ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 27th November 2020

Episode Date: November 26, 2020

*Mildly Explicit Content*Top 6: Buskers Festival  Snoring Juror  The Wiggles!  Fletch is in Troooooouble!  How do you get out of things?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  Fishy Tank S2 Episode 5  Coach VaughanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleet's Morning Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. I've just returned from the kitchenette, making my coffee, making my breakfast, where I talked to a fellow recent peanut butter enthusiast. Oh, okay. Because I haven't been, I've never been a peanut butter guy until the last couple of years. Well, because you thought you were allergic.

Well, when I was a kid, yeah, I had this weird allergic reaction, but apparently in puberty, a lot of people, if it's a mild, low-end nut allergy, you can grow out of it. And other allergies as well. Apparently, like, bee stings is one that you can. Only if they're really mild. Okay. If you've got a real bad allergy, obviously not. But I was just sharing something that I did last night.

This is non-spawn, by the way. This is just credit where credit's due. Okay. This is weird. I've got some of that. I told Megan she's not on board. Okay. What is it? Fix and Fog Smoke and Fire peanut butter.

It's got like a paprika-y sort of... I don't find it spicy but then... My mum would probably be like, ooh, that's hot but my mum thinks pepper's hot. So it's like a smoky flavoured peanut butter. It's like a real savoury peanut butter. Really good for satays if you're a homemade satay enthusiast.

Yeah, right. But what I did is I put it on a burger. A cheeseburger too, not like a chicken burger, like a full-blown pickle-heavy cheeseburger on the top bun. See, it's not the smokiness. It's the peanut aspect. It was weird. The peanut flavour wasn't overly powerful.

Right. And so you just lathered that on. It was a bit of texture. I really lathered it on thick. About as thick as I'd do your standard avocado if I was going to put a smash avocado onto the top of a burger bun. How would you feel about mixing in the peanut butter to the meat patty? Totally doable. Because that could work.

Because, I mean, Burgerful used to have that peanut piston burger. Yes. So that's like They had a peanut sauce on that That was beef eh Yeah Do you know what I was thinking It was standard cheese on it But it could have gone

Blue cheese A beef blue cheese burger With a peanut butter With a smoky peanut butter on it God now I'm hungry Lucky you've got a brioche in your hand Yeah I'm gonna eat it

Combat the pickles Because I don't want anything Taking over the pickle flavour There's some very strong You've got pickle, you've got blue cheese You've got the smoky peanut butter Yeah, I know Yum

Anyway, that's just a thought for anybody making burgers this weekend Or whenever you listen to this podcast If you've got some peanut butter, just try a little bit Try a test spot before you Always do a test spot Maybe do one on the corner of the top Carpet cleaner Veet on your butthole and

peanuts. Always do a test spot I wouldn't even test spot Veet on my butthole. That wouldn't be the spot I'd choose to. Where you do your elbow or something first. A little spot that's not in the sun much Just follow their advice and keep away from sensitive areas. Okay. Peanut butter though on the, straight on the butthole

Not unless you've got a peanut allergy Oh, that's where you want to check. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleach, Vaughan and Megan. Happy Friday morning. And great news to start the day. Zombie minks. Yeah. COVID zombie minks rising from their grave. So the mink, the animal that gave us the mink coat and the faux mink blanket, but only inspired the faux mink blanket, not actually skinned for the faux mink blanket. Still a raving market.

And the mink got COVID. Is that right? Because it's likely that a muster lid, like a ferret or a stoat, and a mink falls into that family, COVID really affects them and it can mutate in them. It got into a farm, so to be safe, they put down like over a million of them, right?

That were going to be skinned for a coat. So they got rid of them all. However, they just dug a massive hole and chucked them all in. So if you've ever seen a dead animal, it starts to swell up because the gas is inside it through decomposition. And the bottom ones have swollen,

so then the top ones on top of that have swollen, and the ones on top of that have swollen. The ones that are closest to the surface have been pushed out of the earth like zombies. Zombie mace. Why didn't they burn them? Oh, Vaughn, I don't know. Surely you would just get a mass cremation going.

Like the smell would be something, but it would be far less to deal with than the second time around when it not only stinks, but it's rotting and it's zombie minks. 2020, eh? What else is it going to give us? We've got a month left. Zombie minks.

Don't even say that. No. I hope no one's touching that steel monolith they found in the desert. Did you see that? Yeah. They reckon that because some helicopter crew were flying over it and saw it. And it reflected, yeah. Just a big steel post coming out of the ground, like a shiny stainless steel.

But don't they reckon someone put it there as like an art? Yeah, they reckon it's an art installation. I don't know. I just think leave it alone. They shot a few movies. I think they shot Westworld near there and people are saying maybe the art department of Westworld had a bit of time on their hand.

Or just did it as a laugh. If we could just get confirmation of that Westworld would be great. Or just sleep a little easier. God don't put a zombie mink anywhere near it. Bloody hell. The top six is coming up on the show. Yeah, the Buskers Festival in Christchurch is going ahead next year.

There will need to be some changes, though, because obviously no international buskers can come, and we're living in a different world. So I've got the top six ways for the Buskers Festival to adapt to the COVID age. Next on the show, though, if you're after a PS5, the scalpers, the bloody scalpers are going to ruin it for everybody. ZM. Hit music.

Live ZM. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. I consider myself one of the very lucky few in New Zealand to have a PlayStation 5. And I've played it a bit more. Somebody said, how's your PS5 going? And I said, I've played it once.

And I felt really bad about that. So I have played it a couple of times this week. Right. Great fun. Because you had to come around to my place on Friday, last Friday. That's the reason. For my free internet. Why I hadn't played it is because there were so many updates

and I had to download the games and I had to like transfer the data and all. Yep. And I have a very slow internet. Rural broadband was going to take three weeks. Yeah. And you came around and did it in like transfer the data and all. Yep. And I went very slow internet. Rural broadband was going to take three weeks. Yeah. And you came around and did it in five minutes.

Yeah. So this is a good plug for Chorus. What about Ultra Fiber Fasty internet? Ultra Fiber Zip Zap Zippity Zappity

internet. Zippity Zap Zap internet. But I have been playing it since. The new Spider-Man game. Absolute work of a... Well, ahead of Christmas, there's news out of the States,

and it appears it's happening here too. There are scammers for PlayStation 5s. I wouldn't say... Would you say they're scammers? Scalpers. Scalpers. Scalpers is more... They are selling...

But there are scammers as well. Right, so you've got to be careful. There has been warnings. Techradar.com said, and this was a New Zealand story, watch out, that too good to be true PlayStation 5 deal could be a scam because it is one of those extremely highly sought after gifts that people want to get people, like their kids or a loved one, like you might be trying to get your partner one.

And there are shortages. So can they not, is it because of COVID, they're either not shipping them in or they can't make them fast enough? I think it's that they can't make them fast enough. They were outselling the Xbox 5 to 1 at one stage. So a PS5 standard edition is $819 and a PS5 digital edition is $649.

So if you go to Trade Me Now, there are PlayStation 5s for $1,500, $1,800, $1,400, $1,600, and a buy now of $2,000. Those are the PS5s. There's another one, $1,500. Yeah. Yeah. So people are doubling the price And selling them on Trade Me Here

Yeah And they're awesome So I don't want to rub it in But they're pretty good It's pretty good The control is pretty good People will pay double though Won't they?

Like scalping concert tickets There's the demand Yeah People want them for Christmas It sucks though It does suck But yeah That's the problem

Everybody puts such a Like a date on Christmas. Yeah. That you've got to have it by then. Yeah. Which can lead to, overseas there was a group that bought something like 3,000. And just pretty much. And scalped up the entire market for that area.

And yeah, now they, because they own the market pretty much. They can charge what they want for them. Which sucks. But it is happening. so just be careful. Yeah, all right. It's 11 past six. Ties. Yep.

Don't know how to tie them. I know how to tie the simple one. If I ever want to do the fancy one, I have to watch the YouTube tutorial. Yep. And there's a really good YouTube tutorial where he does it in the mirror, so you actually don't need to reverse what the dude's doing. Oh, okay, yep. You can just do it.

But should they be warned somewhere? Talk about this next. Hot debate. Hot debate, hot debate. Hot debate. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Currently around the world, in the US, you've got Donald Trump not officially conceding, losing the election.

