ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 29th October 2020

Episode Date: October 28, 2020

Mankiest Kitchen Appliance  New Tinder Feature  Vaughan's New Purchase  Top 6: Ball Vehicles  Lucy from Shit you Should Care About!  What was your Embarrassing P.E Injury?  Megan's Baby Diary!  Stranger Rings: Episode 1  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app to get McCafe rewards today. And Fletch, you've just nabbed a couple of grapefruit there from the free citrus box in the kitchen. Yeah, second day running, somebody is bringing in grapefruit from their tree at home. And I tell you what, delicious. When I went past yesterday, there was only one lone little mandy in there. Yeah, I left that in.

No, it was a grapefruit. I left it in there because it was little and manky. It was not a grapefruit. It was small. I know. Well, I take this as a real step. They've stepped up. They've stepped to me because I've got citrus trees.

Yeah, but you haven't brought in any of your grapefruit. No, well, everything's kind of out of season. But there is some grapefruit up the tree, but I have to climb the tree to get them. I'd love for you to bring some in. Okay. Because I'm not on the pill, so I can eat grapefruit. You're pregnant. I know.

Have you been eating more grapefruit? Smash the grapefruit pill so I can eat grapefruit. You're pregnant. I know. Have you been eating more grapefruit? Because you love the grapefruit. I'll shake the tree this afternoon and see what falls. So wait, can you eat grapefruit? Yeah. Oh, because you're not on the pill? Yeah. Oh, that's fantastic. But last time you brought in citrus, I juiced like 30 oranges and had a drink of straight orange juice.

Did you wee a bit hot? Yeah, and it gave me horrific heartburn. Did it? You are the orange juice heartburn person yeah yeah somebody else too and they're like well you've just it's like lactose intolerant people with ice cream they're like well i've got to decide that this ice cream is going to outweigh the farts and poos i have to do this after yeah it was good i can't think of a single time where an ice cream isn't worth a poo you have an ice cream you're worth a poo You have an ice cream

You're like man that was a good ice cream If it cost me Four trips to the bog this afternoon It'll still be worth it at the end of it But I understand there's other associated issues with it I just get a little gassy Please don't make light of us I shan't

I won't Okay well Fletcher's going to be full of vitamin C. Absolutely. That's why I don't get sick. I don't have the cold or the COVID. You don't have the COVID thanks to fantastic management. Border management. From your company's leaders.

Yeah, that's true. That's what you've got to thank for that, because no amount of grapefruit is going to stop that pandemic. Has anyone tried grapefruit? ZM. Hit music. Live the air. Fletch, Fawn and Megan. The podcast. that pandemic. Has anyone tried grapefruit? Welcome to the show, Fletch, Fauna, Megan. Anya, you've left your charger here, love. You won't be able to run your computer without your charger.

No, that's someone else has left that there. This is not your charger. Oh wow, somebody's computer's running out of battery today and they'll be, excuse my French, shit out of luck when it comes to recharging. Now I get to put my computer in the charger. And you just raised a good point. Just while the news was playing, when do we find out about the referendums?

Because she, yeah, she said, and I quote, I can't wait to hoon a bong. That's what she said. I said, it's five minutes to six. That hardly seems appropriate. It's been a week and a bit, right? And they said two weeks. Yeah, it's going to be two weeks.

I reckon much like COVID, they'll wait till Monday. They'll be like, we'll tell you Monday. Because you know how every time there was a COVID change, they'd be like, oh yeah, we'll tell you Monday. Because they don't want time there was a COVID change, they'd be like, oh yeah, we'll tell you Monday. Because they don't want everyone getting loose over the weekend. Maybe. True. I don't know.

But then I don't know the steps after that. Like, it's not like, boom, get into it. But it's not going to be immediate. Does it have to be like you have a date? Yeah, it's got to be passed into law and that kind of thing. Just like you won't be able to go and euthanise Nana if that passes straight away. What if she really wants it? I don't know.

She'll have to wait. Right. Nana's like, yee-haw, I'm not waiting. Syringe straight in the jiff. Oh my God. You've got to laugh or you'll cry because it's your Nana and you love her dearly. Yeah, I don't know.

We're going to find all of that out. Yeah, okay. I don't know what the latest predictions were either. It was pretty close. Pretty close. Yeah, yeah don't know. We're going to find all of that out. Yeah, okay. I don't know what the latest predictions were either. It was pretty close. It was pretty close with the marijuana one anyway. Yeah. On the show today, another chance for you to win cash with the Mandalorian.

Yes! I started re-watching yesterday. I cranked through four episodes, which in one day is insane for me. I don't usually have that much time. Good to see you've got your priorities in line. Yeah, well I started and then I was like, I can't stop and yummed it up.

Season two streaming only on Disney Plus starting tomorrow. So a chance for you to win $500 cash on the show this morning. Easy peasy. The top six most Kiwi ways to arrive at your school ball. Somebody pulled up to a school ball in a John Deere tractor.

A brand new one. Very clean John Deere tractor too. I feel like dad might work at the local yard. Okay. Right. Next, the grossest thing. The dirtiest thing that's in your kitchen. You use it all the time Okay

A cookware store in the UK Has looked into the dirtiest appliances And things in your kitchen It's pretty grim I don't know if we would fall under We're pretty tidy the three of us And some of these are pretty disgusting But the most

The filthiest appliance in your kitchen is Blender Nah, because you wash that after every time But do you get everything? Yeah, but the blender's got all those hard to reach bits And you just put hot water in it And then it gets all foamy and bubbly And you tip it out and you're like, yay, done.

But it's not the blender. Dishwasher? Oh, dishwasher's not mentioned in this. Because if you ever take that bottom bit out, where everything drains through, like the dishwasher looks clean and you run one of those stainless steel cleaning processes in the old drain, the drain unblocker.

Yeah. And you just sit in the racks. Yeah. But if you ever take that thing out where the goop goes out the bottom and it all, it's like a shower plate. There's peas, there's always little bits of beans. It's just yuck.

Yeah. Real yuck. Not the dishwasher. And the dishwasher didn't get mentioned. It's actually- Oven. The oven gets an honourable mention in this, but it's the microwave. Oh, yeah.

Because- That's a fair call because you don't clean that, do you? Because you shut the door immediately. So the site's gone. I didn't think about it. But like also steam as well. Like the juice of chicken steaming in there and you don't wipe it. And then you put something else in there and then you don't wipe it.

But like if it explodes, you're wiping it, right? Not always. No. The problem is if you've got a microwave under a bench, you never see the roof or pretty much the whole back wall because you just kind of reach over, grab it, and out you go. But if you hear something go, you've got to wipe it. Oh, yeah, you give it a check for a wipe.

Not always, Megan. Well, we recently went to defrost some frozen dog meat and then forgot about it for four days and that required like a full blown baking soda-esque vanilla essence wipe down of the microwave. Oh no I would have got a whole new microwave. That's great. It doesn't take much eh? No.

But they did offer a handy tip that if you cut up half a lemon put it in some water and microwave it and then the steam of the water, like lemon water, makes it easy to wipe down. That's a good tip. Oh, that's a good idea. The cleaning power of Thitchrith.

They've said that the oven, 69% of people don't clean their ovens. Nice. But I just think that gets to like 180 degrees. Exactly, yeah. Because you know what a self-cleaning oven does? It just makes it as hot as the oven can possibly go. And it just crusts everything off.

Yeah. And then people don't clean their fridges and they don't change their tea towels often enough. Oh, because how often should you be doing your tea towels? Every day, every second day. We go through multiple tea towels a day. Yeah. We're loose, guys.

Your tea towel and your cloth, if you ever brave a sniff of one of those, you're like, oh, God. Oh, I never sniff the cloth. No, never sniff it. Never sniff the cloth. How many are you rocking on Rotate, then? Must have at least 10.

We've got a big drawer full of tea towels. Yeah, right. We go pretty hard. Hard on the tea towels. Big tea towel usage. Because I'll do that thing where you've got one, if I'm cooking dinner, I've got one primarily for wiping my hands.

Now that can't be used for anything else. So as soon as dinner's finished, that's on the floor at the end of the bench to indicate it needs to be washed. Now how do we feel about at the end of the night spraying, wiping the bench and using the tea towel to wipe the bench and then washing the tea towel?

Oh yeah. If it's going straight in the washing machine. But not the tea towel that wipe the bench. And then washing the tea towel. Oh, yeah. Yes, yeah. If it's going straight in the washing machine. But not the tea towel that you use to wipe your hands because then you're just spreading everything that was on your hands all over the bench. Yeah, true. Okay.

Just checking because I do that and I'm just like, I don't care. But some people have issue with it. Because you shouldn't spray and wipe, kill it anyway. I think so, yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. This story from

our compatriots, our car chaps and the fam. Driven.co.nz. That's right. Mr Bun Buns. He works for Driven. He likes all sorts of Brun Bruns. Bun Buns and the

Brun Bruns. That's what a segment should be called. Bun Buns on Brun Bruns. This is our executive intern. Take a look at a segment on our show called Bun Buns on the Broom Brooms. That's what a segment should be called. Bun Buns on Broom Brooms. This is our executive intern. Take it to a segment on our show called Bun Buns on Broom Brooms. That is pretty cute. He comes in and just says a whole lot of stuff about fuel injection and it just goes right over. It's my entire life.

