ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 2nd February 2021

Episode Date: February 1, 2021

Women regret something more than men  Top 6: Returning Teachers  Fletch's Saggy Mattress  Claire Chitham!  Hayleys Plant Transfer  Refund Your Date!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, it's Fleetch Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul, the podcast thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe Coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. Now, you've received some correspondence. I have. This is from Irene. Irene from Dunedin. Okay. I'm going to click on Irene's little thing that says view profile. I'll tell you a little bit more about Irene. She's from Dunedin. Anyway, that's all Irene's got to offer. She says, hi, I listen to your podcasts all the time. Thank you, Irene. You'll be hearing this then, Irene.

And she says, you don't mention Dunedin or the rest of the South Island very often. Are you kidding me, Irene? Irene, I'm always like, I call to this and we support that. Last week our bakery of the day was in Christchurch, Irene, I'm always like, um, kai kora this and west port that. Yeah, well, last week our bakery of the day was in Christchurch, Irene. Yes, it was. And do you know where Christchurch is, Irene? It's in South Island. But you know what? Maybe we could give Dunedin a bit more love.

Do you know what? Dunedin rules. Lanark Castle. Lanark. Lanark. And do you know Boudouin Street? Boudouin know Boudoir Street The Otago Museum

Yes The Cadbury Factory Yep Yep I know They've got a big Railway station Train station

Yeah The Otago Rail Trail Blah blah The old Atlantic Castle again Yeah You've got the David Clark Memorial Mountain Bike Trails

You do Yes You've got the David Clark Memorial mountain bike trails. You do, yes. You've got students, students, bloody everywhere. St Kilda Beach. Yep. That tunnel one that you walk through the tunnel to get down to that other beach. I've seen that. Beautiful beach. Beautiful beach.

Seals? Seals? Lots of seals. Yep. Tons of seals. Sea lions or seals? Anyway, it's beautiful. Good op shopping.

It is. Yeah. So don't tell us. Aren't you coming to the North Island? Tell us we don't give love to the South Island. But Irene's actually wanting to promote something. I thought to appease the trouble cycling Irene. Okay.

I don't want it coming North. Yeah, right. She said they've got a very unique event coming up on the 13th of February. Now, unfortunately, we're busy. But Run the Runway is on. And this is a chance for people to get out and run the four kilometre long runway

at Dunedin Airport. Oh, now have they cancelled the flights for that period? No, you've got to run fast. Or you get sucked into an A320 engine. It'll take a couple of seconds off your PB if you're getting chased down by one of those ATRs. There is something pretty magical about, like, we got a, remember when we got the little runway tour in the car around Auckland Airport? That was pretty insane, driving around by all these massive jets. I love that stuff when they remove what's supposed to be there.

Like I walked the Waterview Tunnel. Yes! Before they opened it. When I remember in Berlin, there's a closed airport and you can bike around. They've opened it up and made it a park for the public. Tempelhof. It was in, they used the old building,

which was built like by Hitler. For the flims? No. For the Luftwaffe. No, he wanted to build like these incredible airports for air shows and stuff. And they used that in the Hunger Games.

One of the Hunger Games is like a... Oh, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and you can actually bike around. It's called Tempelhof. And it's incredible. Just these old airfields.

And you just bike along and all the markings are on the runway. Shame he was a c***. Aye. Tis a shame. Yeah, it is a real shame. Some of his visions,

you know, like building the big thing, preparing for the future, but there's that whole other side to him. Yeah, I know. Real piece of shit. Yeah, I know.

Real piece of shit. Someone who's not, though, is Irene and she goes on to say runtherunway.co.nz if you want to get involved. 13th of February you can run it.

There's prizes to be won. Oh, lovely. Run the Runway tells me. When is this happening, Vaughan? What date? Did you say that? I've said it 18,000 times. February 13th.

February the 13th. Okay. Day before Valentine's Day. You've got to bring your driver's license or passport because, of course, you're going on to an airport and it will be cancelled if COVID status changes and you'll be given a full refund. You can win a prize. The winning time for 2020

Was 13 minutes And 49 seconds Now that's fucking honking it That's honking alright That is really honking it Well thank you very much Irene for keeping us Updated there

Yeah Run the runway Dot co dot nz If you want to pop along Irene will be there That's the reason enough ZM Hit music

Lives here Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast Good morning Welcome to the show Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Four minutes past six. I think my maths isn't too bad. Because the other day at a food truck, I added up how much it was going to be in my head before the lady told me the total. But did you get like two $10 burritos or something?

No, heck no. I wouldn't have been able to do that in time. Okay, just one $10 burrito. 38 times 62. No, I can't do something like that. Well, there you go. You should know how to do that. You should know how to do that. That's too many.

It was like... Too many. It's too many numbers. What? Six times four. 24. Yeah, good. Don't do me.

It makes me anxious. Matt, why are we so bad? Is it Matt's... Two times four. Eight. Yeah, see, that was good. Don't do me. It makes me anxious. Matt, why are we so bad? Is it maths? Two times four. Eight. Yeah, see, that was good. Correct. There you go.

Patsy, private school, paying off. It was worth it. Why? I forgot what I was going to ask about maths. Is it maths or is it math? You know when people say, like, math. Oh, I don't know. I always say maths.

I always say maths. I say maths, too. Because there's more than one math. Plural of math. Yeah. I did some math. I did. If you were only doing addition, you could say I did some math.

Because that's one type. But the minute you've added subtraction, that's multiple types. I mathed it. Turns out I'm not good at English either. In the US, they say math. Yes. But in the UK and like Aussie New Zealand,

we say maths. Yes, okay. I knew I'd heard math around and I suddenly doubted myself. And they're always very, on American TV shows, they're always very specific about their math.

I've got geometry. Yeah. I've got trigonometry. Yeah. Algebra. Right. It's fantastic. Maybe this is why we're no good. I genuinely got trigonometry. Yeah. Algebra. Right. We're just like, yeah. Maybe this is why we're no good.

I genuinely don't remember a single thing about math. Yeah, it's a horrible subject. As soon as they started introducing letters, I was like, I'm out. This is stupid. Letters? Letters? Like sans, cos, tan? Those were your triangle situations, eh?

Yeah. I remember asking my teacher, when will I ever need this information? And she said, well, engineers use it all the time. And I was like, does it look like I'm going to be an engineer? Yeah, because you're a woman. That's nuts. You wouldn't do that. Your boobs would get in the way.

Yeah. How are you going to engineer things with boobs? You can't build a bridge. Get real. Get in the way of the bridge. And you don't need things with boobs? You can't build a bridge. Get real. Get in the way of the bridge. And you don't need a week off every month because you're parodying

every week. That's right. That's right. Of course, that was, I was just being sarcastic. Very sarcastic. Yes, obviously,

before, because some people don't get the sarcasm today. One of Sade's best friends is a very clever engineer who happens to be female. But what about her boobs? I stole her...

She had them removed. I actually stole her adjustable crescent wrench and I never gave it back. I don't even know what that is. It's the phone one where you roll that thing. You know, it's like that, and then you roll it, and it goes small, small, small,

and then you roll it back, and it goes big, big, big. Yeah, it's a big one too. It's real grunty. It's what I'd reach for if I had to fight off a Right. Why did she give that to you? She did not. Oh, you I borrowed it and never gave it back.

I've told her about it since. She's okay with it. So you stole it and you've admitted that you've stolen it and you're not going to give it back and she's like, all good. Is there a bridge out there she's working on that needs tightening? Oh, yeah. Oh, a couple. Yeah, okay.

I'd just say drive cautiously over bridges. Yeah. Okay, all bridges. Yeah. Drive carefully over. Yeah. We might have a couple of loose nuts. Joining us on the show just after seven this morning, special guest in studio, Claire Chittum,

who a lot of us know as Waverly from Shortland Street all those years. Iconic role. Yeah. She's so lovely. She's a friend of the show. Back again just after seven. Chit Chits. Talking about her.

Chit Chits with Chit Chits. Yeah, talking about her. And she's got a new book about well-being. What can't she do? Well, she's struggled with Crohn's in her younger years. And I remember that was a big story in the 2000s. And she's just, yeah, she's got a book.

Lovely book. To hardcover. Oh, hardcover. Fancy. Skinted on chittum. I'll pay maximum dollars for a hardcover. She's in just after seven. We'll refund somebody's date as well after 8 o'clock. You can register. If you've had a horrible date and you spent some money on it,

we could give you that cash back. Just register ZM online. We'll do that after 8 o'clock. But the top six is just moments away, Vaughan Smith. Yes, that's correct. It turns out our teaching shortage may be somewhat calmed down by the fact that so many people who are qualified teachers are coming back from their OE because of COVID.

They're doing their two weeks in the MIQ and then they might be able to take care of our teacher shortage, which is great news. But I've got the top six things those returning teachers will teach your children. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. Last year there was technology developed

because in the story where I'm about to tell you about, I did a little bit more background research. And last year, they 3D printed an ear using actual cells. So they made an ear. And you know, because for a while, they've grown ears and like mice and stuff. Mice's backs. Yeah.

And then did they do a couple on pigs? Because I think we're more ourselves and everything structurally. We're a bit more like pigs. So I think they grew some in pigs. And then is it like when you make your bitmoji, can you choose your skin tone? Or do you just have to go with three generic colours? Pig.

