ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 27th July 2020

Episode Date: July 26, 2020

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Hello and welcome to the Fleeche Morning Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Grab yourself a delicious barista made coffee for only $4. Where do you get the work vacuum from? And is it still the Ghostbusters backpack vacuum? I think it is. Made a mess all over the floor. Oh, are you actually going to clean it up? No, but you now have audio proof that at least I looked into it. I was going to say, it's very rare that you would actually clean up your muddy boots. You always bring muddy boots in here.

Today, so I had to go and check on the goats before I came to work and take them some hay. So it meant I trod in a particularly muddy area. You're the reason people have signs on. Do you have a sign at your cafe? It's like, no muddy boots? No, I'm this close to doing it. Oh, really? Yeah, because people just trot in with their boots on and it's like, just boots. No, I'm this close to doing it. Oh, really? Yeah, because people just trot in with their boots on

and it's like just trailed mud everywhere. And they went on the work site on the tools. Yeah, come and get a coffee, which is all good, but who's going to clean up that mess? No muddy boots at the door. Yeah. You don't have a survey window, eh? No.

You ever thought about putting in a survey window? No, just don't leave mud on the floor. It could be like a cat flap. You could call it the coffee flap. Yeah. And so they pop it open and they're like, hello, Americano, please. And they put their arm through with the thing in their pay wave

and then they pull it back out. And when you put the coffee out, you go meow out the cat door and the window. It's like going to the servo after hours. Yeah. Because have you ever had to downgrade some of your food orders? No, I hate that.

I don't like, if it's, the night pays on, I'm like, oh no, no. You don't want your food through a flap. Because you have to like talk through the window and be like,

yeah, I'll have it. I did some bug gardens. And you're like, back, over, kick. No, no, no, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going. Down a bit.

Down, down. No. Yeah. No. No, no, no, no. Put that back. No, no, no. Like the drinks, you're like, oh, yeah, no. Keep going, keep going, keep going. Down a bit. Down, down. Yeah. No. No, no, no, no. Put that back. No, no, no. Like the drinks, you're like, oh, yeah, I'll have a Coke Zero.

And they come back with a Coke. You're like, zero. And they go back and they come back with a Diet Coke. You're like, no. And they come back with no sugar. You're like, no. And you go back one more time and they come back with Coke Zero. But then they've bought you a 600 mil, but you're after a 1.5. But then I'm also offended because I'm like, I'm not going to rob you.

Just let me in. It is. It does. Yeah. Does it make you feel like... It's just a few people ruining it for the rest of us, isn't it? A few armed robbers stealing cigarettes and the like. But they've got that smoke button now.

They've got the disco button. Oh, yeah. And it brings up a smoke screen. Why don't they just have a security person like frisk you? I'd handle a frisk. That means that you've got to pay an extra person. Yeah. They want it running at absolute minimal staff during those quiet hours.

True. Well, I don't know. They want my order or not. Yeah, they don't. There's plenty of stoners and drunk people Getting their food Through the flap Yeah At the wee small hours That's if you've had A bag of chips so big

Like the airy ones That they've had to like Squeeze it under that flap To get under that thing Would they If you got like A massive bag of something Would they open the door

Or would that be They'd think there was a trap Oh like a firewood thing Yeah They'd think it was a trap They'd just open the bag So all the air goes out And they can slide it

Through the thing A bag of kindling Oh no Like if you wanted the bag so all the air goes out and they can slide it through the thing. A bag of kindling. Oh, no. But that's on the fourie most of the time. No, they take that in at night because they've been stolen off the fourie. If you're buying kindling in the middle of the night, then that's your fault. You are not prepared. Speaking of where they pass it through one kindling at a time and then put the bag through at the end.

Speaking of fourie, how's about your message about that show where you saw lots of fourie? Naked Attraction. Yeah. I love that show. Shadana watched it on Friday night, and she said penises are horrendous looking things, aren't they? Yeah. And I think we all agree that they're not winning any beauty or equity.

Sometimes you get a good one, and then you marry them. I was just looking at all of them and then looking at mine. I'm like, mine's very average looking, but it could be so much worse. It could be. There was a guy, Sade, when she said that the penis is unattractive, I tell you what, the lesbians started circling like vultures. Didn't they? She was like a bit of breed or a chip on the beach.

Yeah. What? No, I'm talking vultures, not seagulls. Don't compare lesbians to seagulls. No, I'm saying Sade. No, Sade was a bit of breed or a chip. No, she was like a dying zebra. It's our vultures.

Right, okay. Don't compare them to vultures. Her heterosexuality is a dying zebra. And I'm going to read a swoop down. And eat the carcass. Yes, and really eat the carcass. But then I did have correspondence from a gay man. Okay.

And he said that he has seen lots of penises okay but never once has he seen one with as much foreskin as he saw on naked attraction and that was good because i was i was blown away by the amount of foreskin okay right it'll be like rolling down a cricket bat handle you know when a cricket bat handle gets, I mean this is a very niche for people like me, but the cricket bat handle slips. When the rubber stretches. Over the end of the, and you've got to roll it down so that you're not holding on to nothing or cut it off.

Which is the Jewish way of doing things with a cricket bat handle. You cut the end off because it's pointless and you just want it all handled, don't you? We've all had a flappy cricket bat handle at one stage in our lives. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Wait, are we talking, like, metaphorically?

No, actually. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. If you've played cricket, you've had a floppy. You've had a floppy. Backyard cricket bat. Yeah, kookaburra for me. Fantastic. Well, enjoy the show.

Yeah. Enjoy the podcast. ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fleshfauna Megan. The podcast. Megan, I can't help but notice

you left our birthday present for you here at work. I didn't have enough hands to carry it to the car. Certainly, it's a one-person job. Today, it'll... Oh, really? Yeah. It's very light. It's printed on canvas.

Very light. But, I mean, that's rich coming from you. I can probably still look out here and see some of the guys I've got here. Two birthdays. That's been used as a cable carrier. That was not as intended. Purpose. At all.

But no, we expect that to be hung above the bed. Some people came into the cafe over the weekend and were like, oh, we thought that would be hung up here. I was like, don't you start. That's also a great idea. Don't you start. Imagine the foot traffic it would create. When I say some people, I think it was two people mentioned it.

That's the power of radio right there. The percentage of the people who were in the cafe who didn't want to see it. Yeah, right. People who came in and were too scared to ask. I would have numbered in their hundreds, I'd say. Yeah, sure. Well, maybe you do need to hang it for a week in the cafe. Nah.

I just... Just to appease them. In the bathroom? I haven't found the right spot for it yet. Right. I don't know where that'll be. I'll ask the dairy next to your cafe. Oh, yeah, that's a great idea.

He'll do it. In the window of that vacant shop. Yep. What a great idea. Maybe that's what we need to do, just have a little art it. In the window of that vacant shop. Yep. What a great idea. Maybe that's what we need to do, just have a little art gallery in the vacant. In the vacant shop. Lots of vacant shops at the moment. You can get all of your gallery printed.

Yes. Yes. See how many people turn up. Oh, that sounded a bit rude. It did. It did. Rather than actually inquisitive. Yes.

The top six on the way. Yeah. Today's top six. It turns out people are renovating rather than travelling. Well, The top six on the way. Yeah, today's top six. It turns out people are renovating rather than travelling. Well, you're not allowed to travel. No. And that money's obviously burning a hole in their pocket. Yeah.

And they are renovating instead. So the top six ways to renovate like you're travelling. All right, next on the show, though. The perfume to wear to pull a guy out when you're out. I honestly don't know how I'm going to broach this topic. Well, you've got two minutes 44 to decide. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Study has been done by a sexologist.

It's an experiment to kind of figure out what perfume would attract the most suitors. Right. What's that one you've got at the moment? Versace. Versace. Versace. Red. It's a red bottle.

I won't say what it's called. Like what it's been unofficially named. What it's been unofficially labelled. Yeah. But no, a lot of people are like, oh, that's a nice one. What is that? And I'm like, I don't know. It's red.

It's in a bottle. Yeah, right. Well, this one is one you don't have to buy. Okay. Is it Glade? Is it Glade air freshener? Well, you don't have to buy that. Is it lavender?

Oh, yeah, you do have to buy that. Well, what if you go to a cafe and there's some in the toilet? Yeah, true. Yeah. No one's using it. It's only mums in the toilet. Yeah, true. No one's using it. It's only mums use Glade. Yeah. So this was

an experiment to see how your own bodily fluids would work as a perfume. So... Spit. No. Snot No

So her and three of her clients wore I honestly don't know how to say this How did they retrieve it then apply it Scientifically or just It just sounds like, you know,

there's no scientific way. Okay. Right, okay. They wore their own bodily fluid on their necks and stuff while they were at a crowded bar. And they have found that anyone who is attracted to women's vulvas will be attracted to the pheromones that they have been put on as a perfume.