But you get to travel in all the cars he brings home. Yeah, we went in a Tesla last night. And I played with the farty thing. Oh you know how I feel about it. Because I only did, I did that, I did an article for Driven, it's gonna be in print sometime soon about the new Land Rover Defender. It's a lot of fun just having somebody else's car to fang around for the weekend, they give it to you full of petrol and you don't have to fill it up to give it back.

I'm too scared to drive, I'd be too scared going anywhere, I'd be like, don't touch me. I'm going close. So the Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, has said that the government, you might have seen the government crown limousines. They call them crown limousines, but they're not like big tacky 80s limousines, which was disappointing to me the first time I saw one.

Yeah, they're just like BMWs, aren't they? Yeah. And you see they're either silver. They're BMW 7 Series, so they're like pretty big BMWs. And all the license plates, because you see them sometimes parked outside of work if they come in for interviews, are like they're either silver. They are the BMW 7 Series, so they're like pretty big BMWs. And all the license plates, because you see them sometimes parked outside of work if they come in for interviews,

they're like, so it's CR for Crown. Yeah. Mm, CR. Well, you see them waiting at the airports for the MPs. Well, there was chat pre-last election as it was practical to replace the Crown limousines with electric vehicles. And now they have begun at the Audi e-trons, which are electric vehicles.

Oh, the Audi e-tron. Yeah, I know. They're not going to go for a Nissan Leaf, are they, Megan? I was like, are they just going to get Priuses or something? But no, they're getting an Audi. You can't have your Prime Minister arriving in an Uber, Megan. I'd be down for it. She's the woman of the people.

Or a budget taxi, an eco-cab. She'd probably ask for it and they're like, no, Jacinda, you can't have a Prius. You can't have a Leaf. Don't they like when politicians travel from other countries and world leaders,

we take them in them. Pick them up at the airport in a Prius or a Leaf. You've got to pick them up in a nice e-vehicle. So these are very nice. They're very expensive, though. $155,000 New Zealand dollars.

That's before on-road costs. But then what's an on-road cost of an electric vehicle? Warrant and reg. Yeah. Because you don't need to pay a road user, which is a savings, because the last ones were diesels. Right.

So they're actually very nice looking electric vehicles though. Do they get like fitted out with like bulletproof glass and stuff? Like, you know how you hear about like the President Trump's limo? Yeah. No, I think it's more just America. Not here. It's pretty close here. Yeah.

Maybe they've got an easy to clean paint because it's more likely that someone's just going to throw fruit or an egg or something in New Zealand. Yeah, right. Which is nice. That's why we like to live here. Yeah. Really, really nice that that's the biggest possible threat to the Prime Minister. But yeah, looking to get some electric Audis.

So watch out because you don't hear electric cars coming. You'll just hear the slow whine. Yeah. There you go. As a member of Parliament just hear the slow one. Yeah. There you go. As a member of parliament, I get run over. They're so quiet. That's why the Tesla's got the fart button. Yeah.

So you can fart so people hear you coming. All right. Humbly. On with the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Tinder is set to launch a new video function face-to-face.

So basically if you match with someone and you both agree, you'll be able to connect on a video chat. Right. So they'll be just like when you're using Messenger or whatever, Instagram, you'll be able to press a little video call and call them. And you don't have to exchange any like personal information. You can just be like, hit it. All right, so it's a call without a phone number or a Facebook profile.

But you'd have to match them first still. Yes. Like you couldn't just call random people you see on Tinder. No, you have to match and then you both have to, they can't just call you. I don't think you both have to kind of accept. What's the etiquette there? Because like you're really close friends. You'd video call them normally, right?

But would you just randomly call someone on a dating app? Would you say, hey, I'll call you? It's like when you accidentally bump that thing on Instagram when you're replying to someone you don't know and all of a sudden it starts ringing them and you don't know how to hang up because no one makes calls via Instagram. You're like, ah, and then they message me like, call again.

You're like, it was a huge mistake. Well, famously during lockdown, producer Jared, 400 and something matches. 56. 50, 456 matches. How do you feel about this news? I'm worried for the ladies out there, to be honest. Yeah. Like all these unsolicited DPs, and now you're going to get some unsolicited DPs.

That's why Tinder doesn't have the message, the send a photo function. Because otherwise women will be inundated with DPs. So you can't send photos through Tinder? No. So you would have to... Huh. You'd have to get them on like a social media.

And then send it over that. If you wanted to. So much room for error. I just think, was it Chatroulette? I just think of that. It'll just become, like, guys, yeah. Do you think? Yeah, I really think it'll happen.

But then it would be good for, like, Catfish. This is probably bad news for, do they still do MTV Catfish? Yeah. Okay, probably bad news for them. Yeah, that's a good point. Because you could instantly find out if someone's legit or not. Because you're like, video call me. Because at the moment I say, add me on Snapchat.

Which is a pretty duck boy thing to do. Right. Divert to Snapchat. Yeah, because then they'll eventually send you a selfie and you're like, you're actually an 84-year-old man. Yeah. Hot. When are we meeting?

G'day, Walter. Walter, you're absolutely and you're like, you're actually an 84-year-old man. Yeah. Yeah, right. Hot. When are we meeting? G'day, Walter. Walter, you're absolutely in my wheelhouse, son. Let's do this. Right, so what, they're rolling that out? Yes, and you can disable it at any time and you can report people as well, so I guess Tinder will disable theirs. Yeah, right.

There's some rules, but... Or do that thing where Tinder women hit up their mums and send them the photos and video screenshots they've been sent. Yeah. That's always a fun one. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I have been invested in the last few days in searching Trade Me

and other for sale sites for something I would like to purchase. And this Friday, I'm going to go have a look at one. Here we go. Is it animals? No, it's not animals. Okay. No, we've got two pigs coming and then that's animals. Of course it is.

For the minute. We still don't have a lot of animals. What about alpacas? Nah, I've got to put off those. Okay. The vet was just like, gave me the rundown on alpacas. So I'm anti-alpacas. Well, I'm not anti-alpacas, but I don't want alpacas.

Right, okay. Although they are very cute. No, I want a teeny tiny caravan. I don't even know what made me think of teeny tiny caravans. Oh, no, I tell you exactly what it was. Somebody on Twitter tagged us in, oh, no, they retweeted a really old tweet, and it was when we were tweeting Jacinda

about borrowing her caravan. Remember, was it 2000, it must have been 2016, the first day of summer, we broadcast from Mission Bay in Jacinda's tiny caravan. Yeah, and it was the old Top Twins caravan, wasn't it? That she bought off them. Become a chicken coop. She had it renovated and back on the road for like the 2011 campaign.

Yeah, right. And she'd meet constituents in there. Yeah. And they'd chew her ear off in the little red caravan. Yeah. So somebody retweeted that from 2016. Jacinda tweeted us a picture of it when I asked if we could borrow it. And I'm guessing people are just going back through Jacinda's social media now trying

to find something to trip her over on. That's what I assume, right? You get to a level of fame where people are like, right, let's see if they made a homophobic slur in 2008. And so that brought it to my attention. And I messaged the prime minister and I said, do you still have your little caravan? And she said, yes, I certainly do.

And I said, well, can you stop messaging the prime minister? She's got a country to run. She's just being polite. She's still got a small caravan that she owns. And I said, when is the inaugural Ardern Gay Ford tour of New Zealand and the caravan for New Zealand summer? And she said, probably when I retire. Why don't you buy hers?

And I said, well, not for a while. It's not for sale. I bet you asked. I bet you asked. No, I didn't. Because when she said she's still got it, I would have thought she would have offloaded it already. Right.

And then she mentioned that there is a camping trip planned. And I was like i could i could have one of those how much i like caravan little circle yeah yeah they're like a little bubble so what is this like a 1956. oh my god but you don't have the skills to do any of this up baby worry about it later that's not what i said It's exactly the conversation I had with Sade last night She's like You don't know how to do this I'm like

Baby, baby We'll worry about that later on baby You're the kind of guy that causes a holiday traffic jam because the I'm tired My little wheels

falling off The $500 trailer you brought off That's how much this one is at currently Yeah, the $500 caravan you bought off Trade Mears Come off it's axle

It's down a gorge and you have bloody T-bones. I'm waving at everybody like, sorry for the inconvenience. Enjoy your holiday. No, I'm taking someone who knows to have a look at it. To see if it's like Dua Lipa. If it's just going to cost a money pit to get back on the road versus if it's just going to be a little bit of work. Right.

But I've heard that these are the ones to go for, these old ones, because it was just a simpler time. Also, like, who are you going camping with? Your wife's not going to go camping in a caravan. She did say it was very cute, and I just was like, I just got the ball and I started running with it. I could see the tri-line. I'm just hoofing it down the sideline,

hoping no one catches me. But yeah, so that one's like 500 bucks and it's going to need some work. Yeah. But that's like, that's so, when you do them up, I guess because some of them are over 50 years old, they're very expensive. Of course they are. Yeah. So I can only afford the one that's like outside. I would imagine as well now that, I mean, there was a news article today.

