ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 25th November 2021

Episode Date: November 24, 2021

Mushrooms  Instant Kiwi  7000L of Beer!  Disposable Masks  Worlds Most Chaotic Gameshow!  What's your emotional comfort food?  It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Clay. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe, barista made coffee available, drive-thru and mic delivery at level 3, and also dine-in at level 2. Megan doing some Christmas wrapping behind the scenes.

I'm wrapping the presents for the 12 days of Fletchmas, actually, because I quite enjoy wrapping and I'm very fastidious about it. Well, you're the only one out of anyone I know or hear at work that actually wraps things nicely. See, I've always wanted to do the wrapping at the malls, but you have to be quite fast. No, you take too long.

I take my time. Yep, you'd have a giant line to be down to the food court. Maybe I could start a business where people drop off all their presents and I wrap them for them and then they pick them up again. You'd get it all bloody mixed up and it would be a comical Christmas rom-com. Someone opens their present on Christmas morning, Grandma opens it and it's a dildo. And Grandma's like, just what I wanted.

Yeah, Grandma might love it. Yeah, and then somebody else opens Grandma's bloody cardigan from Posty Plus. No, like, oh, I wanted a dildo. Everybody wants a dildo. Speaking of which, 12 days of Fletchmas. If you are in the country and you'd like to register, ZM Online, tell us if you're on the naughty or nice list. Look at that prize.

Oh, that's a good one. That's fucking nice. That's portable. ZM's F. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleeche Vaughan. And Megan Vaughan's back

from his sickness. Yeah. I've got a negative COVID test if anybody is listening this morning and thinks I sound like I'm riddled with the vid. We thought your late night poker games with Duncan Garner

had really caught up with you there. No, because we stopped kissing. I said, if you've got COVID, we can't be kissing. Okay, so you don't have it. So I just sent him a picture of my genitals. Instead. This, um, Judith Collins. Simon Bridges, House of Cards.

Political House of Cards shit, yo. It is really House of Cards, isn't it? This is, what a day. So apparently there's a press conference at some stage today with Judith and the MP that Simon made the allegations to. Now a source inside the Beehive. Of course you've got a source inside the Beehive. Has told me.

So when I woke up this morning, I started texting other people in the media. I was like... What do you know? I was like, what did Simon Bridges say to this woman? I need to know. But I don't think anybody knows. Does your source... Not the exact words, but apparently it was raised with Bill English.

It was later at the time and Simon Bridges said sorry. It happened five years ago. Like, this is a grenade from Judith Collins. She's been sitting on it, and now she's pulled the pin. Oh, it's going to make people vote for bloody David Seymour. Now they're going to leave the National Party. We don't need him. Have you seen him play basketball?

Play basketball on the news? Has he seen him do anything? Seen him interact with other humans in a natural manner? No, you haven't because it hasn't happened. I'm loving all the carnage. This is going to be a great day. Coming up on the show, your chance to win cash. $500 with our Cookie Time cookie flip.

We're going to do that again before 7 today on the show. Vaughan Smith, the top six is coming up. Yeah, there's going to be a strike by some people who work at Countdown. Okay. It's going to be a workers' strike. This is at the distribution centre. Yes.

So they're saying that you might see a few gaps, not that we've already... Oh, there's already gaps. There's already gaps, yeah. So muggers are getting good at, like, just spreading the stuff they do have out. I know the other day I went to get something and they just put a line on the front shelf

and there was nothing behind it. What kind of line? Just a couple. Like not a line of the product. Oh. They were just boxes and then there was like nothing behind them. I was like, oh, cheeky. Like chicken in the fridge and they just like spread it out

more and more and more as the shelf starts emptying. They're getting good at it though. It's like when you take booze from the booze cabinet when you're a kid and you've got to kind of like rearrange it to make it look like you haven't. But I've got the top six other things you won't see the Countdown Bricks characters doing that are happening at Countdown.

Alright, next on the show. There is evidence that a certain veggie could help slow down ageing. It's not a veggie. Don't say what it is. It's not a veggie. Don't say what it is. It's not a veggie. Is it not a vegetable? No.

Well, it's not a fruit. No, it's technically something else. Something else. But if I said what it was, you'd know what it was. It would be very easily identifiable. Well, it's next. ZDM's Fletchborn and Megan. You just said that these things weren't classed as a vegetable.

This vegetable apparently is the key to stop ageing But the US Department of Agriculture has said that they are a vegetable They've classed them as a veggie So like an official apology for this I shan't, I shan't It turns out that mushrooms 13 different varieties of mushrooms Contain two particular antioxidants and high amounts of them.

I don't know how to say the full one, so I'll use the shortened version. Ergo and GSH, they counter cell damage and the damage done by free radicals. Really? More than any other vegetable because vegetables apparently get it from the fungi in the soil. And because this is a fungi, it has the highest levels than any other vegetable. It's not a vegetable though because it's technically not even a plant. It's a completely different kingdom. It's a fungi. The fungus.

Yeah. 13 different varieties too. I, unlike I love mushrooms, you know, when we go to the cafes. Yeah, you'll always get a creamy mushroom. You know, I always love a creamy mushroom. Creamy. Yeah, you'll always get a creamy mushroom. You know, I always love a creamy mushroom. Yeah. And I never understand when vegetarians or vegans are like,

I don't know how you're a vegetarian and you're not relying on them as a meat alternative all the time. Oh, so good. They're so yum. So wild mushrooms, especially porcini. Porcini? You say they're, huh? I only know buffalo. Are they the ones that make you trip balls?

They're the ones that have the most. But even like white button mushrooms have it as well. The cutest of all the mushrooms. They are cute with their little buttons. And the portobello, the big brown ones, they're really good for a breakfast. I don't know if I'm bored with shiitake. No, they're shiitake.

They're the real kind of flappy ones? Yeah, they get a bit flappy. I'm only just delving into mushrooms, and I'm only really into the buttons, but I'm doing like brown buttons and white buttons. But I haven't like gone into portobellos. Why have you not been on board? We hypnotised her so she could eat them.

That's right. I hated mushrooms, like yuck, and they would hypnotised her so she could eat them. That's right. I hated mushrooms. Like, yuck. And they would flavour everything. But now I eat them. And she's looking younger too, have you noticed? Am I? So much younger.

Have you noticed? Oh, my God. What do you want? It's the mushrooms. Yeah, it's definitely the mushrooms. The king oyster mushrooms? I'm just looking at all these different types of mushrooms. Well, you can only normally get like two or three at the supermarket.

It's just like buttons and portabellos. And then where do you get all those fancy ones from? Well, I've got a supplier that can get you some of that. Some of them. They just walk into the forest and just start picking them, don't they? No, no, they don't. Really? There's a couple of lasses on a farm out towards the west coast.

Oh, are you serious? I thought you were talking about tripping mushrooms. No, no, no. You've actually got a mushroom hookup. I've got a mushroom hookup. They probably get really sick of me because

I constantly badger them on Instagram. What are you doing? Explain that. What's happening? They get these logs and they drill holes in them and they put the mushroom spores in them and then cork them and the mushrooms grow out of the like rotting wood. Wow, that's pretty cool. Fascinating to watch. Let me tell you the Instagram account so you can watch all this.

Do they time lapse it? And then they sell them in like this, just this like little store on their farm. Motutara underscore farm underscore produce. Look. Oh, those are potatoes. Oh, look. Here's their mushrooms. Look.

Wow. Oh, wow. What's that? Is that an oyster? I think that's an oyster mushroom. Wow. $12 for that big box of mushrooms? That's not bad.

That's really, that's a lot of mushrooms Yeah you gotta get in there You wanna get them fresh Wow It's a Yeah Motu Tata Farm Produce Guys if I went through your like

Who you follow on Instagram It's a very confusing algorithm I tell you I confuse algorithms Very confusing Play ZM's Flesh Fallen Megan Do you guys ever When you're scratching an instant kiwi thing

I wonder who made this Do you know, I No Haven't bought one for a while Yeah, but it's Christmas You always scratch on it Christmas Last weekend I was like I turned and I looked and I looked at it and I was like

Treat yourself Really? I've got a good feeling about this I bought one of those ones to win a Ford Ranger and I looked at it and I was like, hmm. Treat yourself. Really? I've got a good feeling about this. I bought one of those ones to win a Ford Ranger because I'm like, if any arrogant white prick deserves a Ford Ranger, it's this guy. I want to join the team of arrogant white pricks

who drive Ford Rangers. This guy. How'd that go? Didn't win. I see you got to work today in the Honda. Well, if I'd won it, imagine that doesn't go

and appear at your house. There'd be some paperwork. You'd think you'd get it pretty quickly. But yeah, no, I didn't win. But you've never wondered like, I wonder who makes these scratches or how they even make them. I have wondered how they'd made them, yeah. Like what's the stuff that goes on top that just easily scratches off? That I would love some of because I think you could have some real fun with that.

