ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 26th February 2021

Episode Date: February 25, 2021

Rail SafetyTop 6: Kelly Tarltons UpgradeSecret SoundJareds crap uber chatAirport WhoopsiesBakery of the Day day day day daaaayySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan podcast with Hayley Sprouts. Thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app to get McCafe rewards today. I woke up to a disturbing sight this morning. And it's going to take me admitting to something in order to give you the context of the story. I sleep with a teddy bear that I've had since I was four years old. Okay. It's a koala. Okay.

What's its name? Kuali. Kuali. That is a koala-y name for a koala. Thank you very much. He's well-loved. He's one of my best friends. Okay.

He's half purple, half grey. We don't know why. He's had his head removed quite a number of times and stitched back on. He's really one of those sort of old, mangy-looking teddy bears. But it's just something that I've never been able to sleep without. And this morning I discovered that not only had Aaron strewn him across the room, he'd actually taken him from the bed and placed him inside a wardrobe and closed the door.

During the middle of the night? During the middle of the night. And his claim is, because Kweli has Kweli's a boy, but was born a woman and had a baby, and he's got Velcro on his hands and the Velcro scratches Aaron

in his sleep. So Aaron often, when I'm asleep, will pick up Kweli and toss him across the room, which is the utmost sign of disrespect. And we've had many an argument about it. Yeah, he's jealous, obviously. This morning, not on the floor, in the wardrobe,

as if he was packing him away for good. So do you and your partner spoon or cuddle? Yeah, we have cuddles. So where does Kweli go when you're having a spoon? So he's baby spoon. So I'm little spoon and Aaron's big spoon. Has Kweli needed any ongoing repairs? Oh yeah. Yeah, a few stitches here and there.

His head got ripped off by a cat once and ever since then it's never been that stable. So my mum will often just give him a little re-stitch around the neck. You can take him to a Teddy's hospital. I wouldn't trust anyone. Oh you're right. Okay, just your mum. You know

when you say, like, in the event of a fire, it goes, Kweli first, the cat second, Aaron last. Right, well, cats and Aaron can get out by themselves, but Kweli can't run. No. Well, you're not while we're watching. Was Kweli with you through your, like, teenage years? Yep. Like, your awkward, really?

So I had to ditch anything, like, teddy bear-esque on the bed like i felt they were having a very judgy look at me while i was trying to have a teenage wank you know oh i will beady little eyes looking at you like don't judge me if there is but you've got no problem having the dog at the end of the day no no no no animals aren't allowed in the room quality when there's some indiscretions going on in the bedroom, be it private or with a suitor, I turn him away. Right.

Okay. Because he knows things. He sees things. Yeah, he's been there. The way he looks at me like. Could you unpack the Velcro so that your partner doesn't have to throw it? This is a prized possession. I'm not altering him in any way.

Tandering with him. Right. So wait, so the baby's gone? Yeah, I got rid of the baby when I was like a baby basically And I just kept the main koala Ruthless You stripped it, couldn't give a toss Stripped the baby away from its mother which is now its father

And everyone, yeah, mother turned father And everyone who says to me like, oh you know, maybe you'll pass it on to your child one day I was like, absolutely not When did this koala have a sex change? I don't know. He knew it from the day he was born. So progressive. Right, yes.

Very progressive. Doing that before most people. Was there a definitive date where koala made the transition? No, I didn't have an announcement or anything like that. I just always knew and he always knew. Right. Right. Yeah.

Right. So anyway, Aaron, you're listening to this. Don't you dare move koeli from our bed again. Well, it sounds like you'll wake up in a cupboard. Imagine dragging your six foot six. How do you like it? It's fun! Thanks Rach, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleech Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul.

A bit of an odd configuration this morning. We are broadcasting from our Wellington studio, Vaughan and myself. And Hayley, you'll be in the Auckland studio. We're spread wide. We are very spread wide, but we're going to make it work. Yeah, I actually prefer to be most of the time in a spread wide situation, sort of a man spread situation. I like to spread out, take up far more room than I'm entitled to.

Yes. Yeah, you will have. I've put in a lot of effort trying to take up more room than I'm entitled to. Fletch, you look confused now. What's happened? So I've got the mouse on the right handhand side of the laptops at my extreme left. Yeah. So I'm going to have to be really looking.

They do things differently here in Wellington because my volume knob on my headphones is anti-clockwise to turn up. What? Oh, yeah. No, it's like the southern hemisphere, northern hemisphere. Right, gotcha. The water here as well goes clockwise. No, look, I'm from Wellington and we don't have our volume knobs going lefty-loosey, righty-tighty. Yeah, yeah, it's completely back to front.

Well, coming up on the show, it's Friday and it's now become a Friday tradition. Bakery of the Day is before 7 o'clock on the show. Yeah, it's basically where we hear from you. You nominate your local bakery. Maybe it's got a lolly log that gets you going. A lolly log. I love a lolly log. Maybe it's got a pie that gets you panting.

Maybe it's got a sausage roll that gets you sweating. A lamington that gets you laughing. Loose. Loose. Yes. Loose. Well, you nominate your favourite bakery soon in our segment, Bakery of the Day.

It's coming up before 7. At 7 and 8 this morning, another shot at ZM's $50,000 secret sound, all thanks to SAR, which is streaming now on Disney+. $20,000 is the current jackpot. So activate us this morning at 7 and at 8. The top six is coming up. Apparently there's going to be changes to Kelly Tarleton's upgrades, if you will.

I've got the top six suggestions I would like to put forward for the Kelly Tarleton's upgrade. Next on the show, though. I want to talk about Viagra. Viagra? Yeah. Good. Boys have had it for too long.

Flesh, Fawn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. There's a new study in Sydney. Well, not a study. What do you call it? A trial. ZM. There's a new study in Sydney. Well, not a study. What do you call it? A trial. A trial for Viagra for the women. Because up until now, I mean, Viagra's been out with the boys for like 20 years now.

Yeah. I can remember being really young and hearing about it. I mean, what's that? And then hee hee hee. It has been around for so long. And it's made by Pfizer, who, of course, one of the drug companies making the Pfizer vaccine is one of the faves, isn't it?

It's the one that we've started using. Does the vaccine have the same side effect, maybe? It cures you COVID, but also gives you a... Well, wouldn't that be a... Because that's how it was discovered, wasn't it? It's well known. It was a heart medication. And then everybody started getting stiffy.

Sure. So apparently painted in 1996, approved for use in erectile dysfunction by the FDA on the 27th of March, 1998. See, that's late in the program. Up until then, what happened? Nothing. Well, genuinely, nothing was happening.

That's the problem. Yeah, yeah. Well, now there's a study, a trial happening in Australia for this nasal spray. Because currently there's nothing that helps women, no approved treatment for women of childbearing age, for low sex drive. And they're going to trial this now. Instead of a pill, the little blue pill,

this is a nasal spray that goes straight to the nerves to help women with low libido. Because often when the women go to the doctor and they say, I don't want, I'm not interested in doing the deed anymore. They're told that it's because they've got kids and they're managing

a life and it's busy and it's stressful. They've got to clean the house and do the cooking. Why would they want to be hopping in the sack afterwards? Right, yeah. But this is, I always wonder like how these things go because there's 500 women who have been recruited for this trial across Australia. How do they measure it?

