ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 25th February 2021

Episode Date: February 24, 2021

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Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast with Hayley Sprout. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the Macca's app, buy five McCafe coffees and get one free. Hayley, you're eating a slice. Far out. And it's heavy. Or is the slice eating me? Now, if you've been listening for a while, I have mentioned that I've been on the keto diet.

Yeah. A diet that I tap in and out of in my life. Was it the news story the other week about heart tissue scarring? I want to say it contributed. Okay. Because I got a bit worried and I wasn't feeling that great. And I was like, you know what I need is a bit of carbohydrates, but I'll just ease them back in.

So day two, here I am with a slice that I want to say contains a whole bag of Chelsea's white sugar. Yeah. White sugar too. There's absolutely no. Like it's a. Raw or brown in there. No of Chelsea's white sugar. White sugar too, there's absolutely no raw or brown in there. When you put that down on the desk it thudded. Can you hear this?

Maybe put the mic right down to the and then drop it. This is the slice. Have a listen to how heavy this slice is. You didn't throw it. He gave that little extra assistance. I just wanted to really give the feeling of it. It's part brownie on the bottom and then a caramel layer in the middle and then a white chocolate coffee topping.

Oh, my God. Fletch, how did you describe the density of that? Because I just want to point out. So the size of it is about five centimeters by five centimeters. Yeah, it's huge. And I've had two bites and Fletch finished his. Yeah, I pushed through. I didn't want to, but I did.

You finished yours. I had a different size, but it was very sweet. And I got to about three quarters and I was like, if I stop for breath now, I'm not going to be able to get going again. So I just shoveled it all in. I likened it to when you buy like a courgette or a marrow from the supermarket and you thud it on the table. It's very much like that.

Or an eggplant. Yes, it just thuds out. Or a penis. It wasn't. It was a penis before. It's like when you slam your dick on a bench top. A phallus. I did not say that.

To which I said, I've eaten at your breakfast bar. I don't feel at all happy about this now. Well, the breakfast bar is like 1.5 metres off the ground. That's who's... What, are you standing on the chair to do it? I've suddenly gone off my very sticky, very thick slice here. I've told Fletch, this guy who comes around making doctor's calls

isn't a real doctor. He's like flopping out on the bench. I was like, Fletch, this is not... You go to them. Why do you make up these stories doctor's appointment fletcher's i don't remember booking a doctor's appointment the guy's like monthly checkup i tell you that guy's not a doctor you know i only learned this after three times in the back of his van yeah right okay well let's leave it do you reckon we're gonna have an

absolute sugar crash in about two minutes yes Yes. I predict a wild crash. Oh, look at you. Look at your fingers. Your eyes have gone real big. It's like you're taking, when you see on movies, little drug dealers getting their fingers in their little Coke bag and being like. But the thing is,

not only is this a lot of sugar, I haven't had sugar for about four months. Oh, fuck. Oh, wow. Yeah. Uh-oh. You're going to lose your mind. Fleshforn and Megan,

the podcast. ZM. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Two minutes past six. Guys, here's Caramilk News. Caramilk News.

I'm listening. Yeah. Well, I'm going to tell you soon. Oh, my gosh. It's not the Easter bunnies. I've already had one of those. Do we get to eat caramilk as part of this news?

Ah, no. Well, I don't want to hear it. Move on. I'm just getting over the return of the hundreds and thousands chocolates news. Because remember I was like, ah, I didn't like it that much. Well, guess who's polished it off more than a block so far? It's so yum.

They've got to keep that full time. But it's just what, is there any flavour added by the pinkness of the more than a block so far. It's so yum. Biscuit. They've got to keep that full time. But it's just white. Is there any flavour added by the pinkness? I don't think so. It's just colour, right? It's white. White chocolate. And a little bit of biscuit.

Yeah, and then a little hundred and thousands. I told myself I wouldn't, but here we are. Simple, but it works. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. All right, we've got the top six coming up as well. Japan has said in 2021 they're signing a new ministerial position in their parliament. It is the Minister of Loneliness. Oh.

Because it's not just COVID, it's a bit of an epidemic. It's been an epidemic in Japan for a while. They've got an ageing population. And they're healthy people, they're living for a long time. But tradition was that the younger members of the family would look after the older members of the family. But now Japan's younger people are living a more Western-style life. So they don't have time to be hanging out with Grandma, man.

Yeah, they go and visit like once a year. Yeah. And so they're lonely. Lonely. And Nan doesn't even have a Nintendo Switch, which is a real. No, she should. We don't need a minister for that. Get Nan a Nintendo.

We need Nan's. Yeah. Minister of Nan's Nintendos. A Nantendo. Yes. Make the controllers bigger so their sore fingers can work them. Yeah. Just smushing buttons.

Yeah, we're solving it. The top six other ministerial posts that 2021 will need. Also, ZM's $50,000 secret sound, all thanks to Star streaming now on Disney+. We are up to $20,000. We had a jackpot. $20,000 cash is all yours at 7 o'clock. If you can tell us what this sound is.

Hayley's like, that's on the tip of my tongue. It is. I know this. I know this. And I keep looking through to the little dungeon for Sound Keeper Owls and looking for clues. And it's just, it's confusing in there. It's not helpful.

Well, 7 and 8 this morning, your next chances to guess. Next on the show. Ladies, there's a part of being a grown woman that we have to deal with something. And now you can do it yourself. Speaking of medical conditions, because that's probably a bit of an issue you need to look at. Is it?

Breathing. The NHS in London is going to trial DIY cervical smear tests. So you do this at home yourself? Yeah. Now, I have zero experience or knowledge about, other than that, you should get them. Here's how an appointment goes.

Hey, I've got a bit of a sinus infection. Great, here's some antibiotics. While you're here, we might as well take a look at your cervix. Jesus. And you go, yeah, all right. Sorry about the situation down there. It's been a long winter. And then they draw a curtain.

Winter is coming. You pop up on the bed and you're nude from the waist down. And then they pop back and they change you. They put their gloves on and they go, just flop your legs out. So you've got to put your feet together. Flop your legs out like it's just flop, flop, flop. Then they get this speculum and then it hops. That's the duck bell thing, eh?

Crank it open so they can see right into you. Crank it open? They crank it. It's like click, click, click. Then there you are. And then they get a little swab and they boop, boop, boop, boop, boop you in the cervix. Right.

How far in? Right to the back. How far is the back? How far in is the cervix? Up. The back row. It's the back. It's different in every woman.

It's different for everybody, but it's a fair way in. It's a fair way in. Right. There's no return. You know, it's a dead end. You've got to turn around. So they do the swab and that's it? They do the swab's a fair way in. It's a fair way in. Right. There's no return. You know, it's a dead end. You've got to turn around. So they do the swab and that's it? They do the swab, they put it in.