Coony coony. Yeah. Pink. And other pink. Feral bush pink. Pig. Cooney cooney. Yeah. Pink. And other pink. I don't understand. Feral bush pig. The 3D printing, I just don't. It's mind blowing.

It blows my mind. Like, you know when you say, you know, people make things out of plastic or material or something from, it's not like changing an ink cartridge though, is it? Yeah. It is. It is. Yeah.

It is. Because it is mind blowing. Have you ever seen the machine do it? Mind-blowing. How do you put cells into your ink cartridge slot, so to speak? That is beyond me. I've got no idea. When they go to warehouse stationery, a new cartridge is like $5,000.

Because the one they gave you was only half full. Yes. And you think it's just cheaper to buy a brand new printer, but it's only a third full cartridge. That's how they get you. 3D printing blows my mind. They're printing houses. I know.

Like cheap living houses for the homeless in some countries. With concrete. Yeah. It's nuts. So then you just put concrete into the... I just don't understand how... I know. I mean, those printers are a bit different.

They're more like big, hosy machines. Oh, it's not an HP desktop printer. Yeah. But like most schools and stuff have a 3D printer now. I know, it's nuts. And it's all about like 3D modelling and design and stuff. So a nine-year-old girl in Australia called Grace, she had a 3D ear printed and has been surgically attached.

She, I've never heard of this condition. My crotia is a situation where the external ear is underdeveloped. She just didn't have an ear. Right. And so she had one printed. But the cool thing about it is she also now has like 10 full-blown, high-detail 3D prints of her head because they had to do various prints yeah right over here to make sure the air was going to be right and then they got multiple

people's opinions and they all got them so imagine having like a head and then so it looks like like it's actual scan and yeah yeah that's what i don't know what is what it's printed skin and... Yeah, yeah. That's what I don't know. Right. What it's printed of. I don't think hers is that technology that it's pretty much 3D printed cells. Right, so it might just be plastic. And is it cosmetic or does it work? It's...

Well, I may be wrong. I believe her eardrum worked on that side. Oh, right. But it was just there was no external air. right. So it's just giving her the protection. But it was just, there was no external ear. Right. So it just, yeah, brings the... Wow.

Yeah, so... But do you think this is the future, like, of cosmetic surgery? Like, if you're not happy with your nose or your cheeks... Or 3D print some new boobs. Or your fingers. Yeah, they just... Exactly. And then they'll just attach them on.

Yeah. That'd be hard boobs. Well, if it's made out of coony coony, it would be quite... Very, very hard. But the great news is when you're doing them, chuck them in the oven on a grill and you've got some crackling. Oh, yeah. Is that cannibalism?

Well, not if it came from a coony grill. Not if it came from a bush pig. When you're done with your boobs, chuck them on the grill. Make some crackling. Let's move on. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. The 2020 Global Drug Survey. The results have just been released,

and it's quite an interesting group of statistics here. What they look into is sort of the trends of drinking and drug taking around the world. Right. In terms of, you know, how we're enjoying it and what we're doing.

It's sort of... So it's not like, don't do drugs? No, no, no. It's just an honest reflection of if people are doing drugs, how they're doing them. It's a trap then. And if they're drinking, how they're doing them. Yeah, and then the police come and knock on your door. I saw the results of that survey you took part in.

But apparently we've been eating mushrooms a lot more often than we have been in the past. Hallucinogenic mushrooms. Yeah. A bit of microdosing. And people are saying it's to escape, to escape from the likes of a year like 2020. Right.

But we are using MDMA. We. I'm using the global we, by the way. Right. Yep. More responsibly. But drinking, it's a cultural issue, they're saying,

and that women regret drunkenness more than men. 39% of women regretted any occasion they got drunk. Compared to how many of men? 29. 29, wow. 29 to 39. They regretted saying something they shouldn't. Women regret saying something they shouldn't. 46% of women regretted saying something they shouldn't. Women regret saying something they shouldn't.

46% of women regretted saying something they shouldn't when they were drunk, as opposed to 40% of men. Women suffer significantly greater next day anxiety after drinking. And 35% of women have regretted an unwanted sexual episode while drinking. Oh, yeah. That's 18% to just 10%.

A sexual episode. Would you like to comment on any of those findings as a female? No comment. No comment. These are the anxieties. Well, definitely. I get a little bit of the, what did I say? Oh, yep.

You know? Yep. When someone sort of, you sort of get into your head that you're like, I think that person's angry with me. Right. I also hate, do you ever get those messages if you've had a really big night and then someone texts you saying, how are you feeling? Yeah.

Yeah. Because you know you have to apologise. You're like, okay, so I was the worst. And then that kicks off the anxiety and then you spend the whole day thinking about who you need to call. And then you say things like, I'm never drinking again. Yes.

And then the next day you're like, oh, let's have a wee. Let's have a wee Aperol spritz in the sun, shall we? Beautiful, Dan, it'd be a shame to see it go to waste. But it is a shame. What they're saying it probably comes from is that women actually tend to get drunker because physically we are more vulnerable to the harmful effects of alcohol. And so when we're out there trying to keep up with the lads, lads, lads.

Oh, don't try to keep up with the lads, lads, lads. Well, they're even saying that the lads shouldn't try to keep up with the lads, lads, lads. Lad culture. But women are trying to keep up with them and they're just getting, yeah, they think more booze, more fun. And then we're full of dark regrets the next day. What age do you think it is? Actually, I know some people who are well older than me

that still haven't learned that more booze doesn't equal more fun. Oh, yeah. It's been a long time since I've been that drunk. Like, where you wake up and you're like Oh what did I do I haven't been Oh I can't remember You can't remember when because

Saturday A it was recent and B you cannot remember Flesh, Vaughan and Megan The podcast ZM From the yummy ZM think Tank, this is the Top Six. Teacher shortage. Problem in New Zealand. God, there was like 5,000 kids per classroom last time I checked.

Yeah. That's how short of teachers we were. They were running every class in assembly and kids weren't learning. But apparently heaps of people with teaching qualifications are returning to New Zealand because of this global pandemic. And why would you want to be in a country where, what was it in London recently? Was it one in 10 people believed to have COVID?

Yeah, it's crazy. Sheesh. So I've got the top six things returning teachers will teach your kids. Hmm. Coming back from London, being based in London. Full of experience. Full of life experience. Life experience for sure. Number six on the list of the

top six things returning teachers will teach your kids are they'll teach your kids their quasi English accent that they picked up very quickly when they were living in London. I hate that. Yeah, I've just been living in London. I was working, right, and, I've just been living in London. Yeah.

I was working, right, and someone said to me, are you from here? I said, no, I'm a Kiwi. What do you think I'm from here for? How long were you there? Oh, like six months, yeah. Yeah. I guess I just like really became accustomed to the place.

Yeah, I really felt at home there. That's actually a sign of lack of intelligence, eh? What, if you just adopt people's accents? Yeah, how quickly you'll adopt other people's accents. But are you allowed to if you live there? Huh? If you live there for a while? For ages.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah, if you go for like a couple of years and you're full blown like that. Yeah. It was a sign of lack of... Really? Yeah. I read a sign of lack of... Really? Yeah. I read a study about it once.

It was just like you were unable to not be heavily influenced by those around you. Right. You mimic them. Number five on the list of the top six things returning teachers will teach your kids. They can tell your kids how much they miss cheap and easy weekends in France

where they'd leave on a Friday afternoon and come back Sunday and just like, oh, I just, you cheap and easy weekends in France. Would they, like, leave on a Friday afternoon and, like, come back Sunday and just, like, oh, I just, you know, just go to, like, France. Wouldn't that be annoying, eh, if it was, like, a geography teacher being like, oh, so here's France, which was, like, I don't know, it was, like, 20 pounds to get there for the weekend. Yeah, and here's ancient Greece. Went there.

That was nice, too. Yeah. Roman Colosseum. Yeah, went there. Went there. Drove around one summer in a van. Been there. That was nice too. Roman Coliseum. Yeah, went there. Went there. Yeah. Drove around one summer in a van. Been there.

Oh, the World War II. It was in Germany. I've been there. I went there. Been there. Number four on the list of the top six things returning teachers

will teach your kids. They'll tell your kids how cheap drugs are in the UK. They gotta know. If you kids want to try cocaine, get yourself to the UK. They gotta know. If you kids want to try cocaine, get yourself to the UK. Boy, it's cheap over there compared to here and you don't know what it's

cut down with here. What's cocaine? I should not have said that. Number three on the list of the top six things returning teachers will teach your kids. They can teach your kids how to live in a house with four South Africans, 12 Australians and 16

other New Zealanders. Yeah. Yeah. In a broom cupboard. Yeah. Living in cupboards and all matter of things. Number two on the list of the top six things returning teachers will teach your kids. They'll constantly be telling your kids that New Zealand needs an underground train network.

Oh, the tube just changes it. You can get around everywhere so quickly. Yeah, the Eurostar's like super fast, yeah. Yeah, Channel. You kids heard of the Channel? No. God, you kids don't know shit. And number one on the list of the top six things

returning teachers can teach your kids. They can constantly refer to people that your kids have never met, like your kids were also in London and know who these people are. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. With all our friends that come back. Oh, Trish would love that. Who's Trish? Oh,

that's right. You don't know Trish. Very good friend of mine in London. They're going to come out one day. Apparently, they're going to come out one day. You'll love Trish. Oh my god, I hate this character. They are the worst. I hate this.