We used to work with someone who did this. Back in the day, we worked with someone who did this. Do you remember our absolute shock and awe when she told us this? Yep. I do. I was a young man at the time. I wouldn't have been able to hire a car. I was under 25.

You would have been able to, but you would have paid a good premium. Absolutely. Smack on the top of the ordinary. Yeah. Yeah. When she said it, I was like, what? But then most of my conversations with this particular person were me going. Were eye opening.

What? What do you mean? Certainly a rural. Oh my God. A rural country-opening. What? What do you mean? Certainly a rural country boy like yourself in the big smoke. There's no confusing. I'm in the big smoke now. So they,

how they did this was they struck up a conversation with a few guys in the bar and then went to the bathroom and applied the perfume. Oh, go on, they did it

there. Yeah, because it was a test and then after that they said that the guys were leaning in more and eventually burying their face in their neck and were very attentive. So they believe that this is, this is a

sexologist too and three of her clients. So the four women had success with this. I swear everyone's chucking that on the end of their title lately. Seems to be the hip title. Yes, I mean, yeah, if you want to give that a go, go for it. Not to work today though. You've got to concentrate. And everyone else has got to concentrate.

Save that for next weekend, please. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Well, there's research out from the University of Copenhagen that says that short of cash, many young people, more so than ever, up to the age of 39, are turning to the bank of mum and dad. For just handouts. Well, not a free pen, Megan.

Low interest rates. Low interest rates. For money. Just like little amounts and big amounts. Well, both. Using them to back their house buys. Right. Right.

And fill up the car. You know, their first fill up the car. Yep. Maybe a bootload of groceries. But yeah, apparently it's putting them under pressure. Putting mum and dad under pressure. Yeah, more mum and dads under pressure. Right.

Because now they're looking after their children. If you said up to the age of 39, you would say twice as long. Yeah. As they would have previously, perhaps. Yeah. Apparently, before COVID lockdown, banks were uneasy about parental loans and weighed them into the loan-to-value debt equation. But that's changed.

So I think they're just like, Oh, so that doesn't count as a debt against you? Yeah. So if you go to borrow money for a home loan, they need to know everybody you owe money to. It might be a student loan, it might be credit cards or whatever, and then they can work out how much debt you've got.

So pre-COVID, anything you owed your parents, which might have just been taken out of your inheritance one day, that was kind of the agreement you had, would count against you as a debt. And thus, they wouldn't be able to loan you as much money. But now they're like, nah. Yeah. It's all good.

Wow. But that's you, Megan. You probably got a fill up from. But now they're like, nah. Yeah. It's all good. Wow. But that's you, Megan. You probably got a fill up from Ray Ray when she was up here last. Yeah. How many times? No, just once. How am I? What else did she buy you? She likes by me towels at the moment.

Like lots of linen. Oh, yeah. That's good. Do you know what? She's. My mum cheaps out on towels though. Really? No.

Yeah. You've got to get good Sheridans. Good towels. My mum sits on a wish list on Briscoes because she's discovered Briscoes online. Yeah.

And so like literally she won't say anything and then a massive package will turn up the door and it'll be like towels and she found a pillow on sale. A pillow in a case? No, no, no,

just like a nice pillow. Oh my God, I'm just, I'm at Briscoes online and they're having a sale. I know. Unbelievable., just like a nice pillow. Oh, my God. I'm just... I mean, at Briscoe's online, they're having a sale. I know. Unbelievable. She just, like, sits on there and finds, like, new things.

She's like, do you want to throw? And then what, does she get a notification when her wish list is on sale? A must do. She's really gotten on board because she's like, I don't even have to go into the shop. See, I wouldn't be complaining about new towels, but you don't buy another person a pillow. That's a personal purchase. A decorative pillow?

No, like a pillow you sleep on. No, absolutely not. Did you give it a tick? I haven't used it yet. Is it going to be a spare bed pillow? Maybe, yeah. Is it a memory foam pillow? No. What is that? You can't say that to your parents, like, oh,

I didn't actually like the thing that you bought me. Oh, I would. So that they didn't keep loading me up with pillows. This is like how I, for ages, my mum thought her meat life was my favourite recipe of hers because I was polite and I had to break it to her that I didn't need it every time I went and saw it. She had other dry meat that I would put up.

Other overcooked. You're so ungrateful. Other overcooked to death steak. Oh, well done, Steak Mom. This is good. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. That's how I'd like to start while we're about to talk about it. Oh, no.

What are you smug about? Very smug. When I got my Apple Watch. Have you got an Apple Watch? Yep. Didn't brag about it. But a few people in my life said, oh, Apple Watch, you should have got a Garmin.

They're a far superior smartwatch. Well, Garmin's been down for like three or four days. I thought Garmin was fish finders. They might do heaps of stuff. It's like GPS. They do like aviation or four days. I thought Garmin was fish finders. They might do heaps of stuff. It's like GPS. They do like aviation stuff. Yeah. All the GPS stuff.

Can we talk about fish finders for a minute? I've never, you know how you're going along in the boat and you're going really slow and some old mate's like, yeah, there's the seabed. Oh, yeah, she's starting to drop off. And then there's the fish. Yeah. And then you drop your lines down, nothing.

And then he's like, oh, it might have just been weed. But there was a picture of a fish. It was a fish. Yeah. And he's like, no, it just detects anything and turns it into a fish, and the size of the fish is the thing you're concerned about. Because if it's a big thing, it could be a big cluster of fish, or it could be a big cluster of weed.

I was like, throw that thing in there. What a waste of time. I'd like to see what would happen if you were on top of a submarine. It would be a big fish. Or would it just be a little fish? It would be a massive fish with a snorkel. With a periscope.

And you'd be looking at it and it'd be looking at you. I always thought that they were like magic. And then went out fishing a couple of times with friends' dads when we were kids. And they'd be like, oh no, that's probably just weed. Surely they were like magic. And then went out fishing a couple of times with friends' dads when we were kids. And they were like, oh, no, that's probably just weed. We're like, surely they're better now. Are they?

I don't know. How do they work, though? Is it sonar? Right? Oh, it's one of the darts. Does it have a thing in the water? It's one of the arse. Yeah, it shoots it down, right?

And when something reflects back up. Right. That's how I can tell where the bottom is because it's a consistent thing. Right, but do you have to have a thing on your boat? Yeah, you have to have something out the bottom. Do you dangle it down the bottom? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you get it installed, don't you get a thing on the bottom?

I don't know. Or somewhere. You have to be careful with it on the bottom getting on the boat trailer. It's true. I don't know how any of this works. Somebody does. But what's a gum? It's very frustrating for fishers to listen to. Three people who don't know how any of this works. Somebody does. But what's a Garmin? This is obviously very frustrating for fishers to listen to.

Three people who don't go fishing. One gets very seasick. One doesn't like the smell of fish. I don't like touching them. Yeah, you don't like touching them. Yeah. Oh, I don't put the bait on. You have to put the bait on for me.

I do put the bait on. And, like, get the fish off because they flap everywhere. Yeah. I'm trying to help you. It's not much fun. You're not just like boat parties. Holding down a fish and your mate's like, I'm YouTubing, I'm YouTubing. You're like, where do I stab it to help you It's not much fun Holding down a fish And your mate's like I'm YouTubing I'm YouTubing

And you're like Where do I stab it to kill it Behind the gills And you're just like I'm sorry And you do it And it's still flapping And you're like

Oh no this isn't going right Where it else Anyway Back to when I was right About smart watches Yeah Garmin's been down Four days

Right The user It might still be functioning As a basic sort of like time-telling watch, but all your details and everything. And there's thoughts that it might be ransomware, like a ransomware attack. That's locked people out and they're demanding payment to unlock the files. Garmin have not come out and said that is the case, but then people who are close to the source are apparently saying that it is.

And they've got their big business-y thing this week. What's it called? AGM. Yep. Financial Earnings Call on Wednesday. Right. Where they'll obviously need to address this, because this is great going into the... That would be super annoying if you were out biking or running or on the trails and you

wanted to... Because, you know, people get really addicted to getting their kilometres for the week. Yep wanted to because you know people get really addicted to getting their kilometers for the week and you know building up their stats like map my run and that kind of stuff. So if anyone tries

to upload a run, a swim, a cycle, a yoga, I was going to call it a jogger. You can upload a swim. Just where you're jogging you.

Yeah on the waterproof ones. You can't do it. You can't sync at all. Really? It's been very frustrating for people with connectivity. It's a real first world sync it all. Really? It's been very frustrating for people. Huh? With connectivity. It's real first world problems though, isn't it?

It is. My smartwatch won't tell all my connected friends that I went for a run today. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. A woman from the UK, she took to the internet to question a situation in her life. She has revealed that her and her partner have different sex drives.

