ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 28th October 2020

Episode Date: October 27, 2020

2020 Baby Names  Fancy Knickers  Top 6  Don't get Fletch Started!  Megan's Big News!  Am I a Bad Person?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!Jared's Gym RomanceSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Fauna Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe Coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app as Megan pays her taxes and staff online for the cafe. Last week of doing that, as you'll hear in this podcast, Megan makes a big announcement that she sold the cafe to have a baby. And it's all very exciting stuff, but then the owner shared that he had bought a cafe. And I was like, no, that's mine. And I suddenly was like, oh. Oh, no, you can't play like that, mate. That's what was sad. It's done, isn't it? It's done.

You've run a successful business. And now you've given it to someone else. And they get to take it over and run it. Yeah, but it's my baby. You don't have it back. It's not. Yeah, OK. It's stressful.

But it's like, oh, OK. Yep, you can have it now. Did you want to keep running it while you had a baby? No, actually. It does sound hard. Yeah, like it sounds hard even when you didn't have a baby coming and you still had this job. Yeah.

No, it would be nice to have a sleep in. Oh, and thanks to everyone for supporting us. Nice to have a sleep in. When are you going to fit that in? Working morning radio or when you've got a baby? No, in the couple of weeks between. Oh, in the weekends. Yeah, right.

Christmas. Nice. No, your body will do this neat thing where it won't let you. Sleep. Yeah. So we've organised, we're going to brunch after the show on Friday at Megan's Cafe. And Fletch seems to think that he's going to get freebies. I'm going to give it a terrible review.

It's happening. Oh, it's not mine anymore. No. But we will be getting a free slice, I believe. That has been floated. Megan, any word? And a heavily discounted brunch. No, that's not happening.

I'm still taking the money from that day. Okay. We'll remember this when we run our business and Megan wants something free. I'd love to see the day. I mean, you float all these ideas, but none have come to fruition. Our business, of course.

Now, we had our home detective business, Slick and Eagle. Yeah. Yeah. How much money did that make? None. None yet. Proxy, bono.

Pro bono. Pro bono. Pro bono. Which is not where you like the lead singer from U2. No. It's where you do charity work, basically, with your skills. And then House of Hutton. How much money did that make? Well, we should have copyrighted the fluffy dress, because that's been everywhere since.

That's gone everywhere. I've seen that everywhere. The loofah dress. Yeah. Oh. I've got a whole lot of Hessian sacks left after the hungy disaster. We could start making clothes out of those. You're certainly not selling a Hungy company, are you?

Actually, no, not in any hurry, sir. No. ZM. Head music lives here. Fleece, Fawn and Megan, the podcast. Welcome to the show, Fleece, Fawn and Megan. Thank you. Happy Wednesday, which feels like a Tuesday because of the long weekend.

Are we going to do this every day? Yes, we are, until Friday. Right. But then if you keep doing that, next week's going to feel real long. No, I won't do it next week. No, no, I know you shouldn't do it next week, but if you do this all week, then next week will feel long. Oh, so stop now? I reckon stop now to wean yourself off.

I might stop tomorrow. Tomorrow will be Thursday that feels like Wednesday, doesn't it? No, but you'll forget over the weekend. You always think that. Then it feels real long. Yeah. Yep. Yep.

Yep. A couple of special guests joining us in studio before 7 o'clock this morning. Jackie Van Beek and Madeline Sami are popping in. They've written a song about New Zealand for New Zealanders to encourage New Zealanders to do something new in New Zealand. God, the video's beautiful. They just got to travel all over the country just to show off, you know, all the things out there

ahead of, I'm guessing, ahead of the summer holidays. But then they're wearing the same clothes in, like, the Bay of Islands as they were in Queenstown. So I'm like, that would have been either smelly or I hope they washed them in between. I'd imagine there was some washing. Yeah. There must have been some washing. Sure.

Or you just wear it for that little part of the video and then take it off. Yeah. And then be like, leave that there. They were washing their clothes on that tour. Were there any, have you seen the video? Were there any where that you were like, oh, I should go there? So there were a couple of spots I was like, I could definitely go there. I was more trying to identify places I've been.

Yeah. I also thought, I won't bring this up with him, but I also thought the video could have done with a little note in the bottom right-hand corner as to where they were. Yeah. Oh, yeah, good idea. Because if you see something you like, how would you know? Well, maybe have you gone to the YouTube you see something you like, how would you know?

Well, maybe have you gone to the YouTube to see if there's a time code? Oh, no, I haven't. I'm sure there's probably another New Zealander who would know where that is that you could ask. Oh, hey, guys. I'm at 38 seconds. What is this location? I'll get it right on it. All right. next on the show

though, it's that time of the year where we're getting the lists of 2020. Yeah, baby names being one of them. Oh, what's most popular for 2020? Yeah. You've got to name a baby next year. Oh, I can't wait for this. Megan's like, you've never heard this name before.

I'm like, oh God, here we go. It'll be another bloody Gwyneth Paltrow Apple or whatever. No, you've heard of that. We grew to love Apple, though, as a name. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Oh, she started talking about stabbing her vagina. Gwyneth did.

Yeah. And, like, yoni eggs and mysterious goops. Everyone stopped thinking about it. And conscious uncoupling. Everyone stopped worrying about what her uncoupling. Everyone stopped worrying about what her kids were called. Didn't they? All right, well,

we'll run through this list next to you. The most popular baby names of 2020. Maybe there's a last chance. Well, maybe we'll cover. Maybe the name's on there. Maybe the name's on there. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. Yep, it's still ending quite abruptly, that song. It's still ending very abruptly. I did have a word to someone about that. It's like someone just chopped the end off. I did have a word to someone about that yesterday and it appears it has still not been fixed.

I obviously have zero pull around the office when I request a job to be done. It's just you whinge too much so people glaze over. Yeah, you've got to pick what you whinge about. You whinge about too much. I'm sorry, I'm a perfectionist in my work. Vaughan, you now have a list of the

I've got dry eyes today. I don't know what it is. They're really blurry and quite dry. Would you like some eye drops? Have you got some? No. Don't promise me eye drops if you can't deliver. You two are such a pain in the ass.

Surely there's a first aid kit we could get one of the eye masks. Oh, my God. A saline solution. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. What was that old Optrex? We always had Optrex in the house. And mum would be like, put your eye in this, tilt it back, swish it round. Whenever, just thinking about it, we'd ever wash between eye baths.

That's gross. We should have. Right. Baby names for 2020. Baby Centre is a website based out of San Francisco that deals with baby names. We've got the most popular baby names of 2020. The 100 each for each gender.

The top 100. You won't even give me a clue as to what you're calling your baby Lorenz. No. But I'm willing to back myself that it's not on that list. See, that's what scares me about this baby name. We're all going to be like, oh, yeah, cool. And then when you leave the room, we'll be like, oh, we can't believe she's named her baby that.

Yeah, but I don't see it. So you would think that, but this top 100 has some names that I wouldn't have thought would have been in the top 100. Okay. Malachi is in there. Okay. Santiago. Axel.

Santiago. Bryson. So there's some names in there that I wouldn't have thought would have been in the top 100. Oh, I tell you what, it's a four from Grace for Joshua, and it placed 75 this year. Oh, yeah. We need to give that a

beat because I went to school with like 7 Joshes. All of the Joshuas. So many Joshuas. Yeah. And there's a ton of like how many Mats do you have in your phone? Matt, Chris, Josh. Yeah. But even John's higher than Josh. Okay. Well the biblical names are always going to be up there, aren't they? Yeah, speaking of which

I'm looking at Isaiah and Luke there at place 40. Oh, overdone. Mateo is in 10. Oh, that's a cool name. That's from... Oh, has that been in a TV show? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which one? Which TV show? Riverdale. The one, give me more clues. Virgin. Jane the Virgin. Jane the Virgin, yeah. Right, okay.

Mateo's a son. Caden is nine. Oliver, eight. Lucas, seven. Grayson, six. Okay. Surprising. Grayson popping in there.

Is that from a show or something? Elijah at five. Aidan at four. Jackson at three. Noah at two. And Liam at one. Liam's, in 10 years' time, everybody's going to be called Liam.

In fact, we will have a prime minister called Liam. Put money on it. Why is that so funny? You'll be prime minister Liam. Why is that so funny? It's just funny. It's just funny. And then his Instagram

and his OnlyFans will come back to haunt him. I can't wait for it. I'm here for it. Liam Fox. Oh, no, he wasn't a Prime Minister. Liam Gallagher apparently said he wanted to be Prime Minister of the UK. Liam Cosgrove, Prime Minister of Ireland. And he was Prime Minister in the 70s.

1973, 1977. Okay. Prime Minister Liam. I don't know why you guys love that so much. I'm enjoying how much you're loving it. It's like Prime Minister Brad

or something. There would have been a Prime Minister called Brad. No, there hasn't. The name Brad has been around for ages. Prime Minister Brad. Just no. What makes ages. Prime Minister Brad. Just no.

What makes a good Prime Minister? Brad Hazard was a, no, he wants to be Prime Minister. He's in Australia. Brad Will for Prime Minister. Australia will have a Prime Minister Brad before us. Yeah, and he'll get pulled up on Mad Monday with all the NRL boys getting on the turps. So girls' names for 2020.

