ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 27th May 2020

Episode Date: May 26, 2020

Frozen Chip Dramas   TikTok'Tatos   Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name  What has your Partner never seen you do?  Riveting Mouthwash ChatSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's all thanks to McDonald's. Your Macca's favourites are back at drive-thru and McDelivery. ZM. Hit music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Good morning. Hello. We'll just wait while you get your headphones out. I'm just going to pop those in. I didn't think I had my swipe card today until I made the security guy buzz me in like I was some sort of royalty and then I found it in my back pocket. I was like, that's where you've been.

Your silly old card. One of those days, is it? Yeah, it does feel like one of those days. There's definitely a nap on the horizon. Yeah. The top six. What's on the top six agenda today? Well, we're going to be discussing the top six things.

Why to the Nationals front bench? You have to go pretty far down the national party list to find anybody of any ethnic diversity other than white. White on white. What was that meme that was doing the rounds last night? Corey Gonzalez-McEwitt shared the top 12

and it said 12 mild butter chickens, please. Just all 12 really white people. I searched I opened up the party list Which has the rankings And I searched the word Māori So I was looking for Māori Affairs Minister I found at number 35

The first mention of anybody With anything Māori in their portfolios Underneath them Māori Crown Relations and Māori Tourism So that's 35 and 37 Respectively so obviously. So that's 35 and 37 respectively. So obviously a government that's taking Māori affairs very seriously. Yeah.

But it's pretty white up there, guys. But it can always get whiter. The top six were things that are whiter than the National Party. Front row. All right. The game, I bet I can guess your mum's name, makes a return today. How are you feeling? Oh. You feeling some good vibes? name, Max, to return today. How are you feeling? Oh.

You feeling some good vibes? Not overly confident. No, not confident today? No. Oh, downplay it. Downplay it. Have a couple of coffees. Yeah.

You'll be right. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. We are being asked to support local at the moment. Yes. One of the areas where we should support local is potatoes. All things potatoes. You may remember a few weeks ago,

Belgians were being encouraged to really double down on their potato consumption because the exports, the amount they usually exported was cut. It was quite low. And they had a lot of tattoos. They had a great season for growing tattoos. So there was this huge amount of potatoes. Now, they couldn't sit around forever. So they got turned lot of tattoos. They had a great season for growing potatoes so there was this huge amount of potatoes. Now they couldn't sit around forever

so they got turned into potatoes that will last longer in the form of French fries, wedges, pump-styled chips and steak fries. Yeah. Chuck them in the freezer.

All delicious things. Those cookable potato skins, had those potato skins? Oh yeah, yum. How good are those? So good. Do you know what, I think it's salt and aioli

are doing a fair bit of heavy lifting on the potato skins. They really are.? So good. Do you know what? I think it's salt and aioli are doing a fair bit of heavy lifting on the potato skins. They really are. But delicious regardless. Now, the problem is they're looking to offload these around the world, and we have many potato growers here in Aotearoa. Great spot to grow the humble tate. Yeah.

And they are also saying, whoa, we've got heaps of potatoes here. We're in a semi-similar situation. Right. So we shouldn't be importing spuds, fries, wedges, chunky chips. Just eat our own. Thin fries. We've shoestring fries. We've got our own.

Yeah. Right. Dwight, do we need to go down to the port and do a protest and hold up a sign? Don't import spuds. Your spuds are duds. Your spuds are duds. Your spuds are duds. Oh, it's a good sign. New Zealand spuds.

Yes. We say no's to your potatoes. Not as good. Not as good. Okay. As your spuds are duds. What else do we call potatoes? Chippies.

Your wedges are dumb. That doesn't rhyme. Your wedges are dumb. Two't rhyme Your wedges are dumb 2, 4, 6, 8 Keep your wedges out the gate I don't want to eat your spuds I don't want to eat We have our own Potatoes

Tates Tates 2, 4, 6, 8 We got our own tates We got our own tates Yeah Etc, etc Right Or we could just like own tapes. We got our own tapes. Yeah. Et cetera, et cetera. Right.

Or we could just like really double down on eating our chippies. Our chippies. Yeah, New Zealand chippies. We've got to be sure of the origins of our chippies. Right. Right. To help the farmers. I'm willing to do my part.

Yeah. Because I remember when things started reopening and fast food reopened, I remember reading Maccas did a huge potato order. So they had to order a lot. Right. For the fries. But I guess it's, and now we're starting,

you know, we're back out in restaurants and fast food now, aren't we? Yep. A lot of the world not. They're not, no. It's all this food's piling up.

Yeah. But well, that's the situation. Okay. Is that we've got to eat our own potatoes. Right. Okay. Easy. We love chips. Yep. Is that we've got to eat our own potatoes. Right. Okay. Easy.

We love chips. Yeah. Question that when chips come out. Where are these chips from? Yeah. Restaurant people will know. Will they? No.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. This is a little bit gross, but there's been a study done into couples and the gross habits they do in front of each other. They've done a top 20 most commonly practiced gross habits. Okay.

I'll just maybe take you through like the top four and I can tell you that the top four, mostly done by women. It breaks it down by percentage too. What does that say? Women are gross. Well no, as I go further down the list, there's like farting on each other and that's mainly men. That's funny.

Farting on each other. That's good stuff. Yeah. Wiping your partner's nose. Mostly men do that. What? That's weird. You don't want to see a little boogs, do you? So you just wipe it. So you lean across and give them a little boogs wipe. Yeah, that's weird.

So the top four is using your partner's deodorant. Most women do that more than men, 45%. Sniffing partner to see if they smell. 47% of women do that. Discussing your defecation

with your partner. This is the second most commonly practiced gross behaviour. Right. Talking about your piss. I feel that's you, Vaughan. You come back and you're like, that commonly practiced gross behavior. Right. Talking about your purse. I feel that's you, Vaughn. You come back and you're like, that was a good one.

Yes, definitely. Because you do that here. You do that here. 53% of women do that and 41% of men. 53% of women? Yeah. Come on. Woo wee.

Break it down. I can imagine you doing that. No. No. No. No. But the number one gross behaviour practised by couples, and apparently it strengthens your bond,

is urinating in front of each other. 51% are women and 50% are men. Well, one's in the shower, the other one just pops in and uses the toilet. Or you're just in there brushing your teeth. I wouldn't even call that a gross habit. That wouldn't even register as a gross habit. It's just using the toilet while they're using the bathroom or something.

Not the top. It's not really. I've never done that. Like me going for number ones. Yeah. I just like, it's just like not necessary. That's weird. That's just, I draw the line, okay?

But you're saying that because you've got a bathroom where the toilet's in the bathroom. Everything's in the one bathroom, yeah. If you're having a shower and Mr. Toyboy's busting for a number ones. So I turn around and he goes, so he has technically, yeah. And I don't want to see. That's weird. Why would I want to see? Why do you turn around like it's something to be embarrassed about? Why would I want to watch? That's weird. Why would I want to see? Why do you turn around like it's something to be embarrassed about?

Why would I want to watch? That's weird. But what would you do if he was in the shower and you needed the number ones? I wait. That's so weird. I'd like bang on the thing and be like, can you hurry? I need to go pee. Why am I the weird one?

I feel attacked. I think that's just weird because you don't want to like, you've seen it all. Well, yeah, apparently people who do this like go wheeze in front of each other have a stronger bond. Yeah. Well there you go, maybe you need to turn around and look. No, there's nothing wrong with our bond. Turn around.

Wheeze time. So you just like sit in there and do your business. Would Sade go wheeze in front of you? Yeah. Wheeze, yes. But I still don't know if she's ever pooped. Yeah, you don't. Yeah.

She keeps that a secret. Yeah. So she's not one of the 53% of women that have discussed the poops. No. Yeah. Producer Mountie was like, you don't know what you're missing. I thought she was saying that as a joke though. Oh, was she?

You make me sound like some sort of pervert. Yeah, yeah. She's not a pervert, Megan. No, but do you guys just like all the time just go wee? Yeah, just leave the door open. Yeah. Have a chat. Yeah, have a chat.

Yeah. Why are you? Okay. No, I don't want to be too gross about it. I was going to say, what if like when you're doing wees, like a little poop? This happens every time my partner goes wheeze. And I'm like, shut the door.