We've talked about this before because, I mean, you might be in love, but then your sex drive might be wildly different. Yeah. This is the case for her. So she has said she wants to know how often people are having sex because she said her partner would love it to be multiple times a day, but will settle for every day. And she was like, well, I'm happy for once or twice a week.

What is everyone else doing? And there was like over 300 answers. Once or twice a day? Get a hobby. Even if you wanted to, who has time for that? What are they both just sitting around not doing anything? Yeah. So yeah, she said if a day or two has gone by, then he gets quite frustrated.

But then compliments, like he's keen to do it all the time. Yeah. So yeah, she was like, what is your normal? And over 300 responses. And if you're wanting to know if you fit in with what's normal with what everyone else said, apparently it was hugely varied. So three times, this is one person's mathematical equation, three times every fortnight is what one person said.

So if you're doing it once in a week, then the next week it'll be two. So she's like, roughly, this has been consistent for years on what we do. Another, like quite a few people said once or twice a week, then the next week it'll be two. Okay. So she's like, roughly, this has been consistent for years on what we do. Another, like quite a few people said once or twice a week keeps everyone happy. But then others said they can go months without. Right. And everyone's happy in the relationship.

Married 24 years and probably about three times a month. But then if you're on holiday, more. Oh, okay. So I guess there's... Holiday rules. That makes me trust hotel beds a whole lot. I know. That's the first thing I thought of too was like, oh, hotel rooms.

Everyone knows. Yeah. That happens. Yeah. That's why the sheets get changed so often. Yeah. Yeah. Now, Tracy Cox, you might have heard of her before because she talks a lot with the Daily Mail and stuff.

She's the sex expert. Right. She said individual circumstances can make a mockery of any statistics. So that means like... You do you. Yeah. And it comes into like resting, libidos can be different, medication stress levels, commitments, trauma, career, depression,

erection difficulties, feeling unwell if you're too drunk. There's a million things that come into it. So don't look on the internet for feeling normal because there really is no normal for like every day. Multiple times a day I'm still stuck on that guy. Absolutely not. How old is he? Are they going to the gym?

Like 16? Are they gymming as well? Or like, is that the gym? You wouldn't see that horndog losing a bloody couple of years. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. From the ZM Think Tank.

This is the top six. Hello there. It turns out with the lack of international travel being an option, people with money are turning to renovations instead. Right. People who have maybe been putting off renovating the family home have said, well, we won't be spending that money travelling. We'll put it towards renovations.

This is happening in other areas of life as well. Right. Imagine for a moment you've got enough money to take your whole family skiing in Switzerland. Imagine. I know. Imagine. It's a really long bow to draw. Switzerland would be one of the most expensive countries I've ever been to in my life.

Yet I was literally told by somebody who sells luxury cars that someone came in and said, well, I won't be taking the family skiing in Switzerland this year, so I'm just going to buy a new car instead. What? It wasn't a Maserati. No, it wasn't a Maserati,

but it was luxury. It would have been a six-figure car. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's nuts. So people are also spending money on renovations. So the top six ways you can renovate your house like you're travelling. So you are also spending money on renovations. So the top six ways you can renovate your house like you're travelling. So you get the best of both worlds.

Yeah, okay. Number six, renovate your bathroom to have awful water pressure and next level mould problems due to a non-working extractor fan just like a South East Asian backpacker. Ooh, travelling. Chuck a gecko on the wall and you'll feel like you're there. Don't you, yes. You don't know what it's like.

You've never been in a backpackers. No, but there's geckos everywhere. Yeah, and multi-bathrooms. Number five on the list of the top six ways to renovate like you're travelling. When you renovate your bedroom, make the walls paper thin so you can hear everything that's happening in the rooms around you. Oh, wow. Who doesn't love hearing what the people next door are up to while they're traveling?

Are they going to scream tonight or are they going to scream? It'll be one of the two. Number four on the list of the top six ways to renovate like you're traveling. When you get your new lounge suite, get a fold-out couch. You know the type that's totally uncomfortable to sit on as a couch and then super uncomfortable to sleep on? Well, nothing says two-star motel like when you're travelling like a fold-out couch. Bags aren't getting the fold-out couch. Yeah, I don't have the fold-out couch.

Yeah. Well, I'm not. It just goes without saying. I'd rather just sleep on a skinny couch than a fold-out couch. Yeah, same. I'd rather put the couch cushions on the floor than sleep on a – because there's always a bar in those fold-out beds. Yeah, same. I'd rather put the couch cushions on the floor than sleep on it because there's always a bar in those fold-out beds. Just horrible. Horrible things.

Just terrible things. Number three on the list of the top six ways to renovate like you're travelling. Why have a huge fridge in your newly renovated kitchen when you could just have a mini fridge? And guess what? It's too small for milk to stand up in and it's iced over already. Ah, travelling.

Number two on the list of the top six ways to renovate like you're travelling. Let's pop back to the bathroom for a little renovation. And do away with pesky bottles of shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap and even toothpaste. But just having your bathroom full of those wall-mounted pump things. Yeah. And your own shower. Yeah, this feels weird, but... Use this for your hair, body, and brushing your teeth.

At least no one's... It's an all-in-one body wash. Yeah. It's an eight-in-one. Shampoo. Conditioner. Hand wash. Bleach.

Bleach for the floor. Yeah. Toothpaste. Toilet duct. Body wash. Mirror washer. Ugh. Face cleanser. That's eight. And exit mould. You missed out exit mould. We did bleach. Oh, bleach. Ble wash. Mirror washer. Ugh. Face cleanser.

That's eight. And exit mould. You missed out exit mould. We did bleach. Oh, bleach. Bleach pretty much speaks for exit mould. Whatever that is. And number one on the list of the top six ways to renovate like you're travelling.

Be constantly arguing with your partner about stupid shit because you're tired, out of your comfort zone and not sure this was the best use of money. Just like travelling. Today's Top 6. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Great story out of Australia. This is from North Queensland. A three-year relationship ended, and the boyfriend was salty because he was dumped.

So he played a bit of a prank. He decided to put up posters around North Queensland for a Chewbacca Raw contest. So all you needed to do was call the number on the poster. It was one of those ones with the little tear off bits. Yeah, yeah. You could tear off the number. Leave a voicemail with your best impersonation and you could win $100. So, as you'd imagine, the ex-girlfriend was inundated with phone calls and the noose got in touch with her

to ask her what it's been like. Well, I'm getting phone calls at really strange hours of the night, about 1 o'clock till 4 o'clock. I thought it was quite funny, actually. I thought it was a good joke. The police got in contact with me and finally they're going to do something about it.

If there's anyone out there that can do the real Chewbacca sound, I might marry you. Was that her laugh or her version at the end? Yeah, I don't know if that was her laugh. She did also say, if anyone sees these posters around, can you please pull them down? Because she's

had to block several numbers. It got online right because there was the pull tabs and then someone took a photo of one and put it on just been

like what's the story behind this and that's when the numbers crazy. Because the picture I've seen of it the numbers being blurred

out. Right. But I'm sure not That was on the news story about it yeah yeah. Well they're not going to put it up

because then she'd be getting international support. You would be done Right. But I'm sure not everyone. That was on the news story about it. Yeah, yeah. Well, they're not going to put it up. Then she'd be getting international. You would be done with, what's the misuse of a telephone? Does Australia have that? I don't know. We've got that. But then is that misuse? Oh, no. They might not have digital harm,

but they'll probably have misuse of a telephone because that's how you get people when they prank or emergency services. But are you the one, is the boyfriend the one who's not calling her? He's just put up her number. Would that be a privacy thing? Yeah, breach of privacy. I don't know.

What could the police charge him with? Inciting something? Harassment? Yeah, probably enabling her. You know, there's always something. It's always well worded in the... But, I mean, as far as, like, pranks on your ex, there's some really, like, nasty ones.

But, like, that's actually quite funny. She even saw the funnier side of it. So did she dump him? Yeah. And he's like, I'll show you. Exactly. It's pretty great. Like, when I saw that over the weekend, I was like,

I couldn't be mad at that. No. Like, if someone did that to me, I'd be like. You would be. The first couple you might not think, you're like, ha, ha, ha. But then when the numbers start rolling into the hundreds and your voicemail's full, that's the thing, you'd just let your voicemail fill up, wouldn't you?

But then you'd still want to divert the calls and then be constantly calling. And then if you ever get, like, a legit voicemail, it's like, you have 200 messages. Received three months ago. You're like, oh God, I'm trying to find the one I want. You'd have to change your number, right? Yeah. Yeah.

