ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 26th May 2021

Episode Date: May 25, 2021

Americans hide Snacks Top 6: Waikato DHB Are your parents spending your inheritance? Vaughans Preparations What sound ended your relationship? Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Morn and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. Georgia, who does the day show here at ZM, and so many other things, so many other things that I've nominated her. I thought I was nominating her for a company award, but it turns out she just might get her name on the TV in the kitchen. Well, that means a lot to some people. The name on the TV in the kitchen? Yeah. Well, no, I want my name on the TV in the kitchen. You never getting your name on the TV in the kitchen. I've heard The name on the TV in the kitchen? Yeah. Well, no, I want my name on the TV in the kitchen. You're never getting your name on the TV in the kitchen.

I've had my name on the TV in the kitchen. What for? Someone nominated me. Bitch that stole someone's food from the fridge. No, someone nominated me for being a nice person. You want to know what that's like? Did you nominate yourself? No.

No one else thinks you're nice. But Georgia came in today. She was pretty excited. She wanted to show off that she's got a smartwatch too This was your birthday present wasn't it? Yeah How you put so much time and effort into this Lovely partner

Fuck it up You should not be there I just don't want to go with the norm And get myself a watch where I have to close rings every day You don't have to close the rings You can have those not even there You've come in with a fancy as Garmin smartwatch.

I have. Are you finding fish with that? No, I can actually play golf with it though. Wow. Which one's more expensive? I don't have a watch

period. I'm not going to go look. But I don't understand why you wouldn't get an Apple watch when you've got an Apple iPhone. Because these are more accurate for fitspos like myself.

These are accurate. I actually can go swimming with this bad boy. It looks like the $49 one from Kogan. You are such a bitch. It looks like the Dick Smith one. Stop it. That was her birthday present. Did Hayne have a lot of flybys?

Because you can't get them with flybys. I don't know. He does have, like, I think he works for ASB and I think they might have their own rewards. Lots of flybys because you can't get them with flybys. I don't know. He does have, like, I think he works for ASB and I think they might have their own rewards. Lots of flybys. I think they might be pretty, like, the same price, I feel like. I might be wrong. Except they are stink. Quick Google.

No, they look identical. The app even looks like yours, but I bet you my calorie count is better than yours and my heart rate. What, you're saying more accurate? Yeah. All you've said all morning was, I can play golf with this. No, but it can. It holds golf courses.

I hate golf. What do you mean it holds golf courses? Like, it can show you golf courses that you can go to. Well, in case you get lost walking to the 14th hole. I heard it was a great feature that a lot of golfers enjoy. Learn to listen, though, Georgia. If you do anything or get anything that's different to what these two have,

just never tell them because you'll never hear the end of it. They would have been none the wiser if I'd gone like this and just covered up the garment. No, because it looks

chunky as anything. Oh, it's quite chunky. It's quite thick. It is exactly the same. Mind you, it's got to hold all those golf courses. That's probably where

the extra centimetre of width comes from. I'm pretty sure it picks up how good my swing is. Like if I've got a good swing on me. But there's probably an app you can get for the Apple Watch that does that as well. I tell you what, all three of you are just a punish. I don't want to hear about your bloody watches

anymore. Smart watches has led to a lot of screaming today. I've got a very busy day. I might not close all my rings. I'm quite stressed about it. See, that sounds awful. No, you'd love it because it fits my hands. Yeah, Coach Reeson had your bloody ring shut before of bloody 6 a.m. in the morning. You're there at, excuse me. First thing in the morning.

Yeah. That does sound bad, but people that don't know what closing the rings means. Oh. Add some sex stuff. Here we go. Here we go. Straight up sex stuff. Christ.

Okay, all right. Well, you go bloody fly somewhere with your gum and watch. Yeah. So they do the GPS in planes. There's actually a little plane map you can get to. I'm pretty sure. Really? Well, in case you get lost on your Cessna.

In your Cessna on the way. My mum would love that. What if the pilot's not good? What if the pilot's not good? That's why it's so big. It's got a parachute in it. They're doing an announcement on the plane. Can anybody fly a plane?

Bing! I've got a Garmin watch. Sit the fuck down, Garmin woman. You've mentioned that six times since you took off. There's no golf courses on this plane. I'm not on a golf course. ZM. Hit music.

Live the air. Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast. Good morning. There's no golf courses on this plane. Don't land on a golf course. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleech, Vaughan and Megan. Happy Wednesday. Thanks. As. Good morning.

Undeniably, it's Wednesday where we are right now. Undeniably. But there are parts of the world still in Tuesday. Suckers. No one in Thursday yet though No Big news for the moon next on the show You may have noticed Well you laugh

Executive Internania But Mercury's in retrograde It might explain your mood Wow Thanks That's made it better Would have said your energy levels. Yes.

Rather than your mood. Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, we're all a bit funky and a bit of a funk. Yeah. Because Mercury's in retrograde. What does that even, do you know what that means? Nah.

What does that mean? Crystals or something? Right. Charging them. Definitely crystals. Probably wine. Oh, if you've got crystals, get them out now. Oh, yeah, the moon's big.

Get them out now. Oh, yeah, the moon's big. Get them out now. Yeah. It's a pretty foolish looking moon already, but next on the show, what the moon's doing tonight. Probably what it does every night. Hanging out in the sky. The moon came up and you'll never guess what happened next. Click to see.

Or is going to happen tonight. Yeah. Also coming up on Or is going to happen tonight. Yeah. Also coming up on the show, the top six. The top six details as a person that grew up under the Waikato District Health Board. The top six things the hackers will know about me and my stay in hospital. Because... This is wild. So they've hacked into the Waikato DHB.

This has been a week now. Yeah. Because... This is wild. So they've hacked into the Waikato DHB. This has been a week now. Yeah. And apparently, yeah, they have personal details. They're giving the board one day to pay the ransom. Or they say they're going to, what, release the details? Release the details. But then who's getting that? The dark web?

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Weird. I don't know. But yeah, I was on there. I stayed in Waikato Hospital a couple of times as a web. Yeah, I don't know. Weird. I don't know. But yeah, I was on there. I stayed in Waikato Hospital a couple of times as a kid. Yeah. So the top six things they'll know about me. Because I'm just going to beat them to the punch.

I'll take the wind out of their sails. Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. A super blood moon is what we're going to get tonight. Not just a full moon, a super blood moon. And if you've seen the moon out this morning, she's nearly there looking big.

Yeah. And beautiful. So forget your phone. That's not going to take a decent photo. That's what this article leads with. What about the Zoom on this one? Nah, still rubbish? Still blows out.

Yeah. And I think those phones are made the, well, that phone when it goes to night mode is made to light up areas rather than take the photo of the brightest aspect of it. So you're going to need like a proper DSLR camera to get this moon. So from 11.11 tonight. Yeah. Too late. Do you ever, when you see a clock, you're like, hey, look. All the ones. And you make a wish, don11 tonight. Yeah. Too late.

Even when you see a clock, you're like, look. All the ones. And you make a wish, don't you? Yeah. For about 14 minutes is when the Earth's orbit is going to be closest. Sorry, the moon's orbit is going to be closest to the Earth. And it will also be a lunar eclipse. So this is the first blood supermoon since 1982.

Whoa. So there hasn't been a blood supermoon since I first joined the Earth as a human. So I've got in front of me an apple. Yeah. What's Maori for mandarin? I must look that up. I've got a mandarin, an apple, and a mandarin. So we're the earth, we're the apple.

Okay. And this mandarin's the sun. And where will the moon be? No, I wouldn't have used the same mandarin as the sun. Shall I get the banana? No, because it's not severe. Do you want a small apple? Yeah.

Here you go. You can have my little apple. Make the big apple the sun. Okay, the sun. Yep. Now next put the satsuma, the mandarin. And then the little apple. I don't know, actually.

Actually switch those around because size-wise. No, switch the little apple. No, keep the apple. That's it. That's what I'm happy with. You've got a smaller mandarin? Yeah, this one. Perfect.

There we go. So the, this is not a mandarin. Yeah, this one. Perfect. There we go. So the big apple is the sun. And then next, the earth. The earth. Yes. And then next, the moon. The moon. So what's happening is we're moving right in between the sun and the moon.

And we're going to block the light from the sun that reflects off the moon. And so it'll be orange. Why will it? Because it's getting tinges of sun. Because, you know, at sunset, when we start losing the direct sun, we get its scattered ions or whatever it is. And so it looks red in the morning. And, like, at dusk and dawn, there's the redness because it's pretty.

So that's what's going to be happening on the moon. So big apple, medium apple, mandarin tonight. 11-11. Now, when it's a solar eclipse, switch the apple and the... That's it. And the moon blocks the sun. Now, that has to happen during the day on one of those days where you can't see the moon, but it's there. And that's when you're

not allowed to look up at it, eh? You don't look at that. Unlike Trump who looked up at it. Remember he looked up at it? Idiot. Now if switch the little mandarin and the big apple Yep. If that happens we're dead. Yeah, we're screwed, eh? If that, if somehow the moon goes on the other side of the sun and the

sun is between us and the moon we won't even be alive to admire that. No mandarins for me. No. There'll be liquidy pulp. We'll be a big pile of nothing. Well, yeah, so tonight, 11.11, the eclipse. For 14 minutes, 15 minutes.