This is not good news for those people that love overseas travel. They don't think things are going to pick up until 2022. Oh, I was talking to a guy just at a store that sells a whole lot of things. One thing, caravans. Yeah.

And he said they, caravans, they've never sold more caravans. Because people know they're stuck here. It's the same as those batches that we were talking about yesterday. Everyone's like, wow, we're here, aren't we? But like caravans, it's going to be the return of the caravan park. I remember when I was a kid, we used to go and stay in caravan parks. And they were like, it was just, it was always just this plethora of children.

You didn't know where your kids were. And then they'd come back at night for a feed. And then they'd be back off. It was like, it was a rad, it was New Zealand, baby. Good summer holidays. Yeah, I think it could be the return of the caravan park pregnancies. Great, okay, right. Get back to Hamilton and you find out your teenager's up the duff because of some shenanigans at Whangamata. You're like, oh God. Are you speaking from

experience? No, no. No. No, God no. No, you're lucky to get any. No. Oh, I didn't get any, no. My memory of a caravan park was being

tombstoned on the caravan, on the caravan park trampoline by a teenager when I was like eight. Yeah. He was dressed up as the ultimate warrior from wrestling.

Mum and dad were doing the dishes in the communal part. Yeah. And they just heard me crying. And my dad, like, gave this kid the what's fours. Wow. I just always remember that. Yay, holiday parks.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. From the ZM think tank. This is the top six. Hello there. The most Kiwi arrival to a school ball perhaps ever. And actually just nice to see school balls.

Yeah. Got to happen this year. Yeah, a few. Because that was one thing that popped up during like COVID. It was well down the list, but people being like, well, I don't get to do my school ball. It's like, oh, that's kind of a bit stink because that's something a lot of people really look forward to

when they're at school. Yeah. But school balls happen. And it was a rival on a big, flash, shiny John Deere tractor. Very expensive. Yeah. But they're quite tall as well. You'd have to get in and clean it. It'd be an emission.

Oh, right. Yes. And your dress. And where would you sit? Because when we were kids, like, look, it was the 80s and 90s, so there wasn't a lot of safety rules, but we just used to sit up on the mudguards of the tractor. I don't think you could sit there. Yeah, I don't know where you'd sit. Would you get grease on your dress? No, not this thing.

It's clean. This is clean as a whistle. All the wheels would drag your dress in under. Yeah. Well, Tom and Olivia arrived at the Wairarapa College school ball in the John Deere tractor. And what was the reception like? Was everyone like, wee?

Or? It was better than arriving in Dad's ute, muddy ute. That's very true. But you wouldn't have liked this at school. I thought you would have been all about this. Get the farmer honeys. Nah, not at that stage.

I think we looked into hiring something but then we're just like, whoa, that costs money and we don't have any. And our parents would have been like,

we're like, can we have a hundred bucks to hire a limo? They would have been like, no. Drop you off. No, we'll drop you off. Dad will wash the car

and we'll drop you off. So the top six most Kiwi ways to arrive at the school. No, we'll drop you off. Dad will wash the car. And we'll drop you off. So the top six most Kiwi ways to arrive at the school. Well, number six is on the back of a muddy Hilux. A muddy Toyota Hilux. Yes. And you don't clean your Hilux. No. Because the mud's covering the rust holes.

So if you clean it, you're just asking to fail your war on a fitness. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six most Kiwi ways to arrive at your school ball. The inter-islander ferry. Oh, I mentioned that. Name a more iconic New Zealand ship. I mean, how is that? It doesn't get you to the door, though.

Unless you're getting your school balls at the ferry terminal. Or just on a deep wharf. And your parents are insanely wealthy and you're just like that'll be funny. Number four on the list of the top six most Kiwi ways

to arrive at the school ball on the back of a two-stroke Honda CR250. What is that? It's a motocross bike. I bet you someone's done that. They'd have to sit.

If you were in a long flying gown though, you'd probably have to sit side saddle. Yeah, I've just had a message from a friend. Me and my friends have been to the ball in a tractor and also one turned up in a silage wagon. Oh! Yeah, people that grew up in central Otago. Silage wagon?

It wasn't a new silage wagon? What's a silage wagon? Yeah, silage stinks. So a silage is that fermented grass. It's like kombucha for cows. They go crazy. Yeah, that's in at the moment. Yeah, it's been in for cows for a long time.

They're all about fermented grass and gut health. Right. And you put it in this big wagon and the wagon goes, and these chains go up and flick a little bit of silage. And you drive around the paddock and it flicks the silage, spreads the silage out so they can eat it. Can you drive those in the city? No, but this would have been

like a small town. Yeah, right. Tractors on the road in small towns is... It's nothing. Nah. It's still weird. But you've got to say this

when you drive past, oh, nice tractor. That's a nice tractor. Unless it's like the opposition, unless like you're a John Deere guy and it's a David Brown and then you're like, bloody David Browns.

I mean, bloody John Deeres, or whoever you're against. Yeah, right. Aren't they all just good farm machinery? Yeah, but you've got to have an allegiance. Right. It's like Ford and Holden. Okay. It'd be like seeing a Mahindra if you drive a Ford Ranger.

You've got to poke fun. It's the law. Number three on the list of the top six most Kiwi ways to arrive at the school ball are sitting on the back wing of Scott Dixon's IndyCar. Oh, that's pretty cool.

Around the corner, you'd be like, slow down, please, Scott. I had my hair done and I've lost my corsage due to the downforce. Number two on the list of the top six most Kiwi ways to arrive at the school ball,

the steam locomotive known as the Kingston Flyer. Again, like if that works with your schools on the rail. Lace and tracks. Yeah, I get lace and tracks. Lace and tracks. And then it can reverse out. It's capable of doing that. It's back on the rails.

And number one on the list of the top six most Kiwi ways to arrive at the school ball. I asked you before to name a more iconic seagoing vessel than the Inter-Islander Ferry. Yeah. And at number one, it is that more iconic seagoing vessel, the Endeavour. Is that still? Captain Cook's. Captain Cook's got the Endeavour. Yeah, right. The replica.

They did a replica, didn't they? Rebuild the original. Oh, right. Okay. Refloat the Endeavour. Right. Refloat the Endeavour. Refloat the Endeavour. That, right. The replica. They did a replica, didn't they? Rebuild the original. Right, okay. Refloat the Endeavour. Refloat the Endeavour. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. So yesterday at the gym I noticed something and I thought we've got to run a poll on this. We've got to see how the nation feels about it because it was something that someone was wearing that I was just like, no. Jean Shorts. Did you say this was at the gym?

At the gym. Yeah, I see people wearing Chucks at the gym so much. It's because they just know weights, bra, hey, and your shoes are definitely better. It's got to be a better shoe than a Chuck for some weights. I mean, if you're going to a punk rock show, perhaps a Chuck would be the most fitting footwear. But, like, remember back in the day

when they used to play, like, NBA basketball in Chucks? Yeah. And, like, athletic shoes. Chuck Taylor All-Stars were like the peak of athletic shoes back in the day. Well, no, it was a singlet that somebody was wearing that I took umbrage with.

Not a fence. Was it one of those really thin strapped singlets and their nipples were slipping out the side? No, no thick strap. You're not in Bali now, Todd. With your bintang singlet. Yeah. No, it was a basketball singlet,

but this guy would have been in his, I would say mid-20s to late-20s. Okay. Definitely not like 18, 19. Other end of the 20s. I would have thought that would have been NBA singlet territory. Yeah, totally. But this was a school basketball singlet.

Ah. I think it was grammar. Oh my God. Yeah, no, no. When you said school basketball singlet, I was like, okay, that's a little bit long. But grammar. Have you ever met anyone that went to grammar?

They go on about how they went to grammar until the day they died. Their last words are was like, okay, that's a little bit long, but grammar. Have you ever met anyone that went to grammar? They go on about how they went to grammar until the day they died. Their last words are often like, I went to grammar. But at the gym you're quite often, because, you know, you just check on any odd old T-shirt to work out, but sometimes you see the Leavers T-shirts or like old school rowing shirts. Also, I've got a feeling that they've redone it. They made themselves a new one. Have they gone to a screen printers and said- Noone it. They made themselves a new one. Have they gone to a screen printer and said-

No, you're not making yourself a new one. No, you're not. No one's making themselves a new one. Do not put it past grammar. To make their own grammar tops. To relive their grammar glory days. Yeah, right. But if you still fit your leavers top or whatever,

I would totally rock it. How long did you wear your- Are you kidding me? Why? I wore nothing to do with school once I did that. You said rowing singlets. Yeah. Yeah, we would always rock those.

Your Marty Cup singlet. Did it like years and years ago. But how long after leaving school did you wear your rowing top? When you did no rowing. If I knew where it was, I'd still wear it. I wore it for years. Into your 20s? Yeah.

