ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 28th May 2020

Episode Date: May 27, 2020

Guy Montgomery  Nanana'aoke   Do you have something Unique in your house?  Local Gems for the Long Weekend  How to tell if your date is going to be clingy afSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's all thanks to McDonald's. Your Macca's favourites are back at drive-thru and McDelivery. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Are you wearing like a blazer jacket? It's a coat. A blazer coat. Yeah. Yeah, it looks real comfy and warm.

It looks warm. It looks warm, but it also looks formal, a coat. Yeah. Yeah, it looks real comfy. Thanks. And warm. Looks warm. Looks warm. But it also looks formal, but warm. Yeah. Mmm. It's good, I like it. But it's kind of like a cross between is it okay to wear inside or is someone going to be like, can I take your coat for you?

Yeah. But I mean, you're not going to say that. No, I'm not going to say that. We don't have a coat rack. Yeah. I always find it weird in modern times that someone would offer to take your coat for you. I'm always like, where are you taking it to? And then I might forget to take it.

Exactly, I'll walk away without it. But they don't want you hanging in there or on the back of a chair. Messing up their restaurant or something. That's why you should wear a hoodie. Let's see them get that off you. Because that's way classier, eh? Yeah, 100%.

Arms up. It's wheel time. All your mum's pulling your hoodie off and it pulled your mouth shut. And then before you know it, your puku's out at a restaurant. Yeah. And you can't get the hoodie down. How good is a puku out when you're taking a shirt off? I bloody love that.

Coming up on the show, actually, just quickly, tomorrow, the Long Weekend Group Tote. Let's not forget that. Oh, yeah. Long Weekend, baby. That's right. Monday, Queen's birthday. Long Weekend.

Fantastic. Coming up on the show, the top six. What are you looking at me for? I can't remember what we said. What was it that we were going to do? Megan was like, you can't, because I want to do the top six things Judith Collins should be demonised for above her ethnicity.

I don't know if you've heard, but Judith Collins is sick of being demonised for being white. Poor old darling. Certainly it's tough being white, isn't it? I'm not defending that. I'm just saying don't. I was going to say, number one, her eyebrows. I said you can't do that. That's mean.

No, you were going to do the top six. Oh, regrettable 2020 tattoos. That's mean. No, you were going to do the top six 2020 tattoos. Oh, regrettable 2020 tattoos. That's right. Because the couple got married. Well, they were going to get married just before COVID and so they got matching tattoos with the date of their wedding. But then they couldn't get married on that date. Could they just do something

else special on that day? Like a special dinner and be like, haha. Well, it's past, I think. A special dinner? I don't know, to commemor on that day, like a special dinner and be like, ha ha. Well, it's past, I think. A special dinner. I don't know, to commemorate that day. That day, that taco Tuesday. We splashed out, we had pork and fish. So the top six coming up. The top six are regrettable 2020 tattoos.

Also next on the show, how hotel life, when we go away and stay in hotels, how that's changing with COVID life. I didn't even think about that. Like now when you walk in and maybe it looks like it hasn't been cleaned properly, you're not going to just be like, it's just for a one night, we'll be all right, eh? I'll be like, get up here. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. I found an article about changes in the hotel industry post-COVID.

Because, you know, we're all talking about getting out and, you know. Exploring our beautiful country. Yeah. Yeah. But hotels and things that we're used to normally experience will be changing from the looks of things. Just even think about hotels because someone's staying in there and like, I don't know, coughing in that room and all that kind of doing whatever. And then they come in when they check out and they change the sheets, give it a vac, maybe a spray and wipe.

And then you go in. And then you go in. Exactly. But yeah, a lot of hotels and that is one of the things that is changing, a lot of emphasis on cleanliness. And a lot of the big hotel chains bringing in things like Clean Stay and the All Safe Program where they tout the extra cleaning using hospital-grade kind of disinfectants, UV cleaning, sprays, all of that kind of thing.

Like the people that clean up on CSI. Yes. It's a horrendous crime and they call in the cleaners. Crime scene cleaners. Yeah. Yeah, so it'll be like that. They'll go hard on that. Apparently, a lot of self-serving, contactless check-in and room key technology,

which was already kind of floated around. In some hotels, you can have an app and check into it. You know, that was your room key. But they reckon that's going to become the norm over, you know, the coming years. Wow. Imagine that, no lining up to check in. Yeah. And you just go straight to your room.

I mean, I'm guessing there'll still be a person if you want. Also changes to like hotel life, like wearing masks. You might have to wear masks in public areas, depending on where your hotel is. Not in New Zealand. I wouldn't imagine in New Zealand, no. And what about getting in like lifts and stuff? Well, that's another thing, spacing changes.

Yeah, there'll be rules for lifts, like there are in a lot of workplace buildings now. But also they reckon that there might not be as many hotel beds. But then what's the difference between staying next to someone in a room? There's walls, isn't there? Yeah, and if you're already in the room with them. Well, yeah, you're in their bubble. They're in your bubble, yeah.

But they reckon that hotels might become more expensive because of these spacing changes. Because I was going to say, that's a hell of a cost to make all these changes, even just to do the hospital-grade cleans on every room. Well, I reckon if you're going away, some hotels might start minimum stay requirements to make up for lost revenue. So if you're going away for a weekend, you might have to at least stay two days or three days.

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, minimum stay. To make up. Bye-bye buffets. You know the free, if you've ever stayed in a hotel, you get free. Forever? Sometimes. Forever? Sometimes are a bit questionable, to be honest.

They are, but then sometimes you go to a, you know, it's mostly when you go to a place like Southeast Asia, it's super cheap and there's just, the buffets are amazing. And like breakfast, that's like what most hotels do. You go there and. Well, yeah, and you just think about all the people that are breathing on that. Or maybe because, you know, I was just thinking there's the sneeze guard, but then there's the people with the hands.

Maybe you walk under a machine and it'll say eggs and you press a button and it'll just go and put eggs on your plate. And then like bacon, it goes like a vending machine buffet. Yeah, right. Or like a service. Someone is behind a screen and you go, I want that, and they serve it up for you. Yeah, and you go, more, more, more, more, more, more, more.

I reckon another thing that's going to change will be reservations. More people are going to book direct with hotels because people have been stung using websites like Expedia and booking websites. Oh, yeah, right. Because I got stung like that. And then you ring Expedia and they're like, oh, now call the airline. And the airline's like, no, you booked this on Expedia and booking websites. Oh, yeah, right. Because I got stung like that. And then you ring Expedia and they're like, oh, no, call the airline.

And the airline's like, no, you booked this on Expedia. Call them. And so you just give up because you're just like, I'm never getting money back. You son of a gun. So a lot of people are going to book with hotel websites because they will offer, like, free cancellation. But then I've been found looking around New Zealand, there's an option for free cancellation on websites like Expedia and Trivago and stuff. So if you click that, then you can cancel right up until the day before. So if things flare up or you can't

make it, you just cancel. Yeah. What about Airbnbs? Are they just going to have to do an intense clean-up? I think, yeah, you're just going to have to trust that they do, yeah. It would be, what I'm going to say now, good time to start a cleaning business. Or what you don't want to say, I'm not male business secret. In case everyone jumps on board, you're cleaning. Oh my God, I heard this guy talk on the radio today.

He said, good time to start a cleaning business. Huh. Because no one out there start a cleaning business. Huh. Because no one out there has a cleaning business. What's your cleaning business called? Vaughan's Valets. Vaughan's Valets, yeah. Top to bottom.

That doesn't sound like a cleaning business. That sounds like a gay school service. Both. But you know they'll be clean. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

A woman has shared a picture of the lunch she made her husband. He's a builder and she makes her husband's lunch every day. It's got a couple of white bread sammies, pretty cute little compartments with saveloys, like chopped up into little. It sounds super healthy though, doesn't it? No, it doesn't.

White bread and overly processed meat. Savalois and then like little cheese cubes and crackers. So he can have like cheese and crackers. But he does get

like a banana, apple, orange and a muesli bar as well. Crikey, dicks. And a Gatorade and a big thing of water. So she packs his lunch every day.