Yeah, now you're going to have to sit next to them, sit over from them and parent-teach interviews. We're about the same age. You ever been to London? Oh,

yeah, yeah. That's today's Top 6. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Bumble, which is of course

the female-led online dating service. They've got a message first. Yeah, the woman has to initiate contact. They've just updated their terms and conditions to make the platform a better place, essentially. And it's warning now in its terms and conditions that it will kick out users who make derogatory comments

about the appearance of other users on the site. So body shaming. Body shaming, essentially. And for those who don't know what body shaming is, it means basically enforcing your opinion of what a good body is onto others. That just blows my mind that someone would be on a dating app and say to someone, you're too fat. For example.

Like, that is, but that happens. It happens. Can you believe that? Often. I mean, I think. Like, if you're not interested in someone, don't match with them or just don't talk to them. I don't know.

Unmatch them. Well, Bumble did a survey of single women and it found that 64% of single women felt that they were likely to receive unsolicited comments about their body online. So the majority of women feel that that's, you know, that's a normal thing for them to receive. But that might not be a bad comment. It could be a creepy good comment. Yeah. Unsolicited.

Yeah. Unsolicited meaning, you know, if you want to take a photo of yourself at the beach, you're not welcoming a commentary on your physique uh but the the these new terms and conditions it's changing quite a lot of things well it's enforcing a lot of things because it's the whole platform is about wanting to uh make a more you know like an equal playing yeah an equal playing field yep um so it's also banning abusive language including anything perceived to be homophobic, transphobic, ableist or racist. And so basically

if anyone comments on a photo with any of those kind of comments it's got a zero tolerance policy now. You would report them and they would see it taken down. They would be off and never allowed to return. X and A their profile. Isn't it terrible though? I mean I get it a lot.

I mean, it's a thing for women, isn't it? I don't know how often you guys get a little commentary on your body when you post a picture online. I'd say it's probably not. Well, I'm never unsolicited because I always ask, what do you think of this? Yeah, well. Oh, God.

That comment is unsolicited? Yeah. Give me your top three thoughts on that. But it's unbelievable. Yeah, it's the, it's the, what's the,

it's that safety of the keyboard warrior behind the screen. I get it all the time. Really? Like what, what would you, what would people say, for example,

on what kind of photo? Lots of fat shame. Like if there's a photo of you just wearing anything, just wearing any clothes, people give you a bit of a fat shame or, oh darling,

I don't think we should be wearing that. Or, from, but or, oh, darling, I don't think we should be wearing that. But that sounds, oh, darling, I don't think you should be wearing that. That sounds like it's coming from other females. Oh, no, I'm putting a positive spin on it. It's too early. Does it come from other females as well as males? Nah, never. Never?

Never. Really? In my experience, on my very short-term presence online. Yeah. And then, yeah, the unsolicited stuff, it's never complimentary. It's never like, you're looking great.

It's always like, oh. What? And then do you click, how do you spell that? Do you click on their profile and you're like, well, you're no oil painting.

All the time. I used to be quite bad at reading comments online. And then you'd go on and have a little look at them and be like, I don't, your opinion is of little worth to me. Did I tell you about how, I think I've told you, Vaude, about how if people would leave horrible comments on photos of mine online, Patsy Sprower, my mum.

Your mum? Yeah. She would. I've seen it. She'd roast them. She'd get in and start roasting them. The best time was someone sent me a picture about how they wanted. No, someone sent me a comment on a picture of mine about how they want me.

Can I say it on radio? They want me to. They want me to place my body part on a certain part of their body. Right. Their face. Right. Okay. Anyway.

So my mum went on, I'm not encouraging this behaviour, my mum went on their profile and then went on their Facebook

profile, found their mother and sent a private message to their mother. That is amazing. Isn't that wild? Did you get an apology or any follow up?

No, it was just my mum saying, from one mother to another, I want you to know that your son is speaking to my daughter who he doesn't know like this. In a public forum. Wow. I don't encourage that, but I absolutely respect you, Patsy. He would have got absolutely torn down by his mother, and rightly so.

Rightly so. Don't leave horrible comments, and if you do, on Bumble, you're gone. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. I have a, I guess it's a life admin or a life question. So I was making the bed and changing the sheets. And then I just, I was standing back.

Did you piss yourself? No, it's just a weekly sheet change. Oh, yeah. Yep. You do weekly? Oh, is this where we find out you're manky, like producer? How odd's producer Jared's every two months, isn't it? Wasn't it every two months?

Oh, Jared. Oh, guys, I'm sick of this. Now that you've got a midi, you must be every week. Yep. Yep, good. Yeah, I'm weekly. But it used to be every two months. Are you weekly?

Because it didn't sound like you were weekly. No, I'm weekly. But it used to be every two months. Are you weekly? Because it didn't sound like you were weekly. No, I'm weekly. I'm definitely weekly, give or take a couple of days. Or week. No, I would never. I'm a very big boyfriend. What is that? What is that?

Where are we going? I've just been two very tall people in the bed. Sheets get dirty. I don't understand why height has anything to do with... I change my sheets weekly. What was your question? Okay. So my question is I notice that my bed is getting a bit of a dip in it.

A sag. A sag. A sag. A saggy mattress. Like in the couch when you get a favourite spot. Yep. Is it a spring mattress? Yeah. What else would it be?

Oh, I do a foam. A memory foam. Oh, do you? Do you do a full foam mattress? No, it's not foam like when you were a kid. Right. But the top is. It's like the scientific.

I've got a Nicosi. You know those ones that come in a box? Oh, yeah. Zero partner disturbance. Oh, no, that looks like a Facebook internet rubbish bin. No, no, no.

I've got one of their pillows. Their pillows are livers. This mattress is really gorgeous. So, because this is, and this is my question, my question, my life question.

How long does a bed meant to last for? How long have you had yours? Like seven years? The Sleep Foundation, sleepfoundation.org. Yeah. Says six to eight. So you're nearly.

Because when you think about it, you spend a third of those seven years. I've spent a third of those seven years in that bed. They say, generally speaking, you should replace your mattress if one or more of the following apply. Okay. It's six to eight years old. Yeah. Okay, we need to replace it.

Okay. It's negatively affecting your sleep. I don't know if it is. I mean, you get up at 4 a.m. Your sleep is already ruined. It's noticeably saggy. There's a noticeable sag. So you've got two.

It's makingably saggy. There's a noticeable sag. So you've got two. It's making noise. Sometimes. Nah, it's not like that, nah. You regularly wake up with muscle or joint stiffness? Nah. Well, you've got two and you only need one to get a new mattress, so it's time. Are you rocking a slat base or are you rocking a full base? No, I don't do a slat.

It's a full base. Right, okay. I don't do a slat. You don't do a slat? Nah, they get all cre I don't do a slat. You don't do a slat? Nah, they get all creaky and full of that. But a coser don't supply the base. Did you have an existing base? It's not a paid endorsement for it.

I won't be going a coser. I'm not trusting a bed that folds out of a box. No, no, no. Zero partner disturbance. Zero sag. Zero sag. Cooling in the summer. I don't yell. Get your cos the summer. I don't, yeah. Get your Acosa today.

I'm going to have to go bed shopping. That's exciting though. I love a bed shop. You've got to get them on special. Oh, you want a markup on beds. The markup. The bloody markup, mate. Don't buy one of those full price.

You spend a third of your life in your bed. Yeah, do you remember when we saw the sleepyhead private jet At Queensland Airport? I'm guessing the markup's pretty good And aren't they building their own town? Was that Sleepyhead or Sealy? Yeah, but they put the kibosh on that Did I say kibosh? As I said that, my mother says that

That feels like a moment of slightly racist origins Have a look into it Yeah, I'll look into saying kibosh ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We're joined in studio by actress turned author, Claire Chittum. Hello. Hello. This is your first foray into the authorship world?

The world of writing an actual book. Yeah. It is. Thanks. I like that. I can put author on my Instagram handle now. Claire, I love that you were just nailing it as an actress and then you decided I want to do something else. That's very true. Look at you. What was the motivation behind the book?

So I guess this is sort of something I've been, the world I've been living in for like a good 20 years and maybe not talking about it quite as often as I should have or could have. And 20 years ago, I was like in hospital with Crohn's disease while I was in the middle of my role on Waverley on Shortland Street. What is Crohn's disease for those of us who don't exactly know? It's really classy, and it's really sexy. It's an inflammatory bowel disorder. It was kind of a gut health issue meets an autoimmune illness,

and it put me in hospital, and it was pretty hideous at the time. So I guess I kind of felt a desire to maybe share that story at some point to try to help others because I also was aware at the time I was on Shorty Street, I was earning great money and I was able to go to see lots of different people to try to help myself. And that was an expensive exercise at the time. But over the last 20 years, because I'm old now, I have learnt a lot of things about how to look after myself and I became a qualified Pilates teacher and I've been obsessed about this sort of stuff for a really long time and I think I've sort of learnt enough things

to want to put them into a package. And the book is hopefully a way to sort of share some of the stuff that I've learnt. We've got some science-y stuff in there about how the gut works and then we've got lots of practical information about things I've learnt. We've got some science-y stuff in there about how the gut works. And then we've got lots of practical information about things I've done over the years. Not all the time, just little things that I do to try to keep my health in check.