And they uncrank? Uncrank it, pull it out, leave it to yourself. Give you a little complimentary tissue. And they're doing DIY ones? They're doing DIY ones. How are you going to do that? Well, I don't know if you're going to get the full speculum, but they're giving out 31,000 home kits in London,

sending them to women who are overdue. Because it only takes, you're supposed to get my think every two years if you've got a healthy cervix, every one year if you've had issues in the past, which I have had before, so I'm a real stickler for getting them. Is this because of COVID people have been stuck at home and they can't get in? No, it's because women are too embarrassed to go and get it

done. In the UK as well, my friend was telling me that he lives there and you can get like, there's an organisation, I don't know if it's the NHS or whatever, might just be a community organisation, that will send you the full sexual health testing kit. So you do it all at home, swabs, urine, everything,

put the lids on, pop in the swab tips, and then send it away and they'll just text you. And then say you had something, they'd be like, well, go to this pharmacy and pick up this. Isn't that, because it's the same thing, people are too embarrassed to go in to get tests. People are too embarrassed. And like, you don't want to be walking around with that

if you don't know you've got it. And you also, I mean, cervical cancer, it's rapid. It's very quick moving and very deadly. What was the thing called that cranks it open? The speculum. The speculum. So is that the purpose of that so that you can get the swab from the back of the cervix and then get the swab out without it hitting the sides.

Do you know what I mean? Because doing it at home, if you don't have the correct apparatus, you could probably get there, but then on the out. Oh, my goodness. What a scene. Wow. So they don't use the middle ones that often. Shade came home very pleased that they still use the small one.

They had to get the small one. Then they got the medium-sized one, and the woman said, oh, no, I'm going to need the small. Right. That's like a game of operation, isn't it? It is. You've got to get it in and get it out without the nose going. Does your nose go meh?

Yeah, I do. You're like, you've touched a side there. Yeah, you go meh? Yeah, I do. You're like, you've touched a side there. Yeah, you're just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy down there, girl. Oh, well, DIY or not, it's very important to get tested. It is. Every couple of years. Let this be your reminder.

If you are overdue, no shame. They've seen worse than yours. Yeah. Because they've seen mine. Hayley's in the book. There's always something about that saying, there's always someone worse off. What if there's not?

What if you are the worst? You are the baseline. Yeah. I always think that. What if you are the worst? There's always someone older. Unless you're the oldest person. If you're the oldest, hairiest, dirtiest person. Fleshfawner Megan, the podcast, ZM.

I'm just Googling whereabouts the South Bank Promenade is in Melbourne. Oh, that's right. That'll be right on the Yarra. I was going to say, everything's on the Yarra in Malbs. It's the, you know, when you walk over by the casino. Oh, yeah, that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're by the casino.

Yeah. Yeah, but, like, if you go across the bridge at Fed Square, like Flinders Street, get off at Flinders and go across to like the Arts Centre. Yeah, sick. Yeah. Remember when you could do a long weekend or a week in Melbourne? Oh, yeah.

Great city. Great city. So the reason I'm Googling the South Bank Promenade is there is a bit of an issue in Melbourne. It's that cyclists, both of the pedal and E-variety, that's not cyclists on E, that's cyclists on E-bikes,

and scooter riders could be fined $1,600. They're running a trial. $1,600? Uh-huh. They're running a trial because there's a problem with bikes and scooters going too fast and becoming an issue to pedestrians. So now it's being limited to 10 kilometres an hour

if you are to bike through the pedestrian, this sort of shared access. Okay. That's almost slow enough to fall over on a bike. Yeah. It's just wibbling. I've just Googled how much in Victoria, in Melbourne, you think it is if you run a red light in your car. Oh, probably way less.

$600. $400. Yeah. But it's $1,600 if you're blasting down the promenade. On the footpath on your bike. Yeah, a speed fine's only like $180. Yeah, that seems really out of whack. You'd be out there, Fletch, judging the e-bikes

because Fletch is a pedal snob. You're manual. No, because they just go so fast, e-bikes. They really go fast. I want one. Cheating. This is Fletch when he sees an e-bike. Cheating, cheating.

They're not even putting in enough effort and they're going way too fast. If I want to go that fast, I have to put in so much effort. I don't even think you could go that fast on a normal bike. I went on an e-bike recently through the Karangahaki Gorge track. Oh, beautiful. It was beautiful, I tell you what.

But it had this amazing feature. So you know with the e-bikes you pedal and then you push that, you push some, you know, put in a little bit of a boost and it gives you a boost but you've still got to pedal. This one had one that you just hold down and you don't even have to move your a boost and it gives you a boost, but you still got a pedal. This one had one that you just hold down and you don't even have to move your legs.

So it was like a scooter. Oh, cheating. It was like a motorbike. Super cheating. It was like a motorbike. Super cheating. But a bicycle. But it drained the battery faster.

Yeah, it did. But like, if you were just going from home to work, work to home, you'd literally just get on the bike and just sit with your legs like stagnant. Would you get home and still eat treats because you biked home? Yeah. Oh, I'd have my Fitbit on and everything.

Tracking that. Mum. Right? My mum and dad are doing a little bike tour around the South Island at the moment. Just one part of it. And yesterday I talked to them last night. Mum said, my e-bike ran out of batteries before we finished today. So I had to pedal.

She's like, well, they're so bloody heavy, those batteries. Yeah, they are. You've got to pedal them all yourself. But don't they self-charge when you pedal? Or do you have to charge them overnight? No, you have to charge them

and you've got to plug them in when you get home or get to work, right? Boo. Yeah, it's not like a car that recharges itself while it's running. Right.

Mum apparently said to the guy because there's a van going with them with all their gear and everything. Yep. She said, you just chuck the cell

in the trailer or I'll just jump in the van for the last bit because the battery's not flat. And he's like, oh, it just chuck the cell in the trailer or I'll just jump in the van for the last bit because the battery's not flat. And he's like, oh, it's not that much further. She's like, it was bloody ages. So she wasn't happy at the battery life of the e-bike. Not happy for a workout.

No, didn't want to. Happy for a partial pedal. Didn't want a full workout, no. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Yummy, yummy. Time for yummy, yummy, yummy. It's time for

yummy, yummy, yummy. You were getting a little just had a bit of thinking about what you were about to tell about your yummy, yummy. We need to stop smoking so much in the breaks, you know. Straight diaries. So, our segment of the show,

Yummy, Yummy, where we take a look at new food items or trends or products. And this is set to hit Australian and New Zealand shelves. Now, I don't have New Zealand release dates, but in Australia, the product will be available from supermarkets March 1 and March 8. So I don't know if it's similar here in New Zealand, but I'd expect a release date of March or very soon.

Imminent, Cadbury are set to release Caramilk Baking Chips. Caramilk Baking Chips. Like little... Like choccy chips. Yeah, so they're like drops of caramilk. It's like when you're making muffins or whatever and you sprinkle them in. And it's a bit bigger than a chocolate chip, right?

It's like a chunk. Is that what we use baking chips for or do we just get a little pinch out every now and then into the hand and have a little nom nom nom?

So you know how my friend is staying at the moment until they find a flat? They did some baking and left... I think you guys are doing lots of baking. Yeah.

