ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - 2nd March 2021

Episode Date: March 1, 2021

Yummy Yummy  Top 6: Reasons Nelson is a Gay Icon  Jared's 1 Year  Moth-Man!  Peanut Butter Expose  Bachelorette Winner!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the Maccas app to get McCafe rewards today. Today! Um, hey guys, I want to let you in on a little secret or something I've been doing for you that you may not have noticed and I have to address it. Oh, okay. I have been holding in my farts. Here at work.

Every hour of every day that I have worked here. Oh, no, don't hold those in. They'll do you danger. No, no, no, no, no. I have, a couple of years ago, something happened to my guts. And I just. Yeah, you turned 30. I just became allergic to everything. I just became allergic to everything.

Like, utterly allergic to everything. My skin was going crazy and this weight thing and my allergies bloating and all this. It's called getting old. No, no. I'm not joking when I say it's dirty. It sounds like gluten. Your knees hurt. Your back hurts all the time.

Your guts gets upset at weird stuff. Oh, maybe. Hangovers are like eight times as bad. I've got a bad gut. I haven't been diagnosed with IBS or anything like that, but I did go many years ago to a... Weird stuff. Oh, maybe. Hangover's like eight times as bad. I've got a bad gut. I haven't been diagnosed with IBS or anything like that, but I did go many years ago to a- That's the International Space Station, eh? Yeah, it is.

Yeah, it is, yeah. I did go to a naturopath, and I got an allergy test and was told I was allergic to all these things, and one of them was dairy. I was like, no one thrives on dairy. I didn't take much notice of that. And so I've kind of gone on top of it. And just in the recent months, good Lord, Jesus, take the wheel.

Are you eating a lot of broccoli? Well, I... Because that makes you gassy, broccoli. Well, remember I was doing keto a while ago. And usually I try to keep that pretty clean. But this time, because of these long hours, I'm starving. So I was whacking back the cheese and the cream and the butter and the likes. Yeah.

And it has set my stomach. I don't know what I have done. So I was whacking back the cheese and the cream and the butter and the likes. Yeah. And it has set my stomach. I don't know what I have done. Wow, okay. But just a big shout out to Aaron for sticking with me through this because he's the one who has to put up with that in the house. So you're worse than your fiancé. That's saying something. Oh, yeah.

I've got an intestine tract that will make your mother cry. Wow. My mother often is brought to tears by the thoughts of other people's intestinal tracts i've been nervous about the these microphones because they really do they pick up a lot everything yeah all these sounds and like every now and then i'll be sitting there listening and he just goes i haven't noticed i haven't noticed that sound you know everyone's tummy grumps that sound is the gas moving from my tummy oh wow from the sad food i've put in there heading towards the bar and i have is if you do feel like you really need to release just

go out to the producer's booth grab a pen say you're grabbing a pen tell them something drop it out there and then come in float back in so that it's fine here but i remember the gas chamber but it's it becomes did you ever have this when you were first dating someone? Like when I was first dating Aaron, you know, and you would never fart in front of them. And I'd stay at his house for like days on end, holding in a fart for days. And I would have the sorest stomach

and you'd get in the car afterwards and just like, release. That's what I'm doing every morning with you guys. Release. Vaughn's never known when his wife has done number twos. No, never. I can never tell you if she even has pooped. Oh, she's so elegant. And here I am talking about my absolute bomb drops.

Yeah. Well, I know she must. I just don't know when. You know, next time we do something like Where's My Metal? Yeah. Holding in. I might apply for it. Her services are holding in gas.

Or maybe tomorrow. You don't have to hold them in. I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable. I want everyone to feel. No, no, no, you don't even. Are they loud or do they stink? No, very quiet. Yeah, but stink.

Stink though? Yeah. Oh, well, hold them in. Hold them in. We used to have the Britney Spears Parfum. Yeah. To cover it. To mask.

But now Britney Spears perfume is synonymous with stinkers. It's like a glade lavender. Oh, you walk in and you're like, for God's sake. Yeah, someone's dropped their guts. Well, you're welcome, team. No, you don't need to hold them in. Good morning. Welcome to the show.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul. Two minutes past six. Prince Philip there. Yeah. He's hanging on. He'll be getting the there. Yeah. Oh, he's hanging on. He'll be getting the best treatment too. Oh, he'll be getting top notch. Absolutely.

He's been moved to another hospital, hasn't he? He has. He's been moved to a different one to keep fighting some infection or some stuff. Is it a better one or is it a more chilled one? A better one. Oh, like a more intense one. Why wasn't he in the better one to start with? I don't know.

Maybe it wasn't that big a deal. They've elevated the situation. You don't want to the better one to start with? I don't know. Maybe it wasn't that big a deal. They've elevated the situation. You don't want to live to 100, but say you get to like 98. Oh, no. You get to 98. You're not clocking out at 98. Nah. Do you know what I mean?

Like, die at 90 or see 100. Oh, I'll be gone a long time before then. My KiwiSaver's not lasting. 50s, 60s? Well, just whenever the KiwiSaver runs out, yeah. So, say you get to 98, though, you'd want to see 100, right? No, it doesn't

interest me at all. You're that close! Although, by that time, maybe there'll be some kind of technology that's reversed the age dust. Right, maybe. And we'll all be living till, like, that long. Plastic surgery for organs. Yeah. But then we'll be running out of money by then, won't we? Yeah, 100%. Yeah. But the robots will be doing all the hard work.

That's true. And bringing home all the money. Because I've got a great-uncle Graham. He's 98. And I'm like... Oh, poor great-uncle Graham. He wants to... Does he even know what's happening?

Yeah. No, no, he's remarkably with it. Yeah, yeah. Right. And I'm like, everybody's just like, well, you've come this far. Don't bloody chuck in the towel now. Does he have the news up really loud? The TV? I don't know. I don't know. Right. And I'm like, everybody's just like, well, you've come this far. Don't bloody chuck in the towel now. Does he have the news up really loud, the TV? I don't know.

I don't know. Probably. Aaron's nana, bless her, was 101. Oh, wow. When she passed. That's a great, see, that's, if you're going to get to 98, you want to say, push on, keep Also, but then when you get 100, it's quite fun to keep going. Do you think, you know when you're a kid and everything takes ages?

Like a school year feels like an eternity. Oh yeah, it does. And they reckon it's because it's a large percentage of your life. Yeah. And then when you get into 20s,

a year is a 20th of your life versus a fifth of your life. Yeah. For example. And then when you get to a hundred, well, you're pretty blank and you've done another year. Do you reckon though?

Or do you reckon it's real slow because you've slowed down and you can't like be doing something the whole time and you're doing blank and you've done another year. Do you reckon though? Or do you reckon it's real slow because you've slowed down and you can't like be doing something the whole time and you're doing a lot of sitting. Yeah. Yeah, you can't fill your days as much. Yeah. So I wonder if time slows down again.

It's going fast at the moment. It's March. Yeah, I know that's nuts. Ridiculous. All right, coming up on the show, the top six. The top six reasons Nelson is a gay icon of a city. There's been a bit of backlash. A proposed rainbow crossing to show support for the LGBTQI plus community

has been met with some irate homophobia. Some of it disguised as people concerned about how their rates are being spent. Right. They've got no problem when they bung up something to do with some white explorer dude. They've got no problem to that. But it's when it's just a little rainbow crossing. But I'm here to tell you, Nelson doesn't need

you homophobics. Because it's already a gay icon. Okay, right. The top six reasons it is are coming up. All right. Also, after eight this morning, I believe we've got The Bachelorette, Lexi. Oh, exciting. Yeah.

The finale last night. I've watched the whole season. Do you think she picked the right guy? I do. Yeah. My heart was racing. I get so invested in these things. You love these shows, don't you?

I do, and she's so cool. She's really nice and down to earth. And, yeah, I think so invested in these things. You love these shows, don't you? I do, and she's so cool. She's really nice and down to earth. And yeah, I think so is he. All right, she's on after eight this morning. Next, if you don't believe in any afterlife or spiritual beings, deities, if you will, I've got good news for you, atheists. I'm listening. If you're up.

All right, if you're up. All right. If you're up. Atheists do love a sleep in. Otherwise, I'll pop it in the newsletter. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. An atheist doesn't believe in a God or a divine being.

However, an agnostic neither believes nor disbelieves in a God or religious doctrine. That was just what Fletch asked us before we went on. Are they on the fence? I think agnostics may be and text in if we're wrong here but agnostics is your mouse not working? Who just messed with the mouse? Did someone break the mouse? You just slammed it on the desk. You slammed it on the desk. That tends

to. Famously not how you fix things. That actually is working better now. Okay. Is that a laser mouse or an old school ball mouse? There's no ball mouses left, right? It's all laser. See, I think you've got to have something under your laser. You've got too much of a shiny desk. Somebody click the mouse speed.

Somebody. To triple speed. Who would do that? Clint Roberts. He loves a triple speed mouse. He loves a triple speed mouse. Cam at night's more like a speedy mouse. He's a speedy wee fellow.

Back to the story at hand. I think agnostics are still open to the idea of a greater power, but it's maybe not the biblical God that we know. They say that it's impossible for humans. Are they leaving a computer simulation open? Yeah, maybe. Okay, well, I'd be an atheist. I'd be an atheist.

Yeah. You're just stone cold. I like facts and science. I've got a friend, and it annoys me because I don't like talking about it because I know it upsets them but every time we like catch up with them

the conversation ends up being Vaughn what happens what do you think happens when you die I'm like nothing like it's the end of your existence something's got to happen

I was like why does something have to happen you're obsessed with something having to happen make the most of it now I can guarantee you you're alive now I can guarantee you you're not alive when you die.

Do it now. I can see that a narrative helps them deal with things and life. The comfort of Jesus must be just lovely, honestly. The bosom, the warm bosom of the Lord. The warm bosom of Jesus. I mean, I'm an atheist as well, but I did see a ghost. Let's not forget. Okay.

Those are hallucinogenic drugs. A couple of weeks ago, I was not on the shrooms. That was a carbon dioxide issue. We've established that. There wasn't enough fresh air getting into your room. So there's been a study done between religious people and atheists and how moral they are. Yeah, well, the moral compass of

those who believe and those who do not believe was part of a study conducted by the University of Illinois at Chicago. And Thomas Stahl. I say that because it doesn't have an H. Thomas, that's the name. Thomas Stahl. Thomas Stahl. Okay.

It's got an O over the A. What do we call that? I've only just learnt the omblut over the A. That's a double dot over the O. Oh, not my forte. Your Chloe Swarbrick's omblut. The most general take-home message from my study is that people do not believe in God do have a moral compass.

