ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 28th January 2021

Episode Date: January 27, 2021

BBQ King  Pax Assadi!  Top 6: eBabies  Refund Your Date!Hayley's Neighbourhood Pact  Did you meet someone while you were on a date?  Anna's Tyre Tale  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fletch Vaughan and Megan podcast with Hayley Sproul. It's thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe Coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. It's a really exciting day here for me today because it's settlement day on the little house that I've bought. You've bought the house. I was just being a nosy parker. So I said, show me the house. And you told me the address. So I googled it. Google Maps pops it up. And I say, oh, your house has been positively reviewed. And Hayley's like, what?

I'm like, yeah, it's currently got two reviews, and both were five stars. On Google? Yeah. I didn't know that you could review a personal residence. So somebody has to nominate it, right? Or you put it up. So have you bought a tinny house? I don't know know or a party house

maybe i'll find out very quickly that maybe i have if you've bought a tinny house you'll know about it i won't say the night because they've named the house of the they've given the owner's name and i've met her and uh she was a lovely woman had a teenage son living there the teenage son it just like it's a teenage son because the people that have given the reviews, I've clicked on other things that they've reviewed. And yeah, their reviews are all a bit silly. They reviewed Wash World

on St. Luke's Road. I've been there. Yeah, I love a Wash World. They use recycled water. Do they? Yeah, so that's why everyone went to Wash World during the water restrictions in Auckland. Where do they get any water from? I don't know. Poos.

I don't want someone's shower water going on my car. I don't want a four-wheel driver coming into Wash World. Or maybe they've got like a water tank. Maybe they've got a, you know. They've got their own tanks. God, they get through those in no time. But they reviewed that five stars saying my grandmother is sick. They reviewed the Mount Albert Library saying I love men.

So it's like. Oh, classic. Well, about my house, I feel quite good the Mount Albert Library saying I love men. So it's like, oh, classic. Well, about my house, I feel quite good because they've said good house, sturdy, nice purchase. Yeah. And the other one just says good.

Okay, that's what you need. So when I walk in there today and I get the keys and I'm, you know, it's finally mine, I hope it's good. Are you going to just be settling in and someone will be like,

yeah, you still love me? Yeah. Son. How do you ask, I've never ever been to a tinny house. What will be like, yeah, you still selling? How do you ask? I've never ever been to a tinny house. What do you say when you knock on the door? Hello?

Marijuana, please. Yeah, I'm here for a touch of weed, thanks. Are you going to do anything tonight? Are you going to have like a celebratory wine? Yeah, we've already bought a bottle of champers. It's in the fridge. I'm going to be turning up late. And I don't know, just walk around and probably pick holes in it.

You know how you do that? We're a bit like that. You buy it, you're all excited, you get in, you're like, it's not that great. Yeah. Did you do one of those final settlements where you go around and you make sure everything's still got everything they said would be there? No, we haven't done that. Flip the lights on and off. Because when I moved into my last house of the whole house two lights worked wow

did they replace the bulbs with broken ones or something no we just never tested them until we actually moved in and then the sun set and I went to vlog

on the lights I was like oh okay cool no we were quite thorough when we were first looking okay good I even hopped in the shower I always test the pressure

good pressure good pressure I think I got blinded by the pressure at our place oh really lost a patch of skin ZM hit music lives here Flesh, fauna, Megan Good pressure. I think I got blinded by the pressure at our place. Oh, really? Lost a patch of skin.

Next on the show, there has been a list released of all of the places in Auckland that these two latest... That might be news to people waking up or just awake now that there's two more cases of COVID-19 in New Zealand believed to be linked to the same managed isolation facility. Yeah, they tested negative twice and then they left the Pullman Hotel. Seems everybody's getting the vid late in the stay. Yes. There's some inter-guest mingling with new people who just arrived. Or is it the air con?

Is it all linked up? Because that happened in Brisbane. It's been noted in a couple of places. Right. Because it is airborne, isn't it? Yeah. So it gets sucked up into the vent, travels its way into your room. Well, there will be extra testing locations and locations all over Auckland today.

They are asking you only to go if you have symptoms or you've been in one of these places. Yeah, don't go just for fun. The list is out of like 15 places. I thought what we could do next is go through this list, but there is one location that the person visited four times. Oh, a regular. In two days.

We need to talk about this food place because it must be good. I'll give them a chance to give it a good clean, but it is definitely on my list of restaurants to try in 2021. Although just looking at the online reviews, they're a bit mixed. Oh, that's what you want. Four times in two days. So they're doing lunch, dinner, lunch, dinner. I believe it was a lunch, dinner, lunch, dinner time.

I don't see how these reviews could be bad. All right, we'll go through that list next. But coming up on the show, PAX is in. PAX Society's popping in to talk Frickin' Dangerous, Bro, the series, which is now on TVNZ On Demand. And it's frickin' dangerous, bros. They're just touring around the country, aren't they? Yes.

Stopping off at little... Going up and down, meeting the bloody larrikins up and down the country. As safely as possible in these COVID times. Yeah. Oh, no, they did it... Dangerously safe. They did it pre-Pullman cluster. Yeah.

And then they perform in these towns and they do stand-up comedy. And it's said to be a blimmin' laugh. Right. Coming up on the show, the top six names of Pullman could call itself after all of this. Is that it? We're in Jet Park when it needs a full rebrand.

I've got the top six other places your parents might have met. News that are e-babies. These are people whose parents met online. On dating apps. Yeah, we'll soon outnumber children whose parents met traditional manner. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Well, news overnight that there are two confirmed cases in the community. These were two people that were at the Pullman Hotel,

along with the Northland positive case. Previously, they returned two negative tests. They left the Pullman, as you do, because they did their time. And then, yeah, it turns out that they have it. Because as part of, they retested everybody that had left the Pullman within the last, like, week or two weeks, right? Which has found these two positive cases. Uh-huh.

Now, one of them, I believe one of them, the places they went and checked in on the COVID app have been released. They have indeed. I've got that list. It's everyone's worst nightmare, isn't it? Having the, we have gone to eat and shop. But do you know what? It's just a reminder that we've all got to be doing this because it makes it so much easier.

Like if they hadn't been scanning in. Who knows where they went? Who knows? Yeah. So this person, they went to Barbecue King in Albany. And then they went to Pack and Save. And then they went back to Barbecue King in Albany. That's the same day.

And then they went back to Pack and Save. Right. So it goes Barbecue King, Pack and Save, Barbecue King, Pack and Save. And then back to Barbecue King in Albany. Okay. Then to Caltex. And then this is going to shock you, for a fourth time, back to Barbecue King in Albany. That's four times in two days.

Now, I don't know if you know this, Hayley, but we actually have a food influencer working on the show. Do we? We do. Henny's Noms. Henny's Noms, executive internania. You had a good morning. Produced Side Hustle. Yeah, Henny's Noms on Henny's Noms, Executive Internania. You had a good morning. Side hustle.

Henny's Noms on Instagram. Thank you so much. Where you go and eat food and post delicious photos about it and review it. And one time Nando's gave me free vouchers, so therefore I'm an influencer.

She's an influencer, yeah. Congratulations. Did Nando sway your review though of their product? No, because it was genuinely good and I can't be bought out. I'm not that sort of influencer. Yeah, good. She's got integrity. Oh, do you? Yeah, a, of their product? No, because it was genuinely good and I can't be bought out. I'm not that sort of influencer. Yeah, good.

She's got integrity. Oh, do you? Now, have you been to Barbecue King because this pizza went four times in two days? It must be good. I haven't, but it's certainly going to be added to the list. They've got a 21-page menu,

which is very... They've got some diverse options here. It freaks me out, and I love it, but it freaks me out when I go to a place and the menu is like a ring binder. It's been bound down the middle at mum's work. What do you call it? Is it a concertina where it opens up? Oh yeah,

multiple times. Yeah, foxy. How are they ready to cook all of these meals? Surely there's some obscure stuff on there. I know. I'm just having a look at the menu. They've got that thing where you can pick your own fish out of the tank, pick your own lobster live out of the tank.

I regularly eat at places where that's an option, like Yum Cha or regularly. Yep. And not once have I ever been like that one. Like I've never, I look at them and I'm like, you poor buggers. Yeah. I mean, I'll eat you, but I don't want to have to single you like, that one. Like, I've never, I look at them and I'm like, you poor buggers. Yeah. I mean, I'll eat you,

but I don't want to have to single you out before I do. You don't want to see your food before you eat it. You just want it on the plate. You don't want to get to know its personality. Look it in the eye. I want to know that it came from a good place that wasn't like non-sustainably, I'm guessing yumcha doesn't worry too much about that.

Reviews are a bit mixed for the BBQ King in Albany though, aren't they? Have you seen these? Yeah. Look, good things bit mixed for the BBQ King in Albany though, aren't they? Have you seen these? Yeah. Look, good things have room for improvement though. It seems like it's a nice, clean place,

but the staff could be a bit more attentive is what I'm picking up. Oh, really? And one, I don't know, it looks like a one white woman ordered no food with chilli in it at all

and they were upset to see chilli flakes. Oh, that's on you, white woman. I didn't know my mum went there. Did she bitch and moan about coriander as well? Probably. You can't go to a Chinese restaurant and ask for no spice whatsoever. Get yourself to Lone Star and shut it.