Do a little fart. Yeah, that's fine. That happens. And look at their bond. Strong as ever. Yeah, right. Yeah. Okay.

Maybe you just need to turn around. No, you're fine. Turn around and engage. Yeah, no, I'm all right. There's an influencer from Australia that has made the news. Jade is her name. She's a fashion influencer. She's got 440, it says two here, but I just went on her Instagram.

I think it's 443,000 Instagram followers. That's a lot. Yeah. So she's Sydney based and she- Is she hot? Yeah. Always helps. I don't know, she... Is she hot? Yeah. Always helps. It always helps, right?

Well, that's certainly why my fashion blog in Korea hasn't got off. It didn't take off, yeah. So I'm just a minger. So much what you're wearing, it's what you're putting it on. Yeah, pretty much. That's all. If that's you, you're not going to be a... Mate, I haven't been asked to model any fashion over.

Have I? No one's coming to me and saying, do you want to chuck on what a fashion over makes? Short skirts? Boob tubes? Yeah, no, you're not being asked. Fashion over's not knocking on the door. No.

Let's get that junk in a trunk or something. Yeah. Well, Jade doesn't do fashion over. She's more of a Chanel Dior kind of girl. Oh, wow. Very beautifully collaborated Instagram account. What's her Instagram handle? Jade.

T-U-N-C-H-Y. T-U-N-C-H-Y. Tunchi. Tunchi, yeah. Tunchduruk. I think so. She's a tunchi. So she's made the news because during the pandemic,

like this is what she does. Gross. Vaughn's just madeunchy. So she's made the news because during the pandemic, like this is what she does. Gross. Vaughn's just made her account. So she's hot. She's very attractive. Yeah, right. She's a little bit Emily Ratatowski. Oh, so that's, yeah, okay.

A little bit, yeah. We've lost Vaughn. During the pandemic, this is her job. She collaborates and works with fashion houses and stuff. And she earns money for it. So during the pandemic, she refused to reduce her rates for each post. It says here that she could get between $1,300 to $2,200 for a sponsored Instagram post. And there were people coming to her, brands were coming to her asking to do it for free or to reduce her prices.

Right. And she said no. And she's been absolutely hounded for it. How much of a reduction were they after? Well, she said that some of them wanted reduced rates and then others wanted her to work for free. But would she have said not working for free? That would be like if your work said, hey, for the next while we're just expecting you to turn up to work and work

for nothing? Yeah. She said, I'm very surprised that these organisations are willing to throw relationships down the drain after such a long time. Each to their own, but I personally wouldn't sever ties with someone who I valued for years. Wow. So, yeah. But would she at least be getting a free, like, piece of clothing or an item?

It doesn't pay the rent, though, does it? No, I don't know if my landlord would take a Dior something. Well, it's just getting rid of it. Where do you sell that? Facebook Marketplace? Everyone will just think it's fake. Yeah, exactly. I feel a bit sorry for them because it's a new kind of, like,

job that people don't really understand. But it is still the way that she makes money. And she has 443,000 followers. It's an advertising industry, which isn't a new industry. It's just a new medium to sell advertising on. Yeah. But she's put her foot down and said, no, I'm not reducing her rates.

When you see her Instagram, though, it's beautiful. It's very well collaborated and shot. Her boyfriend is one of those guys that you see with a shirt on and you're like, oh, okay, he's doing well. And then with a shirt off, you're like, I see what's going on here. He's an incredibly well-built individual. Yeah, right. Okay, so we've lost Vaughn again.

First him. Platonic appreciation. First hurting him. Megan, you've got the latest next. He is hot in the face. What are you talking about? Hot with clothes on. No, yeah, okay.

I'll give you that. Got a good bod though, didn't he? Have you scrolled down and found those bod pics? No, not yet. You're not all right. I'm saving that for when. There's your one o'clock Jonas. No.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Today's top six dealing with this rejigged national party. She's pretty white up top.

She's pretty white all the way through. Can we mention the meme that we mentioned before? The 12 mild butter chickens, pretty white All the way through Can we mention the meme That we mentioned before The 12 mild butter chickens Please Yeah Picture of the top 12

And they're all white Yeah I'll have 12 mild butter chickens So good So Paula Bennett At number 13 on the list Yeah

She was Simon Bridges' Second in command The two I see So whenever the leaders change Those deputies always Slip down the rankings as well. Yeah. She is the highest person with any Māori descent. Okay.

In the National Party. Her paternal grandmother was half Māori, so that's a tainui connection. Right. But other than that... But there was a claim yesterday. There was a claim yesterday there was a claim yesterday that number five on the

list, Paul Goldsmith of course that's a very Māori sounding name isn't it? It is, yeah. Goldsmith? Yeah. There was a claim that he had Māori ancestry. Paul Goldsmith of Ngāti Porou. Make it quite clear, I am not

Māori myself. The Goldsmith family have many connections with Ngāti Porou? No, no, make it quite clear. I am not Maori myself. The Goldsmith family have many connections with Nati Porou. So you heard there, Nicky Kay, Deputy Leader of the National Party, saying Paul Goldsmith had Maori ancestry. And then immediately Paul Goldsmith saying, let me be quite clear, I don't have any Maori ancestry. I know a couple of people from

Matty Perot. Matty Perot. That was brilliant. He looks so white. He looks like a Thunderbirds puppet. Paul Goldsmith. He does. He does. He's got like the, by the

book, textbook, blonde Hitler Youth come over. He does. Good Lord. Yeah, he doesn't look particularly. Not that you need to. I've got a friend who's one quarter Maldi, and she doesn't look it. Yeah.

But she's also not Paul Goldsmith. And you kind of want to be sure of these things before you go on record saying them. Yeah. But she's pretty white. Then again, after the brief brown break that is Paula Bennett at 13, it's... I'm still scrolling. At number 37 on the list is the first mention of anybody with a mouldy in their portfolio.

The spokesperson for mouldy development, Joe Hayes, is at number 37 on the list. And that's also, yeah, the first mention of any mouldy portfolio. So very diverse. So diverse. So diverse. But could be whiter. The top six things whiter than the National Front Bench.

Number six, talcum powder. Only just. Yeah. Only just whiter than the National Front Bench. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six things whiter than the National Party Front Bench, a beluga whale. Oh, those are so cute, eh?

Yeah. So cute. Have you seen that one playing with the rugby ball or the ball? Yes. Yes. I know, it's so cute. They threw it, eh? Yeah.

They threw it back. It's a whale playing with a ball. Yes. Yes. I know, it's so cute. They threw it, eh? Yeah. They threw it back. It's a whale playing with a ball. Yeah. Yeah. But, very white. Very white.

Very white. Number four on the list of the top six things whiter than the National Party front bench. A lovely fetter.

Oh, yeah. A crumbly, a crumbly fetter. Some fetters are cream. Kind of like a cream colour, but not very white. Yeah, I'm thinking about fresh crumbly. Yeah. The crumbly fetters always seem fetish is a cream. Kind of like a cream colour. Yeah, I'm thinking of a fresh crumbly. The crumbly fetish always seem to be quite white.

White, yeah, you're right. Like very white. Very white. Number three on the list of the top six things whiter than the National Party front bench. A ghost. Traditional white sheeted ghost. Number two on the list of the top six things

whiter than the National Party front bench. Twink. Twinks? Twink. Twink. Twink. Very white. Singular twink.

Not plural twinks. But they can be very white too. They can be. Yeah. But no, twink, the stuff you would use to go over a mistake made with a ballpoint pen yes yeah

and number one on the list of the top six things wider than the national party front bench this radio show touche yeah but at the same time

Fletch has been called a Murray in Christchurch before after a long summer when we did the cricket tour spending a lot of hours in the sun, somebody said to me, I didn't know you were a Murray.

Oh my god. I was like, a what? No, my name is Fletch. Murray. Oh my god. We were just both gobsmacked, weren't we? It was quite something to hear. And that was even in like 2004.

Yeah. Different time. Different time. Different time. That is today's top six. There's a tourism plan that Japan want to put in place. A whopping $19.51 billion. Okay, so we can't steal this idea.

No. Because I don't think we've got that much, have we? I don't know how much. Let me just check. I'll just log on to the country's online banking. Okay. The password is allblacksrule!1234. Yeah.

