardian Red that you're wearing there?

Medicine's Lilac too. Oh. Oh. Thank you so much. I'm just going to go hire a lilac and pretend to be a doctor. Yeah, walk down the street and be like, look at me, look at me. Number three on the list of the top six graduation moments that you'll miss in person. Someone who's made alterations to their graduation gown to make it a little more them.

Yeah, slimming because they're very like boxy. Yeah, boxy's not for everybody. You can be slim but not so boxy. Yeah. Maybe just like slip it off the shoulder a little bit so you can see cute dress underneath. Slip it off the shoulder and then just pin it at the back. Oh my God, it slipped down. Yeah.

I'd cut the back out of mine so you could see my tattoo on the back. Oh yeah, that's good. You'd want everyone to know that you only live once. Don't judge me. Look at you judging me. No, I love dolphins. You're from Nelson. You've seen a lot of these tattoos.

I've done a lot of tattoos. Number two on the list of the top six graduation moments you'll miss are someone who has to shake hands with tutors or professors

that they've had full-blown run-ins with. They've screamed at them and there's been a screamy match and there's been like, get out of my class and now they have to like

shake hands. Are you just referring to your time at... Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I guess so. Kind of. And number one on the list of the top six moments,

graduation moments you'll miss in person if your University of Auckland graduation isn't happening is some terrible pronunciation of students' names who aren't as white as $1 loaf of bread. If you're a Sarah, you'll be fine. If you're John, yeah, no problem. Matthew, you'll be fine. If you're John, yeah, no problem. Matthew, you bet. Fa- Fa-

Fa- Fa- Fa- No. Congratulations. Good luck. Good luck out there. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast.

Joining us in studio is the winner of Glow Up NZ, Richard. Good morning. Hi, good morning. Megan wouldn't tell us this whole time. Oh my God, really? Yeah. Why would I want to ruin it for you? Because we're your best friends and we can keep a secret.

No, you're supposed to go through the journey. Yeah, she's a real holdout. The ups and downs. Richard was in the red chair. How many times? Three times. Three times in, three times out. Every time you're pretty confident. The ups and downs. Richard was in the red chair. How many times? Three times. Three times in, three times out. Every time you were pretty confident. I mean, yeah.

It wasn't difficult to get out, I guess. Did you think when you went into it, because you always struck me as the most confident, did you think that you were going to win? You can be honest. No, because I didn't know who I was going to go up against.

And then kind of when I saw everyone on that first day, I was like, ooh, there's a real chance of me not taking this. Really? Yeah. Okay. And how has life been like since you've become quite recognisable and you work in the makeup industry? Um, not a lot has changed, if I'm being honest. Like, New Zealand's pretty small. So, like, the occasional person will come into like work and like recognise me and stuff

but it's mainly just like Instagram has like kind of blown up a bit more which is cool, yeah. Where, if you don't mind me asking, where do you work? I don't know if I want to talk about that. Because that's what I say, it would be, you'd be, you'd get busy. Yeah. Because people would Well I work like in retail

at Mac, so. Right, right. In the makeup industry. Yes. In the makeup industry. They'll find you. Yes, in the makeup industry. They'll find you. I mean, I'm not hard to find. It's on my Instagram. So what was the overall experience like?

Pretty positive. The host is a bitch though, eh? Yeah, I don't know about her. Yeah. Real hard. Read. Yeah. She's a bit weird.

Yeah. It's nice shoes though. Thank you. All I heard was nice shoes. You can a bit weird. Yeah. Nice shoes though. Thank you. All I heard was nice shoes. You can call me weird. No, yeah, the overall experience was pretty nice. Yeah, it was cool. Like being around lots of like very supportive people was nice.

But a lot of drama. There was a lot of emotion. Yeah, there was a lot of emotion, which was tough. Thankfully, I kind of managed to sort of go around the fringes of it a little bit. But watching everyone else go through that was, I mean, yeah, at times it was pretty tough. What's it like watching back? Because I know you, but watching back, I was like, they come across very cocky. Which is not

my personal experience with you yeah i mean i i'm cocky when it's appropriate to be i think and i think they just put a lot of that in because it kind of like is a bit better for tv for me to be like oh yes i'm the shit yeah um but were you do you think that's a fair representation of how you are yeah i, I'm cocky in kind of like a sarcastic, funny way, rather than a, I genuinely think I'm better than everyone else, because that's absolutely not the case. Right. Yeah.

So where to from here? So you've won Glot New Zealand, first season? Yeah, season one. What's, where are you going from here? I don't know. I haven't really made any sort of grandiose plans. Started a small business. You did?

I did. Because I was going to say, if people wanted to get you to do their makeup, they can just slide into the DMs? Oh, totally, yeah. Just slide right in. Okay. Yeah.

Otherwise, just come to work, I guess. Yeah, I mean, your international plans might be somewhat limited at the moment. Yeah. Extremely, yeah. Oh, well, congratulations. Oh, thanks. Richard, and all the best for the future.

Oh, thank you. And if you haven't seen the show, you can still binge it. It's all on TVNZ On Demand, GlypeNZ. And we kind of ruined the ending for you. I was going to say, maybe the ending will be different. Yeah. Maybe it changes every time you watch it. You do a pick a path ending.

Yeah. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Just talking to a mate in the WhatsApp group. He manages a workplace. Again, it's the same mate. I don't really know what he does. It's a mystery. But anyway, just hired since he's been at this branch.

Yeah. Perhaps the first female that's ever worked there. He runs a branch of something. Yeah. Okay. A distribution branch. That sounds like majority males. Yeah. Well, all males. Yeah. Okay. Distribution branch. That sounds like majority males. Yeah, well all males. Right.

Since he's been there and he's like, I don't know. Right, and now he's like, I'm going to balance it up. Well there's been lots of cutbacks. Right. And now, well no there's actually not too many, but so now the first females joined the team. Yeah. And he's like, what's the deal with getting a sanitary

bin? I don't know. For the bathrooms. He's like, because's the deal with getting a sanitary bin? I don't know. For the bathrooms. He's like, because there isn't one and there never has been one. Because sometimes as men we'll see those in like the unisex toilets. Yeah. And they have that little sensor. And you wave your hand over it.