And she put it on a Budget Friendly Meals Australia Facebook group being like, this saves us so much money. She got absolutely torn to shreds, didn't she? Because when I saw that she got torn to shreds, I was like, is it over the healthiness of the lunch?

Is it because it's... It's high in sugar, a little bit of sugar in that. But then I was like, well, it's his diet. Yeah, exactly. And he's building, so he's obviously doing some exercise. Needs the energy. Yeah.

I was like, well, he can eat what he wants. But it's not about that. It's everyone's annoyed at her for packing her husband's lunch. So some of the comments include, do we have to feed them during the day now too? That's just funnier than it is. So many comments about being like, pack his own bloody lunch.

I get it, but she wants to. She wants to. He's not making her. As long as it's her choice and he's not being like, make my lunch, then who cares? She wants to do it. It's probably this or he goes to the bakery down the road and spends 20 bucks, 25

bucks a day. And she writes little notes on the click-clack containers. This one here says, the good things in life are better with you. The good thing in life Are better with you The good things in life Are better with you

And I love her He would get mercilessly Oh man He'd get mocked at the website Mocked surely I thought it was pretty cute It looks like It could be rubbed off

Because she writes different ones On each day So he could read it And then rub it off Rub it off So the lads don't see I love you too But the admins of this page

Had to step in and be like, no more comments about whether you disagree or agree with packing your significant other's lunch, each to their own. Please don't comment on how they choose to run their household. Which is exactly right. Great life advice, really. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. Well, this was most unexpected news yesterday. They found two missing trampers outside of Nelson. 18 days? 18 days, yes. That is nuts. Because... May 9th.

It has been so cold. So cold. It has been, yes. And they were in the bush. Slash. They were, yes. Some alpine-ish areas. Well, just at that latitude.

Yeah. You know? Very cold nights. Yeah. I mean, I'm guessing they had sleeping bags with them. And they saw them with a bit of smoke too, so they must have had a fire. Yeah, so they got some details out of them. Rescuers said that they were a lot chattier than they expected.

Because I guess that 18 days, they just thought, oh, these people are going to be shells of their former selves. Yeah. But no, apparently a little bit more chatty than they expected. A chef and a kayak guide. And they were spotted when one of the search helicopters saw smoke and went down and saw the two waving, and they sent in rescuers, and that is where they found them.

Wow. They set off. Apparently, they told somebody, one of the last people that they saw, that they were heading up river and they had four to six days food. Right. So then, apparently, they got lost

within the first few days. Yep. Because of fog. Then the male in the group, Dion, he hurt his ankle and then Jess hurt her back in a fall. because of fog. Then the male in the group, Dion, he hurt his ankle. And then Jess hurt her back in a fall. So then they found a source of water and apparently just knuckled down.

Yeah, well, that's the advice. You stay. You stay in the one spot. Stay where you are. Yeah. How would you go? I feel like they were like, I've never been into the area,

but like they were in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, it was pretty rugged. Yeah. How would you guys go? Let's put ourselves in this situation. We've got four to six days worth of food. You know, I'm guessing they immediately knew they were lost and couldn't move.

Yeah, but they didn't know how long they were going to be there for today. Yeah, so this is the problem with your food management. Like, surely on day five, you're like... I just ate it all and hoped for the best. Yeah, surely on day five, you're like, surely on day five, you're like, well, they must be coming tomorrow.

Let's have the last muesli bar. No. That would be the hardest thing I'd find, rationing. Because I'd be like, I'm so hungry and there's food in front of me. Yeah.

So that's like, would you even think you're going to be there 18 days? That's a long time. An insane amount of time. Like, how badly injured would you have to be to sit still?

Because I was talking about this when we went on a bush with the girls. I said, you know, if I ever got lost in the bush, I'd find a river and then just follow it down. Yeah.

Because eventually you're going to get to the coast. Or a giant 100 metre waterfall that you fall off and die. Oh no, I just wouldn't jump in the river and float. Hopelessly. I would like walk beside it.

Yeah. And then obviously, I hadn't considered a waterfall, but then I suppose, yeah, I'd try to find my way around it. Yeah, right. Somehow. But apparently, not only was it cold, apparently minus eight degrees Celsius at the exposed tops of the area that was close to them,

Mertz ever said, over the time that they were missing. A whole bunch of rain fell. Sunday, 60 mils. Monday, 115 mils and strong winds. So did they have a tent? Or did they... They must have been in a sleeping bag and had good, like, down jackets or something.

I've got so many questions. How did they do this? It's going to be a great story. The tell-all is going to be very interesting. And apparently the area around there is what is described as limestone cast landscape filled with lots of deep chasms, grikes, and cracks. Right. So there's the possibility of just falling down one of those if you weren't paying attention,

just going off trail and walking as well. How long can you go without eating? Well, they had water. Yeah, that's the most important thing, right? Which is probably the saving grace there. Right. I don't know. Unless the water was dirty and then you got the bloody GR to your shit.

No, you're up there. That would be an enjoyable. Apparently, when she got out, Jess called her mum for a teary conversation. Imagine being the parent getting that call. Oh, yeah. And how quickly you'd turn it into, do you have any idea how worried your father and I were?

There were people out there looking for you. And you've wasted all their time. I know. That would actually be the lecture, wouldn't it? Yeah, totally. It would really quickly turn into that lecture. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. There's a study that's been done of

calculated names, famous names from around the world, and they've worked out the most popular name for male and female for famous people. Okay. So they trawled Wikipedia, 20,000 names from various countries. Yeah. And they listed, you know, like male and female of actors,

musicians, TV stars, reality stars, you name it. Okay. And came up with Kate for the female name. Okay. Kate Winslet, Kate Middleton. Kate Beckinsale. Kate Mara. Ritchie. Yes. Kate Ritchie. Is that a... Mara. Ritchie.

Yes. Kate Ritchie. Is that a... Who's Kate Ritchie? Is that a thing? No. Nicole Ritchie? Nicole Ritchie?

No, we're not doing Nicole's. No, we're doing Kate's. We did Kate Hudson? Did someone say Kate Hudson? Isn't there... Kate. Upton. Kate Upton.

Kate Upton. It doesn't even... We just... did I say Kate Middleton? Yeah. What about in New Zealand? Oh, 15 famous Kates. Kate Ritchie was Sally Fletcher on Home and Away. Oh, Kate Ritchie, Australian reference. Oh, yeah, no, you got it.

I apologise now, both of you. Sorry, sorry. No, yeah. Kate Moss. Kate Walsh. I've Googled, to be honest with you here, I've Googled both of you. Sorry, sorry. No, yeah. Kate Moss. I'm not familiar. Kate Moss. Kate Walsh. I've Googled, to be honest with you. There's a lot of famous Kates. Googled famous Kates.

But I'm out. Mary Kate. No. Doesn't count. Doesn't count. Katie Holmes. And for the guys, John is the... Oh.

John Cena. Yes. John Cleese. John Campbell. John... Yes. John Stamos. Yes. John Cleese. John Campbell. Yes. John Stamos. Yeah. Who else though?

John Krasinski. John Legend. John Legend. Oh, yeah, okay. John Lennon. Lennon. Are we counting dead and alive? Yeah.

Absolutely. Now I'm going to go to the famous John. Okay, so there's actually quite a few. John F. Kennedy. Yep. John Travolta. Yep. Okay.

John Mayer. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there is quite a few. John Travolta. Yep. John Mayer. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there is quite a few. John just seems very like. John Wayne. Yeah. John Mulaney. John Mulaney.

John Boyega from Star Wars. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Lingered on that one a little bit there. You really creeped that one, creepo. Oh, yeah. He's great. Yeah.

John Williams, the composer. No, you lost my mind. The Jonas Brothers. The Jonas Brothers. The Jonas Brothers. That's a stretch, mate. Is it? If this was a drinking game and shit came into a harbour carrying famous Johns,

no one would let you have the Jonas Brothers. Oh, okay. You'd be drinking. John Oliver? Yep, John Oliver. Yep. Yeah, so if your name is John O'Kate. It's just one of the most popular names around the world as well.