Mia is in at 10. Amelia and Aaliyah, 9 and 8. Aria, 7. Isabella, 6. Ava is 5. Emma is 4. Emma's one of those ones that's been in the top 10 forever. We'll go to Prime Minister Emma.

We should, we should. Prime Minister Emma? We should. Well, one day we will. Number three, Riley. Number two, Olivia. And number one, Sophia still. Okay. Yeah, Karen apparently plummeting on the list. As you'd expect.

Yeah, and Kobe. They think after Kobe Bryant, who died in January, that his name's popped up for the first time. Was that January? Yeah. Wow. Before all this nonsense happened. And we were like, wow, that's really just the most awful thing that can happen this year. Yeah. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast

ZM. We're just constantly getting stats about what we did and didn't do over lockdown. This is what we did do and I don't see a downside for this, or maybe for the bank account. Okay. But there was a rise in obviously like yoga pants and comfy stuff and

like towels that you can sleep in. Towels that you can sleep in? Blankets. Comfortable blankets. I want to hear more about the towels that you can sleep in. I think it's a big comfy like wrap yourself up after the shower. That's a robe.

Blankets, aren't they? No, you know those ones that kids have? Oh, and the beach. Yeah, because I've seen some adult ones. Like you put them on. You're a grown adult. Like you don't need that. No, they look so great after the beach.

Just put them on. You're wearing a towel. You don't need to towel yourself down. It's genius. Yeah. Just put them on. You're wearing a towel. You don't need to towel yourself down. It's genius. Yeah. I'm on board. Something else that apparently saw a massive rise worldwide is fancy undies.

I think this is more skewed towards women. Right. Or people who like women's underwear. Do guys have a version of this? Or do you just have to buy a nice pair of like Calvins or something? Yeah, I don't know. I've never taken down a man's jeans.

Well, I mean, you've taken yours down. Oh, yeah. Why can't guys be like a Lacey boxer? We'll get caught up. We went through silk boxes in the early 2000s

and they turned out to be nobody's friend. No, not silk. Like Lacey. What's the equivalent? Well, I they turned out to be nobody's friend. No, not silk. Like lacy. What's the equivalent? Oh, I imagine that would grate the balls. Yeah, I wouldn't imagine. It would be like wearing a grater.

Yeah. Horrible. You'd get like cage marks on it. Yeah, you would. Yeah, it'd be like wearing a doily. That wouldn't be good for the... It'd be like a pair of neck curtains down there. Yeah, yeah.

So, do you know La Perla? It's an expensive lingerie brand. Okay, I'm aware of Elmick, Ferson and Bendon. La Perla is the reason why Kendall Jenner stopped being a Victoria's Secret angel because she got an ambassador deal with them. Right. But it saw a 200% increase this year for fancy pants underwear. And apparently it's a worldwide trend.

Everyone's like, okay, let's get. And we're talking like not just undies and bras, like outrageous teddies and like get-ups. Oh, wow. Teddies aren't that outrageous, are they? But is it because people can't go out, they're like, well, we've got to stay at home and entertain ourselves

more. Maybe. Hmm. Huh. Hmm. And they can't they're not spending money on all that.

There hasn't been an increased amount of spending in any genders sexy undies in my house. Right. Nobody seems to be

rocking any. I did buy a new bra but I think that was out of necessity. Right. Yeah. But it goes hand in hand with like. You're remaining quiet on whether or not money's been spent on sexy frillies.

No, I have certainly not spent any money on sexy frillies. Right, okay. Maybe you should. I wonder if it would change your demeanor if you wore sexy frillies to work. Would you really feel yourself? No, I don't think I would, to be honest. Because you feel pretty fancy when you're wearing a matching set. Yeah, right.

If you're wearing matching sets, you're like, okay. I think we talked about it before, but it blew my mind when I found out girls don't wear matching undies 100% of the time. Nah. Yeah, that does me. You only wear matching undies if you think someone's going to see it. And then like. But that's like wearing odd socks. Yeah, I can't do odd socks. No one's going to see my socks if I'm wearing jeans, but I still don't see it. And then like... But that's like wearing odd socks. Yeah, I can't do odd socks.

No one's going to see my socks if I'm wearing jeans, but I still don't do it. Yeah. Have some, like, just have some decorum. Yeah. Have some respect for yourself.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Celeste Barber is an Australian comedian and she is most well-known, and for me anyway, on Instagram, where she parodies models and famous people's videos and poses, like the strange poses they do for photo shoots and stuff.

She'll parody them. Yeah. Now, she had one recently where she was doing a parody of Candice Swanepoel's photo where she was standing with her head back in the sun, holding her boob. Right. And that got taken down by Instagram because Celeste did the same pose.

How many followers? It's millions, right? Millions, yeah. And this happens all the time, but I guess Celeste can see it more clearly than others because Candice's photo remained, but the photo of her doing a parody of that was taken down by Instagram. Facebook and Instagram have got some weird rules.

Yeah. Nudity rules. And so she decided to call them out. Hey, Instagram, sort out your body shaming standards, guys. It's 2020 catch up. So they did respond to her. Apparently they apologised personally and the head of public policy

has said that the incident shouldn't have happened. The platform has apologised and would update our breast covering policies very soon to make sure all body types are treated fairly. Oh, tell me more. The breast covering policies they have. So what are the breast covering policies as they stand? So it says it's coming Wednesday today.

Right. Apparently. Under the updated enforcement policy, content where people non-pornographically hug, cup or hold their breasts will be allowed. And then the reviewers have been told to leave the content up if there's any doubt. Oh, wow. So if it's artistic,

it's meant to be like, you know, not porno. The photos up, the photos back up, the one that got taken down, because I'm just looking at her Instagram now, 7.4 million followers. That's why they've responded. Wow. Because, you know, she's got a bit of

clout. But I feel like this has been complained about for a long time. I know. I mean, good on her for like, you know, making them change it, but like... It's a bit backwards, isn't it? And it's a bit like late in the piece now. Better late than never, though. So does this mean we'll be, guys will be able to get their junk out as well?

For art, for art's sake. If it's arty? Yeah. Why don't you give it a try? Are we going to have to keep covering those with eggplant emojis in the meantime? Who do you follow on Instagram? I haven't seen a single penis covered with an eggplant emoji in my entire Instagramming. Your explore page is so different to mine. No, my explore page is literally cats. It's ridiculous.

Fleshforn and Megan, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. From the first class ZM think tank, this is the top six. Everyone wants a batch, it turns out. Excuse me. Clear my throat there. Beach towns.

Apparently, you can't list them quick enough. Yeah. Batches are being gobbled up. Lucky for some. Beach towns. Apparently, you can't list them quick enough. Yeah. Batches are being gobbled up. Lucky for some. I know. I mean, everyone wants a batch, but... Imagine if you were in West Philadelphia, and you're like,

well, we can't go to Switzerland on a skiing holiday this year. I guess we'll buy a whole house. Yeah, I mean, I want one, but... I mean, we all want one. Yeah. Also, your family does have a batch that you've never invited us to. I don't get to go to it.

You know this. That's bullshit! Yeah. I haven't been there for like 15 years. Who do we need to talk to? They're not my family. I'll tell them how it is. And also, you always, it's so much better in your mind than it actually is. No, wait. Is it like old? Yeah. Those are my favourite sorts of batches.

Yeah. Sort of retro as 70s granny flats. Well, I think you have wildly misguessed the sort of batches. Sort of retro as 70s granny flats. Well, I think you have wildly misguessed the sort of batches I stayed in growing up. They were always that. What is that stuff they had on the outside? Fibre light? Fibre light? Yeah, that's what it's got on the outside. If a cricket ball hit it, it would just go straight through it.

Exactly. And it was no insulation. No. Hardwood floors. Yeah, that's a classic Kiwi batch. Oh, I'm down. That's exactly what I'd want Now that I know it's like that

I don't want to go Because I'm more of a Pahuanui waterways kind of a batch guy You You changed, man I don't know what happened to you Apparently, Whangamata And other beach towns

Are experiencing an absolute buyer boom A three-bedroom batch in Whangamata Sold for $ 1.24 million dollars this weekend what that is nuts show me the listing I missed that one

good lord that's crazy eh yeah that's people sometimes I know place somebody else

another property sold for 850,000 um and yeah it was it's valued at less than that it's kind of exceeding all expectations sold for $850,000. And yeah, it's valued at less than that. It's kind of exceeding all expectations and value, I guess, people.

Like you say, we don't know when we're going to be able to go overseas. And also, I know you're not meant to, and they said don't, but you'd totally go in a lockdown and stay there, right? Yeah. Yeah. I know they said not to, but. That's literally what everyone with a badge said. Oh yeah,

everyone did that. Yeah. I don't, I'm different. I'm different because I've got a badge. It doesn't count for me. My badge has the ability to park a boat beside it. So am I,

does that count me to be rich enough to not flout the rules? I think so. Yeah. It's not a dungan. Not my Megan's family bag. As long as you get out before the roadblocks, you're fine. Bingo. Well, I've got the top six reasons you don't want to batch.

