ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 29th July 2020

Episode Date: July 28, 2020

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Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's brought to you by Mick Cafe. Grab yourself a delicious barista made coffee for only four dollars. I ate all my, it's like I've eaten all my lunch at play lunch. I've eaten all my fruit and everything and I'm still hungry. So Fletch has offered me three of his little baggie of tamari almonds. I'm gonna add three. I said three, that's enough isn't it? Look he's got a little glad snap lock. Is this all for today? Because there's quite a few in here. No, that's for like just for snacks during the week. I'm not going to chew through all of those.

That's one. That's one. Look, you can have five if you're really hungry. Oh, really? But they're very expensive. They're a top tier almond. Why don't you just make your, I'm counting them out. One, that's three.

You can have two more. Thank you. Quite a few calories in a tamari almond. Why don't you just make your own? No, there are. Almonds. Ow! Almonds.

What just happened? Did a door fall off? A door fall off. He's picking under the desk. You know, it always blows my mind on the old calorie counting app when you get into your nuts. Yeah, but it's good food, isn't it? Yeah. It is, but the MyFitnessPal doesn't accept almonds or nuts.

It blows your day out. But then it does go like fat and weigh up salts and stuff as well. Well, tamari almonds are just fried in soy sauce, really, aren't they? That's why they're so delicious. So I just wanted to know what exactly is tamari. It's a Japanese soy sauce. However, there's no grains in it. It's a gluten-free version of a soy sauce. It's just made by fermenting soy beans. However, there's no grains in it. It's a gluten-free version of a soy sauce.

It's just made by fermenting soybeans. Yum. But I want to know why it's called Tamari. That was my book. Because Tamari feels to me like a regional name, doesn't it? Like the Tamari precinct in Japan. Oh, maybe, yeah. Yeah.

Well, they're just delicious. Origins of Tamari. I'm getting a lot of tamarind. Oh, yeah, tamarind. Tamarind is what I was thinking of. That's Thai, isn't it? Yeah, you said a lot of Thai cooking. It dates back to the 7th century. It was actually brought to Japan from China.

God, onwards goes my thorough and thrilling investigation into the history of tamari. The soybean substitute. We're just like chowing down. No, no. We didn't talk on the show today about how you're going to the rugby. I know. Are we going to mention that on the show tomorrow?

Because Megan's going to dress up. It's the Crusaders and the Blues. It's the final, right? I don't know. No, it's not. Is it? On the 16th of what's this month? I was going to say February. But 16th's gone. Oh, we're. Is it? On the 16th of, what's this month? I was going to say February.

But 16th's gone. Oh, we're still in July, sweetheart. Yeah. Oh, so that's ages away. Yeah. A couple of weeks. A couple of weeks away. When the whole family goes, it's kind of like, it puts a bit of pressure on you to go too.

So we're going to the rugby. South African family. Yeah. Right. Who are they supporting? They're all supporting the Blues. Right. And I don't support the Blues.

I support the Crusaders, so this will be fun. But I'm going to wear my Crusaders jersey that's got Papadopoulos on the back. That we had for the final conversion. Cute, eh? Oh, but they've changed the logo, haven't they? Oh, have they? Because you know how the Crusader logo came under a bit of heat? I'm just going to get a cute.

You'll get cancelled. I'll vivid it out. Color over it. Color over it. Put a patch over it. Just put a C over it. Yeah. Yeah.

Because I was going to do a cute gram of my back where it says Papadopoulos and me like watching the game. That works. Because I was like, then it's worth it because I got a gram. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's still called the Crusaders. Yeah.

But the logo has changed. Yeah. They got rid of the guy on the horse. Yeah. Canterbury Crumpets. Oh my God, cute. I would totally go to the Canterbury Crumpets. Everyone loves a crumpet.

That's what my mum calls hotties. Crumpets. Little crumpets. Yeah, yeah. With honey melted in between their holes. Yeah. And it dribbles out the bottom. Yeah.

Yum. Ew. Yuck. You've ruined crumpets for me. Canterbury Crumpets. Well, you've dribbles out the bottom. Yeah. Yum. Ew. Yuck. You've ruined crumpets for me. Get a big crumpet. Well, you've drizzled honey all over their holes and it's dripping out their bottom. It doesn't drip out the bottom. You said it.

Yeah, it dribbles out the bottom. You have not put enough honey on your crumpet. And then you lick the plate. Hello? God, how much honey are you putting on your crumpets? Are we only putting honey on crumpets? What about maple syrup or golden syrup? Oh, yeah, I'd do maple. Oh, golden syrup too, yeah. Hello. God, how much honey are you putting on your crumpets? Are we only putting honey on crumpets? What about maple syrup or golden syrup? Oh, yeah, I'd do maple.

Oh, golden syrup too, yeah. Yeah. Yum. Okay, well, enjoy that thought of dripping honey out of the bottom of crumpets. Enjoy the podcast. ZM. Hit music. Lives here.

Fleece, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, three minutes past six. How good. With the Warriors, just hearing the news about the Warriors. How they're like, can we borrow one of your players?

And the other team's like, you can borrow one of our players. So good. That's how it went down. It's like, you know, if you've used a kind of like sports or whatever and someone didn't turn up for some or whatever reason, the other team had heaps. You never wanted to go and play for the other team. No.

One time I got substituted for the other team and I was like, stuff you, I'm going to play my freaking heart out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, send Megan to play for the other team. You're like, what did you just say? Watch me, I'm going to kill this. Yeah, yeah. And then you go hard because your team turned on you,

showed no loyalty. Did you win that? See what it is? Did you win that game? I don't know, probably not. For the opposition? No. Okay. No. But it's cool. I like how they're like we sent him over. You got a spare shirt? What for? I'm a shirt.

So you got one of our shirts. We'll give him a special number. But there yeah the Warriors continue to plow on through this weird season. Let's see some rugby league because otherwise my nan would have nothing to watch. Yeah.

Because I don't know if she's into the chase as much as we are. We are going to talk about the chase coming up. Oh, handed that one to her honour, Platter. Thank you. But then you spelt it out, so it kind of undid. Undid the seamless segue there, Vaughn. I think you've got to spell out your seamless segue.

Yeah, a bit of controversy with the chase. Well, they're trying to stay woke, but one of the chasers isn't having it. All right, that's on the agenda coming up. We've got some Panasonic noise-cancelling headphones to give away soon with our game. Name suppression. Name suppression, super easy to play. We'll give you the chance to call up soon. The top six as well on the way.

Yeah, an 81-year year old man was growing a copious amount of marijuana at his house in Tauranga. So I've got the top six crimes I'd like to have a go at at 81. You'd just would, wouldn't you? What have you got to lose? Well, yeah, you're gonna die soon anyway. They could sentence you to life

and that might only be two weeks. Yeah. So you may as well shoplift that chocolate bar. So jokes on them. All right. Next on the show, though, a Wellington pool. Yeah, has banned some parents. And it's not for Code Brown reasons. You're right.

That was a real vaunt. You really vaunt that? Hitting your microphone? Smashing your microphone around? Yeah, sorry. Bad technique. Continue. Are you cold?

You've got your fingers in your cardigan. It's a little snippy in here. I've just noticed it has got a little bit cooler in here. Suddenly the temperature's dropped. It's good. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Parents have been banned from a Wellington pool,

and one man is because he kept his son swimming after two hours in the pool. So he just made him swim nonstop for two hours. Wow. And a mother forcing her eight-year-old daughter to do nine training sessions a week. Holy. What do they want the next Michael Phelps? I'm imagining there must have been, like, those are the examples of timing that, like, you both found quite shocking.

Yeah. But I'm imagining there's more because they said, a Wellington City Councillor said, this isn't unique to any one pool or sport, but bullying and intimidating parents are rife across codes. So I'm thinking whilst we found the hours and the amount of training sessions shocking. Yeah.

You know, it feels like what they're doing during that time may have also been bad. Not good. Like they were whipping them in the pool. They were stun gunning. Yeah, well, that's why he was doing the whip behind me. He's like, slow down, it'll get you. Like when you're with a tea towel and you're like, get out, get out,

or I'm going to whip you. That just sounds like a parent who wasn't any good at sports themselves. Forcing it on. It often was. They wanted their kid to perform. I remember that playing sport as a kid, the dad that was the loudest, and my mum was coach, so she'd often just say to him, if you can't, shut up, you can't be here.

Yeah. Because he wasn't yelling, like, awesome work, go guys. Brilliant, yeah, pass. It was negative. It was negative here. Yeah. Because he wasn't yelling like, awesome work, go guys. Brilliant, yeah, pass. It was negative. It was like negative stuff. Right. He was like, beggar. Yeah. And you know, you could tell he sure as hell couldn't be doing anything near like it.

