ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 28th July 2020

Episode Date: July 27, 2020

Marmite Beverage  Top 6: Ways to not spend money on a date  Tin Roulette  Don't get Fletch started! What song reminds you of your ex?  Radio TinderFact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletchmore and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Grab yourself a delicious barista made coffee for only $4. It's just, this is recorded post-show. This is, the studio's just starting to get back to a reasonable temperature. Oh my god, you are about to hear a show done in extreme. Let's get Georgia in here. Yeah, I was going to say, Georgia needs to come in to defend herself because you've been bitching and moaning about it. So we came in today and it was like a Norwegian sauna. It was. A Norwegian sauna. It's cold now. I might actually need to put my jacket

back on. You had your jacket on in the sauna. We find out that Georgia, who comes to work in a bloody crop top and miniskirt, is cold. She's wearing jeans and a jersey. Georgia's here jeans and a jersey. Georgia's here in a bloody Emily Ratajanowski set of tobs and we're saying

if you're cold, hun, just put a jacket on. If you're cold, hun. Georgia, I freeze my todays off most days in here and I always wear a jacket, so thank you for one day. It was actually nice. Nice and toasty. That's the thing. I'm in this little studio next door. You'll see how dark it is the thing. I'm in this little studio next door.

You'll see how dark it is in there. And I'm freezing my toes off. That's the switch that the door turns the light on. Does it? I'll show you how it works. Shit, they're condescending. But the thing is, Georgia, you've messed with the air con. It's controlled by a computer program, which someone has to manually do.

We can't just do it. Did you fiddle with it personally? No, I didn't actually. She asked if she could possibly have it just a smidge warmer. But here's the thing, you've gone too high. You've gone to Norwegian sauna level. And Vaughan and I have to take clothes off. Do you want us walking around in our underwear?

It would be a laugh. That's sexual harassment. We'll be popping up to HR and you'll be coming with Straight after this Bring your jacket tomorrow I don't know I need to be rung up at work Thank you very much But surely this

Sophisticated air conditioning system Could be put on a timer Yeah You'd think so You know So that at quarter to ten It kicks up a notch So you get your warmth

And then Bree and Clint Can say how they want it And then Cam can have it how he wants it. And then come midnight, it begins to cool again for the 6 a.m. And I just have to deal with how you want it. Yes. Oh, wear a jacket. You've got to wear a jacket.

We'll be sponsored by Catman Do. Look at you. You're wearing like a see-through top. Fuck off. I'm wearing sleeves. I'm wearing sleeves. You're wearing T-shirts. That doesn't look like it would keep the cold out.

That's a Harry Styles nipple shower, that shirt. That's a blouse. Okay, well, let's go up to HR and I'll take you with me. No, I'm saying Harry Styles wears those ones that you can see his nipples through. Yeah, yeah. I can't see your nipples. It's not lace. And I don't know if your nipples would be like Harry Styles' nipples.

That's not something I'd put any time into thinking about. No, he's got three, doesn't he? Or four? He does. He's got three, yeah three I definitely only have two Where's his third It's in the middle Of his torso

Babes Are you just Catching up on this Google How do you not know Can you google that I need to see this Everyone knows

Harry Styles nipples I'm surprised You don't know Georgia You should know this But does he have Like an areola Or just little nip parts I don't think

There's an areola It's not quite a full nip But it's That's the thing I hear a lot of talk About third nipples And then you see a think there's an area. It's not quite a full nip, but it's... That's the thing. I hear a lot of talk about third nipples, and then you see a photo, and it doesn't look... It just looks like a slightly raised piece of skin. Have you seen the guy with two penises?

He did a Reddit. This was a big jump. How is it a big jump? We've gone from three nipples to two penises. Oh, it is. It's like a tiny... Harry Styles' third nipple looks just like a pimple. So I actually...

Really teeny tiny nipple. And they both work. See, this does actually have like a pointy bit on it. It does. It has a little areola. It looks like a mini nipple. It looks like in the development in the womb, the womb was like, are we making a pig or a human?

Oh, I started on pig. I'll stop now. Yeah, right. Yeah, okay. Well, that's good. Tomorrow, I expect this studio to be fantastically icicly. Yeah. I want it like that Queen sound.

Five minus five below ice bar. I want ice cocktails made out of ice glasses. And we're walking and we go, can't stay in here for too long. And you bring your magic bullet. I don't know how you do it. You bring your magic bullet for your... Daiquiries. Daiquiries.

I can have Daiquiries. Daiquiries. I can have Daiquiries. Megan will explode her in the crockpot full of mulled wine. Daiquiries are preferable in tropical weather. Yeah, yeah. But I mean... All right, well, enjoy the... That sounds like an excuse for someone who doesn't want to have to bring in their magic bullet to make Daiquiries. That's what I put up with, Jake.

I honestly don't know how you do it. ZM. Head music. Lives here. Flesh, Fawn and Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Ash. ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Ash. Good morning.

Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Five minutes past six. Good morning. It's very warm in the studio. Megan hasn't had quite enough chat about how warm it is. I can't believe you're still in a puffer jacket. I'm almost about to take off my shoes.

Usually, I'm freezing my nana's off. Yeah. And so now you're just getting a taste of our medicine because I got turned up a little bit. And I'm like, it's actually quite cosy in here now. It's too cosy though. It's eight degrees outside the studio, according to my on-screen thermometer.

And so every day I come in and when I'm freezing, do I go on about it? Do I mention it ever? No, but the thing is, Megan, they've messed with the air con. It's easier to put clothes on than it is to take them off. Vaughn and I can't sit here in our undies. I can't go in and I can't take my t-shirt off. It's not that hot.

That's not a treat for you. Oh, it's smeltering. I'm still wearing a puffer jacket. It's not that hot. You need to chill out. Because you look at the top you're wearing. It's the same as your t-shirt. God, you took painful. No, it's not. You can see through that. It's not that hot. You need to chill out. Because look at the top you're wearing. It's the same as your T-shirt. God, you took a painful...

No, it's not. You can see through that. It's... Oh, you're so... That's a blouse. That's a blouse. Can we get a fan? Can we get an oscillating desk fan?

Can I get a little heater then when it's freezing in here? You can get a heated seat. You can wear some thermals. You can get a little heated seat pad. Oh, that'd be nice. Yeah, warm'd be nice. Warm from the butts. Plug it into your USB. Isn't it?

You kick up such a fuss as soon as you're just slightly out of your comfort zone. I can't either. It feels like we're in that, we've got a sauna. We've got a greenhouse in the corner that we never use. Well, I mean, if the music just keeps playing, we might have nodded off. Just saying, that's a high possibility this morning on the show. A little snooze job. Horrible working conditions

for you guys this morning. Horrible sweatshop temperatures in here right now. Coming up on the show are the top six. Oh, shut up. Hang in there, mate. Yeah, British people

are apparently spending £1,300 a year on dating. So that's $2,600 a year on dates. Yeah. If you were single. $200 a month. Wow, okay. Which means if you go on a couple of dates, it's...

A few drinks and dinner? Used to add some. If you went on a couple of dates a month, if you were dating and you went on one every fortnight, that's only like $100 a date. That's not bad. That's a lot. Are you just paying for what you get? No, you're paying for your whole date.

No, that's a lot of money. Dinner, drinks, maybe a movie, a show. That's a lot of money at once. Yeah. Money bags over here. Splash out. Just because they turn up at your house ready to go, Fletch, doesn't mean the rest of the world's not going out

and still putting a little bit of effort in. Whining and dining. And you go out and eat a bloody Caesar salad and you're like, oof, no, full thank you, I'm done. No pudding. I don't need to see the dessert. Some of us still like to eat. All right.

And then go to the movies or a show. Yeah. We've got the top six ways to go on a date without spending anything. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. I've seen this floating around for the last little while, and I think this is an old British thing, but lots of things are old British things, and they're yuck. And this looks to be joining the ranks of it,

but it kind of got to the point where even Marmite posted about it. It's a hot Marmite. Oh, I saw this. Is this why you brought in today not just your coffee, but a cup of Marmite? Is that what that is? Right. This is a hot Marmite.

Now, this is a spoon, a heaped spoon of Marmite in hot water, and then you add some cold water to... The weird thing about it is it's got some floaties. Oh. What, yeast floaties? What are they? But every now and then, the floatie will be, like, zomp to the side. And you know when you leave miso soup for too long and it starts to, like, separate?

What have you done here, Anya? It looks like that's happening. I made a Vegemite one. Oh, I don't want either of those. Vaughn's like, I'm a Vegemite guy. I am a Vegemite guy. Yep, there don't want either of those. Vaughan's like, I'm a Vegemite guy. I am a Vegemite guy. Yep, there you go. Why did you mix that?

In terms of a drink, I actually reckon Vegemite drink would be better. They look different, don't they? That looks like a really dark coffee. Like you've had a whoopsie of milk in there. It does. I actually can't smell it, though. Can you smell it? Sweetheart, how much Vegemite did you put in there?