Yeah. What do you want one of those for? Let's drive the prices down. Yeah. Number six on the list of the top six reasons you don't want to batch. Sand everywhere. Yeah. Sand everywhere.

There was always a water container out the front door you had to dip your feet in before you went inside. Yeah, but then you got wet feet and you're dragging wet feet inside. Yeah. Get an outside shower. Dude, again, the batch is not flash. You keep saying this so we won't go. Yeah. She's lying,

isn't she? It looks like that from the outside, but they've spent all the money on the inside. Right. Very luxurious on the inside. Very luxurious on the inside. But then you have wet feet inside and then you've just got hard sand.

I remember always waking up at this little beach house we used to stay at and somehow sand was in your bed. Yeah. I'm sure I had a shower

just before I got into bed but you must have picked up a whole lot of sand walking through. Number five on the list of the top six reasons you don't want to batch. Your lawn is always brown.

Nightmare. It's all that cooier grass. Yeah. That stuff sucks. It loves sandy soil though, doesn't it? Loves a sandy soil.

Loves a sandy soil. Yeah, but try it out. Just pave it and make it like a lovely outdoor area. Pave the whole thing. Yeah. And then you've got

an ant problem because ants live between the pavers. Yeah, right. Okay. That could actually be a whole thing. Yeah. And then you've got an ant problem. Because ants live between the pavers. Yeah, right. Okay. That could actually be a whole number on itself. How's about you caught a queen ant the other day for producer Jared's ant farm. Yeah, and he got rid of his ant farm. Why'd you get rid of your ant farm? I thought you

were going to be an ant farmer. I thought so too, but the ladies weren't a fan. It's not because I teased you, is it? Tender honeys. It's purely the reason, Megan. This is all your fault. I mean, it's for the best. It flew into my face. Some people have all the luck. And then I was like, ah, and I chased it around and I caught it

but then I messaged you and you're like, oh, I got rid of the ant farm. I was like, well, I've chased an ant for 10 minutes. Good fun, though. Oh, it felt like a win at the end. Number four on the list of the top six reasons you don't want to batch. You'll always have visitors. Yeah.

You'll always have visitors. How awful. Oh, bleh. This is why Megan's like, oh, not even I get to go to my batch. Doesn't want visitors. Doesn't want us to go there. Number three on the list of the top six reasons you don't want to batch. The cutlery and plates are always a mixed bag of leftovers from heaps of people's different houses. I like that

though. I hate that. No, I like that. It's so Kiwi and batchy. And you've got some of those old bone-handled British knives that can't cut anything. They're purely for spreading margarine. It's a bit wiggly. Yeah, but I just like my knife and fork to match, but it's very hard to do that.

Doesn't the lovely Simon Barnett have a place in Kainteri? Or just make friends with him. If you're not going to invite us, he's probably got a do that. Doesn't the lovely Simon Barnett have a place in Kainteri? Or just make friends with him. If you're not going to invite us, he's probably got a nicer one. His batch is probably a lot nicer. He's probably got a nicer one. He's probably got a nicer one than you. Is it the what now money?

Yeah, I mean, more professional. He's definitely more professional than Megan. More well known. More successful. More just definitely more professional than Megan. More well-known. More well-known. More successful. More just more everything, really. He's a better person? Better person, yeah.

We can wrap up that list now. You know what? We don't need your batch. We're going to stay with Simon this summer. Well, no, I'm coming too. Open up, Simon. He's probably got a jet ski too. Probably two. I know. He'll have got a jet ski too. Probably two.

I know who, I have one of those ring doorbells as well. He'll see us and be like, he'll be like, quiet. Act like that you're over witnesses. Number two on the list of the top six reasons

you don't want to batch out. Everyone expects you to get a boat. Yeah. Have you got a boat yet? Oh, no, I've got a bloody second house. It's costing me a small fortune. I don't have a boat yet. You bring the boat, person without a batch.

And number one on the list of the top six are reasons you don't want a batch. So salty. A lot of salt. It is very, very salty. Everything tastes like salt. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, very salty. Everything tastes like salt. That is today's top six. We're joined in studio by Madeline Sami, Jackie Van Beek,

who have a lovely little song telling New Zealanders more about this country. Why did you say lovely little song? Did you hear the patronising nature? I'm sorry I didn't mean it to be cancelled. Lovely little song. It's actually quite long. It's actually quite a long song. How long is it?

I think it's about two minutes 15. It's like two minutes 15. We tried to drag it out as long as possible. That's a long song these days. Everyone wants a TikTok-length song. 15-second songs are the next big thing. Like us, we were born in the 70s. Were you born in the 70s?

No. Oh, you were born in the 80s. I was born in 1980. I'm a millennial. Just, you're like... I'm like... Actually, yeah, according to some parts of the internet, I was born in 1980. I'm a millennial. Just. You're like. I'm like. Holding on to the. Actually, yeah.

According to some parts of the internet, I'm a millennial. I'm a millennial. Or an Xennial. Yeah. Xennial. Xennial. It's like that 79, 80, 81. Right.

Xennials. That's what I'm grabbing. That's what I'm holding on to. Oh, see, I'm none of that. I'm like pre-everything. What are you? I'm 76. Whoa.

What does that mean? What? Gen X? Yeah, Gen X, I guess. I'm like pre-everything. What are you? I'm 76. What does that mean? What, Gen X? Yeah, Gen X, I guess. She's a hippie man. You guys aren't saying much lately. Gen X, it's all Gen X-citing. It seems to be the boomers versus the millennials in Gen X are just sitting back being like, yeah, we've got our houses.

Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Oh, but you know, tough, tough times out there. We've all got a lot of kids, us guys at the moment. We're tired. Yeah, you're like like let them fight. No no the thing about our generation is that we're just

not on the internet as much as boomers and millennials are so you just don't hear about us. Right. Because we didn't grow up with it see.

Yeah and you didn't like fully embrace it and stuff. Yeah man you know what I'm saying. Just living in the now hashtag look up you know what I'm saying.

Hey look we're here to promote intergenerational peace and New Zealand. Yeah. How long did the filming take? Because the video is amazing. You guys go to all the New Zealand spots. It's so incredibly short.

12 days. Wow. Yeah. It was an amazing 12 days, actually. That's a ripping. It was a tour. It felt like a musical tour. We literally jumped in a van with a whole team, camera crew.

We had a couple of vans maybe. Yeah. And we travelled the length of the country and we'd jump out and we'd film a bit and then we'd jump back in. We'd, you know, sing songs and tell stories. It was really, it did feel by the end of it like we were a touring band. Favourite spot over those 12 days? And it's all right to pick one.

You're not going to like offend the rest of the country. You didn't pick I think for me it was Kaikoura oh Kaikoura oh same she's always saying the same things

that I say same thing yeah because in the video we had fish and chips and crayfish and shellfish at that little caravan

you did too as well yeah beautiful Ninsbins Ninsbins Ninsbins yeah Kaikoura is one of those places where I think growing up,

I've spent a lot of time driving through or stopping and then passing through quite quickly. But we actually got to spend a few hours there. Well, we spent a night there. Yeah, and a night there. So we had dinner and then woke up the next morning and the sunrise was like insane. I just have never spent that much time there.

And I was like, I've got to come back here and actually. I think it's the epic nature of the ocean and the mountain range being in the same small town. It's like, this is insane. This is where it all collides. Yeah, when you're driving in, there's a corner. I remember as a kid coming around a corner and you just get this snowy mountains down, like farmland, road, ocean. Then you know how deep that goes.

And then getting to have fish and like chips and crayfish for breakfast was pretty lush as well. That's why Kaikoura's got a gout problem. Very rich foods. Did you get to anywhere that you hadn't been before? Because this video is like kind of a to-do list really, isn't it, for Kiwis? Yeah, I hadn't really spent much time out on the Otago Peninsula

and we went out to what? I can't remember. The pyramids? The pyramids. The pyramid little mountain-y things? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You take a right, you head out towards Portobello and then you kind of take a right,

is what I'm remembering from 5.30 in the morning. And then, yeah, at dawn we were standing on top of these beautiful like natural pyramids and that was stunning. I'd never been out there. It was stunning. It was also the coldest place we'd been. It also didn't make the edit. I had a look

at that video and I was like, that really cold, beautiful place is not in the music video. It took me a long time to get the feeling back in my hands after that shot. Which didn't make the edit. Which you both don't sound upset about at all. That's when you wake up early and you're really cold. You're doing that.

That's for the love of it. It doesn't matter if that doesn't make the effort. What I'd suggest to the rest of New Zealand is maybe head out to the pyramids at like 10.30am where it's nice and get out of it, have some lunch and then head out to the pyramids. Don't go at 6 when you need to get your drone shot and it's windy.

That was a new experience for me. That was beautiful. And I had never been to Hobbiton and I really we didn't get time to go to the pub we didn't get to go to the pub I could see the pub

the tavern what is it the dragon the green dragon tavern the green dragon yeah amazing we did not we could see it but we couldn't

we didn't have time to get there so yeah but it was huge like it was a lot bigger than I thought it would be you know

I could live there I reckon oh yeah well you can see the video and all New Zealand has to offer and I mean you're not going anywhere else than I thought it would be. You know, I could live there, I reckon. Oh, yeah. Well, you can see the video in all New Zealand has to offer. And I mean, you're not going anywhere else. So yeah, try something new in New Zealand. Yeah, go on.