But also I wonder what you've got to, can you paint it on thin or spray it on however you get it on does it have to be on a specific surface it wouldn't just work on ordinary paper would it because you know you scratch some things and you're like oh this is rubbish i've gone through yeah um well instant kiwi uh lotteries have put out the tender uh for people to make the instant kiwi scratchies that we all love and use. Who is making it? At the moment, a Canadian company, Scientific Games, makes them. So they must, like, print them all and send them here. Anybody else think it's time we heist? Steal all the instant Kiwis.

Do you remember when there was a thing of people stealing reels of instant Kiwis and they'd be like, well, we know exactly what numbers are gone, so we'll just void the entire ticket. You can't do that. Nah. Because they've got to be scanned when you buy it. To activate it. So they say they're very happy with Scientific

Games, a Canadian company that makes it but it's just something they have to do. They have to put it out to Tinder. So I don't know if you have the ability to make Instant Kiwis and you want to be in on the, apparently you've got to be in on the design process and everything. I don't know. It's a long game in designing them, isn't it?

They're anywhere between 40 and 45 games at a time. 1,300 stores across the country achieving $136 million revenue in the 2021 financial year. $136 million revenue in the 2021 financial year. $136 million. I expected it to be more. I expected it to be more, but I guess they've got to pay the prizes. Because you get a lot of tickets, you always get a couple of scratches. Yeah, but then that's a dollar a time, right?

I always round it up to the next 10. Like if you're getting a $24 lotto ticket, because don't buy strike, that's a waste of time. You get the Powerball and you get your main lotto. And then it's like $24. I always round it up six more dollars to $30. Right. A nice little round up there.

High roller. Oh, yeah, baby. I'll tell you what, this high roller might as well be throwing $6 straight in the tip. Because he could have bought a Ford Ranger by now. Yeah, probably. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. You know, I don't like waste. I don't like seeing things go to waste.

Waste not, want not. One man's trash, another man's treasure. Although one man's trash, another man's wife saying, you don't need that. Don't you bring that home. So we have outside our apartment building at the moment, we're doing organics, an organic collection. Yeah.

How do you do that? You go to the posh suburbs when it's inorganics. I'm talking your Remmers. I'm talking your Sint-Halliers, your Koh-i-Maramas. You get some good stuff out there on the side of the road. Before I moved to Auckland, there will be people not knowing what I'm talking about. Because before I moved to Auckland, I didn't know what this was. People just put piles of trash outside their house on the front lawn or on the side of the street.

And then the council comes and picks it up once a year but it's not trash it's it's got to be like you know furniture or but it's stuff or it's stuff like i tell you what if you're after a charcoal barbecue to get into a little bit of low and slow for summer go for a look because rich people buy charcoal barbecues and then they're like oh this isn't as easy as i thought it's admin i'm gonna keep the things lit oh i just had a gas i've got another inside that's how you, this isn't as easy as I thought. It's admin. I've got to keep the things lit. I just had a gas. I've got an oven inside. That's how you got one, isn't it? Yep. I tell you what, there's bargains to be had.

So we had this pile of stuff outside and it's all gone. There was like a teddy couch. It was not bad. And they were like, oh, a teddy. A tatty. A tatty couch. I didn't say. I imagined a couch that was just two big titties.

I did not say titties. And you sat in the middle. You said a teddy couch. Producer Jared, you said a titty couch. I imagined a couch that was just two big titties. I did not say titty. And you sat in the middle. He said a titty couch. Producer Jared, can we have an audio replay? I did not say titty. He said titty couch. I imagined you sat in between the titties and you put your hands on the nipples. It was a tatty couch.

I said tatty. It sounded like you said titty. Quick vote if you're listening. 9696, did it sound like you said titty couch? I said teddy couch. There's no such thing as a titty couch. Well, there bloody should be. I don't know how long it's going to take Producer Jarrod to get a replay.

It could take a little while. Maybe we'll come back to you, Producer Jarrod. I thought it would have been couches that look like titties. And what was it? You googled titty couch. And it was people on the couch with their titties out. Okay, well, anyway. I think I saw a penis.

On work time, that's a bonus. Someone heard titty couch. Titty. What's a titty couch? You all need to clear your bloody ears out. Yeah, someone said titty. Two other people said you definitely said titty. Producer Jared now has an audio replay.

Oh, he's swift. Outside, and it's all gone. There was like a teddy couch. It was not bad. Teddy! Teddy! It wasn't teddy. You hear what you want to hear, don't you?

I might have titties on the mind. You hear what you want to hear, don't you? But my point was, because you were talking about Waste Not Warnock. Yeah, people at the moment are just absolutely about upcycling. And I'm all for it. There's a West Coast brewery and it has been sold

I guess. Oh, actually it's gone into liquidation. Haha. Pun because it makes liquids delicious. Oh, but also sad because of business. Oh, yeah. So, it's not. I've got to test. It's negative. It's not I got a test It's negative It's just when I run out of breath

I can't get nothing Every time someone sneezes or coughs Now they're going to be like Oh it's negative Oh my god I was at the supermarket I'm negative by the way I'm negative

I was the master Because you've got a natural defence Don't you? No apparently not No because School was open for two days and my children brought home a cold that absolutely killed me for two days. So

I was at the supermarket and I felt a cough coming on and I was like, I can't cough. No, you can't cough. I'll be shunned. So I had to find an empty aisle and I hid right in the middle and I got down like I was looking for something in the bottom shelf and I was like I had this shameful cough into my elbow

fully masked. Yeah, shame on you. But anyway, I've got the negative test I can show you both email and text. Okay. So this beer this company's gone out of business

they couldn't find anybody to buy it and excise duty hadn't been paid on it which you have to pay for every litre of beer produced so they had to dump it. excise duty hadn't been paid on it, which you have to pay for every litre of beer produced. So they had to dump it. In the river! Nah, down the

drain. But doesn't that go to the sea? Eventually, yeah. Do they have to prove that they dumped it? Westport's drains couldn't handle the 7,000 litres being dumped all at once so they have to do a slow dump. Oh, that seems wasteful. Which is like one of those ones where you sit down and you look on your phone for ages and then you realise you've been there for 25 minutes.

That's the slow dump. Maybe they could just get people to come along with their flagons. It does seem very wasteful. It's so wasteful, right? Could you do a slow dump on a Friday night into everyone's glasses? Yes. It does seem very wasteful. Absolutely.

I don't know if it's bubbly or not. I don't know much about, yeah, home brew, making your own. Is it a brewery or a bar or both? It's a brewery with a bar attached. With a bar. Maybe they've got some tatty couches for sale. I reckon get in there and get off your tatties. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Megan.

So we are wearing masks all the time. And a lot of people have opted, especially in Auckland, for cloth masks or like, you know, a fabric one that's kind of cute and matches your outfit in some way. What is on there? I think my porridge is on my mask. You need to give that a wash. That's a weird white stain. I get lots of compliments on my little black holographic one. You do have a nice mask, but do you not find that too thick?

Like summer's coming, it's getting all muggy. Yeah. I prefer, I know it's bad for the environment, but the blue disposables. And I'll use the hell out of this. Yeah. I don't know if you meant to, but. Well, there's been a study into which masks are better, and they've said that those disposable medical masks are better.

Even if you wash them up to 10 times, they'll still outperform three layers of cotton. Wow. This wash. Would you do a hand wash in the shower? I think you'd hand wash. Because if I put this in with my weekly towel wash, that'll get all fluffy and pilled.

Yeah. I had no idea you could wash them. Well, they're quite a thick material. Yeah. I mean, I guess you try and then if it doesn't work. But the thing is, I would have thought,

so this one I've got is way thicker than that. But then they're still saying three layers of, this is two layers, three layers of cotton. But is that top layer cotton? I don't know what it is.