Yeah. So just running through the rest of the list quickly. So they are Pakensei BBQ King, Pakensei BBQ King, Caltex, Oriwa. Then back to BBQ King. Hickey's Pharmacy, Oriwa. So maybe they were feeling a little unwell. Farmers. Farmers Albany.

Maybe they wanted some eyeliner. Because there are two. There's one in the mall and a standalone. That needs to be. This is the mall one, I believe. Oh, okay. Which is terrifying. Okay.

Because that would mean everyone in the mall. Has COVID. Because I saw comments online and they said they'd reiterate and get back on that. Oh, right. To which farmers it was. Okay, well, that's good. Stay tuned on that. They went to Taiping Supermarket in Albany, New World Orewa, and Taiping Supermarket Northcote.

And what dates were these? This is between mostly the 17th and 18th of Jan, and then the pharmacy, farmers, and Taiping Supermarket is the 23rd and 24th of Jan. Right, so that list is at the COVID website, and all the news outlets are running with that. You can go to the Herald website for that list. Yeah, I mean, COVID19.gov.nz is your first stop for information. Straight from the horse's mouth. Yeah, I mean, covid19.gov.nz is your first stop for information and questions. Straight from the horse's mouth.

Yeah. Yeah. And everything. They've got all the latest stuff on there. But like they said today, if you do, if you are in Auckland

and you are concerned, if you've been to one of these places or you have symptoms, get a test. Otherwise, they're saying don't because otherwise

they'll be overwhelmed with people who are just freaking out for no reason. Yeah, people are waiting in line for eight hours. So, I mean, it's not a fun test if you don't need Because otherwise they'll be overwhelmed with people who are just freaking out for no reason. Yeah, people are waiting in line for eight hours. So, I mean, it's not a fun test if you don't need it. Don't get it. Yeah. Coming up on the show, Pax Asadi to talk freaking dangerous, bro.

And also, by the way, every time I say freaking, I feel like I'm just about to slip into the full nonsense. Freaking's got some real bite to it, doesn't it? The non-Christian safe version of the F word. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It is on TVNZ On Demand now. First thing in the morning now is when they said release it. It's Frickin' Dangerous Bro on the road.

Right now. Right now. Pax Asati is one third of Frickin' Dangerous Bro in Jameson's studio. I love that the other two are not here, by the way. It brings me so much joy. It's the cream of the crop. You're the LeBron James. They're the stink ones.

Yeah, they're the stink ones. And you'll see it in the show. Just watch the show and you'll see it. You'll see it play out. When did this film? It filmed through 2020, the year that was 2020. So this show was meant to come out like five months ago. But because of COVID, we kept pushing things back,

kept waiting for cases to go down and us to go back into level one and so um it took ages to get the show out so it's finally out we're finally excited for people to see it and tell us about what you guys doing it so freaking do just bro that's your comedy group yeah that's me jermaine ross and james roque with three stand-up comedians who joined forces seven years ago joined forces i like that yeah because no one was willing to give one brown guy a tv show so we were like what about three brown guys and they're like all right the pair's the same as one white one yeah and and so we got

we got the show and it's us three traveling small town New Zealand essentially just running amok we're getting to know small town New Zealand we're just running amok. We're getting to know small town New Zealand. We're getting to know the unique people in small town New Zealand. Having a little bit of banter, a little bit of shenanigans. And then we do a live show at the end for the town and you get to see that live show.

Did you have a favorite town? My favorite town was probably any of the South Island towns because... Don't say because it's so beautiful down there. No, no, not at all. I don't care about nature. I'm a big city boy. I like smog.

I like people not talking to each other. That's what I like. I like traffic. It's because we would walk we would move through the town as a trio obviously looking for people to speak to and people were just

so confused as to what three brown men are doing in their town which made it so fun there's just this like middle eastern Filipino Maori dude

just walking together on the street and then three metres behind them there's like two cameras and everyone's like what is going on? That's why I love the South Island towns. We shocked the South Island towns more than any other towns. Did you meet a few classic Kiwi characters down there?

Oh mate, we met a lot of classic Kiwi characters. You'll have to watch the show to see the classic Kiwi characters. I don't want to give away too much. But one, my favourite Kiwi character was... Oh, damn, I've gone blank. Who's the singer? This is a music station.

You're going to have to sort of specify. There's an old school singer. Shit, I've gone blank. Sorry, I shouldn't swear. Frankie Stevens. No, no, it's an American guy. What is happening?

He's old school. He's old school. Burt Beckerack. He's a dude. No. And he lives in the South Island. This guy. No, no, no, no, no.

There's a guy with the same name as this famous singer who lives in the same So now we're trying to guess You know what You know what guys I'm gonna leave it at that You're gonna have to watch the show

And figure out Who I'm talking about This was planned the whole time A tease is okay But you've created a mystery Yeah I've created a murder mystery Yeah and we need to solve it Who did he murder

He murdered someone The guy murdered someone It's not the first episode is it People will just be like Solved No it's not It's definitely not the first episode, is it? People have just been like, solved? No, it's not. It's definitely not the first episode. It's probably the fourth or fifth episode. How many episodes are there? Eight. Eight?

So you, Jermaine, and James are real life friends as well as... Yeah. Okay. That's part of the reason why I love Friggin' Dangerous Bro is because when I'm doing comedy by myself, I'm a comedian performing comedy. Like, I have to deliver comedy. Whereas when I'm with Frig myself, I'm a comedian performing comedy. Like I have to deliver comedy.

Whereas when I'm with frigging Angelus Bro, I get to just be with my friends and we just get to josh around and make fun of each other and just do whatever. And it doesn't feel like I'm working. It just feels like I'm hanging out with my friends and being silly. And we were like,

that's what we pitched to the network when we wanted the show. We were like, just film us being silly. And they were like, okay. And then pitched to the network when we wanted the show. We were like, just film us being silly. And they were like, okay. And then they did it and we have this show. That's what I want people, when they watch it, that's what I want them to get out of it is

feeling like they're part of our friend group. Just hanging out with us, being silly with us. Freaking out old white people in the South Island. Making them feel very insecure. Awesome. Well, it's on TVNZ On Demand right now. They release it at the Crack of Dawn. Making them feel very insecure. Awesome. Well, it's on TVNZ On Demand right now. They released it.

The Crack of Dawn today. Crack of Dawn. Crack of Dawn release. As soon as that ray of sun pops out of the horizon. Pierce is a cloud. They're like, release the cracker. Press the frickin' Dangerous Bro button. Get it done. It's on TVNZ On Demand.

Frickin' Dangerous Bro. Eight episodes. Pax, thanks for coming in. Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. It's on TVNZ Demand. Frickin' Dangerous Bro. Eight episodes packed. Thanks for coming in. I'm just reading an article on food trends for 2021 and what's sticking around, what's coming in. And do you know one of the things we're going to take from 2020 in our lockdown time is baking.

Apparently. You know how everyone went on a baking frenzy? Yeah. Banana breads, beer breads, a lot of breads. Because you went to the supermarket in those early days and there was no yeast,

no flour, baking powder. Yeah. People were improvising. Well, now they've restocked the shelves and we're still emptying them and people's baking,

what do you call it, regularity hasn't decreased at all. Really? Yeah. Could that be because everybody purchased bread makers? And if they're going to take up that much room on the bench. This costs a lot of money.

Even ingredients for like chocolate cakes. Yes, so this is saying a general manager of a supermarket says, our customers are continuing to bake and cook at home. For instance, baking chocolate has seen double digit growth over the last 12 months. Baking chocolate. Wow. Yeah, because that over the last 12 months. Baking chocolate. Wow. Yeah, because that's yuck to eat.

Every kid's made that mistake, eh? Found a bar of baking chocolate, snapped themselves off a rope, filled their gob, and then realised how awfully bitter a baking chocolate is. You're like, ha, mum's left chocolate in the pantry. I'll show her. Alongside baking, the things that we're searching are paleo and keto. Well, you're big on the keto bars at the moment, aren't you? I'm a keto gal.

We were just talking about baking bread. I'm getting weak at the knees. I don't know how much longer I can sustain this. But people are doing keto baking. I did a lot of that over lockdown. So what is keto for those who don't know? Keto is low-carb, high-fat. And when I say low-carb, it's low-carb.

You can basically eat no carbs. What's the difference between Atkins and keto? I think, I really don't know. I think it's the fat content. So keto is about adding healthy fats, avocados, seeds, nuts, and all that kind of deliciousness. Because have you guys had the targeted advertising from Rob Lowe? Rob Lowe is now promoting Atkins.

You know Rob Lowe, actor Rob Lowe? Yeah, yeah. Ageless, gorgeous. Oh, he's not aging. He's not aging at all. He's a man Rob Lowe? Actor Rob Lowe? Yeah. Ageless. Oh, he's not aging. He's not aging at all. Porcelain man Rob Lowe. He's promoting the Atkins. He is.

But didn't Dr. Atkins have a heart attack? Had a heart attack, didn't he? He did. I mean, there's so many articles on things like Atkins or keto saying, like, you either love it or it'll kill you. So we'll just see. We'll see how that trend goes in 2021. We'll see which one's which.