Well, no, not so much but in level three there was a bit of baking and he has left a packet of white chocolate baking drops in the fridge. So last night they were just staring at me

and he was out. And I just funneled some into my hand. You pour them out like a pig. And then I was like, oh, I can have a few more. Because they're small as well, you're like, it's not real chocolate. It's not real calories Exactly I'm just having these tiny little

Drops of chocolate I said the minute anything Sees baking on it I was scarred as a child By a block of baking chocolate Oh no you can't eat that And I just remember Wolfing it

And not realising Until I was like Two rows deep That it was nasty It's terrible chocolate Yeah But then when it's Melted down

And used in baking It's yum It's yum Because it's got other stuff in it. Yeah, but by itself, not as good. It's bruised super bitter. This would be good because everyone goes crazy for caramilk. Well, I love making caramilk cookies, but I'll just chop up a whole block.

Oh, my God. Can you make us some? I want some. But I find caramilk, like, I didn't really get in on the whole caramilk thing because I had a little nibble of someone's caramilk and I found it a bit overwhelming. It's quite sweet. It's very sweet.

Very sweet. Whereas these little drops, I could just have a little bit. And then a little bit. And then a little bit. A little bit. And before you know it, you've had a whole pack. Wean yourself onto it. I want to wean onto the caramilk.

Yeah. Well, apparently the special edition will be available for 12 months after launching. I'm going to stock up. And I'd say, like New Zealand, it'll stay, right? Because New Zealand have said Caramilk is permanent now. It's one of the best selling chocolate flavors. It's a staple.

It's one of the best selling ones. So why would you do it in limited releases? If you could come up with a chocolate flavor, you know, because we've already talked about the hundreds, thousands, we've got Caramilk. If you could come up with one chocolate flavour, you know, because we've already talked about the hundreds, thousands, we've got caramilk. If you could come up with one, what would it be? I don't know. Have you been to the supermarket lately? There's literally two whole rows of chocolate.

I think mine would be like butter chicken and basmati rice. That could work. Because, you know, sometimes there's some weird combos that go really well. Hawaiian pizza chocolate. Grim. That is disgusting. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM from iHeartRadio.

This is the latest. There's a film that is due for a reboot. I tell you what, it's Die Hard. And Charlize Theron has said she would like to take part in that. She'd like to be Jane McClain. She was.

Yeah. Jane McClain. She said that she would love to make it with a queer lens. She's already a self-admitted fan of queer culture, including her regular standing of RuPaul's Drag Race. But she expressed her desire to film a remake of the Bruce Willis action slash Christmas

classic, Die Hard, but with a lesbian twist after the idea was suggested to her by a Twitter user who tweeted the idea that it's like her running around kicking ass and trying to save her wife. What was that action movie she did that was, was it a yeah, it was on Netflix. Yeah, and she to save her wife. What was that action movie she did that was,

was it a, yeah, it was on? Netflix. Yeah, and she was like sorting people. She was kind of like, what was the deal? She wasn't, they couldn't be killed, right? Superhuman-y. Yeah, they couldn't be killed. The Old Guard.

Yeah, that was really good. What was the other one she did? Blonde. Bombshell. Bombshell. Bombshell, the Old Guard. She's in, oh, she's in the next Fast and the Furious. I could see her doing that.

She's in Fast and the Furious. She should have some respect for herself. Atomic blonde. Atomic blonde. Atomic blonde is what I meant. So late last year, someone tweeted the idea and then she quote tweeted that proposal saying, where do I sign? And then in an interview with Vanity Fair,

she said that actually the idea is brilliant and insisted that she wasn't joking if someone was to pitch that to her to lead such a story. She said, I was like, this person needs to start pitching. That's a great idea. And the fact that it would be two women,

sign me on. So stay tuned. She's a powerful woman. Is she allowed to play a lesbian though? If she's not one? She's already played a lesbian in Monster, her Academy Award winning performance. Remember that she was a lesbian in that.

But also a serial killer and I don't think she's a serial killer either. I'll leave that one up for debate. That's the latest for more Head to ZM online. We're not cancelling her yet. She was in Mad Max too. She's not mad. Mad Max.

She's not mad. She's actually quite chill. All together. Okay, she's cancelled. I love the backstory. 28 minutes to 7. The top 6 is coming up. Yeah, the top 6 other ministerial positions in 2021

is Japan is assigning a Minister of Loneliness. That's so sad. It really is. But next, what does a 30% chance of rain mean? A 30% chance it'll rain? Maybe, but maybe not. That's confusing, mate. That's always,

the weather app is always confusing me. I'm like, it's going to rain and then it doesn't. But then it does in some spots. Yes. Explain it to the best of our abilities next. Fletchforn and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. If you look at a weather app, chances are, well, it'll tell you the high for the day, the low, and then they'll assign an icon for what the day's general vibe is on the weather or a specific time. You can also see chance of precipitation. Well, for example, when we're in Wellington today for Bangers Bingo, 1pm in Wellington, for example, 40% chance of rain. According to you, I've got 30% at 1pm. How are we on the exact same app with a different result? Have you refreshed?

Yeah. What does your 2pm say? 60%. 60, same. But 1pm's 30. What does your 1pm say for Wellington? 40. Oh, well, you're wrong.

Why have I got 30? I'm a little ray of sunshine, aren't I? You're just more optimistic than us. Yeah, that's probably dead right. But that is so true with weather apps. Yeah. So that 30% chance of rain, I thought it always meant that Wellington City,

there's a 30% chance, one in three thereabouts, that there will be rain. There'll be clouds. Some of them might have some rain. Yes. But it could bypass it. There's a 60% chance it might just be cloud and no rain. 70% you mean?

Well, for you. Oh, right. For us, 60. 60 for you. I was playing to the majority here. Right. So I never really thought any more about it. I always look at it when there's like an 80% chance of rain.

I'm like, that's a high chance it's going to rain. We're going to get some skiffy showers at the very least. But there's a little, little, little chance that maybe it won't. That maybe it won't. And we'll be all right. But you're going to tell us that you're going to turn our world upside down, I feel. You were leading up to this. I saw this on the internet a couple of days ago, and I still can't confirm that it's how

it's done in New Zealand. But the guy that I'm about to play you is from the Weather Channel's official TikTok account. Right. So the Weather Channel are also the people, if you look in the bottom left-hand corner of this app that we're using here, the inbuilt iPhone weather app, that's where they get their weather from. The weather channel. The weather channel.

What does the Met Service, because the Met Service have got an app, do they do the chance of rain? I'll have a look. I think they do. Because you'll have to, then you have to change to Wellington. Okay. Wellington Central. Here we go.

Feels like 18, 90%. Wet. Wet. Oh no, that's humidity. That's 90% humidity. I'm like, that's humidity. That's 90% humidity. I'm like, there's no way it's 90%. No, I don't think they do it a percentage of a chance of rain. But I just look at the rain radar like a boomer with the washing on the line.

Oh, God, I love a rain radar. Oh, my God, same. Same. I just like knowing where it's coming from. Wait, are you saying it's cool to light the rain radar? Oh, my God, yeah. It's so cool. I want to get a rain radar printed on a T-shirt.