Like a hoodie? No, you've got a hoodie I can understand because hoodies last for a long time. No, it's rowing singlet. No, but even leavers jerseys. Erasing singlet.

Aren't you like, oh, I feel like I've not, if this is my pinnacle, I've not achieved anything since? No, but it's like sentimental. Okay, well, we've asked- Can you want everyone to know what you did and where you went? Oh, no. See, I'm's like sentimental. Okay, well, we've asked... Can you want everyone to know what you did and where you went?

Oh, no. See, I'm not about that. Do something like this year that gets you a piece of clothing. What, and you're only allowed to wear it for the year that you did it? Oh, you can't drag it on forever. Maybe the following year. So we've asked on Instagram, wearing your Leavers hoodie past your 20s, into your 20s.

And this would go for any kind of, I'd say, singlet or sports attire from your high school. 80% of people have said nay. Nay! No, I think Lever's hoodie is different. That's different. But do you think it's different at the gym because you just want any old singlet or t-shirt? No, no, no, not when you go to grammar. You won't ever know you went to grammar.

My went to grammar. I just don't think I had any kind of... Our school was too pov-o. Any year where I didn't have anything. Yeah, this is pure jealousy. Your school's too pov-o

and you never did anything. We had to give our sports uniforms back at the end of the year so they could wash them and put them next year. I know, I was in like the 11th, 15th for rugby for one year.

I'd definitely get that on a singlet. But have it all in Roman numerals so it's very confusing. Yes. Only people who'd be able to work out what team

you were in were those that went to grammar. But I punished myself and went to rowing nationals. I want everybody to know that. Yeah, but when you're 25.

And you're 20s. Yeah, but they don't know when it's much up the year. Say like, Nayland College or whatever and you're like 25. Grow up.

You've got to leave it, let it go. Get a nice new gym top. This just sounds like you were jealous. It just sounds like jealousy. I'm not jealous. I'm just saying, like, there's got to be a cut off. And I'd say it's, by the time you finish uni, you can get rid of your Leavers hoodie and any top.

Put it in a box if you want to reminisce about how great school was. Don't you go to uni and you wear your Lever's jersey so that it's a good conversation instead of what school you went to with all these new people you're meeting. And then you get your halls of residence jersey so the following year people can be like,

oh, you went to O-House or whatever. And then you're like, yeah, yeah, I went there. And then after that, you grow up. You grow up. This is the real world, baby. Sit down, strap in. Get yourself a nice non-branded T-shirt. Niggies.

Just let them wear what they want. Somebody said you guys often, obviously don't go to East Auckland very often. Every East Auckland boy still wears their Leavers jerseys well into their 20s just to let everyone know what school they definitely went to. Yeah. Just, you know,

get a new hoodie. This must be a thing, this must be a big thing in Christchurch too. Because, you know, Christchurch, the first question somebody will ask you,

sometimes they'll ask you what school you went to before they want to know your name. Yeah. Even if you're not from Christchurch. Just before I start talking to you, what school did you go to? Yeah, because I don't want to associate

if you went to Christ's, was it? No. See you later, mate. I don't want to be in it. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. We're joined in studio by Lucy

from Shit You Should Care About, an Instagram account that spreads the good word and has blown up. What is that? 2.1 million followers. All started in Blenheim. Yes, all started in Blenheim.

Thank you for having me, everyone. My pleasure, Abby. Ruby's here too, but she's shy. Hi, Ruby. Hi, Ruby. This blew my mind because initially when I found this account on Instagram, Shit You Should Care About, I thought that it was American. Yeah, everyone does, but you know,

we're Kiwis, we just happen to give a shit about things that happen outside of our doorstep. Like the dumpster fire that is the American election. That is probably going to take months for us to find out. Yeah. It will take months. How on earth did it blow up to 2.1

million? I do not know. If I knew that, I would have a million accounts with 2 million followers. I don't know. I think people just wanted some relatable stuff and maybe some news that was understandable to the normal human that doesn't have a PhD. We just wanted to make everything accessible and use Instagram differently and I think we jumped in there right before everyone was doing Instagram for information and so yeah we just got in there early and

Was there a turning point? Was there one post that got you heaps of attention and heaps of followers? I think certainly during the height of COVID-19 we were giving these, I don't even know can I say the S word on here? Yeah.

Shit, shit. Okay, well, we were giving these no bullshit COVID updates and people obviously liked them because we didn't give all the fluff around it. We just gave the cases and what was happening. And then obviously the height of the Black Lives Matter movement, there was a lot of good information that we needed to learn as well. So we shared a lot of that.

And I think it helped that a few celebrities jumped on board, shared some of our stuff, and it just snowballed. Man, it is still snowballing. So what celebrities do you have following you? Ariana Grande. Wow, okay. Reese Witherspoon, Dua Lipa, we've got Vanessa Hudgens,

she's a random one, Blake Lively. Yeah? Wow. I know. Weird. That's cool. So how did they find out about you guys? Just from you were using hashtags and they were looking into the hashtag stuff or people were tagging them in? Never used hashtags but I think

just when heaps of people Are wanting to show Their activism online And sharing stuff To their stories Yeah I don't know By some random Grace

It just happened It just happened Yeah because I see A lot of people Sharing your stuff Because it's so simple The message and the You know

It's really good Oh thanks So how do you Take all of that Information in And then Make it Palatable For the people With the Instagram generation with an attention span of about 15 seconds?

Well, that's exactly how we do it. We make sure that we're just giving, you know, small screenshots or the most important parts of a story so that if you want to go and find more, you kind of have a little bit of baseline knowledge. It takes a bit of time in the morning to kind of go through the news see what people are caring about or should be caring about that day and um condensing it down but honestly a lot of it comes from our community our dms people are making us graphics all the time people are feet on the ground in their own countries doing the work for us yeah that's cool yeah so just looking at the, like just a selection of posts that you've put up, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Harry Styles.

Yes. Trump, Harry Styles and another Harry Styles. Also why I love this account. Yeah, I know. We are only human. When Harry Styles says anything or does anything, the world just falls at his feet. I don't know. We have an affinity.

Does he follow you? He doesn't follow us. I think that would be when we can stop the account. We're done. Shut it down. Shut it down. He can have it. We can go straight into his DMs without being a message request.

Okay, we won't get rid of the account. Do you have a job? Yes. Because I'm like, no, but I'm just like, this is so much energy. Because you're not peddling anything. No. You're not selling things so this isn't bringing you an income. Yeah, because we're not influencers and that when we started it. But you are.

But not your influencers as the word meant prior to influencer having a sort of a bad association, I guess. Yeah, so maybe we're not typical influencers. Yeah. But yeah, we don't sell stuff. You're an account of influence. Oh, thank you. That's what we put on the CV.

Yeah, so we don't make money. I mean, we have a podcast which gets sponsored sometimes, but we aren't out there, you know, doing product placements and things like that. So I do have a job, a full-time job. I just don't know. That was more to do with time, how you dedicate so much time to this and still have a job.

For a while over lockdown, I didn't have a job. So then I could dedicate heaps of time. And Ruby dedicates heaps of time. And Liv, the third member, she can dedicate time. So we really share the work. But it has been harder since getting a job because I'm like getting up at six, looking at the news, posting it, going to work, getting home, doing this. You said before there's people on the ground and you're getting constantly sent stuff.

But does that get, like, do you have to check the sources of a lot of things? Because you wouldn't just blindly post something that somebody just sent in because that's how rumors and fake news and things get out of control. Yeah, so we have, like, a couple of ambassadors that send us stuff to our emails, not through our DMs, and we can be like, can you give us the sources? Where did you get this from?

We are very careful. We have been posting less lately because we want to make sure that with such a big audience we are not putting out anything fake and if we do it's never fake but if we get something wrong we will always address it somewhere in the account or on the stories

or wherever we need to more thorough than most news organisations we're just scared of getting cancelled, we are just scared of getting cancelled. Well, it's a great Instagram account. You can follow it at shityoushouldcareabout and the Shit Show podcast as well. For more, Lucy, thanks so much for coming in.

Thanks for having me. Ruby, you did nothing! No, she did. You're fired. She's just shy. She's just sitting there producing. Thanks for coming in. Oh, thanks for having me, guys.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Ho, ho, ho. Ooh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Well, it is... Oh, wow. I've just refreshed ChristmasClock.com, which we use for this segment.

It's the internet's most trusted Christmas clock. Of course it is. 56 days and 16 hours, 32 minutes until Christmas. 56 days. Wow. Because, yeah, what was the 25th was Monday. That was exactly two months. You've got a real grasp of the days of the week there.

It was 29th today, and I didn't know how to do the maths. Maybe it was Sunday. Short week, yeah. Yeah, it threw you off. Oh yeah, it'll always get you. Well, there has been many reports of Christmas penetration. Yeah, it was Sunday. Sunday was two months till Christmas. Yeah. We got there.

I'm glad we went back, personally. So, people are sending in this is how it works you send in your reports of Christmas Christmas penetration hair in my mouth

Christmas penetration from around the world and we report on it so if you're out and you see some Christmas creeping in early let us know let us know

but you know what it has been a slower we've noticed over the years of doing it's beginning to look a lot like. We've noticed over the years of doing, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. We've noticed every year has been pretty similar. Yeah.