Yeah. Okay. What's the weather looking? Yeah, that's the thing. I mean Yeah that's the thing This thing hasn't happened for years It could be cloudy Who are we kidding We'll be asleep

Well yeah There's no way I'm getting up for this I'll just wait and see the photos tomorrow Yeah I know 11.11 I was like Yes that's not happening Absolutely not

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast So a woman Has won lotto in the US That's not a crazy story. The equivalent of 1.39 million New Zealand dollars. Okay. But she won lotto after she actually threw out or got rid of the ticket.

So this is a scratchy ticket. What we would have as a scratchy ticket. But it's a lotto. Instant Kiwis. Oh, right. It's called a slated lotto, right? Yeah. And she bought it at the shop. She says she was in a hurry is a scratch tape. But it's lotto. Instant Kiwis. Oh, right. Yeah, it's an instant Kiwi. It's like a lotto, right? Yeah. And she bought it at the shop.

She says she was in a hurry in a lunch break. I scratched it real quick, looked at it, and it didn't look like a winner, so I handed it over to them to throw away. Okay. Now, the people at the shop don't know why, but looked at it and discovered that she had won a million dollars. And didn't tell her?

I'm guessing dead. She'd gone. She was in a hurry, remember? She handed it over and she took off. Now, they put it on the counter and were like, okay, well, we're going to leave it here because she's going to come back. She's a regular. Oh my God, that's a good of them. I would have been like, ah yes, in the bin. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Yep. Hello, auntie, my God, that's a good of them. I would have been like, ah, yes, in the bin.

Ring, ring, ring, ring. Yep. Hello, auntie, I've got a little bit of a scheme and I need to have someone who's slightly distanced from me. And so they knew who she was because, yeah, again, she was a regular. They knew the family and so they knew who had got rid of it. And so someone went to see them at work. Yeah.

And said, hey, I must have been the kid. My mum and dad would like to see you. And so, she went back and was in total disbelief when they handed it over and said, you actually won

a million dollars. Because I always wonder, if you worked at a lotto shop or you had a lotto chaos, would you go through the bin and scan every instant kiwi scratchy

that people had put down that slot? Because, and I don't know if this is the same in New Zealand, but the store gets a $10,000 bonus from like their lottery commission or whatever when they sell a winning ticket. So they did get something out of it. They got the $10,000. See, I would have just kept the million and quit my job.

That's not the case in New Zealand though, right? Is it? No. I wouldn't imagine so. They don't get anything. What do they get? I've never heard that. being like a lucky lotto shop.

But is that also to deter people who sell lotto tickets from trying to scam the system somehow? Yeah, maybe. But then what's the deal in New Zealand

if you've got a lotto kiosk in your dairy or whatever? How much do you make? Or are you just like forever working on the lotto chaos, getting nothing out of it? Well, the idea is people come in for a lotto ticket but then get something else from the dairy, right?

Yeah, right. But sometimes they're on a different till and they'll be like, we'll just have to take a Christmas till. Oh yeah, they do that, yeah. We'll get some cash out from this till and we'll pay on that till. But she did actually give them a reward as well from the million dollars. It doesn't say how much, but she's saving the rest for retirement. So they got $10,000 plus whatever she was willing to give them. Yeah. Still from the million dollars. It doesn't say how much, but she's saving the rest for retirement.

So they got $10,000 plus whatever she was willing to give them. Still not a million dollars though. God, that just makes me want to go through all the bins of all the instant Kiwis. Yeah. So beep, beep, just scan them all down. That's all I do. Yeah. It'd be so much fun.

All right, 17 past six. The top six is coming up. Yeah, the top six things the hackers who hacked the Waikato DHB will know about me. Next on the show, though, there's been a study done and it turns out half of American families do this. So I don't know how as New Zealanders, how we do along these lines, but I'd say it'd be

up there. Easily the same, yeah. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. A study out of America has found that 48% of people have stashed their favourite treats in hidden spots around the house like biscuits, lollies, chocolate Treasure hunts

So that other people in the household don't find them Is this, it's not like hiding from kids. Oh yeah, 100% hiding from kids. Yeah, it'd be that. And in flats. And from partners, from flatmates. Exactly, yeah. Because you write your name on it in a flat and then it still gets eaten.

Yeah. Well, yeah, they're not going to miss one row of chocolate, are they? Pretty distinct they ate that row last night. No. 46% of those that have hidden snacks at home said they simply don't want to share. Well, 53% said the people they live with would eat them all if they

knew where to look. They also said respondents who admit to hiding snacks, of those that do hide them, 69% say they still do this at home. Over 7 and 10, 72% add that their snack stash or add that their snack stash has been discovered by somebody else at some point, meaning that the average time

they've moved their snacks to hide them, to keep them secret, is four times. Wow. I always remember that. What was the snack in the hidden vegetable or frozen pea packet? Oh, yeah, that's such a great hack. Or chocolate, anything that can be frozen in that, because nobody's looking in a bag of frozen pea packet. Oh, yeah, that's such a great hack. You put your lollies or chocolate, anything that can be frozen in that because nobody's looking in a bag of frozen mixed veggies. Yeah.

Until your mum just pours your chocolate Easter eggs that you smashed up so that they fit in the bag straight into a pot of boiling water. Or the chicken stir-fry. Without looking, yeah. And then she's got a chocolate stir-fry. Interesting. Interesting textures, mum. She's wasting it, not eating it. Yeah. How would a chocolate stir fry. Interesting. Interesting textures, Mum. She's wasting it.

Why not eat it? How would a chocolate stir fry go? Yuck. I'm imagining. Pretty yuck. Not good. Do you have a special place hidden from the girls? No.

I remember growing up, if you had like birthday lollies or Easter eggs or whatever, we had them under our bed and we'd guard them like. Oh, no, you. I'd hoover mine down emergently. It was a game in our family, especially after Easter, if you could make yours last the longest. Then when everyone else had eaten theirs, you'd eat them in front of them. Oh, yeah.

Like we were psychopathic children. Yeah. And we guarded the lollies like. Like dogs. Yeah. But we also didn't really have lollies or chocolate just hanging around the house. Nah, neither.

So when you did get them, you guarded them and it was like a ferocious big thing. Yeah. But like my kids still haven't finished their Easter eggs. Your kids are like weird. They don't have like sweet tooths. No, they'll eat it if they remember it's sweet teeth. Sweet toothies.

Sweet tooth. Because when I said it, I was like, no, they don't have the sweet tooth. Yeah. They do. They like lollies and stuff, but they'll just forget they've got them. And I guess because we do just have chocolate around the house so often, because mum and dad like a little bit of choc-a-choc.

You haven't created that shortage in demand. Exactly. And so when they do get them, it's not a huge deal so they can kind of take them or leave them. They're not obsessed by it. Maybe that's what I need to do, just leave chocolate all over the house so that I see it. Do you think that would work? No, it wouldn't work. No, see, because it's too late.

We were programmed in the 80s. Yeah, it's too late. It's too late. Wherever it was, feast or famine. So when they came, you just ate it and fought tooth and nail to eat more than your sibling. They were programmed in the 80s. Yeah. It's too late. It's too late. Wherever it was, feast or famine. So they were in that game. You just ate it and fought tooth and nail to eat more than your siblings. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like the cavemen. When they found a chocolate bar, they didn't know where their next one would be, so they'd have to eat it immediately. Otherwise the dinosaurs would go. Is that where it comes from? That's paleo. Yeah.

That's paleo. The way you describe there is gorging yourself on chocolate is now paleo. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the illegal ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. The Waikato DHB was hacked and the hackers, whoever they are, said you had a week or whatever and then we're just going to release all these details.

So apparently Andrew Little, is he the Minister of Health? Well, yeah, he's commented on it. Did he take over from... Who's that guy that went mountain biking during lockdown? Fuck. Yes. Apparently, some journalists have been sent patient details to show that these hackers are serious.

Right. Wait, so the journalists have been sent their own details? Well, no, just some details to prove that they're not just lying. And then, of course, the government's saying, well, we can't pay out hackers, otherwise this will just become a thing. Set a precedent. You can't... We don't deal with terrorists.

Exactly. You don't negotiate with them. Exactly. And apparently, yeah, doctors and the like are saying, well, people could die. Like, there's talking about sending cancer patients from the Waikato to Australia for treatment because... But so the hackers have also, what, affected...