Yep. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. From the ZM think tank. This is the top six. Hello there. A couple in the news decided to get tattoos,

matching tattoos of their wedding date. Now, I'm imagining quite a few people do do this. How many need to be removed later? With lasers. Doesn't work out. When it doesn't quite work out. It doesn't last forever. You're on your second wedding.

If you'd got a matching tattoo for your first one. Well, I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have. I know you wouldn't have. I know you wouldn't have. Me either. But good story. It's like how the Roman date for my wedding's wrong on the inside of my wedding ring.

That's right. It's actually my nana's birthday because it was the 13th of October, not the 13th of November, which was when we actually got married. So it's kind of cool because it's my nana's birthday. And to be fair, engravers, it's not like their big thing, is it, Roman?

Oh, that's why I sent them exactly what it should look like. They still got it wrong. But, you know. What's an eye to the right side of an X between friends? Yeah, exactly. Anyway, so they got their wedding date tattooed, but then COVID-19 hit. No wedding. Yeah, right but then COVID-19 hit. No wedding.

Yeah, right. Not on that date anyway. Surely you'd wait till after the wedding. It feels like a honeymoon thing to do, right? Yeah. When you're like four buckies deep in Thailand's full moon party. Then you can't go in the bloody chlorine-y swimming pool with a tattoo. You've got to wear a glad wrap.

Yeah, you don't want to be glad wrapped in Thailand. You've got to have some glad wrap. It'd be hard to jump over the flaming rope if your legs are glad wrapped. Glad wrapped up. Oh, God, imagine if the flaming rope caught the glad wrap on fire. I know. Your tattoo would be covered in molten plastic. Remember when we could go to Thailand full moon parties?

Oh, my God. You know what was even longer ago? Wanting to go to a Thailand full moon party. True. So the top six regrettable 2020 tattoos. Yeah. Because a lot has changed

since early January. Number six on the list. 2020, the best year ever. You never do that at the start of the year. No, no, no. Do that reflectively on the year at the end.

Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six regrettable 2020 tattoos. No one likes Jacinda. Regrettable. I mean, I still think there's probably some folk out there that don't. Oh, well, if you delve into stuff in New Zealand Herald comments, yes, a lot do.

Yeah. But I'd say the most popular Prime Minister in 100 years in New Zealand you know they're starting to be in the minority. They're just too stubborn to admit it. Yeah.

They like it. Number four on the list of the top six regrettable 2020 tattoos I hug everyone prepare for the hugs. Yeah.

One you're not getting your hugs and B that tattoo is going to scare a lot of people. It's been a hard year for huggers. It's been a hard year for hugs. Good, you're not getting your hugs. And B, that tattoo is going to scare a lot of people. It's been a hard year for huggers.

It's been a hard year for hugs. Good for you. You've never been much of a hugger? No. I've been a limp hugger. A one-armed limper. I've come a long way. I'm real good at hugs now, guys.

Okay. Number three on the list of the... You know, it's weird seeing you be so physically affectionate With that cat on Instagram I know isn't it? Lying on you and you like patting it And it shutting it's eyes and you like being content With physical

I know it weirds me out It's really unusual You don't do that with anyone I've never seen it I mean it's nice that you're getting that Thanks Number three on the list of the top six Regrettable tattoos for 2020 I've never seen it. Yeah. I mean, it's nice that you're getting that. Yeah. Thanks. Number three on the list of the top six regrettable tattoos for 2020 is a tattoo that would read,

Wanderlusting all of 2020. Yeah. I mean, that's regrettable just because... You're a big fan of Wanderlusting anyway. Yeah, I know. That's regrettable just because it's dumb, but also it's not been a year for Wanda Lusting, has it? No.

Number two on the list of the top six regrettable 2020 tattoos would read 2020, the year Simon Bridges becomes Prime Minister. Oh, buddy. Bella, champ, champ, guy, sport, buddy, chief. This is going anywhere in public. Everyone would just be like, oh, hi. Hey. This is going anywhere in public. Everyone would just be like, oh, hi. Someone's so publicly, like, took your job because you were rubbish in it.

Yeah, but then, like, I reckon he's watching the videos now of Marla just getting torn to bits by journalists left, right and centre. That shambolic start to it all this week. Yeah. It's got to make him feel better. So easy, is it? And number one on the list of the top six regrettable tattoos that you could have got at the start of 2020 would have been if you'd gone to the Conference of Veterinarians in Dunedin in 2019 and got the tattoo everyone was getting.

Conference of Veterinarians in Dunedin or COVID-19. It was a great conference for veterinarians in Dunedin, but I'm glad not everybody got the tattoo. But if you did, that is today's top six. I've got a bit of a hack for anybody who's battling getting through to a call centre. Why are you laughing? No, no, Go ahead, caller.

Please tell us. Well, I got an email from Air New Zealand saying, your flights have been cancelled. Yeah. You can have some credit or in little tiny letters, because it was a flight to America, in little tiny letters, you're actually entitled to a refund if you want that.

Give us a call. Right. So I was like, well, yes, if you want that. Give us a call. Right. So I was like, well, yes, I want a refund. That'd be fantastic. Yes. Because money. Oh, no, you guys keep it.

You guys keep it. I'm sure I'll spend this flying around the country. Yeah, no, you guys have that. Yeah. Merry Christmas. So I went to ring them yesterday and it was engaged.

Of course it was. Engaged. Because you know how it's happened to you. It's happened to a lot of people. It's happened to, I know, exactly. Everything's been cancelled and I know I'm's happened to you. It's happened to a lot of people. I know, exactly. Everything's been cancelled. And I know I'm not alone in that.

So I was like, well, that sucks. But I'm going to, this was my plan. We get up at, I get up at 4.30. I was like, I'm going to get ready for work, pop in my little gym earbuds and call them. And got through within like 45 seconds and got a refund. Right, because? Because the call send is 24.

Yeah, I've gone off peak. So that would be my, I mean, there's obviously still international customers that they have to deal with. So what are you telling people to set their alarm and do it at 4am? Well, unless you want to be on the phone, because how long were you, Executive Intern Anya, you rang during the daytime hours. Yeah, like a fool. How long

did it take you? One hour and seven minutes. Yeah. Don't listen to me. And that's no fault of the people in the call centre, so again. But, you know, that's why I wanted to mention this now, because the first thing I did when I rang up was there was a little pre-recorded announcement they don't normally have.

Did you hear this too, Anya? I don't think so. It was like, it wasn't the usual corporate soothing voice that comes on. It was just like, it sounded like someone from the office who basically came on and said, look, these are crazy times. We're all in this together. Be nice to each other. Oh, so they used... It was a preemptive,

please don't yell at our call centre people. Basic paraphrasing. It was a don't be mean to the people on the other end of the phone. And do you ever mount it at the social media? Does he got a friend that works in the call centre at Air New Zealand? Yeah, last time I talked to her,

she said she was being abused on the daily. Yeah, see, it's not her fault. She didn't start the virus, did she? No, no. She didn't start the virus. It was in a pangolin in the markets. She didn't start the virus. In a what? In the markets?

A pangolin. I know there's a lot of talk about the bat, but I'm more of a fan of the pangolin theory. What's a pangolin? It's like an armoured possum. Oh, I've seen those. They're the most beautiful, most amazing creatures, but they're endangered because, duh,

people think they've got medicinal properties, duh. They don't. They're just cool looking. Horrible that she's getting abused. Imagine the anxiety picking up the phone and being like, what am I going to get? What am I going to get? Hello.

So this was my... I think I was there. My name's Karen. I'd be like, picking up the phone and be like, what am I going to get? What am I going to get? Hello. So this was my... Hello there. My name's Karen. I'd be like, sorry, losing you. Do you think if you knew their name as soon as you answered the phone, that would be... Well, if it comes up on the screen, Karen, not today. You just wouldn't answer it.