People that don't believe in God. In fact, they share many of the same moral concerns that religious believers have, such as concerns about fairness and about protecting vulnerable individuals from harm. Yeah, but you just do it to be nice, not because Jesus told you to. Because you're freaking out about what's going to happen when you die if you didn't.

You say the same thing. Be nice to your neighbour. Just don't. Be kind to everybody, even that guy that went to the gym when he was told to isolate. Yeah. It's hard though. It's testing. It's real hard. It's testing. Oh, but it's going to be worth it

at the end of it. Sweet seat in heaven. Boom, see you there. I It's testing. Oh, but it's going to be worth it at the end of it. Sweetsied in heaven. Boom, see you there. I mean, if it is true and I'm open to the concept, I will not be there. I was thinking that just when I was getting my coffee, knowing we were going to talk about the moral compass. Who of us has the best moral compass? Oh, certainly not me.

Certainly not me. See, you guys say that. No, no, no, no, no, no. You guys say that, but what are you, what are you doing? Well, I'm multitasking. I've got to sellotape something.

I'm about to lose my frigging moral compass. No, I was thinking you say that, but you do have a good moral compass. Thank you. You're a deviant. Like, if you took the best of all three of us,

you'd probably create a pretty bloody decent human being. The best. You've got a fantastic work ethic. I was thinking this yesterday when we were doing Have You Been Paying Attention. I was like, you are in total command of this because it was a bit different. There was a way less crew. And you were just like, let's just get this done.

What's wrong with you? Why are you so positive? I'm dying and I'm freaking out. Why are you being so nice to us? I don't know what I've got to add to this perfect human we're building, but I'm just saying. Okay, right. But then I was thinking if you took all of our best parts

and made one good human, imagine the leftovers. Holy shit. What an absolute drunken deviant that would be. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, Yummy Yummy, a segment of the show where we take a look at new food treats. Heading the shores. And there is a new collab. You may have seen this online yesterday.

Pascal have announced they are doing milkshake lumps. So like pineapple lumps, but the milk bottle lolly inside the lump. I don't like... It's not the milk bottle lolly, it's the milkshake chew. You know, like the fruit burst style milkshake chew, not the milk bottle

that you get in a dollar mix. I don't like either of those. I don't like either of those. I don't like either of those. Milk based lollies. But if you're in a long car ride, say from Dargaville to Wellington, and all you have left in the bottom of the bag is the milkshake lolly,

you're going to eat it and you're not going to hate it. Yeah, but I'll eat it begrudgingly. You'd be like, yuck. I'd love to initiate the barter system there and swap it for something. Yeah, but what if it... I'm going to say swap there. A little panic. Switch swap for something. Would you rather eat if it's... I'm going to say swap there. A little panic. Switch swap for something.

Would you rather eat an orange fruit burst over a milkshake? See, I wouldn't either. I wouldn't choose that. I'd rather have an orange citrus... I'd do a lime fruit... Yeah. A lime burst. But you don't have the pick of the bag here.

I'm saying in dire situation, you would enjoy a lime fruit juice. I've never hated a fruit burst. I think I like all the flavours. You like orange? Yeah. I like orange flavour in anything. You might be a little bit sick. It reminds me of my job.

So many oranges. Is it controversial to say I don't even like pineapple? I'm not a huge fan. Have you put them in the freezer? Yeah, I have. Snap? Yeah, they snap and they hurt your teeth when they snap when they go. I love them.

But no, yeah. Producer Jared's saying this is a top tier chew. Top tier? The milkshake. Top tier. Absolutely sickening. Jared, I've lost so much respect for you in this last second. Yeah, milkshakes are definitely not a top tier show.

I know people do like them. They go crazy over them, but no. How nuts. Have you seen the supermarket? How crazy people are going for the hundreds and thousands chocolate? I don't know if it's because it's level three in Auckland, but just like you see the stand and it's just been gouged. I went to New World around the corner yesterday

and actually it was on sale. Right. Did you buy one? No. I don't like it. Thanks for sending me some, what it is, but... You're not a huge fan.

I like the biscuit. I'm not a huge fan of it. It's just white chocolate with pink food colouring and hundreds and thousands of it. And a bit of crushed up Bicky Bays. Again, what's wrong with that? Nothing's wrong with that. Because that sounds delicious.

But I'm not, you know, fizzed over it. All right, well, they're out today. Out already, came out yesterday. Pascal Milkshank Lumps. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. From the sophisticated ZM Think Tank, this is the top six.

Just picking a bit of muesli out of my teeth there. We did that thing where there was a bit right up the back of the top, so you've got to get a finger up there and run around the whole gum. Bit of a clean out. I've got a chia seed situation again this morning. You will never learn. Today's top six are the top six reasons Nelson is already a gay icon. Yeah, great.

This is because, and it's important to point out, not everybody in Nelson, but there have been, there has been a flare-up of homophobia.

So they put up a Facebook post saying they're going to have a rainbow crossing. They want to have a rainbow crossing on the main street in Nelson.

It's just a nice little way to say yes. And it kind of, Auckland led the charge, right? This was the pride celebrations in Auckland. It's been rainbow crossings. They're an easy thing to just lay down.

Well, yeah, Auckland's got one, but I think Wellington's got a permanent one. Oh, Wellington, yeah. Do you know who else? New Plymouth was the second permanent rainbow crossing, and I don't remember there being an uproar there. Hmm. Yeah, neither in Wellington.

And the mayor was pretty cute. He came out and said, this is just a way of showing that we've grown up as a city. Have you guys been up to K Road recently? Hmm. Yeah. Neither in Wellington. And the mayor was pretty cute. He came out and said, this is just a way of showing that we've grown up. Have you guys been up to K Road recently? No. I've seen it. It's good, yeah. It's really good.

Because, you know, it's been very congested up there. Now they've done a great rainbow street. That's good. It's just nice colours, isn't it? It just cuts colourful. And also quite cheap, you know, because you can just get test pots. Because you don't need a lot of the same colour. I don't know if you can paint a road with test pots.

Yeah, resin test pots. You walk into Mitre 10 to use their paint shaker. You're like, I've got some road marking paint here, but I need some red and some orange and some yellow and some green and some purple and some blue. What type of red? Just red, red. Red, red. Fire engine red.

Real red. Maybe in New Plymouth there was no complaints because they're so old-fashioned, they don't know that that is to represent the LGBTQ. They just think it's a rainbow. They just think it's a nice rainbow. Yeah, maybe. And they say things like, rainbows make me feel gay, but they mean like 1930s gay.

Right. Just happy and gay. I mean, I don't think everybody in Nelson was complaining. No, no, no. I've lived there and it's very, there's some very progressive people there, but there's also a lot of old people. Because Nelson's quite an arty. Yeah.

Arty, farty, hippie. Yeah. He's very accepting. But then you've got your, there's a lot of old people. A lot of old people will retire and they don't like rates being spent on anything apart from ramps. Anything apart from themselves, basically. Yeah.

So, but I've got the top six reasons that Nelson's already a gay icon. Slap a rainbow crossing on it because it's been our gay icon for years. Okay. Number six, it's the home of the world of wearable arts. It's the birthplace, and now there's a museum. Yeah. You can go and see some wonderful outfits. Fashion, baby.

Some absolute, yeah, icons of fashion. Number five on the list of the top six reasons Nelson's already a gay icon, the time gun. Who did the time gun? No. It's a gun. Yeah.

Let me read you about the time gun. In 1858, the Nelson Provincial Council erected a time gun at the spot on Britannia Heights where in 1841, Captain Wakefield erected his flagpole. Ooh. Hello. Stop hitting erected like flagpole. Ooh. Hello. Stop hitting erected like that. Read between the lines. The gun was fired each Saturday at noon to give the correct time.

The gun is now preserved as a historical relic. And the song of tree marks the site on Signal Hill of the original flagpole. Huh. Okay. So he's up a hill on Sunday at lunchtime running it up the flagpole. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, read between the lines.

I think you're really making this quite sexual. Yeah. There's no doubt about it. Here's another historical fact. And at number four on the top six reasons Nelson's already a gay icon. Yep. If you're homophobic, leave the area. Because Nelson was named in honor of Admiral Horatio Nelson.

Oh, he sounds fabulous. He does. Horatio. I bet he wore of Admiral Horatio Nelson. He sounds fabulous. He does. Horatio. I bet he wore those sailor pants too. He did. Yes. He's a handsome man and I'm not presuming his sexuality. Oh, we shan't.

I wouldn't do that. But, I mean, I've got a little photo here. Look at that. Phenomenal. Oh, yeah. But he could have been in the bright bright in that outfit. Yeah. It's so snappy.

It's very snappy. It's very snappy. And the medals and everything. The medals and everything. That's a 1799 portrait. It gets lonely at sea. Yeah, I bet it does. Yeah, you bet. You bet.

He defeated both the French and the Spanish at the Battle of Trafalgar. So that's why it's called Trafalgar as well. Number three on the list of the top six reasons Nelson's already a gay icon, so homophobics. It's time to leave town. In New Zealand sign language, the name for Nelson is signed by putting the index and middle fingers together, which are raised to the nose,

and then the fingertips touch the nose and then move the hand forward so that the fingers point slightly away from oneself. Yeah. Don't wink as you do it. That's not part of New Zealand sign language. No, this is. Not the creepy wink.

The creepy wink. Oh, not the wink. Facials are a key part of sign language. And don't juju the lips. And don't sniff. Wink. So, you know, we all know what that means. Okay. Read between the lines.

And number two on the list of the top six reasons Nelson's already a gay icon. So slap a rubber crossing on it and let's be done with it. In an article to the Colonist newspaper on the 16th of July, 1867, Francis Stevens described Nelson as the Naples of the Southern Hemisphere. Naples, another homosexual hotspot. The Naples of the Southern Hemisphere. I do declare. That is beautiful.

Nelson has the nicknames of Sunny Nelson due to its high sunshine hours per year. So you would say it's got a wonderful sunny disposition. And it's also top of the South. Top of the South because it's geographic location. So it's the top. It's the top of the South! Because it's geographic location, so it's the top. It's the top, yeah. It's the top. And Vikargal, you're the bottom. Don't know why you're laughing, Wellington.

And number one on the list of the top six reasons Nelson's a gay icon, have you seen the diocese of Nelson at the Christchurch Cathedral on Churchill? That big? Valak. That big. Phallic. Phallic. Right in the middle of town.

Right in the middle. Here it is. Gaze upon it. Well, I think we've settled that deal. Let's spend some rates money on a rainbow cross. And congratulations, Nelson. That's today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. March the 2nd, 2020. Who can forget it? We're on the precipice of the pandemic, weren't we? What day did we go into level four lockdown? Well, it wasn't. I remember the 6th of March. I went to Wellington for the weekend because that's my mum's birthday.