And I think that's one of the biggest myths of wellness these days is it all needs to be, there's no such thing as perfection in health. And that balance actually is wobbly. So when you say gut health, is it what we're eating? Are we eating the wrong things now more and more? Like we are the country of bakeries. You know, like baked goods is what this nation is built on. I know.

And that's my kryptonite too. So you've got focaccia bread in your sights. I have. No, I mean, look, I've moved to the alternatives, which I think is one of the things you can do with wellness stuff these days with the sort of industry. So I'm a sourdough girl. If I have to have some bread, I'll try to make sure it's sourdough

because it's got more culture in it. It's a bit better for you. But yeah, yes, diet, you have to avoid certain things if you do have gut health problems. But gut health can be about stress too. You can be a stressed out person with a really healthy diet and your gut can be a mess and that's because your emotional

stress is causing tension because your gut is also a muscle. It's the weirdest thing in our body. And it's made up, like your gut microbiome is made up from different things to my gut microbiome and that's why, you know, we can't all eat the same things and get the same result. Wellness is such a huge thing on social media at the moment.

And a lot of, not all, but a lot of social media influencers really preach one way is the right way. Yes. And my big thing about that is that every body is different. Yes. And that one way is not going to be the same for everyone. And so actually, it's not a useful thing to preach. Certain things will help. Like cutting sugar is going to help everyone

because it's just bad and it creates inflammation. But whether you're putting, you know, a sauerkraut or too much kombucha or collagen or like, you know, all of these kinds of trendy things into you, it might not be targeting the problem that's your problem. Your body pretty quickly tells you if you've eaten too much sauerkraut and mice. Exactly.

There's a rumbling. There's a rumbling and a gurgling. And a gurgling. And a running. Yeah. Light explosions. Exactly. And that's like every, you know, how it reacts with you is going to be different to how it reacts with me.

And that's the point. You actually, I think we need to encourage people to learn to listen to their bodies better. And then help educate them to take action that suits them. Having a little flick through, good for you, the name of your book. Thanks. It's not a stuffy science, all words, no play, is it? No, I hope not. I've told the story of when I was on Shorty Street and had Crohn's

and what I did to kind of overcome that challenge at that time. My co-author Kylie Bailey, who's an amazing health journalist, has spoken about living with anxiety. She was like, even when she was five and a ballet dancer, she suffered from extreme anxiety. And what she's done, and then we've got some expert scientists in there because I'm not an expert. I am just an actor who knows some stuff.

And I love writing. I really enjoyed the writing process. But the rest of the book is hopefully, it's like a recipe book for health. It's a bunch of stuff that you'll dip in and out of. You might try one thing, but your partner hates that idea and somebody else tries the other thing and loves that.

And what works for you is not going to be the same. So we've got like 76 different things in there that you can try and taste and test and experiment with, be it exercise, be it writing down your feelings, be that supplements, like explaining what things like acupuncture actually are and do. So we've tried to cover the full kind of gamut. And we actually have a copy to give away right now.

We'll give it to caller 10. I'll wait. $800 at M, you can have the first copy. Signed. Oh, wow. Signed. I'll sign it live. Okay, easy.

Good, yeah. You can also, can I plug my own book? Please. Absolutely. You can purchase it online at goodforyoutv.co.nz. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Diet drinks, they are coming for you guys.

What are we talking? Our Coke Zeros, our Coke No Sugars, our Sprite No Sugars, our Pepsi Max. All of them. All of them. All of them. Shit. Line up. Diet sodas.

I've got a feeling you're about to get an earful. I am. So it turns out if you mix diet sodas with alcohol, you could get drunker. Okay. I don't think that's probably not putting anyone off. No, I know. If they want bang for their buck. I know, but...

Because I always do this, especially with gin and tonics, always go for the diet tonics because tonics are right up there for sugar. Tonic has 30 grams of sugar in it. Per what? Per serve. Per serve of 100 mils. So a tonic is basically the same as... Your major sodas.

As your major sodas. Yeah. Wow. But then what does the other one have instead? Doesn't it have a lot high sodium? Isn't it lots of salt in? No. In diet ones.

Don't tonic water? It's just chemicals. Yeah, it's just artificial sweeteners, isn't it? So they're saying... Oh, it's very scientific. It's a little bit above me. Okay. So a rum and diet Coke

will get out of your stomach and into the next section where it gets absorbed faster rather than the Coke will stay in there because it has calories in it. Oh, right. So because Coke Zero or whatever diet things

don't have calories in them. You're not actually like digesting it the same way. So it goes on to a different part of your body, which goes into your body faster. And does the booze just piggyback? And the booze is just like, wee, coming with. Yeah. Where are you guys going?

I'm just coming with you. But if you think about that having a night out and you're drinking rum and Coke, say, I don't know what you drink, it's up to you. Think about how many would you have having a night out and you're drinking rum and coke, say. I don't know what you drink. It's up to you. Think about how many would you have on a night out? A lot. I'm looking at you, Fletch.

A lot. Say you had six drinks, six rum and cokes. And then what? Because now we're at like 5.30. Yeah. We're earlier than I was. Yeah. And you've already had like a week's worth of sugar.

Yeah, but this is the problem. Do you want to get drunker but not have the sugar? Yes. Or do you want to just take it slow but then, yeah, you're having the least. I'm a diet gal. I'm a keto gal. And so a diet soda is a wee treat for me. Wait, so you shouldn't have that in ordinarily on keto?

What? Diet versions of soda. Oh, I mean, no one should be having diet soda drinks. And alcohol. Terrible for you. And alcohol. I'm not going to sit here and be like, I have the healthier option of a diet Coke and a diet rum.

Right. See, ideally it's a soda. No, it's not. Tell me more about this diet rum. Ideally you do it's a soda. No, it's not. Tell me more about this. Diet rum. Ideally you do like a vodka soda water. That's your ideal drink, isn't it? Or a Prosecco. That's where I'm at.

Really? Right. Okay. But there you go. Essentially the lack of sugar means that your body isn't spending time breaking it down and instead just heads straight to dealing with the alcohol. I'm only hearing positives. So am I.

But I think that's why a lot of the cans have taken off. Like the seltzers. Like your Rangers, your Pals. They're not seltzers. No, they're not. But you know what I mean? Just like soda. Low calorie.

Low calorie kind of drinks. Yeah, Long Island or whatever they are. Well, there's so many different ones now. I know. But some of them have a bit more sugar. Some have less. Yeah. But yeah. So I of them have a bit more sugar, some have less. Yeah. But yeah.

So I think this isn't talking about soda water or those. It's about the mixture of the chemicals and the, well, I mean, I don't even know what makes a Diet Coke taste like Coke but have no calories. Science. Science. Anyway, so if you've got, don't have enough time. Kind of screwed either way there, though. If you don't have a lot of time and you really need to hit that party,

get yourself a Diet Coke and a rum. Just go rum if you're in that much of a hurry. Oh, shots. That's the diet drink, isn't it? That's a keto-friendly drink. That just cuts out all of the fizzy. If you were in the general Mount Albert area yesterday, I can say it because I'm leaving the suburb,

you may have noticed... You've been all mouthed since you've been leaving, selling out your neighbours yesterday. Oh, I know. RIP Mount Albert. But if you're in that area, you may have noticed a truck driving very slowly, carrying in the back of its tray,

I want to say about 20 houseplants. A jungle is how I would describe it. A true jungle. Was it a ute? It was a ute. A ute full of houseplants. I was driving my partner's ute yesterday because we're moving house

and we're trying to do it on our own. We're just busy and we can't be dealing with either movers or hiring a trailer. So yesterday while Aaron was at work, I thought maybe I'll just do the honour of removing some of our houseplants and taking them to the new place. Now we have, I don't know, close to 40 houseplants. Yeah, it's a lot of houseplants.

I would kill most of those. I've got a reputation. I have killed a few, you know, over the years, but I've gotten better. And the little ones I took in the back of the maz, but the big ones were up yesterday. And so I loaded, yeah, about 20 giant houseplants into the back of this tray and drove it all the way to my new suburb location to be.

Remained a secret. But you could take a motorway. You didn't take the motorway, did you? I did not take a motorway. So how fast did you go? Because I would have been worried. When you sent a photo to the group chat, I was extremely worried for those plants.

Yeah, it was quite scary. There's some hardy plants on there, like the classic Monstera. Your fiddle leaf could probably handle it. Some swan plants. Not swan plants, peace lilies. I didn't say swan plants. No, swan plants. They are not going to do well.

Those poor caterpillars. But on there was also some difficult sort of gentle plants. And so I was probably driving about 20 to 25 kilometres an hour. Oh, my God. With people tooting. Yeah. I was playing in the ass. But it wasn't like it was a secret. I mean, one of these plants is so tall that it's like I was carrying a tree.

So it's not like they couldn't see what I was doing. Did you have your hazards on? No. It's not an emergency. But you are a hazard. But you, yeah. Did you lose any leaves? Did you see the fiddle leaf could handle it?