This is not a chewbacking voicemail competition. Please do not leave a message. So off the back of this, it's quite funny, the revenge. We'd love to know your clever breakup revenge stories. If you've ever gotten revenge on us. I mean, because you always hear of nasty revenge. Smashing up the car. Smashing up the car and that kind of thing.

But I don't know. Are people actually this clever? I think this is quite rare. Yeah. Quite a rare event. There's the dumping of the compost on the... Oh, you've heard of that. What do you mean? Dumping compost on the driveway. Somebody a rare event. There's the dumping of the compost on the... Oh, you've heard of that. What do you mean?

Dumping compost on the driveway. Somebody did that once. And, like, they stuck a sign that said, now you're literally full of shit as well. But you'd be stoked about that because you love compost. I would be. I'd go straight in the garden. Or, like, cover someone's car in, like, bread and stuff

because then the birds... The birds come down and poke all over it. But is that clever? Then the birds are going to peck the car. No, shit all over it. Oh, right. Constantly washing. Oh, that's a victimless crime. Let's go through the car wash.

Yeah. Speaking, that's someone who hasn't been through a car wash. Car wash will only get off The car wash only gets off the most convenient of dirts. If it's caked on, if it's stuck on, if it's poopy, you've got to get that scrubby brush. You've got to go to one of those wash-your-own,

wash-worldy situations. Yeah, right. Okay. All right, what? So you want to hear from people that have been... Clever breakup revenge. Right. So when you got some revenge on an ex

or maybe they got some on you. Yeah. Right. Clever. As opposed to like, you know, someone came around and set your house on fire because that's just nasty, isn't it? I mean, well, that's illegal, yeah.

We're talking about revenge, but like a clever, you know, level of revenge. Cute revenge? I guess so. Like where it's victimless somewhat? Because of all that, I saw lots of people sharing this story over the weekend after it was aired on Australian news. Yeah. And everybody thought it was funny.

No one was like, unacceptable behaviour. Yeah. Everybody thought it was pretty good. I think, should we hear it again? Yes. Just purely for her laugh at the end. So this was, if you just joined us, this was a boyfriend who was dumped by her

and he put up posters. He put up posters around North Queensland with her phone number saying, you can win a Chewbacca Raw Contest, just leave a voicemail of your best Chewbacca to win $100. Well, I'm getting phone calls at really strange hours of the night, about 1 o'clock till 4 o'clock. I thought it was quite funny, actually. I thought it was a good joke.

The police got in contact with me, and finally they're going to do something about it. If there's anyone out there that can do the real Chewbacca sound, I might marry you. Wow. From what we can find out, that's her laughing and that's not her version of a Chewbacca. Did she say in the interview, like, was that their thing? Did they have a Chewbacca...

No, I don't know. I don't know if there was any previous Star Wars. I hope that he liked it and she hated it. That would be funny. Yeah, right. I think it was certainly Adelaide or something to it. So talking about your cute revenge stories. Yeah, any revenge stories.

Somebody said that there was the old shrimp down the centre of the curtain rail following a rather messy breakup. I've always remembered that one. Like some kind of like seafood down a hollow curtain rail or you hide it. The thing about a curtain rail, having recently put up curtain rails, is the minute you slid the curtains, the little things that hang on the curtains would just smush the shrimp right into the middle. Not if like a fishing hook, you got that thing through the shrimp.

So like a fishing hook, you know those clips that go onto the rails? Yeah. You just clip the shrimp in there. No, you're talking about the little pin thing. Yeah. But they attach to the curtain. Yeah. So you'd have to feed that on.

You'd see that. Oh, God, you'd have to wash the curtains. Yeah. So you'd have to feed that on. You'd see that. Oh God, you'd have to wash the curtains. Yeah. Or you'd probably just bin the curtains. Also, that's not really a cute

revenge story, is it? That's just like quite nasty. Emma, what was your story of revenge? Well, I've actually

just stayed really good friends with his mum since we've broken up. That's quite cool. You could, like, go on girly dates and just be there having a cup of tea when he comes over. Oh, hi.

Yeah, that's exactly what I've done. Text her a good luck text when she's got something at work going on, you know, make sure that I'm just always there. Because then you just know that she's always saying to him, what ever happened to Emma? She's so lovely. Yeah. And it's going to be hell for the next girlfriend that comes along.

Yeah, because she'll always be comparing her to you. She's team Emma. Brilliant. Thanks, you call Emma. Some more messages in. Somebody said, we glad wrapped the car as revenge. Oh, yep. But they got that off.

They thought they were pretty clever until they realised there was Vaseline under it. Oh, God. Okay, that's nasty. How do you get Vaseline on? I don't know. Does wash world have a hot hose? It has a hot hose. Does it have a hot hose?

It has a hot hose and a soapy scrub. You have to get the jug out. You'd be pumping coins into the wash world to get all the Vaseline. And then you've got Vaseline over the brush. The next person that comes along is going to get there. Oh, yeah. You almost have to use a couple of coins to take the high-pressure Vasyl over the brush. The next person that comes along is going to get there. Oh, yeah. That's nasty. You almost have to use a couple of coins to take the high-pressure wash

and wash the brush. You're just throwing money away at that stage. That's nasty, yeah. Absolutely throwing money away. Somebody else said, my friend, when she broke up with this dude because he was cheating on her, the last thing she did when she was leaving the house was rip all the labels off the canned foods. And he loved the spaghetti on toast.

It's really funny. Then it's like canned roulette. You've never heard that one before. Canned roulette. Good luck, sucker fool. You'd be able to tell your tuna from your spag, but you wouldn't be able to tell your peaches from your spag. No, you wouldn't.

But spag often has a rip tab. I reckon I could work it out. I reckon Detective Smith could sit down and be like, all right, spaghetti, which one are you? And if you really like watties, you could just replace them all with like oak and then rip the labels off. Oh, my God.

Because then they're like, oh, I found the spaghetti and they're eating it and they're like, this is oak! And somewhere you're like, ha, ha, ha, yum. And you're eating it on toast. Yeah. Because stuff them. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. So our dog Lulu, who's 13 years old,

she's got a dental appointment tomorrow and she's pretty much getting all of her teeth removed. Oh. She's got bad teeth. Everything. Bad teeth. But is she even going to survive the anesthetic? She's got a teeth. Everything. Bad teeth. But is she even going to survive the anesthetic? She's got a heart murmur.

Oh, God. Right. Her organs are functioning. We had some bloods. We ran some bloods. But there is a chance. Yeah, there's an elevated chance that the anesthesia will be administered to. Have you told the girls?

Yep. Yep. I mean, her teeth are so nasty. Last week when we were at the vet, we've tried all the things. We tried brushing. Have you had floss? A bit. I haven't had floss.

See, that's your problem. And I pour Listerine in her mouth, but she won't swallow it round. I don't. That's a joke. I obviously thought I was forcing that in my dog's gob. But anyway, when I was holding the mouth open, and she was trying to bite me, because obviously they're sore. I'm trying to get them all sorted. But one, I was like, this one's the mouth open and then she was like trying to bite me. Because obviously they're sore. Yeah. I'm trying to get them all sorted.

But one kind of like I was like, oh yeah, this one's not good. And I tapped it. And it kind of cracked. Like they're bad. And it was through complete negligence on our own behalf when we purchased her. We didn't do a background research into who we were buying them off. And then three months later they were on Campbell Live as a puppy factory. Oh my word.

Yeah. We thought we'd done enough. We obviously had not. And Campbell Live as a puppy factory. Oh my word. Yeah. We thought we'd done enough. We obviously had not and that is a lesson that we should all learn from. Yes. Be sure you know where these dogs are coming from or just adopt one. Yeah. So that's going to be, that dog is having more money spent on their dental work this week than I have had in 10 years.

Granted, I haven't been to a dentist in 10 years. Yeah, I was like, we don't know that that's not how much you should be spending. Also. I'll be going on anesthetic to get mine done as well. You've really left it too late because your plan was always to go to Thailand to get your teeth done. I know, yeah. And you've screwed up now because the borders are shut.

Yeah. So you're going to have to pay for it here. I know. When it all goes real bad. Or just wait another few years. What's another couple? I went for a run and I went with some cold air and like three of my teeth were like, not today.

Please, shut your mouth. We're freezing in here. Okay, you need some serious care to work. So no, I went home and I tapped into the emergency supply of Sensadon. Right. Lo and behold, it does what it says. Now, I'm not sure that's a good thing, but it does what it says. So that's vet problem number one.

Okay. That's expensive. Yep. Then at the weekend, it was just sort of a – people don't know this, but you've got to trim goats' hooves because goats are made for like alpine conditions. So they wear their hooves down like a beaver's teeth. Okay. They just keep growing. So that's their hooves down like a beaver's teeth. Okay.

They just keep growing. So that's why you might see like a goat that's been rescued or something that has like curled up hooves that look like little elf shoes. That's also why you might see a goat at Professionale. Yes. At the mall. Yeah. Sat up there.

