ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 25th August 2021

Episode Date: August 24, 2021

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The ZM Podcast Network. Clay. ZM's Fleeche, Vaughn and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughn and Megan podcast. And yesterday we left you really mid cliffhanger. Vaughn had clicked on one of those absolute clickbaity links that drag you in and make you watch slide after slide after slide. But it was bananas.

I think I was 35 pages in and Terry and Anna were still just talking about every single... It's like when you go to do a recipe and we're in lockdown so you might be searching for recipes and you're like, oh, here's the recipe I want.

Oh, I know. And you click on it and it's like, my great-grandpapa used to say that feathers weigh as much as bricks if you've got enough of them. Now here's a story about my great-grandpappy. But don't they do that to get away from copyright? So the more script on the page that's different to others,

it stops them from copying recipes. I had no idea. Because I do wonder that food bloggers start yarning on about their bloody life story. I don't give a shit. Give me this cookie recipe immediately My Auntie Lynn Was a very proficient lady That's just this whole story about

He went to war So the necklace For those that maybe have forgotten Yesterday's cliffhanger There was a story Terry Terry's a boy And he made his girlfriend a necklace.

Now, it was wooden, and it had, like, a little shell in it. She wore it around for two years, not every day, because she admitted it was nice and it was handmade, but it's not, like, her idea of everyday wear. Yeah. So then when they were in Scotland, he said, can I borrow your necklace? This was years after she'd been given it And he breaks it open

And all along All inside Had been A poo He shat in it And it was a long play gag And I'm here for it No

It was an engagement ring Obviously Obviously it was an engagement ring Oh wow Okay He put the engagement ring in And she'd it was an engagement ring. Oh, wow. Okay. He put the engagement ring in and she'd been wearing it around her neck for two years. Now, what would happen if she'd lost it? Hey, that's risky business.

Well, you'd just claim insurance, wouldn't you? What would have happened? Yeah, because I guess he'd kept the receipt somewhere. Yeah, if it had been stolen or it had broken open halfway along the thing. What if he decided he didn't want to do it anymore? I know. Yeah, we're breaking up. Can I have that wood back?

Especially if it was tacky because would you accidentally lose it so you didn't have to wear it? Yeah. Or you'd just keep it in a jewellery box? No, I'd probably keep it in a jewellery box. Yeah, because it was like a heartfelt gift or something. But then imagine that you make this gift and then he's like two years later, oh, can you go grab that thing that you don't wear because it's ugly

and you've just kept in a box? Yeah. And then you'd feel bad on your special day. You would feel bad. Quite a nice ring. Was it? But also has become one of those super famous clickbaity things. Like I heard from people being like, yes, I did this.

Now, if you ever, it's the same with if you ever see somebody who's like, what happened to that person from that show you loved in the 90s just google don't click through it just google their name in 2021 and we'll show you a photo from 2021 if you can we've got to beat these people we've got to smack them on the hand and tell them to stop naughty thanks rachel good, welcome to the show Fleetspawn and Megan on a Wednesday during Level 4 lockdown that feels like it should be at least Thursday I thought yesterday was Wednesday so

When you get drunk every night, every day's a Friday You wake up, you're like is it Saturday? And then you're like no it's a weekday And then at the end of the day you're like Friday Good on you for getting drunk at night, at least You wake up, you're like, is it Saturday? And then you're like, no, it's a weekday. And then at the end of the day, you're like, Friday. Good on you for getting drunk at night, at least. Because you get home early. I know, I've kept myself pretty busy during the day.

But it gets to like, well, actually yesterday, it delayed me. But it was like 4.30 and I said, well, I've got a choice here. It's a coffee or a drink. So I actually had a coffee, I thought that was pretty grown up. Did you see the stat about how much we spent on the eve of lockdown? Oh, you don't even tell me. I saw the lines.

Like booze wise? Yeah. There was an increase of 500% on the eve of Alert Level 4. We're stocking up, right? Yeah. I mean, obviously, food was part of that as well. But yeah, we bought the booze as well. Nationwide liquor sales increased 473% on the previous Tuesday.

Wow. Previous Tuesday. Compare it to a day that people are usually buying alcohol, I reckon. Yeah. And do you know the highest? So compare it to a day that people are usually buying alcohol, I reckon. Yeah. And do you know the highest? Palmerston North, alcohol sales increased by 716%. Whoa. I'll give you one of these. That was the highest out of the whole country.

Wow. Good Lord. Yeah. Good gracious me. Goodness me. Good gracious me. Goodness me. Goodness gracious me. Coming up on the show, the top six. The top six lies are the top six secrets you can tell your pets.

Apparently, people are more likely to confide in their pets than their partners when it comes to secrets. That's weird. Like, I'd never say to my cat, I've got a secret. I just need to tell someone. I need to get this off my chest. Neither would I. Like, it's a cat.

Come on. But that's why you're getting it off your chest, right? But without judgment and without, yeah. Telling someone who has the ability to dub you in. All right, so what? You've got the top six. Yeah, secrets. You can tell your pet. You can tell your pet.

ZDM, Splashbone and Megan. All relationships involve arguments and there's probably a few more happening at the moment in lockdown because, you know, you're in each other's space all the time. Well, yeah, on the show this morning, just before 8 o'clock, friend of the show, sexologist,

trainee sexologist, Morgan Penn, she'll be joining us with some tips. Right, so is she locked down with her partner? No. Oh, then I won't be listening to her. It's easy to sit up in your ivory tower of not being with your partner in lockdown and throw crumbs of advice down to those who are. You look like you're in the pits.

You look like you've had a few arguments, have you? Oh, yeah. But no, yeah. No more than usual. Just the normal. Just the normal. So apparently arguing with your partner during lockdown could actually make your relationship better because it's not

how much you argue, it's how quickly it's resolved. John Gottman, he is a professor at the University of Washington. He has said that there is strategies that you can adopt to make sure that your relationship grows as opposed to resenting each other after arguments. Right.

So apparently you need to start positively and say things that are nice about your partner as well as your issue. Like a critique sandwich. like a critique sandwich like i am positive you're an effing idiot and i'm almost almost positive you are i actually am positive you're wrong so he's given a ratio he said the positive qualities about your partner should outnumber negative comments by a ratio of one to five but you're it's five positives to one, this is my issue. But that's like reading comments on Facebook. You know, there could be a thousand nice comments, but it takes one. But it's

human nature. It's human nature to be drawn to the negative. As a woman here, I'm willing to admit that you could say five nice things about me and whatever the one negative was, I'm going to hold on to that forever. Yeah. It doesn't exactly.

That's why we pepper you with, like, negs, so that you can't focus on one in particular. We just like to bring you down fully. Yeah. So there's no... We pepper you with negs. Like, think of one specific one. You can't.

Yeah, okay. You can't. Maybe you're onto something here. You pepper them with necks and... Right. And then they can't focus on one particular one. Yeah, right. Okay. Acknowledge your role in maintaining the discord

and creating your own distress. So basically he's saying that there's not one person to blame for the argument. You are to blame as well. No, I think it's the person who's wrong, isn't it? And that's why you fight tooth and nail to not be that person. Keep to the issues.

This is difficult. Don't descend to name calling or insulting, but that helps when you want to get your point across. But don't do that because then even after the argument, everyone's going to feel a bit of resentment. Then what if you get to the dishwasher and she's done it wrong again? Oh, no, I just do it. How?

I make noises while I'm doing it. Like, oh, my God. No. That sort of felt tough. Right. But you're saying that Vaughn should give her like Four nice things qualities That was five to one

Five nice things Like oh you know Delicious dinner Man it's good to see you using all the pots Yep We own them We might as well use them That's a good one

That was a positive I'm pretty sure That's a good one. That was a positive? Huh? That sounded condescending. I'm pretty sure it's a positive. Yeah. You look so comfortable on the couch. Let me take care of the world of dishes. Oh, well, only six hours till I've got to be up again.

What time are you waking up tomorrow? And, wow. You sound positive. The amount of money you spend on hairdos sure is worth it. You look fantastic. There's five. Why are you so shit at stacking a dishwasher? Yeah, and there's your negative.

I'm telling you, pepper with negs, and they'll not be able to focus on one. Okay. It's like throwing one piece of glitter. Yeah. A whole lot of glitter? Oh, yeah, it looks pretty, doesn't it? They can't focus on one glitter.

Hey, I mean, you've been married for a long time. I'm telling you, it works both ways too. It's reciprocal. Stockholm syndrome. Next on the show, there's a new food item or some new flavours. Yeah. Just what we need in lockdown, some some new flavours. Yeah. Just what we need in lockdown. Some new chip flavours.