Allblacksrule. All Blacks rules. Rules. All Blacks rules. How much have we got? Oh, shit, guys. It's not good. Yeah, no. When's payday for the country?

Friday. Hang in there, New Zealand. So, yeah, they plan to put like $19 billion into helping foreigners come to Japan. They want to subsidise holidays. What would the, Google, what would the average New Zealand tourist spend? Because that's actually not a bad idea. If you subsidise, like, say, for example, you gave $500 off an airfare to New Zealand, how much more are we going to get from the tourists when they get here?

New figures are real. The average tourist to New Zealand spends $4,665 when visiting New Zealand. Each tourist injects that amount of money into the economy. Wow. That was 2019. Oh my god, guys, remember in 2019? We were like, can't get any worse.

Remember when we were all saying that? Yeah. Can't get any worse. Some guy, I tell you who's pretty stoked on this COVID thing. That guy that left his blowtorch on on the Sky City.

Because that's a distant memory now. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. The smoke in inner city Auckland's terrible. I might have to

wear a mask. I'm not wearing a mask. Never mind. Not a mask. You'll never see me wear a mask. I don't know why this mask. You'll never see me wear a mask. I don't know why this person survived this.

I assume they're standing too close to the Sky City fire. I don't know whether or not enough. That was like real bad. There's lots of things

that have been overlooked due to COVID. But yeah, they plan to subsidise half of the travel expenses. So I don't know what that, whether you just like hit it hard

and then like you get half of your bill back or whether it's just the flights. Yeah, or maybe you land and you get like a $500 tourist voucher to spend at certain places. I'd love, Japan's on my list. Yeah. I'd love to go there

when this whole thing blows over. Any country that gave me anything, even if it was just like a $20 voucher, I'd be like, okay. Especially Japan. You haven't been, eh? No, but I really want to. Everybody that goes like, oh my god, I loved it, but it's very expensive. Is it? Yeah.

It's very expensive. Because I like places that, like, the flights are the most expensive part, and then you get there and you're like, yeah, I'm rich, baby. Southeast Asia. Yeah. You're such a barley bitch. I've never been to Bali. Yeah, for such a barley bitch you've never been.

It's quite amazing. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I hope I'm not the only one. Nailed it. Thanks. That was a bit better. Thanks. Well, I just let him do the I. Yeah, right. And I came in after that. Yeah, okay. They. That was a bit better. Thanks. Well, I just let him do the I.

Yeah, right. And I came in after that. Yeah. Okay. They. That's the tricks of the trade. Pardon me? I beg your pardon. I apologize.

That is Sam Smith. They. Yes. They came in after that. Okay. Marie. Good morning, Marie. Good morning.

Now, we asked for people to submit their little quirks, their little habits, the things that they think maybe they're alone in, and what did you submit? Oh, this is riveting, isn't it? Don't come on our show and slate our show. Oh, here I am at the precipice of boring radio. Sat up here like a pariah. I love this. I love Marie already.

Okay, Marie, hit us. I keep my salt in the fridge. No. Marie. I told you it was riveting. No, but there's moisture. You'll get dribbles. No, no, no.

It's the opposite. If you're soaked out, and I'm going to say moist in the morning, it gets wet. No better time. It doesn't do that in the fridge. You must have a very moist pantry. Yes. Marie's moist pantry.

How are you? Okay. What about Pussy? Okay, this started years ago, and we lived in a very old villa. And yeah, it kind of had a bit of indoor-outdoor flow. Okay. Then we moved into a motorhome while we built our new house, and that kind of had indoor-outdoor flow.

And the salt goes hard. And so I learned if you keep it in the fridge, now it's got creep. Now it lives next door to the pepper and some herbs. In the fridge? What? They stay fresh. You put pepper in the fridge and salt. Well, you're not going to walk from the fridge to get my salt. It's for the pantry to get my pepper.

You're right. Salt and pepper, it's weird to see. I always freak out when I see pepper without salt and vice versa. I'm like, where's the other one? Yeah. But then to move the whole herb rack into the fridge because you can't be bothered going to the pantry. You haven't got those herbs that are in boxes, have you?

No, I've upgraded to the little glass jars. Oh, yeah, that's nice. Do you leave those in the fridge, the little glass jars? Yeah. When you built your new house, did you not put in a spice drawer? No, because they're in the fridge. It's the whole top shelf. It should open the little bougie door.

The whole top shelf. The whole, like, in the door, in the door shelf. Doesn't it say store in a cool, dry place? The fridge wouldn't be considered a in a cool, dry place? The fridge wouldn't be considered a dry place. It is a cool, dry place. Would it be dry? The fridge must be dry because otherwise there's saltwood cake. More in there than in a moist pantry.

This is madness. Okay, well, this is how the segment works, is we want to see if Marie is alone in this, if she is the only one in New Zealand that leaves his salt in the fridge. You're right, Marie. This was riveting radio. No, I think it's been a thoroughly interesting debate. And you want to try now, don't you?

No. No, mine just goes to the shelf. Because I know there are people that will put grains of rice in the salt. Yep. So that it absorbs any moisture. Oh, I just put those do not eat silica gel things in mine. But I find the paper a pain in the ass, so I rip it open and pour them in. That's what I do.

Sometimes they end up... I know, we should say now. Actually, the minute we, yeah, when you said don't say that, I was like, oh, yeah, we better clarify. To the people that burn down 4G towers, that think they're 5G towers that still actually do nothing, that's not a good idea. Okay, well, we want to see if Marie is alone in this.

So if you keep your salt in the fridge, 0800 dials at M right now or text in 9696. And then Marie, if nobody calls, I guess you are the only one. I am the weirdo, yeah. All right, well, let's see. Give us a call. Stand by, Marie. Stand by, Marie. Thank you. Let's see if you are the only one. You are the only one. I am the weirdo. Yeah. All right. Well, let's see. Give us a call. Stand by, Marie.

Stand by, Marie. Thank you. Let's see if you are the only one. So we just heard from Marie before. Trying to find those people that think they're alone in something. The only one doing something. Yeah. Maybe something quirky you do.

Something odd. And Marie said she keeps the salt in the fridge. And only one doing something. Yeah. Maybe something quirky you do, something odd. And Marie said she keeps the salt in the fridge. And all of her herbs. Bizarre. That is bizarre. Taking up prime fridge real estate. I felt like the herbs was a way to move then. Yeah.

Yeah, same. We have had some text messages in. Somebody said that the fridge is very dry. Yeah. Due to its very dry. Yeah. Due to its cold nature. Yeah, yeah. It's much drier than maybe Marie's moist pantry. Yep. Which have been

problematic and led her to keeping her salt in the fridge. Yeah. Hmm. Jenny, good morning. Good morning. You do this? Yes, I do. Right. It keeps the moisture out because it's just dry Yes, I do. Right. It keeps the moisture out because it's just dry air in the fridge. Do you live in a humid environment, Jenny?

No, I live in Auckland. Auckland's very humid though, isn't it? It is, yeah. It's a very humid city. Jenny, you sound like you'd get on lovely with Marie. Marie? Hi. Jenny does it too.

Oh, see? We're not all mad. When did you start, Ginny? When did you start refrigerating salt? I just don't know what to say about it. 19 minutes past seven. And we're just talking to Marie and Ginny about why they refrigerate salt. Good morning.

Good morning. You're on North Norfolk Radio Digital. Why did you start doing it, Jenny? Sorry? When did you start doing it? Ages ago or is this a recent

thing? Ages ago. Ages ago and you've never had any problems? No. Now do you have a salt shaker or a salt grinder? A grinder. Aha! The plot seconds! Because even if you had a grinder and there was some clumpiness, the grinder could

unclump it as it ground. No, it doesn't. It kind of goes wet. It goes wet? It doesn't come out. I've got the pink salt and white salt. The salt with the little man on it. Oh, okay. You've got many different salts.

Okay. The Cerebros, he's chasing a chicken. Now, I'm still, for years I've wondered why the Cerebros Because he wants to salt the chicken. Why? It's still alive. Because he wants to eat it. Because it's salt that runs.