This year is definitely slower. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think that some businesses are like, they don't want to force Christmas upon people because they know that it's been a stressful year? Are they easing back on it a little bit? Maybe.

Maybe a lot of places haven't been able to get their Christmas stock yet. That's true. A personal report. There was a song on the radio at the gym the other day and I was very confronted by it. It was a Christmas remix. Oh, okay. They're trying to slip Christmas in slowly by having a remix.

But I noticed it was definitely a Christmas song because it kept mentioning the birth of Jesus. Now, I don't know if you've ever heard an electronic dance music number.

What is it? The kids are calling it EDM. Who's in charge of your playlist at the gym? I don't know, but it was,

yeah, it was something. I did not like it. Also feels like they're trying to force Jesus on you at the gym. Both Jesus and Christmas.

And protein. But have you ever seen Jesus up on the cross? I know that's Easter, but the dude's ripped. All right, let's talk. Gemma reports she spotted at Westfield St. Luke's the multi-story Christmas tree going up. Now, at the moment, it's only got a gold ribbon decoration on it, but it's up. It is erect the moment, it's only got a gold ribbon decoration on it, but it's up.

It is erect. Now, normally Santa sits under that. Is he going to have a Perspex screen this year, do you reckon? It's going to be very interesting to see what the story is with that sort of... He'll have to hand sanitise and check in at Santa's grotto. Yeah, and he's an elder gen and he's a little overweight, so he's what we call a danger. Body shame him?

I'm not. I'm just saying from everything I've heard about COVID, he's high risk. Well, maybe if they get the vaccines. He's got diabetes, type 2 diabetes. If they get the vaccines in November, maybe it can go Westfield, Santas, then nurses, you know, essential workers and stuff. Those high risk people. Yeah.

The Christmas reports continue to roll in from around the world. Helen has messaged in from Switzerland. Ooh. I don't know what Helen's doing in Switzerland, whether this be

Helen's permanent residence. How'd you get to Switzerland? By road? By plane? Yeah. She got to Switzerland anyway. She said, it's all go here.

And sends in a photo of a very typically Swedish looking house. Think Sound of Music. Oh, okay, yeah. Full of Christmas decorations. Oh, that's so beautiful. Yeah, it's absolutely lovely. Someone said, I have received this many. And just sends a screenshot of their email inbox.

Christmas related mail out spam. Oh, yep. And it's just all the different mailing services they belong to. You've got clothing in there. You've got houseware in there. You've got many other things. Somebody else said, not only now are Christmas chocolates taking the end of the aisle. This is from Debbie.

They are now starting to breach and spread down the sides of the aisle, around the end of the aisle. It's what we call Christmas overflow. And just many reports of Advent calendars now actually being moved to a more prominent position at the warehouse, as well as the boxes being half empty. Because that's the thing about Advent calendars, they'll sit full for quite some time, but they've started to move. They've started to move units.

Wow, okay. Okay? All right. So with all that in mind. Elves, get busy. Right now, Christmas penetration is at... 68%. Oh, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

And if you see any reports of Christmas creeping in, screenshot it. Send it to us, FVMZM on Facebook. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Javelin in PE class. Bad idea. Bad idea. We were just talking about it. We didn't have it.

I don't think I threw a javelin. I have thrown a javelin and I can't think where I would have thrown it. Maybe like the last year of high school. But surely they're not javelins like you'd use in the Olympics. They're not as sharp and not as heavy. Surely. Well, javelins aren't heavy. I'm pretty sure this is just a standard piece of javelin equipment. I can't

ever remember throwing a javelin. Ever. I think I might have. But maybe it was like a wooden stick. It's harder to get it to jab into the ground than you think. That was your school's javelin. The sharp stick. Probably. Well, anyway, there's been an injury

in PE class with a javelin. The boy understood to be an early teen. There were reports of 12 and there were reports of 15. And I don't know. It doesn't sound like he could answer the question, how old are you, when the ambulance arrived. I think regardless.

The javelin had been thrown. Yep. The javelin was in the ground, you would say, because that's the other thing about throwing a javelin. Often it will go tail down or belly down, but you want it to go front end and stick into the ground. Now, it had been a good throw at that stage because it had stuck into the ground.

Okay. This boy, running to retrieve the javelin, tripped in the vicinity of the javelin and landed on the javelin. Oh. Now, the injury was described by Queensland Ambulance Operation Supervisor Stuart. Is this in Australia? Yeah.

I was thinking, I don't know why, but I was thinking like UK or something. A penetrating injury to his groin. Oh. The boy had the javelin through his groin injury. It was non-life-threatening and there was minimal blood loss. So I'm thinking scrotum. Yeah. He impaled his...

Well, instantly you're getting a nickname. At school, what's your nickname going to be? Oh. I don't know. Ball-piercer. The ball-piercer. The ball-piercer's back. Yeah.

Here comes the ball-piercer. Javelin. Here comes the. Ball piercer. The ball piercer. The ball piercer's back. Yeah. Here comes the ball piercer. Here comes the ball piercer. Turn it up. Throw in the javelin. Turn it up. Trip when he went to get it. Turn it up. Hey, nothing like that.

Turn it up. Here comes the ball piercer. Just like that. Just like that. That's how that works. Yeah. And then that's your nickname for the rest of your life. It's not even that good, but it goes with the song.

Oh, producer Jared's message a good one. What's your idea for a nickname? Shishkaballs. Oh, yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. See, that was like one minute and already two pretty good nicknames. Like that poor kid is going to have to find a new school. That's embarrassing.

So, yep. Impales himself on the javelin. They said he's all right. He was gracious and alert when they arrived. But yeah, has been treated at a Gold Coast University hospital. Oh, he's lucky. God, even my phantom balls hurt. Your phantom balls?

Phantom. Sorry, I didn't have your pen for a ginger. Fanta. Fanta. I did not say Fanta balls. You said Fanta. That's another nickname though, Fanta balls, because everyone's just going to assume he's lost them.

Yeah, so he's got a Fanta ball. Yeah. Yeah. Dude. So we want to open up the phone lines today and ask about your PE injuries. Because there's nothing more embarrassing than getting an injury in front of the whole class at PE.

I'll always remember, I don't want to name her name, there was a mini trampoline and one of those things, the big horses, the vault horse things, and they were multi-stackable. You could stack them to be higher. Yeah. A gym vault. So you had to like run up, hit the mini tramp and then hoist yourself over this. She just went

straight through. She couldn't get the height. It's pretty dangerous when you think about it. She was putting too much energy into the forward momentum and not enough for the upward. I think it was definitely a weight issue, which was the issue as well. Yeah. As a chubby issue, which was the issue as well. Yeah. As a chubby child, there was no way, as a chubby child,

there was no way gymnastics was mentioned at the start of PE, and you were like, hooray. No, definitely not. I'll be able to lift my body weight. But that was, that's the kind of thing that would,

that would be with you for school. And no one at school was like, oh my gosh, are you okay? Oh, definitely not. What is wrong with them? I don't know. Now I see someone hurt, and I'm like, oh my God, are you all right? But then I would have been like, oh my gosh, are you okay? Oh, definitely not. What is wrong with them? I don't know. Now I see someone hurt and I'm like, oh my God, are you all right?

But then I would have been like, oh, snap. And then immediately it would have turned to the person beside us and been like, all right, nickname, go, go, let's brainstorm. No bad idea in a brainstorm. An Aussie school kid got a javelin to the bolos. Yeah, but it wasn't like someone threw it and it hit him. He re-tripped. Your javelin injuries, whenever there's javelin to the bolos. Yeah, but it wasn't like someone threw it and it hit him. He re-tripped.

Which is your javelin injuries, whenever there's javelin injuries, he was running to get it and he tripped and landed on the spiky end. We want to know your PE injuries. There are some hilarious

messages and calls coming through. Someone said, not really an injury, but to save herself from falling as she came down off the vault,

my best friend grabbed the first thing she could to gain her balance, and it was the PE teacher's groin. Not sure who was more embarrassed, him or her. Yeah, well, what was her nickname after that? It's got to be like grabs, grabber. Yeah. Groper.

Kath, your partner is a PE teacher. Yeah, she is. And she had, Sorry, you go. No, I was going to say, do they still call it PE now? Because you know how everything's changed? Like back in the day, it used to be called woodwork, and now it's called like... Hard textiles.