But yeah, and then yeah, his kid said one day, oh you know dad was never any good at sports. I was like, well what's he doing? Because didn't you, you've learnt, having coached your daughter's hockey team. Yeah. You've had to learn about all of this. Yeah.

I did a coaching course and like the first half of the first day was all about why kids play sport. And they don't play sport. Like winning was the 30th on the list. Of the reasons they play. Yeah. Huh. Like one kid told me, we had our first game on Monday night. Lost, but everybody had fun. I said at the end, I was like, does everyone have fun? And everyone was like, we had our first game on Monday night. Lost, but everybody had fun.

I said at the end, I was like, does everyone have fun? And everyone was like, we had fun. I was like, well, that's the main thing. Like we had fun. That was great. You know, we're going to, we're going to,

we've got some stuff to work on, but that was fun. We had fun. Everyone had fun. And I said, what was your favorite part? And they said, when Kylie bought lollies. And I was like,

excuse me, Kylie, where's my bloody lolly? But apparently that had been snacked on during the game. So it wasn't about even the hockey. Was she in the middle of her pocket during the game? No, Kylie's son got into the lollies. Oh, right, okay. Apparently.

Sade said, turn around and he just had this mouth of, like, gummy worms. Uh-oh, and he's like. Don't run with your mouth full of gummy worms. He wasn't playing. Oh, wasn't he? He's like four. He just found where the lollies were and was just like, I've got two minutes.

I was like, blah, blah, blah, blah. He just made as much as he could. See, I'd play hockey if I got gummy lollies. Yeah, gummy lollies at the end. And yeah. That's like our neighbor. Remember I told you our neighbor works for the Lollies Factory? No.

No. What Lollies Factory? You said your name has all that booze that's fallen off the back of the truck. It's the other neighbour. That's, you never told me you have a... You, I, you know how I feel about lollies. What kind of lollies? What lolly factory?

Don't say gummy lollies or I'll actually punch you in the face. Babes, I've got a jar of gummy lollies with What lolly factory? Don't say gummy lollies. Or I'll actually punch you in the face. Babes, I've got a jar of gummy lollies with your name on it. What? Bring them in. Can I go to the lolly factory? Well, I can. I want to go to a lolly factory. I just love to see how they're made.

What lolly factory? It's old school. Where is it? I don't know. I don't want to drag anybody. I don't want to get anybody into trouble. I don't know if it's like... It's Dave and he works at Macy's.

I love it. That's F works at Macy's. I love it. That's Fijo and lollies. Yeah. Okay, you need to get Dave to give us a tour. And raspberry drops. You know I like raspberry drops. It got lots of them.

Oh God. At Christmas, they were like, Christmas Norma, because it's Norma. It's Norma's son-in-law. Norma's like, come here.

And the girls like ran over and they came back and they just had these bags. And I'm like, what's in the bags? And they're like, lollies. And I look and I was like, oh, my God. Norma just gave you a lot of hyperactive children right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Holy moly. I need to go visit Norma.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. In New Zealand, is it on the chase? Is it the Destroyer or the Dark Destroyer? Oh, I don't know. What do you mean? Because we get the same chase as Britain. Well, apparently in Australia, and they say Down Under, so I'm assuming New Zealand as well,

they've dropped the name the Dark Destroyer and they just call him the Destroyer. But when? Because you only ever hear Bradley Walsh say it. Yeah. I don't know if they cut him out or... Or when there's a news article, they say The Dark Destroyer. Yeah. Or The Destroyer.

Maybe if there was like a promo, but I've never seen a promo that's called him The Dark Destroyer. Maybe if you know how they do those trips. Well, I mean, it's not happening at the moment, but when they've done trips down here, you know, and he's going around and... He's been, but when they've done trips down here, you know, and he's going around and... He's been to New Zealand a couple of times. Yeah, yeah. So, Cineman. Yeah.

And they... He gets called the Cineman. They all have their names right that they get called when they're on the press tours and they do pub quizzes and publicity and stuff. So, yeah, in Australia, they've dropped the name and in the UK, they're thinking about dropping the name as well. So, he would just be the destroyer.

Now, Sean Wallace, who is the destroyer, has said that this is political correctness gone mad. He said, it was actually Bradley, the host, who started calling me the dark destroyer, and there was absolutely no side or sinister reason behind it. I'm proud to be black. If ITV were to ask me or consider changing it, then I would tell them I'm proud to be black. If I were, if ITV were to ask me or consider changing it, then I would tell them I'm proud to be black.

I'm proud to be dark. I want the name to stay as it is. Hmm. Well, then let it stay? Well, I mean, I mean, it is his name. Yeah. But like what if other people find it offensive? I don't know.

Yeah. Yeah, I can see like the producers are obviously like, well, if the heat comes on for this, the finger's going to be pointed at us. So they're trying to take care of it, but then they haven't maybe consulted him on it. Is it right

to give him a nickname that refers to his skin colour? I always see the last 10 minutes if I turn the news on. He's not my favourite. You've got to watch the whole thing. You've got to go the journey. I've never seen a full episode.

Ever. You've got to. You simply must. Maybe the last round of questions before they get into the final round. You can predict how it's going to go by watching the earlier parts of the show. Right. Right. You can tell, like, how well they did. If the chaser is, like, on form that day.

Right. Who's your favourite, though? Do you have a favourite? I like the pin-up girl. This is one of New Zealand's highest rating shows. Vixen. Yeah. It's a great lead-in for the 6 o'clock news. Do you have a favourite? Probably her. Vixen. Jenny. Highest rating shows. Vixen. Yeah. It's a great lead in for the Six O'Clock News.

Do you have a favourite? Probably her. Vixen. Yeah. I like her. She's so friendly, Ben. She's so smart. She's so smart.

I like her in the governess. The one that producer Anya's got a crush on. The Beast. The Beast. He's my least favourite because he's smug. Remember ages ago you said you thought he'd be a bit of you? Okay. I didn't say I had a crush on him.

I just said he had a lovely smile. He's got a dapper so he's a bit handsome. He's got a smug. I never said that he was hot. You're just embarrassed. Look, you're embarrassed because he hooked up with his cousin and then she cheated on him. That was like a week after I said it.

Like, what terrible timing. He's too smug. And then he sits there and gives one of those long-winded answers that no one cares about. You're like, what terrible timing. He's too smug. And then he sits there and gives one of those long-winded answers that no one cares about. You're like, shut up. Squareman. That's what my kids call him because they've renamed all the chases. He's Squareman.

Right. This, I thought, was going to be tiptoeing into dangerous territory, given children, but I was quite proud. They named the guy that's the Dark Destroyer, they called him Glasses Guy. Glasses Guy. He wears glasses. Cinnamon, they called White Coat because he

wears a white coat and a black shirt. They always wear the same thing. Yeah. Change up the costumes. Pretty Girl was Jenny because I don't know, hair up. Old Lady was coming. Old Lady.

Yeah. Is that all? I think that's it. Oh, The Beast is Square Guy. Oh, Square Man. Square Man, wow. Domino's, the pizza outlet, tried their best to get in on the Karen buzz. Yeah.

The online, if anyone's got a complaint to make, automatically labelled Karen, taking the name Karen. I mean, there wasn't too many babies called Karen, but apparently the names plummeted off. We spoke to a Karen on the show. Do you remember we had a young Karen on a couple of weeks ago? Yes. And I was like, this is weird.

The last of her generation. The last of her name. But it And I was like, this is weird. The last, the last of her. The last of her generation. The last of her name. But it's really, especially during COVID times, it has just skyrocketed, this whole Karen thing. Yeah, yeah. Because they've become the name of people not willing to wear masks, et cetera, make complaints. Well, Domino's said they started a competition

saying we're going to give 100 Kiwis called Karen a free pizza. What could go wrong? So it was on their Facebook page. Yeah. And they said, calling all Karens. It's tough to be a Karen. Karen the nurse, Karen the teacher, Karen the mum, Karen the neighbour.

We're all in this together, but a vocal minority have given the name Karen a bad rap. At Domino's, we know there's plenty of Kiwis called Karen that aren't, well, Karens. Okay. That's true, though. That is true. Yes.

Let us know if you're one of them by completing the form via the link below, and we may send some pizza your way. What could go wrong with that? Cue the implosion. Because then people jumped in saying you're doing nothing but making the stereotype the name worse and then people would comment to that saying what a Karen thing to

say. And someone said why don't you give the pizzas to people in poverty instead and someone was like righto Karen. The comments are gold. You could spend a good 10-15 minutes. She's all go. It's all go. a good, like, 10, 15 minutes. She's all go.