Jenny and Marie, Jenny and Marie, I'm just going to bring in Nicola here. Nicola, you sound like you want to join Jenny and Marie. Yeah, I think just going to bring in Nicola here. Nicola, you sound like you want to join Jenny and Marie. Yeah, I think they're genius. Is this how cults start? No, see, I'm open to it. I think they're on to something. This is better than a Kmart hat.

Would you agree then, Nicola, the pepper's got to go in the fridge with the salt? No, see, it does become a whole thing. But in terms of, like salt. Yeah, no, see, it does become a whole thing, but in terms of like, if you're someone, because you know how you're meant to put like salt to hand and then over your food in the pot, and I

never do because I'm lazy, so I grind salt straight into the pot and then you get the steam into your salt, and then it runs the pump, whereas if you then put it in the fridge it's a dehydrator. Try that. It will undo your bad behaviour.

Yes. Wait, so you're supposed to not, you're not supposed to put salt straight into a pot due to the steam situation. See, I do that. Yeah, I clog up my salt. And so you can tell how much salt you're exactly putting in. Ah, this is another guess, isn't it, with a grinder? Yeah.

Right. It's always a guess with a grinder. It really is. You never know what's going to turn up. You're rolling the dice. No. Marie, you're not the only one. And Marie, not only are you not the only one, Marie, you've converted Nicola.

Fantastic. Jenny, thank you as well. Riveting segment. Great radio there. That's good stuff. That's what wins awards. It is. Right there.

Save that for an award entry. Put that in an award entry. So that I can help. Hey, no, thank you. Your name will go on an award entry. Put that in an award entry. That I can help. Hey, no, thank you. Your name will go on the award too. Oh, God. Next on the show, just when you thought it couldn't get any more exciting, TikTok potatoes.

I think we were just saying TikTok-tatoes for alliteration purpose there. Okay, great. Hot. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Well, great. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast ZM. Pre-show this morning, even before we were paid money by

Big Potato, Big Tate's. That's like Big Pharma, but instead of medicines, it's Big Potatoes. Keep an eye out for a conspiracy theorist near you going on Facebook with some anti-potato chat. We were talking about potatoes pre-show

and our executive intern, Anya, said last night, you made the crunch, and correct me if I'm wrong, the quote was the crunchiest roast potatoes you've ever had. This definitely sounds like we should be on a more mature station. Like coming up next, we're going to talk about how to nail those roast potatoes. No, you watch us relate this to the youth because where did you find that recipe for potatoes?

On TikTok. TikTok. You've done that, Doug. Yeah, I know, but I'm just doing a TikTok song. Yeah, right. I'm super lonely. Is this the first time TikTok has influenced dinner? Yeah.

Is this a new way to settle the argument what's for dinner tonight? Yes, but I actually also got a cocktail recipe from TikTok. Right. That was yum. That was really yum. Now I can see that was yum. What was the cocktail? The cocktail was one of those cyclone ice blocks

was the secret ingredient. Oh, yeah. And you put that with some vodka and some lemonade. Do you melt an ice block? No, you just shove it in the blender and then it makes quite an aggressive noise. So you have to take the stick out? Yes.

Yes, yes, yes. I just thought that could be the fibre part. Nah, there's no fibre in the cocktail. Right. And yeah, that was an absolute hoot. But we didn't have the cocktails last night. Oh, okay, that was previous. We've been too much TikTok.

Previously on TikTok. Yeah. And so these potatoes, what's the secret? Oh, God. I'm sorry, but how can a potato recipe on TikTok be... No, I've got a feeling it's the technique. But what are you... You said it's roast potatoes. You don't need a TikTok recipe to tell you how to... No, I've got a feeling it's the technique. But what are you... You said it's roast potatoes.

You don't need a TikTok recipe to tell you how to... No, no, no. There's special crunchy ones. There's roast potatoes and then there's roast potatoes. Like, after eating these, I'm like, I'm ready to start a potato shop. A potato shop? Yeah, yeah.

The New Zealand potato growers are screaming out for more outlets for potatoes. What will your shop be? You just open it, it like on Queen Street. Yes. And what do you have in there? Just potatoes. It's a drive-by window.

Okay. And people say, crunchy potatoes, please. And I say, you've come to the right place. I've been down for that. TikTok potatoes. Yeah. That's what it should be called. Would TikTok come for me, though?

Would they want to cut? Yeah, they would. Would they want to slice? You'd have to do that thing they do in Southeast Asia. Same, same, different. So like, TikTok, taties. So, tic-toc, taties. So it's closed and you use the same font. Are you going to have a delivery?

Because this sounds good. You know what could deliver tic-toc tatos? Tell me. A tuk-tuk. Oh my God. Yes. Here comes the tic-toc tatos tuk-tuk. No, it's tac-tuk.

Tac-tuk. Because you can't use tic-toc. And you know what people could do while they wait for their tic-toc tatos? Play tic-tac-toe on the wall outside. Great. Yeah, this is great. And then after, they could for their tic-tac-toes. Play tic-tac-toe on the wall outside. Great. Yeah, this is great. And then after, they could have a tic-tac.

To freshen their breath. Well, I'm still hanging out to hear how these are made. Yeah, how are they special? Okay. So, you boil them. Uh-huh.

Don't roast it. No, no, no. Not yet. Oh, okay. Hold your horses there. Oh, okay. Okay, so, you put them in a boiling pot

with a bit of salt, right? So you've peeled them, you've cut them, they're all good to go. They're boiling. 12 minutes. Put your phone timer on, okay? You don't want to mess that up. Are you about to say don't peel potatoes that you roast? Just scrub them? No. Okay. Because then you get that lovely

that jacket-y texture involved as well. Some people don't like that, Vaughn. And I can't be bothered. If they've got mud on them, I'm just peeling. I can't be bothered washing. Okay, carry on. And so we're boiling 12 minutes and then we're putting in the fridge. Yep.

In the fridge? Cooling down. On a cooling rack. What? So you take them out of the water. Yep. Put them on a rack. Yep.

Put that rack in the fridge. How long for? How long for? Till cold. Till cold? 10 minutes. Not freezing cold, but like, oh, that's been a bit. Okay. 10 minutes. And then you put them back in the fridge. How long for? How long for? Till cold. Till cold? So about 10 minutes. Not freezing cold, but like, oh, that's a bit nippy. Okay.

10 minutes. And then you put them back in the pot and then you whew them around. What, you just kind of shake them around to rough up the edges? Rough them up. Do you rough them up? Do you have any like melted butter in there at this stage or something? No, no, no. Ghee?

No, no. Okay, carry on. And then you get the roasting dish and you put like two inches of oil. Two inches of oil? That is five centimetres of oil. I didn't say they were healthy potatoes. Yeah, and then, oh, my God. And you flip them every 15 minutes, 200, bake. Oh, my Lord.

Wow. You're putting an oven tray roasting dish with two inches of oil. That's a whole, that's like five litres of oil. Yeah, and in other news, we need more oil. I don't think you needed that much oil to get it in. Okay, those Taktok Teddies sound real yum. Yeah, yeah. Come see me on 182 Queen Street.

I'll be there. Are you Googling what's at 182 Queen Street? I love you. Photo warehouses currently. I bought them out. Wow. Power play. Okay, great.

Power play. All right. Good spot beside that lane there too. Yeah. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Well, we won't be heading overseas for any summer festivals anytime soon, but we don't need to because we have one on our shores. And we have the co-founder and director of Rhythm and Vines on the phone right now. Hamish, good morning.

Good morning, Tam. Wow. I was amazed to read that you're 90% sold out for the end of the year. And, like, it's kind of weird times. It's crazy. I mean, it's hard to think of that sunny Gisborne afternoon as we sit here in a rainy May. But no, people are excited. I mean, we'd sold out our camping in January

on the back of what was one of the best festivals yet. So people are keen to come back. I mean, the excitement and momentum is still there. Obviously, we've got a few hurdles to get through first, but no, it's hard to slow down a good thing, that's for sure. When there was a lot of uncertainty and no one knew how long this was going to last, how the world would be affected,

did you think this might have been the first year that you had to cancel the festival, or was there anything like that running through your head? Well, the timing couldn't have been better for us, I guess. We're still, what, seven months out. So if anything, it gave our team a chance to have a bit of a breather, like a lot of people in the industry, I think, and just reassess where things are going.