And you're like, okay. I shouldn't have done that. But cool, it's a sensor. Yeah. So he I shouldn't have done that. But cool, it's a sensor. Yeah. So he's got to look into that. I never even thought about that. No.

Yeah. Do you have one at the cafe? No. I've never even thought about it either. Yeah. As an employee, do you have to have one for your employees? It's a very good question. This is another, it's £120 a week.

For one of those wavy censor bins. Well, no, no, that's not even for the top of the line wavy censor bin. This is just for the service of having someone come in and Yeah, because they come in and take it away and then put the new one in, don't they? Pay for the bin and then pay for the service too. Yeah.

So it's $'s 240 New Zealand dollars a week for one. Three weeks of the month not serving any purpose. Because it's only one employee there. So a thousand dollars

Yeah. Which is just interesting and he's not like I'm not getting one but he's like what's like how do I go about it? It's just we're just

chatting about it. Like do the toilets here does each one have one of those in it? Yeah. Every toilet has one. Wow. And then you wave your arms too much and it's like,

oh, no, I don't need you today. What do you mean you're gesticulating in the toilet? I don't know. Or just shaking it off. Hurry up. Some of them are right beside the toilet. You're like, excuse me. I like the ones that look like a little R2 unit.

Like, you know, the old ones that had a round top. Like a Star Wars. Yeah. What was the deal with those? Those are different. You pulled the handle at the top. Yeah, there's not many of those anymore because it's not very hygienic.

You don't want to touch them. You want the ones. We're actually, I had a run in with one of these at the weekend. Okay. We went for a family yumcha for Shardo's dad's birthday. Yeah. And I said, I gathered all the children.

I said, come on, let's go wash our hands. And we went into the big disabled toilets. Yeah. Because that's the easiest when you've got like four kids and you're trying to get everyone to wash their hands. Yeah. And George, my nephew, who's like three, he like washed his hands

and then wiped them with a paper towel. And then was like, where do I put this? And there was one of those bins. Right. And he went over and he was like, I'll put it in here. I was like, oh, don't put that in there because I don't know if that can take. Probably, right.

Well, it could, but you shouldn't because then you'd be filling it up with rubbish. Yeah, and there's not going to be any room for what's needed to go in there. Yeah. And I said, oh, chuck in that one over there. He's like, what goes in that bin? A little three-year-old.

He's like, I can't confirm what goes in that bin. And I was like, oh, oh well we're just about to eat chicken feet and stuff and I don't know if I'm in the mood to talk about like you know I've got a

I've got a steamed pork bone waiting at the table for my mom yeah yeah dumplings I don't know if I'm in the mood to explain to a three year old what happens here

he's like oh don't worry about it mate chuck it in that bin there and then he chucked it in the bin he's like but what goes in that bin? Yeah, you've perked his interest now.

Yeah, because I was all nonchalant about it. I should have just lied and said like, the food you don't want to eat. But that would have been bad because he would have been back in there later on with some rice, like putting rice in there. And then he put it in the bin and as we were walking out, he turned and looked at me and he was like, what does go in that bin, Uncle Vaughn? I was like, hey, come on, mate, back to the table. You're three. You're not my kid. God, he's persistent.

And then we get back to the table and he puts his hands on his hips. He's like, Uncle Vaughn won't tell me what goes in that bin. And everyone's like, what? Oh, your parents are here now. I'll tell you later. And then they forgot because of the steamed pork buns. Yeah, right. Great way to wipe the memory of any child

is put a plate of steamed pork buns in front of them. I bet next time he comes around, he'll be like, what goes in the bin, Uncle Bourne? Man to man. Yeah. What goes in that bin? Well, you've got some time to think up an excuse anyway for a three-year-old. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Motorway Mates. Yes, it's your chance to win cash and as of yet, this is our third day

and we haven't been able to get the mind control quite right. We've come very close to giving away cash though. Yeah. We've got to guess the car. So close isn't perfect, is it? No, it's not. We've got to guess the colour of the car in front of you, behind, and your car for you to win the cash.

And yesterday we were so close. I think we went white and it was grey. Do you know, I went to close the blinds of my apartment yesterday and I just looked down at the traffic and I was like, a lot of white cars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was in the gym as well on the cross trainer and I was just looking out at the road.

I was like, white cars. There's a lot of grey cars. We don't say blue enough. I also don't think we say blue enough. You're not the only one captivated by it. My mother messaged yesterday saying that she drops her 14-year-old off at school and he usually says that our segments are lame and this is boring. He had full buy-in on trying to guess what colour car was in front, behind and being tripping.

It's the simple things. It's the simple things. First up today for Motorway Mates is Jess. Good morning, Jess. Morning. Now whereabouts are you stuck in traffic? On the northern, trying to get across the bridge. Oh, yeah.

How long did it take you yesterday? I didn't go into uni yesterday, but it took me two hours on Tuesday. And it's still crazy this morning, even though they've opened up another lane or two. Is that right? Oh, it's better. It's definitely better. Okay, well, all right, Jess. Now, you've got a car in front of you and behind. Yes, yeah. Alright, let's

start with the car in front of you. What kind of car is it? It's one of those Daihatsu is it called Sirian? Oh, okay, a Daihatsu. Is that like a little, is that like a Daihatsu four-wheel drive? Yeah, it's like a little one isn't it? Yeah, I'm, I want to say. Oh no, it like a little, is that like a Daihatsu four-wheel drive? Yeah, it's like a little one, isn't it? Yeah, I'm, I want to say. Oh, no, it's a little, it's a little. It's a little. I'm thinking.

It's like that one I hired that time in Queenstown. That's right, because it was super cheap and it couldn't get you up the ski field. Great fun, though. All right, I'm going to say white. What are you thinking, Megan? Don't they come in like a light blue? Isn't that a popular? They do come in a very light blue.

Should I just say blue? I reckon go blue. Okay. You go white. Yeah. I'll go silver. I think we've got our Daihatsu Sirion. Got our bases covered.

Okay. Is it one of those colours, Jess? Yes. What colour was it? What colour was it? It's blue. Yes! Is it like a light baby blue?

It's actually a dark blue. I haven't seen one before, so I didn't think you would get it. Yes! Yes! All right. Okay, all right. Now, the car behind you in the rear view, what is that? What's that?