Get out and about. Get out and about. Jackie and Madeline, thanks so much for coming in. Thank you. Yeah, bro. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

And still, have we heard from Guy Montgomery, comedian? No, so we've had the unread message on Messenger and also a call has gone through to voicemail, I believe. Yeah. Executive intern Anya. Even his voicemail's funny. Is it?

Well, maybe if he doesn't show up, we can just ring and listen to that. Okay. Are you joking? No, absolutely not. I'm absolutely not joking. But that's like someone to look forward to because I want to know what makes a good voicemail.

Oh, it's Cracker. Okay, well, I'm excited now. In fact, yeah, I'm probably more excited to hear his voicemail. But hey, sure. Tim Batt wouldn't have let us down. Woody, Guy Montgomery's off-sider and podcast co-host. Tim Batt would have been right on it. At the moment, well, yesterday,

Indy is in, my oldest daughter is in the school production. Okay. She's in Chitty Bang Bang. Oh, cute. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Yeah. How cool is that? We're going to see it on Thursday night.

I can't wait. Because I remember Chitty Bang Bang when I was a kid, but hadn't watched it for years, and then re-watched it when she said she was doing it for a musical. I was like, this is a trip. But Dick Van Dyke, such a good man. Is that the one with Nazis in it?

No, that's Sound of Music. Sound of Music's Nazis. The flying car? Bulgaria, yeah, there's a flying car. Chitty Bang Bang's the magical car. And they go to Bulgaria

and there's no children and there's the kid catcher, which has been voted like the scariest movie villain. Oh, okay. But he wasn't that scary. How do they make the car fly in this production?

I don't know, but so at one stage the car turns into a boat. And apparently yesterday, the school watched it. And some little kid, when the car was a boat, some kid was like, they're walking the car. Really? Indy said everybody cracked up laughing because this kid thought he'd absolutely cracked the code.

Yeah. But so last night just a casual dinner Indy wasn't there and there was a whole lot of rushing around swimming lessons etc.

So it was just like scrambled eggs for dinner and See I rate eggs for dinner. I'll quite often do a dinner omelette. Love a dinner omelette or a scramble.

Well you get a dinner scramble it's great. Yeah. So Oh bloody what is it? My food, WAP or whatever. You're right.

My food, WAP. Do you mean WOOP? WOOP. Yeah, whatever it's called. Oh, my God. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you did.

My food, WAP. Seven days a week. Certified freak. Whatever it's called called those wet ass potatoes there's like five different you're always having one of those food boxes I'm like

look just have some scrambled eggs once in your life for dinner you're not too good for it okay so the scrambled eggs were made

and they were sitting at the table and August was like I need salt and pepper I was like okay you know where it is and she went and got the salt and pepper. I was like, okay, you know where it is. And she went and got the salt and pepper. And then she didn't finish all of her eggs and I did the dad thing.

I was like, give them here. I'll finish them. And I went, August, how much salt did you put on this? It was the saltiest. Like, I don't even know how she ate it. It was so covered in salt. But is that how she always? Well, she seasons her own food with salt.

And she's like... And I was like, do you have it that salty every time? She's like, that's how I like it. No wonder you drink like three glasses of water or milk during dinner. You're over-salting it. She's like, that's not over-salting. I was like, you'll have a heart attack now. I shouldn't have said

that because that freaked her out. Because then we watched that paramedic show. They went and stayed with mums in the holidays and mum watches every conceivable paramedic show there is. Really? Yeah, and there's this one set in Australia that's on

Tuesday nights on one and I think it's called Paramedics, and they must have watched, because Mum will My Sky everything, and then watch like four episodes in a row. It's her version of Netflix binging. Right. She has to fast forward the ads.

She fast forwards the ads. Okay. And I don't know if you know this, but you just fast forward four minutes, Vaughn. You watch the little clock down in the corner, four minutes. So then after, there was a woman having a heart attack on the paramedic show

and I just said to August, you can't have too much salt, you'll have a heart attack. Just as like a reason to put her off your salt. So that freaked her out. Well, maybe that's enough to work. But she said that that's just how she likes food. Like, I was like, it's too salty. Yeah, because you know when you accidentally

over-salt something or maybe the hole on the salt shaker is bigger than you anticipate and you ruin your dinner. I know, yeah, but she had it salty. But then Sade said, I've got to stop because apparently I do this.

Our friend Jana used to have steak well done and we went out for a meal and I refused to let her order it. She's like, I'll have a steak well done. I was like, stop. Don't write that down. Don't write that down. She doesn't have a steak well done. I'm not dining with someone'll have a steak well done. I was like, stop. Don't write that down. Don't write that down. She doesn't have a steak well done. I'm not dining with

someone who has a steak well done. Bring her a medium rare steak. And this waiter was like, I was like, I know for a fact the chef's not back there wanting to cook a well done steak. It's a waste of meat. She'll have medium rare. That's her choice. It's not. You are such a pain in the arse when it comes to that. Yeah. You bullied your friend.

I bullied my friends and now she eats medium rare steak. She understands the... Right. I don't bow down to your bullying. Knock it down to a rear. Don't get the salad. You're getting it... You always get a salad.

But that's meat. Somebody else is paying for your meal and you get a salad? Oh, that's the worst. You underappreciate how good a salad can be. Ah, yeah, sure. Get a salad as a side, Megan, but you've got to have some sort of... I'm not even saying meaty, but it's got to be a big dish. When we go out for a free lunch and you order a salad,

Vaughn and I just look at each other like, come on. Yeah, but when we go out for a free lunch, they're bougie salads. They've got, like, fancy stuff in them. Sure, as a side. As a side, yeah. As a side, what a lovely side. Order something expensive. Yeah.

So I would like to know, on behalf of my daughter who likes salty food and my friend who liked well-done steak, not anymore. Yeah. If there's some aspect to your meal that people always criticise. Or like with Megan getting a salad. We're always like, get something to eat. You know, sauces get, they get criticised. People that over-sauce.

Tomato sauce on everything. Oh, you're without tasting something. Sweet chili sauce. I'm more of a, I'll put that on everything. Yeah. But no one really criticized. Oh, you just scoffed at me. Yeah.

You're basic. I hot sauce quite heavily and people say, do you want to taste it before you hot sauce it? Yeah. Don't sauce anything until you've tasted it. It's insulting to the chef. It is. It's making a well-done steak.

Guy Montgomery's inbound. Just wants to know where we work. He's on his way. And I think he'll be late as well after something. So he's still to come, comedian Guy Montgomery. We're talking about how people always criticise an aspect of your meal. I told my daughter she's using far too much salt last night

and she is. It was barely edible. And I also tell another friend that she's not allowed to order well done steak when dining, when we dine together. Yep.

It's insulting to the animal but it goes its life for us to eat. Amen. So we want to know what aspect of your eating is often criticised.

Yeah. We've got lots of text messages in including someone that is a criticised. Yeah. We've got lots of text messages in, including someone that is a barista. Now, they wrote barrister. Okay. But they could be a legal barista. They could be a barista that's been admitted to the bar.

Yeah. Are you sure they're not a barrister? And you can always tell them because they're wearing the wig and a Starbucks top. So they say, I'm a barrister, barista, and I find it insulting when people put sugar in their coffee before even trying it. Like they'll ask for sugar as part of the meal. Yeah, I used to be so bad at this.

I used to be really bad. Right. I'd sugar a mocha and you don't need a sugar a mocha. No, no, it's enough. Vicky, what aspect of eating in your meal are people always criticising?

Fun. So, when he was living at home with us, he used to put spiced apricot sauce on everything.

Oh, I love that sauce though. for potato salad, meat, anything. Scrambled eggs, it was just four bottles a week. Was it like a chutney? Was it like that bit potato salad, meat, anything. Scrambled eggs, it was just... Oh!

Four bottles a week. Was it like a chutney? Was it like that bit on the side sauce? Yeah, yeah, that's it. See, Vicky, I'm not seeing a problem with any of this. Mine is yum. What did you say? Four bottles a week?

Yeah, yeah, well, because he had it on everything. Oh, God, because that would be expensive, wouldn't it? Yeah. And really, you're just pouring would be expensive, wouldn't it? Yeah. And really, you're just pouring sugar sauce on, aren't you, really? Yeah, exactly. An apricot sugar sauce. Yeah. Again, I don't see... Sort of aligning though, Vicky, meth would be more expensive and worse for you.

So he's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a very good boy. Vicky, Damien, what aspect of your meal are people always criticising? I, myself, really, really, really like pies, like steak and cheese and mince and cheese pies. Okay. And I have a weird habit of how I eat them.

I like to peel the top off and eat the top and get a spoon and eat the filling and then the pastry. I used to do that when I was younger. That's savouring every aspect. If you're sitting down for a pie, but that's no way to eat a pie on the run. No, I do it all the time. What if you're driving?