But there you go. We're going paleo, we're going keto, and we're still baking. Speaking of, just quickly, of Rob Lowe aligning himself to Atkins, did you see, and I saw the initial post and I haven't seen a follow-up, James Corden said he's doing Weight Watchers. He is. For 2021. In the very first week of 2021, I saw the James Corden,

like, this is my year and I'm changing and blah blah blah. He hasn't said anything since. Well, it's hard in January. Well, it's still only the 28th. Yeah, but I expected this to be a full-blown campaign. Yeah, also, I just want an update how he's going after his first couple of weeks.

Okay. Guys, I'm feeling a little bit sad this morning because while I'm at work, my partner Aaron is going to be taking our cat to the cattery for a month while we move house. Oh, wow. Okay. And I've got a deep, deep love for my cat, Rolly.

He's just a little, what do you call them? Not a mongrel. A moggy? A mix. Yeah, like a rescue street cat and it's just lovely. Not a mongrel. A moggy? A mix. Is he a mongrel mix? A rescue street cat and it's just lovely. But so he's going to the cattery for a month and he sort of knows. You know how dogs have that thing where like you say walkies and they know that they're going for a walk.

Our cat's quite similar. So he's noticed that the furniture is shifting and he's recognised that that means that he's going to the cattery. And that he's going to be abandoned and his whole life is about to be turned upside down. So his whole attitude changes from just being a very easy go lucky cat into like a hoity teenager. He gets a real attitude. He'll jump on you in the

middle of the night just to wake you up and he does this thing called sausage rolling which is you know when you come into a room, you make your presence known and then he looks at us and he just turns around to his back and he'll ball up like a sausage roll

with his back to us oh wow like a little attitude stuff you he only does this when he knows that when he knows that he's either going to the vet or the cattery

because he doesn't he doesn't like it at all it's not a holiday you know he'd try to spin it like ooh you're going on holiday yeah and when he gets into his cage, he hates the cage. He's got some trauma around a cage.

Don't know where that came from. But you put him in and he does that like brace thing where you kind of bend them in half. And then he does this deep, because usually he's like. Yeah. But then when he gets into the cage, he goes. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's what our cat does when you get in the cage

yeah and my partner my partner aaron is convinced that rolly is going the whole time it's really traumatic so he's really angry at us and when he comes home in a month he's going to be in a different house. And he's going to hate us. A month? Is that how long it's going to take you to move your boxes? Or are you just having a bit of a holiday from the cat at the same time? Oh, God, he's exhausting.

A month at the longest, but we're doing some quick little renos in the new place. Oh, right, right. And it's just too much for him. With a cat, yeah. To move into a new house, you'll get a bit of a panic and you'll start... Since learning that your partner is Greg Grover from Nova, I like to imagine everywhere Aaron goes, when he drops off the cat, he'll be like,

cat to be cat sat? And they'll be like, that cat? Yes, cat in the hat. Cat sat, the cat. Everything just rhymes. Have you hooked up the power at your new place? Oh, we have. Who'd you go with?

Nova. Of course. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the rat-infested ZM think tank, this is the top six. If you Google e-babies, oh, damn it. That's exactly what I wanted to say. I was hoping there would be some, like, wacky e-babies, oh, damn it. That's exactly what I wanted to say. I was hoping there would be some, like, wacky e-babies thing.

But no, e-babies, it seems, is the term for babies of couples who met online. Yeah, so dating apps. Your Bumbles, your Tinder. Yeah. Your Grindr. Oh, hon, hon. You're never going to have babies if you keep putting it in there. Hon.

You bumble, you tinder. I want to say grinding. Grinding? Is scissor still a thing? Because there was scissor, remember? It was like, it did that dating app rule of you've got to drop the final vowel before the R. Scissor, gosh, that's bit bloody up front, isn't it? Again, hon.

You want to know what you're up for? So, children born to parents who met online will be the majority within 18 years. Wow. I would have thought it would have been up there now. I would have thought it would have been sooner. I think about it, my

brother's kids would be e-babies because he met his wife in a WWE wrestling chat room. Oh my, seriously? And she's actually like not. Oh, she's, yeah. Very attractive. Would you say he's batting?

He's batting. He's batting. Now, Smith lads, I don't know how we do it, but we're batting. She does say, like, she's Australian, so she ends sentences with but. Oh, but they all do. Yeah does say, like, she's Australian, so she ends sentences

with but. Oh, but they all do. Yeah, but. Yeah, but. Oh.

And you go, oh, that was it. That was it. That was it. That was it. Generally, the but is sort of

a pivotal point of the, no, you use it at the end. Okay. Yeah. So this is, so it's meeting online instead of meeting,

like, at work. In traditional ways, yes. Being introduced by friends. Yes. My parents met at work. In traditional ways, yes. Being introduced by friends. My parents met at work. Did they? Yeah, they both worked in the Whangarei courthouse as, what are those people, bailiffs? Are they the ones that wear the wigs?

Like bounty hunters? No. Are your parents bounty hunters? Who's the one that says... Is your dad dog the bounty hunter? Yes. Are they the ones that say, all rise for the honourable dude declared as Solomon. Oh, okay.

What qualifications are required to be a bailiff? Or they were just doing it? They both dropped out of seventh form. I don't know. That was it. My mum worked in a milk shop. You know, a milk bar. Just did milk.

Yeah. Part-time bailiff. Milk bar. God, it was the 70s. Okay. But, you know, they met at work and my mum was still married to another man. I know. And then they gutted on at me.

How much longer did you and your brother come onto the scene? Oh, a few years. Yeah, it was a few years. Once they got together, though, wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. Really? My brother came along about nine months later. Wow. Yeah, I know.

True love. Wow. Been together for 31 years. What happened to the first guy? Do you ever hear about him anymore? We don't speak of him. Oh, we don't speak of him. He's gone.

Oh, my God. Okay. Moving right along from the time that Hayley's mum killed her ex-partner. Oh, he's gone. I've got the top six other places your parents might have met if you're not an e-baby. Number six on the list of the top six other places your parents might have met within, you know, if you're a baby born within the next 18 years,

smashed off their tittays at Rhythm and Vines. Like really chewing them, chewing it out. Like they might not have much tongue left, dilated pupils, sweaty. I would love for Tinder or Bumble to release the Just Gisborne Festival area stats for those apps because I reckon there'd still be a bit of, there would have been a lot of hookups.

I'd love to know your summer hotspots for online app dating for matches made. That'd be fascinating statistics. And they always rip out a good stat, so I reckon they could have those in the barrel. Big fan of stats on the show. Huge stats fan. Passionate.

Number five on the list of the top six other places your parents might have met if it wasn't online. At the gym, where your mum rated herself and assumed your dad was perving at her, but your dad was actually just worried she'd hurt herself with some incorrect gym technique. But here's the twist. He was perving.

He was just trying to cover it up last minute with some gym mansplaining. You go to the women's only section, don't you? We talked about this yesterday. Yeah, I do. It's a smaller gym, women's only, and you do it I guess so you can get some of those leery eyes off you, but if

I'm going to be a husband there, maybe I'll switch. You have a partner. I am engaged. But, you know. Always like you inherited it from your mum. You're always looking for the next best option, eh? Exactly. I'm always looking for an upgrade.

Trade up. Yeah. Shit, yeah. You'd be foolish not to. Yeah. Except for my wife. You stay where you are. Number four on the top six places of other places your parents might have met if it wasn't online.

At a parent-teacher interview for your half-brothers and sisters. Where dad was still dad, but your mum was the teacher. That's kind of hot. Yeah. Except for the woman who just got left behind because her husband was flirting with the teacher. That'll happen. Nothing lasts forever. Yeah, a bit of a romp in the art supplies.

Number three on the list of the top six other places your parents might have met if it wasn't a line at a house fire. Your mum had a slight penchant for falling asleep with scented candles burning. And one of them got onto a curtain and dad was a volunteer firefighter. Oh, lovely. That's also hot. Hot. Yeah.

That's literally hot. Sexually hot and fire is remarkably hot. Number two on the list of the top six other places your parents might have met if it wasn't online are at work. Your mum took advantage of a wild misbalance in a power dynamic, and she was management, and plucked your dad from the working class. Oh, God. And made him fill all of her needs there at work.

Good Lord, Mum. Yeah. Mum got it. Okay, well, yeah. And number one on the list of the top six other places your parents might have met if it wasn't online, prison, which is interesting given that at the moment prison's a single gender. But who are we to judge how dad and dad made that happen? Exactly.

Mum and mum could have met there. Yeah. In the women's showers. I mean, my future wife in the women's gym of Les Mills. Yes. I do have a good look at a lot of women's shoulders. What? That's creepy. I also liked when we were walking and talking about going to the women's shoulders. What? That's creepy.

When we were walking and talking about going to the women's only section of the gym, you're like, oh yeah, it's good because you don't feel like you're being laid at and perved at. But on the way up, oh my God, yeah, you get a good look at those guys. So if anything, it's probably good that the guys have been separated from you. Yeah, you're the predator in this situation.

That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Refund your date. I depend on you. I depend on you. We're refunding bad dates, how much they cost you. You let us know.

