ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 27th April 2021

Episode Date: April 26, 2021

Top 6: Other Uses for A380  Midnight Snacks  Who takes longer?  Morgan Penn: Sexologist  Am I a Bad Person?!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleets, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's Thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe Coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. I really want to just take this opportunity to say thank you to you both. Okay, why? For not pointing out the whopper on my chin. Oh, we've noticed. The giant pimple.

It's a big old pimp. And it's red its ugly head about a couple of days ago and I went, what the hell is that? It's a big old pimp And it's It's reared its ugly head About a couple of days ago And I went What the hell is that? It's a deep one It's a deep Yeah you can tell And it's got like a

Oh it's got it's own pulse It's got it's own pulse It's taken on life It's Prince Philip It's It's really It's really noticeable And it sort of feels like

It's swelling my entire chin And I just You know I don't wear a lot of makeup And I feel like you guys just really didn't bring it up. I had not. To be honest, I have kept knocking it on the mic and being like, it hasn't reddened up enough. But I reckon spend the day absolutely squeezing it when it's not ready. And then five minutes later, give it another squeeze. I know it looks a little ready.

No, it's not ready. I reckon it's ready. It's not ready. I'm going to little ready No it's not ready I reckon it's ready It's not ready I'm going to go home And give it a hoon But then I'm worried Because then we go to the gym afterwards And you can't wear makeup to the gym

So if I go home And make it look redder Yeah It's going to be terrible Give it a steam It's funny Because people will be like Shut up

She's got one pimple I'm having a moan about it But I used to have terrible acne And I went on Accutane And every time I get a single pimple I'm like it's back The's back. The acne's back. The acne's back. It's back-ny. I feel like it's got its own

personality. Like I feel like it's drawn to the mic. Keeps wanting to be like, you're one up. I'm in charge now. I'm coming up from under, bitch. Okay, well good luck. Thanks. Do you want me to video it?

No No Could be some hot online content Some people would Well I mean to be fair Dr Pimple Popper has more followers than us Feeling it There's juice in there

Yeah maybe you need it Not ready When you get a headache You might reach for your Panadol, your paracetamol, your ibuprofen. Does the doctor ever give you a giant box of pennies? Yes, she does. Yeah, so cheap.

You've got to be careful how you're saying that, mate. Or a giant box of pennies. Panadols. Oh, okay, right. No, because you always need one for a hangover or the odd headache. I ask for anything. Like hay fever tablets, get that on prescription. Oh, okay. Right, right, right. No, because you always need one for a hangover or the odd headache. I ask for anything. Like hay fever tablets, get that on prescription. Oh, yeah.

Get a big box. Panties, neuries, all of the lot. Right. So when you've got a headache, that's your go-to, right? You might think, oh, I haven't had enough water. I need a Panadol. I need a Neurofen. Yeah.

Brain experts have now said what you might need. Is put the drugs down. Put the drugs away. Yeah. Put the drugs down. Put the drugs away. Put the drugs down because all you need is a blooming good orgasm. Did we know this already? I mean, I was. Did hungover us know this already? I feel like this is something we've all exercised for a long time.

Wake up with the dryest bit of a headache. So you have a drink and you go back to sleep for a little bit. Yeah. So basically what. Producer Jarrah, he was nodding in agreement. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like a mid-sleep, you know. It's actually very straightforward.

Right. Having an orgasm. The big O. Now this is science speaking. This is science speaking This is science speaking I'm speaking on behalf of science And it's my privilege to do so Having an orgasm releases serotonin

Which is the so called happy hormone Yeah Which people who have frequent migraines Are often low in Right So if you give yourself a good old dose of the serotonin Can you also get serotonin How else can you get serotonin?

Exercise. Exercise, yes. So going out and, yeah, but that's effort. Oh, no, no, endorphins. That's endorphins. I think it's serotonin as well. How do you get serotonin? Isn't it?

Exercise is a whole lot of them. Right. Okay, I've Googled. How do you get serotonin? Naturally. Food. You can't directly get serotonin from food, but you can get triothafan, an amino acid that's converted to serotonin in the brain. Exercise, bright light, supplements, massage, and mood induction.

That's masturbating, isn't it? So masturbation and some sunshine. Could you do it in the sunshine? I mean, probably not if you live suburbanly and you haven't got a tall fence. Yeah, I think that's at your own discretion. Your lifestyle block would be great. Absolutely.

Perfect place for a paddock play with yourself. So they did this test in Israel on this as well. Okay. And two men were... Where's this going? Where's this going? Where's this going? Two men were side by side in the case. Where's this going?

In the case were side by side. Why did they put them in a case? Don't take me so literally. One of them had an orgasm and his headache immediately disappeared. It was said immediately disappeared. Because he had to start worrying about the fact that people were watching him. Yeah, but what this study is also proving is that you don't have to have a full-blown sexual experience to have this,

be it with someone or yourself. Right. You can even just have a cuddle. Oh, I thought you were going to say one of those ones where you call it off halfway through because it's not happening. So oxytocin, which is called the love hormone, that gets released when you hug somebody. And that can also help headaches. Just getting back to the scientific study, this is just based on two guys standing in a field.

They've studied more than two guys, haven't they? Yes, they have. Okay, good. This was just one little case study, but this is a bigger exploration. So, look, if you've got a wee migraine or even just a wee niggle in the head. And maybe you're out of Panadol. You're out of Panadol. Hop in the sack.

Sure. We can figure the rest out. Get down with your bad self. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Now, look, it's an unavoidable thing. Chores, tasks. Yep. Logistical life that we all have to deal with. And every couple, whether we're young or we're old or we've been together for a short time, a long time,

rich, poor, whatever, as a couple you always face these chores day to day. And who's doing what? And who is doing what is the question up for debate here. Because look, I hate to say it, but women, we've stuffed this up because it used to be very clear. The woman did the chores. And then you went and muddied the water.

Oh, we'd like to drive a car. And we're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We're all greedy. And then we're like, you have a job. I want a job now. We think we should have a say in who governs the country. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Well, we should have a say In who governs the country Hey hey hey hey hey hey Well

I'd like to say Before women were given the vote There was no world wars I'll say it There was no war involving Every nation on earth Things were clearer They were so clear

I don't think a woman's Ever started a war though Have they a world war They've been in his ear though Haven't they Yeah they have Bomb them Take Poland

Oh yeah yeah, yeah. So, yeah, we have. I just really feel this needs in this 2021 where I could be set upon by Twitter. I want to feel. I was really joking there. That was really sarcastic. No woman has thought of the war. It doesn't matter. Soundbites exist.

We just take the bit we want, pop it up online, cancel. And then I'm done. Anyway, but now that things are more complicated, we're doing everything. I am also kidding for the record. It's more complicated. The lines aren't as clear as to who should do what. And people are always trying to do a 50-50.

In a modern relationship, you'll often find 50-50 is the way that people are trying to go. If I'm cooking, you're cleaning. If I'm picking up the kids from school, you're dropping them off in the morning. That kind of thing. But life sometimes gets in the way of that and it always tends to fall on someone else's shoulders. And that can lead to a lot of animosity, a lot of arguing about who's doing the lion's share. So here's some ideas from a relationship counselor.

Okay. In terms of how to get that perfect 50-50 split. This is good because I do the vast majority of stuff at my house. The cat Murray does nothing. Nothing? I've seen him. You are being taken for a ride by Murray. I am. I've said you deserve better

and he seems to do nothing. I know he just attacks the couch, attacks me. I walked in to your place and he was licking his penis. I was like, come on. When you were vacuuming, you were cleaning. I know. He was licking himself. He was playing with himself on the couch.

Well, look, here's some tips for you and your cat or me and Aaron or you and Sade or any couples out there listening. Step number one, they're suggesting that you list the tasks. List the tasks that actually have to be done because research shows that men and women consistently overestimate how much housework they actually do. I do everything around here. I did this. I did this.

Always overestimating it. So what they say is to break down all of the things that need to get done in your life be it banking children all that kind of stuff and actually list it out so you can see who is doing what and you can actually get clear on your ratio because a mate of mine who worked and his wife was a housewife yeah a mother raising kids and stuff so I'm not saying she did nothing yeah but then uh the kids would go to kindy events at the start, but then they went to school, and they did like a chart thing of like their day, and he blanked out his work day,

and he said technically that counts. Wow. Yeah, I mean, you've got to take work into account for sure. But you can't use it in place of your family. Like if it's a crucial thing so your family can survive. I know a guy that carries on like this and it's like, your wife is going to leave you, dude. She's going to get sick of this shit.