It wasn't too long after that. I feel like it was before the end of March. Wasn't it Sunday was the anniversary of our first COVID case in New Zealand Arriving Yeah Remember there was COVID at the Tool concert? It was the 20th of April We went into lockdown

We went into Oh no that was when we got the extension for five days So we were already in Okay So we've been in for a month So it was like the 20th of March Well that's not the anniversary we need to celebrate on the show. No, we are here to celebrate Read Across America Day,

which is happening in the States. No, we're not. It's one year since Producer Jared joined the show. 25th of March. We went into Liverpool. 25th of March. Right, right. Well, Producer Jared joins us from the producer's booth.

Good morning. Good morning. Happy one-year anniversary of working with your idols. Oh, thanks, guys. Bon anniversary. You really didn't have to dedicate a whole break to me. Good morning. Happy one-year anniversary of working with your idols. Oh, thanks, guys. Bon anniversaire. You really didn't have to dedicate a whole break to me. Oh, it was absolutely your suggestion. It was actually your suggestion.

You did put it in the Daily Preep email that you have been here for a year. But you didn't have to, so I appreciate it. You came into the studio yesterday and you gave us a little reminder, like excited for the big preparations tomorrow. Like we were the useless boyfriend and you were a very excited girlfriend. Yes. Okay, well now you've got your moment. What do you want to say?

I just had a really good time for most of last year. Are you leaving? Most of? Most of it. Yep, I'm out the door. Yeah, because I remember you started and then it really kicked off. Yeah, we pretty much went into lockdown a couple of weeks later. Yeah, so I had a rough time starting.

I was very nervous, like overwhelming starting a new job. And then a pandemic, so I was freaking out. Yeah. But I'm still here. Yeah, good. You've lasted, haven't you? Just say how crazy. I'm reading what else happened a year ago today.

Air New Zealand offered $9 domestic flights as coronavirus impacts demand. If only they knew. Two people in New Zealand, close to suspected case of coronavirus. No risk of coronavirus. A Tauranga cruise ship, clear of disease despite very ill passengers.

Oh dear. Was that the cruise ship that then went on to go down to Napier and then on to dear. Was that the cruise ship that then went on to go down to Napier and then on to Australia? Was that that cruise ship? Maybe. Yeah, because it was around about that time. It wasn't too long after that.

The cruise ship's got the hey, whoa, no, you don't. Gerard, what about some highlights? What would you say would be a career highlight over the last 12 months? 18th of December last year was pretty good. That was holiday, wasn't it? Yeah, that was our last day on air. Right, okay. Wow, so the highlight was a holiday.

George and Bert laughing. How rude. It's so good. Jesus. Wow, okay. No, like, it's always fun doing your birthdays. Yeah, I mean, you don't sound... Okay, okay. No, like, it's always fun doing your birthdays. Yeah, I mean, you don't sound... Okay, great.

I'm waiting for you guys to shower me with compliments. The best part of your working with us is when the holidays come. Amazing. You're waiting for a shower of compliments. Yep, yep. I'm trying to reverse this, because I know what you guys are trying to make me do. I think, you know,

too often on people's anniversaries, we shout them with compliments. I think, let's buck the trend and you should give us some compliments. Oh, it's really hard though. I think start with Vaughn.

No, don't start with me. I don't want one. I don't want one. I don't know how to process them. I've never been here to process them. Absolutely a wizard

on the Photoshop and all the social stuff. What are we, we're not, what are we, what are we doing? What is it, the Golden Globes, mate? Thank you, Sergio.

Play his music. Wrap him up. Wrap him up. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. An American sex therapist has divided his 300,000 followers on TikTok with an opinion. He has a doctorate in clinical sexology, written multiple books on sexuality. And he's now said that, well, he's explaining to his followers

how straight men can have sex with men without it being specifically gay. Have a listen. When straight men have sex with men, it's not a gay thing. It's guy thing so what i mean is in general men have more transactional sex with one another so when men have objectified sex where it's just about the act it's just about getting off people man shame him okay so is he saying that a woman could have sex with a woman and they wouldn't be he hasn't gone into women on women yet. Right. But his take is that for men in particular, over women,

sex is more of a transactional than maybe an emotional thing. So something that you're not... Yeah, right. So for them it can just be, not always, and I'm not generalising here, but it can just be about getting off. Just the

act of it. And who you choose to do that with actually has nothing to do with it. But it doesn't make you gay. It doesn't make you gay. What about a little bit bi? I mean, obviously sexuality's fluid. Yeah, it's a scale, isn't it?

Yeah. And I mean, it's quite a... Yeah, it's... You can go quite deep into it, can't it? Yeah. And I mean, it's quite a, yeah, it's, you can go quite deep into it, can't you? You can go very deep into it. Opinion was pretty split on it. A lot of people are saying, I just don't believe that. You know, you have to be interested in them sexually and physically to be able to engage in a sexual act with someone of the same sex if you are not gay.

Some people are saying, yeah, a bit of a double standard with women because they make out with other women all the time and still claim to be 100% straight. Women do love making out with other women, though. Why did you say that like that? I don't know. Why? Just for a little laugh.

I don't know. For fun. I don't know. For fun. I'm talking about, you know, there's always that thing when you're in your uni and you're out in the clubs. Yeah, right. Is there a curiosity there? I don't know.

Okay. I mean, I won't speak of my own experiences here. Yeah, Roger. Because it's morning radio. The straight man who was having sex, here's another opinion, the straight man who is having sex. Here's another opinion. The straight man who is having sex with another man is into it because the guy is into him. It's all about him.

So it's like a narcissistic thing. Like you are playing off the idea that people want you. So you don't care who wants you. But they're still straight, according to him. Because you don't want them. You just want to get off. You just want someone to want you. Yeah.

Another opinion from the doctor himself, it could be because of a voyeuristic tendency and they enjoy just arousal from sexual acts, even if women are around. Right. Well, there you go. Get out there. Give it a go.

Give it a go. Get out there. Give it a go. You don't have to identify as gay or bisexual or anything if you're a straight man who wants to have sex with another man. It's purely transactional. It's that you're attracted to the sex. You're not attracted to the man.

Right. I just couldn't do it because of all the stubble and stuff. Never say never. It's my person. Right, okay. Yeah, I don't think I couldn't do it because of all the stubble and stuff. Never say never. It's my person. Right, okay. Yeah, I don't think I couldn't do it. Right. Would you feel the stubble with your big beard, though?

Yeah. I'd get caught in a beard like Velcro. This is the soft. Yours is the stubble. This is the soft and now the stubble. We'd get locked. Yeah, right. Some sort of Velcro-y situation. Nature's Velcro.

We'd be stuck together for a long time. That's literally all that's stopping me. That's what you think happens when men and men kiss. Yeah. Because they get their beards Velcro. Well, no, I know when I've got short hair and my wife's hair gets in it and it gets stuck in it, you've got to pull it out and get it sorted.

So, you know, closer. Yep. I just think don't draw a hard line in the sand, Vaughn. Me? No, I drew the line in the sand. Thank you very much. I'll take the't draw a hard line in the sand, Vaughn. Me? No, I drew the line in the sand. Thank you very much. I'll take the compliment of being a young man. You've got a lot of years of life.

You can't say what's going to happen in the future. Oh, no, no one can. Both of you. Yeah. Never say never, Fletch. Never say never. Okay. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan, the podcast.

ZM's $50,000 secret sound. Tell me what the secret sound is. Jude. Good morning, Jude. Good morning. Good morning. All right, we've got soundkeeper Al. Yeah, there she is. Good morning. Why is that not working? We've got an issue.

Vaughn, have you unknocked the power out of here? I didn't turn the mic on. Oh. Yeah, dumb, on. Oh. Yeah, dumb, dumb. Oh, sorry. It was either Vaughn knocking the power out or you not turning your power out. High probability. Here's why I'm always knocking the power out.

Yeah. It's one of those power cords that you plug in and some power comes off it, but it's also got the ability to have another one plugged in behind it. Oh, okay. It's like the human centipede for PowerPoints. And you just keep plugging them in. And then it's like a foot long, and when I spin around... You always knock it out.

I knock it out, yeah. It is too early for that kind of graphic imagery, thank you. That was a great way of describing it. All right, Jude. Sorry, Jude. $10,000. Sorry, $20,000. $20,000.

The current jackpot. Goodness me. I'm trying to shortchange you there,000. Oh, sorry, $20,000. The current jackpot. Goodness me. I'm trying to shortchange you there, dude. It's the current jackpot for our secret sound. Is that Jude Dobson? It's not Jude Dobson? It's not Jude Dobson? No, not quite.

Oh, okay. All right. Okay, well, $20,000, Jude, if you can tell us what this secret sound is. I think it's an engagement box, a ring box shutting. Shutting, not opening, shutting. Shutting, yeah. It's quite staticky though for that.

Like that's more of a clicky, not a thud, but a light. But then again, like, it's an up-close sound, isn't it? It is. We don't know at what level it's been amplified. True. Okay. Alright, well, Jude, where are you from? I'm sorry? Wellington?

Jude from Wellington. Guessing a ring box, jewellery box closing for $ box, closing. For $20,000, that is not the secret sound. Jude, you guessed it wrong, but you do get $100. Oh, I thought it was. Congratulations. All right, it's all thanks to Star Streaming now on Disney+, including more originals like Solar Opposites.

You can learn more at DisneyPlus.com. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Ah, moths. You, you just told us you have like wildly, you've got a phobia of moths. What is it? Butterflies too? Stop saying the

word. I have had It's so bad. Like actually. I've worked on it over the last couple of years. It's quite serious. It used to make me drop to the floor and have a panic attack. But butterflies as well?

Don't like them. That's for sure. But M-O-T-H. Stop saying the word. Is it the dust? Is it how dusty they are? I don't know what it is. It's an irrational phobia. I've had it for like 15, 20 years. But they're harmless. No, no. They're flappy.

My brain is well aware of how I'm having a hard time. What about if you've got the curtains open and the lights on inside and the ranch light are on and there's like... I don't do that. I don't. I live in a dark house. The minute the sun goes down, you're in pure darkness. I'm a winter woman when they don't seem to be around as much.

You light a flame at a distance so that they're attracted to that and you can remain in the complete darkness. So what if you were out, say you were out, you had a couple of drinks out on the deck, it was night time and you had the light on and they were flapping around near you, would you run? I'd run to the bathroom, probably cry in the toilet, have a little panic attack.

What if you saw one behind a glass thing with a pin through it? You know how they display? This is good. You should have been at our house last night. This is what happened. The girls are going to bed. We live rurally and we get those big puriri moths. I can't listen to this.