We could refund it, but the trade-off is we need to know what went wrong. Oh, we want to hear all the details. The gritty, nitty gritties of it. I want to hear the entrees. Yeah. If it was a meal. Yeah. I want to hear the cocktails you had.

Sure. I want to hear the... Whoa, everybody, this is adding up. It's starting to add up. I want to hear what movie you watched. Whoa, movies as well? There'll be no snacks in the movies. I want to hear if you kissed.

Oh, yeah. And what it was like. Those are free. Ollie joins us. Good morning, Ollie. Good morning. Now, you would like no snacks at the movies. I want to hear if you kissed. Oh, yeah. Those are free. Those are free. Ollie joins us. Good morning, Ollie. Good morning. Now, you would like a refund on a date. Let's start from the start.

What happened? Okay, so it was a first date with a guy. We went out to quite a fancy restaurant. This was in, I was doing an OEM, by the way, so it was like snow and ice. Oh, wow. Yeah, that was the weather. And being a first date, I wore like a mini dress and heel.

Yeah. Shake what your mama gave you. Yeah. But that's what you do overseas in the winter. You wear nice clothes, but then you wear a big jacket over the top. Oh, of course. So when you get to the restaurant, you just take it off. Reveal.

Yeah. So anyway, we got to this place. It was like quite fancy. We started walking down the steps and I literally slipped. I'm not very good at walking in heels in New Zealand. I slipped down the steps so badly. I landed like flat

on my back with my dress completely up by my head. This was in the first five minutes. Yeah. It was really bad. And we were both too embarrassed to go into the restaurant after that because it was right in front of the windows where everyone was sitting having their dinner. So we literally just turned around and walked away.

Did you have your good knickers on, Ollie? I don't want to overstep the mark. I don't remember. She was on her first date. You're not wearing your gruts. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, that was embarrassing.

So we literally just turned around and left and we just found another place. We just didn't want to go into that place after that. Fair enough. So anyway, we sat down in this other restaurant, which was, it was nice. It was quite like romantic, a little less fancy, but it had like candles on the table. Stunning. That's when you know it's romantic. Yeah. Yeah. So that was nice. It was quite like romantic, a little less fancy, but it had like candles on the table. Stunning. That's when you know it's romantic. Yeah.

Yeah. So that was nice. And we sort of sat down like laughing about what had just happened, ordered a drink, and then the guy leaned over to cheers me and he knocked over the napkin dispenser and paper lights fire very quickly and lit through the whole table was just alight. Like the table caught fire as well.

You two are not meant to be together. This is the song of fire and ice. Yeah, we're not together. So yeah, so the whole table caught fire. Eventually a couple of people from other tables like threw a lot of drugs on it and it went out. But again, so we were asked to pay for that. And then we left.

We hadn't had anything. How much did that cost? So this was, it was quite a while ago. I can't remember exactly, but it was like 100 bucks or something. Like it was like kind of strange to be asked to pay for, you know. Yeah, a mistake. They had a tablecloth out the back. Yeah, their candle, their tablecloth out the back Yeah Their candle

their tablecloth Yeah So anyway after that Oh god it continues Yeah we decided to just skip dinner

and we went to a bar so we just went across the bar and I was so embarrassed at this point I just wanted to like you know

so I ordered this random cocktail that I'd never had the liqueur in it before. It was blue. I don't know what it was. But anyway, after about five minutes, people started asking me if I was okay. And I looked in the mirror and my whole face and my body had just come out in these massive highs.

And I started swelling up. And this dude's just like, this is the third science. We've got to take this. The universe didn't want you two together. No. Yeah, no, no. And so then, yeah, then I had to, because this was like, I don't know, it was probably like 9pm or something at this point.

So I just go and find like an after hours pharmacy and buy antihistamines. Because I've never had a reaction like that before. And then, yeah, I didn't, it didn't swell up and die or anything, but we left it at that. And that was it. Okay, so we will be refunding you some drinks and a burnt table. Yes.

And antihistamines. Antihistamines. We've got a total here of $140, Ollie. Yeah. $140! We're refunding that terrible date. Wow. Yeah.

Oh, thank you. It just wasn't meant to be, Ollie. It wasn't. Have you been on more successful dates since? Not with him, but with other people. Oh, good, good. Okay, great. So it probably wasn't you the universe didn't want to date.

No. It was the other guy. It was him. It was him specifically. Yep. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Now, if you wanted to name your child Toyota or Yaris, you would be 100% within your rights to do so.

Really? Yep. Yep. Yaris, no problem. So you've got a list of the band. I've got a list of these names that were declined by the Department of Internal Affairs last year. So these are just from 2020. So I know you're not allowed to call, you're not allowed to say like Sir or Dame or...

Yeah, it can't be a title. Can't be any form of royal title or a military rank, an official title. It can't use numbers or unpronounceable symbols. Well, like my cat is Major Murray Fluffington that's technically not allowed no but yeah

it's also not a human it's a cat you can call cats whatever you want because it's obvious that that cat I don't wish to bring your cat down

your cat could not be a military leader as it's a cat wow wait how dare you how dare you belittle this cat before it even knows what it's a cat. Wow, wait a... How dare you? How dare you belittle this cat before it even knows what its own dreams are? You know I'm treading on the fine line of being cancelled by saying this, but cats can't

be military leaders. Oh, wow. You're going to get eaten alive. Me and John Banks just really telling it how it is, you know? Yeah, yeah, right. I love that you're so quick to align with him. Very brave. It's a bold and brave move

for a broadcaster in 2021 to be like, you know, he's got a point. No, of course I'm being wildly sarcastic. John Banks is a piece of shit. So these other names... Remember when he nearly ran me over that day? Yeah. At the pedestrian crossing in some flash car. Ooh, really?

Because he thought you were another one of his illicit love child. He was like, no, I can't have another one trying to get into the old Banks fortune. I'll run this bastard down. Oh, Lordy.

You do look a lot like John Banks. Piss off. Okay, this is a full list of declined baby names in 2020 in New Zealand in alphabetical order. Number one, Bishop. You can't have that because of the religious title.

Caius Major. Caius. Caius Major. Now, it's the major that's the proud part of this because it was Caius hyphen Major. Right. I've got a nephew called Caius. Oh, well, he's cancelled. Yeah, he's out.

Caius. What is it? It does sound like a car, doesn't it? A Kia. Oh, yeah. A Caius. A Subaru Cai like a car, doesn't it? A Kia. Oh, yeah. A Kias. A Subaru Kias. Yes, it does.

Do you say Subaru or Subaru? Subaru. No, Subaru. I say Mazda. You say Mazda. Do you? I say Nissan. Yes.

Bloody Americans. Why are they taking good Japanese car names and saying them wrong? Do you know what I say? Toyota Yaris. Hatch. You can win a next gen. You can win. You can win it.

Oh, yeah. I know. Do you see how they suddenly put that? The way you did that. Americans can't say that wrong, can they? No, they can't. Toyota, there's only one way to say that. Commodore is another name that someone tried to give their child.

Not a car name. Also a car. Maybe, yeah, that's a car, but also a 1980s computer. Constable. What? Someone tried 1980s computer. Constable. What? Someone's trying to call their kid Constable. What do you call him for short? Dukes.

Do you want to keep working here? She's trying to get out of the floor and go, wake up. I can't play it. Dukes. So not juke, which I know you can't call you a juke. Jukes. You can't call you a juke. D-U-K-E-S.

Like Dukes of Hazzard. Yeah. Justice. Spout the traditional way of justice. Just us, which is said justice, but just us. You're kidding me. Just us. Some people should go to prison for these names.

What if you clarify that it's pronounced just us? Just us. Just us, Jane Sproul. King with two I's. Kitting. Kitting. And king with one I. Crown Hale-ya.

Crown Hale-ya with a K. Crown hyphen Hale-ya. Hale-er. Hale-er. Hale-er. Crown-halia. Halar. Halar. Halar. Crownhala. Majesty Faith. That's one word.

That's one name. Majesty-faith. Major Marley King. Master Messiah. Mr. My Honor is one word. Nikita Majesty. Padre. Prince.

Princess. Prince. Queen. Loyalty. But. No. Royalty, but spout R-O-Y-A space L-T-E-E. That is not on.

Royalty. Royal. Royalty. Royalty. Royal, Royal Blue, Royal Rain, Royalty, Royalty Rain, Royal Blue, Royal, spout wildly incorrectly, Saint, Saint Kelly and Sovereign. Wow. Amazing.

And all of those declined. I mean, you can decline all those names, but you can still call a kid Carl. Yeah. That's rude. I'm right here. Very rude. Nothing beats Benson and Hedges Those twins Black and Decker

Back in the day I don't mind the names Benson and Hedges Apart But when you're twins Benson and Hedges sprout It's a classy situation ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast I love it when it's not me

Honestly It's so enjoyable When it's not me Do you feel like Last week it came in so hot Being like I feel fine These early mornings are so great

Yeah And I was like Oh yeah And I feel like Yesterday and today I am just Yeah I'm a struggle

Brain fog Do you know what Is because when I go home It's not peaceful Alright And I feel like yesterday and today, I am just on the struggle. Brain fog? Do you know what? It's because when I go home, it's not peaceful. All right? I live in a quiet cul-de-sac in Mount Elbeer. And two big old houses have been removed to make way for apartments. Are they doing the block?