You're aging faster than she is. She's going to find some hot young dude who loves doing the dishes and you're screwed. You're screwed. Well, look, it's still, I mean, maybe it's a hangover, but women still believe they do the lion's share. But it's a good way for you to see it, to see what you are actually doing, but also for your partner to see it.

So just because you're out there watering the plants and folding the washing doesn't mean that they're actually aware that you've done that. My wife doesn't consider the outdoor chores I do chores because she thinks I enjoy them too much. See, that's such a thing, though, being like, but you like cooking. And it's like, but I've had such a long day. But you love mowing the lawn. You look so happy when you're on your mower.

Absolutely. I am. How would she feel if the lawn was two foot tall and all the plants were dying from underwatering? She wouldn't like that. No, she wouldn't. Okay, so that's number one. Write down your task. You can actually see it black and white. are we doing who's doing what step number two ask

yourselves what can we simply not do what can we stop doing maybe even maybe even get a cleaner in to do some stuff what my mate does he's just started cohabitating with his girlfriend and he's terrible with girlfriends and so they did the chore wheel but he was like i'm just gonna get a cleaner to do mine yeah and like she's like oh why can't the cleaner wheel, but he was like, I'm just going to get a cleaner to do mine. Yeah. And she was like, well, why can't the cleaner do mine? And he's like, well, the cleaner can do yours, but that means they have to come more often. Well, this is also going like, it's for each individual as well. Like, what can I just stop doing?

What's the word? Like automatically. Right. So sometimes we do things because we think we're expected to within our relationship. And actually no one's put that expectation on you. You've just sort of assumed it. So you can now, you've written down the list.

You can look and be like, well, I cook dinner every night. It's like, well, I'll do that more. I didn't ask you to do that. I thought you enjoyed it. I thought you enjoyed mowing the lawns, but maybe Sade needs to get her ass off the bloody couch and get out there and mow some lawns. I would love to.

It would turn me on endlessly to see her mowing the lawns. Yeah, and then the next step is to ask yourself, which is pretty nice, when you're looking at this list, the list is integral. Which tasks do I want to own? Which ones do I go, I want to mow the lawns.

I want to be in charge of the outside. Okay. And then divvy them up fairly. And then divvy them up fairly. So you're going, I want to be here. Okay. And the final step is,

so you divvy up those things. Ask how you can outsource some others, get a cleaner in. The final one is how can we split the rest? That's just a conversation about going like, look, I don't like taking out the rubbish, but that can be my job. Because you get the rubbish juice on your fingers. And you might say, I don't enjoy raising the children. That can be your job. Should cleaning the wheelie bin out because somebody keeps dropping the bag in without tying it up and so it falls out.

But you're getting petty. You're getting petty. I'm cleaning the bin out when it comes back in because someone complains about the stink. That should count for two or three chores. No, you were leading to an argument with that. You're getting petty. Each chore is worth one point. Oh, God, that's not good.

Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Celebrating the 16th birthday of the A380, but also its demise as two days ago, according to a quick Google News search, the last new A380 started flying. The last new one.

They won't build any more. Emirates. Emirates are pretty much the only airline still running them. They loved an A380. What's one of their main features? I can't tell planes apart. You know, they're the double-decker ones. Oh, yeah, yeah.

They are massive. Have you been on one? Yeah, I think I have. I've been to the ones that have, I think it's Lufthansa that have the downstairs toilets. And you go in and it's like a little room of toilets. Fancy. But I have seen the upstairs onesie before. I think I've been on one.

Yeah, pretty amazing aircraft. They're phenomenal. They're guzzlers, aren't they? Yeah, Emirates is a huge fan. Singapore Airlines, British Airways, Qantas. Those are the primary users. But, yeah, really expensive. A lot of them are parked up in deserts.

Like, have you ever seen the photos of Alice Springs overseas? Like, just nuts. Like car parks. Billions of dollars of airplanes just in the desert. Yeah. So, in this day, in 2005, the Super Jumbo aircraft, the A380, made its first flight in Toulouse in France. But planning for this began in 1990. Yeah, a long time coming.

Because the Boeing 747 was like the dominant super big airplane. There was that Qantas flight that nearly crashed in Singapore. But aside from that, I don't think they've ever had a fatal crash. No, I don't believe so. But the top six uses for the A380 on its 16th birthday, now that the airlines aren't using them as much. They're scrapping them. They're scrapping them.

Number six, a tunnel. Dig a hole in the ground. That makes sense. Cut the front and the back off. Yep. Pop it in the ground. Put the dirt over the top. You've described a bunker almost.

Yeah. An A380 bunker. Because then you don't need to cut the front and the back off. You could just bury the top tunnel. Well, you've described a bunker almost. Yeah. Yeah. An A380 bunker. Because then you don't need to cut the front and the back off. You could just bury the whole plane. How much dirt on top do you reckon it would take before it would have a wee crumple? Well, it's made to take the pressures of high altitude, so I reckon it could take a little bit of weight. Yeah. Designed for the strength.

Maybe a foot of dirt and then some nice lawn. Yeah. You'd never know there was an A380. You'd never know. A couple of air holes so you can get some oxygen down there. Imagine what you'd see out the windows, the little windows. Worms. Lots of worms. Every window's an ant farm.

Ooh. I'm into this. No, I don't like that. You're surrounded by ants. That's creepy. They'll find a way in. Number five on the list of the top six uses for the A380 on its 16th birthday, a new display at Motat. If they're just getting rid of them, zhuzh out Motat. In fact, you could probably fit Motat in the entire A380 on its 16th birthday a new display at Motat. If they're just getting rid of them, zhuzh up Motat. In fact, you could probably fit

Motat in the entire A380. Probably could. I was going to say, is there enough space at Motat? No, well now there is because we're putting everything inside. Yeah. And plus the front of it

could just like sit in that lake at Western Springs. Yeah. You know. Get out of the way, ducks. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six uses

For the A380 On it's 16th birthday Water pipes Oh yeah Big ones Like big water pipes Like a culvert even Yep

So like if you need to Bridge a substantial River Or dam Or like a sewer Kind of Yeah And you put it

Cut the front and the end off I'm a big fan of Cutting the front and the end off The plane Take the seat out Plop it in there Cover it with. And you put it, cut the front and the end off. I'm a big fan of cutting the front and the end off the plane. Yeah, like tubular suggestions. Plop it in there, cover it with dirt, and you've got yourself a new crossing. Number three on the list of the top six uses for the A380 on its 16th birthday, the housing shortage solver.

Oh, yeah. It takes so long to build a house, it doesn't take long to dump an A380. Just in the suburb. Yeah. And then have like four or five townhouses, and you've got to share a toilet and stuff. But I'm not here to solve all your problems. Or just put all business class seats in. That's like a good couple of hundred people.

Yeah. I guess you could call that also an Airbnb. Because it's an aeroplane. Gosh, we love working with you. On the last year. It's the stuff that keeps it going, keeps it fresh. Number two on the list of the top six uses for the A380 on its 16th birthday. How about a new Harbour Bridge crossing?

Oh, my God, yes. Drive through the A380 one way, one line each way. So is this another case of cutting the top and bottom? Cutting the front end off, but welding it together. Yeah. To another one. Good idea. Getting a weld going and getting But welding it together. Yeah. To another one. Good idea.

Getting a weld going and getting across that harbour. Okay. And number one on the list of the top six uses for the A380 on its 16th birthday. This is basically how you can throw rubbish into the ocean legally. You say it's going to be a diving attraction. Yes. You find a bit of ocean. I've watched a guy throw a plane in and then you're like, that's a diving attraction.

Like an underwater world. I watched a guy diving in an old plane a few weeks ago on YouTube and it was amazing. Oh, spooky. I don't like it.

It just kind of makes me feel a bit like, is your underwater world also enclosed? Yeah. If something goes wrong, you're stuck in there. No, but they took

heaps of seats out so it was quite open in there. Right. But then they also had a skeleton buckled into one of the seats. What? As like a joke.