What kind of car is it? It's a Mazda CX-3, I think, by looking at it. Black. I'm going to go black. We've never had a truck before. I'm excited for when we get a truck. It's just what the cab colour is. Yeah, we have to guess the cab colour. All right, so...

The CX-3s, they come in blue and red. It's quite popular. You know, the maroon-y colour. Red. I'm going black. Oh, yeah, a maroon. The Mazda loves a maroon. Don't they?

I prefer maroon, actually. I'm going to go maroon. Why are you saying maroon? You said maroon five. It's maroon. I said maroon. No, you said maroon. It's maroon five.

Is it not? Maroon five. Maroon five. It's Adam Levine and maroon five. I'm going blue because men still love a blue. I'm going black. Oh, do you reckon? One of us has to go white.

I'll go white. Someone's got to go maroon. Aren't you going maroon? I thought you said maroon. I'm going blue. God damn it. Make up your mind. Okay, I'm going to go maroon.

And what are you going to go? Because I don't think there'd be a blue in front and a blue behind. Statistically, blue is not that popular. You're going to go white. I'm going to go black Because I don't think there'd be a blue in front and a blue behind. Statistically, blue is not that popular. You're going to go white. I'm going to go black. Silver. Silver. Go silver.

You guys are making me nervous. Okay. Now I'm looking in black. Okay. And I'm going maroon. Maroon. Maroon. Megan.

I'll go white. Jess. You're right. It's go white. Jess. You're right. It's maroon. No! Yes. Okay. I told you Mazda love a bloody maroon.

You do. Stop saying maroon. All right. Now, Jess, you win $100 cash if we can guess the colour of your car. Now, we have to

reach consensus. We're only allowed one colour. What kind of car are you driving? Is this your car? Yes, it is my car. Okay.

I drive a Toyota Oris. A Toyota Oris? I'm going to have to Google that. Yaris. No, Oris. It's like a, it going to have to Google that. Yaris. No, Oris. It's like a, it's just a different name for a Corolla. I think it's the imported name.

Oh, yeah, you're right. Okay. It's a compact car derived from the Corolla, manufactured and sold by Toyota. What is that? Yaris? What is it called? Oris. I mean, look, I've just Googled this.

There's a lot of white. There's a lot of white coming back in my Google. And it is a popular colour. And we haven't had a white yet, right? Wait. The car in front. No, it's blue. It's got to be white.

It's got to be white. But then they import these cars and they always import the yuck colours. And you end up with a yuck colour one because it's cheap. But we haven't had any silvers. So it's popular. We haven't had a white. White's got to be, right? You said,

how many whites did you say on the road last night? I saw so many. Toyota. I had a white Toyota. It wasn't an Ore-Ore-Ore-us or whatever it is. Areolas or whatever you're driving.

Yes, a Toyota Areola. Areolas. Wait. Wait a minute. We haven't got her on board. Now. I think we should go white. I think we should.

I reckon we go white. Jess. We had a blue in front. We had a blue in front. I think we would have got more of a reaction on the blue. We need to go grey or white. For the $100. I reckon we go white.

Do you look at the Google search? I reckon we go white. Yeah, I'm seeing a lot of whites. A lot of silvers. Silver. No, I'm seeing a lot of whites. A lot of silvers. Silver. No, I'm blue. Okay. Jess, are we locking in white?

No. Silver. Silver. I don't know. Silver, silver, silver. Let's go blue. If we go blue, we'll never hear the end of it if Megan's right. So you would rather be wrong just to have something to hang over it.

I'm on board with that. I'm on board with that. Okay, Jess. Jess. The Toyota car that you're driving at the moment. Yes. Don't be white. Is it blue?

Yes. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding. Yes. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding? Yay! I knew it was gonna be blue. Yes! Sorry you did it. Yay!

I can't believe there wasn't a white in the mix. I also can't believe you kept quiet for that entire thing, Jess. You did what? And you gave away your poker faces. I didn't want to give anything away and then lose the money. She got it right. I've never felt so vindicated in my life.

Oh, God, now we're still not going to hear the end of it, are we? Yes. Unbelievable. Hey, Jess, congratulations. Our very first winner for Motorway Mates, $100. Awesome. Thank you so much, guys. Lucky I changed from blue to maroon too, though, as well.

So it's probably more me. Maroon. Maroon. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. Okay, look, we're here. We're collecting songs because we're quite into what we're about to tell you.

Yes. So someone's done a collation of wedding songs, so first dance songs that mean your marriage is doomed and on the other side of things that you're probably going to be happy forever. By the way, that was a two-minute 15 song. Why are you surprised? There is no time for us to go wheeze or do anything behind the scenes anymore. We need to start talking.

What's that song called? Mood. We need to start talking to these's that song called? Moo. Start talking to these people about this. Mood. I need to go to Specsavers again. I've got them lasered in 2007. I reckon it's wearing off. Does it wear off? You need a booster. That looks like it says moo. You can clearly see the D. I can't see the D. I can see the D. Yeah, but you can spot a D a mile off me. I can see that on the screen three metres away. You've seen a see the D. I can see the D. Yeah, but you can spot a D a mile off me.

I can see that on the screen three metres away. You've seen a lot of D. I can see O, O, O there. Right. That's small font. I shouldn't be required to read that from here. So we have a list. And this was done from Australians.

Quite a large sample size of Australians. So they compared the people that had been divorced and what their first song was at their wedding. Yes. But then they also must have talked to people that were still married happily, right? Yep. Okay. Both sides of the spectrum. Should we start with positive? Okay. I don't know why we want to end with negative, but the

most fulfilled marriage song so people who are the most happy still together is Can You Feel The Love Tonight? Elton John. This is your first dance. And of course, if you might have just heard the news, if you've still got an Elton ticket, he's rescheduled for 2023. Great.

Okay. So 77% of people are still happy, still married, still chugging along. Okay. The next second best song to have for your first dance if you want to stay together forever is Stevie Wonder, Isn't She Lovely. This just reminds me of an all-you-can-eat buffet at the Glenview Tavern and someone up on the little stage there with the keyboard playing songs. This is such a like...