It's all go. It's all, and exactly what they set out to not do, you would say. Were they replying to any messages, or did they just let it be? They were. I saw a few replies. They tried. But it just snowballed. And then I saw people sharing it last night.

Like, yeah, it's so tough being white and Karen. Yeah. And stuff like that. You're just like, okay, it's really backfired here for you. Yeah. You had good intentions. How many we got here? We've got two and a half.

2.7 comments. 2.7 thousand comments. Wow. Okay. I mean, they're probably not going to get 2.7 thousand comments for anything else. No. So maybe they'd be job achieved. Maybe they're engagements through the roof get 2.7 thousand comments for anything else. No. So maybe there'd be job achieved. Maybe they're of the thinking that. Yeah, their engagement's through the roof.

Yeah. Somebody commented saying, I'm one of those Karens. I'd love a pizza. Someone commented underneath it, your name's not Karen. You've just changed it for Facebook. Change it to competition. Oh, wow. Yeah, so.

And then there's a few Karens saying I mean great effort Domino's but I don't mean to be a Karen although they are a Karen but upload photo ID plus 250 words explaining why I'm nice. I could use less than 250 words speaking to the manager. Someone said

another Karen writes I'm not going to any amount of effort for one of your $5 pizzas. I'll pay the $5. And then someone commented underneath it, and then complain about how the pizza you just paid $5 for isn't a good pizza. Typical Karen. Great.

Wow. Again. You tried. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. An 81-year-old man has appeared in court. John Price has obviously been like, you can stick your name suppression. He has pleaded guilty to cultivating cannabis,

selling or supplying cannabis plants, and possession of cannabis plant for supply. Right. When he was in Tauranga District Court. He said that he was doing this, he was going to sell it, he'd been stockpiling it. He was going to pay for a wheelchair and a $100,000 back operation. 364 cannabis plants. That's one for every day of the year if you take Christmas off. And is that enough to pay for an operation or a holiday as well?

Well, so he had 2.7 kgs of cannabis head material. So your skunk, your buds. Yep. And apparently value between $21,000 and $30,000. So on the way. Oh, right. Okay. But the plants that he had could have earned up to $260,000 depending on what kind of year cannabis growers had.

Right. Okay. Yeah. Can you not have health insurance when you're 81? Just not going to cover it. I think your premium's like $10,000 a week. Yeah. Oh, man.

It gets up there. But then there's also the public health system, but maybe because he's 81, he was on a long list. Yeah. Got bumped down the list. He's like, I'll just pay for this privately. It is sad, yeah. So he's 81, and he was just like, what have I got to lose?

I'll grow some weed. Yeah. And he hasn't been sentenced yet. So I guess we'll find out what he's going to get. But today's top six are top six crimes I'll ever go at at 81. Okay. After he grew, cultivated, planned to sell. Yep.

Number six, drug importing. I'd give that a go. Probably just stuffy pills mostly. Well, you can just be like one of those 81-year-olds who's like, oh, my God, I had no idea my suitcase was lined with pure cocaine. I'm old. Come on. This lovely man said,

take this suitcase. Have a new suitcase. What do you mean my Zimmer frame is literally stacked full of blue pills? Come on. Hello, dog. Oh, the dog must smell of wet myself. That sort of thing at customs.

Number five on the list of the top six crimes I'd like to have a go at at 81. I'd fly to Russia and have a go at that homosexuality that I'm hearing so much about. It's still illegal in Russia. It's still a crime. Yeah, right. Why do you have to go to Russia? Because it's illegal there.

But you're 81. You know you could just do it here. You got all those stiffy pills? You could just do it here legally for free. No, but that wouldn't be breaking the law, would it? Okay. I want that rush. I want that thrill.

Oh, okay. Yeah, okay. Number four on the list. Where's Grandad gone? He's gone to Russia. Russia? What for? Sex with a man.

He said it's his lifelong dream. Number four on the list of the top six crimes I'd have a go at at 81. I'm drunk and disorderly. Oh, yeah. Why? I mean, you've done enough of that in your younger days. You just didn't get caught, did you? I didn't get caught.

Exactly. So it wasn't illegal. The illegal part is being caught. I'm pretty sure that's not how it works. So, yeah, get drunk and disorderly. Not, like, abusive to the police, but certainly let them know you're drunk. And just a little disorderly.

I think they'd probably drop you home if you're 81. Yeah, they probably would. That'd be quite... And come in and take the rest of your cooking sherry. And get me back, you son of a bitch. I've got a trifle to make tomorrow. Number three on the list of the top six crimes I'd like to have a go at at 81 are low flyovers of residential buildings and a homemade aircraft. Oh, my God.

Please don't. You know how old boys are always making a microlight? Yeah. That never ends well. Never. Never. They need to start printing some positive microlight stories. Like, old man builds aircraft at home, takes off, lands,

goes home for soup. Like, we need that because whatever is terrible news about homemade aircraft. I think there was one like a couple of weeks ago down south. What's that? Like it was a homemade air. It's terrible. Yeah. Poor guy.

They move out there to the plains, don't they? They're like, look, there's not a hill inside. I'll be fine. The funny thing about the ground, when you hit it hard enough, it's like a hill. Yeah, it's horrible. Number two on the list of the top six crimes I'd like to have a go at at 81, naked in public and decent exposure. Oh, yeah, okay. But when you're old crimes I'd like to have a go at at 81. Naked in public and decent exposure. Oh yeah, okay. But when you're old

I'd pick my crowd. Yeah, you can get away with it. I wouldn't like run into a primary school. Right, okay. I'm old but I'm, you know, respectful. Right, what about like... Church is where I'd go. Right down the middle of the aisle while he's giving our oh man, oh

man, oh man, oh doors come over. Who wants to see my dick? That would be me. I was thinking more like Spark Arena middle of the breakers game. Oh yeah, yeah.

That's how I'd like to see an 81 year old do a streak. Come out of those toilets and just walk straight through the thing onto the basketball court. Who wants to see my dick? What about all the kids that are there?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Not a great idea. I'm going to church. I'm doing it at the church. Wait, don't kids go to church too? Not if they had any choice. Okay, you're right.

Number one on the list of the top six crimes I'd like to have a go at at 81. I'm touching art that says do not touch. Oh, yes. Go into the art. They're like, this is a that says do not touch. Oh, yes. Let's go into the art. They're like, this is the display. Do not touch. Just poke, poke, poke. Sue, please don't touch that.

I'll be like, I'm 81. Sit down. Who wants to see my dick? Right, you asked right. You get number one and number two. Poke, poke, poke. Hands down. Who wants to see my dick?

Oh, my God. I can't wait to be 81. It's going to be a great six months. Yeah. Ah, that is today's top six. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. If you heard the show, when was it? Monday, earlier in the week.

I had some goat-related issues. Yeah, bad hoof. Harold had a bit of bad hoof. Yeah. And the vet came to see Harold, and he needed to be in a dry place, so he has been put into isolation. The spare bedroom? No.

Shade didn't allow it. I tried. I said, I'll put some sawdust down. She said, absolutely not. He's in managed isolation. Right. I give him a COVID test every day, but I don't know how long he's going to's in managed isolation. Right. I give him a COVID test every day, but I don't know how long he's going to be in managed isolation.

Lucky he's in there now because the government's going to announce today that they're charging. I'm already charging. You are? Right. I'm somewhat of an authoritarian government running on Lepidifunct. And so to keep him company, I put Helen, our other goat in there, and they had a bit of a scrap and she kicked out at him.

This is what I guess happened. And a bit of corrugated iron cut her hoof quite badly. Worse than his now. So the vet had to come back and sort her out. Are you regretting getting all these animals now? Nah. I don't know. Nah.

They bring me a lot of joy. They bring me... That was real cute. They put stupid looks on my face. And what greater joy can life give you than getting stupid looks on your own face? Even if the vet bill runs into the thousands? The Smiths are propping up the vet industry this week.

Okay. With dental dogs and everything. the thousands. The Smiths are propping up the vet industry this week. With dental dogs and everything. But anyway, Helen's, it was during Helen's visit on Monday that the vet said, and something's not right with that chicken. Okay. Because I've been tunnel vision. I'll admit it. Yeah, right.

I've been feeding the cows and the sheep a little bit of hay because there's not a lot of grass. It's winter. I've been... Tunnel vision. I'll admit it. Yeah, right. I've been feeding the cows and the sheep a little bit of hay because there's not a lot of grass. It's winter. I've been feeding them and talking to them. And it's been Humphrey's birthday, right? Yep. I've been somewhat not neglectful of the chickens. I've still been fed.