I don't know. They could be doing the block. Okay. Is there a leathery old man walking around next door yelling a lot? Oh, God. There's a lot of them, actually. They yell a lot. But anyway, it's obviously caused a lot of noise. This is a really short little street

and there are trucks and there's just noise and construction and metal drilling and all this stuff all the time. And what they've started to do is, so there's eight car parks for the residents in this cul-de-sac. And then there are, you know,

there's like 30 minute car parks. And I've had many a ticket when I've had to park in the 30 minute. Okay. And what these construction people have started to do is just put up cones to reserve the car parks for their tradies and their trucks. The free car parks?

Yeah, the ones that are non-charge, you can park there all you like. They're clearly for the residents. The roadside residential parking. And so they've started putting their cones there to just sort of reserve them. So what, they'd leave for the day and then be like, let's cone off the car parks. Yeah. Or

if they were there in the morning and say I went and I left and then I'd come back and they would have reserved it. By putting cones there. By putting cones there. Right. So I don't want to say that I'm sort of the leader of this revolution, but what I've done is ignored the cone and I just paralleled into it

and I knocked it over and I just put my car there and they all watched me do it. I gave them the stare of death when I walked inside my house, instantly recognising that they now know exactly where I live. But I was feeling strong. Anyway, I came back out and a few more cars had sort of done the same thing. A few more residents' cars. Oh, vive la revolution.

Oui, oui. Yeah. And so people have now started to just ignore the cones. Then we took it a step further. So my partner Aaron, he did the same thing. He came back. There was the car park that he wanted. There was a cone in it.

He picked it up. Then he backed his truck in. And then he hauled the cone over the construction fence back onto their side. Wow. And now all the residents are doing the same. So every night we all get home. We don't talk to each other about it.

It's a silent revolution. We all get home. We back into talk to each other about it. It's a silent revolution. We all get home. We back into our car parks. We take them. We take the cones and we chuck them into the construction site. It's a statement. It's a political statement. And you're safe and happy to talk about this because you're moving out today.

I am moving out. You won't face any backlash from any possible tradesman that hears about this. I've had enough of these Renaults. Good luck to my friends who are taking over our flat. Oh, no. Have you done that? You've passed the flat on. Yeah, we always do that.

It's a good house, but it's just, honestly. Yeah. The street. Right. The street, the street, the noise. But I'm looking forward to some retaliation. I'm hoping it'll happen. Right, they're going to park the diggers out there,

the stuff that can't be moved. They're going to park a steamroller, some heavy equipment out there. I mean, worst comes to worst, they could say that they were coning them off for safety reasons back into my car and then I've learnt my lesson, haven't I? Well, except the lesson will be your friends to learn because you've passed off your noisy flat to them and you've moved. Bye, Mount Albert. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. I saw this episode,

you know the show First Dates, which is such, such a good watch. We did a New Zealand version, right? Yeah,

we did. Yeah. I mean, we didn't, personally. We did a New Zealand version, it was full of actors.

Yeah. But the UK version is so good. But there was a bit of an awkward moment in an episode recently. Have a listen to this. That's so awful.

I'm literally like sitting there with him, having a date with him and then going, oh, I fancy the guy behind you. So she, yeah, she was having a perv at this guy behind him and then the guy that she was actually on this first date with went to the loo. She connected eyes with the other guy across the room, did a bit of flirty eyes, you know? Yeah.

And then he popped over and had a quick conversation with her. So was that guy also on the show? Yeah, I think he was on another first date. I'm looking at a photo of them now. Are you allowed to say, is it Chav or Shav? Oh, Chavvy. Chavvy. He's a bit, yeah.

She's that. You're allowed to say that, eh? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, you could be cancelled. Do you want me to say it? By Middle England. Because you're expendable.

Yeah. Yeah. She's a bit chavvy. Oh. Oh. Oh, she is. You know, she's got that. And he's got a neck tattoo.

So they should have been matched up in the first place. Why do you, you've got a real thing against neck tattoos. No, no. I'm just saying she looks like the sort that would like a bad boy and he's got a tattoo up the back of his neck. Right.

Well, both their dates obviously didn't go very well and then they made a little tease for the next episode which is potentially them having their own date. Wow.

So there you go. You never know when you're going to find the love of your life. Could be on a date but not with that person. And that's what we want to ask now. Yeah, because I've kind of done this before.

Many, many moons ago when I was a free agent, I was dating this guy. It was quite fresh. And we went out. He was like, let's meet at this event. I'm going to this music thing. And I thought, great. How fun.

And then I went down there and I saw an old friend that I suddenly realised was very attractive and I ended up kissing him. So you went on a, you were this guy's plus one and you ended up kissing someone else. I did.

What did the initial guy think of that? Did he find out? He was so mad. Well, you were his plus one to this date. He was so mad. And actually, we ended up going on another couple of dates But it was never the same After I kissed another boy in front of him

Yeah So the boy that you kissed You didn't go on another date with him? No he didn't live in Wellington where I was I thought you were about to say he didn't live much longer No he didn't live much longer after that No yeah right So that's what we want to ask this morning Have you ever been on a date No, we didn't live much longer after that. No, yeah, right. Yeah.

So that's what we want to ask this morning. Have you ever been on a date but met somebody else at that date? Maybe it was the waiter. You know, he keeps coming over and, yeah, I'll do a bit of that instead. See you later. Yeah, or you go, I don't know, to a party with a date. Or maybe you go to meet the parents and you're like, hello, daddy. Oh. Good God. Or hot you go to meet the parents and you're like, hello, daddy. Oh. Good God.

Or hotter brother or something. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this happened on an episode of First Dates. Yeah, the girl was on a date and she was looking over the shoulder of the guy she was on a date with and spotted a guy she wanted to date even more so. And so that's happening on the show. That's the next episode.

Yeah, she's found somebody else. So we want to know if this has ever happened in real life, outside of the reality TV dating world. Have you gone on a date but met somebody else? And it turns out, yes. Nicola, who did this happen to? So this is my mum and actually my adopted dad. Yeah.

Yeah, so mum went along sort of as a tag along with a friend of hers to a party. And dad had been invited as a set up for her friend. Right. Because he's like six foot four and she's six foot. And they were like, oh, it's going to be great. This is a nice tall guy for you. Tall people have to be together. We do do that.

Tall people love each other. That's why. The taller getting taller and the shorter getting why. Yeah, that's why. The taller getting taller and the shorter getting shorter. Yeah, this is it. And yeah, anyway, so mum turned up with me in tow as well. And yeah, that was that. Wow.

I've just been together ever since. Wow. And he was meant for somebody else. Apparently so. So yeah. Wow. All right. Nicola, thanks. You called some text messages. I set up my now husband the first time we were to meet.

I was waiting for him in Wellington, and while waiting, I bumped into somebody I knew from a previous night out, and we left before my husband got there. Oh! My husband now wasn't a husband at the time. Yeah, right. Just to set up, like, first date.

Okay. How did they find their way back to each other? Well, I guess yeah like homing pigeons yeah yeah but then this dude's like

oh where are you and she's like oh I've nipped off sorry I'll catch up again tomorrow night oh where have you gone nowhere don't worry about it

off for another date yeah and then that date didn't go well and she went back went back to the other date this happened on a British reality TV show

and it turns out it's happened many times here as well. Some text messages. I went to meet a guy from a dating site at his house. Long story short, I've married his flatmate. Wow. So there you go. You went to his house. You get there and you're like, oh my God, the flatmate's hotter.

Yes. Upgrade. And then he keeps going, oh, should we go to the bedroom and watch a movie? Or why don't we just watch it in the lounge? Why don't we just watch it in the lounge? Should we just go watch it in your flatmate's bedroom? Oh, you wait here. I'll just go with him.

Yeah. Done. Easy. My mum and dad met at a party. My dad was there. He was supposed to be a set-up for my mum's friend. But he liked my mum and my mum liked him. And the rest is history.

That's really sweet. Anonymous, so what happened with you? You were on a date? Well, it wasn't a date as such. Okay. We went to a music event together. Okay. It sounds like a date.

I guess. Yeah. And then he started playing hard to get, and I'm just not into games like that. Right. So I went and started hitting on somebody else. Yeah. And it turned out they had a partner so they introduced me to their single friend um and we hit it off and we've been dating

since wow you really sort of hopped around there and then landed on the right one well it worked out for the best i guess how long have long have you been dating the final one? Just over a year and a half. Wow. And did the other guy try it on again with his games? No, we haven't talked since. Oh, wow. Oh, really?

Okay. He's playing really hard today. He's like, no, I'm going to silence her. I'll hear from her in the next couple of years. Another anonymous caller. You were on a date with somebody but found somebody else? Yeah. Hi.

So after sort of months of this guy asking me out, who was a friend of a friend and wasn't really that interested to start with, but after a little bit of time, I finally agreed to go out with him because he invited me to a birthday dinner. So I thought, that's fine. There's going to be other people there. That'll be all right. And I sat down next to this guy and sort of sparks flew immediately.

And I ended up going home with him instead, which was great, except for the fact that they were roommates. So it was pretty awkward. Twist. Wow. Were you sneaking around? No, we were just pretty open about it, to be honest. No shame.