So we don't know what's going to happen there. Britain and their parliament are brattling with Brexit. But that's still going on, by the way, behind the scenes, but also dealing with COVID and COVID lockdowns. People all around the world,

governments, parliament, dealing with very serious issues. Here in New Zealand, issue de jour, issue of the day. I speak a little French. Issue de jour. La issue de jour.

Greens party co-leader James Shaw has said maybe we should get rid of the tie. I'm wondering if we could look at the rule which requires men to wear ties to parliament, he said to Trevor Mallard. Okay. Yeah. Because it was their first day yesterday.

They had like their first day of school. Yeah, they did a swearing in and a... It's been a big week. Okay. For Parliament. They've been back post-election. So does James Shaw want to rock a shirt with a couple of buttons undone?

Yeah. In the debating chamber. I've seen him outside of it wearing a shirt with a button undone at the top. I personally have no problem with it. Yeah, I don't have a problem with that. It's like summer. You don't really want to be wearing a jacket and a tie.

But then how... You start there, but then how long before Jerry Brownlee's wearing a T-shirt with a phrase on it? You know, like... I'd be fine with Jerry Brownlee wearing a T-shirt. Right. If he wants to wear a T-shirt. But, like, women can essentially wear whatever they want,

as long as it's smart. It's the nightclub situation, isn't it? What do you mean? Well, I tried to get into a nightclub once wearing a strappy sandal, and I couldn't, but the girl next to me, she just wanted straighter than a strappy sandal. A strappy sandal, yeah. Simon Bridges said,

it may not be the biggest issue in the world, but men who come to Parliament should wear ties. It's in a bar or a club or a business. It's a national parliament. Ooh, okay. So he's firmly on that side of tradition. Yeah, but then they should probably behave a bit more like they're running a parliament sometimes than rather the name calling and the shit flinging across.

It looks more like a preschool sometimes. It does. It looks like a well-dressed up preschool. But yeah, I don't know. I don't. Yeah, I don't. I've never thought about it. If it's a formal issue,

just make sure everyone's wearing a collared shirt. Well, like surely there'd be days where it's like, okay, well, we're doing serious stuff today. Maybe wear a tie. But then other days when it's like casual Friday. I'd like to also, if we're talking about dress codes in Parliament, I'd like to give a shout out to the Māori Party. Hats.

Oh yeah, they were great hats. I saw the swearing in. There was a cowboy hat. There was almost like a top hat situation. Great hats. Good hats, yeah. Great hats. I'd like to see the return of the hat to Parliament. Fascinators, if you're into that. Guys or girls. And that's the return of the hat to Parliament. Fascinators, if you're into that.

Guys or girls. And that's the thing, I don't care. It's not cup and show week, mate. If Gerry Brownlee can wear a Fascinator with his T-shirt, if you like, that's... I don't care, but I'd just like to see a bit more formal headdress. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So, RIP to Diego Maradona,

an Argentinian footballer. He was 60 and he passed away. He'd had some complications with a blood clot in the brain, but he'd been dismissed from hospital. Right. He'd had a long history with drug and alcohol abuse. He did, yeah. And addiction as well.

Yeah, I don't think he kept good health. I was reading about him this morning and there's a museum in Argentina that has a fake penis that he used to get out of a drugs test. Because you know how you put urine, you put clean urine into a fake penis and then, because they have to watch you.

Do you know that? Why, at that level they do. No, workplaces they watch you. No, they don't see. I don't think workplaces have to see the penis. No, because I asked someone. They were like, I'm doing a drug test. I was like, do they look? And they're like, yeah, they look. But when you're actually...

Yeah, because they need to see it's not like a Diego Maradona fake pain. But apparently that's hanging in a museum. He's got a very long career. Yeah, well, Argentina's going to do a three-day mourning. They're doing an official statewide mourning, yeah, for three days instead of mourning.

What a life, though. Had to be involved in an Italian police sting, drug sting. Yep. Tested positive for drugs at the 1994 World Cup. I think it was 94 that they said on the news yesterday that he tested positive.

So that was the start of the end. But yeah. Well, a bit of confusion has Madonna saying, don't cry for me, Argentina. Yay!

I just thought of that and you were like, Argentina's gone into mourning. I was like, we've got a good one. No, I saw that yesterday quite a few times oh did you

yeah was a sitter was a sitter yeah yeah so apparently people got confused and thought that Madonna

had passed away not Maridonna so yeah a few legit tributes came in before the memes started coming in even the people who

put up photos saying not Madonna. There was a couple of them that I was very confused. It was like, lost the legend today. And it was a picture of Madonna. I was like, but not this one. I was like, don't lead that.

That's terrible. They were, they were. Exactly. Exacerbating the problem. Exactly. Fueling the flames. Some people would actually put up little video tributes. RIP Madonna, you'll be forever in our hearts, you legend.

I don't know, Madonna was kind of on the list of, because if you don't know, if there's like old celebrities, like just for example, Sir David Attenborough, news channels will have an obituary ready to run. Yeah. And they update them. And newspapers and stuff will. Oh, the Queen's ready to go.

TV wanted to have a big Queen package. And Prince Philip. It's probably somebody's job every few months just to make sure that it's still up to date with the latest footage of the Queen. That's pretty morbid. But it always happens with celebrities. And then it's kind of not nice. But then in the same token, I'm like, it would be kind of nice to see all the nice things

that people have to say about you. Because that's the thing, you die, and then people say all these lovely things at your funeral. You don't hear them. Why don't you say that when I was alive? You didn't say that to me at work, did you? Yeah. So if Madonna was having a bad day yesterday,

she could have just gone online and been like, oh, they love me. Don't go too deep though, Madonna, because you wouldn't have had to scrape too much off the surface of the compliments until you find all the negative stuff. Yeah. Yeah. But that would be nice.

So she's alive. She's alive. She's alive. He's not. Still with that English accent? Still doing that weird English accent? I don't know. Is she not English?

Madonna? Is she American? Yeah. Oh. Do you know that? Because she speaks like English. Yeah, it was when she married Guy Ritchie and she bought an English estate.

She did that thing that Kiwis do where they move to England and they come back two weeks later with an accent. I'm British now. Yeah, it's me, Guitona. All right, I've got a bit of land over there. Lock, stock, two smoking barrels. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast.

ZM. From the podcast. ZM. From the muggy ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Welcome to the top six. The Buskers Festival is back next year. It is happening in Christchurch from the 15th to the 31st of January, 2021.

Breadandcircus.co.nz if you want to see everything that's coming. It's actually a pretty full schedule, given that there'll be no international appearances. Yeah, because I thought that as well, but there's like pages of acts. Yeah. I mean, you want to see. Who knew there were so many jugglers and spuskers?

Stilts. I could do my stilt walking. I saw some people doing, I saw, yeah, there's a couple of those, because you did your stilts. I've still got my stil walking. I saw some people doing, I saw, yeah, there's a couple of those because you did your stilts. But everything, it's everything. I've still got my stilts. And the pants. It's not just the standard, what do you mean the pants?

Well, because you don't want people to see where your feet stop and the stilts. Oh, you don't want to see the stilt? I've just got very long legs. Oh, do the pants cover the stilts? The pants go to my ankles with my stilts. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. So people think you've got really long legs.

Long legs. You've got excessively long pants. Do you have maternity stilt pants? No. No. Probably not a thing a pregnant woman should be doing. Oh, I was going to say it's a niche market, yeah, for those pants. Probably want to be careful up on the stilts.

Yeah. But you've got string quartets. You've got comedians. You've got magicians. You've got acrobats. The top twins. The top twins are getting involved. She's all go.

She's all go. But there will need to be changes. The top six ways that the. She's all go. She's all go. But there will need to be changes. The top six ways that the Buskers Festival will need to adapt to the COVID age. Number six, pay wave instead of coins because no one's doing coins anymore. See, there's Buskers on Queen Street that have pay wave. Yeah. It blows my mind. You walk past me like, oh, I've got no cash.

Don't worry. Just pay wave. So many places are anti-cash now. I've seen so many signs being like, oh, no, just card or... I'm finding it so hard to launder money now. Are you? Yeah, I am. Yeah.

