ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 24th September 2021

Episode Date: September 23, 2021

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The ZM Podcast Network. Play. ZM's Fletch, Morton and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Morton and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, Barista made coffee available from drive-thru and McDelivery at level 3 and also dine-in at level 2. And Megan has just picked up a new bag of the Pascal Peach Fruit Burst Lumps. Is that what they're called? The Peach Lumps Fruit Burst. Yeah. So it's like a fruit burst peach which Is that what they're called? The peach lumps fruit burst.

Yeah. So it's like a fruit burst peach which has been brought back. These are, the producer didn't have glowing reviews of these. No, I had one and spat the rest in the bin.

However, there is one left in the bag so someone liked them. Oh my gosh. Yeah, that's why they don't like them because they've had a whole bag each. They've made themselves sick.

The 1960s ways of getting your kids to not smoke. You catch them smoking, you make them smoke 18 whole packets of smokes and then either they're addicted to smoking for the rest of their life or they'll never smoke again. And that's a roll of the dice, that one. That's a real roll of the dice at that parenting technique, isn't it? Oh, that's why I say I'm not doing it.

No, I think I'll skip that one. Yeah. That's so mean. It's good at the start because there's chocolate, but then when the chocolate goes, you're left with that revolting peach lolly. I like the peach lolly, and I like the chocolate. She's choking and dying.

But I don't know if peach and chocolate go together. No, they don't go together. No, I wouldn't have thought so. No. Couldn't really think of any stone fruit that goes. Oh, cherry with chocolate, maybe. Well, good one, Pascal. I'm going to eat them, though.

Thank you, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleechmorn and Megan, happy Friday morning. Daylight savings this weekend. That's right. Look how light it is out there One hour

So Monday's going to be a real prick for us Anybody who has to get up early I've only got one whole clock in my whole house That I'll have to change manually Just the one on the wall An old clock I can't read those anyway It's purely decorative in your house.

Take the battery out of that thing. It's confusing everywhere. It's half the year. It's always an hour out. Yeah. You just don't notice. Yeah, you got your oven. You got your microwave.

I don't have a time on my oven. Do you? That's so retro. I've got a random time on my oven. I don't care. I don't rely on it. Yeah. And our power goes off and on so often that you're just constantly resetting it.

Yeah. But yeah, one on the wall as well. And then everything else takes care of itself nowadays. The car one's one that people always leave out, eh? Because they CBF. Every six months or whatever, you forget how to do it. Yeah. And then you're like, oh, it takes forever.

Yeah. Okay, I've got to remember next time. And then it gets to March and you're like, oh, it'll be right in like a month. And then you're like, ah, but no time like the present. So you change it. And then you've got to change it back. Yeah. Are the top six on the way?

Yeah, the top six things we can store on our neat new Amazon data storage system we're getting. Ooh. So they're building like a giant, like, you know, when you upload something to the cloud, this is going to be like Amazon cloud servers. They're going to be built here in New Zealand. This is worth like bajillions of dollars to New Zealand. This is great news.

Yeah, but also hogging the power. Oh, does it? These things use a lot of power. Well, hopefully they're built it out by you. So I think they, one of the theories is they're building it here because we've got less coal power. So they can claim that it's a bit more eco-friendly because of how much of our power is created by hydroelectric dams.

Oh, okay. But, yeah. Well, they'll be the first to turn... Do you remember when they were just turning random people's power off like a month ago? Yeah, I was about to say, I don't know if we've got power to spare for Amazon. They can turn off Amazon's first. Yeah, I reckon we turn off Amazon's first. Yeah, just if we need to.

Well, the top six dealing with that soon. Yeah, the top six things we can store on our neat new servers. All right, it's coming up. And next, Forbes has unveiled its first ever list of highest earning TikTokers. Is this going to make me sad? Yes, it is. Okay.

ZDM's Fletchvorn and Megan. I really don't want this to sound bitter, so I'm happy for them. Yeah. Well, that certainly sounded authentic. Forbes has released its first ever rich list for TikTok. So this is top five of the highest earning TikTokers. Okay, I'm going to open up my TikTok so I can see who these people are.

I mean, you can guess a few of these. Is Davey on there? Oh, no, Petey? Petey that I sent through the other day? Oh, no, Petey should be. Petey should be. He's very funny. You like him, don't you?

I like Petey. There's six, actually. I'm number six is tied between Michael Lee and Spencer X. Spencer X, I can get because he does like

beat boxes and stuff and he's really talented. Right. The one they've got here is he guzzles a bit of lemon juice and then does a beat box. Okay.

It's really good. Right. I've got his TikTok hair flitch if you want. Okay, sure. Oh, he's doing. Oh, wow. Fascinating watch. He's taking a Doritos break.

That's how he's making all his money. Oh, you just gave Doritos a free plug. Is it sweet Thai chilli? It's my favourite flavour. Looks like double salsa to me. Oh, yuck. See looks like double salsa to me. Oh, yuck. See, like that seemed to me. And that was also for the MTV VMAs. Oh, wow, okay.

Killing it. So how much money is he making if he's number six? 1.2 million. He's tied with Spencer X. That is Spencer X. Oh, no, Michael Lee and Spencer X are tied. Okay. Oh, yeah, Spencer X.

Michael Lee does dancing, it looks like, dancing with his fam. Oh, yeah, I've seen him before. He's got pink hair. God, that was a dad description of someone I've seen. That's the most dad description of, mind you. It didn't have some sort of dig because dad would also put a dig in there. Yeah. He's that guy with pink hair. Looks like a bloody idiot. That's what because dad would also put a dig in there. Yeah. He's that guy with pink hair.

Looks like a bloody idiot. That sort of dad looks like. So number five, can you look up Josh Richards? Because I don't want to sound bitter and I'm happy for him. Yeah. He's earning 1.5 million. And maybe the example they used, because I haven't come across Josh. He's a good looking dude.

He was just sitting on a chair making gestures. So his thing is just being hot. Yeah. Yeah, okay, yeah. Yeah. He's got bright blue eyes. Oh, that was a terrible dance. Oh no, he just fell over.

He is 1.5 million. In the video I saw, he literally sat on a chair and raised his eyebrows. Oh, he is hot though, isn't he? God. Damn it. Check that on your follow list. Number four, and we have a bit of a jump, so you remember 1.5 million. For old blue eyes.

Lauren Gray. She's 2.6 million. Lauren G-R- G-R-A-Y. Okay. Loves the dance. And how much is she earning? $2.6 million.

She is beautiful. Okay. Long blonde hair. In fact, I think as we go from the- There's no ugly people so far, is there? Nah. I'm seeing a trend here. Hey, do you know what's good though?

What? Out of the top six, the bottom couple are dudes and then the top four are all women. Just to break the trend. Yeah, but that's only because dudes are pervs and women want to do their dance moves. Yeah. So she's only, if I'm looking at the right one, Lauren Gray,

she's got 172,000 followers. That doesn't seem like a lot. She got a blue tick? No. L-O-R-E-N. Oh, L-O-R-E-N. Oh, L-O-R-E-N. Lauren Gray. Gotcha. Yeah. Then we get into the D'Amelios.

Number three, Dixie D'Amelio. How much? 2.9 mil. Yeah, I'm familiar with the D'Amelios. Yeah. Not as much as her sister. Charlie. Charlie D'Amelio is number two.

She earns four million $4 million. $4 million. Dancers, right? Just like, you know, good dancers. And then number one is no surprise. Addison Rae earns $5 million on TikTok. Wow. I saw a bit, I think it was on 60 Minutes in Australia,

and they interviewed this girl who's TikTok famous, and she earns a bit of money. It's not millions, but they spoke to her dad, and he's like, yeah, it was hard at the start. Like, you know, she's not going to school anymore. She's staying at home, earning money off TikTok. He said it's hard to not be jealous. Like, I'm going off to build stuff and work a 10-hour day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what.

And she's at home earning hundreds of thousands of dollars. And then she's like, look what I did today. And it's this, like, 10-second dance. And he's just like, oh, man. Because in Dad's day, there was two TV channels. Yep. And it was bloody hard to get a job there. And you still didn't get paid that much.

Yeah. So it's mind-blowing. It's hard for them to comprehend how an industry that did not exist when they were that age is now something so massive you can make millions of dollars. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Well, one of my favourite countries, Colombia. Oh, yeah.

Colombia. There is a politician there that he's a member of the Liberal Party. He's brought forward a bill which is being discussed at the moment. Because what happens is you introduce a bill and then the members of Parliament vote on it if they want it, eh? Yeah. Yeah, and New Zealand, they randomly draw them out. Yeah, like out of a biscuit tonne. Yeah, Tomody Coff coffees got drawn. The surrogacy laws, I believe the basic,

easier for same-sex couples, males predominantly, to have a child and have it as their child. That's good. So it got drawn out of the biscuit tin. Yeah. Well, this one, this is a bill in Columbia that recognises the sentimental bond between humans and their domestic pets

and the death, which can have a considerable emotional impact on people. And they are proposing to give people two days paid bereavement leave if their pet dies. I think that's good. Especially like... Yeah. Well, this politician said that some people Don't have children Yeah

But they do have A much loved pet Which they have A deep bond with Maybe take it at the weekend That's their child I'd just say Take it at the weekend

That's not how it works Right Oh your parents died Well my parents Are a little bit different Two days at the weekend Pets don't last forever Yeah parents do

Pets don't bring you Into the world Pets don't clothe you and feed you. Yeah. You've got a fair point there. Be sad. Yeah. But you don't need a day off.

