ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 26th May 2020

Episode Date: May 25, 2020

Why it's hard to get out of bed  Fletch's Kitty Update  Vaughan has a favourite Gym machine  Totes cute couple activitiesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. All thanks to McCafe. Get a delicious barista-made coffee from Macca's drive-thru today. ZM. Hit music. Live the air. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

Good morning. Tuesday. The 26th. Tuesday. Of May. Um, I don't have my headphones on. A long weekend to look forward to, though, this weekend. If you find Tuesday hard to get up.

Yeah. And Christmas next week. Is it? I think. It feels like it should be. Yeah. It's not, though. It's not.

Damn. Megan's got the hiccups. How do you even get the hiccups this early? Did you have some hot sauce or something? No. Oh, they're really, those real. You know, those really painful. Yeah, they're real deep.

All up in your braille ones. Ow. Yeah. Good stuff. Ah. Ah. No. No.

Oh, well. That's a terrible fright from us. Yeah, it wasn't. Didn't have a lot of. This is great. We should just listen to from us. Yeah, it wasn't. Didn't have a lot of. This is great. We should just listen to you have the hiccups. Oh. Is this the trick?

Pressure. No. So good. Top six coming up. Vaughn? Yeah. Yesterday, the current CEO of Stuff bought Stuff for $1. Did she buy it for $1?

Yes, she did. I would have paid $10. Why didn't they ask me? But then you had to run it. Here's the trick. You paid $10. Yeah. Then they're like,

we need rent. Right. And here's everybody who works here needs to be paid. Yeah. Oh, shit. This has got real quack.

She's bought a lot of admin for a dollar. You know, her life admin is through be paid. Yeah. Oh, shit. This has got real whack. She's bought a lot of admin for a dollar. You know, her life admin is through the roof. Yeah. Hence why it was a dollar. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, right.

Punishes. So the top six things I'd do with stuff if I put it for a dollar. All right. It's coming up with the top six. Yeah. Next on the show, we're going to start off with chocolate. Yes. Chocolate first on the agenda this morning.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. We were in level four for Easter, right? Yes. We were in lockdown. Yep. This was something that me and my husband were really concerned about. What would happen to all the Easter eggs? Yes. Because everyone Easter eggs. Yes.

Because everyone stocks up. Yeah. And then everyone goes crazy and buys the Easter eggs. I mean, you still go to the supermarket. Yeah. But that doesn't mean that all the stores that had them weren't open, like the warehouse came out. Came out.

Yeah. I was wondering what they were going to do with all their stock because I saw a news story that said they get ready and they buy all their stock in advance. Still battling with the hiccups. But the warehouse is selling all their Easter chocolate now. They're selling it for one cent. So I saw people going crazy about this yesterday.

I'd be surprised if there is a single Easter chocolate item left in any warehouse anywhere in the country now. What about the ones where the kids have poked the holes through them with their fingers? Why are they selling it for one cent though? I'm like, you could at least sell it for five. Is it old? No, it's not really that old. It's not old.

Like anything, even if it was like big buckets of, I saw like a big bucket of M&M's. Yeah. For a cent. For a cent. Like anything Easter is a cent. Wham. Could you buy online or was it just in stores? I'm looking online now.

Yeah, there's, no, there's still some there for one cent. But then like literally you could buy one big thing of Easter eggs for a cent and then pay for postage. Oh yeah. Or could you do, you could do pick up. You do pick up. Yep. True.

What do you call it? Or buy so much that paying for postage makes it worth it. Yeah. There's little caramel cream eggs. Not cream eggs, like a different brand. Right, okay. But they're for one cent, yeah. But it does look like it's been a bit decimated. Do we need this after lockdown?

I know. I mean, I had a lot of chocolate anyway. That's the thing, yeah. Trying to get back into the gym. Yeah, exactly. I don't feel like I went without. Where I would feel like, well, but then can you buy them now and freeze them

for next Easter? No. Don't do that to your kids. Budgeting. Budgeting. 101 there. I don't know how a marshmallow Easter egg stands in a freezer for a whole year. That means you could get 100 Easter eggs for a dollar.

Yeah. Good maths from you. Thank you. You were real proud of that, eh? No, I read it on them. Wow. I just thought it had taken you that long to work it out. No.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A great way to get out and see this country of ours as we are on an international lockdown but domestic tourism opens up again is campervanning. And there's a good deal to get out for campervanning. You can get one if it's three or more days

that you hire it. Yeah. It's $29 a day. That's really good. Because I'll hire cars quite a bit because I don't have a car. Yeah. That's a good daily rate.

Yeah. And that includes when you're sleeping. You don't need to, I mean, you might need a camping site. Yes. Unless you're just going to park in a, like a council car park overnight. They don't like that, do they? They're not huge fans. Can you not just park them anywhere?

Well, no, there's the freedom camping. Oh, no, because they're all self, but then you, so you can, it's not considered freedom camping if they're self-contained. Contained. So they've got a toilet on board. And the toilet's on board, but then someone's, you've got to go poops in the. But I feel like if you've got a camper, you don't do on-board poops. No.

You just stop and go. Just could stink it out. But a campground's not much, is it? And then you get to use the campground facilities as well, like showers and stuff. Yeah, it's not peak. It's not summertime. It'll be a little bit colder than your average campervan weather,

but the new campervans are pretty snug. And there must be a heap of them because the tourists aren't using them. And it's not like they can just get rid of them. I want to go for a cruise down the South Island in one. Yeah. That would be so legit. Yeah. Do you, does it come with like, I've never been in one.

Ever? No. I've been in a caravan, but not a camper van. Okay. When you hire them, does it have its own bedding? Yeah. Yeah. You sleep either in the little Top bit above the driver's thing

Or in the kitchen The table becomes like the bed Okay Yeah You can sleep above the Is that what that little thing Above the little Yeah the driver's cab

Is that a bed? Yeah It depends how many births you get Yeah You get six birth ones That's pretty cool That can fit six people in Wow

And that's generally There's bunks somewhere in there. This is a great idea. Somewhere in there. Yeah. Because I've just seen them and you're just like, oh, those are for tourists. Like, I've just never considered doing that myself. Yeah, I was going to say South Island would be the one for me because I feel like I've

driven around the North Island lots. Now, are they still doing that big camper van quarantine thing at the race course? Don't worry. I'm doing that big camper van quarantine thing at the race course. Because if I'm hiring one for $29 a day, I want a deep clean. If it's been a COVID bloody. You want a thorough jiffing. If it's been a quarantining load of home. You want a shaking vac. You want a jiff.

You want a spray and wipe. Some Febreze on the cushions. I hope so. Yeah. Do they have to wash the cushions and everything between people or nah? Nah, I think they just, I mean, if there's a stain, maybe they do. I don't know. So also they looked at what stopped Kiwis from doing road trips.

And one of the big costs that Kiwis said, oh, I'd do a road trip except for kennels and catteries. So for the first time ever, you're allowed pets on board. What? But you have to pay a $100 cleaning fee. I'd do that. But you could have it for three weeks, and the $100 cleaning fee's still $100. Oh, my God, that's so cool. And you can take bike racks on it, too.

I could take Major Fluffington around the country. Nah, cats don't travel well. Cats don't like that. Oh, my gosh. There's always, like, a really rare cat that likes it, but most cats don't. Leo would dig that. Yeah. He loves going for a drive.

Insurance? Yep. So you're thinking that's usually... Yeah, right. So that's usually $49 a day. That's $10 a day now. So it'll be $29 and $10. Yep.

So that's not bad. $39. And then if you... But you know when you rent a car, there's always a heap of charges. Yeah. So that's not bad. $39. And then, but you know when you rent a car, there's always a heap of charges. Yeah, yeah. That's how they get you. Yeah. And then I always

go for the cheaper option, but then they're never based at the airport, so someone's got to pick you up and drive you God knows where to get the car. And every time I say to Sade,

next time, remind me just to pay the extra $30 so we don't have to go through this bullshit. And then, next time, I'm always like, no, go for the cheaper one. Smithy loves a deal. Every time.

So also, they've got a whole bunch of discounts for associated tourist attractions when you hire it. Oh, that's cool. Question, how long is this deal for? I did have that written down. Because, you know, we're all trying to organise our next holiday. You'd think over

summer. I mean, it's not, tourists aren't going to be coming anytime soon, are they? The offer represents a 35-40% discount on the usual winter campervan rates and a 65-75% decrease on September school holiday to October end rates. Wow. So over school holidays it'll be a bit more.