Is it by... I believe it's the horny index, isn't it? You fill out the form. How horned up are you? Yeah, you do it and then you report back. And then every minute you mark on a graph where you're at. Right. And I don't know, maybe that's the situation.

Would you, Hayley, would you trial this? Would you guinea pig this? Nasal spray? Oh, yeah. I mean, look, there's nothing I won't share with the world. I'd be a good candidate because I'd happily report on my levels of randiness. Right. But obviously it's a new drug. So there would, I mean, you know.

Could be side effects. Yeah. I'm just worried about that. Will it work for males? Is there any talk of, I mean, I know. Could be side effects. Yeah. I'm just worried about that. Will it work for males? Is there any talk of, I mean, I've never, ever, ever met a male who wouldn't be down for it at any given time, any time of the day. Well, I don't know. Because what's the difference?

If I was to take a Viagra pill, what would happen? But it's a different, doing a different thing though, isn't it? I've heard. I've heard. You remember that guy that ordered and flew this is going back many years hailey i don't know if i've shared the story with you but oh it's a great i can't remember his name but his name his nickname was also was just his last name with like an o on the end or something he ordered off the internet 900 stiffy pills from india yeah and it

was intercepted at customs and he had to provide a prescription so yes he went to his doctor he told the doctor what the story was and the doctor was like, well, I wouldn't recommend this. So he wrote him a prescription for actual Viagra and he just used that to get them through customs. Oh, right. Well, he had 900 of them,

so he was dishing them out. And a girl tried one and she reported similar situation. Yeah, right. Yeah, because that was very interesting to us at the time. A lot of blood rushing to the area. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Excitement of that.

So that's very interesting. We'll have to keep a tabs on this. Well, it's typically older people use it because they say that the sexual dysfunction escalates with age. So when you asked me, you two being much older than me, it's not as relatable for me. Yeah, right.

You know what I mean? Yeah. You're more likely to be part of this than I am. I would 100%. Yeah. Well, I got addicted to that Otrovin one winter. It absolutely melted my sinuses. Because you were using it...

It said three days in a row and then stopped, and I missed that part and used it all winter. Yeah, and now you've fused your nasal tubes or something. I've got a deviated septum. Yeah. I might get a nose job while I'm getting that sorted. Yeah. All right, next on the show.

I think I need to remind everybody of some basic rail safety. Okay, there's been a couple of high-profile incidents of people playing on train tracks this week, and that's a no-no. That's some good Friday morning chat. So we're going from Viagra for women to rail safety. Well, you know, there's a broad audience here at ZM. We don't want to leave anybody out.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Ahead of the weekend, I feel the need to give everybody a gentle safety reminder about New Zealand train tracks. I'm talking level crossings. I'm talking railroads. I'm talking anywhere where the train goes to chugga-chugga. And there's a beautiful spot for an Instagram photo

where the train tracks trail off into the horizon. Yeah, that sort of straight, flat train section. The rails look great. Did you ever do train tracks in technical drawing at school? Or whatever it was called? Technical drawing? No, we did bowls of fruit.

You'd put a pin in a line and then you'd draw the train tracks out. Oh, yeah. And it would be perspective. Yeah, yeah. It was real easy. But then you shouldn't

put a pin prick because technically they would never meet. They'd disappear before they meet. Yeah, I know, but they're. But then you shouldn't put a pin prick because technically they would never meet. They'd disappear before they meet. Yeah, I know, but they're so far in the distance you don't see them. Yeah, well, you failed technical drawing there, pal. It's all about the small details. Well, a reminder that

there is a fine for illegally being on or crossing railway land without permission and it's up to $10,000. $10,000? And Stan Walker knows about this today, doesn't he? Well, yes. His music video that came out last year, during, kind of,

everyone was so focused on COVID that maybe it was missed at the time that he was on the railway tracks during the music video for Bigger. It featured him and also his nephew playing a younger version of himself. And there's a good nine seconds where he's walking

down the train tracks and then it morphs to younger children and there's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven children on the train tracks. And of course, nine or ten seconds of film means they were probably playing on there or being filmed on there for significantly longer. And KiwiRoll

wants to remind everybody that you are not allowed to play on train tracks. It's a very, very dangerous place to be. Do you know what? He would have got away with this if it wasn't for the clothing. Those meddling kids. Augustine. Because they were in the news earlier this week

for doing a photo shoot on the train tracks. Yes, on the train tracks. Again, without permission. Is there nowhere else? Don't we live in the most beautiful country in the world and then we choose train tracks as our photo shoot and video thing? Going for that industrial

look, aren't you? I'd also like to point that Stan Walker is walking on the train tracks in bare feet. I know, I saw that and it looks like ouchy rocks. Ouchy, what are they called? They're very ouchy rocks. Ouchy rocks underneath. They're very ouchy rocks around train tracks. Those red ones, the shingles. Volcanic.

Volcanic, I believe. Yeah, scoria type rock. Scoria, there you go. That's what it is. Hard feet. Must have hard, hard feet. So don't play on train tracks. Don't go on train tracks unless they're decommissioned train tracks.

And you're stealing the railway sleepers for your hungy vaunt. Yes, correct. The railway irons, which hold heat fantastically and make for a great hungy iron. Except your hungy, because that failed miserably. Because I didn't use the irons, because I was told to go traditional and stick to the rocks, and that was where it was a huge, huge mistake.

How often do you lay down a hungy? Well, only once, Hayley, and it was a wild failure. He's not doing it again, Hayley. It'll be a while until I pluck up the courage to give that another go. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the fart-addled ZM think tank, this is the Top 6. I didn't hear the Top 6 thing. Has it happened?

It's played. There we go. There we go. Now I can hear it. I didn't know if it had thing. Has it happened? It's played. There we go. There we go. Now I can hear it. I didn't know if it had played. Today's top six. I mean, that intro, that gap we left for the intro would have probably. But I didn't know that it had played.

I thought there might have been a thing. I just needed confirmation. Then you were waving your finger and I said, no, I'm not listening to you. I mean, you say you're a broadcasting professional. I only trust my ears. So Kelly Taldens, guys, maybe you went there on a school trip. Maybe, oh, they did a sleepover thing a while back

where you could sleep over it. That's right, yeah. And maybe you stood on the conveyor belt and that was the most exciting part for you because marine mammals don't really, or marine animals rather, don't really get you going. I've never been. You've never been? Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me,. I've never been. You've never been? Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me, but I've never been.

I think I remember when I was like, my parents took me and my brother when I was like 11 or something. Yeah. So I vaguely remember the travelator and that just being amazing. Yeah, that was, as a kid, they should never have put it in

because it took so much attention away from the fish because you were just, as a kid, you were like, whoa. And that was before malls got travelators. Correct. They were really the pioneers of conveyor belts. Yeah, it was like, for people. Playing on the

luggage thing at the airport without the risk of being banned from ever flying again. It was a lot. Then they got penguins. They got penguins, yep. And now there's a big reno on the cards. Yeah, and there's a few, in this article I was reading, there's a few artist renditions of what it might look like,

going for a more natural look by the looks of things, really focusing on the New Zealand aspect to it. I've got the top six Kelly Tartan upgrades I'd like to see. Okay. Number six on the list, a slide through the shark tank. Oh, yeah. We've done that in Dubai. But the problem with the Dubai, it's a hydroslide. to see okay uh number six on the list a slide through the shark tank oh yeah well you we've done that in dubai but the problem with the dubai it's a hydra sledge you're going too fast you don't even get time to get scared of the fact that there's sharks at eye level with you so is it you

mean it's like it's like a perspex kind of you can see it you can see the sides yeah and you go through like a lazy river of tubes and something. I'd love that. Yeah, stingrays. Yeah, that would be good. Number five on the list of the top six Kelly Tartan upgrades I'd like to see. Dressing the turtles up as the ninja turtles. Oh, yeah, good idea. Very easy. Would you get cancelled for doing that, though? Dressing up a wild animal?