Combining two of our favourite things. Chips and the other favourite thing. Here we go. Heartland potato chips. The pride of Timaru. The savoury pride of Timaru. Because I think Den Heath Custard Squares are the absolute pride of Timaru

Good food coming out of the roo Is that your mouth salivating? Is that the Diamond Pasta Factory? Do they not have that anymore? Diamond Pasta Factory Sri Lanka. Oh, no, that's the equipment provider. Diamond Meals.

Meals. This was Christine's rice risotto brand of choice, by the way. The blue box. We had that growing up. Yeah, it was a classic. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. It wasn't until the 1970s that popularity of pasta began to grow. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I should go on Google Maps and Google Diamond Pasta Factory. Yeah, Diamond was initially established by the Timaru Milling Company as an oats and flour brand. Right. Now, Diamond... Why does it keep taking me to Sri Lanka?

Anyway, I don't know. But they don't measure up on the pride of Timaru. Den Heats, delicious desserts and Heartland chips. People from Timaru, very, very proud of the Heartland chips. I remember we had Heartland chips in Auckland and Captain Pat, that's his nickname, Sam, a friend, would say, I'm coming up. Do you want me to bring Heartland Chips? I'm like, nah, we've got

them here. And he'd still bring some up anyway. They're so proud. They love, they love. I think it's so that when Aucklanders go to see them, they can be like, can you bring us some donuts? Donuts, yeah. From the airport. You're like, do you guys not have donuts? No, we don't have donuts.

We don't have donuts. So Heartland Chips have released some new flavors, and they're alcoholic. Not alcoholic, but alcohol-inspired. Yeah, I think we call it flavored. Nah. We crush them up. We snort lines of them.

We get a little kick Flavour number uno Okay Gin, lemon and thyme Tangy How's that gonna taste? Oh my god I would so be into that

It's a tangy That's what I thought A lemon and thyme There's three flavours And I think one's the Fletch One's the Vaughan One's the Megan Is that the Megan?

That's the Megan Even though I know you love a lemon Yeah I do love a lemon You wait baby Because the flavour that's coming next is the Fletch. I love thyme too. So Jim Lemon and thyme, I can imagine that would be refreshing, zesty. The Fletch. Oopsie, I skipped the Fletch and went straight to the Vaughan.

As people often do. Wow. Margarita Salsa. Oh, yeah. This is the you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the U. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can see you really tucking in. Do you love a margie?

Love a margie. How are these going to taste in chip form? Do you remember that Lamington chip? That was a disaster. That was a disaster. This one's... If only we had a box to try. Okay, there's a bit...

Behind the scenes, it's a sticking point. Kate effing Hawksby has a box of them at reception. Has she picked that up? She's not coming into work anytime soon. She is. She is. She's in here every day. She walks past the box.

Oh, well, she's had her time. I think she's had her chance. Should we message her? We should just open them. But she's the kind of person that would press charges against us lefties for opening her mail. Yeah, she would. I'm going to message her. Are you going to eat those chippies at reception?

Yeah, otherwise we'll open them and try them. Okay. No, it's got potatoes in it. Her and Mike don't do potatoes. Absolutely. They don't do starchy carbs. They do dust. Dust carbs.

Dust and gin. Dust and gin carbs. So, yeah, margarita salsa. Okay. That's like tomato and lime. Oh, yeah, Oh, yeah. Sort of flavouring. So you can imagine that would be real yum. That almost sounds like a spicy mancho.

Tomato mancho. You know, I love those. With a zangy lime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With a zangy, zangy lime. Yum. And the Vaughan of the flavours, bourbon barbecue. So it's barbecue chips.

Yum. And with a little... Okay. A little... Right. A little. Right. I can't imagine there's much alcohol flavour, right? No. Like it's just basically going to be a tomato flavoured chip.

Yeah, yeah. Got to be. Got to be. And the barbecue will be barbecue. Exciting though. Smokiness to it, I would imagine. But yeah, gin. This is perfect timing for lockdown.

Gin, lemon, lime, bourbon, barbecue, and margarita salsa. Do you know not to, I don't want to steal the limelight from Heartland, but do you know a chip that's fast going up my rankings is the Go on. Soda vinegar whack-a-changy. Oh, yes. It is. I reckon it's one of my top faves now.

I love a whack-a-changy. And it's not, those aren't the kind of chips I normally like, those kind of kettle fried. Wait, what are you talking about? Lee Hart's. Yeah, Lee, there. I haven't tried the other flavours. Wacka Changy's is beer.

Snacka Changy's is chips. Snacka Changy's, sorry. Yeah, the chips. Oh my God, they're so good. Anyway, we're in level four lockdown, so if you needed any more excuse to eat some chips. What did you get for snacks yesterday?

Because when you go in the supermarket, you're like, damn it, I'm getting treats. What did you get? Oh,? Because when you go in the supermarket you're like, damn it, I'm getting treats. What did you get? Oh, I got lots of treats. Biscuits. I got those salt and vinegar peas.

Do you get them peas? Oh, yeah, I love those. They're so good. They're yum. The peas, they're all in the pot. You eat the whole thing. Have you not had them?

Oh, no. Oh, my God. They're a game changer. Yes, they're so good. And there's so many different flavours too. Yeah, they're yum, the peas.

So it's healthy. Well, they're not. No, it is. Shush your face. Play ZM's F Yeah, they got the peas. Yeah, they're peas. So it's healthy. Well, they're not. No, it is. Shush your face. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. We've gone down a hole of chips. I didn't know Harvest Snaps had so many options for flavours. Oh.

Those peas, that's what they're called, the peas. And you've never had them, Megan. No, I know what you're talking about now. I thought you were mean. She was scared of too much flavour. That's what she said up there. She was scared of their flavour. I thought you were mean.

She was scared of their flavour. Actual, like, peas. No, see, they're baked peas. Like, the whole peas thing. What do you call them? Pod. The whole pod. Oh, God, they're delicious.

The salt and vinegar ones. Very good. Jared's telling us there's new snack-a-changy flavours. It's out of control, isn't it? Lee Hart is absolutely... His ears are burning right now. He loves a product mention and a plug of some Waka Changi. Every time he comes in, he'll bring a box.

He'll bring bags of chips and a box of Waka Changi. In fact, there's an urban legend. If you ever see Lee Hart without a box of Waka Changi, it's going to be a long spring. Yeah, yeah. It's like when birds take longer to migrate and they're still hanging around. It's going to be a longer hurricane season.

If you see Leigh Harwood out of box at Waka Changi, it's going to be a big hurricane season. Now, Harrispole of more than a thousand Kiwis. I believe it's pronounced Harris Poll. Harris Poll. Harris Poll. And also part of a global study has found that Kiwis are on gadgets for an average of more than five hours a day outside of work and school hours.

Gadgets. Yeah, now... I'm hearing you say gadgets. Does that include... Wow, as you'd expect, phones. The PS5s. The iPads. Yep, I guess so, yeah.

Yeah, okay. Anything that I guess is not going to make you go outside. Right. But yeah, and this is... The internet of things. Yeah. But basically, and this is quite sad, it's found that the pandemic has meant

that New Zealanders are spending longer and it's leading to increased anxiety or depression. Right. And so now we're in level four, it's just kind increased anxiety or depression. Right. And so now we're in level four. It's just kind of compounded that. So I guess I made a good time to say, heck, if you need to speak to your friends, give them a call.

Need to talk to someone. A lot of helplines and numbers that you can call. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're a social creature, you've got to have that interaction, don't you? Yeah. When friends and I had drinks at you've got to have that interaction, don't you? Yeah. When friends and I had drinks at the weekend on Zoom.

Still using Zoom? FaceTime, I mean. FaceTime. Facebook Messenger. That's Messenger. That's different to FaceTime. God, mum. I don't know.

Everyone just calls it FaceTime now. My mum calls every video call you can possibly do a Skype. Oh, really? No, no one's using Skype anymore, are they? The only people I use Skype with are my mum and dad. Oh, really? But everything you call them a messenger. She's like, oh, I wasn't expecting a Skype.

You call her on FaceTime, right? Oh, I wasn't expecting a Skype. Yeah, it's a glad wrap of video calls, isn't it, really? Yeah, it is. It is for the boomers. Or the sellotape of video calls. Yeah. Even though that's a brand.

But it's become so synonymous with the product. Yeah, yeah. All right, 6.31. It doesn't matter. I think we'll be late for work. I don't think it matters. I don't think it matters. I don't really think it matters anymore.

It's only Wednesday as well. Yeah, time's irrelevant. From the majestic ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Hello there. Hello there. Now, apparently, secrets, you're more likely to tell them to your pet than your partner, your friends, or your family. Now, that's probably because they can't blab a mouth, can they?

No, they can't. These pets of ours. So that makes sense. You get it off your chest. You say it out loud. You probably feel a little bit better. It's looking at you like, is it time to eat? But you're misinterpreting its look as a, it's okay.