Well, the jar's there. Look at it, though. Look at just... just excuse me that's my personal stash and i'll be having that with some chibber later and i shall be having you depleting my stock but run a side by side yeah is that enough or not enough to get a taste do you want another one how much though tell me it was like a half a teaspoon no bounty told me to do a heap teaspoon and that's what I did. So you did a heap teaspoon and that's a heap teaspoon. Well, that's already the Marmite's darker, isn't it? The Marmite looks like a fuller beverage.

Thank you, Arnie, for using your Vegemite. It's like a weak soup. You're welcome, Fletch. Thank you for saying thank you. Like a stock. I mean, it's technically like a savoury, like an OXO cube, isn't it? Is that disgusting? Like a beef soup with no bits in it. Could you use it as a stock? Probably an OXO cube, isn't it? Is it disgusting? Like a beef soup. Yeah.

With no bits in it. Could you use it as a stock? Probably. I think some people do, yeah. Really? Yeah. What would it go well with, though? Just like in a stew or casserole.

Okay, that could richen up like a casserole or a stew. Go try it. Okay, I'm going to try Marmite first. Can you smell it? I can't smell it. I mean, it tastes like a miso soup. Yeah. It just wasn't what I expected it to be.

It bounced all the way down. You're going for a second sip, though. Yeah, it's like a miso. If I do, I have Marmite. But my jar of Marmite the other day, I looked at the expiry date. It was 2016. It doesn't expire. Don't believe the hype.

Oh, but I threw it out because I was like, I can't believe this is, does it not go off? No. You're such a princess with that shirt. I'll be like, that's all right. Megan, it's 2020. That's pretty much a pickle. It's pretty much a pickle. It's fine.

I taught the kids the other day. They were like, Vegemite's empty. I'm like, no, it's not. And you get out the spatula and you, like, get it right into the corner and you do a hard run around. You got at least three more pieces of toast in there. Yeah. And then did you take them into the World War II bunker?

Yeah. So you're trying the Vegemite now. Okay, the Vegemite tastes like a vegetable soup and the Marmite tastes like a mis soup And the ma might taste like a miso So add a stretch If you didn't have miso paste If you didn't have soup If you were out like camping or whatever

This could be like a Kind of a nice hot drink Right Otherwise back to the coffee Well you're not poo pooing it I'm not poo pooing it Oh no Certainly not in the place of a coffee

I'd say more in the place of a soup Right okay Than a coffee Certainly not a coffee replacement But you're not going to finish those No in the place of a soup. Right, okay. Than a coffee. Certainly not a coffee replacement. But you're not going to finish those. No. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan,

the podcast. Oh, shit. That was just, I'll give you a little bit of background. Fletch said, tease the top six that's on next. Turn on the microphone. I realise I haven't done a single point of the top six. And so I say, oh, shit.

And that's where you joined us. That's an insight into. Ah, shit. I'm prepared this. The show. I'm going to be half with you this break. I've got some work to do. No, you have to join in because this is your favourite

topic. What is it? We're talking about a vegan couple. Okay. So this couple, she was vegan. She was a very outspoken vegan and she made it clear at the start of the relationship that any partner needed to have similar cruelty

free values. Right. Which is fine. Yeah, he was a pescatarian, so he said it wasn't much of a jump for him to go vegan. What's pescatarian again? Fish. Fish. The end. That's it.

For the meat. See, I could do that. No, you could not. But did they eat eggs? Bacon? Did pescatarians eat eggs? Yeah, they're vegetarian, but they eat fish. Right, and eggs. So they eat eggs and cheese and skirt.

I could do that if forced. Bacon. I know, but I would miss bacon. Yeah, you're right. Fried chicken. I'd miss that a lot. Korean fried chicken has been my latest go-to. Yeah, I'd miss those too.

Okay, I couldn't do it. You're right. You're fine. You're right. Those Koreans are okay by me. I won't have a bad word said. Know how to do. North, south.

A fried chicken. Yeah, they do. The ones that drop off the packages, Koreans are okay by me. No. The food's amazing. The Korean cuisine is. Yeah. So good.

So he went from pescatarian to vegan. He was like, okay, let's do it. And then they were, he said, by all accounts, she was amazing, super compatible. And he brought to the relationship a cat, which he loved. So the cat was pre-her. Okay. Now, the cat is not vegan and he eats meat. Now, in the end, the girlfriend was like, this is really disgusting.

I can't have meat in the house. I can't handle it when you feed the cat meat. So she said, it's me or the cat. Either the cat goes vegan or I can't do this. I googled, can cats be vegan? Yeah, I just did too. The ASPCA, so that's the American Society for the Protection of Cats. Very, very many.

Anonymous. They said there's a number of reasons cats don't do well on a vegan diet, but it essentially comes down to this. They are not adapted to it. They've spent all, like, the evolutionary process being meaty, carnivorous. What's inside? So I feed my cat biscuits. Is there meat in those?

Yeah. Yeah. Dehydrated meat. You imagine how badly the biscuits factory must stink. Oh, yeah, because I open up the little box of biscuits. Because there's like veggies and stuff in it and like salmon, fish bits and meat bits and stuff. And there's some veg. I mean, I don't think grains are great for cats.

Right. And dogs are the same. Maybe not. Don't go heavy on the grains, but man, that factory must be pongy. Oh, stanky, yeah, without a doubt. So, yeah, okay, so what? So she said she couldn't go into the next phase of the relationship if he wasn't willing to give away mittens.

He'd had mittens for three years and was like super cuddly, super loyal cat, which is probably quite hard to come by. So he broke up with her. It was a snide shot of cats there. Wasn't it? Yeah. He broke up with her. He was like, actually, I can't give up mittens. Surely if you're a vegan, you just,

they're animals, like they're doing What they're doing Yeah but you have to I kind of get it Like you have to feed Them the meat Like and that Probably grosses people out Quite a bit

But if it was biscuits Couldn't you just write it off To being biscuits But then if you were Yeah dry food Yeah dry food If he wasn't asking her To ever feed it

If he was feeding it Yeah And being like Hey I'm going to feed the cat She can go out of the room. Surely that would be all right. And you can keep tinned cat food in like a cupboard. It doesn't need to be refrigerated.

You get the little ones. Like I understand we get that Jimbo stuff for our cats and it's in this massive plastic see-through container and you can see it all and it's meaty glorious. And I can imagine that would upset a vegan having that sat in the fridge. Yeah. But other than that, you don't even see it all, and it's meaty glorious. Oh, yeah. And I can imagine that would upset a vegan, having that sat in the fridge. Yeah. But other than that, you don't even see it. I think it's just the idea of the fact that the cat was eating flesh in her house that really upset her.

But Mittens wins. Mittens won. Nice one. Nice one, Mittens. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast, ZM. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Ah, I love it.

There was like 40 seconds left. No, we had another. Fleet was like, ah, you've got the top six. I was like, oh, here we go. So apparently Brits are spending 1,300 pounds a year on dating roughly 2,600 bucks around there. I didn't think that was that bad. If you're going on two dates a month,

that's 100 bucks a date. That's a lot. But that's doing something, like having dinner or drink and then doing something like a movie. What do you do for dates? Every date though, like you just go for a coffee or something or like go for dinner and just get a main.

Yeah, like don't progress to the dinner stage unless they're worth it. Can you guys not eat a hundred dollars worth of food at a cafe? No they wouldn't be doing it on a first date.

I would be. I'll have two big breakfasts please. Oh yeah I'll have one of those slices. You're going on a breakfast date. Yeah no you always

go on a brunch like in the middle of the day because it's cheaper. And then you can be like, I've got something to do. So if it's not going well, you can bounce or be like, I'm going to cancel my plans. The rest of the day is booked, yeah. Yeah.

As opposed to night time where you've got something after this. Definitely don't get slices to go, so I won't be judged. But their top six ways to not spend anything on a date. Number six, pull out last minute. Have the whole date lined up and then pull out last minute. But having told them what you had planned for them, say someone's sick or something, and you have to pull out, and then they'll be like, well, in their mind,

he was going to spend a lot of money. That's what was going to happen. Yeah. That's actually, like, really messed up, but quite genius. But then next time you go on a date, plans have changed. I've got to keep it fresh. And that could be number five on the list of the top six ways to not spend anything on a date.

Two words, botanical gardens. Let's walk through the garden. Get your mum to make you some ham rolls. Make your own ham rolls. No No because then you've got to pay You've got a mum So you're like mum I need a couple of ham rolls I've got a date Because you know mums love whooping up a ham roll

Yeah We're not buying lunch at the zoo We're taking some ham rolls I can't decide if that would be cute or weird If like your date turned up with, like, ham rolls for you. You don't tell them that your mum made the ham rolls. No. You made the ham rolls.

Yeah. But, like, here's a ham roll I made for you. Wouldn't that be adorable? I'm not sure. In the botanical gardens. Maybe. By the fish pond. On a blanket.

Again, it depends how hot they are, I guess. Yeah. Better get away with it. Number four on the list of the top six ways to not spend anything on a date. Order food, eat, and then say, I'm just going to go to the bathroom and switch the fire alarm on. And then you'll be evacuated and then just walk away. Yeah, okay.

They might chase you. They might not. They've probably got insurance companies. They don't. They don't. Number three on the list of the top six ways to not spend anything on a date. Say you're fasting, so you can't eat, but then you need to get your steps up. So say they can join you for a walk.