Buckle up, champ. I'd love to see you as an employer. Oh, you'd have a few. What are you crying for? You would. My cat died. Oh, no. You should talk to the SPCA. Shit, they can't get rid of these. You should get another one. Oh, no. You should talk to the SPCA.

Shit, they can't get rid of these. You should get another one. Oh, my God. Yeah, this is on a Monday. You're like, just take the weekend. Pat, Pat. Can you just put your bereavement on hold for five days and take it at the weekend?

Yeah, it's Monday. My cat just died. I'd be like, what? Oh, Friday. You'd have a few employment relations issues, eh, if you were a boss. Yeah. I mean, I would. I don't know how you dealt with all those people when you worked at the cafe.

You've just got to be. People that just didn't even turn up for work. Empathetic. Oh, yeah. The ones that ghosted us weren't great. Just decided they're not going to come to work anymore. Yeah, but then some people, you'd just be like, you've just adopted an old cat again. How many two days off do you want? Oh, that's actually

a good plan. Loophole. And then what counts as a domestic pet? Because technically our miniature cows are pets. Because we're not using them for any agricultural purpose apart from pets. And also could you then send

like a hundred of them to the meat works and then get 200 days? No, because no, because then you if you're sending someone to the meat works you bought it for the express purpose of eating. They were pets, I named them all And if you sent them away, like to be killed, that's me. And you're a

farmer so you're self-employed Have I just bankrupted myself? You're taking It seems like a lot Also your chickens don't count so you're self-employed. Have I just bankrupted myself? You're taking, it seems like a lot. Also, your chickens don't count. You're not taking two days off per chicken. No, not for a chicken. I wouldn't expect to take a chicken a day off for a chicken. Some people would, though.

They love their chickens. Well, some people would. Yeah. They would like show chickens, those fluffy ones. Yeah. And they take them places in cages. And then the whole area stinks.

They're all a little bit kooky. And the chickens are all freaking out. They're like, Well, good stuff, Columbia. From the majestic ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six.

Hello there. Amazon Data Centre's being built in Aotearoa. Apparently they'll be spending $7.5 billion on these giant data centres in Tamaki Makairo. Apparently creating a thousand jobs. And we'll add $10 billion over a decade and a half, so over 15 years. Of all the online, like, leading cloud platforms, the big dogs, percentage-wise, global market share, how much do you think is Amazon?

A lot. Okay, so there's Amazon, Microsoft, Google, Alibaba, and others. 40%. 60. 50, right in the middle. 50% of the leading cloud online platform market share is Amazon.

Do you remember it was ages ago, everything went down. Everything. And they were like, oh, it was an Amazon server. Yeah, yeah, that's right. And I was like, whoa. They have everything. And there were so many sites that went down. So, this was from May 2021.

There was a photo taken from inside Amazon New Zealand's New Auckland digs across two floors of the new PWC Tower at Commercial Bay. Oh, fancy. Everybody wants to be in there. It's all new. So, then the servers will be in there. No. Because they can't take up a lot of space.

They'll build a giant warehouse somewhere. A giant warehouse. Oh, and Silverdale. There you go. Executive internet on you. People will be able to pop in and see you. The Amazon data centre and this Oriwa beach you rave about. You reckon it's a day trip.

That's lovely. That's lovely. That's lovely. It's really flat, isn't it? No waves. No, it's really lovely. It's good on the joints if you want to do a walk. It's good on the joints. Yeah, because everyone there is 70 plus.

I was going to say that's because everybody who walks along there is a retiree. Very safe. Wide car parks. You simply must come. We'll be there. So Amazon's building these data centres. It's got an Auckland office. I thought the top six things we can store in a new Amazon data centre.

Okay. Number six, photos of your cat, dog, child. You know, the three big photo blockers. Yeah. Imagine everything that's on there. You could just have a nosy. Where would you even start, though? I know.

There would be so much stuff. Where would you start looking through somebody's cloud? Yeah. Number, especially, that's just one person. How would you pick the person to start with? I know. The hottest person. Sure.

Number five on the list of the top six things We can store On our new Amazon data centre Are apps That we'll never Ever use again I know I have so many apps I never use

And I'm like I should delete them And then I delete Like heaps of them And then I'm like I need that app now I've got that thing Where if I don't use it

On my phone for so long It keeps it on the cloud But it takes it off my phone Oh yeah Oh that's clever But no Oh no Because there'll be one You don't use And then you'll go to but it takes it off my phone. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's clever. But no. Oh, no.

Because there'll be one you don't use, and then you'll go to use it, and it'll be like, I just have to get that off the cloud. And I'm like, oh, no. And then it just thinks about it, and you find another way around using that app. And then it's like, bing, I'm ready. You're like, you're three days late. Number four on the list of the top six things we can store in our new Amazon data center.

All those temporary files that your computer wants to keep. You know how when you're doing a clean out and it's like, you've got 18 gigs of temporary files. Well, now we get to keep them forever. Hooray, temporary files. You just got made permanent files. Number three on the list of the top six things we can store in our new Amazon data center. Every single email we've ever received. Why not?

Why not? Why not? I mean, we could delete them, have a clean out. But why? Why would we? Number two on the list of the top six things we can store in our new Amazon data centre, that Lord of the Rings series that they made one season of here before. Taking it somewhere else!

Yeah, rude. We haven't forgiven you. I guess they've made up for this with us, haven't they? Have they? Maybe not. And number one on the list of the top six things we can store in our new Amazon data centre, that boring work stuff folder or a new folder,

but it's buried within four layers of other folders or recipes or system files. Never call it recipes, your mum loves recipes What's your mum doing on your laptop? When I was on the old family computer You bury it Now, you shouldn't be saving them anymore Just stream them

That is today's top six While I have absolutely Zero grasp on statistics And how it works I bloody love it Let's go on and Megan. While I have absolutely zero grasp on statistics. Yep. And how it works. I bloody love it. When someone lays it out for me in an easy to digest.

And you know what? Even better? Infographic. Oh, yeah. I love an infographic. Put the infographic in my mouth. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Love some good statistics. Love an infographic.

Well, modeling prepared for our government by Sean Hendy, who is a statistician superstar. So if New Zealand got 80% vaccinated for five and over, so that would be 75% of the total population. Okay. We would be seeing around 7,000 COVID-19 deaths a year if we were to drop restrictions and just be like, well, we've reached this number of vaccinations.

It's open season, baby. This is the guy they wheeled out on the computer, the TV screen between the Prime Minister and Ashley yesterday. Yeah, I was kind of hoping for more of a fun video, like Shrek or something. When the teacher brought in the TV on the wheels. How often do you think a teacher wheeled a TV in because they were hungover?

It never occurred to me at the time, but if you were a teacher and you were just like, uh-oh, Tuesday got out of hand. Tuesday. Tuesday got out of hand. It was bloody summer tennis. I went down and I lost a few sets and then hit the club rooms and got blotto and now I've got a headache, but I'm here, so shut up and watch Shrek.

Yep. I'd imagine it would happen a lot. So I was reading there, some people have disputed these figures. Yes. And said, well, look at Singapore, for example. They've got higher vaccination rates, though. Yeah. And they've said, but then they've said, yeah, but we've got a higher, we've got a different population, different ethnicities.

And as a country, we're in some of them, you know, we're always in the top fattest nations. Yeah. So that puts us at more risk as well. Yes, true. Because obesity is one of the at-risk groups. Yeah, totally. So if 90% of us are vaccinated, that's going to mean we can open up. That's a better picture, isn't it?

So 90% of the five plus, so 60,000 hospitalizations a year, 7,000 deaths in the initial year. That is if we sit at 75% total population. Okay. Because you can't, at the moment, can't vaccinate children. Yep. However, if it was 90% of the five plus population, so around 85% of people who are of the full population, but of those eligible for vaccination,

if we hit 90%, the deaths would drop to 600 over a year or 50. If we had 600, sorry, if we had 90% vaccination, but we still kept in place some other health measures. Right. Like a level one and a half.

Right. Masks and masks. Yeah. Santis, one-y and a half-y. Right. Masks and stuff. Masks, sannies, check-ins, contact tracing, people stayed home if they were sick. You know, if people still adhered to those sorts of basic rules. The average people that die of the flu in New Zealand,

people love to trot this out, it's just the flu. That's about 500 a year, isn't it? I believe so. But, again, the high risk. Oh, so again the high risk oh totally the high risk people take the majority of those deaths yeah i mean you don't want to see anyone die but yeah yeah wow okay so get vaccinated i listened to that podcast about the birth of vaccinations the inoculation one where they would would purposely give themselves smallpox. Which, by the way, has been eradicated from the planet.

Yeah. So they give themselves a little cut and they drip in a bit of pus from a smallpox. And then they'd catch smallpox, but it was like way down. Yeah. Right. And then some guy's like, you know what else works? Cowpox. And it's way safer.