They've shut down all the systems. Oh, my God. So when you get cancer treatment, you need to know... Like, the computers are directly involved in how much is administered? I don't know. Yeah, weird. Terrifying. Well, I grew up in Morrinsville, meaning I fell under

the Wakaato District Health Board. I've got details in the system. Yeah, Vaughan Allen Smith. Vaughan Allen Smith. Yep. Dad of birth. No, no. Read out all my details. They'll give you those when they release all of the details. It'd be good to get that released, though,

because I keep forgetting my blood type. I don't know mine either. I feel like mine's an A+, because it's positive. Because I always make a joke about how it's the best grade I've ever had. Like, I'm just worried we get drafted into a war and I'll be lying there in the medical and be like, what's your blood type? I'll be like, I don't know.

They'll be like, oh, we're at an O because O's are universal. That's the end of universal, isn't it? Yeah. It's like a universal adapter, but we're out. So if they do release these details, it's not going to be like on a public, it'll be like the dark web, right? I don't know. Yeah.

That's still scary though. It sucks because it's very personal details. But I can't imagine the Herald's going to get them and print three pages of people's details. There's no journalistic integrity to it. But yeah, it's your personal details, right? So rather than let them do that, I'm going to beat them to the punch

and I'm going to read you out what I imagine would be on my patient notes from my time at Waikato Hospital. Number six on the list of the top six things the hackers know about me from my time at the Waikato DHB. Number six a lady asked to be moved out of my ward

when I was in for a broken ankle when I was a kid because I cried every night when my mum left. Oh, did you? I still remember how traumatic it was. I still remember how traumatic it was. I was like seven or eight. And then I was just left in this hospital with these strangers. And my mum would be like, I've got to go.

I'm allowed to stay the night. And I'd be like. You're in a shared room. Oh, no, because they did put kids in with adults. I wasn't in a kids ward. I remember I had a hernia and yeah, there were just all kinds of people around. Yeah, yeah. It was like teenagers and old people.

And I remember hearing a lady be like, can I get moved out of this ward? That child will not stop crying. And the nurse was like, he's so – and the nurse was really nice. She was like, he's so young and his mum's gone. And grow up, though. I was so scared. And I remember one night she rubbed my back and I fell asleep. And then when I fell asleep.

The woman. No, no, my mum. And mum left. Yeah. And like a few minutes later, I woke up and she wasn't there. And I looked out the window because it was beside the window. And I saw mum walking in the car and I opened the window and I was like, Mum!

Did you ever like vom in one of those paper hats? Like they were like a spew bucket thing. No, they had little plastic containers. They looked like a two minute noodle container. Those were what you vommed in. I remember pressing the emergency button, just like meh, meh, meh, meh. And they all just came running and they were like, oh, he's just been sick. Like, I need attention.

I'm sick. I was sick. Unlike you. All right, number five on the list of the top six things the hackers will know about me from my time at the Waikato DHB is I had my pubes shaved off as a teenager because they thought I had appendicitis. Oh, yeah. Alas, it wasn't appendicitis,

but that was the first time I had my pubes shaved. Wait, they're like, okay, quick, shave his pubes. Well, they were prepping me for like, okay. And that was like, get the pubes shaving out of the way. How old were you? Slither slathered. Like 14. Oh my God, you're 14 and like strangers had to see your penis.

Wow. It was wild. They thought I had appendicitis. I had all the signs of appendicitis. Yeah. The heart, elevated heart rate,

like they were just like, oh shit. Yeah, he's about to burst. He is about to burst. And then they get there and one doctor came in and was like, nah, it's not appendicitis.

It's like some, they flushed me out anyway. They gave me a drink and I just like shat for three days straight and then I was okay. So you just had too many farm-baked cookies.

I was constipated. I was clogged up. It had too many farm-backed cookies. Constipated. It wasn't constipation, it was something it was like an inflamed something or the other. And at least you were pubically maintaining before your time. Yeah, totally, but it was just like this hatch of pubes was gone. Oh, okay. So you're like,

I like that, I'm gonna continue. No, because the first time you do it, it gets really itchy when it grows back. When you're not used to it, you're not going to continue. No, because the first time you do it, it gets really itchy when it grows back. When you're not used to it, you're not moisturising enough. No one tells you about the exfoliation. They gave me a little pamphlet at the hospital. They're like, you've had your pubes shaved.

What to do next? You should know. Moisturise. And shave the rest of them. That looks weird. Number four on the list of the top six things the hackers will know about me from my time at the Waikato THB.

I won the wards knitting competition after my nana visited me and did 80% of a very small scarf. She's like, what do you got wards for? I was like, oh, they've given it to all the kids and you've got to knit something and it's like this competition. She was like, do you know how to knit? I was like, nah, I'm not going to do it. And she's like, and rattled off this.

Just sat there talking to me knitting. I think you'll be safe. I don't think they add that to your patient file. I hope not. I don't need to be, you know, dragged down into that. You don't need to be cancelled for a faking a knitting controversy competition. Yeah, true. Years ago.

True. Number three on the list of the top six things the hackers don't know about me from my time at the DHB. I do not wake up from anesthetic well. At all. First time I woke up screaming and pissing everywhere. Oh my God, what's wrong with you? I don't know. Man.

I didn't even come into it and be like, ah! And I sat up, but I was already urinating. And they grabbed one of those skew hats that you were talking about or a two-minute noodle bowl. And try to aim it in. No, they just kind of like put it over. So I was just pissing on myself and not generally all around that area they put you to wake up.

Second time, I woke up vomiting and just like wildly swinging my arms. And I was like knocking equipment. And like a lady tried to restrain me. And I was like vomiting wildly and screaming. Yeah, I don't wake up from anaesthetic well. Number two on the list of the top six things the hackers will know about me from my time at the Waikato DHB. We got told off because there was a teenager in the bed beside me

who had a NOS mask on for the pain relief. And they asked me if I wanted a tune. And I was like, seven. And I was like, yeah, you always see the people putting their masks on. But it wasn't an oxygen mask. It was like a pain relief mask. Oh, my God. You were doing a laughing gas. I was having a bang.

I was doing a bock gas bang. A bock gas bang. Should they Christmas parties? I'm not saying off the hook. A bock gas. Yeah. Firstly, like, okay, let's do helium. Hello, guys.

And now let's do nangs. I bet you they've got a soda stream hooked up to the big tank, too. Oh, the big CO2. Yeah. The soda stream never runs out. Speaking of which, I'm out of bloody soda stream.

I'm getting a very weak bubble at the moment. Oh, yeah. And number one on the list of the top six things the hackers don't know about me from my time at the Waikato DHB. When I was a teenager, you'll remember I was in there

for the false appendicitis. Yeah. I had the option for painkillers of an injection painkiller or a suppository painkiller and I opted for suppository not knowing what it meant. Just not the injection. I just thought, if it's not an injection, I'm down for it.

Not knowing what it meant and then having to play it cool when one very large tablet got popped up my anus. So experimental. It was a wild trip to the hospital. Yeah. Finger up the ass and then I had my pubes shaved. It was like, trip to the hospital Yeah Finger up the ass And then I had my pubes shaved It was like And oh you know what

For free God bless the health system Yes What an experience That experience That is today's Top 6 I got an email from the girls school yesterday About a game called Bases

That's been banned Bases And I email from the girls' school yesterday about a game called Bases that's been banned. Bases? And I asked both the girls and they said they haven't played it. Is this an app? No. No, no, no. I think it's like, you know what?

I think it's old school. I think it's like an old go home, stay home. Well, you've got like a base. Yeah. You've got a fort or a base and get out. Yeah, maybe like, what's that one where you steal the balls from other people's... Oh, yeah, okay. Base, what's that called? I don't know.

Base. Yeah. Sounds like paintball. I don't know, because the girls don't play it. And I said, well, apparently, you know, this led to fighting and extreme language. The girls were like, oh. And then they were all of a sudden interested in playing bases. I was like, no, I won't lie to you, girls.

I always sound like I want to play a bit of bases too. It sounds like fun. So they'll go to school today and try to get in on this. Try to get in on a black market game of basses. No, because basses is banned now. Right. Basses is off. So when you get an email like this, what does it say?

Is it from the principal? Yep. Acting principal. Oh, well, where's the principal? He's doing a sabbatical term to further his education. Which I admire because if I, like, I don't want to learn anymore, I'm done. They were like, you can take some time off. I'd be like, yes, to learn.

I'd be like, what? There's no time off. I was thinking Bali. You said time off. But now you want me to learn. So they called all the kids together for an assembly years three to six and said, play fighting gone wrong

and heated arguments and bad language over the game. Bases! Goodness. Bases is now banned. So they're just kind of like, it's cool. What are they doing like our day when we're at primary school and there was no email? Newsletters. We just had an assembly and they tell you.

Because you don't get newsletters anymore. They email you the newsletter. Yeah, but your parents wouldn't find out, would they? Unless it was like a parent teacher or they saw you doing school pick up. You could screw up the newsletter. Yeah. If there was something in there that directly involved you, they'd be like, I'll give it to the oldest

child if there's multiple children at the school because they're the more responsible ones. Yeah. Well, my brother was a narc. So if there was something, not that I was ever called out personally in a newsletter, but he would totally have laminated that before I got home. Just to make sure it wasn't destroyed pre. I remember marbles was banned at our school for a little bit because people were like. Scamming? Yeah. Tricking? And like people were throwing rocks at people's marbles to smash them.