On my drive to work today, I did it. Get a pie for breakfast. Do you guys not have a spare spoon sitting in your car for when you eat? No. No, but I feel like a fool for not having had one. Yeah, you do. Damien, thanks. Amy, what I feel like a fool for not having had one. Yeah, you do. Damien, thanks.

Amy, what aspect of eating and your meal do people always criticise? So I don't like my food to touch whatsoever. What? I am the butt of my family's jokes. And actually everyone I know because I like my food to sit on the plate, not touching it. Do you have one of those little kids' plates that divides everything? No, that's a regular birthday and Christmas gift.

But, yeah, I have a set of rules where hot things shouldn't touch cold things. Right. Fruit shouldn't touch meat. How do you feel about, like, a mixed veggie stir-fry, Amy? Well, things like that are meant to go together, so I've learnt to deal with that. But if I go to, say, a buffet and people just pile their salad and their meats and their seafood and their stuff

and it's all touching each other, that can actually make me hyperventilate. Really? Wow, okay. So the older I get, the more I'm trying to learn to cope with it. And I've got better and better, but I'm still like, there are so many things. I went to a function with my boss not that long ago, and she knows, obviously, about this issue.

And so we sat down at the table, and she looks at me, and I felt like I was going to burst into tears because the people around us had so much stuff all touching each other on their face. I couldn't meet her eye because she knew that I was panicking on the inside. Oh, wow. It's rather random, but yeah, it's a real thing. Do you know it's got a name?

I don't know if it's got a name, but it is real. It does. It's the fear of food touching other food is called brumotactileophobia. Really? Yeah. Well, I've got that. We have to get you back for that segment we do. I hope I'm not the only one.

Yeah. Oh, there you go. She isn't because so many people have messaged us saying they don't like their food touching and especially if someone gets like a burger, they deconstruct it and eat all the hot parts and then eat all the cold parts. Do you do that?

No, I'm not that weird because I know a burger is meant to be a burger, but I wouldn't eat pineapple on a burger because I don't think fruit should go with meat. And I wouldn't eat pineapple on a pizza. I don't think fruit and meat need to be companions. You can see that a burger is supposed to be a burger, but then you're calling people who like to deconstruct it weird.

No, I'm not that weird. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Sorry, that is the did. Oh, yeah. Sorry, that is the pot calling the kettle black. But yeah, that is a little bit extreme for me. I would still eat the burger. Totally.

Amy, thank you so much for sharing. Text messages coming in. I don't eat seafood. Nothing at all. Nothing from the sea. Nothing from the river. Nothing that's been in the water whatsoever. I get very heavily criticised for this because I'm Māori. And we have a very,

you know, when we get together for traditional feeds, it's very seafood heavy. I've actually been told by people I'm bringing shame to my family. Oh my God.

It is amazing how much people get offended by what you do and donate because I don't eat seafood either and you guys

give me all kinds of seafood. Oh, what do you want to say? It just seems a waste of time you've got that beach house. Oh my God. All that, one of your own salads. It just seems a waste of time. You've got that beach house. Oh, my gosh.

All that food right at your front door. No matter what, my fiancé will always get fries. Whenever we go for lunch or dinner, always a side of fries. I always say, you don't need fries. Yes, you do. Absolutely. What do we mean, fries? Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. I'm all get started. I'm all get started. Get started. Don't get Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. I'm all started. I'm all started. I'm all started. Don't get Fletch started. Don't get Fletch started in here. Don't get Fletch started. Don't get Fletch started in here.

Yesterday. I knew this was coming. Catching up with the lovely Celia who works here in the office. She was talking, it was her birthday. She was talking about her party that she had. And Fletch said, no, I didn't come to your party because I hate dress-ups. To her face. And he didn't even like bat an eyelid when he said it.

Oh, yeah, no. Todd said he was going. And, you know, I got the invite and stuff, but I hate dress-up parties. So I didn't even bat an eyelid when he said it. Oh, yeah, no, Todd said he was going, and you know, I got the invite and stuff, but I hate dress-up parties, so I didn't come. I was being honest. She's your friend. I'm not going to lie to her face and be like, oh, I was busy.

Oh, my kid was sick, or the cat was sick. You always say my kid's sick, and I'm like, it's not. They're always sick. They're not sick all the time. They're always sick. They're always, they're not sick all the time. They're either sick all the time or miraculously not

when there's like a Star Wars movie you've got to go to. Yes. They're not sick then are they? They know. They know when you're sick

and when you're not sick. Okay. You said to her face, no, I didn't come because I hate dress up parties. I do hate dress up parties. You essentially told her

you hate her party. Yeah. And her, by proxy. Your hate of dress-ups is stronger than your like for her. You could have a dress-up party and I wouldn't go. Well, yeah. She wouldn't have a dress-up party. I don't even like going to formal events where you have to wear a suit.

So you need to go to an event where you can stay casual. You know that I hate weddings. It's mostly because of the suit thing. Right. I feel so restricted in the tie.

I can't wear my navy blue t-shirt and navy blue hat. My uniform. Yeah. I just can't. Because it's a formal event.

Now I believe Producer Jared you're having a Halloween party which we have all been invited to this weekend. Yep.

Now might be the moment to say, I don't think I can make it. My kids are sick. Because of the dress up. My kids are sick. My feelings aren't hurt. Bourne's kids are sick, so I can't come. Yep. Yeah.

Megan, are you and Andy? I told you I'm already booked. You came in late with your invitation. Right, right. She's been very vague on where she's booked for, though. I think she's lying. It's another Halloween party. What are you going dressed as?

Well, I haven't figured it out because I was like, oh, I'm pregnant. Should I do that thing where it's like I'm an avocado and the bump's the pip. But body paint. No. Yes. Because you and Mr. Toyboy always go as like a couple's thing.

So what's he going to be if you're an avocado? Yeah, I don't know. That's what I'm saying. You can be smashed avo on toast. Yeah, he can be toast. So millennial of you. No, I haven't figured it out, which is very late for me because we always sort it out early.

But I'm not the only one when it comes to dress-up parties. I mean, I'm not a huge fan. No, just have a party. I'm only not a huge fan because I wish I had money to like go all out That's the thing like I want to hire the Weta Workshop special effects people to make me look like some kind of Halloween monster

Then I'd go to the party because everyone would be like cool but I'm not just going to go on a sheet and pretend I'm a ghost You know because that's How do you drink your drinks? You have to cut a big hole in the and then people see your face and they're like I'm not just going to go on a sheet and pretend I'm a ghost. You know, because that's... How do you drink your drinks? You have to cut a big hole in the... And then people see your face and they're like,

you're not a ghost. Just pull the sheet down and drink out of the mouth of the eye hole. Oh my God, a ghost! Oh no, I thought it was a ghost, but it's just Fletch because he's drinking his long whites through the hole in his... Don't long white shame me. Oh, I won't long white shame you.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We're joined in studio by Guy Montgomery who had the balls to message me, the sheer audacity to say, I've got an hour of comedy that I'd like to talk about on national radio. Those are not the exact words. Let me in.

And the sheer audacity to then come in once we've invited him and then mock our coffee. He pointed at my Macona coffee jar that I bring from home. He said, what did you drink that shit for? And I said, how very rude of you, sir. You guys can do so much better. There's a whole army of people outside of the studio who would kill for the opportunity to bring you a handmade coffee

and you're rolling around there's not even a teaspoon's worth of mccona in there that's how much i've been drinking it's so grim i just want the listeners to have a picture of behind the scenes it's nasty stuff you got there's three dead-eyed souls on the dregs of Makona staring into their computers between talk breaks. Just dying for some fresh energy. Some fresh air and some French press. Do you know of a better instant coffee? No, because I guess because I live a different lifestyle from you guys.

One of the big things I do is I sleep past 5 a.m. Call me crazy, but that's just something I enjoy. And so when I wake up, I will make a coffee in my house. And I'll use, well, I'll use ingredients. I won't use that. Well, what are you, French press? Yeah, we've got a French press. We've got an AeroPress.

We've got a Chemex. We've got coffee options coming out the wazoo. If I'm feeling luxuriant, I might take a stroll to the local cafe where I will pay a professional to make me a coffee using instruments I'm not familiar with. That is madness. It's a sort of luxury lifestyle that New Zealand comedy can provide. That's right.

One coffee every five days. Living the dream. So this new hour of comedy, how did this come about? So one of the big things I like to do as a comedian is my job and one of the big things that this pandemic

has made nigh on impossible for the year is my job and so I guess what's happened is there's a window of opportunity that hopefully will last forever but there's always a chance it might not to actually put together an hour of comedy I had a show prepared for the New Zealand Comedy Festival earlier in the year it was called uh well well well if it isn't the man she told you not to worry about and I was pretty excited about

this show I thought it was going to be a good show. And then everything got scrapped. And, you know, we went through several months of being in our houses. And then now we're out again. And I sort of, the lockdown was not the fruitful time I might have hoped. You know, the only thing I really learned about myself during lockdown is that it turns out the one big thing holding me back from greatness is not, in fact, time on my hands. It's actually, it turns out, yeah,

it's a perfect combination of natural ability and work ethic, which is just my luck, really. But so I've sort of, I've compiled some jokes that were going to be in the show earlier in the year and other jokes that I've written in the intervening moments. And this is its first run out here in Auckland City. I'm giving it, I had the first show last night and I got three more this week.