And they're like, we'll try that then. And that was like, okay, cool. It was wild. And that's why it's called vaccines because vacca is the Latin word for cow. What? That's wild. When was that happening? So that was the 1600s in Boston

where they started doing smallpox vaccines with smallpox pus. Inoculations, rather. Kind of a weak exposure to it. And initially everyone was anti, right? They're like, oh, what's going on? And the main reason, do you know the main reason they were anti? Why?

Because it was discovered in West Africa. And so someone had a slave and the slave's like, oh, yeah, I've got a scar on my arm because when I was a kid, we got a cut and they put in a little bit of smallpox. And all these like white people were like, we're not doing what they do in Africa. Absolutely no way. I'm not taking any advice from slaves. I're not doing what they do in Africa. Absolutely no way. I'm not taking any advice from slaves.

I'm not taking any advice from these people. But a doctor did it, and then they all started secretly coming to him to get inoculated. Yeah, be like, I'll come up. It's pretty wild. Wow. And then you're just like, wow, people acted then like they do now. Same now. Just like crazy.

But yeah, loads of vaccine spaces available this weekend. Yep. Lots of drive-through places, particularly in Auckland. Yep. And kind of good to hear them say yesterday, if we can get to like 90% in Auckland, things will start opening up. 4.8 million total doses administered. 1.696 fully vaccinated New Zealanders.

That's 39% of the people who can be vaccinated. And 3.1 million have had one or more doses. So 73%. That's 39% of the people who can be vaccinated. And 3.1 million have had one or more doses. So 73%. I was talking to a friend. He's not in Auckland. And he's from Auckland, but he's allowed to work and travel around. He's got an exemption.

Just saying people that aren't in Auckland are a bit like about the vaccine either. Just like, oh, in no rush. Yeah. But in two weeks, if we go to level two and Aucklanders can start going around the country. We're bringing it. We'll start bringing it. We're packing COVID, baby. We're bringing it to the regions.

I don't know why people that want a vaccine aren't in a hurry to get one. Because they don't have the same urgency that we do in Auckland, I don't think. Because they're not locked down. You guys want a little... A little COVID. Too late! You can go to the website bookmyvaccine.gov

to grab a vaccine if you're into that. Or we could put a little cut in your arm and have someone with COVID sneeze into it. Go old school. Put some pus in it. Either way. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. So I see Brussels sprouts and ice cream go together

and you're like, no, they don't. Well, they don't, no. Well, Tip Top seems to think they do. We've had a press release to say that they're not making it, don't, they're not making a Brussels sprouts ice cream. Good, good. Although I... Because I was just, I know there was that news story yesterday

that kids, when you're a kid, it's something about, is it brassicas? The broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, your taste buds don't like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I just always remember hating Brussels sprouts as a kid. Also, it's because our mums were like boiling them and they go. Yeah, that's true. My mum didn't like Brussels sprouts, so we didn't have to have them. That restaurant we went to did that. Chargroud. Yeah, that's true. My mum didn't like Brussels sprouts so we didn't have to have them. That restaurant we went to did that

chargroud. Oh my god. Chargroud Brussels sprouts with like balsamic and garlic. I love roasting them with balsamic. They're so yum. So good. Yeah, so it's not a Brussels sprouts ice cream. Brussels sprout.

Every time I see it now. Is it Brussels sprout? Brussels sprout. That was a fact of the see it now. Is it Brussels sprout? Brussels sprout. That was a fact of the day. Yeah, because it's Brussels. From Brussels. From Brussels. Every time I see it written as Brussels sprout, I'm like, no, that's wrong. No, you must be, yes, okay.

The Brussels sprouts. It's not an ice cream. Tip-top. Tip-top. Tip-top. Tip-top. I'm just thinking young ice cream. Making a secret hiding place for you to put your ice cream.

So this is a, it looks like when it goes in the freezer, it looks like you have a box of Brussels sprouts. Like you've got it from the frozen section. Okay. And it looks legit and no one would be any the wiser, no one would go into that box. Okay. So that's where you can slip in your ice cream

and no one's going to see it. That's quite genius, really, to be honest. Except now I've just told everyone. Yeah. So it looks like it's a box for not your tub of ice cream. Looking at this photo you're showing us, Megan, it looks like it's where you put your chop tops or your bar ice cream, like your trumpets.

So that's a longer box. But do you think the tub would fit in there too? Surely it would. Surely they've made it. You can make a box, I guess, if you made it. It doesn't look that deep. But what a great idea. Such a good idea.

So are they giving these away at the supermarket or something? So they're going to be giving away 150 of these cover-up boxes on their Facebook page. Genius. Because they've ripped this idea off all the mums on TikTok that hide chocolate in like mixed veggie bags. Which is genius if you want to hide treats from anyone in your house. Yeah. Or your flat.

Yeah. Because like you can hide biscuits in your room, but you can't hide ice cream in your room. Or from yourself if you've got a bit of a short term memory. You know? That's my worst nightmare is me as an 80 year old going through my freezer if you've got a bit of a short-term memory. You know? That's my worst nightmare is me as an 80-year-old going through my freezer and I'm like, why is there chocolate in this Brussels sprouts box?

And you ring up, you make a complaint to the supermarket. But it's just that I now have Alzheimer's and I've completely forgotten. You're trying to hide it from yourself. ZDM Splashborn and Megan. Producer Jared found a, this is actually from the shit you should care about. Oh, yeah.

They do some good stuff. They do some great stuff. It's a great mix of nice, Harry Styles. Approachable political messaging and Harry Styles. Yeah. And they make no apologies for that either. This is my favourite.

They wear it when they post about Harry Styles after posting about like abortion rights and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a wonderful balance, baby. It's a great balance. There's got to be balance in life. Wonderful balance. So they said stuff that was embarrassing for no reason.

Getting up during class. Oh, yeah. Like even just going up to use the toilet. Asking to use the toilet during class. Yeah. 100%. Asking for the price of something, but then not buying it. Yeah.

How much is this? Yeah, because those guys, they're like, oh, it's $18. You're like, whew. And then they're like, oh, he's poor. Do you ever go into shops and you're like, you've never been in there before and you don't know the price point of the shop and you go in and you look at the price tags and you're like, oh my God, it's so expensive. No, no.

And then I look at some more like, oh, this is totally another price point. Don't drop it. Don't drop it. I do that. You have to pretend to keep looking like you would buy this really expensive stuff. I could totally afford it. See, I'm looking at other things. No.

And you get out real quick. Straight out. They know as soon as you walk in and you're like, oh, my God, I've walked into the wrong store. I don't belong here. I feel like the shock shows on my face. Yeah. My mum is like next stage.

She'll walk in, look at something and be like, Jesus, that's expensive. Loud enough to ring an error and then turn around and walk straight back out. You're right. That is embarrassing. But why? And it shouldn't be. No. Using or carrying an umbrella also makes the list. Yeah, I don't like...

Putting up an umbrella is embarrassing. You're like, I just didn't want to get wet. I used to walk to work all the time. In Auckland it's so unpredictable and I would like, I'm not carrying an umbrella. I've always got one in my bag, but you're right, when you carry it you're just like, oh my god, everyone's so unpredictable. And I would like, I'm not carrying an umbrella. I've always got one in my bag. But you're right, when you carry it, you're just like, oh my God, everyone's looking at me.

But it shouldn't be embarrassing. Everyone uses an umbrella. Running after tennis or ping pong balls. Ping pong balls are worse. Ping pong balls are worse. And you know what's worse? Something blowing away from you, like a hat. Yes.

Or if you accidentally drop a bit of rubbish, so you start chasing it and it's just like, no, I'm rubbish. You keep trying to stamp on it and then you miss it and you're like, oh God, that's so embarrassing. And you've got to do those big like big steps. You've got to lift your leg higher in case when your leg's in the air, it moves and you've

got to make an executive decision. I feel like running's just embarrassing. Like when you're not going for a run, if you're in general attire and you've got to like run across the road or something. It was that Instagram account where people were running to get on trains and buses and the doors shut in their face.

Like the running was the most awkward part. I don't know if the door shutting was one thing, but them running was. I know, yeah. Do you know they sold that Instagram account? I know. It was like, it was based in Australia and it was like missed your bus or missed the bus.

And yeah, it was always people running for the train in Sydney and stuff. And yeah, and then they sold it to like some overseas and everyone was just like,

memes thing. And then I don't remember, everyone's comments are, I don't remember following this account. Yeah. And then you looked into it and it's like,

we used to be this account. It's a sad day. Yawning in public. Oh yeah. And then you try to stifle it and you end up like this. Wiping gym equipment after using. I feel like everyone's watching. To see how sweaty you were.