As a ninja turtle. That's a risk I'm willing to take with Kelly Tartan's reputation. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six Kelly Tarleton upgrades. Let us eat some of those really big, yum-looking fishes. No. No. You've never been to Hayley,

but there's this part where there's like a cafe, and there's this big tank, and these massive fishes, and I'm sure, fish, fishes? Fish. Fish. Fish eye. Just fish eye. Fish eye.

There's this massive fish eye, and they're definitely eating fish. Yeah, because you look at them and you think, fish eye. Just fish eye. Fish eye. There's this massive fish eye. And they're definitely eating fish. Yeah, because you look at them and you think how would that taste in a panko crumb? Yeah.

Or a delicious batter. Or even just a light drizzle of butter and some tinfoil on the barbecue with some dill and lemon on the top.

Yeah. That'd be delicious. I'm back on board now. Yeah, here we go. Now we're eating. Number three on the list of the top six Kelly Tartan upgrades I'd like to see are penguin parties. Oh, yeah.

Just let me in there, goddammit. Let me in there. I want to cuddle that little penguin. Whatever noise it makes. I want to give it a cuddle and I want to pat the fluffy baby one, too. They all sound like Pingu. Yeah. Oh, you want Pingu's voice?

Oh, god. Don't start him. Oh, my gosh. Just one of the many skills I have in my heart. It's on his LinkedIn. It's on my LinkedIn. Pingu noises. Number two on the list of the top six Kelly Talton upgrades I'd like to see.

The possibility of throwing starfish like ninja stars. Oh, no, you get cancelled for that? Yeah, again, you're in cancellation territory. What if you throw them into other water? Your version of Kelly Tarleton's is just animal cruelty. It's six-year-olds at the beach. Kids in there strangling penguins and dressed up turtles. They're very gentle with the penguins.

And number one on the list of the top six Kelly Tartan upgrades I'd like to see, the whole thing's underwater. So, like, you go in and you've got to strap on a scuba mask and, like, get a tank full of air. That's called diving. Yeah. Yeah.

And I want to do it off a boat. Right, okay. Because of the unpredictable nature of the sea. Okay, yeah, right. Yeah. So scuba-ing through the whole thing would be my idea. Even the cafe? Yes. Yeah, you've got to harpoon your cheese muffin with a spear gun

or catch it in a little net and strap it to an onion sack at your waist. Are they wrapping the cheese muffins in Glad Wrap? No. No one likes a soggy scone. Guys, Glad Wrap is so bad for the environment. I can't believe you'd even bring that up here. You're both cancelled. You've just submerged an entire cafeteria underwater, Vaughan.

There's no Glad Wrap. Glad Wrap, more like sad wrap. Yeah, true. That's today's top six. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Glad rap. More like sad rap. Yeah, true. That's today's top six. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

Zed. From iHeartRadio. This is the latest. A dramatic story overnight. Last night, Lady Gaga's dog walker was walking Gaga's three French bulldogs when someone attacked her, shot her, and stole two of the dogs. So the dog walker is okay or obviously in hospital? In hospital, but going to make a full recovery. Wow.

I don't know where they were shot. This is a developing story. Stomach or location? Hollywood. It was in Hollywood, but I don't know. Where on the body the bullet was received. Okay, Russia. Stomach is an option.

Hospitalised, expect to make a full recovery. So they stole two of the French bulldogs. One of them ran away, but was found. And now Lady Gaga is offering a $500,000 American dollar reward for no questions asked for them to return the dogs. Half a million dollar reward for dogs. That is out there. That's insane, right?

Yeah. But what is it to her? She loves these dogs. Yeah. I mean, to the rest of us, that's the equivalent of a $100 reward, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. When you work it out like that, it's nothing. That is nuts. When you work it out like that, it's nothing. When you see the vet bills associated with a modern French bulldog, though.

Yeah, that's true. Maybe they've done her a favour. They're a bougie dog. Well, that's what police are trying to figure out now. Did the person know that these were Lady Gaga's dogs? Or were they just stealing the dogs because they're an expensive breed? And that's the sad thing is people do steal dogs, don't they? Yeah, they do a lot.

Because they are so expensive. Yeah. Well, anyway, Gaga's in Rome right now filming a movie and she's said to be extremely upset. So you American listeners, if you know anything, half a million dollars in it for you. If your neighbour's house is all of a sudden started going... Deep breathing issues.

But they're so cute. They're cute. I get so angry at humanity for what we've done to animals. Like, that sounds like I'm about to hit a punchline, but I'm not. French bulldogs, like, why did we do that to them?

Why did we make them... Pugs are the same. Why did we do that? How is it possible we make them? Pugs are the same. Why did we do that? Why is it possible for these poor little buggers to breathe? Yeah, well, it's not even that good a time, because at about four years old, they're like... Anyway, Lady Gaga's dogs, stolen. The dog walker, going to live.

That's the latest for more here to ZM Online. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast, ZM. The mullet, the ape drape, the beaver paddle, the Camaro cart, the business in the front, party in the back. Yeah. The Canadian passport. It's had a resurgence in the last year, you'd say? Yes.

Oh, okay. It's been, it's circular, circular, circular, circular. Circular. Circular. Yeah. It goes on a cycle. It'll be like someone will wear them, it'll be funny, and then it reaches the point where so many people have got it,

it's not being done ironically anymore, and then it'll fade away again, disappear. A lot of women are getting them at the moment. Yes. Because it's sort of, you know, back in its original state was mostly for the boys. When are rat's tails in? Because I had a great one of those at intermediate school.

Rat's Tales did have a sort of a, I feel like it was like 2009 there was a bit of a Rat's Tale resurgence. It was after the Mohawk, the Fohawk. Yeah, right, okay. It went to Rat's Tales, bit to Mullet. Mullet's back in again now,

but a real pronounced Mullet seems to be the Mullet of choice at the moment. And was there a news story last year about a, was it a high school in New Zealand that had a mullet competition? Oh. Do you remember that? Yes. Basically there was like, I think, some friends.

But everybody was in on it, right? Yeah. Like teachers and everything in the school kind of embraced it. Because that was a fun, didn't they do it as a fundraiser? I feel like, yeah. For a sick classmate or something? Yeah. Well, it's not that fun and games over the ditch

as a Sydney private college has become the last, sorry, the latest secondary school to ban the mullet. Wow. Oh, goodness. Yeah, Waverley College. Who is it hurting to have a wee mullet? Exactly. Well, it's probably hurting their, like, school photos.

Yeah. Because they've got to put them up in the hallway for the next, you know, 30 years. Is it quite a strict school? Do you know? Waverley College, they describe themselves as an upper class private college. Yeah, see I went to one of those and there was definitely hair restrictions. Yes.