You can tell me anything. So a study asked American pet owners, and it found that 62% of people would rather tell all their secrets to their pets than another human. Yeah, totally. But like half the time, they don't look like they're listening. And then like what if they toddle off halfway through the confession? You're like, oh.

You're an awful person if an animal toddles off mid-talk and scratch. Yeah. So I've got the top six secrets you could tell your pets. Okay. And this is the lockdown edition. Yeah. Number six on the list of the top six secrets you could tell your pets in lockdown. They won't find those biscuits they're looking for because I ate them all.

Yeah, good. Let them look. Number five on the list of the top six secrets you could tell your pets in lockdown. It was me that put the milk back in the fridge with the tiniest amount left behind and I didn't write it on the list. That was definitely me. That was 100%. I did that. I did that.

Number four on the list of the top six secrets you can tell your pets. I did hear them ask me to do that job, but I didn't want to do the job, so now I'm pretending I didn't hear them ask initially for me to do that job. Okay, right. Because they were like, do you want to fold the laundry? No one wants to fold the laundry. No. So I'll pretend it didn't happen.

This list just the last five days of your life? Pretty much. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six secrets you could tell your pets in lockdown. No, I didn't. I didn't exercise. I just went down to the corner of the road,

hid in a bush, cried, and ate those biscuits that I was talking about before. It was a great spot for a biscuit eat. I'm going to go back there out of lockdown. Maybe when the weather's a little nicer. Number two on the list of the top six secrets you could tell your pets

in lockdown. Those skid marks in the toilet that everybody's been talking about for the last 15 minutes in this house. It was me. 100% mine. No one else has? Mm-hmm. It was me. 100% mine. Yeah. No one else has pooped there today. That was me doing the poop.

And number one on the list of the top six secrets you could tell your pets in lockdown. I am the Zodiac Killer, but let's keep that between me and you, diddles.

Meow. I was reading about the Zodiac Killer the other day. Nah, it's the craziest story. And they still don't... I don't know who it is. Because somebody cracked the code or they think they've Killer the other day. No, it's the crazy story. And they still don't... I don't know who it is. Because somebody

cracked the code or they think they've cracked the cipher. Yeah. And then so it got me in this whole wormhole of who are the suspects and there's no conclusive DNA

for any of them. There's a couple of really good suspects but there's still... There's like a ton of documentaries on the Zodiac Killer, right? And movies and...

Amazing movie. Robert Downey Jr. was in that movie. Was that that movie? Jake Gyllenhaal? Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yes.

But again, you don't know who it is at the end of it. No. Nobody knows apart from you and your cat. That's today's top six. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Yep, we're here. Hey, Vaughan, we're on air. Wow. We were filming a video. We were filming're here. Hey, Bourne, we're on air. Wow.

We were filming a video. We were filming a video at the fridge, weren't we? Some of us were creating content. On the show after 8 o'clock, we're going to do a thing because the supermarkets are slammed. There's a lot of issues with some stock. You might have stocked up, you might have a fridge full of stuff, but you don't know what to

do with it. Or you've just got those things in the pantry that have been there forever. And so we're going to give you the option after 8 o'clock, and this is what we were filming a video of just now in the kitchen. Tell us the weird random items in your pantry or fridge and we will combine them to give you some

recipe ideas. Because then you don't have to go to the supermarket and slam, you know, the shelves. That's my favourite game to look in the pantry and be like, how can I make this work? I was contemplating yesterday an indomie

noodle omelette. That would be different. People love a noodle omelette. A noodle omelette. Yeah. People love. Yeah. They fiend an omelette noodle. Noodle omelette. That would be different. People love a noodle omelette. A noodle omelette. Yeah. People love. Yeah. They fiend an omelette noodle. Noodle omelette.

Which one goes first? Noodle omelette. Noodle omelette. Delicious. My favourite game is opening the fridge and being like, there's nothing to eat around here. But it's full. Yeah, exactly.

So that's after eight on the show. Coming up on the show before eight o'clock, we're going to, this is about quarter to eight, we'll do this. We're going to chat to sexologist Morgan Penn about how you can keep your relationship spicy in lockdown.

Or maybe just what toys to order. Yeah, or just how to tolerate each other. Yeah. So we're going to play Audio Ninja Warrior as well on the show. But next.

We've got some, we've got a bag full of treats, don't we? Just all the stuff happening on the show. Next on the show. Are you all right? No, there was something in that fridge. I think I stood up too fast.

And then I felt a noise in the back of my head. Huh? You felt it? Wait, what? There was a noise in the back of your head? It was like a rain fade on it. Yeah, what? There was a noise in the back of your head? It was like a. Like a rain fade on it. Yeah, right.

Next on the show, one in four adults are tooting their own horn. Yeah. That sort of youth during lockdown. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. Fawn and Megan. Four minutes away from seven. Flesh just thought that break we did before was the. Seven o'clock.

It's got to that point of lockdown. I was like, you're teasing so much in the show, like well ahead of time. Yeah, it's well over an hour away. You know why? It's because we went to the kitchen and that's when we do our seven o'clock coffee. I'm making porridge in the...

Did you make the coffee? No. Oh. No. You just went to the kitchen to film something. The wheels are coming off. But it's also got to that point of lockdown where it feels like time has become slightly irrelevant.

Yeah, well, you were just saying it's, today's the 25th. Four months till Christmas. Yeah, it's the 25th of August. I've started my Christmas shopping. What else are we doing? Nothing. Just putting it off.

Fair call. Many young adults will tell you that they're a much harder working person than other generations. Right, go on. I will hear them out. One in four young adults believe they work harder than previous generations. That working harder is a hard thing to define

because there's manual labour hard and then there's feeling like you're working all the time, maybe with an e-commerce thing. Like you haven't been in a factory making parachutes for the war effort, have you? No. For hours a day. No. That's working hard.

I also wouldn't claim that I'm working harder than that generation. No, you wouldn't. Well, none of us could because we literally sit here, play Ed Sheeran songs, talk shit and that's our job. Yeah. Like farming wise, all of my family were farmers, but they'd do stuff where they'd get a whole lot of land that had just like a whole lot of scrub on it

and they'd like turn it into a farm and then they'd make their own fence posts and stuff. And now I'm just like, oh, I need something. I need a wire. I'm off to PGG to write some. But how do you define like manual labour all day like that and then sitting in a computer and draining your brain all day? Yes, the old brain, the old fatigue.

The old screen might be a bit more brain power than grunt. Yeah. It's very hard to compare. It is and I don't think we do. I don't think anyone's doing any favours to themselves or other generations when they do compare. No. We're all different. Takes all sorts. It doesn't hurt. think anyone's doing any any favors to themselves or other generations when they do compare no we're

all different takes all sorts it doesn't hurt it's no use saying you know i work harder than my grandfather did but you definitely didn't that's why i wouldn't say it that's why it's no point saying that they were both very hard-working gentlemen they were like i know i don't want to retire i never want to stop working. That's when you die. And I'm just like, I would stop tomorrow. I would, yep, I would do nothing from right now. CDM's Fletchborn and Megan.

We want to know, in this lockdown, this round of lockdown, and you know what, I'll even accept. I'm not fussy. I'll accept last lockdowns. Oh yeah, okay. The saddest thing you've eaten. The thing that you are like, maybe it was the preparation

you couldn't be bothered with so you just ate something raw or uncooked. Maybe it was the combo of what you ate that was a bit like, maybe it was the cookie dough and you didn't even make the cookies. Also, I don't know anybody

that's died from eating raw cookie dough, so I don't believe the hype. I know, they're always like, don't eat it because of salmonella dub or something. It's just the raw egg,

right? Yeah. Yeah. You can do that on a daily. Go for it. Lots of people eat raw eggs. Yeah. Yeah.

Snakes. What would be your saddest thing? I shared the cheese. I did a whole bag of cheese. You had a whole thing of cheese balls. Cheese Yeah. Yeah, snakes. What would be your saddest thing? I shared the cheese. I did a whole bag of cheese balls. Cheese balls. I don't. I ate the whole bag of Harvest Snap, those peas yesterday on the drive home.

No, they're nice. Yeah. But I made sure I finished it so I didn't, like, get home. And share them. But then later on I said, riddled with guilt, I said, I ate a whole bag of that on the way home. August has been doing baking. I licked the bowl.

That was like I kind of robbed them of the... Oh, yeah. It's not a lockdown thing, though. Well, yeah, we don't do too much baking, but usually I just leave them to the bowl. But I was like, I'm having that. Yeah, because I remember as a kid, that was what you always wanted, to lick the beaters or the bowl. Yeah, they had the icing, I had the cake mix. Yeah.

The bowl cleaner. I used a spatula to really... Okay, yeah, that's good. That was good stuff. That was good stuff. What about you? You ate a whole tin of sweetened condensed milk, didn't you? Yeah, that was last time.

And I eat like... You still eating dog food? Or are you off the Jimbo? Off the tux. Chewing on a dry tux. I ate a tux once. What? For why?