Eggs have been cleared. They've cleaned out their thing. But apparently this has just happened as well. Right. But Kendall Clark Dashian had prolapsed. Oh, no. Now, that is during the squeezing out of the egg, the... Insides had come out too.

The cloaca. I always love to look at Mountie at the social media desk because she gets very... Her face and her ears get quite hot when there's some horrible news. And very expressive. So the cloaca, the chicken has one hole for all the business you've got a question

oh she can't hear she can't hear she can't hear can you hear now she still can't hear still can't hear are your headphones plugged in oh oh oh

headphones don't plug in okay anyway so there's to bring you up to speed on the cloaca, birds have one hole that does all the business. Yep. Poos and eggs.

Poos and eggs and the wheeze comes out with the poos. And so that, during an extra squeeze. Had Kendall squeezed too hard? Yeah. And she turned the back part of her inside out. Right. That happened to a canary of ours once. There's no coming back from it.

Nah. Can you not just poke it back in? For want of a better phrase, poke it back in? Nah, because the muscle is torn or the part that keeps it tight is blowing out. No. So that's it for the chicken. Wait, so it can happen. Like, you can be...

If it happens to other animals, humans, for example, it can be fixed surgically. Right. It can happen. But chickens... Not so much. Not so much. Small area, not happening.

We found our canary and she was dead. But Kendall... You found the canary with the prolapsed anus. Yeah, it was sitting on the bottom of the cage. We were like, what's wrong with it? But when we lifted it up, we saw what was wrong with it. It was dead. And it had tried to squeeze out an egg that wasn't there. It just happens. That's life, right?

So you were just like, well, RIP chicken. And so the chicken was euthanized very peacefully. So the chicken was alive walking around with it. That's why I said it had just happened because it had bright eyes and it was like happy as and it was walking around but obviously it gets

infection and everything but Kendall was... And what was the other cluckdashian that died earlier? Courtney. Courtney. So we're down Courtney and Kendall.

We're down to six six cluckdashians. Rob's still around. Rob's of course he is. What's Kylie up to? Rob's up on my shoulder. Kylie's a

yeah quiet quiet worker. We don't hear a lot from Kylie. Kylie's not up to? Rob's up on my shoulder. Kylie's a yeah, quiet worker. We don't hear a lot from Kylie. Kylie's not one of the character chickens. Kanye's in Wyoming. We don't know where he is. He's rogue. He's rogue. He got out a month ago. He's the goose down the road. Yeah. He's gone.

So, I dug a hole. Yep. There was a burial. Yep. This is on Monday. Yep. This is on Monday. Yeah, this is on Monday. Now, Indy was so upset when Courtney Klupdashian died, and I was like, this is bad because we've got our first hockey game tonight. And obviously I can't tell her pre-hockey game. Why not?

That's going to be weighing on her mind. But she might have played harder. Dan Carter's dog dies before a game. He'd want to know then. His dad's not ringing him to say, your dog's died. He's telling him after the game. But he's also a professional sports person. He might play better for his dog.

He'll play better for the dog. My judgment was that it would weigh too much on Indy's mind. Indy might have scored three goals instead of one because she's playing for Kendall. She's playing for Kendall. Kendall's memory. It would have affected her focus. She wouldn't have been able to focus. Yeah, wouldn't have. Kendall's memory. It would have affected her focus. She wouldn't have been able to focus.

Yeah, wouldn't have been able to focus. She would have been very upset. So you made the decision to lie. Delay the bed. No, to your daughter. Not lie, but not tell the entire truth. But she was down on the burial. What if she wanted to say some words?

Nah, you don't want to see a prolapse, Danis. Having seen one. I certainly would have. For the record, I haven't want to meet him. You don't want to see a prolapse day in this movie. Having seen one. For the record, I haven't seen one. Don't put it on your bucket list. You'll be like, oh, I should have put skydiving on there instead. Not enjoyable. But it was a peaceful, she never suffered or anything.

So it's okay. But yeah, I buried, I put a little brick on top to mark the spot. Right. And I said I'll delay telling her. And so you told Indy last night. So then after hockey, she was on a high. Oh, yeah. So I was like, I can't tell her now. We'll bring her down.

And then I was like, we can't tell her before school because yesterday Lulu, our old dog, was getting teeth taken out and there was a possibility she could have passed away. She didn't. Yeah, right. So it would have been a whole lot of bad news. Yeah, right. So we waited. We said, great news. Lulu's good. We're going to go pick her up. She's a little bit dopey, but she's pulled through. Everything's fine.

Bad news. Kendall's passed away. And she actually took it really well. She said, it's good that I've had the good news of the dog. Otherwise, I feel like this would be bad news by itself. I'd be very sad. Or if it was, you know, bad news or whatever. But we made the choice to delay the bad news,

and it wasn't a bad choice in the end. Just a couple of days. Okay. That's also something that's not in the parenting manual that I still haven't received. Right. Okay. Because there isn't one.

Yeah. But when you have to, maybe you had to stagger bad news. I'd like to know maybe if you're a parent, you've had to stagger bad news because there was too much bad news. You thought, I can't pile this on a child all at once. Yeah. Or when you were a kid, if your parents delayed or staggered bad news. Right.

Till after something. Yeah, right. Okay. Till after your birthday. Yeah. Oh, the dogs died. Yeah. Hey, but you've still got that new...

Bike. Bike. He would have loved that bike. He would have chased after you. Okay. So you want to hear from people that have delayed bad news. Yeah. Or have been on the receiving end of some delayed bad news.

Yeah. Do they have to be just kids? No, no, no. It would work for adults too. Oh, yeah, definitely. If something bad happened and you had a job interview, for example, it would be best the person delivering that news delayed it to a post-job interview, right?

Someone told me someone broke up with them or a friend of theirs on their birthday, like last week. I was like, no, wait till the day after. Or the day before. There's got to be a period either side of the birthday where you can't break up with someone. It must be at least a week, right? Yeah, I know.

Even a week before. Delay that news. Wait until a week after. Yeah. Because a week before is still going to ruin the birthday. We're talking this morning about delaying bad news. When it was best that the news was delayed. Maybe you had something to do or something that the bad news

would have distracted you from. This is what I had to do. I had to delay the news of our latest chicken casualty to prolapse cloaca. We're down Kendall. We're down Kendall. For those keeping score,

we started with eight, we're down to six. But apparently, we've had it too good for too long. That's what the vet said. That's optimistic. She said, put this on your Instagram

and tell people what it's like having a lifestyle block with animals. I'm like, I'm not putting a prolapse check. She wanted reality. I know, reality check. It's a big problem. Vicky, what news, bad news, did you have to delay? Well, my father had a

massive heart attack five years ago, just right on Christmas. So, we actually had to delay Christmas. So telling our children at the time was quite heart-wrenching for them. But we decided to tell them that it was either Christmas or Papa and they were happy that Papa came home.

So, yeah, that was quite heart-wrenching. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's all good and he is perfect now but the kids had Papa for Christmas instead of Christmas that year. That's commendable to your children because I'm pretty sure I would have chosen

presents. I think so too. I would have been like no. They came a little bit later but he had surgery literally Christmas Eve. So it was a pretty gut wrenchwrenching Christmas that year. But, yeah, our kids, they were pretty awesome. That's pretty good.

Yeah, totally. Vicky, thanks for your call. We'll go to Daniel. Daniel, what bad news was delayed? Hey, yeah, and, yeah, we're about 12 years old. And I think it was our first family holiday. We were going up to Taruna Park and Nelson, the parents dragged us in two days before into the lounge

saying, oh, sorry, kids, we're breaking up, but we're still going on holiday. No good. You get one last family holiday in before they gave you the bad news. Oh, mate, no good, eh? And how was the holiday? Oh, it was awesome. Did you take two caravans?

Or did Mum and Dad, like... Nah, nah. I think we... How do we camp in the old man's sleep on the couch? And Mum's in the room there. Wow. No worries, eh? But then that's good,

because you think about how much time on a holiday your dad spends pleasing your mum versus, like like playing sports. Not sexually pleasing. I just mean like, you know, mum's like, this dude's doing, this dude's doing. And he's like trying to keep her on side, so he does it. But imagine if your dad was like, just like, let's disappear and go bike riding all day. Yeah.

Thanks, you're cool, Daniel. Alicia, what bad news was delayed? So when I was about 10 years old, I had a budgie named Charlie. Yep. And we were about to go on a holiday for Christmas, and my budgie died the night before we went away, which I didn't know about until two weeks later. I get home, and there's a cage but no bird in it.