And the great thing is I feel like I'm in sparkling form. Okay. Yeah. You look radiant. Now I'm worried tonight's show, are you going to squeeze a nap in today? Do you know, I'm actually, I'm living in a tremendously healthy lifestyle

where I go to bed at 10am and I get up at 6.30am which means it's inexcusable that I was late Do you want to know why I was late this morning? Why? Because I was making a Chemex on the kitchen bench A good coffee

See how you would have been here on time had you put two teaspoons of Makina on top of hot water and stirred it. I would have been dripping diarrhoea as I came through the studio door. You arrived via Fiat Punto, fresh of Chemex coffee, ready to tell us about your show.

So where's the show happening in Auckland? It's at the Basement Theatre in the studio there. It's a little 65-seat room. It's on at 6.30pm tonight, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. So if you're in Auckland and you want to see it, sadly, this is the first piece of promotion I've done. I had another show on last week that I put a lot of time and energy into.

And yeah, so what I'm trying to tell people is there are tickets still available. Devastatingly for me, excitingly for you, you could bring your family. Right. Do you think you'll get in the Fiat Punto and tour the country with this? That's the plan.

I would like to sort of around February or March next year, once I've whipped it into some sort of shape, I'd like to, you know, give the Fiat Punto a bit of a look at the best of our country and take it to a variety of different cities. Because would that be a cheaper vehicle on the inter-islander? Because you pay by the lengths, don't you? That's right. Well, it depends what you're comparing it to. But yes, I mean, it would

be cheaper than the limo I sometimes drive. Or the stock truck you've been known to drive around. Yeah, yeah. I have a real fleet of eclectic vehicles. I woke up this morning and I thought, hmm, what shall I drive to Fletch Vaughan and Megan? Spin the wheel. It's Punto Day. Yeah, and the wheel is so well greased.

Another reason I was like, the wheel takes so long to get around and finally click onto the choice. Right, and it perfectly timed to how long it takes to make a Chemex coffee on the bench top. Yeah, well, yeah, that's, I don't know, that was just bad time management on my end. Okay, so tonight, Basement Theatre in Auckland. Tonight, tomorrow night, Friday night.

Facebook page for where can people go for tickets? Oh, if you look up... Like Google? Yeah, Google's great. If you look up Guy Montgomery Basement Theatre, I mean, you could not miss it. It's the only option. Guy Montgomery, thank you so much for coming you could not miss it. It's the only option. Guy Montgomery,

thank you so much for coming in this morning. Thanks for having me. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. I feel like we've brought everyone on this we ride with us that I need to give you an update on something that's happening personally.

It's very bittersweet and I'm so sorry, Fletch, but we have sold our little cafe. Yeah, this is why I'm devastated. I've got until Friday to get a free slice and a heavily discounted brunch, which is never to this day. Why are you under the impression that you'll get a heavily discounted brunch?

You never had one before. You should just not pay. You should do a dine and dash. I'll do a dine and dash and the new owner can have to deal with it. It's unacceptable that our level of friendship has not yet given me a heavily discounted brunch or free slice to this very day. I've offered you a free slice. And remember you didn't come in and get it

because I'm not bringing it here for you. It needs to remain fresh. I've gone several times and I've gone to pay and I've been charged full price every time. Do you remember last time we went and I said, does everyone want a coffee?

And you got a free coffee, everyone got a free coffee and Fitch is like, I'm okay. So don't play the victim. But I didn't want a coffee that day. Oh my God. I don't want that.

I don't want that today. I don't want that. I want that. Oh my God. So how long have you. I want that. Oh, my God. So how long have you had the cafe? One year and seven months. Is that all? Yeah, I know.

It's really felt like a long time. Especially since all over seven months of that has been during this COVID-y situation. Yeah. Man. That means you've done how many weekends of donuts? I don't know. What does that work out to be? Do you know there's only been one weekend

where I haven't made the donuts. Of that entire time? Of that entire time. Wow. What's it going to be like not going from two jobs to one? I don't know. Because what are people doing the time off? I always think that when-

When you have a weekend. I don't know what people do. I always think about that when the kids go away for a while and I get home from work and I'm like, oh my God, what does Fletch do all day? And I walk around for a bit. That's what he has a great time. And then I'm like, oh, that's right. I've got lots of things to do.

I mow lawns and I do chores. And I just imagine you just sitting there just being like, ah. Absolutely. Feet up, ah. So I went to the beach yesterday. It was great. Oh, lovely.

Who did you go to the beach with? I went for a bike out to the beach. Oh, right. Yeah, just by myself. Sat on the beach? It was great. What do you think about when you're at the beach? Just how long are you going to sit there before you go home?

Yeah, yesterday I was thinking about seagulls. Or what about them? Just I just don't like them. But you never see baby ones? Yeah, yesterday I was thinking about seagulls. Or what about them? Just, I just don't like them. That you never see baby ones? Oh my God, you don't. Cliffs. Yeah. Apparently they live in cliffs.

That's why you don't see them. Unless you're a cliff frequenter. Right. Right. So, obviously because you're having a baby, you've decided that having a baby, one job and a cafe is too much. Yeah, something you had to give. So the thing that takes up most of our time.

We were kind of hoping you'd give this one up. You bitch. Rough. I obviously was joking. I don't want to do any more. I don't want to even, that's not funny. I don't want to joke about that. I don't want to have to do any more.

You don't have to want to do any work. Getting by doing minimal to even, that's not funny. I don't want to joke about that. I don't want to have to do any more. You don't have to want to do any work. Getting by doing minimal. Because you'd have to do the latest as well. No, thanks. He loves that. That sounds hard. Some days that really sounds like a stress you're making out. You wait till Megan's on maternity leave.

You wait till Megan's on maternity leave. All right, Vaughn, you've got the latest. There's a Star Wars trailer. No, Vaughn. No, it would be I could do that yeah you could I could change it

yeah yeah episode recaps okay but yeah we've had lots of people devastated about the donuts and stuff

but like there's a new owner everything is gonna stay the same name and stay the same it's just we won't be in charge of it what are all these cougars going to do

when they're going to see Mr. Toyboy? I know. He's already had comments on his gram being like, oh, miss your smiling face. I'm like, who dat? Who dat? Who dat? Who's this 80-year-old woman?

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Am I a bad person? Okay. This is a sticky situation someone has found themselves in. They remain anonymous, but here it goes. We need your help as well to judge this person. Yeah. Are they a bad person?

I'm really good friends with a couple. I get on with both the guy and the girl really well. On the weekend, me and my mate went out as he was wingmanning me. What's the difference between not really flirting and having great bands? I would have thought that's a fine line, isn't it? Yeah. Is there like any kind of like touching or like lingering smiles? I don't know. I feel like you'd be able to tell if you were there.

Yeah. Whether it's flirting or not. So I thought he'd leave, but when I woke up in the morning, he was still there and had slept in the same bed as this girl's flatmate. Wow, okay. I did hit him up about it and asked what happened. He assured me that they didn't get together, said it was just because of logistics.

They didn't have a couch. He was in a sleeping bag. I do believe him when he says they didn't get together, but I still think it's shady as that they shared a bed. He said he'd had a fight with the missus, so didn't want to call her and was too tight on money at the moment to get an Uber home to the other side of town.

He isn't going to tell his girlfriend about this, but I reckon he should. She should probably know. But on the other hand, I don't want to go behind his back and cause drama. But of course, he's friends with the girlfriend too. Oh, yeah. Am I a bad person if I go along with that and he wants to keep it from her?

He's got to be more friends with him, right? Was he friends with him first? It doesn't matter. You're in a friendship now. Yeah. But then like... But you've got to take his word for it. It's very fishy.

Where was the couch? Surely they had a couch. You sleep on the couch. Yeah, no mention of the couch not being an option. Very fishy. There's just no way. He knows there's no way he can sell that to his girlfriend. But we're not debating whether or not that dude's a bad person.

No. The sleeping bag, logistics, too poor for an Uber, had a fight with a missus, like pile of excuses. Nothing happened. But I've given you 18 reasons why, if it had, it wouldn't have been a bad thing. Yeah. But we're not debating that. We want to know if the friend should I guess tell her. Tell the girlfriend. Given that he said at the start

I get on well with both of them. We're all really good friends. So is he a bad person for not telling her? Keeping the secret. I don't think so. Because I don't like drama and confrontation. So I'd be happy. You would avoid it by just

not saying anything. Yeah, I'd be happy to take him. I'd be happy to, this is his one part, his one little, you know, indiscretion. But then what happens if she finds out somehow? Yeah.

And she knows that you know. I'd just be like, oh my God, I thought he told you. You've got to take his word for it. Oh, I'd totally throw him under the bus. But, like, he said he told you. Yeah. 100%.

Yeah. You'd lie too well. You're stone-faced, Bette. And then he'd be like, what? No, I didn't tell you. And I'd be like, you told me. You told her. Yeah.