At the field days. I don't know. Because they were free. And very dry. You think a Weet-Bix is dry. You try... Nibbling on a tux. You try nibbling your way through a triangle tux.

Okay. A can of cream corn. That's pretty. Well, you just sat down and ate straight out of the tin. Well, I was going to make a toasty. But then you saved yourself some carbs, right? Look at it look on that way. Did you take the lid all the way off or did you hobo it,

do it a bit and then twist the tin back? No, I took it all the way off. Oh, you took it all the way off. I was committed to it from the start. Oh, yeah. You're like, the lid's off. It's got to be finished. Otherwise, it'll bit and then twist the tin back. No, I took it all the way off. Oh, you took it all the way off. I was committed to it from the start. Classy, classy. Oh yeah, you're like, the lid's off. It's got to be finished. Otherwise it'll get that weird crust on the top.

All right. You can give us a call. 0800 DALS at M. You can text us at 9696. Saddest thing. There's a couple of really good texts. Things you've eaten in lockdown. And passionate discussion about chubs of luncheon

behind the scenes this morning as well. Do they still have them? Where are they? I said to Fletch, they're in the part of the supermarket by like the bacon and the ham. We have spoken about luncheon a lot recently and I looked for them too. They're still there.

I was tempted. Tomato sauce and luncheon sandwich on white bread. Yes, with heaps of marge because it's the 80s again. Not butter. See, I've grown up. I'll do salami now. That's the only. Such a grown up.

It's such a grown up thing. Such a mature approach to processed meats. It is. But we want to know in lockdown, the saddest thing that you've found yourself eating, whether it was just a large quantity of something or something. Yeah, that hadn't even reached its final form yet. You were just like, nah, it's going in. Amy, good morning.

Hi. What did you find the saddest thing you've eaten in lockdown? Like the raw rolled puff pastry sheet. I've often wondered what they taste like. Because young, you get little cutoffs and you're like. I've often wondered what they taste like I used to eat them when I was young You get little cut-offs and you're like It's just like soggy It's just soggy

Like flowery It's not sweet though is it Amy? No it's not sweet I have more of a savoury Toast anyway but Yeah I don't know you just like roll it up And it's kind of like gooey And I don't know. You just like roll it up and it's kind of like gooey and I don't know. Let's go through some of the

pastries. So you're talking a short puff pastry? No, no, no, like the not a short puff pastry, like the flaky. A flaky puff pastry. A flaky puff pastry. Okay. Have you tried a short puff pastry? No, I haven't. No, I'm a flaky puff. What about a phyllo puff?

Oh, no, no, no, no. Not a phyllo. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. Warren, don't be such a fool. You've certainly got a type, Amy. Yeah, definitely. Flaky puff.

Isn't that a biscuit hack where you just, like, cut sweet short pastry into, like, biscuits and cook that and then it's just a biscuit? It's like a little pretend shortbread. Oh, like a church wafer. You could go, body of Christ. It's just a biscuit. It's like a little pretend shortbread. Oh, like a church wafer. You could go, and body of Christ. It's better than that.

I'm going to have a church service at home today. I've got a bottle of red wine and I've got some puff pastry. I'm going to make myself a little church service. I'm going to make my kids come to communion.

Oh, they wafer so? Did you have weird like bread? Was yours like puff pastry? Tough times. The Catholics. Tough meetings or whatever it is. Oh yeah, we just, I don't know, we had what was available. So one time, I'm pretty sure the priest put a CC in my mouth.

A corn chip. Oh, yeah, right, okay. And I said, body of Christ, he said, only CCs is teaching ladies. That's a real throwback, and I appreciate it. Amy, thanks. You called some messages in. The saddest thing you've found yourself eating during lockdown?

My mate ate ice cream and tuna on toast last lockdown. That is disgusting. Were they pregnant? That feels like a pregnant mix of... Yeah, that's nasty. Feared. My girlfriend ate a block of cream cheese like it was a popsicle. Oh! Even sprinkled

Italian herbs on it like hundreds and thousands. I wish I could say this was lockdown spurred, but it happened before lockdown. Cream cheese is pretty good, though. I would definitely eat it on its own. How do you eat it? What does it come in? A tub, a little plastic tub.

Or it's the Philadelphia stuff, like rat. Rat. So you would unwrap it and then sprinkle Your Italian herbs and cheese My god Can you imagine The stadium mouth After you Yeah

Um I whipped an entire Bottle of cream And then what Just I ate it with their fingers Like they were just like Wow

Should I get a spoon Nah God gave me ten spoons. Bloody Christ. Only CC's is testing ladies. I had a failed flat sourdough bread, so I just smushed it in my mouth hole with some peanut butter. Bread's kind of good when it's like gooey and doughy.

You're like, oh, well. Yeah. Nut, nut, oh, well. Yeah. Nat, nat, nat, nat. I found myself some gravy in a container. And chos of locked. Oh, and cuz of locked. I've just never seen it spelled that way. I found myself some gravy and some white bread. And I just dipped the white bread in the gravy.

And that was my lunch. Gravy bread. Gravy bread. It's how the South sees that was my lunch. Gravy bread. Gravy bread. It's how the South sees the body of Christ. Body of Christ. Blood of Christ. Is the blood of Christ gravy?

What are you on? The body of Christ is cheap white bread. The blood of Christ is gravy. Welcome to Alabama. What are you doing? It's how we do church down here. I'll tell you what, though. I can't tell you what's in that gravy,

but I can't tell you what's in the vaccine either. And I'll tell you which one's the blood of Christ. The gravy. Oh, my God. You need a long weekend. The gravy. I want to make poutine now. Oh.

Like, do you think I could pull that off with the chips from the oven? Yeah, but then what do you do for the curd stuff? Just do a little chopped up mozzarella. Oh, that's bougie, though. I don't think the Canadians had that in mind. Chop it up and gravy. Because what do they use on? Cheese curd.

It's cheese curd, but what's the closest to that? Mozzarella. Protein powder. Protein powder mixed with goat's milk and then rendered. I'll use my balanced chocolate sprinkle protein. Yeah, no. No, I wouldn't. Yum.

Okay. That's the runny stuff that when you separate the curds and whey. Okay. Or a little Miss Muffet. Yeah. She'll be up yet. She'll be running. Have you got some curds and whey in there?

I've got a spider who will not stop bothering me. It's following me everywhere. I am beginning to think. It's a small, it's a large spider with four legs and a tail and it goes, roo! Now, I don't know my animals very well. I figure it might be a spider, could be a dog. I'm Little Miss Muffet.

I don't think you're going to manage today. Hey, Little Miss Muffet, get over here for a communion. Bow to your crest, blood to crest. Hey, ma'am, that's your gravy and your breads. Right there. Vaughn has to film. Have you been paying attention after the show today? And I don't think you're going to make it through today.

Today's the day. Today's the day I get institutionalised. Wow. 51-50. Hey, body of Christ. Blood of Christ. That's gravy and bread right there. ZM's Fleshborn and Megan.

Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. NZ Herald's new podcast, The Front Page, is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to The Front Page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. The police have arrested 44 people for breaches, lockdown breaches. Good. That's crazy.

What do you get? Do you get a fine? Is that all? Some of them are fines, yeah, because there was a lot of surfers, right? They put soap in your mouth and then they bite down and then they pull the soap out. Yeah, they're your mum in the 90s. And then they put mustard on your thumb to stop you sucking it. I saw people surfing.

I saw those images on the news. I was like, what? Come on. That's right. No. No water-based activities, eh? No aquatic shenanigans. The idea is, I mean, obviously you're not going to run out,

run into another person in the water, but if something happens to you, then people have to come and rescue you. Mouth to mouth, they have to kiss you in the back of an ambulance, basically, and you could give them the vid. Yeah. So don't do that. Don't put yourself at any kind of risk. No. I would just, I've got a

leaf blower. Have they got one of those in the back of the ambulance? I think you need to rein in the farm-based activities a little bit so you don't hurt yourself. My leaf blower's not going to hurt anybody. I haven't done anything. I haven't been on a roof. I haven't been up a tree. I haven't got the chainsaw out, although I've got my

eye on some things that need chainsawing. I think the leaf blower's too wide to do CPR. That's a quitter's attitude. It's not. You'd need more of a funnel to the mouth. You could turn it on and be like. But then you also risk over-inflating the patient. That's true.

Is it like a real low speed? No. All I want is id patient. That's true. Is it like a real low speed? No, it's idling. It's like... But if you're like really riveted, hurricane force. Yeah, I don't think that would work. But if it was just idling, you could just... You could do it more, you could block the mouth and do it more over the nose.

Do an over-the-nose mouth hold. Yeah, well, just don't go surfing, basically. Yeah, don't go surfing. We're in level four. But it's just like the TV show Audio Ninja Warrior, but it's not similar. No, it's American Ninja Warrior or Australian Ninja Warrior. Oh, is it?

