ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 26th March 2021

Episode Date: March 25, 2021

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Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Buy five McCafe coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. Real time, it's Friday after the show. We're going home any minute now. We've just got to do a couple of things in the office. Fri-yay. And we have just received the most horrible... Devastating news. Devastating news. Absolutely devastating.

Tell you what, I'll drink you for it. I heard you don't handle your booze so well anymore. So this should be easy for you. Lucille Bluth. That one didn't count. Lucille Bluth is dead. She's died. Jessica Walter.

You know, there isn't a hospital bar, mother. This is why people hate hospitals. Oh. Oh, she is the best part of that show. She was so good. She's died at the age of 80. And she was one of the voices on Archer. She was Mallory on Archer, right?

But she's been around forever. She was the mum on Dinosaurs. I'm the baby, you gotta love me. The mum. She was the voice of the mum on Dinosaurs. I'm the baby, you gotta love me. The mum. She was the voice of the mum on Dinosaurs. And she's gone. And she's passed away at age 80. Shit, that was, oh.

I mean, she was hilarious in that show. No. No, not now. It doesn't matter what age a celeb or someone that you've admired for a long time is. It's always sad. People say, yeah, well, she's 80. She was getting on. It doesn't matter what age a celeb or someone that you've admired for a long time is. It's always sad. People say, yeah, well, she's 80. She was getting on. It doesn't matter.

It's sad. Apparently, all that's known at the moment is she passed away in her sleep. I mean, that's how you want to go. Yeah, that's how you want to go. You don't want it to drag on longer than it needs. No, that terrifies me. I want to know it's coming a moment before it happens. Oh, my God.

I don't want to just go to bed and then be like. Not wake up. That's it. So you can hide. Oh, my God. I don't want to just go to bed and then be like. Not wake up. That's it. So you can hide everything in your side drawer. Yeah. Clear your internet history. Imagine that, having one hour to prepare for your death. What would you do?

Death's like, you open the door. He's like, hey, what up? One hour. Okay, I'm going to be back. I'll wait in my car out the drive, but we've got to go. Yeah. I know he's got some other people to go collect. He's like a parking warden.

He keeps moving down the street, marking other people with the chalk. He's got some other people to go collect. He's like a parking warden. He keeps moving down the street marking other people with the chalk. I take my laptop and I throw it in the ocean. What's on your laptop? Don't you worry yourself with it. It's gone. It's not something that you guys are going to have to deal with. It's gone. I'm leaving it. I'm proud.

I'm proud of what's in there. Knock yourself out. Fresh undies and a quick shave. No, but you're going to shit yourself when you die. You're going to shit yourself when you die anyway. Or whistle yourself. You're wasting time, Sproul. Okay, I'm going to shave from forehead down, basically.

Uh-huh. You're going to make something for the funeral director to do. Yeah. Oh, well, I don't know. Empty my bowels so that I don't. Shit yourself. So I don't shit myself when I die. Yeah, that's true.

Would you go for like a real nice last meal? Oh, heroin. Yes. Shit yourself. So I don't shit myself when I die. That's true. Would you go for like a real nice last meal? Oh, heroin. Yes. Heroin would be so hard to find within the hour though. Oh, I don't know where there's a will there's a way.

I reckon maybe we should all just buy some heroin in case. Does it expire? Is this a crazy plan? No. Is this a crazy plan? What are you talking about?

Does it expire? I don't want to die for many years. I don't want to die for many years I don't want to have 50 year old heroin And that's my only option Right you're trying to melt it in a teaspoon And it's not melting And you're like check the best before date

I think I would just take what I could get I would get booze and food You've said nothing about your partner Oh yeah bye But he would be I wouldn't want to let him know because he would try to, you know, prevent it or try to make it a romantic ending. I want to be alone.

Yes. Yes. Wow. Okay. We can't say what was. Smoking cigarettes. Yeah. Shooting heroin.

Drinking booze. And having one last wank. Thank you. I thought we were playing charades. I was just saying what she was. Yeah, yeah. You've got it. Yeah!

RIP, Jessica. ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fleece Fauna Megan. The podcast. Good morning. Welcome to the show.

Fleece Fauna Megan with Hayley Sproul, who's decided to turn up. Oh, look, a come and go is a place, to be honest. Look who's, you're like a cat. You got, and people have been dobbing me in as well, saying that I've been cheating on you with breakfast television instead of breakfast radio. I know, I know. And I have. Yeah, yeah.

And I prefer. That's how our relationship works. I prefer my old, stale marriage with you two than my sexy, glamorous mistress. Than your spicy, glamorous mistress. Then your spicy Latino mistress. Are you just coming back to us today because they've got rid of you? They don't need you today? Yeah, we've wrapped.

Yeah, you're right. Okay, yeah, right. I think originally I wasn't going to come in today and then I opened my fat gob and I said, oh, I think I'm actually coming back on Thursday. And Hannah was like, well, it'd be good if you came in on Friday. And now I'm tired.

And now now you're here. Well Secret Sound went while you were away. I can't I And it was an umbrella. Did you

did you get it? I didn't get it at all but the moment I heard I had a blunt umbrella on set so as soon as I heard it I was like oh my gosh and I did it

and I was like of course. There it is. How did it take that long? Bloody hell. I really wanted to be here for the celebrations. Confetti cannons. I know. It was good times. Georgia winning that, 50k. And her reaction was just honestly

so deserving. We've got the top six coming up. Vaughan Smith. Yeah, the top six are vaccination sites. This is the plan to roll out 50 sites for vaccinations. Around the country? Around the country. I think this is when it gets to like the third or fourth tier,

which is most of the population. Yeah, I thought you meant 50 sites on your body, the vaccination sites. I was like, generally the arm. Yep. But I don't know if they're going for the... Could you go between the toes? I've always wanted that heroin vibe of going between the toes.

Well, no, that's where spies inject people to kill them. Oh, really? Because they never pick up the needle mark. Yeah. Can you go between the toes? And the nurse is like, just in the arm. Just straight to the source? Isn't that why people put it in their toes?

I don't know. What's the source? I don't know. A couple of intravenous drug users. You're asking non-intravenous drug users something about drugs? I've no idea. All right, so you have the top six dealing with that. Yeah, the top six are locations for the vaccination sites.

All right, coming up in the top six. Also coming up, turns out young people are having less and less casual hanky-pank-panks. Hanky-pank-panks. Is that what they're calling it nowadays? That's what they're calling it. The young kids. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast. ZM.

Well, listen up, young adults. So no. Adults. So is that me still at 31? No, no, no, no, no. Well, no., young adults. So is that me still at 31? No, no, no, no, no. Well, no. You should be adulting full stop by now. Yeah.

God damn it. Okay, well. My mum called me middle-aged. What? I hit the pitch. I said, shut your mouth. Yeah, she called me middle-aged. I was like, what are you talking about?

I'm not middle-aged. I slapped like, what are you talking about? I'm not middle-aged. I slapped her. Slapped her across her stupid face. How dare you? Take her back, woman. Take her back. Was this on the phone?

No, it was in person. She said something about like middle-aged and I was like, I beg your pardon? She's like, well, there's no use denying it, Vaughn.

You'll be 40 next year. It's middle-aged. No, it's not. And she's like, well, how long are you planning on living? And then instead of breaking down that I'm halfway to 80, I'm going to be halfway to 80 again.

That's what middle age means, surely. Well, it's middle age because it's the middle of the age. I know, but I sort of feel like 50 is more middle age. So I called her an old bitch and we said it the old fashioned Smith way. We just said it swinging wildly. Well, this is an article.

This might make us feel better because this is an article about young adults. A study has shown that they're not having as much casual sexy times. Is it because of the pandemic? No, it's not. This generation's a bunch of whoops. No drinking. Yeah, it's not. This generation's a bunch of whoops. No drinking. Yeah, they're not drinking. Yeah, so there's two main factors that are leading to having less casual sex.

Because when you think about young adulting, back in the day, you think university, you know, like it was sort of hand in hand with some casual sleeping around. Yeah. Who are you? Who cares? Let's go. Yeah. But now, yes, the number one factor is that they're not drinking as much as previous generations.

Right. I can stand by that one. And because people that drink more have about five times more casual liaisons than people who don't drink. Wow. And now that there's, you know, there's less of a sort of alcohol culture amongst young people, Gen Zers.

Right. They're not sort of sloppily making decisions perhaps they wouldn't make. Yeah, and there'd be less regret, wouldn't there? Definitely. Yeah, which I guess is a good thing. Yeah, totally. That's good. I joked before, but it's good that they're drinking less.

More for us, eh? Let's go get the shelves. Producer Jared Vaughan has messaged through that middle-aged is a person I joked before, but it's good that they're drinking less. More for us, eh? Producer Jared Vaughan has messaged through that middle-aged is a person aged 45 to 65. Cite your sources, please. Cite your sources. I went on Google and said define middle-aged. And was that good enough for a source? Collins Dictionary or Merriam-Webster?

Definitions from Oxford Languages. Okay. I can trust them. They invented the comma, didn't they? They're to be trusted, aren't they? We've determined that no one in this room is middle-aged, which is good, but we're also not young adults. The second reason why young adults are having a decline in casual sex

is that they're gaming. Yeah. They're spending too much time inside, solo, not going out and hitting the clubs and meeting all the ladies. I thought you said gay men for a second there. I was like, are they not? Okay, yeah. I don't think so.

Yeah, gamers. Right, okay. Gamers are just, you know, they're not opening themselves to opportunities to meet casual people. Did you see that New Zealand gaming company has been bought for like $217 million? I was just reading that this morning.

When we were at school, they were like don't waste your time on PlayStation. Yep, that's just another, if you're up, ignore your teachers today. Go to university. Get a big student loan. And, you know. Remember when I was in school, they were like, oh, the trades.

I don't know, the trades. And you're like, wouldn't a trade be a bloody fantastic thing to have now? Oh, it would be. And everyone was like. Wasn't there some gamers that won Hallberg Awards the other night? Was there? Well, I know that esports and e-gaming is other night. Really? I know that eSports and eGaming is like huge.