I'm trying very hard. It's hard to do cashies. Yeah. No one wants to do cashies. Number five on the list of the top six ways that the Buskers Festival will need to adapt to the COVID age. Any volunteers that magicians pull from the crowd when they're like, can I have a volunteer? Will have to get an on-the-spot COVID test

before they can participate. So just a quick zipper up the nose. That is my absolute, like, I would hate to be pulled from the crowd to be that person that stands in the middle of a Buskers thing. Yeah. Oh, no, that's a nightmare. No way.

You can say no. I feel like they can tell if you're one of those people. You don't make eye contact. Just look away. You just step back into the crowd. Yeah. It could get worse. You could get a COVID test on the way up.

Number four on the list of the top six ways to adapt the buskers festival for the COVID age, QR code check-in at every busker. Okay. And on that little board where they tell you why they're busking and what they're raising money for. That's where the QR code could be. Good idea. There's always somebody

What are they raising money for at the moment? Because it's always like I want to go overseas to an international festival. Oh yeah. Violin competition. Yeah, I don't know. It's probably just equipped to raise money. Queenstown weekend. Yeah, for a Queenstown weekend or just a nice meal.

Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six ways for the Bustlers Festival to adapt to the COVID age. Amateur ventriloquists wear masks, but that's mostly to mask the fact that they're not very good at ventriloquism,

but also they'll tell you it's for your own health. What a great idea. But then you can still see the mask moving a little bit, but if it's just a lip and a tongue thing you need to work on, then maybe a mask would cover it. I don't know.

Number two on the list of the ways to adapt the Buskers Festival for the COVID age, magicians have to make hand sanitizer appear as part of every show. Yeah. Right at the end before they move on to the next Busker. And for my final trick, hand sanitizer. Everybody please have a squirt. Get that in there.

Get it right in the fingers and remember to wash your hands. And number one on the list of the top six ways for the buskers festival to adapt to the COVID age. Unicycles all have to be two metres tall now to ensure that the unicyclists are always observing social distancing. Also, it's way funny when they fall from a really tall one.

So much further to fall, isn't it? That's today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. An Australian juror has got out of jury duty, whether or not on purpose,

inconclusive. Okay. But there's 15 jurors, which is weird because I always thought it was 12 jurors. Yeah, I said it all. They were like,

you will be judged by 12 of your peers. Oh. I didn't know. Courtroom jury. I thought they'd have to have an uneven amount, so it couldn't be an even split. Maybe.

Knock it down then. Seven seems like a nice number. Anyway, there's 15 jurors on a three-month trial because of a... It's 12. It's 12. In New Zealand, yeah. In New Zealand it is. And in America, I think.

Okay. Yeah, because that's where we've seen Zealand, yeah. In New Zealand it is. And in America, I think. Okay. Yeah, because that's where we've seen it on TV. But 15 in Australia. Always trying to be bigger and better than everybody else. Well, this trial's intense. It's a hitman's alleged murder of a bystander while working for a Sydney drug ring in 2017. Oh, that'd be a good one. That'd be a juicy one.

I mean, someone's died. That's horrible. And there'd be some gory details, I'd imagine. But would you want a case like that? Well, not gory enough to keep you awake, apparently, as one of the jurors kept falling asleep and had been for, according to justice, Peter Hamill residing over the courtroom

for a significant period of time, judging by her snoring. Wow. Yes. It was brought to my attention by the noise and other staff members, and there was a member of the jury who appeared to be asleep, and they were snoring. So they've been asked, they're out, they're off the...

They're done. So do they have to get a new juror? Because they wouldn't have heard all the previous... In this case, I don't know whether or not they have to... Yeah, right. Yeah, they have to get a new one. That just seems like such a good place to fall asleep, though. But once they were out, the other jurors turned on them.

One of them said they've been asleep at least four times. That would so be me, especially right now. Imagine getting up as early as we do, and then we have to toddle off to jury duty and pregnant, I'd just be like. Oh, I can't sit still somewhere quiet for too long without getting very heavy eyelids. And it would be kind of warm in there, I imagine,

and a lot of chat. But like, oh, there might be yelling chat if someone's getting passionate, but otherwise it might be they're just talking through the evidence and this and that and trying to remain calm. Do they give you a platter? Like, are there snacks?

I think when you retire, you get snacks, but not during. You can't be munching on crackers and cheese. They could give you non-noisy snacks. Like a roll-up. Yeah, lollies. Or a minty. Gummies. A minty. That'll keep you awake. And then. Or a minty. Gummies. A minty.

That'll keep you awake. And then you've got minty in your teeth and you're like. Go on. Sorry, I just got a bit of. Enduro number seven. Can you please shut your mouth when you chew that minty? Oh, no, I'm finished. I've just got minty in my teeth.

Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Okay, so this happened yesterday and I laughed and I laughed and the laughter got me in trouble. So my wife's like, just had a text message. This is how it happened yesterday. Oh, I thought you were about to be texted now

and say don't talk about this on the radio. No, no, no, she's not awake yet. Oh, no, she's awake. She's just not in the car yet. So she's like, I just got a text message. And the text message was from a hairdresser. Okay. And I said, what's going on?

What's the problem? And she said, my hairdresser wants to know if everything's okay. Okay. Oh, because she was standing outside the pharmacy. No, so Sade replies saying, yeah, no, I'm fine. And the hairdresser said, no, no, it's okay. I've been thinking about this, but about half an hour ago, I saw you outside the pharmacy and you looked really upset

and I just wanted to check in to make sure everything's okay. Which I thought was really nice. Yeah. Which I thought was really nice, but absolutely nothing was wrong and Sade just was walking past the pharmacy. And Sade's like, oh, no, no, no, no, everything's fine. Oh, I'm sorry if I worried you. And I was like, oh, my God, your face is such a bitchy face.

She's got a bitchy resting face. That she happened to go past you as you were passing a pharmacy and your face was in such a state that she assumed something was awfully wrong. I relate though. You've got a face. I relate because, and you Megan as well, you have the bitchy resting face and people are like, oh, he didn't look happy. I was like, no, I was happy.

I was fine. You know, sometimes you walk past like a window and you look at yourself and you're like, oh no, I'm okay. Like even you catch your own face and you're like, no I'm okay like even you you catch your own face and you're like oh I look really sour but people used to think I was like a real bitchy snob but that was just that's just my face I mean you are a bitchy snob yeah but it's just your face as well I'm shy but also my face isn't good off good vibes I think we've all got it because occasionally people were like oh my god I saw I saw Fletch the weekend, but he looked like he didn't want to be talked to. Oh no, that's accurate. That's accurate, but it's also Fletch gets in this,

if you listen to this show enough, you'll know Fletch is always in a hurry because he's got nothing to do. And when Fletch walks very big steps, very quickly, it looks like you're in a hurry to get somewhere, but that's just how you walk. Yeah, that's the sound. I struggle to keep up because I'm a... I can walk with a bit of pace, but I dawdle.

I appreciate the scenery. You literally walk ahead of us. Yeah. Yeah. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. You're like a mum. You're like a 1990s mum. You're in a hurry.

I'm in a hurry for whatever reason. But you don't have anything to hurry to. But people are like, oh, he looked like he was in a hurry. I'm like, oh, no, that's just Fletch all the time. Yeah. And I get it. People are like, yeah, oh, um oh i was gonna say hello but you didn't look like you wanted to talk to people and that's a fair assumption but it's just a bitchy resting face we're not alone and your wife is the same but how did she take this uh well i laughed enough that it didn't go down well i was just like how about like think i think about your face.

And that's what I kept saying to her. Hey, how about a smile, sweetheart? Were you up for a fight yesterday or something? No, because she put my horn in the bin. She put my drunk purchase of the horn in the bin. So it was actually like quite flirty. Oh, okay. Yeah, but then we were both retired at the end of the horn in the bin. So it was one of those. It was actually like quite flirty. Oh, okay. Yeah, but then we were both retired at the end of the day,

so I didn't eventuate to any lovemaking. Well, you said look at the state of your face. I can't imagine she wants to. Can we take some calls now? Do you suffer from bitchy resting face? And has it caused any problems? Like this, people text you and they're like, are you okay?

You looked upset when nothing was wrong? Maybe like even in a job interview, if you just look sour. Oh, see, in a job interview, I think because I know that I've got bitchy resting face, I'd probably overcompensate and be like, hi! And they'd be like, is he on drugs?