Honourable mentions. Frank Sinatra, The Way You Look Tonight. Okay. Right up there too is Billie Holiday, All Of Me. These are all like timeless songs. Yeah, timeless ones. Etta James at last. At last.

Aerosmith, I Don't Want To Miss A Thing. Oh, what a classic. It's right up there for songs. Armageddon, what a movie. Yeah, timeless. Etta James at last. Aerosmith's I Don't Want To Miss The Thing. Oh, what a classic. Armageddon, what a movie. First dance songs that will mean you stay together forever. On the flip side, the most divorceable song for your first dance. So if you're

listening and this is about to be a song, the writing's on the wall. 75% of people are unhappy that had this song. It's One Direction, Little Things. But it's such a beautiful song. It is beautiful. I was going to say, it's probably because you're 12 and you shouldn't be getting married.

Like, the 1D fanatics are like mid-20s now. But But no but maybe There is a correlation Between They were married younger So like the song Yeah

So this is the most Divorceable song Ever heard the song before What No you have It wasn't already a single Yes it was Yes it was

Wait till you get to the little We definitely played it You just churn out When It's coming It's coming You'll hear You'll recognise the chorus.

It's you. I think you just skipped it. Oh my God. Did I skip it? Never heard it. It's you. Oh, I've already been thinking this band's called 1-0 the whole time because I can't tell the difference between an O and a D.

You can't see the D. Oh, 1-0, 10. You're doing about 10, are you? God, you need to get the space. I'm drawing an absolute blank on the song. What's wrong with you? I'm drawing a total blank on the song. No.

Oh, my God. You would have played it hundreds of times. No way. Jason Mraz. Now this is a banger. Now this also gets a bad rap. Someone get dad his fedora. 61% of couples are unhappy that had this as their first dance.

It's a fedora. Who's having this? I'm yours because it's like I'm yours. Yeah, I know. It's a great song. Get yours. Well, because it's like, I'm yours. Yeah, I know, but the... It's a great song. Get back. Heard this one. Because Jason Mraz doesn't have a bloody D in his name.

Honourable mentions, Birdie, Skinny Love. What, for a bad sign? 54% of people unhappy in that relationship. Wow. Snow Patrol, Chasing Cars. That's a terrible song, isn't it? Oh yeah, my friend had that. She's divorced.

Yeah. Are you joking? Not a first dance, walk-in song. It's not a very nice song, is it? If I just lay, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world? No, it's nice. It just reminds you of

Oh, I thought it was about dying. Yeah, I thought it was dying. Yeah, Grey's Anatomy because Denny. Oh, spoiler alert. Spoiler alert for season one or two. And then he becomes Negan on The Walking Dead. Okay, here's a couple of oldies. 49% everything Michael Bublé.

48% Elvis Presley can't help falling in love. Oh, I thought that was a timeless. Yeah. What was your first dance song? Vaughn. Vaughn, you can't remember. It was your first dance song? Vaughan. Vaughan, you can't remember. It was a Johnny Cash song. I fell into a burning river.

I don't know. Vaughan? Are you joking? I can't remember either. Was it Jason Mraz? I wish it had been. We've had a lot of feedback about the study, the research that's been done into the first wedding songs.

The hand dance, yeah. And how people have ended up either happy or divorced, or in between. Or that said, I am currently unhappy, divorces on the horizon. Oh my God. Yeah. And you couldn't even remember your first wedding song.

You've had to have your memory jogged. We've actually found a video from your wedding day. Stacey's Mum. That's the one. Do you remember that? That's what it was. That's what it was. But quite easy to dance to.

Yeah. It's a good time. I can't believe that's 10 years ago in November. I know. Megan, though, your first, this is serious, for reals. This was your first dance for your first marriage. Ended in divorce. Muse, Starla, and is it Black Holes and Revelations? That's from the album.

This was a single. This is massive. You guys did love Muse. I still do. But what do the lyrics say of the song? Is it a love song? Yeah. Can I hold you in my arms?

Wow. Mind you, being involved in the music at your wedding pre-ceremony, I mean, the writing should have been on the wall. The final countdown. There was a whole lot of songs. Highway to Hell. Highway to Hell.

Yeah. So it has got us thinking. 0800 Dials at M. Is there anybody listening now who maybe is divorced? Or maybe you're happy. Yeah. There's a list of songs too.

I didn't read them all out. So your song might be on the list. Well, yeah. What was your first dance wedding song? And are you together or not now? Or maybe you just look back and you're like, God, that was such an embarrassing song to have as our first wedding song. We mentioned Jason Mraz, I'm Yours.

Yes. Someone messaged in saying they had that at the end of the wedding ceremony. Does that count? Because they're divorced. Oh, okay. Yes, it does. Any Jason Mraz involved at any level. So we want to know what your first wedding song is

and if you're together or not still to this day. Some research has been done. On the wedding song that means your marriage is doomed. Apparently. Hmm. Andrew, good morning. Morning, guys. How are we?

Good, good. Now, what was your first wedding song? And then we'll guess if you're together. It was Ellie Goulding's How Long Will I Love You. Oh. Didn't she play this at Will and Kate's wedding, didn't she? Didn't she play this at the royal after function? She played there.

Surely it was this one. Were you before the royal wedding, Andrew? I married my princess. It was a royal wedding. You gave it away, Andrew. Andrew, you're still married, eh? I'm sorry, I'm just vomiting it in this bucket. I'm mega punching.

I'd be an idiot not to still be married. Brilliant. She's listening to the show. She is. Love it. Thank you. Renee, good morning. Good morning. What was your wedding song? It was Marry You by Bruno Mars. Oh, yep. This would be a classic.

There was a lot of walking down the aisle to this room where people were doing dances and stuff. That was a big trend. I reckon you're divorced. Oh, fuck it. What? Are you still together? Totally still together. I think you're divorced.

What? How dare you, sir? I mean, it is quite a recent song, isn't it? Well, we've been married eight and a half years. Is this song eight and a half years old? Yep. Wow. Yeah, it is. Because, yeah, friends of ours had it at their wedding and they've been married eight and a half years. Is this song eight and a half years old? Yep. Wow. Yeah, it is.

Because, yeah, friends of ours had it at their wedding and they've been married at least that long. You're cutting. I'm not cutting. Okay, hey, Renee, thank you. Kate, good morning. Hi, good morning. Now, what was your song, first wedding song?