But I think I went the other way. I think I was too nice. No, I think it makes their day when you, even if you're just, you know, a decent human being, it really makes their day. She was like, what's the booking reference? I'm like, you know, blah, blah, blah. Thank you so much.

You know, and just like, oh my God, thank you so much. Have a lovely day. Like, you're so helpful. And I was just like, hung up and I was like, maybe I was just too nice. I had that with the bank yesterday. I rung up to ask the bank a question and he was like, how's your day going?

I was like, yeah, not too bad. How about you? And he was like, good. I was like, is everything all right? He's like, yeah, no, it's good. And I was like, has anyone asked you? He's like, what are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing?

He was a deep breath and he wanted to tell you. Yeah, and then I was like, I wanted to be like, tell me. What's happening? Tell me about it. What's up? First of all, how's your mum? Yeah. Yeah. First of all, how's your mum? Yeah. Yeah.

First of all, do what needs to be done so we can see the balances of all the accounts, but then tell me, how are you going? Yeah. Well, what's up? But yeah, call centres at the moment would be. Yeah, but I think just hearing that message and even, yeah, now hearing from Mountie's friend

or about Mountie's friend, just be nice to the people on the other end of the phone because it's not their fault. It's not their fault. And they have the potential to help you. Yeah, and they're having to deal with Karens every day. And they also have the potential to put you on hold for 10 minutes while they go and have a coffee and a ciggy

and come back and be like, sorry, it's mad here. I was just tracking down my supervisor. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast ZM. It premieres on TVNZ on demand at midday today, Survive the 80s. And from that, Guy Montgomery joins us this morning. Hello. Good morning.

How do you do? Good. Good, thank you. First things first, Guy, how old are you? Were you alive in the 80s? I am 31. And that's actually not a very becoming question to ask a gentleman. That's not.

Which means I caught one year and three months of the 80s. And I look back on that time as some of the best in my life. Yeah. Because Vaughan has an issue that people hosting the show like yourself weren't alive as much in the 80s as Vaughan, and maybe he's been overlooked as a host of the show. That's what I said when they asked me to audition. I said, have you auditioned Vaughan Smith?

And they said, Vaughan Smith? Who the hell is Vaughan Smith? And I said, he was alive in the 80s. And they said, well, a boatload of people were alive in the 80s. They'd be terrible hosts. It's true. They sort of just gave me the job. It was incredible.

I'm just loving Kim Crossman wasn't even born until May. Oh, it's just been her birthday. May 1990. Yeah. That one I took issue with as well. I said, well, surely we'd get this born guy in to do what Kim's doing. Because she wasn't even there for the 1989, famously the best year of the 1980s.

But obviously as a host, I have absolutely no authority over the production, so I just went along with what they said. Now explain for those show premieres today, midday, TVNZ On Demand, what is the show about? What happens? Well, it's a very fun and very dumb sort of silly reality show

which is born of a social experiment. So the guy who created it, he wanted to experiment with a show where millennials were starved of technology, but to retool it in a way that was more TV friendly, he came up with a show called Survive the 80s. So it's 10 episodes.

Every episode is set in the year through the 1980s. 1980 it's 10 episodes. Every episode is set in the year through the 1980s. 1980 through 81, 82, 83. And at the start of the very first episode, all the contestants, there's four teams of two. They have to hand over their smartwatches, their phones, their laptops, all of their technology is sacrificed. And in every episode, they have to navigate two challenges from the year that the show is set. So in the first episode, they've got to do two things from 1980 year that the show is set. So in the first episode, they've got to do two things from 1980

and all the way forward. And at the end of each episode, whichever team wins the main challenge, they have the choice. They can either win a prize from that year to share with their fellow contestants or selfishly spend 20 minutes reunited with their phones

in the 21st century room. The 21st century room. The 21st century room. The 21st century room sounds like something that was invented in the 1980s. Step in and enjoy technology of the future. Exactly. Wow. Yeah, we filmed it right when the world was changing. So it was this crazy experience where when we started filming,

there was an awareness of the global situation that was brewing, but it wasn't sort of bearing down on New Zealand with quite such rapid pace. But every day the news cycle would, you know, throw up these huge changes. And these guys had no, they could watch the six o'clock news or read a newspaper, but there was no real way to properly gauge or experience what was happening in the world. And I kept saying to them, you guys got no idea. You know, it was like there's this whole other show that we weren't geared up to. It was happening behind the scenes.

It was really incredible. Well, I remember talking about Big Brother. They hadn't told them in Australia. Yeah. And Germany. Yeah. Germany. I got quite obsessed with watching those videos on YouTube where the Big Brother voice would say, you know, this is what's happening.

We're not filming the show anymore. It was crazy. Yeah. Wow. So what can we get? Give us a taste. Don't spoil 1986 for me. That was a great year. A year that I was at kindergarten. It was macaroni

cards. It was Play-Doh cakes. Yeah, yeah. And it was hot tin slides. Continuing with their motif of not really including any of you or your childhood in the show, they skipped around all that Play-Doh cakes and all that sort of viewer kindergarten stuff.

Sounds of bitches. One of my favourite challenges was we got Alison Hulse's microwave cookbook. Oh my God! That's so cool. We put four microwaves We got Alison Hulse's microwave cookbook. Oh, my God. That's so cool. We put four microwaves in the studio, and these guys had to make a three-course meal

under what I would describe as immense time pressure. They were roasting chickens in the microwave plus entree and dessert in 45 minutes. That's how I was raised. I can nail that. God, if my mum had been there, she would have been able to give them some tips on how to cut 30 minutes off that, Jesus. That's how I was raised. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can nail that. I'm glad if my mum had been there, she would have been able to give them some tips on how to cut 30 minutes off that cook time.

Yeah. Yeah, it was really, really funny to watch. And we had a celebrity judge in to a genuine foodie to eat the food. Oh, wow. And I wouldn't touch any of it, but he chewed on everything. Oh.

Chewed as you would if something had been cooked in the microwave. A lot of chewing involved. Yeah. Wow. Now, don't spoil anything, but what happens with the Berlin Wall near the end of the season? Yeah, I don't want to alarm anybody, but big changes are going to be

brought in around Berlin. Episode 9. Episode 9 Episode 9 baby It's going to be The end of season cliffhanger Yeah It ends with David Hasselhoff In a private jet

Flying to Berlin Yes Wow Brilliant Well I'm excited To see this Guy Montgomery It starts today

Will be out today TVNZ On Demand From midday Survive the 80s Thank you so much For talking to us this morning, Guy. A pleasure as always. Thank you so much. Have a great day.

Flesh Warner Megan. The podcast. ZM. Flesh Warner Megan's. Na, na, na, Ryoki. Na, na, na, Ryoki. Na, na, na, Ryoki. Na, na, na, Ryoki.

Na, na, na, na, na. This all started because... Producer Jared. Yeah. Had a song in his head, and him and his mates were trying to work it out. It turned out to be a song by a band called The Tuts called K. Then all we had to go on was nananana.

Nananana. And we solved it. So we're going to now nanana a song, and you've just got to guess what it is. 0800-DS at M. If you would like to play right now. What's the prize today, Vaughan? You'll be going into the office

and stealing something from the office, I believe, as you normally do. What about that framed picture of Art Green? Are they still using that? Why are you going to take that away? I don't know if we can give that away. I was sick of him being objectified. What about half a quarter of a bottle of hand sanding?

Oh, no, no, no, we're not out of this yet. We need that quarter of a bottle of hand sanding. What about, there's some garland, a metallic garland. A what? Yes, what is this? It's pineapples and it's like a tropical. It's a multi-layered summer garland. It's three metres in length.

It features flamingos, pineapples, monstera leaves, but fake monstera leaves, so calm your housemark farm. We've got some crap around here, don't we? Oh, we don't. What a rubbish prize, but hey, we're in a recession, so. You might have a tropical-themed party. Good morning, Taylor. How are you?

I'm good, thanks. How are you? Good. All right, now we're going to na-na-na a song. party. Good morning, Taylor. How are you? I'm good, thanks. How are you? Good. All right. Now, we're going to na-na-na a song. Okay. Okay. Are you like your group's go-to song knower?