The TV shows, that's what the TV shows are called. Yeah, ours is Audio Ninja Warrior. Audio Ninja Warrior. Yeah, so it's like the TV show. Like the TV show. But not similar enough that we'll avoid legal action. Hey-o! I don't know who owns it.

No, neither. But you've got to get through the Audio Ninja Warrior course. We give you a word, and you make the sound effect. If you do that the fastest, you win, and you are today's Audio Ninja Warrior. Joined this morning by Holly. Good morning, Holly. Hi! How's your level 4, Holly?

It's been pretty good. I'm still working, but lockdown's been pretty good. Okay. Are you losing your mind like Vaughn? A little bit. Okay. You sound very positive, though, Holly. You do.

Yeah, I listen to you guys every morning, so I'm excited. It's enough to drive you mad. Holly, you are up against Jade this morning. Good morning, Jade. Good morning. Alright, how's your lockdown? Pretty cruisy. I've been getting up and doing a bit of exercise.

I've seen good weather in Christchurch, so that's cool. What's your exercise of choice during this lockdown? What was that? What's your exercise of choice during this lockdown? What was that? What's your exercise of choice? What are you doing for your exercise? A bit of walking. Oh, okay.

Vaughan's been taking up the bicycling, haven't you? And I'm loving it. You're loving that, aren't you? Here's a question. Oh, no. A sub-question for cyclists. Shall I ask my question later for cyclists? Pencil it in.

Pencil it in. All right, Jade, we're just going to pop you into the cone of silence. If you're a cyclist, don't go anywhere. Jade will not be able to hear. Holly, you're round for Audio Ninja Warrior. We're going to give you a word. You've got to make the sound and get through. The Audio Ninja Warrior, of course, the fastest.

Your time starts now. It's a level four special. A COVID alert announcement noise. This is a COVID announcement. Perfect, perfect. Slurping the top of an alcoholic beverage that you've overpoured for your first drink of the day. Yep, that's a good slur. Good, yeah. A sigh that's a good one. That's good, yeah.

A sigh of exasperation. Yeah, I like that. Jeez, that was more like a squealy situation. Imaginary eating takeaways when they reopen. That was a little chippy. I love it. It's a little chippy. Puffing from the exercise you've just done when you get home.

Oh, my gosh. You have a big run. That was erotic. Ashley Bloomfield's signature greeting at the 1 p.m. presser. Good morning. No. Good afternoon. No, he doesn't say that either.

What does he say? I don't know. She doesn't know. Pause. Pause. We've paused it. It's a today-o greeting that he always says. Oh, come on. I mean, this is New Zealand's most watched program. It's there every time he come on.

I mean, this is New Zealand's most watched program. It's there every time he's on. I feel like right now everyone is screaming at the radio. Everyone. Oh, my God. I've just gone fully blank. Can I also say, I really love how when he's talking about cases and spreads and locations of interest, he calls it the motu.

Yes. He's like, around the motu. I'm like, yeah! That's cool. Oh, and you're out. Well, Holly, you've fallen at the last obstacle. Oh, damn it. So, well, no, let's keep you there. I did it.

I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it.

I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it.

I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it.

I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it.

I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it.

I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it.

I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I just had like a full mind blank. Yeah. We're going to need you to hold there because Jade is still in the kind of silence. So we're going to bring her out. If she stumbles and falls. Yeah. Prep.

Okay. Jade, hello. Jade. That was Fletcher's fault. Not your fault. I don't want anyone thinking that was a Jade issue. That was a Fletcher issue. You really could have just not said that.

Are you ready? Jade, your time's... Hold on, I've opened up the calculator. Also, did you notice that you weren't timing that one? I was timing it on my watch. Oh, you were. Okay, good. Yeah.

Stop watch. And your time for this COVID level 4 lockdown Audio Ninja Warrior special starts... now! for this COVID level four lockdown. Audio Ninja Warrior special starts now. The COVID alert announcement noise. Hello. Sure. Okay.

Slurping a beverage that you overfilled for your first drink of the day. Yeah. Oh, yeah, good. That was a good slurp off the top there before you take it off the bench. A sigh of ex day. Yeah. Oh, yeah, good. That was a good slurp off the top there before you take it off the bench. A sigh of exasperation. Oh. Oh, yeah.

Felt that. Imaginary eating takeaways when they reopen. Oh. Oh, my God. Yes. No, that was good. Puffing when you get home from your walk. A cough even, a puff and a cough.

I love that hot throat cough. Except not COVID. Ashley Bloomfield's signature greeting at the 1pm press conference. Tena koutou. Yay! Unfortunately, yeah, Holly. I also accepted Tenakoto Kato. Yeah, Holly nailed that.

Congratulations. Jade. Sorry, Jade. You said Holly nailed it. Yeah, Jade. Jesus, you're having a shocker. I've lost my mind, but I think you've had an aneurysm. Wouldn't it be funny if we both ended up in the same institute?

I'm going to blame you for ending up. Don't go down there. Those guys talk about how they had a radio show once. What an imaginary life they lived. Imagine if, okay, what if right now we're in a mental institute and this is just all play radio station. This is all fake. Yeah. Are you guys the nurses? Are you real?

Oh my God, Holly and Jade are the nurses. I'm real. Vaughn is pretending to take his pill and he's flushing it down the toilet. When is medication time? I won't take my pills. You can't make me take my pills. Joining us now, friend of the show and sexologist,

Morgan Penn, good morning. Good morning. I'm coming to you from bed today. Good stuff. We'd be there if we could. We could, yeah, we would be. Now, since we've gone into lockdown, have you been finding that people have been reaching out to you

for advice and help? Yeah, I guess with times like this, it's such a pressure cooker for relationships. You know, normally there's a lot of space that happens in relationships, but when you're having to stay in the same house most of the time, it's pretty hard to not see the flaws and the cracks and the things that are actually sitting there in the relationship. So lots of people are coming to me for just a little bit of extra support at this time.

Right. So we thought we'd get you on this morning to talk about how to keep it, I guess, fun and light and... Fun and flirty. Spicy and lockdown. So what would be your kind of your top tips? Yeah, well, I guess like there is one of the big barriers to kind of getting it on is when people are apart.

So, you know, chances are that we are spending a lot more time together at the moment. And sometimes that is stressful. But if we can flip the perspective of it and think about we're so grateful we've actually got some quality time together and look at it from that perspective and then really cash in on that. So, you know, things like one of the biggest complaints I hear

about people not actually having intimacy is that they're too tired by the end of the day. But at the moment, you know, we're not rushing out the door in the morning, so you could try like a little bit of a morning snuggle, you know, or maybe lunchtime becomes lunchtime. You like that one? I made that one up. Yeah, that's good.

That's good. I see what you did there. It's about chips. It's about chips. Yeah, it's about chips for me. Yeah. Routines, you know, routines and rituals are really good. That's not what I thought you said. Routines. I did not think you know routines and rituals are really good at times routines

I did not think you said routines maybe just for the future broadcast let's work on our pronunciation it's because she's in bed she's relaxed she's in her happy space routines yes yes and what about them yeah so

they're really good at these times when every day kind of merges into one because you're doing the same thing a lot. So I was thinking, you know, we're all tuning in at one o'clock for these press conferences, right? And we get quite upregulated and stressed out. So can you turn that into some, like, ritual

where you're like, okay, you're going to give each other massages at that time or you're going to, you know, plan something straight after that that's going to make you feel really good and nice because it is a bit of a stressful time when we're tuning in every day doing that. I'm just worried about the weird looks my kids are going to give me after the one-parent press when I start taking my pants off.

Hey, I think your mother and I have got a little something planned. Well, tell them to go play hide and seek outside and then you can... Right. Well, how can people keep it sexy if they've got kids at home? Yeah, well, I mean, that is definitely a challenge over this time. But I think, you know, we're all being probably a bit more

lenient with technology and parking the kids in front of TVs and devices at the moment. And I mean, that's totally acceptable. But there's always like places you can sort of go, you know, or, you know, there's always sleep time. Yes. The pantry.

There's cars. There's, you know, little cupboards and other rooms. I like the idea of there being a family who's 20 something kids moved home for a bit of security during lockdown, and they're like, okay, you go play on the iPad. It's time for an afternoon nap. I'm 24. I said afternoon nap. We have to normalize parents getting it on.

You know, it's really healthy. Yeah. Oh, no. Megan's parents have's really healthy. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, Megan's parents have a very healthy sex life. Very healthy. Your mum wears

very lacy knickers. Don't tell me that that's not getting everybody going around the cellar's household. Good Lord. Oh, my God. I mean,

what a horrible, when you get a bit older, you do think about that. Like, when you're a kid, you're like, oh, yeah, that's disgusting. But then you're like,

well, I'm that age. I'm going to be that age one day. I hope I am. Yeah. And we still think it's so yuck. Otherwise, what's the point? It's your parents. You don't want to think about it.