And now you're lying to both of us. This is unbelievable. Oh, my God. Where do the lies stop, man? Where do the... I don't know about you. I'm going to leave you two to it. I can't even look at you right now. I'm so angry. Both of us. This is unbelievable. Where did the lie stop, man? I don't know about you. I'm going to leave you two to it.

I can't even look at you right now. I'm so angry. Get yourself out of the situation. Yeah. I don't think he's a bad person. I mean, the boyfriend shouldn't have put himself in that position at all. You can't cover up someone's bad behavior if you're someone's friend. I don't reckon.

So you think he's a bad person for not telling the girlfriend? Yeah. You do? Not a bad person. Just he needs to... He's the less bad person. Megan, the segment isn't called, am I the less bad person? It's called, am I a bad person? Yes or no?

Or he needs to give him an ultimatum and be like, you need to tell her. Yeah. But now it's too late. There's been time. It sounds dodgy. It does sound dodgy. Should have been told on Sunday morning. You know what?

I'm going to put my hands up and back out of it because it's not my relationship. Well, 0800-DARLS-IT-M, we want to hear from you this morning. Is he a bad person? Yeah, for not telling his friend, which is also his friend's girlfriend what went down maybe you've been in a similar situation where uh you knew you knew this

yeah you knew what went down and maybe you did or you didn't say something am i a bad person so this comes from a guy who is friends with a couple. So he went out, went home with a girl and the friend went along with him and got along really well with a flatmate, ended up staying in her bed even though he has a girlfriend, but in a sleeping bag. But also, like, if you're in the bed, you don't need the sleeping bag, right? No, that's to say that you're on top and you weren't under the covers together. Rubbish.

But who was watching you the whole night? Yeah, exactly. And did we see the sleeping bag on the bed? Very fishy. Why don't you use the sleeping bag on the couch? Yeah, or on the floor. So the friend wants to know, is he a bad person for going along with the lie and not telling the girlfriend? Even though he's friends with the girlfriend.

Yeah. So, Alana, what do you think? Is he a bad person? Hey, guys. It's hard to know if they cheated or not, but I was in the exact same situation. Yeah. And all I know is the person who told me

that my partner at the time was being shady is still now one of my best friends and came to my wedding with my current husband this year. So he is no longer friends with that person and I think that always just stay on the non-shady side. That's a deal. But we're hearing from a lot of people who are saying they were the messenger and they got shot. No, he's still one of my best mates. I respected him so much for standing up to his friends and they lived together and were best friends for years.

But he did not want to be on the wrong side of things. And yet he and I are super close still years and years later. Wow. Okay, brilliant. Alana, yeah. Stay on the right side of the shadiness. Thanks, Alana. Mel, what do you think?

Is he a bad person for not telling the girlfriend? My first gut instinct would be absolutely tell them. But if he is trying to figure out, like, logistically, if it's worth telling them, I would hit up the, you know, the flatmate that you stayed with yourself and say, hey, what did your mate say went down? You know, like, get the full-on logistics off her. Because as much as people think girls don't talk,

they're going to know more that we're not. She's not in a relationship, so it's not her that's, you know, crossed a line. Well, you know what? Girl code, you have crossed a line, but maybe she didn't know. So get the intel from the females. Yeah. Mel, thanks for your call.

Hayley, what do you think? Is her bad person for not telling the friend, the girlfriend? Yeah. I've been in this situation, and yes, I would tell. I told the girlfriend because, same as the other girl, I thought, like, girl code, you would tell them. Yeah. But then in that situation, it didn't end up like that,

and the messenger got shot. Yeah. Yeah, that seems to be the more common story on the uh text machine as well people text messaging and saying they were faced with this dilemma and ended up telling the person they were the one that that wore it chastised do people come around in the end like initially you get shot and then later they're like okay i'm really sorry i understand when they get cheated on you know two three months down the track you're like oh yeah you should, I should have listened, actually.

But I didn't, did I? No, I didn't. Thanks, Hayley. Jenna, what do you think? Bad person or not? I do not think he's a bad person. Not your monkey, not your circus. Oh, I've never heard that one before.

I like that. Not your monkey, not your circus. Like, just stay out of the drama. It's not your drama. Oh, my God. you just, like, stay out of the drama. It's not your drama. Oh, my God. His friend is so shady. Like, as if something did not happen. Like, what bullshit.

He had too many excuses on the ready. Like, what did you do when you got to the house, dude? Did you all just sit on the floor and sing Kumbaya? That is hot foreplay, dude. Did you all just sit on the floor and sing Kumbaya? That is hot foreplay, Jenna. Like, how do we, like, roll in 2020? Like, I know it's been a hard year for us, but who does not have a couch? Love Jenna.

Or a photo. Yeah. Make a little nest in the corner with some cushions. Exactly. Yeah, like, for sure. Like, you know, you could have just put like a duvet on the floor and that would have been

better. Like, have some integrity, bro. Like, what a douchebag. And then to put your friend in the shit by being like, oh no, nothing happens. Yeah. Whatever. No matter what happens. Like, the messenger always gets shot, eh? Yeah. This is why he doesn't want

her to know, though, because this whole conversation goes down. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, honestly, like, not his circus, not his monkeys. Stay out. And then, like, when push comes to shove, hopefully the girlfriend, like, will just be like, I'm disappointed you didn't tell me, if she finds out.

But you've got to respect his position too because it's really hard being in his position. It's not fair. But, you know, oh, man. Stay out. Brilliant. All right, Jenna, amazing. Thank you.

You'd say what text message-wise, what would the percentage be? It's either stay out of it. Yeah. Because it's not going to end well for you anyway because you could tell her and she's like, well, how long have you known?

Yep. And why did you take this long to tell me? Or she's going to not believe you, confront the partner, believe him. Yeah. And you're going to get

shut out in the cold anyway. I'd say the majority of people are saying just stay out of it okay and he's not a bad person for not telling yeah okay

someone said to their mate I don't care if anything happens that's not how you treat people I'm not going to bring this up again but if it if I hear of it happening again oh yeah that's good oh yeah right

because you've got to pull your mate in line yeah it's just yeah good call just disrespectful to someone you're in a relationship with yeah yeah

hmm Flesh, Vaughan and Megan the podcast ZM Yeah, it's just disrespectful to someone you're in a relationship with. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the origins of a word. Oh, okay.

I quite like these Fact of the Days. What is it when you study the origins of the word? One is, it sounds like it's a similar word to the study of bugs. I'll start with a... Bugology. Nope. Entomology. Entomology is one of them. And epitomology is the other.

Oh, okay. Entomology. Entomology. I feel like entomology is the bugs because it sounds like you're saying ant in a funny accent. Phrasology? No. No. Both sound as gripping as each other.

So this one's about the origins of the word deadline. Oh, yeah. Etymologies. Etymologies. Etymologies, yeah. Is that bugs or words? No, that's the study of phrases. Okay.

Entomology. So it's not the ants. It's the study of phrases. Okay. Entomology. So it's not the ants. It's the other one. Deadline. Something to do with the war. It is a war. Oh. Yeah.

It was a line that if you crossed it, you'd be dead like the front line, like above the trenches. That's the deadline. No. Is that? Oh, no, I don't know. It is a line that you cross That would result in your death But now Tripwire

Deadlines just means You've got to have something done By a certain time You've got deadlines to make So I guess it was to make it sound like You've got to have this done By 5pm Friday That's your deadline

Like Otherwise you die If you go over that line Yeah it's going to be The death of this company Like everything very You know It's supposed to sound so dramatic

The original deadline was In the American Civil War. Oh, yeah. A guy, a Swedish man, Henrik Wise, went to the Confederates. So that was the southern states of America. The bad ones. That wanted the slaves and everything. Yep. That fought in the American Civil War.

He set up one of the most gruelling prisoner camps. It was just this massive open paddock, but the paddock had huge walls around it. Now, there was a line inside of that wall on the ground called the Dead Line. So if you stepped over that line towards the wall, you'd be killed by one of the guards in the guard towers. So you weren't even allowed near the wall.

You weren't allowed to lean on the wall. They thought if people got too close to the wall, it might make escape easier. What if you tripped over the deadline? Gone. It was an accident. But didn't they have those guns that they have to push the stuff in? The muskets.

Yeah, so I reckon you'd have a couple of seconds to get back over the line. And then just disappear into the crowd and where's Wally at? Like he's looking down and you're just standing there with your red and white striped hat and glasses on being like, whoa, could be anybody. And the guy in the guard tower is like shoving in the gunpowder with his stick. And then he's looking down, he's like, I can't see Wally. I can see the dog and the wizard, but I can't see the guy that crossed the line. So yeah, quite like an intense original meaning for deadline,

which now we're kind of like, oh, that deadline's passed. I've got a deadline. Yeah, meh, I missed the deadline. That sort of casual attitude towards it, but it had a very serious beginnings. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is the original deadline was a line that if you crossed in a prison,

it resulted in your immediate death. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. In 2019, New Zealanders consumed more than 140 million chicken McNuggets. Oof. 140 million. At 9 o'clock very soon, there will be a giveaway of 1 million McDonald's chicken McNuggets. And this sounds too good to be true, right? So we're going to the source. We're going myth-busting.