Hard tree tech or something. No, no, it's still physical education. It's still pretty old still. Yeah, okay, good. And so she's seen some stuff, I bet. She certainly has. She was actually the victim of one pretty bad injury. She was facilitating athletics day,

and stupidly she walked out just as a kid was throwing a discus, and she copped the discus right to the back of the head. Oh, my God. Those things are intense. Yeah, they're really intense. Was she okay? Yeah, she was fine. Well, she actually fell down like a stack of SHIT

and, yeah, was completely knocked out. And this poor kid was, like, in tears. He thought he'd killed her. But, yeah, it was only a 10, bless him. But it had hit her, like, right on the lining of her cap, which actually probably saved her life. Oh, wow. Yeah, but she was off school for eight weeks with a pretty bad concussion,

and she's still got a pretty nasty dent in the back of her head. Oh, my God. Imagine being that cat. These are weapons. Yeah, you dented your teacher's head. Kath, thanks for your call. Rob, what was your PE injury? Yeah, we had a swimming lesson in the

changing rooms. I put my jeans on, did my zip up a bit quickly, and got my penis caught in my zip. I was only about 11 years old. Oh, Rob, Rob. It's funny now. The worst bit was I had to walk about 2km

to my land house, which was closest. She tried to rip the jeans off me, which made it worse. Nan, no! What, you walked two k's with a bit of the tip hanging out? Zipped up? Yeah. Well, I held my towel and my swimming gear in front of it. Oh, my God.

And then Nan's had a lovely day and you arrived in your book. I know. And then I had to go to hospital and have the jeans cut off by a very attractive nurse, which made it just worse. Is there lasting damage? Yes, I still have a scar today. Oh my God.

I'm just going to ask for technicalities. On the actual penis or just the foreskin? Oh no, it was actually on the penis. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh actually on the penis. Oh! Yes. Good chat, good story, though. Everyone loves a scar. Everyone loves a scar story.

They do. They do. Rob, thanks. All right, your penis is 11 years old, let alone when it's halfway through a zip. Taking your stories about your PE injuries after an Australian student. There was a javelin and balls. Let's just leave it at that. Some stories coming through.

Wow. There are some hilarious stories. Somebody messaged in saying, I'm legitimately dry reaching at some of these stories. But you want to hear them, eh? But you can't stop. Yeah. Same. I've got one, though. The person says, I've been dry reaching, some of these stories. But you want to hear them, eh, but you can't stop. Yeah, same. I've got one, though. The person says I've been dry reaching, but I've got one.

I'm a teacher and it was hot, so I took my shoes off on athletics day. Oh, no. Was looking after the long jump, decided to give the pit a warm up. Straight onto a rake. The rake was still in there. Yep, that was my guess. Straight through my foot. I hated the long jump at Athletic State because I could never get from the line into the sand.

I know. It was real hard because there's a gap. All you do is you... It's not that far. Nah, but all you did... And I did this every time. You just walk up and you just put your foot over the line and they're like, disqualified.

You're like, oh, what a shame. But you still got the sand. Yeah. You got in the sand. Oh, no, I didn't even jump. He just stepped over it. I just run. What did you do?

Trot. Step over the bed, disqualified. I'd be like, oh, damn, how many goes do I have to do? It's like high jump. You just walk up and be like, boom, into the bar. Anonymous, what was your PE injury? So it was actually netball training, not PE, but it was in the bar. Anonymous, what was your PE injury? So it was actually netball training,

not PE, but it was in the gym and we were all blindfolded. This doesn't sound like a good idea. Terrible idea. So we were all blindfolded and the coach

pretty much told us that we had to stop when she said stop. Yeah. Which was, like, easy enough. And then one of the girls didn't hear her say stop and ran completely into a brick wall. That is so much trust blindfolded.

Yeah. Yeah, and she destroyed her nose and got a little bit of brain damage after that. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What? Yeah, it was a bit crazy. What was that meant to,

was this some kind of trust exercise or to build your, like, extra senses or something? I honestly don't know what it was. Like, I think it was just, like, to trust the coach, maybe. Oh, I bet the coach got in trouble. Yeah, I bet. I bet they did. Anonymous. I don't know what it was. Like, I think it was just, like, to trust the coach, maybe. Oh, I bet the coach got in trouble. Yeah, I bet. I bet they did. Anonymous.

I don't remember what happened because I think I was about 12 or 13 at the time. Like, we were quite young. Wow. That's incredible. Anonymous, thanks for your call. Andrew, what is your PE injury? So, it's not an injury as such, but when I was, this is when I was back in England, when I was about 15, 16

Doing my GCC exams I was doing a PA exam And I had to do the spotting Around the trampoline There was probably about 10 of us around the trampoline And everyone was taking it in turns And when I was

Well, I was a bit bored So I wasn't really spotting them I was just at the strings When I'm not P shots Just twiddling them around the frame bored, so I wasn't really spotting them. I just had the strings on my tee shorts, just twiddling them around the frame. Yeah. So anyway, I wasn't really, like I said,

I wasn't really paying attention. And then the girl who was on, she jumped down, and then I had to jump up on the trampoline. But unbeknownst to me, I'd tied myself to the trampoline. So when I went to jump up, I ended up upside down with my shorts on my ankles. So everything, everything hanging out. Aren't these end shorts down? Andrew, as a person that can't help but play with string when it's there,

I really am. Did you get a nickname after that, Andrew? No, not really. Not really, no. Not to your face. Maybe behind my back. Yeah. Brilliant. Andrew, thanks for No, not really. Not really, no. Not to your face. Maybe behind my butt. Yeah. Brilliant.

Andrew, thanks for your call, mate. Some text messages in. I got my middle finger stuck in the top of a lacrosse stick right before the drill where everyone watches you. The vice principal

walked by and laughed and he said, I'll come with me. I hope you get it out. But on the way to the first aid, the sick bay, he took me to the staff room to show everyone how silly it looked and then I had to get it out but on the way to the first aid the sick bay yeah he took me to the staff room

to show everyone how silly it looked and then I had to get a I had to go past the photography class so someone could take a picture for the yearbook and yep

that was it in the yearbook and then they lubed it up and popped it out in the sick bay now there was no physical injury obtained but

just some emotional scarring quite a lot of psychological damage somebody said I'm a PE teacher and there's one kid where I just say to everybody

don't just roll the ball to her because if you throw a ball to her I don't know how even if it's a low ball it smacks her

in the face and it's just we just roll the ball just roll the ball just roll imagine if you're that You're the kid No because he

Roly There's your nickname Roly Just done like that Just let her sit it out Done like that Someone said In my PE class

A kid had just got back From having their braces off Was so stoked about it Walking around Cricket ball to the teeth Two teeth gone The universe doesn't want them To have nice teeth

No The universe is like Not for to have nice teeth. No, the universe is like not for the way. If I'm the universe and I speak with the list, you're on the team too. Megan's Baby Diary. Over to me. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't know about this. I don't feel like I've talked enough yet to give the woman

the microphone. Oh my god. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't know about this. I don't feel like I've talked enough yet to give the woman the microphone. Oh, my God. Hey, Jets. If your mother was here, she would clip you around the bloody ear. I'm seeing her later today. Christine, give him a clip. Oh. So, 25 weeks I am now.

25 weeks pregnant. And a bit of an update. That's man. Flown by? Flying by. Flown by for me too. It's certainly flying by for me. I'm not.

25 weeks. Yeah. So if you go full term, you've got 15 weeks left. 15 weeks to go. Which if you work out by the month is just shy of four months. Is that right? Yeah. Madness.

How are you going to handle rhythm and vines? Have you thought about this? Well, she's going for the low sugar Long Island. The Long Whites. Long Whites. Yeah. Oh, she's not drinking Long Island iced teas. No, she's not.

Oh, you should not drink any Long Island iced teas. No, shit, no. Oh, my God. So I felt him kick on Father's Day for the first time. But it's weird because you obviously, the mother, feels the baby

long before everyone else does. But it's just been able to kick hard enough for people to feel on the outside. Oh, yeah. Can you see it yet? Yes.

Oh, that's rippy. Yeah, that must be something to be able to feel it and see it. But I remember seeing, when Sade was pregnant, seeing the move and you'd be like, aliens. Yeah. And they started off cute. You're like, little kicks. And now it's like, okay, now there's an alien trying to rupture out of me,

which is interesting. That rips your son of a bitch. But Andrews felt it, had a wee, not a wee, he had quite the ball. Oh, yeah. That's intense. And also my best friend got to feel the baby the other day. Ellie's just feeling the baby kick.

Are you crying? Yeah, I'm crying. Carry on singing your song. But also they she was singing to him and he was like going nuts. What song? She made up her own song. I was hoping it was going to be

Cardi B or something. Yeah, yeah. Satisfied free. Seven days a week. Oh yeah, no. There'll be some nursery rhymes sung. I'll just sing Cardi B in a sweet tone. Yeah. But also I've been, like, quite emotional. So, you heard about when I burnt the potatoes, I had a meltdown. Yeah.

So, we went to the circus. The circus? And you got emotional? So, I really wanted a Sprite No Sugar. Go on. But they only had a Sprite No Sugar. Go on. But they only had normal Sprite. And so I was sitting in the front row and the spotlight, this is before the show started,

there was a pesky spotlight right on where we were sitting. And when Andrew came back with a full strength Sprite, I just absolutely broke down having a cry in the front row at the circus. Did everyone think it was one of those things that often happens at like performances before the show there's like some in-crowd entertainment and they're like, oh, this must be it.