The horn, you won't be. I won't be what? You won't be getting it on. No, God, no. God, I'm going to be living alone in the bush. I'll buy that, I reckon. I've gone absolutely reclusive. There was actually a survey done by an adult toy store last Level 4 lockdown that we went into.

And it said that we had 46% more sex in couples. So this is a good sign. You know, we've done it before. We can do it again. We can definitely get that up there. Someone's fudging those numbers. Someone's definitely fudging the numbers. It's believable.

You're locked up. You're not going anywhere, are you? Yeah. No, and I mean, the thing is as well. Morgan Vauden does seem very upset with those numbers. I'm just saying it's lies. Somebody's just trying to make themselves seem like a Casanova during lockdown, aren't they?

Why would the adult toy store tell people that? Look, you need to contribute to these facts, you know, these stats. I want you contributing. Yeah. Okay, I'll do my best. You've got the sexy treehouse, haven't you? Yeah, I'm just worried about the stability of that. That would be perfect for a little romantic afternoon.

It would be good for a romantic getaway. Oh, no, you put a mattress down. Morgan Penn, if people would like to contact you, how do they get in touch with you during lockdown or any time? Any time, you can follow me on Instagram, Morgan underscore underscore Penn with two Ns, or you can go to my website, morganpenn.co.nz.

As always, thank you so much. Be safe during lockdown, please. Oh, such a pleasure. You have fun out there, you guys. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. We thought, you know, it's pretty hard to decide what to have for dinner, but I find it's easier now that you don't have takeaway options.

Well, you've got to get something from the supermarket or from your house. That is the only option. And with especially a lot of meat supplies dwindling in supermarkets, I know that they're working on getting things stonked as fast as they can. Yeah, and I know butchers really want to open again. I totally think they should. I'm on board for that. But, yeah, supplies have been slammed at supermarkets.

So we're asking you now to take a look at what's already in your pantry, what's already in the fridge. Because you're kind of just used to seeing it there all the time and you forget it's there, right? And your creativity might be waned a wee bit. Yeah. It's my favourite game to look into the pantry and be like, what can I make out of this?

What am I going to make for dinner? Yeah. It's my favourite game to look into the pantry and be like, what can I make out of this? What am I going to make for dinner? Yeah. So we thought we would ask you this morning on 0800DARLS.M, you can text as well, 9696, hit us with some of the weird items or objects that are still in your pantry or fridge that have been there for ages. And then we will come back with an option,

a meal out of them. Okay, we've got a couple on Instagram. I thought we could get the ball rolling with now. Okay, hit us. Cathlete. Yep. Might be an athlete. His name's Catherine.

Yeah, she's an athletic Catherine. She's got salmon, lettuce, pizza sauce, and bacon bits. Oh, I like this. Okay, so. I don't cook with salmon. Why don't you cook with salmon? Because I don't eat it. It's so good. Okay, so. I don't cook with salmon. Why don't you cook with salmon? Because I don't eat it. It's so good.

Okay, so I'm thinking the lettuce, we're going to have to wrap salmon and bacon bits. Bacon and salmon wraps. With your bacon and salmon wraps. Pizza sauce. Yeah, with pizza sauce. I'd put pizza sauce on it. And surely she'll have some other like herbs and stuff she can chuck in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe fry the bacon bits. Get that juice out. You've got to pre-cook the, you've got to pre-cook the, you can't eat raw bacon. Get the juice out, chuck the sauce in, fry that,

maybe some herbs. Yeah. I don't know. Oh, so you're saying once the bacon's browned, add a little pizza sauce to that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, situation.

And then cook the salmon. All you could really do. You are salivating at the thought of the salmon wrap that you've invented. I. I just got so much saliva talking about the bacon. Oh, hold on. My phone's ringing. Hello? Peter Pit, what do you want?

Fletcher salmon wraps with bacon bits and pizza sauce? Hold on. I'm getting another call. Wait there, Peter Pit. Tank? Yuri, you want it too? Look at all these house places that are on board. Omega's. You got your Omega 6. You got Omegas. You got your Omega 6. You got your Omega 3.

You got your Omega, Omega, Omega. And something for the vegans too because they can just have the lettuce and the sauce. And the bacon. Well, maybe not that, but sure. Why not? So, great example. Okay, here's another one. I think we've knocked that out of the park.

Gherkins. Yes. Milk. Carrots. Red wine. Here's what you want to do. You want to pour yourself a glass of red wine because you're about to have to stomach something that's going to be pretty gross. Because I'm proposing a milk carrot gherkin smoothie.

Put that in the old magic bullet or whatever that thing's called that you flick upside down. If you haven't got the lid on properly, it leaks a bit. Yeah. And then the wine. Pickle and carrot milk. The wine is what we call the chaser for that. I'd have it before and after if I were you. So, 0800-DARLS-IT-IN.

You can text in 9696. Give us some food options, what you've got left over in the pantry or the fridge that you just haven't used. And we'll give you some lockdown meal ideas. We're talking about if you've just got random stuff in your fridge the fridge that you just haven't used, and we'll give you some lockdown meal ideas. We're talking about if you've just got random stuff in your fridge, what can you make out of it, guys? Should we live a little and make some sort of, like, junk meal? Not because it's junk food, but it's all the junk that's left over in your fridge

that's probably just going to sit there until you chuck it. Or should we use it? You might stumble upon something amazing. There's too much waste. Yeah. And let's be honest, one less trip to the supermarket is one less chance

of getting Delta, isn't it really? Yes. The least times you go to the supermarket, the better. Yeah. So we've got some people

who have sent in what's in their fridge and would like us to... Or pantry. Yeah. Or to devise their evening meal. Okay. What?

Maybe your day meal. You stuck to mine. Nuggies. Yum. Soy milk. Okay. Maybe your day meal. You stuck to mine. Nuggies. Yum. Soy milk, butter and Thai curry paste. I mean, this is writing itself. You've got yourself a delicious new Thai green chicken

nuggies curry. So you'd chicken nuggies in the oven or would you slow cook? Or would you slow cook them? them No I'd crisp them up first No I can tell you You don't need to Because my wife's father's Famous recipe

Fish finger soup He'd just pop the frozen Fish finger straight Into the soup Yeah and they'd cook In that way They'd cook in the soup And then all the crumb

Comes off and you can Really see how grey those Delicious fish fingers are So what would you We're making a curry eh I'd crispy them up I'd curry crispy them up, and then I'd dice them or chop them up into cubes

and then sprinkle them over the top. Yep. And Thai curry paste. Butter in there as well. Or you dip them in and eat them that way. And then have the soup. And like a Thai curry dip. That'd be nice.

That'd be nice as well. Ranch dressing, Frank's hot sauce, arrowroot biscuits in balsamic vinegar. It's all right. It's sauce heavy. That's a condiment shelf. You do need to go to the supermarket. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know if we can help you with that one. You need some bread or some meat in there. Ranch dressing on arrowroots might be right, though. I mean, I'd try it. Yeah, try it once. Yeah. You could... Could you use the arrow roots to crumb something?

Yeah. You need something to crumb, don't you? You can't crumb balsamic vinegar, famously. You can crumb some chicken wings and use the hot sauce. With the arrow roots? Yes. Yeah, good. You could do that.

Because arrow roots, they've got a sweetness to them, but you can tang it with some sour. That would be actually a lovely idea for a crumb. Half a can of soup, some soggy broccoli, a chilli filly and frozen veg. Oh, that sounds to me like a soup with the broccoli. Yeah. And mixed in with the... Blob the thing on top, the chilli filly, right?

And put some frozen veg in with the soup to add a bit more body to the soup. Yep. It'll be a thick, creamy soup with vegetables. Yeah, and broccoli. I don't know what a half a can of soup is. Hopefully that'll be a thick, creamy soup with vegetables. Yeah, and broccoli. I don't know what a half a can of soup is. Hopefully that's got a chickeny vibe to it. Alicia, hit us with the ingredients that you've got in the pantry and the fridge.

Good morning. Soy sauce, ice cream, French vanilla. Okay. Oh, I've forgotten I'm in bed. That is the absolute mood of the nation right now. You've summed it up. I love it. There's ice cream in the freezer.

I forgot what else I'm in bed. There is a can of chickpeas that I think has been there for years. It's probably expired, but I don't know if you guys can make some. They don't go off. They don't go off. Okay, cool. Megan's got this one. No, you cover the chickpeas In soy sauce

And put them in the oven And then you make Those crispy chickpeas Really Yeah I mean Oh and Put it on the ice cream Yeah chase

Well I don't know Well let's not put it On the ice cream I was going to think These are two separate meals Yeah two separate meals You've got your Main and desserts

Yeah exactly Yeah and it's Vegan isn't it Uh huh Apart from the Ice cream Ah but we tried It's French vanilla The French don't put it Yeah, exactly, yeah. And it's vegan, isn't it? Uh-huh. Apart from the ice cream. Ah, but we tried. It's French vanilla.