Getting a goat mani-pedi. So I've been taught how to do that. Okay. By the vet. And so you trim off all the excess nail thing, like you're giving someone a trim, like a mani-pedi. And then there's a bit of padding on the bottom you've got to cut off. But I noticed that on Harold, my best boy's foot, his front foot,

it looked a bit funny. So I was trimming it very carefully, very carefully, and it started to bleed and it did not stop bleeding. So I made him a bandage out of an old towel and some masking tape and some disinfectant like animal disinfectant

and then I was like well if that doesn't stop bleeding we're going to need to call the vet and it didn't so we called the vet and the vet came out and you should see this goat's bandage

it's like human level bandage right you meant to not have a human level. No, but you know, like you might see, like I remember growing up on the farm, if a cow had a problem, you'd like.

Shoot it. It would be, if it was bad enough. Sure. There's no denying if it was bad enough and it wasn't going to survive. Put it out of its misery. But if, like if it had something and you'd clean it up and you'd wrap a bandage, you'd keep everything out of it. But this is like next level.

Right. It's like if your kid came home from A&E with one of those on their arm after they heard it, you'd be a bandage, you'd keep everything out of it. But this is like next level. Right. It's like if your kid came home from A&E with one of those on their arm after they heard it, you'd be like, damn, that nurse cared. Yeah, right. Well, the vet has to justify the payment, right? So then... Again, there's one of those. What did we tell you when you keep getting all these stupid

animals? They're cute, but you're going to have to pay. They're going to cost you money. This is like when Executive Intern Anja wanted to buy a European car. And you said you'd be paying for that. Well, my goat is European. Yeah. Sign in.

Two A's. That's some sort of Scandinavian goat. You should get a dig in here, Anya. I'm out. It's Monday. You don't want to have a dig? Nah. I'll take your digs.

I'm better than that. But anyway, the next problem comes in because Harold then has to be in a dry area. So he's in a dry area and he's by himself. He's very lonely and he's meh-ing frantically. So I move Helen in as well. I'm like, get in here. You guys are the same species. You can hang out in here.

And then she gets all silly and she kicks and she cuts her leg. So now the vet's got to come back to see to her leg because she's a stupid girl. Anyway, she's got a bandage on her at the moment. Anyway, it's all dramas. I mean, yeah, I told you so is kind of like what I'm feeling at the moment. Yeah. And zero sympathy. Yeah.

But then for the first time I did give Humphrey a big scratch under the chin and he looked at me right in the eyes. That's my cow. And that felt pretty good. That was almost worth it. Do you just spend all weekend petting animals? Mostly, yeah. Yeah.

And when I walk in with hay, they want to be my friends and it's like being the popular kid at school. Oh, my God. And you arrive. You arrive and they're like, hey, he's here, he's here. Oh, my God. Wow. Okay.

But they just want my hay, but I'm okay with that. It's like being, you know, the rich kid. It's only popular because they've got money. Time to play Bluff or Stuff. We welcome Amy to the show. Amy, good morning. Hey guys, how are you going? Good.

All right, so today, and I guess disclaimer, how are you going? Good! Alright, so today in I guess disclaimer, we have opened your prize if you win because we wanted to get a feel for the prize. We wanted to smell it. It was wrapped up in plastic so we needed to touch it. Yeah, in the cellophane. So we are playing today, you are playing Amy

for Good Girl. Oh, I haven't heard of that before. And who's it by? Carolyn Herrera. No, Carolina. Carolina. Now, we've got the box. Sorry, I had the box,

but I just turned away momentarily to look at you. Hey, Amy, it's so good to be bad. Oh, I see. It says on the box that I'm holding. All right, so Amy, to win Bluntful Stuff, you've got to tell us which one of us is actually holding the box. Like right now? Right, like...

Yeah, one of us is holding it now. Okay. The box is actually velvet. You can hear me. You can ask questions if you like. You don't have to just straight up guess now. Yeah. This is me rubbing the...

Can you hear it? That's velvet. That's me rubbing the box. Oh. So, are you guys switching it around as you talk? No. No, no, no, no. One person's got it.

We're all convincing you that we do, though. The rules of Bluffelstaff, yep. We're not allowed to switch it around on you. No. I will tell you, though, that this is the 80 mil. How many fluid ounces is that 80 mils? 2.7 fluid ounces? Yeah, obviously.

As it says here on the box. You obviously are Googling that, Vaughn. Is it open at the moment? Are you guys able to smell it? Yeah, it is. I just gave it a squirt before and it's delicious. Okay, Megan, can you tell me if it's like a florally scent or something? I wouldn't actually say it's not very florally, no.

She's got this herself, so she could totally just be drawing from memory. Yeah, she is. I would say it's rich, dark, mysterious. That's how I'd describe it as. Because you're reading the website. You're reading the press release. It doesn't have anything.

I think it's important we talk about the bottle that I'm holding because it's actually a high heel. It's a beautiful high heel bottle. Oh, I know the one. How did you get it out of the box? Yeah. I didn't really hear the box open or anything. Which I thought we would have.

I didn't put it right by the microphone. Which we would have if you'd opened it. Whereas if you listen now, you'll hear me opening the box. I feel like this is a hard one because you could all just be watching everyone fiddling with it. But I don't know who's actually got it. Listen, I'll just tap it on the desk. That's your Makona. Hey, hey.

To prove to you, I've got it, Amy. I'll squirt it. Ready? Listening. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Let me have another go. To prove that I'm honing it, I'll squirt it.

This is much more convincing. Oh, this is hard. That was much more convincing. Okay. Amy, I want you to eliminate one of us now. Just one of us. You. Me.

Fletch. You. Me. Fletch. Okay. That's because you banged your Makona on the desk. That is correct. It's not holding it. Yes. Okay, so I'm definitely

not holding it. So it's either Vaughn or Megan. Do you have a final question? I feel like I should, but I don't know. You've been overselling it, but you could just be trying to trick me. She's passionate about it because she't know. You've been overselling it, but you could just be trying to trick me.

She's passionate about it because she owns one. Who's been overselling it? Me? Yes. So I feel like you could be overselling it to make up for the fact that you don't hold it, but you could actually be still holding it. So I really don't know. This is mucking with my mind.

One of us is about to shake it. Okay, ready? Three, two, one. It didn't sound real. I don't believe that. That actually was the box. No, it actually was the box. Okay, Amy, who's holding it?

Vaughn or Megan? Megan. You want to lock in Megan? Lock her in for a Megan. Yeah, I'm nervous, but I'll go for it. That is incorrect. You should have gone with your gut, Amy. I'm sorry.

Damn it. Oh, God. Thank you guys so much anyway. I'll remember next time. Thanks, Amy. Thanks, Amy. It's always heartbreaking this game when someone loses. You can tell that Vaughn was holding it because he's like,

someone's going to shake the box, ready? And he fades out what he's saying because he had to concentrate. But then prior to that, I was making it, the best one is just to be an agent of chaos and just to make it sound like other people have got the box when you've got the box and then make it sound like you've got the box. It's all about just chaos. He held up the perfume to the microphone and went.

I could have squinted it, but I didn't. We didn't want to waste your prize. No. Alright, well Bluff Will Stuff... Well, somebody else's prize now. Bluff Will Stuff returns at future time in the show. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast.

Mountie at the social media desk, I believe we were across to her now, as this is a social media issue, accrued over 1 an hour, this is a social media issue, accrued over 1,000 karma points on Reddit the weekend. If you don't know what that is, basically, if you make a post on Reddit and people give it the old uptick, yep, that's a karma point. And she's got over 1,000.

So what did she post to get such a response? Your first ever Reddit post. First ever, yeah. You're a lurker. I'm more of a lurker, I would say. Right, than a poster. But you posted, and what was it regarding? Okay, so this is quite upsetting, really.

So every Saturday night, RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars Season 5 uploads a new episode. I'm aware of RuPaul's Drag Race, but what is RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars? So it's like any All Stars season. It's basically

the people who didn't win, but were really highly regarded and popular. And they're up to the fifth season of that. Of All Stars, yes. Is it the same All Stars

all five seasons? Different All Stars. Different All Stars. So a different cast every time. How many ordinary seasons have they had? 12. You can't have half the people coming back as All-Stars. They're not all All-Stars.

It's a smaller cast. Okay. So the regular seasons have maybe like 14, and then All-Stars have half of that. Okay. Yeah, right. Well, I'll let it fly then. I'll let this populate.

I had half an email composed of RuPaul, but I'll save that to drafts. I'll sit on it for a day or two and see how I feel after that. Yeah, so every Saturday on Netflix New Zealand, we get it a bit after the Americans do. So it's 7pm every Saturday night, and you have to avoid spoilers all day. So no social.