Are you sure? Or is that an actual dead person? No, it's definitely a fake skeleton. Well, that seems like a great way to get rid of the dead body is all I'm saying. Yeah. Oh, no, that's a fake skeleton that the fish are picking the skin and bones off. Yeah. Oh, mate.

So that is. What about just, I'll offer one. Please do. You know, remember the McDonald's restaurant that was in High? Yeah, the Toe Pore still has the DC. Yeah, and there's another place that has one. We'll just get a few more McDonald's, I think is what we need. Totally do that.

That would be easy peasy. That is today's top six. Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night from a restful slumber to find that you are starving? You're utterly gagging for food. Sometimes. I eat a lot during the day, so I think my body needs a rest. Yeah.

Well, it's the occasional midnight snack, maybe, when you go, I don't know, for some reason I just haven't eaten enough today. But actually, if you are waking up constantly, according to scientists, if you're waking up constantly in the middle of the night to eat some food, or you're really, really hungry, it could be the sign that there's something bigger at play here. Because our hunger levels, obviously, they're regulated by the circadian rhythm. You know the circadian rhythm? It's the body's natural sort of sleep pattern. It knows not to be hungry in the middle of the night

because we wouldn't usually be eating there. It's all primal stuff. It goes right back to... We couldn't go hunting, right? We couldn't go hunting in the night so we wouldn't get hungry in the night. So if you're getting up, it's probably worth investigating

beyond your usual midnight snack. So here's some of the reasons why you might be waking up. Yeah. Waking up a bit hungry. First reason, you're not eating enough during the day. So that we've established is not an issue for you. That's not an issue for me, no. You go to bed absolutely stuffed to the brim.

But then sometimes if I'm being real healthy and like stuffed, I might go to bed and I'll be like, oh, maybe I haven't eaten enough. But then I just, you go to sleep and you wake up and you're fine. Sleep it off. Yeah. What about you, Vaughn? Do you often go to bed with a gurgly tummy still? No, no, not really.

It's full of potatoes, isn't it, normally? Yeah, absolutely chuckle with potatoes and meat. That's a slow-burning, low GI. Smith loves his spuds and meat situation. They're saying here that, yeah, if you're doing sort of skipping meals or over-exercising, so you need to be putting more calories in, you're not eating enough calories, basically. So your body will wake up and be like, you know what?

I want more. I'm going to need more. Another reason is that you're not getting enough sleep. Sleep deprivation can throw your appetite-regulating hormones, leptin and ghrelin, put them all out of balance, and it makes you reach for particularly high-carb foods. Leptin and ghrelin. Leptin and Grillon. Lollies.

Leptin and Grillon. Weren't they those two twins that ate the old lady's housemate of candy? Yeah, they were. The little breadcrumb trail. Yeah, breadcrumb trail because then your stepmother didn't like them. So you've got to be sleeping good. You've got to be eating enough. Another reason, you're stressed out.

Right. This is triggering me that I haven't been waking up. I'm stressed and not sleeping. Sometimes, yeah, it's not a physical hunger It's some of your body Responding to stress levels It's the same thing, fight or flight Your body wakes up, you might be under attack by a lion or something In your bedroom

In New Zealand And then there's another thing, the final reason is You might have night eating syndrome Which is an actual Disorder that you could have Where eating syndrome, which is an actual disorder that you could have where your body doesn't know how to deal with hunger levels. So it's about 1.5% of the population that have this. Because, yeah, I don't think I've ever gone up in the middle of the night

just to eat. Like, I've been thirsty because I'm maybe a little, I've had a few shandies before bed. Yeah, wake up. But I never, I wouldn't get up and just eat a cold piece of pizza or something in the fridge. No, neither. And then jump straight back into bed and go to sleep.

Yeah, if you couldn't sleep, I'd imagine getting up and having like a hot drink and a little comfort food might be like a cookie. It might be the way. Yeah. Like a cookie or some cake. Yeah. Well, they're saying it won't help you either. If you wake up and start eating, you get heartburn and acid refl. You get all farty and then you're not going back to sleep.

So they say the way to do it is if this is happening regularly, have a snack before you go to bed. Just a little pre-bed snack. Have a little pre-bed snack. Maybe not something too sugary or carbohydrate-y. Because that'll keep you up. Just a well-rounded snack. Maybe some avocado on some almonds and some crackers.

Almonds? You're going to get almonds in your teeth and you'll go back into bed and you'll constantly be like Yeah, when do you brush? Do you do that? I do that with a cup of tea or last night I had a Bailey's before I went to bed. You had a Bailey's before bed? When you got home from bridge?

Aaron was like, I know I got home from recording, have you been paying attention? About 10pm and he was like, do you want a cup of tea? And I was like, no, I want a Bailey's. He brought me a Baileyileys in bed. Then I had to re-brush the teeth. There is a common perception around the world that men spend longer on the loo than the ladies.

Would you say that's true? I'd say for Vaughan it's true. For me, not so much. In and out? I think it's working and radio song. Even when I'm at home, I'm in and out. Oh, so you give yourself one song's worth? I give myself one song in the toilet.

I shan't let employment dictate my pooing. I shan't. Regardless of what job I'm doing. That's why I've just taught my body I don't poo at work. I don't poo in the mornings. I do my pooing later in the piece. You shouldn't, unless you absolutely have to.

Yeah. But an online survey by a bathroom retailer has shown that, well, it's suggesting that men spend up to about 14 minutes a day, a day,

quarter of an hour, I'll call it that. 14 minutes? Compared to women who spend just under 8 minutes a day in the bathroom. Easy. So there's a discrepancy there of 6 minutes difference

between men and women on the toilet. Is there any correlation between men and women and who gets more fibre? There's so, so they go into this about how and why this is and actually the amount of fibre intake between men and women is different and actually women take longer to digest food and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

and all that kind of stuff. But what it comes down to is actually what we're doing on the toilet. So it's not actually what we're putting into the toilet, but how are we spending our time on the toilet? Playing sandballs. Exactly. You love a game. I love a mobile game for the toilet playing sandballs exactly you love a game i love a mobile game for the toilet it's the only time i play mobile games on the toilet so for the

for example men are more likely to read on the toilet than women now i've never understood this when i've seen a man go into the bathroom with a newspaper oh my granddad always took the newspaper in and sat there and took the newspaper it's bad for until he finished the newspaper. It's bad for you. Yeah, it's really bad for you. The doctor told me that your weight is predominantly in the middle and it's stretching out and it can cause hemorrhoids and all sorts of things. For instance, a study of almost 500 adults in Israel found that two-thirds of them read on the toilet regularly.

Yeah, that'd be the couscous. This has triggered some alarm bells, because I think we talked about this maybe a year or so ago, and I've Googled, and I have found some news stories from the time. Clinicaltrials.gov, medicaldaily.com, other news links, linking prolonged sitting with hemorrhoid use and smartphones. Hemorrhoid use and smartphones. I'm just sorry about that. Smartphone use causing hemorrhoids use and smartphones. Hemorrhoid use and smartphones. I'm just sorry.

Smartphone use causing hemorrhoids, I should say. Yes. So, yeah, the longer you sit there, the more pressure it is. Yeah. And if you sit there for long enough that you're reading a novel, for God's sake, it can lead to hemorrhoids and anal fissures because you're relaxed for so long. How do they get up there from the ocean?

Oh, boy. I think that sounds like an excuse. How did this fish get up there, sir? I've been sitting on the toilet too long. I must have swum up the sewer and just leapt out of the water and up my anal. A fissure, not a fish. Oh, a fissure. Also, I don't get why people do things like games and read and the stink in the toilet and it's not the place.

In this busy day and age, often the toilet, a little bit of toilet time is the only time you get to yourself. Especially with a family. With kids. Well, it's not because they bang on the door, but you can lock it and you're like, I'm pooing. And then they're like, you're taking for ages. And you're like, why do you think I'm taking for ages? Well, experts are

recommending the SIN approach. S, six minutes on the toilet maximum. Time yourself. Okay. E, enough fibre. Eat enough so you're not trying so hard. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, they're doing me wrong.

There's no straining when I'm sitting there. Give yourself a bit of support. And N, no straining. No straining. SIN. Good, good. There we go. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. Well, as the vaccines get around and the world starts opening up again, we're getting a lot of lockdown stats. And one of them is adult content. In the UK specifically, this specific stat saw a 27% increase. Adult videos. Well, there's nothing else to do. You're stuck at home.