To see how well you wipe it. To see how well you're wiping it, yeah. I give it a thorough wipe. I've never found that embarrassing, but now that I think about it. You do, yeah. I'm squeaky or slippery shoes. Oh, yeah. I've got a shoe that, because one foot of mine is quite bigger than the other,

and my one foot slips out and it farts every time it goes back in. So you're walking along, it sounds like you're farting. So we want to know from you this morning, things that you find embarrassing that, like, why? They shouldn't be embarrassing, but you just do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, shouldn't be embarrassing, but you just do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, shouldn't be embarrassing, but you totally do. Hiccups? Add to the list. It's alright when you know

the people, but if you get hiccups around strangers, it's quite like, like, I'm so sorry about my spasming diaphragm, guys. I didn't know I was going to do this. I apologise. Alright, 0800DilesAtM, you can give us a text as well, 9696. What do you find embarrassing? But you shouldn't

Can't explain why and it probably shouldn't be We're talking about things that are embarrassing you don't know why and they probably shouldn't be but you kind of get that Like everybody's watching you feeling

Yeah I don't want anyone to see me doing this What about I was just thinking one you know when you have to take your tray back to the rubbish bin area at the food court?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Or when you're even just carrying a tray in the food court. And you're sliding on the tray and you're like, everyone's judging how much I've got. Yeah, they're judging what I'm eating. Walking with a tray is horrible. Reality, no one's looking. No. They're just eating their own food.

Yeah, yeah. Quite a few food court ones because I guess it is one of those situations where you think there's always lots of people there. Yeah. Can't remember food courts. Yeah. And it's packed.

Someone said, looking for a table by yourself in a packed food court because you've got to balance yourself. But you also look like you're a little bit lost.

Yeah. I'm like, oh, you can't find your friends. Or having to go back up to the place where you got your food in a food court, but keep an eye on your food on the table. Can I just grab a couple of forks?

Making sure no one's clearing away your food. Yes. When someone hands change back to you at a checkout and it's in your hand and you're like, what now? Yeah, because that shouldn't be embarrassing, right? No, but you're like, am I going to have to attempt to put it all in my pocket? What if I drop something somebody else said when you drop a coin? And you're like, I want that.

And then you have to pick it up and you have to be down on the ground. And it's 10 cents. It's almost like, oh. Is it worth it? Yeah. Eve, what is embarrassing but shouldn't be?

Oh, there's nothing worse than going to your mailbox and opening it up and there's nothing in there and you just feel your neighbours watching and going.

I feel that every time. Yeah, why though? It's not your fault no one sent a bill. I feel like the neighbours are like, I've got no friends. Yeah, why though? It's not your fault no one sent a bill. I feel like the neighbours are like, I've got no friends. Yeah.

Oh, sweetheart, you've got no mail again. Even if it's just a flyer, you're like, yes. Something. I'm not walking away empty-handed again. Is it because you look a little bit desperate if you go for a specific walk to the mailbox and there's nothing there for you? Yes.

You can imagine the neighbours having a chuckle through the net curtains. Oh, God, she's got no mail again, loser. What about getting started on a bike? Oh, my God. It's just always awkward. That first moment where you've got both feet leave the ground and you've got one foot on there and then when the other foot's like, all right, I'm coming up, and your body's like, well, I better start doing something,

and you're like, just that initial, I don't know. It always feels weird to me. I don't want people watching me do that. Eve, thanks for your call. Some more messages in. One of the most popular ones we've had is walking back after bowling. You bowl your ball. So true.

And then if you miss completely, that's an embarrassing walk. If you get a strike, you've got to go like, how much do I celebrate? Yeah, do I keep a straight face like meant to do that? And it's a walk that just takes a little bit too long to walk back and sit down. Do you wave to the people on the walk back? Yeah. What do you do? True.

Someone said when you call someone or a business and it's not a work call, I'm always like, hello, my name, do I give you my name? Do you want my name now? Whereas business, you're there for business. Yeah, yeah. Hello, my name is Vaughan. Because my dad always does it. Ian Smith, Kiwite speaking, that's what he always says when he rings anybody.

Yeah, yeah. And that kind of, he only rings 10 people, and they probably all know that that establishes exactly who he is. But I've picked up the habit. And so when I ring, like, a business, I'll be like, hello, it's Vaughan Smith here. How are you? And they're like, good, thank you, Vaughan Smith.

I'm like, you're like, we didn't need all of that. And I always over, the worst is when you explain what's happening, and they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, I'll have to put you through to someone. But I just told you my whole life story. And you do it again for the next person. Oh, my God, I hate phone calls. And they're like, I feel like you're giving me too much information.

Yeah. Someone said, what about when you pick out a supermarket trolley and you back it up and it's fine. So then you start on your forwards journey and one of the wheels goes wobble, wobble, wobble. And you're like, I can't put this back because I pulled it out backwards. And then everyone's looking at you because your wheel's going wobble, wobble, wobble. Yeah.

Somebody said, I sneezed once. It was one of the most embarrassing modern memories of my life. I think about it sometimes, isn't it? Okay. It makes me... But everybody sneezes. Don't worry about it. Someone's here taking the rubbish out.

I don't know why, but every time I'm like, oh, my God, I've made rubbish. It's just like I always feel like the neighbours are watching my every move as soon as I leave the house. Oh, God, so much rubbish. What about turning around abruptly in the street because you realised you needed to go the other way? That's horrible. There's a lot of running ones about that. Yeah, when people get to the end of their run and they turn around.

That's my favourite to spot. I'm like, oh, end of the run. Turn around. I would, when I ran, would always do a round a block or do a loop. Try to do a loop. Try to do a loop so there's no obvious this is the point I'm turning around. When you turn around that person who sees you turn

around has got no idea how long you've been running. They might think you're giving up. That's why I love it. Because you've got to slow down and you turn around. And they're like, oh he's had enough. Like at least run around a lamppost, right? So it looks like you're doing a loop. Wendy replied to us on Instagram saying,

when your windscreen wipers are going faster than the other cars around you. Am I overdoing it? Why aren't you guys going as, am I, Amber said, getting out of a pool. Oh, yeah. Everyone look away. Yeah, because everybody that gets out of a pool in a movie or whatever, it's all like sexy.

But then I'm going to be like. I look more like the seal at SeaWorld being like, oh, fish. It's like a whale breach. And then you kind of have to roll up and over. Yeah. Someone said, I don't know why is walking through the body scanners at the airport so awfully embarrassing. Even when it doesn't beep, you're just like.

Because everyone in the line's watching. Yeah. Yeah. Alright, Amy, to finish up, what's embarrassing that it shouldn't be? Having happy birthday sung to you. Oh my god, what, is it just because everyone's looking at you, eh? Everyone's looking and you just have to sit there and listen to

terrible singing and wait till it's over. But attention seeker Vaughan is not relating to this at all. I enjoy it. But I'd rather sing people happy birthday than have it sung to me. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Let them feel the awkwardness.

Yeah. I wonder why this generation's so anxious. Shucks, guys. Amy, thanks for your call. ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Play ZM. We're joined on the phone by the lovely Epivicent. Does that mean sparkling water?

Isn't it Epivicent? Epivicent. Jess Quinn, hello. Good morning. Like a human soda stream. What an intro. You can add whatever flavour you want. She's bubbly.

Epivicent and epivisent. I'll take it. I'll take it. You get a lovely way with words, Dawn. Please do. Please do. How have you been over all these lockdowns we've had? Are you doing all right?

Yeah, I'm doing pretty good. I can't complain. It's nice to be able to launch a book in my track pants at home. I'm currently wearing track pants at work. It's great. Judgment-free zone. Yeah. When did you write the book?

Was it in the works last lockdown or has it happened since? I've been writing it for the past two and a half years. So I actually wrote it pre-COVID and then wrote it throughout. So, yeah, it's been a long process. Tell us about the book. What does it kind of cover? Is it autobiographical? Yeah, I guess so. A memoir, they say. So basically, it's about my life story up until this point. I had cancer when I was a kid, and I thought that was a really important story to share, just how I, I guess, went through that, and also everything I've gone

through and learned, and all of the also everything I've gone through and learnt and all of the amazing opportunities I've had since so it touches on lots of different things but I guess half on the body image, body acceptance body diversity space and then the other half is my other message which is I guess

normalising adversity and yeah all of that kind of good stuff How because I can only just be mildly inconvenienced and it will ruin my day my week my month and even my year so how like when you got bone cancer as a nine-year-old and and went through all of that how did i mean was it your parents who kept you like the ray of sunshine that you are? I mean, I've seen that you said you have dark moments and stuff, but what do you put it down to, your great attitude towards life in general? Yeah, I mean, I think probably a bit of nature, a bit of nurture.

My parents definitely kept me going. Even writing the book, I kind of, I mean, I've always known, but I learned even more just how much, I guess, they went through and the, I guess, the way they almost just got on the chin. And I guess I kind of modeled that attitude that I was seeing. And then they didn't let me, I guess, get too dark about it. They kind of tried to find some positive if they won't see me. But, you know, they did try to make it a great experience.

And I was so lucky from my parents through to the nurses I had and everything around me. Obviously, there were so many hard and dark days. But it just, yeah, there was so much positivity around that as well. And I also think being eight going on nine, I didn't know the implications of what I was going through was going to have on my future. So I guess I didn't have the fear that I would have had now had I gone through that, which I think sheltered me quite a lot. You're such a ray of light on social media. Like, I always see your posts. You always make me feel so much better.