Oh, they're glass. Don't do that. Yeah. Can't beat them, smash their marbles? Yeah. That's totally good because trading card games are always banned

or like collectibles, like baseball cards or... Yeah. Basketball cards rather or X-Men cards got banned at our school because people would be like, what? No, that shiny Wolverine card's dumb, man.

Switch it for this one. It's not shiny. It's an X-Men no one's ever heard of. And kids would be like, okay. Those are people that later in life grew up to get scammed by that Windows thing when they ring up and try to sell you insurance. Yeah, they need to take control of your computer just to get rid of the virus.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Boomers, and not just the... Because you know how a boomer... Because baby boomers are now real, real old. Like the actual legit baby boomers that were born in the 10 years after... Like the top end. Yeah, the top end.

Well, baby boomers in the 10 years after World War II ended. So from 1945 to like 1956. So even my dad's like very low-end boomer. So yeah, the definition between the ages of 57 and 75. Right. That's a big difference. Yeah, massive difference. Someone that's 57 wouldn't like being pumped into a boomer.

A boomer's not a demographic anymore. It's more of a psychographic. So you could be young and have boomer qualities. Tendencies. Like me when I go to bed at nine o'clock. Yeah. Yeah. Total boomer.

Nine o'clock. Dinner at five, boomer. I'm actually on rest time hours. I'm more of a retired, what's the one above boomer? Dead. Seriously worried about? My five, five-thirty at p.30pm dinners. Is Gen X straight after Boomer? The great generation or the silent generation or one of them ones?

Yeah. But there's a lot of Boomer qualities in that generation as well. Yeah. So, yeah, a Boomer's more of a tendency. But people who are retiring now, and this may be due to the pandemic. Yeah. Because, you know, prior to that, it was all cruise ship wasn't it yeah it was lots of money was spent on cruise ships apparently now moving into insanely expensive retirement homes that aren't just sort of a rhyman village yep with like a community hall but everything you need in your own room. And moving into them,

they've got things like hydrotherapy pools, saunas, spas. There's one with an 18 seat theater that you can just be like, I want to watch Gone with the Wind. The Chase. Oh my God. That would be great.

Watching The Chase in a movie theater. This should just be standard every day at five. Yeah, screams and answer. Yeah. And then you've got to stay for the news. You've got to stay for the news. And then you've got to scream at Hilary Barry. Yeah, and you mute the ads because they get really, really loud.

And then you stay to see Hilary's shoulders on those massive screens and you start penning your letters. And also one had like speakeasies, like bars for old people. And they're costing some of them in the UK like half a million quid a year.

So it's for the top end. So that's like a million New Zealand dollars a year. But our top end and everything's like, oh, once you're in, you're in. Yeah.

Man, you've got to hope you've got enough in your KiwiSaver if you're paying half a million dollars a year for retirement. Yeah. I think if you're moving into you're in. Yeah. Man, you've got to hope you've got enough in your KiwiSaver if you're paying half a million dollars a year for retirement. I think if you're moving into these sorts of things, there might be a bit more money than your average KiwiSaver. Yeah.

But they've got to get better, eh, rest homes and these villages? And they kind of are. Like, a lot of them have golf courses now. Well, you imagine when we get there, we're a generation that expects the best for the least. Yeah. You know, we want it delivered that expects the best for the least. Yeah. You know, we want it delivered to us and we don't want to have to pay much for it either because we came to being in the time of internet shopping, AliExpress and Wish.

Yeah. We want it for far cheaper and we will keep searching until we find it. And we need to gram it so that it's better than our mates in their rest home. So all of our rest homes are going to be like boutique Sydney hotels. Yeah. Just made to be Instagrammable. Yeah. Yeah.

But I know we've kind of like talked about it before, but this was in a time pre-pandemic when we talked about how your parents are spending all your inheritance on international travel. And as they bloody well should. On your footnote, I think parents should absolutely spend all of their money. I don't want to. they bloody well should. On your footnote, I think parents should absolutely spend all of their money. It blows my mind when someone's like, when they talk about

their parent, when an inheritance they might get, I'm like, what? You can't count on that money. And they're also the sorts of ones

that'll sue their brothers and sisters because they got more money than them. Oh, if they're giving it out, I want the same as my brother, but I don't want it. But if they're giving it to him,

I need the same. I will absolutely sue my brother. I think your brother should get more. You'll waste it all on bloody stupid sandals. There's no provisor on what I'll spend it on. These are not stupid sandals. They have to come to see you. He's right there.

So automatically he's costing them less. Yeah, so already he's getting more than I am. Oh, okay. So I'm, yeah, okay. Well, so you're both just like barnacles on the side of your parents' boat. Just like getting a free ride around the ocean. Don't let go. Yeah, obviously to my parents, like, don't leave any behind.

They didn't start with anything. They earned their money. I want them to spend it all. Yeah. You're just a nice guy. And am I allowed to go and visit? If they're in one of these, like, high-end retirement homes, I could really see myself staying over.

When my kids have moved out of home, I'll go and be like, hey, ma'am, hey, dad, should we go to the Speakers? Yeah. I'd love to plug my PlayStation 8 into the private 18-seat cinema. Totally. They come to watch The Chase and you're like, hey, but I went to the TV. Just like the good old days.

But with travel out of the picture, how are your parents or grandparents, how are they spending their money? Your possible inheritance going forward. Are they like getting some more luxury items? Like buying luxury cars or just spending it all on holidays here?

Or buying expensive dogs that they definitely love more than you already. So, yeah, I guess obviously tongue-in-cheek this morning, but we want to know from you, 0800DARLSATM, you can text 9696. How are your parents rudely spending your inheritance? The baby boomer rest home expensive end of the market is booming. In the UK, £,000 pound a year, rest home with like private cinema, speakeasy bars.

Speakeasy bar. Pool so you can do your aqua jogging, therapy pool, all the works. I'm guessing chefs as well, like proper chefs and everything. That kind of high-end market booming because all these baby boomers have all this money to blow on their retirement. It's very rude.

Yeah, very rude. Who would have thought absolutely gouging the housing market would have paid dividends? But it has tax-free dividends. Tax-free. And so now they are rudely, the baby boomers, spending our inheritance. Obviously, tongue-in-cheek,

we would like to ask you this morning how your parents are wasting your inheritance. My mother reads this text message. My mother has started buying multiple large Star Wars Lego sets. What? Those are expensive, right? Yeah, but not opening them as some sort of future investment situation. For the grandkids or just because she's...

No, I don't think that's for the grandkids. Does she know they make a thousand of them? Yeah, or thousands of them. As well as buying things like... She couldn't just buy an air fryer. She had to buy the top of the line air fryer. Oh, okay. That was $700. Yeah, she didn't want to have to push the buttons on the $150 ones.

My parents are rudely spending all their inheritance on their grandchildren. My kids don't need all these weekend getaways and toys and treats. And then you're like, where was this when I was a child? It's skipping a generation. Exactly. Robin, what are your parents rudely spending your inheritance on? Well, first off, we got told that we're getting a new sibling, which was a $4,000 puppy that she's picking up next week,

which was quite exciting. And then we soon follow that she thinks it needs a sibling, so she might go back for a second one. That's a grand that you could be missing out on. What kind of puppy is it? It's one of those mixy caboodle crazies. Oh, don't

bother. They hang around for over two hours. It's like 15 years old, still kicking. Robin, thanks for your call. Roxanne, what are your parents wasting your inheritance on? Have I got a story for you. My mum just inherited some money from my great aunt. I won't say it was a good amount,

which paid off the last of my parents' mortgage. So I just want to attain that I live in this place and it's not that bad. It was a good amount, which paid off the last of my parents' mortgage. Yeah. And so I just want to attain that I live in this place and it's not that bad. But then she went and spent $400,000 on a property in a beach in Whanganui. Yeah. And it is an absolute hole. Like, rip down the house, build a new one and I find it ridiculous because we bought our house for like, at least

less than half that. Yeah, so she's frivolously buying property. Very rude. Very rude. This could pay dividends. Is she planning on doing it up and then can you stay there? Well, yes she is. She's planning on doing it up and keeping it

so she can be closer to, like, us and my brother who lives in Taranaki. But I just think, like, I know that $400,000 is not a huge amount for poverty in the likes of Auckland, but in a place like Whanganui, for a place like that, that's, like, you know, it's very questionable. Apparently used to be a drug house, you know. There's just some...

Oh, wow, OK. There's just there's been some... Oh, wow. Okay. There's been some things going on there. Yeah, wow. Oh, well, hopefully that gets done up and you can, yeah, you'll still get that. I mean, it's not money down the drain, is it? Seems like mum's got a meth house. She's going to get into production.