I went to talk to him, fully regret it. It's very intense. So give us a call. You've got to the problem where yesterday you smiled at executive intern Anya and she freaked out. It was an accident. It was an accident. You've been randomly smiling at us this morning and it's not okay.

It's weird. You're so jarring to the usual look that I get. There was discussion in the producer's booth of what you'd done wrong, wasn't there? I said, Jared, what's happening?

Why is he smiling? Okay, I'm not, I'm not going to stop smiling at you then. Is that better? But we are talking about bitchy resting face. Yeah.

Before that. Because my wife got a message from a hairdresser asking if everything was okay because apparently the store in public, she looked... But if it was... Does she have a sad resting face?

No, she doesn't have a sad... It's more of a stern resting face. So it's like I've done something wrong. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. Which is fair. I'm surprised the text wasn't what's born done now kind of thing.

Let's take some calls. Michelle, you suffer like Megan and myself from bitchy resting face? Yeah. At my old job, well, I kind of used to have a frown. At my old job, I would just have a natural frown. I wasn't angry, but I looked angry. Yeah. Concentrating, working.

Yeah, because I'm always thinking. So my boss would always walk past and tell me to smile because I look grumpy. I got so sick of it that I started getting Botox so I wasn't frowning anymore. Oh my god, he bullies you into Botox.

Out of interest though, does that work? Absolutely, yeah. Are you saying I should get an injection just to turn this frown upside down? On those frown lines. I think Breakfast Radio's had its fair share of Botox. This industry's overused its quota. The quota's full.

Thanks, Michelle. Anonymous, you suffer as well from bitchy resting face? Unfortunately, yes, I do. I get told very, very frequently to smile from numerous different people when I'm at work. And what kind of job do you do? Like, is it a serious job or are you like customer service? Yeah, no, it's quite a serious job. So I walk in the court, so I'm quite around quite a lot of people a lot of the time.

And one time I was just walking along the corridor and someone said, God, if looks could kill. And then I turned back and looked. I didn't think people said that anymore. I don't think it was all right to tell someone to smile or, come on, sweetheart, give us a smile or you'd look better with a smile. I just didn't think people said all right to tell someone to smile or, come on, sweetheart, give us a smile, or you'd look better with a smile. I just didn't think people said that anymore.

Clearly they do. And then I looked back at him when he said that, and he looked at me and shuddered, and so I just turned around and kept walking pretty quickly. Also, the courts don't need to be a smiley place. You're dealing with the criminals. No, you're just walking around the corridor. Yeah, brilliant.

You're just walking around the corridor. If you brilliant. You're just walking around the corridor. If you had a grin on your face, everyone would think you're up to something. I know, I know. Also, we just talked about jury duty before. Is there like a surefire way to get out of jury duty? Do you know? Is there a, what excuse works the best?

Oh, I really don't know about that. But honestly, people come up with the craziest of excuses. And if you really, really don't want to be there, you can probably get out of it somehow. I just turned up with no pants on. I'm going to go pretty quickly and get this thing on. Hey, thanks for your call, Anonymous. Lily, you suffer from bitchy resting face.

Hi, yeah, I'm a dancer, an exotic dancer, and customers have told me that while I'm on stage. Oh! Yeah, that would have, yeah. Excuse me, I am concentrating on what I'm doing. Sorry. What do you say to them? I'm defying gravity on a pole here, champ.

Yeah. Well, I just go around. I just go around and do my tipping rounds after, and they're like, oh, you're actually a really nice person. Oh, shut up. I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not. Okay, so that rules out another career for me with my bitchy resting face stripping.

Yeah, because that's the only reason your bitchy resting face. Hey, thanks you called Lily. Ask some text messages. Somebody said my daughter recently got taken out of class by the teacher because of the look on her face. When the teacher said, the teacher because of the look on her face. When the teacher said,

what's up with the look on your face? She said, this is just how my face looks. Somebody else said that the police pulled me over once and apparently because when I drove past, I had a look on my face that indicated to them that I was up to something. That's just a look. That's not even bitchy resting face. That's criminal resting face.

Criminal resting face. Yeah, lots of people who are at work have been told to smile. I just didn't think you could. Oh, no, we can't do that anymore. Especially not knowing what someone's going through. Yeah. It might be bitchy resting face, or they might be going through something really serious,

and you're like, oh, good, well, give us one of those smiles. 722 joining us on the show next. This is a big interview. Anthony and Simon from The Wiggles. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Joined on the phone by two members of iconic Australian band. I'd say the biggest Australian band of all time, bar none, The Wiggles. And we are joined by Anthony and Simon.

Hello. G'day, guys. Hello there. Good. Good. Great. How's lockdown and COVID times been for you guys? Look, not too bad.

I mean, we've had our restrictions released a bit, which has been nice. But, you know, we spend a lot of time together in the studio. We've really got to know each other very well over this last night. Even more so than when you're touring? Oh, absolutely. Can't get out of the place.

And it's only been us. When it was really strict, it was just the four of us and a camera person or a guy to do the recording. And we spent much more time than we usually do together. And that big red car, we wanted to get out in that and get together once in a while. Wow the big red car but only with people in your bubble and only within five kilometres of your uh allocated housing. And the problem with the big red car is uh social distancing is very tricky

we're a bit close in that thing. And it's got no roof on it as as I recall. You'd be right in amongst it. Anthony, I've got to say, are you ready for next year to be your 30th year as a Wiggle? I am. 30 years is a long time in anyone's... That's half my life in the Wiggles. So, no, it's been great. I'm looking back on it all all and we're all fruit salad.

It's got a bit of a, there's a meaning in there that, you know, what fruit would you be if you were a fruit salad? That's what I'm going to ask you guys. Oh, that's a good one. I'd be something like fancy, like a guava. Oh. Oh, guava, that's good. Nobody's putting guava in a fruit salad.

I'm more of a kumquat. A little bit sour. Yeah, a little bit of a tang. I'd be a kiwi fruit. Oh, yes, of course. Because of the regional, but also just it's a yum thing to strike. A grape can be tricky in a fruit salad, though, because it may have got the juice of the other fruit on it

and it will be a slippery little bugger to chase around the bowl. Oh, wow. Yeah. Do you know something about New Zealand I've noticed over the years, 30 years, and I know this is a strange fact, but is that you guys love cinnamon a lot more than Australians do in coffee. Really? When you get a cappuccino, it has cinnamon on it.

That's not natural. What do you guys have on a cinnamon? A bit of chocolate fluff or something? Just the chocolate, but over there it's cinnamon. I have to get used to it every time I get over there. We really question whether we should come back next year because of cinnamon. We are doing it.

We can put a ban on cinnamon then. What about cinnamon scrolls? Are you anti those? Cinnamon rolls? Yeah. I don't like cinnamon so much, but Simon loves it. Oh, yes, I do.

I'm a big fan. You are the first person I've ever met that doesn't like cinnamon. I thought across the board everyone loved a little bit of cinnamon. Not too much. We had a fellow on the road with us once who heard that cinnamon is good for weight control

and he used to carry a bottle of cinnamon around with him and he'd eat like a sausage roll and then put cinnamon on it. Put cinnamon on everything and then he got kipis though. Yeah, you're kind of defeating the purpose there. Yeah, this will make the sausage roll slip right through me. A little bit of cinnamon. Get a good coating of cinnamon. So this is going to be different, though,

the tour you've announced when you come into New Zealand. Assuming when you arrive that we're still sort of quarantining, you guys all need to do some time in isolation to get ready. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As at Herald's new podcast, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day.

Listen to The Front Page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Go New Zealand. Well, that's right. I mean, that's still all up in the air, but you know,

we've spent a lot of time together, so we'll just continue to do the same thing. We're ready to do it. We're ready. I think the Wiggles in managed isolation would be a really good

bit to follow online. I think it would be an interesting social media. A big brother and who would be first thrown out of the house? Well, if they're getting thrown out of that house, they're going into a more serious managed isolation facility. So I think the idea is everybody would want to stay in the house. Do you guys, with the touring, you're obviously looking forward to it,

but do you ever get tired and just want to like sit at home for a couple of weeks? I mean, maybe not now because you've been sat at home for so long, but does the touring ever get tiring? No, honestly, I mean, I love it. And I love the driving. We're doing an extra show in Christchurch and then we're driving, it says it's five

hours to Queenstown. And you know, that would probably take me seven or eight hours because I love stopping and looking where Captain Feathersword and Simon take about three and a half hours. But the thing is, we haven't been touring for, this will be our first tour for all year. We are pumped to do it. Yeah, on the road, sometimes you just physically get tired. But Simon's got some big news, so he'll be a little bit different for Simon. Oh, yeah.