You're so real. But, like, do you feel like social media is for you? I mean, I imagine that a lot of people who follow you are very kind and, you know, we follow people who we like and stuff. But do you feel like social media is still, like, a really positive place for people? I'm not sure how I feel about this. I keep changing my mind. And honestly, I entered the space of social media

because I kind of hated it, which has been a really weird space to work to try. I knew I had a body that was different that I could use to challenge the, I guess, image of perfection that was on social. So I was always on there in a love-hate relationship, I guess. And I still feel that now. I see so much stuff, you know,

whenever something really bad happens, people get on board to support. And whenever, you know, there is a lot of really great positivity out there. But at the end of the day, it's a two-dimensional, for the most part, platform. So you see one side of someone's body and you see the photo they've chosen to post. And even, you know, I'm as real as I can be on there, but I'm only showing probably 5% to 10% of my life because I can't possibly show it all.

And so it does create this illusion of what someone's life is actually like. And I think that, you know, I've had many a times where I'm like, maybe if I just got off and I'm just not even adding another body in the mix to compare to, even if I'm trying to be real. But yeah, it's a really hard one because there is good stuff, but there is so much not good stuff. I don't think you can abandon the space because we need more people with that self-realization in that social media space,

and less people who don't realise or bury that realisation. You know, they know that that's a problem, but will happily ignore it. Totally, totally. Right. Still Standing is out now. Jess Quinn, thank you so much for chatting to us this morning. Thank you.

There's only three months left of 2021. In fact, Christmas is three months tomorrow. Yeah, it is. 25th of September, yeah. And daylight savings this weekend. Shut up. So, Nameberry have given us their predictions for names for 2022. They track trends and give predictions of what we'll see in terms of names.

And because the pandemic has been such a massive thing, they're saying playful names could be something because people feel like they've not had a lot of fun maybe in the past couple of years. So Pixie, Iggy, Dovey, Birdie and Bear. Cute nicknames. Yeah, that's kind of what they're thinking. Really cute nicknames.

Pet names, terms of endearment. Your cat's called Bear. Yeah, he is. Would you call a kid Bear? You know what, if it was up to me, maybe. Sure. I can't remember which one of One Direction's kids named Bear. Zane.

That's right. No, it's not Zane. Liam's. Liam's. Liam's. It is Liam's. Posh. I was just going to go through the Craig direction. Craig direction.

It's gotten a bit quiet lately. Also escapist and nature names because obviously- Well, that's Bears both camps there. So Woods, Prairie, Lotus, Koa and Horizon. Let's look out on Horizon. Horizon Smith. Yeah, nah. Nah, it doesn't work. What about picking like a, I mean, it works for New Zealand native trees

because they've got cool names like Cody. Yeah. You know, Martai. Oh, what a great name. Strong sounding, but also freedom in nature. Pine. Pine and Douglas fir and radiata. Norfolk pine.

Doesn't really have the same stick. Four by four. Tantalised. Yeah, tantalised. Tantalised. Fence post. H5 treated. All great names for babies.

H3.2 if you're doing a deck. Also, Bridgerton, they reckon inspired everyone's love for old school and vintage names. So they've put a top five of names we could expect to see in 2022. Francesca, Eloise, Daphne, Cressida and Benedict. Daphne. Daphne. Cressida's cool.

I mean, Benedict. There wasne. Cressida's cool. I mean, Benedict. There was a Toyota Cressida. It was like an 80s. Right, okay. 80s Toyota called a Cressida. Yeah. I don't know if I'd go for. And a lot of old-fashioned names are coming back,

the retro and nostalgic names that we'll see. Baby Keith. I don't know if Keith is coming back yet. Douglas. Douglas is back. That's Douglas Fir and Douglas the old mate. They're going along the lines of Nally, Ned. Ned.

May, Bobby and Betty. Okay. Baby Betty's kind of cute. Yeah. A baby Bobby. Yeah, that's cute. Okay. So, yeah, I mean, those are some of the trends for 2022.

ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. So yeah, I mean, those are some of the trends for 2022. 12 minutes away from 8. Well, it's my pick today for Friday Flashback. This is a Friday tradition. Each week, we take turns each week at picking a song that has to be at least 10 years old. And I thought, well, today from 9 o'clock, we are counting down the greatest Friday jams of all time. So that picked all the good ones you're going to.

Well, I would be very surprised if my song is not in the greatest Friday jams of all time. This was a song that was number one pretty much everywhere around the world. It was number one here in New Zealand. The UK was number one. Switzerland, Germany, France, Belgium, Australia, Sweden. Huge song. The album was number one everywhere as well. Was it?

Not without its controversy. But it was number one this very week back in 2005. I'm going to play it for you, Son. 2005 was an unusual time. It was a year. Wasn't it a weird... Can you tell us what else was in, like,

sort of give us some indications of some of the other sort of songs that were in the top ten at the time? This song beat out Rihanna's Ponderer Play, which was an absolute banger. Let the bass drum speakers run through your sneakers. Yeah, number three this week in 2005, Don't You, the Pussycat Dolls. Oh, great song.

Ghetto Gospel, You're Beautiful, James Blunt. Oh, a vintage era. But the number one song this week in 2005 is coming up. But next on the show. A Friday facial yoga. We let go of the stresses of the week with a little yoga that doesn't require anything other than shoulders up, guys. Yeah. The shoulders up.

The calm before the storm that is Friday flashback that's about to happen. Welcome, everybody, to Friday Face Yoga. Namaste to you all. Namaste in your house. Namaste. Namaste at home. Namaste the hell out of my face. Welcome to Friday Face Yoga.

Today we'll be alleviating the stresses caused by this week. The 8 billionth week of 2021, but at the same time the third week of 2021. Yeah. Yeah. It could have got you this week. Well, we're here to use our faces to undo all the hurt that it's caused as it walked out the door and walked out of your life. Unbreak your heart.

Say you'll love me again. Okay, so first off today, I want everybody to extend their neck, push their chin out, tilt their head back, and open their mouth. And imagine you're pouring the crumbs out of the bottom of the chip bag straight into your mouth no judge no judge what flavor are you eating salt and vinegar doritos yeah the doritos dust is the best i went for a pringles tube what of all the chips and if i break if i try hard enough I can get my lips around the whole thing. And then I can be like, that's an untapped skill.

Wasted. Really wasted. That's a little teethy. Secondly today, our second exercise. Please pull it together for Friday face yoga. Just pretend you're watching your screen. Tilt your head slightly to the side. Stretch the neck because you're watching Wendy Petrie's TikTok dance with Renee Wright.

Goodness me. Tilt your head the other way. Wendy's really throwing it all on there. A lot of... She's really tapping back into her days as an Auckland rugby cheerleader. Good on you, Wendy. Oh, God, her knee nearly went. That would have destroyed me.

Back the other way. Rolling of the neck. She's finished. Now just put a nice smile on your face. That brought me joy. Brought me joy. Now I need you to take from the smile on your face. It brought me joy. Brought me joy. Now I need you to take from the smile on your face, I want you to pop the eyebrows up,

give yourselves a cheeky chin-stretching grin. That's the smug look on your face as you hear they've finally charged the Wanaka absconders for failing to comply with the health order. You thought, you thought, because they were rich and white, they were going to get away with it. Well, great news.

It looks like they haven't. Yet. Yet. Yet. Next up, I want you to, if you have your hands available, hold a fist four inches in front of your face. Yep. Bring the fist slowly closer. And lick.

Get the tongue right out. Yeah. Lick. I want to hear those tongues waggling. There we go. Do it again. Like a little froggy. Megan, I want to hear you.

No, I'm not doing it. You're enjoying an ice cream in Queenstown. But you don't have your mask on. Quick, look to one side. Look to the other. Just as you hear a camera click, you're Judith Collins. And you've just been snapped without your mask on. Oh. Who's the hypocrite

now? I won't use the F word here. Now, with your eyes, I want you to start at the left-hand side. Slowly scroll it, slowly moving your head to the right. Look up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down. That's you tracking the daily cases this week. Up. That's not good. Down.

That's better. Up. What? Down. Okay, I can live with that. Up. What? Down.

Up. What? Again? Down. Don't even look at how many are unlinked to current cases. And finally, I need you to eyebrows up, grit teeth, a little bit of a... Prepare yourself because that's the look you'll have on your face next

during Fletcher's horrible Friday Flashback. I cannot wait for this. ZDM's Fletchbond and Megan. Friday Flashback. I cannot wait for this. Well, today we go back to 2005. This very day in 2005, this was the number one song here in New Zealand. It beat out Rihanna's first ever song, Ponder a Play. It beat out some huge artists to be number one song here in New Zealand. It beat out Rihanna's first ever song, Ponder a Play, beat out some huge artists to be number one,

and it was not just number one here. People are going to hate me for playing this. Hate or love, it's going to be very divisive. This was number one, not just here in New Zealand, but also in Australia and pretty much all over the UK and Europe. Worldwide smash number one from the Ministry of Sound Label. What? Is that? Are you joking?

This all started, and this is a fascinating history. This all started in 1997 with a 17-year-old student who recorded himself imitating noises of a two-stroke engine. Okay. Oh, my God. Now, he posted this on a website and it caught... This is the part where he said... Wow.