But it'll still be way cheaper than it usually is over school holidays. Yeah, right. And again, you're not having to pay for like motels, hotels. Yeah. So pretty good deal. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. From the ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there.

Yesterday it was announced that Stuff CEO Sinead Boucher. Boucher. Boucher. Boucher. Boucher. Boucher is significantly more poor. It is. Missed the trick though because everyone knows it's Boucher.

Bought the company for a dollar and promises a great new era of journalism. Well, I'm no expert. Yeah. But here's my top six things I'd do with stuff if I bought it for a dollar. Okay. Number six. Vaughan Smith CEO. I am CEO of my own.

Of your own company. Two companies. Yeah, I would be surprised if your wife rolls you in a takeover coup. Oh, let's see her do that when I'm also four members of the board. The top six things I'd do with stuff if I bought it for a dollar. Number six, sell it for $10 the next day and then brag to everybody about the time I increased the business's value 900% in one day. That'd look so good on LinkedIn.

I know. Yeah. Don't go into actual figures. Yeah. Like, they probably think you bought it for a mil, one. Yeah. You just forgot to write million. Yeah.

And then you sold it for 10 million, but no, you didn't. But don't worry about it because it's still 900% in one day. That's what makes you an incredible CEO. Yep. Yep. Yep. A flipper. Yeah. It's like people who are incredible CEO. Yep. Yep. Yep. A flipper. Yeah.

It's like people who are flipping houses. I'm flipping companies, baby. Like pancakes. Get in line and drizzle it in maple syrup. Number five on the list

of the, I say inspirational stuff like that too. I was just thinking how painful a meeting with you as boss would be. It'd be great. Full of weird quotes

and tangents. But I'd be the only one that was allowed to talk. And then you'd get sidetracked in the board meeting by a YouTube video. They'd always be catering. Yeah, they would.

Yeah, well, like in the board meeting today, I'd pull up that video Megan sent me of a man that built an obstacle course for squirrels. That's good stuff. That's good stuff.

That's your 20-minute meeting right there. Yeah. You're taking up with that video. Yep. Number five on the list of the top six things I'd do with stuff if I bought it for a dollar. Stop running those weird ads down the bottom of the page.

Ones that say things like, you'll never guess, we're the cast of Party of Five Are Now. What are those? And these are some actual other ones. Yeah. If you have a sweating problem, you should try this. Trendingscanner.com. Photos. The family that Michael Jordan never spoke about. And

photos at age 89. This is where Clint Eastwood lives his humble life. Okay, wow. I listen to a podcast where they kind of delved into those weird ads. This guy had his wife died a few days after giving birth.

Yeah. And he wrote a blog about it just to keep, because he said everybody was too scared to ask him, but everybody wanted to know. So he started a blog just for his family. Yeah. And then it got out. And so he became one of those things like,

guy has child, wife dies. What's his story now? Yeah, right. And they would always link to his blog. And there's just, there's this company in New York and all they do is troll the internet for those sort of like super click-baity stories.

So that they can tag their advertising onto it. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Yeah, and they make heaps of money. Wow. Heaps of money. And does he get any?

Nope. Wow. Nope, because he put it out there and he didn't. Yeah, right. Yeah. And they never asked for his permission either. That's crazy.

Yeah, it's crazy that these massive companies do it. Number four on the list of the top six things I'd do with stuff if I bought it for a dollar, I'd turn off the goddamn autoplay on the videos on their site. Open a tab, forget you've got it open. All of a sudden it's blaring the pre-roll ad. Hey, turn that off panic trying to find it

can't get it autoplay autoplay yeah number three on the list of the top six things I'd do with stuff if I bought it for a dollar

I'd make the crosswords easier yeah you've done a cryptic crossword very hard very yeah doesn't make sense yeah

there's a technique to it but I can't be bothered learning I just want the one Where there's a blurry picture Of a celebrity in the middle Yeah And if I answer The very simple questions

Then And the squares That are coloured in yellow I rejumble those letters I work out who it is In the picture But I already knew Who it was in the picture

Yeah You could tell it was Jennifer Anderson From the day From word go So easy So you want trashy crosswords is what you're saying.

Okay, great. Number two on the list of the top six things I'd do with stuff if I bought it for a dollar, I'd write the stuff quiz. But not tell anyone I was doing,

writing it. And then I'd get 15 out of 15 every day and everyone would think I was really clever. Yeah. That's what I'd do. That's the kind of

affirmation you need. Yeah. Oh my God, Vaughan again. I'd be was really clever. Yeah. That's what I do. That's the kind of affirmation you need. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, Vaughan, again. I'd be like, yeah. You should see me watching the chase, just yelling out the answers. And number one on the list of the top six things I'd do with stuff

if I bought it for a dollar, turn off the comments. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't let anybody that reads any of that comment on anything. Ever. Yeah. Ever. Yeah. Ever.

That's today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We know that the demand for online shopping was massive during lockdown. And this is really interesting as to why we like online shopping in general. Okay. I have a little bit of a problem. Just a smidge. Like.

Who has more of a problem, you or executive intern? I think we take it in turns. Look at her shock. Like I've just called her an addict. I think she's been really good lately. Have you bought much lately? Have you guys seen this new jumper? Apart from that though, they've been real good.

We did actual physical and brick and mortar shopping together. Yeah. Brick and mortar shopping. Is that what you call it when you go into a store? Yeah, is that what you call it? Brick and mortar shopping. Like actual into the store shopping. They had a changing room and everything.

Wow. You could try it on and then buy it if it fit. And so you didn't have to send it back. Wow, that's revolutionary. But during level four, I didn't do much shopping at all. And I've noticed when I'm on holiday,

I don't do any online shopping. And now that we're back at work full time, but now that the cafe's opened, the floodgates of the online shopping has opened. And I can't explain it. But there's been a study done into why we do love splurging on online shopping. Right.

And it is due to stress. So it can relieve stress. It can provide entertainment and it offers a bit of like pain relief. So a really interesting study was done in 2013. They compared people living close to the Gaza-Israel border during intense conflict and then another Israeli town that wasn't under any duress. So they were quite chill. And the researchers found that the people in the high stress environment

had a higher degree of materialism and loved to shop to relieve stress. Right, so it's stress relief. Yeah. Why weren't you buying over lockdown? Or were you just not stressed? Because, no, the cafe was shut and we had two weeks holiday during that time as well. So you were less stressed. So I was just super chill, yeah. Yeah, right. Because you had less on your during that time as well. So you were less stressed.

So I was just super chill, yeah. Yeah, right. Because you had less on your plate than usual. Yeah. And so obviously when you're chilling out, you don't feel the need to, because it is like getting a parcel in the mail that you bought yourself.

It's like getting a present. Yeah, right. A bit of excitement during the stressful times. Double gratification. It's finding it and actually purchasing it, putting the card in my mail, yeah, it's mine. Yeah, right. A bit of excitement during the stressful times. Double gratification. It's finding it and actually purchasing it, putting the card in and being like, yeah, it's mine. Yeah. And then when it finally comes in the mail,

it's like a present for you. And sometimes there's so many things coming, I'm not sure it comes and I'm like, what is this again? So it's like a surprise for you. Yeah. It's not, yeah. I've got a real problem. But I've even bought like a little foot hair trimmer for Leo. Yeah. It's not, yeah. I've got a real problem. Yeah, right. But I've even bought like a little foot hair trimmer

for Leo. Like it's not even just things for me. I buy the random stuff that I see on Instagram and I'm just like yeah, influenced. Need it. It's like a little foot trimmer and it doesn't make a sound so they don't get scared because he gets hair between his feet. So I'm like yes, I need it. And then I

hurt a scissor. Try putting scissors near your dog's feet. Yeah. They don't like it. You put your dog in an armbar wrestling move. Like you put your legs over the shoulders and you pull the paw out and then you just... Yeah.

You should try trimming a goat's hoof. Now that's a challenge. Okay. But they like a pity, you know, many pity. Yeah, right. Yeah. Well, if you get stressed, maybe there's like a goat foot. Footspa?