Thanks, you cool rocks. And some text messages. My parents are spending my inheritance on my nephew, grandpa and grandson in matching Tommy Hilfiger outfits. That's so cute. Can you imagine that? Wow. My parents were world travellers

who called camper vans slow movers for old people, but now they can't travel. Guess who's bought themselves a bougie caravan? I'm not mad about it though, I'll get to borrow it. Yeah, right. Mum bought one of those really flash robot lawnmowers.

You want one of those, don't you? You want one of those. Yeah, damn right. Somebody else said my 75-year-old mother's got into playing shazies. Okay, well that could be good for your inheritance if she invests in the right kind of areas. My dad ordered a fancy

yacht and then my mum's boyfriend's done the same thing. So I'm just losing money left, right and centre. Hey, but you'll have a yacht at the end of it. Well, will they? Imagine inheriting a yacht. I'd be like, what do I do with this? How does it go? Is there a motor?

Sink it for insurance? Yeah, probably. I would. I'd just run it ashore. Or just pull the anchor up before a storm. What happened? We are certainly not encouraging any kind of marine fraud on the show this morning. Certainly not marine time fraud.

That was a joke. Somebody asked if my parents are serial hobbyists. Since COVID, they've just been spending insane amounts of money on whatever takes their whimsical fancy. E-bikes being the latest thing. And they couldn't get just any old e-bikes. They both had to get top-of-the-range e-bikes. They're expensive, top-of-the-range. They'd be like 10 grand at least.

Top of the line. Yeah, it's a lot of cash. All right, well. It's their money. Quick to injure. Exactly. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. A study's been done on Americans,

so you've also got to take into this a bit of that American bravado. Yeah, okay. We're the best. And then some simple questions later show that I'm not. Calm down. So people were asked how long they thought they could survive in the wilderness, and people thought 16 days. The average American thought they could survive 16 days.

So that's just over two weeks. Over two weeks. However, only 17% of them felt very confident in their ability to start a fire with a flint, you know, a flint and a stone. Yeah, right. Which is what you'd need to help you for 16 days. I mean, you need to eat and survive.

You just make it happen, don't you? Yeah. 14% feel confident about being able to identify edible plants or berries in nature. Yeah, I don't back myself to do that. So many of them look the same. It was on Country Calendar at the weekend. Did you see the forager? I saw like five minutes of that.

And he was like, don't eat these leaves. Yeah, he's like, oh, so these berries are yum, but they look almost identical to a very poisonous berry. I was just like. I don't think I'd eat berries. That's the guy that's just going to be dead one day and be like, what happened? Wrong berries.

Yeah. Like there's literally a supermarket down the road, mate. That was one thing the Hunger Games taught me is don't eat the berries. If you don't know, just don't eat berries. The thing it taught me was don't volunteer for tribute. It's not going to be a good time. It's going to be long lasting PTSD. The thing it taught me was don't volunteer for tribute. That too. It's not going to be a good time. No, it's not going to end well. It's going to be long-lasting PTSD.

Stay out of the way. And I'm not built to be a hero. That's what it taught me. But yeah, they reckon they could survive out there for 16 days. So there was no provisor on like what time of the year this is? They're just like, just out in the wilderness. No, this was just on a whole. Okay.

So when asked about food and stuff, they were asked to identify a black oak leaf. And they were like, that's a black oak leaf. But apparently 35% of people pointed at poison ivy. So that's another thing. Americans. That they've maybe forgotten. They've not only got to eat,

but they've also got to contend with wild animals as well. It's funny, that could be a reality show. Like, I know they die, but, like, it would be so entertaining. Or like an actual reality reality. Not like a fake. Survive in the wilderness. Yeah, like a survivor, but actually survive. Isn't that Naked and Afraid?

Yeah. You don't like know what kind of situation they're going to drop you in. And you only get to take one item. Yeah, that's right. Do they stop you if you're going to eat poison ivy or something? Do they intervene? It makes great TV if they don't stop you. No, they don't eat that.

It makes the company liable for your death, though. That's true. If they don't stop you as well. They always team you up with someone like wildly different to yourself on that. So you not only like learn about survival, but you learn about yourself because you've got to learn to survive with someone like that. Can you imagine me and Fletch in the wilderness? He'd just be like, hurry up, hurry up.

I'd imagine you'd be dead. Fletch didn't kill you. He'd just leave you behind or use you as bait. Megan would be my food for 16 days. Yeah. Oh my God. Once I get the flint for 16 days. Yeah. Oh, my God. Once I get the flint going to get the fire. Well, you want to cook her.

Don't say I need to be slow cooked. Don't need to roar. Bitch, I'm tender as. I'll just send you a tart. I'm tender as. If you're going to eat me a delicious steak. I'll bring you a generator so I can power the slow cooker. Yeah, yeah.

Chuck her in a crock pot bit by bit. Okay, so say you go into the wild, Megan. You've got to last 16 days. We drop you in the back country of New Zealand. But New Zealand back country is, I'm not going to say it's forgiving because I know people have disasters out there. One.

But compared to other environments around the world, you don't have to contend with grizzly bears. No, there's nothing that's going to kill you. Or wolves. Am I allowed to quit? Or is it just until I die? No, you have to survive 16 days. How are you getting food?

Go. I'm trying to catch a fish in the river. Oh, I don't... I find like a... Am I near one where the trout jump up out of the river? I try and bear it and catch one. I'm dying, aren't I? You're lasting however long your body lasts without food.

Can you eat ferns? I just eat ferns. You can eat ferns, right? You can eat the roots of ferns. Yeah, right. Yeah. And you know what? People will be like, oh, don't eat mushrooms.

You can't identify them. But if you're going to die, you might as well die tripping balls. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. An American on TikTok has listed the most stressful things about living down under. She lives in regional New South Wales and she says if you're going to move down there, this is something you need to know.

Okay, if you're American and you're thinking of moving to Australia, there's something you need to know. And that thing is dropping in. Australians will just show up at your front door unannounced with no prearranged plans but it's okay. All you need to do

is offer them tea and coffee. You won't have any proper food to offer them and they won't care. You might not be wearing pants and they won't care. You will never get used to this and it will always stress you out.

Welcome to Australia. We're rural New South Wales. Yeah. We have a place to move. Regional. Is that the same thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, right. Regional New South Wales. But then that's just a rural thing. I remember that growing up. You would just be driving from

somewhere to somewhere and Dad would be like, oh, I think he lives here. And you'd just be indicating, you'd just be turning in. Nosey Ian. Yeah. And you'd just indicate and you'd just be turning in. No, see Ian. Yeah. And he'd just rock in and it was the same way. And then there's all this pressure on the person who's there. They're like, oh my God, sorry, we don't have anything in the tins for like baking. And they'd be like, that's all good.

That's all good. But it's all good for the person visiting, but the host doesn't always feel all good about it. Well, your wife doesn't like this because she likes to, even when I come around, she's like, no, everything's got to be clean. I'm like, it is clean. It good about it. Well, your wife doesn't like this because she likes to, even when I come around, she's like, no, everything's got to be clean. I'm like, it is clean. It's really clean. She's going to pop in.

Who with? When? I don't know. They're coming back from somewhere. Oh, my God. And then she'll just start panicking. But then I'll always text. I wouldn't just drive up and be like, yeah.

So are you counting neighbours? Because since we moved to our new neighbourhood, our neighbours just knock on the door. Oh, no. So are you counting neighbours? Because since we moved to our new neighbourhood, our neighbours just knock on the door. Oh no. Randomly. I don't know. You want to come in for coffee.

Because they're right there, they haven't travelled for it. But yeah, like just expecting to come in. Yeah, no. Different these days. Suburbia.

But then that's what's, maybe what's missing in New Zealand. Yeah, I think it's quite nice. People don't know their neighbours like they used to. It is quite nice knowing everyone around you. Yeah. But yeah, we put the New Zealand. Yeah, I think it's quite nice. People don't know their neighbours like they used to. It is quite nice knowing everyone around you.

Yeah. But yeah, we put the poll up. Yep. People dropping around unannounced. Are you for it? Are you against it? 71%

said no way. Against. I think the younger generations are not down for this at all. No. For planned socialising. Because the door,

someone knocks on the door and the anxiety kicks in. You're like, what is that? What do they want? Is that when your phone rings? What have I done? But worse. Yeah, because it's in Perth.

Is there someone there? What does he want? Knock, knock. Yeah! Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Got a text message yesterday saying, good morning, Mr. Smith.

In preparation for your Friday colonoscopy appointment, please start your low-fiber diet today. Oh. And I was like, that's right. I've got the information at home on what I need to do because on Friday I'm having a colonoscopy. Nothing to worry about. I haven't got any of the symptoms.

As I've said before, every day that there's no blood in your stills, a good day. But you've got like a family history. Got like a family history. Yeah, yeah. Right. Nothing like my siblings have both had their colonoscopies. And just to check.