Like she's having a meltdown over something ridiculous and he looks terrified. Yeah. And of course, I just felt like everyone could see us so that's some. Did you drink the Sprite? Yeah, I still had it. But could see us, so that's some. Did you drink the Sprite? Yeah, I still had it. But also my niece, I gave her some makeup,

and she did a wee video of herself putting it on, and I just broke down crying as well. So, I mean. Wow. Hyper emotional. Yeah, it's all good. Well, there's also a video. We popped along to Silky Otter.

Which is a cinema. Yeah, a cinema. It sounded. We popped along to Silky Otter. Which is a cinema. Which is a cinema. It sounded like we popped along to a zoo. Yeah, you need to specify. Popped along to a Silky Otter. The rough otter was out. No, popped along to Silky Otter and watched a birthing video. Which was because for me, you've seen your wife.

I've seen both types. Yeah. I've seen caesarean and traditional. I think you call it traditional. No, no, no, no, no. We don't need to see front on. Here's the head. No!

Oh, my God. I bet what that is. Oh, no. That's coming out of her. Yeah, so that's us watching a birthing video in a movie cinema. I was furiously eating popcorn, that's why. Yeah. You can see the full video, ZM Online.

You, yeah, you didn't experience it. You closed your eyes. Yeah, you hid behind a popcorn box a lot. It shouldn't have counted. It was a good plan. You should have just watched it to appreciate what women go through on the daily. I know you're not, well, I don't have kids or whatever, but those are the future taxpayers

that are going to support you in your elderly years. Right. I'm just trying to put it into a phrase that you might understand. No, it's still not working. It's still not working. These people will grow to have jobs

and pay tax so you can be old and miserable and get the pension. There's already a lot of people. You know that. There's too many. The world's overpopulated. Yeah, there's too many. Next world's overpopulated as it is.

There's too many. Next on the show, how do we feel about eating alone? Megan, you would never do this. I never have, never will. We've run a poll on our Instagram, FBMZM. There's a trend that people are being asked to embrace in the Northern Hemisphere. Going into winter and COVID still a massive problem.

Obviously, places where restaurants, et cetera, can be open because not every country is as lucky as New Zealand. Swift action was taken and now we're back to a semi-level of normality, but we must be vigilant and continue to use the COVID tracer. We have been putting people in internment camps. Yeah, according to Fox. If you've not heard, Fox News has, for some reason,

put us in the crosshairs overnight and said we're running like internment camps for people with COVID. Not managed quarantine facilities in three-star plus hotels and motels. Internment camps. And some British politician compared us to Nazi Germany. By rolls.

Good Lord. But anyway, an article from Metro in the UK is saying, why this winter it should be embraced to go out for dinner or drinks by yourself. Okay, dinner I can understand, but drinking by yourself can look a little bit. Yeah. A little bit. Don't get me wrong, I've had a drink by myself in a bar and it was lovely, but I'm not going to regularly turn drinking by myself in a bar into something.

I do that at home. Drinking by yourself is a thing. You can do it. Yeah, do that at home. Far less judgment, I find. But then is this just saying to single people or are they saying to couples? Because if you're living with someone,

surely it's all right to be in their space dining out. Well, somebody said there's lots of situations where the people you're living with you might not like and you might need a moment away from them because you're spending so much time with them. Right, yeah. So if you're flatting. What can you do to go out drinking

and have a drink or a meal by yourself? Should be the answer. Now, a woman wrote a book, Francesca Spector wrote a book called Of Alonement, How to Be Alone and Absolutely Own It. And she said, Megan's not on board. I just, yeah. Because you're not very independent.

No, but I'm like independent. I can do stuff myself, but socially, like I don't. You can go to the mall by yourself, Megan. And that is it. That counts? Not really. That's it though. That's it.

That's it for your aloneness. Actually, that is like literally the only thing I do by myself. Wasn't your computer not working a while ago and you stood there holding it being like, help, someone do something for me. Megan, just go up and see the IT people. I can't go up there. I can't go up there.

But apparently if you want to go out by yourself and build some confidence, here's some key points. Take a prop. Like a hat. Like a game of whose line is it anyway? and build some confidence. Here's some key points. Take a prop. Or like a hat. To like cover your face. A game of whose line is it anyway? A big floppy hat so you can't see me. Or like a jacket so you can pretend

someone else is sitting on the chair opposite you. Oh, that's the saddest thing I've ever heard. But also probably something you'd do. My friend's coming back. I'll be back soon. No, like a Kindle or like a notebook. So it looks like you're maybe working, but also maybe just spending some time with yourself to get your thoughts out. Or you're just doing some reading.

Another point she had was because you're only going by yourself and you don't have to pay for anybody else, you can actually afford to get the nicer things. And then you'll feel good about yourself drinking a really nice glass of wine versus the second cheapest on the menu because you don't mind doing a movies by yourself love the movies by myself

and I'll travel by myself and do like eat out and stuff who cares something else I'll do by myself is go to the arcade well that's weird

by myself that's weird I found when I was getting my phone fixed yeah when I had the screen issues yeah

there was an arcade across the road and he was like oh it'll be 45 minutes I was like cool and I was like my phone fixed, when I had the screen issues, there was an arcade across the road. And he was like, oh, it'll be 45 minutes. I was like, cool. And I was like, what am I going to do? And I went to the arcade and I was like, this is actually a lot of fun by myself. Yeah.

Because the kids aren't like, I want to go to this one. You don't have to waste time on the dumb ones. If it was school holidays, though, you'd probably get a, like a trespass. No. It's the bed, really. No. It's the bed, really. No. Someone, another point is that you aren't restricted as to where you can sit.

I mean, they're probably not going to give you a massive table. No. But, you know, if you're going out with someone who might like to sit in a certain spot and you're not so keen, you can totally do it. But we asked a poll on our poll, FVMZM on Instagram. Would you go out alone? Dining alone? 66% of people replied yes. They would go out for dinner by themselves. Megan's like, no. Can't believe it.

That's two thirds. Where's your friends? No, they've got friends. This is the thing this woman said. It doesn't mean you don't have friends. It just means like when you spend time by yourself, you might meditate or exercise or whatever. But why isn't dining one of those things you can do that's pleasurable that you can do by yourself? I just class it as a social activity.

Yeah. Well, that's got to reclassify, baby. Right. Got to get out there and... I mean, to be honest, soon you're going to have a child attached to you who will constantly be like... For the next 18 years. So I'll never be alone.

But they never pay, they spit up, they're fussier than you, and they'll often shit their pants at the table. Yeah, right. Yeah, it's like going out with Fletch. I haven't shit myself at the table for a long time, though. You've been really good. Thank you. That's only a definition of a long time. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast

ZM Fact of the day Day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day is about driving in Albania. Oh, okay. Described as wild roads in Albania. But there's something, I'll give you some other little tidbits. Right-hand side of the road.

Okay. You've got to be 18 years old to start driving in Albania. Okay. Seatbelts, I mean, that's a must, right? Mobile phones aren't allowed. Okay. You're allowed hand-free systems. Sounds pretty standard.

Speed limits are like 50 k's in residential, 90 k's outside residential, and then motorways are 110. Okay. Legal blood level for alcohol is like nothing. You're not allowed. Yeah. You're allowed.01. What's out.02?

Is it? I have no idea. I don't know. Entry, yeah. So like nothing. Yep. To rent a car, you've got to be over 21 years old and have had a driver's license for three years.

You're not allowed to leave the scene of any form of accident. Okay. But anyway, this is the number one point of today's fact of the day. When you're driving in Albania, your car must always have in it a fire extinguisher, a basic emergency repair kit, a first aid

kit, and spare bulbs. Huh. For bulbs for the car. For indicators. And you've got to know, and it's like this big thing in Albania, you have to know how to change the bulbs. Would you know how to change the bulbs in your car? Yeah. Fletch, I've seen you struggle cack-handedly through a tyre change

that I ended up doing most of. Well, you were there. You know how to do it. You just take it to that guy and he does the bulbs. Yeah. So are you not allowed to drive with a blown bulb? By the sounds of it. You must have to do it yourself.

You must be aware of your bulbs or if the police pull you over, you've got to have bulbs in your car to rectify the situation then and there.

Can you get cute little fire extinguishers? Because like, my old MX-5, where would I put all that stuff? Like a fire extinguisher. You can get small

little fire extinguishers. That's a lot of gear. But a basic emergency repair kit, that was what I was like, what's the story with that? That's basically a quick way to fill a basic puncture. So if you get a basic puncture, it's like a spray apparently. You spray it in there and it doesn't last forever, but it's enough to seal it up, get some air in it, and then carry on to somewhere you can get it.

But if you don't have it, you can be heavily fined. Wow, okay. Yeah. You also need, yeah, so first aid kit, the warning triangle, and headlight beam deflectors. Right. I feel like the warning triangle is a big thing in Europe, but here we're just like, eh.