Yeah. I'm sure you can find that online. One of those footspas that everyone was buying in the 90s, in the early 2000s, to relax and sit while they're watching Shortland Street. Your people have a foot scrub. Yeah, but for goats, totally. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. I don't know what your parents would have been like

If they'd been stuck with homeschooling duties I can't remember a period of time as a kid Where we had to be at home when it wasn't school holidays Yeah, like my parents weren't homeschool people Like a lot of parents had to adapt and learn how to do it With the help of teachers and everything using the internet Over the recent quarantine period. But I don't know how my parents would have handled it.

I imagine there would have been lots of yelling. Yes. Yeah. Few hidings. Yeah. Probably just ended up doing chores around the house. Yeah, we would have been given a list of chores. Yeah.

So apparently a mum in England, it was due to the quarantine and homeschooling and everything that she decided to do this, but she realised how much screen time her kids were having and what their daughter had to learn a bit about World War II. Right. And what World War II was like. They're in Southampton in the UK and they had to learn what World War II was like. So she banned technology and for four days they lived like it was 1945. Jesus. Yeah, they lived like it was 1945. Jesus.

Yeah, they had to get up early. They had to do like gardening, woodwork. They did schooling, but it was schooling. Right. What was learnt then from textbooks that she could find online, copies of textbooks. Oh, wow. Did they have to eat rations?

There was rations. They had a ration book. Oh, my God. So they had to fill it out with their name and their age and everything and then they had to get rations? There was rations. They had a ration book. Oh, my God. So they had to fill it out with their name and their age and everything, and then they had to get rations. Yep. Not rations, the delicious orange chip rations. Did they have to turn the lights off at night

so the Luftwaffe couldn't find their house to bomb it? Yep. They did everything. Gardening, woodworking. When they told their son that they were going without TV, tablets and mobile phones, he cried for a solid 15 to 20 minutes, the mum reckoned. But then on the last night, in the lead up to VE Day,

they, in the middle of the night, had an air raid. Quickly up, up. William, quickly. We have to get up. Air raid. Quickly, up, up. William, quickly. We have to get out. Air raid, under the table, quick. Quick, under the table. Come here. What is it?

Air raid. Come on, maybe our last night. Come on, quick, quick, under the table. What is it? Oh, my God. I don't know whether that's good or whether that's scarring. Well, I mean, no bombs fell. Wow.

And they went back to life as usual afterwards. But, like, yeah, the young fella's young. Yeah. He's like four or five years old. Well, he probably thought he was about to be bombed. Good Lord. Well, that was the idea of that horrific loud siren, and they had to hide while it happened.

Was she just walking around with a speaker? Yeah. He said, apparently the dad said, Alexa. You have to whisper it because if you say it loud, it'll set off everybody's things. Play Air Raid Siren. And it did. And then it was like volume 10 and it went right up.

Oh, my God. Yeah, and it played the Air Raid Siren. But those kids were pretty stoked at the end of it all to get their iPads back and their bikes and that sort of thing. It's getting colder and it's getting harder to get up in the morning. Yes. And you'd think that it's just because you want to stay in bed and snuggle down because it's cold. It's more than that. Humans are similar to fruit flies.

Really? We buzz around bananas. I hope no one claps their hands around me and squashes me. Oh my god, now you've personified that. How awful. What an awful way to go. When you just suddenly... Oh look, it's sudden.

There's way worse way to go. I'd be all for that being an option for euthanasia. Someone just clapped their hands around. You just step into this giant machine and these like three ton hands just go. Oh my God. And then they scrape you off. That sounds so messy. Spatula.

That sounds so messy. So scientists here have found that we're similar to fruit flies. Our brains have a thermostat that keeps them and us asleep when it's cold. Is this why you don't get fruit flies in summer? And in summer? In winter, rather. Yeah, because they're asleep. Literally, because they're like, oh, it's cold outside. They have thermostats and the thermostats are just like, it's cold, so stay asleep.

I like how you're just mimicking in studio that their thermostats are antennas. No, I've read that the receptors are in their antennae. Right. That's where their thermostat is. That's plural for antenna, by the way. Thank you. Thank you for that. Are you showing off your plural knowledge?

I'm just reading it. Oh, right, okay. So, yeah, when the temperature drops below 25 degrees by their standards, they're like, what, no, sleeping. And we apparently have the same thing. Below 25 degrees? Ours is obviously a different threshold.

That lazy shit's the one that is. But also that helps explain why in summer we find it hard to go to sleep because the temperature antenna in our brain is like, it's warm, you should be awake. You should be doing things. Yeah. We have a temperature gauge in our,

actually it doesn't say where ours is, in our nose. Where are we geared for then? Just a really neutral situation. But then the most neutral temperatures in the world are like on the equator, right? That's where it fluctuates the least, the tropical islands. But that's always hot. Yeah, true. So then we wouldn't get as

much sleep and everybody talks about how important sleep is. Well, they say that humans are creatures of comfort. Yeah, we totally are. So we're just kind of like always just wanting it to be the ideal temperature. And then you're like, oh my God, it's too cold. Oh my God, it's too hot. Never satisfied.

We're creatures of comfort, but also we love a whinge. And then we're like, oh, look, a banana. Oh, look, a fruit bowl. Yeah, let's get into that fruit bowl. We are like fruit flies. Except we prefer them when they're not rotten and they like them more rotten. True. Next on the show, we're not rotten and they like them more rotten. Next on the show, we're going to have a chat to Dane.

He is from a new New Zealand website called Shop Kiwi, and it's helping you support local business. Which we need to do it this time. 100%. Flesh, fauna, Megan, the podcast, ZM. Hi, joining us on the phone from a new New Zealand website. That just means that they're new. Yeah. Not that it's new New Zealand website. That just means that they're new. Not that it's new New Zealand. Anyway, Shop Kiwi. Dane, good

morning. Good morning, guys. Thanks for having me. No, no problem. Explain to us what the premise behind Shop Kiwi is. So Shop Kiwi is a website and a campaign for New Zealand owned and operated businesses

who have been affected by COVID-19. So obviously the last couple of months has been particularly hard for these businesses. Cash flows have dried up, foot traffic's dried up, and online traffic has been slow. So we're just trying to get them the visibility that they need at a tough time. You explained something, Dane. It's not only New Zealand-made products, but there's also New Zealand-owned and operated businesses that import products as well, right?

Yeah, that's right. So this whole thing's been spun out of the Buy New Zealand Made campaign, and we saw that there was a bit of a gap in what people were pushing for at the moment. So there's a lot of Facebook groups and things like that for New Zealand made products, but a lot of these businesses that operate in New Zealand actually import their products.

They're still New Zealand-owned and operated businesses, and they still employ Kiwis and things like that. So, yeah yeah we just felt the need to support those ones as well Well that's very true because yeah without them there's a gap left in the market so I'm just looking at the shopkiwi.online

website now there's a whole lot of different categories Oh there's pets I could get Major Fluffington a cat tree, you could get Major Fluffington a cat tree. You could get him something. You can get pretty much anything on there. There's a huge range of products.

And we've got everything from a company that grows and sells hemp in Whanganui through to a company in Nelson that sells tuxedos for dogs and everything. I think you just hooked in, Megan. How do people add their businesses if they're a New Zealand business and they want in? It's extremely easy. So there's a button in the top right of the website or you can scroll down to the bottom of the homepage and just fill in a form.

We will go to your website and grab a picture off your website and generally by the end of the day we'll have it on the website. It's been quite busy lately so we're probably taking up to 48 hours to get it on there. What's in it for you? Entrepreneurs always have an end game

and you seem very entrepreneurial and well it's a good question so you see you're kind of asking about the business model so uh it's it's been spun out of the buy new zealand made campaign um so basically that the companies that have signed up with buy new zealand made uh get a lot better visibility on the site as well. So if you scroll through the website, you'll see that you can search either New Zealand owned and operated businesses or you can search New Zealand made businesses.

And it's got the WE logo on it, the Buy New Zealand Made logo. So those companies just get better visibility. And I guess at the end of this, we might offer a special deal to the other companies to sign up to buy New Zealand Made. Right. Okay, cool. Well, something pretty amazing to do during these times, get out and support our local businesses because they employ our friends and family and people in the community. They do.

So, yeah. Yeah. So I guess SMEs are sort of our lifeblood, you know, of the New Zealand economy. They make up about 97% of all of our businesses and employ 30% of all of the

staff in New Zealand. So, yeah, I think it's a crucial time to help them out. For sure. Alright, well, shopkiwi.online is the website. Dane, thank you so much for joining us. sure. All right. Well, shopkiwi.online is the website. Dane, thank you so much for joining us. Thanks for having me. All right.