Yeah, well, it's early on. You know, it was your first date with the guy. Unless if you left the car at the first guy's house, it's also at the second guy's. That's true. Just thinking about getting home in the morning, you know. Brilliant. Anonymous six-year-old call. Some other text messages in.

I met my partner at a birthday party of a fellow my best friend was trying to set me up with. Okay. So that was, you went there for one thing and you came home with another. Yeah, right. Nikki, you went out on a date with somebody but found somebody else? Well, I went to my best mate's wedding with his wife

over in Bali with his best mate who I was going out with at the time. And then, well, here we are, what, 15 years later, and we are married with three children together. Oh, that's beautiful. We've been best friends for, like, 20 years now, but we've only been together about 10. Oh, wow.

Yeah, same birth, has the same birthday, born 18 years apart, and we got married on the same day. Wow. He's not the younger one I am. He's just real younger because I'm what 36 and he's going on 40 shall we say. He doesn't want that number.

I mean you said 18 and then gave us your age. We can work out the rest. I'm just going to unlock my phone and use the calculator. Nikki thanks for your call. Yeah lots of people do that. It certainly wasn't only on a British reality show. I went away over New Year to stay with a guy I'd met for about a week on the last night of my seven-night trip.

I went home with his flatmate instead. And someone said, are you going to have any male callers who have done this? No, males are far too scared to admit this sort of thing. Because if their current partner hears about it, they'll get an absolute bullet. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Now, if you are over the age of 25, this could be confronting. We go now to the... Second puberty, guys. It's going to blow your mind. We go now to the social media desk where Mountie, who's in charge of all the social media

and all the videos of the show, has some possibly disturbing news confronting for over 25s. Mountie. I think it's disturbing. So I've been seeing

a lot of TikToks lately referencing the fact that 25 is now ancient. What? Yeah. I'm 31 and I still feel young. Am I not young? Nah, yeah. What? Yeah. I'm 31 and I still feel young.

Am I not young? No, you're misguided. But it's not just that. Yeah, there are a couple of telltale signs of someone who's older, or 25 apparently. Right. And one of them is using the laugh cry emoji. What?

So apparently you've seen this a bit, that people are saying that using the laugh cry emoji. What? Wow. So apparently you've seen this a bit, that people are saying that using the laugh cry emoji is now cringe. Yeah, so I'd say it's kind of equivalent to using text language back in the day. You know how now boomers use kind of like abbreviated text language, I suppose. Right. It's the equivalent of that. Goodness me. So boomers are all texting each other now being like, up to. Yeah.

Sup. Yeah, sup, up to. You know when you get a text from your mum and it's unintelligible. You can't read it. So, because I remember when my mum started using lol and I thought, oh God, here we go, how embarrassing. Yeah.

Is this what people are thinking every time I send a cry emoji to them? A laugh cry. A laugh cry. A laugh cry. Yeah. Well, that's the thing is because I was reading an article about boomers or I'm not categorising myself in there,

but older people mistaking the laugh cry emoji for the cry emoji. Oh no, because there's a couple of cry emojis on them. I know, but so older people, there was a text from a mum saying, oh, my dog just died. Ha, ha, ha, laugh face emoji with crying. His crying's coming out.

Oh, bless. And then here's one with the laugh cry emoji, pray for all victims of violence. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, yeah, wrong, wrong. Nana sent a text, heard you broke your foot, laugh cry emoji. So I understand now how it's sort of seeming like it's an elderly thing to use. Yeah.

So I'm just going into my recently used emojis and my most used. Left to right down the column. It's my number one. It's my go-to. It's the most used emoji. Last World Emoji Day, they investigated the use of emojis and Face with Tears of Joy was the most used emoji. It's not even on my top 20.

Yeah. Isn't it? Do you guys agree with these findings, producers? How do we feel about this? I feel like the sideways, laughy face, you know, the slightly angular one, I feel like that's more cringe. When people do that, I'm like, stop trying to be different. Oh, my God.

I do that sometimes. It's not on my top, though. My top one is just the simple love heart. And then the next one is a clinking glass of champagne. That feels quite on brand for me. We have run a poll on our Instagram, thousands of votes in, and the nation,

I don't think the nation agrees. We said, do you think the laugh cry emoji is cringe? 94% of people saying nope. Oh, thank God. But that is still 6% of the nation that are saying yes, it is. So is it on the way out? Is this the early?

No, you're always going to get that. You're always going to get the 6%, I reckon. Right. Of all the polls we've run, that would be one of the most in favour of one. It's usually far closer than that. Do you feel like now that we've talked about it, you'll be more cautious when using it? You're not going to toss

it around so much? How else am I going to end sentences? Yeah, because if I'm typing a text, I always go, ha ha, that's like my full stop. Same, same. Same. It was nice to see you yesterday, ha ha. Yeah, and they're like, what's funny? I don't know, it's just my full stop. I felt nervous about just leaving it at the end of that sentence, ha ha.

Also, who's saying people are over... Everybody, when they're a teenager, you think, oh, I'm going to be old when I'm 25, I'm going to have it all sorted. Well, joke's on you. You're not going to have it all sorted. Nothing's going to be sorted at 25. Or ever. Nothing ever gets sorted.

And aren't they saying like 35 is the new 25, 45 is the new 35? So it's all delayed. Yeah. So I don't feel too bad about being 31 and not having it all together. Yeah. And if you think 25's old and you have it all sorted by then, have a look at house prices. Yeah, good luck.

That'll bring you back crashing back down to earth. Miss 17-year-old, world-sorted, bright, beautiful horizon. You'll never own a home. Pull your head in. That's it. I just felt like I needed to be dragged back down. I think it's a lovely message to part to people to start their day. Yeah.

What's it all for? Yeah. It's rubbish from here. Don't bother. Doesn't get better. Don't bother. School? Don't bother.

You thought that was hard, did you? Money. What can you spend What can you buy with it You can't take it with you Nothing Flesh for an Amegan The podcast ZM

Hot yesterday afternoon wasn't it It was blimmin hot It was blistering heat Well the country's been bathed in sunshine Yeah And high temperatures Really high temperatures It was so hot

Hayley sent a photo to the group chat, drinking gin, wearing sunglasses in her bra and on her bed. I did send that photo. I didn't put the whole bra. I kept it modest. I think you said, I'm wearing a bra because otherwise it would have looked like

you didn't have a top on, full stop. It wasn't nude bra, yeah. Yeah. Was it inappropriate? No. Week two and I'm sending topless photos to the group chat. My God. And then I was like, well, I'm gardening.

I'm out here gardening. Fletch, you didn't send any photos of what you were up to? I'm guessing it was wildly inappropriate. I was actually at the pool and I was ignoring my phone. Oh, yeah. Because I was sunbathing. Bit of me time. Yeah, I was thinking it was a me time.

You don't know Fletch very well. That's absolutely a lie and not at all believable. I'll show you my COVID tracer app where I scanned into the pool yesterday. He was working his sweat up in my diary. And then Executive Internania sends through a photo and you looked fed up. Miffed. You looked hot.

Hang on, I'm just checking Fletch's scan history. Should I read it all out? Parnell Baths. Thank you. At 3.30. That's a long time after we finished work. Yeah, there's a big window there. Oh, good on you, Les Mills.

No, I went to the gym. Went to the gym? It literally will be supermarket Les Mills poll. That's it. Well, you go to the supermarket quite a lot. Yeah, he goes most days because he's by himself. Yeah, I don't like buying. But you also do go to the gym

a lot. I'm really proud of you. Thank you. Can you pass my diary back? What did you get from Noel Eamon? Oh yeah, what? What's got to do with Noel Eamon? He's giving you access. He won't turn on Find Friends so I know where he is when he goes on one of his joints. I don't like friends knowing where I am.

I'm deep. I'm not the safety string. I'm deep. I'm in December. Can you please bring that? I'm your safety string. That for a moment felt what it's like. I know. You really didn't like it. That was anxious. You really didn't like it to the nation about your every movement,

like that woman that has been to Barbecue King four times in two days. We don't know if that's a woman. The gender of that person is yet unnamed. But executive in Tainoia, you were hot, you were sweaty, and you looked a little bit bothered because yesterday, what happened? I got my very first ever flat tyre. Yay! It was so exciting.

Phenomenal that you've been driving for what, since you were 16? Yeah, and it's weird because the other day I was literally like, I wonder what would happen if I got a flat tyre. Oh, well, come thus far. You jinxed yourself. And when you learned to drive and all that, did you not get taught how to change a tyre? No.

Look, it was probably one of those things that was raised, and I was like, yeah, cool, we'll get to that. It is 100% that should be part of the driver's licence test. Yeah, my dad taught me. Oh, he's a good man. He is a good man. I just got that AA insurance, the auto. Roadside rescue.

Yeah, that's so good. Yeah, I had that. And then the man turns up and does it. Yeah, but I didn't want to bother them. You didn't want to bother them? No, but you've got it. You've got a free call out. You pay for it.

But I figured they probably have more important car-related issues. That is the most ridiculous thing. You pay for a service and you didn't want to use it because you didn't want to bother them. It's like crashing a car and you're like, oh, I better not bother the insurance people. Yeah, I'll just pay for that. House fires. I'll cover this. I'll cover the person I've crashed into too.