So, okay, so because disposable masks have tiny little, hardly any holes, right? Yeah. Compared to cloth, cotton. Like microscopically, when you look at the fabric up close, you might think, yeah, you've got a three layer cotton. But microscopically, big giant holes in there. Yeah. And they've said that they've worked for years perfecting those medical masks to perform well in, you know, situations like surgery. Yeah.

And they've perfected them. Right. Whereas people have just started making these, you know, fabric masks that might not necessarily fit your face very well, might be a bit too floppy. So if you're going out, you want it to match you. It's, um... Yeah. But, yeah, that was the argument. When they first come out and people are like,

I can't breathe. It's like, if someone can wear this for 10 hours of brain surgery and remain focused, I think you can walk around the supermarket in it. Yeah. You'll be fine. Interesting, just on the current outbreak, the government have started releasing the death numbers.

And of those, how many of them were vaccinated? Oh, yeah. So they've been doing this in Australia for a while. The other day, Melbourne had its second highest death toll. 19 people died. In one day. In one day. I think their highest is 20 something.

And that was the previous, like, last year. Of those 19 people that died, 17 were unvaccinated. And in New Zealand, the current outbreak, 15 people have sadly died, and of those, only three were fully immune after having two vaccinate... Both jabs. There were a couple of deaths where people had had one jab.

Right. But the vast majority of those unvaccinated. And you can look all over the world at figures from countries. Same thing. Any ages in there? Not of the dead people, but in the current outbreak, is it one in five or one in four or under nine? Yeah.

Kids. So kids have gone back to school and it's... That sucks. Horrible, eh? Yeah, really horrible. So yeah, wear your mask, wear cotton or probably disposable now. Yeah. And give them a wash.

And you can wash them up to 10 times, apparently. ZDM Splits, Warren and Megan. From the triangular ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Kia ora, good morning. Oh. Listen to this deep. The one thing I like about having a cold is how much better my voice sounds. How deep it makes it sound.

It just goes deeper. Yeah. And I'll be back to this in no time. Today there is a strike at the Countdown Distribution Centre. So they've actually been warning people, haven't they, saying there may be some gaps in the shelves at some stores but there are already

aren't there with gaps in the shelves any stores at the moment yeah some stuff missing but you won't see that happening at the Countdown

Bricks characters with the trucks and everything yeah the bricks and the stuff they're giving away they go Jared's got a whole set

doesn't he made the whole supermarket parked his car outside. Yeah, loves it. He loves it. His Hyundai EV. Yeah, he goes home and he goes, vroom, vroom. No, he goes, zzzz.

Because it's electric. Yeah. So off the back of that, I've got the top six other things you won't see the Countdown Bricks characters doing that happen at supermarkets. Number six, teenage Countdown Bricks produce department workers making out amongst the freshly delivered carrots Yeah Are you allowed to just

make out with your work mate? Well no it's absolutely frowned upon I'd go through the flappy thing You know the flappy plastic curtain that sucks the flies The flappy plastic curtain

Yeah You could kiss them there Yeah Absolutely Yeah Well I just know from my experience, when I was a teenager at the local countdown,

two people that worked at the produce department were always smooching. Yeah, did they ever have hickeys? They had hickeys, but I don't know if they acquired them next to the broccoli. Do you know, in your absence yesterday, we learned that Megan has never made passionate love

and received a hickey. Received a hickey. I've never received a hickey. Given a hickey? No. You've never been on either end of a hickey. Received a hickey. I've never received a hickey. Given a hickey? No. You've never been on either end of a hickey. Maybe it's just, I don't know, it's never appealed to me. What, like a visual hickey?

Nowhere on the body? I've never had a hickey anywhere on the body. You want to get one of these hickeys? One of these sexy side hickeys here. On your rib? Down your side? Yeah, you know how people get tattoos It's very close to your armpit. Yeah. It's all go down there. It's an erogenous sign. The ribs. For you.

I'm so glad I know that. I play them like the xylophone. Okay. Moving on. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Number five on the list of the top six other things you won't see Countdown Bricks characters doing. Shooting the trolleys at the trolley bay from across the car park.

Oh, I love doing that. You're not allowed to when you work there because the damage is... Yeah, boo. Just that real. Shove and then it go, woggle, woggle, woggle, woggle. The wheel will get a wobble. You'll be like, damn it, come round, come round, come round. Well, you know when you wind up a trolley and you shoot it down the trolley bay

and it hits the side of the trolley in front and it doesn't go in? Dang, yeah. I hate that when you hit the side. Bad alignment. You front and it doesn't go in. Dang. Yeah, that's a bad alignment. You've got to allow for that. Always got to allow for that. Number four on the list of the top six other things you won't see Countdown Bricks characters doing that I've seen happen at a supermarket. You won't see them popping a vape by the electric car charging parks.

No. So 2021, beside the part where you charge your electric car, someone's smoking a robot cigarette. Yeah. It really is. We are living in the future. Number three on the list of the top six other things you won't see Countdown Brooks characters doing. Calling for their supervisor for a price check on some lube just to embarrass the person buying the lube.

Yeah, good. Get that done. Number two on the list of the other things Countdown Brooks characters won't be doing, but probably happen at supermarkets. A shelf stacker telling a customer they'll just check out back for a product. Depends how long it will take you. Exactly. And I wouldn't even want to tell them it's not out there.

I'd say to somebody else, hey, can you just on the way back up, pop down aisle nine and just tell that old woman there's none left. Thanks. And number one on the list of the top six other things You won't see Countdown Bricks characters doing But happens at supermarkets You won't see people Having lightsaber fights

With stale french sticks Left at the end of the day Great way to burn through Some bread that was just Going to go in the bin otherwise That is today's top six There's a company called Promobot And they are going to offer ZM's Fleshborn and Megan Play ZM There's a company called Promobot

and they are going to offer someone $200,000 for your face forever. They will have rights to your face forever. So you're going to be the face of the robots? Is that it? So this is the press release. Promobot is seeking a face for a humanoid robot assistant

which will work in hotels, shopping malls, and other crowded places. The company is ready to pay out $200,000 to somebody willing to transfer the rights to use one's face forever. Wow, what do they want? Like, what's that? So there's not a lot of criteria.

They're considering people of all races, not all ages. You have to be over 25. Okay. And you have to have a kind and friendly face. That rules me out. And anyone with bitchy resting face. That rules me out. Yeah.

It doesn't rule me out. I could be the robot. Are you the kind of person I want to see checking me in at a hotel as a robot? Yeah. Something tells me just... Hello, credit card please. I just think the way the world's going, it's probably not going to be a middle-aged white

man. That's racist. Megan does raise a very good point. And ageist. And sexist. You know who's got a beautiful face? This just coincidentally popped up on my Instagram. Yeah. Penelope Cruz.

What a face. Why do you follow Penelope Cruz on Instagram? What do you think? It's a lovely face. It's a beautiful face. She's got a lovely face. She's such a great face. Is it a weird thing for you to be, like, you say these are robots that could be used in

malls and hotels. Like, there could be literally thousands of these robots. Yeah. Or tens or hundreds of thousands of these robots with your face around the world. Yeah. Like, think about facial recognition and security. Like, in China at the moment, like, you can't go anywhere, right, without them tracking you. Yeah.

If you've signed your face over, could you then be arrested for crimes when it was your robot that did it? I'm hoping that the robot... How do you know? Because of the Asimov principles. The what? The robot rules. Is there a principle for robots?

There are no rules. Have you not seen Terminator? Yeah, but what about iRobot? That's more about the robots. Those robots went rogue. Yeah, I don't know. The robots can't hurt humans and blah blah blah. What about that robot that Ryan Gosling hooked up with?

Oh, that was a doll, eh? No, that was a sex doll. Oh, was it? Okay. Yeah, Lars and the real girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, never forget Ryan Gosling made love to a sex doll. What about the companies making the sex robots? Do they need faces? They probably, yeah.

I don't know if you would. Sex robots. Like that face, like that grunting. Yeah. Yeah. Is that your pleasure face? But also there's going to be like, like you say, hundreds of these robots while you're still alive. So you're going to be like recognized as the robot.