Jack Johnson, Better Together. Okay, so your song's actually on this list. As one? Is it? Jack Johnson, Better Together. Okay, so your song's actually on this list. As one. Is it? It's under 64% of couples are happy. Oh, good. Oh, good, you've given it away.

You're still together, aren't you? Oh, yeah, yeah, we are. You chose a good one. Chose a good one. Definitely all down to the song. When are we getting someone that's divorced? No one's going to ring up and admit it, are they? Hey, I'll sing. Guys, I'll sing you a Jack Johnson song.

Turn that down. Yeah. Hold on, I've got a guitar here. I've got a guitar. This is all you need for a Jack Johnson song. You only need the two top strings of any guitar. That was her wedding song. Stop laughing, you're encouraging him.

Vanessa, good morning. Good morning. Okay, what was your first wedding song? My first wedding song, my only wedding song, mate, is Michael Jackson's Pretty Young Thing. Pretty Young, you gave it away. You're still together. Looking back on what we know now,

how do we feel about that choice? I love that choice. That was great. Even with the Michael, yeah, right. You're still together, Vanessa. Yeah, still together. Fantastic. Okay, all right.

Thanks for your call. Let's go to Matt. Matt, what was your first wedding song? Otis reading These Arms Are Mine. Oh, a classic. Google this. These arms are not found. These arms are not found.

These arms are, is that what the song's called? You are married to someone with no arms But don't worry, he's armless Okay, yeah right, he's armless Now we've only got two Otis Redding songs in the system Donk of the Bane Yeah, that's the only one I know So are you still together, Matt?

No No Okay No, no Those arms, those arms Whose arms are whose now then? No arms. They're gone. Somebody just messaged in saying,

my boyfriend's just told me he wants Cotton Eye Joe to be our first dance. I can tell you that's probably not going to end well. Good that you've learned that now though. Yeah. Better Together was mine too, but obviously Yeah. Better Together was mine, too, but obviously not so Better Together. We're no longer apart. We're no longer together.

Yeah, right. We had Ronan Kidding's The Way You Make Me Feel. I would have gone Rollercoaster. Rollercoaster. Totally positive. Realistic. That was an Omega. It is.

Life is full of ups and downs and corkscrews and vomit. Would you like to take us out with some Jack Johnson? That would be lovely. We're going to come back next and we're going to announce the winner of Fishy Tank, our side hustle competition. But this is Jack Johnson and Better Together. Boop. Boop.

Ba-ba-da-ba-ba-da-boop. Ba-dee-ba-dum-ba-da-ba. Surfing Chandles bare feet on the beach. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Dive into Flesh, Vaughan and Megan's fishy tag. Well, it's time to announce our winner. And we started this just because the side hustle is on the rise

in these horrible COVID times. Maybe a lot of people had their hours cut back. There was straight stats, yo. Yeah. 20% of people were picking up a passion project and trying to make

some cash off it. Yeah, so we wanted you to register your side hustle and we got over 400 entries. That's some rad businesses too. Yeah. Really cool.

We couldn't get, yeah, we honestly couldn't get to all of them. You know, I listen to a lot of podcasts and I'm always hearing like, if you need a website, Squarespace We couldn't get, yeah, we honestly couldn't get to all of them. You know, I listen to a lot of podcasts and I'm always hearing like, if you need a website, Squarespace,

blah, blah, blah, Squarespace. And I'm like, God, you hear about it. But like, when looking into some of these businesses,

people had made some amazing looking websites using Squarespace. This is in no way paid advertisement for Squarespace. It was more that people can make their businesses look schmick

just really quickly and easily. Yeah, yeah, right. And some of them are so good. I'm very Just really quickly and easily. Yeah, yeah. Right. And some of them are so good. I'm very impressed. Some amazing ideas. We're already thinking we need to do a season two

with even more. We've got to go bigger. No! We'll just say these things. Might not happen. I love saying things that might not happen. But up for grabs here, $500 cash and a Fletcher and Borden radio jingle.

Now, Megan, you've had a radio jingle for your business, and wow. From the Fletcher and Borden production house. For a testimonial. Yeah. An inner city billboard as well with the main prize. Digital billboard. Yeah, one of those ones that changes. And you're like, oh, and then it'll just Wait hold on a minute

It'll come back up again In a second But no wrinkles Because they didn't Hang it up properly Now should we go Third Second

First Yeah Oh Nah because then When we say two You'll know who's won Third I would've

Does it matter Who comes second And third I would've thought We'd just talk to Like just announce The winner Oh yeah right

Okay Because the others Look great I don't think They need to be ranked Do have thought we would just announce the winner. Oh, yeah, right, okay. Because the others were great. I don't think they need to be ranked per se. Do you want a drum roll? For the winner? For the winner? No, that's a bit rubbish.

I mean, that's a traditional drum roll. That's what comes to mind when you... No, I wanted more like... Or just... I don't know. I wanted more fanfare. Like a deep end like that, but see, that's too short. Bum, bum, bum, bum.

That's what I needed on the end. I've got another one here. So hard to please. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. No, that's too tinny. You don't like the snare. Very, very picky. This, I think, will be the ultimate drum roll.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This sounds like... Bum, like... Yes! Yes! Yes!

The winner! So like 2001 Space Odyssey, and then we got a little Planet of the Apes, and then there was just a big explosion. You've ruined the drum roll. The winner of Side Hustle, Season 1 1 Golden Years Training Co and we're joined on the

phone by Melissa. Hello! Good morning. Thank you so much. Now your side hustle for those that missed it is you help old people with all the patients in the world fix their computer problems and their IT problems. Yeah, that's exactly what we do.

You teach them how to get the Wi-Fi. Do you give them a special password notebook? In some cases, yes. You should do like special embroidered like Golden Years Training password. Oh, leather bounds a bit flash. But they're like those teenage diaries and they have a key on them. So robbers can't see their passwords. And then they wear the key around their neck.