721. There's alpacas on there. Actual animals? Yes. Alpacas. Did you know about the alpacas? They're from Alpham. Are they?

In Taranaki. Great. I thought you were saying Nelson funny. Alpham. Alpham. Alpham. Alpham. He think you're saying Nelson funny. Now, Eltham. Eltham. Eltham. He's like Nelson with a list.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's Poli Moli, Moli, Moli, Moli,

Poli Moli, Moli, Moli. Come on! We've delved into dating for our Poli Moli. This is basically

polls we run on our Instagram story and it's, we've had a large sample size. It's a reliable... Oh, yeah. Like 16, 17,000 votes for each poll. So that's...

I mean, I'm no statistics major. That's good. That's good. Good number at base or something. Sample size. Sample size. Yeah, margin of error. That's how statistics people talk too.

They're very brah. Bra's how statistics people talk too. They be like, bruh, bruh, bruh, girl. Like there's a lot of gym chat slash statistics bros crossover chat. Yeah. Will you spot me a decent sample size, bruh? Like that sort of thing. Yeah, I bet. So a number of questions with regards to dating. First one was, how long should you wait before texting your date?

24 hours was the consensus on the Wee Slidy scale. Hmm. You definitely don't text them right afterwards. Unless they text you. Like they leave your house and you're just like, that was real nice. I would. 100%. Why wait?

That's cute. I'm just trying to think if how it takes you straight back. You do a callback. You reference something. Yeah, right. Like, oh. Some dumb joke you made. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Couldn't help but notice you really ate that dessert quick. Hungry little Falarawa or something like that. Perfect. That sounds, yeah. It's been a while. It's been a while. Now that you referenced something that happened That sounds, yeah. It's been a while. It's been a while. Now that you referenced something that happened.

Yeah, right. Or like, or if they ask you a question during a date, be like, oh, I'll have to ponder that. And then when you leave, you can send them the answer.

Right. And then it sparks it. If they're into you, they're not going to care that you text straight away, are they? Why wait? You've been married

to a hottie for 10 years, so. Why wait? Something, you must be doing something right. Have you walked out in the middle of a date? straight away, are they? Why wait? You've been married to a hottie for 10 years, so... Why wait? Something... Get in there. You must be doing something right. Yep. Have you walked out

in the middle of a date? In the middle of a date? Nah. A movie, yeah. 89% said no. They haven't. So that still means that 11% of people

have been like, I'm just leaving. See ya. And how do you just leave? Like, just say, I'm going to the toilet? Get your friend to call you, yeah. Yeah.

Right. That would be the emergency call. Wow. Next question was, do you think the man should pay on a first date? What if it's lesbians? You raise a great point. Why, yeah, I don't know. What is the lesbian deal?

Because which man? They're both men. They're both men. Well, then the man would, men would pay. Half. Right. Okay. But you're right.

What about, okay, go, Megan. I think if anyone wants to pay for the whole thing, they can. But I don't think you should expect the man to pay for a date, the first date, for any date. But 67% said no. That means 33% said yes. That's a third. It's quite a lot. Yeah, it is quite a lot.

I would just generally be like, do you want to split it? Like, first date? No, because you had an entree and then spent the drink. Okay, well we'll just pay for what? This relationship's not going to work. Let me pay for what I actually got, and I'll never see you again. Good.

That's fair. The best thing to come out of this is I got entrees. Sure, I had to pay for them, but I'm also never going to have to see you again. Have you been on a FaceTime date? I guess during lockdown, that's what we were doing. 94% said no, though. 6% had a...

I wonder if we'd ask that question at the start of the year or last year if it would have been even lower. 99%, yeah. Because that would be weird if someone's like trying to have a date on FaceTime.

Yeah. Does someone who work here have a FaceTime date? Did we talk about that on air? We did talk about that on air. Celia, we did. Oh, okay, we can say because she... Oh, but we didn't say her name. Yeah, I think we did. We talked to her on air? We did talk about that on air. Celia, we did, yes. Oh, okay, we can say because she... Oh, but we didn't say her name.

Yeah, I think we did. We talked to her on air. No, but I think we gave her a fake name. Ah. Did we? I don't know. Anyway, definitely wasn't Celia. How did that go, though?

We had a Skype date, a Zoom date. Don't keep repeating it. How did that go? I don't know, actually. We'll have to ask her when she comes in today. Interesting. Follow up. Stop. Stop. I don't know actually we'll have to ask her when she comes in today follow up stop stop

do you generally enjoy going on first dates was the last question in our dating polymoly 70% said not really 30%

are monsters and said it's exciting it's not it's weird it's weird it's awful it's awful and then there's small talk

and you have to figure out if you're actually attracted to them or not, but the conversation's not flowing, but they're kind of hot, so you're like, oh. And then they want to split the bill, but they had an entree and a more expensive drink. Yeah. And so it goes against everything you believe in, but then they're hot, so you're like, well, shall I go with it? Or is this going to be an ongoing thing in our relationship?

There's so many things that go through your head. It's not fun. I haven't been on one in ages. But I always quite liked them, but I wouldn't like them now. Because you don't like going out. No. I used to like...

You're very picky. I feel like they would do one thing and you'd just be like, nah. Yeah. I broke up with a girl once because she agreed with me too much. Where's the challenge?

There must have been something I said that you do not agree with. Come on. She's like, no, you're perfect, Paul. She's like, no, I can't think of anything. I was like, I'm done. She's like, okay. No, yeah, that's good call too. And I'm like. I can't even remember how this came up.

We were talking about Mountie at the social media desks knew our hobby with her boyfriend. We've got a great beanie with a big fluffy ball on it. Thank you. Yeah, I thought I'd break it out for the winter. Yesterday Anna wore her beanie with a pom-pom, but not today. Nah, we've got a text coordination going on. I'm going Anna wore her beanie with a pom-pom, but not today. Nah. We've got a text coordination going on.

You're like, I'm going to wear the beanie with the pom-pom today. So there's room for one beanie only. Yeah. Right, okay, good. Well, no, I've got a beanie on, but I don't have a pom-pom. You should get one with a pom-pom. Nah. That would be cute.

Nah. Warren's not a pom-pom person. Not a pom-pom guy. And you're not a pom-pom person. I'm past the pom-pom age. I can't wear a pom-pom. Who says? There's a pom-pom age. I'm past the pom-pom age. I can't wear a pom-pom. Who says? There's a pom-pom age.

I've got a pom-pom beanie. There's no age for pom-poms. Oh, I look super cute in my pom-pom. You do look cute in your pom-pom beanie. Thank you. You look like you've escaped from somewhere. No, remember that time I had the photo with the huskies in my pom-pom beanie? Super cute.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. That person was super cute. No, that was in the snow. Yeah, super cute. Oh my God, yeah. Yeah. That person's super cute. So that was in the snow. Yeah, super cute. No, that was in the snow. That's different.

You're allowed to wear a pom-pom beanie in the snow. Yes, you can wear a pom-pom beanie in an urban setting. Why do you say these weird rules for yourself? You can't wear a pom-pom beanie

in an urban setting if you're a man. On your deathbed, you're going to be like, I should have worn a pom-pom more often. I will certainly not. You will. Mark my words.

No, on my deathbed I'll be like, I wish I'd worn a beanie with a pom-pom. And she'll slip on me and I'll be like, now I die happy. Rosebud!

I can pull off a beanie with a pom-pom in an urban setting. Oh, I'm going to wear mine tomorrow and show you. Just because he said no. It won't work. But when you get real old, you can go back to wearing a pom-pom in an urban setting. Oh, I'm going to wear mine tomorrow and show you. Just because he said no. It won't work. But when you get real old, you can go back to wearing a pom-pom.

But you can't. It's like nappies. Young and old. You set these rules for yourself. Yeah, pom-pom. Anyway. Back to bounty with a pom-pom beanie. By the way, are you wearing a beanie with a pom-pom?

Which is absolutely fine in an urban setting. Have you got a new hobby with your boyfriend? I know you've got a new hobby with your boyfriend. Mountie, what's your new hobby with your boyfriend? So every night we get into bed. Every night? I didn't know this was a bed-based activity. Yeah, absolutely.