No. Every time I move an owl fiddle leaf thing around, I feel like it's about to just give up the goal. Yeah, no, you're right. The fiddle leaf doesn't like to be blown around. They all arrived safely. But, yeah, there were a couple of lost soldiers. How tall is your fiddle leaf fig?

Oh, it's almost my height. Okay. I got you there. Our fiddle leaf fig. You know our fiddle leaf fig? Yeah. It's like two and a half metres tall now. Oh, yeah.

Do I need a bigger pot? It's yeah. Do I need a bigger pot? It's massive. Do I need a bigger pot? Is that the problem? You've got to replant. I mean, ours isn't in a huge pot, and we've just had four new leaves in the space of a week. Don't those leaves come out loud and proud?

Oh, they do. And they've always got that little, they're soft and then they harden right before your eyes. That beautiful green gloss. I get real excited when I get a new leaf, because my Monsera's got a new one. It's real green and pretty. My Monsera's got a new one too. Yeah, and I get real excited When I get a new leaf Because my Monstera's Got a new one It's real green and pretty My Monstera's got a new one too

Yeah and I get real excited Because I haven't killed it Look Do you fertilise? No Here's where you're going wrong Oh fertilise Where do you get that from?

Here's a tip Yep Literal tip Okay Next time you're having a banana Because you ate 5,000 bananas Yeah Cut up the banana

There's a banana skin Not the banana Eat the banana Keep the skin Cut cut up the banana there's a banana skin not the banana eat the banana cut up the skin put it in a jug of water not hot just water

and let it soak for a couple of hours and then water the plants with the water that the banana's been soaking in that sounds madness the potassium leaks

out of the skin of the banana and it's really good for root strength of a house plant or why don't I just get some fertiliser liquid fertiliser no I was just thinking make a mess a houseplant. Or why don't I just get some fertiliser, liquid fertiliser. No, I was just thinking make

a house of what you've got. I don't faff around with mouldy bananas in my indoor plants. They're not mouldy. Otherwise I'll go to boil the jug and I'll forget there's a banana skin in there. Disgusting. I meant like a pirate's jug. Don't put it in your actual jug. Just don't do that. There's an easier way. You sound like grandma in wartime.

Getting the most out of her banana peels. We wouldn't be here without grandma at wartime, would we? Anyway, if you're going to transport your large plants, I recommend not using the back of a ute. Get a furniture mover. It's a windy afternoon. Yeah. Flesh, fauna, Megan.

The podcast. ZM. There's a video originally posted on TikTok, but it's leached into other parts of the internet. It's a wedding video. It's after the ceremony, you know, when you greet all your guests and they're like, oh, congratulations. And they like line up and shake hands.

And I don't know if you're doing it so much in COVID times with a kiss on the cheek, et cetera. I don't think you're doing weddings in COVID times. Not overseas anyway. So it becomes apparent as this male approaches the male-female couple that have just got married that this is this woman's ex-partner. And she invited him to the wedding.

She invited him to the wedding. And he presents his hand as to shake her hand and she turns to her now husband and indicates, is it okay if I have one more hug with my ex? The husband looks a little bit awkward but smiling, nods, and then she has this

like embrace with the ex. The hug. Right. That ends. He then turns to the husband to shake his hand and the husband puts out his hand to shake and then the ex-partner drags the husband in for a hug as well. Maybe he's kind of trying to balance the whole situation. Yeah, right.

He's a bit like, well, I hugged her so I better hug you because it makes me look like I'm a hug guy rather than hug her and shake your hand. And then it's done. But she says to her new husband, I want one last hug. Can I have one last embrace? That is nuts. Like on the day

she's standing here looking absolutely stunning. They are dressed to the nines and she just wants to cuddle with the ex. She wants to press their bodies together and remember what she's saying goodbye to. Yeah, that's not something you do in front of everybody. No. At your wedding.

On a stage. No. I don't have anybody at my wedding that I had a romantic past with. Oh, really? I'm sort of friends with some people that I've been with before. But would they be at your wedding? A couple. Okay.

But there wouldn't be any drama if, say, you got married and they came along. And I'm talking about, like, past, past, you know, like years ago. So long ago it's almost a joke now that you even did that. Absolutely. So, yeah, I'd give them a cuddle, but it's more than even the act of asking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rather than just being like, this is an old friend. Yeah, yeah.

Just give them the hug and don't make a big deal out of it. But she's like, can I have one more hug? That's a huge red flag, right? I don't know. It's one thing to hear. I saw it and I was like, oh, okay. It was just asking that made it a bigger deal than it was. But all of these comments that people are saying,

oh, I wouldn't dare do that to my husband on our wedding day. And he deserves better. You can see in her face that she's not over him. It's like, well, you're jumping to a lot of conclusions there. But I was thinking that would be on the absolute low end of the drama scale of what people have experienced after inviting an ex to their wedding. Like someone declaring their undying love for that person.

Yes, I've always wanted to be at a wedding where that happens. But it never does, does it? Does anyone object? They don't ask that anymore, do they? Forever hold your peace. You can take that away. I should know this. I'm a marriage celebrant.

Are you? Why is everyone a marriage celebrant? I did it because two friends asked me to become one specifically for their wedding, which got cancelled due to COVID. So I am a marriage celebrant with zero track record. Zero experience. Zero track record.

And I mean, you've just done a great job of selling yourself to anybody interested. Yeah, don't worry. I'll get all the legal stuff right. Do you have a nice folder? I don't have a folder yet. I was going to do off the cuff. Oh no, you do need a folder. Oh my God.

You need a nice. Get a nice folder. Sometimes you see a marriage celebrant with just like a clear file. No, no, no, no. From warehouse stationery and it's like blue. That's not classy. Get a nice leather bound...

You also need a myriad of outfits so that you compliment the wedding party but don't outshine. Yes. Or don't blend in. I was part of a bridal party and we were all in navy blue and then the celebrant turned up in a navy blue dress

that looked just like the one I was wearing. So she looked like just another part of the party. You want to avoid that. So I want to know, I think we've got to ask the question, have you been at a wedding and an ex has caused drama? Like what happened when an ex came to the wedding? Like was there a breakdown Yeah did they have a

Or did they drink too much And just want to have a little private chat I've always just wanted you to be happy Okay cool Okay thank you Don't ruin my day Do you think that Kiwis are just too Cool with their feelings

And they just suppress them Yeah Or that they wouldn't even People wouldn't really invite their exes to weddings Kiwis are just too cool with their feelings and they just suppress them? Yeah. Or that they wouldn't even, people wouldn't really invite their exes to weddings. Surely not. Not if there was some sort of... It's just a recipe. Yeah, not if there was only romantic history.

But if you're still friends, if you were friends and you're still friends, I don't know. It's complicated. You're asking for trouble. We want to know what happened when an ex came to the wedding. It might have been your ex when you were getting married,

or you might have witnessed this, and maybe there was a meltdown. A TikTok's gone viral because the new bride asked for one last hug from the ex. I mean, good on you for asking. I would have just leapt in there. Getting a grab. Yeah, I would have just leapt in there. Get in a grab. Yeah, I would have been a handful. Would you let, though, your husband-to-be invite their exes?

Yes, because I'm a very secure woman. I wouldn't because that's a hundred and something dollars per head of the average wedding guest, so I'm not paying for them to eat. Anonymous, when did the ex come to the wedding?

What happened? Well, I actually had invites for two, like not so much an ex, but a friend would benefit from the past. Invited two of them along because we've always been, it was always friends first. You know, we all have a past.

My husband knew about mine, I knew about his. Like, no issues. I also then had to catch up later on with a third person who then asked to come along too. They asked to come to your wedding. They were like, can I come?

Oh no, you don't do that. And it wasn't awkward at all. No, well, I didn't invite the third one because, as you said, hey, it's a costly thing. And you were my least favourite of the benefits. You were the least beneficial. They were down

the list. Brilliant. Anonymous, thank you. Heather. Hi. You had an ex at your wedding. No, it wasn't my wedding. I emceed a friend's wedding. Okay. And her ex gave her away, walked her down the aisle and

handed her over. Did people find that really weird? That's like passing the baton. Well, it was. That was mentioned many times during the evening. Some people thought it was really weird, but those of us who knew them and knew them well thought it was entirely appropriate.

Right, because I guess they ended amicably and just kept friends. She's yours now. And the blokes have become friends. They've got a great relationship. That's cool. Yeah, we're all grown-ups. So, yeah, it was perfect, actually. They do sound very grown-up and mature and wise.

So wise. And not jealous or anything. Hey, Heather, thanks. All right, keep grown up and mature and wise. So wise. And not jealous or anything. Hey, Heather, thanks. All right, keep your text, your calls coming in. We'll get to more of those next. Talking about times when exes have been invited to weddings and maybe some drama's gone down. Or narrowly avoided, such as this.

The drama happened before. I was the ex of the groom, reads this text. Okay. I got invited to the wedding because we were still good friends, but when I RSVP'd, the bride told me she didn't want me to come. Oh, no. A bit awkward. I was very tempted to attend, but I didn't.

Did that bride and groom not consult on who was receiving an invitation? Or her mood changed between... But once you've invited, you can't uninvite, can you? Yeah, that's... So, do you know, there's that thing at the moment with people cancelling their weddings and downsizing them, you know, because of COVID. You don't get the rejigged invite.