Lauren, my wife, and I are having a baby in January. So she'll either be happy for me to get out of the house or she'll be annoyed that I'm leaving. I'm not sure which one it will be. All right, so no plans to bring her and the baby with? Yeah, actually, hopefully, yes. We've got to work all that out. But, you know, it's a big life change.

It's lucky as well. We've had twins recently. So we're going to have the wiggly crèche on the road, I think, with this. We'll put a trailer on the back of the big red car. As a couple of new dads, I was just thinking, I've heard of this band that are really good. Like, you can plop your kids down in front of the TV.

They'll watch it for hours. The Wiggles? They're great babysitters. I've been through that with my kids. And we'd be on the road and I'd come back and they're watching The Wiggles. That's so sweet. That's so nice.

Get in there. Get in there. Well, as much as I love Mario, I didn't want to see me. So you're like, turn off the wiggles for a different reason. You're like, no, I've been on the road with these three other dudes. Yeah, Jeff is always asleep. Turn it off. Brilliant.

Well, we're looking forward to the show. Looking forward to having the wiggles back in New Zealand. Yeah, live nation for tickets. Yep. Simon and Anthony, thanks for joining us. Thanks, guys. Great talk. Thank you. Can't wait to the shows. Looking forward to having the Wiggles back in New Zealand. Live nation for tickets. Yep. Simon and Anthony, thanks for joining us. Thanks, guys. Great talk. Thank you.

Can't wait to get there. Thank you. Bye-bye. It's Black Friday today. And I do have a few tips for you in terms of shopping. It is a great time to start your Christmas shopping because we're less than a month away. How do we feel about this? I saw a place doing a black week.

I was like, I think you've chosen. Is that term okay? Is that term okay? It just sounded a bit like. Right. Well, you didn't even think when I said that. You just thought the problem was they were having a whole week of sales. If the end of the week was Black Friday,

I would have assumed that it was to do with that. But that's silly. It's like, so it's Thanksgiving today in America because it's always a Thursday. Because that's where the Black Friday comes from, isn't it? So it's the Friday after Thanksgiving that says, Thanksgiving's out the way, let's get into Christmas. And so they have the specials.

But then, like, was it last year or the year before, places were opening on Thanksgiving to start their Black Friday sales. And it's creeping forward. And people die in America, don't they? Stampedes and stuff. Stampedes. Yeah. Thankfully, it's not that crazy in New Zealand.

No. But a couple of tips. They're no good to you now, but next year, you need to keep an eye on goods beforehand to stop that price. What do you call it? They make the price a little bit more expensive. It's kind of like a fake discount. A fake discount.

They make it look better than it is. Do your research, yeah, because the weeks before, they put the price up. So you think today and this weekend with Black Friday sales, you're getting a deal, but you're really not.

I have seen a couple of those. More on UK websites. Okay. Where you think you're getting a good deal, but because I've had my eye on it, I'm like, oh no, that's not a good deal. So last night you went crazy at the mall or should I say yesterday afternoon?

That's my other tip is that a lot of places do the Black Week sales or they start them on the Thursday and then it goes through to Sunday or even later. Do it on a day when no one's going to be there. Well that tip, we needed that yesterday, Megan.

I went to a mall for six hours yesterday and I smashed it. Six hours at a mall. That is my nightmare. That is horrible. No, but this is the thing. It was Thursday evening. It was quiet. Did you take a half-time break for a $10 naan?

$10 naan curry combo? We had a half-time break for some nandos. Nobody does a $10 naan? $10 naan curry combo? We had a half time break for some nandos. Nobody does a $10 naan. It's at least $13. Whereabouts are you going for a $10 naan? I don't go to the mall. I was just shooting in the dark. That's how much it cost when I used to go to malls.

That's a 2010 naan combo price. If that. God, it's at least $13. What about a lunch combo? Lunch combos are always cheaper than dinner combos, but they're exactly the same combo. I think the last combo I got, but I did get a big drink, was about $13, $14.

A large drink? Yeah, that might push up the naan combo. Well, I wouldn't pay any more than $10 for a lunch combo. This is my other tip. Make a list. Right. Because we just absolutely smashed out the list. We knew exactly where we were going.

What are you shaking your head at? What? What are you doing this for? Because you saved so much. There was like 50% off at a lot of places. So you wrote down you knew what shops were at that mall. Yeah. And when you went to the mall, you knew what you wanted from each shop and you knew how much of a discount each shop was going to have on it. Because I did my prep beforehand.

Why don't you put this much effort into work? I mean, I don't. It's a vehicle. I don't, but I also't you put this much effort into work? I mean, I don't. It's a vehicle. I don't, but I also don't put that much effort into anything. So go during the day if you can as well. Like if you're going to go today, go during the day. People have to work, Megan. But shift workers and stuff.

Right, okay. If you manage to find time, go during the day. Or a lunch break. Yeah. So you've done all your Christmas shopping? A lot of it. So you write down everything you're going to get for Christmas and get it this weekend or today for Black Friday.

And then it's out of the way. And so many good deals. A lot of the Black Friday specials are better than Boxing Day specials. Right. So, yeah. I mean, it does take a bit of effort, but you can get some really awesome bargains out there today. Tomorrow. Tomorrow for six hours. Saturday. I mean, it does take a bit of effort, but you can get some really awesome bargains out there today.

The mall for six hours. Saturday. I mean, Sunday. Well, someone who might not be going to the mall because they might be locked up in prison here at work. I don't know. Does work have a prison? I don't know.

They broke the law. I think it's called being fired. And Age Morley might be able to go to the mall more then. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Now, here at the company we work for, NZB, New Zealand Media Entertainment, there is an option that if you're travelling for work purposes,

you may use the pool car. Now, the pool car is a car that you have to book. A pool of people are eligible to book. That's the name of the pool car. I learnt that because I was like, why is it called a pool car? That's why. And they told me. And they're cute little nana cars.

A car your nana would drive. Now you've got your Hyundai i20. Yep. And you've got your Toyota Vitz. Is it a Vitz or a Yaris? So small silver cars. They're very small silver cars. Now, one of the people in the pool, one Carl Peter Fletcher.

Yes, Vaughn. Booked one of these. Well, actually, you probably got Mountie to book it for you, did you? I think, yeah. Because I remember hearing somebody you probably got Mountie to book it for you, did you? I think, yeah. Because I remember hearing somebody said to producer Mountie, what is the big boy not capable of doing his own booking, is he?

Which is funny. Do you even know how to do the booking? No, no idea. Because I refuse to do, it's admin. It's a lot of admin. So, the rule is the pool car cannot exceed the speed limit. It can go above the speed limit.

No, it can, it can, but it should not. And a notification is sent to work if the pool car does go above that. I was not to know that. Now, you were on Auckland's North Western Motorway. This is when we were going out to Whenupai. Whenupai, and we were late. I was excited because we were going in a plane. I received this email yesterday from the HR department.

Do you remember when we worked for that radio station, there was no HR department? Yeah, it was awful. How great was that? The one good thing. A lot of stuff happened there that wouldn't happen now. Then we get here and they're like, we've got an HR department.

We're like, what's that? Amazing. This is the email I received. It has come to our attention that during the 17th of November in Bold, you were recorded driving in excess of 110 kilometres an hour on multiple occasions with a top speed of 114 kilometres an hour. Carl Fletcher. You were driving next to us going faster.

I was keeping up with you. And my own private automobile. No, I wasn't. This is a reminder to ensure that the speeds are adhered to when operating a company vehicle. For more information, it says, please note that excessive speeding or repeat offences can lead to disciplinary action

as per the motor policy that you signed in your contract. And I mean the law that has a speed limit. You're lucky you didn't get a ticket. I didn't get a ticket and I was just doing that thing on the motorway going the same as everyone else.

I shouldn't get an email. This is a bad, this is the first bad mark against my name. Well, um, why deal with this one-sidedly via email if we go to line six right now we've got the HR department on the phone. Good morning. How are we?