I broke them because I've mentioned this before, I was a bit of a gothy emo kid during my high school years. And at one point I had pink and purple hair. And I got told off. The Queen Margaret colours were green and blue and I had pink and purple hair and I got told off. Right, so you were saying you would have been okay with green. Green and blue. Green and blue.

Yeah, well, that was my response. I dyed it green and blue. And what did they say to that? Please dye it black. Okay. Get rid of that altogether. Well, the mullet haircut, Deputy Principal Patrick said,

the mullet haircut training at prison is not acceptable and students will be redirected to a barber or their preferred hairstylist to rectify any issues. I went and got a beard trim a couple of Fridays ago. Yeah. And this lad walked in. He was in reflective gear. Hard working lad. End of the week, I thought, here he is

for a freshen up. Yep. And he got the most drastic mullet cut. Oh, wow. He had the sides shaved. Like, fully shaved. The back, I'd say he had it tussled and maybe trimmed to get rid of split ends. And at the top, shortened and poofed.

Poofed. It was like an 80s, like a full-blown 80s mullet. Yeah, because even though it's short at the front, it still needs to have a bit of height, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. Yeah, to keep it balanced. So getting towards the end of his mullet cut, this is the part that I found the most amazing I heard.

Thunk. And I was like, what is that noise? Thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk. I looked. Women were just stuck to the shop window. Of course they were. He walked out, and he was like batting them off with a stick. He's like, back, back.

Like a zombie, like he was in a zombie. Yeah, but just the animal magnetism of that man's mullet. The woman, I said, save some for the rest of us, champ. And he didn't. He didn't. He took them all home because his mullet had that much sexual prowess. Of course it did. All right.

He sired many a child that weekend. I bet he did. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's time for Bakery of the Day. Bonjour. Bonjour. Bonjour. Bonjour.

This is where we just highlight one extraordinary little bakery's efforts to give us carbohydrates, basically. And you get loaded up with them. You call us. You say, this is my bakery of the day. This is the greatest item. I love this place. This is why.

And then we decide between two bakeries which is the best bakery. It's quite simple, isn't it? It's a very simple concept, actually. Highly very simple. Indeed. People have asked, why is it not called Bakery of the Week, as we only do this once a week? It should be Bakery of the Week.

No, we can't say it. We've already printed the certificates. Yeah, that's actually true. And, you know, Friday is a day. Yeah, that's true. It is a day. Okay, all right. So, Caitlin joins us. It is a day. Okay, all right.

Caitlin joins us. Good morning, Caitlin. Good morning. Good morning. Now, you're very bright for this time of the morning. You are. Yeah, I've been up for a little bit. Okay, all right.

Good to hear. Now, what bakery are you nominating and why? I'm nominating the Clem Clinton Bakery in Manurewa. It's just awesome. You can't go wrong. I know it. I know it well. Yeah. Yeah. Hayley, why do you know the Clinton Bakery in Manurewa so well? My parents-in-laws

live out Wattle Downs Way, so I'm always passing Manurewa. I've just Googled the Clelandon Bakery. They look to have, and correct me if I'm wrong, Caitlin, they look to have a wonderful donut. They do, yes. Pretty much everything there is just

awesome. Like, they're literally the best bakery. So you don't have a specific, like, slice or go-to? I meant the meat, getting a steak and cheese pie. Yum. And the meat.

They've always got heaps of steak in their pies, which is awesome. That's good. We should almost start a registry of bakeries that promise a meaty pie, but then just deliver you slop. Yes. A list of shame, if you will. Now, what I love about this bakery is it's really nostalgic. It's got the plastic string curtain you walk through. A list of shame, if you will. Now, what I love about this bakery is it's really nostalgic.

It's got the plastic string curtain you walk through. That'll keep the flies out. Love that. I love that. You know you're in for a good pie when you go through some plastic strings. Like a bead curtain or plastic? No, like the plastic-y. Oh, yeah. To stop the flies getting in.

Caitlin, are pies still $2.90? I think they're around $3.90. Oh, they need to update their Zomato.com online menu there because it says it's $2.90 there for a pie. Okay, Caitlin, wait there. Martin joins us. Good morning, Martin. Morning.

Good morning. Now, you're going to nominate your favourite bakery. What is it? I have to say a colour because it's colour specific in this place. It's the Red Bakery in Tuako. The Red Bakery. Oh, you're saying that there's multiple bakeries in Tuako, so this is the one in the red building?

Yes. Okay, all right. Okay, so this is the one in the red building? Yes. Okay. All right. Okay, so we don't actually know the proper name, just that it's red. Now, what's your favourite bit there? What's your favourite item? Potato top pie now. Oh, yes.

Oh, la potato top. Now, does it have cheese on the top of the potato top, like a grilled cheese? Yeah, it's got cheese and chives. Oh, and chives. Oh, and chives. Chives and chives. Oh, interesting. Chives would put me off, but I was looking at that. There's a photo on Google from the Clendon Bakery

that we heard before, Bakery No. 1, of their potato top pie. I tell you what, there's no chives on it. I think chives is a big selling point. But the cheese, grilled cheese. Now, I'm just looking. I'm trying to hunt down which of these bakeries in Turco it is. The Fresh Bun Cafe is not that one because that's in a green building.

Yeah, yeah. Is it? It's a red one. It's a red one because there's a red one, there's a black one, there's a green one, and then there's a blue one. Oh, yep. Executive Intern Anya's found that. That's the Turco Bakery and Lunch Bar Cafe, we believe, through our intense. That's got a four-star Google review.

Oh, okay. That's pretty good. That's pretty good stuff. And it does look like a classic Kiwi bakery. Yeah, I think I'm going to vote for Martin today for the classic Kiwi bakery. I'll go Clendon. And then I guess that means the deciding vote is Hay today for the Classic Kiwi Bakery. Right, I'll go Clendon. And then I guess that means the deciding vote is up to Hayley for once. I just jumped

in there so I didn't have to be the person that picked. Yeah. Hayley, deciding. Martin, you, it sounds like a great bakery, but I can only speak from experience, and I've been to the Clendon one, and it is truly extraordinary. So today, Are you breaking Martin's heart?

I am. Today it is bakery number one. The Clinton Bakery. Congratulations. Congratulations, Martin. Thank you for your nomination. And then, Caitlin, congratulations. You have won your favourite cafe's laminated certificate.

On the way to them there at the Clinton Bakery. They may want nothing to do with this certificate. Some bakeries have chosen to put it up. Yeah, some have. It's a huge award. It's right up there with the Emmys.

Yeah, well it is the Emmys of bakery. It really is. The bakery Emmys. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Caught the old NZ772 red eye yesterday. Are you just making up flight numbers? Yeah.

Flew down from Auckland to Wellington for to Red Eye yesterday. Are you just making up flight numbers? Yeah. Yeah. We flew down from Auckland to Wellington for Bangers Bingo last night. Beautiful flight. Great night. Wellington really turned it on. Yep. Great venue as well. Yeah.

Special mention to the Les Mills girls who about halfway through just turned to the waters and I made a joke and they said they had an early spin class. They are heroes. They are heroes. They are heroes. And they also did let you try the gym yesterday. Yeah, they did.

For free. God, it was hot in there. Aircon. Crank that aircon. That's good. You've got to sweat it out. No, I sweat it out. It's a good gym.