Ripped. People are going up there. Lisa Carrington's up there with the guns that powder to multiple golds. All these rugby players, rowers, yachtsmen are up there and then some dude's like I just got this one. Just want to thank my mum.

He's got pie crumbs on him and he's holding a V. I've got to go, man. My avatar's in the lobby ready for the next game. Thanks for having me. I'm just going to take some food home now.

12 past six. You won't remember this, Hayley, but a long time ago, Vaughn took pre-workout. Oh, God, did you? He got a free sample. Good gains. Good M gains. ZM's

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A study's been done looking into pre-workout supplements and people that take those compared to those that take other things i.e. coffee. Because when you look at it, do you use, I know Vaughn

there's a famous incident where Vaughn tried to did I order protein and there was a free sample and I gave it to you I think so what did you get what's that

yeah it was an inquiry and you said it's pre-workout I said what that oh you take it before you work out why what is the whole vibe of it I think the idea take it before you work out. Why? All right. What is the whole vibe of it? I think the idea is it gives you, yeah, it increases your metabolism.

Gives you energy. Alertness, energy, yeah. Gets your fat burning going. And when you look in most of it, it's caffeine. Horrifying amounts of caffeine. And then a bunch of other stuff you don't know. I mean, amino chains. Yeah, I almost had a heart attack.

So did you feel it? Horribly horrible. Because I don't really get stimulated by caffeine at all. I'm not a coffee drinker. And then when I have it, I don't really feel like, oh, I'm alert, I'm ready to go. Right. This was like my heart started racing.

I got lightheaded. I started seeing stars. You don't want to go and lift a big heavy bar if you're dizzy. Yeah. But then some people swear by it. Like they find one that works for them and, you know, they might be taking it after a long day at work. Do they shit their pants every time?

Getting jazzed. I don't know. Just me. Yeah, a little bit. So they've worked at, studies looked at pre-workout supplements versus just having a coffee. Right. And they have found that simply drinking a strong coffee half an hour before aerobic exercise can significantly increase the rate of fat burn.

What? And that is especially if the exercise is in the afternoon. Oh, yeah. Okay. if the exercise is in the afternoon. Oh, yeah, okay. So if you're going out for any cardio or weights, yeah, they reckon just have a strong coffee. And they say a strong coffee is three micrograms, the equivalent of a strong coffee. So what's that, a big heap teaspoon?

Probably. Of coffee? How much before the workout are you supposed to have this strong coffee? Well, they just said half an hour. Okay. Because I would rather do that than have the pre-workout. Because I've always got that blueberry icicle. And you're like, what's that flavor?

What is it? And there's a lot of chemicals and you don't know really what's in that, do you? Like lots of sweeteners. That's what makes you cack your car keys is that there's sweeteners in there. Oh, really? Is it sweeteners that rush keys is that the sweeteners in there. Oh, really? The sweeteners that rush through. Artificial sweeteners. So, yeah, a combination of coffee and aerobic exercise performed at moderate intensity in the afternoon

provides the optimal scenario for people seeking to increase fat burning during exercise. I'm going to try this. I'm going to have a coffee today and then I'm going to go and do some star jumps. But it's hard because we leave here and I've had three massive coffees. Yeah. So I'm like, do I need another coffee? Have another one. Is there a max amount of coffees you can have a day?

Oh, it varies, right? It varies. Yeah, there's a study every two days. Coffee's bad, coffee's good. It's like chocolate, it's good, it's bad. Red wine. I have a red wine for the gym every day. Yeah, so do I.

I have a block of dark Ghana and a glass of red. I saw a guy at the gym with a monster energy drink and he was like carrying it around like a water bottle and just sipping it. Yeah. Oh no.

That would make me chuck. 14 teaspoons of sugar in one of those 500ml monsters. Oh wow. You're drinking a couple of those or one a day. That's so much. That's a tiny,

you might as well just be putting 14 teaspoons of sugar straight in the gob. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. From the rat-infested ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there, vaccinations. Get them in your body. Vaccinations. Is this a your body. Vaccinations. Is this a workshopping a jingle? She'll be up between the toes.

Yep. That's all I've got so far. I reckon back to the lab. Back to the, okay. Yeah. Back to the drawing board. 50 vaccination centres are going to be opening. This is to get through, well, after that,

I think the priority one and two, the threes and the fours. Yeah, that's it. The general population. Yeah. We're not a three, are we? We're a four. We're a four, yeah.

Healthy, young, non-middle-aged people. Yeah, basically, yeah. So young. Fighting it off. Hot people. Although some sports, yeah, good-looking. Yeah.

Fit. I think that's level two. They're like good-looking, fit people. Oh, good looking. Yeah. Fit. I think that's level two. They're like good looking fit people. Oh, is it? Yeah. We better get in there. Sports people. I heard sports people have jumped the queue, some of them.

But I'm for that because the Olympics are coming up. We need the Olympics. A lot of them have to go to that. And also, I think anyone going overseas for work should get it. Because they're going to come back. And would we rather them be vaccinated or spread it round? Yeah. They should have to,

they'll have to isolate anyway when they come back, right? As long as, when are the Olympics? July. Planned for. Planned for July. Yeah, get the gymnasts.

That's what I like watching. The gymnasts. Oh, yeah. And like the badminton, you know, I like the sort of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The ones that we don't usually see on the tally. The ping pong.

Yeah. Yeah. The high divers. The high divers. The high divers. They're like. I love that. Because imagine if they walk to the end and then it goes quiet and they're like. Splash.

I'd be like, no! Drain the pool. It's a code vid. Code vid, yeah. It's not a code brown in this day and age. It's a code vid. Code vid, yeah. It's not a code brown in this day and age. It's a code vid. So are they going to be using

like stadiums or like 50 vaccination centres around New Zealand? And they're going to be up and running by early next week. I don't think we have 50 stadiums in New Zealand. But like, you know,

the kind of places that'd be easy to drive up to and just get a, because they're doing that in America. You just drive up. A little poke in the arm. Yeah. Mink.

Yeah, Dodger Stadium in LA was massive. Oh, that was testing and vaccinations later on. So I've got the top six spots for vaccination sites in New Zealand. Number six, airports. Yep. A boarding pass. Yep. Mask.

And I'll just give you one of these before you jump on the plane. Yeah. And then tick it off. Tick. They the plane. Yeah. And then tick it off. Tick. They're done. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six spots for a vaccination site. The Harbour Bridge.

When it's at a crawl or any part of the Auckland motorway, basically. Oh, you know where that roadworks is and has been and will forever be in Takanini. Yeah. Oh, my Lord. That could have a vaccination centre right in the middle of it. And it would actually probably speed up traffic. Because people wouldn't get any worse. Maybe like people who do the window washing at the lights.

Qualify them. Instead, get them qualified, get them to have a jab. I'd give a gold coin for that. Well, I hope there's not dishwashing sunlight in my vaccine. I bet it would clean it all out. Yeah. You get streaky. You get a streaky vision.

After they've injected you because they just injected you with sunlight liquid. Yeah. Well, they're certainly not using bugs, are they? No, they're not. Bugs window wash.

Bugs off. Bugs off. Not bugs off. Great window wash. Great window wash. Unpaid endorsement there for bugs off. Yeah, bugs off.

Number four on the list of the top six spots for vaccination sites. Chairlifts in the South Island at the ski fields. Oh, yeah. How are they going to get you, though? When they see you have a nurse on. Long needle.

You just have a nurse in the middle, so it's a three-seater or a quad, and then she just goes. Yeah, but hang on. She's in the middle of a three-seater. She's going to go. And then she's going to have to wait the whole track to loop back round and then get on another seat. Grab some more vaccinations and grab another one. It's too slow.

Yeah, right. We've got five million people to get through. Yeah, true. Or we could get multiple nurses on the job. A nurse per eight. They could just, as they're loading you on, when they slow it down, like for the newbies, when they slow it right down,

she could just be like, jab, jab, on your way. Up you go. Yeah, yeah. I just had another idea. I'll add it right down. Jab, jab, jab. On your way. Up you go. Yeah, yeah. I just had another idea. Oh, we're at two six. Okay. Number three, number four on the list

of the top six spots for vaccination sites, the internet. Basically, you can't use the internet until you get vaccinated. Yeah, but how will the anti-vaxxers

spread their internet conspiracies? You know what? If they can't, it's not the worst thing in the world. No, it's not. But they're the world. No, it's not. But they're a delight to read. Oh, yeah. Tickle.

Be so crazy. Number two on the list of the top six spots for vaccination sites, any 660 gig. Lots of people and a good spread. Well, yeah, think about the April, the concert coming up. Yeah, what is it? 55,000 people at Eden. Anzac weekend.

Yeah, the Saturday. Imagine that. You go in. Yeah. Scan your ticket. Get your vax. weekend. Yeah, the Saturday. Imagine that. You go in. Yeah. Scan your ticket. Get your vax. Jab. Yeah, and then after you get a jab,

you have to wait for 20 minutes to see if you have any reaction or anything. You'll be there for a few hours, aren't you? Yeah. And there'll be a St. John there. There always is. Oh, enough St. Johns for everybody. And number one on the list of the top six spots for vaccination sites. This is a new invention of mine.

And I think this would be really great. Okay. So we need to fence off an would be really great. Okay. So we need to fence off an area in the bush. Okay. I'm thinking we go behind one of those predator free fences. Okay. Okay. And then we kidnap a whole lot of

anti-vaxxers and we set them free in there and we hunt them with tranquilizer darts filled with vaccine. It's very Hunger Games. How much I would... Yes. We hunt them.

I won't lie to you. There's a part of me that's always wanted to hunt humans. I was thinking like a gun. Yeah, right. Like in Jumanji. A tranquilizer gun. I love that, Fletch. You went straight to manual.