Yes. Yeah. You might find yourself watching. But if you've got a partner, should this be a worry, I'm here to discuss the topic. Morgan Penn, good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

How do they get these stats? Why are people not using incognito mode? No, because incognito mode hides what you've been looking at from other users of that device, but your internet service provider and the people who are hosting this adult content can still see all of the details. I'm just going to let that one sink in for a little bit.

Take five minutes on that. Sure. So sexologist Morgan Penn, should people be worried about their partners looking at adult content? It really is dependent on how and why they're doing it. I mean, I get it through lockdown. People are a lot more lonely.

They're depressed. They are wanting a dopamine hit, which is actually what we get when we look at things like that and we are stimulating the body at the same time. It does start to release feel-good feelings. However, the issue comes in when partnered sex is no longer regular or satisfactory.

So it's at the loss of that partner sex. It's at the detriment. Yes, if you know that the person is still watching this adult content. Right. So they're spending more time with themselves watching this stuff as opposed to investing in some contact. Yeah, and a lot of people think, oh, it's totally fine, but this is the thing that's actually being normalized in some contact. Yeah and a lot of people think oh it's totally fine but this is

the thing it's actually being normalized in our society. What happens in these moments though is that because of neuroplasticity we can always form new neural pathways from our brain to our body. This is why we can drive on autopilot. We can get in the car and we can arrive somewhere and we can't even remember driving there right. This is what happens if we watch a lot of this adult content and it's the same thing we're making a new neural pathway of what turns us on the pathway to arousal changes and so yeah you might say oh no i love my natural looking partner but actually they're seeing something different every day and that is changing in their brain what their arousal pattern is wow wow that haven't thought of it like that but that makes sense i mean i'm sure some people might search for specifics around the way that people look yep um you know and and it's typically wouldn't usually be what you've already got

would it no and and it is a great thing to explore kinks and fetishes and different things and yeah get a taste of what you may not be getting served up every night um and i would say i suppose if you are indulging in this kind of content is to keep it fresh keep changing it up so you don't kind of get stuck on this one thing that leads to the main thing that turns you on right why are you smiling at me and i'm just saying there are lots of categories there are a lot of categories for everybody and then there's subcategories within the categories and then you can put keyword searches in there. And then if you don't get a variety, the only thing that turns on is when your partner is stuck somewhere.

Or in a taxi. Yeah. You know, that's why you don't want to get, right. What about the idea of you having your private time and exploring some things online that you may like, what about then the idea of bringing that to your partner as hey I've been watching this and it's something that I would like to try fantastic I'm a big advocate for that a lot of people don't even know what they really like

sexually so sometimes porn can be a really good modality to go to and see what does turn you on and then if you can bring that to your partner, it's very inclusive, you know? And that's the thing that I don't like about adult content is that it can become secretive and shameful. And that's when we're on the downward spiral. Well, there are those partners that say, oh, my partner doesn't look at that stuff. Yes, they do. Of course he doesn't.

Especially in long-term relationships, you might not have ticked all the boxes before you got into this relationship Of things you wanted to try So that could be a way of Checking it out I'm not talking about specifics Around my own search words

But you know I understand that that is the way that they can explore it Without actually going out and exploring it without their partner. Yes. And discover, this is something I like, and then decide whether or not they want to share that. Absolutely, yeah. How much would you say, or is it a number, is too much? Like, how much would be too much to be watching?

Yeah, that is a really hard one. But I would say if you're watching more than an hour a day, that's probably your measure there. And also, I guess, yeah, if it's coming in, getting in the way of work or partnered sex. Well, it sounds that's like all addictions, right? That's when an addiction becomes problematic, is when it's affecting your ordinary avenues of life. Spot on.

Right. And that's when it becomes problematic. Right. And we're lucky we're not in North Korea because watching adult content you can be put to death. Yes, you can. What? Just for having... Okay.

Yeah, for watching that. Wow. How many times did you have died this week that would have sent you to death? At least a couple. Well, if I was a cat, I'd be toast. Couldn't afford all of your funerals. No, God no. How would you recommend, if you have noticed that your partner

is maybe visiting these websites and you're not quite sure how to bring it up with them, how would you recommend approaching that subject of, hey, why are you watching so much of this? It's not that you're watching it, it's that you're watching it too much, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so it's really about timing and the situation where you actually so not mid video no no booting open the door

get that out of your hand yeah yeah and so when you're feeling confident as well so when you're not feeling hurt by maybe this discovery or feeling a bit dejected come into it and with an open heart and we just need to be really curious instead of aggressive or like accusatory want to be curious be like hey I have noticed that this is something you're doing quite a bit I'm feeling like things are lacking a bit in our sex life what's going on for you what can we do to make this better together it It's a, you know, like you said, it's a more talked about and socially acceptable thing for people to engage in these days.

So there's always going to be like tricky things to navigate as we sort of accept that it might be more of a part of our life. Yeah, and I think, you know, we've had these sites for a long time now and maybe it's about, you know, there's some beautiful ethical adult sites that are pumping out some beautiful content. And maybe it's about we start supporting those people

so that they're getting paid better. We feel better. A lot of the stuff that is out there, like 80% is aggressive to women, which is not healthy for people to be seeing. For sure. So yeah, there are different avenues and healthier ways of doing this.

Maybe if we go back to lockdown, you can make some of your own. OnlyFans is booming. I don't think my OnlyFans would boom. They're very niche. I think you're a beer daddy. I think you could make a lot of money

from that actually. It's a flooded market. I wouldn't be able to watch my back though and edit it. I'd be like a bear daddy. I think you could make a lot of money from that, actually. That's a flooded market. I wouldn't be able to watch my back, though, and edit it. I'd be like, oh, God. Winsley's Mills opening up again. Yeah, just post it. Morgan Penn, you can go to morganpenn.co.nz, Penn with two Ns, and a certified sexologist. Thank you so much for coming in.

Always a pleasure. You're so welcome. Thank you. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Being handsy makes you more memorable. You're so welcome. Thank you. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Being handsy makes you more memorable. By that I mean. Well, yeah, in a lot of ways.

By that I mean using your hands to gesture. It's called gesticulation. I'm pretty big on this, I think. Am I? I know you are, Hayley. I'm big time big on this. Oh, handsy sprout. Yeah, since you've been filling in for Megan, I notice you're all like,

big hands. And usually I wear a number of bracelets, and I've had to take them off for this job, because otherwise jingle jangle all morning long. I don't know what it is, but when I went to drama school, they tried to beat it out of me, because you don't want every character you play to be this gesticulating mess. But yeah, I'm big in that.

And so when I'm acting, I'll always try to have hands in pockets, something in my hand to play with a bit of food or something like that. Right. Because I'm waving my hands

left, right and centre. Do you know who's big? So what is the study saying? That you're more memorable. That you seem to stick around in people's minds a little bit longer. Is it because you're literally

smearing an image onto their brain? Yeah, I guess so. You know who's big, who springs to mind? Jacinda. Jacinda, I do, and our Prime Minister. Very, like when she's doing one of those podium. Yeah, they're very sympathetic hands.

Yeah. They're always like open and opening. And then the hands together. Yeah. Let's all five million, let's do it together. You don't see her Aggressively like Ripping a finger

Yeah Slipping the old See how good she is At that sort of Aggressive nature You never see her Doing the old Bloods up sign

No Yeah Or the free punch Yeah Got you That shit was weak So apparently It's why politicians

Use a lot But no pointing because pointing's naughty and rude That politicians do that finger thing Barack Obama's really good at I remember there was a story about how he bends his Finger over So it's less confrontational And it's why people

In countries such as Italy Which is apparently the most gesticulating country in the world, are engaging to watch and memorable. And that's right, because I met an Italian once, and I've never forgotten him. Okay. He was on a mission to save a princess, going from castle to castle,

giving up his job as a plumber, which is a great trade to have. Yeah, it's a solid trade. Yeah, he's left his brother to it, which is a lot to leave on a family member. But later on, his brother also helped out a little bit. But I'll never forget him. Kept going to castle.