Yes. I tend to tell them just to keep them somewhere accessible but safe. Okay, nice. Okay, because they love a password notebook. Now, how have you found business lately with your side hustle? Has it become a bit of, because this is your side hustle. So you at Somerset, did you want it to be your full-time job? That would be amazing. I would love to make it my full-time job. I'm currently writing

a business plan so I can try and make it my full-time job. So that will be fun. Okay. And have you had much business since the radio ad and the mentions? Yeah, I think looking at the stats yesterday, I think we've had about six times as much as we normally would have. Fantastic. You call that an 8,000% increase in business. Do you really? Why is it not a six thousand percent increase?

I don't know, man. Imperial versus metric? I don't know. Sure. Alright, hey, well, congratulations, Melissa. Next, we're going to write you a radio jingle for Golden Years Training. We've got a billboard up for you. $500

cash. Anything else, Vaughan? We could probably write your name on this pen. Good vibes. Yeah, a couple of pens. Yeah, a couple of pens. I reckon, yeah. It's only up from here.

Have you got any idea on what you might spend your $500 on? I think I'm going to put it towards some print advertising. Oh, well, this is... Print advertising. Companies, because that's where the old people see their ads. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say, I mean, you're talking to radio, but... Yeah, no, no, radio, we like to help out print where we can.

Well, we've got the Herald upstairs. We can just pop up... They'll run an ad for us. They're our upstairs friends. They'll run an ad for us. We say, oh, read more at the Herald. That's what we say all the time. We say that, yeah. I've said it eight to ten times this morning.

Read more at nzherald.co.nz for their exclusive. Turns out Vaughan's your company sales rep now. Yeah, oh, I've done it. It'll happen. I'll talk to Bogsy. If they say no, I'll just go above them. To the CEO. That's the sort of cocky white arrogance that I have.

Why aren't you listening to me? I'm a white male. Thanks, Melissa. Congratulations again, winner of Fishy Tank. Thank you so much. Great product. So last night at home,

Indy had to do some, she'd written a story and she had to type it on her Chromebook. That's part of your homework now. You write it with your hand and then you put it into the computer. Wow. Yeah, I know. Could you imagine if you had a Chromebook? Like your handwriting is the worst

handwriting of a grown adult I know of. Only when I'm in a hurry. I've actually got very lovely printing. You don't. I'm taking my time. No, you don't. No, you don't. But could you imagine if your whole life Was mostly typing In Chromebook Like

Oh my handwriting Would be shocking Would you even know How to write By the time you're like Your age Yeah I don't know Probably

Yeah I mean you could But it would be weird Right I'm kind of amazed At how tidy Both of my daughters Handwriting is Because

They don't write As much As they would be Like typing Compared to when we were learning to write. But anyway, so she was doing that. I was doing some work and August was like, I've actually got a lot to do too. I'm very busy. Because the other option was to have a shower and go to bed.

She's like, I can't. I've got a lot to do. I've got a lot on. I was like, all right, what have you got on? She's like, I've got to make cards for my friends because it's school holiday soon and I'm going to miss them. So I've got to make cards. And how old is she?

Six. Six. Yeah. I was like, oh, okay, that's cool. And how many pieces of paper did you need? Five, five friends. Is she running five top friends? I know.

Yeah, five top friends. She's going to lose a few of those, at least by the end of primary or high school. Well, yeah, you drift apart, don't you? Please just give it to her for now. You drift apart? You drift apart, Megan. This is what happens. Each card was individualised, which I was quite impressed with,

and she drew something that the person liked. Okay. I believe Arabella got a horse. Okay. What did some of that, there was a submarine on all of us I think. You must have shown some sort of interest in submarines. He's bloody dreaming. When's he going to get to go on a submarine? God, kids

sometimes. Be realistic. You're not going to be an astronaut. Oh my god. Okay, well that's I mean, to be honest, they've actually got a really high chance of being an astronaut compared to us given how space technology is advancing. Right, my God. Okay, well, that's, I mean, to be honest, they've actually got a really high chance of being an astronaut compared to us given how space technology is advancing. Right. Fair point, fair point.

Like they could just be aiming to be a pilot, but then they end up technically being an astronaut because they're flying into the outer atmosphere. And that's where you change from just being a pilot to being an astronaut. Yeah, true. So everybody was getting interviewed, and then there was a picture of the person in the card. And that's when it got me thinking.

I was like, how do you know all of your friends' eye colours? Because she'd done, like, a face, and then she'd done the pupil in, like, a colour. She's just guessing. And she said, oh, no, they've got brown eyes, and they've got blue eyes, and they've got a bit of a greeny-brown eye like yours. I was like, I would not.

That's what I thought. I couldn't even, like, for certain. I couldn't even, like for certain, I couldn't tell you people's eye colours. What about Sade's eye colours? Your wife. Oh, one? Brown.

That's two in one morning. Brown or ish. I think they're quite similar to mine. You have like hazel. Hazel-y brown eyes. But until I just looked at you then, I couldn't recall. I would have said I had brown eyes. Yeah. You eyes yeah i always recall friends sure but you can recall your partners

yeah brown bernie brown can you remember my eyes you just looked right at me you said like brown but if you'd nah i wouldn't thought you'd nah because if you had blue eyes you'd make a way bigger deal about it oh my god can you imagine if he had blue eyes? He wouldn't shut up about it. I know. I would be mega cute. It would be like, yeah, it'd be like, it'd be like,

oh, I'm pretty cute with my blue eyes. We'd be on the end of every time Fletch says I'm pretty cute with my blue eyes, we'd be on the end. But I couldn't just, it just got me thinking, I really don't know many people's,

my mum's got blue eyes and I only know that because my mum has and Sade's mum has and that's how Indy's got blue eyes because of that. Remember in science, you were's mum has and that's how Indy's got blue eyes because of that remember in science you were like

rigid biggie boogey boo I don't know big R little R and then that's how she got blue eyes but it's not an important thing to remember about your friends

so I don't think anyone would recall what colour eyes I can't remember what my best friend's is what are Andrew's eyes Ali's Ali's would be blue eyes Hazel Hazel with

they're quite goldy in the middle. What about your husband's eyes, Mr. Toyboy? That's what I just said. Whose else's eyes was she describing with that amount of romance in it? It's green, but when you get to the middle, it's a light, more of a light gold. I thought she was talking about your eyes. I was like, it's green. Oh my god, if she did that, I'd call her

a creep. But at the same time, thank you, Fletch, for thinking she was describing my eyes. You're welcome. I do get a little bit lighter in the middle. But yeah, I don't know. I couldn't tell you. Megan's is greeny.