And all good. No bowel cancer or anything. But we've got it in the family. Yeah. It's good to check. Got to check these things. Got to check these things. So, yeah.

Yesterday I started my low-fiber diet. Which is just like pretty easy. But like stuff like you can't eat seeds. Oh, okay. Because they can get trapped in the little wrinkles of your colon. Okay. Yeah, because you said you're not allowed your porridge today. I'm not allowed my porridge because it's oats.

And the little bits of oats, because what are oats? Seeds from the plant of the oat. And now I'm thinking, because I have porridge every day, is there porridge just in my creases? You could have a little. No, but you eat like nuts. I'm thinking, because I have porridge every day, is there porridge just in my creases? You could have a little, like... No, but you eat, like, nuts. I'm not allowed nuts. You're eating nuts. There's so much in your creases.

You've got seeds, nuts. You've got nuts up your... My creases are full with seeds. Seeds and nuts. All your crevices. All your nooks and crannies. Oh, my goodness. Chocolates, nuts, nuts and seeds.

Like, little bit dried bits of fruit. Yeah. Anything like that. Chunky peanut butter. No, no, no, no. Right. So they put this GoPro up on Friday. So, okay, I'll walk you through what I've got in my...

So today is like yesterday. Yep. No fibre. So that's like no fruit skins. We're trying to avoid fibre. What are you having for breakfast? Well, usually I'm just going to have some white bread.

Doesn't that have fibre? No, you're not allowed to like grainy brown bread but white bread apparently, nothing. Yeah, there's nothing. It's like eating nothing.

The nutritional value of white bread is close to zero. That's why it's a dollar a loaf. So, that today continues. Now, tomorrow, Thursday's where the fun begins.

Okay. So I'm not going to be at work on Friday. Thursday. Well, so why didn't you just schedule this in for afternoon? No, even if it was afternoon. So I've learned from, because I talked to my sister last night about when she had hers done. Yeah. And I said, because, and the only appointment was like a morning appointment.

But anyway, she said, when are you having it done? I said morning. And she's, and the only appointment was a morning appointment. But anyway, she said, when are you having it done? I said, morning. And she's like, oh, okay. I said, oh, what about afternoon? She's like, you will be on the morning of in no state to go to work. Right. So, on Thursday afternoon, the fun begins when I have to drink two litres

of this sachet stuff that will, as my sister put it, immediately begin the shit factory. Because she said she drank it and then half an hour later she was on the toilet for five hours. So the idea is your whole system

just gets wildly flushed. Oh my God, the nuts and seeds in your creases will be gone. Well, no, there's no nuts and seeds in the creases because you haven't been eating them. Because I haven't been eating them. But anything else that's in the creases is going to be gone. Well, no, there's no nuts and seeds in the creases. Because you haven't been eating them. Because I haven't been eating them, but anything else that's in the creases is going to be gone.

The evac. It's going to be a full evac. And so she said, even if you've got an afternoon appointment, come Friday morning when you've got to drink the last litre, because you've got to drink two litres and as quick as you can. Oh, so we wouldn't want to be dealing with that. We're absolutely calling you, though. She said your stomach will just be like

You're going to lose like five kgs? He's hoping, babes. calling you though. It would just, your stomach, she said your stomach would just be like, grrrr, grrrr, grrrr. You're going to lose like five kgs? He's hoping, babes. Until you eat or drink again. There's got to be a positive.

Bring me in some sachets. Can I get a couple more of these sachets? For just like, I don't know, early summer shred? I don't know. But then,

yeah, so she said in the morning, next morning, you'll think you've got nothing left and then you've got to drink another liter of the stuff and you'll just be like a rumbly mess. Oh, no. And then you go in and they like mildly sedate you and then, yeah, the GoPro goes up your butt or your bots.

Here's something that I learned last night when reading this pamphlet because I haven't read the pamphlet because I started to get a bit worked up about stuff until I needed to. So I got to the pamphlet part I haven't read the pamphlet because I'm starting to get a bit worked up about stuff. So like until I needed to, I didn't. So I got like, got to the pamphlet part and it was like, be warned, there'll be three people in the room. Yeah. For the colonoscopy.

I was like, why? How many people need to be monitoring my ass? Like, sure, the guy driving it's all that's needed. But there's two other people there. And also, there might be mild discomfort as sometimes gas is used to expand the colon. So you've got a camera up there, and I don't know if the camera's carrying the gas pipe

to like blow itself apart, to inflate the colon so that the camera can weasel up there a bit easier. Another great reason the bot Christmas parties are so great. Throwback to earlier in the show. Get yourself a... Don't plug your bum into the breast of your hand. that bot Christmas parties are so great. Throwback to earlier in the show. Get yourself a... Don't plug your bum into compressed air.

No, absolutely not. Explode yourself. So then this thing... You're just going to blow little balloons and you... No balloon, just air. Your ass is the balloon,

I believe. When everything's in and then you panic and clench so tightly around it, it becomes a sort of a... That's why you need to be sedated.

No wonder some Kiwi blokes are like, I'll just wait until I'm nearly dead. Nearly dead to go in. To sort this out. Because that's better. I'm looking forward to it. Are you? Of course you are. Just out of curiosity.

The journey. Now, do you like pull your jeans down or do you have to wear like a gown or something? I don't know how exciting. Because like you should like pull up and tuck. No, you're wearing a gown. It's a procedure. You'd wear a gown. Yeah, but you'll have to pull up and tuck. No, you'll wear a gown. It's a procedure. You'll wear a gown. Yeah, but you'll have to pull up and tuck.

They don't want to see anything flopping down. Right. That's actually a good call. I should schedule some pubic maintenance before the day. I want to look my best for the doctor. Your butt's been lasered though, hasn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's kind of taken care of.

But you don't want the hairy sack popping around. So that would happen. That's a good reminder. But yeah, so. We'll all be thinking of that on Friday morning. They called it a mild sedation. Okay. Do you need to be picked up?

Is your wife doing that? Okay, good. Yeah, awesome. We don't need you driving along. You're definitely not allowed to drive home. They said that. You're definitely not allowed to drive home. And I that. You're definitely not allowed to drive home. And I said, well, if it's around school pickup time

and my wife needs to go get the kids, can I get an Uber? And the lady on the phone was like, you probably don't want to get an Uber. Just jumping. Sorry, man. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. There is a doctor at the Newcastle University Research Fellowship in the Biosciences Institute.

Without breathing, that was good. One breath. Who has done a study on misophonia. Now, this is the extreme hatred of certain sounds. Mouth sounds? It can be particular sounds, but the one that they studied in particular was sounds made by other people. Chewing, breathing.

Apparently some people are really annoyed by other people's breathing. Yes. This is me. Have you ever been annoyed by someone's breathing? Yeah, but only because I'm annoyed at the person, not so much breathing. Right. Andrew huffs a lot. He won't know he's doing it.

And he'll sit there being like. And I'm like, you're huffing. Oh, like a French bulldog. Like, when he's concentrating, you'll get huffy. Like, you're. I can hear my cat doing that sometimes, but it's cute. It's called purring. No, no.

He's got like a. Like a little snore. A bit of a snorey snort thingy going on. It's real cute. So apparently if there's someone eating and it annoys you, but it's more than that, you can't ignore it and people can see it in your face. There's been a, the study showed a super sensitised brain connection

between the auditory cortex, which is the part of your brain that registers sounds, and the motor control part of your brain, specifically linked to facial muscles. Right. So when you can hear it and it's annoying you, chances are you may not even know, but you're also showing everybody how much it annoys you

because your face will change to an annoyed angry I'm going to hit you face. That noise is too much. I can't hide things on my face. No. I also don't think you try to. It would be actually interesting to know if you're

actually trying to hide things sometimes. Rather than just fully. Yeah, my face gives away everything, doesn't it? Letting it out. So off the back of this, we were wondering if this is something that some people, despite trying to ignore, cannot ignore. Yeah. Because there are parts, there are people who don't like it,

but there are people who cannot let it go unanswered. Yeah. Like. So we want to ask this morning, has there been sounds or a sound that's ended a relationship? Yeah. So a step more than just annoyed you, but did you get into a relationship with somebody and then find out they make a horrendous sound that ended the relationship? Like initially.

Open mouth eater. They make a horrendous sound that ended the relationship. Like initially, maybe at the moment, like Andrew's Mr. Toyboy's huffing is cute, but in a few years it wears off. It's going to get worse as he gets older. Yeah. It's just a thing that's going to break us. And then it ends up being the thing that ends a relationship. This is not going to be me that divorces him.

Let's be honest. And Executive Intern Anya's, she's got one that Mr Boon Boons makes. Okay, so every time we're eating ice cream, he will chew it and it kills me. It absolutely kills me.