I went in blow dart. You went in blow dart. I was thinking gun. Well, I like to sneak up and get really close. Oh blow dart. You went blow dart. I was thinking gun. Well, I like to sneak up and get really close. Oh, yeah, you're old school. You're old school. You're a bit more of a hang back lazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lazy hunter. I'm a trophy hunter. And that's the thing. I'd see an anti-vaxxer's child. I'd be like, no, because if they're here, there's a bigger one around. Hold your fire. I want a trophy one. And then you see one and it walks out.

He's like, I did my own research on YouTube. I'm like, this is the one. It's in my neck. And I'm like, got him. Bag him. Go down there, start gutting it. People are like, no, no, no, you've got your fire. I'm like, what?

What's happening? We're not eating this. I don't want to go to waste. You've got to go down and, start gutting it. People are like, no, no, no, you've gone too far. I'm like, what? What's happening? We're not eating this. I don't want to go to waste. You've got to go down and get a photo with him. You've got to go down and get a photo with him. Pulled up head.

Yeah. Bit of blood coming out the nose. That's me. That's me hunting humans. I'm all for it. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan,

the podcast. Now, there is a lot of fog this morning on State Highway 1, the Waikato Expressway, and there have been accidents on both northbound and southbound lanes. Now, at the moment, southbound, Meti Meti, Hampton Downs, southbound, State Highway 1 is closed.

So if you can take a detour, do that. And Transport Agency actually saying if you can just put off travelling this morning by a little bit, do that. And Transport Agency actually saying if you can just put off travelling this morning by a little bit, do that because visibility is extremely poor with fog on State Highway 1 there on the Waikato Expressway. So we'll update you.

You could what? You could say the Waikato Expressway is the Suez Canal. Because it's blocked. Yeah. Yeah. That was my seamless segue. Seamless segue. The story. Thank you. That was like silk. Yeah. That was my seamless segue. Seamless segue.

The story. Thank you. That was like silk. Yeah, it was. I remember learning about the Suez Canal in history at school. That's all I remember. Yeah. Runs through Egypt.

They made it. Egypt control it. Yep. They dug out the desert. Because otherwise you have to go around the bottom of Africa. What's the bottom of Africa called? The Cape... Oh, he's not there.

I just pointed at the... Our resident South African. Our resident South African. Cape Good... Good Hope? Cape Horn's the one at the bottom of South America, eh? Yeah. And Good Hope is the one...

Anyway, that can add two weeks to the journey of the most direct Europe to Asia route for container ships. So an average 47 container ships or shipping vessels pass through the Suez Canal per day. It's a two-way situation, unlike the Panama Canal, which it goes one way each time because there's a series of locks. The Suez Canal, I believe, is a two-way operation. Yeah.

Now, you may have seen photos of the giant container ship that is wedged long ways in the Suez Canal. God knows how. How? It's so big. There was a GPS, kind of like a flight tracker on your phone. You can see where planes are flying and have flown. There's one for container ships.

And I don't know if it was a coincidence or not, but the container ship that is now wedged sideways in the Suez Canal had drawn a dick and balls. And a bum. And a bum with GPS. Like, you could... He'd be like... I thought this was made up.

Yeah. But this is legit. The giant container ship that stuck drew a GPS. Penis. Penis. Yeah. C and B. Yeah.

And now it's wedged sideways. It is so massive. You see the photos and you're like, oh yeah, that's pretty big. It's insanely wide. It's 400 meters long, which is, and to put that into perspective, that's two inter-island ferries and it's longer than the Skytel. The Skytel is 320-odd metres. And it couldn't even get wedged in New Zealand's widest river

because we don't have a river that wide. That wide, no. I want to see the CNB drawing. So did it do it purposefully or accidentally draw a CNB? Well, I don't know. It just seems a very unusual accident. Yeah, I think people are wondering who the hell's driving this boat, piloting.

Captaining? Captaining. Captaining the ship. If they're drawing, I mean, they may have been waiting in the waters before they could go through. So is that allowed? Are you allowed to just kill some time? You've just got to kill some time. Are you going to see what the story is? Don't know. You couldn't even make this up. And then there were

photos yesterday of a tiny little digger, like real cute little digger, trying to dig it. I know. And I was like, oh, you're trying, little digger. Yeah, the little digger that could. You remember the little yellow digger books?

Yes. And the little yellow digger never gave up. And this is a little yellow digger and he's like, I'll get you out ship. And everyone's like, you're dreaming. But maybe he can.

Maybe he's got a dream. Well, apparently more diggers and more tugboats are on the way to try and get the ship out because you might not think it has any consequence for you, but it does. Yeah. Especially during COVID times, shipping is, I mean, most freight is, I think it's 95% of freight is shipping in the world.

And 12% of all international shipping goes through there. Yeah. And if you take out that includes, that discludes like America's East Coast, because that will go, well, East and West Coast, because it would be quicker to go through the Panama Canal. So if you exclude all of that, it's a lot of stuff coming our way. So a lot of New Zealanders worried that stuff will be delayed coming, as it already has been with COVID.

I know you're waiting for stuff, aren't you? I am waiting for stuff. What are you waiting for? A set of pillowcases. And I've been waiting. Where did you? From overseas. This saga has started in December.

It is now the end of March. I bought a duvet set in the beginning of December. From where? Overseas? On a website? America. Well, you bought a duvet without seeing or touching it.

Yeah, it's linen. It's flax linen. Can't go wrong. I bought it and then it got lost in, like, lost in

transit. Yeah. And then I emailed them and was like, where is it? They're like, it's lost in transit. They sent me another one.

This duvet turns up, no pillows. And I emailed them being like, you've forgotten the pillowcases. They're like, it's lost in transit. They sent me another one. This duvet turns up. No pillows. And I remember them being like, you've forgotten the pillowcases. They're like, no, the pillowcases aren't included. Oh, madness. And I was like, so now I have a duvet cover with no pillowcases. I was like, you know what? I'm in too deep. I'm just going to order the frickin

pillowcases and get them here. And now, they're probably on that ship. Stuck in the sewer canal. I am irate. Two pillowcases. Very nice. 100% flax linen in a sort of a rusty colour.

Oh right, okay. Really goes with the earthy tones of our bedroom. Okay, now I'm on board. This is why I love Fridays. board. Yeah. Alright. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. Bakery of the Day. This is why I love Fridays. Bakery of the Day. Gets you in the mood for a little post-show pastry. Yeah. I always

hope that when people call that it just happens to be in Auckland, they just happen to be around the road. So you can go check it out on the way home. I know. This is why it's good to add it to the travel bucket list. I know. Yeah. So. We should do a Bakery to add it to the travel bucket list. I know. Yeah. So. We should do a bakery of the day roadie.

Where we just go around and eat at all the bakeries. I like your thinking. Bring your stretchy pants. Bakery number one. Bakery number one. Heath, good morning. Good morning. How are you?

Good. Thank you. Where is bakery number one today? Te Amuru Kiwi Pies. Oh, okay. And so what's here? Obviously, you're nominating what? All the pies or one in particular? Oh, pretty much.

You can't go wrong. You could have a pie there every day for three days, three weeks, and you wouldn't have to have the same one. Oh, 21 pies. Oh, here we go. Yeah, they've got mince, mince and cheesesteak, steak and cheesesteak, and then wouldn't have to have the same one. Oh, 21 pie? Oh, here we go. Yeah, they've got mince, mince and cheesesteak, steak and cheesesteak, and then you take a mushroom. Bushman, what's the Bushman pie?

The Bushman pie is real good. Pork and kumara, sweet and sour pork, bacon and egg. You want me to keep going? They sound amazing. All in one. They sound amazing. This looks so good. Smoked fish, mussel pie.

I'm always a little bit not high about a mussel pie, but I'll eat it. When they work there, how do they identify you're not getting like a cheap pie or you're not getting

one of the bougie ones? Oh, they're fresh because the pastry falls on your lap so you can't really hide it from anyone when it's all over the floor of your uke.

Oh, yeah. It's nice, guys, and the fact that you've had a kiwi pie. And so there might be like different pastry decorations on the top of each pie to indicate

which one's which. Do they do other things other than pies, Heath? They do French stick, like baguettes, about 100 long. So chicken, plum, barbecue chicken, sweet and sour chicken, sandwiches,

wraps, slices. Sweeties? I can see a picture of a pretty good looking cream donut here. Chicken, sandwiches, wraps, slices. What about sweeties? Sweeties? What's a sweetie? I can see a picture of a pretty good-looking cream donut here. Yeah, donuts, yeah. $20. $20 and you're fed for breakfast, lunch, and sometimes 9 o'clock at night if it's still working.

Oh, my God. That's a whole bag. Hold on, that's a great food budget there. All right, Heath, wait there. A very passionate. That's at Rickett Road. That's at Rickett Road. Rickety Cricket Road there in Te Awamett Road. Rickety-crooket. All right.

Road there in Te Awamutu. So a nomination there for Kiwi Pies in Te Awamutu. Bakery number two. All right, Waverly, where's your bakery nom? Hi, it is Woodend Bakery in North Canterbury. Now... Woodend. I'm looking.

Just hearing about Kiwi Pies, do you think Woodend Bakery's better? Well, it's a stiff competition, I guess, but North Canterbury knows how to make pies. You've got to back yourself, Waverly. Waverly, I've searched Woodin Bakery, the top one, Woodin Bakery on Facebook, five stars. However, the first TripAdvisor is a one star and it says pies from hell. Oh, God. Pies from hell.

What did they do? Those are fighting words. OMG, what the hell has happened here? Mutton pie. Someone ordered a mutton pie. It was a rubbery. Oh, come on. That's one mutton pie.

You can't cast aspersions. No. I'm looking at a five star review of this place, Woodend Bakery, and this person loves them so much they bulk buy and then freeze them. Oh, yeah, that's a good – Oh, wow. Okay. So you know that it's good if you're going to bulk buy.

Side note, and you're included in this Waverly. I don't want to think you've been excluded from this chat. Reheating an already cooked but frozen pie. Yeah, I wouldn't do that. No, no, no. I think maybe they'll offer a takeaway frozen. Pre-cooked. Right. Even still. Because if you were to re-cook

a pie that had been cooked and then frozen, would you defrost it to room temperature? Yes. No, I don't know. Then bake it again. Yes. A secondary baking. Or just go to the bakery and buy a new one. What else do they sell? Because I'm reading another review here, Waverly, that says, I have never seen, it's called, the title of the review is called Masterful Bakery.