Yeah. Head of Communications for McDonald's New Zealand, Simon Kenny, joins us. Hello, Simon. Morning, guys. How are you going? Good. Hungry.

We talked to you during the lockdown, didn't we? Yeah, we sure did, yeah. That's right. I remember because we needed some facts. Yeah. So this isn't a lie. This is happening. No, we were actually going to do it back in August.

And then that moved back to level two, like, was the day before we were going to do it. So we knew we had to postpone and do it again. So today's the day. Right. So how do we get our hands and how many are we allowed at once? A lot of questions are coming in. Don't lie. those are your questions.

Yeah, you need the Maccas app on your phone and everyone gets a free six pack. So if you turn up drive-thru or in the restaurant with the app, you can get a free six pack. That's how it's working for everyone. What if I'm just troubleshooting here, I go through the drive-thru and then I go into the store?

With a moustache. With a moustache. Well, you'd need a couple of versions of phones or something because it'll burn on the app once you've used it. This is one per phone. A family of four, mum and the three kids or dad and the three kids

can't come in and get four six-packs? That's right, yeah. It'll just depend on how many, like, if mum and dad both had their phones, they could. But yeah, it's there, yeah. Yeah, good luck with that, Simon. I've got four kids here, they all want a six-pack. Are we expecting, like, traffic jams?

I don't know. I reckon there'll be, we think there'll be parts of the day when it'll be busy, like obviously lunchtime, maybe after school and then dinner. There's not going to be any left by then. Sweet, sweet Simon.

Come on Simon. So it starts at nine o'clock. There's not going to be any left by midday, surely do you reckon? We're not sure. It depends how many people come out. There'll definitely be keen people. There's always some people

queuing. Simon, I'm giving it till 20 past nine, Simon, and there'll be none left. This is New Zealand. Three nugs.

Yeah. If those queues when we reopened after level four or anything to go with, then yeah, there might be a few busy drive-thrus.

Do you have any stats? Is there a part of the country that's big on the Nug more than any? Yeah, I had a look and actually if anyone's from Dunedin, Andy Bay in Dunedin looks like so far this year. It's the nugget capital of New Zealand at the moment. Really? That's surprising because that's a bit further out for the other side of Studentville, isn't it? I would have thought. Yeah, Andy Bay is a bit further out for the other side of Studentville, isn't it? I would have thought.

Yeah, yeah. Andy Bay is a pretty big restaurant for us. Lincoln Road in Auckland looks like it's busiest one for nuggets in Auckland. And then I had a look around Hastings is really big, but that's a big restaurant anyway, and Frankton and Hamilton. So I'm in bottom down. So probably, yeah, the top five. So yeah, people in the deep south definitely like chicken nuggets.

How many, I'm just doing some quick maths here. I went a million divided by six because that's how many are in each pack. How many McDonald's stores are there in New Zealand? There's 170 restaurants. 170? Yeah, we normally serve about 1.6, 1.7 million people a week. Oh, God. We serve 140 million nuggets in a year,

works out to about 385,000 a day. Whoa! I love this stat chat. It's brilliant. All right, well, it all starts. I went a million divided by six. Yeah. So that was like 160.

Divided by 170, which is how many stores you had, and then divided divided by six. Yeah. So that was like 160 divided by 170, which is how many stores you had. And then divided that by three. Yeah. Because that's how many hours there are between nine and 12. Yep. Each store would only have to give away 326 packs for it to be done by midday,

which I just do not think is unachievable. Yeah. When you break down the numbers like that, I'm actually going to the place where they make chicken nuggets in about an hour. So I'll see how busy

they are restocking us. Wow. What does a million chicken nuggets even look like? Imagine Uncle Scrooge off DuckTales. There's just a huge tank

of nuggies and you just dive in. Simon, thank you so much for the info. And thanks to the free nuggies. Yeah. Sorry, I should have taken 20 off that total because the free nuggies. Yeah. Oh, yeah, sorry.

I should have taken 20 off that total because we just did. We've got a delivery in studio. Thanks, Simon. And if you want all the details on how you can get your hands on some of the one million free Chicken McNuggets, go to ZM online for all the details. 17 minutes away from it. I love how serious we've been. We're going nuggy hunting.

It's the important issues this morning. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Producer Jared, you may have noticed if you see photos of him, if you follow him on Instagram, Jaredski, Jaredski. Damn, don't. Jareddotski. Jareddotski. Jareddotski.

Jareddotski. There it is. Yeah. You may have noticed, because he's got a whole lot of new followers recently, that he's looking swole. Very much so. Very swole. He's looking swole.

I believe, do you have a date tonight? I do have a date tonight. Now, is this the girl from the Tinder segment that we did? No. Radio Tinder? No, it's not. Oh, another one. It's a different one.

Where did this one come from? So originally, I was talking to this girl on Tinder like a year ago, and then we stopped talking. And then during the stag tour, I bumped into her in town. And the sparks were flying. So we're going to get a berg tonight. What happened in your case where the sparks were flying? Just out of interest.

We were both pretty drunk, so she was like, Hi, it's you. And I was like, Hi, it's you you and I was like, hey it's you And that was the extent of it And they just happened to be under a construction site in Auckland Central and sparks were raining down on them and they interpreted them incorrectly

Okay, so you've got a date tonight You've got a date tonight and you've got a blocked shower But the girls in the show didn't let us talk about the blocked shower because they said it's disgusting. It literally made me gag in my mouth. We're doing that tomorrow. How did your shower get blocked?

Absolutely not. I'll $800 at him. How did your shower get blocked? It's going to be a great topic. I know. No. Blocked showers. I mean, you're obviously flirting with some manky people.

So you are... Getting swole. You're getting swole. And part of getting swole You're going to the gym And you've seen something at the gym Yeah bruh A modern day love story

A modern day romance Just don't No idea Yeah no details So I was at a unnamed gym When I joined up Said female staff member Was wearing a engagement ring

Oh okay You're sure Was there multiple rings on the fingers? No, there was just one. She was wearing very little jewellery. Okay.

Because I wouldn't have thought you would have worn any jewellery working at a gym. No, because you could get it caught in the lap machine. Yeah, exactly. Get it caught on anything. And rip your finger off.

Yeah. Or de-skin your finger. I think she works in the office. I'm not sure how much lifting she actually does. Okay. But I noticed the ring because I was like,

oh, yeah, she's a bit of a honey right oh my god some moldy dude called honey's walking around like no ice yourself bro when you swat a honey you always check for the ring gotta check for the ring okay um and then a few months went by and I noticed the ring was gone. And I was like, oh, interesting. How do you notice these things? I'm very perceptive. Very observant. I agree.

And then I walked into the gym another batch of months later and she was having a pash with some dude on the gym. In the gym? Yeah. You didn't pash in the gym. Oh, she was. In the soft mat area. Yeah, in the mat area or like by the weights or? Just didn't pass in the gym. Oh, she was. In the soft mat area. Yeah, in the mat area or like by the weights or...

Just in the middle of the room. That's a weird place to pass. Like, schmuck bang in the middle. What, like by the punching bag, the boxing bag or where? Just underneath the air conditioning unit? Like in the middle of the studio. It's near the shoulder machine where you do the... Oh, yeah.

So it was a pass, some sort of reward for him doing lots of shoulders. A little kiss and a cuddle. And then they noticed that I walked in and they were like, oh. So it was a passion, some sort of reward for him doing lots of shoulders. A little kiss and a cuddle. And then they noticed that I walked in and they were like, oh. Creepy dudes here. He keeps gawking at me every time he gets here. Wow, so you've witnessed a modern day romance. Yep.

Yep. Wow. And I've been like hamming it up in my mind. I'm like, oh, I wonder how blah, blah, blah and blah, blah, blah are going. Yeah, give them a backstory. Yep. And then went to the gym yesterday and i saw the male rock up looking a bit uh worse for wear okay oh okay and then what's happening and then the lady came back and they had a little discussion and then she took him outside

and i had to get something from my car yes jared oh my, you are so nosy. But I love it. I walked past and they were talking, she was telling him that he doesn't show his feelings enough. Oh! Your ear went down your hand.

There should be no touching at the gym. Apart from that thing where you're trying to lift something and someone puts their hands a little bit under your arms and just like assists.

Yeah, or the PT just puts a finger into the small of your back and you're like, should you be doing that? Oh, even then I don't want to be touched. Don't touch me. So do you think it's hit some rocks? I think they've hit some rocks. Oh, okay. Right. But it still sounds like they're together.

He just needs to work on his feelings. He needs to work on their feelings and I reckon if they make an extra large protein shake with two straws, they can hash it out. There's got to be a saying about, like I say, it's goats before protes, but then that doesn't work if your partner's not a goat. Yeah, okay. A bit of a bad one.

I see what you did there. That was good. Wow. It's brilliant. All right, well. Gals before pals. No, that's an alcoholic drink, isn't it? Well, I mean, keep us updated

if the lady in the office doesn't cancel your gym membership, which is highly likely after this conversation. Sorry. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app

or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.