Oh, no, she's not here anymore, mate. And he'd be like, oh, mamma mia, mamma mia. And he'd go to the next castle. On and on and on and on. Eventually found the princess. Rescued her. Unforgettable fella. What was his name?

Mario? Mario. Mario. Yeah, Mario, I believe was his name. Really great guy. So if you want to stick around in people's minds a little bit more, if people are often saying, oh, I forgot about you, that must be hard to take.

Do you think in a job interview, if you were like, I really love this job, and you're waving your hands around? Well, the thing is, they're not saying it's remembering them positively. No. They might remember you because you gesticulated and then you accidentally whacked them in the face with your long limbs like me. So you still can't be obnoxious and annoying. Yeah, right.

But it's a way to be remembered. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Refund your date. Well, we've been taking your nominations, your registrations for your horrible dates, the dates that you require a refund for because you wasted your hard-earned money on somebody. On an absolute dead end.

Yeah, exactly, a dead end. Anonymous joins us. Good morning. Hi. Oh, no. Okay, so, and this is why.onymous joins us. Good morning. Hi. Oh, no. Okay, so, and this is why I love this. We get to hear all these amazing stories. Anonymous, tell us about this date that you went on.

So I met this guy on Tinder, and I probably met him that morning, and then I think we went on a date like that day. Oh, wow, okay. Yeah, he was caught up straight away because his story was that he was moving back from overseas and like he was just trying to find a job and then going to pack up and, you know, pack up his life overseas and whatnot. And I was like, okay, this sounds all quite plausible. Yeah.

And the date went really well. Like he was like a really lovely guy. We instantly planned to catch up for a chicken date. It was all going fine. I think a few days later, we were still messaging and whatnot. I just was on Facebook. And I think because our numbers had connected, that he was coming up with a friend request or a friend option.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That happens. I also wonder if you stalk people, do they then get a friend, like a... Didn't somebody tell us once if you search their name twice, you will pop up as a person they might know? Oh, okay. All right. I think I didn't do the stalking, I promise.

Right. And then so you, what, did you click on his profile? Yeah, well, I didn't even have to do that because his girlfriend was in his profile picture. Okay, wow. And so then I did click on that and it was like, they're celebrating their four-year anniversary. And I was like, oh my God. God, that is something.

So I was a few wines deep at the end of the day, and I was talking to some friends, and I'd just been through a few situations with friends that they'd had previous partners that had cheated on them and things like that, and they were like, you need to tell this girl. And I was like, oh, I don't know. This is not my business.

I feel like I shouldn't. And then, well, we did. Did you? And what did she say? She was so lovely Initially I just thought that she might just I don't know the circumstances But she was just so lovely She was initially obviously quite confused

Because I just was like hey Totally random, she said to me by messenger Straight away And then I just had sent her a few screenshots. I think what made it really worse was that he had been on the phone to her when she had received my message. Oh, my gosh. And do you know if they stayed together?

No, they didn't. Because she had messaged me a few times just asking for detail and stuff. He tried to add me as a friend on Facebook, and I was just like, no, I want to stay out of it. I already did. Oh, wow. Because there's always the thing, it's like, is it your place to tell another person? Yeah.

You know? Yeah. Oh, I don't know. But then a friend of mine had had that happen. She said no one told me, but a lot of people knew. Yeah, I guess you'd have to ask yourself, would I want to be told? Yeah, and you would, wouldn't you? I would, yeah. Yeah, I guess you'd have to ask yourself, would I want to be told? Yeah, and you would, wouldn't you?

I would, yeah. Yeah, save your time. What a bloody web. What a nightmare. You wasted some money on this date. How much are you requesting for a refund? I think $30, also just for my time. Oh, $30.

I think that's the cheapest refund you've ever done. God, that's far too cheap. You should have said that you went somewhere. You've got to value your time more, girlfriend. I could say $50. That'd be done. That's far too cheap. You should have said that you went somewhere. I could say 50. Like, that'd be great. 50. 50.

We'll do 50. We absolutely wasted your time and hers. Exactly. congratulations. We're refunding your date $50. Thank you.

Flesh, fauna, Megan, the podcast, ZM. Am I a bad person? Am I a bad person? Am I a bad person? Generally, if you have to ask,

the answer is probably yes. But it's a segment of the show where we hear from you. You're like, maybe I am a bad person. Maybe I am not. You put to us the predicament, the situation. And we open it up to the listeners.

We hear from them. Maybe they've had an experience that they could liken to the situation. They've been on the other end of it. And that's a different perspective, isn't it, that maybe you haven't thought about? The nation really is the jury here. Now, Hayley, you have the message that we have received. I do.

Received from Anonymous. It says, hi, guys. I resent that already. I think that's a non-gender specific guy. That's like, hi, guys. Oh, I read it differently.-gender specific guy. Hi guys. Hi guys. I'm feeling really confused about what I should do after my boyfriend betrayed me on a night

out. I've just found out that on the weekend he went and he had a private lap dance. I thought he was just on a night out with his mates and had no idea he would even walk into a strip club. One of his mates' girlfriends found out and told me women supporting women so i confronted him about it and he's profusely apologizing he said he feels really bad was just feeling disconnected from me lately

and that his mates kind of pressured him into it i see it as cheating and have made him move out while i decide what to do next am i a bad person and overreacting for considering this as cheating and have made him move out while I decide what to do next. Am I a bad person and overreacting for considering this as cheating? Signed Anonymous. I'm going to chime in here. Yeah, please, you lead the charge. I do not see it as

cheating. Is that because you've had a few hens nights on the other side of things? I've had a few hens nights. And it's all a bit of a laugh. I mean, it's, I don't know. I don't think she's a bad person for reacting in this way. We're all entitled to our feelings on the back of something that you feel betrayed for. But I think that he was just out for the night. It's just a night out with the lads. It's just a night out with the lads.

It's just a night out with the lads and a lap dance. It didn't go any further. That's when I would go, you know, how far did it go? Yeah. A, I'm too cheap to pay for lap dances. And then I think the particular details in here that we should note had a private lap dance. Yes. In the private room.

In the private room. So that's not one of those sort of, ooh, here we all are as a group and someone's gyrating on me. That makes it worse, doesn't it? It does, actually. If it was in a group, it wouldn't be as bad. No, no, exactly. If everyone was watching, it wouldn't be as bad.

They're sharing the guilt, aren't they? Even though distributing the guilt. But if you're one-on-one in a private room. And the fact that he said, I've been feeling disconnected from you lately. That's the trigger point for me. He's kind of admitting some kind of guilt here, as in, I did this because we're not. Yeah, there was an emotional signaling there, versus just being there and living in the moment and doing it,

and just being like, oh wow, that was silly. That was a bit of silly fun. He needs a bit of connection. He does. Maybe give him a lap dance. He could give you a lap dance. You could give him a lap dance. Lap dance for lap dance.

He got a lap dance, he has to give a lap dance. You could get whoever gave him the lap dance to come to your house and you both lap dance for her. So we're not asking if he's a bad person. We're asking if she's a bad person for overreacting. She is asking us, am I bad for overreacting? Her action was to, he's moved out while she's deciding what to do about this. Am I a bad person, they ask, for overreacting and considering this as cheating.

The guy that got a lap dance when he was unsupervised is now unsupervised 24-7. Very good point. I would get him back in the house ASAP. cheating. The guy that got a lap dance when he was unsupervised is now unsupervised 24-7. Very good point. I would get him back in the house ASAP. Dog box him. No doubt about it. Yep. Keep a watchful eye. So you can see what he's up to. So she's not saying, is he a bad person for doing it? Is she a bad person? Is she overreacting? Yeah.

That's the question. Okay. Well, maybe you've been in this situation. What should she do? Maybe you've got some advice. 0800 DALESATM. You can text as well. 9696. Is she a bad person for overreacting,

kicking him out of the house because he had a private lap dance? Private. I mean, I think she can still be angry. Maybe don't kick him out. Maybe that was a bit too far.

Yeah, it's a big gesture to say get out. Like the spare room or the couch. Sure. And you're on dishes. Yeah.

All right. Tell us what you think. 0800-DANCE-IT-IN. Well, it's am I a bad person and somebody wondering if they're a bad person for overreacting to a lap dance. A private lap dance. At a partner who receives it a stag do. Yeah. Hmm.