I'm a wet mess when I leave the gym, even if it's at 17 degrees. I like it. I'm a wet mess. So yesterday I was just a swamp creature by the time we left that establishment. So we're in Wellington. We flew down and I went through the security check. Yeah. And I made a purpose of checking in my pocket knife.

I made a purpose for my check. This is a handcrafted pocket knife you got for your Christmas? Anniversary. My wife got it for me. I love it. And it's very handy to have a pocket knife on you. Yeah, and you're always just sort of waving it around in studio, to be fair.

Picking at your hands. Great for getting stuff out from under the nails. And so I checked that in. Now, in my bag, I also thought, I'm coming to Wellington. My friend Johnny lives here, and when he was up over summer, he left behind this handy I call them a Leatherman,

even though I know that's the brand. It's one of those tools that's got a bit of everything on it. It's got a knife. It's got a hammer. It's got, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's got pliers. Everything. It's got a spoon on it, a fork.

It's got everything. A knife. No, he just didn't have a spoon and a fork. Oh, okay. They take up a lot of room on a Leatherman. It has a hammer on one end, though. Yeah. So when Vaughn

gets pulled aside and they go through his bag, this woman pulls out what looks like a giant hammer with knife attachments on it. Now, the hammer wasn't the problem. The only problem was you were allowed a blade up to six centimetres, and this was six and a half centimetre blade.

Oh, so you were half a centimetre over. I was half a centimetre. That's not the only time my size has got me in trouble. Is that because the blade, like at six centimetres, you won't die if they shiv you in the side, but 6.5 centimetres, it's all over. You reached an organ. Yeah, you reached, yeah.

I don't know why they decided six centimetres. But then someone took a tennis racket on, and I'm like, well, I could bludgeon somebody with a tennis racket. See, that's why. I mean, I wouldn't, but I'm just saying there's no uniformity in the thing.

Like, either ban everything. Yeah. Vaughan, I hope you didn't use Fletcher's argument when they took this knife from you. Oh, no, that was so lovely because I thought

you were getting arrested. I thought this is it. No, no, she went back through, showed me where to go to post it. So I spent like $3 on a postage thing and just sent it straight to Johnny rather than handing it to him in person in Wellington. Yep. And that was

and when I came back through, she gave me a thumbs up. I said, hey, thanks for the understanding on that. And she's like, that's okay. These things happen. And I was like, that's cool. Because if it was in America, it'd be the TSA. It'd be face down with cable tied hands behind my head. And an AR-15 pointed at the base of my brain. No, you're white.

You'll be fine. Oh, okay. Right. I forgot about that. I am always forgetting. I am always forgetting about the privilege I've been gifted in life for doing absolutely nothing. But yeah, a lucky escape from you, Vaughn. A lucky escape.

But we want to know when you had an airport whoopsie. Maybe it was a, because they're ruthless too on the $400 fines if you forget about a bit of fruit in your bag coming back into New Zealand. Oh my God, remember international travel? Yeah, the glory days. Are they still dishing those out in quarantine time? So they still have a beagle there?

I think they will, but I think, yeah, there'll hardly be anyone going through the airport. So you probably actually get more of a rigorous check. Yeah, true, because the bagel doesn't have as many bags to snuff. Yeah. But yeah, I know of people that have had year fines for leaving stuff in their bag or going through airport security and something showed up. Forgetting about what was in their bag. Like an adult fun toy.

Oh, dear. Actually, a friend had some fluffy handcuffs. Well, you can't take handcuffs. No. It's an article of restraint. Yeah, so they had to, even though, you know, those novelty ones that have a safety thing? Yeah.

You could easily get out of those. Especially pilots, if you were a handcuff pilot, because those dudes are kinky. Pilots are super kinky. Well, they're away from home so much. Oh, right. Okay. They really have time to develop their kinks.

I had a friend who made a terrible joke as their friend was going through security and the beeper went off. Beep, beep, beep. And then my friend on the other side said, oh, she's got a gun. Oh, no. Yeah. What? No, no, no.

This is without a word of a lie. He got arrested. No. He got arrested straight away. He spent a night in a jail cell and then he got banned from flying for a year. But there was no gun. What was the beeping?

I don't know. Your friend that made the joke got arrested or the person that they joked about got arrested? My friend that made the joke. This was like maybe 10, 11 years ago. There was a guy in the news just this week that said a bomb joke. Getting on a plane and he was in court this week. I know.

I made the joke about having a dinosaur in my bag once. And that woman was so shitty at me. She's like, what kind? I was like, what? And then I. Pterodactyl. Yeah, it's a pterodactyl. Its wings are bound though, so it shouldn't be a problem.

Now, that's ludicrous. And she was so angry at me. I know.odactyl. Yeah, it's a pterodactyl. Its wings are bound, though, so it shouldn't be a problem. Now, that's ludicrous. And she was so angry at me. I know. She called security. Yeah. We had to talk her down. We said, dinosaurs are extinct. Yeah, they've been extinct for millions of years.

And the pee is silent. Rattling the cage. Yeah. Yeah, I think it was just a box of headphones. Yeah, it was just radio equipment. Yeah, yeah. So we want to know when you've had an airport whoopsie. Maybe it was at security or you got a fine

or you left something embarrassing in your bag and you got hauled over at security and they had to fish it out and everybody saw. Because you know when they don't know what something is? Because that's what she said to me yesterday. I'm not really sure what that was. So that's why I got it out. I was like, oh, that's fine.

But imagine what does an adult fun toy look like on an X-ray? I reckon they know what the Satisfyer Pro 2 looks like. But when a new one comes out, do they have to... It's got a very unique shape. Yeah. Do they have to get Sue

to bring in the latest to run it through the X-ray so they can all see what it looks like? Maybe. Who knows? Maybe. Well, if you've had an airport whoopsie,

give us a call. Share your story. 0800-DIAL-ZM. Jodie! My mate's over the road. The guy we're talking about. He's waving! The power of radio.

Johnny! Johnny! Johnny! Johnny! Delivers Coke in Wellington. He's down there. And the reason we're talking about airport security is because I had to post him as Leatherman Tool because it was too long a blade to get through airport security.

And we're taking your calls now. Of those times you've had a whoopsie at the airport, maybe going through security. Yeah. And some text messages in, oh, we're trying to get a hold of somebody who worked as an airport security officer. Because I've had all the stories.

Would you, like, if someone was being, I don't know, annoying, or they were, you know, just, would you take your time with their stuff and go through all their stuff? If they were smug or if they were making that noise or if you spotted them in the line, this is on the way through security, if they looked like they were, like, pushing past people or being really impatient, I'd probably, yes. Because there must be a button on that wand thing that makes the noise, eh?

There's got to be. And they're giving you the wave, and they're like, oh, do you have any surgical implants? They're like, no. You're like, oh, interesting. I'd make them all the time. Can we just get you to take off your pants and go back through? Be great.

Canceled. You'd lose your job for that. Well, would you? Let's see. Some other text messages in. Somebody said that I flew to Christchurch to see my partner who was on a carpeting course. A what? A carpeting course.

Learning how to lay carpet, I'd imagine. Oh, okay. Because that's a whole thing. Yep. They make it look easy. But I imagine it's not. God, no. I wouldn't know.

I'd say it's a real skill. Because I'd cut it and I'd be like, oh shit, there's a gap of an inch. I need a whole new carpet. It's all about tugging. You've got to put, you laid, are you talking about carpet laying? Yeah. Yeah, you lay it down, but then you pull it. You've got to tug it.