But no, no, we've always been pretty positive on the situation. I mean, the country's done a great job, and it's good to see some of the industries getting back into business and we hope that we're going to be one of those industries come spring. We can start the mass gatherings again and, yeah, it's going to be hard to slow down the Rhythm and Vines machine, that's for sure. So does that mean for line-up that you could be looking at

like a New Zealand slash Australian bubble line-up? Yeah, we're assessing a number of options at the moment. Obviously, the borders are shut, so it's going to be difficult getting people in at the current situation. But who knows what will happen in the coming months. I mean, we're securing a number of the leading Kiwi acts like we tend to, and they always put on a fantastic show.

You only have to look at last year and acts like Jack's Project and Saatchi and Montel, and they were some of the festival highlights. So we'll certainly be repeating and presenting a lot of the leading Kiwi acts and then assessing whether it's a trans-Tasman bubble situation, and we can invite some of the top Australian acts over, or in the unlikely case that we can get international guests, we'll present them as well.

So, yeah, we're looking at a number of options. And what we find with Rhythm and Vine, music's only one part of the experience. It's an important part, but we've got to make sure we're delivering in all facets of the camping and the food and beverage and the venue and making sure it's the best festival it can be. When do your artist deals have to be done? Like, when do you have to have them booked in and secured? Well, December, really. We're doing a lot of discussions at the moment,

and obviously, line-up releases around August. But I guess, you know, we're in a unique position where people are coming already. They've purchased their tickets. They're looking forward to attending. So, yeah, it's about having those discussions over the coming months and monitoring the health situation as well and the hygiene requirements that are going to be needed for these kind of gatherings.

But, yeah, it'll be a process, I think, over the winter months and plugging in the talent as we can. But, yeah, I guess we've got that seven-month runway to the event, so we've got time to bring it all together. We're excited and desperate need for something like this. For some live music, I know. Co-founder and director of Rhythm & Binds, Hamish Pinkham, thanks so much. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier.

As at Herald's new podcast, the front, is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to The Front Page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. All right, this is the segment where Vaughan has a go at guessing your mum's name. He'll ask you five questions and then have 15 seconds to guess your mum's name. Hayley, good morning. Good morning. All right, so. Hayley. Hayley.

Whereabouts in the country are you, Hayley? I'm in Hamilton. In Hamilton. That's not one of my questions. That's not one of your questions. Although it does help. Does it? Do you reckon it does?

I know, I always feel like we can't ask Hayley questions because it's helping you out. Regional mum's name. All right. Five questions for Hayley Vaughan. Got to start with, this one's a big clue. How old is your mum, Hayley? Like, what year was she born? She was born in 1960.

1960. Okay. How old is that? 60. She'll be 60 this year. Oh, my God. Wait, wait. 1960 Okay How old is that? 60 She'll be 60 this year Oh my god Wait It's your mum's 60th

That's a big year You've got to do something Oh we've already had it Well and if your mum Turns 60 And you just I mean it's been a busy year I can kind of understand

How that's faded Into the background To be honest with you My sister's 21st Was the day after So that sort of Took precedence Oh she stole the limelight.

Unbelievable. How you make your 65th more important. Okay, so she's 60. What does she have when you go out for coffee? Oh. Or does she not go out because... She has tea. So she has tea.

Tea, okay. Just like English breakfast has tea. Okay. That's interesting. Just like English breakfast. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, okay. Okay, I can work with that. What's your mum's siblings... What are your mum's siblings' names?

Oh, yeah. She's got Linda and Dawn. Linda. Really? Linda and Dawn. Okay. Okay, good, good. 60. Really? Linda and Dawn. Okay. Okay. Good, good.

60. Tea drinker. And she's got Linda and Dawn as siblings. What kind of car does your mum drive? Toyota Camry. Oh, that's such a mum car. Sensible. Sensible.

Does she ever say they go forever? She didn't have a choice. Dad chose it because he needed something with a tow bar to tow the boat. He tows a boat with a Camry. That speaks volumes for the Camry. Doesn't it? Yeah. It's a Camry.

I'm putting Camry. And I'm going to put ink, short for including. Yep. Tow bar. Is that necessary? What does Dad drive then if Mum's driving the car that does the towing?

He's got a Hilux ute. Why isn't he towing the boat with the Hilux? He does sometimes, but it's a work car, so he can't take it all the time. Oh, yeah. Dad just needs to disable

the work car's GPS and get away with it. You don't want to get your work ute stuck launching a boat, though, do you? No. No. Well, you wouldn't in a Hilux. You'd whack it in four-wheel drive and you'd be out of there lickety-split.

Yeah. Toyota family, too. That's always interesting. Yeah. If they stick with the brand. Okay. I was going to say, how many more questions do you have? One more question.

Does mum play any, like, does she belong to any clubs or play any sports or anything? Oh, God, no. No. Okay. Not just a no, that's a God no. God no. So not even any, like, non-sporting clubs? Like, any associations? Does she belong to Kiwianis? She's a member of her own book club.

Oh, okay. Book club. Book club. Alright. See, she did belong to a club. Alright, so, Vaughan, you've asked your five questions. You now have 15 seconds to guess Hayley's mum's name. Hayley, if you hear Vaughan say your mum's name, say... That's my mum's name. Stop.

That's my mum's name. Here we go. Jane, Fiona, Raewyn, Heather, Lynette, Diane, Catherine, Denise, Barbara, Deborah, Patricia, Margaret, Helen, Mary, Barbara, Deborah, Patricia, Margaret, Helen, Mary, Judith, Robin, Wendy, Elizabeth, Jennifer, Sandra, Debbie, Julie. Yes. Stop, that's my mom's name.

That was Julie. Julie! It was the last time I've done. Do we need an adjudicator? Did I get it in time? Do we need the adjudicator? It was after the buzzer. Was that the last one you said? Because it's always on the...

It was the very last. On the chase, sometimes he asks the question, then the time runs out. I think if you ask the question, the person gets the answer. Yeah. All right. Yay!

I mean, it's not like we've got 50... I just want to guess her dad's name. It's not like we've got 50,000 pounds on the line, is it? No. All right, so. Actually, we'll find out very soon. Bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name.

No questions, just one shot. Julie and Peter. Peter pulls his boat. Peter pulls his boat. Julie and Steve. Julie and... Michael. Michael.

I'm not having a guess because I know. Do you? Do you know? I do. Oh, okay. Fletcher's really bad at towels. Exactly. His eyes light up when you get something like a poker.

I'm going under the desk so you can't see me. Oh, don't go under the desk. Okay, keep going. What else is like in that vintage? David? Wayne? Wayne. Graham.

It was Graham last time. Come on, lock a name in. I fell in with Graham like Murray. Lock a name in. Murray. Julian Murray? No. No, I reckon Michael.

Julian Michael. Yeah. Okay? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Do you want to let him down, Hayley? Oh, it's John, sorry. Julian John! Julian John!

Say hi to Julian John from us, Hayley. Congratulations. We have for you a prize. Vaughan goes into the office and steals something off someone's desk. What have you stolen today, Vaughn? That's cool. I've got an inflatable crocodile. It's a crocodile, Lilo.

Yeah. Oh, that sounds wicked. Yeah. Oh, my God. You take it out on the boat. It says, I'm reading the size here. Yeah, take it out on the boat. Fiddle around at the boat ramp while Dad's putting the boat in.

It says that it's two metres long and 110 centimetres wide. So that's the size of a dinner table. But look at these children sitting on it. They must be monsters. Giant children. Oh, it's a two-seater. It makes it look considerably smaller. I reckon you could tie a rope around its mouth and make it into a banana.

No, no. It'll say somewhere on it. It'll warn against rope around its mouth and make it into a banana. No, no, no. It'll say somewhere on it. It'll warn against those sorts of shenanigans. They always do. They try to make you not have fun, these people. No protection against drowning is what it says. Or as the Germans say, Achtung, Kenschlutz, Gläckend, Gläckend, Gläckend.

There we go. And with that, we'll leave you with that fantastic prize, Hayley, which pre-COVID would have sounded like a ridiculous prize. We just take what we can get in these times, don't we? We do. No, definitely. Congratulations. John and Julie will enjoy it in the spa.