So if I'm going to go for a bike ride and it's looking a bit iffy, I'll get the rain radar, see where it's tracking, and I'm like, well, I can, that's fine. Put your windbreaker on. Yeah. And away you go. Get out there, yeah. Well, it turns out it's not so much you're likely,

you're at 30% chance of rain. Yeah. There's a bit of a mathematical equation to it. Listen to this be explained on how this works. All right, so you tagged us for an answer. Let me take a stab at this. So probability of precipitation, or POPs as we call it for short, it's a pretty simple equation.

Confidence times coverage. Most often this is used for coverage. So let's say that I'm 100% sure that 30% of the forecast area will see at least some measurable rain. Then I'd forecast a 30% chance for rain, right? Basically to boil it down, if you stay in one spot all day and there's a 30% chance for rain, then you have a 30% chance for rain. If you move around a little bit throughout the day, your chances will go up. Important to remember, the percentage has nothing to do with how much

rain falls. You could have a 10% chance for rain and still end up with flooding if you get caught under a rogue thunderstorm. Now, I'm in my mid-30s. I've been a professional meteorologist for a long time i'm pretty groaned and i still get kind of confused about this stuff so don't feel bad about it also doesn't really help that a lot of different meteorologists have different definitions but this is the actual technical definition so my biggest question out of that is what is groaned if you stay in one place you're fine i feel like i've left that more confused than I intended. So if they're 100% sure that there's going to be some rain, but only 30% of the area could experience it,

that's where you get 30%. If they're 50% sure of rain and only 10%, it's significantly lower. So surety still comes into it. Yes, but it's over a coverage area. So if they're 100% sure that there's rain in them, they're clouds that are coming in off the sea, but they're not sure it's going to get there. Because Auckland's such a, for example,

most of our cities are wildly different. Like geographically, Wellington, there's hills, so it could hit the hills. The hills could get the rain, but then by the time it gets up in the valley, maybe there's no rain left in the clouds

or the valley would get it before it hits the hills. So they're sure some of this area is going to get rain, but only this much of that predicted area. So it's not just as simple as...

It's very stressful when you've got the towels on the line, isn't it? It is. So do I hang the towels out of what? Yeah, do I hang the towels out of what? Do we hang the towels out of worn or not? Roll the dice, baby.

I'm going to put them in the dryer. It's like he said, it could say that it's 10% chance of rain, but if you are that area that's right in the line that's going to get it, you could get flooding. Oh, God, and then my towels will be drenched. Oh, the towels. Just leave them in the line. I always call it a second wash.

I love your positivity. It's a double point. Extra clean. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the rat-infested ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello. Japan has assigned a minister of loneliness. Oh, that is so sad.

Yeah. Tetsushi Sakamoto is the first ever Minister of Loneliness. He is also the Minister of Managing the Nation's Falling Birth Rate and Strengthening Regional Economies. And we all said it was for old people, but apparently not. Apparently this is just a, they're calling it an epidemic. A loneliness epidemic. A loneliness epidemic.

I don't think I could ever fall victim to this epidemic because I don't get lonely. I love my own company. Yeah, love a bit of solo time. I wish everyone would just go away more often. Yeah, me too. You know? More space.

Apparently Japan's females are particularly affected by loneliness. Do we have a Minister of Mental Health? Or is that just under Minister of Health? It's under Health, isn't it? Yeah. Okay. I think it would fall under the Health portion. No, we don't.

We don't, okay. Health. Apparently, a lot of Japanese women, as society changes, are not married. They have to support their own lives. They don't have permanent jobs. And when something happens, they're the ones that are hit hardest. So...

You typically, well, Japan is in the past been quite a traditional country, hasn't it? Yeah. In the way they conduct their lives. Yeah. And that, you know, women maybe are married and have children and the men earn the money and that kind of old school way of thinking. Well, it was like here when the unemployment went up,

it was 90% of it were females that had lost their jobs. And in Japan it was the same. So the hardest hit are now stuck at home, can't get new jobs, feeling the loneliness. There's a Minister of Loneliness. I've got the top six other ministerial posts

2021 might just need. Okay. Number six on the list is the Minister of Crying in the Shower. It's a great place for a cry. The shower. Because it hides the tears, doesn't it? Yeah. What's water, what's tears? Yeah. But I mean, no one else can see you, so

you can cry. But I also just like hot water pouring on me while I cry. Yeah. Just keep turning the heat up. Yeah. Hotter. Hotter. Number five on the list of the top six other ministerial posts 2021 majors need. The minister of just taking a breath in a minute for yourself.

Yeah, good. Out in nature, maybe. Yeah, maybe. Or maybe just one of these breaths amongst the chaos. Oh, that sounds like you're about to have an argument. Gathering your chi for the upcoming battle. Oh, yelling. Number four on the list of the top six ministerial posts 2021 majors need,

the Minister of Drinking at Home Alone. Yeah. I'll put myself fourth at Home Alone. Yeah. I'll put myself forth in that position. I don't know if they're checking on you or they want to know that you're doing it right. I'm not quite sure of that position. You told us the other day you were on bead in your knickers drinking a gin.

Yeah, I was. At two o'clock in the afternoon. I was so hot. It was a good time for gin. Yeah. I was confused. I'm tired. This whole schedule of morning radio is throwing me off.

Oh, yeah, it'll melt the brain in no time. Number three on the list of the top six other ministerial positions 2021 might just need. The Minister of Hiding from Everybody at Work just because it got a bit much. You know? Sure. It can be in the toilet cubicle.

It can be in the cleaning products cupboard. Here at work, there's a really cool space downstairs. If you go into the men's toilets in the basement, there's a door on the side. You open it up, you get to the pressure, the water pressure system, but keep going around the corner and in there, it's nice and dark and quiet. And because you're underground,

it sits at a pretty constant about 15 degrees. It's kind of like cold enough to remind you you're alive, but not cold enough to be too chilly. Number two on the list of the top six other ministerial positions 2021 may just need, the Minister of Binge Eating Your Feelings. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

The best way to push your feelings down is to pile food on top of it. And just keep on going. And number one on the list of the top six other ministerial positions 2021 may just need, the Minister of just never getting enough sleep ever, but also not going to bed early when you have the chance. Oh, yes. Or getting to bed early and being like I'm a hero and then staying on your laptop

for like three hours. Yes. Yeah. I had the ultimate, at like 7.45 last night, I was in the position where I could totally have gone to bed and got a really good night's sleep. And then I watched, I stayed up till like well past nine watching some stupid mini golf show. Oh.

Holy moly. Holy moly. It was just the dumbest thing I've ever seen, but I was like, I could do that. I could do, oh, could I do that? Kids, quit! Come and watch this! And then you're hyped up and you're awake for way too long.

That is today's top six. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. ZM's $50,000 secret sound. Tell them what the secret sound is. Well, Soundkeeper Owls joins us. Good morning, Soundkeeper Owls.

Morning, morning. How are we? Good. We had a jackpot yesterday. We're at $20,000. That'd knock off a bit of your student loan, wouldn't it? Oh, no. See, it's Hayley who was just talking about his student loan.