You stretch it. There's a machine for it, isn't there? Yeah. And then you've got to knee it into the corners and staple it down. And then the key to being a great carpet layer is not being able to see the joint. Anyway, we're getting distracted talking about carpet laying. I flew to Christchurch to see my partner who was on a carpet course.

He asked me to take a tool down for him, which was this giant steel pole. Oh, okay. When questioned what it was, I actually had absolutely no idea. And then I stumbled and sounded really nervous as to say it was my partner's carpeting tool. Luckily, they let me through with it,

but it was very awkward. I thought I was going to get in big trouble for taking an unknown steel pole on board. Rick's called through. Rick, what was your airport security whoopsie? Hey guys, how you going? Good. Alright, I actually managed to bring through

a Freemason dagger. The actual Freemason sign, so this thing, you push it through and it's about a four- to five-inch blade that comes through the other side. I went all the way to the US. Right. Everywhere, checked through my bags,

opened this thing up everywhere while I was nervously thinking, oh, here we go. They put it all the way back into its case and said, good luck, Mr. Matera, and carry on. Wow. And that's a massive blade. That would be too long to tank

on the plane, but they just didn't pick it up. No, they pulled it out. They had a look at it. They put it back in its case and I basically got safe journeys all throughout the US, which Maybe they were another Freemason. Yeah, you bloody Freemasons. I see your lodges around and they look run down on the outside nowadays,

but I bet on the inside they're coated with gold. Rick thinks he called Caleb. You head an airport whoopsie. Hey. How you doing? Good, mate, good. Coming good. You're good.

I had some old bullets from work because I'm in the military and I took them as a ball-lightness, and I had them in the bottom of my bag, and I went to the studio, like, what are these? And they're like, it's a ball-lightner. And then they asked me for my firearms license and stuff like that, and I was like, no, not on there at the moment.

And then they just basically said, yeah, we can't really have them because you can stab someone, so I said, it might be quite sharp. I mean, I really don't know too much about it. So the problem wasn't that they were bullets because they'd been used, right? So it was just a casing, but they said they could be quite sharp. Yeah, because it was a bottle opener. Yeah, it was a bottle opener.

That's a bit weird. Yeah. Because unless you're going to throw the bullets, you couldn't throw them fast enough. Oh, I've tried throwing a bullet. I've held up a few banks in my time, and throwing bullets, I'll tell you what, it doesn't work. No, it's not very threatening, is it?

It does not work. Yeah, not threatening at all. Hey, thanks'll tell you what, it doesn't work. No. It's not very threatening, is it? It does not work. Yeah, not threatening at all. Hey, thanks for your call, Caleb. Some text messages. I bought back, I got caught with 200 Skyrockets in my carry-on luggage to Perth. What? No, that's just, that's all the text says. There's no follow-up of what the repercussions were or anything like that.

Was that text sent from prison? That's maybe why it was so short, because the guards were doing their rounds on an old Nokia, because those are the easiest ones to smuggle into Priz. I flew from Paris to Auckland via Dubai with a razor in my hand luggage. A razor? You're allowed to take shaving razors, but not... Not like a cutthroat blade. My shorts were too short,

and I got pulled up and had to go through the full body scanner and got patted down in the USA. I bet that's a woman. Wouldn't that make you less of a security freak? I think that sounds like a hot woman's text today. Yeah. Coming back from Australia, my niece had bought some wooden eggs. We were put in a special

room after the x-ray. It was very scary. We didn't know what we had. Oh my god, I have a story. Remember that time I had a skull in my suitcase? Oh, yeah, the Mexican decorative dead skull. Yeah, in Cuba. And they hauled us in and said, are these your bags? And we were like, yes.

And I said to my friend, I was like, are you smuggling drugs and not telling me? And then they opened up and saw that it was just a skull. They thought it was human. Because they'd x-rayed everybody's back. They just said it was a skull. Yeah. Very tiny human skull though. Somebody else said,

my mum had a favourite oven scraper. Everybody's mum's got a favourite oven scraper. That they like to take on holiday. Christine loves putting that ceramic cleaner on top of the oven and then giving it a clean. Anyway, they said mum's favourite oven scraper. Christine loves putting that ceramic cleaner on top of the oven and then giving it a clean with it. Anyway, they said mum's favourite oven scraper,

the blades were available in Australia. And she said, well, we're going to Australia, so I'll just take the blade with me and just get the same blade when I get there. Yeah, right. But she couldn't get them in New Zealand. She got pulled over at security for having a big aggressive blade in her wallet. And they took it off her. She was very upset about that. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast.

Yesterday, walking down Lambton Quay in Wellington, which deviates slightly to talk about how drippy Lambton Quay is now. So that's very, the whole walk was very drippy. Very drippy walk. I know it was raining, but there's awnings over the entire Lambton Quay, but there's a lot of gaps, a lot of drips. Lambden Quay doesn't get a lot of sunshine. That's the reason why.

It's its own little cave. So you think that rain sits for too long and maybe it's rusted through some of the awnings or overflows quickly and easily, do you think? I can't justify these drippy awnings. I won't hear a pair of words about Wellington. Very trippy. Very trippy.

I love Wellington, but it's a trippy city. Trippy awnings. Like the whole, like, let's get the council to sort that out. Because you need an umbrella under the awning, and that's just not right. No, no, no, no, not at all. I reckon that's the least of Wellington's weather worries. Drippy awnings Wellington's weather worries.

Drippy awnings. And council worries. We've got a lot on their plate, but drippy awnings will be last on the list. Well, we were walking down Lampden Quay and something caught my drip, and I think I'd just been dripped on, which made me look to see where the drip was coming from, and I turned to my left and I saw the Peter Alexander store. Now, Peter Alexander, we've met him.

We have met him. Makes pyjamas. Yes. Quite aamas. Yes. Quite a character. Yes. He took a shine to you, didn't he? Didn't he?

I didn't want him to bring it up, but now that you brought it up, yes. He definitely took a shine. Yeah. He's got a type. I think you're his type. In the window,

I saw the latest collab because Peter Alexander does collabs with people and it's with 1990s Nickelodeon. So, immediately, it caught my eye there was Nickelodeon. So immediately it caught my eye. There was a SpongeBob. SpongeBob's still very relevant.

SpongeBob's still cranking out new episodes. It's as good as it's ever been. But one thing that really caught my eye was a set of pajamas of the Rugrats. Now, Rugrats, I loved Rugrats when I was small. I know you did. The hilarious adventure of Tommy Pickles and Chucky and Phil and Will and Angelica with their doll Cynthia. Yeah, she was a bitch.

And everybody knew it. She's actually been cancelled. Has she? Surely. Oh, 100%. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I saw that and I was like, man, I'd love those pyjamas.

And I said to Fletch, Rugrats pyjamas, that'd be all right, eh? Because I don't wear pyjamas so much. Yeah. I'll get into, like, I'm certainly not a t-shirt to bed. I'm an undies guy, but I'd wear a pair of boxers to bed. And Fletcher's like, I don't know. I don't know if you can wear Rugrats pyjamas. And also, I mean,

I love a bit of Peter Alexander. I don't own any because of how expensive it is. Yes. So you're gonna buy some of the most expensive pyjamas, even though you're not a pyjama man. And worse still, they're covered in babies. Rugrats. Rugrats, yes.