Like you go to the Westfield Mall kiosk to ask to, you know, where a shell face is. And it's you. That's cool. Checking at a hotel. Well, if you've got a lovely, friendly face. A kind, friendly face, yeah. $200,000 US could be yours. Do you know who's got a kind, friendly face. A kind, friendly face, yeah. $200,000 US could be yours. Do you know who's got a kind, friendly face?

Who? Georgia. Georgia's face could be the robot. Georgia does days here at ZM. She could do, she could be the robot face. She's got a kind, friendly face. No one else that works here. You can say that because you just ordered all the producers Uber Eats.

Yeah, I've got a morning of this, don't I? He's built you up so he can tear you down, Lander. The world's most chaotic game show. That's right. It's the world's most chaotic game show, and in five rounds, we take six contestants, we whittle them down to one, and the prize will be distributed then and there. Good morning to April.

Morning. Morning. Kia ora, Lucy. Hello. Stevie, are you there? Morning. Come in, Alice. Come in, Alice.

Alice. Alice. She might be there, but glitching, Alice. Alice. Alice on line four. Alice. She might have there, but glitching, Alice. Alice. Alice on line four. Alice. She might have gone down the rabbit hole chasing the white rabbit. Who's late for a very important date.

We'll just see if we can get Alice by that. Meanwhile, let's meet Jen. Jen's there. Jen's there. Ah, Tamaria. Devin. Hello. Oh, nice.

Okay, and I believe Alice is there. Alice, are you there? Jen's there. Arthur, Marty, and Devin. Hello. They're all nice. Okay, and I believe Alice is there. Alice, are you there? I'm here. Alice is running up a hill for better reception. Okay, all right. All right. We've got five rounds. Let it begin with round one.

Round one. All right, going to roll the dice. It's number three. See you later, Stevie. Bye, Stevie. Bye. Time for round two. Round two.

All right, five remaining contestants. Name one of the human senses. April. Now. Yep. Lucy. Touch. Oh, touch was the one.

Look, I had touch written down. You did, yeah. See you later, Lucy. Bye. Oh, but she got it right. No, that was the one. Look, I had touch written down. You did, yeah. See you later, Lucy. Bye. Oh, but she got it right. No, that was the elimination button. Round three. Round three.

Four people left and four Ninja Turtles. I've written one down here. If you name it, it's the hot turtle. Devon, name a Ninja Turtle. Michelangelo. Yep, you passed. Jen, name a Ninja Turtle. Oh, God. Yep, you passed. Jen, name a Ninja Turtle. Oh, God.

Don't know. Oh, okay. See you, Jen. Oh, Jen. Bye, Jen. What was your Ninja Turtle? Leonardo was my Ninja Turtle. He's my least favourite Ninja Turtle.

And boy. Dude had two swords. Unfair. Stacked. All right, paper scissors rock. Three of you are left. The one that loses to the one I choose is out of the competition. Oh.

Fletcher Megan can confirm. Yes. Alice, paper, scissors, rock. Paper. Paper. Oh, she's gone because you've got... Yeah. I got scissors.

Yeah. And you picked paper straight away. Bye. Bye. Round five. Last round. First person to name the last two digits of their phone number. One, two.

Okay, who said one, two? Devin. Devin, the last two digits in your phone number are one, two. Yes. Congratulations. Your prize is $12. Today's prize for the most expensive card Carded Game Show, $12. God, I wish your last two digits were 99.

Yeah. That'd be great, wouldn't it? Sorry, April. Nothing for you. But that's literally only $12 less than what our winner got. So we all had fun. Another round of the world's most chaotic game show. Yahoo.

ZDM's Fletch, Ronan Megan. Drug checking at festivals was a temporary thing. It was brought in and the temporary law was supposed to expire at the end of the year. Right. It has now passed its third reading. So it's to be brought in as a permanent law. So drug checking at festivals will continue. Because some people are against this,

but I think it's a good idea. Because if people are going to do it, you're not going to stop them. And you'd rather they, if they were going to do it, they were doing, you know, it safely, right? Yeah, I mean, historically saying don't do it and turning a blind eye never worked.

So we know they're going to do it. Yeah, testing them is the way to keep people safe. And apparently, yeah, government agreed. Did you guys talk about that yesterday? Did you talk about that vet in Australia? No. I did read about that. Oh, I saw about that yesterday.

She was at a friend's place and she's like, you guys ever tried ketamine? Like horse treat? Yeah. And I'm like, no, she's got some in the car. So we went and got it and came back in. It was like a party. And said, how much do you weigh?

And this friend's like, what, 70 kgs or whatever. So she's like, okay, hold on. And Googled like the correct administration dose. And then she like dished out ketamine to all of her pals. I don't know how they found out. Somebody, I don't know if somebody there needed hospitalisation or they ended up calling somebody or she got to work on Monday and they're like, where's that ketamine?

And she's like, er, no. Er, no. That was pretty wild. Yeah. Yeah. That was just another drug story that popped into my head when you talked about testing. Yeah, I don't think they're allowing.

Testing drugs. How does it work? I've never seen it done. The testing. Yeah, I don't think they're allowing... Testing drugs. How does it work? I've never seen it done. The testing. Yeah, do they take a little scrape? I think they take a little, yeah, like a cotton bud. Don't they rub it on it and then analyse that? Right, okay. Because if they were taking a cut, you'd be like, hey, not too much.

Looking to get my buzz on, yo! Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Megan. December 11. This is the day in the New Zealand and Australia. Yeah. We are most likely to be dumped. Are you kidding me? Yep.

16 days away until you're dumped. Is it because you're going to be at a festival and everyone's hot? Well, that's what I wonder. It's kind of two weeks away from Christmas, so no need to buy a present. Yeah, you don't want to buy a present. Freeing yourself up for the summer break. But I'm wondering, with restrictions as they are, Yeah, true.

maybe it's not going to be as dump-worthy this year. No, but the board is opening, isn't it, on the 15th? Yeah, but you're still not going to be able to just rub and bump with anybody? You tell that to anyone at a festival. No more rubbing. Oh, we're going around. I'll be the rub and bump with any... You tell that to anyone at a festival. No more rub. Oh, we're going all round. I'll be the rub and bump police.

Sorry, Vaughan told us we weren't allowed to rub and bump. Excuse me. Leave some room for Jesus. Am I right? Put your mask on. Stop that rubbing and bumping. So December 11 is, yeah,

in previous years, the day where in Australia or New Zealand most people have broken up with. Okay. And it's 16 days away. So it seems like a great time to talk about the comfort foods because there's a survey out that says fish and chips have been named the best meal to order after being dumped.

Really? Yep. What is this, the 1980s? We've got so many takeaway options. Yeah. And that's the crazy goodness. A good fish and chip. Hot chipp the greasy goodness. A good fish and chip. Yeah.

A good fish and chip. I don't know. Would that be yours though? I'd probably just go for ice cream, like a whole tub. Yeah, I'd go for chocolate or ice cream or chips. I'd go for like a massive,

like a massive greasy burger. Oh, yum. Like a massive one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just make an absolute mess of yourself. Yeah, it's dribbling down your face and you're crying. Ah, num, num, num, num. I mean, have we not done enough emotional eating this year?

Oh, yeah, totally. In lockdown. Yeah. Totally, totally. What's a bit more? But this was done by a food delivery app. Okay. That asked a whole lot of questions.

When they delivered the food, were they like, why are you ordering this? Did you get dumped? Have you recently broken up with someone? I think they just did a survey. Best munchies to order at 4.20. 4.20! Was a maple bacon and double patty burger.

This is from a specific place. Oh my goodness. In Wollongong. Oh yeah, this is in Australia. Australia, but they said burgers on a whole. Oh my goodness. In Wollongong. This is in Australia. But they said burgers on a whole. A great little afternoon. Pick me up.

Noodles as well. Noodles? Yeah. Like a ramen. Not just two minute noodles. Yeah, but even still, that's not. If I'm getting takeaways I want like a burger or something. Top food ordered during award shows. So they looked at like when award shows were broadcast on TV. Not quite.

This is Australia. Right animal. Chicken palmy. Yeah. No. What? Chicken schnitty. Are you kidding?

Chicken schnitty. Wow. Yeah. So on the back of fish and chips being the biggest emotional breakup food, we wanted to ask the question this morning, what are your emotional comfort foods? Even if it's a mixing of two foods. Yeah, and it doesn't need to be when you have a breakup.