You can't go on Reddit, you can't go on YouTube. If you're following anyone on Instagram, it's going to get spoiled for you. Right. So the whole day went without my phone and I was like, we're going to sit down, we're going to watch this, it's going to be great. And this is the final. This is the finale. Yeah.

So we find out who has won All Stars 5. You can see who is the all-est star. Yeah. All star-ish. Yeah, all star-like. Yeah. Most All-Stars 5. You want to see who is the all-est star? Yeah, all-star-ish. Yeah, all-star-like. Yeah. All-star-ish. Okay. Exactly.

So log into Netflix, click on Continue Watching. It's there, yes. And the first thing I see is the crowned winner. That's the thumbnail. Oh. Yes. Wow. Yes. Who at Netflix is thinking that's a good idea?

Like, why not have a shot of all three of them? Exactly. I was so upset. Terrible plan. I wouldn't even put a thumbnail up full stop. Or just a generic show one. The same one from the whole season. Yeah.

This has never happened before. It happened to me watching Money Heist, the Spanish show. In season two, the little display picture, like you said, the little thumbnail, was something that happened in season three because it came up and I was like, well, that person doesn't have that haircut. And I was like, are they showing me something? And it was kind of the spoiler moment for season three. But it was in the Netflix preview when I was watching season two.

Yeah, because I try not to read like any episode synopsis when it's like all the episode lists. Yeah. Or even look at the thumbnails because it can ruin stuff. I think that's happened before where they put up a thumbnail of someone who was like, you weren't sure if they were going to die or not in the last season. And then they're included in the thumbnail

of the next season. You're like, oh, they obviously didn't die. Great. Yeah. I'm just wondering, what did the people say on your post? Because this is what you posted about and everyone's like,

ah, yes, I got ruined for me too. They are fuming. Yeah. We're all so upset because it ruined the entire episode. Yeah. Because the whole point of the finale is kind of, and when all the queens are so equally matched,

you're like, it could go any way. Yeah. So I posted it on Reddit and I was like, did Netflix spoil this for anyone else? Is this just a New Zealand thing? I mentioned that this is Netflix New Zealand. Yeah. And all the comments were like, yes, happened in the UK,

happened in India, happened in Indonesia, all over the world. Wow. It happened, so yes, I don't think, I think it's an automatic thing, the thumbnail-ing, and then someone just goes through and says, oh yeah, that looks approved. Maybe they didn't watch the show, but it's very

obviously the winner, holding the scepter. Yeah, you're 100%. Even in five years, if somebody's gone back into the archives and watching this, it doesn't matter that it was the day. You don't want that spoiled before you've even watched the show. Yeah, so it's my claim to fame. If it changes, you made a difference. Well, we know from trying to get the number one Christmas movie

into the top ten, Elf. Netflix is listening. They're listening. They're listening, transcribing. Yeah, so write this down. Send it to head office. Sort it out. Yeah.

No more spoilers in the thumbnails. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. The Hawks have their first hockey game tonight. Coach Smith,

he's got his three quarter length puffer jacket. Have you had it? Have you put coach on the back yet? No, I haven't. Are you putting just coach

or coach Vaughan? Probably just coach. Coach Smith. So you're coaching your, I haven't. Are you putting just coach or coach Vaughn? Probably just coach. Coach Smith. So you're coaching your daughter's hockey team. You've got the coach jacket. You're going to look like All Blacks coach Steve Hansen on the sideline. That's what I'm aiming for. You've got an earpiece, a mouthpiece.

I was thinking there's one hanging around here that I see sometimes. Otherwise, I'll just take my PlayStation 1 with headphones and a thing. I was thinking a little clipboard. Are you going to have a laptop in front of you so you can analyze match players? It happens. No, I was thinking like Sade could probably have one of those at a little desk. And every now and then I walk over and I look over his shoulder. I'm like, yep.

Okay. Yep. Steve, off. There's no kid called Steve. Come on, off. And then on. We've got a sub. Rolling subs.

Yeah, that's going to be all go. But we've had a last minute team pull out. August has decided she will not be playing for the Hawks. This game or ever? Ever. Indy is jazzed. Okay. She got in her uniform last night and we were like, oh, yeah, there we go.

This is a future black stick right here. Okay. But August is like... So why is... She doesn't even want to talk about it. August, your youngest daughter, not keen to play anymore. Because she doesn't want a mouth guard. Which is a pre...

If you don't have a mouth guard or shin guard, you can't go on. You've got to. You can't go on. And fair enough too. Yeah. You get smashed in the face. You want your best chance of walking away with all your teeth.

Yeah. So we got a standard mouth guard. The sort of mouth guard we would have popped in our gobs to go out and play junior rugby or hockey. Jelly ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You put them in hot water and you put them in. Anyway, so that came shaped. That was drama central.

Yeah. I'm going to spew. I'm like, you're not. And it got cut down. And then people, when we talked about mouth guard issue, somebody said, oh, you get this Sisu mouth guard. Oh, okay. And even you said when you did roller derby,

you had a Sisu mouth guard. Really skinny ones. So it's 1.6 mils versus four. Four is the standard. It's super strong. Super hard plastic. Right, okay. So you warm up the jug to about 80 degrees, not boiling,

and you put the Sisu in, and then there's this little pad, and you put that on your teeth, and then you've got to shape it. Right. Happily, I've thrown that $35 down the drain, because that's everything. $35 mouth guard. I mean, you can't put a price on your children's teeth, but the tooth fairy does.

So that went in and that was all high drama. What, she couldn't handle it? No, it didn't again. And I was like, because it comes flat, also it's not pre-shaped. You know the pre-shaped ones, they kind of come already, so the job's already done. You've just got to mold them to your teeth,

but these things come perfectly flat, so you've got to get them a finger up behind your teeth because they're too young. They don't know what they have to do with the tongue and everything. So that's been scrapped, and she's like, I quit. I'm out of the team. I love her. I'm out of the team.

That's something I'd do. Have a tan, T. I quit. Is that a risk? her I'm out of the team That's something I'd do Have a tan tea I quit Is that a There is a lot of you In her I don't know how I've prepared you

Like I'll work Yeah but it's you I can roll my eyes And be like Oh wow Come ten o'clock He's not my problem anymore

But this one's My problem all day I love her She's great She's like I quit I'm like you can't quit you've been given a uniform t-shirt

I'll just take it back she's not wrong I'll just take it back to the office my dad's the coach yeah so it's not like an excuse

because she's like I actually don't like it so mouth guard no she really liked it but she just every time the mouth guard got bought up she was like

no it's not happening I'm like well that won't let you play with that one. She's like, well, I'm not playing there. I'm like, you can't, like, have a Mexican standoff with an entire sport and think that it's going to fold. This feels oddly like a conversation we've all had with you multiple times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's the stubborn.

There is a stubborn. The stubborn Smith. Jean, and then Sade's got it as well. Actually, I'm surprised. And then she's obviously got her sister's half of the stubborn Jean as well. So is she going to see the game tonight and then want to play again? Well, I don't know. That's the thing.

She'll come along tonight and probably see the praise being heaped on her sister. And I'll be doing an extra heaping of praise. And then afterwards, I don't know, maybe a post-match lollipop or something for all the team members. That could sway her back around. Oh, Macca, take her through. Get her a Happy Meal. What, not August?

Yeah. Ultimate power play. Sorry. The Happy Meals are for the kids who tried at sport today. And I'll say, shout out, you're not getting one either. You weren't coached. This is for the team, okay? Yeah, yeah coached. This is for the team, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is for the team. Oh, my God. Do it. Not for the quitters. But I'd like to know when you had a tiny reason for quitting something. Like you had enough. Just the slightest inconvenience and you're like, nope, not for me. Like everything looked to be lining up to be a good time.

Yep. And then something small, minute, tiny happened, such as not wanting to shape a good time. Yep. And then something small, minute, tiny happened, such as not wanting to shape a mouth guard. And you're like, I'm out. Yeah. Could have been the start of a lucrative sister. Don't you think of the famous New Zealand brothers and sisters that play sports?

Yeah, could have been like that. You know, your McCollums. Yep. Are you out? Yep. The Barretts. The Barretts. The Barretts. The Wretts. The Barretts.

The Wettins. That's for the older people listening. The Wettins brothers. The Everswindals. Yes. What are those sisters that were always on the show with Paul Holmes because they jumped on that South Korean fishing ship from Nelson? The Ingams.

The Ingams sisters. They weren't sports. Were they not sports stars? No, they were just ship jumpers. Hitching a ride on the. They were hitching a ride on a cargo ship, weren't they? The Adams. The Adams.

Valerie Adams and Stephen. Yes, Valerie and Stephen. Yes. So imagine if Valerie's like, I don't want to play. I don't like mouth guards. Yeah. She's like, I don't want to wrap my wrist. Because she has to do that, right?