And you are a 39-year-old man. Yes. It's a bit weird. And also, we did some digging, Hayley, on the website. These are female only. Yeah. Yeah, I'm having a look at the website too. The specific Rugrats design that I loved so is, yeah, it's female only.

I think you could pull it off. Would you get the skinny leg sort of track pants style or would you go for the booty short? There's one here called a beaver cut. Oh, good Lord. That's actually a sweatshort. A sweatshort. Okay.

It's a sweatshort. Right. But again, you're right. I'm seeing the price here and I'm being put off. There's a drop crotch. Now, I think I had a drop crotch pair of Peter Alexanders, but they were personally given to me by Peter Alexander, so I didn't pay for those.

Yeah. They've got SpongeBob on them. But yeah, there's no designs with Rugrats on specifically for men. But I mean, should that stop me? If you want the freedom of your male parts not being confined by female pants, they do have a Rugrats nightie that you could wear. Just a one-piece slipover. They'll be comfortable.

You think I could pull off a Rugrats nightie? I'm looking at the nightie, and absolutely I think you could pull this off. When did men stop wearing nighties? Because I'm thinking of... In the old movies, they wear nighties, don't they? In England, they always wore a nightie. Like in Charles Dickens. In Bridgerton, did they wear a they? Victoria in England, they always wore a nightie. Like in Charles Dickens.

In Bridgerton, did they wear a nightie in Bridgerton? Probably wore a nightie. And that guy's hot. He was wearing nothing in Bridgerton. He was wearing nothing, actually. We've run a poll, though, on whether or not it is creepy for you, Vaughan, to, as a 39-year-old man, wear Rugrats pyjamas. Yeah.

What's the breakdown? Vaughan wants these PJs. The question was cute or cringe. Yeah. Give me the breakdown. Vaughn wants these PJs. The question was cute or cringe. Yeah. 34% cringe. That's two thirds cute. 66% cute. There you go.

But it's cute in the fact that cute girls pyjamas with little babies on them. It's hard not to be cute in that. But I'm just wondering about how this is going to kill sort of things in your marriage. Are you talking sexually?

I am talking sexually. I don't know if Sade is going to see you coming out of the bathroom ready for a good night's sleep in your women's booty shorts and your children's top. What if I'm humming

the Rugrats theme song? I'm like... All right, it's ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound. It's all thanks to Star streaming now on Disney+, including more originals like Solar Opposites. You can learn more at DisneyPlus.com. We welcome to Secret Sound, Chris. Good morning, Chris.

Oh, good morning. All right, you're very chipper. You are playing for $20,000 cash. Wow. Wow. Just while you were on hold there, were you thinking about how you'd spend that money? Not really.

I was just hoping that I'd get on. Oh, wow. You made it this time. I mean, even if it's a wrong guess, you get $100, so you can't lose. This is the secret sound. Now, all of the wrong guesses that have been made in the closer we've had, you can find ZM Secret Sound on Instagram.

Soundkeeper Owls is standing by for $20,000. Chris, what do you think the secret sound is? Is the secret sound somebody ripping newspaper? Horne, do you have some paper there? Could you rip some paper? No, I don't have newspaper. I've got a piece of paper. Have you got a newspaper? Because it does sound different.

No, but this will do for now. Are you ready? Yeah. Oh. I'll give you another one. Just a bit of a rip. That sounded nothing like it. That was a terrible rip.

I mean, maybe when it's up close. Could be. Chris, have you just been sitting at home ripping lots of newspapers? Yeah. Yes, I have. Yeah, nice. I can picture that. All right, well, we'll get down to it.

Chris, for $20,000, your guess was ripping newspaper. And I can say that that was not the secret sound. Oh, Chris. I'll stick around for a little bit longer. All right, another shot coming up at 11 with Georgia right throughout the day at 1, 4 and 5. But Chris, $100 cash for you.

Congratulations. All right, it is time. Day flashback. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I can't believe I've let this through. Executive intern Anya does not want this to play.

This song, she's vehemently against it. I'm not on board with this. Ross, for the record, I was not on board with this. Ross, for the record, I was not on board. This song originally released in 1968, but we're playing a cover of it. It's been covered multiple times. Multiple times.

Okay. It's a great song. This version of the song peaked in the US at number one. Okay. Canada, number two. Australia, number four. New Zealand, it got to number seven. Okay. Okay, so two. Australia, number four. New Zealand, it got to number seven. Okay. Okay, so it's not even

a banger in New Zealand and we're playing it. It's seven. That's pretty good. It's featured on Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2. The soundtrack.

And it was also in Ally McBeal. And it very famously, if you look this up now, Ally McBeal dancing baby, the CGI was terrible. But at the time, we were pretty amazed that that's how good CGI had got. I don't think we need to delay this anymore. From 1973, from Blue Suede, ladies and gentlemen,

today's Friday Flashback hooked on a feeling. Who's your choker alarm at home, a feeling I can't stop this feeling Deep inside of me Girl, you just don't realise What you do to me When you hold me In your arms so tight You let me know everything's alright

I'm hooked on a feeling I'm high on believing That you're in love with me It's as sweet as candy It's tasty, it's on my mind Girl, you got me thirsty For another cup of wine Got a blunt from you, girl

A cure I should stay affected If I can't for sure All the good love When we're all alone Keep it up, girl Yeah, you turn me on I'm hooked on a feeling

I'm high on believing That you're in love with me All the good love When we're all alone Keep it up girl Yeah you turn me on I'm Put down a feeling. I'm high on believing that you're in love with me.

I'm hooked on a feeling. And I'm high on believing that you're in love with me. I said I'm hooked on a feeling. And I'm high on believing that you're in love with me. Well, that just fades out, doesn't it? Wow. It's a beautiful song. I can't believe we just played it.

It's today's Friday flashback. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well. This is what happens when you let me drive the ship. We've had a message from Ross Boss. It's Blasphemy, so I can't read that. Blasphemy Vaughan was his message in. Right. So he's not happy.

I want to say fair enough, and I want to get on this bandwagon, but honestly, I enjoyed that. And everyone in the office here in Auckland is dancing. Yes. Because we're in the Wellington studio, you can actually see people in their cars, and I think they enjoyed that. Yeah, I saw some bopping.

Some bopping? They were bopping. Some text messages in. This takes me back to the sweet, sweet days of songs at the fat lady's arms. Somebody else said, what the actual F, but then followed up with the laughy cry

face, so I think they're on board. Loved it, loved it, loved it. Took me back to the Outback circa 1995. Defo a banger. I had to check I was listening to ZM. That's a good point. You know, you did. You came across a real classic there they were probably confused

because it wasn't by 660 which I can see the confusion you can but that's a classic so you've hit this out of the park you'd say

absolutely knocked it for six okay great like Marty Guptill back on cricket analogy or something fantastic very pleased with that

this is where you can never doubt me when I want to pick an old song yeah every time baby wasn't a shitty mood but now my day's turned around oh you've was that was worth it for that one person yeah yeah totally totally yeah always worth it okay we'll move on now i'll bathe in my own glory later hayley all right coming up on the show

right now let's do it right now we're doing it right now yeah let's do it right now this is hard because today hayley's in the Auckland studio, we're in the Wellington studio. And then during that song, everybody just wanted to dance. I actually think we're doing a good job because my parents, and actually this next article, I'm interested to hear their take on it. But my parents were like, how on earth did they get back to Auckland for a 6am start?