It could just be you've had like a really bad day, and you're like, okay, that's it. I'm leaving the mints in the fridge tonight. Yeah. We're getting takeaways. Whether or not you're ordering on a taking away, what is that emotional comfort food? Whether it's chocolate,

it's a specific takeaway, ice cream. What is your go-to comfort food? So Fish and Chips have been voted the best breakup comfort food. This is in an Australian New Zealand study. By the way, the 11th of December

is the day that most people get broken up with. Yeah, so that's coming. So if you want to preempt that. But then you'll survive the 11th and then you'll get dumped on the 11th of December is the day that most people get broken up with. Yeah, so that's coming. So if you want to preempt that. But then you'll survive the 11th and then you'll get dumped on the 12th. No, dump them on the 10th then. Pull the trigger. Be the first to dip out.

So whether it's a breakup or just a bad day, what is your emotional breakup comfort food? Somebody just said there is a, oh yeah, here it is. A tiramisu available. Am I supposed to roll the R in tiramisu? Tiramisu. I didn't just say tiramisu. Tiramisu. Oh, yeah, there's a tiramisu.

It is Toscano. It's made in Italy. They said you get it at the Countdown made in Italy tiramisu. And we all laughed. Unfortunately, that's probably just made in a factory in Witte. With an Italian flag on it. They get you with the packaging. Yeah.

You're like, oh, witty Italy. What a beauty. I can't wait to visit. I'm going to go to Florence. I'm going to go to Rome. I'm going to go to Vatican City. And I've got to check out this witty. Yeah.

But does it look good? Yeah, it does, actually. Okay. It's got 2.6% booze in it. Hello. Hello. Lots of people with their comfort food though Yeah, fish and chips has been voted the ultimate comfort food after a breakup

But it is not the only one Someone said salmon Oh my god Really? No I love salmon I love salmon But it's not a comfort food, is it?

They said I'd eat it every day That's how much of a wreck I am I just can't afford it Someone said, what about a cheeky dinner of chip and dip with wine? Oh, yeah. He's speaking my language. Wine, that's your ultimate breakup food.

I don't want to give too much away, but it is today, the 25th of November, a month away from Christmas and our segment, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas is coming up and it may be the last one

of the year. And you know what that means? Jesus, I don't want to give it away. It may be the last one. I don't want to give it away but I'll tell you what's happening. Exactly. But you know what happens when it's the last, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas of the year.

We play a certain song Yeah Wink wink I'm not giving anything away here It's not Sleepy's Christmas It's not that Pogues one is it with that horrible word in it No They haven't edited that out have they

No So many stations play it Old business radio station. Play it. Full F word and all. Yeah. Right now, though, we are talking about the comfort foods that you go to in a breakup. The Australian New Zealand study showing Fosh and Chups, the number one comfort food, which

is surprising. I thought it would have been burgers. Burgers. Definitely. We're hearing about burgers. People are messaging in Their comfort food And burgers The bigger

The better Someone said Now what about a big Fat butter chicken With the cheesiest Naan possible Oh yes I'm lactose intolerant

But I don't care If I'm emotional I'll shit myself Why not I'm already a mess So I love that Sort of absolute Just

Who cares I love that people Who are like gluten, lactose, they get to a point they're like, you know what? Who cares?

I just need chocolate tonight. This is what I need. This is what I'm having. I'm going to be up all night with a gut sake. That's, I don't care. They're already down,

so why not? Yeah. Someone said anything with mayonnaise on it. Just mayonnaise. Sometimes just a squirt of mayo straight into the old dog.

Someone said kebabs. Is anybody mentioning kebabs? That's drunken. That's drunken mess, not emotional mess for me. Someone also said, I've never even thought about eating when I've been in emotional mess. It's straight to the spirits. That's indicative of the country that you live in, I'm afraid. Anonymous, what's your go-to comfort food?

Well, I've actually recently gone through a massive heartbreak after finding out my husband was cheating on me. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, that's horrible. So I'm going to say it's Chinese, that's the comfort food, but what's been the key to it is actually eating with good company. Oh, okay. So there has to be the people too.

Okay, so you've got to get the Chinese takeaways and some friends, and it just makes everything better. Yeah. Let's talk Chinese takeaway. They've already got a bit of black bean beef, bit of sweet and sour pork, lemon chicken. I love them fried. I'm such a sucker for the fried rice.

Oh, yeah. It's beautiful in its simplicity, the old fried rice. Now, are you doing the serve yourself containers, or are you just... Yes, I prefer those because then you can find a nice spot to eat it. Oh, yeah. I prefer those because I can just fill it up with all the meat bits and not the

vegetables or the rice. Yeah, and then you can eat it the next day when you're left over. Yeah, and then when there's the grease left in the bottom of the container, it's a weird light green. And you're like, oh, MSG, you are delicious. None of us sexy call. Kate, what's your go-to comfort food? I like toast with a circle of tomato sauce,

and then a slice of luncheon sausage on top. Oh, my God. Did you say toast? Toast with luncheon chub and some sauce. No, it's got to have that crunch. You need to mix it. You can't have, like, soft bread and soft luncheon. You've got to have, like, toast.

You've got to have a range of textures. Treat yourself by crusting the bread. Kate, have you heard of burgers, pizza, fried chicken? Yeah, I mean, it just doesn't hit the spotlight. Deli luncheon, what can I say? Unbelievable. It's a different kind of meat. It's beautiful in its simplicity.

Kate, thanks for your call. Tisana, what's your emotional comfort food? Microwaves, macaroni and cheese. Oh, hello. Is this the one that you buy in, like, the sachet and you put milk and butter in it and stir it and microwave it? Oh, are they in the freezer section? Yeah, yeah.

And you pierce the plastic, right? Yeah. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it.

And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it.

And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it.

And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it.

And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put extra cheese on it. And then you put stressed too. Yes. Stab the plastic. Yes. It makes a satisfying pop. Yeah, exactly. Right.

Okay, so every time, do you have them in the freezer just in case or will you have to go out of your way to buy them if you're having an emotional time? I usually have them in the freezer just in case. Although for a while there, I was living with my parents while saving for a house and my dad kept stealing them.

Oh, right. Maybe he was having a rough time. Fair enough. Just needed to stab some plastic. Thanks for your call. Some messages in. Your comfort foods. It's got to be pizza.

A few pizzas coming in. Yeah, good. I once ate a litre of caramilk ice cream. Jesus. How do you do that? A litre. No, because what's a normal tub? Two.

Two. Oh, that's fine. How long? There's caramilk ice cream. Were they like picking at it with a little spoon until it was pretty, like, really soft? Or did they just get into it hard with a roller and get through a litre of it?

Yeah, I don't know. In no time. Somebody said sweet chili philly. That's your sweet chili philly cream cheese. Flop it out. Thai sweet chili Doritos. Good Dorito flavor. One bag of Doritos, two pots of chili philly.

That's their ratio. Oh, my God. That's a good chili philly ratio you got there, buddy. Do you know what a good one is? Poutine with lots of gravy. That's a good one. Yeah, gravy and lots of cheese and curd. But that's chips as well, yeah. Lovely's

and Invercargill have a $20 three-piece meal deal, which is my go-to. Baked potato or pumpkin soup is an entree. Silverside with mash is a main and a chocolate pudding with chocolate sausage around my misery at the end. You're sitting out of a three-course Nana's roast. I like this. I love it. And three-course Nana's roast. Yeah. I like this.

Yes. I love it. And pretending Nana made it for you. Yeah. And pumpkin soup is the most wholesome food I've ever heard from someone looking to mend their broken heart. ZM's Flesh Warner Megan. Play ZM.

Ho, ho, ho. Ooh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Ho, ho, ho, ho. Ooh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Ho, ho, ho, ho. Well, it's a segment of the show where leading up to Christmas, we take a look at the level of Christmas penetration. And normally in pre-COVID times, we would have been done. It's normally done when the start of November? Yeah, first week of November,

generally when like Santa parades and stuff start happening. But it's taken till now? Yeah. First week of November, generally when, like, Santa parades and stuff start happening. But it's taken till now. Yeah. Because 29 days away from Christmas, I can give you the following reports. I want to thank Wilson again, a platinum level... Oh, Wilson, coming through.