You're actually triggered. Yeah, I'm triggered. It's not like, oh, I don't like them. I've got a genuine irrational phobia about them. Have you ever thought about getting hypnotherapy? Yeah, I have. I had a little bit of therapy therapy around it. It was that bad.

Like, actually. Yeah, it used to make me, I crashed my car once because one came in my car. And you were just like straight into a tree. You're like, I'll kill us both. And Vaughn last minute's like, I know what we should talk about. Moths. I'm genuinely like. Trigger.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Sweating. No, just do it. Okay. So last night, I was, the girls were in bed. We were all getting ready to go to bed. They were in bed and Sade was in with them. And I walked from their room into our room

and we've got like a pitched ceiling and it's white and because this was in such contrast to the white it immediately caught my eye so I looked up and this moth this was it

so this is from what I I've done a bit of googling I believe it was an owl moth sorry I should have warned you except it was a bit dark it was like this dark one but it was the biggest moth. Sorry, I should have warned you. Except it was a bit darker. It was like this dark one. But it was the biggest moth I have ever seen in my life.

And so much so that I thought it was a bird for a second. Oh, wow. Yeah, they're huge. It was massive. Hayley's just backed away from the mic. So I know that all three females in my house are terrified

of flying insects. But given that it was up high and far away, I thought I'll tell them to come and have a look. So I was like, girls, come and have a look at this. And that any excuse to get out of bed. If you've ever tried putting kids to bed, any excuse to get out of bed. They slowly get out of bed.

I'm like, look at this. And August walks and she's like, what, what? I'm like, up there. And she looks up and she's like you. She's like, ah, and turns and runs straight into the doorknob. And she's like, oof, straight into the back. And then she's on her back looking up at the moth which is right above her, which is moth,

fear is worse nightmares because you think they're going to fall in your mouth or something. And she's like, ah, ah, and crying and screaming and scuttling. And I'm like, it's okay. And I help her up. And Indy's like, I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it.

And Shado's like, what is it? I'm not coming in. What is it? I'm like, it's a moth. And Shado's like, what is it? I'm not coming in, what is it? I'm like, it's a moth. And Shado's like, shut the door, shut the door. So they're all panicking, hiding in their room from the moth and I'm like, I can't reach it, the ceiling's too high.

I need to go and get somebody to get it. So I went and got a stool and I came back with a stool, moth was still there, couldn't reach it. Went back to get the duster to knock it down, came back, moth was gone. Put the house on the market and get the hell out of it. Where have you gone?

And so I didn't really think about it. I said to them in their room, I was like, turn your lights off because it's going to be attracted to the light. And so I turned the light off in our room. They turned the light off in their room, but the light bulb right outside their room in the hallway was going. And I was like, oh, it'll probably go to the light in the hallway. Well, that was just like, there was screaming, there was panicking,

there was crying. I was like, all right, you leave your light off. I flick the light back on. And then Shada's like, have you found it? I was like, I can't see it. And she's like, have you found it? And I've got a big shit-stirring grin on. Yeah. And then Shardai's like, have you found it? I was like, I can't see it. And she's like, have you found it? And I've got a big shit-stirring grin on my face. So then I go quiet.

Yeah. You're a monster. And they're like, dad? Dad? Dad, have you found the moth? Dad, where's the moth? And so the kids are like, the moth got him. The moth got him.

Shardai's like, moths can't get men. Moths can't get men. And so the kids are like, the moth got him. The moth got him. Sharday's like, moths can't get men. Moths can't get men. And I'm just quiet. And they're like, dead, dead. It's not funny. Don't go out there. And it was like a horror movie. They were like, who's the dead?

And I was just quiet. So then I lay on the ground and crawl into their room. And I'm like halfway in the door. And Sharday's like, it's okay. It's okay. I try not to panic them. And I go. And like halfway in the door and shadow's like it's okay it's okay trying to panic them and i go and like on the ground and shadow squeals she's like like i'm surprised the windows just didn't go boom boosh and blow and she's like and the girls are just like looking at me and their

eyes are like wide and then shadow's like kicking me kicking me. She's like, no, never again. No, no. Where's the moth? Where's the moth? I was like, I still haven't found the moth. So she's like, I thought you'd throw the moth. And then it just, she later admitted that a little bit of wheeze might've come out when I came around the corner.

So then I began the moth hunt again and they didn't trust me. So they shut the door. Right. But then I found the moth and it was massive like in my hand Hayley block your ears in my hand when I had my hands

Oh my god. I had my hands cupped and it was like trying to get out and I like took it outside and threw it and it like took off into the night sky

so it's out there. Presumably. It's free. Presumably it's got look how you're sweating. Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I would have excused you

if I'd known the trauma your hair's just like you've read that present. I need to go home. But then they wouldn't trust me. They wouldn't come out of the room. Yeah, because you're an absolute monster.

I was like, the mask on. They're like, we don't believe you. I'm like, I promise I threw it out and I was like, I'm coming in and I opened the door and they were just like, that mouthoth's gone. They're like, we don't believe you. I'm like, I promise. I threw it out. And I was like, I'm coming in and I opened the door.

And they were just like, that moth better not be in there. And then they were like, pull your pockets out. You've got to shut us up. We'll put some moth in your pocket. So today when I go home, I still don't think there'll be any trust. It's going to take me a long time to resolve the trust. You should actually buy a moth costume and say that the moth bit you. And I've turned into Mothman.

And then later you go into their room as a moth and you're like... Every time they turn the light on I'm like... And they're going to end up like Hayley. They're going to grow up and be like Hayley. Don't traumatise them. They're everywhere and it's such a bad phobia to have.

That big, justy get the airport here? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan with Hayley Sproul who is very petrified of moths and has crashed her car twice because of them.

Oh, man. We're learning this now. Let's do more on this. Let's deep dive. We can't deep dive. I've deep dived with a professional on it and I'm resolved.

We're just going to park it. So you didn't crash your car once because of moths twice, and once you just said it was on the Wellington motorway. On the motorway, yep. I had my window down, and in one came, and I just swerved. When I say crashed, neither of them were major, but I swerved, thankfully, in my rubbish car into the barrier. Wow. Because I was, I'll just like,

as soon as, I have this like twitch, as soon as they're around, like that's the priority. So driving 100 kilometres, doesn't matter anymore. So they instantly become your number one priority no matter what situation you're in. Nothing else. Hands are off the wheel, I'm dealing with it. Babbling. Yeah.

Swatting them away or you don't want them to touch you? Another time I was flatting, I lived alone in my first year of drama school. I was flatting in Brooklyn and Wellington

and I had the oven on and one came into the house so I left the house and wouldn't go back inside. Oven's ablaze. Something's in it. Like the house is going to catch ablaze.

So to ring my dad, he had to come over from the wider upper an hour away. What? To come to my house and deal with it. And the moths inside being like you've got something on fire in the oven. Yeah. I'll leave. Let me open the door. I'll come out. Oh my god.

I can't believe that we've found this out. Just because Vaughn talked about it. Wow. Okay. All right. Well, let's move from moths to cute French bulldogs. Yes, please. Lady Gaga, the latest.

Oh my God. No, they're my phobia. Whenever I hear them going, thou mocketh me. This is why I don't. I honestly didn't know I wouldn't have made such a mistake. Vaughn can't walk down Ponsonby Road. It's paralyzing. There's French bullonby Road. It's paralysing. There's French Bulldogs everywhere.

My breathing's gotten very short, and my breathing therapist would be very disappointed in how I'm breathing with this moment. Anyway, so Lady Gaga dog situation. Quick recap. Her dog Walker, she's in Rome. Her dog Walker was out walking the dogs. A dog napper pulled up beside,

stole two of the three French Bulldogs, and shot her dog Walker Ryan, Ryan, in the chest. He went to hospital. So I'm assuming he had the dogs for the whole time she's in Rome. Yeah, I guess so. Maybe he was dog sitting or something like that. He is a celebrity dog walker, so I don't know if he has other celeb dogs. She's a lady of money.

That's interesting. So he's a celebrity dog walker, so he may have been targeted. Because we thought he might have been targeted for the breed, but maybe he's targeted because... This is the thing that they still don't know about it, whether they knew that they were stealing specifically Lady Gaga's French Bulldogs or if they were just stealing the Bulldogs because they're a fancy, smancy brand of dog.

Brand of dog. Great marketing campaign. So now, so he was shot in the chest, rushed to hospital, and then his family made an announcement saying he was going to make a full recovery. Horrific video, too, of that shooting. I would say don't watch it. Don't watch it. Really disturbing.

So he was going to make a full, he's going to make a full physical recovery, but potentially not financial. Converted to New Zealand dollars. He's been strapped with a $140,000 medical bill. And he didn't, like, he was just walking down the street and now he has a bill. He was at work, technically. Yeah, for $140,000.

The US medical system is bizarre. Very bizarre. And they don't want, like, any kind of free healthcare like we do, right? Like, it's bizarre. No, because it's communism. They're scared of socialism and communism, and yet you get hit by a bus in America, and if you don't have insurance,

they could just leave you. Yeah, and they'll probably charge you for the dent in the bus as well. Yeah. So, yeah, he's got this huge hospital bill, and I don't know about his financial situation, but, I mean, that's a lot of money for anyone. That's probably a couple of years of salary

for your regular person, potentially, even more. And now Gaga has come out saying that she will obviously be paying that whole bill, as well as she was more than happy to pay the half million US dollar finder reward for the dogs that were found. Because the woman found them tied to a pole. Yeah, she was a good Samaritan. No, I'm not actually sure if that transaction's going to go ahead,

but she's going to cover Ryan's hospital bill, obviously, and compensate him for lost work because he'll be recovering for a long time. She feels horrendous about what happened to him, even though it's not her fault at all. And so, I mean, she's obviously totally devastated, can't come back from Rome. She's filming over there at the moment.

Ryan's recovering. She's just going to be paying out the wazoo for this thing. But the good news is Ryan is safe and the dogs are safe. Nice. So there you go. It's a happy ending. Well, I mean, it isn't happy. Apart from the gunshot wound.

The huge gunshot wound. The healing gunshot hole. And the fact that the person that shot him, they're yet to be found. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. A study has been done March 1st, which was yesterday, but like today in America, is that right? Yep. So it's National Peanut Butter Day.

Oh, happy National Peanut Butter Day. Oh, I didn't even bring any toast or peanut butter today. No, and what a shame. You've missed it now. You'll have to wait till next year. You can only eat peanut butter on that one day, can't you? Damn it. National Peanut Butter Day.