A date that's a walk? A date walk. Okay. A walking date. Right. A casual stroll. You could market it as a casual stroll. Number two on the list of the top six ways to not spend anything on a date.

Tell them you'll meet them at the food court, but then get there half an hour early and just go around picking up everybody else's plates that they didn't finish. And then when they get there, say, I've purchased you a smorgasbord of everything the food court has on offer. And they're like, why are these chips cold? Well, dip them in that curry sauce. I think you'll find that'll warm them right up.

And add a little bit of taste. Free. Yeah. Okay. Not wrong. And number one on the list of the top six ways to not spend anything on a date. That movie you were going to go see, just download it. Just pirate it.

It might not be the best quality, but tell them it's an authentic Southeast Asian cinema experience. Brilliant. That is today's top six. There's stats about New Zealand drinking post-lockdown. What it meant, because in lockdown, I think there was a bit more drinking, wasn't there? I think I definitely, looking at lockdown and post-lockdown, I reckon during lockdown I drank more. I drank like every day and I don't drink a lot.

Beer and wine though, I and cider, you couldn't buy spirits during level four. Well, no, mine was spirits. Whiskey and gin and liquor. Do you remember those huge lines outside the liquor stores in West Auckland because there was a little loophole there? Yeah, but they closed that loophole. So you couldn't go and get your bottle of Woodstock.

Couldn't go and get a delicious bottle of Burbs. And I discovered like fruity daiquiris in my magic bullet. Did you? Yes. What a great idea for a magic bullet. I remember I showed you on Zoom. That's a burgy lockdown. I didn't know that that was a go-to during lockdown.

Yeah, that was, yeah. It was a dark time. We don't like to bring it up.-to during lockdown. Yeah, that was yeah. It was a dark time. We don't like to bring it up. I don't want to say every day but every day. The Queen does. 93 years old. She's doing great. Looks great. Still very with it.

I'm beginning to think daily drinking might be the secret. So there was an online survey and people were asked how they were drinking during level four and how they're drinking now that we're at alert level one. 22% of those surveyed reported drinking less than they usually would in alert level one. So compared to normal times pre-COVID. 22% said I'm drinking less. And 34% said they drank less during lockdown.

Really? Who are these people? I know, that's crazy, right? So now that we're back to semi-normality, 22% of people are drinking less, but apparently 34% of people said they drank less during lockdown. So I'm imagining the other 66% must have really been picking up the slack. Yeah.

Yeah. But then I guess also a lot of people might have been limited during lockdown to booze. Yeah, true. They might not have had it and it was harder to come by. And, you know, if you were tightening the purse strings, it certainly isn't an essential. Yeah. He says, as it definitely is, but has to say that it's not. But apparently one in seven, so 14%, are saying they're now drinking more

than they were during lockdown. Right. Yeah. Got into a habit. Yeah. I'm drinking a little bit more. I couldn't keep that habit up. Why not?

We've got to keep the industry moving, Megan. We've got to revitalise this economy. I have to do it by buying alcohol. I'll do it. The keep the industry moving, Megan. We've got to revitalise this economy. I don't have to do it by buying alcohol. I'll do it. The strawberry industry is hurting, Megan. That was the thing. I went through so many bloody frozen strawberries. Those New Zealand frozen strawberries are high. They were.

They were. Flesh, fawn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Gigi Hadid. She probably thought. Gigi Hadid. Gigi Hadid. Gigi Hadid. Gigi Hadid.

Gigi Hadaya. Hadaya. Probably thought, you know, lockdown. We're seeing the inside of people's homes. Yep. The world is going to love my luxury New York apartment that apparently I spent all of last year designing and curating. Curating.

Curating. What did I say. Curating. Curating. What did I say? Curating. Curating. I don't know. You just got to make it. It's where you karate chop, you curation, you curating. Wait, so she spent a year designing and making this home exactly how she wanted.

With designers who don't want to put their name to it. It's something, man. Like, I know interior design's subjective and it's her house, so if she's happy with it, that's fine. But if you're putting it out there being like, look how great I've done, you've got to be prepared for everyone to be like, damn, Gigi, that's the craziest shit I ever seen. Actually, I'd call it hideous in parts.

Like, it's quite horrific. Where do you want to start? The kitchen. I'm not a home designer, but I don't know what she's thinking. But sometimes you can't go past simplicity or just like picking a theme and then sticking to it. Yeah. You know?

It's all over the place. The table in the kitchen's yellow, and then it has a big chopping board. See, I like that butcher's block but not next to a ghastly yellow bench or table. And then there's like a wooden bowl full of billiard

balls. Different coloured white. I don't know. I don't know man. The billiard balls are the decorations. Like a fake fruit bowl. It's full of billiard balls. And it's huge. It's taken up half the bench. And it's not like the theme is like some kind of

old garage bar where that might work. It's a very confusing theme. There's rustic, there's sort of like French the cabinetry has got a French farmhouse feel to it. Right. And that is a cool theme, but run it through the whole place.

Yeah. This is so bitsy. It's all over the show. And then the pasta. Oh, and then the pasta? So the yellow bench we talked about, the cupboards that are below that, I think it's a facade. They're coloured with different pastas.

So there's glass, and then you can there's glass so they're like see-through cabinet doors yeah there's like a red a blue a yellow and a green pasta facade i almost think you like but it's not a pasta store even if it was just a glass front you wouldn't want to see you that's a good thing about cupboards you hide your shame of like i'm missing don't you miss matching plates and glasses. Yeah, but she's dyed the plaster and stuck that to the glass. That's an interesting look. Yeah.

Green, yellow, orange, blue. Has she blue-tacked on magazine covers? In the bathroom, yeah. One of the bathrooms, yeah. So it's got marble walls. Now, the bathroom has potential. Right. It's not a write-off.

But she's blue-tacked magazine covers all over. Covers of the New Yorker magazine. And, I mean, if she wanted to do that, you'd think, okay, well, you frame them, frame some prints. She's literally cut them out, ripped them out, and blue-tacked them to the marble. It's bizarre. It's so bizarre. You've got to Google this. Exposed.

Would that not just run when there's some condensation from the shell? It'll get soggy and rip. And they'll buckle. Yeah. Just goes to show you can be rich, but you have no taste. And as you walk out of that bathroom, there's a huge yellow ballpoint pen, which would be taller than me. Just leaning there.

That would be a 10-foot ceiling, I'd say, and it's at least 8-foot tall. Wow, okay. It's a giant yellow pen. There's some of the most aggressive carpet I've ever seen on this deck. I would rather have the old carpet at the Nelson Airport than that, and that was famous for it. Is 70s-ish. Yeah.

Yeah. There's other parts of it that are like, it. Is seven-e's niche-ish. There's other parts of it that are like, there's just a lot happening. Yeah, well. And we're not the only ones that think so. The world's agreed. Somebody says, it sure makes me feel better that Gigi Hadid's house is ugly and it's bringing me all sorts of comfort.

Great. Gigi Hadid's inedible dyed past the cabinet facade has absolutely ruined my day. Someone's said, Therapist, Gigi Hadid's interior design choices can't hurt you. And then they put up pictures of it. Yeah, well. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast.

You've got to start again. You've got to give me the warning for my theme song for a new game we're playing. I thought this was your theme. What do you mean? Oh, you're not singing, are you got to start again. You've got to give me the warning for my theme song for a new game we're playing. I thought this was your theme. What do you mean? Oh, you're not singing, are you? Yeah. Oh.

Oh, do you want to... I'll give you a recap. Yesterday on the show... Okay. We were talking about when you broke up with someone and left their house for the final time, pulling all the labels off the cans as a real ha, gotcha, but not too vindictive.

And I said I'd rate myself to be able to work out what was in a can pre-opening the can. If it had no label on it. No label. Right. With knowledge of what I had in the pantry. Yeah, right. And you guys said there's no way you could do it,

and I said I bet I can. And so I have got people, and I had nothing to do with the selection of these four cans. Yeah, producer Jarrah's brought these in. Four cans. Identical cans that have all got ring tabs on them. They all look identical. And it's time to play.

Can he guess the can, can? What is in the tin, tin? What is in the can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can? That was pretty good on the fly. Yeah, that was. I mean, it's a very well-known tune. So when you're going to guess, there's four cans. I'm labelled.

You're going to guess what's in each of them. Well, you said I can guess the spaghetti. That was your thing. You were like, I know it. I like the up the stakes. He can guess what's in each one. Now, if you don't guess, though, if you're wrong, when you open the can, you have to have a spoonful of what's in there.

I didn't see a spoon here. I wondered if the ante had been upped. Well, we did think you'd have to eat the whole can, but we don't have time for those. They're all edible for starters. There's no jelly made or anything. They're all identical. This is what blows my mind.

All got rip tabs, and they are identical cans have my mind all got rip tabs and they're like they are identical cans they've all got the imprint in the top no identifying feature like those cans could be anything yeah so you'd shake right well you can do with them what you don't look at the bottom i wonder if it doesn't say anything. It says 1108. So that's nothing. I guess that's some sort of... If you opened it and there was a glass shard in it, you could ring the factory and be like, I believe this production number was this.