In the spa? Oh. Yeah, you could use it to, like, float your feet. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Executive intern Anya, her friend faces an issue. She's in a relationship. How long has she been in this relationship for now?

Three months? Three months, yes. That's kind of an interesting period of a relationship, isn't it? That's like, I love your territory, right? Whoa, shit. Right into it. It's certainly the 90-day higher fire thing, isn't it? Maybe that's why.

It is this weird stage of humanity where you get to know someone to the point where you decide whether or not you want to hang around with them a bit longer. Or fire them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Both in a professional and a personal sense.

Do you want to spend more time with this person? So she's three months in and what is her conundrum? She has a poopy plight. Okay, great. Okay, fantastic. She cannot do her business at her partner's house. Her boyfriend's house. She can't poop.

It is... No. So she stays the night. Yeah. Oh, that's a bit silly. Why is she all weird about that? She's worried apparently there's only one bathroom, there's poor ventilation.

She's already assessed it. Yeah. And she just doesn't feel like they're at that stage yet. So she nips up the road to the petrol station and buys a stick of gum and does her business there. So does she make an excuse to go to the servo? Like, oh, I forgot to gas up my car or let's go get ice creams.

Yeah. She would rather poop at a grim urine covered service station because I know they say the service station always says if this is in less than satisfactory it'll let us know but who's walking out and being like, hello there's piss all over the seat. And it wasn't

me. I always see that sign at the service station. Yeah. It's like yeah if it's not in satisfactory condition let us know. If I'm coming out and someone's coming in, I'll be very quick to distance myself from the mess. I'll be like,

that was like that when I got there, which sounds like a lie. I need to let an employee know. Because then it's also like you're telling the employee, hey, you've got to go clean that up

and it wasn't me. Yeah. Honestly, it wasn't me. There is a real unsightly mess in there. So that's a bizarre Cause I mean

I kind of get that though Like I feel like Early on in the relationship You don't wanna You don't want them to hear you It's like when you stay At a guy's house And the bathroom

Is either right beside Their room Or they've got an ensuite And you're like Oh god How do I ask Where the other toilet is Cause I don't wanna like

Do my business Cause I'm about to Do a dump I don't wanna do it In the Because I don't want to do my business. I'm about to do a dump. I don't want to do it in the ensuite. I don't want them to hear anything. Yeah, right. You turn on the extractor fan. What if they don't have one?

Turn on some music. Then they're going to have a moldy bathroom and they've got bigger problems than you sticking it out if they've got mold in the bathroom. But three months, I mean, come on. Like a guy's going to care if they hear you going to the toilet. Because I don't know if you know this, Executive Intern Anya, but everybody does poopies.

I'm aware. Yeah, you're aware. Famously. There's a book. Yeah. Everybody poops. Exactly. Yeah, I get her situation, but I think three months in,

I probably would have given it up by now. Like, that's a long time to keep up that game. I mean, especially, yeah, you're in three months. Are they going to be together for a while? I think so. It's gone really well. There you go.

Just poop. You've got to sometimes. I think she just wants to keep the romance alive. Keep the illusion. Yeah, keep the flame burning. Although we say this, but Vaughn famously,

I've never known Shade to even do poos. Yeah, see, she's keeping it from you. Yeah. She doesn't. I know she must, and we live in the same house and have done for...

But it's just because you're the kind of person that comes out and announces. I would announce, yeah. Oh, that I have done poos. I would also announce on the radio the day I find out she does do poos. Which I can see why now

she's got to the point where she doesn't want... She hides it from you. Yeah, she hides it. That's amazing, because how many years married and together? We've been together 16 years. I could never confirm.

I could never confirm once. I know she goes, wheeze. Stealthy. So stealthy. So stealthy. Because you know when I'm doing poos, I sit down and I take my time. Yeah. I'm in no rush.

What about if you go away together and there's a hotel room and it just has a bathroom and a room? I've never known it. What about if you go away together and there's a hotel room and it just has a bathroom and a room? I've never known it. She probably goes to the lobby. You should always lobby in a hotel if you're sharing a room with anyone. No, no, no. Not if you're a partner. Even then.

Even then. Lobby. Go to the lobby. Why are you single? Add it to the list. Are you shitting in there? I said go to the lobby! That's the rule for sharing a hotel room.

You lobby for number twos. You know, but I'm not paying for a hotel room to have to go to the lobby when I need to do twos. I'm not going halvesies if I can't do my whole business there. Well, it's a bizarre situation that Executive Intern Anya's friend finds herself in. Could we take some calls on those things that maybe your partner doesn't see you do?

Because, yeah, I understand at the start of a relationship you might hide little things. Like, it takes you a while for you to show your face without makeup. Okay, how long were you with Mr Toyboy until he saw this whole thing? Maybe a month. But you'd go to sleep next to him with makeup on. No, well, we didn't live together, so we weren't like sleeping next to each other.

So it was, yeah, it would have been about a month. Because I've seen you at the supermarket with no makeup on. I didn't recognise. I love telling, I love saying this story. I was like, hello. You were like, are you sick? You were like, are you sick? Oh my god, are you sick? Because you were in track pants

wearing flat shoes, no makeup. Bizarre. I'd like you to know that I don't do that anymore either because you got such a fright. It was like when I picked her up from the hospital after her operation. I was also stoned. I had to check her band to make sure I got the right one. Yeah, because you were always there like, oh, hi.

I'm like, help! Help! A meth head's still in my car! Well, no, he's stuck around because he's seen it. He's seen it at its worst and he's still here. But maybe there would be people that, yeah, went months without, yeah. Because once you start hiding it,

you're like, when is it going to be the moment where I reveal this to them? We're dealing with an issue. Executive intern Anya's friend, three months into a relationship, can't bring herself to do number twos at the partner's house. Now, this is obviously problematic

if they stay together longer. Yeah. She was after a solution. We are seeking that, but we also just want to talk about what you've never seen your partner do or what you haven't done in front of your partner. Maybe you held off doing something for a long time

because you were a little embarrassed by it. Now, a culmination of a solution, but also a story about what somebody couldn't do in front of their partner has come to us and we'll be ending on that message and it is something. It made me hold my face. Fletch got off his chair. Which is

something. Which is something. So give us a call 0800 dials at mtech Do you want to deal with the advice for Executive Intern Anya's friend firstly? Yes. Somebody said I used to take a pack of matches to my partner's house because the old...

Yes. ...adage of lighting a match, it'll burn off the stinky methane. Right. But then it does smell like you've been... Does that actually work? ...smoking ciggies in their bathroom. Yeah.

But like, what have you been... That does work. It does work. It does work. It works very effectively. That's why you'll see a box. I always wondered why people had a box of matches in their bathroom. It's really old school. It's really old school.

It's really old school, yeah. But see, I'd rather that than a bloody glade. And it's hot. What if you just had a candle going in your bathroom? Would that work the same way? That's a huge fire risk. Okay. You don't want to keep that candle in my bathroom.

Yeah, but you don't leave it going all the time, do you? No. Would you light it, do your business, and then blow it out? No, and I'd just leave it going for a little bit. Okay, be careful, please. Oh, okay. It's a real fire risk. Sure.

It's important also not to mix the match with the Glade spray because that's how you make a flame thrower. Yeah, yeah, it is. Flame thrower. Somebody said, assuming you also shower at this boyfriend's house, try to time it so that you go and turn on the shower and then quickly do your bathroom business. That's what I used to do.

Somebody did that at my house once and it just turned into a humid wall of stench. You don't have a window. No. Because I'd crack a window. Extractor fan? Yeah, extractor fan was on. You just hold it until it's like, okay, I'm going to have a shower.

And then you turn the shower on and then you do business and you have a shower. Now, you were saying it was a humidity issue. What if they'd run the cold when they first got in? They put it on full pressure but cold. They should have, yeah. So it sounded like someone was in there. Yeah. I'm just saying be careful because that can backfire.

And then you've got to shut the door very carefully so that it doesn't do that thump of a shower door so that they know that you're, what are they just hopping into the shower for now? The wood's been running. Yes. Yes. Yeah, you hear that. They were masking the toilet. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Alright, let's take some calls. Brent, your wife has never done something in front

of you. What was that? She's never farted in front of me. Oh, what a lady. Not even accidentally. Not even accidentally. How long have you been together? Ten years. Have you brought this up with her and said, what's going on? Yeah, all the time.