Oh. And they say, I've never seen such full and colourful cabinets. So colour makes me think of their sweeties. Oh, lollies and delicious slices, Waverly. Oh, yeah. Those slices are amazing. I cannot go there without bringing home a lolly cake for my boyfriend. Lolly cake! Delicious slices, Waverly. Oh, yeah. Those slices are amazing. I cannot go there without bringing home a lolly cake for my boyfriend.

Lolly cake! I can see lolly cake. It is a Chelsea bun or two, caramel slice. Is it a thick, big lolly cake? Because I saw a bakery there. I actually went into it. I think it's a cafe or a bakery. And their lolly slice was a slither. I was like, get out of here.

Get out of here. Yeah. All right. They're pretty thick. Good. Yeah, I like it. out of here. Get out of here. Yeah. All right. They're pretty thick. Yeah. I like that. Brilliant. All right.

I'm going to vote. I'm going kiwi pies for the white butter flavour. Waverly got me with the colourful cabinet and the lolly cake. So I'm going Waverly. That means you have the deciding vote, Hayley Sproul, this morning. Okay. I'm going to go with my gut. Okay.

And I'm going to... I'm going Woodend Pies and Canterbury. Oh, you are. Waverley, you've taken it out. Unbelievable. Congratulations. It was as easy as saying fit slice of lolly cake, and these two just became in your hands.

I tell you what, though, kiwi pies, that's a must stop by the sounds of it. Oh, absolutely. It really was a battle of the pies today. So thank you, Heath. But Waverly, you have taken it out for Wood End Bakery, today's bakery of the day. Congratulations. Yay!

They're going to love me. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. An expert is chiming in on whether or not eating lunch at your desk is a good idea. I'm guilty of this because, you know, you're already sitting. You already sort of feel a little bit hungry. To leave the office or leave your workspace just seems like too much effort. But I think if I worked a nine to five office job, I'd want to get out and find some,

I don't know, like a grassy bit to sit and eat, or get outside if it wasn't raining. A change of scene. A change of scene. Well, do you know, actually in France, for a long time,

they had made it like, that was forebode. They forebode sitting at your desk. So you had to get up and take your lunch break. But that's because baguettes are so long. This is not space. If anyone's having a meter long baguette, you'd be tapping baguettes. It'll be just like a sword fight with baguettes.

You'd be spinning around and someone would be like, Pierre. And you'd be like, what? And you'd be like, crash, smash. Poke an eye out with a bug head. Knocking over your computer monitor. Exactly. Yeah. So they would get a fine if they were caught eating at their desk, isn't it?

I quite like that because it's making you go out and get some fresh air. It's making you walk, even if it is just outside. Yeah. So it's basically about forcing you to take an actual break because if you are still eating at your desk, you're probably still on your computer. You're probably still having screen time. You're not actually allowing your brain to switch off.

Now, France did change this, obviously, because of COVID. They were like, don't go anywhere. Right, okay. Stay where you are. Yep. But yeah, they're saying it goes beyond that as well. So if you're, this is for people working at home. If you don't separate your workspace from your eating space,

if you've got a home office or, you know, like many of us in COVID, we're working from home, you will unconsciously eat all day long. Yes, yes, yes. Because you don't have that clear, speaking of which, I've just had a scone delivered. Thank you. You want butter with that scone? I have got butter with that scone.

Yeah, girl, get it. I don't have butter with this. I do. It's in the bottom. It's all right. I'm not... Get out of here! Go get her another stick of butter!

The woman wants another stick of butter! The irony of me doing this story while a scone is being delivered, I'm about to eat it as soon as I finish talking. And you're not going to go outside to eat it. You're going to eat it at your desk. I don't have time! So if you don't decipher your workspace from your food space, unconscious eating, you're going to pack on the pounds.

You're never going to feel full. You're never going to feel hungry. You're going to spoil all of your meals, your metabolism. It's stuff. Right. This is basically the story of the last year for everyone, right? Absolutely. And the other thing is if you don't walk away from your desk

and take, you know, ideally 30 minutes or something like that, your productivity will decrease, they're saying. Right. It's just like one long monotonous day. Right. It's actually better for workplaces to kick you out. It is indeed. Or for you to get out.

All right. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Thanks for having us last night, Hamilton, at the helm there. Beautiful. Bangers bingo. The final bangers bingo of this stretch. Oh, and do you know what? My first time at the Hamilton Gardens, Hay. The final bangers bingo of this stretch. And do you know what?

My first time at the Hamilton Gardens, Hayley. Isn't that amazing? Because I always saw pictures of the giant door and I was like, oh yeah, it's just a little garden with a giant door. But it is. Come on. Oh my God.

And the Sistine Chapel is just a little doodle with a brush on a ceiling. You know, come on, man. Come on, man. But oh my God. I wouldn't say to people, oh my God, you've got to go visit these gardens. No, I know. But I would actually say, oh, my God, you've got to go visit those gardens.

That was incredible. And I love all the different themes. Like, you just walk into a different area and it's a totally different garden. And they're huge. And over the back, they're building, three more like huge, a medieval one. I'm going to say it's the best botanical gardens in our country. Big call, Sproul. Big call.

Huge call. I mean, you know, because I'm from Taranaki and Pukakuta Park is beautiful. We've got the bowl of Brooklyn. Oh, it's a shitty dump. Shots fired over shots fired. It's a blight on the landscape. Torched the lot of it. No, we always have the Christmas lights,

and they're always beautiful. Oh, great. Now, what time of the year does that happen? Oh, cool. Hamilton Gardens year round, baby. I know, because I was thinking yesterday, I was like, maybe New Plymouth needs to do, like, a sculpture or, like, take a leaf out of Hamilton's book.

They've got lead light. Hamilton Gardens are made for Instagram. Like absolute Instagram bait. It's just so well done. Like I'm from Wellington. The Wellington Botanical Gardens are amazing. They're a big skid mark on the undies of New Zealand. I'm just going on a hike now.

I've decided I will defend Hamilton Gardens. This is my new thing. Someone's proud of their gardens. Very proud of their on a hike now. I've decided I will defend Hamilton Gardens. This is my new thing. Someone's proud of their gardens. Very proud of their gardens. Really proud. Yeah. Wellington Botanical Gardens is an overgrown heap of ragwort. It's bohemian.

Like the Wellington people. Come and check out our gorse, man. Well, do you remember Christchurch tried to put in that sculpture in their gardens and it started burning seagulls? No, impaling seagulls. Yes, that's right. The infinity stairs. Yeah, and they came to a very fine point

and seagulls are like, I'll just land. Quack. Seagulls don't quack. They do when they're dying. They get very confused. It's like when a human has brain surgery and all of a sudden they can speak German. Yeah, even though they've never...

The seagulls have pale panic nerve reactions. When the seagull goes full German. My German is limited to Hogan's Heroes in World War II movies. Wow. It's enough. It's always yelly. So that's right, We were in Hamilton. Went to the gardens.

Had a lovely day. Went to the helm. Bangers bingo. Yep. Great turnout. Great people. And then we were leaving because we drove back last night. And I had the keys.

I was driving. I had not beverages. No. Because I was driving. Otherwise I would have beverages. So that's why I was like, I'm driving. Sober driver. I'm driving. Good for driver. I'm driving.

Good for you. And that's when we're walking to the car and producer Jared says shotgun. Fletch who's a couple of strides ahead completely ignores it

gets right to the car. I'm at the front door already. He was. He was miles away. We're like two rows away from the car. Yeah I was ages away.

Ages away. Fletch gets to the car opens the door sits in and says you can't call shotgun if someone's already in the car. He just chose to ignore 30 seconds of existence. I also believe I said you can't call shotgun on a senior announcer either.

Oh, you pushed your authority. I absolutely railroaded my authority over Jared. I will say, look, as a tall woman, Jared, step aside. You can't shotgun the front seat as a petite man. No, you can't. You're a petite man, and that's no offence. No, that's fair enough. It was just my mistake having lugged all the gear around the whole trip.

Setting up all the events, driving the events. I must have made sacrifices last night. I didn't drink any delicious beverages. I don't know if I pointed that out. That's the biggest sacrifice. It's a monstrous sacrifice. Yeah, I've got long legs, though. Yeah, no one asked to take a photo with me did they carl oh no he's upset he's upset he's upset all right well it was truth and i owe you a shotgun then

yep yep i'll be claiming it at some point i'll choose i'll choose so because it's not going to be a long time no that's not how someone works. You can't ignore shotgun etiquette and then also ignore bag and like owe you one etiquette. I just said the sheer audacity of producer Jarrod to call shotgun on a senior announcer. I was like, unbelievable. To be fair, he would have worked very hard. He works the hardest.

Absolutely. What do you do? Schmooze around? Yeah, absolutely. Had some gin and tonics, some delicious pizza and that's about it. Bit of malarkey in front of the audience. Yeah, I. Had some gin and tonics, some delicious pizza, and that's about it. Bit of malarkey in front of the audience. Bit of malarkey, yeah. I know. Silly buggers aplenty.

All right, well, I'll owe you a shotgun. Cheers, mate. One only. One only, I'll accept it. Save it up for when you're going to drive from Auckland to the Inter-Islander all the way down to New Plymouth. Bluff.

Bluff. I'm not driving at home. I let the kids call shotgun. I'll sit in the back. I want them to be, you know, like. You want them to, you're teaching them shotgun. Yeah. Yeah.

They need to be, I want them to, you know, when they finally get to the age where they can, you know, drive around with their pals, I want them so shotgun ready. Yeah. You've got two kids though. Me and my brother used to do, how, what's the age gap? Oh, they're like two years apart. Yeah, me and Sam were three years and we just did one-on-one,

like one-to-one. You were last time, I'm this time. Oh, yeah, they all switch. We never got to sit in the front. Neither.