Yeah, right. But you can shake the can. You can do whatever you need to do to... Oh, yuck. So that... That sounds... That's too tightly packed. It's like that could be a spaghetti.

You reckon? There's a lot in there. Okay, well, that's can number one. Okay, how? That's similar. That's similar. That's similar. Okay.

Oopsie, one and two. Okay. Got to go through all four. Can three. That's a little bit thicker. A little less. Feels like it could be a little bit thicker. Okay.

Now, one of those tins is spaghetti. All right, listen. That's fruit juice. Fruit juice. Fruit salad. It's like peaches. Like peaches. Okay, right.

Peaches or, yeah, like a fruit salad. I'm actually going to be so impressed if you get one of these. This is this one I feel most confident about. Okay, this is can four. You need to lock in your guess. Peaches. Okay. Open it.

What is this? Canned tomatoes? Is it tomatoes and juice? I believe it's condensed tomato soup. Take a spoonful. Pretty good. It's like tomato sauce. Are you kidding?

Don't have another one. It's cold tomato soup. Okay, well, that's got to be like 80% sugar, right? And 20% tomatoes. I'd say so, yeah. That is pretty. Okay, well, that's got to be like 80% sugar, right? And 20% tomatoes. I would say so, yeah. That is pretty. Okay, save yourself the other one. Stop eating it.

All right, well. So you're nil for one. Okay, so that was nothing. There was nothing in that apart from soup. Yep. This is back to can three. That does sound thick. Now, this is, you yesterday said,

I can perk it to a spaghetti. I reckon beans. Beans? Okay it to a spaghetti. I reckon beans. Beans. Okay. Like baked beans. Baked beans. Okay. I was right, I was right.

I'll have a spoonful of this to celebrate. Well, you don't have to eat. It's got little sausages in it. Oh, so technically you were wrong. Oh, we splashed out. Didn't we? Yeah, we... Oh, man.

Spent that extra 50 cents. Is that Wode's? Yeah. No, no, no. That is an oak. Well, we're not going to do oak. We're not going to... I don't think oak does sausages, do they?

Who knows? Stupid oak. So this is thicker. I reckon this is... No, so I'm just... I'm being told that was the all-day breakfast in a can. What the hell is an all-day breakfast? What else is in here? I can only see sausages and beans.

Well, I think that's what an all-day breakfast is. I'm going to have one more to celebrate. I mean, I'm going to give you half a point for that. Because technically there is baked beans in there. Yeah. Okay, what's this one? This is fun. You thought ha ha if it gets it wrong is you have to eat cold soup

and you thought you had one over on me but you don't know how I grew up poor. Okay, now one of these tins is spaghetti. Okay, hold on. Is one thicker than the other? Oh, they sound the same. This one sounds slightly sloppy. Slightly less sloppy.

This one sounds sloppier. Right, okay. And I'm just trying to think, what could be... What could the other one be? This is spaghetti. Can one. Can one. Can one.

Okay, can one. He's called it. Hey! Da, da, da, da, da. A little bit to celebrate. I'm actually impressed. That's two. That is pretty good.

Hold it. Mmm. Name the brand. So what do you think is in that one? That's definitely a Waddy's spaghetti. In the last ten, what's in there? It's mmm, mmm, mmm. I'm puzzled.

It doesn't feel like it's moving enough to be beans because beans as individual units would move a little bit more. What is it then? It's not speaking. It's just... I've got no idea. What else comes in a can? Should I go beans?

I'm going to go beans. Okay, straight up baked beans. No, this is your all-day breakfast. Look at this chunky bit of yum, bit of sauce, bit of bacon. A little everyone to celebrate. Was that meatballs? No, it's just a bit of sausage. That's pretty good.

Okay, great. All of these have been pretty yum. You did pretty good. Two out of four. Yeah, two bunch of sausage. That's pretty good. Okay, great. All of these have been pretty young. You did pretty good. You did two out of four. Yeah, two out of four. Yeah. And had I known what was in my cupboard, I would have guessed that was the soup because it was the sloppiest.

Yeah, right. I was blind. Wow. You are pretty much an X-ray of tinned food. Yes, you could say. Play my theme song again. Guess what was in the can? Can was in the tin, tin.

I guess you could say he did, he did, he can, he could. All right, well, I'll just be over here eating four cans of complex carbohydrates if anyone needs me. Fleshwarner Megan, the podcast. ZM. Fleshwarner Megan's podcast. ZM. Flesh Warner Megan's Name Suppression. Welcome to Name Suppression. Your chance to win $200 cash and a pair of Panasonic's new S500 true wireless earbuds.

Now, these are industry-leading dual hybrid noise cancelling headphones. Megan, you can, having played yesterday's round of name suppression, you can attest to the... Very good. I could not hear a thing other than the music that was playing. Now, Vaughan, what are you pumping through Megan's headphones? You know what we should do? One morning is put Megan...

Maybe not, actually. I was going to say we should put her on a noisy aeroplane because that's the true test of noise cancelling, but of course. R.I.P. R.I.P. travelling? R.I.P. travelling. Or domestic travel. Oh, yeah, but that's not like 12 hours of a screaming child.

True, true. Going to Thailand, is it? The true test. Yeah. The true test. I'm sure they'd pass with flying colours. Just before I bring our caller in, Vaughn, music. Today we've got a selection for Megan from the

It's a helicopter. Angry loud music playlist that I just randomly pulled up. I believe this is some Marilyn Manson. Okay, Megan, you can't hear us? Huh? No, she can't. She can't. Alright. We're going to bring in our first caller.

Good morning, Hannah. Good morning. Alright, so how name suppression works is Megan has the Panasonic noise-cancelling headphones on. We're going to try to say your name to Megan. If she can guess it within 10 seconds, you win the prize. Okay, good luck. Okay. Megan, thumbs up ready. Okay, here we go.

Hannah. Hannah. Hannah. Hannah. Hannah. Hannah. Hannah. Hannah. What? Hannah. Hannah. Hannah. Hannah. Hannah.

Nana. Hannah. Nana. Okay, Nana. Of course, yes. Hannah. Nana's on the phone. Go again.

One more time. One more time. No, it's gone. Hannah. Too late. Too late. Oh, no. Hannah, I'm sorry.

Of course. Nana makes perfect sense. Yeah, all right. Oh, no. Hannah, I'm sorry. Of course. Nana makes perfect sense. Yeah, all right. I'm ready. Ten seconds. Jenna. Jenna. Jenna.

Jenna. Jenna. Jelly. Jelly. Jenna. Janine. Jenna. Gina.

Jenna. Jenna. Jenna. Yeah. Are we giving it to her? Yes. Jenna, congratulations. Gina, Nina, Jenna. Yeah. Are we giving it to her? Yes. On the buzzer. Jenna, congratulations. Gina, Nina, Jenna.

Gold, we got there. It was tight. You've won $200 cash and a pair of Panasonic's new S500 true wireless earbuds. Congratulations. I'm so excited about those. They've got IP times for water resistant and perfect for a sweaty gym session. Fantastic headphones. All yours. Perfect for a sweaty gym session. Fantastic headphones. All yours.

Congratulations. Thank you so much. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Oh, just before we get to don't get fletched started, side note, Megan, did you happen to see the cake that was given to Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern yesterday? Oh, for her 40th, the briefcase cake.

Yeah. What did you think of that? No, it was nice. Someone obviously went to a lot of trouble to make that. Yeah, someone cared. Yeah. Someone put in a lot of effort. I don't know how you'd cut it, though.

Like, it's beautiful. Yeah, I know. That's hard to think about. Fletch, what do you think about cakes that look like not cakes? You know what I think? Because I saw this post yesterday, and I thought that's so lovely that some, like, school kids made her some material folders for her briefings.

And then I'm like, it's a cake. And I'm sick of this happening online on Facebook. Every time I'm on Facebook, I see something. The other day, I saw an onion. I was like, why has someone posted a picture of an onion? Then a knife goes through it, it's a cake. The other day, a crock. I'm like, what's a crock doing in my feed?

And a knife goes through it, it's actually a chocolate cake that looks realistically like a crock. I'm like, what's a crock doing in my feed? And a knife goes through it. It's actually a chocolate cake that looks realistically like a crock. That's got to be better than a crock. The crock's a cake now. Absolutely. The roll of toilet paper or that one that's a dog. Have you seen the one that's like a bulldog? It's actually a cake.

A knife goes through it. I'm sick of it. That's traumatic. I haven't seen the bulldog cake one. I've seen that. The raw chicken breast. I liked that. I liked't seen the whole whole cake one. I've seen the raw chicken breast. I liked that. I like the ones where it looks like a different sort of food

and then it turns out to be a cake. I've seen a packet of Doritos in my feed. I'm like, yum, Doritos. They get sliced. It's a cake. A knife goes through it. Don't you then go, wow, that's amazing artwork. Someone created that out of icing.

I can appreciate it, Megan, but I'm sick of being tricked. I've had enough of being tricked. So you're angry, but it's not work. Someone created that out of icing. I can appreciate it, Megan, but I'm sick of being tricked. I've had enough of being tricked. So you're angry, but it's mostly because... I'm actually stupid. I'm feeling angry because I'm getting suckered into this. Because you're being fooled. And then feeling stupid. Like, there was one, it was like a cup of coffee or a cup of tea.