Wrap your wrist for a bit of extra stability. She's like, I don't want that. Okay, why me? Stephen's like, I don't want to have to wear shoes in the NBA. This is what you need to say to Augie. She doesn't know who any of these people are. Well, I mean, it's funny when it's, you know, a kid, but when it's an adult,

it's even funnier, isn't it? What is the little reason that you just decided to chuck in the towel? We want to know when you've quit something due to the most minor of inconveniences. Just actually heard from my sister, a grown woman, who this week

has her first game of indoor netball. Yeah. And it's also the first time in her life she's grown her fingernails longer and she's like,

I'm just thinking about maybe I won't go to netball or I'll just chuck it in. You did that? Yeah, I stopped playing netball because I was like, oh, I like my nails. And guitar.

Because what's the deal? You have to have a cut nail. Yeah, because otherwise you scratch someone's eye out. You've got to have short nails. When did you learn the guitar? When I was at school, I took guitar for a little bit, but it's too hard to hold the frets with nails. And I was like, well, I'm not cutting them off.

Oh, because if you've got to go push it straight down, you can't. Yeah. Because your thumb can't pat it down. So guitar. I also sucked at it, though. Kerith, what was the tiny reason for quitting? They were going to make me wear a crop top in the end-of-year production in jazz ballet.

So you were just like, no. Absolutely not. No, 11 years old, man, come on. Yeah, it's time of the life, eh? You either do or you don't, but you're pretty settled in your camp by 11. I tapped right out. Nah, I was out.

You tapped out of jazz ballet and into tap, I bet. Yeah. Tappity-tappity-tappity-tappity. A little bit of dance right there. No, yeah, good on you. He tried. He tried. I'm going to go and try.

Sorry, no. Good sass. Love it. Kira, thanks for your call. Ask some text messages. When I was a kid, I did horse riding. The first time I fell off, the tutor yelled at me to get back on, so I quit. I was not going to stand for it.

Tracy, what was the small reason you quit? So I joined up Pippin slash Girl Scouts for about a total of, I think, two and a half hours. It was after the dancing in circles and singing. I was out. No. You didn't want to do the dancing in circles and singing, I was out. You didn't want to do the dancing in circles? Nah, not into it. Not my thing. Right. How old were you when this dancing in circles was enough

to say no? I was about six and I remember crying at the window waiting for mum to come pick me up when I was out. See, six dancing in circles was my jam. I thought every six-year-old enjoyed a dance in a circle. Whatever you're into. Yeah.

It's like a dancing game of Duck, Duck, Goose. Thanks, you're cool, Tracy. Anita, what was the small reason for quitting? So I did flute for about seven years. I got into my second year of doing it at high school and they told me I had to join concert bands. I turned around and said, okay, I quit. What was it about concert

band that you didn't want? Did you not want the social sort of association with it? It wasn't the band part. It was the problem with the practicing, having to play on time and actually care about what I was doing. I was just enjoying myself. I was like, I don't want to lower the status of the entire concert band by doing this.

But I'm just going to do it. You're like, I'm Anita, baby. I'm a jazz flutist and I shan't be chained. That's a great compliment. If you'd have me play, you'd definitely have some different words to use. Thanks for your call, Anita. Karina, what was the small reason for quitting?

I was doing gymnastics, but they would only let me do the beam, and I wanted to do the bars where you flung yourself around. Yeah. Maybe you needed to work yourself up to the bars. Work your way up to the bars. Oh, why? I want to do the bar now. I don't have an answer for you.

Straight to the, you know, commitment. When I did gymnastics as a kid, everybody wanted to do the vault horse, you know, where you jump on the springy board and you jump over and the guy said, you're too young, you're not ready. And then everyone was nagging and he's like, all right, one of you gets to do it. And this kid nailed himself. Yeah, I remember a girl.

Ruined himself. I remember a girl hit the tramp and just went straight into the horse. Yeah. And, oh, my God, did we laugh. But it was horrible for her, I'm sure. They got chopped off at the knees, they ran, they jumped, but their legs hit the bottom of the box and they just my god did we laugh. But it was horrible for her I'm sure. So they got chopped off at the knees, they ran they jumped but their legs hit the bottom of the box and they just kind of boom.

I would have happily sacrificed myself to be that person. That's just how badly he wants to look. That was the tram. I get that. Karina thanks you. More messages. I quit soccer after our first game because I realised the running made my boobs fall out of my bra when I

ran. Right. Is that a bra malfunction? That could have been a bra situation. Clear. What was the small reason for quitting? I was in brownies and then girl guys for probably about eight years and then I just cracked after one more day of selling biscuits.

That's quite a commitment. Yeah. I was done. It was a straw. Was there quite a lot of competitiveness to selling the biscuits too? It feels like the sort of thing like some over-the-top dance mum gets involved and there's a real competitive nature. Yeah, there were some parents that bought everyone's whole stash

whereas other people like me had to do the whole slogging on the streets thing. Yeah, my mum would have had me out there slogging. Yeah, you want to do Girl Guides and do fun stuff. Yeah. Like dancing circles. Getting a lot of Girl Guide calls and messages. Sarah, what was the small reason you quit Girl Guides?

Yeah, well, when I learned that you had to do your own sort of sewing of badges once you earned those badges, I was like, this is not for me. I didn't sign up for this. I thought I was having fun. So, yeah. Wait, so you would earn the badge, but then they would give you the badge,

and you expected to hand over your sash and then get it back with the badge sewn on, but you had to do your own sewing? Yeah, and I thought, no, no, no. No, no, no. I've earned that badge. You sew it on for me. That's a fair call, though, isn't it?

Absolutely. You're not going to earn your sewing badge if you can't sew the badges onto your sand. Yeah, that's true. Also, I feel like this has really morphed into just a Girl Guides bashing session. Thanks for your call, Sarah. Oh, here's one for Scouts.

I quit Scouts after I was told I wasn't allowed to eat as many sausages as I want when we were doing a fundraising sausage sizzle. Yeah, eating the profits. Yeah. I quit brownies, so that's like Girl Guides before they're Girl Guides. I quit it five minutes after enrolling because I found out we had to wear brown, and I was like, no. I quit a netball team because our uniforms were brown,

and I was like, no, not my colour. What team had a brown uniform? We were a real small club, so I went to a bigger club because at least green was slightly better than brown. Who's dressing in brown? Yeah, that's not a good colour. Club colour represents the mud. Is there even, like,

are there any international sports teams that have brown uniforms? Brown. No, surely not. You've got your blues. Yeah. Even your yellows, your golds, your greens. It doesn't scream winners. Your reds. No. Your black and whites. It doesn't.

It screams winners. Brown! We come to play a good game. Hope you guys all have fun. We're the ones that are always in the bottom of the league. We're the Brown team. Fleshfawn and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day, the 50K fact of the day. You listen to the fact of the day now. And then at 12 o'clock with Georgia, 4 o'clock this afternoon with Brian Clint, a question about today's fact of the day will be asked. Yep. If you have the Day. You listen to the Fact of the Day now and then at 12 o'clock with Georgia, 4 o'clock this afternoon with Brian Clint, a question about today's Fact of the Day

will be asked. If you have the answer, $500. You've got to be listening out for the activator to get through it. It's all thanks to Save My Back

and a safe place to borrow money online. A share of $50,000 today's prizes at midday and four, $500 cash. Well, today's Fact of the Day

is about art and one of the most interesting fruits. I'm fascinated by this fruit. Do you know what it is? We've had fact of the day about this fruit. Bananas. Pineapple. Yes, pineapples.

Oh, okay. Fascinating. I just remembered. Because you're like, oh, they take three years to grow. They take three years to grow. And we disrespect them. Yeah, I've definitely disrespected a pineapple. I got one when it was like $2 and I was like, I'm going to eat this.

I'm definitely going to eat the whole thing. And then all of a sudden it goes real manky, fruit flies are all over it. And I'm like, you know what? I'm sorry. In the bin. Wasteful. Three years. That is disrespectful.

Down the bin. Three years they take to grow. That's not today's fact of the day, but I want everybody to remember that. Okay. That might not even be the question for later in the day. I just want everyone, when you're in the supermarket and you see a pineapple, be like, holy moly, three years. Like, disrespect an apple, sure.

No harm, no foul. Those things grow like apples. Yeah. And bananas, you know, those go brown and stuff. Never disrespect a pineapple. Never. And we get them when they're on special. Yeah.

They're so cheap. And they take three years to grow. Yeah, you said. You might have mentioned that. Unbelievable. People think this is going to be a quick buck to be made, planting a pineapple. Well, I hope you've got three years up your sleeve, pal.