And I ask mom, where's Charlie? And she's like, oh, he died before he went away. Ruthless. But mom just didn't want to have to deal with you being sad on holiday. Pretty much. Yeah. Well, you had a good holiday, though, right? Yeah, it was a good holiday.

Yeah, I would have just got a new budgie and hope you didn't realise. Yeah, because they all look the same, don't they? They do. They do, yeah. They're the right colour. Yeah. I think we just had bad luck with birds because we also had a canary, which I shouldn't actually be telling those stories.

You'll hate me. But she vacuumed the bottom of the bird cage with birds still in it. You are kidding me. She vacuumed up the budgie. She vacuumed up the canary. Yes. Did she check the bag? Did she check the bag?

Yeah, the budgie. I mean, the canary died straight away. That was a cyclonic vac, Megan. She could totally see the budgie through the secret sign. It was just like yellow, yellow. But I tell you what, it was commendable to the Dyson because it kept that power. With a canary ting-tonging up the tube. Ting-tonging up the tube.

Why didn't she vacuum it up? She made a mistake. The canary came to look. You know, it's like when you're vacuuming, you're like don't get too close to that shoelace. I always get the charging cable. I always suck up the charging. I'm like, I'm getting close to the charging cable but I can do this. And then it's like. Oh my God. Wow. Let's just say

we haven't owned a bird since. Yeah. If I was your mum, I would never have told you that story when we found the canary dead, unless you witnessed it yourself. I would have just said the canary got out the front door. It's gone. It's gone. Alicia, thanks for sharing. I've got terrible visuals.

Oh, my God. You know when it rips high when something's stuck in it? And you've got to get that little thing on top to let more air in to try to dislodge this. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. Let's talk about that later in the show.

That is pretty funny. Only in New Zealand would that happen. Oh, my God. We've got a great story. Do you know who sent it? Yeah. Oh, pencil that in. What a long tease.

So that's kind of political, but this is also political. Yesterday, another, this is a cluster fudge cake. Fajita. A cluster fajita of a lead into an election so far. Not only are we dealing with the fact that the world is in chaos due to a global pandemic, which this country's handled remarkably well. Kudos to everybody who's done their part. We've got a shout out, like I'm listening to your name on the radio.

From who? From the World Health Organization. From who? From the World Health Organization. From who? From who? Who? From who? I'm not falling for that again. Okay, I'm onto it this time.

And like they said, we're onto like Thailand, Vietnam, a couple of other countries, and New Zealand. And I was like, mm-mm. Who? The World Health Organization. Exactly.

Who for sure. But maybe it's due to that that we've got all this time for all this silly shenanigans. Political scandal. And the lead up to an election yesterday, the Scandal de Jeux was the 18-year-old running for the Palmerston North seat for the National Party, William Wood.

This is the same electorate as Ian Lee's Galloway, wasn't it? It was. So he was the one that resigned last week because of his workplace affair. Harvey is an absolute hotbed of political scarecrow. So I'd forgotten all about this until this surfaced, but

yeah, last, was it start of this year or end of last year, National nominated its candidate and he got voted in in a local meeting, an 18-year-old. 18, like you said. I was 20 when he was born. Wow. When he was born, I was older than he is now and he's running for parliament.

Now, as someone who even now isn't fit to run for parliament, I can't even say parliament. I don't know. This is a special type of person that an 18 thinks the national party is for me or any party is for me. It's odd, isn't it? Because I don't know how anyone can be a politician these days. Like, it'd have to be so, like, anything you do,

like, if you decided, when I grow up, I'm going to be a politician, you'd have to be squeaky clean from the get-go. Yep. Wouldn't you? This is the second controversy. Simon Bridges and he was later dealt with a photo that went up of William Wood with his mate. Someone was wearing a Make America Great hat again.

But then the guy that rolled Simon Bridges had one of those hats. There was that. But now we're on to another leader, and this has come out that four years ago with a milk moustache, he was doing, he licked the sides off, so it was just a Hitler-y milk moustache and He was doing Hitler, he licked the sides off so it was just a Hitler-y milk moustache and a little hand gesture of

the Hitler salute. Like a Heil Hitler. Yeah. And so everyone was like, well, that's inappropriate. But he was 14. Was this on his Facebook? Yeah, or maybe it was on the gram because it looked like it had one of those things underneath. When they were showing people on the streets, it said four years ago underneath it.

So it made me feel like it was, because you know how Instagram tells you how long ago something was posted. I think it was a private. But then surely when he was candidate, wouldn't he have gone through Facebook and got rid of any photo he was tagged in? If I was working at any level of a political party and someone new came on board especially an 18 year old I'd be like okay let's go through all the socials yeah

you say that that's fine but like what about all the messages you've ever sent someone or a stupid picture someone saved of you yeah

like 100% you've got stupid pictures of me probably wouldn't but nothing nothing no

like you're not dressed as Hitler or anything you save like silly pictures of your mates. Yeah. And then if they fall out, you can use it against him when he runs for the National Party. Yeah.

But I, when I saw this last night, I was just like, thank God there wasn't social media when I was a teenager. I would have. I mean, there was dial-up. I made an absolute bloody fool of myself. There was dial-up internet, but, you know, there were no social media sites. No. There were message boards. The worst you could do is post in a message board or say something on MSN Chat or ICQ.

Go into a MRIC chat room and say something wildly inappropriate, which I'm sure many people do, but it was a username, right? And it was never hard-linked to your name. No. So last night on our Instagram story, I said, for the over 30s, are you glad you grew up without social media? What do you think percentage-wise said, yes, they're glad they grew up without social media?

Oh, a huge proportion. 94%. Who said they are definitely glad they grew up without social media? Yeah. 94%. We've done lots of polls. Some that we're like, this is just going to be 100%.

Never have we had one that's been that. No. And that's thousands and thousands of responses. Yeah. So do you think that's people saying, I can relate to this because I too would have had a stupid photo from my teenage years

if they were kept and still around. So that, as well as there's a couple of messages. Someone said, I had a hard enough time at high school and free weekend texting was the closest thing to social media there was. And I can't imagine what it would have been like with Facebook and Instagram.

Probably insufferable. Yeah. So there's that aspect of it as well. Even do you see some of your comments or posts that you made? Like, I look at some of our memories and you're just like, oh my God, like, wow. Yeah. Like, not bad, but you're just like, oh, my God, like, wow. Yeah.

Like, not bad, but you're just, like, quite ruthless. You're such a dork. Yeah. What is wrong with me? Somebody, and this is, like, an admission that I would make as well. I would have been such a disgusting teenager if I'd had social media. Yeah. A Nokia 3310 saved my life.

God, the battery lasted forever on ISO, didn't it? Yeah. But you just imagine, because, you know, when you just say you, oh, my God, and the lasted forever on those, though, didn't it? Yeah. But you just imagine, because you know when you just say, oh, my God, and the edges all float out. I can just imagine, I'm thinking about all the parties I went to, if there was people with camera phones taking photos of that. Just everything about it, eh? God, I wish we had.

No, we did have. Did we have, when you hid behind that car that night? We've got videos of what made her hide behind the car. Yeah. Good times. Maybe I've got a photo. Ross Ross sent me those the other day. I'm like, what are you doing?

I think I've got a photo of you hiding behind the car. I'll have to dig into the other five surprises. But he dare not even do anything with it. But no, but to the uneducated, it just looks like you're really bad at drunken hide-and-seek. I got a little bit pissy at my own party, and I ran away from my own party, and I had hit by my car. Because you had a knee brace on at the time,

and you couldn't get very far. So she hit to make us all think she got further. And then somebody else was like, we need to call the police. I'm just like, she can't walk. Like, calm down. She's within 20 metres of this place. We've just got to find her. And I walked out.

I was like, there she is. All right, Megan, the latest is next. Between the wheelie bin and her MX5, which is a small car and not a great thing to hide behind. And under the carport, just in case it rained. And you were in your 20s then. God, imagine if you'd been in your teenage years. What would be online? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Last night called the parents, speaking to mum. Cat update. Yeah, got the cat weather update. Just, you know, general update. How are her roses? Yeah, good. Are we starting to come away? She's going to a rose show next weekend or this weekend.

Yeah, this weekend. I should send her some photos of mine. Who got roses? Yeah, they were there when we moved in. You didn't trim me as the rose kind of guy. Oh, no. I had a girlfriend once who worked at a botanical gardens, and she taught me to prune roses.

Right, okay. On one of your dates? No, I just asked her, and She was like, I'll show you. And so I went and looked. Okay. Hot. Well, we were speaking about. Hey, nothing's hotter than someone showing an interest.