And they slice into it. I'm like, I got me again. But that's the fun of it. I'm sick of being fooled. Like, stop fooling me. I'm implied for a fool. Like, they should be labelled cake. This is a cake. So you're not fooled.

Would you then watch it still if it was like, this is a cake, we're about to slice into it. I still like it but I still feel a little bit of anxiousness when they cut it because I'm like, don't ruin it. But then it's also quite revealing to see it's a cake. But everything's a cake. Everything is a cake.

It got to the point, was it last week, where I just assumed anything I saw was a cake and I was waiting for the knife to cut through it. Like, did you see the breasts of chicken on a plate?

Yeah, the raw food. That was a cake. Yeah. There was a gherkin, an eggplant. They were cakes. An avocado. Is it all by the same artist

or are different people doing this? I think it's different people. There's no way one artist could be cranking out this many cakes, right? And there was one a wee while ago that was a hand. Somebody did a tattooed hand. And you think they're cutting into their hand. And I was like, don't cut your hand. It's a cake.

God, it just gets me. Yeah. So you're angry that they're so good at their chosen craft that they're fooling you every time. Yeah. You've got to live life expecting everything to be a cake. Yeah, basically. Yeah.

But that's also dangerous because if you cut into something that's not a cake, it could be a hand. It could be a hand, yeah. All right. Well, yeah, okay. Of all the things you can get upset about. I'm not angry they're making cakes. You like to, when a cake look like a cake. Yeah. Call me traditional. Of all the things you can get upset about I'm not angry they're making cakes I just It's getting

You like to when a cake look like a cake Yeah Call me traditional I just like a traditional cake Okay You're gonna get cancelled Flesh, Fawn and Megan The podcast

ZM This song here You got it? J.P. Sachs As a song Massive on TikTok Yep Um, you got it? J.P. Sachs. Is it a song massive on TikTok? Yep. Probably one of the songs that TikTok's sort of like forced to the forefront of music.

Well, apparently this song, more than any song of recent memory, is causing people to message their ex. Because of that lyric. If the world was ending, you'd come over, right? No. Imagine if world was ending, you'd come over, right? No. Imagine if someone the world's ending, you'd come over. Oh no, sweetheart. No, no, no. I know it didn't work out, but like, if we're

about to die, like, we could cuddle. So in my mind, there's an asteroid coming to Earth, and it's like, NASA's like, oh my God, it's not going to miss us. Like all those other ones. It's going to smash in and end the world in a month or a week. Yeah. Is that when you'd be like, hey, the world's ending,

you'll come over, right? Yeah. His phone rings, he picks it up and he's like, hello, and they're like, will you come over, right? He's like, sorry, which one's this? Very cheeky. Very cheeky. Yeah, but apparently this song is the song.

It's making people message their exes. Wow. So that's why this song should never be played in the drinking hours. Yeah. Because this teamed up with a bit of drinking to be. In the taxi when you're going home and you're vulnerable. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Is the world ending? My world's ending. I said, the world! Stop calling me at 3 a.m. I'm sleeping. But we want to know this morning what song reminds you of your ex. And when you hear it, they pop into your head. Yeah.

Yeah. Have you got one? Yeah, I do. It's an old song, understandably. Because you haven't dated for... So long. Since dinosaurs walked. Yeah, yeah, I remember.

Oh, my God, that's such a mum and dad thing to say. I remember I was on a date with a girl once and a Tyrannosaurus ate her. So that was obviously not great. That was heartbreaking. Yeah. Have you got the... I can put up your aux cord.

Do you have the song there? Yeah. Will we even know this song? I don't know. Oh, the scenes. What do they call those kids? The scenesters? Oh, the scenesters will know it.

The emos will know it from back in the day. Is this Dashboard Confessional? Yeah, it's Dashboard Confessional. Oh, my God. Hands down. It was 2003, guys. Who does this remind you of? It's just an old girlfriend.

Is it the girl that dumped you on Christmas Day? Nah. Oh, I'll tell you what song reminds me of her. I'll see if I can find it. Okay. What about Iris, the Goo Goo Dolls? Well, no, that reminds me of her, but that wasn't, this was that Zed song. That was a happier time.

This was that Zed song, Renegade Fighter, that was, that reminds me of her. I run a radio station. Yeah, that's what I said every time Rural Sports has a sale, I'm constantly reminded. Can I walk here beside you? Quite like emotional songs. Yeah, right. But not sort of like... Yeah, that one as well.

This one reminds you, we've heard the story before of a special time in the caravan, wasn't it? Yes, yes. 18th of November. Was it your first time? 18th of November. Yeah.

The year was... 2000. Okay. It's my brother's birthday. Late bloomer. It's my brother's birthday too, that's how I remember. Yeah, the year was 2000. Okay. Late bloomer. It's my brother's birthday. Late bloomer. It's my brother's birthday too, that's how I remember.

It was his birthday, but I was getting the present. She wasn't. These things happen. Okay, so we want to take your calls now and ask you what song always reminds you of an ex. Maybe it pops up on the radio every now and again and you're like... What song did you tell me just now? Lenny Kravitz. Which one? Wonder if I'll ever see you again.

Is that what it's called? I'm going to go Lenny Kravitz. It'll be one of those, are you going to go my way? No. Again? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This one, this one, this one. You are such a bogan, eh?

You are such a bogan. This is like a bogan love song. I wonder if I'll ever see you again. He's clutching your Holden duvet. Yeah. Crying yourself to sleep on your woodstock. No, I think it was a Playboy duvet, thank you very much. Was it?

Of course it was. And a Bacardi breezer beside the bed to drain your woodstock. No, I think it was a Playboy duvet, thank you very much. Was it? Of course it was. And a Bacardi Breezer beside the bed to drain your sorrows. And watermelon flavour. 0800 Giles at M. We want to take your calls now. You can text 9696. What song always reminds you of an ex? Talking about those songs that always remind you about your ex.

Some amazing texting calls coming in. You can keep them coming. 0800 DALES at M9696. Somebody said it was this song for them. Can you hit me

with a little bit of... What's this song? Tony Braxton, Unbreak My Heart. You get to the Unbreak My Heart bit. This is it. No, this is

the wrong version. You've got like a zhooshed up. So, the other version isn't on Spotify. Goodness me. Maybe we'll have to rely on our old friend radio to give us the Tony Braxton version that we want.

Is that what it's called? Unbreak my heart. Or is it Say You'll Love Me Again? Search Braxton. Tony. With an I. This is already, it's a lot of effort Me Again? Search Braxton. Tony. With an I. This is already, it's a lot of effort. We also know how the song goes.

Hold on. I found Tony Braxton. Yeah, it's called Unbreak My Heart. Well, it's not in here. It's not in the system. We can probably move on. No, this is, okay, this is the jazz up. I found it.

It's got a dash between the un and the break. Who does that? Tony bloody Braxton does, that's why. dash between the un and the break. Who does that? Tony bloody Braxton does. That's why. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, now we are. I'm going to fast forward to the love. Don't fast forward to love making music.

I'm going to fast forward to the. Say you love me again. I'll do this hurt that you caused when you walked out the door and walked out of my life. I feel like this is just Vaughn's excuse to sing. Yeah, this is actually pretty much a great moment to promote Bree and Clint's Fridayoke. What a big... They might not want the publicity. That's great. That's great.

But anyway, it says it wasn't even because it was their song with the person they broke up with. It was for some reason when they got dumped and they were crying in their room, their neighbours were playing it on loop. They could hear them crying. So now every time they hear it, they're taken back with the airworm from the neighbour's garage. All right, some amazing texts and calls coming through.

We'll get to more of those next. That song, JP Saxe's If The World Is Ending, it can move a rat, is apparently making people contact their ex in record numbers. Somebody actually messaged in saying, it is so weird you're talking about this. Yesterday I heard this song,

I messaged my ex and we've been talking again. So there you go, it happens. What's that line? If the world was ending, you're like, well maybe. And the same thing happened with lockdown, didn't it? It made people re-evaluate their relationships. Yeah. It happens. What's that line? If the world was ending, you're like, well, maybe. And the same thing happened with lockdown, didn't it? It made people re-evaluate their relationships. Yeah. And friendships.

Yeah. The songs hit us at the right moment too, because it feels a bit like that. How's this one? Someone messaged in, and oh, this is an absolute banger. They said every time I heard this song, it was the 1990s. What? They got broken up with. And this was the only cassette. Baby, I'll hurt you. What? They got broken up with.

And this was the only cassette single they had, so to like... It reminds them of their ex. So they would just put it in. That was a lot of the time as well in the 90s when your music choice was limited to what CDs or tapes you had. You just had to pick one off of the album. Kelsey, good morning.

Hi, good morning. Now, what song reminds you of your ex? Example, good morning. Now, what song reminds you of your ex? Example, Kick Start. Okay, Kelsey, I'd say this would be the weirdest. Why this song? Was it like his favourite song? Oh, no, there was a story about we went to Muriwai Beach for the first time. It was like, you know, high school love.