What's an ice cream in a cone? He licks it. He'll lick it and then he'll chew what he's just licked. Yes. Wait, so he chews nothing because when you lick it's... So I'm more taught, you know when you get a bowl of ice cream? Yeah. He'll chew it like 24 times and I'm like, no, no, no,

that will just slide down. You don't need to do that. And I cannot listen to him do it without telling him off. So he puts a teaspoon of ice cream in because, yeah, this is different now because you're eating with a spoon. So you've got a teaspoon. What is he, five? Ice cream tastes better with a teaspoon.

Yeah, that's a fact. Yeah. And you get more... You're eating with a big spoon, you animal. And you can feel like you're having a teaspoon. What is he, five? Ice cream tastes better with a teaspoon. Yeah, that's a fact. Yeah. And you get more. You don't eat it with a big spoon, you animal. And you can feel like you're having a big spoon every time, but if you put that on a big spoon, it would be a little amount. Right. Always eat your ice cream with a teaspoon.

Makes it feel like it's going further. Right, I'm obviously missing a trick here. Okay. So he's spoon. Wow, I'm just being, feel like I've been set upon for using the wrong spoon. No, you can use whatever spoon you want, but don't shit on the teaspoon. Yeah.

Okay, right, yeah. So he goes, and then he goes, well, what's the sound that he makes? Is it just lip smacking? Well, yeah, because the ice cream

is providing no resistance. That's the thing. He chews like 24 times to get it down and I'm like, just slide it down. Are you sure he's not chewing a goody-goody gumdrop

or a gold rust chunky bar? So I this yeah and then i've put this to the test and gotten a smooth ice cream flavor or a vanilla yeah and there was nothing to chew and he still did it and i was like right i just can't even imagine chewing ice cream you don't need to chew ice cream and you know what the teeth cling. You let it melt and swallow. To the point where I'm now like, if we want to have ice cream together, you have to sit on the couch on the other side. You go and eat your ice cream in a different way.

Wow, because you just celebrated your five-year anniversary. It's a miracle. Do you think that after maybe 20 years, this could be what ends it? Quite possibly. What does he say when you're like, don't chew it? What's the explanation for chewing? He's just like, it's just how I eat my ice cream.

Leave me alone, you crazy cat. I'm like, no! You're the crazy one. Already getting text messages of support for people who's, my husband chews custard. What does he need to chew custard for? It's just his teeth clanging. See, maybe if they'd got a hiding at the dinner table when they were kids,

they wouldn't have done this. That's what I put my manners down to. Borderline child abuse. We are talking about noises that may have ended a relationship. Maybe annoying chewing. Yeah, there's some people with a hypersensitised connection between the auditory cortex of the brain and it's kind of linked to facial muscles

and just you can't hide your disgust. No. And you might put up with it early in a relationship even because you're like, well, you know, they're super hot. I like them. They're fun. This could be a good thing. And then, I don't know.

The honeymoon's over. The honeymoon's over and you just can't stand their mouth breathing. Somebody, and we've learned that Mr. Boon Boons chews his ice cream. Yeah. Which is weird. And so many people saying, oh my God, I thought my partner was the only person

that chewed things that don't need to be chewed. Why? Someone's partner chews yogurt. Like puts it off a puddle. It's not the lip smacking. It's the teeth chanking. Why would you do that? Why would you do that?

It's unnecessary. I don't know. Just can't not chew things in their mouth. Someone said, need to know, my brother and I always fight over this. Are you supposed to chew passion fruit or just let it slide down? Slide down. I just swirl it around, you know, swirl the bits around. So you get the taste in your mouth.

Yeah. And then down it goes. Because my brother chews it and smashes up all the little seeds of the passion fruit. It's horrible. No, I couldn't. I would find it yuck. I'm not a passion fruit fan, but if I, I wouldn't want to bite the seeds. Yuck.

No. No. I had to move out of a flat because one of the lads in the flat, when he ate, slid the steel fork over his teeth when he put the food in. No. Get out of here. Rochelle, what was the noise that ended a relationship? My ex-husband used to swish his drinks around in his mouth.

Like, he couldn't just have a drink and then swallow it. Like he was gargling Listerine or something. Yeah. Like, take a gulp and then be like... That's really bad for your teeth, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Or you're just smearing all the sug really bad for your teeth, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Or you're just smearing all the sugary drink over your teeth. Yeah, that's what I couldn't deal with.

It was just like, well, if you're having a coke or something, like, do you need to get that all around everywhere just to make sure you get the most decay? Well, I'm not sure. I will do that with jelly. So I'll put a chunk of jelly in your mouth and then you're like... And then you break it down to a watery consistency. Yeah, I'm stronger than you, jelly.

Yeah, disintegrated my mouth. Yeah. Take that, teeth. Right, and so was that the main reason you were just like, I just can't deal with this anymore? No, definitely not. Just one of those things that annoy me. Just one of the many things.

I hate the fork on the teeth thing too. Man, that's so bad. Yeah. What is wrong with people, eh? Yeah. All right, Rochelle, thanks for your call. Kate, what was the sound that ended a relationship? Is that me, is it?

Yep. Yes. Kate. Oh, hi. Yeah, apparently my sneezes are so high-pitched and loud that my husband gets so angry and aggro when I sneeze if I'm in the same room. Could you give us an example?

Because Executive Intern Anya has a cute little sneeze. She sounds like a kitten, though. Could you give us an example of your sneeze, Kate? What happens just so automatically? I know it's massive. Like, it's like a... Oh, yes, it's quite. I love those ones where you just let it rock your body.

Yeah. Like, it hurts me when I sneeze as well. Like, it hurts. And then if I hold it in, like, say if we're in the car and I can't escape the room because I know it's going to get angry, it hurts me to hold it in and try and make it, like, not loud. Like, it hurts my mouth. And so that's kind of. I try so hard and I like, not loud. Like, it hurts my mouth. And so that's kind of...

I try so hard and I can't do it. Yeah, that's kind of counted against you a few times. All right, Kate, thanks. You call some text messages. Somebody said that their partner chews his coffee. And that's really frustrating. He'll take a slurp of coffee and then kind of chew it. I didn't know this was a thing.

No. People chewing liquids. Yeah, it's weird. Grow up. My husband grinds his teeth in his sleep. After 10 years of marriage, I often find myself laying awake at night wondering if I really need this in my life. Get a Botox.

Get a retainer. Botox in his jaw. What? Botox. It relaxes the muscles in your jaw. And you see you can't. Yeah, because some people grind their teeth down. Yeah, because you get mouth guards for it, right?

It's a great, your retainers, you wear them while you sleep. That would be a great excuse as well if you did want Botox but your friends were Botox. Yeah, Botox in my jaw and just like

up the fangs a little bit. I just do it all while we're here. My partner hated the noise I made when I rubbed my eyes when I'm tired. Apparently it was very squelchy and very annoying.

A squelchy sound. My husband will purposely clank his teeth on a spoon when putting it into his mouth. That drives me nuts. That's grounds for divorce. My partner chews ice cream like executive intern Anya's, but he also eats salad with a spoon. How do you eat salad with a spoon? Are they married?

Traditional lettuce leaf. Okay, well, they're not getting married. That's very frustrating. I ended my relationship with public transport due to breathers. Loudly breathing and constantly sniffing. That's what somebody else said. Oh, sniffing. Yeah, because it gets into a bad habit.

People just end up doing it even if they don't need to sniff. What about headphones? They have a little sniff. Listen to some music or something. Yeah, they're going to be pretty hot for you to put up with that. Are you talking about

on the public transport? On the public transport. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. But then you'd look and you'd see them sniffing without hearing it and you'd be like, I know you're still sniffing.

Lots of noises. My friend breathes so loudly every time we're at the movies I have to make sure she's not asleep because she'll sit there being like... I know, I can't make sure she's not asleep. Because she'll sit there being like... I know, I can't stand mouth breathing.

I mean, the alternative's not great. Not breathing, but God, it drives me nuts. If my husband keeps breathing so loud while I'm pregnant, I'll end it. And someone said the sound that ended my relationship was the sound of another guy on our house when she was supposed to be home alone. Yeah, that'll do it.

Yeah, that'll quickly do it. That'll do it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the Project Mercury. This was NASA. Okay. Project Mercury was the first human spaceflight program from 1958 to 1963.

And the idea was to put man into Earth's orbit and then return them safely. Oh, yeah. So it was like the precursor to getting to the moon. You might have heard of one of the most famous guys was John Glenn, an astronaut. Nah. Handsome man. Handsome man. Okay. I'll take your word for it.

Bit of a Paul Bettany look to him. Oh, okay. Oh, okay, yeah. Sort of a tradition. Well, the fact of the day is that the Mercury astronauts had Mercury up their bum on the Mercury flights. Here's the why. This was in the 50s, and they hadn't developed technology for accurate temperature measurements,

and they had to get all of these readings from their time in space to know, because this was the first time we'd ventured into the outer atmosphere, into space. They had to monitor them. They had to monitor how much oxygen they breathed. Yeah. And they didn't have the ability for, they thought the fluctuating temperature of the forehead too much.