He's a big contributor to the segment. I don't hear from him, and now he goes into hibernation on socials until he pops up again. He might keep in touch now. I don't think so. I don't particularly from him, and now he goes into hibernation on socials until he pops up again. He might keep in touch now. I don't think so. I don't particularly want him to. Oh, Jesus.

You just love him that one time of the year? Yeah. He's seasonal. He's like poinsettias. He's like a turkey. Yeah. Oh, now see, I need a turkey. No, I can have turkey most months.

Yeah, I can have turkey whenever, really. Ah, look at this. He said, look, here's a Midlands Christmas tree, outside Christmas tree there. So that's a good two-story Christmas tree. And he said, did you guys know Typo has Christmas? And I'm like, yeah, I'm familiar with Typo having Christmas. But he really does send you a lot of Christmas reports.

He does. Look, all of this. Christmas carols in the mall video. North City shopping centre, big tree. That was another one he sent me. Yeah, my supermarket's shopping centre, big tree. That was another one he sent me. Yeah, my supermarket's put up its Christmas tree. And every end of aisle is Christmas.

Yeah. It's madness. And a lot of places now doing their Christmas collections for city missions and charity things. Important reminder if you can. It's always nice to give. Do you still do Santa photos with the girls? Yeah, but we didn't this year. I don't know. We didn't get, like, the email

that it was happening. I think, was it Valentine's? I saw in the news they were telling people that if you want to have a photo with Santa, it's got to be with a mask. And is that what the malls are doing too? I saw, yeah, someone get a Valentine's photo with masks. Imagine you're, like, 19 and you're back home for Christmas

and mum's like, let's trot out those photos of you and your sister at Christmas in 2021. And you're wearing masks. And like Perspex screens. Yeah, and Santa's under a bubble. Yeah. You're just like, weird. We're going on Wednesday for Bastion's first one.

He's probably just going to cry. Smith and Coie. Oh, yeah, there's a bougie one. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. Are they open? Yeah. We always go there. Oh, yeah, that's a bougie one. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. Mark it. They're good. Are they open? Yeah.

We always go there. I feel like we've missed the trick there. There is another Santa out and about, though. It's the fully vaccinated, hard-dressed Santa of Ponsonby. He sits atop Ponsonby Central there. He has popped up there, and he's wearing a mask this year as well. No, you've got to... I want to check his vax passport passport because some of those Ponsonby wives are in that wellness hole.

The wellness hole, yeah. I think their crystals and their cold juice is going to save them. I'll tell you what cold juice is going to save. Not $7.80 out of your pocket. That's for sure. Expensive for the cold juice. My dad wrote a Christmas porno.

The sixth one. These guys, if you've never listened to this podcast, my dad wrote a Christmas porno The sixth one These guys, if you've never listened to this podcast My dad wrote a porno It's a story of a guy who one day found out That his dad had been writing erotic fiction Yeah, it's a popular podcast We chatted to one of the guys once, didn't we? And every year they do a Christmas

Special This one was recorded at Abbey Road Yes, the place where the Beatles recorded. So that's out. Thanks for letting us know about that. Jason messaged in. I'm a few days behind, but in Cleveland, Ohio we have a Christmas tree in the hospital

lobby. It's not even Thanksgiving here yet and the tree is up. Generally Americans wait till after that. More international spottings. Oxford and the UK Christmas trees are for sale in the supermarket, although they could see that the buckets of water had no water in them, so the Christmas trees were to be dead the next day. North City's Christmas tree is up.

Somebody else has reported that. Smith & Coie's, where you're going for your Santa photo. They've got their animated Christmas windows up and lights on the streets. What are they doing this year? Did you stop and have a look? Isn't that a Kiwi book? It's like a Kiwi Christmas. Oh, that's cool.

Based on a Kiwi book. Their window displays are absolutely amazing. Westfield Rickertons, Christmas has arrived. There is the reindeer stables on level two. Megan won't be able to see that because she's banned from Westfield Rickertons, aren't you, for shoplifting? That was many years ago.

Don't trot that out. Judith Collins. I've just done it. That was good from you. That was good from you. Well, you know what? You still did it, didn't you? No, it's young and dumb.

And I'm not banned anymore. Go shallow. That'll make no sense to people who haven't had their behind the scenes of what Simon Bridges said but you'll be able to piece together now that we've given you those pieces of the puzzle. Well with all that I can say

we are at the absolute crest. Don't push it yet. We're at 99%. Wait! Last minute entry! Barry has messaged push it yet. We're at 99%. We're at... Oh, wait! Last minute entry! Last minute entry! Barry has messaged in. It's the big Hamilton Centre Place Christmas

tree. There's a beautiful tree. It's a big, perfectly round and pointy. This might be New Zealand's new indicator. Yeah, okay. We've lost the Santa on Queen Street in Auckland. Could it be Centre Place and Hamilton's giant pointy green tree that now tells us it's time to say that, ladies and gentlemen?

Dust off the vocal cords, Mariah. Right now, Christmas penetration is at... 100%! 100%! Which means... It's tradition.! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Which means it's tradition. I just got goosebumps. We have to play it. Mariah, All I Want for Christmas.

I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need. I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree. I just want you for my own more than you could ever know. Make my wish come true. All I want for Christmas is you I don't want a lot for Christmas There is just one thing I need And I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need. And I don't care about the presents.

I don't need the Christmas tree. I don't need to hang my stockings. Where upon the fire place. Santa Claus will make me happy. With a toy on Christmas Day I just want you for my own More than you could ever know When my wish comes true

All I want for Christmas is you You, baby Oh, I won't ask for much this Christmas. I won't even wish for snow. And I'm just going to keep on waiting. Oh, I need the mistletoe. I won't make a list and send it to the North Pole for sending. I won't even say I'm waiting to

Feel the magic rain display Cause I just want to be here tonight Oh, I want to be so tight What more can I do? Oh baby, all I want for Christmas is you Ooh, baby For Christmas with you. Ooh, baby. Oh, the lights are shining so bright in every corner. And the sun is chilling, the life is building.

And everyone is singing. I hear the sound of the wind. Said I want to see you. I hear most people screaming. Said I want to praise you. I want to really need you. Won't you be a star, baby, to me? Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas. This is all I'm asking for. I just want to see my baby.

Say goodbye, I'm not alone. Oh, I just want you my baby So bright, I'm not alone I just want you for my own All of you, forevermore Make my wish come true Baby, all I want for Christmas Is you Baby All I want for Christmas Ooh, baby

I got a lot more Christmas with you, baby I got a lot more Christmas with you, baby I got a lot more Christmas with you It's Mariah Carey, All I Want for Christmas. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan. We received emails yesterday here at work. We've got a function coming up for Christmas. I believe it's an outside, I don't know when it is or what level we're in, traffic light, whatever.

Maybe we'll be in a park with masks on. I don't know. But we are required to attend and bring with us a present to the value of $20 for our secret Santa. Did you just roll your eyes? Yeah. I'm going to fletch on this this year. This is something. I just don't think we need this. This is exactly what we need. No.

We need to socialise again and give each other presents. I ran a poll because I was like, am I being grinchy? Classic. That's exactly what we need. No. We need to socialise again and give each other presents. I ran a poll because I was like, am I being grinchy? Classic. I mean, I love Christmas, but I don't, it's just seemed... Do you love Christmas? I don't get the vibes you do. It's forced work fun. And so I ran a poll on Instagram.

Do you like workplace Secret Santas? 56% said nah. Wow, you are a majority. But you're the reason people don't like Secret Santas. 56% said nah. Wow, you are a majority. But you're the reason people don't like Secret Santas. Because you give stupid presents. Okay, so last year, this was great. So we had the party

and my Secret Santa, I got the most ridiculous, I just went to a store and I just found something stupid and ridiculous. Didn't mean anything. It was obscure. I can't even remember. I think it was a costume. Was it a costume?

Yeah. And then my secret Santa spent the whole night asking everyone who their secret, they were so not upset. They were just like puzzled and bewildered. And it was the best present for me because I got so much entertainment out of this. Yeah. Didn't you overhear who's saying this person doesn't know

me at all? This is such a shitty present. I did hear her say that. Yes. I think she said that to me and I was like, yeah, they don't. But that's why expectations should be very tempered when it comes to Secret Santa.