Oh. And his sister was driving us to the beach. Muriwai Beach for the first time. It was like, you know, high school love. And this sister was driving us to the beach and I'd never been there before and it was just a banger. It was playing the whole time. And so it kind of like followed me around like our whole like after our relationship and even now it comes on and I'm like, the world's getting started.

Oh, buddy. Here you go. You can, buddy. Here we go. You can sing it. Here you go. Here we go. Oh, Kelsey, sorry for bringing that back up. No, it's great. It kind of reminds you that, you know, you've got those old high school loves

and, you know, they're quite important in your life. Yeah, good way of looking at it. Thank you, Kelsey. Brian, what's the song that reminds you of an ex?

It's Neo's So Sick. Neo's So Sick. That's a great song. Oh. DJ Vaud with the heartbreaker classics. Because you're so sick of love songs. This one goes out to Brian and his broken heart. Broken as a 14-year-. Because you're so sick of love songs.

This one goes out to Brian, this broken heart. I broke it as a 14-year-old, you know? Yeah, I know. Okay, so was it a hard breakup? You got dumped? Yeah, I did, actually. It was a girl that I was seeing in a different city as well, so to get dumped by her was pretty traumatising for a 14-year-old.

Was it over-text dumping? It kind of was, yes, at the time. You know, you had to have top-ups and stuff. Yeah. Maybe she had to wait for the free text hour. Oh, my God, I can't dump until the free text hour. I don't want to pay for this. Yeah.

We're over 30 and we're having a laugh about things that kids will not understand. All right. Hey, Brian, thanks for your call, mate. Katie, what song reminds you of an ex? So Dirty Little Secret. All American Rejects. Oh, what a song.

Oh, yeah. And what, so did he break up with you, Katie? No, like we were just kind of dating on the down low. He never wanted to go public, which I thought was kind of weird, but I was young and I found out later because he had a girlfriend. You were his dirty little secret! I was his dirty secret!

Wait, so was this your song or it just so happened that... It reminded you. It reminded you. No, it just reminds me every time I sort of had that guilty... That is a real smack in the face if he was saying, this is our song and you are his dirty little secret. I mean, it's easy to remember. I can see why he did it, but...

Wow, that's crazy. Katie's like, no, you won't. Hey, Katie, thanks for your call. Sandra, what was your song, the song that reminds you of an ex? I've got two. One is Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol. Oh, God, this was huge, this song.

Indeed. This was a Grey's Anatomy. Yeah. Yeah, so that song reminds you of an ex? You got dumped? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Don't assume she was dumped. I kind of was. It was painful. Don't just be like, okay, you got dumped? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, and then... Don't assume she was dumped. I'm not so painful. Don't just be like, okay, you got dumped. I feel that if you have a song and you're all cut up about it, you're likely to have been dumped, whereas if it's your decision, you're like moving on. Okay, yeah, no, I'll give you that. And then my second one probably explains it fully

and too late to apologise. Oh, one recovery. It the too late to apologise. Oh, one republic. It's too late to apologise. You're too late. That's exactly how it goes. Sandra, thanks for your call. Some other text messages. This one's just come up.

This is an absolute bogan anthem here. I might have to fast forward a little bit. Hinda, lips of an angel. Oh, yuck. He was living with his ex, but he wasn't with her. He was just living with her. Okay. I want to fully play me for.

You're still with her. She's just a bit on the side. There's somebody driving their husband to work today. She's about to drum him off of the bloody panel beaters. She's like, it's our bloody song trip. Don't get me started, Sarah. You know, I still think you've got lips of an angel. Give us a smooch.

I'll give you more than a smooch, love. That's a terrible song. It's a Bogan love song. It's a Bogan love song. How do you say love. That's a terrible song. It's a Bogan love song. It's a Bogan love song. How do you say it? It's a terrible song. Somebody else had some yellow card in the mix. I don't know. I'm going to get the yellow card. Get your bloody yellow card up. Yellow

card. Yellow card. This one. Only one. Oh, yeah. I wonder if their parents ungrounded them. Somewhere right now, yellow card is still grounded. Oh, okay. And somebody asked, Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie. Oh, yeah.

That was like, that was Pergis. Fergie's, you know, real foray into it. Bit of heartbreak. That was just if you had a bad day at school every day. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, big girls do cry. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. Fleshforn and Megan's Radio Tinder. Well, it's like Tinder, but it's on the radio. In real life. Yes. After a three-month stint in Singletown, she's ready to watch some rugby, have a drink and go laugh. Me too.

You could be 18 or 80. She's casting a wide net. But if you're a guy or a girl that's ready for adventures, she could be the one for you. Meet Laura. Yay, Laura! Good morning! A three-month

single stint. So what? Pre or post lockdown? In lockdown. During lockdown? Yeah. You broke up in lockdown? Yeah. Over Zoom? On the phone. Should have gone Zoom. Should have gone professional.

Can we ask, did you do the breaking up? It was kind of mutual. He's super lovely, but, you know, just not making each other happy. So, you know, time to move on. Okay, right. So just in your bio there, a couple of things. Casting the net wide. Yeah, not that wide. Move on. Okay, right. So just in your bio there, a couple of things. Casting the net wide. Yeah, not that wide.

Not 80. Not 80. Did we misread that when you said casting the net wide? I think I just said age is nothing but a number, but 80 is a pretty big number. But there's that thing. Is it big in Florida? No, what do they call them?

Like black widows? Yeah, and they hook up with rich old dudes before they die. They get their will. Oh, yeah, nah. I'm not about that life, bud. Oh, neither. I never flirted with you. Neither.

That's why I didn't know about it. You know what? I'm old school. I'll sleep with old men for no money. That's what people say about me. Yeah, right. Okay. I'm the daddy long legs.

We're making spider analogies. And guy or girl? Yeah, right. Okay. I'm the daddy long legs. We're making spider analogies. And guy or girl? Yeah, yeah. I'm pretty picky, but gender's just not one of the things I'm picky about. So how old are you? I'm 25. And what would be your, do you have like a limit age-wise? Yeah, like if you're born in 2000 or later, please don't.

I can't. Sorry. Okay, so what are kind of some of the things that you're into? Any hobbies? Sports? I love reading and I love rugby. I love going to the rugby and watching the game. If you don't support the Chiefs, also

don't bother. I'm sorry. Deal breaker. This season you're really cutting your numbers back. Yeah, I know. But I'm loyal. Real loyal to a fault. Loyal cheese. What kind of reading are you into? What do you read?

Real nerdy books like The Witcher, Game of Thrones, all that sort of weird stuff. What did we say they're nerdy? Breaking through into the mainstream. Yeah, they are mainstream. But, yeah. That side of things. Yeah, the fantasy side of stuff.

Cool. So what are you looking for in a partner apart from like a chief supporter? Just someone to, you know, have a bit of fun. I want to have fun. It's not like I'm wanting to test drive all the cars and then walk home. Right, okay. But yeah, just want to, you know, have a bit of fun. Someone who's keen to go on adventures and just chill.

Would you be open to someone who's not a chief supporter? I just feel like you'd be cutting off a lot of people listening right now. Or what if they're just like not into rugby and you can mould them into a chief supporter? Yeah, if they're not into rugby, that's cool. But if you support the Blues or something, it's not going to happen. Deal breaker. Right, okay. Fleetbourne and Megan's Radio Tinder.

And Laura is with us in studio this morning to play Radio Tinder and we have girls and guys lined up. Do you have a preference for one more than the other or are you just straight down the middle? I'm just straight down the middle. Yeah, no preference. Love the people.

It's cool. Yeah, love the people. Somebody messaged in saying, too bad I'm a heterosexual female. You sound like a real catch. That's obviously from a fellow Chiefs supporter who doesn't mind reading a little bit of fantasy. Never say never.

Good luck out there, girlfriend. Never say never. Never say never. Yeah. All right, well, we have our callers ready to go. Chris, good morning. Morning, guys. How are you?

Good, good, Chris. Now, Laura, if you will, ask some questions and then decide if you'll swipe left or right. Hey, Chris, how's it going? Hey, good, and you, Laura? Yeah, I'm good, thanks. Real important question. If you could be a superhero, what one would it be? I kind of dig Batman.

Oh, Batman. Okay. Yep, yep, yep. I dig it, I dig Batman. Oh, Batman. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I dig it. I dig it. Good answer. And another super important question. If you had a billion dollars, what would you do with it?

Oh, that's a billion dollars. I'd probably obviously settle myself first with everything I need and invest quite a bit and probably help who I can under the right conditions. settle myself first with everything I need, and invest quite a bit, and probably help who I can under the right conditions. All the help got you over the line there, Chris. I think we're going to get answers. Megan's like, shopping, shopping, shopping. But guys, he's Batman.

He can't tell you what he's really going to do with his billions. Yeah, that's true. He's going to get a new Batmobile. Shh, new Batmobile she liked the batman i liked the batman yeah like the batman yeah um airton joins us good morning airton how we doing good good hey mate how's it going yeah really good thanks still yeah good thanks um real big question you obviously know I'm a rugby fan, so if you had $1,000, what would be your ideal first date to take me on? Probably going to have to be a Chiefs-Blues game.