Some text messages in. She needs to chill out. Let him have his lad's time. Oh, lad's time. That sounds like it came from a lad. This is definitely cheating. These things happen. But he could have come home and come clean about it straight away.

What about he could have texted her before it happened? Hey, I'm about to get sat on. And juggled around and tiraded about on. Is this all right? Yeah. Yeah. And somebody said, I don't think she's overreacting. Thank God the mate's girlfriend had your on. Is this alright? Yeah. Yeah. And somebody said, I don't think she's overreacting.

Thank God the mate's girlfriend had your back. It's good to know these things. He would never have told you. Yeah, alright. We'll keep your texts coming in. Yeah, 9696. So we're going to take

some calls on it next. Is she a bad person? Am I a bad person? Well, if you've just joined us, a quick recap. I received an email from someone asking if they are a bad person for overreacting

to the fact that their boyfriend had a private lap dance. They've kicked them out of the house. She's asked, am I bad for overreacting? So, we want to know from you. Is she a bad person? Lana, what do you think? Is she a bad person? Yeah, absolutely.

I think she's completely overreacting. She made him move out out Okay, do you think Would you still be angry at the boyfriend for the private lap dance? Um, not really Because he's been apologising I mean, if he wasn't apologetic, then sure Yeah He also didn't sleep with her, did he?

It was a lap dance Well, with the information we have He didn't sleep with her also she had no information until the girlfriend found out and told her so it's not like he admitted to it when he got home but what do you but if you go out to the strip the strip club do you rush home to chate and be like hey we're gonna lap dance yeah what do you just let it sound so i'd be someone else paid for it because there's no way i'd pay for it. So definitely overreacting, Lana? Yeah, 100%.

All right, thanks for your call. Anonymous, what do you think? Is she a bad person for overreacting? Well, I think so, a little bit. I've actually done this with the boys, lads, lads, lads kind of thing. So every time we'd go out, yeah, every time we'd go out Yeah, every time we'd go out We would go and then, you know Pop into the old bar

Every time Do our own private thing And I've since come clean with my partner And I can tell you The benefit of revealing that The exploits in bed have been Have marginally increased I like how scientifically you've approached this.

Honesty is key. The exploitations in the room of sexual exploration have dramatically increased. So you think that she is a bad person and that she's overreacting? I do believe so. I think maybe there could be better communication between the two couples, but

I've not wanted to comment on other ones. It's like a therapist now, isn't it? Yeah. Dropping the big words. Anonymous, thank you for your call. Jess, what do you think? Is she a bad person for overreacting? Oh, my gosh.

Not a bad person at all. Okay, so you're like she is absolutely justified in kicking him out. Lap dance privately is a no-go. Yeah, absolutely. I'd be furious if it was me. Like, the only reason he's apologising now is because he was caught. She needs to dump him.

Yeah. Have you ever gone to a hen's night, Jess, and got close to a stripper? Well, no. Not when I've been in a relationship. Ooh. Same, same, Jess. They arrive and you're like,

well, I've got to leave now. I am a taken woman. I will enjoy it from afar. Yeah. Okay, so not a private lap dance, I've got to leave now. I am a taken woman. I will enjoy it from afar. Okay, so not a private lap dance. I've got to move back. I'm worried the stripper will fall in love with me. Yeah. This is always happening at these dance parties.

Even in these COVID times, like private lap dances, is there a perspex screen now? They just smear themselves on. Like, is it even that sexy? On the window. Like when you're a kid and you go out to a window and you go And you're like So they can seal your teeth

Like they're inside one of those money cash winning machines Yes Thank you for your call, do you have some text messages in? Someone says she needs to calm the F down It was just a lappy Pretty sure you aren't even allowed to touch the dancers So it's not like they did the deed She is a bad person and overreacting.

Someone else said there's no there's nothing wrong with it. He needs to be getting more at home by the sounds of it. Someone else said he sounds like a real douchebag. I'd ditch him. That's just as bad as cheating. And someone said I didn't think too much of it until he said he'd felt

distant from her lately and then it just feels like he's on his way out. It's truly the clincher. he's stitched himself up a little bit being kicked out of home will while being kicked out of the house or whatever are being asked to leave that's gonna see if it was space that he wanted right yeah because now he's gonna have it and is he gonna enjoy it he might not come back even if he's asked yeah i'd say I'd say to be, what, 60-40? She's overreacting? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, there's people in both teams, but I think I'm on the overreacting team.

I think I've made my mind. I'm just going to be on whatever team doesn't get me in trouble. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you're like me, you might often find yourself having the most wildest dreams and always be wondering, what does it mean? What does it hold for the future? Well, we have a dream analyst on the phone with us now. Jane, Teresa Anderson, welcome to the show.

Thank you, Hayley. So lovely to have you here. Now, I have to ask, because this is one of those jobs, you see the job title and you think, how did that person get into this? Yeah. How did you find your way into analysing our dreams? It was an unexpected path because I've actually got an honours degree in science.

But in the end, my curiosity with my own dreams got me there. And I set out and I did research with a few hundred people on their dreams. And it all started from there. Wow. Do you have popular dreams or themes that people always ask you to analyze? Yeah. So you can't use a dream dictionary approach for dreams, but there are some kind of common themes that we all have that people ask about. And the reason for that is we're all human beings and we all tend to go through similar things at some stage in our lives. You know, we might go through grief or we might go through building

up our potential or we might go through things coming to an end or whatever. And when those kind of general human themes happen to us, we tend to have similar themed dreams that reflect what's going on for us. Wow. So what's a popular, like, grief dream? Like if someone lost one near and dear to them, what would they kind of dream about? Not necessarily about that person, but what would relate to the grief?

Yeah, that's right. The strange thing is our dreams aren't literal and they don't look like what we're actually posting. So yeah, in terms of losing someone near and dear to us, it can be, and this sounds a bit superficial, but it can be as simple as having a dream that has a high emotion of loss, but it can be about losing your handbag or your way home. Anything that's got a sense of loss, but with an extreme sense of emotion, can be expressing your sense of being lost yourself in your own world, as well as having lost the person well if i draw from that jane i have to ask so i one of my reoccurring themes because i don't have

reoccurring dreams that are the same dream over and over but one of the things that always happens in my dreams is that i'm trying to run or i'm trying to move and i can't you know i'm like stuck in thick mud do you think of those yeah and as you say, the details are always different, but the theme is that. I'd love to ask you one question. How do you feel in that moment when you can't move forward? What's the main emotion that you feel in those dreams? Terrified.

Yeah, like scared. Scared, yeah. So the interpretation does depend on how the dreamer feels, and these dreams are generally about not being able to get where you want to go, obviously. But when you transfer that as a metaphor in your life and say, what is it that I'm trying to achieve or the place I'm trying to go? But I just, I'm sitting way down. I can't quite get there. You know, and in your case, which is common, it's terrified.

It's like, well, what are my fears about my real unconscious fears about where I want to go? Because your dreams show you're unconscious as well. And sometimes it can be, for a lot of us, it can be as simple as, you know what, the places I want to go, the goals I want to achieve in life, unconsciously, I actually don't want to do that. And I want to ask, so just reading a bit about you, you say that having your dreams analyzed with you can help your life,

your day-to-day life, your clarity, lighter, brighter. How does it help you knowing what your dreams might mean? Yeah, well, what your dreams are doing is they're processing the last one to two days of your conscious and your unconscious experiences to try to make sense of your world you know and some people might say oh but there's bits from my past in my dreams and that's correct because your dreams are saying oh the things that I've experienced in the last couple of days that's like when I was three or when I was 15 that would touch back to similar

things and then in an ideal world you wake up your mind is processed all that stuff you've got a clearer view about where you're going in the future so for example hayley in your dream what you can do is you wake up and you close your eyes and you reimagine yourself back in the dream only this time you you can run or you can walk or you can fly and you you just reimagine the opposite and you bring up this emotion of feeling not terrified that you feel but seeing whatever you feel is the opposite, terrified, feeling really good. And by keep visualising the opposite to the dream, you actually begin to reprogram your sense of whatever's holding you back

and be more ready to go to that goal. I feel like what might happen though is that I would realise that actually I just ate a bit of cheese before bed and it made it all kick off. Is that a thing, cheese before bed? And magnesium. Magnesium sprays and pills make you dream crazy.