Well, who had an old Mercedes? And when you pop the boot, it was just there. Yeah, yeah. It was in the lid of the, it was my mother-in-law had an old Mercedes and it was in the, it was just when you, and it was the same with the bonnet. When you lifted up the bonnet,

there was one there and one in the boot. So the people could say, yeah, it is. It's a good idea. But yeah, it's not like just lightly suggested in Albania. It's 100% something you have to carry. So today's fact of the day is if you're ever driving in Albania, you better bloody have some spare bulbs in your car. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Coming up on the show, Stranger Rings. It's something we set up a little while ago. We've been sat on this. We're going to play you what happens when two people are connected on a phone line when neither of them were expecting a call. You'd say they're strangers. And the phone rings. Yes.

And it also rhymes with the Netflix show. Thank you. You're very proud of that, aren't you? You've got to explain these things sometimes. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Stranger Rings. Stranger Rings is where we connect two strangers. We asked for your phone numbers because we wanted you to know,

and we said by giving us your phone number, you could be participating in Stranger Rings. So then at the end of it, both people had consented to their conversation being broadcast, which is an essential part of broadcasting a conversation. We learned that the hard way, didn't we? A few years back. Well, I mean, that was your fault.

You did read out somebody's phone number. We didn't. You played the conversation without her knowledge. Actually, what you did was as bad as what I did. Thank you. I was not involved. This would never have happened if I was here. Before Sensible.

Safety net. Sometimes you've got to learn the hard way, you know? Yeah, you do. What broadcaster doesn't have a complaint against their name? Probably Hilary Barry. Probably Hilary Barry. No, she does. She doesn't complain about her shoulders. Put your shoulders. Probably Hilary Barry. Probably Hilary Barry. No, she does. She doesn't complain about her shoulders.

Put your shoulders away, Hilary. Oh, Hilary. Hilary! Anyway, so Stranger Rings, we connect two people and then we listen to their conversation. We just start dialing the numbers at the same time because we've got a multi-line system. We lock them in and we start dialing two numbers at the same time and we just see what conversation

comes from it. This makes me so anxious. I don't know why you would participate in this. Also, another thing, super surprised, these are the first two numbers we called and they both answered, which is very rare in 2020 not to just divert to answer. Because it's private too.

So imagine how confusing this would be, but this is episode one of Stranger Rings. Stranger Rings. Stranger Rings. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hi.

Hi. Who's this? This is Credo. Who's this? I just had a call from you and it's Louise. Oh, that's weird because my phone just rang. And who are you, sorry? Oh, I'm Credo.

Credo? Yeah. Oh, hi. Where are you calling from? I'm calling from Auckland. How can I help you today? I have no idea. Did your phone ring? Yeah, so my phone rang,

and then it went to like a music kind of hold pattern, and then you came through. Yes, so quite a delight indeed, but confused. I'm confused as well, but how's the day going? So really good, really busy. And yeah, so I've done a bit of work and I'm going to do a workout soon, so that'll be good. And yeah, and then I've got some drinks later on today with my bestie.

So that's my day. What about you? Very much the same. Oh, no. So, yeah, that's my day. What about you? Oh, it's very much the same. Weather's looking all right, but, yeah, no, it's all right. Yeah, no, nothing. Just I've been working today, and then I'm just relaxing at the moment, actually. Relaxing?

I think I know what's happening here. Okay, share with me what's happening here. Okay, share with me what's happening here. Wait, hang on. I think, because yesterday, do you follow ZM on Instagram? On Instagram. Oh, my gosh, yes. Did you put your number in? Yeah.

I think that's what's happening right now. Oh, good. Oh, my gosh. And what was the point of putting your number in? I don't know. I just saw into your number. I saw into your number and I just put it in. So is this being recorded, do you think?

It will be. Probably. Do we need to make it a bit more interesting hey um are you single i am oh okay that's interesting and how old are you um 25 25 ah so i'm 45 oh you're 45 yeah 25 and 45, that's like a little cougar-milfy combo, isn't it? Like toy boy kind of, that kind of vibe. It can be. Oh, it could be.

Interesting. So I don't, have I got your number? No, I don't. I was going to say we could swap some pictures and see if that might be something that we could investigate. Oh, okay. That's so funny.

Interesting. Where are you calling from? I'm in Auckland, yeah. In Auckland. Oh, I'm in Auckland as well. I'm in Auckland as well. Why are you? I didn't think you did.

Too easy, eh? easy eh Just like that What was your name again Credo Interesting name Thank you Have you been on the dating app before Are you on there now I have been

I don't use it too much but I have been on there What do you think of. I don't use it too much, but I have been on there. What do you think of them? I don't know. Like everyone, really. It's pretty fun for a little bit, and then after a while, it's just boring. I don't think I've ever had a good experience through them. Never.

I never have. Oh, but you haven't dated older yet, have you? No, I haven't. See, that's where't dated older yet, have you? No, I haven't. See, that's where you're going wrong, I reckon. Maybe I should set my age a bit higher, you reckon. Yeah, I think if you popped your age, because 25's pretty young, I have to be honest, if you popped your age at around 34,

and I brought mine down to, say, 38, then I think that would be quite acceptable for a 34-year-old. Meet in the middle. Meet you in the middle, and then it think that would be quite acceptable for a 34 and 38. Meet in the middle. Meet you in the middle. And then it wouldn't even be a thing. Oh, this is so cool. It's funny. I think, yeah, I think, you know, 20 years is quite a big age gap. But I think if we just meet each other halfway there,

then it wouldn't be such a big deal. Yeah. That's a good idea. All I can do is a situation. Yeah, is just, you know, change those ages a bit and then we'd be good to go. What's your name, Zoe? Lou.

Lou. Lou, yeah. That's my name. Oh, that's cool. Lou. Lou, yeah. That's my name. Oh, that's cool. This is very cool. I don't know what to do next. No, neither do I. I thought maybe someone would butt in and say something at this point. Yeah.

So maybe we're live on the radio in which case I hope this has been entertaining for everybody. And I guess we'll wrap it up there and Tim has our numbers if they want to do anything with it so yeah, have a lovely day Credo, I've got to go before I need to get on to

and it's been nice chatting Yeah, it's been good, have a good day The milky cougar vibe is what you need if you want some success in dating so good luck. What? I don't think... No, my girl. Greedo was swimming

in the deep end of the pool later. He's like, I'm just trying to surf on here. And she's like... Oh my gosh, she was so cavalier about it. She's a hiver's life. She was just like,

I'm in. The milfy toy boy situation is what you need. I'm going to lie about my age. You're going to lie about your age. I couldn't stop listening. Like, I wanted to hide behind the curtain in the studio, the blind for a little bit because it was awkward.

But then I want to keep hearing it. I love how quickly that turned into something quite serious. She was setting it up. She had the whole rundown of how their love life was to go from henceforth. All right, well, that was episode one of Stranger Things. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. My mum's coming up today.

You're going to see mum. She's coming up to see Indy, who's in the production of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Okay. That's today, is it? It is. It's called Last Tonight. We're going to the final one. The final.

You didn't go to the first one. Showing. No. It's good. You want them to be. Yeah. You want them to be. Iron out the kinks, mate. Yeah. And get comfortable't go to the first one. Showing. No. It's good. You want them to be iron out the kinks mate. And get comfortable

on stage with the audience. Exactly. Shake all the nerves and stuff. But apparently a teacher at the school played the kids I was

talking about the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang yesterday. They're all pretty stoked. Oh okay. Apparently it's going very very well.

Oh good. Good. I asked August who the best was because they showed the school and she said it was Indy. Which I thought was nice because I would never have said the same about my brother. I asked August who the best was because they showed the school and she said it was Indy, which I thought was nice

because I would never have said the same about my brother. No, no. I would have said he let the whole crowd down. I had to say he's useless. He's actually an embarrassment to the theatre on a whole.

I think he'll turn people away from the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in their droves. Yeah. But Mum's coming up to see it and one thing we were told is that it gets quite hot in this,

because it's just in the school hall. It's an old school hall. It doesn't have like a, it doesn't have five HRVs or anything, keeping everything at a constant temperature. So Sade said to my mum, you just bring some light clothes to dress in. And mum said, will I need my mask? This is a funny joke that non-Aucklanders say to people who live in Auckland. Will I need my mask?

And then she put what I believe she thinks is the mask emoji but it's the swearing face emoji. You know how the swearing face emoji, it's an angry face with a black strip across the mouth. I think mum thinks that's the mask. I mean it could be a patterned mask. It could, well, it might be a nice mask. And that's what everybody's about, a mask that's the mask I mean it could be a patterned mask It could Well it might be a nice mask And that's what everybody's about A mask that's a little bit different aren't they But there is actually an emoji mask

Emoji face wearing a mask I know If she'd gone A little to the side She would have seen the mask emoji Yeah What are you going to break that to her I'm just amazed she uses emoji

Dad big on emojis Because one emoji Says it all Says so much Yeah Says so much But mum's never been big on the emojis. No.

But no, she's moved into emoji territory and balls it up, something chronic. And then she used that smiley face one that no one uses. Which one? You know, you either use the closed mouth smile or the laugh face. Yeah, laugh face. She's used the open mouth smile. Oh, yeah. No one uses that.

No one uses that. No one uses that, especially in COVID times. I need to sit her down. Sit down your boomers and give them a try. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app

or wherever you get your podcasts. And you say, lives here. ZM.