Yeah. Yeah, you don't make the second list. Oh, yeah. That's gonna hurt. Sarah, when was an ex at a wedding? I was invited to a mutual friends wedding with my ex. We've known as friends for about 10 plus years. I've been with my ex for seven years and we've separated for about two now. And my partner, my new partner, got last minute invited to the fancy wedding.

And we're talking Clifftop and Wellington, well over $100 a plate sort of scenario for everyone's dressed up to the nines. Right. And then my ex proceeded to crop dust for the entire evening. Now, we're not talking, you know, one or two incidentals. I counted at least half a dozen times

where he crop dusted me and my new partner. Right, so we're not talking flying a light aircraft over a farm with fertilizer. No, no, no. We're talking fart a light aircraft over a farm with fertilizer. No, no, no. We're talking farting and walking through the crowd. Yep. What?

Have you never heard that term, Hayley? I've never heard crop dust. Yeah, you walk and as you get past the people you want to crop dust, you fart just before them and then you like drag it through. Loft it into their environment. Yeah. Yeah. How bad was it?

What did they eat them? A lot. It was just like one or two times he got hurt. No, no, no caveat. And then when it got to the third time, you're like, no, he's doing it on purpose now. And, like, yeah, I've known, I knew him long enough to know that he was doing this on purpose. Wow. That is grim.

Yes. Sarah, thanks for your call. Amy, what happened when an ex came to the wedding? My husband's ex was actually one of my bridesmaids. Oh. And was that awkward? Did anything happen? Luckily, nothing happened, no.

But people originally thought that he cheated on her to get with me. So that was a little bit awkward to start with. So he did cheat on her to get with me. So that was a little bit awkward to start with. Oh. So he did cheat on her to get with you? No, people thought he did. Oh, people thought she denies his claims. He denies his claims. Unsubstantiated allegations. He's denied the allegations.

Hey, thanks for your call, Amy. Anonymous, what happened when an ex came to the wedding? About my wedding? Yeah. The ex came to my wedding. Okay. So it Yeah. The ex came to my wedding. Okay. So it was just an ex from a high school, part of that high school groups,

you know, that you stay friends with as you go on. Yep. And so I'd already been a little bit iffy, but things had, you know, been fine. You move on, it's high school. Then at our reception, he was giving her a lot of attention

and trying to talk to her all the time and go and laugh with her. And I just thought, you know, I'm being a bit dramatic. I just thought, you know, I'd want that one day to be about us together. Could I have like one day? And I did hit him up about it the following day or the day after and got told I was being overdramatic and just reading into things that weren't there. And then this continued on for a few more events, including another friend's wedding. And then he received an email from her stating that his behaviour was making her partner

feel uncomfortable and that she is asking for him to stop that sort of behaviour towards her. He did tell me about this email and said he notices what he's being asked to do. And so I said, so I haven't been overreacting this whole time. And he goes, oh, no, no, you've still been overreacting. This is just a one time. I'm sorry, are you still with this hubby? No, sorry, ex-husband. Ah, right, yep.

I was about to give you a bit of a stern word there. You're about to get a team intervention. Brilliant. Intervention! Thanks for your call. Text messages. Ex is being invited to the wedding and drama that unfolded henceforth.

I was a nanny at a celebrity wedding. The groom punched the best man and gave him a black eye. Mr. Big from Sex in the City was there. He bought us

a bottle of champagne for the taxi home. What? What a night. What a night. What a night. I feel like they've been somewhat restricted in the details of that. What sounds like a fabulous story by the limit of how long they could send a text message. Wow.

I feel like it happens a lot in movies. You know, the burst through the door, like, stop the wedding. Yeah. I long to be at a wedding where that happens. I long to be the person that does it, to be honest. It'd be great if it happened

at one of those weddings that you didn't really want to go to anyway. Yeah. What, you're just doing it because you're bored? You want to spice things up a bit? And then it happens

and you're like, okay, I am glad we got it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Refund your date. We're refunding bad dates.

You let us know how much it costs, but then the trade-off is we need to know all the little details. All the details. All the details about how horrible it was. Adam joins us this morning. Good morning, Adam. Morning, guys. All right, so you had a bad date that you'd like a refund for.

Tell us what happened. It was just after COVID, and I thought to get back into the dating scene, me and an ex-missive had been over for long enough. So I jumped back on Tinder. Good on you. And organised to meet a girl in town at a bar. Okay.

And then we'd go for dinner after. Got to the restaurant. She was about 45 minutes late at the restaurant, and you wouldn't believe it, but she rocked up to our date with two of her friends. What? Oh, no, no. No, no, no, no, ladies.

Wait, so she was 40? Guys, I wasn't too fussed about it. Like, I understand, like, this day and age, some people probably feel safer bringing friends on dates and stuff. Totally. It was cool. Then it went well. It went surprisingly well, to be honest. We all got along. We had a house on fire.

Everything was going good. I thought it was about time we'd finished dinner. We had dessert. We'd got drinks and stuff. It was that time to break the shell, so I went to the toilet and literally threw my horror when I came out. I thought my eyes were deceiving me, to be honest, but I thought I was looking at the wrong table,

but I couldn't see them anywhere. Oh, my God. The three of them ran out on dinner. Oh, my God. Wait, and you had to pay for all of it? Yeah, we went out to Daikoku in town. Oh, my man. Nice choice, though.

Great place for a date. Oh, lovely. Yeah, lovely place. Adam, how much did that cost? It was, like, $280, man. Nice choice, though. Great place for a date. Oh, lovely. Yeah, lovely place for a date. Adam, how much did that cost? It was like 280 bucks. Oh, my God. Adam. And you never saw them again.

Nah, she blocked me off. She blocked me on Tinder. We did have each other on Messenger, so she blocked me on that. Same thing with her phone number. Couldn't get a hold of her. Adam, you sound like such a nice man. Are you still looking for a partner?

No, I've kind of gone off. It left a really bad taste in my mouth to be honest. Oh, no. Get back out there, Adam. You are an absolute catch. Yeah, you can't let that get you down. No, yeah, no. I should, but I can't.

Yeah. Well, he's still paying off the last date. So once he's got that all taken care of. Well, maybe this time, if you go on another date, get them to put their, you know when some restaurants ask you to leave your card for a tab? Get their card down. Yeah.

That's not a great look. No. No, it's not, is it? Hey, you put your card down. That is so true. Do you reckon they were just running a scam and they do this to a lot of guys? I started to think that because they were all,

we got a lot of house on fire. That's the heartbreaking part. Yeah. Oh, Adam. Wow. Dude. Adam, I mean, do we even need to run this through the machine, Vaughan?

No, but let's, because I built this machine specifically. Your date refund request has been... Approved. Oh! refund request has been approved. Yes, $282. Adam, congratulations. Refund all yours. I'm so happy

we could refund that date too because that is so shit. You didn't deserve that, mate. Does anybody else want her name to do a bit of an online stalk off to see what the deal is? I mean, don't give it to us on here, Adam. Could you actually like, could you go to the cops over that? Because she, like, basically did a dine-in dash.

No, because it's not illegal, though, to walk out on a date. They're not doing a dine-in dash because part of your party's still there, I guess. But they were eating and drinking. You could literally say to the restaurant, I'll pay my bit. You find them.

Yeah, to be honest, like, it was four main meals and a bunch of drinks, and the manager dude was sweet as enough. It was a bit over $300, but he gave me a discount because he felt bad. Oh! Man, everyone is feeling so sorry for you right now, Adam. Hey, awesome. That refund is all yours, $282, mate.

Well done. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. There is a new term floating around the zeitgeist. Millennial divorce. Now I'm a millennial. Are you guys millennials? Yes.

Upper crust millennial. Yeah, upper crust millennial. What's the next up for millennial? Gen X. There's Xenial. And then Zendaya. Xen then. Xendaya.

Yeah. Well, millennial divorce is basically millennials, we're not getting married anymore, but we are proceeding with other things that married couples would usually do. Predominantly, we're buying houses together. You know, we're pulling together what measly little coin we have in order to get on that property ladder. And then millennial divorce is when a couple that aren't legally married but do own significant purchases together, such as a home. Or a pet.

Yeah, or a pet. Then split and then have to deal with dividing their assets as you would a normal divorce. What is it in New Zealand? They're calling it the millennial divorce. What is it in New Zealand? How long do you have to cohabitate? De facto.

De facto is two years or three years cohabitation? That's wild to me. Two years and then you're basically entitled to 50% of their money. And half their student loan debt. Is that also included? But I believe it's a split of everything. Debt included. And half their student loan debt. Is that also included? But I believe it's a split of everything. Debt included.

I mean, I'm not married and I'm a homeowner with Aaron. But it's all the same. Yeah, your partner. So you're engaged though? I am engaged. But you don't, you're not like. I'd be bothered. How long ago did you get engaged? Like a year and a half.

Okay. That's not too long ago. Are you sick of people saying when are you getting married? Have you set a date? Have you set a date? Have you set a date? No, we haven't set a date because we're working on pooling our money together. Other stuff, yeah.

To become asset tied but not legally tied. Right. And you're engaged and you're asset tied. You're practically married. I know. Why do you need to waste some money on a wedding? We've been together for 10 years. Eight years ago, I was already entitled to half of everything that he had.