I think she farts sometimes and I'm like, did you just fart? And she's like, no. She starts? What do you mean? No, she makes a noise on the couch or something like that, and I think it's a fart. Oh, yeah. Yeah, my wife's the same.

I'm so willing to catch her. She knows when I'm about to accuse her, like on a leather chair or something, and she'll say, shoot. Maybe you should do like a burrito, some kind of mix in bean dish. Yes. Let's really get this going.

Broccoli and protein powder. That sounds like the world's worst dish, but... I've tried it. It just doesn't work. Yes. Let's really get this going. Broccoli and protein powder. That sounds like the world's worst dish. I've tried it, it just doesn't work. Wow. Maybe she's just doing silent ones. Alright, well good luck with that. Thanks, Brent. Cherie, you've been in a similar situation.

Yes, I have. Morning guys. Morning. So you met a guy and you couldn't use the bathroom. Well, I've been with him for nearly two years and like to this day he wouldn't even know that I would, do you know what I mean? I'd do

anything I can to kind of hide it from him. And the guy that just called saying that he's never heard his partner fart, like I swear to God I would disappear into the thin air if I ever farted in front of him. Are you worried that he would judge you? No, I just think

that there's some things better left to yourself. I totally agree, Cherie. Would he love you less if you were flatulent? What's that? Do you think he would love you less if you were flatulent? No,

not at all, no. Like, my friend farted in front of him the other day and he thought it was funny. Like, he actually wouldn't care. It's my issue. Right, okay. That's so weird because, yeah, it doesn't matter, does it? No. No. And then he's told me that apparently I did in my sleep one night and I was so embarrassed. Oh no!

You can't help it. That's so brilliant. Alright, Cherie, thanks for your cool some text messages. Somebody said it took two and a half years before my partner saw me

without a face of makeup. Two and a half years. Sarah, that's you. Oh, sorry? No, Sarah's somebody different. Sarah's... Oh, right, okay. Sarah, what is it

that your partner hasn't seen you do We've been together For two years And he actually Hasn't seen me cook A meal yet Because you can't cook

Or you can No I can But I kind of Don't want to ruin The illusion that I can Or can't So I'm just Leaving it to him

Amazing This weird Air of mystery Exactly That's me. He would turn up and something's already cooked and he would be like, who did this? Yes, that's exactly how it goes. And you would be like...

I'll put it in a takeaway container and I'll say that I got it from the cafe down the road. Actually. Yep. So if it's bad, you can be like, bloody, we'll never go back there. Exactly. Has he ever eaten food that he thought was takeaways that you made

that he was like, this is rubbish? Definitely, I'm sure over the past two years it's happened, but nothing notable. Wow. Wow. That's quite the effort. Why would he care if he comes home and you're cooking? It doesn't matter.

It's been so long that I actually just have to stick to it now. And I'm going to the graves that I can't cook. I love the stubbornness. That's amazing. Brilliant. Thanks, Sarah. Some more texts. Someone said, I've been with my partner for two years

and he's never seen my bare breasts in the light of day. They only come out in the night time, in the dark. They're nocturnal. What? Why? They're like a ruru, a maupok. Like a kiwi. When you see a kiwi at the zoo, you're like, it must be there.

They said it's there. Yeah. But like, why? Yeah, I mean, he's obviously into them. Yeah. Light or dark. Let him see them in the dark. Is he allowed to get out the iPhone torch?

Yes. What, do you pull out the iPhone torch at the zoo to see the kiwi? No, you don't. Keep the curtains open for a full moon? Oh, yes. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, I'm not exactly sure.

Okay, so we received a text. We've done our darndest to get in touch with this person. They don't want to talk. They don't want to talk. They don't want to talk. Pre-pair. Pre-pair. Pre-pair. When I first started dating, who is now my husband,

I used to have disposable gloves in my purse. I would wear a glove, catch my poo, and then place it quietly in the water and flush the glove as well. Oh, my God. That is bad for the environment. It's bad for the plumbing. Why not just put a giant layer of toilet paper down?

That's what you do, right? A catch pad. Yeah, a catch pad. Yeah, you put a catch pad down. Yeah. You flush. That's what you do. You flush.

Yeah. Put your crash pad down. Yeah. So then that catches the poo. There's no like loud splashes and it also reduces the issue of skids because the bowl's wet. Exactly. When it hits.

Then you toilet paper, you wipe and you flush and it's boom. Wow. Glove. Glove. They were flushing a glove every time and had a supply of... We're like that scared that guys won't accept all our little bits and pieces that we go to their lengths.

Spoiler alert, guys don't care. No, and guys will do it to you. They'll go in the bathroom and make a hell of a racket. We'll tell you after we come out. That was a stinky one. Yeah.

And describe it in detail. Well, that was like one long one. It breached the water. When that happens It's amazing It happened to me the other day Shade refused to come in and look I was like The kids are back at school

I've just taken What I can only describe as The best poo of 2020 Come and look It's up What? Oh we've got You've got Glovelady

No Don't say her name Hello Glovelady Good morning Glovelady Hello I got Glovelady. No, don't say her name. Hello. Glovelady, good morning. Hello, I'm Glovelady from yesterday who was telling you about my ex-husband who was in the Marines. And now I'm telling you about my current husband. I'm the poo catcher.

You have so much. You've got a lot going on. You've got a lot going on. I have a lot of shit going on. Why did you catch your own poo with a gloved hand? Because I didn't want him here in the big old plop sand. You know, his house was tiny, and now we live in my house in Cambridge. What about the crash pad, the toilet paper to stop the splash? Well, he cooks quite a lot of spicy food,

so toilet paper isn't going to cut the mustard. But a gloved hand is. How long was the glove? Was it one of those ones that goes up to the elbow? I wouldn't be taking one of those spicy repercussions on a short glove. They're just my beauty therapy gloves. Right, okay. So does he just hear it now?

You're just like... Oh, yeah, now I just tell him every day. Does he know that you did this? No, he will know. Oh, my God. And I bet he says, I wouldn't have cared. No, he wouldn't have cared because he doesn't care now. So there you go.

You don't need to be sneaking around, going to service stations. Catching a poo. Catching a poo. Just go to the toilet like a normal person. I do now. I do, yes. Fantastic. Thank you for sharing, Glovelady.

No worries. Have a good day. We'll be calling you Glovely Day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We'll be calling you Glovely Day. It's time for... Fact of the Day. Day, day, day, day. Today's Fact of the Day is about the saying, in the limelight.

Someone being in the limelight. In the limelight. You're enjoying your limelight. Yeah. Do you know what that genitive origin is? I never really thought about it. I just thought it was like spotlight. But yeah, what is limelight? Well, limelight, I can tell you.

Okay, great. Limelight was the first ever type of theatrical spotlight in 1816 before electricity. Yeah. If you needed to light up a theatrical spotlight. Yeah. You would use calcium oxide, otherwise known as quicklime. Yeah. And you would heat it with burning oxygen and hydrogen

and then it would create a light when it was burning and that light could be focused using mirrors to make a spotlight. So if you were in the middle of the stage, if you were getting your time in the limelight, you were literally, quicklime was being heated until it became... Right. Incandescent? Is that a word for?

Yes. No, I want to say yes. I want to say yes, but I'm not a hundy on that, Vaughan. But that's some chemistry there, isn't it? Yeah. That's some chemistry working. That's why that would be called limelight, because it was literally a light created by lime.

Yeah, right. Which has got me thinking about a show I've been enjoying on Friday nights. Have you watched The Repair Shed on TV One? I have seen that. Are they repairing sheds? No, no, no, no, no. No, they repair like random things. So people come in, they're like, oh, this is a family heirloom,

but it's buggered. And these experts are like, we'll fix it. And then you watch them like, it's a tinkerer's dream. For a start, the shed is amazing and it's full of the most precious tools. And all these old mates and young fellas and young fallaces get about fixing things.

We really need some sexier topics today. Yeah, we've got to work on that tomorrow. We've been talking a lot about potatoes on the show today. Salt. Salt. Glove poo. Yeah. I blame the National Party, Richard.