True. So we talked about that. And then she said to me, when are you talking to the prime minister next? Jacinda. And I was like, oh, I don't know, probably in a couple of weeks. Because, you know, we chat to her every couple of weeks on a Friday. She's like, okay, well, when are you talking to her next? And I'm like, oh, where don't know, probably in a couple of weeks, because, you know, we chat to her every couple of weeks on a Friday. She's like, okay, well, when you're talking to her next, and I'm like, oh, where's this going?

No, that's good because your parents aren't right-wingers, because that's dangerous coming from right-wing parents. Yeah, yeah. When you're talking to Jacinda next, I said, oh, probably in a couple of weeks, and she said, well, when you're next talking to her, could you ask her if she's still got the photo of your dad? And I was like, what?

And so apparently she was in New Plymouth last week, end of last week for something. Well it's a lead into the election, they're getting around all of their electorates show and face, aren't they? They're going everywhere and apparently your mum said your dad, everybody was taking selfies but your dad didn't have his

phone. Of course. Why would a father leave the house with a mobile phone? Why? I know. And so he didn't have his camera, but Jacinda took a selfie of your father and of the two of them. And I was like. Because he's a long time Labour supporter. He grew up in the north of England.

Yeah. So she was a young candidate, right? And I was like, mum, I'm not asking if she's... She probably was just pretending. That's so cute that she was like, oh, I'll take a picture. But he's already got a photo. He's got a photo and a frame.

He wanted an updated picture. He wants an updated photo for the shrine. Does he still have his massive election billboard? He's got a big election billboard. We should get him a new one of those. A signed one. Updated. Oh my god, Christmas present. I'm not asking if she's got

this photo. She's the Prime Minister of New Zealand. She's got enough to do. But Fletch told me and I said, I'll ask. No shame. No shame at all. I said, that stuff, I said, hello there. So apparently last

week at New Plymouth's Labour Party. This is a message to the Prime Minister. By the way, I just literally told Vaughan when we were making coffee like 15 minutes ago. And you messaged. Wait, you always bug her. Can you just stop? She's running the country. And you're just like,

morning. Morning. I don't just like, morning. What's up here? I don't need to introduce myself. Morning. So apparently last week at New Plummers Labour Party get-together, you took a photo with Fletcher's dad because he didn't have his phone on him. He would love a copy. We're in the middle of a global pandemic, Vaughan.

She's got better things to do Not five minutes later Sure did With the very intention of sending it to him But then I got bloody distracted And here is the photo of Fletcher's dad She still had it Fletcher's dad and Jacinda

Wow What did you get distracted doing? Running a country or something? She replied No Because she's busy I pushed it too far Wow. What did you get distracted doing, running a country or something? She replied? No. Because she's busy. I pushed it too far.

So we've got the photo. Yeah. Great. Oh, my God. Why don't you get your dad's blue eyes? I don't know. I just got these brown ones. Yeah, that's a shame. He's got a lovely head of hair.

He does. He does. He does. Okay, okay. Why is your dad hotter than you? This is what happens when you see a daddy's daddy. It always gets exponentially hotter. That's how the daddy scale works. You should have seen your granddad.

We've got an update on, no we don't, it was a ruse. What? We don't have a sock update, Fletch. That's a surprise for you because we know how much you love this. Oh, piss off. I don't want to do this now. Yay!

Oh, no. I'm going home. Drag this out for as long as you want. That face was amazing. I actually thought you were going to get. Anger, confusion, despair. It had it all. I don't want to do this.

It had it all. What are we doing? So it was actually picked up by the fact Jared, who joined the show, producer Jared. He's the latest on board. He said that he noticed, and maybe I've been with you for so long now.

Yeah. 16 and nearly a half years. Yeah. I haven't noticed this. Right. I've teased you a couple of times, but then just got used to it. Wait, so is this a segment

where we're bullying me? Effectively, yes. Yes. Great. There should be something in the button bar called, yes. Yes. You're right. There should be something in the button bar called sock one. Yes, there is. Do you have sock one? Do you want me to play this?

Wait, not yet. Okay. This is from Wednesday last week. This is one day. Oh, my God. Between the hours of seven and nine. Is this me saying the time wrong? It's you saying the word.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right It's you saying the word? All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. Oh, I could do that for every time you said the. Or hello. Like, obviously I say that all right.

Because it's what I do to wrap you guys up, because you won't stop yarning. All right. All right. All right. There's only one place you'll find more alrights. Is there sock two there? Yes. So we've put all your alrights

into the other place and it's not Matthew McConaughey. Right, okay. There's more alrights about your or my animal rights. Here it comes. Here it comes. Here it comes. Here it comes. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. Cool. Were you guys happy? I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty happy. All right. Just keep an ear out for that from the rest of the show because that happens about 14 times a show. I'm going to make a montage of all of yours. What's mine?

I don't know, but I'll find one. Find one for both of you. All right. All right. All right. Next on the show. All right. Z right. All right. Next on the show. All right, next. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Joining us in studio is Sarah, who works out in the office here at ZM. Integral part. Integral. It's also her birthday today. Integral. Happy birthday. Thanks. What does that do?

Beside your name and Facebook Messenger, there's a wee cake. Oh, Facebook knows. Does that mean we're getting cake? Have we had a birthday cake in office post-COVID? I didn't get a birthday cake, so Sarah doesn't get one. Yeah, I don't get a birthday cake. Maybe we have a joint birthday cake. Yeah, that would make sense.

That's halfing. Leo's sharing? Do Leo's share? No. Oh, my God. No, that is not a trait of the Leo. No. But it was actually a birthday party at the weekend that we wanted to talk about

because something happened to you at this party. I'm over it now so it's fine to talk about it. So all of us were at a 40th on Saturday night. One of the girls in the office had her 40th and just to set the scene, we're all in a room

all dancing, music playing and someone else in the office arrives and they brought a plus one with them. Okay. And so I went up, gave them a hug, said hello, and then... You hugged the plus one! No, no. Oh, actually I did, but first hugged the person I know. The invited person. Yeah, so the invited

person I know, give them a hug, introduced myself to their plus one, and the plus one was like, happy birthday! And I was like, oh no, it's not mine. And then it clicked like 10 seconds after. She thought I was 40. And today you turn?

25. Wow. Was it dark lighting? It was kind of dark and you could tell because instantly her face dropped and I was like, oh, no, it's not that embarrassing. I'm like, fine. And then I was like, oh, no, it's not that embarrassing. Like, fine. And then I was like, oh, my God. That's quite a lot.

That's a lot of years. That's 15 years old. Yeah. Yeah. You don't look 40. I don't think so. No. Our first guess was you were 22 today.

And I'll take that. Yeah. And I am 22. I said 20, and you put up a 2 to indicate 20. That's why I said 22. Yeah. Because I said 20. Well, you would have thought I was 20.

No. Yes. It, you would have thought I was 20. No. He was just like, I'm just shooting. So I thought it would be funny, and I remember this happening a while ago to executive intern producer Anya. Do you remember when someone thought you were your boyfriend's mum? Yes. And to all the people who

now, whenever I put up a photo of me and my boyfriend on Instagram, comment, how's your son? It's still raw. That's good stuff. But you were at the, how did, tell us that story again. You were at the pharmacy, weren't you? Yes, I was at the pharmacy. I'd gone in first and I'd handed over the prescription.

She said, cool, that'll be a few minutes, take a seat. Went to take a seat. My boyfriend had brought the car around and coming about five minutes later, he walks in and the pharmacist says, you're looking for mum. Were you the only person in the pharmacy? Naturally, it was entirely empty apart from me. There's no confusion.

It's a double whammy because you look like his mum in her mind, but also he looks so young that he must be lost. We both cried that night. I love that story. I love that story so much. But I thought we should take some stories of when someone got your age really wrong. Like, have you been in that situation

where someone either thought you were way younger or way older than you are? And it's always more offensive when they think you're way older than you are. Yeah. So it's not a good thing, is it? No. That's not great for the ego, no. You got ID'd though, didn't you?

I get ID'd all the time. You always poo-poo this. Why? It happened once. No, I get ID'd all the time. And sometimes I am with my husband. Mr. Toyboy, that's why. And sometimes I'm by myself. Because they think you're buying your son liquor. And they I am with my husband. Mr. Toyboy, that's why. And sometimes I'm by myself.

Because they think you're buying your son liquor. And they need to check your license. Can't help it if I've got a youthful face. It's just on his body. Savage. We're talking about when you, when people get your age wrong. Way wrong. Way wrong.