I'll write you a check. I'm a strong, independent young woman. I wanted to make myself do it. But did you do it? Did you give it a go? No. Do you know what a car jack looks like and all that? No, and I knew there was a wheel somewhere tucked away in the car.

I had a vague hunch it would be in the boot, but I didn't know how to access it. Was it under the boot or was it under the car? Was it under the floor of the boot? It was under several layers of the boot. It was like a secret hiding spot. Yeah, because I love that it's in a secret hiding spot. Yeah, same.

What else could you keep in there? Yeah, it was unusual because I went to the gym and I was like, oh, you look a little saggy. And then I decided to go in. Oh, God, I thought you were talking about yourself at the gym. I'm like, don't you dare speak about yourself like that. Oh, my God, I thought the same thing. I was like, love thyself.

It applied to all aspects. And then I came out of the gym and I was like, love thyself. It applied to all aspects. And then I came out of the gym and I was like, oh, you is flat as hell. But still had like a little bit of, you know, juice in it. So I was like, I'll give it a bash up the road. Which is exactly what you should do. Your tyre looks flat, just give it a blast up the road.

It might re-inflate itself. You failed at the first test there. Yeah, and then I pulled over and I thought, I'll give it a check halfway on my journey home. And then it was even flatter. And then I Googled what you should do if you're flat-time. And the first thing is like, do not drive fire hazard. It makes that horrible noise. So, oopsie daisies.

And then when I got out at that point, I realised there's a giant nail sticking out of it, which was a good telltale sign. And this is where you're going to pile on tradies, isn't it? Well, you know, guys, fellas, a bit of a PSA today. Fellas, fellesses, pick up your nails, because firstly, they'll probably cost you. And also, my tyre is now, needs repair.

Anya did say to us this morning that all tradies should have to register their nails or the code so that she knows who this nail belongs to. They all need a QR code. So that she can invoice them for the new tyre. So you take it out of your tyre, you scan it, and it gives you the name and address of the tradie. Yeah.

Who dropped it. But there were like four old mates walking around. There was one guy across the road just sitting on his deck looking and laughing at me as I tried to work out how to do it. That would have been great live entertainment. Yeah, but he didn't offer to help. But did you do it all by yourself? Oh, heck no.

I had my boyfriend on speakerphone trying to give me instructions. That didn't go well. So we ended up getting a lift home. And then when he'd finished work, we went back. And he was like, like right we're taking down the patriarchy you need to be able to change this tyre

yes good man which was great but then also him telling me to do that I feel is slightly ironic promising mansplaining but then is it mansplaining

if you actually don't know what to do nah it's probably just explaining it's just splatting yeah but um you know we got there

in the end I jacked the thing I was really good with the nuts. If you've just joined the show. If you've just joined the show. You jacked the thing and you're really good with the nuts. Good, Jack.

It's all about, now it's about a stiff wrist when you're jacking it. Because you don't want to, you've got to really get it going. And if you get it going and your wrist isn't stiff, you could meet some resistance and it could just blow out and then you wouldn't even. Did you loosen the nuts before you jacked it? Yeah. Yeah, that's good.

You always loosen the nuts before you jack it. And then you go top, nut, and then the opposite one, eh? And then the top and then the opposite. How many nuts are you working with? Oh, a few. Really? Multiple nuts on the go. Oh, a few. Really? Yeah. Multiple nuts on the go.

Oh, my Lord. Then you jack it. My dad taught me how to jack a nut. Your dad said, how many days are there, Hayley? It's time to learn how to jack it. There's only one way to do it right, and I'm going to teach you. Jack it and be good with the nuts.

But you did it all, and you drove to work this morning on a space saver. Yeah. I knew that wasn't a permanent solution, but I thought for a few days and until payday it would tie me over. Mum was horrified when she found out that I was going to be driving to work on a space saver. So look, but we're here in one piece. You are. Henny the mechanic.

Yes. Let me know if you need some tyres changed. I got you, baby. Henny's Tyre Service. Oh, that works well. That's a hot jingle. That's a good jingle. Zanny's Tyre Service. Oh, that works well. That's a hot jingle. That's a good jingle. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I nearly had it. I nearly had it. I nearly had it. I chickened out. Do you think you can join in tomorrow? Yeah, I think tomorrow's the day. There's just that little bit after. Well, we do it at the end of the Fact of the Day. Oh, yeah.

Do you want to join in there? I'll give it a go and see where I trip. Give it a Fact of the Day light. Where you just kind of come in and out as you're happy to. Yeah, Fact of the Day diet. Today's Fact of the Day is, I was reading a story by a journalist called Jessica Scott And it was a story, an investigation into something she had found

She found in an antique store She found a couple of boxes of Oh, she thought it was an old box of matches But she popped them open and saw inside And there was a couple left in there of little candles Like little birthday party sized candles Oh, okay And she thought thought, they're in a box. This is very peculiar.

And on the front of said candle box, it wasn't like box of birthday candles. There was sort of dare I say it, scantily clad Victorian era era ladies. You know, like, there's a photo of them here. I'll show you.

I'll show you. Not'll show you not quite oh you what's that show you guys watched with the um bridgeton bridgeton but like probably what they actually looked like because you know like you watch it now and you're like damn damn they were yeah but there was so much inbreeding involved in victorian england for the wealthy they kind of only even married their cousins everyone would have stunk yes and just like the women would have been covered in hair. Like, the Bridgerton people all had the beautiful brows. Yeah.

That's not happening. Yeah, because you see the photos, the portraits that they did in, like, the 1700s, 1600s. And you're just like, oh, goodness. No thanks. We're very worried about the land. Nothing out of the family. So you're going to need to marry and have children with your cousin. That also did happen in Bridgerton

though, didn't it? Did it? Because remember there was that guy they were trying to set her up with. Oh yes. He was bung teeth and eyes and every year. Kind of old guy, sniffs your hair. But they get rid of him before

the hot scenes. Oh, that's good. Yeah, he's not there. Oh, you don't have to watch that. Yuck. So anyway, she finds, so on the cover of this little box of candles, she found that, and then she thought,

what are these for? And at the top of the box of the candles, there was a small metal ring inserted into the box of candles as a candle holder of sorts. She thought, how very unusual. So she looked into it, and this, it turned out, was a matching candles company's saucy marketing,

and these were known as brothel candles. Ah. So when you went to a Victorian-era brothel in Europe, England specifically, but around Europe, you would be given a brothel in Europe and around England specifically but around Europe you would be given a brothel candle. You'd pay.

You'd be given your brothel candle. When you go in you would light it and those candles what they were made of and how big they were burnt for exactly

seven minutes. So when the candle had burnt to nothing your time was up. Seven minutes? Yeah. Oh that's a lot of pressure, isn't it? Is it?

Is that not a long time? What if you're nervous? That's like enough for two, isn't it? Am I allowed to bring a friend? Because they could probably, I'd be done in two. Use up my spare minutes? Yeah. So does that include, so getting in there and getting...

The minute you... Did you close off? I don't know if the derobing came... I was going to say, could I get naked and then start the candle? Could I arrive naked? Sure. It's Victorian England. Make the most of the time.

It's Victorian England. Your clothes are probably flea infested anyway. Seven minutes. Yeah, so seven minutes. Wow, okay. The journalist then looked into the fact of, because if you have heard of the game Seven Minutes in Heaven. I have.

Remember that? You'd lock yourself in a cupboard with someone. For seven minutes. But you'd always, I'll ask for two and it would be dark and nothing happened. You'd be like, get out. Right, yeah. Because there's moths in here. Yeah.

I don't know, I'm scared of the dark. I've run out of things to talk about. And when you're a kid and you play that and nothing happens, you're like, man, when you're an adult, this stuff must happen all the time. Yeah. And I can tell you, it never has for me has for me fletch it happens for you regularly he's painting such a picture of this constant barrage of disinformation i'm barely painting the picture at all i'm giving you a small piece of the corner this is like a was jig of fletch you're seeing it from one point of view

but what you're going to get is completely different. Wow. Anyway, the fact of the day. But it's not related to seven minutes in heaven. Right. Apparently not related to seven minutes in heaven. So today's fact of the day is in 1800s Europe, if you were to visit a brothel you would burn a seven minute brothel candle.

Fact of the day! Day, day, day, day! Ah, Fact of the day, day, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Hey, I had a bit of an emotional afternoon yesterday where I said goodbye to a very loyal and dear friend. My Mazda 3. Did it have a name? Mazzy.

Matt. Oh dear. You walked right into that one. I'm still feeling very sensitive about this, okay? Okay. How long had you had Mazzy for? I've had Mazzy... So Mazzy made you cry yesterday, is what you're saying?

Mazzy made me cry. I had Mazzy for nine years. Wow. But Mazzy was new in my family. I inherited Mazzy from my mother, who inherited it from my father. So your mother had a Mazzy before you did? Mum had a Mazzy, and then I had the Mazzy.

Anyway, so this was the most loyal car you'll ever meet. It did 380,000 kilometres. That's good. For a 2005 car, not bad. It had beautiful speakers. She never let me down, never ran out of gas, never died on me. It was just, we went through a lot together.