Mum and Dad were like, no, you're in the back. I remember one time I got to sit in the front because I wasn't feeling well and my mum bitched the entire ride.

Yeah. Having fun up there. If you're up front, you've got to control the air so people back here don't get too hot Real busy I don't know if this is going to apply to you Fletch

Because famously You're a nude sleeper How do you know that about me? Somehow in the six or seven weeks I've been here You know that You've brought it up a number of times Every day Daily Every day, daily.

Every day, like morning. God, that was a good nude sleep last night. God, I rolled over at one stage and my penis slapped my thigh. Oh my God, I never said that. Every morning. But a fashion expert, a clothing expert, has chimed in on how often we should wash our pyjamas. And it's got me thinking.

I'm trying to think about my set that's behind the pillow now. Do you sleep in pyjamas? Yeah, I'm a pyjama sleeper. Even in summer? Yep. Wow, okay. What kind of pyjamas? Well, I've actually, over this last summer,

and here's a good chance to share this, I've been experimenting. With? With a nightie. Oh my God. Like Ebenezer Scrooge sort of like long. I don't know why

but I'm using Oh my God. I'm so embarrassed. A nightie. We must not see a picture of you in the nightie but pull up a picture

of the kind of nightie. Oh my God. Okay, mum. Okay, I'll try and find some nighties that look like the one that I want. Oh my god, a nightie. I've got two nighties. I had one and I said to Aaron, I said to my partner Aaron, I'm gonna experiment with nighties.

And he was like, it's over. Greg Roman from Nova says it's over. He was like, good on you, proud of you. Right. Proud of you you He said proud of you God marry that man already That's very supportive of Shana She said to me

I'm trolling 90s I would laugh right in her face It's just like I wonder if I just search 90 90s There you go farmers It's just like a long t-shirt Under which I wear nothing

But is it like satin Or is it cotton It's a stretchy Go on What is it like satin or is it cotton? It's a stretchy... Go on, what is it made of? Have you found it? It's like a stretchy... You've found it. I'm so embarrassed.

You should be. This is horrendous. This is on the farmer's website. Oh, wow. Okay. I'm a little bit scared to look. A whistle sleep short sleeve satin trim nighty vintage pink. It's not as bad.

I was expecting it to be real nice. I don't wear like a satiny or a cottony floral thing. It's just like a long, soft, stretchy T-shirt. Oh, okay. Don't call it a nightie. Just call it a sleeping T-shirt. It's a nightie. Whistle sleep short sleeve satin trim nightie.

Okay, well, winter's coming, and you're going to have the cold breeze blowing up your... Like, what are you going to do in winter? Well, in winter I'd wear pyjama pants. Flannelette. Okay, right. Flannelette? No, I'm not a flannelette girl.

Because I picked you for one. Well, after my 90s. I can't wait for farmers to get in touch on Monday and say, guys, I don't know what you talked about on Friday's show, but sales of 90s have gone through the roof. Mum's just flooded into the store. When I'm not rocking a nightie, I'm rocking like a T-shirt and a pair of shorts,

like little PJ shorts. So nightie or pyjamas, whatever you wear, how often should we be washing those according to the study? Well, they say between every three wears, three to four wears, you should be washing them. Because, think about it, we wear our undies and our socks once and then we wash them, if you know what's good

for us. I was going to say, I'm going to make some assumptions here about the audience. And we wash them because they are immediately up against our bits and pieces. And our smelly feet and our... Our smelly what? Our little bits.

And yes, if we go, that's been immediately against my junk, I'm going to put that up for a little while. But with pyjamas, for some reason, people don't do that. And you don't typically wear undies. Well, you shouldn't, especially if you're a lady. Wear undies underneath your pyjama bottoms. Why not? You can let it breathe.

What? It's a breeding ground for bacteria there. You think you've got that thing all shut up for eight to nine hours a night? Yeah, right. I didn't know. Is this a well-known fact? Yes. Right.

That you shouldn't wear a tight pair of undies. Let the old girl breathe. Right. Absolutely. Yeah. So they're saying that we, you know, we shed, what is it, 300 to 30,000 to 40,000 skin cells per hour. And we're doing that for eight to nine hours in the same outfit.

And then we do that three days in a row. And if you're wearing undies, you have to get up in the morning and shake it all out. But you get up in your nightie and two steps later, it's all just falling out the bottom. It's on the carpet. It's the carpet's problem now. It's for the vacuum cleaner to worry about. They're saying you could extend it to five nights if you shower every single night before bed.

Which I do. So you're a night time showerer? Yeah. Whereas Vaughan... I shower on both ends of the day. Both ends of the day. You wake up in the morning and shower straight away too. I'm a greasy man.

I'm a greasy boy. He's a big greasy boy. It is a breeding ground for bacteria, basically. It's right up against our body. So wash your PJs. Have a look under that pillow and get them out and give them a sniff and be honest with I sleep in second tier undies. So they're the undies that used to be the day wear.

Sometime a little bit. But now I'm worried. I've got to let it breathe. You've got to let your old girl breathe. Somebody said that their father-in-law wears a man nightie. A man nightie. Now is that a large man t-shirt? Or is it a man

nightie? Anything below the knee is unacceptable. I could I'd feel like it was trying to strangle me the whole time if it was covering that much of the body. We need more info. Can we get more info from this person please? About a man Well you're on the farmer's website. Surely you could just go back a couple of search criteria

and change female to male and stay in the nightie parade. We're male nighties. We did nothing stopping you buying a female nightie. You'd have to be probably a slender man. I can't imagine a big build working in that nightie that you've got. Oh, my God, they had man nighties. Oh, my God. See, now that doesn't...

I would wear that as a shirt, like a day shirt. With pants? With pants. Okay. And you could tuck it in, it's got so much length, you could give it a tuck. That's a man nightie from Farmers there. It's a big t-shirt. That looks like a hospital gown.

It does. No, it looks like one of those shirts that dudes wear hunting. Like, you know how bush shirts are like slightly longer than your standard shirt? Yeah. Well, we're not here to shame anyone for your nighties. Well, we're hunting. Like, you know how bush shirts are, like, slightly longer than your standard shirt? Yeah. Well, we're not here to shame anyone. I'll just sleep in my camouflage pink Ridgeline polo fleece, I think. Give it three days, wash your jammies. Flesh, fauna, Megan.

The podcast. ZM. Now, it's been a while since anyone has referred to Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana. Now, for you older people in the studio, Hannah Montana was a Disney... Disney Mickey Mouse? Princess.

She's Mickey Mouse, is she? She Mickey Mouse? In Fantasia. She was a Disney show. A Disney show. That launched Miley Cyrus' career. Right, duck out. You're talking to the oldest Miley fan there is.

I know. Not the oldest Miley fan there is. No way. No, I just mean you've been a long-term Miley fan there is. I know. Not the oldest Miley fan there is. No way. No, I just mean you've been a long-term Miley fan. Oh, yeah. So you're saying you've always been a fan. There's lots of older, creepier dudes than me. I watched a bit of it.

I watched a bit of it, you know, when I was too old to be watching it, but it was a really, really catchy show. I've been a Cyrus fan for previous generations. You'll remember the first ever cassette I ever purchased with my own money was Billy Ray Cyrus' album. Achy Breaky Heart. Achy Breaky Heart. Achy Breaky Heart and a cover of Boots

are Made for Walking. Both of those fantasies. And you'd love Miley's country stuff. I absolutely, her backyard sessions. Give me a Miley Cyrus Jolene any day.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Anyway. She sings with Jolene. So if you don't know, Hannah Montana was a Disney series in which Miley Cyrus played a young girl

called Miley, right? And she was a singer series in which Miley Cyrus played a young girl called Miley, right? And she was a singer and her alter ego was Hannah Montana. And so she lived her life like in disguise, basically. Like Jem. What? Oh, that's for, again, that's even older. Like Jem. Oh, no, no, Jem.

Jem and the Holograms. Jem and the Holograms. Anyway, so it's been 15 years since it first debuted. And to celebrate, Miley Cyrus shared an open letter on her Instagram and her Twitter. It was penned in her own handwriting on Hannah Montana's stationery with little stars and purple tacky beautifulness. And it is basically thanking her for what it did for Miley Cyrus' life. It starts, Hi, Hannah, it's been a while, 15 years to be exact, since the first time I slid those blonde bangs over my forehead in the best attempt to conceal my identity.

Spoiler alert, that's what the show's about. She talks about how she didn't even know at that time that Hannah Montana would live in the hearts of so many people for so long. She was just basically saying goodbye and thanking her, talking about how sad it was at the time to part with her. It was bittersweet to know I would be leaving you, which is where, on stage nine, which is where I grew up, where I said I grew up when I was asked.

It was my home. Breathing life into you for those six years was an honour. I'm indebted not only to you, Hannah, but to any and everyone who believed in me from the beginning. You have all my loyalty and deepest appreciation until the end with all sincerity I say thank you. People were loving this. It was so nice.

It was a two-pager. I'm not going to read the whole thing, but basically just thanking that opportunity. What would you say to your younger self if you could write a letter? That man is a bad man. He's not marriage. What? I'm guessing this is previous to your current partner.

No, what would I say? Go to the gym. Go to the gym a bit more? Yeah, or like ease off with the plucking on the eyebrows. All right, what about those? Those are going to come back one day and then you won't be getting teased. Oh, buddy, buddy, buddy. What would you say? I don't know.

I'd probably say here are the prices of stocks. And these are going to go. This sounds stupid, but invest in it in 2011. Get into big tech companies. Amazon, heard of that? Invest now. Yeah, okay. What would you say?

So I'd just be setting myself up for a future financial gain. I'm going for a more sort of physical approach. Yeah. You're going for the Biff Tanner approach to it. Yeah. Just trying to reap the rewards. I'd tell myself to shut the fuck up. I'd tell myself to shut up.

More, right? Okay. Listen more, shut up. More, right, okay. Listen more, say less. Yeah, something like that. And the hardest thing is starting or some bullshit like that. And then my 18-year-old self would be like, who's this old nerd? The hardest part is starting. Shut up, old man. This guy is such a fun sponge.