I assumed a kitchen table activity. No, no. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no. Got to get comfy. Yeah. So basically every night we get into bed and it's become kind of a routine over lockdown that we'll snuggle up and we'll do a Sudoku together.

That's so cute. How old are you and your boyfriend? He is 31 and I am 24. That's so cute. Cute. You're not in your 70s. That's a 70s.

I just thought it was better than scrolling through TikTok for hours and hours. 100% activating the brain. Where do you get your Sudokus from?

Have you got a book? Yes. So over Christmas my goal for 2020 was to read 20 books. So I grabbed a stack of books and within that stack of books there was just like an old Sudoku book that I had gotten years

ago. Does that count? I think you're going to have to buy one more book. No, I'm up to two and it's nearly halfway through the year. So that was a bit of an accident. The first half of this year has been written off by the way. So don't worry about that. Yeah.

I don't think it counts. Yeah, right. So how many do you do? Do you set yourself just one night? There's no limitation. See how you feel. Yeah, we just do one, and by then I'm sleepy because using my brain just really gets me.

That's actually a really good idea. You're not using a blue light. I've never done a Sudoku. Can you stop halfway through? I guess you could And you can pick back up where you left off But it's not very satisfying Because you're on a flow You do get into the flow

And once you get one number It's like, oh, that opened up another one I did one on a plane once Somebody was doing the crossword And they finished on the paper I said, do you mind if I do the Sudoku? And they said yeah absolutely and passed it to me

and I just put in numbers really quickly randomly and I was like oh yeah done and they were just looking at me like holy shit

Rayman's on the plane but I wasn't I just put random numbers anywhere was that not correct no god no god no I don't even know

I'm pretty sure one of my numbers was like an exclamation mark it was just chucking in chucking in everything yeah we'd like to know

this morning on oh $800.00 you can text 9696 what's your cute little Mark Chucking in Chucking in everything Yeah We'd like to know This morning On Oh800dolls.com You can text 9696 What's your cute little Couple activity Your cute little hobby

That you do I bet you do it Because you're not doing Sudokus without Nick are you No It started Just with me

Yeah And he Kind of Wanted in on the action He mansplained how numbers work. I actually taught him and now he's better at it than I am. The student

has become the master. You had a Sudoku race. Things heating up in the bedroom there. It didn't do well. I'm a sore loser. He absolutely smashed me. A man should never finish first. Sudoku I don't know how to react to that

Okay so we want to know Now 0800-9666 Your couple activities Those cute little things you do Megan I feel you and Mr Toyboy No see I was just thinking You call it cute when Mountie tells you a story like that If I'd rocked in with a Sudoku and Ben story

You guys would have been like No try us. No, try us. No, I don't want to tell you. No. Give us one little cute activity. I don't have any. Do I have any?

It doesn't have to be cute. It's just a hobby that you do together. Just, yes. Something that you do together. Nothing. You do your baking channel? Oh, we do our baking channel. Oh, we're like.

No, I like that. So that you don't know that's coming to work tomorrow. There's workout exercises that you do together. Like, you hold each other and then you do sit-ups and then go down. Don't make that face. You asked. No, I'm trying to understand. You put your feet together and you hold hands and you do sit-ups and stuff.

Oh, so when he goes back, you come up. Yeah. Oh, okay. Like a seesaw. Yeah, that's something fun. Do you do sit-ups and stuff. Oh, so when he goes back, you come up. Yeah. Oh, okay. Like a seesaw. Yeah, that's something fun. Do you do airplane rides? Or like you do planks and you do high fives. Makes it more fun.

Oh my God. Jesus Christ. I wonder if your F45 bloody heart rate monitor screen grab popped up on your Instagram feed. Cool, your heart beats. For 45 minutes. Fantastic. You're beats. For 45 minutes. Fantastic. You're alive.

Well done. Reports in as well this morning that Tinder is down. Are people going on Tinder? I guess when you wake up first thing in the morning. Yeah. Instagram, Facebook, Tinder. Tinder. Yeah.

Bumble. Do you bumble in the morning? Yeah. Producer Jared, you're finding this incredibly tough this morning. I'm distraught, guys. Thoughtumble. Do you bumble in the morning? Yeah. Producer Jared, you're finding this incredibly tough this morning. I'm distraught, guys. Thoughts are with you. Thoughts and prayers. In your 400 matches.

446. 446. I lost four after the Ant Chat. Kea Kaha, where were we built? The Ant Chat. Only four? Wow. Talking now about your cute couple activities,

producer Mountie and her boyfriend do a bedtime Sudoku. And no, they're not pensioners. They do a bedtime Sudoku before bed. We have an anonymous caller on the line. Good morning, anonymous. Good morning. Good morning. Right, now, what is your cute couple activity?

I don't know if it's cute, but, yeah, by the way, I'm a solo Sudokuist, so I wouldn't share that with my fiancée at all. Okay, yeah. But basically what we'd do is she would make the bed and she would always leave the duvet cover off and wait for me to get home. Yeah.

Then she would throw the blanket on the bed. Yeah. I would have to grab the duvet, get the corners, and then she's got a little song that I have to do. It's called I Am The Uwe Duwe Man. And I have to do a little dance

like a star jump. And then I put the duvet on the cover. And then go to bed. We need to hear. I'm in the nation. We need to hear the song. The song. I'm the uwe duwe man.

Uwe duwe. That is not happening. Please. Please. We didn't say your name. No one knows it's you. Please. I am the Uwe Duvet Man.

No, keep going, keep going. Is there more? Is there more songs? No, that's it. That's it. Let's write some more lyrics to this. I am the Uberber duvet man. No, uve duve.

The uve duve. Yeah. Okay, uve duve man. Hopefully this all goes to plan. I am going to do just what I can. I'm the uve duve man. And then star jump. Yeah.

I love it. Wow, that's amazing. So cute. Don't be ashamed of that. I love it. That's really cute. You're melting some hearts, I think. Thank you very much.

Anonymous, call it. We want to know what your cute little couple hobbies are after we've learnt that Mountie at the social media desk and her boyfriend are doing Sudokus at bedtime. Now, they're not the only couple. Somebody else says they're doing Sudokus. They were doing them together, but then they bought two of the exact same Sudoku books

and now we race each other on the same Sudoku puzzle. I don't know if races are a good idea because, you know, it ends in arguments. I'd rather do an instant Kiwi in bed, but then you get all the little things in the bed, don't you? The little shavings. And then the end of the instant Kiwi isn't always like, yeah, I finished it. It's, I didn't win.

It's, oh, I've just wasted $3. If somebody else said they go out for brunch once a week and do a $5 scratchy while they're waiting for the food to come. Still no wins. But then who takes, do you just take a turn, a letter H? Maybe. Oh, maybe they do a weak H. You're assuming it's a crossword there?

Yeah, I know. Could be one of the other $5 ones. Could be. I don't know. Everyone just gets a crossword, don't they? They do, yeah. Somebody else said, every night, hold on, who have we got there? No, that's not that person.

Every night, my wife and I snuggle up in bed and go through what we're grateful for and our intentions for the next day. Oh, that's nice. That's cute. It's a little future planning there. What were you going to say? You do that, don't you? You've said you do that, don't you?

Yeah, but it sounds like they've been to couples therapy because that's what they tell you to do, tell you what you're grateful for and what you appreciate about each other. Keep it on the positive. Yeah. It's good. My husband flies large model aeroplanes and jets, and I go along and photograph them.

Now, does he call himself a pilot? Would you be able to say you're a pilot? Maybe a pilot, like a small one. A pilot. But then people are just going to think you're a French pilot. That's fine. That's on them, actually, more than anything. Yeah.

Chris, what's your couple's hobby? Me and the missus, I'm a dairy farmer in the middle of two. Me and the missus go out and we have dinner with the cows occasionally. Like a picnic? Yeah, we usually try to do it about once a week. We'll like make some wraps or make some burgers or something like that.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Rocking into the paddock with a beef burger. Right, you've all been warned. I want record production from all of you. You're going to be next week's sandwich. Pretty much. We had them outside the house once and I was cooking burgers on the barbecue. Oh, no.

That's really rubbing it in, isn't it? But do you just sit there and talk to the cows or, like, how does it go? Oh, yeah, we'll just sit in the middle of them and then they'll kind of come over and have a sniff and we'll give them, like, some of the lettuce. What if they drop a pop? Yeah, well, they do a ploppy.