No, not really, but I'll give it a go. Okay. Are we going to all hit it at the same time or are we going to go one at a time? Yeah, you start. No, you start. You're the poorest. You're our poorest.

Okay, I'm starting. What? That's the song. That's not the song. That's the song. Go again. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. I know you.

But just don't stop. Keep going and then we'll join in. Na, na, na, na, na. Na-na-na-na. Na-na-na-na-na. Oh, my goodness. Come on, Taylor, you dummy. Oh, I think you're going to have still a bit of trouble. Go, man. You go.

Na-na-na-na-na-na. Na-na-na-na-na. Na-na-na-na-na-na. Na-na-na-na-na. Na-na-na-na-na-na. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, I have no idea. I think I would like to apologise. Fletch really threw you off the centre to start. It's not my fault. You guys are not doing the na-na-nas in time. I think we were pretty on point. Once you dipped out, we really carried it. Am I allowed a hint?

No, you're allowed a hint. What do you mean? You just had the whole song. You just had the whole song. You just had a bunch of na-na-na. Taylor, we do need a guess from you, otherwise we have to go to the next caller. Yep. Is it the jet?

No, Taylor, unfortunately. Did she think it was that song, Are You Gonna Be My Girl? Yeah. Yeah, that song. Sorry, Taylor. No, sorry, Taylor. Great song, though. Hayden.

Hey, guys, did they shake it off? Hayden, let us say hello first. He's gone straight in there. Yeah. Give it another go. You don't even want to hear it again. Give us a bit of foreplay, Hayden. Jeez. Hayden.

Yeah. Correct. You got it. See, it wasn't hard, was it? That was easy. Yeah, thank you. The caller was even called Taylor, and she didn't guess it was Taylor Swift. Shake it off. Unbelievable. Well,

congratulations. Thank you. Thank you so much. You win three metres of multi-layered summer garland from the most trustworthy brand known to man, Anko. Available at Kmart. Was that a party decoration you had? Ah, Anko. Yeah.

I don't know. Well, that was great. Was that a raging success? Ah, ANCO. Yeah. I don't know. Well, that was great. Was that a raging success? I think you're fired from that. You know that I'm not rhythmic. You've got to practice. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. And we are 53 minutes away from launch of the NASA SpaceX rocket, which is, judging by my Facebook feed, streaming everywhere.

Do you want to watch that? The first manned or personned rocket launch. Human. Yeah, what is the correct, what do we use there? Because nothing feels short enough. Yeah, astronauty. Astronauted. It's the first astronaut rocket.

Piloted. Yes. Piloted. Yes. Piloted. The first piloted rocket launch in the US since when? Forever. Like 2011 or something like that? I thought it was longer. Oh.

Oh, he literally heard his bubble burst. Yeah, I thought it was longer than that. 2011, so like the last space shuttle. Was that the last takeoff? So that's nine years. Oh, yeah, but I want it was longer than that. 2011, so like the last space shuttle. Was that the last takeoff? So that's nine years. Oh, yeah, but I want it to be longer. You're all right, buddy. Yeah, 8th of July, 2011.

Oh. Yeah. Sorry, everyone. Where's it going to? The ISS. Oh, yeah, kid. Yeah. And then it's going to be like, screw it, screw it, and go around the moon.

It's not. A mum in Britain has bought a secondhand vending machine like you would have at your workplace. She got a secondhand vending machine for £100. What's the point? Well, this is why, Megan. Oh, I've just looked on Trade Me. $550 and there's one for $700.

But these are modern. I'd want a retro one. Yeah, no, this one's modern. This one she's got's definitely like one of those spiral ones that twists and you push like C2 and then it tells you how much. Oh, Jesus. Some of these are like $1,700. Oh, yeah. For the fancy

ones. Yeah. Well, if you're going to have a business, you know, if you're going to be stocking them. Yeah, true. Not the good ones. So she's put it in the laundry beside the washing machine. Which is a front loader. Yep. Have you got an issue with that?

Well, it's an old front loader. It's not a new modern front loader. But anyway, we'll talk about that another time. No, I'm all for a not really. Why do you hate a front loader? I've got a front loader. It's a fantastic washing machine. All right for you.

Why is it okay? You're saying they're too small for a... You can't get like a big a front loader? I've got a front loader. It's a fantastic washing machine. All right for you. Why is it okay? Small loads. Small foray. You can't get like a big load front loader. You can. Very expensive. Okay. Call me old fashioned.

I feel like you grow up with. I'm a gentle Annie guy. Have your parents got a front loader? No. Oh, I was going to say. But it has a space issue. You grow up with and then you're stuck with a top or a front. I probably, what?

You're definitely a top loader. Thank you. Kind of a washing machine. I'm versatile, but it depends on space. Okay. But, yeah, no. Okay. Probably because I grew up with it.

Yeah. Anyway, she's got a front loader washing machine. And beside that is her new vending machine that she bought for £100 and she stocked it with treats. Now, they're not all, like, sugary treats. There's some healthy treats in there. Not, like, fruit. Yeah.

Not, like, true healthy, but, yeah, you know, fake healthy, like muesli bars. And she said that because they're stuck at home on lockdown, the kids are just eating around the house and home. Right. And they can get into the pantry and get it. Well, she said now they've got to earn the money.

So she's got all these coins now. Yeah, it's pretty cool. She's like, you've got to earn it. So if you want a dollar, do all your homework. No whinging

or no dollar. Yeah, right. Or do chores. Do you know what's brilliant about this? Is that the kids are paying for their own junk food because she gets the money back.

Yeah. Because otherwise you give them pocket money and they can spend it out. But then she's got to give the money to them again. So there was a circle, but every time she buys more, she's got to introduce more. Well, she's getting the money out of the vending machine, isn't she?

What she needs to introduce is a tax system. GST on the goods that she straight gets the pocket. Yeah, right. Anyway. Great idea. Break down this family's failing circular economy at a later date. Small business. Maybe Todd Muller's got an idea that involves him saying small business a lot and putting

his hands very wide. But anyway, she's let out saying, yeah, and it's working a treat. Yeah, right. Pun intended. Because the kids are doing the chores to get there but she said

when it all opens up again people are going to find it weird that she's got a vending machine in her house. I'd love a retro vending machine. I feel like you'd get sick of it. Yeah, maybe. Plus you're in charge

of the money and the treats so there's nothing stopping you just being like clunk, clunk, clunk. I know. This is why I only have treats in my house. It only works when the purples that you're trying to get to do stuff, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk. This is why I only have treats It only works when the people

that you're trying to get to do stuff don't have their own cash. Yeah, this is true. Available to them. But we were wondering off the back of this, do you have something unusual in your house

that often requires explaining to people? I know some people that have picked up like an old pokey machine. What? Like a one-armed bandit. Yeah.

And they just have it in their house. Does it work? Yeah, and they work. Because you just get a key. So it's the same with the ladies' vending machine. Where's the fun? Yeah, you can just open it and be like, money for me.

Well, I don't know why they have it. Because then you're just going ka-ching. Some of the really old ones I can see are decorative appeal. Yeah, that's what they have it for. But not the ones with all the lights and the songs and the noises. No, they're not modern ones. They're always like the old clunky ones. Right, okay.

But yeah, the money just circles around and around, but it's more just for a fun factor. So people come around and they're like, oh, you've got a pokey machine. Yeah, and then there's a story to tell about it. Yeah, and then, look, I don't know, Megan. Or maybe it's something built into your house. Yeah, right, okay.

What if you've got a house, oh, how good would it, I mean, pointless, but. Trap door. Or a dummy waiter. Yeah, right. What if you got a house? Oh, how good would it... I mean, pointless, but... Trap door. Or a dummy waiter. Trap door. A dummy waiter. No, I had a friend... What's a dummy waiter?