Yeah. The armpit, they needed to be able to move their arms, but they were seated the whole time on these Mercury flights. So they had a thermometer, a rectal thermometer, to record your temperature. Huh. So these were the, and it stayed in there the whole time. And then when it got back, but it would have been a classic thermometer.

It would have, when they got back to Earth, were they taking the readings while they were up there? So while they were up there, he was in charge of doing all these readings while they were up there. And apparently while it was up there, it had a little readout to the side. So he'd be writing down his little stats and he'd be like, oh, yep, that's the thermometer in my bot box is telling me I'm at a good core temperature

and he'd write it down. What about number twos? Well, no, they weren't up there for like days and days on end. Oh, I thought they just stayed up there. This is the one where the rocket blasted them up, they orbited the earth and then came back down. Okay. And then that. I reckon I'd still want to go. I know, same. That still sounds and then came back down. Okay. And then that.

I reckon I'd still want to go. I know, same. That still sounds like a long time. Yeah. You'd go before you went. I'd just get nervous. I'd be like, oh my God, I need to go. And then I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Yeah. And then it's like when you're playing hide and seek, the minute you find a good spot and you're nestled in there, you immediately need to go to the toilet. But no, if they needed to go number ones, they could go because there was like a little pocket for it to go into. They could do number ones. But yeah, for the whole time they were up there, apart from the very last flight,

they worked out how to get an oral thermometer in. They didn't use the same one. But yeah, it seems like... They just put it in your mouth. Just, well, no, because they couldn't. They had to have their mouth free. They were in constant communication with things. They'd be like, hold on, hold on, Houston.

I've just got to take my temperature. And they couldn't take it in and out. It was something that sat around in the corner of their mask, and apparently they lobbed onto to get a reading. So today's fact of the day is the Mercury astronauts, the Project Mercury astronauts, had a rectal thermometer in the whole time they were in that rocket. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I got an email last night that started out like a scam email. Boy, have we got an opportunity for you. I was like, here we go. Where's this coming from? Yeah. But I'm enticed. Okay.

I'm enticed because I don't have to do anything. Right. Oh, hang on a sec. This does sound too good to be true. I. This does sound too good to be true. I know it does sound too good to be true. But a person who will remain nameless, I don't want to give out any business secrets. Okay.

Starting a biscuit company. And you know I love cookies. I love biscuits. Yeah. I love cookies. Well, wait, which one is it? Biscuits or cookies? Because I feel like I'm going to buy a nice cookie.

I'm not going to buy a nice biscuit. Okay. It's a cookie. Okay. What's the difference? Isn't cookie an American a nice biscuit. Okay, it's a cookie. Okay. What's the difference? Isn't cookie an American word? And we say biscuits. Biscuit, yeah.

Yeah, but you know, fancy biscuits. Fancy cookies. Fancy cookies, yeah. A nice cookie. Yeah. A cookie feels like, yeah, you're right. You buy a cookie at a cafe. If it's called a biscuit, you might be like,

I'll go for a slice. Cookie. It's a better word. So they're starting a cookie company. Yeah. And I'll go for a slice. Cookie. It's a better word. So they're starting a cookie company. Yeah. And I can have an ownership slice. This is like the shark tank. Okay.

Like a share in the business. Yeah, I get a share in the business. How much of a share? 10%. Of a company that at the moment is worth nothing. Yeah. But could be worth something. Yeah, right.

Why would they want to give you a share of the business? Well, all I have to do is like be an ambassador, like a public. So you're going to be posting on Instagram every week about your biscuits? Not every week. Not every week. Right. This is why I would be no good at business, like self-promotion.

Yeah, yeah. I'd be like, oh, people don't want to hear about that again. You know, people start a business and they're like, oh, guys, it's all about business. Yeah.

And then it's all, Arbonne, I'm looking a bit like you. You didn't start that business. It's a multi-level marketing scheme. Yeah. But you know, when people do it,

it becomes their everything. So this company, Yeah. Have you tried any of the biscuits? Not yet. That's a multi-level marketing scheme. But, you know, when people do it, it becomes a reverie thing. So this company, have you tried any of the biscuits? Not yet. But that's why I'm not like this. I've not signed anything. But I have been. You don't want to put your name to a product you don't know. I have been.

They obviously know my sweet spots. They said, you won't have to do anything, which is like I'm immediately like tell me more. And there'd be an annual AGM where we would just eat and drink. So then I'm like, well, those are two of my favourite things. And that sounds like a tax-deductible weekend away to me. How do you know if these biscuits or cookies are any good? I don't know. They were just sounding me out.

Yeah, right. Okay. Do they have any minimum that they want you to talk about it? Because, I mean, if you're going to wire on about cookies on this show, I'm going to know that we're going to get some. Oh, yeah, cut.

Well, that's easy. You would just be, your favour would just be bought with biscuits. I know you. You're an easy. Megan, however, is a bit harder to sway. I mean, we could lose Vaughan if this biscuit company takes off and then Eat'em buy them out, or Griffin's.

Imagine that, and you get a 10% payout of like millions of dollars. Yeah. You'll be like, screw this job. Stick it. And you've literally done nothing. Done nothing. Apart from some Instagram posts about biscuits. I mean, how hard is it

to twist the New Zealanders' arm to eat a biscuit? You've been down the biscuit aisle in the supermarket lately? There's tens of thousands of biscuits. It's heaving.

It's heaving. It's a heaving market. And you know what? I don't think it's flooded. Well, no, that's the thing. Is it a flooded market? No.

How are you going to stand out from the crowd? You need to, like, look into this. You need to have a business meeting. That's right. We'll have to have

a business meeting. And I mean, you're taking on cookie time too. You're damn right business meeting. That's right. We'll have a business meeting. And I mean, you're taking on cookie time too. You're damn right. And you know, those things with 10 seconds in the microwave are delicious.

They give them out on New Zealand flights. Well, maybe our cookie's point of difference is it's five seconds in the microwave. More cookie, quicker. Are we going to have

some weird kind of thing where we're not allowed to discuss other cookies now? Like, well, no, I'd imagine when this cookie business takes off and starts absolutely thriving, the cookies will be giving us a wide berth. What?

Just your mic technique. Oh, yeah, no, because I'm relaxed now. I put my foot up. I'm a businessman. And I put my hand over the top of the mic and that changed the sound of it. Yeah, don't do that, please. Well, I'm going to become an ambassador for squiggles

because I like those and I don't want to see you succeed. Sell out. He's a sell out. He's going for an established biscuit. What we've got here is we've got someone who's scared to build their own brand.

See, I'm already talking this buzzword nonsense. Talking bullshit. You're going for the low-hanging fruit. Hey, you can't beat a squiggle. Blue Sky Thinker. It's one of New Zealand's top hanging fruit. Hey, you can't be the squiggle. Blue sky thinking. It's one of New Zealand's

top tier biscuits. Yeah, but where's it made, man? I actually don't know where it's made. Just like other biscuits. Yeah, okay. That sounds like

big business talking. Oh, you're telling you're going to be a punnish. Yeah, you are. Keep everybody hear this and be like, just renege on that.

Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. So some research has been done looking at the pass and fail rates of driving tests, practical driving tests. This comes from the UK but I'm assuming it would be the same here, right? We all take our

driving lessons either on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Friday. Do they do weekends? I don't think they do. I don't think they do. I don't think the AA is normally open then. I mean, I could be wrong. Apparently the best day of the week to pass your driving test,

according to the research, is Monday. What? Because they've had the weekend. Yeah, because they've had the weekend. No, but like everyone hates a Monday. I would have thought Friday because they're like loose and looking forward to the weekend. I know, and they're just like, get out of here. Get had the weekend. Yeah, because they've had the weekend. No, but like everyone hates a Monday. I would have thought Friday because they're like loose and looking forward to the weekend. And they're just like, get out of here. Get out of here. Yeah.

Yeah. So the average pass rates for Monday for driving tests was 47.15% compared to Friday's 45.06%. So it's 2% higher on a Monday. It's the pass rate like just below 50%. Yeah. That's bad, eh? That's really bad. It's 2% higher on a Monday. Is the pass rate like just below 50%? Yeah. That's bad, eh? That's really bad.

No, we weren't worrying if the pass rate was 100%. That means that's easy to pass. At least this way, it's kind of a bell curve. Tuesday was the second best day. So the average pass rates on a Tuesday were 46.5. It's only getting worse by the sounds of it. And then, yeah, basically tails off till the end of the week. I don't know if driving test takers are over it by Friday. Over your running red lights.

Do you think it would come up again a bit at Friday because they're just like, eh, it's Friday. Yeah, you'd think so. I mean, there's only really a couple of percent in the Friday and Monday stat. But, yeah, if you're booking, Monday or Tuesday, according to this, out of the UK. Right. Better days. Yeah, gotcha. For, Monday or Tuesday, according to this, out of the UK. Right. Better days.

Yeah, gotcha. For passing that. Gotcha, gotcha.