Well, you usually just make a whoosh and a whizz or something like that and they just run away and then it's fine. Right, okay. We even put the cat out once and the cat was having a good run around the cows. This is rural living. I love it. Brilliant.

Chris, thanks for your call. Adrian, your couple's activity? Me and my wife, we build Lego sets together. Oh, that's cute. You know what they say, couples that build Lego sets together. Stay together. Stay together. Get stuck together and you have to pull them apart with your teeth.

Yeah, we do get to that sometimes. Yeah. Okay, but what if someone makes a crucial mistake and then you have to go back to find out where the mistake was made? It happened a few times, yes, it does. Yeah, right. So has there been arguments or are you quite good at handling it? Yeah, we swap who builds it.

So with her sets, which are, so far she's got a Friends and a Flintstone one, she'll build them. But if it's mine sets, which is generally Star Wars, I build it. Right. And she just sits and watches? No, no, no.

She'll sort all the pieces out for me and I do the building. Right. Assistant. That's so cute. That is so cute. Do you let her put the stickers on sometimes? You like?

Oh, no. I get the bad job of always having to do that, making sure they're all nice and straight and everything. I know, I know. Yeah. Well, I'd like to put the stickers on. Nah, because you might put them on. You'd put them on wonky.

No, I'd be so careful. No, she's the daughter of a sign writer. I think she could trust her. Okay. All right, Adrian, thanks for your call, mate. Some other text messages in. My boyfriend and I play Fortnite together. I've never been a gamer,

but got into it a year and a half after he did. Now we play duos and get wins. That's pretty cool. But then I could also see it being quite a lot of arguments. Even when you're playing with your mates, you get shitty when they don't med you up. And then you get a win together, you'd be like, let's celebrate.

Let's go get a sundae. Or a dessert or something. You'd be just high on life. Oh, yeah. Okay. Celebrate with dessert. Yeah. Cute.

Yeah, well done. Ice cream time. With peaches. Fleshfawn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. I have become a cat dad over the weekend, and I am cat spamming people on Instagram. Apologies.

Not enough, actually. I don't think there's enough. Are you being sarcastic? No, because I only saw like a few stories. No, because I thought that was too much. I thought that was too much. No. You can keep going.

Keep going. You can keep going. People can hide you if they don't want to see it Right Because I just find Like I was late for work This morning He forgot

He forgot his watch He forgot his coffee He gets one slice Of responsibility Outside of work And his life begins To crumble Yeah falls apart

And you were late I was late You were late Well that's because I started playing with the cat And You lost track of time And then I was like Shit I've got to Well, that's because I started playing with the cat. You lost track of time. And then I was like, shit, I've got to get to work.

Because he's super cute. And actually, he just found what mirrors are last night for the first time. So that was just me sitting in the bathroom for like 20 minutes, just watching him play with himself in the mirror. He was fighting himself. It's on my Instagram story, Fleet TNZ. Feel free to pop along. Better than some of the other people that have played with themselves in the mirror at your house.

Yeah, I was just thinking if someone tapped into that story halfway through and didn't get that it was your cat. You watched him play with himself in the mirror for 20 minutes. And if you want to see it, it's on his Instagram story. Hey, Mondays, eh? Whatever gets you through. Excuse me. Guys, this is a serious moment because I've written a heartfelt speech. Look, A4 paper printed out.

What are you doing? What is happening? Well, I've got something that I need to ask you both. Okay. This is lovely music. Megan and Vaughn, I have something to ask you. You've been in my life for 16 years. Jesus.

Could you read it with a little bit more? Like you're just reading it like a six-year-old giving a speech at school. Megan and Vaughn. On the first day of the holidays, I went to my nana's house. Nana is nice. Papa is grumpy. Nana made me biscuits. Day two.

You've got to be supportive. He's trying. He's trying emotion for the first time. You laugh too much. Jesus Christ. We're here. You've been in my life for 16 years. And Megan? No, that's just laughing tears.

But oh my god, let's use that. And Megan, 12 years, and you're two of my bestest friends. As you both know, last weekend I became a cat dad to Major Murray Fluffington. When I googled, I'm

trying to be heartfelt. That's why I'm hiding my face. So you can continue being heartfelt. When I Googled how to write a heartfelt speech, the search results told me that I need to talk about my intentions for Major Fluffington. What is going on? Will Major Fluffington become a doctor, a lawyer, or an environmental scientist? No. Vaughan, please stop interrupting my heartfelt speech. become a doctor, a lawyer, or an environmental scientist? No!

Vaughan, please stop interrupting my heartfelt speech. As long as he's got enough biscuits to eat and fluffy mouse toys to play with, I'll be the proudest dad ever. And I hope that you share my hopes and dreams for Major Murray Fluffington. And that's why I have a question to ask you both. Vaughan.

Vaughan. Vaughan. Vaughan. Yes. Thank you. Please take this seriously. This is a big one. I am. This is a milestone.

This is going to be a Facebook milestone. Vaughan, I hope that with your love of the outdoors, you can teach him how to set up a bivouac, cast a line or build a fence. Megan. Yes. I can't think of anyone more better to show him how to set up a bivouac, cast a line or build a fence. Megan. Yes. I can't think of anyone more better to show him how to put together a bougie outfit. Oh, thank you.

Do the perfect smoky eye or make a boutique donut. Thank you. Now, should anything happen to me, I was wondering if you both might accept the honour of being Major Murray Fluffington's godparents. I'm actually really honoured. Thank you, Megan, for taking this seriously. She's a nutritionist cat! And no one's trusted me

with anything living. Your cat's got, like, long, dandery hair. Your cat is, like, the actual, like, equivalent of those very pollinated trees. I have so many good friends that have children, and I've never been asked to be a godmother. I know.

God, I wonder why. I would absolutely be honoured. Thank you. You will have to get rid of your dog. Born. Yes. You'll also have to get rid of your two dogs if this was to happen soon. Okay.

That's not happening, but okay. Yep. That was really happen soon. Okay. That's not happening, but okay. Yep. That was really sweet. Thank you. Mr. Murray Fluffington would be primarily an outdoors cat at my house. Yeah. Does that mean Vaughan and I have to move in together? Absolutely.

Okay. Because this is all gone. This is all gone. You can have the sleep out. Just to raise Mr. Murray Fluffington. We have to share custody. Yeah, raise Mr. Murray Fluffington. We're to share custody. Yeah, if anything was to happen. Godparents is not a light responsibility.

No. There are so many rodents to catch at our house. He would love that. Murray Fluffington would love that. He would love that. I found a headless mouse at the back door yesterday. He would love that. He would.

He would love that. I think he'd eat the whole mouse rather than just the head So thank you I'm on it Thank you both I'm on it I will Fletch ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan

The podcast Tell us your story Well, I simply said to the group Do you guys have a favourite gym Like a favourite machine at your gym. But I'm not talking like... One that's not beside someone else. The squats machine.

I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the cardio stuff. Do you have a favourite cross trainer? I like having a lucky pokey machine. You know the one by the restaurants, always your lucky one. Yeah, or your pump like $800 into one and then you win $50, so that's of course lucky.

Yeah, exactly. And it happened to have a pyramid on it. So now, of course, Egyptians are your lucky people. Yeah. Of course. Sure. That's how you justify it. I always just go on the treadmill that's got a space between.

Like there's a person there, space, that one. No, the treadmill is a bit. I mean, they've all got spaces at the moment,'s got a space between. Like there's a person there, space, that one. No, the treadmill. I mean, they've all got spaces at the moment, which is great. So I've gone back to the gym this week. And yesterday when I went, they changed it all around. I'm guessing that might be some COVID stuff. Like create a bit more room, et cetera. But there's three cross trainers.

And I remember from my time before COVID that one has a BC BC BC yep

one has a click so you're doing the back and forward with the arms and the legs go round in the elliptical fashion yeah the elliptical trainer yeah and when you get

to the right foot when the right foot got to the bottom of its circle it would go click oh god click so that's no good for me I can't handle that because it clicks because even when I've got The right foot, when the right foot got to the bottom of its circle, it would go click. Oh, God. Click. So that's no good for me.

I can't handle that. Because it clicks. Because even when I've got the headphones on, I can feel the click. You are right. Oh, yeah, that's horrible. And then I can't concentrate on anything else because I'm feeling the click. Yeah. So then there's another one, and it's got a little bit of a grind to it.