He looks a bit like me, but he's got no hair. And, of course, that's never going to happen to me because I've got a thick crown of beautiful brown curly hair. He does have a sweet beard, though. Yeah. And, yeah, I don't know. Just shut up. Right. So we've all gone quite surface level.

I've gone for leave your eyebrows alone. You've gone for shut up, Baldy. But, you know, you often hear of people writing letters to their younger selves and they say things like, you don't need to worry so much. I always find that's a real exercise in vanity, though, when people write a letter to their younger selves because they can't give it to their younger selves to make them a better person in the present.

Oh, no, it's a show. It's a total show. You don't write a letter to your younger self and then not share it. Yeah, and people always, like, fill it with, like, humble brags. Be like, don't worry about being single. You'll find your dream man at 22. And it's still like, okay. Dave's fine.

But he's not amazing. But could we take some calls? What would you say to your younger self in a letter? Yes. And maybe it's not as surface level as our ones. Or maybe it is about your eyebrows. I mean, heck. A wise piece your eyebrows. I mean, heck. A wise piece of advice.

I mean, we all went there with the eyebrows. Who knew that they were going to come back and we didn't know? So, talk about the things that you would say to your younger self. Yes. Miley Cyrus has said thank you to her younger kind of self, Hannah Montana. Yeah. Nicole, what would you say to your younger self? I would have said go to uni, get a degree because the travel industry wasn't always

going to be there for you. Oh my dude. I know, but do you know we weren't to know this was going to happen. I know. You could have gone to uni and got a degree in something that's disappearing as well. You know, like you just never know these things. Or you could be miserable. Can I ask you, Nicole, if you were to say this to your younger self, what would your younger self go to uni and study?

Well, that's the thing. I mean, maybe something in like personal training or something along those lines because everyone's into their fitness and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, to wellness. Well, there's still time.

You can still do it. Absolutely. Never too late. You sound young and sprightly and you just, I'm the freak of this. You guys get up. No, you're doing really well. You're doing so well.

You're a queen. World's your oyster. We don't say the world's your oyster anymore because the world's got a pandemic and you don't want to eat bad oysters. The world is no one's oyster. Also, we're overfishing aren't we? Yeah and oysters have got microplastics.

The world's your broccoli. The world's yours for the picking. Absolutely. I love your guys' enthusiasm. You're over farming Hayley so maybe we're not picking. Maybe a little less picking. Nicole, thank you for sharing.

Anonymous, what would your advice be to your younger self? I would say don't bother going to school because when you turn 18, your aunt will buy you your first lotto ticket and you'll win a ton of money. What? Oh, my gosh. How much did you win?

Four million. Oh, my gosh. Did you give some to your aunt? Yeah, I did, million. Oh, my God. Did you give some to your aunt? Yeah, I did, yeah. Oh, my gosh. So do you not work? Not really. I have, like, business investments,

but the stuff I do is more of a hobby than actual work. I love your life. I mean, don't listen to her. Go to school, for God's sake. Yeah, you're literally talking to the one in a billion. A billion, yeah. Congratulations. I've never met a lot of winners.

Oh, my God, stop kissing. Did you hear how Hayley changed there? We should hang out. Oh, my God, we should be friends. It's not about the money for me. She just sounds like someone I would get on with. Yeah, we'd both get that, babe. Yeah, I bet that happens on with. Yeah, we both get that vibe. Yeah, I bet that happens a lot. Anonymous, thank you for sharing.

Some of the text messages in of what you tell yourself. We should have, like, if you could tell yourself, your younger self, in five words or less. Oh, yeah. Someone wiring on. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. People aren't wiring on, but the best ones are just like... If our listeners

could stop wiring on! We ask you for your opinion, but we don't want... No, that's not at all. I love the longer stories. They paint a better picture. But the reason I say this is because somebody just said I would simply say, gym and eyebrows. Oh, okay. Well, your eyebrows too. That's a bit of me as well.

Someone said I would tell myself, you are definitely not fat. Now, what's going to happen to you in your 30s? Oh my God. That's fat. I know, isn't it? It's amazing how many people say I worried so much in my 20s

and I look back on photos of me now and I think, well, why? I'd love that now. That is hot. I'd love that, yeah. Somebody else said, don't fall in love

with the first girl you're with. Okay. That's fair. That's a little bit of a... You can't stop that. The teen heart. Young love That's fair. A little bit of a... But you can't stop that. The teen heart. Young love. Oh, yeah.

I remember thinking I was going to marry my first boyfriend and we'd talk about it and then you think, oh, it's hormones and you're happily married with children.

Just to somebody else. So he took everything he learned from this conversation with you and applied it to somebody else. Yeah, he did. That's plagiarism. He's a good Christian boy.

Is he? Yeah. Was he a good Christian boy then? Absolutely. That's plagiarism. He's a good Christian boy. Is he? Yeah. Was he a good Christian boy then? Absolutely. That's why he's not with me anymore. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Friday Flashback.

Well, it's Hayley's pick this week for Friday Flashback. I'm excited. I felt a great deal of pressure until I landed on the song and I went, there is no way this can fail. I'm going to come out straight off the bat and say it's by Rihanna. Okay. Rihanna. New news today that it looks,

and she's commenting on these comments that she may have a new song out soon. She's teasing us. She is absolutely teasing us that she's going to have a new song out. Hasn't had a song out for five years, an original song. But this is from a long time ago. 2008 this song was released. It was at the top of all the charts, even outperforming

Umbrella in some of the world charts. Of course, it was praised for its use of a sample from a Michael Jackson song. Okay. Here's your biggest clue. I thought it was Microsoft. I'm pulled from a Michael Jackson song. Okay. Here's your biggest clue. Mama say, mama say, mama makusa.

Mama, mama. Mama say, mama say, mama makusa. I thought it was Microsoft, wasn't it? Wasn't it about computers? Wasn't it about Zoom? It's not mama say, mama say, mama Microsoft. You guys remember Zoom? It's not mama say, mama say. Anyway, this is, of course, one of Rihanna's biggest bangers ever,

Don't Stop the Music. Back when songs were four minutes, 17 seconds long. Oh, yeah, babe. I'm putting my feet up like the old days. Take note. Spotify generation of artists making two-minute-long songs. Rihanna, see them. the music. Please don't stop the music. It's getting late.

I'm making my way over to my favorite place. I gotta get my body moving. Shake the stress away. I wasn't looking for nobody when you looked my way Possible candidate, yeah Who knew that you'd be up in here looking like you do? You make us staying over here impossible

Baby, I'ma say your aura is incredible If you don't have to go, don't Do you know what you started? I just came here to party But now we're rocking on the dance floor And tonight, your hands are on my waist Just let the music play We're hand in hand, chest to chest

And now we're face to face I wanna take you away Let the tape into the music DJ, let it play I just can't refuse it I want to take you away. Thank you. What goes on between us, no one has to know This is a private show Do you know what you started? I just came here to party But now we're rocking on the dance floor Acting naughty Your hands are on my waist

Just let the music play We're hand in hand, chest to chest And now we face the face I wanna take you away Got the tape and to the music DJ let it play Thank you. Let's just tape it to the music DJ let it play I just can't refuse it Like the way you do this Keep on rockin' to it Please don't stop the music

Please don't stop the music Please don't stop the music Please don't stop the music. Please don't stop the music. I want to take you away Let the tape into the music DJ let it play I just can't refuse it

Like the way you do this Keep on talking through it Please don't stop, please don't stop the music I wanna take you away Let the tape into the music DJ let it play I just can't refuse it Like the way you do this Thank you. It's your Friday flashback on ZM. Rihanna, don't stop the music.

You're welcome. Yeah, good song. Feedback from the listening public. Somebody said 100% jam. Yes, Hayley, iconic, but they spelt your name like Hayley Steinfeld. With an I-E, not an E-Y. but they spelt your name like Hayley Steinfeld. With an I-E, not an E-Y. So that may have been indeed for Hayley Steinfeld. It could have been someone else.

I won't take that compliment on board then. Somebody said, absolute banger. This was my ringtone for ages. Now, this would have been in the era of the downloadable ringtone. Yeah, and the phone companies would make like a couple of dollars off you. Yeah. You'd buy it. Yeah, and then they'd chuck a couple onto the musicians and you'd be

a whale off. The Black Eyed Peas made a fortune. That's how Will.i.am bought his beach house. Many people had a phone call in the 2000s. Boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom. Gotta get that boom, boom, boom. Gotta get that pow, pow, pow. Gotta get that boom, boom, Black Eyed Peas.

Will.i.am. Boom, boom, boom. I'm that boom, boom. Black Eyed Peas. That's where I am. Boom, boom, boom. I'm Taboo. Apple the app. Hello. At least speaking. Hey, call me back. I was just getting to the good part of that. Yes, sir.

Black Eyed Peas ringtone. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Boom, boom, boom. So last night, I'll do the segue. Last night we were driving. I was thinking we could riff on Black Eyed Labies ring times for five, ten more minutes. At least, yeah. Because we haven't even touched into their more modern stuff.

Last night, bangers bingo, we finished our doubleheader, Tauranga and Hamilton. And we were driving back up the glorious Huntley Bypass. Sorry, Huntley, but you're yesterday's news. I do miss the Top Twins mural. That was always a treat. I would petition to move that and the Huntley Rugby League Legends mural to the side of the new bypass. Absolutely.

I would pay for that. Absolutely. Lovely amount of art and carvings and everything on that new bypass. You simply must drive if you haven't. Oh, it's truly gorgeous. 110 kilometres. Just to update you as well, the State Highway 1, the Waikato Expressway is still closed southbound,

but there are detours and a lot of fog this morning. It was leaving Hamilton that we tuned in to Newstalk ZB's night program with much respected broadcaster and personal favourite of ours, Marcus P. Lush. Yeah, he's a fantastic broadcaster. Train enthusiast. Wicked sense of humour.