Greeny brown like mine? Nah, so you shut your eyes now and I can't think of what color they are. Doesn't matter. Green. Just straight up green. Oh, okay. I wouldn't tell that as green. Are you kidding me? Nah. I straight up green. Oh, okay. I wouldn't tell that as green. Are you kidding me?

Nah. I'd tell it as a light brown. No, we've already discussed the fact that you need to get LASIK on your blood. You can't see from where you are. I can't tell the difference between a capital O and a capital D. I can tell the difference between green and brown. They are absolutely not brown. Don't start this shit.

Wow, insulting. Hope your baby gets Andrew's eyes, not your poo brown eyes. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. And your chance to win cash. All thanks to Save My Bacon with our 50K fact of the day.

Now, the grand finale of the 50K fact of the day will be the pop quiz happening tomorrow with Bree and Clint in the afternoon. So if you'd like to register, jump online, ZM online, register, and all thanks to Save My Bacon helping you borrow money online and growing your credit score at the same time. You could win $2,000 cash.

Now, $500 up for grabs at midday and four o'clock. Again, today, as we've been doing with Save My Bacon, we've just got to answer a question correctly if you get through on this fact of the day. Today's fact of the day is the New York Ballet has an annual shoe budget of $1.2 million New Zealand dollars. A year? A year.

How many shoes are they going through? The New York... Yes, great question. Good question. They go through 9,000 to 11,000 pairs of shoes each year, including flat shoes, sneakers, jazz shoes, and character shoes. Okay. And their budget sits at 1.2 million New Zealand dollars a year.

They look so cheap, those ballet shoes. No, they're so spinny, Zay. So nearly all of them wear Freeds. Okay. And they're most, they're those, yeah, like your typical ballet shoe. Yep. And they, the people who craft them, there's a special sign like that ensures it's not a rip off. Okay.

And they actually get them straight from the artisan shoemaker themselves. Now, one of those shoemakers got sick. And that meant that five of the dancers in the company had no shoes because they were just cranking out these shoes constantly. The five of them took a get well photo and sent it to the maker and they're just like

the dancers love them. But to me that feels like a bit of a mafia. That's a real pass ag. Get well. Hurry up and make our shoes. These shoes are kept in plastic bags. Yeah. Why do you think that is? Because moths.

Pretty much. Pretty much. There's something called the, now, would they be pointe shoes or pointe shoes? They're just pointe, aren't they? Bounty, you did dancing. Pointe shoes, pointe shoes. It's just pointe. Pointe shoes.

Thank you very much. But it's got a A on the end. Those are your ballet shoes. Okay, right. When you're on point, you know? When you have to go on the top of them. I don't think that's the saying. I reckon it might be.

Nah. No, it is. That is on point. You're on point. Saying origin. Oh, where that saying comes from. Oh, I don't know. On point.

But that is a dance term, is it? It is from dancing. Yes! Sorry, Megan. That's good. I love knowing the origins of a phrase. It's also from when a military and law enforcement with a person on point when stationed at their post

or standing guard. It dates back to the 1880s. The second concerns ballet with a dancer on point when balanced on the tip of their toes. Yeah, right. On point. Guard. That's from the 1900s. Nice. So. Yeah, right. On point. Yeah. On point.

That's from the 1900s. Nice. So, yeah, there's these point shoe bugs. And basically because they keep flour paste in the box. I don't know why they keep. Why they keep flour? Why then their flour is. To stop the moisture.

The moisture. Right. They should try salt or rice. They should try some rice. But anyway, these bugs get into the flour. So there must be like a Weaverly situation in there or not. And they eat the shoes. And they can eat the shoes.

Goodness me. That's right. So I've also got some stats on what ballet uses the most shoes. You know, you all know this song. This is, oh, let me get it. Oh, yeah. Nutcracker. Yes, from the Nutcracker.

This is the dance of the sugar plum fairy. Yeah. And they use a lot of shoes for this one. Each year, they will go through 500 to 800 pairs of shoes doing the Nutcracker. Because they point a lot and go side to side. Have they thought about just going to Hannah's or something? This sounds ridiculously expensive. So that's not the biggest killer of the shoes. They only do this for two weeks

and it uses more shoes in two weeks than the Nutcracker does in six months. Swan Lake. I was going to say it's from Black Swan. Yeah, because there's a lot of up and down and shuffling and dancing and then pointy bits. Up on your toes. Oh, it's intense. Yeah, it's intense. lot of up and down and shuffling and dancing and then pointy bits. Up on your toes. Oh, it's intense.

Yeah, it's intense. And then that Russian woman walks out with glasses on the end of her nose and she's like, this is, no, no, no. Start again. From the top. And they go from the top. And there's always some shady deals going on in those VIP boxes above in movies. Yeah.

I, um, I can't even think of a shady deal off the top of my head. I was too concerned with the Russian woman. Yeah, right. Snapping at them, whacking at them. But they go through, yeah, more shoes in two weeks doing Swan Lake than they do The Nutcracker. So today's main fact of the day, and gosh, we've learnt a lot. Haven't we?

A lot. Horne's just doing a ballet breakdown. Just a little pirouette, just a little quick little pirouette. You can imagine how graceful that was in your own mind. Today's fact of the day is the New York City Ballet has an annual shoe budget of 1.2 million New Zealand dollars. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

A man's proposal has gone wrong. Shared it on SoshMed. Is this bad that I found this quite funny to watch? Oh, it's pretty funny. That's why it's gone viral. Yeah, that's why it's gone viral. So, it's Chris. He was getting down on one knee to ask Angelina to marry him.

That's what he happened like last week. Now this was on the Brooklyn Bridge. Yeah. In New York. Which is, I'm guessing, a little bit quieter than usual. But if anyone's ever been to New York and walked over the Brooklyn Bridge, whatever time of the day, it is hustle and bustle. Like getting down on one knee would be like, it's a busy footpath, basically.

Is it one of those places where lots of people would propose? Maybe not. Because of all the people there. It's a historic bridge. But it's weird though because there's like skinny lanes and then there's bits where it opens out for the pillars and stuff.