IRD, I've received your email. I'm dealing with it. They're not nice emails, eh? Nope. I was going to close that tab, actually. It's triggering me. We'll pay it off eventually. Well, if we've had a jackpot, do you think it's time for a clue?

Yeah, I want a clue. So does everyone else. Even with a jackpot, they're think it's time for a clue? Yeah, I want a clue. So does everyone else. Even with a jackpot, they're not grateful. So after this guess, I'll give you a clue. I need it. It's keeping me awake at night. Yes. Rach joins us.

Good morning, Rach. Good morning. All right. So you have now got a shot at $20,000 cash. This is the secret sound. Why did your eye twitch, Hayley, every time I played that? Because that sound is haunting me. Your face, you don't look happy.

All right, Rach. Come on, Rach, get it right. No pressure, but $20,000 cash is yours if you can tell us what that is. I think it's the coat hangers that, like, on the rail and then they bang together. Yeah, my mother hates coat hangers, eh? Your mother hates coat hangers? Yeah, she just finds them so annoying and not useful. She just heaps her clothes in a pile on the floor.

What does mother do with her coats? Where does mother hang her coats? She'll fold them. Oh, mother, you don't her coats? She'll fold them. Oh my! Fold the coats? Fold wool? Apparently. She has lines in her clothes. Has to iron them. But she doesn't use

coat hangers at all. Well, she will, but just reluctantly. Yeah, that's the word. Reluctantly. Mother. Alright, the sound of coat hangers. Like metal coat hangers on a metal.

Or plastic? Do you mean when they're crashing together, Rach? Yeah, like, you know how they're on the, like, little bar and then they hit into each other? You know, especially if they're the wooden ones and it's in the video. Mm. I do have coat hangers in my little room.

You do? I'm looking at them right now. You're mostly plastic. It's also because you've got coats in little room. You do? I'm looking at them right now. You're mostly plastic. It's also because you've got coats in your room. Yeah, Gary's clothes. And any self-respecting person hangs their clothes. True. All right.

Rachel. It is Rachel. It is. Cool. Awesome. Hello. Hi. Thank you for your guess.

Good morning. Good morning. But that is not the secret sound. Ah! Ah! All right, hey, Rach, you get $100, so we're giving everybody that gets the wrong guess $100, so you don't lose.

It's all yours. We've got another shot at 8 o'clock, but you did promise. Why don't you give me a clue? Clue time. Clue, clue, clue. Yeah, okay, here you go. I've given it to you.

It's a riddle. Right. It will be up on our Instagram as well, ZDM Secret Sound, to actually read it again. Here it is. Roses are red. Violets are blue.

I need your hand. Here's your clue. And then the clue. That's the clue. No. Enjoy. I need your hand. Come on. Hayley needs to pay her first student loan.

This isn't helping. Even though I'm not allowed to enter, I want to know what it is. Well, I felt like that was pretty good. Like, we're getting somewhere, right? You ended it with, here is your clue, dot, dot, dot. All right, well, ZM Secret is down on Instagram to read through that clue, pour through all the wrong guesses that have been made. Your next shot is coming up at 8 o'clock.

Next on the show, we need to discuss Hayley's marsupial. I beg your pardon? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Hayley told us yesterday how angry she was with Greg Grover from Nova because he threw out... This is the guy on the ads that's actually your partner in real life. This is my fiance. Do you know, I meant to tell you, we got the double,

we got the double whammy. We got the skinny ad and then the Nova ad. Following each other. Yeah. I forgot to tell you, last night, yeah, I saw the Nova ad and it was immediately followed by the skinny ad that you're in and I was like, this would be what we'd call a double header. Good.

With all these TV ads you must be so close to paying off your student loan. Oh just stop talking about my student loan. I've had a very irate letter from the IRD.

You must be within tens of thousands of dollars of it now. Don't. They might be listening and then they're going to go and check and they'll see.

I just. I have the IRD they're already checking. So Greg Raver from Nova removed your sleepy marsupial, your koala. My koali. Koali the koala. So I've had koali since I was four years old.

My father brought him home from a trip to Australia. Oh, classic. And I liked koali. We connected straight away on a deeper level than all my other toys. And he's just stuck by my side and now he sleeps in the bed. Has done my whole entire life. Did he go through a goth stage like you did?

He didn't go through it himself, but he was shocked and disappointed in me. Every time I walked in the room, you could feel him being like, what the hell's going on now? Cheer up, Charlie. It must be manky. Like, how many years old is this?

26 years old? Yeah? 26 years old? Yeah, 27 years old. 27? I wouldn't say he's manky. Aaron thinks he's manky. So why did he remove your toy koala from the bed? He has these paws and they velcro together. Right.

Because Kweli was born female. Yeah. But identifies as male. and they Valkro together. Right. Because Kweli was born female. Yeah. But identifies as male. And when we first got Kweli. What a bad story. Transitioned or? Just always knew. It was never a question.

Right, okay, right. But he had a baby with him when he arrived and we got rid of the baby, but the Valkro held the baby. I don't think you have to just get rid of the baby, but the Valkyrie held the baby. I don't think you have to just get rid of the baby if you transition. Serve no purpose. It wasn't the right time. Right.

So you adopted the baby out to a new family. Where did the baby end up? No one knows. Oh, my God. It could be one of those lost and found episodes. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

Everyone's crying. Right. But he's got Valkyrie and it scratches Aaron in his sleep. Because I fall asleep cuddling the Kweli, not Aaron. While Aaron's cuddling you. So it's like a spoon train. Spoon train. Yeah.

Yeah. And when we get all tossy and like asleep. Sleep fight. Well, you sleep fight. Yeah, when we sleep fight, Kweli will often roll into the middle and scratch Aaron with his Velcro. And then, yeah, Aaron often tosses him across the floor. But the other day, he took a step further and put him in the wardrobe.

Closed the door. Rude. Very rude. So rude. Ruthless. But I just, I'll never part with this thing. Do you have a photo of this koala? Yeah, I will.

I'll find it for you. I just wanted to sort of judge. And does he need any running repairs? Yes, he had his head ripped off a number of times. So my mum has stitched it on. How do you have a photo in your phone of this? There's Kweli. Oh, my God, it's different colours.

The bottom's pink? He's like purple on the bottom, but we don't know how that's happened because he hasn't been washed separately, and we just imagine that the bottom half of him was made with a slightly different... White koala, I love him. A cheaper material. A slightly different fleece. I feel like I had a rabbit like that, that my mum still has at home. My mum had a koala for...

I remember growing up, but we weren't allowed to play with it. He was getting a wash. Oh, you have to be careful. Yeah, you do have to be careful. It looks like Lilo from Lilo and Stitch. Look at him. They're hanging him on the washing line with pegs by his ears. You've got to be careful. Yeah, you do have to be careful. It looks like Lilo from Lilo and Stitch. Look at him. They're hanging him on the washing line with pegs by his ears. You've got to be careful.

But I haven't washed him maybe in a few years now because he's so old that I do get nervous. Blow him apart. You definitely put koali on a delicate cycle. Oh, my God. He's not going in the machine, you monster. He's hand washing koali. A machine could tear into bits.