And a study was done asking people their preference between crunchy or smooth. Or as the Americans apparently call it, creamy. Ew. Oh, yuck. But Americans love to add things too, eh? Like a lot of our nice peanut butters

in New Zealand is just ground up peanuts. Yeah. And some salt. And that's what I said before, I'm more of a smooth guy, but then I love the Picks peanut butter.

That smooth isn't like a processed, like the sanitarium. Paste. Like whatever that is. That's disgusting. Yeah, it's yuck. How many peanuts are in there?

It gets a bit warm and it runs out. Yeah, it seeps. Oh, no, it's wrong. But I don't mind the crunchy either, but I'd probably go more smooth over crunchy. Yeah. Would you? Yeah.

And we went to the Pix Factory, and the only difference is that it goes through twice. That's an amazing tour. Isn't that the number one trip advisor in Nelson? Yeah, it's cool. It is cool. No, I'm crunchy all the way. I think peanuts should be enjoyed in any of their forms as a crunchy delight.

Let's have a dance outside the norms and talk about flavoured peanut butters. Because I'm a big fan of the flavoured peanut butters. This is what I do. I treat myself at the weekend. I'll pop in four slices of Vogel's. Okay. Far out. Why not? I'm not fat shaming you. This is what I do. I treat myself at the weekend. I'll pop in four slices of Vogel's. Okay. Far out. Why not?

It's toast thickness too. I'm not fat shaming you. It felt like you were. So then I have two. On that one, I'll jam like a sweet peanut butter, like Fix and Fog do this amazing chocolatey one. Get that on two of them. Team that up with some banana and some cinnamon

so you get your pudding. So what are you having for main course for your toast and peanut butter? On that one, I'll get the Fix and Fog Smoke and Fire and put that on and then put on some pickles, a bit of avocado, maybe some chilli flakes and some sea salt. You treat yourself at the weekend, don't you? You are a fancy wee boy. Do you make these for your family or are you just making your own breakfast?

No, they're heathens. They wouldn't appreciate the whole dinner. They can have jam and margarine. Yeah, they get it and they'll be happy with it. But there was a... In this poll,

they were asked who prefers smooth, who prefers crunchy. I feel like I've got peanut butter in my mouth now. I feel like that horse... You know how they make

horses talk in movies? They put peanut butter in the horse's mouth to try to get the peanut butter out, and it looks like they're talking. 63%. Sorry, in the poll,

people who enjoyed the crunchy peanut butter had a cheerier outlook on life. 63% of people who prefer crunchy peanut butter describe themselves as optimists. But only 56% did creamy. Right, so I'm probably less optimistic because I like a creamy peanut butter. However, creamy fans.

Yeah. Fans of the creamy peanut butter schmoov, their personality traits include being a bit more of an early bird and being more introverted. This makes sense because I'm a night owl extrovert. Yeah, that's what it says. Crunchy is more likely to be.

Now, underneath, there is the puzzling part. This questionnaire was commissioned by Jif. Oh, no, no, no. Jif is a food brand. Jif.com. Yeah, there's Jif peanut butter. I'm not eating GIF peanut butter. That cleanses with a harsh cleanser.

It's not the abrasive cleanser. And now it comes in lemon peanut butter. It comes in plain white caustic stuff. That's in America, not... Yeah, I've heard of it. Oh, right, okay. What do they call their GIF then? If their peanut butter's called GIF,

what do they call their... Cream cleanser, probably. Nosh cleaner. I've seen that Parallel imported GIF, and it was called something like Gif or something. Gif, or I don't know. Gif. Sif. Sif.

It was Sif. It was Sif. Like short for Sippy. Sif. Sif. Cleaning liquid. I've bought this. I bought this from Cracker Jack.

Remember I said- He loves the Parallel. I love Cracker Jack. He loves the bargain. Why am I paying $6 for Jif when Sif is $3.50? It's mathematical madness. And it's got the good chemicals in it that New Zealand bans. Do you know that?

I think you're just making that up. It's Sif, baby. Get on board. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A cosmetic surgeon. You may have seen the story. It's really crazy. Because of social distancing and courts not being able to function as they are,

people are doing, if it's not obviously a super serious charge, this happened to be a traffic court violation. So this cosmetic surgeon had a traffic infringement that required a court appearance. Usually it would be like walk in, this is what's happening, this is how much you have to pay, or he'd say, I did it because of this reason, the judge makes a call, can either fine him or let him off. But they're doing them over Zoom.

Right. And the time that he was scheduled to appear at the Sacramento Superior Court Department, and the officer that issued him the ticket was also there on Zoom. This surgeon was actually scheduled to be in surgery. So he was performing

in a surgical operating theatre with his phone jacked up so he could appear in the district court and the footage he keeps being asked, is now a good time? And the judge is like when it gets to the judge and the judge can see him, and the footage, he keeps being asked, are you, is now a good time? And the judge is like, when it gets to the judge,

and the judge can see him, he's like, are you in surgical scrubs? He's like, yep. And he's like, should we reschedule this? Let's reschedule this. He's like, no, no, no, I'm sir. Sir, I'm in the operating room, but I'm available for trial. Let's go right ahead.

Wow. And is in there, like, getting ready to do surgery. And he's also appearing via Zoom link to deal with a traffic infringement. I love that later on he reassures them there is in fact another surgeon there. Because the guy keeps going like, what is, no, we can't do this.

You know, like we're happy, you know, we'll just push it to another date. It's like, no, no, don't worry. There's another surgeon here, so. And the judge at one stage said, I do not feel comfortable for the welfare of your patient. You're in the process of operating that I could put on trial,

notwithstanding the fact that the officer is here today. And he's like, oh, there's another surgeon here with me who's just doing his fair share of the work right now, but that's cool. Let's get this done. I like this. Just got it out of the way. His version of doing stuff at work while you're working,

just taking care of your life admin. Life doesn't stop when you're at work. No. And if you've driven a bit fast one day and you haven't paid your ticket and it's gone so far that you've been taken to court. Do it during work time. You've got to deal with it. Whether you're a librarian or a surgeon,

you've got to deal with it when you get a court date. And there's probably quite a lot in America, there's a lot of court dates. So you probably, you know, it was hard to get a new slot. So we would have just been like, in America there's a lot of court dates so you probably, you know, it was hard to get a new slot so you would have just been like, nah, let's do it now. Just get it done. If I had an office job, I would take care of all my life admin during office hours.

Well you're there at a computer, aren't you? And that's where most life admin happens. And it looks like you're working. Take a phone call. Yep. I always think about things though, like, you know, behind you, Vaughn, is a window and so I can see the reflection of your screen. So you couldn't do too much, you know, web searching or Facebooking or anything like that without me being like... I was unaware I was being monitored.

Vaughan's doing that. Well, you're on the work Wi-Fi. You're being monitored. Well, over last year in New Zealand, when lockdown level three and four happened April, May, over 40% of New Zealanders worked from home. Wow. So that definitely means that not work-related stuff, be it life admin, be it hobbies. Maybe you were on a Zoom,

because you know how it got to the point, Zoom was exciting because you could see everyone. Then it got to the point where if you weren't talking or weren't conducting the meeting, you'd turn off your camera and mute yourself so you could still hear what was happening. And maybe you were doing a puzzle or some baking. Yeah, I used to do a lot of cooking dinner on Zoom meetings.

Just have it to the side. Pop yourself on mute. Yeah. Well, I had a friend that worked when he was in New Zealand. He's moved overseas now. He just had a little like an office, but it was like a private office. And I think his desk was away from the,

his computer was not visible from the door. Yes, right. So what, he had Netflix and work. Just watch movies. And he'd get through Netflix and work. I was like, that is some amazing slack off multitasking. Would he have half a screen dedicated to each? Like have Netflix and half a screen?

Or maybe on his phone or an iPad. Yeah. I like that. You've got to pick the right Netflix show, though, because some are full attention shows. Oh, yeah. I think probably your sitcoms would be better. A background show.

A background show. Because I like to work with Netflix in the background. So that would work for me. I'm trying to think about when I've had a normal job that's not, you know, camera or performance stuff. What I used to do, definitely a lot of Facebook back in the day, a lot of that.

I also had, when I worked in a clothing store, I had a crush on a boy who worked in a cafe up the road and he used to come in and just hang out in the store and then when my boss would come out from the back, he'd shop,

like he'd pretend he was shopping. See, but you're like, what am I doing? What was your boss doing back there? Sounds to me like the boss was getting up with some shenanigans in the back room. Not necessarily shenanigans. If I worked in a shop, I'd be in the back room all the time. Me too.

I'd probably have made a little nest back there. A little bed as well. We'd love to know, in the last 12 months, with so much working from home, what you've done on the company time. It doesn't even need to be working from home. It could be in the office. Do you slack off multitask

I have done a bit of trade me purchasing while I've been on air that's alright that's not frowned upon we daren't frown upon that because one day we may need to do it you can't fire me I've only got a couple more months

alright we're talking about what you've done on the company dime what you've maybe life admin with so many people working from home and not so closely monitored. There's not someone walking behind you that can spy over your shoulder and see what you've been up to.

I had a friend when I was at uni, and she worked in a reception for a hotel at night, and she would study. She'd do all of her study. I've wondered that with security guards and overnight clerks. If they just watch endless amounts of YouTube. You're essentially getting paid to get your degree. Not good as that.

But then I'd rather sleep. Chumblers, if I was doing that, if I was in security, people would rob the place and I would have been studying or watching YouTube. Oh, yeah, then you're in trouble. Then you're in trouble. Yeah, because you're alt-tabbing between Netflix and the actual security camera footage you're supposed to be watching.

Gabby, what did you do on the company dime? During lockdown last year, my boss had scheduled a conference call every morning just to catch up and make sure everyone was okay for wellbeing purposes. And I used that time also to do my Zoom gym classes because they were coincidentally at the same time. So I would log in for my conference call and go on mute and do my workout and then unmute and they asked me to check in on how I was going and feeling. So great, Gabby. And Gabby, can we get a, what's your part of the business up to? You'll be like.

Everything's good. I was definitely trying not to do that. Yeah, it was great. So, yeah, that was excellent. Yeah. Brilliant. All right. Well done, you.

Can that set us up on the work time? Lots of people saying they played with themselves. Oh, jeepers. Lots. Thank you. Thank you for keeping up. Good on you. Yep. Somebody.

Self-preservation. It was really important during lockdown as well, you know, to look after yourself. 100%. You've got to love yourself. Work out, eat well. Yeah. I work in accounts receivable and our phones get monitored. My colleague and I have been playing Secret Sound,

so we've had an estimate of over 300 calls to your 800 number. Any advice on what we're going to say in our quarterly meetings to explain what these numbers are that are not work related? I don't know.