Oh, my God. Yeah, you know where this is going, eh? I never knew that. Do you know how many views this has had on YouTube? How many? The official video for this wasn't uploaded until 2009. So four years after its peak. Four years after its peak.

I love that someone I want to hear that guy's other impressions. I hope he's like so rich now. Yeah. So this has had 3 billion views on YouTube and it wasn't uploaded until 4 or 5 years after it was at its peak

of popularity. But I shouldn't be surprised. The first time I played this for my kids who were born in 2012 and 2014 they were just like, play it again. Play it again. Play it again. Play it again. Play it again.

It got shared around as a file called 2tactier.mp3. And that's how it was shared back then because it was like before YouTube, it was file sharing like LimeWire and stuff. Yeah. Or probably even like earlier versions of that. Yeah. There was probably versions of it that weren't even a song. It was just straight up a virus and you had to explain to your parents what you did in your that. Yep. There was probably versions of it that weren't even a song. It was just straight up a virus

and you had to explain to your parents what you did in your computer. Yeah. Well, anyway, we know where this is going and it all culminated in 2005 with Crazy Frog. Axl F.

Wow. And it's your Friday flashback today. What's going on? 12 million thumbs up on YouTube, 2.3 million thumbs down. Yes, yes, yes. See them. Thank you. This is a crazy breakdown Breaking, breaking Bye. ស្រូវតែរសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសារសា� Thank you. Bye. It's your Friday flashback. Crazy Frog, Axel F. It was the number one song in New Zealand this very week in 2005.

Do you know, there was some controversy with that. There's a whole massive controversy section on the Crazy Frog, Axel F. Wikipedia segment. Let's make it a six-part podcast. It would actually probably be fitting for a podcast series. The craziness behind Crazy Frog. In 2005, viewers submitted a number of complaints to the UK's advertising standards regarding

Jamster's advertising campaign complaining that Crazy Frog appeared to have a visible penis and scrotum. He did have a little diddle. He did though. He did a little diddle. And then also, Jamster was, back in the day, used to buy ringtones, which, like, saying out loud now sounds crazy, but people were paying $6 for ringtones, like that sort of thing.

I bought a Nelly Furtado one. Which one? I'm Like a Bird. Man Eater. Was that on the pink Motorola V? Yeah, the Razr. Yeah, the Razr. So my pink Razr was like, she's a man eater.

So apparently they would have an ad in the UK and it would play that song, Crazy Frog, and the intensity of the advertising was unprecedented in TV history. They bought 73,500 ads. And so people were hearing on average the ad 2,500 times a day across TV stations. And so they complained about that as well. You're welcome. They had a whole lot of number ones, that mobile phone company.

Right. Because they just hear these super catchy songs and buy them like immediately. And then like you're saying, when it's been advertised that much, it's impossible to avoid. Or they just kind of like tapped into how to write like catchy songs that kids would love and parents would hate. But then people would put them on their ringtones. They had another one called Schnoffel the Rabbit. Right.

Who sung the crucial song. And that got like platinum certified. So obviously feedback for this Friday flashback would be just out of the park. Well, you're banging my eight-month-old daughter loves it. Who knew? I'm so sorry for doing that to you. My kids freaking love you. That's great because Uncle Fletch also loves kids.

Loves babysitting. We still have the Now CD in our car with this song on it. What would that have been? Now, that's what I call music. 8,000. Somebody said that definitely got me working to the churns on the building site. So there you go. A little bit of productivity for the nation.

Was that on the Makita? That would have been loud on the Makita. Yeah. I woke up every 45 minutes to my son last night who had a terrible night's sleep. I'd rather endure that again than listen to that song one more time in my life. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Do you want to know what was on Now That's. I'd rather endure that again than listen to that song one more time in my life. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Do you want to know what was on Now That's What I Call Music 18 that Crazy Frog was on?

Go on. Akon Lonely. Rich Girl, Gwen Stefani. Don't Funk With My Heart. Black Eyed Peas. Switch, Will Smith. Usher Caught Up. Destiny's Child, Girl.

I told you the mid-2000s. Kelly Clarkson, Behind These Hazel Eyes. It was weird. Yeah. And Fast Crew. He could have played any one of those songs too. And I chose the best. The best.

Great. People are loving it. People are hating it. But, you know. Yeah. Polarizing. And if I've learned anything from my time in broadcast media, that makes you a great broadcaster.

A polarizing opinion. That'll get everybody wound up. Even if you don't believe it? Even if you don't believe it. Okay, you're right. Even if you're just stuck in the fire. Interesting. Okay. Even if you're just out there. But what if that causes harm to people? Who cares? Who cares?

Okay, we've got the greatest Friday jams of all time. And I can confirm Crazy Frog not in there. They kick off from nine this morning. Oh, I'm talking now. Yeah. Go, Vaughan, go.

You can do this. I believe in you. So this morning, don't let it get to you. Don't look down. Don't look down. It's just a standard morning. Get up, I shower. You guys don't shower before work.

You go, gross. That's what you smell. I shower. I walk into the kitchen. I grab the same glass every time. And work. You go, gross. That's what you smell. I shower. I walk into the kitchen. I grab the same glass every time. And I'm sitting out, baby. I'm having my morning Barocca. Warm water because it dissolves quicker.

And it's actually quite a nice warm drink. This is not sponsored by Barocca's segment of the show. Okay. Would you ever go to one of those other brands? Absolutely not. Why not? It's the same stuff. I don't know.

He's brandest. Brandest. Brand alignment. My little green tube. Always orange flavour too. Never orange and mango and your berry can get stuffed. Orange and mango is the best. No.

It is. Straight orange. Original Barocca for me. Okay. So I'm making my Barocca. I'm in La La Land and I put it up to my- What time is this? 4.40? Okay. I put it up to my- What time is this? 4?

4.40? Okay. I put it up to my- That's what I leave my house. I know, same. You live further than me. I sit down and watch last night's My Sky episode of Shortland Street at this stage. No hurry.

So I take a sip and that's when I realise I haven't made a Barocca at all. I've poured myself a whiskey. Has it been a hard week, mate? So I had walked to the fridge, and I'd pushed the thing, and it had ice in it. And then I'd got the whiskey bottle out, and I'd like pop the cork, and I'd poured a whiskey. Oh, la, la, la, la, just thinking about something else. And then I go, that's not what brocker tastes like.

Or that's the first time my brain's like hey hey hey that's a great idea but we've got to go to work we said that later and I was like

oh my god what do I do with this now I put it in the freezer you'll be pleased after a little sip just a little

hit the lips I was like that could disappear quite easily but it didn't I put it in the freezer for later. I poured myself a whiskey on autopilot.

I know it's Friday. 4.40 in the morning. Yeah. That is bad. 4.40 is the new 4.20, but for whiskey. Yeah. But yeah, I poured my, and I was just like, oh no. Is this a sign?

Like, is this my subconscious way of saying, hey, we need to pull back a little on that drink? Or don't go to work today. That could have happened. Too many days in lockdown. Yeah, I don't know. But yeah, full autopilot. I poured myself a whiskey rather than making myself a Barocca. So I want to know, like, what whoopsie days has you made on autopilot?

You know, sometimes you're just driving and you're like, I'm at my old house. Yes, yes. I don't live here. on autopilot. You know sometimes you're just driving and you're like, I'm at my old house. Yes. Yes. I don't live here. What am I? Hi person. Bye. Someone's like,

guys in the driveway again. So yeah, I just want to know when you were on autopilot, like what mistakes have you made? It could be a work mistake. It could be ending up

somewhere. Or like thinking it's mouthwash but it's, I don't know, whatever is X of the mouthwash. Yeah. Contact solution. Yeah. Squirt that in there. Maybe put your contact lenses in some mouthwash.

I just want to know like the mistakes you've made when you're on autopilot. Do you need to feel better about your early morning autopilot mistake? Well, I don't know if anybody's going to be like, yeah, I poured myself a scotch and I meant to... A lovely, a lovely single malt. I meant to get myself a little bit of a... But I poured myself a little bit of a... Drink.

Okay, 0800DARLSATM, you can text in as well, 9696. The mistakes you've made on autopilot. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan Thank you for all of those Who are concerned about Vaughan This morning After instead of making His daily Barocca

Poured a whiskey Concern is warranted And Avalor too I'm really looking forward to It's going to be staring me in the face When I get home from work today Because it's poured It's got ice in it

It's sitting in the freezer It's going to be Serious and delicious We want to know What you've done on autopilot You know You were up It was 4.30 in the freezer. It's going to be syrupy and delicious. We want to know what you've done on autopilot. You know, you were up, it was 4.30 in the morning.

Yeah. 4.40. Yeah. Just made myself a whiskey rather than a Barocca. Yeah. Like I always do. I always make myself

a whiskey too, so I guess it was just a time confusion. Yeah. We want to know the mistakes you've made on autopilot. You just kind of,

you know, you drive somewhere and you get there and you're like, I don't remember driving here. Oh, all the time. It's and you get there and you're like, I don't remember driving here. Oh, all the time. It's every day when I get home. Yeah.

I don't remember this. How did I get home today? Yeah. I know I'm in a car. I always do that on road trips. I'm like, oh, we're in Taupo already. Don't remember the last hour.