They had a flat for a while that was in like a posh suburb. They didn't last long in the suburb. Parties. But they had a dumbbell waiter that went up. So what you do is that you... Like, the person, the chef in the old days, or whoever made, would prepare the meal and put it in

this thing and then push the rope and it would go up to the second floor and then the person could just get their food without having to... Oh, that's cool. This one was electronic. Oh, wow. But it had stopped working, I think, because someone had tried to use it as an elevator. A small person. But anyway, that aside.

This family, ages ago, when I was a teenager and I babysat their kids. Hang on, is this another World War II story? So the Germans were beginning their blitz. And I said, children, keep calm, carry on, get under a table. No, and they had bells in their house. So in the kitchen, there was this bell board,

and in the rooms there were switches, and you'd flick it, and it would be like ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, and the bell, and it would say master bedroom underneath which bell was ringing. Who had to attend to the bells? The mum now because they weren't loaded, but I'm imagining the person that built the house way back in the day must have had help.

Wow. How cool would that be? Mum would disconnect that. Yeah, mum would in the day must have had help. Wow. How cool would that be? Crazy. Alright, we'll give it... Mum would be disconning that. Yeah, I might want to tore it straight off the wall. Weird, unusual things at your house that you have to explain. Those features. Vending machine. Yeah. For example? A motherboard or vending machine to

limit the suites or to get the kids to at least work for them. So we want to know those things in your house that maybe need some explanation. Peter, what do you have to explain? Hey, good morning, guys. Good morning. Hey, my friend bought a house.

It's a big old house. It's been kind of converted a few times. And it used to be an old kind of yoga retreat. And in the main bedroom, it's got a big bedroom with an en suite and whatnot. There's a built-in shelves. And if you pull the shelves back, it's actually a secret entrance into the next room, which is a guest room. Oh, kinky. Yeah, and then within that room, there's a built-in

cabinet with a mirror and whatnot on the wall and you'll think, oh yeah, that's okay. And you pull it open and it's actually red velvet lined with the hooks on it. And we've had many a time trying to figure out what they used to do in that room. But no one can be sure. I feel like Shades of Grey. Yeah, well, hey, it was a weird yoga retreat kind of house. So who knows what extra hippies they've got up there. Imagine the positions because they're very flexible.

Oh, yeah. Downward doggy style. Yeah. Worshiping the sun god. Peter, thanks for your call. Gillian, what's the unusual thing at your house that needs explaining? We have a safe in our garage floor. It's got these wooden slats over the top of it,

and you take them off, and there's a safe underneath it. Oh, that's so cool. There's a safe facing up, so you take the wooden slats over the top of it, and you take them off, and there's a safe underneath it. Wait, so is the safe facing up? So you take the wooden slats off, and then there's the dial and everything right there? Yeah. Oh, exciting. Do you know the combination? Well, it's actually unlocked and nothing exciting in it,

but I think there obviously used to be something exciting in it. But who, yeah, the people that had your house before, like what were they hiding? We know one of the owners, because we live slightly rurally, we know one of the owners used to grow his own stuff to make him happy. Yes. So he hid it. Yeah, it was a drug money safe, a drug safe.

Brilliant. Wow. Amazing. The police will never think to look under these floorboards that are easily removable in the garage floor. Gillian, thanks for your call. Darren, what's the unusual thing at your house

that you need to explain? I've got an old arcade machine with coin mechanism and everything so I can set it for, you know, put money in for 50 cent coins and what, and it's got all the old games on like Frog Out and it's Pac-Man.

Oh, wow. Oh, that's cool. And so every time people come around and they're just like, whoa. Yeah, they're like, oh, what's this doing

in your lounge? Wow. Can you set it to like $2 coins when you have a party? Yeah, yeah, you can change your coin mechanism

and change it to, I haven't done it but you can do it with weight. At the moment it's set for like 50 cents, so. Wow, yeah, I'd totally be making money off my friends. So it's set to weight, not size of coin? Yeah, I believe so. Oh, okay. All right, Darren, thanks for your call.

Some text messages. My parents have a large wall-mounted bell that they used to ring to summon my brothers and I to dinner every day. Dad would ring it in threes like we were on a ship. It had to be explained to every guest ever. How big? Like a big dong, dong. Dong, enough to...

It's like you're at boarding school or something. Yeah. When we first moved into our house, we had a sauna in the bathroom. Oh, yeah. I have a sauna in the bathroom. Oh, yeah. I have a pole in my lounge. Yes, it's one of those sorts of poles,

but no word if they installed it or if it was already installed. See, that could just be a wall support, so I wouldn't take that down in a hurry. Yeah, I actually

additional strutting. You think it's a stripper pole, but then the lounge floor, the ceiling collapses. Yeah, saggy floor. Somebody else said their daughter made a doorway, so to hold a door open, but it looked like

a poo, so we put it in the toilet, and when people aren't using it to hold the door open, it just is on the floor in the toilet. Very realistic looking. Always requires an explanation. Somebody else said lots of like hidden rooms. Our flat in Dunedin, we had a secret room through the downstairs wardrobe. We called it Narnia and it was a bar

and it had a piano in it. That's so cool. I must have put the piano in. So yeah, lots of household features that need explanation. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. Welcome to Aotearoa. What is this music?

Is this New Zealand? Yeah, yeah. It's kind of got a hobbity feel to it, right? It does, yeah, it does. I was doing a bird, did you hear? I'll do that. You hear the tooey? And then a seagull swoops in.

It's like it's choking on its own song. All right, Tui. Knock off the last note, mate. The rest was beautiful. But we've got a long weekend on our hands. We're going to get out there and we're going to experience New Zealand. So I thought we could each bring a local gem. Okay. How local? Just in New Zealand? Yeah, yeah. to experience New Zealand. So I thought we could each bring a local gem. Okay.

How local? Just in New Zealand. Whatever. Yeah, yeah. Somewhere in New Zealand. Somewhere in New Zealand. No, Megan. Tell us about the time you went to Brazil.

Because we can all go to Brazil this weekend. I thought it had to be like from our hometowns. Well, mine is. It had to be in Nelson. Mine is from my hometown, but that doesn't mean yours has to be in my town. Mine's really close. You've really put me on the spot, Vaughan, because I'm from Taranaki.

There's so many things to choose from. Wow. Well, you can get a list then. Pick one. Are they all walks? Yes, I have actually gone for a walk. I've gone for a picturesque walk. Okay.

Well, do you want to go first then? Do you want to lead the charge? Well, I would say, now, disclaimer, because what's the weather going to be like this weekend? Oh, not great. That's the problem. I was going to suggest just get the boots on and hit one of the huts

on the mountain. Okay, so... But there is an asterisk there because you've obviously got to be very well prepared. You've got to check the weather and if it's not great, don't go.

Weather permissive. Today. The Piwakai Crossing, that's normally kind of a summertime thing. Beautiful. Yeah, you could even stay in the hut. Nah, mate.

Well, that could be like for this weekend or going forward because we're going to be touring our backyard for a while. I'd wait till it's, because this is what your weather's looking like in New Plymouth and the surrounding areas. Yep. Friday, rain. Saturday, rain. Sunday, rain.

Monday, also rain. So you won't see it. Even when you're on the mountain, you won't see it. You only know it's there because you're not falling. You wanted a local gem. That's my local gem, but maybe save it for a nicer weekend. Well, there's the Pulcine Crossing,

but that's got some high alpine stuff, so that's more of a summer thing, but there is an option for not as high alpine., so that's more of a summer thing. But there is an option for not as high alpine. Say what the sign says. Look, you don't want to be stranded. Careful going this way, alpine crossing, this way, not so alpine crossing. Not as high. Look, you don't want to be spending 18 days in the bush like those people in Nelson.

But then what about your seaside walk? Yeah, you could do that. It's raining. You just said it's raining. Okay, you know what? Laser tag. Laser tag. Does New Plymouth have laser tag?

Well, it did when I was a kid. Yeah, but there was a lot of things when you were a kid that it doesn't have anymore. Like teeth. Wow. Shots across the bow from the Waikato region

into the Chattanooga there. Yeah, from the meth-y Waikato region into the Taranaki there. From the meth-y Waikato region. Having a go at tea. We're not here to sass each other's wives. There's laser sport Taranaki. Well, there you go. That's my local gym. I've got a picture of Nathan enjoying his eighth birthday.