Are you working out in a hotel gym? This sounds like the kind of quality you get in a hotel. It's absolutely minimal. Right. Have you ever thought to tell them that there's a click on the cross? I said there's a click on that one. Oh, okay. But I don't know if anybody else notices it.

But so yesterday, because they'd changed it all around, I had to go on all three machines to find which one didn't have the... The click. ...slight click or the slight... Grind. ...grippy grind. It just feels like there's a little bit of sand or dust in the machine. Okay.

But I don't want these two. The other one's the best. Glide. So I had to find that one, which one that was. But then there's also this big thing of the minute you pretty much step on a machine now, when you step off, you've got to give it a big clean. Yeah. So I looked a little bit crazy because I was like, okay, which one is it?

And I had the spray bottle and the wipe, and I got on and I was like, no. Wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe. Next one. No, this is the one with the click. So I knew the last one was for me. Right. So I put all my stuff on and I used that one.

Right. And it's just my favourite machine. Now, the treadmill's the one beside the stair machine. Right. Because that stair machine doesn't get used very often, so it's one less neighbour. Right. You see how riveting this is?

Because Vaughn came in and was like, we should get people to call in and say, which one is their favourite machine? I'm sure I'm not the only one. The one beside my favourite treadmill is the one beside the bike. Yeah, and I would say, why is that? And they would have an interesting reason as to why that was their favourite machine. Would they?

Yeah. Would they really? Yep. Because it might have the best view out the window, for example. There's a machine that I don't like, one of the treadmills. Right in front of it is the frame of the window. So your view is obscured straight ahead. Yeah, by the frame.

By the thick frame and the double glazing situation. Okay, right. I don't want that. You don't go on that one. I'm watching something on my iPad, but at the same time, I do enjoy a glance. Yeah, right. Up and out the window just to see what's happening on the street outside.

Right, okay. Well, definitely don't call us now on 0800. The rowing machine is, my favourite rowing machine is the one beside the wall. Same reason for the treadmill, one least neighbour. Yeah, okay, okay. Well, definitely don't call us now on 0800. The rowing machine is, my favourite rowing machine is the one beside the wall. Same reason for the treadmill, one less neighbour. Yeah, okay, right. And I've got the wall. Okay. Well, none of us have many good stories at the moment.

We've been in lockdown. Funnily enough, no one's texted in to tell us which their favourite machine is. That's okay. That's fine. They're just nodding. I can feel a lot of people are nodding. There's a reason they've got a favourite machine is. That's okay. That's fine. They're just nodding. I can feel a lot of people are nodding. There's a reason they've got a favourite.

Yeah. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Megan, it's time for... Just before we do, I have a favourite treadmill next to the hand towels because I'm lazy and I ain't walking across the room to get one. Yeah, right.

Okay. Yep, me too. Mine's a favourite. Barbell. I prefer the one that's more worn out than the others so the grippy bits don't hurt my little handies. I get super grumpy if someone else takes it. Then I have to go through all the others to test their smoothness.

Feeling that, brother or sister. My very first treadmill. The very first treadmill in the gym has the best view of the man's workout area. High disposition. Right. See it all up there. I have a favorite treadmill at the gym. Two of the three make a slightly louder thud when you land on them.

Oh, okay. Yesterday was my first day back on the treadmill, and because of COVID, there were only two treadmills now, and I went on the one that was spare and it was of course a very thuddy one so I sounded like an elephant running a bit to the girl next to me. I also had to tip my headphones up three notches not to hear myself thudding so I'm on your team Vaughan.

I appreciate all the messages of support because I was ruthlessly mocked for having a favourite treadmill. Alright can we do fact of the day now? Yes. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day, straight from gym chat to donuts. Ooh.

Dunkin' Donuts in South Korea. This is a study of how they advertised in South Korea in 2012. Okay. Dunkin' Donuts were mostly very near bus stops. Yeah. And on the morning commute, Dunkin' Donuts jingles would play on a bus

at the same time that an air freshener would release a coffee type aroma followed by a sweet glaze type aroma. And then the ad would say, I got a coffee for you, honey. Where'd you get this from? It smells delicious. At the Dunkin' Donuts right there. Oh, and then the announcer would say, Dunkin' Donuts is waiting for you at your next stop.

Squirt, squirt. And then some more squirty stuff would come out. Yeah. It increased sales 29%. Whoa. That is some real psychological and sensory. Yeah, sensory warfare. Hacking the senses.

Yeah. It was very expensive. From what I can read. And people weren't too keen on having mystery liquids squirted in their hair. Yeah. They wouldn't fly in a post-COVID world. But maybe that's something you could consider for your cafe, Megan. Squirting people with mystery liquids.

Yeah. You know, my mum's got one for the spraying the roses. It's a big water tank. You put it on your back. Yeah, I've got one of those at Gardena. Yeah, Gardena. Now that's high quality brand. So you fill it up with whatever flavour your donut is.

Right. And then stand on the roundabout and just spray the light mist so that when cars drive past, they go, oh my God, that smells like a donut. But then how do I let them know? Then I just have to yell at them quickly. The sign at the next roundabout says, do you feel like a donut?

Beaufort & Co. Arrow. And you employ people to twirl the sign. So they stop at that motorway off-ramp, not too far from your cafe, at Oteja Valley Road. And they stop there and you go, tap, tap, tap on the window

and they wind down and you just squirt them in the face. You're wearing a gas mask because you can't get addicted to your own donuts. Yeah. That would be, you know, you don't sample your own stuff. Or you don't want to eat the profits. Yeah. And you're like, well, if I didn't call.

That's not terrifying at all. No. Not in the current climate whatsoever. No. And, yeah, then they'll be lured in. Yeah. Or you could tell them it's a COVID disinfectant. Yeah.

But it's flavoured like donuts. It's hand sanitiser. Donut flavoured hand sanitiser. Hand sanitiser donuts. Because hand sanitiser is nasty, isn't it? It's a nasty smell. Smells like vodka. Very strong alcohol.

Very cheap vodka. Yeah. Like a cleaning vodka. Hello, man with cones. What are you doing? Oh, he's come to clean the windows. I was very distracted by the man with the cones. No one usually walks out close to the window of the studio.

And I was like, no cars drive there. It's a pedestrian area. No, he's letting people know that he's going to be above them on an abseiling. What a day to be abseiling. What about lightning? Nah. Minimal chance of light. I'd take off those metal carabiners.

I wouldn't. They'll protect you. I'd take off those metal carabiners. I wouldn't. They'll protect you. I'd switch to plastic in weather like this. Plastic carabiners. I like plastic. Yeah. The ones that hold your keys. Yeah.

That's safety. So today's fact of the day is with a squirt in the air and a subtle reminder, in South Korea, Dunkin' Donuts sold 30% more coffee in donuts. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's only recently that Vaughan's been telling us about his car's issues getting started. Oh, and that's sorted now because I got a new battery. That's good to know.

So I googled what kind of battery I would need and found it, went in, got the exact right model number for the battery, took it home to put it in, and it only just fits. I really had to squeeze it in. And the old battery had like a case over it and like a tray under it and to put it in and it only just fits. I really had to squeeze it in. The old battery had like a case over it and like a tray under it and it held it.

But I had to take all of that out to get the new battery in. Was it definitely the right one? I Googled which one goes in a 2003 Honda Accord. Non-Euro. That's the flash version. It's not our. And it said that battery, and I checked it, and I said, oh, I've got a Honda Accord that, see on the site.

And he's like, yep, you're all good. And I got it home, and I was like, yep. 2003. What? That's this millennium. It's going to be 18 next year. And then I had to, you know the little clamp that goes around the battery? I had to like stretch that open a little bit so I could fit it around and then get a different screw to hold it on.

But she's right as rain, mate. Goes every time now. Starts every time. Yeah, well, it goes. That's not the issue. But we got in your car yesterday and it's something inside the car that we wanted to discuss because your aux cable's got a clip on it. It's got a ball clip on it, yeah,

because the wire's got to be a very specific way to get it to work. Otherwise, it doesn't know that it's plugged in. But am I going to get electrocuted? Nah. Nah, nah, nah, nah. Why don't you get a new crackle, and if the speakers are right up, they might be like. Is it the actual car or is it just the cable?

It's just the cable. Well, why don't you get a new cable? Well, because it didn't come with the car. It was an add-on with the Bluetooth kit. But then the Bluetooth kit got stolen when my car got broken into just out of fame. That place sucks. And so I had to like pull all that jazz out. And then I found that hidden in behind the dashboard.