Yeah, magnesium does, yeah. Food can cause indigestion, can wake us up. It can end up being like you're dreaming that there's a snake coiling around your stomach or something because your physical body is going, ow, ow, in your stomach and your brain's going, what's this like? This is like a snake curling around. So all sorts of things can happen. And so, yeah, to that extent, what you've eaten the night before can come into your dream. But still, if you look at the rest of your dream, you get great insight.

There's still gems to be found in there. I'm going to be terrified going to sleep tonight. There's a snake in my beard. Yeah, same. So when you have a dream that you've gone wheeze and you wake up and for a moment

you're terrified you've wet the beard but it turns out you just really need to go. You dare not move. Fascinating. Fascinating stuff. Jane Theresa Anderson,

dream analyst, writer and mentor. You can go to janetheresa.com if you'd like more info. Thank you so much for talking to us this morning, Jane.

Thank you for having me on the show. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Wow, that is some beautiful, romantic music. Well, I thought, you know, you had the 10 questions for, you know, like an online dating match. Yeah, 10 questions to ask your dating match to get to know them faster. Apparently, we are taking too long to fall in love. And also, people ask the same things.

Like, you know, what do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? Do you play any sports? Yeah. What does your family do? Well, if you're in Christchurch on What do you do? Do you play any sports? Yeah. What does your family do? If you're in Christchurch on a dating app, what school did you go to?

Yeah, totally. What was your start at Pokemon? Yeah. So apparently all these fluffy little questions, they don't actually help you get to know a person quick enough. So a relationship therapist and a dating app have collaborated and come up with 10 questions or prompts that you can give your dating app match. Okay. Number 10. Who's your guilty celebrity crush?

Oh. That tells us something about the person. But then why should you feel guilty about it? It tells them, well, I guess like, who would you shag if we don't end up being a thing? Right. And then also might be setting an unrealistic expectation

and make you feel bad that you're not as hot as them. But it tells you, this is about cutting to the chase as quickly as possible. It tells us something about their projections and preferences,

reveals what they desire. And then like, six months into the relationship when you have an argument, she can throw it in your face while saying, it's like that time you said you wanted to sleep with Kendall Jenner. Yeah, exactly. Okay, number nine. What's something you just don't understand

the hype about? That's a good question. Something that's in the zeitgeist, like what is something like that? It reveals their character and whether or not they're an independent thinker. Yeah, right. I like that none of us could find, oh yeah, okay.

I don't get the hype about Bridgerton. And they'll be like, oh, why not? And be like, I thought the sex scenes were a bit boring. And then they'll be like, oh, spicy, spicy, let's go home. Okay, number eight. What's the worst lie you've ever told to get out of a date? Brilliant. Yeah, that gives them an opportunity to reveal their true colours.

Number seven. Craziest thing on your bucket list. Oh, that's good. I think that's good. It also builds some tension, you know, around the future. Would someone else be involved in this bucket list? You're throwing a body off a cruise ship. And then that way they know know don't do a cruise with

this guy yeah yeah yeah especially when i'll do it when i'm older yeah yeah sure uh number six what's the one embarrassing moment that keeps you up at night that's revealing throwing the body off a cruise ship and that's also um revealing a bit of your vulnerability too which might make you endearing to them. Yeah, absolutely. And if you close up, you know, and you're someone who needs that kind of communication, maybe that'll give you a sign that this person's not for you. Number five, what three words would your closest friends use to describe you?

I mean, that's just an opportunity to have a little brag because they're not there, are they? Yeah. Vaughn, how would you describe me? A cruise ship murderer. Oh, no, wait. I'm just really stuck on that cruise ship thing. Yeah.

Three words. Caring. Impatient. No, not caring. Not caring. Impatient. Impatient. Yep.

Selfish. And human. Wow. Pretty strong on the third word there. Thank you. Very stuff out of it there. Yeah. Number four. Tell me. Oh, this one is a big ask tell me a secret no one else knows oh that's a good one it challenges the openness and ability to be vulnerable it's a scary question okay i threw someone off the back of a cruise ship vaughn you didn't murder anyone on a cruise ship

didn't i you're trying cruise ship. Didn't I? You're trying to be a bad boy. I feel like I've convinced myself I have now. All right, number three, ultimate snack. Are they a foodie? Are they a health freak? Oh, no, this is good. This is about getting the information that you'll discover later that might be a turnoff.

Also, do you know what I like? Some people are like, you know, they think you've got to like the same things. But I quite like it when someone doesn't like the same snacks as me. Yeah. Because then they won't eat all my favorite snacks. I can have a pantry full of my favorite snacks. Thank you very much.

Okay, top two. Here we go. Tell me the last three emojis you used as number two. Oh, yeah, good. It tells them their go-to emotional state, you know, the sense of humor. And number one, this is very millennial, describe yourself in a tweet. A good way to help them focus on the essentials about them, what comes to mind, what do they want you to know about them first.

Now, is this old tweets or new tweets? Because tweets can be like 282 characters now, eh? You want 141? Yeah, I reckon that's good too. Definitely some questions in there That are different than the usual Questions you'd get on a dating app But I feel like if I was to ask those I would truly have a really good understanding

Of their inner working Feel free to try them out There you go ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast Fact of the day Day, day, day, day, day, day. Beautiful.

Lovely. Today's fact of the day is about hair growth. Okay. The average person has 100,000 hair follicles on their scalp alone 100,000? Yeah I remember you said that ages ago, a few months back You, that cat fact of the day about how much hair cats have 600,000 what?

That blew my mind 600,000, that's right Yeah Which is why I'm always vacuuming after my cat Yeah No, it was more than that, wasn't it? I thought it was in the millions or am I on my minding after my cat It was more than that wasn't it I thought it was in the millions Or am I on my mind

Per square inch on the belly You're right It was way more So humans have about 100,000 hair follicles On their scalp if you've got a full head of hair I don't I don't know the thickness I guess beards And facial hair

Differ so much Person to person And pubes And pubes Some are wiry Yeah Yeah and some go right down the legs And some are a thicket

Yeah Some are a thicket And some people have a spattering Yeah Someone at work Has a spattering of wiry pubes Because they're always in the urinal It's disgusting

Oh really What are they doing I don't know Maybe it's when they fish it out. Ripping it out and tucking it in. You're being too rough with it. Yeah. Be gentle, be gentle, gentle.

Take it be gentle. So of those 100,000 hair follicles, hair apparently grows at an average pace of about half a millimetre approximately a day. Meaning if you times half a millimetre by 100,000, the human body can grow, on the head alone, 50 metres of hair

a day. But because it's spread across 100,000, it looks so minimalist. It looks so tiny. As someone that shaves their head, like, in one week, if you go shave it completely off with a razor and then let it grow for one week, it is amazing how long it is at the end of that one week.

You have to shave every couple of days. Otherwise, it's a nightmare. You don't notice it otherwise, eh? You only notice it probably if you shave your head. Yeah. Because I don't notice it and you feel like it's forever. And then you see a photo from a few months ago. You're like, oh, yeah, my hair is really long.

It has grown. Because you're about shoulder length. So half a millimeter is not much. But for when you have no hair Half a millimetre is a bit So in an average lifetime If you didn't shave your hair Cut your hair

How long would it go? I know it slows down Because your body It knows it's real long Gets to a point and it's like What are we doing here babe? Does it have to maintain it or something? Or there's something

The follicle can pump that out But yeah when it gets long Is when it slows right down Right But yeah spread across Those 100,000 hair follicles At half a millimetre a day There's something, the follicle can pump that out, but yeah, when it gets long is when it slows right down. Right. But yeah, spread across those 100,000 hair follicles at half a millimeter a day, the human body's growing about 50 meters of hair on the head alone. That's something you can include in the chest. Male or female, if you're going to hear a chest. But yeah, 50 meters.

Including me. Absolutely welcome. Of hair a day. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. It's Polly Moly Moly Moly Moly Polly Moly Moly Moly Come on! Well, it's time for a ghosting edition of Polly Moly Ghosting, also known as the French Exit, I believe the Brits call it. Yeah, the French Exit, the Irish Goodbye.