Laura Bining, Citizens of Fine. 114. Come on. Oh my gosh, Rana, I haven't seen you for ages. I know, I know. 114. Oh, my gosh, Frano, I haven't seen you for ages. I know, I know. But 114, come on, Claire. I mean, it's disappointing. They're very sporty cars. They're very sporty cars.

Well, I'm sure it's got something to do with your foot rather than the actual make of the vehicle. But, I mean, what would I know? They just get away on you, Frano. They get away on you. Now, do you know if it's possible next time... Multiple occasions. Do you know if it's possible next time I use one of these company cars, can I wrap the

roof in tinfoil to stop this thing GPS-ing to you? Only I know how to turn it off. No, no, no. Only I know that. I'm sorry. I'm going to pop the boot and pull the wires out. This is some real big brother stuff. Well, the best thing is I can follow where you go.

Oh. That would be a weird insight. That would be weird. Don't ask. I just went where you guys went and then went back to work. I wasn't going anywhere. What is the disciplinary action that could follow that's in this email? Well, what's he potentially in for?

So depending on how bad it is, anything from actually not allowing someone to drive a company vehicle for a certain amount of time. That sounds great. Because I'd rather get a corporate cab. Like the sales reps and the management, they get corporate cabs. Well, then in your case, you have to stay remaining driving the vehicles then and then

if it's really, really really bad it might be like a naughty letter and if it's really, really, really really bad then maybe a termination but that's... That'd be ploughing through a group of people though or something. Exactly, exactly. So it doesn't happen very often but to be fair

you're not actually that bad. My highest so far is 139 kilometres. And a Yaris of all things. And a Yaris! I was going to say Hosking, but he doesn't drive. He would never be called dead in a pool car. 139, was that somebody from the motoring department? I cannot say.

Cannot say. I cannot say. But then also, and then I've also got an announcer who's actually received three of my kind love letters. So you're doing okay with just the one. You've driven a Paul Carter Hamilton Vaughan. I swear you got on the expressway up to, and sat at 99.9 kilometers per hour. Like a real gentleman.

Would you shit the bed? I'm just looking at the top speed of a Hercules aircraft, which could totally fit a Toyota Yaris in the back. Our friends at the Air Force could probably accommodate this. If you got a notification that it was going 592 kilometres an hour. We should have put it in the back of the Hercules when we jumped out of the plane, just to see you shit yourself. Oh, God, don't.

Don't give people bad ideas. It's driving over the Pacific Ocean at 600 kph. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Friday Flashback. Okay, this is described, the genre is described as acid house. Acid house.

Wow. So British. Yes. Now, this song. Basement Jaxx? No. I did look at doing a Basement Jaxx, but no. It went to number one in Spain and number two in Belgium.

Well, not really. But it's a banger from 2008. Now, I didn't know that this song was a re-release of a song early, early 90s. Okay. Even upon hearing it, I've never heard it before. But I've got a clip of the... Original. Of the original.

You might be able to tell what the song is. I've got no idea. There's a clue in what he's saying. No. I reckon just play that one. So weird. What a jam. It's so weird. And also did a lot for the saxophone community

this song. Any guesses? I've got no idea. From 2008. And it was a big in New Zealand. Yeah. You'd probably still hear it every now and then.

I've heard it and thought, you know, we need this one more time. Okay. From 2008, The Guru Josh Project, Infinity. Infinity. Infinity.

Yes. Here's my key. Philosophy. Yes, all right, ZM. A freak like me just needs infinity. Relax Take your time Take your time To trust in me

And you will find Infinity Infinity And you will find infinity Infinity Infinity Infinity Infinity Infinity Infinity

Infinity Infinity Infinity Infinity Take your time to trust in me And you will find infinity And time goes by so naturally While you receive infinity

Here's my key, philosophy A freak like me just needs infinity Take your time Take your time to trust in me And you will find infinity Infinity Infinity Infinity Infinity

Infinity Infinity Infinity Take your time Trust in me And you will find Time goes by so naturally While you receive Infinity It's Guru Josh Project Infinity. Megan's pick for Friday flashback. What?

Good. I like it. The feedback was really like, Great Jam Megan brings back memories of clubbing at the Outback in Hamilton. Somebody said, My mum is dancing and I am very confused. And that's fair enough, but don't be confused. That was 2008.

It's not that long ago. Yeah, but if that kid was born then, they're 12 now. Wow. You know when you're 11 and your mum's dancing and you're like, it's a confusing time. It's going, oh, mum, what do you call that one? Great feedback, banger. Gave me goosebumps. Someone got goosebumps. Mum. What do you call that one? Ah, great feedback. Banger.

Gave me goosebumps. Someone got goosebumps. Wow. Was it the saxophone breakdown? Might have been the saxophone, yeah. It's probably the flashback to all the pingers, to be totally honest. Got the shivers. Oh, God.

Yeah, God. Tuesday sawjaw. How are you, man? Are you having a good time? Can you play that? Can you put that song back up again and quite loud? Okay, sure. Here's my key.

How are you, man? You're all right. He just needs infinity. I haven't seen Steve for ages. How's he going? I just this morning I'm a little left field out of the blue but I love you eh?

And then, what's this shirt you're wearing, what's that made of? Feels good. I can't drink I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just

I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just

I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just

I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just

I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just

I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just

I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just

I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just

I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just

I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just

I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just

I'm just I'm just I'm just Into the studio yesterday. Yesterday as we were wrapping up, it said, this text message read, I'm texting this purely to get an immediate text back because a lady I don't like is talking to me and I can pretend the text back is my kid's school and they've puked or something. Brilliant. That's great.

That's fantastic. Because yeah, you do when you text 9696, you get an automatic reply back. Straight back. Yep. And it tells you, I don't know, what does it say at the moment? It's like an immediate, hey, thanks for texting situation. And then promote whatever's going on.

So that's a great hack. Well, you were absolutely amazed by it. I was amazed. I thought that's fantastic. I've actually got the person that sent that text on the phone. Maybe she wants to remain nameless. I'm not sure. Good morning.

You can name me. Michaela. Ain't no shame. Did that work, Michaela, getting the automatic text back? Yeah, it did because I can't rely on anyone else to text back straight away. Yeah. Yeah, okay. And then so how was your acting, though, when that reply text came back?

Oh, look, it's brilliant. I can, at the drop of a hat, put on the concerned parent face. And so how was your acting, though, when that reply text came back? Oh, look, it's brilliant. I can, at the drop of a hat, put on the concerned parent face. Oh, shit, my kid's puked. Have to go. Can't talk about your new little pyramid scheme, sorry. Yes. Wow.

As great as a Mercedes does sound. We should set up a keyword because when you do text 9696, if the first word you send is a specific word, it will cater the text message back to you. So we could set up kid to 9696 could send you back, hey, it's the school, your child has been sick, please contact us ASAP.

That would be good. I have different ones. So if you don't have kids, you could have house. And it could be like, hey, don't have kids, you could have like house. And it could be like, hey, it's the neighbours. Your house is on fire. Like that sort of thing. What about, hey, it's your doctor. It's highly contagious.

Yes. I don't know. Maybe in 2020. Just currently. Maybe we'll wait for at least next year. It's not COVID, but it's about as bad. Brilliant. Amazing.

Thank you for sharing that with us, Michaela. Was that the first time you'd done that, Michaela? I think if you scroll up my text, I've done it before, but I've just sent in like a quick word instead of pretending to type an email. Wow, that's brilliant. I love it. You must really hate talking to people. Yeah, I'm horrible.

I get that. I get that. I feel like your inflate would get on the rack. We thought, Michaela, thank you for sharing. We thought this morning we could take this

a step further and ask if you have a little way to get out of things like this. Yeah. Because a lot of partners have secret words

and looks, don't they? A little squeeze of the hand. A little squeeze of the hand. We're off. Yeah. I feel like you and Sade would have a code word or just a look. Well, it changes though. It might be like, you might rub the bridge

of your nose like that. It's not something you do normally. So if you see them doing that, you're like, we're ready to leave. It has to be something you don't normally do. We have a specific smile. We'll look at each other and be like, yeah.

Oh, you know, that's obvious. That's obvious. That smile's obvious. If you pull that smile and then Andy P's like, hey, we better get going. I'll be like, oh, this is totally

a planned exit. Yeah, that look on your face, how would you describe that look Megan just did? Sarcastic smile. Yes, a sarcastic smile. Do it one more time.