Well, they're free, aren't they? It's a free call. Yeah, but that's using their time, you see, because if their account's receivable, they're going to be calling people and then how long

is each phone call? Oh, say it was a call to the minister, the health line. Yes. Because you were worried that you went to Kmart that weekend. What, 300 times? Yeah, because you couldn't get through, so you kept trying.

And if they call and it comes through to us, we'll pretend. We'll play along. Yeah, we'll play along. Exactly. Hello, health line. Jarette speaking. I panicked. Jarette.

I panicked. I panicked. I'll get it together. I will get it together for this. Jaret. Yeah, we're like, ZM. And they're like, is this the half line? Yes.

Hold on, I'll just put you through to Jaret. She's like, isolate. We're sharing an 0800 number. Yeah. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. ZM's $50,000 secret sound.

Tell me what the secret sound is. ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound. Tell me what the secret sound is. ZM's $50,000 Secret Sound. It's all thanks to Star. Streaming now on Disney+, including more originals like Solar Opposites. You can learn more at Disney+.com. Current jackpot, $20,000. Janelle, good morning. Morning.

All right, so the secret sound. Have you gone through all the clues? Yes, yeah. There's a clue every day this week at 4 o'clock, so the secret sound. Have you gone through all the clues? Yes, yeah. There's a clue every day this week at 4 o'clock, by the way. ZM, secret sound on Instagram with all the wrong guesses, all the clues you can pour over. So you think you've got this then? Well, I'm hoping I do.

Yeah, I'm hoping I do, yeah. Well, this is the secret sound. Soundkeeper Rouse is here, and for $20,000, Janelle, what do you think that is? Is it painting on canvas? Oh, like a really close-up. Like a brush. Swish the brush over the canvas. That's not a bad guess.

It's not a bad guess at all, actually. And how does that work with the clues? Yeah. There's Jason Greig, who was an artist, and you need your hand to paint. Correct. You can still do it in lockdown. Yeah, you can.

Yeah. The only one I haven't got a thing for is the last clue, so yeah. Right. Well, you've done your research, Janelle. Well done. But now it's time to get down to it is that the secret sound no it is not that was really good though and they all worked well with the clues yeah well well one's a drawing board you don't go home empty-handed 100 janelle uh we give away a $100 to every wrong guess.

All the jackpots. Cool. So no losing. Well done. And your next shot coming up at 11, 1, 4, and 5. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan, and Megan, the podcast. Well, if you've been following this season of The Bachelorette as closely as I have,

you would know that the final was last night where Lexi chose her man. And here it is. For those that haven't watched it, this is where you go bye-byes. On the phone, Lexi joins us with Hamish. Hello, you guys. Good morning. Good morning indeed.

Now, first question we've got to ask. You are on one line, so we're going to assume you are still together. Yeah, we're still together. We keep making jokes about just like inviting each other around for these interviews, but then I think people think we're serious. Oh yeah, because the filming wrapped up quite a while ago now and you've had to keep it secret. Has that been a bit of a bit of a mission?

Yeah, it's been a bit of a mish, but it hasn't been that bad actually. I think we think we met because of the show, so we try not to be frustrated about what else the show brings, you know? Yes, of course. So how long have you had to keep it a secret? About three months. Wow. I couldn't, I've got such a big mouth.

Were you allowed to tell anyone? Like, where have you been hiding away? Because obviously if anybody else was there, they'd have to know. Unless you were in full disguise the whole time, Hamish. I did meet Hamish's family at home visits and he met mine. So all our family know and are safe. So kind of all our family houses are safe zones. Hamish has been a little bit in disguise because you guys are on

Have You Been Paying Attention tonight, which we filmed yesterday in Level 3. And Hamish, you're rocking a beautiful stache there, a beautiful tache. Yes, yes. I thought I'd just go off that. My dad has one, so I thought I'd finally join in. You assumed it would suit your face. And it's been a very good disguise. I wear my hat forward and people

don't know who I am. Have no idea. That's why the glasses with a fake moustache and a nose have always made such a timeless costume. It really throws people. I understand Superman so much more now. What do you think of the moustache, Lexi? Not every woman is a

moustache lady. That's not what you signed up for. Oh, do you know what? I'm such a fan. He keeps wanting to shave it off and I stay stand strong. Oh, yes. She's a moustache fan. So three months. Should have had it from the start.

Yeah. Three months keeping this relationship a secret. Have you guys had a fight yet? Have you had your first fight? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, yes. Brilliant. What about?

Oh, all sorts of stuff. It's a real pressure cooker situation. The first night you get off the show, you're like, no. No cameras around now. Let's fight about something. It's real. Yeah, so what? Things have been annoying you about each other?

Let's get into it. Just general stuff, really. And then watching the show back has been challenging at times. Yeah, I bet it has. Yeah, it's not too bad. We're actually quite proud of ourselves, hey? No, you should be proud of yourselves. I think, you know, if you watch the American Bachelorette or the likes,

even the Aussie one. People get stabbed, don't they? They love to carve a even the Aussie one. People get stabbed, don't they? They love to carve a shiv and shove it in someone's side, don't they? You've got to pat them down for weapons every morning before they start. Whereas I do have to say, Lexi, you absolutely conducted yourself with the utmost grace. And Hamish, you were very much the same. I'm going to say you were my pick from the start, but that's a lie.

I was team Paul all the way. No, but you didn't want Paul to win because you want Paul on the market should you decide to. I didn't want Paul to win because should I leave my fiancé of 10 years, I'm – You want to move on with Paul. You'll be slipping into those DMs. I might be slipping into those DMs and hopefully something else.

Tell me – Something more comfortable. I'm really sorry. You're standing at the, this is presumptuous of me. Maybe you're not at the moment cohabitating in a bed, but let's just say if this has been discussed, this is a very important thing when you're establishing a relationship. You're standing at the foot of the bed, looking at the bed.

What side of the bed do you sleep on, Lexi? I always sleep on this side, hey? The right. If you're at the foot on this side, hey? The right. If you're at the foot looking back. Yeah, me too. You're on the right. Yeah, me too.

Did that marry up with what you were into, Hamish? Lexi's next to me and he thought it was all good. Aww! What a bullshit answer! What a bullshit answer!

Girl, you're not on TV anymore, mate. You're not trying to win anymore, Hamish. You've already won. Give me the truth. Oh, that was sweet. That was sweet. That's really sweet. I'm so happy for you guys,

and I hope it's all going to just roll out lovely with a bit of privacy finally. Oh, well, it's your first day. It's your first day as a public out couple. It's pretty exciting. It's so crazy. We're going to walk out

of the house together. Oh my God. The paparazzi are going to be waiting. Well, enjoy your day guys. I don't know if you are. Oh yep. Enjoy your day.

You're not in Auckland, are you? So you can actually go out. No, we're in the Bay of Plenty so we're sweet. Oh, wow. Maybe you can hit the water in Ohopi and redeem yourself. Catch a beautiful fish for your woman, Hamish.

I know. So enjoyed watching your journey, guys. Best of luck. And now we're going to move on from you guys and move on to The Bachelor with Moses Mackay. Are you guys going to watch? A quick turnaround. I understand if your heart can't handle It's a quick turnaround. I understand

that your heart can't handle it just yet. Yeah. I understand. It's a lot in a short period of time. But we're going to watch. We're going to tune in for sure. Oh, awesome, guys.

Well, have a great day. Have a great life. Thank you. Have great kids. Thank you. All right, Tavi. No pressure. See all you guys soon.

All right. Have a great shed apartment at a Ryman retirement home. Yes. Let's look forward to that. This is all the best ever. Yeah, shed funeral plot. Have a good shed apartment at a Ryman retirement home. Yes. Just all the best forever. Yeah, shed funeral plot. Have a good one dying before the other, and you've got to farewell your soulmate, you know,

and put them in the ground and realise that life now is going to be a solo journey. Yeah. Enjoy that. And then enjoy just saying to your grandkids things like, I just want to be with granddad now, that sort of thing. Enjoy that. And then forgetting everything because you've got dementia. Yeah. What a lifetime to look forward to, guys.

Flesh, Fauna, Megan. The Podcast. ZM. Dogs. Sometimes I think they get a bit too much credit. They can sniff out money. Do you watch the dog show? Do you watch the puppy thing on the telly?

Dog Almighty. No, no, no, no, no. This is the real one. You've got to be specific. There are literally hundreds of dog shows. There's this show on the television.

Customs. No, I've got... Yep, yep. No, that's what it is. It's the puppy training. Oh, yeah. That is so adorable. They get like the bagels.

They have like a litter of bagels and they're like the sniffy ones. If it's in the mail, they'll find a truffle. But they're sniffing out. There's dogs now that can sniff out. Money. Cancer. Yeah.

Have you seen that about dogs that can sniff out cancer? Or I watched a documentary on these amazing dogs called Anxiety Dogs, and the dog can sense anxiety when your anxiety is maybe leading up to a panic attack, and they stop it. And those dogs that can sense or they know when the owners are epileptic, when they're likely to be having a seizure or they have a seizure, they bark and carry on.

But then there's the anxiety dogs that can kind of calm people down before it becomes a full-blown panic attack. Usually the anxiety dogs are big dogs. Now I feel bad for poo-poo and dogs. I was going to say, do you still stand by your statement of dogs get too much credit? So the great sniffers. They can sense earthquakes. What?

Don't they go nuts before earthquakes? Isn't that animals on our birds? I know birds are like, let's get out of here. Yeah. We were given wings. We don't need to be in this tree. But then why do they need to get out of here? Because they can.

Oh, yeah. They can just float around on top and watch the whole planet. The wild animals went crazy when there's been earthquakes before. So, okay. So, dogs are great at sniffing. Great sniffers. And they always have like the golden retrievers and the Labradors that are like the assistance dogs.

Like they help people who have visual. And police dogs. They'll bite offenders, won't they? Great. Yeah. I like them. Well, okay, I feel really bad about saying dogs get too much credit. You are taking a hard anti-dog stance and stay with it.

So dogs apparently know when their owners are lying. Kyoto University in Japan apparently aren't interested in trying to solve COVID It seems like there's a lot of hands on this

Too many chefs in the kitchen. Spoil the broth So we're just gonna have some fun over here So poochers can work out when their dogs no, when their owners are lying to them And apparently they actually retain that memory as well

and then start to become untrustworthy. Like holding against you. Like you with your M-O-T-H situation, I won't even say the word, where you pretended that you... It got me. Yeah. That I had been eaten by the moth. So now your daughters find you untrustworthy for the rest of their lives.