Wild. Wild. He's brilliant. He's reclusive. He loves trains. He's got a He's reclusive. He loves trains. He grows a big wild beard. He's a man I aspire to be like. Yeah, urban legend that he bought his house in Bluff with an FPOS card.

Really? Back in the day when houses were like, I don't know how much houses were in Bluff. Yeah, like. Got one. Yeah, just FPOSed it. That's urban legend. I'm saving. Now, last time you mentioned that we did hear from management that he doesn't like you for

talking about that. Oh, I don't remember that. Don hear from management that he doesn't like you for talking about that. Oh, I don't remember that. Don't you remember that? Well, I absolutely wholeheartedly apologise to Marcus Losh. Who we would not ever mean to offend. And, of course, an integral part of the Invercargill City Council now. He's on the council. Yes, that's right.

He's gone into politics. But he does a night talk back. And it wins awards every year because it is fantastic. It's so eclectic. Now, last night when we were leaving Hamilton, the topic du jour, the topic of the day, was does butter belong on cheese on toast? Yeah, which surprised me because there's a housing crisis.

There's everything like COVID. The sewer's canals blocked. The sewer's canals blocked. The world's falling apart. The world's falling to bits. Climate change. Is that still around? Yep.

But I loved it. I liked it. Oh, I did too. What a change of pace. There was no shortage of callers because when we arrived back in Auckland, one hour and one half hour later, he was still talking about whether or not butter belongs on cheese on toast. This is what entertainment is sometimes though, isn't it?

Just an escape. Yeah. Do you want to turn on, what time are you driving back? Quite late. It was, yeah, like 8.30. 8.30. You don't want to be at the end of your day. You've had a hard day entertaining the masses.

Yeah. Hearing more about COVID. It's quite a juxtaposition from Mike Hosking in the morning where everything's Jacinda's fault. Should there be butter on cheese toasties? I know which one I'd prefer. Mike Hosking likes to come across like an everyday man, but if you put him in a situation where he has to discuss something

as everyday man as a cheese on toast, he'd say, well, you should just pop down to the local farmer's market and I'd pick me up some gluten-free. Rye, sour, gluten-induced bread with collagen. Made with the yeast from an old woman's sock. And then I'd take it home and I have an artisanal dairy-free spread made from

goose tears. It was insane how impassioned people were about this. Should you put butter on a cheese toastie? So not a cheese toastie? No, cheese on toast is a very specific which is not grilled cheese.

It's not a toasted sandwich. And he spent so much of his time explaining every time he talked what a cheese on toast was. Yeah. Which I've never had. Because, you know, toasted sandwiches, where you have the machine, people that don't butter the toast,

that riles me up. Well, you'll stick to the machine. Yeah, why would you do that? You want it seeping in. He shot out some side branches of the topic. You know, what constitutes a Jaffa? What constitutes a toasted sandwich? Is it a cheese toastie?

Is a cheese on toast? Only ever one piece of bread with cheese on top. And, I mean, we had a hoot. We were listening, laughing so hard at one stage, I had tears in my eyes. So where would the butter go? So it would go, because on a toasty you put it on the outside, sometimes on the inside.

On the outside, by the way, mayonnaise. Try it. It's amazing. Yeah, the mayonnaise brown's really nice. But as a toasted sandwich. So on a toasty you go bread, butter, cheese. This was the argument. Yeah, see I probably wouldn't bother because the cheese is oily enough

and it would just seep in anyway and it doesn't bother me. You don't get that butter taste. And then there's, do you pre-toast the bread before making the cheese on toast? So it is indeed cheese on toast, not cheese on bread. And then you've got a blonde bum. You know, because if you've got bread and only the top gets toasted, you have a blonde, soft bum. Yes. So the

calls that were coming in were absolutely thick and fast, ferocious. People so passionate on this these are some of our favorites yeah this was now this was rob who called up last night to the talk back segment should butter be on uh cheese cheese on toast rob hello yeah hi marcus it'll have to be quick i um i wasn't gonna have cheese on toast tonight until you blokes started talking about it and i couldn't resist it so i I got my cheese slice, put it on the toast

and put my yeast flakes over the top, which are fabulous yeast flakes, and it all got cooked and now the fire alarm's gone off. So I'll see you later. What? That was it. But you couldn't hear the fire alarm, so I feel like you just didn't want

to dilly-dally and have Marcus question his yeast flakes. So the yeast flakes are a good vegan alternative for like parmesan on pasta, nutritional yeast. You put it on for dairy-free alternative to parmesan. Does it give you a yeast overload? Okay, good. No, you're self-balancing. Okay.

But to put it on top of cheese is sort of defuncts the point because... Is it an emplacer of cheese or is it adding to it because now you're getting vegan cheese as well as cheese? Yeah, because you're getting double cheese. Double cheese. You're getting double cheese. One real cheese, one fake cheese.

Double cheese is never bad. This poor fella, how did he burn his house down with cheese on toast? Well, we don't know the answer to that. I think he over-grilled. Diane, we heard Diane as well. I've got Diane's call into this news talk, talkback discussion. Diane, good evening. Good evening.

Cheese on toast. What we do is my husband's favourite, and he makes it, he toasts his bread, butters it, and he puts spaghetti and cheese on top and tomato, onion, whatever you want, and grills it beautifully. And he's named it Mousetrap. Oh, yeah. No, I think we have heard that, Diane, but that's great.

Thank you. Breaking up. Wait. Oh yeah No I think we have heard that Diane But that's great Thank you Breaking up Wait so She She claims That her husband Invented the mouse trap And she is tickled by it She

Oh she thinks And And But this went on For literally hours It was Of discussion And we thought it was done

Because it went to the news And it came back It's mad Some news is mad And it came back And it was just getting started. We didn't realise we'd only been involved in the warm-up. It was so like, it was wholesome. Good broadcasting.

You were saying there's so much other stuff happening in the world, but God damn it, it was good just to hear some people discussing the basics of a cheese on toast. Yeah, absolutely. It was good. It was wholesome. I want cheese on toast tonight. That's what I reckon cheese sales would have gone up through the roof today.

Cheese on toast, maybe dip it in a bit of soup. Winter's coming. What? Okay, I'm out. This was all going so well, wasn't it? You're passionate. I take it back. I take it back.

Just plain cheese. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day is about ducks And it's about fish eggs And it's about bodies of water Okay Feels like you've got too many topics

It's all interwound Oh my gosh Interwound topic Intertwined Inter. Oh my gosh. Interwound topic. Intertwined. Intertwined. Interwound. Can I take a moment just to Google interwound? I mean, it sounds like, I mean, that's what intertwining is, isn't it? It's interwound.

Interwound. Wound together an adjective. One for you. One for you. For those that can't see, Vod is now ripping us the finger So you're going to have one You're going to have one

And you producers Share that amongst yourselves It's not the common phrase That people would use Yeah No it's not the common Me and my family Were very closely interwound

We were interwound That sounds bad Yeah it sounds like Not good So it's intertwined I feel better. I'm using a word that everybody gets. So today's fact of the day is a fish egg,

a fertilised fish egg can survive the journey through a duck. Oh. So. The ducks don't have acidic. They do, they do. But they can survive the acidic stomach. They've got to digest the things they eat. And ducks, have you ever seen a duck gobble an acorn?

You'd think it to me. I'm scanning back in my memory. Okay. Hang on. Next time you see an acorn tree, collect a small amount of acorns and then hold onto those acorns until you see a duck. And will it gobble an acorn?

Oh, shit, yeah. Ducks love acorns. Do they? Yeah. Through the shell or? They eat the. Do I have to take a nutcracker to the lake and open them up? Top bit.

No, they just. You know how ducks will take. I admire a duck for it. They'll take a big thing in their mouth and they just tilt their head backwards. And just go. And down it goes. Like if you could eat, that's how you'd eat. That's how I'd eat everything.

I'd put a whole creamed donut in my mouth and then just be like, swallow. Just wiggle it down. No hands required. In fact, I would walk into a bakery, I'd have dirty hands. I'd be like, um. A long cream donut, please. And I'd reach for the round one. I'd be like, long one, long one. Yep, yep, that's it.

And then I'd walk up to the counter and I'd go, ah... Let me put my tongue out and be like, put in. And then I'd put the little end in it and, or they'd be like, do you want it in a bag? I'd be like, put it straight in my mouth. And then I'd go, just wiggle it down my throat. Like duck like an acorn okay so ducks love um fish

eggs i love eating fish eggs because fish some fish will like lay the eggs and then they'll be fertilized and they'll sit sort of in the shallower part of the water and eventually hatch and it's the safest part of the pond for little fishlings to be. And then they won't get eaten there. But ducks will just get in there and be like. And eat all the fish eggs. Yeah. However, they can survive the trip through the duck digestive system. And when the duck poos it out. Yeah.

The fish eggs are actually in the poo. Which, you know when birds eat seeds off a tree and then they poop it out. And sometimes that poops just enough fertilizer to get the seed going. To make the tree work. Yeah. To make the tree work, yeah. To make the tree work. The same can be said for ducks, apparently. This is like a little incubation kind of thing. Yeah, right.

And then they can draw nutrients from it and stuff. Isn't nature amazing? Nature just knows what to do. Nature knows. It's like it's all been planned. Yeah. You're pointing up. Mike Hosking planned it, did he?

He's upstairs. Yeah, that's who I was referring to. Right, I thought so Mike Hosking planted a D. He's upstairs. Yeah, that's who I was referring to. Right, I thought so. Hosking bless. Yeah, God wouldn't wear those clothes if he was to come back to Earth. You don't know. God might like a snake boot. Or a Gucci loafer.

A snake boot. And a belt made from a Madagascan palm tree. When you talk about Mike Hosking, you just pick random things, chuck them together and then put it like with whatever he's doing. Yeah. And you know,

like in his Maserati, he's got an air freshener that it's the scent of... Ylang-Ylang. Ylang-Ylang. Oh no, because that's an actual lovely scent.

That's my go-to bioflushing liquid. I know that's your favourite He's got a stainless steel scented air freshener. Yes, from the depths of the Grand Canyon. You just keep picking things and you make a scent. Just random bits and pieces that pop into your mind.