He doesn't smell or anything. But, you know, that's the Velcro there, that strip. Oh, yeah into bits. He doesn't smell or anything, but you know, that's the Velcro there, that strip. Oh my God, why don't you pick the stitching? And then underneath his paw, it'll be like he'll be the original colour still because it hasn't seen any light.

Yeah, he'll be all soft like his ears. Yeah. Well, maybe it's time to grow up. No, I will sleep with this thing. I slept with koali all through my wild 20s. Wow. And my late teens. And it's not changing.

Well, if the IAD are listening and they want that student loan, they could just kidnap the koala and... I'll pay anything. Well, a survey's been done. I think an insurance company's done this. A whole lot of random questions about your car. And the big one to come out of this survey, a third of drivers said their cars are so full of junk and rubbish,

there's no room for anyone to sit except for them. One third of drivers? Yeah. Which I would assume would make the passengers well and then everything, the back seats is full of crap. Oh, my God. I imagine if it's one third and we are a team of three, I'm the one.

Yeah, my car's not like flash clean or anything. Like I wouldn't enter it in a car show. But it's definitely like today we're taking it to the airport. Yeah. And guys, there's room for everybody and the generous trunk space in the Honda Accord will make itself ever-present. Yeah. So much room back there.

Whereas if you wanted to get, if I was to drive you guys to the airport. Well, you'd smell like piss because someone. It'd smell like wheeze because I still haven't sorted the someone weed in my vent system situation. But in the back, there's no room for your bags because I've got two boxes for the Salvation Army. They've been in there for about three months. I know, but that's three months.

The Salvation Army actually like you to let stuff just like mature in a box in your boot before you give it to them. And in the back seat, I've got two giant lampshades, also for the Salvation Army. And I've got hat buckets in there for, they're like big paint and buckets that have marching hats in them. And then a lot of rubbish, a lot of trash. Yep.

Glove box full. You can't put anything in there. What's in the glove box? Junk. Is there room for a passenger to sit? I can make room. But I'd have to go down ahead of time. You are the one third of people.

I am this person. I always have been. And every time I clean my car, I'm trying to be better because I did get a new car. You haven't even had this car that long and it's already in this condition. She's full to the brim. She's right up to the tippy top.

I've always been this person though. And then rubbish. You know, you eat something, you try to shove it in the side, you eat something, you drive it, shove it in the side, eat, drop some McDonald's and shove it under the seat. When I had a car

or when I borrow a car or rent one because I live in the city so I don't have a car. You're a cyclist. I'm a cyclist. I'd always use the service station as my little cleaner.

You put the pump in, press go and then while that's fuelling, just chuck all the rubbish in the service station forecourt. They love that. Yeah, I do do that from time to time, but some of it's not rubbish. Most of mine's not rubbish, I will say. Most of it's just junk.

Unorganised. I do live in a small home, so stuff I can't store in the house just comes into the car. Right. This is a sign you're a hoarder. Yeah. I'm not even going to fight that one, to be fair. You go through a car wash, and the outside of your car gets washed and then when it's

on the blow cycle, you just wind down all your windows. Oh, yeah. And it blows the rubbish out. It'll blow all the loose stuff out. Yeah. That's a good idea. Yeah. Needs a bit of a groom, but I'd have to do that thing where you clean the house before

the cleaner comes. I'd have to groom my car before the car groomer. Before the groomer had a lot. Had a lot. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. comes, I'd have to groom my car before the car groomer. I was packing my bag for work this morning and I thought today is a toast day. I bought a couple of slices of toast and I packed a little

pottle of my own of butter. Because I don't want to assume that the company has butter. I'm a temp. You know what I mean? There's people have butter and you can steal it but yeah it's a bit manky

yeah it is so I brought in a little a pottle of this butter and I thought maybe if you guys saw it you'd make fun of me

because it looks a bit silly and then much to my surprise I saw a pottle of your own Fletch when you came in and I thought

look at that he's also brought in not quite as much but little plops of butter. But it's not butter, is it? It looks like a collection of air wax samples. It looks like something you would send off to a lab. It does.

It looks very lab-esque because it looks brand new. Did you buy that specifically for this? Well, I had ages ago bought one of those, you know, those little travel kits that you buy and it's like a little shampoo, a little soap bottle, little bottle so you can put your liquids in, like your face wash. And then I had this left over, because I'm assuming it's for like makeup stuff.

Like facial moisturiser. Yeah, if you needed a bit of moisturiser, you'd put it in this. Because this would be enough for like a night away. Absolutely. A little travel pottle. So what have you put in there? So this is, I had a bit of a dilemma last night

because my lip balm has got, you know, it's one of those ones you screw at the bottom and it pops up like a lipstick. Yeah. It's cut off at the top. It's finished.

It's done. So it's up to the plastic bit and if I put that on my lips, it hurts. You're trying to point your lips into it? And then what I'd start to do is get my finger in there because there's still lots of lip balm in there, in that

thing. Because the base to hold the chapstick Well, I don't use a chapstick, that's addictive. It's got that little stick. It's got the little plastic stick. Is there a difference between chapstick and lip balm? What are you talking about? There's no difference between chapstick and lip balm. Chapstick's a brand.

Yeah, that's like saying all glad wrap is glad wrap. When it's not, it's home brand cling film. Oh, but I think a chapstick is the one that you crank up in a stick. Well, that's what this is, but it's not that brand. What brand is it? Well, it's just a brand. No. What brand is it?

It's that Aesop brand. Yeah, and it's expensive. It's that Aesop brand. Oh, what a bouge. Okay, I've tried so many lip balms, and this is the only one that doesn't get my lips addicted. Oh, I'm addicted to lip balm. And it's very expensive.

It is. And that's why I'm like, I've got to get every last drop of this. So you sat in your bathroom last night carving off. So I had three that had just stopped at the top. And so I got out a little chopstick. Oh, my Lord. And I got it all out. And look how much.

That's like a whole new lip balm. It looks like your grotty earwax. Yeah, it does. It looks like a grotty collection of yuck. And then I just put my finger in and I just get a little bit and put it on my lips. And it's just perfect. But we're in a recession. If you're paying $23 for a lip balm.

Yeah, we're in a recession. Get a Bloomin' Chapstick for two bucks. Yeah, get a Lucas. What happened to Lucas Pawpaw? You were all about Lucas Pawpaw. No, Lucas Pawpaw is just petroleum. Yeah, it doesn't work for me. You get cancelled as well for having any kind of...

Petroleum lips. Yeah, petroleum lips. Oh, petroleum lips over here. You're cancelled because of the dolphins. How much of the equivalent of a chapstick do you think you've fished out? I reckon a whole one. You reckon that's a whole? I reckon that's pretty up there.

But now I'm going to have to hide my pottle in shame. You should. It's grotty. It looks unhygienic up there. It does. It looks like a doctor's given you that and said, oh, just when you do cough it up, Mr. Fletcher, spit it in here and we'll get that off to the lab as soon as possible.