Ooh, OK. I feel like that'd be a bit of a rivalry for you. Yeah, yeah. Nice meal. And then probably a relaxing spa or something. Oh, yeah, yeah, that sounds all right. A relaxing spa? Where?

A relaxing spa. That sounds delightful. That sounds fine. I'm down. I'm a relaxing spa. Can we just skip the rugby and go straight to the relaxing spa? Are we talking, were you doing like a spa treatment, like a relaxing spa treatment,

or are you talking like the bubbly, bubbly pool? Oh, we could go all out and do the whole treatment. Yeah, good, okay, good. Because they have the bubbly pool spa as well, don't they? They can do, yeah. They can do, yeah. Yeah, and you've got $1,000. You may as well splurge, really.

Yeah, but to be honest, by the time you've gone to the rugby, half of that's gone on hot chips and little chardonnays and plastic glasses. No, they're not going to be. Yeah, but they've been there for that nice meal, remember? So presumably you ate enough there to tide you over. Yeah. Okay, one more question. Can you describe yourself in three words? Jumorous, adventurous, and intelligent.

Ooh. That's a good trifecta. Yeah, that's a real good trifecta. Okay, which way are we going there? Oh, we'll go with the up, shall we? God, okay. All right, James, good morning. James. Oh, it might have dropped out. We'll go to Romy. R James, good morning. James.

Oh, it might have dropped out. We'll go to Romy. Romy, good morning. Good morning, how are you? Good, good. Oh, hi, Romy. How are you? I'm great, thank you.

Oh, that's good. Okay, question for you. What was the last show you binged watched? Oh, okay. It would have been Good Girls on Netflix. Oh. Is that the drug-snuggling mum? Yeah.

Is there a new season coming out? You guys can catch up and watch it together. Yeah, that could be a good show to introduce me to. Mm-hmm. Okay, and Romy, do you watch rugby at all? Oh, yeah, you know, I love the Chiefs. Wow, that was brilliant. I love that Chief. I don't watch rugby, but I'm totally open to becoming a Chiefs supporter.

Oh, good. How are we feeling there? Which way are we swiping? We may as well go up. Way to make Gail feel good about herself. That's a super like an up. Yeah, super like. Okay, we'll push that. All right, Romy. Fantastic weight there.

Let's go to Tiffany. Tiffany, good morning. Good morning. Hey, Tiffany. How are you? I'm swell. I'm feeling blessed and grateful. Oh, okay. Okay, question for you Tiffany, what is your ideal Sunday?

My ideal Sunday would probably have to be taking a walk with my dog and then going home and doing some painting and maybe some yoga. Yeah. You sound so lovely, but that sounds real boring to me. I'm so sorry. It's been help. It's been help. I paint like really weird things. I do like really weird feminist drawings. So, I mean, I'm not just like sitting and painting

like Bob Ross paintings. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's definitely the picture I got on my computer. Vaginas with teeth in them, so, you know. Okay. Whoa! I need to see these. Oh, okay. Yeah, they're definitely the picture I got on my computer. Vaginas with teeth in them, so, you know. Okay. Whoa! I need to see these. Okay, okay.

You paint vaginas with teeth in them? Yeah, vaginas with teeth in them, old men simping and dressed as dogs. You know, just things like, you know, just very general things like that, yeah.

Real general. She draws vaginas with teeth and then she calms herself by doing some yoga. Wow, okay. Just things like, you know, just very general things like that. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts.

Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts.

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Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts.

Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts.

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Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts.

Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real acts. Real pictures. I know. Please send us photos of your pictures, Tiffany. We need to see those, just purely to see how those go. James, good morning. Welcome to Radio Tinder.

Oh, good morning. How's it going? Good, James. Good. Hey, James. How are you? Yeah, good, thanks. How about yourself?

Yeah, good. Question for you. What kind of car do you drive? I've got a little Toyota Auris. It's a proper little nana car. A nana car. I love that. It's a proper little nana car. A nana car. Love that. It's a fuel economy.

Yeah, and that's important. Fuel economy, okay. That's real important. Are you a car chick? Do you like cars? Nah, I just wanted to know. To know. I like that he didn't lie, though.

He wasn't ashamed of it. Yeah. He wasn't ashamed of it. Good on you, mate. Be confident in your nana car. Well, I know, honestly. I normally bike everywhere as well, so it's just like... Do you?

Just have a little run around and I'll be all right. Are you like environmentally conscious? Yeah, pretty much. I've started doing the whole vegetarian thing to an extent. Oh, well, I'm vegan, so maybe I can just convert you the whole way. Yeah, you can try, but... I don't know about that. But bacon, yeah. But bacon, yeah. Yeah, you can cry, but I don't know about that. But bacon, yeah. Fair, fair, fair. Okay,

and then a real deep question for you. Are you a feminist? Oh, yeah, I guess so, but I mean like... Yeah, that's a no, I'm sorry, that was a slow answer. Depends how militantly feminist you mean. Militantly feminist. James. You're getting a thumbs down. You're getting a thumbs down. Sorry, mate. You should have tapped out. You should have just left it in the car.

James, thanks for playing Radio Tinder. AJ, our last match today for Radio Tinder. Good morning. Oh, g'day, mate. How's it going? Good, mate, good. All right, Laura. G'day, mate.

How are you? Yeah, not too bad, not too bad. Man, you sound real chill. Do you surf or something? No, but I'm from the lovely Papamoa area, so... Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, sounds good, sounds good. So, um...

What do you do on a Friday night? On a Friday night? Depending if I'm on call for fire service or not, but if I'm on call, it's pretty boring. Wait, are you a fireman? Yeah. Okay, no more questions. Thumbs up.

We literally both just sat up in our seat. What? Wow, okay. Well, make sure you pack the uniform for that date there, AJ. Fantastic. There we go. Radio Tindamora. You did well. You did well pack the uniform for that date there, AJ. Fantastic. There we go, Radio Tinder Laura. You did well. You did well.

Quite a few swipes there. Yeah. Well, we'll put you in touch with those people. Yeah, thanks. This was more successful than normal Tinder, so. Okay, great. That's a ringing endorsement. It is.

It's far more brutal, though, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, a lot more brutal. Bye. Fleshforn and Megan, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, a lot more brutal. Bye. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day.

Day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day could win you $500. You've just got to listen to the fact of the day. Then be listening to ZM at 12 o'clock with Georgia, 4 o'clock this afternoon with Brian Klein. Answer a question about today's fact of the day. Oh, and they'll be different questions. Yes.

Don't you think you're getting away with that, champ? To win that cash, all thanks to Save My Bacon, a safe place to borrow money online. Yes, today's fact of the day is on the island of Marajo. Now, I've been watching some Spanish shows, but I am aware in Brazil they speak Portuguese. But the J isn't a J. It's where jalapeno is a jalapeno.

Yeah, right. Jalapeno, not a jalapeno. But then different places say the Js differently too, yeah. Well, it is Marajo. Okay. Should we go with Marahó? Sure. It's a large island in Brazil. It's the size of Switzerland.

Okay. It's an island only because it's, well, it's got the sea on one side, but it's got the Amazon River around it and another river. So technically... It's an island. It's an island.

It didn't used to be an island, but apparently the sediment brought out by the Amazon slowly built up and then things got on top of that and over thousands of years, what they call a delta island. Right. That's a small geography lesson. A delta island.

It's a fact of the day, but it's surrounded by water, many boggy wetlands around, and it is on that island that the military police ride water buffalo as their chosen form of police transport. Oh, my God. Look at those water buffalo.

They're humongous. How fast do they go? So here's why. Well, on the land, they can clobber along like a cow. They can move like a cow. Like, you know, a cow can move when it wants to or a bull. But these are significantly more docile than, like, wild bulls. The reason why in the first place is because these water buffalo

are so quick through water, bogs, and marshes, if someone was on the run from the police, if they were on a horse, they'd get there, and the horse would go in and freak out and not be able to run. If they were on motorbikes or cars, they wouldn't be able to. Of course, the swamp craft that you could whip around on might go well on the swamp, but they don't go well on the streets. They found the water buffalo could do both.

So they could chase down a criminal if they hit the water. They'd be able to continue the chase on these water buffalo as that is their territory. Imagine seeing that. That'd be pretty cool. Imagine running and being like, I got away with it, and looking behind and just saying, and those big horns of a water buffalo coming towards you.

Do they have little lights on them? Yeah, on the end of each horn. They don't have sirens, they have horns. Yeah. Yeah, but they can chase you into the wetlands. Right, okay. They're also a really important creature for the area due to the fact that it's so wet,

sort of ordinary farming doesn't work so well There's 450,000 domesticated and feral water buffalo In the island of Marajo And they're kind of like the main source They get milk from them They get hides from them They get meat from them They use them to like pull plows and everything

But the police also ride them In case there is a daring escape into the water. Do they still have police cars? Yeah. Oh. Right. It's not 100% water, but I was going to say, like, it's 2020. Come on.

Yeah. No, they've got cars. They've got cars as well. But if they're doing, like, Bobby is on the beat. Yeah. Like here in New Zealand, you might see them on bikes every now and then. You know, the Octagon and Dunedin, they'd jump on a mountain bike, wouldn't they?