There you go. Lovely. Lovely. That's my local gym. As always, doing Taranaki proud, please. Yes. At least he's not in jail. Megan, what's your local jam?

So mine is almost two hours out of Nelson. You could take a mini road trip or it's straight across from Kaikoura, the Buller Gorge. There is a swing bridge. I think it's New Zealand's largest swing bridge. I've gone rafting down there. It's beautiful. You can go rafting down there.

It's amazing. It's cold. You can go rafting down there. It's amazing. But cold, wrong time of the year, Megan. When you're just listening to the weather. Well, don't go rafting. You can still go on the swing bridge. There's a fault line loop walk

because the massive 1929 Murchison earthquake. You're not selling this. Well, no, it's not earthquaking now. It's to go look along all the, because there's massive

like geological rocks and stuff. You don't stroke me as someone that. Massive geological rocks and stuff. Structures. What are you doing? Wow. I was waiting for like shifts of tectonic plates and the evidence of, you know, fault line. You were like, you know, big rocks.

No, because the ground rose 4.5 metres after that. Wow. So there's a fault line loop walk you can do. You don't even want to come hiking and stay in the huts when Vaughan and I go. How are you all of a sudden interested in geological wonders? You're just going through a forest and then you're hanging out at like a hut. Do you know... This is a loop walk and I can look at all the massive rocks and stuff

and this beautiful gorge. While it's not warm this weekend... Put a jacket on. The weather doesn't look as bad as New Plymouth, so I'd be a place for a little walk. Beautiful South Island, isn't it? Well, here we go. What's your local Morrinsville jam going to be?

Regardless of the weather, grab a brolly or a poncho and head to the lovely East Waikato town of Morrinsville this long weekend. What are you going to do in Morrinsville? Home of the Prime Minister. Well, I was going to put me first. Okay, yep. Vaughan and all-black Dwayne Monkley.

Who? I don't know. They always just talked about Dwayne Monkley. Apparently he played... What, in 1950? No, I think it was like the early 80s or something. You can't be claiming that now. No one knows who that is.

Every small rural town stakes claim to someone who's been in an All Blacks training squad. And I believe ours was Dwayne Monkley. Right. Anyway, regardless of the weather, because even if it's raining, grab a brolly or a poncho and see one of Morrinsville's herd of cows. That's right. Oh, really? The town, which has a strong dairy history, has some 59 cows now, I think,

just looking at the map. These are fibreglass cows. These are like the fake cows. Yeah, scattered all over the tiny town. Yeah, there's a map at herdofcowsmorinsville.co.nz. And you and the family, before you get to Morinsville, can play the fun game of what's going to be the shortest route to see all of them. Heck, do it on a bike.

Do it in the car. Have fun. Or you could just go to a herd of cows and see them all. No, you can't. I can't wait for this trans-Tasman bubble. Can't you do some lodging? There's lots. There's lots of cows to see.

Who needs to go anywhere? Overseas, that is. We've got all these local gems. Yeah, right. Okay. Here in Aotearoa. Otherwise, just try your usual hotspots like Rotorua or Queenstown. Yeah.

Actually, our hot pools would go well this weekend, wouldn't it? Oh, yeah. That'd be a good weekend for a hot pool. Oh, yeah. Good weekend for a thermal hot pools. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Now, if you're trying to figure out if your date is cool,

if they're going to be clingy, there's a way that you can discover this by how they use their pronouns. Right. So when people use pronouns, it just comes out. They're generally unaware. It's not something you necessarily think about before you say it. Okay. So if you are dating someone and they talk about their past relationships, if they use I instead of we when they describe their old relationships,

that's a positive. Whereas if they are talking about we when they discuss their ex-partner, then they get really attached and probably still have an attachment to their ex and are likely to do the same to you. Well, so they were like, oh, we went on holiday. Yeah. Rather than I went on holiday. But then you would say we, wouldn't you?

We went on holiday. Because it was the both of you. Because it was the both of you. Yeah. When I went to Thailand, I had a massive argument. Yeah. With myself. Yeah.

But then what if you wanted to say you went to Thailand, but you didn't want to bring up the ex? You might say, I went to Thailand. Well, no, apparently that's a good thing. Yeah, right. Because then you're talking about your individual experience. Yeah. You're not talking about yourself as a collective with your ex.

Yeah. I think it's always a red flag if you're on a date with someone and they're talking about their ex. Period. Period. Yeah. So it's different attachment styles.

So yeah, if you're using your pronouns I and myself and I don't know what else is there. And I mean, if they're messaging

every five minutes. But then if you're into them, don't you want them to be clingy and never leave you? Oh. No? Okay.

So we went on holiday. I just think it all depends on how hot they are, right? Yeah. So we went on holiday. I think it all depends on how hot they are, right? Yeah. They're really hot. They never leave me. These rules that we're talking about only apply to average people. Or average in comparison to you. Yeah, but again, if they're hot, I assume there's a different set of rules.

They just can do whatever they want, I think. Yeah. I don't know how that works. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. Fact of the Day. Day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day is about bias against left-handed people. Yeah. Was it your dad? He used to get whacked over the knuckles because he's still left-handed. He wrote with his left hand and he cracked. But they used to wrap him over the knuckles, yeah. I'm so bad for saying to people, oh, you're left-handed. And that's it.

And they're like, cool. Cool. Like it's some special skill. Yeah, like it's, I just find it real. It's cool the way that left-handed people write. What do you do? They go like that. No, they don't.

It's just some person. Some do. For people at home, you can't see. Fletch literally curved his wrist as much as he could. No, they do it. So I just like the way they write. Some people write like that and some people don't. No, but when a left-handed person writes like that,

I'm always like, hee hee. I've seen a right-handed person writes like that, I'm always like, hee-hee. I've seen a right-handed person write like that. But do left-handed people have to keep their hand off the paper? Yeah, they do. Because otherwise they drag it and they smudge it. That's why they go like that because... No one does that. They do.

Not being a lefty, I've never experienced right-hand bias or bias against the left-handed people. But, of course, you've never experienced right hand bias or bias against the left handed people but of course you've got scissors, kitchen knives, apparently also harder to use for the left handed computer input devices like what?

the mice are set up to be for right handed rather than left because of course you click most on the left side of the mouse but you put that in your left hand, you're going to be clicking with your ring finger. Are you catching on, or what's the problem? You understand what I'm doing? I'm doing like, yeah, but can't you just move your index finger over to the left?

No, but some mice are ergonomically shaped for right hands. Oh, that's a different... Is it not left ergonomic? You can change it, but you have to change it to left. Yeah. There's a bias to right there. Cameras. You hold it up and you click it with your right hand.

Oh, yeah. It's the clicky button and the left hand's the focus. Do it the other way around and it's... Yeah. For left-handed people. Musical instruments, sports equipment, weapons. Never had an experience with that. It's harder to shoot guns, your standard guns,

as a left-hander apparently, someone being told. The US Navy SEALs have to have specially crafted left-handed weapons if they're left-handed because the right ones that they use don't work as easily. Why aren't lefties more vocal about this? If I was left-handed, I would be outraged. They're a minority, Megan, and it's important we don't give them a voice. That's sarcasm.

Of course it's sarcasm. Sarcasm. But language is what I specifically wanted to talk about. I had no idea that most languages' words for left, indicating like the left hand,

have a negative connotation as well. For example, left. The we derived left from the Anglo-Saxon word left, which is spelt slightly different, but it said the same apparently, which was the same word for weak. Oh.

Meaning that the left side is the weak side. The ancient Greek word for it, I don't speak Greek, so I won't, is ill-named. So that would be like the ill-named side

because the other side was of good name and like the strong side of your body, the left side. In Sanskrit, which is where we get our numbers from, left stood for wicked. It was the same word for left and like evil. Oh, wicked.