I just saw 12 very boring white people and I was like, I'm at home here. Here are very, like, this is the hardest game of guess whoever because are they white? Yes. Okay, no one goes down. Yikes.

What do I do now? But maybe we do need to look into some sex, yeah. Okay, yeah. Topics tomorrow. Or not, but the repair shed, I'd watch it on Friday nights. It's pretty hot stuff. It's pretty great stuff for lots of repairing

because it was a miner's light. Did you see last week? Nah. So this family, When I say I've seen it, I'm probably flucking through the channels and got bored on it for 10 minutes. Yeah, linger a little longer

because I've all got stories to tell. Yeah, linger a little longer. Because they've all got stories to tell. Yeah. This granddad was in a mine. He was in a coal mine and the coal mine collapsed. Okay. And he had this little light with him. And it stopped the thing from falling on him, apparently. And then it saved his life because he could see and then he could get out and he survived.

And they were having it. It didn't work, so they were getting it fixed up. Right. Great story. It really is. And they were having it. It didn't work, so they were getting it fixed up. Right. Great story. It really is. I cut it very short. Okay. But, you know, there's other details.

Yeah. I'm sure people would love it. All right. Well, today's fact of the day. Is the origins of the saying limelight comes from a literal light made from quicklime. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. There's been a survey done on how people are adapting to remote employment, so working from home.

Yeah. And it's discovered that 80% of people say that they are spending 9 to 5 in their undies, pyjamas or comfy clothes. And that 70% much prefer working from home now. Yeah. Because there were some people that would actually get dressed up, proper dressed up, so they felt there was a difference between work and home. Yeah. Did we talk about that a few weeks ago, so they felt there was a difference between work and home. Yeah.

Did we talk about that a few weeks ago, I think? Yeah. Yeah, Hilary Barry did a formal, was it formal Friday? She would get dressed up. Yeah. But, like, who can be bothered, really? Because unless you're posting about it, no one's going to see you. No. And then a lot of people, if they're doing a Zoom, will just dress from the

waist up. Yeah. Because they're doing a Zoom, will just dress from the waist up. Yeah. Because they're not going to see under there, under the desk. And like, I had a friend who set up a whole office and was like, I'm going to work from here. I'm going to be professional. I'm going to get up, get dressed, sit there. And it didn't even work out because I ended up just doing everything from the laptop in the bed.

It's like, well, what's the point? Yeah. And I've set up the whole office now. But when you can sit in bed. They did it from their laptop in bed. When you can sit in bed in your pyjamas, what's the point? I've set up the whole office now, but when you can sit in bed, when you can sit in bed in your pyjamas, why wouldn't you? Comfy as. Oh, no, I can't get comfortable sitting in bed. I love it.

I mean, the lying down in bed. Yep. I can't get comfortable. You can't sit in bed. No, no, no, no. Like, if I'm watching very rarely do we watch TV in bed, but I have to be lying on my side. No, I don't like that.

I'd rather sit up, but you're right. It's uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. For a long time. I like sitting in bed. 70% said they have been more productive since they've been working from home. I can see that. Like productive with their time.

Yeah. It might not take them as long. They can just get it done quicker. Smash it up so they can do other things. See, I'd be all good for like places going to four day work weeks and you just smash it out in four days, have three day weekends.

Maybe some people take the Monday off the Friday. What would we do? Yeah, we'd probably still have to work. I don't like it then. If we can't do it,

no one can. If I have to be here, everybody has to be here. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Now, if you've seen that meme where the car's driving along the road

and there's a sign over the bridge that points ahead and the car's drifting and taking the right-hand corner, you're about to hear the audio version of that. On one side of the sign it says, Primal Content. It says, Survey about age. Yeah, and at what age you start feeling old.

Now, the other sign pointing off to the right-hand side where the car is drifting into says coconut lime flavoured mouthwash. Now, at this stage... You two are so strapping, sister. No, let's do an interactive moment. 0800 dials at M or text 96. What do you want us to talk about?

No, don't ask them. Do you want us to veer off the road and talk about coconut lime mouthwash? It's a violent swerve. Or do you want us to tell you at what age you feel old? It's a drift. It's a violent swerve. Or do you want us to tell you at what age you feel old? It's a drift. I don't know how drifting works. What do you vote for? Well, I don't.

Can I close my eyes? Mouthwash. See? I don't know how drifting works, but I imagine Fletcher slammed it down again and used that other little thing and now we're going sideways in the Sylvia. Executive Intern Anya, you don't want to talk about the mouthwash. No.

This is not sexy chat that we said 20 minutes ago we need. It's not your sexy. I find it highly erotic. You find coconut lime mouthwash erotic. I find the mysterious world of mouthwash flavours. People have text done. People have text done. They want the mouthwash.

You don't have the text machine open. I just know. I can feel, I get tingles when I know that we're getting good texts. Look, no one's texting. So regardless of what

we talk about, no one's listening and no one cares. No one's listening. So let's just do what we want then. That's worked for us in the past.

Just saw it because you know you're going to anyway. When did we first discuss this mouthwash? A couple of weeks ago. We said we saw a new flavour mouthwash. Yeah.

Coconut lime flavoured mouthwash. Listerine. Listerine. And we said, what a peculiar flavour. Now, I'm a plaques man. Because it's on special, it's $4. I'm always a plaques man. The pink plaques.

I don't know. I just get the green or the blue. Have you tried the pink plaques? Do you know lately, I don't know if this needs an investigative podcast, but it hasn't been on special every time I've gone to the supermarket. I don't know if it's nice.

We'll do an investigation. They need to make their money. Well, yeah. And I mean, I know there's water restrictions. I'm guessing half of it's water, right? Mouthwash specials. The big swill. That's what our podcast would be called.

An investigation into the pricing of mouthwash. Anyway, I was like, well, they didn't have that. And I saw the Coconut and Lime mouthwash and I was like, we did just mention that last week. I'm going to try it. And I tell you what. It sounds like a delicious cocktail. It was quite nice. I liked it. And then you get

this little aftertaste of coconut and lime. It has alcohol in it right No this one's alcohol free Oh okay I was going to say It's pretty much a pina colada With your Listerine As it burns your mouth

It's very burny But this is zero alcohol Well that's why I get plaques The gentle mint The pink one Yeah And my wife's always like Stop buying mouthwash

From Cracker Jack She gets very angry When I come home With edible stuff Or stuff you put in Stop buying mouthwash from Cracker Jack. She gets very angry when I come home with edible stuff or stuff you put in yourself. Because you've got a green tea one that I've tried. Stuff you put in yourself? Yeah, like toothpaste. Oh, right. Or mouthwash.

Say consume. I think I got a contact lens solution from there once. Yeah, that's great. I love going there. But yeah, I it um five out of five would recommend would regard recommend yeah it's great now i've got to try it yeah no they come in a small model because i'd hate to buy a big one of those big ones no it's only the small so here's the problem it says on it limited edition oh don't get me addicted to your crack

and then stop selling it because Because then what do I do? I have to go to a spearmint or something. Yeah. I think everyone's right. This wasn't a sexy decision. No, no, no, no, no. I won't have it. I'm in.

So does it burn like normal Listerine? Nah, it's pretty good. That's good because that's my least favorite thing about Listerine. Yeah, same. The tongue. Even though I'm in this break, can I distance myself now from it?isterine? Yeah, same. The tongue, the how it gives you time. can I distance myself now from it? Like professionally?

Yeah. You just said before you wanted to talk about the mouthwash. I've changed my mind. We were the meme veering off the, forget it.

Violence move. I was just looking at the Listerine website and it said product overview and it gives you basically what you've said and at the bottom it says directions

and I was like, directions? Have I been doing this wrong? And it just says use it morning and night. That's not directions. I was like directions? Have I been doing this wrong? And it just says use it morning and night. That's not directions. I was like sip from

sip approximately 10 mils. Until your mouth is full and then you're like oh that was probably a bit too much. Swish around mouth. Yeah. Anyway.

Great. I'm going to try it. That was fantastic. Executive Intern Anya wants more. I believe that's the signal she's saying there. Wrap it up. Wrap it up.

Wrap it up. You're right. It would make a lovely present. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app

or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.