Real wrong. Today, Sarah in the office turns 25. She went to her 40th at the weekend. Someone she didn't know thought it was her 40th. She's like, ouch. Ouch. Chelsea, when did someone get your age way wrong? So last year, November, I took my children to Australia,

and my youngest is eight, so he was too short to go on the adult roller coasters. Right. So we lined up for the kids' roller coasters. Yeah. We got to the front of the line, and the lady said to me and my son, you'll need an adult to go on this ride with you. And my son just looked at me and was like, this is my mum.

And we just laughed and laughed. It was so embarrassing. Wow. Do you look eight? Me? Yeah. Wow. Are you really short?

I always just thought it was a height. Oh, okay. Yeah. So I'm only 5'2", and I do get ID'd all the time as well. But, yeah, it was so embarrassing. Oh, no. Short friends always get it. Yeah, thanks.

You're cool, Chelsea. Brianna, when did someone get your age way wrong? I was at A&E with my brother and my dad. My brother's a bit younger than me, about eight years. Yeah. And he came out, was ready to see us. We go in, and he goes, oh, so you must be mum and dad. Oh!

Actually not mum. No, yeah. Oh, no, that's awkward, isn't it? You're like, where's the cosmetic surgery wing of this? Yeah. Did you put them right or did you just let them have it? It was one of those things that we'd been waiting for so long. We were so tired, we just kind of nodded our heads.

And then when me and my dad got into the actual room, we just pissed ourselves laughing. We thought it was the most hilarious thing, considering there's only eight years between me and my brother. Brilliant. Brianna, thanks for your call. Amy, when did something get your age completely wrong?

I sort of got a bit of a baby face, and I went to, I had my son young anyway, but I went to enrol him in primary school and I said to the office lady, oh I'm here for an enrolment and she goes, oh sorry sweetheart, you're going to have to come back and bring your parents because we can't let siblings enrol other siblings.

Wow. That's such an assumption. Yeah. Wouldn't you know, though? Wouldn't, like, your time in a school office, wouldn't there be a chat where, like, oh, don't assume relationships? Yeah.

You know, like, don't. Ages. Yeah, ages. God, if I had any sort of retail or anything dealing with people, there'd be a chat on day one, I'd be like, never assume anything. No. Because I guarantee you'll be wrong.

Thanks, Amy. Andrew, when did someone get your age way wrong? Hey, guys, it was this precious Saturday night, so very still vivid in my memory. Yep. Out on a date night, first night in a long time. The wife and I had been out with no kids. Yep.

Sitting in a lovely bar having a beer, and some of our other mates rocked up, and I assume it was one of their girlfriends, and somehow we got talking about age, and she said, oh, you look pretty good for a 55-year-old. And I said, honey, I'm only 42. Where did she get a 55-year-old? 55 from?

She just read about it, man. I have no idea, Warren. My wife thought it was the best joke. She actually bought her a drink. And I was very not impressed. Well, I hope you held out from the wife that night. She didn't get any. That's how we go.

She didn't get any. Andrew, thanks for your call. Some text messages. Somebody said, I had an accident on a motocross bike. I was getting taken to hospital. And the nurse there asked my girlfriend if she could fill out the paperwork and said, yeah, it's always best when the mother fills it out. She was one month older than me.

The best part is she totally, if she'd never told me, I never would have known because I can't remember anything about the trip. Oh, no. But she told me. Thank God that's never happened to me. I'd be so pissed. It's coming. It's coming.

One day when my dad was 40, we were at the park and one of my friends said, is that your granddad? And dad was just like, okay, probably going to start moisturizing and using sunscreen. Is that never too late to start? A shop assistant thought my mum and I were sisters. I was

14 and mum was in her 40s. I hope it was mum looking young rather than me looking old. When I first started dating my wife, I was 22, but apparently after I left, her parents had a chat to me, had a chat to her

about how dating men in their late 30s probably isn't a great idea for a 20-year-old. Oh my God. And she was like, oh no, he's only... 22. He's 22, he's just only a little bit older than me.

That's bad. Someone thought my 15-year-old sister was my child. I'm 22. I never get ID'd. It's bloody rude. Please ID everybody just to make them feel better. Lots of it. Lots of it.

I got sent away from an R13 movie. I was 23 and I had ID, but they didn't believe it was me or my ID. So I wasn't allowed into a 13-year-old movie. My boyfriend is a 40-year-old Filipino, and he constantly not only gets being very young, people are asking for ID, et cetera, he will get approached by Maori people in our neighbourhood for a hongi, and he doesn't know what's happening.

So there's age and race confusion. Yeah, yeah, wow. Fleshfornamegan, the podcast, ZM. Fact of the day, day can't flush toilets on British trains at the station because it all just goes straight out the bottom. What? Surely not. I shit you, pun intended, not.

So, I found articles From 2017 Yeah That said Hey look Yeah yeah right This still happens There was a bit of an expose

Right In 2012 That said Did you guys know This is still happening And then five years later In 2017 Someone's like

Is that still happening It's still happening 2017 Excuse me That's still happening And they said We'll have this remedied By 2019 Thus I found an article From 2019 That says It's still happening. Excuse me, that's still happening. And they said, we'll have this remedied by 2019.

Thus, I found an article from 2019 that says train firm backtracks, probably tracks there's an intended pun as well, over pledged to ban rural sewerage on railway lines. And he said, yeah, I did say in 2017 that we would not do this anymore, but it's just not going to happen. Okay. It's not going to happen until 2023. He just keeps buying himself more time.

Yeah. He's had over 10 years from the initial report in 2012 that it was happening that brought this to light. So apparently the question was asked because there's signs, not on all the trains, so not like on the tube. Yep. I don't think there are toilets on the tube, eh? No.

There's toilets at the tube stations, but on the trains that go into city, Britain's got heaps of old train lines and it's still a really used form of transport to get from cities to, you know, just scenically to see Britain. But you cannot flush the toilet in the station because it just goes straight on the ground. Number ones and number twos. Surely some of the nicer, fast trains that they've got have... The new trains? Like if you took the train from Paris to London,

you know that fancy train? The Channel. I don't know because that would involve... Because I've definitely been to the toilet on that. Did it say no flushing at the station? No. So that might be different because it goes in both. You know, like the Parisians, the French might be like, no, no, no. No, wee-wee.

They don't wee-wee on the train. Wee-wee. Wee-wee. No, no. No, no, poo-poo. No, no, wee-wee. Right, but what the older trains. So the older ones that still go.

Yeah, they promised they'd put, they said it shouldn't be too much of a deal to change from a hopper toilet, which is the one that literally you flush and it just opens and it just goes straight onto the tracks with a retention tank, which would then, when they pull in, there would be a machine that could come and empty it when it showed warning signs that it was going to,

you know, likely to be full on the next leg of the journey. That's so nasty. Yeah. Someone had to, like, fix the train tracks. It was just like... I That's so nasty. Yeah. Someone had to like fix the train tracks. It's just like... I know, toilet paper? Poos and... Yeah.

They said it mixes with the flushing liquid involves disinfectant, but toilet paper... That's still just on the tracks though, right? Look at this. That's a tomato plant growing in human poos. Which is great to know that that Matt Damon movie when he's stuck on Mars

could actually happen with the potatoes and the peas if it can grow a tomato. Yeah. Mind you, I don't know if you're putting a little greenhouse on Mars. I don't know if I'd get enough sun to get a good vine-ripened tomato. So today's fact of the day is... Which, by the way, don't forget, $500 cash-o midday and 4 o'clock. We're going to ask you questions about the fact of the day

for your chance to win. All thanks to Save My Bacon. Yeah, super easy. Today's fact of the day is you can't flush toilets at British train stations because whatever you've just done in it will just go straight on the tracks below. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. An Auckland parking warden is who I was talking about before when I said they're taking money off you. But granted, you've done something wrong. So I don't have a car, so. Are you some master park somewhere or not had a registration to Warren Fitness? Yeah.

Or broke the rules? 14,520 tickets in a year. In a year. In a year. In a year. So roughly, if they worked a five-day working week. Yeah. Oh, I didn't account for holidays.

That's okay. We're just doing roughly. 58 a day. Whoa. 58 tickets a day, which comes in if they're working an eight-hour day at over seven. Right. Over seven an hour.

That's a lot. Yeah. That must be like downtown where there's lots of cars always. It's apparently parking officer A worked in a fringe. So like Auckland Central is the CBD. Yeah.

You don't go in there unless you absolutely have to in a car. Because it's, and rightly so. It's madness. It's rigged for pedestrians. Yeah. But it's the fringe. It's your Ponsonby's, your Newmarket's, your Parnell's.

Oh, okay. Around there. They're the hotbed for tickets. Yeah, they're a hotbed for tickets. Okay. Because people park their car and then will bus into work if they work in the CBD. Oh, okay. And try to like loophole it.