I'm really enjoying myself. Like, yeah,astic smile. Do it one more time. I'm really enjoying myself. Like, yeah, rescue me. If I was talking to someone and they smiled like that, I'd be like, oh, okay, we're done here. We're definitely, you are not enjoying this.

Maybe save you the problem. Because I remember, do you remember when iPhones first came out, there was that app where you could set a timer and it would ring you back? Yes.

And it would make it look like a contact. I don't know if that's still a thing. Oh, yeah. 100%. But I reckon that people would maybe use that still. Yeah, the fake caller. The fake caller.

Definitely. Or have you ever been in a situation like this where you've texted Fred and said, hey, call me and fake an emergency? Just to get out of a party or even a date. Like, have you been on a date? There's dates where you'd be like, call me in half an hour to see how this is going.

And if it's good, I'll just tell you it's good. But if it's bad, we can talk and make it look like. Yeah, I always do that for my bestie when she's on dates. Just in case she needs the out. Right. And then if she needs the out, you'll just be like, oh my God, my leg's broken. You need to come quick.

Or she'll just message back, all good. Fine, don't need you. Okay, good. Yeah, that's good to have. Okay. We want to know your ways of getting out of things. Things you don't want to be at anymore. Maybe it's a dinner.

Maybe it's just talking to somebody and you need an evacuation plan. Or a date. We got a text message using our studio text system yesterday. Yeah. Just so Michaela could get out of a conversation. So she got a text straight back and she was like, oh God, it's the kids' school. They've been sick, I've got to go. And got out of a conversation that she didn't want to be in.

You parents are always, you're going to be able to do this soon, Megan. Yeah. Oh, my kids are sick. Because Vaughn always uses this excuse. You can't say,

oh no, stuff your kids because it could be real. You think that's bad. Somebody messaged in saying, I have epilepsy. Is it bad that I pretend

I feel I have a seizure coming on just to get out of things? Whatever works. No, that's you. Use it to your advantage. Yeah, exactly. You're using it.

It's bad if you don't have epilepsy and you're pretending. That's not okay. But if you've got it, you use it. April, what do you do to get out of things? So my friend is newly single, one of the tragic COVID breakups. Okay. But when she goes out on dates, we have a specific emoji

that we use that she will send me and once I get this emoji, I will give her a ring. Oh, right. Okay. But if she sends the eggplant, she's continuing on with the date? Absolutely. Yeah. Is the emoji a secret? What emoji is it?

So, you know that you know when you go into your emojis, there's one that looks like a little red monster? Yeah, I like that one. That's a good emoji. That's one of my faves. It's just sort of like, it's an ugly emoji, and it's like not going well. Not going well.

Somebody get me out of here. Their friend in there have a snake emoji system. Oh, yeah. And there's tears. One snake is for call, just so I've got someone to talk to. Three snakes is call me hysterically crying. I'm making it sound like something's really, really bad, so I can leave immediately.

And five snakes is helicopter me out of here. Yeah. Immediately. DEFCON 1. You're really banking on your friend's acting skills, though. You are. April, thanks. You're cool.

Talia, what do you use to get out of things? So my one is if I'm out with my partner and I don't want to be where I am or if I feel like it's a bad situation, I just straighten my septum piercing in my nose to make it clear. So when he sees me playing with it, he knows that that's time to go, like I've had enough. Okay. Because you could turn it different ways, couldn't you?

Yeah. Normally it's crooked. Normally I don't care about it at all. And it's a little like shoe horse. And then if I straighten it, my partner will see it and be like, oh, okay, yep, we're off. Oh. Wow. I thought you meant straighten as in like make it straight, like a straight bar.

No, no, no. Oh. She's got the straight bar in, guys. I gotta go. Thanks you, K straight bar. No, no, no. Oh, she's got the straight bar in, guys, I gotta go. Thanks for your call, Talia. William, what do you do to get out of things? Well, I once pretended to coach peewee football so I could get a lovely wahine

at my house early doors. I don't know. What? So, I had to usher her out of the house pretty early, and I said, look, I've got to go coach. I'm coaching eight to ten-year-olds football. Oh, right, but you weren't coaching.

You just wanted them to leave. Yes. That's risky, though, because I'd want to come along and watch. Like, that's quite cute. Yeah, it kind of backfired. They fondled me a bit more because I was dedicating my time to the youth of today. Yeah, so that's quite an endearing thing. Brilliant.

William, thanks for your call some text messages. Someone said, I just straight up tell people I don't want to talk to them anymore and leave. So that's... My text from Fletch. You were boring. Just go boring. We are not hooking up. I will leave now.

I will no longer invest any time. Life hack, get one of those tile Bluetooth trackers. When you want to get out of a conversation, you tap it and it makes your phone ring for a fake ring time. Oh, okay. Those little white ones that you put on your key ring. Yep. I don't think I'd do that subtly though.

I don't know that they did that. Tap. Yeah. Whacking at your pocket. Someone said, our code word is tomorrow. Anytime you can say anything about tomorrow. No, you've got to use a code word that you don't use in everyday conversation. What if you accidentally just talk about plans tomorrow?

And then all of a sudden your friend's packing up. What if you want to sing that song from that musical? Annie? Is? Annie? Is it Annie? Is it Annie tomorrow? And someone's like, oh, I only know one song on the piano. It's tomorrow. You're like, well, I can't sing because my partner will think we're going to leave.

And I've gone to a whole musical. And you're having a good time. You have to put it together. Yeah. And lots of people, a few people have just been like, I just tell people I'm sick of talking. And they're out. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about how in the year 981. Yep. So over a thousand years ago. Is this after Jesus? Yes. Okay. Yep.

981 AD. How they picked the site for the hospital and what is now Baghdad? Oh, okay. Any ideas on how they picked the site for the hospital? Was it up high? Why? Flooding and stuff. Flooding and stuff.

Yeah. Nope. It may have stuff, yeah. Nope. It may have been, but that wasn't where they did it. Best land they could find. Best spot for a rescue helicopter. There was plenty. Yeah, they took that into account. Okay.

Definitely over a thousand years ago, they were thinking, now where's the helicopter going to be best for the flight path? There was a nice breeze. Do they have sea? A sea breeze? Yeah, there could be a sea breeze. Well, the sea breeze may have been taken into account.

But how they decided was they picked 25 locations they liked. And in each one of those locations, they hung a piece of meat from a tree, if there was a tree there, or they made like a hanging, something to hang it from. Okay. And they left it there for a few days and then they came back and they thought where the piece of meat

was less infected, less rotten and less fly-blown would make a great spot for a hospital. And also less like predators because you don't want your patients getting eaten

by like safari lions. That's true. In Baghdad. I don't know how safari lions are made. Hospitals have doors. Not in 900 AD. They didn't know how fast it goes. Hospitals have doors. Not in 900 AD. They didn't invent doors until 14 AD.

1400 AD. They had curtains. Yeah, but a lion can push straight through a curtain. Beaded curtains trip them up though. Oh yeah, very confusing. Because they clink and they like. There's weight to it. There's weight.

They're just like, but what's this? And then they lie down because they're just big cats at heart and they back the beads. And you're safe in the hospital. Yeah, leaving their soft underbelly exposed, then you can slay the beast and remain safe in hospital. But yeah, they just hung up a whole lot of meat all around the city and they went back a few days later and they were like,

well, this one has got the least flies on it. Right. The least rot. And maybe, like you said, the sea breeze could have played a part in that. Yeah, right. A cool breeze could have kept it from spoiling too much. So there's a little tip if you're thinking of starting a new city and you're looking for the ultimate spot to build a hospital.

Or maybe you're a DHB. Yeah. Maybe hang a bit of meat at the front door. You're like, where are we going to extend the hospital? In which direction? Put some chops in the car park. Yep. And see how they go.

Hang them up and come back in a few days and see which meat is the least rotten. So today's fact of the day is an ancient hospital location was decided upon by leaving meat out and seeing which piece of meat was the least rotten. Fact of the day!

Day, day, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Fishy Tank. Season two. Backed by Photophone Business. Well, we're looking for the side hustlers of New Zealand. A lot of these started because of COVID. A lot of people stuck at home,

either jobless or with reduced hours or just with time on their hands to finally get that business idea off the ground. And season one was such a runaway success. We're back. And all thanks to Vodafone Business, $5,000 is up for grabs. It is going to be so hard to pick just even finalists.