That highway hypnosis. Yeah. I was supposed to do that. That's what it's called. Yeah. So just the mistakes you've made, the mix-ups,

the autopilot mistakes. Somebody said they were making their daughter a bowl of cereal and put the cereal in and then filled it up with wine. Oh, yummy. And the daughter was like, I don't think that's supposed to be in the cereal. And that's when I realised that I'd done it. Imagine, I'm just trying to think what a Chardonnay would be like with Froot Loops. You'd go like a Pinot Gris, wouldn't you?

They'd be sweet on. They'd be sweet on. You know what would be great with Coco Pops? Oh, my God. Kylie McNuggy's Rosé. Yes. I saw it yesterday at the supermarket. Price check, $20 a bottle.

Oh, finally. I had actually had someone message me saying, if you love Kylie McNugget's Rosé, you're going to love Sarah Jessica Parker's Rosé. And I said, no. It doesn't have the same funny ring to it, does it? Can't say her name, silly, can I? I'm settling down to another lovely chilled glass of Kylie McNugget's Rosé.

Gina, what was your mistake on autopilot? Lovely chilled glass of Kylie McNugget. Rosé. Rosé. Gina, what was your mistake on autopilot? Hey, team. It wasn't actually me. It was my great aunt. Yeah. So, you know how old ladies get their hair set? Yeah.

Yeah. What do you mean set? Like in the coolers? Like a perm or like... Yeah, well, they get their hair set like, you know, like every week and then it gets washed at the hairdressers and then it gets a reset. Yeah.

You know? And then they spray it and it stays there like that, right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it kind of does, but they need to get like, they need to re-spray just a couple of days, you know, afterwards so it's really held in place. Yep.

Well, she went to spray it with her hairspray and it accidentally picked up the fly spray. Oh, no. And so she was getting out to a family event and obviously she was like, oh, I wonder what I do. But she just hairsprayed over it, but it had this weird cast to it. Well, no mosquito problem either. She would have gone absolutely bug free for the evening.

Well, you know, she could have been like love and life, but instead it was hilarious with this like dark hair I'm still going to be bug free for the evening. Well, you know, she should have been like love and life, but instead it was hilarious with this like dark hair and this white weird cast. So it kind of makes your hair go white. Didn't know that. Yeah. I think it was just on all the other products, you know, because I think it's an old lady problem, guys.

Oh, yeah, right. Okay. Yeah, young people still weren't using hairspray? Nah. Yeah. Right. Yeah, we've got to't using hairspray? Nah. Yeah. Right. Yeah, we've got to set those locks in place, Bourne, just because you don't have locks.

Well, I've got hairspray on today. Do you? Could you use hairspray on your moustache? No, I use sort of a moustache wax. Okay. But my mum used to spray the hairspray and it would go, like, crunchy. Her hair would go crunchy. She's spraying too much, mate.

It's because it's too much. Oh, Christine overdid it, didn't she? Actually, Vaughan, what you need to do is get a nice little brush, put a little bit of hairspray on that, and then run that through your hair. I've done that before. Have you been paying attention before? But it goes crunchy. I don't like it. Oh, it's because it's too much hairspray then.

Okay. Okay, you may be just less on the brush. Thanks, Jenna. Thanks for this. Great science fashion tips. Yeah. Bryce, what did you do on autopilot? G'day, team.

Morning. I'm a builder in Christchurch. Oh, do you have one of those builder, you know, those tradie radios? Yeah, yeah, the Makita radios. Oh, yeah. See, I told you. Yeah, it's a good quality. Yeah, got a couple of those. Yeah, good. See, I told you. Yeah, it's a good quality. Yeah, got a couple of those.

Yeah, good. And so I was pretty tired one morning. Did some early shifts. And we were chucking in the windows one day. Yep. And I chucked in a couple upside down without knowing. Just because you're on autopilot? Just on autopilot.

And done it a hundred times. So when you went to open it, it's like a top. It goes down from the top. Yeah, so by you went to open it, it's like a top. It goes down from the top. Yeah, so by the end of the day, it's getting pretty hot, so I cracked a few windows and I couldn't find the handle. I looked up and it was at the top. Oh, no. Was it easy to re-put them around?

Yeah, luckily we just put them on. What do you call that? Rotate? Yeah. Luckily we just put them on, so you just take a few screws out and switch it around. It could be designer, though, having upside-down windows, couldn't it? Yeah. It could be the new trend.

You could have started something. But then, like, you know how windows open like that from the top out? It stops rain coming in, but what you've effectively done is turned the house into a funnel. Yeah. Brilliant. Bryce, thank you. Beverly, Bev, what was your mistake on autopilot?

So I used nail polish remover instead of eye makeup remover once. Oh, God. Oh, no. Are you blind or visually impaired now? No, I'm surprisingly survived. God, you're lucky. However, I did have really red panda eyes for the remainder of the weekend. Wow.

That's a look, though. Yeah, it was. Brilliant. Thanks for your call, Sam. Everyone's like, jeez, Bev's had some rough work done. Yeah, like a peeler, like a skin peel. Bev, thanks for your call. Some messages in.

A friend of mine came over for a cuppa. I made her a bottle of formula, popped it in front of her, and she was like, I don't want that. And I was like, oh, jeez, I'm sorry about that. I'm just so used to making formula. Put the dog biscuits in a bowl, covered them with milk, sat down, had one mouthful, and was like, these are not human biscuits. This is not cereal.

Wow. I was making my packed lunch, didn't take the wrapper off the cheese, the individually wrapped bit into my sandwich, and I was like, what have I got in here? And it was just a plastic-wrapped piece of cheese. I'd been looking for my glasses for 15 minutes, only to realize I had them on. Oh.

And, yeah, apparently I'd just fallen asleep with my glasses on, so when I had them on. And yeah, apparently I'd just fallen asleep with my glasses on, so when I woke up and they were on, I was like, better put my glasses on, and I couldn't find them, but I also had blurry vision because it was just early in the morning. My kids stopped at daycare. They finished at daycare three years ago,

but some mornings on the drive to school, I'll pull into the daycare car park and I'll be like, and they'll be like, ma'am, we're at the wrong place. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- particular dimorphous expression in particular dimorphous expression is where your external actions or expressions don't match what you're feeling inside and the best example of it is cute aggression ever see something so cute it makes you want to punch something you look or squeeze it or like you see a really cute dog and you're like oh my god well like when people say

they want to eat your child yeah oh my god you Oh, my God, you're so cute. I want to eat you. And it's like this weird, like, look at this. I'll show you a picture of a puppy. Yeah. See? That's like, I'm going to bite that. Like, that's a dimorphous expression because you're feeling one thing, but it comes out a little bit differently.

Okay. Okay. So it's been studied. It's been recognized as like an official human condition. Would bitchy resting face come under this umbrella? Well, it's a dimorphous expression. You might be expressing bitchiness, but you're just like thinking.

Yeah, I could be thinking about... You're in La La Land, but your face is like... So you look like... This is my life. Yeah. So about 50 to 60%. If this is like...

I don't know what you're talking about. I never see something so cute. It makes me want to explode. Well, you know, is it Agnes in the Despicable Me movies? She's like, as I kill him, I'm gonna die! That's cute aggression.

50-60% of people act in a mock aggressive way when confronted with something unbearably cute. I think that's me. Psychologists who have studied it don't yet know whether those who can't feel cute aggression simply don't have as intensely emotional experiences or if they have other ways of expressing themselves.

Huh. Yeah, fascinating. I've never seen you see anything so cute you're like, you don't react that way. Me. You're just like, oh, that's cute. Yeah. No, not really. No.

If you do experience cute aggression, research shows you're also more likely to be a person who cries at a wedding. Oh, well, that's not really. No. If you do experience cute aggression, research shows you're also more likely to be a person who cries at a wedding. Oh, well, that's not Fletch. No. God, weddings are a drain on my money. And half of the people at the weddings I've been to have ended in divorce. They owe me. That's the roll of the dice, though.

Yeah, that's the roll of the dice. So there's a recipe for cuteness as well when they looked into it and they studied people with these dimorphous expressions. Kinder Schema. And it's a German word. Kinder, meaning chocolate egg. Chocolate egg. Chocolate egg with a plastic toy inside it. No meaning like children.

And schema, meaning like the setup. That's where the word kindergarten comes from, isn't it? Yeah, children's garden. Yeah. It's a German word. Rounded cheeks, big eyes, a large forehead, a small chin and a small nose. Okay.

That's pretty much describing your child. Fits those categories. Yeah, okay. What does that mean? So when we see something that has these characteristics, we have an urge to behave in the same way we would. You know, that's why I lose it when I say minions. 100%.

Rounded cheeks, big eyes, large forehead, small or non-existent chin and a little nose. Don't even have a nose, it's so small. I know. That's why I get really excited when Jared, producer Jared comes to work in his yellow hoodie and his dungarees. He looks like a minion. He's got rounded cheeks, big eyes, a large forehead,

a small chin and a small nose. So we act like we would around, you know, babies. The nature inside us wants to protect it, care for it, be close to it and provide for it. And we get aggressive because of our protection. We're like... How come you don't want to eat Bastion up? It's not a minion.