But they get caught. Also average two a day for getting cars towed. Oh, wow. And they don't name the parking warden, just parking officer A. Are they praising them or just? Well, they're just saying they've got an eye for it. The next most prolific parking officer had 9,929. Oh, so they're like 5,000 ahead.

Yeah. Well, they should do some kind of annual. And under half the cars tow Yeah. Well, they should do some kind of annual. And under half the cars towed. Well, they should do some kind of annual awards. Let's get all the other council stats. See if they can beat this guy. Probably not. It could be a girl.

You don't know. It might be a female. Yeah, no, it could be. It's a parking officer. Yeah, that's not gender specific. Yeah. Okay. There used to be one in Hamilton back in the day when I worked in Hamilton,

and she wore Oakley sunglasses. Okay. And that was the one. She was lethal, mate. Yeah. She'd walk past, you know when they chalk your tyre? Yep.

And you're like, so you're about half an hour there. Yep. And she'd just appear out of nowhere the minute you parked and she'd chalk and she'd be back

at the 29th minute and she'd stand there and she'd look at her watch and they'd just be like, skomp ticket. Wow. And you'd be back at the 29th minute. And she'd stand there and she'd look at her watch and then just be like, scum, ticket. Wow. And you'd just be like, oh, damn, girl, you got no heart. I reckon I'd be really good at that job. Yeah, you would be.

Because I'm a real stickler for the rules. Yeah, yeah. But what if you get to a car and you're like, okay, I'm going to ticket this car. And then, like, some woman comes up and she's crying. And she's got two babies in her arms. She's like, I just I'm going to ticket this car. And then, like, some woman comes up and she's crying. And she's got two babies in her arms. She's like, I just can't afford a ticket today. Would you let her off? I would.

I'd be an absolute walkover. Why are you over time? Why are you over time? Pirates stole my babies. I've just got them back. You can't put a time restriction on a pirate. I'd probably just run away from any confrontation and leave the ticket there. Oh, so you would still ticket that poor woman?

I'd let her off. She'd break the rule. I'd be a walk-over. I'd have to get it under my windscreen right before it'd count. I don't think that's a thing. It's not a thing. I didn't see it.

They can send it to you. That's like just pulling it out from your windscreen and chucking it in the gutter and being like, I didn't see it. It blew away. How many people try that? Living in the city, there must be a lot, because I see a lot flapping around.

That doesn't get you out of it, throwing the ticket away. First off, people just get back in the car, pull it out, and be like, that's somebody else's problem. And they print them off on that paper that doesn't go soggy. So that's no excuse. That's no excuse that you didn't see it. Does it fade in the sun? Nah.

You left it there long enough? Oh, maybe, I don't know. Like, sorry, I abandoned my car for eight months. The sun... The pirates. The ticket. They took you to sea. Exactly.

You can't put a time restraint on a pirate. It's established. Apparently, no extra incentive for issuing more notices. Like, it's not a key performance indicator or a KPI. If you're in the sales industry. If you're cranking more tickets, it's just... So, what was the difference between one and two? Over 5,000.

See, if I was a parking warden, I'd do like three an hour, and then I'd just sit on the steps somewhere in a park. No, I think I'd get real jazzed about every one I did. I'd be like, cha-ching. But it's not your money. No, I know. I'd just be using it to get my steps up. But I'd do it on skates and then I'd be

even better. Oh yeah, you'd get to cars quicker. Yeah. Hell so. No, because what if you're issuing a ticket and someone's like, wind down the window and they're like, screw you. And you're like, excuse me. And you've got to put something in the window and they wind it up and then you're stuck and then they take off and you're on skates. Well, it's better than being on my feet.

My skates can keep up. Getting dragged on the motorway to 80k an hour and your skate wheels are just getting smaller and smaller and smaller. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Oh, heartbreaking news for Whangarei and the eel-loving community. Local eel celebrity, Eela McPherson, has gone missing. For 35 years, Eela McPherson has delighted the children of Whangarei. Wait, how long do eels live for? Ages.

Eels are fascinating creatures. 100 years. What? I think they can live up to 100 years. Just Googling. Holy shit. 155 years. Yeah, New Zealand.

They outlive us. The Brantovic eel lives for 155 years. Oh, no. I wouldn't want to meet a 155-year-old eel. Does it keep on growing? Yeah, they get big. Is it like a boa constrictor? They get big and big and big.

Because I remember going, eel? You might have the wrong breed of eel there. Okay. Because there's a few. We've got the New Zealand longfin and the New Zealand shortfin eel. They're about 60 years old, aren't they? No, New Zealand freshwater eels can live up to 100. Wow.

That's incredible. That's fascinating because nobody's ever seen them breeding either. So at the end of their life, should they not be stuck in a pond, like Eel McPherson was, delighting children, and still even if Eel McPherson was

20 when originally pondered, 35 years later, in her 50s, she still isn't at the 100, because apparently they breed one time in their life and it's just before they die. Seriously? They go from the freshwater rivers of New Zealand. They follow the river out to sea and then they swim to they're not sure where.

Why don't they just put a tracker on them? Tonga because they're not sure when they're going to leave. They've probably got eels with trackers on them, but they are not old enough yet to hoon up there. What if there's a log in the way or a dam? They go under it. Oh, so that's getting back up the river. Yeah.

Going down the river, they follow it. Say they did get to a dam. They're quite adept at slithering on grass and stuff, so they might wait and then slither around it. But there's things called eel ladders, which some rivers have. If there is a dam or something they can't get past, and it's just to the side, and because there's water flowing through it, they can feel that that's where the flow is growing,

and they go in and they go down. And then they can come back up it as well. Wait, so they're on a freshwater lake or stream, but then they go in the sea? Yep, and they go somewhere up by Tonga. They're by. Hmm. They're by. Hmm? They're by.

There's a term for it. By water. There's a term for the fact that they can go in fresh water and sea water. I don't think we need to look it up. Well, let's just call it by water. So they go up somewhere. Our eels, New Zealand eels, go up somewhere near Tonga. They're not exactly sure where, but they presume it's in very deep tropical water.

They lay between 1 and 20 million eggs. Those are fertilised in an unknown manner. So they don't know if it's fertilised in eel and then laid or fertilised once it's left the eel because they've never witnessed it. And then the mature eels die. And the eggs

end up floating to the surface and they go into a very flat larvae and they just drift along ocean currents and get brought back to New Zealand and they'll go up the river. What about the eels in that Western Springs? Yuck, there's heaps of them. Well, how long have they been there?

Because that's something they need to think about. When they die, they won't spawn in any old lake. Oh, won't they? Oh, no. They won't. That's why it's really hard to farm them. Right, okay. It's really hard to farm them.

Weird. You've kind of got to catch them. And you can fatten them up and get them bigger, but you've got to catch them. Where's Earl McPherson? Well, they don't know. Because there was a once in a 500-year flood, and it might just be me,

but these are happening far more often than once in 500 years. I heard this on the news the weekend when there was the once in 500 year flood. I'm like, we keep saying that every few months. Yeah. Like, let's stop saying that. Oh, this is a one in 100 year flood. And then really another bad month, oh, this is a one in a 200 year flood.

But didn't we take care of that with a one in a 100 year flood? Yeah. Oh, no, that's a one in a 100 year. This only counts for the next 200 years. We've used up all of our floods. Let's just say what it is. The planet's dying. Yeah.

We're creating extreme weather conditions. Could Eel McPherson have gone to have babies? Eel McPherson could have been washed to sea. That's the hope of original owner George's granddaughter, Alice. She said now Eel would have had to have gone down the driveway, across the road, and at high tide she would have been straight into the sea. Oh, so she's in the sea. So hopefully she got into the sea. Because otherwise they would

have seen Eel McPherson on the land. Somewhere, yeah. Yeah, Eel McPherson presumably got to another body of water that during the flight it would have connected them all. Right. So, onward Eel McPherson, onward. It is so crazy. Just think about when... That's so

fascinating. Did you ever go eeling as a kid? Yep. So when you like caught a massive eel. When you get up on the bank and you're like. Oh yeah, you're trying to grab them. We always just chuck them back. We cooked one once. Ew, what? You don't cook them.

It wasn't great, but I feel like it probably wasn't cooked properly. We just wound it round and round and put it in the crock pot with some magic. No, we didn't. We didn't. Mum would never, ever have let us put an eel in the crock pot. Imagine it. Do you have to wash the slimy off it? Actually, I don't want to know.

Fred the neighbour took care of it, but I'm pretty sure we smoked it over kerosene, which looking back wasn't a great idea. No, because they had that. It's a jet fuel. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast,

why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And you say, lives here. ZM.