And he you. And he I. So I don't need any of that. But the number of people not getting married is increasing by 25.8%. Young people. Right. We're just not doing it 25.8% young people. Right. We're just not doing it anymore. It's too expensive.

But then we still have to deal with, because of the law, all of the ramifications of splitting with someone. There's horrible stories here where people just lost all of their money and they weren't even married. The millennial divorce to end a millennial marriage, which is not marriage at all. How do you, how do, how do, you know when, what's coming?

You know when you would have had this situation where one of your friends is with someone that their parents don't like, and they, what do they do? Do you put all your stuff in a trust or something? And then that partner's not entitled to anything if they walk away. You get it all tied up in a family trust or something don't you yeah wealthy people know all the tricks to stay wealthy

yeah i don't know this one i um yeah like you can you can have like a prenup for a non-marriage though can't you you can sign like some kind of when do you have to sign that anytime and up to that two year mark yeah at what stage of your relationship you move in together, at what stage would you feel comfortable bringing up? Maybe on the move-in. If they're moving in and it's your place, maybe they move in on the proviso that they sign away their rights to claim anything.

Yeah. Because I don't, unless you put it through a lawyer and make it documented legally, the entitlement factor is in play. I have friends who are in long-term relationships, but they are buying houses separately. You know, like I'm buying this. You'll live with me and help pay rent. But then when they leave, they're entitled to half. So when they're saying I'm buying it though, you're like, no, no, no, but it's still just yours.

You're just putting the money forward. And they haven't had the legal documents drawn up. Oh, that's scary. I'd be too scared to do that. But the prenup conversation's hard anyway. Yeah, I don't think, Fletch, no one's staying at your house for longer than like three nights, let alone two years. No, they get evicted.

And if they were staying long enough, I'd be squirrelling away that money in a Cayman Island bank account and then breaking up with them. But here's the thing that they're saying in this survey is that people who aren't married aren't protecting themselves from these ramifications, aren't getting any legal protection for when they split with their partner.

Whereas when you get married, there is some sort of contractual conversation that you have. So you go, oh, we're going to sign this piece of paper and a lot more people maybe at that point go, should we decide on a prenuptial agreement? Yeah. Whereas if we're just meander spending life together and never get married, we never protect ourselves legally. My key is to, and this is working for me.

This is great life advice that Vaughan's about to give you. Especially if you're like me and you're ageing at three times the rate of your wife, it's going to get to the point where, you know, when I'm 60 it's definitely going to look like I've taken a trip. To Thailand to get a wife. To Thailand, yeah. She does not age. I mean, it's only a matter of time.

Your wife does not age at all. And her dad as well. John Senior. He's ageing very well. God, he looks 40. It's because he doesn't do anything. Yesterday we were raking up leaves and he just watched us. He's like, oh,

so much labour. He's the key to not ageing. I don't think he's ever held a rake before. Right, okay. But this is my key. If you're married to someone way hotter than you and it's only a matter of time before they work that out, bog them down in admin.

God, it would be a nightmare to leave me. Oh, really? Like, oh, mortgage to the hilt. Bloody, oh, everything tied up. Kids. Yep. See, we've got a cat, and that's already a difficult conversation.

Oh, no. We would split. I'd hand off the cat, but I know she wants the cat, so I'd probably keep the cat and use it as a bargaining tool to get a car. But this is the thing. You say in the throes of love, oh, you know, we'd split things down the middle, but if someone does something nasty.

How much fun would it be to take a chainsaw to a TV, though? Being like, fine, take half. You would so do that as well. A kitchen table. Oh, my God, I'd have so much fun soaring things in half and being left with nothing. Hey, well, thanks for that, Hayley. You've probably just invoked quite a few conversations

around the country today. Hey, enjoy that, guys. I'm going to go home and just ignore it. Keep ignoring it for the next decade. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I stuffed up the end. That's disappointing.

You'll get there. Thank you. Today's fact of the day is it comes to us from the first ever published Polish language encyclopedia. Oh, okay. You read that often? I flip through it every now and then. Nowatini, as it was called. Of course, that's Polish for encyclopedia.

It was first published in 1745 By a Polish priest Benedict Joachim Can't say the last name So that was the first one 1745 of course In a encyclopedia We all know Well maybe not actually

Because my kids didn't know What encyclopedia was I explained this to them Series of books Did you have a set growing up? Yeah A set of encyclopedia? Yeah

And then 95 City Rom. Encarta 95 came out and everyone was like, see you later, books. Ladies. Burn them. And then you'd do your homework with Encarta. Yeah. Yep. You'd pick up an encyclopedia and you'd be looking up a country that didn't exist yet

when the encyclopedia was printed because there was a whole lot of changes about what country was a country in like the 80s and 90s. And then the internet and Wikipedia. Yeah. Wikipedia. Oh my god. I passed many an exam on Wikipedia. Do you know why it's called Wikipedia? Wiki Wiki. Pedia.

Well, Pedia comes from encyclopedia. Yeah, and Wiki is Hawaiian for quick. Wiki, Wiki, Wiki. Wiki, Wikipedia. Wiki, Wikipedia., wiki. Wiki, wiki, wiki. Wiki, wiki, wiki. I think we've figured it out here. I believe it's wiki, wiki, wiki.

Named it in the early 2000s. There was very much a time for a bit of wiki, wiki. We need a cool name for an online encyclopedia. Wiki, wiki, wiki. Wiki, wiki, wiki. No, Hawaiian for quick. No, I don't think that is.

What? Okay, we agree to disagree. No, Hawaiian for quick. No, I don't think that is. What? Okay, agree to disagree. No, it isn't. It's Hawaiian. Don't come in here with your hearsay. Wikipedia. Carry on with your story. Okay, no, that's all just search.

Just admit you're wrong. I'm not wrong. Well, you are. I'm not wrong. Two against one. Well, I think that's how facts work. Yeah. Two of us believe it to one.

So we're right. That's how science works. Majority rules. Science is a democracy. It ignores fact. If 2020 has taught us anything, it's that the majority who believe in something are right. And the democracy never fails. Yeah.

Well, this Polish encyclopedia, the first Polish encyclopedia, had a couple of very interesting entries. Because you know the idea of an encyclopedia, it would say house, and then beside it it would say a dwelling where a family lives. It gives you a brief description of what it is. Maybe a little bit more specific detail than a dictionary.

But a horse. This was the entry beside horse. Everyone. But a horse. This was the entry beside horse. Everyone knows what a horse is. That sounds like it's five to five on a Friday and they're up to eight and horse. Benedict Joachim

Chomyshki had I don't know, he wanted a drink. It had been a long weekend of putting all of his knowledge into a book. Everybody knows what a horse is. Everyone knows what a horse is. Next. Goats are a stinking kind of animal. So not really.

But that was his definition of goats. And dragon. He drew a picture of a dragon and wrote, dragons, they're hard to overcome, yet one should try. What? Obviously, never having seen a dragon. So no other information. They're a land-breeding mammal.

Yeah, a horse, an animal used for transport and hard agricultural tasks. Very strong. Very strong. It just says... Very fast. Come on, you fool.

Everyone knows what a horse is. Next. What's after horse? Give me another word and I'll give you a definition of it. So today's fact of the day is that in the first Polish printing of the Polish Encyclopedia, the entry for horse simply said, everyone knows what a horse is.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, some scary statistics have been released regarding the incidents in New Zealand hospitals in the last year. So this is from July the 1st, 2019 to June 30, 2020. This is terrifying stuff. Yeah. So there were incidents like delays in recognising flesh-eating bacteria, a fire during surgery.

Wait, is this in New Zealand? Yeah, this is in New Zealand. Flesh-eating bacteria? Yeah. I knew. It's not a zombie apocalypse as it sounds. Well, okay, that's what people say just before a zombie apocalypse happens. So thanks for that.

You've jinxed this now, Sproul. It's going to get in with the COVID virus and the bacteria and the virus. So it also includes incidents like surgeons operating in the wrong place. So what do you mean? Like, okay, I come in and I need my appendix out. Yeah, and they're like, oh, here she is for her boob job.

I mean, that's a nice... I wouldn't be mad. I guess I could have to get back in there and do that appendix. Or if you die due to your appendix rupturing and polluting your system and you die, at least your boobs are going to look banging in that coffin. Banging. Banging boobers. Hey, we weren't going to do open casket because, you know, she's a bit face.

But got the boobs done, so... Yeah, now we're going topless casket. So there were 972 serious adverse events, including things like falling, serious falls. So I don't know if they're transferring you onto a... They're like, three, two, one. And someone's like, no, no, no, you've lifted on one. We lift on go.

And then someone on the other side just pulls up the thing and then... Oh, no. I wouldn't mind. But this is the thing. I've always... I think maybe I watched something or read something about people that are awake during surgery,

but they can't say anything or do anything. What was it? Remember last year? Anesthetic... Being crippled by anesthetic... Oh, that'd be horrible. Paralysis. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But a lot of these might have been also lack of follow-up and then their situation has got worse. Yes. So they might not have caught on to like a disease or an illness and then the person's deteriorated. That's the thing. I don't feel like we should be heaping this on doctors and nurses. Oh, no.