Yeah. All of the little companies we've had so far have been so awesome. All right. Well, let's meet our first contestant. Diving into the fishy tank is... Jamie, good morning. Good morning. All right.

So we're going to give you 30 seconds, Jamie, to pitch your side hustle to us. Your time starts now. Yay Doe was developed to create a familiar product but in a unique way that gives children the avenue to unbox their imagination. How do we do this, you ask? By creating Play-Doh boxes that are customized for each and every child. While your child is enjoying creating their own world, you can enjoy knowing your child is playing with gluten-free and non-toxic Play-Doh.

And that 10% of your purchase helps support Heart Kids New Zealand. Visit us on Instagram and give the children or grandchildren of your life a truly unique and special gift this Christmas. Aw. Yay-do. Yay-do. Brilliant, okay. Yay-do.

Do you know what blows my mind about all these businesses? They're small side hustles, but they're also giving. Like, you're giving 10% of your proceeds to Heart Kids New Zealand. Yes. How long have you been doing yay-do? I started about the end of July. I saw it on, it's kind of a big thing in the States, and I thought it was a unique thing that's not really taken off here in New Zealand,

so I thought I would give it a go, and it's done really well. And Heart Kids is special to me because it's kind of the reason I came to New Zealand. I nannied a little girl that was a heart kid. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, so it's a great opportunity to give back to such a great charity. That's fantastic. And so I'm just looking at your Instagram now.

You just packaged the dough up with little toys and, yeah, all customized. Yeah, and so you pick a theme and then the children get to choose what their Play-Doh colour is and it's personalised on the top of the box with their name and you know, kids really

find it really special to have things that say their name and so it's, yeah, and it's really fun to do too. That's not just kids, that's people named after them. Who have never had anything with their name. And so it's, yeah. And it's really fun to do too. That's not just kids, that's people named Jamie. Who have never had anything with their name on it. Amazing.

Jamie, thank you so much. And you can check out yay underscore doe on Instagram. Let's meet our next contestant. Entering the fishy tank next is... Good morning, Amy. Morning, how are you?

Good, good. All right, so Amy, your 30 seconds to pitch us your side hustle starts now. Hi, my name's Amy and I make popsicles, which are ice blocks for dogs. And the reason I started this is because I love to enjoy an ice block while I walk my dogs. But the one thing I found annoying last summer was that I could not enjoy my ice blocks in peace because my dogs would always try to eat them. So I decided to make some homemade dog ice blocks out of bone broth and tendons.

The idea is that the whole thing is edible, even the stick. Follow us on Facebook or Insta to see how they've been a hit with all the dogs I know. Pupicles are the perfect treat to cool your dog off after a walk or a great way to entertain your dog so that you too can enjoy your ice block and taste this summer.

Yes. Oh, Amy, I love this idea because I was going to do it myself. I wanted to create dog ice cream because I totally agree with you. Yeah, you take them for a walk and you want to give them like an icy treat. Yeah, well, a lot of dogs maybe aren't prone to actually drinking fluids after their walk, so it's a great way to get some fluids into them. Yeah, right. Megan, of course,

is too lazy to get this idea off the ground. You're like, why didn't you do it? I was like, because this side hustle is hard. Yeah, it is. Okay, yeah, no, great idea. And it's cool that the stick is edible. Yeah, that's the whole idea is that it's safe for dogs and the ingredients are actually beneficial to dogs too.

Tendons are really good for chewing. It satisfies that innate need for the dogs to, you know, chew on something as well. I'm imagining the stick's quite small, but just another idea, could you just do a giant tree branch, set the Popsicle on it, and then that's a good throwing stick for the dog. Well, the popsicle on it and then, then that's a good throwing stick for the dog.

Yeah. Well now you're on to something. Yeah. And also you just go beef broth and tendons. That's actually my father-in-law's

favourite dish. So I might get a couple of them. He would actually, he would. He straight up would eat this dog popsicle. He would.

Brilliant. Amy, where do we find you? Facebook or Instagram. Follow Popsicles for Dogs. Popsicles, like popsicles, but with a U instead. Awesome. Popsicles for Dogs. Amazing.

Thank you, Amy. Again, two brilliant ideas, and we're getting so many entries. But, hey, don't let that put you off. Get them into us now. Go to ZM Online and register. We're going to take some more pitches. The final pitches on Monday before we have a winner next week. All backed

by Vodafone. $5,000 up for grabs. A Vaughan Smith jingle. Yeah. And that's probably the big prize there. Priceless. Priceless. Absolutely priceless. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Well, you may remember I coached my daughter's hockey team this year.

And then COVID hit. COVID hit. COVID hit, went coaching, COVID got done again, and then the hockey season was finished. And you even got one of those Steve Hansen coaching jackets. And I got a lucrative coaching offer from Kookaburra. They said they wanted to sponsor me as a coach and join their coaching program.

Did they? Did they? They did. Did they? Yeah. Well, it didn't eventuate. I don't think you should just be dragging them into that. Well, no, I got a text message on my phone from Mark. He's like, are you coaching summer?

What are we doing? And I said, get in touch with me again next year. So you've got a deal lined up for next year's coaching. Coach Smithy powered by Kookaburra. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. My first sporting sponsorship. Scoff, if you will, but have you ever been sponsored to be involved in sport?

No. No, you haven't. So stick it. So yesterday we were sitting around and I said to Indy, are you going to play hockey next year? And we were having a bit of a chat about it. And then she said, do you know Chase's dad? Oh, Tiger Mum over here.

Yeah. Start practising. No, it wasn't like that at all. It wasn't like that at all. It wasn't like that at all. And she said, you know, Chase's dad used to coach the hockey team. I was like, yeah, I talked to him about it. One of the dads at school, Blaise's name. And she's like, oh, yeah, he used to be a black stick.

I was like, what? And she's like, yeah, he was a black stick. Do you know what a black stick is? I said, yeah, it's like the All Blacks. It's like the national team for hockey. And he's like, yeah, that's what he said. That's what he said. I was like, oh, I don't know if that's right.

Because you've got a sponsorship deal coming up. You'd know. And Sade's like, what? And I said, are you sure it wasn't? Because, you know, when you're a kid, your dad's like What? And I said Are you sure it wasn't Because you know when you're a kid Your dad's like the best Oh my dad's a black stick

Could have been a black stick Or that And I was like Hold on What's Blair's last name? What is Blair and Connor's last name? Sade? And she's like hopping

And I google hopping Black stick Yep sure enough Blair was a black stick Playing for 12 Over 12 years. Oh, wow. Debut in the year 2000 against

Pakistan. Played through to the 2012 Olympics and then was the coach of the hockey team the year before I was. Went to the Olympics. He's an Olympian. The New Zealand Olympic team. He's got a number and everything. You know how if you go to the Olympics for New Zealand, you get a number? 914. I don't have one of those. No, but you've got a number and everything. You know how if you go to the Olympics for New Zealand you get a number?

914. I don't have one of those. No, but you've got a... Not that I couldn't have had one. I could have gone to the Olympics. Yeah, but you're pending a sponsorship deal. What could I have gone to the Olympics for?

Probably the shooting. No. You lack the attention span to stay still and shoot something. Oh, bird. Yeah, I'd be like, go. Hey, what's that?

Oh, no, no, I didn't mean go. I mean, ah. No, not to take anything away from the skeet shooters because they're very skilled. So that team went from an Olympian, a black stick. Yes. To Vaughn Smith. Vaughn.

Yeah, okay. I heard all this whole comedy routine got peddled out in our lounge the other night when Sade decided it was time to lay it on thick for the old Smithy. Oh, Sade was like, God, imagine the school's disappointment. I'm surprised they didn't say anything. You tuning up, no idea with that stupid book you downloaded your points off the internet on how to coach hockey, didn't you?

She went in. You had all the ideas. Oh, Mr. B rep team from the under 15s in 1995. He thought he was rolling in and doing the school a big favour, taking away from the black stick that coached him the year before. Wow. Wow. She's not wrong, though.

Yeah. No. Yeah, so. It's probably lucky you didn't have many games this year. Yeah, no, that's actually a blessing in disguise, wasn't it, COVID? Got me out of, I mean, we lost everyone we played, but it could have been worse.

We could have lost way more. Yeah. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZDM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts and music lives here ZM