Paint him yellow and get him some dungarees. I reckon that'll be the absolute trick. So today's fact of the day is when you feel... When you see something so cute, it makes you angry. That is cute aggression and a great example of dimorphous expression. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. CDM's Fletchborn and Megan. ZDM Open.

Fletchborn and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to a segment of the show we like to call Community Notices. And this is your segment. You find all these weird and wonderful postings on your local Facebook page. I'm talking to the listener. Oh, well, don't look at me when you're talking to them. How do you address them directly in the future?

Listener, this is your segment. It's all the things you see on your local Facebook page. Screenshot them, send them to us, FVMZM. Yeah. This one from the

Onehunga Wontree Hill Royal Oak Community Group. That's a big area. Yeah. Maybe you guys should break off and have one each. You probably do have one each. Well, they've scribbled out the name of whoever sent it in,

but it says whoever's singing badly for the last two hours in the area, you're making this lockdown seem much longer and much worse for everybody. Oh, imagine if that's how you found out. Yeah. And you were just thinking you're having a good time. You're lifting your spirits in level three. Yeah. Someone's taking it online.

I mean, taking your look for love, looking for love online, it's nothing new. But looking for love publicly in the local Facebook page, well, that's happening in Torbay on the North Shore. Looking for love. 38. Whenever it says year old in Torbay on the North Shore. Looking for love. 38. Whenever it says year old, I always think yo-yo. 38 yo-yos.

Looking for love. 38-year-old Kiwi guy. Okay. Got a six-year-old daughter. Okay. That's all. That's all it says. That's all it says.

Oh, no, you do that on there's a place, a forum for that. It's called Tinder. Yeah. Or Bumble or whatever you use. Did they hit enter too early? Posted it too quick. Did they know that there was nothing to reel you in, was there? There's nothing more in the comments section.

You know how sometimes they'll pop some more in the comments section? Yep. You've like, hmm, my interest has been piqued. Let's learn more about this 38-year-old yo-yo. From the Nelson Snippets page. Oh, okay. Anonymous. To the metalhead of my dreams, who was

at the Nelson Museum in August. If you're single, I want your number. This is a metal head. The metal head of my dreams? Yeah. Were they wearing like a metal t-shirt? You're very tall. Metal heads, they have to be tall. You've got long brown

hair down to your butt. Okay. That's nightmarishly long. Yeah. A cool moustache, and you're wearing an Iron Maiden shirt. How about girl out snippets? Why don't you always sit on your hair for a second? Someone tagged in Lou.

Oh, yeah. Were you there, Lou? Lou said, I'm not a dream, I'm a nightmare. Nightmare. So it might be Lou. Yeah, maybe. It might be Lou. Wow.

I don't know. I'd love to know if there's any follow-up there on the loves. Yeah. Lou probably listens because while Lou wears the Iron Maiden shirt and will be like, rock and roll, wish it Satan. He's probably like, just in the mood for some Olivia Rodrigo. When are they playing Doja Cat? Yeah, I just love the remix.

This one comes from the Beach Haven and Birkdale community Apologies to the man I hit in the face today with my crust on Ringatina Road I will never throw my food from my car window again Even though the chances of someone having being there, window open, driving

the opposite way at around 25km an hour and being hit square in the face is one in a million. Yeah, you could try to do that again a million times. It wouldn't work. Crust out the window and went in another person's window and smacked them straight in the face. No words if it was a pizza crust or a sandwich crust.

I'm imagining pizza. Yeah. A little more to throw in a pizza crust, you know. Yeah. But yeah, sorry, dude. Might buy a lotto ticket. I'd say sorry, dude. Might buy a lotto ticket. I'd say to everybody, don't buy a lotto ticket because it's up to $14 million.

What a big animal. Is it? Oh, okay. Yeah. For sale. A roto to a buy sale. Do you want me to wrap it up? Yeah.

Do you remember the five times before we did this segment where I said to you, watch the time? But then you didn't say a time. You didn't tell me a time I needed to be out by. What else did I say, Megan? Pick like the best three. You said, I didn't hear that part. Oh, my God.

How many times did I say that? At least a couple. Yeah. And henceforth ends today's chapter of Community Notices. Thank you. If you see something on your local Facebook page, screencap it and send it to us, FEMZM on Facebook. Thanks, please, thank you.

Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Friday, thus, well, still level three, so no partying for me. You know how much I love my partying. Yeah. It's been level three and four has been a real tax on your party much I love my partying. Yeah. It's been level three and four. It's been a real tax on your party life, hasn't it? On my social life. Yeah. For a social butterfly like me, out every Friday night at the club.

If you're outside of Auckland, just feel for Vaughan tonight. Stuck at home. Yeah. The social butterfly that is. Have to stay at home. Yeah. What a shame for me. But Friday night, fortnight with the lads, but we've got a new to stay at home. Yeah. What a shame for me. But Friday night,

Fortnite with the lads, but we've got a new addition to the team. Okay. This is a tradition. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's kind of a little bit of like a bit of a therapy group too.

Okay. You know, we get stuff off our chest if something's weighing on our minds. Yeah. You know, open up, have a chat.

But there's a new member of the team, Indie, my nine-year-old daughter, who I think might be the best person to play Fortnite with. I think you're going to talk about the lady. Who's the lady that you don't know? Belinda. Lady? But you don't know her.

The lady. It's Lady Belinda. Who's the lady? Australian Belinda. Who we know nothing about. They're all getting catfished by this. We're not getting catfished. Old dude Belinda. We don't want anything from her. If it's an old dude, we don't know nothing about. They're all getting catfished by this. We're not getting catfished. Old dude Belinda.

We don't want anything from her. It's an old dude. We don't care. It's just a good player on the team. Suddenly Belinda's going to be like, Guys, I'm in trouble. I need $500. I'll be like,

Oh, you're a shit out of luck, Belinda. Here's a med kit and a small shield. Get out of the storm. Right. Fortnite reference. Because you just play with this lady. Friday nights only. And she's in.

We're just saying lady. She's a bitch, isn't she? I'm thinking of that grandmother that plays with her. She's a professional gamer now. With her son. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, the mum in the UK. How old's Blinda?

I don't know. We don't know anything about her. I've told you, you need to ask her things. Danger online. No, because then it's creepy because we all know each other and then she'll be like, whoa. No, but she's like, these group of guys don't ask me anything about myself. Well, we say, how's it all going?

We know she's in Brisbane and she's a teacher. That's all we know because she's talked about lockdown and stuff. Are you like, how's lockdown going? How's school? Yeah, how are the kids and that? Okay, so there is small talk happening. Yeah, yeah. She's got kids.

Oh, she's a teacher. Right, okay. She's a teacher. But there's another female in the midst now, my daughter, who is just wonderful to play Fortnite with.

There's no bravado. There's none of that alpha male carry on. Toxic masculinity. Yeah, stay with me. I've got a shotgun. That sort of stuff. She's like,

Dad, I can see your shields are down. I've been stacking big shields. Here, top up. We need to top up before the next confrontation. I'm like, this is awesome. And then she's like, I'll wait here. You go up there and I'll chuck you a med kit if I need it.

She's just. Wow. Okay. You know, you can see why now these real life soldiers have a medic. Yeah. Yeah. You can see how handy it is. Has it just dawned on you how handy it would be to have a medic in the field?

So handy. Yeah. So handy. Yeah. So handy. No ego, no nothing. Just, you know, really playing as part of the team. Yeah. And I think the other guys we play with could learn a lot from her. Yeah.

Her selflessness. We could all learn a lot. The children of the future. Yeah. Are you still going to be able to do your therapy sessions? Oh, she'll only play and then she'll go to bed after. She'll go to bed. Let's put like a nine o'clock

on her and then therapy session with her. How does Belinda feel when you're talking about your balls and it's therapy session? No, it's not like our balls.

It's not talking about like our physical ailments. Do you think they're all just like, how are they? If we had a question about balls, our balls, I think we wouldn't

put it with Belinda there. She wouldn't know us and that might make her feel uncomfortable. I'd like to know more about Belinda. I She wouldn't know us. It might make her feel uncomfortable. I'd like to know more about Belinda. This is very fishy. Well, one time Callum said, for all we know, Belinda might be in a wheelchair. And Belinda didn't say, yes, I am or no, I'm not.

So then we were like, would you say, I am or no, I'm not? Because he was just throwing out a hypothetical, you see. Right. Okay. Was she concentrating? She didn't answer. Right. I mean, it wasn't a direct question, was it? It was like a hypothetical, you see. Right, okay. Was she concentrating? She didn't answer. Right. I mean, it wasn't a direct question, was it?

It was like a rhetorical statement. Ask her now to follow up today and ask her if she's got steps up to her house or a ramp. You can't ask that. Hey, Belinda, how's lockdown? Oh, you know, we're doing pretty well in Queensland. Do you have stairs to your house or a ramp? That's creepy. That's like, I'm in a wheelchair, but I want to sneak into her house.

Yeah, describe your entranceway to us. No, don't. Where do you put your spare key? Even how describe your entranceway to us could be misconstrued.