Because some people go overboard. Sometimes they spend more than the $20 allowance. Don't do that. And then I feel like we were guilted because we share management with another radio station. It's like they've opted to make their Secret Santa limit $40. Did you see that? That's too much. That's far too much for Secret Santa.

I like to pick something and then decide on not worry too much about the money. We should do that Secret Santa thing this year where you're allowed to steal other people's Secret Santas. I love that. See, that's good, but then that's because it's a bit naughty and mean. Do you go last? Is the best idea in that situation? You get your names drawn out of a hat, right, and the idea is you go last. Because then you can pick the entire bunch yeah yeah if you go first you're probably

gonna lose your thing hmm and that's that's competitive christmas and i don't like it but you know people well you're in the majority yeah people saying workplace secret center's not the go yeah i don't know it just doesn't feel like a secret center like everyone's like real shitty when it comes to Christmas. You're not feeling the vibes. Get on board with the vibes. We just played Mariah Carey all I want for Christmas. And you're still not feeling the vibes. Nah.

Fact of the day next. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day. Confirm my choices. Targeted cookies. Yep. Cool.

Today's fact of the day is about one of the world's most popular chew toys for dogs. Okay. If you've got a Kong, traditional Kong chew toy. The little rubber ones that you can put stuff inside. So it goes big. Yep. How would you describe this shape? Circular.

It's almost like the poo emoji. Yeah. And then a slightly smaller one on top, then a smaller one on top. Like a snowman. And it's made of this like nigh indestructible rubber. Dogs can chew on them for ages before they start to deteriorate. Okay. So the invention of the Kong Chew Toy is all thanks to police numbers being cut in downtown Denver. This is how.

Okay. The man that invented it owned an auto repair shop in downtown Denver. His name was Joe, and he was getting burglarized. Okay. He would often come to work and someone had broken into his shop and stolen things. So he turned to the police and he said, I kind of have more patrols in the area. We seem to have had less patrols of late.

And they said there's been budget cuts. We can't afford to send patrol cars around more often. In fact, it's all been pulled back. Might we recommend you get a guard dog? Oh, okay. So he was like, okay, well, I actually knew of someone looking to rehome

their German shepherd. So I shall get this German shepherd and it shall live at the work and I'll feed it at night when I leave and I'll feed it in the morning when I get there and then it can be around during the day and it will guard us at night. He specialised at this auto repair shop in fixing Volkswagens. Volkswagen Beetles and Volkswagen Kombi vans. Now the air suspension in a Volkswagen Kombi

became a very delectable treat for the dog. Okay. The dog, he'd come back in the morning and the dog would have got one off the rack and it'd be sitting there chewing on it. He'd be like, ah, don't chew on that thing and take it off him. Yep. They look exactly like a Kong toy. Oh yeah.

So he's like, this dog loves it. So anyway, he got one down that the dog had chewed on and he said, here, you can keep chewing on this. And the dog chewed on it and chewed on it and played with it. And he wasn't breaking it. Right. So he's like, that's interesting. So the next time he needed to replace one on a Volkswagen bus, he kept that and gave it to somebody else's

dog and said, tell me if your dog likes this. Loved it. He loved it. Loved it. Interesting. So that's when he was like, we should just get a bunch of these and sell them as dog toys for more than what they cost. Yeah. As replacement parts for a Volkswagen Kombi. So he did. And that is how the Kong dog toy was invented.

Was the dog called Kong? Yeah, where does the name come from? Great question. Must be, right? Fritz was the dog called Kong? Yeah, where does the name come from? Oh, my God, great question. Must be, right? Fritz was the dog's name. Oh. Fritz. And then, so did they get the factory that made those Volkswagen rubber parts

to then remake them as a dog to wear? To send them? No, no, they took the design and what the rubber they were made out of and ended up making their own. Huh, okay. Huh. Okay. Yeah. So the actual like design that is around these days is other,

cause Kong's now the brand and they do other things, mostly made of that super durable rubber, but it's still exactly the same as it was in 1970 when it was first invented. Wow. It really does look like that V-Dump part cause I've just Googled them. Yeah. The Kong. Yeah.

It's exactly on top of the... So Animates have them for $33? Yeah. Wow. So yeah, that's... Who knew? That's the old... And how long ago was that?

1970. Oh, so this company would have made bank. Yep, made absolute bank. He said he made way more money off that than he ever made off repairing Volkswagens. So today's fact of the day is the ever-popular Kong dog chew toy empire was born out of the fact that a guard dog liked chewing on a Volkswagen part. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZDM's Fletch, Ron and Megan.

Tis the season for threatening your children's poor behaviour with a certain visitor not coming. Yes, you just need to pick up the phone and they'll completely miss the house, won't they? Oh, you betcha You betcha It must almost be time, in fact, for Santa's Scout elves to Oh my god

Come a visitin' Everybody watch out if an elf comes to your house Or maybe it's just Santa's got an in-home security camera To monitor behaviour of children Who may indeed be listening to the show right now And I'll tell you what If your parents won't report you to Santa He's just, Santa's got an in-home security camera to monitor behavior of children who may indeed be listening to the show right now. And I'll tell you what, if your parents won't report you to Santa, I will. Whee.

Okay. So, yep. In fact, some radios in cars right now, it's two-way. We can hear what you're saying to your mum or dad. Oh, yes. So if you hear any bad behavior, you'll report it to Santa. 100%. And mum doesn't even need to say anything or dad. Oh, yes. So if you hear any bad behaviour, you'll report it to Santa. A hundred percent. And mum doesn't even need to say anything.

She just needs to listen to this radio station and I can monitor behaviour. Okay, and kids, that's what we call a narc. Yeah. Just going to give the mum and dads in the car now

just a moment to tell us anything that their children have done, their behaviour's been poor. Oh, okay, yep. And of course, we'll be able to hear that. I'll take some notes.

Okay. So if you're in the car with your children who have been misbehaving lately, feel free to now say what your children have been doing and what behavior they need to work on. Go. Shit. Okay. You just said a bad word.

Yeah, that's – well, I'm allowed to say a bad word. I'm an adult. There's some horrible things coming through. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. They're going real fast. I've got to keep writing. Okay. Okay. going real fast. I've got to keep writing. Okay.

Okay. And one more. Cool. I would like it to be noted, kids, that your Uncle Vaughn is the narc there, not me. I'll narc on you straight to Santa Claus. I'll narc on you straight to Santa Claus. But I saw something online yesterday. It was a guy who tweeted this.

He said, when I was a young boy, my father had what he called the bean jar. Oh, okay. It was a jar that was full of brown and black beans. Whenever we misbehaved, he would silently remove one bean from the jar and tell us that once the jar was empty, the world would end.

That's good. That's like, that's year round stuff. That's good That's like That's year round stuff That's terrifying The kind of trauma That leads to you being Going to therapy Yeah going to therapy As an adult

Yeah That's good stuff Jesus It's I mean That's amazing I've got a modern equivalent Of just going on This new modem we've got

And just seeing what How good is that new modem? I told you, didn't I? I said the new modem. I opened this up. Leave and connect. From work I can connect to this. Talked about this briefly on the show because I could tell they were listening to the radio. So wait, can you see what everyone's looking at

on that? I can't see what they're looking at, but I can see how much speed they're using. Right. And you can see what devices are active. Yeah. And then, so you can also shut down your kids' devices. Correct. If they're naughty. Yeah. Because I was going to say,

you're going to be able to shut down when like Sade's online shopping. And in turn, do not tell my husband about that. But this is great for parents because normally mum or dad will be like, we're just turning the router off and then you can't use the router as a parent. You can't use the internet. This is good too. Five minutes, okay? dad will be like, we're just turning the router off and then you can't use the router as a parent. You can't use the internet.

This is good too. Five minutes, okay? And they're like, and you're like, four minutes. I'm not even going to start. I'm not going to even continue counting. And then you just turn it off at zero.

Hey, we're in the middle of something. I'm sure it was a life or death game of Roblox as well. So get off your computers and get out here. Yeah. I'd like to know though, if you had a bean jar type situation or there was something always about when you were kids that made you behave. What did your parents have to make you behave? We had a...