The man that cried moth. Yeah. So now, so dogs can do it too. So if you fool them, you know, if you keep lying to them and they know it, they'll be like, this guy's a liar. I'm not going to do it. I don't think that's true because, you know, when you throw the ball and you pretend to throw it and they run away because you're stupid.

But that's when the ball part of their brain takes over and they've got no control of that. Yeah, right. Well, my friend's dog, my marching coach. What kind of dog? This is always important too. A shipoo? The little.

A shipoo. A cross and a shih tzu and a poodle. Yeah. Oh, is it actually a dog? Yeah, a shipoo. Yeah, a poosie. It's not a shipoo. Okay.

Erina, what is it? You're listening. But whenever Charlie will bark, Erina goes like, come on, Charlie, we're going home, to make her come over. And that's a big lie. But they're not going home. No, they're not going home. Okay.

So Erina tells this lie every five minutes. See, I think poodles are pretty dumb. She's like, we're going home, yay. Tam that up with shih tzus who had it too good for too long. Yeah, right. And you've got a lacking of survival instinct. Right, so maybe it's only some dogs. Yeah, some dumb dogs.

I'd be interested to know. They don't mention what breed of dog they tried it on. Well, I will say, we're going to take this with a grain of salt. They tested 34 dogs. A lot of dogs in the world. Definitely more than 34. Kyoto University maybe didn't have a big budget for this study, so 34 pups were tested in total, a mixture of breeds.

But if you lie to them enough where they can see the outcome at the end was a lie, they'll stop trusting you. Okay. So if you're like, come here, I've got something, and then you get there and you're like, ha, empty hand. How do you be honest with your dog? How do you be more honest? Well, you say something like, come here, I've got a treat for you, and you actually have a treat. You don't like, come here, I've got something. And then you get there and you're like, ha, empty hands. How do you be honest with your dog? How do you be more honest?

Well, you say something like, come here, I've got a treat for you, and you actually have a treat. You don't like, come here, I've got a treat for you, and they hear treat and they come over. Or you go, walkies? And they're like, yay, walkies, and they come to you and you just tie them up. Eventually they're going to stop coming.

They know we're telling porkies. They know. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, big, sudden, deep breath in? Because your lungs are like, there's all these roots coming off them, right? And the ends of them are very, very important. But they don't get exercised as much as the main parts. Well, I'm just going to believe you here.

I didn't know that. And it is fact of the day segment. So at this point, we believe anything you say. Anything I say. No, I think we've covered this previously in some lung-related fact of the day. A little bit of air. But it's also related to today's fact of the day. Okay.

Oh, that felt good. Give it. Everybody, can we just take a moment as a nation to take a couple of deep breaths? I think we've all done that in the last week. Not like a slow, no, no, no, not like a sigh, not like a slow deep breath, like a sudden intake of air to really expand the lungs, okay? Right. This is the opposite to yoga breathing.

It is. I don't know what it is. This is fight or flight breathing. Yeah, it's a fight or flight panic breath. Yeah, okay. So three, two, one. Okay, that felt good. Oh, it doesn't feel good to me at all.

Take it in and get rid of it as quick as you can, okay? Three, two, one. Okay. See, your lungs feel bigger. I'm not the only one there. I don't know if they do, yeah. Feels like you're blown out of... I've got a panic attack coming on.

I'm sorry if I've triggered anybody's anxiety with that panic breathing. Their heart's just like, what's happening? So it's kind of to do with today's fact of the day as well. Today's fact of the day is how boa constrictor snakes work. Oh, yep. What do you think happens? How do they, in your mind, this is not the venomous, your king cobras which bite and they venom.

Well, they wrap around and they cut off the oxygen, don't they? Yeah, they coil and make it all tight and then they crush your bones and squish your lungs and then pop goes your head. Because they get cats, don't they? Sometimes they get cats. They get everything. Oh, they get everything. Have you seen those ones where they swallow a whole cow or something

and it's just undigested inside of them? That's sometimes what I feel like when I overdo it, like when I don't eat breakfast and then I go crazy. You're like, yum cha. It's sitting up here. And I lie down and I'm so swollen that I imagine some Sri Lankan farmers are going to find me and put me on the internet and they're going to go viral. But look what we found in our swamp and it's just me going,

I shouldn't have got the ice cream balls and the custard tarts. I'll work it through. Just leave me. So I, like you, have always believed that it was lack of air that killed you. Yeah. When a boa constrictor wraps up any of its prey. It's not. What is that?

They put you into cardiac arrest. What? So they wrap around you and, for example, if they start at the legs, they wrap really tight around there to the point where blood can't get into your legs. Okay. Then they'll fall over. Yeah, so you're on the floor at this point. You're on the floor.

You could have been on the floor to begin with. Maybe you ate too much yum chow and you couldn't move and you were making a joke about how you looked like a bowel constrictor that ate too much. And then meta-level irony is that you then get eaten by a bowel constrictor. So it comes and it wraps your legs up. So now blood can't get to your legs. Yep. So your heart's like, well, I'm only supplying this upper half. And it keeps wrapping and it keeps wrapping. And the heart's like, holy shit, why isn't any blood getting down

there? I'm doing all this work. And it's all just going to the arms. So now more blood's going into your arms and there's too much blood in the system. And it causes your heart to go into cardiac arrest before you stop breathing. And then it eats you. And then it like does that until it can feel that your heart's no longer beating. Sometimes it doesn't even need to wrap its prey totally up. It can wrap three quarters of it and just pull real tight, forcing you to go into cardiac arrest. It's got you so tightly bound,

it can then feel that your heart's stopped beating. And it's like, it's not going to be able to fight me now because I can just eat it and then it'll unravel and eat you whole. That's a horrible way to go. Like, if you're going in this way you've just described, you're going to feel your ankles breaking first, right? You're going to feel a bit of a snappage down there. If it's so tight that no more blood can enter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do they get humans that are awake? Nah. Like, surely not. Like, you'd just hit it, wouldn't you? Or get a stick. How many people get killed by boa constrictor? See, I think it's one of those things like

quicksand. When you're a kid, it's a big worry. And you're worrying about snakes the whole time. Granted, we don't have any snakes here, but then, yeah, you're never going to go on. Okay. In the United States, this is the first thing, I won't go too deep. In America, where you'll actually find them,

17 people have died from large constrictor-type snakes. Right. Between 1978 and 2012. That's not bad. That's probably up there with shark deaths. But most of those were early because since 1990 to 2012, which is the study. It's because of that J-Lo movie, Anaconda.

Just one. No one trusts him. Because of Anaconda, right. And you know what it was? I remember one guy died because he had two massive ones as pets. Oh, right. And he got blackout drunk. And they ate them. That's on him.

Yeah, that's on him. That's on him. It's like the person that broke into SeaWorld and fell into the tank and then Tilikum killed him. And everyone was like, Tilikum! And he was like, what? This guy was drunk. Come on. He deserved it. I'm Tilikum. Come on. And he was like, this guy was drunk. Yeah. He deserved it. I'm telling him,

come on, let me out. So today's fact of the day is that boa constrictor snakes don't kill you by making you unable to breathe. They force your heart to stop. Freaky. Fact of the day, day,

day, day, day. Yeah. I do. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, day, day, day, day. Is anybody really self-aware of their breathing right now? Yeah, I am. Like, keep breathing, keep breathing.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Story in the news. This comes to us from Palmerston North. About a five-year-old starting school. Yep. Mahina Rangi. She started school. And then when mum went to pick her up,

she said she was surprised. Okay. Just to find out that the teacher had said that the name was a bit hard. So we've just shortened it to Rangi. Well, you just literally said it then as quickly as so we've just shortened it to Rangi. You just literally said it then as quickly as you'd say Rebecca. Mahi Rangi. Not only is it quite easy to say

like you say just look at it, give it a go and then you've got it. Ask to confirm pronunciation and then we're all in a better place when someone's name said right as a vag-han. What did that woman call me the other day in Wellington?

That's right. What did she say? Yawn? Did she call you yawn? No. Vag-han. And there's another language where a V has another sound. Oh, no, that's right.

Oh, a W? Wayne. She said as it said Wayne. Yeah. I was like, no. So I said, that's very interesting, though. What's the story behind that? She's like, oh, I knew a young man whose name was exactly like yours, but his name was Wayne. Yeah. I was like, no. So I said, that's very interesting though. What's the story behind that? She's like, oh, I knew a young man whose name was exactly like yours

but his name was Wayne. I'm like, no, his name was Vaughan but you called him Wayne once and he was too scared to tell you you were wrong. Or the Chavons who spell it Siobhan. Siobhan, yeah. Irish, what is it? Neve? Irish spelling is Nearm? Yeah. It's got a bit of Irish in there.

But the takeaway place called Vaughan Vaghan once, read out his name. Vaghan. It was a Peter Pit. Yeah, oh, right. They're not in business anymore. But I feel like people make even, you know, the most straightforward common names difficult.

My friend Erina gets a Reiner. That sounds sort of bodily, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. It's a terrible pain in my rhino. The doctor says it's a rhino. I've got a bout of a rhino at the moment. It sounds like

angina. You know the Oh yeah. What were you guys talking about? So this teacher shortened it to what? Rangi. Rangi. Rangi. I bet she didn't say Rangi either. I don't want to slander this teacher.

I don't want to speculate, but maybe. Yeah. The thing that the mother is upset about is that, you know, that she comes from a proud Māori family that want their daughter to carry her name with pride. And, you know, Years and years ago, my family had a totally different name and then they called themselves the Pauls on my mum's side. Really?

Yeah. What were they? Because we were Christophersons. Well, it's a bit... You're Christophersons. Well, yeah, my grandad's grandad. And then they went to Smith. Why not? Because he wanted to fit in. I think he jumped off. I think he was supposed to go to Sydney, but he got to Wellington. He's like, this is all right. I'll just jump off here.

Yeah. But then they were like, Christopherson, where have you gone? He's like, well, I'm Smith, so I don't know what you're talking about. And because back in the day, there were no passports and photos and stuff. Yeah, right. I can't imagine how different it would have been if he'd jumped off in Sydney. You could be working for Triple J and be a music wank. Thank you for thinking that.

And I could be a music wank. You're welcome. I'd be telling you the top 100 on Australia Day. You would be thinking I could be a music wank. You're welcome. I'd be telling you the top 100 on Australia Day. You would be, you could be, yeah. Well, and asking musicians in interviews I'd be asking them about like chord changes and stuff. What inspired

the chord change in the third verse that wasn't in the second? Oh dear. And everyone listening would be like but the musician would love it because they're always like, I'd like to talk more about the music. Well, you know, most people find your song catchy, but they don't know the intricacies of the chord changes, etc. So we just want to know about your boyfriends.