All right. The latest is next. Shocking news from actress Emma Watson. It's a bit sad, actually. Cash up for grabs today, again, from Nine, the bonus banger. Rihanna, didn't she just have her birthday? Yeah, same day as me. That's right.

We're 20. We're meant to be together. But she's way younger than you. Well, you're only as young as Yeah she is Yeah Fletch, Vaughn and Megan The podcast

ZM Vaughn is now in costume Are you coming in? Are you entering the chambers? Wow I'm dressed Describe my costume Well

Turn your wig around Because I can see the... Oh, shit. There we go. You are dressed as a barrister or a lawyer? I was going for judge. Judge. With the hat, you've put your cap on on top of the judge's wig.

Yeah. And now with the headphones, you look like some sort of like trippy DJ. Oh, like a famous DJ. I also want to comment on your judges' robes. You've got the purple sash there, the white collar, the black robes. The fabric looks cheap. Oh, yes. Very cheap.

It looks like a fire hazard next to a heater. I wouldn't stand anywhere near a heat source. I wouldn't light a cigarette or a candle near you. Right. How much of the show budget have you spent on this, judges? You've got a hammer. Yeah, the hammer, I just said I'll need the gavel, and I assumed for $18 this was going to be wooden, but it's not.

It's just... It's plastic. That's so comical sounding. I can't imagine you deliberating and then going... Order! Order! It's so plastic. Hey, we're going to Wellington. We should steal Trevor Mallard's,

the Speaker of the House. I don't know if you could just steal. Yeah, well. Do you remember how things happened when people stormed the Capitol and started stealing the Speaker of the House's stuff? Yeah, they all got away with it. Scott Freed, didn't they? No, I believe they're all awaiting trial.

Are they? Yes. All right, well, it's a brand new segment. Should I feel guilty? Should I feel guilty? Should I feel guilty? Order Yeah Okay we need a wooden hammer

Should we get What about those ones You know the A meat tenderiser Yes They would be cheap Here's a crazy thought This is radio

No one can see the hammer Why don't you just get like a Rolling pin Or a sound effect Better yet Or a sound effect I think yet. Or a sound effect. I think the gavel's helping you get into character, though. Yeah, definitely.

I feel a shift in your energy. Now, this is all because you received a message, a new segment called Should I Feel Guilty? Should I Feel Guilty? This person messaged saying, Hi, guys. I need your help to clear my conscience after something happened last week.

Please keep me anonymous. Okay. I was running late for my first week in an internship and I was in a complete fluster as I've recently ended a relationship and I'm, you know, feeling that. Okay. So you imagine that, the stress of life.

You've drained all over the place. The stress of life. You've got an internship. Yep. So you're getting paid probably mostly in work experience, which you cannot pay rent or mortgage with. And now they've been dumped. So presumably if they were living together,

their rent has doubled also. Oh, yeah. Okay. There were two car parks. And as I went to go into a car park, somebody in a Porsche parked in the car beside it. Okay. I noticed that the Porsche was well over the line.

Okay. And I thought it's Porsche was well over the line. Okay. And I thought it's going to be a tight squeeze. So I beep beeped as the Porsche driver exited the vehicle. Yep. And I said, excuse me, I'm not going to be able to fit very well. Okay. They shook their head and walked away. Rude. Rude.

Order in the court. Order in the court. The people are rioting. Order. So I squeezed my way in as I was running a little late. And it is my internship. You may remember that from previous in the statement. I grabbed my stuff, opened my door, granted a little too harshly, but due to the fact that he had not parked on his side of the line, there was a slight mark on the Porsche from my 1992 Corolla door.

The driver wasn't there. I was having a shitty day. That parked like an asshole. They wrote asshole, I don't know. Yeah, okay. I will not stand for that language in my courtroom. And clearly they've got a few pennies up their sleeve. Should I have left a note or do I count myself lucky?

I would like to submit a question. The council will hear. Boom, hit me. Boom, hit me. Boom, hit me. I believe that's the legal jargon there. Hip judge. You're a hip judge.

Boom, hit me. Boom. That's the legal jargon there. Hip judge. You're a hip judge. Boom, hit me. Did this anonymous move their car afterwards to make it less obvious? They don't say, but you would, right? I would. I'd buy it at the park. Or you'd run in to work and be like, I'm going to be in in two minutes. I'm just parked in a loading zone. I am here, but parking's a nightmare.

Yes. Yeah. Okay. That doesn't help me. But I'd imagine you're not leaving it there because the Porsche driver would come back, they could see the Porsche mark. They've got a Porsche, so they're rich. I wouldn't give two cares in the world about accidentally marking their door when they

park like that. What if they've inherited it? I think people, they might have worked really hard. The Porsche might have been their dream car. They might have foregone a whole lot of things to have that Porsche. They parked over the line. But that's the issue. They parked like an a-hole.

They alerted to them to their parking that was over the line. And it was the over the line issue that then led the door to hit the car. Regardless of what brand of car it is, if they parked like that and the person alerted to them to the fact because they wanted to park it there,

then responsibility surely falls somewhat on the person not parking there. Your Honour. Also, on the manufacturer, Porsche making very soft doors. Your Honour. Oh, if you're paying $100,000 for a car, you want a sturdy door. A hard door. Yes.

Your Honour, I would like to submit some information that may be of use to this trial. Okay. I'm an open book. I've just looked up the base price for a Porsche in New Zealand, and the base price is $341,000. No! What kind of Porsche is that? That's a high-end Porsche.

Did she say what kind of Porsche it was? No, it doesn't go into the details of the Porsche. This is the Cayenne Turbo SE Hybrid 500 RV SUV. The Cayenne's one of those big four-wheel drivey ones. That's nice. In my head, it was a... Oh, is that how much those are? $300,000.

That's nice. If you've got a $300,000 car and some Corolla marks it... Yeah. But also, why I drive my Honda, like, I'm like, excuse me, let me in, and the Porsche is not making room for me. I'm like, well, buddy, I'll tell you who's going to come out better out of this. It's the guy driving the $2,500 Honda who's fully insured.

Oh, yeah. Do judges not get paid that much? I'm only – I do a lot of community cases. Yeah. I donate a huge amount of my earnings to charities. So if you look at the more sporty models, $122,000, $124,000.

It's an expensive car. It's the brand, isn't it? You're paying for the badge. Also, on the other side of things, it's still somebody's car and you've done that to their car. Whether or not they were parked over the line, that's still a shitty thing to do. It is. And we've all been had a little scratch or a hit from a car

that hasn't left a note before. I certainly have. I was lucky the last time this happened to me. It was outside a cafe, and the cafe owner put a note on my window screen saying, I saw the car, here's its number plate, good luck. Oh, good, yes. And I got him.

I went straight to the police. Gotcha. And what happened? They paid. Did they? Yeah. Because I was there and I was like. I went straight to the police. And what happened? They paid. Did they? Because I was there and I was like, order! Order! So the question is, should I feel guilty? Should they feel guilty?

Alright, well maybe you've been in this situation. I've got enough on their plate. They're single now. They just broke up. They're an intern so they're probably not getting paid that much. The person parked badly. I think this is going to be really interesting to see what people listening think. Because I think the Porsche and the fact that the other person is quite rich probably like... Pays a little bit of it.