So I drilled a hole and pulled it through. Oh my God. But now at some stage, probably through the drilling and the pulling, something's happened to a wire there. So it's got to be held in a very specific way. So if you can imagine this ox cord, it's kind of looped over and bunched up and then there's a bulldog clip that clips it. And then if you don't move that, it works perfectly.

And if it does move that, when you put your phone down and you press play, you put your phone in the weird little thing where you usually put like coins and stuff, you jiggle it until it's right and then when it gets right, you just leave it there. And then you can listen to the podcast stuff. Right. And then what if you go around the corner too fast?

Yeah, you have to reach down and give it another jiggle. Oh my God. Your car wouldn't be the only thing that people have little like things they have to do to make it work.

Yeah. Like you have to bump it or you have to squeeze it. It's all character. It's character as a car, isn't it? Yeah. Because didn't you have to do to make it work. Yeah. Like you have to bump it or you have to squeeze it. It's all character. It's character as a car, isn't it? Yeah. Sure.

Because didn't you have to tap it to make the radio work before this? Ages back, you had to bang it and then it would work. You had to bang something. I remember you used to plug the dashboard. Yeah, it was this car. Yeah, no, that's when I pulled out the Bluetooth thing. Yeah. That's when I pulled the cord through.

That was a different issue. Yeah, all right. And there was that time when I used to go around a corner and a car would turn off because the old battery terminal was too small for the clamp, and so when you went around a corner, sometimes it would slip off. How does this get a warrant? Yeah, I don't know.

It's very warrantable. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Talking about those things that you have to wiggle jiggle maybe give a little slam squeeze technical tap to make work

like Vaughan's ox cord which has to be bulldog clipped bunched up and placed in a certain way to make work yep some text messages in

my friend had an orange sorry they had a kettle with the switch broken. It wouldn't stay down, the on-off bit. You know when it gets to the boiling point, it flips itself off? Rubber band. She found a perfectly weighted and sized orange that she would rest on the switch to make it work. That orange lasted for months and months.

Wow. So wait, it would still automatically turn off? No, you'd probably have to come along and remove the orange. Yeah, when it was bubbling out of the spout, you'd be like, jeez, lift the orange off. Scary. I have a dryer that's 30 years old. The door is no longer attached.

So to get it to work, I have to put the door on and shove something against it, like a shovel or something, to hold the door on so it can't fall off and then it would work. I reckon my mum's dryer would be that old. It is horrific. But it hardly gets used. Hardly gets used, yeah. So it'll last forever.

It does. Sam, what do you have to wiggle, jiggle, or place a certain way to make work? My son's favourite sleepy dog that sings a lullaby and lights up. Is it Scout? Is it Scout? You have to, it's not a Scout, it's a Lullabrite. Oh, okay.

It's a Lullabrite and you can't buy them anymore. And he needs it to go to sleep. And you have to hold its paw and smack its butt about 30 times. Kinky. It's really hard, like throw it against the floor. Have you thought about taking it into like someone who can fix it? Very much so. This happened during lockdown and it's high on the priority list.

Wow. Where do you take a toy to get fixed? Some old mate that does electronics, like, you know. It would be an electronics issue. Maybe even a sparky could get it. Yeah, if there's anyone listening that knows where I need to get my Lullabrite fix, that would be great, because I've searched high and far to find a new Lullabrite and you can't get them anymore. Wow.

I reckon you're one of those old mates, like a little electrical repair shop that does like every kind of appliance. Yeah. An appliance repair shop would probably be able to do it. An appliance repair shop, I reckon. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We went in Vaughan's car yesterday and noticed his ox cord. It doesn't really work.

It should be pulled out, but you need to bunch it up and put a bulldog clip over it to make it go. And place it a certain way and give it a jiggle. Hold your face right. I pulled the dashboard out before of that car and I put it back together and I had some screws left over, so that'd be why I'm somewhat reluctant to

do it again. Jules, what do you have to do to make something work? Give it a jiggle. I'm sorry. We have a 2004 Ford Focus. Okay. And the car key on it is so old that it's actually almost worn smooth. So you have to jiggle it because it's so smooth that the actual barrel that you stick it into can't even recognise the key. Wow.

It just sounds like you'd be better just having a screwdriver in there permanently. Yeah, well, it's like a $600 fix. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, no. Yeah, nah. So we're just actually going to upgrade the car. Put that $600 towards the car. And then just hope that whoever you sell the car to just starts it.

Likes a wiggle and a jiggle. Or just leave the car on when you show it to them. Yeah, trade it in and leave the car going and be like, it's a perfect working order. Let's face it. The cost of actually replacing the key will probably be more than what the car's worth. So whatever. Fair enough.

Hey, Jill, thanks for your call. Bex, what do you have to do to make something work? My uncle used to have to have his washing machine on a limb and it was a bit ridiculous and he one day stopped working after doing that for about two, three years and he spent a couple of hours trying to work on it and then called some sparkies in

to have a look at it and turns out my cousin and my brother actually took the motor out of it to build a go-kart without telling him. A go-kart on an extension cord. Yeah, don't know about that. Wow, that is the most

Kiwi, that is the most Kiwi Bogan story I within 20 metres. That is the most Kiwi-Bogan story I've ever heard in my life. The washing machine wasn't working. Turns out they'd taken the motor to build a go-kart. Trucked in the go-kart. And you had to have the go-kart on spin cycle, otherwise it went very slow. It did. And you'd drive the go-kart forward

and then all of a sudden it'd just go back. Yeah. And forward. It's on the agitator. If the go-kart got off balance, it'd go like this. Ka-tong, ka-tong. Be-de-de-de. Be-de-de-de.

Be-de-de-de. Leonie, what do you have to do to make something work? Well, somebody smashed my, well, went into my mirror and pushed it backwards on my car. Oh, no. Yeah, so I'm sitting in the car and I turn it on and the wing moves like, and I'm fiddling with it and trying to pull it and trying to pull it and nothing will work. And I've got to get to my next meeting because I'm a real estate agent.

Yeah. And so I'm driving around town and I have to drive and hold my finger on that little, I don't know, you know what it's called, the little button that makes the windows go in and out. And I have to hold my finger on that because I take it off and it goes, and it's like really loud. Like people look at me.

I had to go around the supermarket looking at me. And then my husband goes, oh, have you fixed the car yet? I said, no, no. I'm, you know, a woman of the 2000s. I'm going to look it up on YouTube. And he goes, and so, yeah, so it's still like that. And I've got to go out today.

And it's a sign written car. And it's still, eh, eh. Here she comes. Well, there you go. If you hear a car beside you going, eh, and it's sign written, that's Leone, give her a wave. Hey, thanks, you call Leone? Okay, see you guys.

So, I'm going to say, when I was a kid, you used to hold the TV aerial. I used to have to hold the TV aerial outside so my family could watch TV. We had six kids and we all just had to take turns. Why couldn't you have just put a stake in the ground or a pole? Or a clamp. Yeah. Inside of the house. Maybe that was just one way of getting the kid that was most annoying outside for a bit.

Yeah, true. If you misbehaved, you're going outside to hold the TV aerial. That would have been fun in a thunderstorm. Yeah. Somebody, we've had many suggestions on where to get your toys fixed. Oh, okay. Oh, good. Which is good.

We can pass those on. What are people saying? There's a place in Christchurch called Pitch and Pixel. They'll be able to fix that. Dolls Hospitals, there's quite a few of those around. Oh, okay. Dolls Hospitals, they make quite a few toys fix there personally. Do you think they come in a little toy ambulance?

Please. Wee-woo, wee-woo, wee-woo. All right. And they phone ahead and they're like, Doctor, get the ER ready. The heads come off. That would be cute. Yeah, that would be very cute. To go into a Dolls Hospital and have her dressed as a nurse. Yeah come off. That would be cute. Yeah, it would be super cute.

That would be very cute to go into a doll's hospital and have her dressed as a nurse. Yeah, yeah. That would be really cute. And yeah, people just making all sorts of things. Someone said every time you got in mum's car, you had to pop the bonnet and wrap the wire around the battery a little bit tighter.

So that obviously doesn't sound very wonderful. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, tighter so that obviously doesn't sound very worrying for us ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Megan the podcast if you enjoyed this podcast why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen

too subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts and music lives here

ZM