But we thought we'd open up the phones this morning and just talk about the troubles that you have with your name. When it feels to you as the name owner like no one's even trying. Mate, yeah. Irina. Irina. I've never seen Irina written down. Irina.

She just messaged saying they also call me Arena. Like a spark arena. Like spark arena. Or Tina Arena. And so we want to know how much trouble you have with your name. Now, Hayley, if you look over at the screen, line five. I want you to introduce this caller. Welcome to the show, Zephania.

Yes. Yay. I'm guessing people say Zephania. Yes, at a prize giving. That was the best one, Zeefania. Prize giving, was it like at school? What is that name? Sorry? What is the origins of that name?

Oh, it's actually a Jewish name. I'm not Jewish, but Dad decided he liked it. And my mum has told me my whole life that it's a character building name. Right. They named my brother Oliver. I'm not sure how that works.

He gets an easy ride. Doesn't have to explain every five minutes about the... Do you think now having a name that you have to explain to everybody, is that a good thing or a bad thing? It definitely makes me memorable. Yeah, it does actually. You're not going to forget Zephaniah. No, and the full shebang

of Zephaniah will mean a steal. So, you know, you only have one of them. And then they name your brother Oliver. You sound like you should be one of the Bridgerton season two and you've come from a foreign land across the sea. So is it Zephaniah or Zephaniah? Yeah, it's got an H on the end of my passport,

which makes it Zephaniah. Wow. So you don't even know. All right, hey, thanks for your call. No worries. Zephaniah. Zephaniah. Zephaniah.

Zephaniah. Let us all see! Sorry, you've joined us in the middle of a screaming fit. ZM, ZM, Fleeche, Warren and Megan with Hayley Sprouse, Sagala, James Arthur. We're talking about the trouble that you have with your name. And I tell you what, Hayley, I'm excited for this because don't look, don't look.

Okay. We're going to go line one first. Would you like to bring in line one? Corley, you can look now. Welcome, dig, dig, don't look. Okay. We're going to go line one first. Would you like to bring in line one, Corley? You can look now. Welcome, dig-digg-digg-ics. Digish. Digish. Digics?

Digé. Digé. Now, how's that spelt, Digé? It's spelt D-E-G-E-X. Oh, okay. If you'd gone for a couple more letters in there between the G and the X, I would have Frenched it up. You know how the French will put an E-A-U-X on the end?

But the X is doing that, isn't it, Dejay? That's adding the flavor. What's the origin of that name? So it's actually my great-great-grandmother's last name. Oh, wow. I like that. Yeah. Deja.

Whereabouts was she from in this? She was, I think, Dutch or something like that. Okay. Deja. And so do you obviously just spend forever telling people how to say it properly? Oh, yeah. Through schools, all the teachers and all the relief teachers are always like, they almost didn't even try.

They're like, Dee. Yeah, do people bail on you, Dejay, and just call you Dee? Dee. A lot of people just call me Deej now. Deej. And do you think, like the last caller, do you think it makes you memorable? Yeah, I guess so, yeah.

If you don't mind me asking, what's your surname? What is this teaming up with? It's Jansen, but, I mean, it's supposed to be Jansen. Jansen. Oh, my God. Deja Jansen. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, it's a movie star name, isn't it?

Do you rap, perchance? Because Deja Jansen is an album I'm buying. Oh, do you reckon? I think it would be sort of like French rural rap. Or jazz. No, it sounds more like a jazz or something. Coming in hot with his new hit, Deja Jansen. Deja, thank you very much for your call.

Coming on some smooth jazz. Hayley, could you please bring in line two? Okay, line two. Lomiali. I panicked. Lomialagi? Yeah, pretty good. Are we clapping?

Are we clapping for that one? No, wait a minute. We'll hear how it's actually said and then we'll judge if it deserves it. It's Lomiolagi. Lomiolagi. Oh, okay, right. Because N, is it a Samoan name?

It is, yeah. The Gs have always got sort of an N sound going into the G, don't they? Yeah, yeah, but a lot of people don't realise that. So, I mean, yeah, since I started school, every time the teacher paused, the whole class knew. Yep, she's here. And you're just hands up, you're like, yep, I'm here.

N before the G. Things you call Hayley line four. Oh, there's a J I'm going to suspect. I know that one. This is... Yannica. Yannica? Yes, you got it.

Wow. So spelt J-A-N-N-E-K-E. Yeah. Yannica. What do you get then? You get your Janiques? I get Janiques. I get Janiques.

Janiques. I get Janiques. And then people forget the end part or they get like the first part and forget parts of it. So they just call you Yarn or Jan. Yeah, so I went the whole way through high school with a teacher

that got the Yarn part but forgot the end of it. So I got Yarn a K the whole way through high school. Yarn a K. 50% there. Wow, brilliant. Yana K, thank you for your call.

Hayley, line five. Ailsa. Ailsa? Ailsa, yes. Ailsa. Ailsa. So not Elsa, but Ailsa. So you spelled A-Y-L-S-A.

Correct. You would get Alyssa a lot, I'm imagining, because the Y and the L, they'll be like, oh, they've made a typo there. They don't know how to spell their own name. They call you Elsa. That's correct. Or Alpha.

Yeah, right. Okay. What was the parental thought in putting the Y on that side? It was after my parents' friends, so her name was Ailsa, so they went with that. You got Ailsa? Alright, brilliant. Ailsa, thanks for your call. Some text messages, Ed.

My name is Melody, but I always get called Melanie. People just go... See, that's lazy. I've got a friend, Byron, always 10 times out of 10, Brian. Brian, or Ryan. It's a different name. Yeah. always. Ten times out of ten, Brian. Brian or Ryan. It's a different name. Yeah.

Somebody messaged in, some of my grandchildren's names are Days, Nas, Dayon and Zyilia. Now, I've probably said none of those, right? You probably haven't. At all. That really confused my Nana when her great-grandkids, one of the first one was called Xavier. And she was just like, huh?

A name that starts with X? She was just blown away by it. So, yeah. But it's good to keep them on their toes, you know. It's like doing a Sudoku. It keeps your brain healthy. If you give them hard to pronounce grandchildren's names, they have to think about that keeps the brain active, you know.

Fight off the old people's stuff. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, yesterday we were reading, I was going to say reading the internet. We read the whole internet. Yep. And the things on there, guys, there's a wide range, including an article about a British woman who didn't know she was pregnant until the moment she went to the toilet and she gave birth.

Which is mind-blowing, right? And I've read these a couple of times. They pop up, these stories, you know, in your Cosmopolitans, your Daily Mails. Yep. And I'm always like, it's unbelievable that these people are in denial or they surely would have known. You're calling them liars.

I'm calling them liars, but now we've found someone who has had this experience and she joins us on the phone. Jay, hi. Good morning. Hi. Now, Jay, this is incredible. Thank you for sharing this story with us. Yes.

Tell us about this. How did this happen? Well, I didn't get birth on a toilet. I wish it was that easy. Okay. But it was a... So, well, one night I just started getting pains and I honestly thought it was my kidney.

So I just chilled and went with it, didn't sleep all night. And then in the morning I went to the doctors and got told I was in labour. Okay. How old were you when this happened, Jay? It was three years ago, so I was 23.

Okay, 23, so young and healthy. And in the months leading up to the so-called kidney pain, you had no idea that you were pregnant? Nope, I had just started a new job, actually, and I was at my lowest weight. You were at your lowest weight?

No idea. Did you have a little puku, a little bump? Nope. Oh my God. Where was the baby? Where was the baby? Was the baby born, like you say, you don't know, was the baby born healthy and full term? Yes, she was.

I think she was over term actually. They said she was all on my back. Oh, my God. I just imagine, like, Megan, who you're filling in for at the moment, Hayley, who's on maternity leave, she, like, would tell you. The ankles, the... Everything, the pain, the uncomfortableness, the heat, the sweat. The sore boobies, the lack of your cycle.

And you just, you didn't know at all. No, I've got an 8 month old boy now too so when I think about it I'm like how the hell did I not know that she was there So second pregnancy you were well aware of the fact you were pregnant Oh yeah, morning sickness big pocky, everything

That is mind blowing, oh my god So Jay, when you went to the doctor and they said you're in labour, what was their reaction? You were like, no, I'm a national voter. Oh, how dare you pursue my political alliance. No, my love, that is not what I mean. No, she just asked if

she wanted me to call my mum, if I wanted her to call my mum. So she did that and I called my best friend because I didn't want to tell my mum if I wanted to call my mum. So she was there and I called my best friend because I didn't want to tell my mum because my sister was also pregnant and she was 37 weeks. Oh, so you pipped your sister at the post. Yeah, you were like, sorry, God damn it, I love it.

As a middle child, that excites me no end. As a middle child, I'm the oldest. And did the doctor or anyone have any explanation as to why you didn't have any pregnancy symptoms or why there wasn't at least a bit of a small bump? Not really. They just said that baby would

have been all in the back and they actually said when I was there that it's more common than people think so at least they just said that to make me feel better. How big was the baby when it was born? How, how much did it weigh? Seven pounds, seven ounces. So, like, oh!

She wasn't small either. No. I mean, I'm sure it's hard to put into words, but where was your head at? Because, you know, you didn't have that nine-month build-up to prepare yourself to being a mother and plan and get a room ready and get all this stuff. What was your head doing?

It was a bit all over the show, but my mum helped me stay pretty level-headed and I have real good family and friends around me. That's so cool. And you said three years ago, so you've got a toddler now and an eight-month-old. So does the kid have any understanding I mean three's young not a lot but what a story for when you're older

to be like hey I didn't even know I was having you till you were literally like here I am yeah everyone can't wait to tell us when they're being a hormonal teenager and they're like I wish I was never born you don't want me

I didn't even know I was having born. You don't want me. I was like, yeah. I didn't even know I was having you. I didn't even know you were coming. Jay, thank you so much for sharing that story. That's incredible. It's alright. I mean, I only had a chance to and I get shut down a lot, so I've never really seen it. Why do people shut you down? Oh, they just struggle

to believe it because, you know, pregnancy is such a thing that you do know is there. Yeah, yeah just struggle to believe it because, you know, pregnancy is such a... Yeah, intense. Yeah, yeah. But when I think back, I went off like the... I went off bacon and I'm like, well, that was a bit weird. So, when I look back, there's more things I can... Like the smell

of bacon, that's probably the only thing I can think of. Oh, and I had a toothache. You had a toothache? Bacon and toothache? It's toothache. I don't really like bacon. I've got a bit of a toothache. You had a toothache? Bacon and toothache. It's toothache. Well, I don't really like bacon. I've got a bit of a toothache at the moment. No! I'm supposed to be covering maternity leave,

not getting pregnant while I'm here.