Wicked. Not like Wockard. No, not Wockard like real cold. Not like Kiwi Wockard. Yeah. In German, the left is links, and it means underhanded or questionable and often clumsy. Yeah, so like all the bad words.

In Finnish, the word right means okay and correct, but then the left means opposite, like the opposite of okay and correct. Yeah, right. And in Turkish, the word for left is sol, which also means discoloured, dying and ill. Wow. So be nice to left-handed people, please.

Yeah. Aren't they more creative and stuff? I don't know. The left side of the brain is the creative and the right is the logical or something like that. Yeah, just think about that before you pass a lefty your gun. Just be like, oh, this is a right-handed gun. I hope you're going to be okay.

This is going to work for you. Yeah. Or golf clubs, whatever you're more likely to use this long weekend. Sure. So today's fact of the day is there is a horrific bias, especially in the naming of left, against left-handed people. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- the empty nest with some fluffy puppies. Yeah. She's 30 and her son's nine. And she likes her dogs better than she likes her own son.

She thought initially that when they got the dogs, it would be a surprise for her son. But then she's actually like, likes them more than she likes her own kid now. And she spends more money and more time with her dogs than her nine-year-old son. Right. They've got 400-pound lounge beds, 250-pound Swarovski crystal collars,

and they get grooming all the time. Sometimes their treatments can cost up to 200 pounds a month, and her son has had to go back to 10-pound haircuts. Who's outed her? Not the son. The nine year old wouldn't have gone to the press, would he?

So she signed her dogs up to a animal agency because she believed them to be so amazing that of course they'd be great for... Yep. But meanwhile,

her son never thought to sign him up to anything. Yeah. And I guess it's just through that and the Instagram that people started asking questions and she was more than happy to answer the questions that made her look like a terrible mother. Wow.

And now she's getting roasted online. Yeah, right. That's the A to Z of her situation. I would have expected that from a mum whose teenage kids had moved out of home. Yeah. And she needed something else to mother. She dozed on them and they were away and she had separation anxiety and she out of home. Yeah. And she needed something else to mother. She dozed on them and they were away

and she had separation anxiety and she had all this loving maternal energy to burn and then she gets a dog and it gets all the treats. But people, and having just, you know, purchased a whole lot of cat stuff for Mr. Fluffington, you can spend some money. He is a major, not a mister. He worked hard for that military title.

Major. You don't call him Mr. Murray Fluffington. He worked hard for that military title. You don't call him Mr. Murray Fluffington. He's Major Murray Fluffington. Or having NZMI or whatever you get from the Queen's birthday. Well, having gone to the pet stores, you can drop some serious cash on pet stuff. And people do spend a lot of money on their pets. Thousands and thousands of dollars.

I don't have a child, but I can't imagine loving it more than my dog. My dog's like a little prince. He just can do no wrong. Yeah, I used to enjoy having pets, but then you have kids and you're like, ah, these pets are just eating. The pets get forgotten, don't they? Yeah.

Where's your drawing for the fridge, dog? Huh? Yeah. No, but those drawings are never good, are they? Megan's long said that her kids' drawings will never be on the fridge until they're actually up to standard. I have a pretend fridge in the garage. I'll be like, oh, this thing on the garage fridge, the special fridge.

The one where, you know, we don't want a burglar coming in here and stealing all this art. Yeah, that's a good one. In the garage, they won't. That's a good one. Phew, they can steal everything else, but they just can't steal this precious animal. Yeah.

But I was wondering if anybody listening has a parent that is pampering their pets more than them and they're biological, you know, your mother grew you. Yeah. Birthed you, raised you, and now she spends more money, time or energy on an animal than you. Yeah. And maybe you're a little jealous.

How much money are your parents dropping on the pets? A UK woman is in the news for pampering her pets, spending more money and loving her pets more than her own nine-year-old son. We want to know about your parents and how far they go for the pets. Tony, good morning. What does your mum do? Hi. and how far they go for the pets. Tony, good morning. What does your mum do? Hi, my mum heats up a wheat sack in the morning for the cat and she's got like this special cat bed

that she'll go and stick it in and put the cat in there before she makes Dad's cup of tea in the morning. Oh my God, the cat gets the wheat bag before. That's chilly. I was going to heat up the wheat bag for Leo's bed the other night because it's cold. No, no, no, no, no, no. He loves the wheat bag. No, no, no, no, no, no. He loves the wheat bag.

No, wolves. Wolves are the common ancestor. They live in snowy conditions. They don't want. He's a lover, not a fighter. Did you, but did mum ever give you a wheat bag in the morning if you were cold? No, she wouldn't. She just does it for the cat.

That's amazing. Brilliant. Tony, thanks for your call. All right. Somebody messaged in saying, my parents have 100% definitely spent more money on tropical fish than they ever spent on me or my siblings. That's weird.

So don't love you back. The fish? Yeah. Yeah, you can't cuddle a fish. And said, my mum always gives the dog the front seat when we go in the car and we have to sit in the back. Like an Uber. Yeah.

The co-pilot that can chew its own ass up front. We're talking about if your parents have all of a sudden started loving their pets more than you. I mean, that's a hard, I personally can't speak from experience. My parents love me more than anything. You're the favourite son, aren't you? Favourite amongst the children and even more favourite including the animals. Because their pets keep dying on them. But guess who's still alive, baby?

Old Vaughan Smith. This guy. Like a weed. Like a weed. Can't stop him. You think he's gone? He's back. You're the second favourite child.

How do you feel about that? They've only got two children. Yeah. No, I'm first favourite. No, you're second equal with your brother, that bloody awful canary your mum's got. She loves that canary. First place.

Steppening. Somebody said, does it also count if it's your partner? Because my girlfriend bought her dog a $250 leather collar for his birthday and I got a $20 cotton on voucher. Oh my God. There is a major discrepancy there between gifts.

I would not be happy about that. Growing up on the farm, one of our dogs got groomed, whereas we got our hair cut with the sheep shearing shears. But that was just Dad. Mum cried when she saw that haircut. Right. Nikki, you've got a parent that loves their pet more than you um no it's actually me i love dogs more than more than i love it how much i think you're allowed to say that. No, what I've done is I've actually opened up an Airbnb just for dogs. Wait, can the humans stay?

Like, can I bring my dog and stay too? Yes, it's an Airbnb for dog owners so that dog owners can come along and dogs stay with them and they get to sleep in the room with them and they get their own little towel and bedding and little treats on the pillow and a little toilet bag on the pillow as well. Oh my God, that's so cute. And they are a valued guest and it's called Doggy Bed Break. Oh, that's pretty cute.

I love it. It's really cute. And they've got fields and ponds to play in and bush, native bush to explore. That's pretty cute. Because a lot of Airbnbs don't let dogs a lot of Airbnbs, do they? So that's quite nice. No, they don't. And that's a real shortage.

If you want to travel with your dog, it's impossible to find somewhere. Yeah, you're right. So I wanted to create a special place just for dogs and their owners. That's very cool. That's a gap in the market. Do you judge the dogs? Because Megan's dogs are quite a ratty little thing. Excuse me?

Well, no, all dogs are awesome. At the moment, I've got two Rotties and a Rottie Bordeaux and a Griffin in the car. Oh, wow. One extreme to the other. A Rottie Bordeaux sounds like a cheese. I'm going to pick up a star pay. I love your energy, Nikki.

Yeah, she gets it from the doggies. They make you happy, right, Nikki? What's that? The doggies make you happy. Oh, my God. They just bring so much joy into your life, and it's unconditional love. Yeah, see? Yeah, they're pretty. Well,

if you want to support a local and you need to go away for the weekend and you want to take your dog. Yeah, I'm up in Hawthorne. Yeah, up in Hawthorne. And so if you bring your dog, you can go to Matakana Markets and go to Omaha Beach and bring your dog and they stay in your room and it's just, yeah, like a little homestay

but a luxury of an Airbnb. What's the name again, Nikki? Doggy Beds Break. Cute. Thank you, Nikki. Have a wonderful day. I will. You too, guys.

See ya. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.