They do an amazing job. They need to go to university for longer, I reckon. I reckon cripple themselves with more debt. They need to be more in debt. They don't go long enough. They need to be worked longer hours. They need to go to university for longer, I reckon. I reckon cripple themselves with more debt. They need to be more in debt. They don't go long enough. They need to be worked longer hours. They need to be worked harder. Give them all a pay cut.

That's the thing. They do an incredible job. And I guess, you know, mistakes are going to happen, aren't they? But I mean, jeez. Wow, though. Operating in the wrong place.

That's how, it's like, you know, kids that get given to the wrong parents at birth. How do you mix up the clipboards? How do you have someone? Is that the problem, clipboards? It's the clipboard system.

It needs to be updated. The ones that hang on the end of the bed. And they pick up and then they've got four of them and they're like, oh God, which bed did this go on? And then they're just like. Yeah. Because I'll never forget. I know it was years ago. We talked about, I think there was a similar story released or some statistics.

And someone rang up and said they had the wrong leg or arm amputated. Or no, not amputated, operated on. Yeah. So they woke up. There's a big difference there. Do you remember that? It was, and when we talked about it, somebody, the doctor came in and started writing on their arm and like pointing the thing and they said, no, no, it's that one. And had to tell them it was the other arm.

So the doctor like got the vivid and like scribbled what had written on one arm and then just repeated it on the other. Do you know who's not happy about this? ACC. Right? Because they're having to pay a lot of money. Surely. Yeah.

Oh, that makes me never want to go under. I'm going to be a local girl, even if it's a major surgery. I want to be awake and I want to be talking to them the whole time. Is that the one? Well, I thought, could we open up the phone lines and see if we could find anyone that's had a surgical mishap? Oh, yeah. Like an unasked for nose job.

I mean, great stories. Yeah, you wake up and you've got a scar where you shouldn't have one and they're like, oh, whoops. I think I know someone that had a tool dropped in their mouth. They were a builder. It was just a fun game they played at lunchtime. You lie down with your mouth open and I'm going to drop a hammer from the third floor. A surgical tool by a dentist.

No, and you hear people have operations and they leave a scalpel or a gauze in there. And it takes years until it starts to get infected around it. Well, they have an x-ray and they're like, oh, you've got one of those tweezers in you. So I got my kidney taken out and now I'm worried they did the wrong one. Well, no, I think you'd be dead if they did the wrong one. I would be. One wasn't working, right?

Yeah. Okay, I would be dead. Okay. You're not plugged into a dialysis machine for like eight hours a day? Okay, no, no, you'd be dead then. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So a list has been released of surgical mishaps. Quite serious.

Some of these very serious. Oh, yeah. And we are taking your calls now. Have you been involved in a surgical mishap? Because some of these stories are insane. Like people being operated in the wrong part. People having things left in them. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I had packing put into my sinuses during a surgery.

The doctor forgot to remove those. The doctor found it a year later when I went in and I was still having sinus problems and I was experiencing a yuck smell and slight taste. When they ended up removing the packing, there was gagging all around. Even the doctor was like Did he say sorry? I don't know if it was the same doctor or it was like the surgeon versus the GP

I would have asked to use his power annoying badge I would have asked to use his badge for a couple of weeks Exactly I get to this point where I don't gag I just start doing these horrendous coughing that sound like I'm about to spew.

Lauren, what was your surgical misadventure, mishap? It was a surgical procedure with the dentist, but I had some teeth work done, and you know when they put like a cap and stuff on and they have that little saw that chisels back? Oh, no. I don't know. Whatever they put on.

Anyway, randomly during the surgery, he said, oh, I've got an itchy leg. And as he itched his leg, the saw came closer to my face and cut a hole in my cheek. No! What saw? Are you talking about the drill? Oh, no, it's the one that like shaves back the stuff they put on their tooth if they're putting a cap on. It's like a little mini saw.

It's like a little saw that kind of cuts. You know when they... I thought that was a drill. And he's like... Hang on. It was the outside of my face. Like, he had it away from my mouth, and as he leaped down, it went into the side of my cheek,

and I had to get stitches. You had to get stitches. Oh, my God. Please tell me you got some compensation. Oh, well, the dentist's visit was free. Oh, please. See, I'd take a sword in the face, because my next dentist trip's going to be expensive

because I haven't been for 10 years. Well, yeah, my last one was a couple of grand, so I would let him sore my face for that. Plus, scars are cool. You look like a pirate. Yeah, true. Go on. I'd take a sore to the face.

Brilliant. Hey, Lauren, thanks for your call. How can I trick the dentist into soaring my face for a friend? Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Messages in. Your surgical mishaps, a story today in New Zealand, surgical mishaps in the last year, heaps. I've shut down the story.

Oh, no, here it is. No, 900. These are like 900. And 75 serious adverse events. So it might not be a surgery. It could be like they missed a diagnosis. Yes. But sometimes wrong areas operated on.

Sometimes they're taking your hand when they should be taking your foot. You hope not. I'm speculating. So they've got to put the hand where the foot was. Good balance though. When you've got hand feet, you're like a monkey. Yeah. And it's, I mean, it's like, it's's not we're not having a go at the lovely doctors and nurses

that do a wonderful job these things happen think about this how many tens of thousands of surgeries happen flawlessly exactly but we are taking your calls

because it's quite entertaining to listen to it is also quite grim some of these stories I'm like la la la la well you had to run away before

and Vaughn nearly vomited onto the mic I've managed to control my vomit cough. We're doing well. I broke my leg at a wedding, Tibial Plateau. Is that where the wedding was, was it? The Central North Island.

The beautiful Tibial Plateau. Yeah, right. Stunning this time of year. Any time of year, but you're right, late summer. It's dried out, but the Tibial Plateau. Have you done the Tibial Crossing? Beautiful. No, I've done the plateau one though.

I haven't done the tibial. Don't have the legs for it. Okay. So it got snapped in half. They operated, put plates and screws in. Through the next two years, I was having some issues.

Went to another surgeon and found out they had put my leg 15 degrees out of alignment. So they had to go and re-break it and re-align it once more. Oh my God. That's bad Sometimes Like I am so glad

99.9% of the time We don't live in America Oh cause Cause you know Tens of thousands of dollars And suing them But then also like You could sue the hell out of them

If that happened right Oh yeah If you were in America And the person that messaged that And their name's Karen So you know they never Stopped talking about Sorry Karen You're probably in love with Karen Please apologise to Karen I do apologise Karen And to Karen person that messaged that and their name's Karen, so you know they never stopped talking about it. Sorry, Karen.

Please apologise to Karen. I do apologise, Karen. It would be hard having the name Karen. It would be hard to be a Karen because of everything that's happened in the last year. Listen, Karens, this too shall pass. Yeah, you need to find another name to take the heat. I don't know who's stepping forward to do that. Sharon.

Sharon. Yeah, just this lady. And then Tracy. I'm happy to put Tracy's in the firing line. They've had it too good for too long. They have. With their chardonnay and their hairdressing jobs. Somebody said, I had a surgical mishap. I was having a surgery on my head and neck to remove tumours and repair my jaw,

and in the process they cut the jugular vein. No! Now that might sound familiar, because that's the one that the leopards always go for. Yeah, that's the saying. Go for the jugular. Go for the jugular, because it's a surefire kill. No. Now that might sound familiar because that's the one that the leopards always go for. Yeah, that's the saying, go for the jugular. Go for the jugular

because it's a surefire kill. Yeah. My granddad, when he was 10, he was at the dentist and the dentist slipped while using a hand drill and pierced his eye.

Oh. He had to get a glass eye because of it. Well, that's why they give you, when you go to the dentist you get the Bono glasses. The sunnies.

The sunnies. You put them on. I thought that was to protect you from that light they use to make your fillings go hard. I thought it was just to embarrass you for looking like an idiot. Yes, and the dentist can be like,

how's it going, cool dude? Did you get those from a service station? Yeah. Off to the beach are you, man? Cowabunga hang ten. Why don't they give us Ray-Bans or something? I know. Some aviators.

Something kind of cool. I've got ideas, man. Get Sunglass Hut to sponsor it because if you see yourself looking cool, you'll be like, I want to buy these. And the dentist is like, we can buy them from here. Marketing. Jared to answer his mate, he works at the dentist. That's our idea.

When you walk into the surgery, they have one of those spinny sunglass things and you get to pick the sunglasses off, which ones you want to wear in the dental surgery. And then if you want to buy them afterwards you get a small discount. Yes, because you've just paid an arm and a leg

for the dentist appointment. Yes. Feel free to pass that idea on Producer Jared. I'm seeing her tonight so I'll talk to her about it. Yeah, good. Great idea.

Get that done. Hot date chat. The guys at work had a great idea. My grandmother had the wrong hip operated on at age 80. Oh, wow.

Oh, no. But that's kind of good, though, because she would have got her other one done. They got two brand new hips. Yeah, get it done both at the same time. Get it done. No stopping her at aqua aerobics. Oh, no. That low-impact workout's exactly what she's after in her recovery phase.

I was diagnosed with appendicitis, had surgery to remove it. Turns out there was nothing wrong with the appendix but they were like well we're in here anyway we might as well rip it out oh you don't need it I'd be grateful yeah ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan the podcast if you enjoyed this podcast why not give ZM's

free and clean to listen to subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts and music lives here ZM