The French don't put it in any milk. Yes. So famously. It's old breadsticks. That's the difference. That's what French vanilla is made out of. Vanilla essence and old croissants. Alicia, good luck with that one.

Some more messages. Bread. Yep. Aioli. Luncheon. And messages. Bread. Yep. Aioli. Luncheon. And pasta. Okay. You've got a double carb there.

You've got a double starchy situation. You've got bread. I'd almost toast the bread. Yep. Make a pasta bake. And then with the pasta and the aioli, make a pasta bake with crumbled up bits of luncheon. And then you can eat it with some bread as well to get all the toasty bits.

You're welcome. That's pretty good. Is anyone just really hungry now? Yeah. Fish fingers. Everyone's always got bloody fish fingers, aren't they? Because you buy them, you eat some of them and then they just get pushed to the back until you pull something else out and it drags the box of fish fingers.

They hit the ground. The crumb just goes bloody everywhere. Yeah. And a little fish finger scoots under the fridge. You're like, forget about it. And then you're like, what's that smell? It's the fish finger. Fish finger, kidney beans, mayo, and onion.

Oh, God. I'm chopping up the onion. I'm putting it in the fry pan. Yeah. I'm chasing it with the fish fingers. Yeah. Kidney beans as well. Yeah.

Mayo just at the end. It'll caramelize up a little bit. Yeah. And then slop it in like a wrap or just on a plate. I was thinking like fish tacos. You can mush up those kidney beans. Yeah, because you've got the beans there. You can give them a refried feel with the onion and the mayo. Yeah. Open tin of spaghetti.

We could do this all day. I haven't even broken a sweat thinking about how to eat food. Open tin of spaghetti, half a cucumber, and very old takeaway butter chicken, just the sauce. I'd probably ditch that because it's had chicken in it. Yeah. And you don't know how long that can sit there. Up to a couple of days.

Unless you frantically heat it until it's boiling again. Yeah, but how does a cucumber go with butter chicken? You know what I'd do? Spaghetti. Oh, yeah, I'd put the spaghetti and the butter chicken together and I'd cut that cucumber and just put it on your eyes. We all need a little bit of relaxation at the moment. Yes, it'd be good for the bags under your eyes.

Yes. So there's relaxation and a feed. Capsicum, soy sauce, sriracha, mayo and lettuce. I think we're returning back to the Fletch all vegetarian wrap there. Yeah, that sounds all great. Could totally make that one. Easy peasy. Lemon squeezy.

There you go. You've just got to think about it, don't you? Yeah. Get a bit creative. Eat well for less, just really to the turn. I really want to mix spaghetti with butter chicken sauce now. Just see. It does sound like it would be really good.

So tasty. Play ZM's F would be really good. Yeah, absolutely. So tasty. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. The heart, the human heart. Mm-hmm. Not just where we store all of our love. Okay.

What else does it do? Pumps blood around your body. Pumps blood around the body. Correct. What else pumps blood around the body? Not the genitals. Your brain. That's the recipient of the pump.

Yes. Around the brain? Nope. Yeah, the brain. I mean, the brain's recipient of the pump Yes Around the brain Nope Near the brain I mean the brain's part of the whole system Your veins No they're just a tunnel Yeah your butthole No not your butthole

Something else that pumps blood Yep Your lungs Nope Your kidney Nope Splain Nope

It's not an organ Doodle No it's a muscle Thighs Bicep Not bicep. It's right by the heart. That'd be like parking a pump right next to another pump.

What's a muscle? Are you pics? Nope. I don't know what's around. That's literally on top of the heart. Who said it was right by the heart? What's right by the heart? No, he said bicep.

I said that's right by the heart. I'm saying it's not right by the heart. Yeah, carbs. Bingo. What? The calf muscles are blood pumpers. Are they? The calf muscle pump.

Oh, you don't have big ones. No, but they do the trick. They do the trick. They get the blood from the extremities back up to the heart. How cool is that? Because when you're standing up. When you walk and move your calf muscle, it acts as a pump and increases it. If you're lying down, obviously the heart kind of can do it on the flat.

Yeah. But if you're standing up. The calves. The calves can add a little bit of pump. Huh. Let me read you. This is from the very medical sounding paper. Calf pump activity influencing venous hemodynamics in the lower extremities.

They're influencing now too. Yeah. Every body is. Yeah. Hashtag blood pump. Hashtag gifted. Calf muscle pump is the mode of force enhancing return of venous blood from the lower extremity to the heart. It causes displacement of venous.

Now this might be venous blood. Oh, yeah, venous. Because it's like venous, venous, in both vertical and horizontal directions. It generates ambulatory pressure gradient between thigh and lower leg veins and bidirectional streaming within calf... Goodness.

I'm out. I'm out. But yeah, when you move, when you move the calf, like right now, we're going to do some calf raises. We're just going to sit at our desk. We're going to do some calf raises. Go up and down. See how that's got the, it goes.

That's acting as a little pump too to get blood back up to the heart. How amazing is that? Even you. How amazing is that? That's probably why your heart rate's so low, because you've got massive calf muscles. So they're like sharing the load, sharing the burden. Oh, maybe.

Tell everyone how you died the other night. I didn't die. Didn't your heart beat you down to three beats a minute? No, it was like 30-something. His heart got down to beating once every two seconds while he was sleeping. My Apple Watch in the morning was like, are you alive? Yeah, you might be dead.

No, I've just got a really low resting. My resting heart rate at the moment on average is 51. That's low. But it just means I'm super cute. The lowest it's been is 41 lately. But overnight, at one stage you got down to 30. Yeah, overnight,

I was just like, that was a good sleep too, that one. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm sure it was just like, that was a good sleep too, that one. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm sure it was. It was literally dead. You're almost sleeping forever. Yeah. It was almost like, this is it.

Yeah. You and the elephant. The animal with the lowest heart rate is elephant with a rate of 30 beats a minute. He's calling me fat. Yeah, he's calling me fat. I mean, we're all in lockdown. Yeah. You were buying treats at the supermarket yesterday too.

Yeah, I know. And look at my heart racing to keep up. It's like, not again. Oh, God. So about the blue whale. Oh, yeah. Blue whale heart rate. Because I'm imagining it's all the big ones.

Ouch. I'm right here. So a blue whale has heart rates ranging from 2 beats a minute to 37 beats a minute. Oh, wow. Doesn't it have like more space to get the stuff around? Shouldn't it be beating more? But it's so big. God, okay.

Exciting. So today's fact of the day is the calf muscles work as a little bit of a blood pump. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. This lockdown, I said I was going to do it between last lockdown and this lockdown. I said, I said, I said, boy, I said, I've got to buy me one of them bicycles. Because last lockdown when the gyms were shut, I did a lot of running and it's pretty rough on your joints.

Yeah. Oopsie, I thought I turned my microphone off and they moved it, but I just turned it back on and moved it. You really know how to. So I said, I've got to buy a bicycle, and I didn't. I know. Time passed, and here we are. So I said to Fletch, might I borrow your bicycle, good sir? Because you've got a back condition.

Yeah, I've got a disc that's screwed. Yeah, so biking's sort of like off the bench for you. And I've thoroughly enjoyed my cycling. Haven't I told you for years? You said, you said. You will love cycling because it's not running. It's not as strenuous on the joints. My dad loved cycling.

That was his preferred form of exercise. He did his hand. Yeah, he texted me the other day about that. Yeah, he's got some Lycra. I would never fit. He's a far smaller man than me. You're nosy too. You can get around so much more area.

I am seeing houses that I drive past at speed but now I'm cruising past on a bike and I can really judge the house. It's a beautiful house being built around the road from us. Beautiful house. I think it's my new favourite house on the block. It's a beautiful house. And that's another great

thing. It's great for nosying. You know, when the weather's right, there's just nothing like it. Yeah. So I can totally see the appeal now. I wouldn't like doing it in a massive group, though, because I'm a bit like, wee! When I go down the hills, I'm like, wee! I wish there's no cars behind me before I wee, but

like, everybody just seems to be pinning it when they're in a group. I could possibly go for some bike pants, only because I have had a little bit of sore in the seat. I think that's what cyclists call that area of the gooch through scrotum.

You're doing a bit of cycling it'll really toughen your gooch area. Toughen your seat. I can't walk the next day. That's the worst part. I've had a dainty gooch for years.