And the time came when I went to get a warrant of fitness and she just said no. It was time. What was this warrant of fitness no-nos? The airbags didn't go off and the seatbelts didn't retract. So you'd say vital safety features had given up the ghost. I knew it was time to part with her

when I offered to lend... That's a dangerous Mazzy. Yeah, to lend the car to my friend who was visiting with her baby in a car seat. And I said, well, you can take my car if you like. Oh, it's not warranted, but it'll be fine. She said, why is it not warranted? And I told her about the seatbelts and the airbags.

She was, I'm not putting my baby in there. Anyway, so I just couldn't deal with the fact and every day Aaron's been like, please, we need to do... I've already bought a new car. So Mazzy's just been sitting out on the street getting coned by these bloomin' tradies. And yesterday someone-

Did you ask the tradies if they wanted a Mazzy? They're not my friends. I'm not giving them my friend. Yeah. No. Anyway, so someone told me yesterday about these services where you can just call and get them picked up and taken away.

Oh yeah, like Rickers. Shh. To a happier place. I don't need to know where they're going. A farm. And the guy came yesterday to check it out and they tell you how much they'll give you for it. They have a little look. So the only thing that was wrong with it was the airbags which can be sorted and the

seatbelts which could be replaced. That's all electrical stuff. And the engine light's broken. Anyway, so he came and he valued it. He told me the amount. It wasn't what I wanted, but it was fine. And we said yes.

And as he gave me the money and I handed over the keys, I was wearing sunglasses and I just started to weep. And he kept asking me these questions and I didn't want to answer because I didn't want to reveal that I was crying quite heavily.

So Aaron just sort of stepped in and the guy left and I sat on my front doorstep looking at the car, which was going to be picked up by the tow truck. And I wept. And then I held a short photo shoot with it. So you cried because you sold your car,

but you've got a new car. I know. And the new car is much nicer, but the spirit and the soul of this thing, I've always felt really connected to objects, like to, what do you call them? You know, not human things. Inanimate objects.

Inanimate objects, thank you. Right. And so I feel a deep sense of loss at this car and everything that we've been through together. And I, yeah, I feel sad as to its future. So I cried and I cried and I cried. If it makes you feel better, think of Mazzy as passing away but being an organ donor

because there'll be heaps of really good parts that can come off that car that can make other Mazda 3s live a longer and happier life. She'd had a few surgeries, so she had some nice parts to her. But just RIP, and I just thank you, and I know you guys will be sending me some messages of condolences, and I just really appreciate it. I'd imagine they'll be flowing in.

Yeah, because you've lost a friend. I have. I feel quite upset. So we want to ask on the back of this, because you told us in the group chat yesterday, and we did laugh at you, have you ever been in a situation where you've lost a possession and you've cried? You've got emotional.

Yeah. Because maybe it was a car that you were attached to. Or maybe it was a house. My mum often cries when she leaves a house that she's lived in. You're upgrading and going to a better house. No, I get that. When we moved out of our place, it was quite an emotional time.

Our kids, we'd lived there when both of our kids had been born. Yeah. We lived there just before we got married and like, you know, there was a whole, I totally get houses. So many memories attached to houses. Yeah.

Tell me I'm not the only one that weeps over objects. An inanimate object. So 0800 dials it in. Give us a call. You can text as well, 9696. What position did you lose and get emotional over?

An emotional day for Hayley yesterday because you sold your car of seven years? Yeah, nine years. Oh, nine years to Little Mazda? Little Mazda. And it's, yeah, I wept in front of the guy

who took it away like it was a family dog or something. Like a human had died. I say that like it's a family dog, but I text my parents because it was their car before mine. My dad said, I don't know why this might sound a bit silly, but I'm feeling quite sad. And I said, I'm crying. So we all had a bit of a cry. Someone messaged saying, Hayley, I get this. I cried when I sold Maud. I cried when

I sold Jolene. And more recently, I cried when I sold Beryl, even though she was leaky and squeaky. Yeah. Well, Sarah, what did you get emotional over? An object. So when I was younger, I had a bumblebee buzzy toy. Oh, yep, same. And when I decided, you know, I have children, I was like, I'll hand it down to my son. Yep.

And he ripped the head off Buzzy Bee. Oh, no. Wow. That's acceptable. Off Buzzy B. Oh, no. Wow. Unacceptable. I did a burial for him, and I was bawling my eyes out while he was playing with his Transformer toy or whatever was next. But I was sad for today. You should have smashed that Transformer toy and been like, now what?

Now what? But that's the thing. It's got all the sentimental and emotional attachment, doesn't it? Yeah, it was my childhood toy growing up. So I was like, I'll give it to my son. We passed down the family, maybe for another generation, and now it's on the ground now. And you buried it.

In a way, it was like you were... Did you think about cremating it? Because that would start the fire well. Oh, it would, actually. Take the plastic wings out. What do you think the stuffing's made of? She's all plastic, baby. Hayley, quite emotional at the loss of your nine-year-old Mazda.

Yeah, finally had to get rid of it. And it made you cry. And I cried in front of the wrecker guy. In fact, the whole family's upset. Yes, so I just posted a photo of me and the Maz on Instagram and my mum commented saying, oh gosh, she's so earnest, I love it. Bye, Mazzy, thank you for keeping Hayley safe. the Maz on Instagram and my mum commented saying, oh gosh,

she's so earnest. I love it. Bye Mazzy. Thank you for keeping Hayley safe. Rest now. You've earned it. And my dad texts me saying she will always be a Sproul. Wow.

This makes so much sense when I think about how much of an emotional person I am that I was raised by these two people. That my family collectively is weeping over this car. Because I've never thought when people give their cars

names, I didn't assume the surname was always the family name. Oh, Mazzy Jane Sproul. I never assumed that they had a surname. Yeah. Shawnee, when did you get emotional over an object that you lost? So I

had my purse stolen and my mum went and had some pens in it. My mum went back to the same store, bought the exact same pens for me for Christmas and I opened my present on Christmas Day

surrounded by these beautiful presents and I hold these pens in my hand and started crying. Aww. Because you miss your original pens

and purse. What a thoughtful gift. It was awesome. I look like a crazy person, though. Yeah, you did. You did. You did. Hey, Shawnee, thanks for your call.

Hi, April. What object made you cry? It was my little manicure table that I bought while I was overseas, and I couldn't fit it into my bag when my OE was over. So you cried? Well, yeah, I was crying and then my flatmate who I was living with was like, why are you

crying? No one died. I'm like, no one asked you, Svetlana. Shut it, Svetlana. Shut your mouth, you Bavarian monster. I can't accept this. This is a very emotional time in here. Have you bought a manicure table here, or is it just not the same? I keep trying to find the same one that I had.

It's not the same. But they just don't exist anywhere. Well, you know, maybe one day the borders will open up again, and you can get back overseas and find that table. I'm going to have to fly somewhere. Yeah. April, thanks for your call. Someone messaged in saying when they were younger,

they used to write notes about how much they'd loved the time with the family cars when they were being sold and hide them in the family car. Oh, yeah. Like, I hope the next owner looks after you and then, like, push it in. Like in the dipstick thingy. Nah, I think they probably kept it away from the engine bay. Oh, yeah, more of a, like, under the glove box. Oh, right.

Yeah, like in that little thing behind the seat where you shovel your rubbish. I did that once in a house my mum was renovating. I put in, I've loved this home, and put it in the wall, and then she jibbed it. So maybe one day they'll tear it down. They'll find it. It'll be one of those ones that you put, like, the newspaper from the day or something in it. That would have been smart, eh? Yeah.

Like a date. I didn't date it. Okay. Somebody else, lots of cars. I cried when I had to sell my tractor and then the tractor emoji and that's all they wrote. It's too hard to talk about sometimes. Yeah.

My Tom Ford sunglasses got stolen in Fiji 14 years ago. I cried and I still think about them often. They were perfect. And no sunglasses have ever compared. Never find them again. That's like you and your sunglasses. You love those, don't you? No, I had that brand of sunglasses.

That's right. I had these Ray-Bans and they were Ray-Ban 2152s, I think. That was the serial number. I don't know. Not all of us worked at the sunglass, huh? I worked at sunglass. I worked at sunglass style. Are those the 2112s?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, you look great. Someone said, Ray-Bans will make those forever. You should try a different. So I did, and then Ray-Bans stopped making them. I could never get them again. I could never get them again. Right.

And people used to say, I really like your sunglasses. No one's said that about my sunglasses since. Remember that pair of Mooie Mooie sunglasses I had? They were very large. I hated them. Mooie Mooie? Mooie. Do you mean Mew Mew? Yeah. Mooie Mooie. M-I-U, M-I-U? Yeah, those are them. They were very large. I hated them. Mui Mui. Do you mean

Miu Miu? Mui Mui. M-I-U, M-I-U? Yeah, those are them. Mui Mui. Got the 2000s or something. They were big. I'm glad they didn't last long because looking back, I don't have too many photos wearing them. They were like Paris Hilton big on you. Yeah, they were. Yeah, they were huge. You don't wear your Karen

Walkers much? For special occasions. Okay, good. Oh, yeah. That's a going out class. Yeah, definitely. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast,

why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here. ZM.