Yeah. So they could chase David Clark up to that mountain biking track and be like, hey, we're on lockdown, champ. Yeah. Get home again. So today's fact of the day is on the Brazilian island of Marahor, a military police on the beat ride water buffalo. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day

Alright Megan, the latest ZM's Fletch Warner Megan The podcast Are you guys ready for a bit of this? This TV show so unresolved. And because this is an unsolved... That's what it promises.

This is an unsolved mystery. In your house. Yeah, this is only 30 seconds long. What do you want me to do at the end of this TV theme song? Just click it back to the start. I can't keep doing that every 30 seconds.

Because I've got to give my all to telling this story. I'll just bring in another music lead. You're fine. It's got five seconds left. And fade down, bring up the end. Not smooth from you. Not smooth from you.

Not smooth from you. Sorry. So for my birthday in February, remember February? Yep. Oh, and a lifetime ago. Forever ago, but also yesterday. For my birthday, one of my presents were, was

some custom socks. Custom socks. I shall now remove my boot and show you my socks. Wow. I mean, you knew that you were going to talk about this. Guys, shush. It's the pacing of a good story. Okay. It's the pacing of a good story.

Okay. It's faded a little bit, but as you can see, that is my cow Humphrey. Oh, yeah, it is. I thought it was my Humphrey sock. I thought it was a, what are those cute things in the trees that don't move? Orangutans. No. Sloth.

I thought it was a sloth. Willie's kind of got a slothy orangutan vibe to him. Yeah. This is Humphrey, my cow. Just again, side note, if I'd got Leo socks, you would absolutely just. Yeah, we would have. Yeah, we definitely would. Okay, good.

We can all agree. You may have noticed he's a double standard. I do it, it's cute, you do it, it's sick, Nick. Yeah, okay. Good. Like, just, I think it was yesterday, I put my arms around my wife and gave her a kiss in public. I was like, man, if I saw Megan do this, I'd be on her.

No, I'm just happy you can recognize the double standards. Yeah, yeah. No, no, it's definitely recognized. Okay. So I received two pairs of custom socks. This pair featuring Humphrey. Yeah. And one other pair featuring Hermione.

So I got two pairs of cow socks. Okay. Terrible quality, by the way. They're very faded. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know what? They look terrible, but they're actually not a bad sock. Like, you know, like they don't cause your foot to sweat unduly or, you know.

They've lasted all right. They've faded a little bit, but they've been worn a lot. So as I slip my boot back on, at the weekend, I was doing my laundry, and I went to put away my Humphrey socks and I found one Humphrey sock. Now you may remember I only got one pair of Humphrey socks. That in total would equal how many socks? Two socks. Two socks, correct.

And there was another two socks with Hermione on the socks. Forget the Hermione socks for now. Do the Hermione socks look very different to the Humphrey socks? Very different. Okay. This is Humphrey socks? Very different. This is Humphrey's tiled and tight. Whereas on the Hermione socks, there's a gap between Hermione's. It's a tightly packed Humphrey

sock. So I get to and I find one Humphrey sock. I'm like, ah, dammit, I've lost the other Humphrey sock. So I go to search in where I keep my socks for my other Humphrey sock. I get there, I find the pair of Humphrey socks already there. And now I have an extra Humphrey sock.

Where the f*** did this come from? Humphrey socks had a child. I've not lost a sock. I've gained a sock. But you only ever ordered two pairs of socks. I only ever got one pair of Humphrey socks. And for months I've been wearing them. And then I go to put away my rogue Humphrey sock.

Yep. The pair of Humphrey socks is already there. Well, were there two in the packet? There was not, because if, unless for every time I've pulled on that sock, I've been pulling on two socks at once, and they put in three socks in the original pack. Because then I panic. I think I'm losing my mind.

Yeah. So I individually interviewed my family. Yeah. I say, Shade, I was just like, well, the kids aren't here.

Did you put them into a little room and start the tape recorder and you're like, all right, Vaughan Smith here. A lamp in their face. I was like,

when you bought me those Humphrey and Hermione socks, correct me, there weren't two pairs of Humphrey socks and one pair of Hermione socks. Shade's like, no, no, no, there was one of Humphrey socks and one pair of Hermione socks. Shardie's like, no, no, no. There was one pair of Humphrey and one pair of Hermione.

And I said, well, explain this. I wrote three socks. And she's like, what? I'm like, where did this other sock come from? You didn't order another pair since. No. I was like, this is exactly the same. They would have needed the template of the original sock to create the

identical third sock. You must have had one inside the same. They would have needed the template of the original sock to create the identical third sock. You must have had one inside the other. You must have. So for every time I put on these socks, which has been like months, because what are we out here enjoying? You would have noticed if you were double-socking. If I was double-socking, I totally would have,

because it would have felt different to pulling on the other sock, which is still a single sock. I would have been like, these socks feel different. Investigate. Where did the third sock come from? This actually deserves to be on Unsolved Mysteries. And was the third sock as worn as the other two socks? Yes. Ooh.

Yeah, this does sound like the next episode of Unsolved Mysteries. Where did the third sock come from? And are you going to find a fourth sock? Imagine if I do. And where did that come could it be the guy living in your ceiling space it also ordered the pier also and he dropped it out and he said oh my cover's blown and he's watching now i only have one the humphrey sock yeah now i'm gonna go i have to walk around sock with my one i can't explain all the years of

losing socks yeah which i've found out the dog's been snatching off the line and bearing in the garden. Wow. I was pulling a weed up and I pulled it up and a sock came with it. I was like, how did the sock get in there? That's actually how socks are made. There's only one explanation. They grow.

Yeah, they grow socks. The roots of weeds are socks. Grow socks, yeah. So I've gained a sock. I'm a sock up and I cannot explain it for the life of me. And Sade was like, I'll find it. And she found the email because she ordered them online, and it was one pair of each socks.

They must have slipped one in double socked accidentally. And so you're saying it's just been playing roundabouts because I'm pretty good with my socks. I notice when there's a rogue sock. And when you put them away, you bunch them in together? Always, always bunch them in together. Even when I'm hanging them on the And when you put them away, you bunch them in together? Always bunch them in together. That's messed up. Even when I'm hanging them on the line,

I hang them side by side. Because when I'm hanging them off the line, I bunch them in before I put them in the basket. And you've never hung three Humphrey socks? Oh my God,

that's a mystery. That pair of socks had a sock baby. That's the only explanation. Well, shit. I don't know. If you find a fourth sock, please do. We're perplexed. Man, that is messing with me. I don't know, yeah. If you find a fourth sock, yeah, please do.

We're perplexed. Man, that is messing with me. I know. Unless this is your family's plan to make you lose your mind. Oh, my God. They're going to put me in a institution. Yeah, I mean, you'll be the youngest person in a home by a long time. Yeah, but I've always said it would be great because everyone's quiet.

There's pudding every night. Early bed. They all watch The Chase. Yeah. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. Early bed. They all watch The Chase. We've bucked a 25 year trend. So for 25 years, marriage breakups,

divorce, has been in decline. Remember, we always talk about that, because people used to say half of marriage has been in divorce, but it's actually reduced a lot in the past 25 years. But mostly because in the last 25 years, people have stopped getting married for the sake of it, haven't they? But I think they still count the marriages.

Oh, you're pregnant, you best get married before anybody notices. But they're still counting the percent of divorces. So that's gone down. But apparently in the year, and this doesn't include lockdown. It doesn't include coronavirus. Okay. Divorce numbers have skyrocketed in the year prior to COVID-19. Really?

So there was a 23% increase in the number of finalised divorces in the 12 months before lockdown. So remember early on when we were locking down and China had locked down for a while, their divorce rates spiked. Because they expected, yeah, after lockdown here that there would be, and there has been like a lot of separations and stuff. How long do you reckon it's going to take to get the stats?

I can't wait. I can't wait. I just had a news alert check to make sure it hasn't come out yet. It hasn't. But they said they expected it to be on the rise. Because it's stats about people's misery. We just can't wait to get its eyes on them.

I don't know, I just think socially, I just think it would be so fascinating to see. Because I think lockdown made people either stronger or realise that they didn't want to spend the rest of their life with this one person. Yeah, and it's not, I mean, divorce doesn't have to be misery. You could be miserable, and that's how

you, you know, get out of it and you decide, okay, well no, we might be happier apart. But yeah, this is one of the biggest surge in divorces and marriage separations since the mid 19th century. But that was pre-lockdown these stats. Wow, okay. So there are a few groups that are worried that the solemn vow between a woman and a man has now been completely eroded. Well, first of all, it's not only between a woman and a man has now been completely eroded. Well, first of all, it's not only between a woman and a man. It can be between men and men and women and women and non-binary.

So that's already outdated. People who say things like the thing between a man and a woman don't generally recognise that between a woman and a woman and a man and a man. Yeah. And if we change up the meaning of marriage, it is in danger of meaning nothing at all. No wonder divorce is on the up. Now, we should change the meaning of marriage to, like, eating heaps.

Because then I would be married three times a day, all very successful, and I would do it again tomorrow. But it didn't end in divorce. It ended in lifelong satisfaction. And chicken wings. He married some chicken wings on Tuesday night. He's very, very happy.