So today's, by the way, they found this out. They cleared this lake because they were going to use it as a control lake. Oh, yeah. And then they noticed ducks in and then all of a sudden there was fish in there. So they cleared all the fish out again and then the ducks flew through on the way through and then there was fish in it again and they're like, hold on. And then they investigated whereabouts the ducks were sitting and then all of a sudden there was fish in there. So they cleared all the fish out again, and then the ducks flew through on the way through, and then there was fish in it again, and they're like, hold on. And then they investigated whereabouts the ducks were sitting and found fish eggs. Oh, wow.

And little clumps, and that's how they were fertilizing, and fish were coming back into the lake. So today's fact of the day is a fertilized fish egg can survive the trek through the duck digestive system. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Vaughan has found a large piece of doweling, like a broomstick handle. No, it's thicker than a broomstick handle. It's grunty.

It's my Donatello bow. I'm a ninja turtle now. Yeah! Oh my god. There's a grown man there. I'm just glad he's not playing that stupid game anymore. Your iPad. Your iPad's not here. I'm out, baby. Merged dragon.

I went cold turkey. Before the break, I said that we'll be talking about cushioning, Merged drag and I went cold turkey. Yeah. Before the break, I said that we'll be talking about cushioning, which actually, Fletch, is not the term for overdressing your bed with cushions, something I am guilty of. I know you've told us that, but I can't see how people spend the time. Euro pillow, euro pillow, pillow, pillow, pillow, pillow, cushion, cushion, central cushion. Yeah.

And then there's actually, there's not even any room to jump on the bed because it's all filled with cushions. Well, don't get into the bed until you're ready to get in bed. I liked the euro pillow for a sit-up and sit-up in bed. It's a weird size, the euro pillow. It's a square pillow. It is square.

I just want massive pillows. I wish they were a bit more rectangular. Anyway, cushioning that I'm talking about is not cushions. It's the term that's being used at the moment to describe when you have a relationship, you've got a little plan B just to the side in case it all goes wrong. Someone on the back burner. Like cushioning the blow of a relationship breakup. Or cushioning, like you fall onto a safety net.

Yeah. Like you fall on the cushion. Yeah. And I feel like this would be a more popular thing because of things like Tinder, where you might be messaging a few people on the go, having a few first dates, and then maybe one's kind of, you know,

you have a few second and third and fourth date, but then you keep a chat going with the other people. Yeah, that's called backup hard driving. Yeah. Right. But see, that's, you can understand that, but then if you're in a long-term relationship and you're cushioning

and you've just got the odd one or two people that you're flirting with and there is a backup, that's pretty bad. So we're using the word cushioning, but I would call that an emotional affair. You know, if you're in a committed relationship over the six-month mark and you are still cushioning,

as in you've got someone on the side just in case. You're still chatting and sharing things. Would you find that worse, emotional chatting, would you find that worse than purely a sexual one-off cheating incident? I don't know. I feel like we've talked about this and I thought that physical would, I would find physical harder

because I wouldn't be able to get the image out of my head. Right. Ugh, why are you making me do that? Yeah, you're at home and you're nighty. Yeah. You're wondering why he's left to go and do another woman. Why is he sleeping with the sexy woman? Is this nighty not enough?

Like scratchy cotton nighty with butter. Is this farmer's nightie not sexy? Is this Red Dot special nightie? I just can't work out why he left me Was it the nightie? No it can't have been the nightie He wouldn't have left this comfort Okay see I don't think there's anybody listening now

That would admit that in their current relationship They are cushioning You could do it anonymously But I still don't think people would Because they're in a current relationship. They're not going to admit to having a backup boyfriend or girlfriend that if it all falls over, they've maintained this friendship. They've got someone in backup.

Also, how stupid is it just to expect someone to wait for your relationship to fall apart? Oh, I know, but I think a lot of people are doing this not like a bit unconsciously. Do you know what I mean? I think that they might not want to admit that that's actually what they're doing by cultivating a little side relationship on the side.

Is there anybody listening? 0800 dials at M9696. That is cushioning now. I doubt we're going to get anyone saying that, but has cushioned in the past. But it doesn't matter. If you ring up and say that you're cushioning and then your partner hears it and dumps you,

that's why you've got a cushion. You're all ready to go. Yeah, we're not trying to put people off calling. No, no, no, no. Call up. It'll be sweet. You've got a cushion. I think maybe people will admit to doing this in the past,

like in an old relationship. Yeah. And maybe they're now with the cushion. Yeah. But does the cushion trust you? Because there might be a European pillow waiting for you. Waiting in the wings. So 0800DARLS.M, give us a call.

9696, are you currently cushioning? Do you have some backup options if your relationship falls apart? Or have you done this in the past? It's called cushioning. And we are hearing from cushions. Indeed. Now, do you have the definition of a cushion again? A dating technique where along with your main piece,

you also have several cushions. Other people you chat to and flirt to as cushion potential to cushion the blow if you break up with your main piece. And then of course there's the option there that one of these cushions could be your new partner. Yeah. And we're hearing from people, this has happened

to them. Like they have been the cushions. Somebody said, and we've caused some arguments, story about debt. My girlfriend and I are on the way to work and she just messaged me saying that's what I'm doing.

I'm cushioning someone with her in our relationship. We've been arguing about this for years now. Thanks a lot. But then, okay, so what's the difference between a cushion

and a friend, a female friend? It's flirtatious. This person, yeah, in this relationship, he might have had this friend for ages and there is nothing more than friendship there. Which some people can't see past. No.

I'm not saying that's the case here. They're threatening and so thus they think they are a cushion. Someone said my best mate's cushioning. He's married with two kids and one on the way. And he's definitely had this cushion on the go for a few years and it's just sitting at that level where he'll do things with the cushion that he wouldn't do with his wife.

Yeah. But as yet not physical. That's a good test if it's a cushion or not. If there could ever be rumors or people that think, well, they could be sleeping with each other. Well, no, no. Not the rumors because if people just see a guy and a girl together, they'll spark that stuff up pretty quick. I want your main piece to read the text messages between you and your seat cushion,

that's a good sign. That's a good measure. Yes, that's a good test. Because if you were just texting a friend, you'd be like, yeah, you can read these messages. Yeah, totally. But if you were cushioning, which is a little bit more flirtatious, a little bit more sort of, you know. Yeah, that's a good measure. We're going to come back next.

We've got some cushions. Some people that have been cushioned and been in the situation where there's been a cushion involved. Talking cushioning, it's having a backup, basically having a backup potential, backup partner.

Backup plan, just in case it all goes wrong with plan A. Maybe they're a flirty friend. You keep them close and then they cushion the blow of a relationship breakup and could be the new partner. A rip-rearing to go.

I have a very – I've read this text. I can't dissect it. Maybe it's a hive mind. We can come a step closer. Is cushioning possible with an imaginary friend? For example, one partner is suspicious even though the other is completely faithful and the one being accused thinks maybe there's a cushion out there. The thing is the cushion is only real

in both parties' minds. What? Is this emotional cheating or just emotional detachment? If you're fantasising... About a cushion. No. You're fantasising about having a backup. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you turn your tap off for desire.

It's like you've ordered but you're still checking out the menu. What's coming out of your tap? No, I just mean, you can't, we just don't suddenly get in a relationship and then never find anyone else attractive or the idea of anyone else tantalising at all. Sounds like an 80s power

ballad. The tap of desire. The tap of desire. Alright, so we want to take your calls. Juanita, you actually, I guess, got cushioned. I was with a guy for four years. We had a daughter together and he had a cushion on the side and a month after we split, they were married.

Whoa! That is some serious overlap. He wasn't cheating on you physically when you were together, but he'd maintained a relationship to the point that when you broke up, he was straight over there. Yep. He was keeping that cushion warm.

Wow. Very warm. Oh, that sucks. And was that hard to handle at the time? No, not really. It wasn't working for a while. Yeah, see you later. Bye.

Yeah, brilliant. Hey, Juanita, thanks for sharing. Sarah, were you the cushion or were you being cushioned? I was the cushion without realising. Oh, okay. So you were the backup plan for someone? Yes. What happened?

This was a long time ago. I started dating a guy and he was always very friendly with a female who was in a relationship, she'd been in a long-standing relationship. And as soon as that relationship broke down, things started to break down in a relationship, she'd been in a long-standing relationship. And as soon as that relationship broke down, things started to break down in our relationship for no explained reason. He started going out on supporting her in her relationship breakup. And then, you know, to the point where, you know, this was back when I was about 18,

followed him one evening to see what he was up to. And he went to the movies with just her. And so I was like, this is not right. And then, lo and behold, within a week, they were an item. Textbook cushion. Wow, that's textbook cushion. He was, like, fighting his time. He obviously had a thing for her and was waiting in the wings.

And, yeah. Wow. Okay, cushion. Sarah, thank you for sharing. Some of the text messages. I was doing unintentional cushioning with my husband's brother, but I caught myself doing it

and I was like, no, and I've stopped it. That's a terrible backup plan, to be honest. Yeah, because I don't get why, and you're the same way people cheat with someone that's just like their boyfriend or girlfriend.

I don't get why people cheat with, genetically you could not, you're already with them. Genetically like their boyfriend or girlfriend. I don't get why people cheat with, genetically you could not, you're already with them. Genetically, you're already with them. Yeah. And then even if you're going to cheat on your partner,

don't do it with someone that even looks like your partner. What if the brother's hotter? Yeah. And then what if he's your one true love? And how does the family take that when you're like,

I want to be. Can I do switchies? And then you've got to see him every Christmas. Hi. I wanted this one, but I want that one. And he'll be like, how did you meet? And he'll be like, oh, dear.

We don't have time for that right now. Yeah. But this is actually quite a common thing. There's so many messages about it. Yeah, mostly people admitting that their partner had one and they only found out about it after the relationship more than people ringing in or texting in and saying, yes. Yeah, I am doing this. I've got an array of safety nets and cushions.

Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hit music, live here. ZM.