Yeah. At the same time, it's still a bad thing to do. I just think it's more karma for the person who parked like a douchebag. All right. 0800-DARLS-IT-M. We want you to call us now. You can text as well, 9696. Should they feel guilty about dinging the door of a Porsche

when the Porsche driver parked over the line and refused to move their car? I think they should feel guilty. We'll be back next. I don't know if that's what judges do. No, it's what Judge Judy does. Ewan, what do you think? She should feel guilty about it.

She should have probably actually paid for it. Whoa. Like left her number. Left her details and said, you parked like a douche. Sorry about the dent, but here's my details. Douche will not be used in this court of law. I don't know.

I mean, this is an intern who probably earns no money. Does she have insurance? I'm going to doubt that she has an insurance on this terrible woman. Well, at least she shouldn't have a car. You and your speaking are like somebody who has had the car dinged and left. Yes. What kind of car did you drive? Is this some sort of Porsche club?

Has there been some message went out on the Porsche New Zealand owners' Facebook page? Ring them in. Say Porsche people are good people. No, no, company car. Okay. Oh, company car. Who cares then? Who cares?

Who cares? That's not your car. All right. Hey, Ewan, thanks for your call. Nicole, what do you think? They should not feel bad. The guy was being an arsehole, so he deserved it. Order in the courtroom it Order in the courtroom

Order Order in the courtroom Hang on She'll get contempt of court With language like that Young lady I think that you're condemning The Porsche driver too much

You say they're being an a-hole But all they did was Park badly and get out It's not like they got out And But they did They did say They did ask them to move

And they just Left it It's calmer If you're gonna park like They did ask them to move and they just left it. It's karma. If you're going to park like that and then refuse to move, then you deserved it. Yes, the court recognises karma. Nicole, what about if it was a $2,000 car? If they still did the same thing, then I don't care.

Karma. Karma. All right. Thank you, Nicole. Morena Jess, what do you reckon? Should they feel guilty about scratching this Porsche? No, if they've asked them to move

and they've been a bit of a snob, don't feel guilty. If it was an accident, it's an accident. Yeah, and somebody said they would have opened the car door harder if they didn't set off the alarm. Then you haven't hit their car hard enough. The only kicker is if they parked over the line, their insurance haven't hit that car hard enough. The only kicker is if they parked over the line,

their insurance probably won't cover it. Oh, really? Oh. Order. That is a different case for a different day, Jess. Order.

Stay on task, please. Hey, GSX, do you call? Right, well, in summation, and taking into account lots of opinions. Yep.

And then pushing them to the side into account lots of opinions. Yep. And then pushing them to the side because I'm the judge. Yep. Look at me, boy. What I'm talking about. I should have been a southern judge. Out in the courtroom. Out in the courtroom.

Look at me when I'm talking to you, boy. The character's developing. This costume is really bringing him out. I'm saying, boy, I'm as hot as hell up here. I've got to make my summation. So I would say the general consensus is, due to the Porsche driver ignoring the driver's request to nudge over just a little bit, regardless of what sort of car, and then flippantly dismissing them.

Yep. And it being an accident, we rule in favour of the... Defenders. What would it be? accident, we rule in favour of the... Defenders. What would it be? No, the other one. Plaintiff. No, the defender.

I don't know. The person. There's lots of legal people very upset about... The person that emailed in. We rule in favour of the person that emailed in. Not guilty. You should not feel guilty. Yay!

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Fact of the day, day, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about obsidian glass. Oh, what is that? Obsidian glass. I've heard that before glass. I think you're part of it. Oh, what is that?

Obsidian glass. I've heard that before. Yes, I am. Five points to you if you get it. Obsidian. Obsidian. That's obsidian. I was just trying it in a different sentence.

Obsidian glass. What is it? It's volcanic glass. That's right. Yes. It's glass. It's like sand and silicon heated to a point and a bit of rock matter in there. I think you can get obsidian and it's like that black.

And do people make that when they put a metal spike in the beach and they hope that lightning hits it and it makes like jagged... Are you talking about the wonderful movie Sweet Home Alabama? I don't know. Never? How are you referencing the Reese Witherspoon... Classic....from Com? Who's what that guy does. How are you referencing the Reese Witherspoon? Classic. Rom-com.

Who's that guy, Lucas? Lucas, um... Blonde guy. Yeah, blonde guy. And he's like, he plays the bad guy in movies. And then he was in this one and everyone loved him. He was like her boyfriend from back in Alabama. I'm from Alabama.

Are you looking up how to make that glass? I thought you were looking up who starred in Sweet Home Alabama with Rizwaz. No, when lightning hits a sandy beach high in silica or quartz and the temperature goes beyond 1,800 degrees Celsius, the lightning can fuse the sand into silica glass. Silica glass, yeah, that's different than city glass. Yeah, different than, okay. But it looks cool.

And there's amazing pictures of it. It looks like... Just while we're looking at that, Josh Lucas. Josh Lucas, that is his name, yeah. He was underrated. He was quite a hottie, and I don't think he ever really got the props for that. Right.

Obsidian. Obsidian glass. It looks incredible. Yeah, it is. If you Google it, it's a really out there looking glass. I mean, if you could find some, you could definitely convince people it had some sort of healing properties.

Oh, yeah. You rub it over your skin and you'll lose 20 kgs. Don't, though. Because obsidian glass is as sharp as modern surgical equipment. What? Oh, wow. It can be as sharp as modern surgical equipment. They found some holes in some old skulls at an archaeological dig site

and they're perfectly like... That's not going to make a hole. That's going to go in a hole. I'm just showing that actually obsidian glass has lots of uses. That's an adult fun toy. And that's a sculpture. I think we call that an adult sculpture. Fun toy.

I'm a little pre- Is that for sale? It's online. $50. Is that all? A obsidian glass. Someone's getting for their birthday in June. Fletch.

Oh my God. Carl Peter Fletcher. The obsidian glass wizard. As you were. I beg your pardon. No, no, no. That's fine. Sometimes you've got to take these tangents because they're worth it.

As this one has proven to be. So they found a skull with a hole in it, and they're like, this is a really good, clean hole for how old this skull is. And then they found close by obsidian glass, and apparently it had been so sharp at the time that they'd used it to cut into the brain. Because you know that was the old, if you had a headache too often, they're like. Oh, you poke the brain. Yeah. Yeah, problem's the brain. Because you know that was the old, if you had a headache too often, they're like... Poke the brain. Yeah.

Problems the brain, drill into it. And then they'd drill in and hopefully let out the demons. But it can be apparently 30 angstroms, which is a unit of measurement equal to 100 millionth of a centimetre. Sharp. And that's how, obviously, if the point comes to that sharpness, it can be that sharp. So that is how sharp

obsidian glass can be and it rivals modern surgical equipment and lasts longer because those blades dull but this doesn't. So today's fact of the day is obsidian glass, volcanic glass, can be sharper than modern surgical equipment,

so handle with care. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do do do.