Wooden spoon. Yeah, I was going to say a wooden spoon. Okay, we're not too big for that. It was a rolled up newspaper and the newspaper was rolled up super, super tight. And it was almost like if it was a sword, it was sheathed in the back of the gas heater. What are these things called? Portable gas heater. Yeah.

You know how they'd have three little Bernie honeycombs on the front? Right. And they were made of steel. Yeah. And they'd grill, it would get super hot on the front? Right. And they were made of steel. Yeah. And the grill would get super hot and you'd be walking around not looking where you're going and you'd get a little sizzle off it. One of those things. But they always had a gap at the back where the gas bottle sat

and it was always in there. It was taller than it, so it stuck up. Yeah. And if you were misbehaving, it would just be pointed at. Dad would look at it and we're like, okay, okay, cool, cool. Yeah, we cool, we cool here. We cool here. We cool here, Anne.

Let's chill, let's chill. Let's chill on the beaten. Our wooden spoon was kept in like a pottery jar on the bench. So it made this very distinctive noise, just a wee rattle. And you're like, oh no, we're good. We're good, we're good. No way. Like though, like that hurt.

But the bean jar thing is next level. That's psychology, right? That's unbelievable. So you'd love to hear what your parents did to make you behave. So we want to know from you this morning how your parents made you behave. Wow, there are some psychological tips here. Also some very damaging. Yeah.

Like a smack on the ass. There are some Like a smack on the ass There was a smack on the ass But some of these Like mind games It feels like years later Yeah My parents said White vans

Were children behaviour Monitoring vans Do you know how many White vans Drive past your house When you're looking For white vans So many

Constantly And if they were Misbehaving too much, they would come and take you away to a rehabilitation centre. And to this day, when they need to get into a minivan to go anywhere, they're like, ah, ah, ah. But they said, you know, like, white vans are often doing deliveries, so they slow right down looking for addresses.

Oh, that's genius. Oh, my God. That is brilliant. That's so creepy. You've scarred your child. Oh, yeah. They wanted to buy a van recently. They just couldn't bring themselves to do it.

Candice, how did your parents make you behave? My dad took a panel off like an apple crate, you know, like one of those skinny. Yeah, like a wooden one. Yeah, slappy wood. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And he like shaped it so it was sort of round on the edges

and like skinny at the bottom so it was a handle. Put a hole in it, a rope, put my brother's name and my name on either side, hung it above the fridge. And that was our little scare tactic. So this way that comes down from above the fridge. And that was our little scare tactic. So you just made that come down from above the fridge. He had made a paddle. He made a paddle. That's a paddle.

Yeah, he made a paddle. He could have just bought a wooden spoon, but I love that he made one. He took time. It's a craft. All right. There you go. Amazing, Candice.

Thanks, you're cool. Keep your messages coming in. We want to know now from you how your parents got you to behave. Some amazing stories. Some real psychological torture too. And you know what? We've heard from some people

just before we opened up a special thing we've managed to do with the marvel of technology where we can actually hear what's happening in people's cars without listening to the radio. That's right. And it gives parents a chance to tell me because i'm in direct contact with santa most days yeah um give santa the catch-up on where their kids

are at behavior wise so we might do that again i think you think that's a year it's just every day like and obviously some behavior could have improved so we could see if there's been an improvement or maybe a bad day what they need to work on. Because if the kids behave, because it's a month till Christmas, there's still a chance Santa could come, isn't there? I mean, it's never too late to turn around. Because that behaviour you've already heard this morning, are you going to pass that on?

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. No, no, no. But Santa's very open-minded, you know. He knows we all have our bad days. Yeah, right. Because, you know, if he watched Fletch, God, he'd be on the naughty list all the time. I get presents.

Exactly. Yeah. Exactly, because he knows that you do do good things. It's the good's got to outweigh the bad. And that's something we're going to work on. So maybe we'll do that again. Some messages in of the ways that your parents got you to behave. Somebody said, we've got pebble jars.

It sounds like the bean thing. Oh, yeah. And when you do something good, you take one pebble from the bad jar and put it in the good jar. Okay. And it's always like, don't let that get to the bottom. You don't want to know what's happening. Stopping you getting home from school before your parents get home from work and just chuck

in some pebbles in the good jar. Right. I'd say weigh the jars. I'd say a daily weighing of the jars. Right. And then, of course, if you catch them doing that, that's so many pebbles in the good jar. Right, I'd say weigh the jars. I'd say a daily weighing of the jars. Right, okay. And then, of course, if you catch them doing that, that's so many pebbles into the bad jar. Okay.

From the good jar, because they would try to rort the system. I'd probably put one of my security cameras on the jars. Yeah, that's a good idea. That's a really good idea. Some of these are very psychological. My mum just had a chart on the fridge. It had our names

on it and at the top it said disappointments this week and she just put a mark beside your name if you're disappointed and then at the end of the week she'd make a big grand gesture of standing in front of the disappointments chart and like you could see she was recalling every disappointment each child

had given her that week and then she'd rub them off and say hey let's start afresh this week, eh? Can you imagine that? That would like, if that caught you in a sensitive mood, you'd be like, this is so lovely. Shana, how did your parents make you behave? Well, we had this

specific hook on the wall that was for the wooden spoon. Oh, yeah. That's a classic. A displayed weapon of discipline. See, my mum Bev would get the glad wrap roll. That was bloody ruthless. Especially when it was new.

No wonder you're soft. And it's cardboard. Cardboard with a bit of plastic. No, a full. How many metres? Like 200. Catering size. Hands aren't that big. Catering size. Catering size.

It wasn't used for anything else. Its name was Bumbro. Bumbro? Bumbro. Wow. And would they just need to point to that and you'd behave? Yeah. It was scary.

You know whatever happens. Wow. What do parents do now? Do you just yell at your kids? Oh, it's good. Yeah. They get nothing compared to what I had. Yeah.

They're going about psychological warfare rather than physical. Yeah, exactly. Shana, thanks for your call. Mel, how did your parents make you behave? So they would put fake presents under the tree. So they would just wrap up different packages of different shapes and sizes.

And every time we'd misbehave, they would take one and they would stomp on it or they would just wrap up different packages of different shapes and sizes and every time we'd misbehave, they would take one and they would stomp on it or they would just throw it away. I've heard, who was it that used to, I've heard of people doing this, but obviously it was in America

or it was on a TV show or something and they'd just throw it straight in the fire, wouldn't even open it, just straight in the fire. Yeah, so they would just throw it away

right up until Christmas. We believe that however many were left under the tree was what we were getting. And then what? The night before Christmas, they'd just swap out real presents. Yeah, yeah.

So maybe then we wake up on Christmas morning and the magic of Christmas, like Santa's come and whatever, but yeah, right up. Like for so many years, we were firm believers that our presents were getting thrown away. We were like,

started to send them right through. Wow. We were like the littlest angels like going out of our way. Like thrown away. We were like, started December right through. Wow. We were like the littlest angels like going out of our way. Like, yeah. Brilliant. Mel, thanks for your call. Gemma, how did your parents make you behave?

Every time we left something out in the lounge, it would go into the uh-oh box. Uh-oh? What's an uh-oh box? So to earn our thing, whatever we lost back, we had to do a chore. So that could be every single bit of Lego sort of thing,

but we had to do a chore to earn our loss back. I like that. That's good. It's like you've been confiscated. I'd just be like, no, that's gone forever. I'm not doing the chores. Write it off. Yeah, but what if it's an iPad?

Oh, yeah. You're mowing the lawns. Yeah. Some other situations Some text messages And someone said We had hanging hooks There was the jug cord

Soap on a rope It's like open up You've been swearing Soap in the mouth Yeah maybe yeah Situation And a paddle bat On the other end

Jug cord was mum's Yeah Paddle bat was dad's Yeah Soap on the rope Was for whoever quit you swearing. Yeah, just so much psychological warfare going on. We had a fenced off square in the middle of the paddock that has beehives in it.

We ask our kids if they want to spend the night in the B square. Without being naughty. Santa has blackbirds. They're always watching. They're there year round. Oh, look, there's one of Santa has blackbirds. They're always watching. They're year round. Oh look, there's one of Santa's blackbirds looking to see if you're going to be naughty or nice. Works all year round. Good bit of bloody blackbirds are everywhere.

They are. That's why everybody's got to behave because they're everywhere and they're watching. So yep.