So we're not just talking about ghosting like on... Dates. Tinder or dates. No, this is party ghosting. Oh my God, always. I am the king of the party ghost. I wouldn't even say goodbye. I went to a wedding recently,

and I didn't even say goodbye to the bride and groom. Just leave. Bye, I was just out. I have full respect when somebody does this, because I'm like, I did not notice. You've pulled that off. I'm so proud for you. You just look around, you're like,

where on earth is Hayley? Because you know what happens when- Also rate yourself, that people will even notice when. You just look around, you're like, where on earth is Hayley? Because you know what happens when... Also rate yourself that people even notice when you're Fletch. Yeah, they're like, what's happening here? I think the party starts to fizzle out after I've gone. You're a real ingredient for the party, but Fletch is just... Yeah, people don't even notice, to be honest.

But you know when you say goodbye and everyone's like, don't go! Why don't you have one more? There's always people like that. I don't. If I't you have one more there's always people like that i don't if i'm like see you guys they're like later dick thank god good go now let's get this party started but some people do you know some people find it quite rude and also there is a safety aspect of it as well like for example if a single female just is all of a sudden gone from a party, people may worry. Yes. So should you maybe tell one or two people?

Yeah, definitely. Should you send a group message when it's over, when you're in the Uber home? Yeah, I don't think I... Yeah, I often do that. If I've left a group hangout, I'll often, like, in the Uber be like, ha-ha, I left. Yeah, all right, well, we've ran some poll questions past you. We asked, do you often ghost?

This is leaving a social function without telling people. 50% of people said yes. 50% of people said no. Wow. That's quite split. Somebody said, I will ghost because it takes an hour to say goodbye to everybody. Exactly. Take care of it in a single message.

It's better to ask for forgiveness, isn't it? Yeah. Then to ask permission. Also, why would you need to ask for forgiveness from people for leaving a function? You're on free. People just get weird about it. They think you should stay all night. I need to sleep.

Or go to Macca's. Somebody else said no. No one even notices when you slip out of the party, so why not? It's an absolutely perfect way to leave a party. My boyfriend and I are exact opposites. I'll just ghost a party, but he has to go and say goodbye to everybody. Is that a bit of narcissism there?

Maybe. A bit of a dragging it around, saying he's leaving. Party sucks now because I'm leaving, but anyway, guys. Yeah. I do sometimes ghost when I'm embarrassed about where I'm going to get some Chinese buffet. Yeah. Like a 24-hour bakehouse situation. Yes.

And you don't want to tell everybody you're going there because then what if they all want to come and then they get the last sausage roll. Then there's a queue. Do you think it's rude to ghost? 62% of people said yes, it is rude to ghost. 38% said no. Oh, get over yourselves. In capital letters, somebody writes, so rude, they invited you.

So if they invited you, you should tell them you're leaving, basically. Yeah. I'm not talking about a dinner party for four. I'm just off to the bathroom. You're talking about an event that has a lot of people right here. Like an event or a house party or a New Year's Eve thing. What the next feedback says, it completely depends on the event. Ghosting or wedding?

Rude. No, I don't think so. Because by the end of the night, people are so drunk, they don't know what's happening, do they? Absolutely. And it also depends on the size of the wedding. Are we talking a wedding of 50? Are we talking a wedding of like 200?

Yeah, because not everybody's going to get a chance to say goodbye to the bride. If they're leaving before the bride and the groom. Otherwise, you see them off when they're leaving the car thing. Housewarming, not rude to ghost a housewarming. Rude to ghost a wedding. If it's a big event, they probably won't even notice. Rude if it's a small gathering. Yeah, right.

Okay. At least tell the host or the person that invited you if you're leaving. See, I prefer to do that after I've gone. Same. Because then they can't do that thing where they're like, oh, no, can you just stay a little bit longer? Next question we ask is, how do you ghost an event? What's your preferred technique?

Is it A, shush, just leave? B, message the group chat once you've gone? Or C, just tell one friend before you're leaving that you're leaving? I do a combination I'll just shush and leave You'll often say to me, I'm going, because I don't try to stop you I'll maybe tell a close

friend because they know I'm a ghoster and they're happy with me to do that. Maybe the person you went with, you know, like if you've gone to an event or a party with a friend then I might go up to them and be like, I'm gonna go Yeah, see that's different because they could be half an Uber, you know, like if you've gone to an event or a party with a friend, then I might go up to them and be like, I'm going to go. Yeah, see, that's different because they could be half an Uber, you know, they could be relying on a split fare home.

Yeah, true. So you've got to work in with them, don't you? Yeah. But yeah, you'll tell me. I won't stop you, but it's good to know I say text me when you get home because you're attractive and very weak. Attractive and weak. You could literally be picked up and put into the back of a lorry and sold to an Albanian sex slave industry.

And then like Liam Neeson, you'll need to come and find me in Europe, but you'll have to wait until the bubble opens. What a pain in the ass. By that time, you're a goner. Not much of a movie if he had to wait for the COVID pandemic. I will find you.

He would have been up against customs and international security as well. It would have added an extra layer of excitement. To the movie, yeah. And we asked, oh, by the way, the most popular one in that was just telling one friend before they leave. Okay, right. A trusted friend. Has ghosting an event ever caused you drama, we asked.

And people said, yes. My friends thought I had slept with my friend's boyfriend because we both ghosted the party at the same time, but it went in opposite directions. Oh, wow. Okay. That sounds like a trust issue, though. You know, like that's... Yeah. You've got to trust the friend and the boyfriend.

My friends ghosted a bachelorette party, and the bride was fuming. You can't ghost... Oh, maybe... Bridesmaids and essential crew can't ghost a bachelorette. No, but just a friend can. But that's kind of a smaller event, right? When you've got to go, you've got to go.

Bounce out of there. Better than vomiting on the stripper, you know? As you can see that on the horizon, it's better to avoid that. Then the bro would really have been fuming because you've got to pay a soilage fee for vomiting on a stripper. But is it still $150 a spewing of a stripper? That's the other thing. I think you've got to let, if your friends know it's time for them to go

and they're getting to that limit of drunkenness, would you rather they go home or you have to deal with all the drama that you have to, you know, go home. Yeah. Somebody said,

I had some friends ghost my wedding before dinner was even served. Oh no, see that's rude. We're talking about the party end. Yeah. Um, my friends are pissed because they didn't know if I was dead or alive. That I can understand.

Please let everybody know where you are for safety's sake And yes, the drama when I ghosted an event was caused because I didn't take my friend with me Hard to ghost in numbers though Best to ghost as an individual It is Alright, so we can draw from that Ghosting's fine with the majority of people But tell someone

Tell someone After you've left Please do Flesh, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast. ZM. Well if you're wondering what the key to a happy marriage comes down to, you may think of

things like trust or fun or loyalty. But turns out DNA might be the key. Your DNA might actually help you. There is a gene A variation of the CD3-8 gene

Or the CC as we'll call it from now Okay That increases your level of Trust, forgiveness and satisfaction Leading you To have a happier marriage Because those are key things in your marriage So it's not even

Right If you have this gene, if you have this gene that increases your satisfaction, does it mean that you don't have to be as satisfied to be as happy in your marriage? Well, maybe. The satisfaction gene. Yeah, so it gives you more,

leads to feelings of more trust and gratitude, satisfaction. They did a research of people that have this gene versus people that don't and found that this gene linked to a general sense of happiness in their marriage. I'm sure it comes down to a lot of other factors. You must have that, Vaughan. So you're in a 10-year marriage. It's a good helping of Irish stubbornness too. Right, yeah.

We've come this far. I said forever! I said forever! Dammit, I hate you! But we said forever! And you've always said the secret to a long, satisfying marriage is bog them down with paperwork. Yes, admin, admin.

Who likes admin? We don't like no admin. So do you reckon that that could be this simple? 50% of marriages end in divorce. Maybe they don't have the DNA. Maybe they don't have the DNA. So they're saying it's not that people who don't have this chain are doomed. It's just that they are more likely to have issues in some of these areas like trust or satisfaction.

They've got to work harder. They've got to work a little bit harder at it. So hopefully you do have the gene. Just phone it in. The marriage will last forever. That's what you're basically saying. Just phone it in. Yeah, can you get tested for this gene?

I'm engaged. I don't know. Just wondering if it's worth actually spending money on the ceremony. Exactly. Long time or a good time. I want to know.