You'd think you'd just go around there. But he just seems to get down in the middle of the bike path. And herein lies the problem. So he got down on one knee on the Brooklyn Bridge, but the problem arose when he had asked a friend to take pictures of the moment because he wanted to capture it for him but he's obviously busy. It's a very picturesque bridge.

I can see why they went there. But the friend as you just said, there's lots of cyclists. The friend stepped into the bike lane and gets absolutely pummeled by a bike hurtling along. So the person that was filming this viral video

is that one of their friends as well? I think so. I think so. The photographer's in the shot as well. Yeah, so I think there was a couple from each angle. Oh, God, okay. You can, yeah, a cyclist wearing a mask comes hurtling along and absolutely takes out one of the friends taking photos.

The mask falls off too, so, I mean. I know. That was in the still of when the bike dude is going over his handlebars. I'm like, oh, his mask's off. Never mind the fact he's not wearing a helmet. He's about to, like, probably get concussion, some serious facial injuries. I'm like, well, his mask's off.

To be fair, though, there's a picture now of a picture, the bride-to-be with her hand over her mouth, holding her groom's hand as he's down on one knee. So she's like, oh my gosh, he is turning around looking at the crash that's ensuing behind them and the cyclist is absolutely pummeling into their frame. It's a great photo.

But we wanted to ask this morning on the back of this, when did a mate ruin your moment? She should have watched where she was, you know? Yeah. She should have watched where she was, you know? Yeah. She should have watched where she was going. Have you guys had a mate ruin a moment?

Not a big moment like a proposal or anything like that. Just got good friends, eh? You wouldn't have a friend that would screw something like this up. But then this was an accident. It was an accident. Yeah, it was. Yeah. Maybe you've got a clumsy mate who just chose an opportune moment to be clumsy and ended

up ruining a... Like at a wedding, tripped over. Oh, that sucks because then it was an accident, but it still pisses you off. Or you're overseas and an old clumsy mate tries to do a rope swing and you're like, rope swings aren't really a thing. I wouldn't rope swing into a river in Laos. I'd probably just jump in on the tube. Like, no, you're going to give it a go, are you?

Great. And then they break and then they ruin the moment that was a lovely holiday. So a wedding proposal has gone viral because the couple's friend taking photos stepped into the path of a cyclist. On the Brooklyn Bridge. But absolutely collected. Shadoosh. But then, I mean, they've the path of a cyclist. On the Brooklyn Bridge, but absolutely collected.

Shadoosh. But then, I mean, they've probably done them a favour. It's made their proposal go viral. And they're still cool photos. Not quite what you were going for. So we want to know when a friend has ruined your moment. Chanel, what happened? Well, one of my good friends, hubby, or husband now,

called me in to help with the proposal. Okay. So I dropped her off at their special spot and he was there and he had bubbles and everything all set out. So I kind of dropped her off and made up a story. And after about 10 or 15 minutes of sitting in the car, I thought, I'm going to check how they're doing and then I'll lead them to it. And so I kind of walked around and I was sitting there drinking bubbles and I was like, oh, congratulations. So I guess you said yes. And they both kind of just gave me this death stare.

And he was like, I haven't asked her yet. And I was like, oh shit. Oh! Oh! Bubbles can be a pre-ask thing. No, you always have bubbles after the ask. I know, I know.

He was just dragging it out. Get it done. Rip the band-aid off. She'd be like, come on, mate. Hurry it up. Did she later tell you she expected it? Or did you actually... She kind of still had no idea what was going on because it was her birthday as well. So, yeah. She just saw it as a birthday picnic.

Wow. Now. I just want to dig a hole and crawl in it. Oh, totally. Yeah. I've never lived it down. Yeah. All right. Well, 0800DARLS.

Keep your texts coming in as well. 9696. When did a mate ruin your proposal? Some text messages in. And it can be any sort of moment. Here's someone who's had their sporting moment ruined. Okay. First time as a teenager getting into a rep cricket team.

Okay. That's a big deal. Tournament ended up getting put in a different region. So I ended up going up against my own team. Okay. So they're like, I don't know, school or club team. Yeah. But then they qualified for a different regional team.

Right. Had to go in batting against my best mate. He bowled me out first ball, golden duck. That was my one moment Of sporting prowess To open the batting For a rep team That I was lucky to have made

And he bowled me out First ball Have never lived it down Right Well maybe it should have been more That's why he's not in the black caps More defensive And yeah

Looked at the ball more Yeah Or is that what you reckon? Yeah look at the ball more I don't know I'm just saying things They say on the commentary Barrier

Yeah Barrier with the bat Barrier with the bat. My friend proposed to his girlfriend on London Bridge. As he pulled the ring out of his pocket, he didn't know a piece of rubbish fall out onto the ground. A passerby stopped to berate him from littering right in the middle of the proposal. Absolute mood killer.

We got engaged during lockdown and that night had a scheduled Zoom quiz. Disclosure. Absolute mood killer. We got engaged during lockdown, and that night had a scheduled Zoom quiz. I very excitedly showed my hand at the start of the call, and no joke, 10 seconds later, one of my friends was like, oh, my God, we bought a house today. Obviously, I was super happy for her, but at least give me a minute's attention.

I'm getting married? Seriously, how dare you? Oh, my sister-in-law wore white to my wedding. That's all it says. What? Seriously, how dare you? Oh, my sister-in-law wore white to my wedding. That's all it says. What? Oh, no. Ew. She knew what she was doing. We had another call before as well.

There was a theme. There was a colour theme. It was the 21st and the theme was black. So everyone was expected to wear black and the friend wore gold. Not just another colour. That's gold. That's everyone look Look at me. See, I just wear black at slimming.

I'm like, you know, I like my navy blue and my blacks. My mum told her good friend about the birth of my first child because she was excited, as you do. However, her friend told her daughter, and her daughter put a congratulations message on Facebook. Oh, no. She didn't DM me. It was a public congratulations.

I was lying in a hospital recovering from surgery and suddenly started getting congratulations messages before we'd even announced our big news. I was angry. Man. Completely stole the thunder. Deleted the daughter off Facebook. Your girl.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and Clinton to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music. Live the air. ZM.