For one. For one pineapple. Okay. And they don't grow on trees either. They grow to the ground like a cabbage. But that's not the fact. That's not the fact. I just want a general appreciation for the pineapple.

We appreciate it. Which around the world, English is one of the only languages that call them the pineapple. Don't tap your watch at me. This is a very important. I could talk for three years and do you know what would happen in that time? You'd grow a pineapple. One pineapple would grow. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is that in 2017

in the Robert Gordon University of Scotland, a man called Rua Iwi and Lloyd were walking through when they saw an empty exhibition stand. Okay. Where things get laid out. For example, I'm just thinking of the Auckland Museum. It might be things like old weaponry, like a greenstone patu or, you know,

things that have been found during archaeological digs. Like an old cheese grater? Never, but sure. And it's always white and there's a little badge in front of it that says what it is. But it's always white and it's well lit so you can get a real feel for what it looks like.

Yes. So they walked past and they saw one of those was empty. Okay. And it was at that stage that Rua Ira, Rua Ira, I'm not sure if I'm saying that right. Apologies if you're listening. Which you're not, but fine. And he at that stage reached into his backpack and pulled out a pineapple that he had purchased from the supermarket for one pound.

Okay. He put the pineapple on the display case. Okay. And walked away. And he said, we'll go back in a couple of days and we'll see if that pineapple's there. Okay. They came back four days later and there was a glass case over the pineapple with a little badge that said pineapple.

What? It's so great. When? And he said it was the best thing, probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Easily the funniest and best thing that happened in that year. Yeah, right. Later on, my honours supervisor saw it after I told him about it

and asked an art lecturer if it was real because he just couldn't believe it. So then a little bit of an investigation was launched into how a pineapple came to be a displayed piece of art in the Robert Gordon University in Scotland. Natalie was asked, she's the cultural assistant for the art festival that was happening, and

she said, well, I didn't put it there because I'm allergic to pineapple, but as far as I know, it was a display. Upon further investigation, they were moving an exhibition, so'd picked something up out of that spot and the very heavy glass case had been placed somewhere out of the way. That was at the stage

that these two gentlemen walked past and was like, empty display, pineapple, put the pineapple there and somebody must have thought well that old display's been moved the new display must be the pineapple so three gentlemen put the glass case back on top of it. Sometime after that, somebody walked past and said, this isn't

labelled. So the art labeller was like, what shall I label it? And they're like, pineapple, 2017. So it said pineapple, 2017. Wow. I'm imagining the men then returned to lift the heavy glass case, put the label under and pop it back down. But how long did that last?

Because it wasn't refrigerated. But then that's even the thing about it. If it started to rot, you can imagine an art lecturer being like, so the idea is it's a reflection upon our own fragility. It won't last forever. Nothing lasts forever. And, you know, in its conditions, it takes three years to reach a maturity

but then pluck it and put it somewhere out of its comfort zone. Only days pass before it's manky. It's a reflection upon life itself. You can imagine how that would have happened. So today's fact of the day is in

2017 a one pound pineapple became an art display. Fact of the day is in 2017, a one-pound pineapple became an art display. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We're joined on the phone by Alan. Good morning, Alan. Morning, how are you? Well, very good.

Thank you very much. Now, you're joining us because, I mean, this is ongoing. I've seen it in the news articles. I think I saw you guys on 7 Sharp. There was an airplane flying around Auckland yesterday towing one of those behind-the-plane ad things. A sky ad. They're always like, rug sale on now. But that was advertising the Facebook page,

bring Dyson Weed home, and Dyson Weed are your two dogs, and they've been missing since October last year. Yeah, nine months. It's been a long, hard nine months, too. I bet it has. But so you're in Otago. Yeah, in Dunedin's been a long, hard nine months too. I bet it has. But so you're in Otago. Yeah, in Dunedin. In Dunedin.

So why are you flying a plane? Why do you think you're in Auckland? Well, they were last seen tied to a camper van. So from that, they could be anywhere in New Zealand. Wow, okay. And when were they last seen? The day after they went missing. So just middle of October last year.

Oh, my God. So there's somebody out there. We just don't know where, and our thing is to get as many people as possible knowing about them. Because you're right, if it was a camper van travelling around, it could be anywhere.

Yeah, that's right. It could be far north. It could be anywhere in New Zealand. Do you still, I don't want to be negative here, but are you still holding out hope that you'll get them back or do you just kind of not know how to stop at this stage? Because as you say, nine months. Yeah, yeah, well, we can feel them out there somewhere.

We know that they're somewhere, they're alive. We even think they're together. We believe that they're living remotely somewhere, somewhere out alive, and we even think they're together. We believe that they're living remotely somewhere, you know, somewhere out the back blocks, either they're working on a farm or we just don't know. But we have, I wouldn't even say hope, we're positive we'll get them back at some stage, we just

don't know when. We just need to find that one person that knows something. Right, and, because, I mean, a plane ad isn't cheap, how much do you reckon you would have spent on, like, stuff like that and all the adverts that you've put up all over the country? Oh, yeah. We think it's over $20,000 now.

Wow. That's a lot of money. We've got to give a little page that we've had a huge amount of support on. We've got a huge following throughout New Zealand too, which is, you know, we couldn't do it without them. Wow, you must really love these dogs. When Fletch said ads everywhere,

Executive Intern Anya was saying when she went up north to, where did you go up? Whangarei, Paihe, she saw ads up there and then recently went down south to see her sister in Timaru and saw the ads down there as well.

So you've literally just spread it far and wide across New Zealand. Well, we have no option. I mean, these dogs are family to us. You mentioned family before, and that's exactly what they are. They're family. Right. Have you had any tips?

Has anyone given you anything to go off in the nine months? Not to wee leads and things, but they've always turned out to be nothing, or the dogs that have been seen have disappeared. Right. It's been pretty hard. But, I mean, we've gone this far now. It's been quite a journey. Yeah.

We're now held not hold no anger. For a while there we were a bit angry and, you know, how can people do this? But now we just want the dogs back. So whoever's got them, just need to hand them in to a vet or something. We're not going to prosecute. We're not going to, you know, charge them or follow them up.

We just want the dogs back. Yeah. Just want the babies back. Oh, heartbreaking. Well, the Facebook page, if you can help out at all. Bring Dice and Weed Home. If you search that, you can find Alan's details. Best of luck, Alan.

Yeah, good luck. I hope, like, after all this that you've been through, you get your dogs back. No, I really appreciate your help with it. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Fletch Warner Megan's name suppression. All right, up for grabs. I'm going to do this

every day this week. A pair of Panasonic's new S500 true wireless earbuds with noise cancelling and $200 cash. Now, this is how name suppression works. Megan is currently wearing the Panasonic True Wireless earbuds.

What's up? Okay, inside voice. Vaughn, you're playing some loud music. Yes, I am. What did you go for? Some classic rock? Nirvana smells like teen spirit. Oh, yes.

Very loud. So you can't hear us. No. But I can see that you said you can't hear us. No. But I can see that you said, you can't hear us. Yeah, you did that thing. You did that thing that the hearing impaired love is when you start opening your mouth really loud. Don't go too quick.

I can't see what you're doing there. You went too fast. I was talking to him. Okay. Okay, now joining us on the phone now is Coral. Good morning. Morning. Okay, so we now have 10 seconds to try and get your very unique name to Megan.

Oh, good luck. It will look like we're saying, it even sounds like we're saying Carl, but in American accent. It does. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to just give thumbs up. Are you ready?

Okay, I'm guessing. Yeah. Okay, stand by. You've got 10 seconds starting now. Coral. Coral. Corny. Coral.

Coral. What? Coral. Colin. Coral. Colt. No. Coral, I'm sorry.

Don't worry. It was Coral. Coral. Coral. Colin. Coral, I'm sorry. Don't worry. It was Coral. Coral. Coral. Colin. Coral. Joining us on the phone, Alicia.

Good morning. Hi, how's it going? Good. All right. 10 seconds starts. Ready? Are you ready? Ready.

I'm ready. Ready. Your 10 seconds starts now. Alicia. Alicia. Alicia. Alicia. Alicia. Ashley.

Alicia. Alicia. Alicia. Alicia. Ashley. Alicia. Alicia. Alicia. Alicia. Alicia. Are we giving that to her? Yes. Yes.

Yay. Alicia, congratulations. Well done. You can take them out now. Thank you. How's that noise cancelling? I can't hear a thing. Yeah, that was absolutely baffling.

That was great. Hey, congratulations. You've won a pair of Panasonic's new S500 true wireless earbuds, industry-leading dual hybrid noise cancelling, as Megan can attest to. They are very good. Awesome. And also IPX4 water resistant, so perfect for a sweaty gym session. You've won those and $200 cash.

Congratulations, Alicia. Thank you so much. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And New Zealand lives here.

ZM.