It's been described by many as a dainty gooch. A dainty gooch. You're a dainty gooch the one that rips holes in all your jeans. It's acidic

but it's dainty. I'm getting this now and I'm really toughening up my gooch. Your dainty gooch, the one that rips holes in all your jeans. It's acidic, but it's dainty. Oh, right. I'm getting this now, and I'm really toughening up my gooch. It's like when kickboxers boot a tree. My gooch has been punched by the bike seat. So that's not my question either, because I know that's part and parcel of it. Okay. My question is to cyclists.

I've got two questions. How do you get used to the gears? That's great. Okay, yep, that question's out of the way. What do you mean, How do you get used to the gears? That's great. Okay, yep. That question's out of the way. What do you mean, how do you get used to the gears? Because I keep doing it right now. If I push my thumb in, does that make it up or down? Because on the bike of yours, thumb in on the right-hand side is easier. Thumb in on the right-hand side is harder.

Yeah, right. So I'm just getting used to that. My question is, do you get a sore neck from looking up? Because I'm on the seat and I'm bent over and I'm holding on to the handlebars, but I'm up. I've got my head up because I've got to be alert. I've got to be aware of my surroundings. And I've just noticed the muscles in the back of my neck are tight.

Because the bike that you're riding in mine, it's not a road bike. It's a commuter bike. So it's like half a road bike, half a BMX. Mountain bike. Sorry, mountain bike. Yeah. So it's like. Are you just supposed to like BMX. Mountain bike. Sorry, mountain bike. Yeah. So it's like... Are you just supposed to

kind of look down and look where you're going? No, you're supposed to... It's like driving. You're supposed to keep your head up so you can be aware of upcoming hazards. Yeah.

Potholes, things on the road. But you are kind of hunched over. Hunched over, holding the bars. I tried to ride yesterday with no hands. I'm not ready for that yet. You are definitely

going to hurt yourself. I taught myself as a kid I had a BMX I rode with no hands. I'm not ready for that yet. You are definitely going to hurt yourself. I taught myself as a kid I had a BMX I rode with no hands and a mountain bike I could ride with no hands. I know. These wheels are a little bit skinnier, so I'm getting there, though. I had a drink with one hand. That was a big step for me yesterday. Oh, from the drink bottle holder.

No, no. From the drink bottle holder. Yeah, no, a gin and tonic. Yeah, no, I'm on the piss. I'm out there. I've got a cocktail shaker. That's why I really want to get no hands because I can make myself a martini. Excuse me for thinking it was a possibility you'd be on a bike with a whiskey.

To be honest, if I had a second bottle, I'd put a little something under the seat. But then I did that. But, yeah, just when you're hunched over and you're looking up, it's a real, like, straight on the neck and back. Well, maybe you've just got to make sure your neck's not craning. I was thinking, is there a posture I should be going for? Like, should I tuck my arms in? Yeah.

Stop rubbernecking at all the neighbours then. It's not even that. The turning is just keeping the head up. When you're incessantly messaging all the Olympians when they won, why don't you message some of them and say, how do I stop my sore neck? They love hearing from me. Sevens team, yes.

Right, okay. You know, I'm in regular contact with Paul Cole, who won the British Open in squash this week. I know, yeah, I know. Cycling might not be his jam. I don't think he'd help you with your neck issue there. The kayakers and the rowers, I pester them. Something chronic.

But I don't know if I've got a road cyclist on my Sarah Ulmer. I'm going to go straight for the cream of the crop. Just message her. Just DM her and ask her. Yeah, sure. Do you ever get a sore? When you were pumping those road races, did you get a sore neck? Because I don't feel the velodrome people,

they're not on their bike long enough. Oh, big call. No, I mean like in their races. Yeah, right. Okay. So if you were specifically velodrome people, they're not on their bike long enough. Oh, big call. No, I mean like in their races. Yeah, right. Okay. So if you were specifically velodrome, but I'm pretty sure velodrome people also cycle on the road. Well, feel free to message Vorden9696 if you can help him with his cycling neck. Yeah.

Oh, somebody just messaged in. Yes, the sore neck. It's the cyclist neck. Oh, the cyclist neck. It's got a name now. Okay, but there's no way to fix it. Well, there must be. Just posture maybe.

Just some stretches. I'm going to work on some stretches. Maybe a massage gun onto it. Yeah. Some flexibility. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. So I have absolutely shocked my work colleagues today. I can't believe this.

I can't believe that. We had a lot of food discussion on the show today because we're locked up in Level 4 and this is all we have to do. What else are we going to do? Yeah, that we have a lot of time to eat. And I said I am possibly thinking about doing some or trying to recreate some

Canadian poutine. Chippies, gravy, and cheese curd. Yeah, fries. Not chippies. Well, no, that's what I call fries, but yep. Chips, hot chips, gravy and cheese curd. So the cheese curd is, I have looked online

and there are some places you can get it. I don't think supermarkets, unless it's bougie supermarkets. There are places that can deliver you it. And it's kind of like this, it's like, yeah, it's hard to, it just kind of melts in, but it doesn't melt, eh? It's not like a cheese where it fully melts.

No. It kind of keeps its structural integrity a little bit. Yeah, but it doesn't melt, eh? It's not like a cheese where it fully melts. No. It kind of keeps its structural integrity a little bit. Yeah, but it's so yum. But maybe like you say, mozzarella could be good. This is where I shocked both of you. I said that since, like, I remember growing up, like, mum would always have like oven

fries from the supermarket. But since moving out of home, I have never ever purchased oven fries from the supermarket. He's never, he's never. Mostly because of carbs. But then if I do want chips, I'll just go buy them or get fish and chip chips. Sure.

Or I'll go to Macca's and get fries because they're delicious. The oven fries, should we call them that? Yeah. Oven chips. It's harder to get them like crispy. Back in the day it was. Because my parents, when they'd go out, when we were them that? Yeah. Oven chips. It's harder to get them crispy. Back in the day it was, because my parents, when they'd go out, when we were old enough to babysit ourselves, the deal was it was always a pack of those oven fries and a pizza,

neither of which cooked fantastically. No. It was hard to get them to crisp up. Now an air fryer would change the game. Yeah, that'd be amazing. But so I've never purchased oven fries. Isn't that nuts? It is nuts.

Like when I said that, I was like, also because, you know, I lack patience. And like, how long do they have to be in the oven for? Longer than you think. 40 minutes? I don't have time for that. 40 minutes. And you've got to spread them out. Yeah, and then you're constantly, I'm just like, you could literally go to a fish and chip shop faster and get them back.

You could. Because it's just downstairs. Whereas like for me to go to a fish and chip shop, I have to drive. Yeah, right. Okay. Which is a wee high. But you know that you can get like all kinds of different ones. You can get ones that are battered.

And I know there are wedges. Oh, the beer battered. Are we boring you? Yeah, you're okay. You want to text me mid-talk. The beer-battered ones are the best ones for crisping up in the oven. No additional treatment required. Okay, because that's my question is if I'm going to do poutine at Home with Gravy. If I'm going to do poos.

If I'm going to do poos. I'm going to go, I'm going to do poos. No, poutine. Poutine. Then what is the superior oven fry that I need to be buying? Because I don't know if beer-battered fries are, like, perfect for poutine. No, they're not. They're a standalone oven fry.

And I'm, controversially, I'm not a fan of beer-battered fries. It's all about the condiment you have. I just have a normal fry. Right. With salt and a... If that was your option. But I'm saying your home-baked oven fries, a beer batter adds the crispness.

It's less work. Yeah, true. You don't have an air fryer, right? Nah. We need to get air fries. I know. I'm glad I've got an air fryer. They've got the biggest one possible

and they haven't hardly used it. I've just been resisting because everyone, they're so popular and I don't want to do what everyone else is doing. I don't like that. That's why Vaughn hasn't seen the movie Titanic, though. So I get that We're just three very stubborn people

No no no I shan't Remember convention ovens Are you wrapping ourselves No no no I'm saying there was an ad about how the air Spun around them is that what the air fryer is Just 20s version I think so yeah So yeah I mean I guess what

Just get a, like a Waddy's? Crispiest fry. Someone said Mr. Chip's Agria oven fries are delicious. Does Mr. Chip's sell to the old common person in frozen form? I thought he was a bolt. It's a wholesale cheaper. I know that I've got a Gilmore's though.

Could pop to Gilmore's and get... Gilmore's would definitely have a Mr. Chipper. That'd take up the whole entire freezer apartment of my fridge freezer. Fridge freezer. I'd have to put my... I'd have to put my berries somewhere else. Berries and what else?

I agree. Watch out. That's a very good question. Matt, somebody on the live stream, overseas listener, possibly Canadian, is asking if McDonald's does poutine. No.

No one does poutine apart from you. That must be a Canadian special. Yeah, Canadian. Sadly. If you left Canada, you'd be shocked at the lack of fries with gravy on them. Yeah, you would be.

Anywhere else in the world. Absolutely. All right, well, thank you. Text messages,gestions coming in That'll be my Supermarket To do list today Yeah