You'd never know. Maybe they thought you had a private seat. Radio magic. Radio magic. Anyway, so parents out there, you may all deny it and say that you don't have a favourite kid. Vaughan, you've got one, don't you? That's still in the competition phase. I feel like that's not something I can establish

after the teen years. Yeah, well the teen years are a very trying time. I truly put my parents through it. But everyone has a favourite and there's a girl in the US who is suspicious that she is no longer the favourite after she came home to find that the cabinet that every mother has, the cabinet covered in family photos, she noticed something odd. Mom, did I get bumped? How did Gumby?

I'm not here. Well, you know what? Get married or be a baby. So she's got this covered in photos and it's all the new... It's the new grandkids and some of the siblings, but not her. Not a single photo of her.

And looking at the imagery, there's a lot of photos there. Weddings, babies. And this childless, unmarried woman has been bummed. Because she's childless and unmarried. Now, I won't speak on behalf of my parents. I'm sure my mum's going to message in shortly and let me know that I am the fave. But I'm definitely the favourite grandchild,

and we have this situation at my papa's house. It is a bit of a shrine to Hayley. Really? And there's just, you know, there's marching photos everywhere. There's performance photos. And my mum and dad keep trying to inject photos of my brother and, you know, my cousins and stuff. But you come back and where are they?

How many cousins are there all up that fall under grandad's lineage? He's got five grandchildren, three in Australia and my brother and I. But you're the predominant one in all the photos displayed around the house. Yeah, I mean, I'm the one who calls him the most. I'm the one that visits him the most. Fair enough. Everyone else is in Australia. Have they done anything to not deserve a photo?

Their absence. Just their absence, right? Yeah, they're not putting in the effort. That's fair enough then. You've worked for that. Here's what I want to know. You talk about the family favourite and, you know, all the photos being everywhere,

but I want to know why aren't you the family favourite? Oh, yeah, what have you done? That's what we should ask. Why aren't you the family favourite? Did you do something? Were you a terrible, were you like me, were you a gothic teenager and you never quite, your parents never quite recovered from it?

Or did you do someone rather than something that they didn't approve of, perhaps? Oh, yeah, perhaps. Okay, so let's ask that question this morning. 0800DARLS.M, give us a call. You can text in as well, 9696. Why aren't you the family favourite? What did you do? Yeah.

So we want to know why you're not the family favourite woman on TikToks. Getting a whole lot of views because she's outing her mum for bumping her off the family. Looks like a china cabinet. Yeah, big photo table. Big photo display, yeah. And she's been bumped because she doesn't have grandkids and she's never been married. And that seems to be the predominant photo on the family board now. Yeah.

I mean, you're an absolute failure in grandparents' eyes if those two things apply, aren't you? Oh, absolutely. You never hear the bloody end of it. That's you and me, Fletch.

Unmarried, no children. Yeah. You're done. Yeah. You're engaged though, so that gives old people hope. Yeah, it does. You know,

they sit in their Ryman, they're like, well, one day I'll be out of here. One day the shuttle van will take me to a wedding. Well, I'm flitting around being engaged. I'm getting older and older

and my ovaries are shriveling up. So they're also aware of that. Yeah, and they'll remind you about that. So why aren't you the family favourite? Some text messages in on it. My brother got caught having an affair, so I'm now 100% the favourite. Yes.

So that's outing the brother there. Yep, good. I'm a middle child. Lots of people, lots of middle childs just messaging in saying, I'm just the middle child. That good. I'm a middle child. Lots of people, lots of middle childs just messaging in saying, I'm just the middle child. That's why I'm not the favourite.

Here's from a middle child. Here's how you do it. You work hard. Yep. You constantly remind them what a great job you're doing at life. Yep. You have a couple of well-behaved children.

Yep. You're in. Constantly talking. Yeah, it helps that I look a lot like my dad. I think he looks at me and he can't help but like me because I look almost like a young version of him. Right, right. And then my mum's on board because, heck, I'm a lot like my dad. I think he looks at me and he can't help but like me because I look almost like a young version of him. And then my mum's on board because

heck, I'm a charmer. Right, okay. Yeah, so I'm easily the favourite and I'm in the middle, so don't count yourself out, middle children. It's a hard slog, but it's not impossible. I left my marriage to a man. I left my marriage to a man and came out

as gay and got a girlfriend. That was not ideal in my very Catholic family. So I had to fall from grace there. Hey, it's their loss. I'm not the oldest and I'm not the youngest and I'm not the only boy. So that's the reason I'm not the favorite. Yeah. Lots of people saying that too.

They might be the latest in a long line of children. And the parents are just sick of the children. Hey, it was their choice to have you. Yeah. Yeah, so we want to know from you why you're not the favourite. Katie, hello. Hi, hi.

So I'm not the favourite because I didn't almost die. Now, is there just one other sibling and they nearly died or do your siblings get involved in a long line of near-death experiences? Well, my younger sister, she got burnt when she was little.

She got third-degree burnt. It was a cardiac arrest while my mum was in the car. So she gave CPR and we say the rest of life is in her still because she's the favourite out of all of us. So, how did she get burnt?

She pulled down an oil burner. So it was mum's fault. So do you think she's favourite because of the guilt? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. That's actually a good tip to any middle children listening. If you can pile the guilt on your parents that could boost you up a couple of places.

Yeah, I was in a bit of an accident when I was a kid and I wonder if that's why I'm arguably the favourite. Though my parents have gone very quiet this morning. I'm asking them. Okay, Katie, thanks. You're called Candice. Why aren't you the favourite? Because I'm, I guess, was a girl,

the fourth girl in the line of grandchildren. They were definitely hoping for a boy, Candice. Yeah, they were. And then my brother came two years after me. Is he the favourite? Yeah, he was. He was. We moved to New Zealand,

so my grandmother's over in South Africa. But yeah, he was the favourite. Wow. All right. Okay, Candice, thanks for your call. Some other text messages. I'm not the favourite Because I'm not a sporting star

And my siblings are All very good at sports Or maybe they're all blacks Right Is this another Barrett You know Maybe yeah The other Barretts

Yeah There's a lot of Barretts There's a ton of Barretts Yeah there is It's like the other Hemsworth Who's not quite as successful As But he was in Westworld

Luke Luke Hemsworth Are you talking about Barry Hemsworth? I forgot Barry. Is there Barry? Yeah, he's not much looked at. I mean, he also got Barry, you know, as the name. They went with that first.

Dad Hemsworth. It's hot. I just want that for the record. It's a hot family. Somebody messaged in, my brother and I both have brain tumours. They're benign and we're both okay. They follow up with...

Which is great because I was immediately worried about them. That's a full on sentence. His was found first and was pretty bad for a while. He had a much worse time of it than I did.

A few years later I was diagnosed with my tumour which was much smaller and much more manageable. So the joke was that he's the favourite because he grew

a better tumour than I did. Is it a better tumour if it's more likely to kill you? I would have thought that would have been the worst tumurner.

Maybe meaning better as in like bigger and more impactful. Yeah. Yeah, right. Oh. Wow. Somebody said middle child here.

Sister owns three properties. Brother has his own business and then there's me. Broke, divorced, homosexual. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Right, okay. I've watched that film actually Broke Divorce

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